The Little Dum Dum Club with Tommy & Karl - 626 - Nick Cody & Alex Ward

Episode Date: October 5, 2022

This week we're joined by NICK CODY and ALEX WARD! We get stuck into clothing sizes, bad tattoos, Karl's new wedding ring and of course, we've got some updates on a certain prestigious ceremony we're planning - we've got some big names on the hook, and press releases are being sent out. PLUS in Talkin' Dum Dum we get absolutely carried away and end up creating an incredible new reality show. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today on The Little Dumb Dumb Club, a brand new episode with guests Nick Cody and Alex Ward. We have a big live show coming up in Melbourne Saturday, October the 22nd at the Comics Lounge. Very exciting, Carla. You pumped up for this show. It's the 12th birthday, Tommy, and it's a two-in-one. What else are we celebrating? We're celebrating the prestigious first-ever inductee into the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. That's right. It's our favorite comedic performances from the HBO drama Oz. Yes.

Best bumming. Best shower block bumming. So that'll be good. They'll be recreating that live on stage. So get down there. It is, yeah, it's a birthday show plus. Let's just see what's going to happen with this thing. So get on down there, little doggies.

Melbourne, Melbourne people and surrounding areas, this is for you. Yep, littledumbdumbclub.com for your tickets. Go grab them now. We will talk to you more at the end of this episode in Talking Dumb Dumb. But until then, enjoy this new episode with Nick Cody and Alex Ward. Hey, mates. Welcome once again into the Little Dum Dum Club for another week. Thank you very much for joining us.

My name is Tommy Daslow. And with me as always, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day, Dickhead. Joining us today, two very special guests, the other half of the program, Carl Chandler. G'day Dickhead. Joining us today, two very special guests. Please welcome back onto the show, Nick Cody and Alex Ward. Yes. Very special.

Oh God, you've been telling me this off air and I've got to remember to do this, Tommy. From now on, I'm not allowed to wear my wedding ring during the show because there's some sort of reaction it has with the microphone. Well, I got a new recorder thing, so it might not happen anymore, but for a while it was like I did notice any kind of jewellery. I feel like John Lennon in the early Beatles where he wasn't allowed to let anyone know he was

married. Great excuse. Great excuse. You want to look attainable to us? Yeah, yeah. And I feel like Mark David Chapman. The number of listeners that are like, God, I'd love to fuck that guy. Shame he's married, though. But I can hear the ring.

So they go, oh, well. Yeah. Oh, well. Give it a little clink on the top of the microphone just to show them that you mean business. That's actually his cock ring. Yeah. There we go.

Sorry, ladies. I'm taken. Off the market. It's a good ring. It's a good wedding ring. Yeah. There we go. Sorry, ladies. I'm taken. Off the market. It's a good ring. It's a good wedding ring. What do you mean? Your one. I like it.

You know what? Just like a... You know, I've told the story in the pod, haven't I? About how you got married. No. I think it's come up. I can only assume this has to do your wedding ring is shopper docket and... Worse.

How worse? Kinder surprise. Kinder surprise, yeah. Again, I think worse. I got 28 bouncy balls and then a wedding ring. No, this was part of it. When we did the 500th or 600th episode with Tom Gleeson, maybe people didn't really believe it or whatever it was,

but this was, I lost my wedding ring. Oh, that's right is a this is a stand-in i lost my wedding ring and i was also on the 500th you piece of shit yeah well i lost my wedding ring and then i kept it from my wife for a long time oh that's right and then she didn't notice and then i was in phuket and i was i went to a roadside market and they had all this jewelry there and I was like oh yeah I could do that and I and I bought a wedding ring for 80 cents and that's what I've got right now an 80 cent wedding ring on yeah but what the nice thing is it also ties back to something I've talked about on the pod that infuriates people which is I've got a really bad habit of of going to Thailand

or even just going generally shopping and buying pants and then getting home and going that doesn't fit and I do it over and over

and over physically or culturally? no physically it doesn't fit with the vibe I'm trying to give off at the moment it's a lot of fisherman pants

going on MC Hammer pants you should that's the solution there's a lot of pairs pants going on. MC Hammer pants. You should, that's the solution. There's a lot of pairs of Levi's with N-words on them for some reason. That is the solution.

Just start wearing those fisherman pants because there's no like, there's no true size of them. You know, they're so baggy. It's happened more when I've been on holiday

than usual which makes me think maybe I'm swollen a little bit with the hot weather or something, I don't know. A bit of tie puff. Yeah, maybe.

You puff up in the plane too so you can't be wearing them. Well, I'm not buying too many jeans on the SkyMall. Just go into the bathroom and try them on, will you? I'm not surprised on Jetstar that they don't come down with a fucking lost property bag and just hawk shit off out of it. Well, you know, it's one of those things where it's like... Here's one earbud. It is one of those things where it's like an's one earbud yeah it is one of those things

where it's like an annoying task you know if you need a new pair of jeans it's like I walk around different shops try different pairs on if you could just

knock that off in a flight fucking heaven two birds with one stone yeah yeah yeah I had a grim thing boxing day sales last year I thought I haven't bought new jeans

in fucking ages Levi's have a sale on I know what size I am bought a bunch of them must be nice. No, they turned up just the, well, sorry. I thought I knew what size I was. They turned up like just after New Year's and I put them on and they didn't even get

to knee. Like they got to chin and I went. You've upped in calf size. No, I realized what had happened was that. No, we know what had happened. Don't worry. You're looking at me. But I didn't know that denim just gives up.

Like, I had these 34 jeans that were, like, stretchy and they just broke down over time and just gave in. And I'm not a 34 now. What do you think you are? Well, I know I'm a 36 because that's what I got. Yeah, okay. And that's what fit. But I didn't even...

Lucha's like, are you trying the others on? I'm like, they're all the same. Nah, I can't go through this with multiple pairs. are you trying the others on? I'm like, they're all the same. Nah, I can't go through this with multiple pairs. You're like a 36 foot a 34 maternity. That is brutal, isn't it? Like a pair of pants in the mail. Not even the knee band. And then having to send that email where you're like, hey,

I did that recently, to email the store and be like, hey, I'm really sorry. I just can't even get these on. I've just really underestimated my waistline after lockdown and everything. Oh, you gave them reasoning. Yeah, I was like, would you take these back? And they're like, normally we don't, but this is such a sad story that I can't take them back. Man, on my form, I just wrote time changes everything.

You know, I just said them. Man, I thought I'd try and like do a sexy wiggle up, like a late 90s, early 2000s film after a hookup. The guy wakes up, the chick's sexy putting the jeans on. Maybe I can Cameron Diaz my way into these bad boys. No bueno. It's that thing where they always say, you know, denim, it expands. So it's like, you know, you're thinking like,

oh, they're not going on that easy. Not that quickly. But also, you know, as soon as you open the package, you know, you just know as you're visually like, oh, they're not going on that easy. Not that quickly. But also, you know as soon as you open the package, you just know as you're visually looking at them, you're like, these are not getting on me. I know what a pair of pants that will fit me looks like and this ain't it. Well, we've talked about this on the show before,

but I don't know what my size is. You'd be 34. You'd have to be. Okay, maybe. Maybe 32 or 34. I don't know. Is it have to be. Okay, maybe. Maybe 32 or 34. I don't know. Is it your fault though or does it change? Because in women's sizing, it's just always changing.

It's not even me who changes. Well, I love that excuse, but no, it's not that. It's not that. A men's club. And it depends on the brand. Maybe. You know, the fit of jeans or anything. Carlin is my Tico's sizing, just changing every week.

Every time I go in. Don't tell me you're buying jeans, they're like, what size are you? And you're like, medium. Yeah, yeah. No, honestly, this is what I do when I go and try on stuff. I did it in Singapore a couple of weeks ago. I go, oh, yeah, I could do with some shorts. And then I go up and go, okay, I guess I'm taking five or six pairs in with all different sizes on.

Because I don't even, I wouldn't, if you said, before I walked in the shop and they go you're a size 60 i'd be like cool all right i'll go and get that and i wouldn't know i just i never remember the fucking number yeah so i just get like six of them and go in and try on one and go hey i'm 10 sizes off there all right i've narrowed it down you know what you need it's the sorry it's the saving grace for just a middle-aged man. And I've went into it recently before I taped my special and that is I was in Melbourne. I looked at a few different places for shirts. I was like, that's not it.

And then this young girl came up and went, David Jones, if you just go there. And she was correct. You can try on heaps of brands in one place. Yeah, yeah, no, that's very true. I've just given up on anything remotely. Not that I've even tried to get into it, but now I'm like, sick.

Just the one. Just got a DJ. I know you've given up. You're wearing a Luke Heggie t-shirt right now. You're wearing your podcast co-host fucking merch. I thought that was like a JJ's number. And I got given these shorts too. The shit I'll spend money on and the shit I won't are very weird.

Right. Yeah, yeah. You want to go Jetstar? No, what am I, a pig? Corey Parker's like, you want my old training shorts? I'm like, sick, bro. You should play for the Broncos. You look like you're about to fly Jetstar.

Yeah. You really do. You look like you're on your way. You look like you've just exercised, but you also look like you haven't just exercised as well. Because I went to the gym and then fried and tasty. There you go. Perfect.

Perfect. Perfect. What a combo. He's got two different types of sweats. Good and bad sweats. And you've absolutely bought jeans in the middle of those two things. Oh, yeah. Halfway through the tenders order.

You're like, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. Fuck, I wish I was doing this at the gym rather than at Fried Tasty. That's awesome just being in a place where the acronym is FAT. That's perfect.

That's the best. But so what I don't get, what I don't understand about this, Carl, because you've talked about it at length on the pod before and it's still happening. Yes. So it's like you're aware that this is an issue.

Yes. You've got pants on right now. Yes. Why can't you just at the end of the day drop them and have a little look at that tag? I know, but when you're in a clothes shop and you're looking at a rack of clothes, you can't drop your own pants in the middle of the fucking shop.

No, no, no. But what he's saying is like go in with the, like if you stand up now, it'll say it on the back. Does it? Where? On those? Is that what you said you were wearing?

Where does it say? On the pants. There'll be a size thing like on the pants themselves. Oh no, maybe not on those. They're nice jeans. Yeah. Cheese style roars. Yeah, show us.

Why don't you take a photo? It's right here next to the Daimontis that say slut. No, yeah, but he put those on himself. That's all I've done. Get the glue gun out. Don't they just save your sizing on your Supre account? Same juicy pants again, please.

Hello, Mr. Hardy. I've done it again. I'm getting extra help with the chain prints. There's a six-coloured flower over the top of the size so I can't read it no but on the inside of the jeans they'll have the

they'll have the little number there and you've never even out of curiosity just had a peek no just take a photo of it just have it ready to go on your phone

I know but you know what it's like I'm waking up from a dream every time I'm in the middle of the shop and I'm like I need pants there's the pants well I could go outside pull my pants down have a look but I'm not the middle of the shop and I'm like, I need pants. There's the pants.

Well, I could go outside, pull my pants down, have a look, but I'm not going to do that. So I just get an arm full of fucking pants and I walk in and there's a girl there that's always like,

oh, you just, are they all different styles? No, no, no, they're all exactly the same. They're just six different sizes and I just don't know. I'm here to find out, I'm here to find out

at age 46 what sort of pants I fit into. And they're like, I never know. You know what? I don't know. Anyway, update. I went to Singapore.

I've talked about this heaps. I went to Singapore a couple of weeks ago, came back, went in there, bought a pair of shorts, came home, wrong size. Too small or too large? Always too large. Yeah. Always too large. Perfect.

Must be nice. I'm now wearing fucking a belt with my shorts. What sort of shorts? Are we talking some little denim shorts? I'm not wearing a belt on my fucking swimmers. I don't know, man. I never know with you. It's just nice to check.

The tailors in Thailand are great. They can make you a suit. They can put belt loops into your billabong. Belting up the Quicksilvers. Can I get a belt with my Speedos, please? That's a strong look, honestly. Shirtless, just big, thick leather belt. Big belt buckle on it.

I like the old skater belt just hanging down. Oh, yeah oh yeah yeah yeah one of those belts fucking awesome on a pair of boardies yeah that's sick oh yeah with like the airport latch

like it's like an airport seatbelt how you close it it's just that latch bring them back is that an army belt is that what that's called no I just thought

they were like skater belts I thought they were always skater belts I don't know why yeah the ease of the ease of buckling no set like

no set length on it oh yeah I'm going to bring that look back just see people seeing me up on stage and it's like is that cunt

you know you can see the little bit of the bit of hang under the shirt I think it's been brought back by 18 year old lesbians okay

my demographic yeah so that's that's that's my problem with clothing if it makes you feel better

anytime I've had like an audition for something, you've got to fill out the forms. I don't know what eye colour I have. Oh, great. Every time I have to go, yeah, I know what I'm fucking doing, and go selfie. I don't know right now.

I'm like, oh, blue. Yeah, I'm blue and green. I don't remember. Look, are they bright? And Luke's like, they're your eyes, fuckhead. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, you're looking at it and I'm not. Yeah. One of the few things I can't remember. Yeah, yeah. Like, are they bright? And Luke's like, they're your eyes, fuckhead. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, yeah, you're looking at an omni. Yeah. Yeah.

One of the few things I can't see, actually, are my eyes. Yeah, yeah. That's good, because you get to be like, not vain. Don't ever look in the mirror. I wouldn't know. You never make eye contact. Not once. Not with yourself.

Where you brush your teeth. In the mirror. Not even a glance. Yeah, but I'm not, I don't know. You're not focused. He's not brushing his eyes. Yeah. You know, he's brushed his teeth.

Getting a haircut, though. I mean, for a bald man, that'd be an excuse. It's like, I'm not, I don't know. He's not brushing his eyes. He's brushed his teeth. Getting a haircut though. I mean, for a bald man, that'd be an excuse. It's like, I'm shaving my head. How often am I looking in the mirror? But you, you know, you're going in. But I'm the same. Like, you know, those times, those weird things in the auditions

where it's like, you've got to fill in every bit of detail about you and whatever. I was like, I got the name and the rest of it you can figure out. Like, what the fuck do I? I don't know my height on 178

I assume 6'3 that's why you expect it to know that's why it's good to round up a bit no 6 63 centimetres I'll tell you

people always tell me I look I seem taller than I am like when I'll meet someone who's seen me do stand up they're like oh I thought you'd be taller

I'm always like yeah because I'm on a fucking stage every time I feel like that's all it is you're the reverse you're the reverse

man there's a there's a did I tell this story in the pod there's a very well known comedian that was on the stage of Basement

a while back and there was a very attractive girl in the front row and and after the gig

like it had gone well and this comedian came up and went oh that girl in the front row. Thinking about making a move in the break. I'm like, oh, yeah, cool. And he's like, yeah. I'm like, is she with someone?

Just like Sam Pang. No, no, no. Because I was like, I think. Just like Tom Ballard. Hopefully she's a Pang head. Because I'd seen the girl and I'm like, I'm pretty sure that girl's with someone. And I'm like, so what are you sort of basing this on?

I'm like, what's going on here? And the guy goes, yeah, no, no, no, no. I'm pretty sure we're on here. I'm like, why are we on here? Like, what's going on? He goes, yeah, she was looking at me. And I'm like, you're on stage, cunt. There's a big old light. And that's the only thing to look at in that direction.

You'll probably pull 130 routes tonight. Every other gig he's done, no one's looking at him. The one time everyone hasn't walked out. Oh, great. Yours is the only comedy gig where the audience are all facing the stage. Every other gig in the city, famously, they're facing the back wall. Must have been startled the rotating so i don't think we ever got to the bottom of this because you i do remember now you're talking about this at the five six hundred yep the uh the bootleg wedding ring that you've got your wedding

ring that was um filmed on a handy cam in a cinema yes it's got it's got an engraving of someone walking past it yeah yeah It's all shaky. Has the wife ever clocked that this is a fake ring? I did end up talking to her about it because I lost it a few times. Good use of language, not telling her, talking to her. We entered into a discussion. She said, you idiot, I got the original one for 20 cents in Thailand I thought you of all people

would be able to barter bargain down she's accepted it because I've lost it so many times after that that what are you doing? well here's the thing

I've lost so many times that she's gone she's now gone you know what as long as you've got something there on your finger like that's like that her standards have lowered that much now that wow as long as there's fucking something there yeah that i'll i'll put up with it that's gonna be you with like

a hair elastic yeah yeah yeah yeah just doing the polished man charity I'll pay it. Just a burger ring. She's like, love you, babe. No, no, no. Come with this rotten burger ring. Eat an excuse to eat a bag of burger rings every day. You know what it is? No, it's just a piece of string. It's like, you know, to remind me not to get fucked by someone else. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So she's like, yeah, that's fine. But why I bring that up with the clothing is clothing is is because I never know my size I've got the fucking wrong size with my ring I would really because I was going to say

that's pretty you know but that put it on easily no no no that's really that is really loose that's really loose now mine's the same

but I just had it on here because I was at the gym I have it on my wristband on my watch and you don't desheathe your fucking finger when you're doing certain weights

you know but the if you just if you lose a bit of weight or water weight like mine's too loose because when I got it measured

my wife's auntie was the jeweler and I'd gotten back from being overseas on the road for like four months and I'm like

just bring it down a size the wedding's eight weeks away I'll get my shit together and she's like a lot of men say that and then on the day it's just fucking

we have this discussion a lot after pods with selling merch where people are like do you have any extra large nah I mean I'm on a diet at the moment

so I'll get a medium I'll fit into it in a month's time and then we see him a year later and it's like back for a large are you yeah they've got it

on the jacket like a patch you see them at smash burger pod yeah yeah but you can if you lose weight or just even lose water

you know a bit of like because I've had I've fucking if I've blown out it'll be a bit tighter again and then you lose weight

and it's fine no this is really loose in that I keep losing it without even noticing it comes off my hand so easily I don't even notice it. And my child is constantly finding it.

She thinks she's finding different rings every time. Like I'm hiding them around the house. It's like, no, I'm just losing them all the time. You're just losing the one. Wait, when you say them, you're just losing the one ring. Yes. All the time.

It makes it sound like you've got just like, I mean, it's crazy that when it was 80 cents, No, my ring identifies as an M. It's crazy that you've given it as 80 cents. You didn't just go, you know what? I'll buy up in bulk. I know. I'll give me $8 worth because I'm probably going to go through them.

I've genuinely thought maybe it's worth going back to that same market. I'll go back to Phuket one day just to stock up. Yeah, just to stock up on rings. It would surely fit in Thailand with the humidity. Yes. Well, I think that's maybe the trick. My ring fits in Queensland but not down here. Does it really?

Yeah, I also lost my engagement ring but I found it six months later. Where did you find it? Under the car seat. Oh, that's classic. It had slipped right under and it had gone under the foot. 80 cents? No, a lot more than that. Under the mat?

Yeah, under the mat. And I just like that side of the car never i don't really have like just passengers so it's clean but i got a wedding band instead because we haven't even gotten married but i was like let's just get a wedding band instead because i was like yeah i was like whatever let's not because then i can just have that on the day because i don't want to buy another engagement ring and then it showed up but so yeah did you show us your engagement ring one time when you were on the pod? And it's sick, right? It looked like a...

Yeah, it's a nice ring. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't a great day. And we were on our way to an engagement party and it was just a little too... Rubbing salt in the wound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Damn.

The girl kept coming up to me like, have you seen my ring? I was like, Hannah, look over there, there's a bird. Trying to steal it off their finger. That looks just like my ring let me try it on it is my ring

hypothetically well this is so lucid this is literally what's happened I it comes off in normal

everyday use like crazily like gesticulating wildly in a story and hitting someone in the head with it

this is literally what I did I gave my child a bath and just sort of quickly moved and hit my child in the head with the fucking ring. Flew off, hit her in the head. Okay. And then she had to go find it in the fucking bath water again. And that was because you didn't eat veggies before.

You just got to figure something on the spot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I think you should do? Take it off at bath time. She's not at the edge where she's fallen. Me take it off's me take it off yeah but then you're taking it off for fucking everything like no just bath like anytime it'd be wet like yeah but it's not my bath time it's my kid's bath time yeah but you're getting your hands wet we go ewe ewe girl germs in the bath do you do hang on do you take your ring off in the shower?

Yeah. Do you really? Of course. But why? I just don't like the feeling under there. It's on here a lot, unless I'm wearing my normal watch. But anyway, I just take my watch off and ring, put them next to each other on the...

I would never remember to put them on if you were taking it off that often. Do you wear a watch? No. No, because it's all... Like, that's just on the wristband. Okay. I'm breaking into Cody's house when he's in the shower.

Yeah. Stealing his ring and his watch. Yeah, yeah. Nice little payday. Double treat. Thank you very much. The pie cooling on the window sill. You know what the solution is?

She's told you she doesn't care what's on the finger as long as there's something on there. Get a little tat. Yeah, the huesy. That's what huesy's got. You're married. Yeah. What if i get a tattoo too big for my finger i've got a full sleeve

it's just one color yeah that would be amazing what if i did that i got a tattoo on my ring and then it just bled and it just kept like enlarging and covering my hand. I'm like, how is this even fucking possible? You should get some jeans tattooed on. Yes. Those would fit. That's good.

Yeah, they're sort of like jeggings. Except they're really on there. The fly looks a bit weird. But yeah, just a full sleeve, like a full like flash art all over the finger. Like a little sumo wrestler

or a little fucking fucker. You've got one. It's a solid tat. It's not an over-the-top tat. Just keep it basic there. Don't go back to the bloke that didn't even fuck that up. Your tat. Didn't he go too big on one of the nuts and then he had to try and make up

with the other one no I basically I got the work experience guy that did it have you got a bad tat have you got a dodgy tat it's not a great tat it's it's

it's a really simple looking one and I I went I've told this before but I went to the tattooist of my friend

who got an excellent tattoo he said you've got to go to my guy and then I came in with a really simple design and then his guy went and like clearly beneath him and he's like tattoo you've got to go to my guy and then i came in with a really simple design and then the guy

his guy went and like clearly beneath him he's like i'll just get gary to do that one and then gary gets on it and like hand traces what i had and i'm like you have got this is like a really simple symmetrical design and you have and i sat there and he shit his pants because i just went so hard on him because I got so I panicked I was like this guy doesn't even know

how to fucking use a pen and he's going to do a tattoo on me and I was like literally I was explaining the concept of tattoos to him in the end I was like

I don't know if you know but this is going to be on me forever and you've got this and this and this wrong look at the fucking angle on this thing I'm a graphic designer

I know what a fucking angle is sounding less and less like he fucked this up and this and this wrong. Look at the fucking angle on this thing. I'm a graphic designer. I know what a fucking angle is. It's sounding less and less like he fucked this up and just did this on purpose. Your ring's flying, hit him in the face. He's like, oh, my arm. I wish. I fucking wish. That's the snot in the food you send back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yell at the guy that hasn't finished colouring you. To be honest, I think it was more just wobbles because I really made him shit his pants and then he's going extra nervous and extra hard. I'm like, I don't know if going harder makes it better or what's going on here. He's coloured in for longer. Yeah.

That's such a good, that would be a good bit. There's a celeb gossip account that I follow on Instagram that did a thing the other day of like where all the big celebs get their tattoos from. So like the place that does like all of Pete Davidson's tats and the person that did all of Adam Levine's and just like basically people asking for like, where do the celebs go? Where are the best ones? And it's like finding one of them.

Neither of those blokes are great examples. Well, no. Literally. But they all do go to like, they'll have like their guy. Muhammad Ali. They'll all have their guy who's like the, you know, like a really, so obviously you got, you know obviously you put in a request, six-month waiting period, and then you get in and you just go, just the number 10 on the chest, thanks.

You're just absolutely wasting their time with the most simplistic second shoe you could get anywhere. Can I get the infinity symbol on my wrist, thanks? I forgot for a second that you were actually describing Carl's tattoo, which is the number 10. I thought, are you treating this like a Chinese takeaway joint? Can I get the number 10? The number 10.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would be good. My partner just... Sizzling beef back piece. Imagine that if you just got beef and black bean sauce on your back and you're like, no, no, no, I meant the number. Yeah, yeah. Just a sweet and I meant the number. Yeah, yeah. Just a sweet and sour in the tramp stamp area, thanks.

Your partner got a tattoo. A tattoo two days ago and I don't know if I like it. And I've been trying to like say the right things. But it looks so much like a pretend tattoo you got as a kid. Like the, what are they called? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, I'll admit, I'm behind the trend of everything with her like she'll always be like wearing stuff like why would you wear that and six months later it's quite

fashionable so i'm hoping i'm behind the trend but it really does look like it's a removable tattoo like so you didn't so this you didn't know she was getting it done or you had like a different idea she had four ideas went in there so i didn't know which it would be. Right. I didn't like any of them. That's so weird to go into a shop. I knew I was going to be disappointed. That was the only... I know you're saying behind the trend because she's got a cool tattoo and you've rocked up with a wristband like you've rollerbladed here.

That's because I fucking saw the tattoo inside Punch in the Wall. The Queenslanders come out. What is it? That's a shit turn. Yeah, what is it? Talk us through the tattoo. It's like two hearts. It's a fine position below the here.

Forearm? Yeah. Two hearts, but then it's got like squiggly lines around it and some little sort of stars. Are you seeing it looks very like came in a box of Barbie princess? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm getting an image. Colourful?

No, just black. Just line art. Just line art. Just line art. Because I've seen where people get the heart and then there's like the ECG, like the heart beat on it. Oh, yeah. And they'll go, that's my daughter's first heartbeater photo with a, you know. Yeah, and there's a lot of shading and it's just around the heart.

Really, I don't know. Look, I'm hoping I'm wrong and that it is cool. Yeah, yeah. But then also, whatever. I've got, you know, like got you know like everyone you have to look at it forever yeah well maybe i won't if she listens to this you're just you're just getting like pumped for winter where she's wearing long sleeves yeah i just told her maybe i'm not used to it yet but she's like well you're gonna have time to get used to it so i got i got this i got a 10 on my chest and they sort of fucked it up. And I'm like, I just wish I had the confidence of those people

that go in wanting people's faces tattooed. Oh, they're never good. What a fucking roll of the dice that is. They are never good. It's pretty rare. When you see a face tattooed and they've done it right, it's like, who's that guy? I need to use that guy and I reckon he'll nail a 10.

Yeah. And the worst is I feel like it's often a sombre story behind it. They're like, oh, someone I lost. No one's alive. It's always someone. This is my super happy friend, Steve. Yeah. He's so happy.

So I've got his face tattooed. You have to be like, well, your dead kid looks shit. You're not looking at someone with a face on their neck and then looking next to that person going, oh, that's the face again. He's still alive. We had a great night last night and I thought, this is it. This feels like I'm getting a tattoo of you. I always have a great time when I'm out with you.

I assume that's a drawing of the coroner's photo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's an immemorial thing. That's not a... Do you think that's a thing where you just know if you're a tattoo artist? If someone's coming in and saying, I want this face, no follow-up questions. No one's posing for the tattoo. Yeah, I'm not doing the art and just making conversation,

being like, so who's this? Is it a family member or currently alive best friend? Get them on the video chat. Someone who's never driven drunk in their life. Unless it's Eminem or something, there's not a lot of live people getting tattooed. Yeah, yeah. Someone got a tattoo the other day of a drawing that I did, which I felt really weird about. Yeah.

Just a drawing that I'd posted on Instagram. They just like, because I'll often do just like a page of stuff in my sketchbook and just put it on Insta. And it was like someone had screenshotted one of them from my stories from fucking ages ago and just sent me the thing and was like, hey, would you mind if I got this tattooed on me? Which is like, what a question. Who's the person that's gone? You were like, yeah, but I get to choose where.

Yeah. How did it make you feel? Were you like, are you happy with the drawing? No. When someone comes after a show and they go, you know what, my favourite bit of yours, and they tell you your 48th best bit, you go, that is horrendous.

I love that. Because you're like, oh, I'm doubting that bit. If someone's favourite bit, you're like, it's worth keeping. I'm keeping it. I guess it was a bit of that but it was a bit like, yeah, I mean, I wish, yeah, it was one I don't even remember doing. I don't think it looks particularly good. It's not even on my feed, man. Yeah.

You picked a story art. Yeah, exactly. This is just loading. Yeah, I was... You picked a story art. Yeah, exactly. This is just loading. Yeah, I did say... There has been some dumb dumb listeners that have got your artwork tattooed before. There was a guy who... Surely you've got the burger. Yeah, it was this one.

Is that a nose dripping? Yeah. Show me, show me. A snotty nose? Oh, really? It's a person in a little helmet with a snotty nose. It's very simplistic. And I was like, yeah, I mean, sure,

I don't think that's a particularly good drawing or tattoo, but yeah, good for you. I do like... It is one of those... Yeah. Right. It is one of those ones where it's not over the top. I like it.

It's cool and different. I'm not into the snot, to be honest. It actually looks better as a tattoo then. But, you know, I was kind of hoping that then I would get the picture. And I was hoping... Because it's like you give that to the tattoo artist and they're like, yeah, no worries. I was hoping that I would get the finished product back

and that the tattoo artist would have gone, you know what, I can fucking improve on this. Oh, right. I was really hoping that the person just would have gone like off tap with it and just like added their own shit to it. Turned it into like a little manga manga drawing you know just like did this fuckhead even attempt to color it in there's so many colors yeah but yeah i'd love to be uh i know some artists will put a thing where they're like you know you can get a tattoo but uh here's a paypal link if you want to oh

you got nothing for that But I did tell this guy That I was like Yeah go for it Just send me a photo When it's done And you know

And I was like I'd love to see a video of it In progress as well Didn't get the video Just got the final thing I wanted to see this guy Fucking suffer You're not tatted up

Are you Cody No not one I was talking about this With my wife last night I In life I have to fight Just every day gut instincts

of the worst choices in and this is how i still left the house dressed you know what i mean it's like this is me like having thought through worse options right but every tattoo idea i've had three days later i go you would have been the dumbest cunt yeah i've worked at a summer camp in the u.s in oregon and the at the top of the hill overlooking the camp, Camp Silver Creek, it's one of my favourite images and I wanted a back tat of the trees and the... You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? What? Back tat. Yeah. Jesus. That was an idea I had on Monday. Back tat of the sunset. My God.

No, of the mountains and the tree line. I just like the tree. Sure, sure. But I'm like, what a fuckhead. Yeah, that's pretty. And it's just been that and worse. So anytime I think of something, I go, don't do it. Well, if you know it's going to be a bad idea,

what if we crowdfunded the money for you to get a tattoo of Luke Heggy? Just on your chest. No, back tattoo. Back tat and then uh you have to tell the tattoo artist that is your friend who died i died can it be like a like a torso like a full back i want torso of luke heggie yeah like a rib like like the size of you almost but scripture but just one of his bits yeah yeah you get it looks important just with the font you're like what is that him popping out of your pelvis and then you've got

the Ben Cousins and it's a speech bubble so it's Hickey saying such is life. Yeah. Do you know Max Price? Yeah. He worked on Kinney

and he, my favourite shit tattoo, so above his belt line, he was in Hong Kong, he grew up in Hong Kong, he was drunk one night, went out, got a tat

and he wanted to, he wanted like a gun, like a pistol. Oh, my God. Didn't have enough cash. And he goes, well, he had enough cash for a gun. Or he goes, or I could get... No, he couldn't afford the gun, so he just got the half gun. So he lifts up his shirt. He's got the handle of the pistol.

Oh, right. So it looks like it's holstered. Yeah, it looks like it's holstered. But if you pull his pants down... Hang on, so you can go into a tattoo parlor and go, can I have half... I've got enough for halfstered. Yeah, it looks like it's holstered, but if you pull his pants down. So you can go into a tattoo parlor and go, can I have half, I've got enough for half a gun.

Can I have a large tattoo, half gun, half... Hang on, look at the price board. Guns, $300. I've got $150. What can you do for me?

I'll do you a handle. Can't I have the end bit? Like, nah. That's the cool bit. You could only afford half of $20, which is why you've got your... That would be amazing. Can I have a tattoo of the number 20?

I've only got half the money. No worries. Here's a 10. That is awesome, though. The Max Prize one's like pulling up the shirt and you've got the little... Where does it end? So it just starts with the belt and goes up. Yeah, so you just see the handle. So if he lifts the shirt and you've got the little holstered gun. So just start to the belt and goes up.

Yeah. So you just see the handle. So if he lifts his shirt up you see the handle. If he pulls his pants down there's nothing

else. That's awesome. I could just end this. Including the gun. So sick. The idea that you would like you would

be at a bar and you would show someone that and they would be like into it and then you like go home with that person and a big part of the appeal is they're like

that tattoo is so cool and then you're just the whole walk home you just sweat and go and when I drop Tr into it and then you like go home with that person and a big part of the appeal is they're like, that tattoo is so cool. And then you're just the whole walk home, you just sweat and go. And when I drop Trow, it's over. She's going to see there's not a, just like hastily going into the bathroom with a pen and like trying to draw on the barrel. Yeah, I was going to say,

he draws it on every night before he goes there. I remember copying shit once off Daniel Sloss and Kai Humphries about having no tats and those two have arguably. Some of the worst, yeah. There's people that have divorced their wives after seeing a special of a man with the fucking dark knight tattoo on him at least if you listen to anything i've said you know i stopped before getting a tree line of a camp in oregon you know i didn't go ahead with it i didn't sit there

wow i want to see you break i want to see what you actually get i want to see you with a tat in Oregon. You know, I didn't go ahead with it. I didn't sit there. Wow. I want to see you break. I want to see what you actually get. I want to see you with a tat. What's the bit you can make? I would respect you. I'd respect if you never got one. Yeah, I think my frontal lobe is as developed as it's going to get now. Let's say...

They're the poor choices. You know, you were saying before you always have bad ideas where on a day you would have gotten it and then regretted it in you know, in three days time. Yeah. What's top of the dome right now? If there was a tattoo, if you had to get one right now, what's on your brain right now that you'd be thinking like that would look cool? You got five minutes to get a tattoo.

Come on. Yeah. And you've got to think of something. You've got to think of something right now. You've got something on you forever, no matter what. Gun's there. Tattoo gun. Full tattoo gun, not a half one.

We'll put it this way. Either you think of something in the next five minutes or we think of something for you. And you have to get it. You have to get it. That's the game. You're strapped down. That's a good show.

That is a really good show. That's a good show. You have to think of something or we've got one in the chamber that we're going to have. Man, it would end up, I've just become a soft old man. It would be something like my kid said or something. You know what I mean?

A little quote from the kids. Yeah, right. Oh, your kid's handwriting? That's a classic. Oh, yeah. It's so cute. You get them to join. Get your son's signature?

Should we... I get a tattoo. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Your son's signature. What's he signing for at age three? Something your kid would write, just like fart or something. Yeah.

Are they at that age? Well, the other day he did yell out. I was going to say, I know the cliche of what you... We want to avoid it at all costs.

I know, but let's do one. All right. My son the other day did yell out. Because we were swapping these the other day and they were good.

Dad, I've got to do... I did a poo and I came in and he's like, look at it. He's standing and he's pointing at the bowl

and it was miraculous, this long poo in the perfect shape of a C and he goes, look at that, Daddy standing and he's pointing at the bowl and it was miraculous this long poo in the perfect shape of a C and he goes look at that daddy C for chips I was like

cool man alright dude let's wipe your ass and get the fuck out of here it stinks in here C for chips or crazy

or shit yeah I was telling you this the other day but my my child I don't have a few beers at the basement

so I don't yeah maybe you don't remember I'll get a second laugh out of it last time I spoke to you your kid was doing huge shits massive

still unbelievable ones they haven't been cursed they haven't thrown themselves with like kebabs and late night curries and fucking beers yet

their shits are pristine yeah it's incredible. That's the tattoo I'm getting. A full sleeve tat of one of my son's logs. Yeah, there you go. Is that what's motivating you to get fit now? Maybe if I eat well and don't do anything bad,

I can take a shit like my kid. And then inside it, it says... They teach you so much. Inside it, it says C for juice. Yeah, a little arrow pointing at it. Get it? Man, they're massive they're massive

but my kid goes yeah honestly like sometimes you're like that could be as big as his calf you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah

I've honestly thought there's been some sort of switcheroo happening at some point like that's not hers that's my wife's come in it's an elaborate prank

to make me think my kid does a big shit we went to the Melbourne show today they snuck into the animal enclosure yeah yeah yeah picked up a cow deuce yeah yeah

and somewhere there's a zookeeper going why is my elephant taking little pellet poos we're having that with the dog I don't know if you had this with your dogs Waddy but it's like yeah looking at

looking at what he's just left behind on the ground and then comparing that to him and it's like that's so much real estate that's like 80% of his body it's also the sheer yeah and if it's not just one big and it's like, that's so much real estate. That's like 80% of his body. It's also the sheer, yeah, if it's not just one big one, it's the sheer like the amount of times that my dog can shit throughout the day.

It's just like every five hours. But it's like, how can you shit three times a day? No adult man does that. Stay the same weight and you're shitting more than you're eating. Shits more than he eats. I'm like, where are you getting food? I feel like they've figured it out. Found food in the cupboard.

It doesn't add up. I've crunched the numbers. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's this weird mix of like, you know, trying to force your kid to eat at dinner and going, oh, I don't think he's eaten enough. And then you go to the toilet and you go, that's fucking eaten enough. It's fine.

There's enough coming out the back end to prove that they're eating all right. Yep. It's all still happening. Yeah. I i can't remember last time i showed someone my shit i don't have kids or i had to look at someone else's shit like it just yeah what's the age where you cut your kids off where you're like you know what you're 21 now you don't even still be bringing me in here to show me this well i'm friends with luke heggie who will still just leave a shit somewhere and run off. I'd be embarrassed to show my kid my shit because the kid would be like,

man, mine's heaps better than yours. They're like, what's wrong with you? That's so little. You're huge. Yeah. Because it is weird that it doesn't scale up with you in that. You know what I mean? How's your get up under the seat?

Oh, man. It makes me think we're just absorbing our shits and it's making me feel scared. That's why no one fits their jeans anymore. I feel like I need to go back to school to learn how to shit. That's why we all die eventually.

Soak up all our shits until we can't move anymore. They're still growing. It's when you stop growing, you start absorbing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Honestly, I'm doing little pellet ones and my kid's doing like fucking proper horse ones or something. Yeah. They take wild dumps. My dog got me a fucking ripper the other day. I was out in the backyard picking up one of his shits

with a little bit of toilet paper. Had it in the claw, right? I'm just about to... Not even using a bag. No, because I was in the backyard just going to go chuck it straight in there. You were out there shitting anyway. Yeah, exactly I was in the backyard just going to go chuck it straight in there. You were out there shitting anyway. I know the backyards on the site that you were talking about with Heggie, the terrible neighbours.

If I had a claw full of shit, that's going over arm. Piving it over the fence. I reckon that's pretty easy to trace back, honestly. I don't reckon I'm getting away with that one. So I'm there, yeah, just about to make contact with it. You know, got the paper in the hand, just about to pick it up. Dog comes up behind me and I'm already in motion. Dog comes up behind me, yanks the paper out of my hand with his teeth

and then I just make full contact. Touch around the shin. Just make full contact. I was like, he can't know that this is a funny prank, but like everything about it was like he can't know that this is a funny prank but like everything about it was like he waited till the perfect moment

and he's fucking gotten me a beauty and I'm just there with it's all over my fucking hands may as well eat it now while I'm down here I'd probably just be like

I'll just cut my hand off I don't need that I got caught out I was at the train station with the blanket and I'd stepped and I the blanket and I'd stepped and I didn't realise I'd stepped in dog shit

and then I'd done the old sit down on the train seat waiting for the train just lick your shoe while you're waiting and the old cross the leg put one leg up on the knee

and then take it down and I've absolutely covered my knee in shit and still not even realise and then little it down, and I've absolutely covered my knee in shit and still not even realised. And then little Blanket's like, Daddy, why is there chocolate all over your knee? And I'm looking at her going, what kind of chocolate are you feeding your kid? Why is there chocolate all over my knee? And then I'm like, oh my God.

And then she's like, every couple of minutes she's going, Daddy, but the chocolate, why is there? I'm like, oh, I'd really like to forget about it. Have you told her it's poo on your pants? Did you ever tell her? No, so I didn't want to say it because I'm like, this is fucking disgusting. She won't forget, man.

I'm so far away. 18 months ago, someone shit in the pool, at the local pool when we were there. Yeah. And my son will tell, like a strange wall walk past. He'll go, excuse me, lady. Man did a poo in the pool. So funny.

It's like just, if he knew I had shit on my pants, it would be as soon as he wakes up. Daddy, remember you had poo on your pants? Yeah, well, this is the thing. So I had it on there. And like, we're far from home. And so I'm thinking, oh, man, I can't? Yeah, well, listen to this. This is the thing. So I had it on there and we're far from home and so I'm thinking, oh man, I can't wait to get home and take these off

because I'm not going to say this is dog shit because then I'm all grown with dog shit on me the whole time. You're far from home. You're like, I think I'm going to have to just leave her here

to start a new life. So I'm like, oh no, it's chocolate. I'm going to have to leave these unknown sized pants here and just walk home in mine. Yeah, I'm just going to have to let go of the pants that I've been grimly holding up the whole time

because even the belt can't work that's magic on these ones. So then, like she kept asking so many times that by the end, like she actually went, is it dog poo, daddy? And I'm like, oh, she's been, I think she thought I believed it the whole time and she knew the whole time. So at the end she's sort of like, wake up, Daddy, it's Addy's dog poo. You're a fucking idiot.

Yeah, that's worse. Yeah, yeah. She thinks you're so dumb you don't know that it's dog shit. That's worse than you just going, I got shit on me. I'm going to give my dad a chance to explain himself here.

Yeah, yeah. I'll give you, yeah, yeah, yeah. So if he'll be honest with me, honesty is the best policy. You won't get in trouble if you're honest. The other day she comes up to me and goes, guess what's in my mouth? And I'm like, oh, fuck, I haven't had this one before.

And I think, oh, it's like a little... A riddle. A riddle. Teeth. And I go, teeth. I go, teeth. And she goes, no, a necklace. And I I'm like that's a bad joke I don't really get ring I don't really get it yeah I don't really get it and then I'm like oh hang on open

your mouth and she's got a full fucking necklace in her mouth and I go oh my god take the take that fucking out of your mouth how else do you get it into the neck Carl yeah so then I I hook it out and then I'm like and this doesn't happen often. I've got to be serious and go, listen, you can't do that. You don't put anything in your mouth apart from food. It's only food in the mouth. Nothing else. There's no playing.

You swallow that. You get sick. And I don't want to say dying. You get sick. You go to the doctor. Yeah, go to hospital. Go to hospital. Ambulance. You're not home the doctors. Yeah, go to hospital. Go to hospital. Ambulance, you're not home for ages.

Yeah, yeah, there's a doctor there. You can't live with mummy and daddy anymore because they're going to be here and you're going to be in the doctors with all strange people and they'll put knives in you and you'll be sick and you'll be crying and it'll be the worst thing ever. And then she just looks at me and goes, you never know. That's true.

What do you mean? She's never going to listen to you again, not since the dog shit incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This man isn't worth respecting. What would he know? Just very philosophical about it. Oh, well, you never know. Yeah.

Could be good. Could be bad. You don't. You've got to play the odds. There's no way to know until you do it. People go skydiving. I was like, I'm daddy. I know everything.

Nah, you never know. Nah, you're shit knee. People jump out of planes. It's like you jump out of a plane, you'll hit the ground, you'll be dead. It's like, well, you never know. Sometimes you do survive. Yeah, it's worth the risk of having a necklace in your mouth. If the worst thing that can happen is you get operated on,

it was worth it for the old jangling of a necklace in your fucking mouth. I will say, though, like, yeah, respect to her. Because it's like, that's brutal when you're a baby, where you're like, this is a fun bit that my parents, my favourite people in the world are going to love. And then you're just being fucking scolded. But then you're also like, where the fuck did you come up with, you never know?

Like, I've never taught her, there's no reason for me to teach her, well, well with you never know like I've I've never taught her you never there's no reason for me to teach her well well you never know well you need another one so they can hang shit on them I was reading a like one year old son

Max had an animal book and it's just gone so you go dog woof woof I'll point at the dog and Max goes rawr

and I'm like no that's a lion dog woof woof he goes rawr and then we go to the next page it's a zebra he goes woof with his hand like an elephant right I'm like, no, that's a lion. Dog, woof, woof. He goes, rawr. And then we go to the next page. It's a zebra. He goes, woof, with his hand like an elephant. I'm like, no, I don't know what sounds zebras make, but it's not that.

And I hear myself, the four-year-old, just laughing in the other room. And I go, what's funny, buddy? And he just walks in. He goes, I told him all the wrong animal sounds. Just set him up to go to kinder one day Look at this fucking dead shit Your second kid's going to be fucking 23 Still in high school

Because of his older brother It's like, no, that's a cat, mate I got kept down because of my brother Your youngest son is going to have some of the worst tattoos You've ever seen This is a cool idea. He's like, yeah, I'm going to get this snake and it's just a little lizard. Well, should we do a tiny little update?

Do we need an update on? Yeah. The Oz Comedy Hall of Fame.com. I don't know if you might know about this, Ward. Someone just followed me the other day, actually, on Instagram. I don't know about this. There's a domain. We got inspired by talking about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,

which sounds prestigious, but it's just, you know, someone just decided they were going to run that. And so we thought... In Cleveland, yeah? Yeah, something like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, is this an actual place or is it an online thing? The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Actual place. No, it's an actual place. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame exists, and they have a ceremony every year. You're all looking at me like oh no no actual place like but we're saying

like it's not like Paul McCartney owns it and it's like oh yeah it's coming from him he's a Beatle you know he knows everything it's like fucking

Joe Bloggs in Idaho went uh Rock and Roll Hall of Fame trademark I'm the fucking king of rock and roll I'm the fucking

dead shit but now everyone just goes oh that's a great thing so then we went like well if all we have to do is trademark to buy the website

Australian Comedy Hall of Fame then I mean sure we can't get on TV but all of a sudden we become the gatekeepers we say we're the ones

letting in the greats of comedy into this Hall of Fame we're the fucking kings there so it's the website up and running it is

oh my gosh and people are voting yeah I gotta vote yeah oscomedyhalloffame.com you get on that there's the ceremony so ceremonies and run it. It is. Oh my gosh. And people are voting. Yeah. I've got to vote. Yeah. AusComedyHallOfFame.com you get on that there's the ceremony

so ceremonies to be held on October 22nd the nominees are who are the nominees again? It's we've we've deliberately

had a real ragtag bunch. We want this to annoy people. We want to hear from some people who aren't nominated. dot com

dot com and it's OzOZ dot au would cost me another 70 bucks. But com. Dot com. Dot com. And it's Oz OZ. Dot OU would cost me another 70 bucks. But OZ, that's free. So it's Will Anderson,

Carl Barron, Fiona Lachlan, Hannah Gadsby, Dame Edna Everidge, the likely duo. Dave Hughes, Ostentatious, that's it.

Dickie Nee, Nick Capper, Sam Pang. So we have, at this stage, we have a bit of success we have been shared legitimately fiona o'loughlin was the first one she's taken the bait yeah take the bait and think it was real geez i mean fooling fiona o'loughlin that's literally wow fish and barrel type stuff you gotta start

somewhere yes yeah you're right you gotta crawl before you can walk we have now been shared by Ostentatious he thinks it's real he's on board he does think it's real yep he was the

big fish I wanted because it's like he's such an egomaniac that you know you want him you want him to do it but someone we did have a

someone hit him up to try and suck him in and send us a screenshot because we can't see this because we're blocked yeah we're blocked oh no yeah in fact because I created the website it's like him up to try and suck him in and send us a screenshot. Because we can't see this because we're blocked. Yeah, we're blocked. Oh, no. Yeah.

In fact, because I created the website, it's like, I don't think he can see the webpage because I created it and he's blocked me. So he can't see the Facebook fan page. Oh, any Facebook. Yeah. So he must look at it. Oh, but it might be a separate group. I think maybe they're, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. Anyway. So a fan of the show that Daniel has got do you get to go to the inaugural ceremony as a nominated comedian surely you're funnier

than some most of the others sucking him in beautifully that's fucking great yeah because some people were like we're going to do this

yeah but it was like you'll give up you'll give up the ghost yeah yeah yeah and then I still

the podcast fucking kill me the podcast hall of fame dum dum club WTF, My Dad Wrote a Porno, Comedy Bang Bang, Bill Burr, Gun and O'Brien, Joe Rogan, The Dollop. Yeah. They're all the nominees. The best Australian podcaster.

You can vote for all of them and we'll see who's eligible for the award when we get to the ceremony and who's not. You're welcome to vote, by the way. I might have to give Nick Capra a vote. I'm wondering if he's maybe trailing a little. I think you'd be surprised. But anyway, ostentatious has replied to Daniel. Won't be going.

Of course, I am the comedy king, king in capitals. None of these losers come close. Wow. But the classic old man thing, I love this, with an old man message. Ostentatious has written that message. It comes up on Facebook coming from Ostentatious with a picture of Ostentatious and at the end he signs it AT.

Yeah. Oh, so it's from Ostentatious. That's good. I love a bit of that. That's classic. Nice work. So please vote for him. Yep.

Vote for Austin. He's absolutely one of the guys. We've got to put it. I mean, it would be great if he was the winner and we then have to, you know, he said, oh, I wouldn't be going to that. But if he gets an email a week out and goes, brother, you know. You're a good chance. You've got to come to collect your award.

Yeah. I wonder if that would change things for him. Yeah. If he gets a text from an unknown number saying it's in your best interest to be at the Comics Lounge on October 22, you might be surprised. 2 p.m. Yeah. A little special event, 2 p.m.

Playtime ceremony now. We've changed it. We're live streaming it. To get him to tune up to a live Dum Dum show would be quite phenomenal. It would be... I think it would be great. I mean... I think it's the only way because he's such an angry man.

It's the only way we can. I think, I still wouldn't back us to win the fight. He gets on stage, storms our podcast. There's hundreds of our fans watching and we're still like.

And we still get fucked. No, for sure. I mean, if we could get him down at his own expense. Now that's the, I mean. Where does he live?

He's Sydney, right? So you're saying, you're saying it would be a great, great achievement to get him down at his own expense. Now, that is anti-Semitic, Tommy. That is very anti-Semitic to say that that would be quite an achievement. Well, I was going to say, if we send him a message and go, hey, come down for the ceremony, we'll fly you, we'll put you up, it's like, well, there's not...

I mean, even if you have drawn a line in the sand, there's not too many people that are going to go, well, nothing's to be lost here. I mean even if you have drawn a line in the sand there's not too many people that are going to go well nothing's to be lost here I'm getting a free trip out of it but if he's into it enough to spend his own money

no but should we offer should we look up what the prices are for a Jetstar flyer and then for the travel lodge in Melton or something that we can put him

up in there's a backpackers there's a backpackers next to the comics lounge there's one pretty close Like Miami Hotel Oh the Miami Hotel

Made famous by Andrew Wolfe Andrew Wolfe Talking about it on the show Well man What a diss for a place As stayed at by Andrew Wolfe Jesus Christ Yeah

Is the gutter booked If we If we put this to him Is he gonna hire You know Is he one of these guys That's like It's business class or nothing fellas

Oh he's absolutely one of those guys Yeah Even though he would never have done that. But, I mean, look, obviously him being interested enough to just come down, you know, of his own volition. Great. But, look, if we had to pull our money and pay to get him down, I'd be into it. Yeah. We can offer.

Let's absolutely do it. Let's offer to get him down. Let's get it quite together. I would like to see him fucking screaming and insulting us in front of, with all of our home crowd advantage. Because he's been beaten by Dickie Nee. That would be good. The ultimate outcome.

If we fly him down to make sure he sees that he didn't win, that would be good. Crossed out to a head on a stick that doesn't even have a face. But enough about Kappa. Dickie Nee. So we're trying to pump this up. We're trying to give it some legitimacy.

Yes. We're trying to get, we're trying to get it out kind of like, you know, out in the wider world. Without people thinking. Without people knowing

that we're connected. That we're connected to. And we've now got, we've got our email address cooking. We've got admin at Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. He's good to go. So I've got a, we've got uh admin at os comedy hall of fame is uh good to go so i've got a i've got a press release here ready to send out to your broadsheets and your

pedestrians all right do you want to do you guys want to hear oh sure yeah we get a preview making it too obvious i'm gonna be two very different headlines i reckon you brought a newspaper versus pedestrian it's an os comedy Hall of Fame and I can't even. I love it, but fuck me, the titles make me want to throw my computer every time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's giving Australiana. The Oz Comedy Hall of Fame

is an illustrious and completely real new venture which definitely has nothing to do with any podcast. Sounds good. Co-chairman and founder Peter Warsaw, because we're doing this under our pseudonyms, had this to say. We are excited and honoured to induct our first member into the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame this October.

The winner will have their name immortalised in a permanent location in Albury-Wodonga, which is almost as prestigious as appearing on the wall at Melbourne's Basement Comedy Club. Co-chairman and co-founder Jeff Kiev added, this year's round of nominees is an incredibly exciting group which honours the rich legacy of Australian comedy from talking puppets to men

in dresses to Nick Capper. The impending induction ceremony has sent the Australian comedy industry into a spin. Comedian Alex Ward said, I hope that Nick Capper cleans up at the awards because as someone who's lived with him, it'd be nice to see him clean up something. Meanwhile, Breakfast Radio host

and stand-up comedian Nick Cody said, I fully endorse this ceremony and award as a legitimate venture. And I don't just lend my name to any old shit. Only the coffee club, Jetstar, Freightliner trucks, and probably the fucking Taliban

if they paid me. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Jetstar, what the fuck? Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Freightliner, great truck, coffee club, drink a lot of coffee. Jetstar, that's the most hurtful thing you've ever said, including two unrecorded roasts. And the Taliban, good at what they do. You can knock them for all you like. But they're back in business, baby.

When they set their minds to something, they get it done. They don't accidentally chop off someone's foot instead of a head. They do what they say when it says on the tin. Just don't send this to Daily Mail because they're going to twist this

and it'll be like, Alex Ward hates ostentatious. They'll fuck it up. They'll be like, Alex Ward says Kappa smells really well. It's like, fuck,

back check. Alex Ward loves the smell of Nick Kappa. Transphobic Alex Ward says Dame Ender doesn't deserve to win. And they'll have the quote, man in a dress just under my name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So what do you think, guys? Is that good to send out or is – I'm happy to take feedback on it. Well, I would take out the first bit where it's definitely nothing to do with the podcast because even the Daily Mail I think could see through that. No, I'm going to take another pass at it. Take. No, I'm going to take another pass at it. Take another go at it. I'm going to take another pass at it. Take another go.

That is, I mean, for it to get a mention in just some sort of website or anything where it's not connected to any kind of stuff that we're doing would be... I heard a story about that someone did... Because I believe... I don't think we can get sued by anyone, but someone did do an Australian Comedy Hall of Fame about 25 years ago or something like that.

This is the story I heard. I don't think I can... It's not ratified anywhere. I don't think we can get in trouble for it. But... You searched everywhere. AltaVista. Yeah, yeah.

Have you asked Jeeves? I haven't got quite to the first page of Google, but I'm close. I'm feeling lucky that it's just your website. I'm just feeling lucky. I didn't even hit I'm feeling lucky on Google. I'm just feeling lucky in general. Oh, yeah.

We're the first thing that comes up. Anyway. Yeah. So now here's the other thing. We are doing this on the stage. We are presenting these awards on the stage of the Comics Lounge in Melbourne. The Comics Lounge in Melbourne have already hosted an Australian comedy awards before that happened once and then never happened again. So they're basically hosting the same award twice, like 20 years apart.

Yes. They can't tell you who ran that? Or did they do it? No, I don't think they do it No I don't No I I don't I don't think they did it I think some other people did it

I've been asked Just hired it as a venue Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah And I think the person I don't know Whether they named the person

Or whatever But the person anyway Got up there And they just I think it was a bit of a rort Unlike the You know The very

You know Clean and open process That we're doing Yeah yeah no absolutely Yeah I think it was a bit of a rort To reverse the very clean and open process that we're doing. Yeah, yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, I think it was a bit of a rort to reverse engineer for someone to win it. So then that person- I think I've heard this story. Yeah.

It's great. That person got up and then was like really emotional about it and was like, okay, you know, I've really, they told me I couldn't do it and I got up here and now I'm winning this. That should be automatic disqualification. Did you take it seriously? The comedy trophy. If Ostentatious cries

during the ceremony, I'm giving him two fucking awards. Really good, yeah. Yeah. If we could turn him into a normal person or something,

that would be fucking awesome. I reckon he'll turn all you around like Rocky in Rocky IV. If I can change, you can change. We all can change. So the rest of us, the rest of us is Russia. If I can change, you can change. We all can change.

So the rest of us is Russia. Yeah. Enemy territory. We're both Dolph Lundgren. If we sat on top of each other and put a coat over the both of us, we're Dolph Lundgren. Yeah. Yeah, right.

So he was up there really emotional. And again, great to start crying about something that's absolutely rigged or whatever. Invented. Yeah. And then so full house to see all that happen. And the host of the awards, I believe, was the great Shane Bourne. How?

How? Comedy. Comedy awards. City homicide. So then anyway, so apparently this guy gets up here, does a five-minute speech, blubbers on, gets the tears out, the big fireworks, and then leaves to a round of applause,

and then Shane Wong gets on and goes, Ha ha, tell us what you really think. And then the winner comes back on and goes, Yeah, you can all get fucked then. You can get fucked and you can get fucked. Bunch of rat cunts. Yeah, yeah. Loses the fucking...

Milan one. This person sounds mentally stable. Yeah. And maybe we've heard this story from the same person because the person who told me was like saying they were in the crowd and they saw this happen. Right. And the person who was next to them

sort of nudged them and went, fucking hell, tale of two cities. The immediate turnaround from everyone go and fuck yourself is so good yeah yeah it's fucking great also just

I love someone finally and like this person quite a hard person hard on the sleeve oh my god I've finally been accepted by this community

I made an outcast my whole life tell us what you really fucking think yeah off the back of a joke it's just a funny thing to say

and treating it as an invitation to just go berserk. Oh my Lord, it's so great. It's almost like they weren't actually funny enough to win an award. Maybe we should get Shane Bourne down to host. Yes. All right, let's hit up Shane Bourne

and see if he's available Yeah Do you think we could Yeah We'd have a line to him In some way or another Well here is the very confusing thing Because

There is I've got Australian Comedy Aus Comedy Award Whatever the fuck I've called it again I can't remember now Aus Comedy Hall of Fame Hall of Fame

I've got that On sale With our name attached to it Or anything like that So you sale with our name attached to it or anything like that so you can find these like uh tickets to it and i've got a bunch of emails from people going is these awards been ratified are all the nominees going to be there on the night what's going on what about and i'm like i'm too scared to reply to these oh yeah right so people think they're going to see like a little performance yeah yeah yeah people think they're going to see a little performance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. People think they're going to see Dickie Nee and Dame Edna

finally together on stage. Dickie Nee and Hannah Gadsby back to back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mrs. Gadsby, Mrs. Gadsby. Gadsby at the Comics Lounge, as it should be. Exactly, back to a spiritual home. Oh, God. Nanette Monday is up there at the Comics Lounge.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Find out Douglas is about Dougie Chappell and his famous bit. Oh God Nanette Monday is up there at the comic book Yeah Find out Douglas is about Dougie Chappell And his famous bit Douglas Douglas Mulray Alright That is good stuff Alright

Well We're cooking away here We'll send out the press release this week Couple of weeks to go Hopefully A couple of weeks to go. Hopefully, yeah, hopefully we get some nibbles. Get your tickets to see whatever the fuck is going to happen. Usually we're like, I know what's going to happen. We've got some ideas.

Now we've got some ideas. We don't know. We've got some experiments, but we don't know what the outcomes are. It's exciting. Yeah. This is, you know what this is? You never know. You never know.

This is the necklace in the mouth of podcasting. Did you know a daughter planned this is? You never know. You never know. This is the necklace in the mouth of podcasting. Did your daughter plan this gig? Can that please be the award? You have a necklace in your mouth and then it comes out. Yes! The award comes out of the mouth of the host. That's what you're going to get. There you go Kappa

So either you win something Or we both go to hospital I don't know If there's no winners Something's going to happen You'll go home tonight And go blanket You'll never guess

What we're doing At the comic store Oh you've figured it out now Oh she knew the whole time Thanks for taking on my idea Alright guys Well that brings us to the end Of the Little Dum Dum Club

For another week Nick Cody Alex Ward Thank you for joining us Thanks very much Thanks fellas Cody What have you got to plug

I've got a special Coming out soon That I filmed at the corner The other week I was there Carl Chandler and Milan Were there It was very funny

It was very funny In that we I hit you up during the day And I came back from Singapore That morning And I was like And then I had to go to work so I was like, fuck, what a day and then you were recording that night

and I was like, you know what? I want to come and show my face. I want to come and say hi, whatever. I was going back and forth with you and I was like, oh, just come in and I've sort of got the vibe, look, you've got better things to do than work out fucking tickets for me

and I was like, I don't really want to come and hang out. No, Chandler did a great thing where he goes, I'll just stand at the back and I'm like I'm filming like there's like there's three locked cameras there's three cameras on the move

yeah I'll man the cameras yeah and he's like I'll just sit at the bar like it's cheers yeah yeah yes but that would have been way better than what happened

which is you got stressed and whatever and I was like okay I won't touch you me and Milan came we thought wasn't stressed I said I could't touch it. Me and Milan came, we thought, we'll go. I wasn't stressed. I said, okay, get your seats.

We'll get a beer upstairs and we'll just say hi at the end. And then one of your producers or managers come up and went, you know what, come down for a beer. And we're like, we just want to have a beer stand at the bar. Yeah, no worries. Then we got down there and then they go, no worries, there you are. Second row, you can sit in the seat sec in the second row and i was like no no i don't want to i just want to sort of you know be casual and have a beer and whatever and like no no no you can sit there and go can cody see me when he walks out absolutely not and i walk out so i go okay cool then ben lomas walks out to do warm-up goes hey

everyone what the fuck and then he literally goes, fuck. Anyone, everyone ready for Nick Cody? Here he is. And like did about 20 seconds of warm up. And afterwards I go, why did you do 20 seconds of warm up? He goes, because I fucking saw you. I was like, fuck this. And just walked off.

Yeah. I thought I was having like a stroke or something. Like Carl and Milan sitting next to each other. Second row. Loving comedy. Life flashing before my eyes. Hold on, there's my grade four PE teacher. These kids really bring out the chuckle fuckers, don't they?

Yeah, Carl's like asking you after the show, hey, can I get a spot sometime? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you get nervous up there? And then you come out and then you see us and then you just concentrate on us for two minutes.

I'm like, ah, fuck, why do we sit here? And then you just go, you could see you click and go, all right, I'm not going to look at you for 58 more minutes. And then just turn around and perform to the other half of the room. Smart. Very smart. Spread the eyeliner around. So that'll be coming out soon.

Yeah, cool. Spot your eyes. Spot your eyes avoiding Carl. Me staring at my friends at the corner. Yeah, you can see the back of my head for about 48 minutes until I finally convinced Milan to get out of the way so I could go and get a beer.

Smart. Yeah. Great. Even that sounds upside down, trying to convince Milan to get a drink at a bar. Yeah, yeah. No, he had more,

he sort of was like, we can't get up, it's the middle of a special. I'm like, I don't give a fuck anymore. We're going to the bar. It's been two minutes. And mid-flight brawl.

Mid-flight brawl with Luke Heggie. Yes. A podcast about air rage incidents. It's been two minutes. And mid-flight brawl. Mid-flight brawl with Luke Heggie. Yes. A podcast about air rage incidents. Check that out. Yes. There'll be ground rage if you say I ever fly Jetstar again. Alex Ward, what do you got?

I got my podcast, The Naye Show. That was a funny one last week. I've gotten into sumo culture, so go listen to that. Oh, really? What's it called? No, I'm just eating too much rice. Wearing one of those nappies.

They look comfy. They look like a lot. They look so comfy. They look like pool noodles. Yeah. Looks like the comfiest out of all sporting attire, I reckon.

Yeah. Pretty good. All right. Do you reckon you could order the wrong size one of those? Yeah, I was going to say. I'd still have a belt

around one of those. God, the big nappy falling down as you're walking around? Yeah. Fuck, there's no coming back from that. Having a belt around a nappy is fucking rough. So that's called the Nay-Yay? Nay-Yay show. The what?

Nay-Yay. We say nay or yay to stuff. Oh, right. Nay-Yay. Yes, yes. I mean, I'm not really going to be selling tickets to this, but I'll be on Have You Been paying attention on Monday with one of the nominees of the Comedy Hall of Fame,

Sam Pang. Oh, well, yes, yes. So, I mean, wait, when does this episode come out? No, no, no, you're right. No, you're right. Well, you can plug in for the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. Oh, yes. All right.

Yeah, that'll be my intro story. Can we make it? I was on a podcast where they talked about one of the people on you. Can we make a little badge for you to wear on your... Like, just a tiny little badge for you to wear on an outfit on there? Is there some... Yeah, they're going to have to zoom right in. Yeah, yeah, but that's fine.

Yeah, it's like The Simpsons. You've got to pause to see. Yeah, exactly. Just a tiny little... Yeah, I won't move the whole episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a tiny... You know what?

If we get you to wear a little badge that just says, Vote for Austin. That's good. That's good. That's good. Why don't I get a pretend neck tattoo for the episode? Just don't let Chandler organise the sizing. It's a fucking massive billboard. That's an umbrella.

That's not a badge. One other thing is I'm going to do 30 minutes at the end of October So follow me on Instagram What do you know? What does that mean? You're going to do 30 minutes? I'm just doing like a fun trial A show

I haven't put up tickets yet So follow me on Instagram What do you know? What do you know? Right, there we go Just a bit A bit too showbiz I'm going to do 30 minutes

People out there I might do 31 You're going to do half a show I might do 29 You're going to do half a show I'm going to do some new stuff Right, okay I'm going to do 45 minutes at the gym might do 29. You're going to do half a show. I'm going to do some new stuff. Right, okay. Yeah, I'm going to be 45 minutes at the gym.

At a venue and time yet to be determined. The time is determined. End of October. Just not anything that matters. Sounds like someone's working pretty hard a bit early to get into the Hall of Fame 2023. It's all I've ever wanted. All right, guys. Thanks very much for listening.

And we'll see you next time. See you, guys. Thanks very much for listening. And we'll see you next time. See you, mates. And they've done it again. You've never spoken a truer thing. Tommy, that episode was great. Yeah. Best ever? Up there.

Yep. In the top 650 or so, that's for sure. Yep. We are recording this before we've recorded it, the normal episode. So, yeah, we don't know what happened. It's exciting, isn't it? You know more than us for once. It's exciting to treat the back part of the show as the warm-up to the show.

Yep. It's a bit memento, isn't it? It's a bit... I wish Wardy and Cody would come in here and give us some clues as to what happened. Have some tattoos. Should we text them now and be like, what are you planning on talking about? Who shouldn't I trust in the back end of the show? We need to talk about what's just happened, but we don't know what's just happened.

Yeah, yeah. Fuck, I could go Memento re-watch. It's been a little while since I sat down and took in Memento. That is a good question. What is something that you are overdue to have a look at, movie-wise? I'll tell you what. I came back from a gig in Brisbane the other night, got into the hotel. Hotel had a few channels of Foxtel, including the movie channels.

Got into bed about midnight, just chuck the TV on, see if there's just anything kind of worth watching for half an hour. Jackass won. Oh. Just starting. Caught the very beginning of it, and I was like, well, now I'm obviously watching all of this. Yeah.

Well, that's a very good context of watching it. Yeah. Because I've had a crack at it in the last couple of weeks and went, I can't do this. I'm not in the zone. I'm not in the right position. Lasting at night, no one else in the room. No one else in your hotel room. You've already done something for the day.

Away from home, in bed. I mean, I will say it then fucked me for the next day where I had to get up and get a flight. I was just feeling rubbish all day. But then I was like, oh, I'm such a fucking idiot. And then I just came back to how much I was enjoying watching Dave shitting in a hardware store toilet at quarter to one in the morning.

And I went, no, you know what? Absolutely worth it. And I'd do it again. To go back to the very first one was kind of great too. Right. Yeah. They all look so young. Yeah.

I just can't find the right time to do that sort of thing at home at the moment, but I would like to. Specifically watching Jackass? Yes. Yeah, it's a tough one. Yeah. It's a tough one to justify, just sitting around where I'm like,

I've got work to do. Yeah. Nah, that can wait. I can watch Jackass. It's also... Yeah, it's a tough one for the fellas, isn't it? Because you're in a rare position if the miso is into it as well.

Yeah. Those kinds of relationships are few and far between. So it truly like most other things like a memento rewatch i could get that over the line with my girlfriend pretty easily that could happen in the next week if i really wanted to yeah but yeah a jackass session it's like you know what i'm gonna try it playing you're in a hotel i'm gonna try it tonight i'm gonna go home and say don't say your name she she likes watching something in bed every night right yeah so and mainly she's got the headphones in because it's something i don't want to watch yep um i'm gonna say let's watch something together jackass i reckon i reckon she'll say

yes just to go okay you finally pick something that we can watch together yeah okay interesting because i did i say this on this show or somewhere else? But when I went and saw the most recent one, it kind of annoyed me because bits of it, I'm like, I could get this over the line with my girlfriend. She would enjoy this. And then the next one is like a man literally eating a shit. Okay. So in Jackass 1, there's the bit where they're in the bushes

at the golf course and they've got the air horn that they're putting off just as people are taking their swing. Everyone can enjoy that. That's, that's, you could show that to a girlfriend as like an entry, as like an entree into. That's a bit of Just for Laughs. Exactly. On a, on a ferry. Yep.

Yeah. So someone, I would love for someone to make like a girlfriend edit of the Jackass movies. Oh yeah. Where all the scatological stuff is taken out, all the truly gross out shit. And it's just like the kind of silly pranks are just in there. Like a video store porno. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally.

You don't see it go in. Yep, yep. Yep. Have you ever seen those where it's like they shoot a porno, but they shoot it twice? They shoot it like they've got one guy that's like, I'm for the bit where it goes in. And then another camera is like, yeah, just don't show any dick or pussy. Yeah, right. No, I didn't know that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like video store versions of. One guy with the don't do the rude bits and one guy. Yeah, yeah. That's all we want. We want holes stuffed. I want, this is, I mean, if I had more time, this would be my project. This would be my full-time project.

Like those people that recut The Phantom Menace to make it not shit my girlfriend edits of the Jackass movies where it's just the boys having fun

in the most recent one where they've got the quiz show where they get fucking hit in the nuts if they get the answers wrong and one of the questions is who plays the piano

on Elton John's album Madman Across the Water and one of them does it, he can't get it. He's like, that's just good shit. Spoilers. That is good shit that everyone can enjoy. Is that out on any platforms yet? It's still in the ether, is it?

No, I reckon it'll be on something by now. Maybe Paramount. Maybe it's up on Paramount because it came out ages ago. There's the 0.5 version on Netflix. What's that about? They've done that for all of them. Just like deleted scenes. But here's what I reckon.

I reckon the recent 4.5, I reckon better than actual 4. Is it? I reckon there's better stuff in it. There's stuff in it that's so good that should have been in. I watched it in Brisbane with james the day it came out and there was one bit that i was crying at at 4.5 yeah okay all right well maybe i'll maybe maybe that'll be my wife's introduction to the jackass universe i think it's a good entry point because it does a lot more in jackass

forever they have all these new people in it, but they don't really contextualise them that much in the actual film. Right. But in the point five, they do a lot more background on all of them. And they also have a bit of stuff where they talk about how COVID kind of happened as they'd started filming it. And then they come back and they've got a whole bunch of stunts that they're doing that are very like COVID based.

So it's actually kind of like a... Just being hit in the nuts from 30 meters away by people. Oh man, there's one COVID thing that is so fucking funny. Oh my God, I'm losing my fucking mind. I just got on Netflix and in the search thing, I went to look for jackass, but I didn't write in jackass, I wrote in... Jack? Netflix.

And what comes up out of it? What's the first thing that comes up? Literally everything. There's no filter. That's crazy that someone in there hasn't put that in like the SEO or whatever. It's like now, assuming that people are brain dead and they put this in, what's something that we want to shuffle up the top of the queue? What do we consider to be the default viewing on Netflix?

So Netflix has got Jackass the movie then Jackass 2.5 3.5 and 4.5 but they don't have 2, 3 and 4. No. I think I'm pretty sure

they're all on Stan. That's a weird thing to get the rights for the bloopers but not for the real deal. Yeah. I'm trying to think because we did then

we went back and watched a couple of the old ones in Brisbane me and Cam James and I'm pretty sure we'll find them all on Stan. But I think that also, that may have been before Paramount Plus kicked off. Okay.

Which I would assume a lot of it is on there because it's Viacom. Jackass the movie's on Stan. This drives you crazy, doesn't it? When like... Two and three are on Stan as well. Okay. Hang on. So is Jackass the movie on both Netflix and Stan?

Yeah, there's a few things. Is that possible? Yeah, there's a few things that are on both. Are you allowed to do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, that brings me back to country Victoria when we were just in the middle of Channel 6 and Channel 8 and they would have shared shows, but the thing that would drive you crazy was. So you get the best of Bendia and the best of Ballarat.

Wow. Yeah. Smorgasbord. Smorgasbord. Yes, but they'd be the same shows on at the same time most of the time. Okay. They were sharing the same fucking thing. the same time most of the time. Okay. They were sharing the same fucking thing. Simulcast.

Jesus Christ. Yeah. Like a fire benefit. Yeah. Across all the networks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like Live Aid, San Francisco and London. Yeah.

Yeah, they've got Jackass the Movie. Well, that's how good of a movie it is. It's on all platforms. It's too good to share. It's too good not to share. Yeah. The population, everyone on Earth has to have access

to Jackass the movie on some platform. It's like Greensleeves. Yeah. You can watch it on a Texas Instruments calculator if that's all you've got access to. There's a version of it that's on there. But yeah, I had an absolutely wonderful time sitting in a hotel bed, air con cranked up

just watching Jackass until 1.30 in the morning just an absurd thing to watch the end of and be like okay Nine Eyes now after I watched Steve-O getting a tattoo in a little jeep in the desert Do you know what I heard a story

I think you'll like this I heard a story on the weekend that, remember where, like it was never made official, but remember, I'm only bringing this up because when you look up Jackass, it then brings up all these other movies that, they've got a pretty fair idea of what you're into if you're looking for Jackass. All of a sudden, it's like Beavis and Butthead, scary movie, Austin Powers. Austin Towers. A second Austin Powers, Austin Towers, a second plane has hit Austin Towers,

House O's, Fat Pizza, and then it's got a bit of Ali G and stuff like that. It is a bit, you know, when someone goes like, oh, you'll like this, and you sort of go, fuck off, you don't know me, I'm a complex character, I'm a beautiful snowflake, and then you read something like that, and it's like,

spot on. I'm interested in literally all of these. in literally all that job for a reason yeah i've watched some of america quite recently yeah i could watch that road trip yes i watched the new beavers and butthead movie the day it came out because i was that excited for it what's it like it's really funny it's great yeah have you seen the first one no oh man they, man. They're both great. They're both great movies. Right. So remember when... I don't know whether we talked about this on a bonus or in Talking Dumb Dumb or whatever it was, but there was a point where...

And I don't think we're telling tales out of school because it was in the Daily Mail, all that sort of stuff. But Sacha Baron Cohen was in Australia during lockdown-ish. Oh, yeah. We talked about this quite recently. Yeah. Yeah. And see, he was here and it never came out publicly or anything there was some weird reason that no one's officially

got to the bottom of about how he was here and he was working on something maybe yeah and he was doing sort of live performance but it was all very hush hush and there was people signing you know clearances not to talk about it and stuff like that but we weren't there we didn't fucking sign jack shit so we can say whatever the fuck we want. Yeah. But he was like performing as these famous characters and stuff. Yeah. Like these private little, I don't want to say private, like at comedy clubs, but they

weren't billed. Popping up at gigs, like popping up at like the comedy store in Sydney. Yeah. Just on their Saturday night lineup show. Yeah. Eight people on or whatever. Yeah. And all of a sudden,

please welcome to the stage Ali G. Yes. Now, at a point when he's never done any kind of live performance thing before. Yes. And you have to imagine that there would be people in the audience going like, oh, this is just some low-rent cunt doing an Ali G bit. Well, that is what I was about to say. So apparently that is exactly what was happening

because there's no word put out there. Yeah. That's what was going on. So Ali G get out there and there were people just going, oh yeah, cool. Some fucking cunt doing Ali G. So there had to be a change in the routine where at some stage they had to go, hey, everyone, look at the start of the show. Hey, everyone. It's him.

This is for real. This is him. This is not a bit. Yeah. Yeah. This is actually like they got too secret. This is not a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is actually, like, they got too secret. You know, they buried it too far. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that does make sense.

Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, you come in as Ali G, it's like, that could be fucking anyone. Like, you know, we looked at this for the 500, 600 show, where we were looking at local Ali G impersonators, just because it would be, or local Borat impersonators. We wanted to go. There are quite a few. Yeah, yeah. We wanted, I. Of which there are quite a few. Yeah, yeah. We wanted, I think I talked about it on the show.

I emailed a guy and he was like, sorry, my Borat is busy that day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the manager or whatever. Yeah. But we thought it would be the funniest bit to go like, guys, you know, here at the Athenaeum, 500th episode, Momentus occasion,

we've managed to land an incredibly big fish for this gig. Yeah. Please welcome Borat. And then he comes out in the mankini, and we just interview him as if we think he's actually Borat. It would have been great. What a shame. Maybe we could see if he wants to be inducted into the Auscomedy Hall of Fame.

Please. He's married to an Australian. Please. But no, you're right. I mean, something like that where he is a comedy character but most audience members would know he's not done any live performance ever.

So it's like the equivalent of being at a comedy gig. It's not like hearing please welcome Chris Rock and you go, oh fuck, the famous stand-up comedian. And also a bit of context where you know Chris Rock's in town

because of his doing some big thing or something. It's literally like someone going, please welcome John Howard. You'd be like, well, I know he doesn't do gigs so the odds are good

that this is a, and hey, it might be the real guy but you would absolutely be forgiven for going, no, this is a stunt. This is not the real Batman.

That's someone else. Please welcome to the Sydney Comedy Store stage, Batman. Just people going, that could be anyone under there. That's not the real Batman. No, that's not actually Bruce Wayne. Batman's in America. No way. I would have heard about it If he was down under

That's a funny bit though Because there is a club in In New York City Called the Gotham Comedy Club Oh yeah Please welcome Batman Yeah yeah And he's

No before he comes on He's opener Robin Yep Not too bad Not too And you're like Fuck Robin's

Robin's dropped in Yeah So like maybe You know maybe Like often when the opener Is doing a spot somewhere Yeah That means the headlines too bad not too and you're like fuck robin's robin's dropped in yeah so like maybe you know maybe like often when the opener is doing a spot somewhere yeah that means the headline oh yeah yeah yeah yeah he's brought batman along with it he's like the what's his name kramer to pablo francisco yeah yeah yeah yeah all right well that's that's good whatever we talked about that's good because i've got a bit in uh in the Joker film, the most recent one. Your favourite

film? I did actually really like it with what's his name? Joaquin Phoenix. He does stand up in that. And then they did a couple of years after that, they did a new Batman with Robert Pattinson. It's like missed opportunity. Have Batman doing stand up. We've seen the Joker doing stand up. Why don't we get to see

fucking Batman doing stand up? Why don't they make the whole stand up out of Batman? Why don't we get to see fucking Batman doing stand-up? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't they make the whole stand-up out of Batman? Why don't they make the whole plane out of the black box? Well, let's get into

the meat. Let's get into the meat of this back end of talking dumb-dumb. Of course, thank you to everyone that subscribes to our Patreon

in case you don't know what that means. You go to patreon.com slash little dumb-dumb club or you click through the links on our website, littledumbdumbclub.com, and you'll find that there is a way to support this show in a way that you support local business. People during the pandemic support local business, but you weren't just giving them 50 bucks and going, good luck, everyone. Keep the fucking power on. You were getting hamburgers and pizzas and shit like that.

That's what you're doing here. You're getting bonus episodes while supporting the show, but you are being supported back in your little ear holes. Exactly. With some beautiful, beautiful content in which we, you know, the talking, not talking dumb, but the bonus episodes, man, we really put a lot of time into planning out them. And they're all very... People that listen, you'll know, they're a bit different to this. This is

all a bit loose and whatever. We take quite a while to write out everything. They're little radio plays. Yeah, exactly. They're better than the BBC. We're BBC 69. That's like our station. The ones that are coming out now are ones that we recorded the vocals of in February and they've just been in post.

Off at a sound effects... Off at the Skywalker Ranch having all the like, all the bells and whistles put in. Yes. For a 15 minute mini episode that you get on Mondays and Fridays. And the previous ones just got tested with an audience. Oh, we did focus groups. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Some of the jokes have been taken out because people found them too funny. Yeah. So we're just trying to get them right. And if you subscribe, you can get all the back catalogue. You're not just getting this week's one. You can get all the ones that we've done in the past, which is hundreds of episodes. Yeah, there's like 200 and something. Yeah, there's heaps of them.

So you can do that. You can do it any way you want. You can just be like a selfish little cunt and just want that content for yourself or you can do it the other way and you can just give us money and feel good and chuck away the bonus. Never listen to a bonus in your life. Or a bit of both.

A bit of both. You can feel good about supporting this and just be like, well, you know what? I didn't want anything back for my investment but since it's here, I may as well dabble. I'm not hurting anyone.

You can give us some money, get the content, go, you know what? Other poor urchins need that more than me. And drop the bonus episodes down at the Salvos or something. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in the bin. Put it in the bin.

Put a USB in the bin. Let's see if we can get that happening. I would love that. Someone try and put a USB stick in it. Going and buying a second-hand USB stick. I would love that. Just like a little bowl in a salvo somewhere. We know at least one listener that works in a salvo out there.

But the idea that you're donating a USB because you're like, this is just taking up room. I don't need it anymore. When really, I buy USBs all the time because I fucking lose the other ones. It's not that I'm donating them. Yeah. They just fucking, they end up, God knows where. I've left them at an office works or in a hotel room.

If you either work at a Salvos at a, what do you call them, at a charity store? Yeah, a thrift shop. Thrift shop. If you ever either work there or even just donate one, but you have to clearly mark it as like, it's not just USB. It's our content on it. So if someone buys it out of a Salvos. Get a big USB that you could fit the entire catalogue of Patreon episodes on. Leave it at a Salvos.

If someone's entry to this podcast was the bonus episodes, then they're like, okay, I'm going to listen to the main thing for free now. And then I'm going to also donate, most importantly, so that I get the 15. You know, the hour-long versions, not for me. The 15-minute version, that's what I like. I would love that for people to get into the show off the back of that. Just like when we did the whole thing of getting listeners to draw ads, write ads on the back of toilet walls and in rest stops and stuff like that or wherever. That was excellent.

And we did have people that said they got into the show via that, which I really found hard to believe, but I want to believe, so I'll believe it. Yeah, I'm trying to think what I would see in a toilet that would make me go, okay, I'm going to follow up on this. Apart from the obvious. Yeah. Yeah.

All right, let's kick off off Thank you to Patreon subscriber First cap off the rank this week Thank you too Lucy Dayman Lucy Dayman Yeah any thoughts? I know this person Do you really?

I do yeah You do not I do You know Lucy Dayman I literally was messaging her right before you got here. You do not. I do. Why would I make this up?

I don't know. That's why I'm asking. How could you? I would not. I know it sounds too good to be true. I know. Lucy Dayman doesn't sound like someone you would know. I mean, she barely sounds like someone that exists.

All right. All right. I'm looking her up. Yeah. Go for your life, mate. Fuck. One mutual friend, Tommy Daslow. There you go. Shit right. All right. I'm looking her up. Yeah. Go for your life, mate. Fuck. One mutual friend, Tommy Daslow. There you go.

Shit. Yes, mate. God damn it. What would you like to know about AMA about Lucy Day? All right. All right. All right. Okay.

Here's my first question. I've just clicked on the one picture I'm allowed to click on. Yep. What city is she in just there? Well, that's... I don't know if that's her that doesn't look like her oh she got one picture of her okay that's weird all right she's got a website lucidaman.com yep okay all right what's on there let's have a look same picture she's a oh i think no it's not uh she is an australian born

currently japan-based journalist absolutely copywriter editor that's why you know her yeah i met her in japan uh she's friends of friends uh from here and yeah hung out with her when me and some friends went to japan and she's actually back in town at the moment. And I was messaging her before you got here, trying to tee up, catching up with her. Oh, well, on her little bio, a very brief intro, she puts it on her website. It says, here's all the things I can help you with. Social media management, producing native content, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then a little banger down the bottom.

And hooking you up with killer podcast recommendations. Uh-oh. Well, we better get a fucking go here. Uh-oh, there we go. All right. Sounds to me like a USB of Patreon episode that's being taken down to Salvo-san in the middle of Tokyo. Well, it says here, and then directly beneath that it says, I'm always looking out for new opportunities and potential collaborations,

so please get in touch anytime. Click. I'll click on that. Please, please let me know some killer podcast recommendations. I have to assume she's listening to this and absolutely hating every second of it. I think I mentioned this a while ago, but she hit me up because she was doing some part-time English teaching over there. And most of her students were like kind of older Japanese men.

And it was around the time that I had my invented game show on here of Guess the Weather. Oh, yeah. And she was like, I've been playing Guess the Weather in my English classes. Okay. I've been playing Guess the Weather in my English classes. It's making you use all these different words in a way that there was just something about that game that was very conducive to the kind of classes that she was doing. So a dumb little game that I invented being played in an English class over in Japan. Your dream. My dream.

Just some little words you came up with coming out of Japanese mouths. Absolutely. Wow. Yeah. That's pretty nice. And so did Lucy... I could move over there and host the Japanese version of Guess the Weather. Oh, wow.

Finally, you become a diverse option on TV. But if it's a game show in Japan, there then has to be another element where it's like you get hit in the nuts, jackass style. You know, they love their like prank game shows. It's not enough to just be like getting the question right or wrong. You know, you're junking a mousetrap while you're guessing what temperature it is in Hokkaido. Whatever, you get 28 degrees like printed out in big fucking block

and just chucked into your nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something of that nature. Maybe I can go over there for some pitch meetings. Lucy can help me get this up. 32 degrees is like the 32 is formed out of like scorpion shit and you have to eat it. Yeah, yeah.

Coming up tonight after Dragon Ball Z, Dasolo-san presents Guess the Winner. That would be good. And then just some bitter old Japanese comedians going, oh, it's just a diversity hire. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they've just got him because he's Australian and he sounds like a girl that's like...

Oh, yeah, Japanese TV's gone all woke. That would be good. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah, that'd all woke. That would be good. That would be fucking awesome. Yeah, that'd be great. That's the dream. Yeah. Well, yeah. Thanks, Lucy.

Thanks, Lucy. I'd like to know why the only picture you have on Facebook is a picture of someone else. I'm pretty sure that's not her. Yeah. It doesn't look anything like her. Right. But, you know, could be. I could be wrong.

Let me know. Yeah. And also, let me know about getting a beer while you're in town. Yeah, yeah. And let me know about some killer podcast recommendations because I did send you a message just then asking for it. What, you on Facebook? No, no, no.

Or you emailed her through a website? On the website. You can click on the website. It says please get in touch anytime. Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah, sure. This is anytime. Yeah, this is a time.

What is this? 20 past... Three? 25 past three on a Tuesday afternoon. Great time. Hey, that's anytime. That's a great time

to get a message. That's a time. That's one of the better times to get an email. What a combo for her. Gets a text from me saying like, hey, you're going to be in the city on Friday.

Do you want to get a drink? And then like half an hour later, an email from Carl Chandler or from admin at Oz Comedy Hall of Fame. Do you have any podcast recommendations? She's got the killer podcast recommendations. Can we make Lucy Dayman a judge in the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame? Someone who hasn't lived in the country for like seven years.

Yeah, why not? Yeah, sure. Maybe, well, I mean, this could be the start of like, you know, I would love the podcast to get bigger in Japan. I know we have like one or two random listeners there. Lucy listens, but she almost, no offence, Lucy, but I don't feel like she counts because she's an expat. You know, we want like true blue.

And then we move on. We want some true blue. And then we move on. We want some true blue Japanese listeners. Some true Japanese people. So then you and I go over there and the dream is that the Oz Comedy Hall of Fame goes so well that we just take it upon ourselves to go over and do... The Oz Comedy Hall of Fame roadshow. No, I mean we just turn up and we go, here's the Japan Comedy Hall of Fame. We're there for like a day before the ceremony.

Right, right, right. We go to one gig. Yeah. We watch some stuff on TV. We can't understand what it is. We're over there like trying to convince people why it's funny to have Ostentatious as a nominee in the Japanese Comedy Hall of Fame. It's like we're asking Lucy to translate for us like going into like a 7-Eleven and asking

people, who's the Japanese equivalent of Dickie Nees? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have any of Dickie Nee? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have any puppets over here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's weird because it's like Dickie Nee for us is funny, but over there it's probably like their most serious comedian. Probably, yeah. This year in the Japan Comedy Hall of Fame, we're putting in the pig from Dragon Ball. Yeah, yeah.

We're putting in, there'd be a funny Pokemon, the Pokemon that looks like a set of car keys. Yeah. They're just all cartoon characters. But that's kind of what we're doing here. Who's that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anything about it. I don't know anything about it.

I wonder if she listens to any Japanese. What's Japanese podcasting like, I wonder? See, this is what I'm interested in. This is what I want to know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I never got to the bottom of what Thai podcasting was like really so

yeah I'd be interested anyway alright thanks Lucy Dayman thanks Lucy um came to uh celebrated my birthday

with me when I was over there oh came to Disney World with us she might be uh she goes for a drink with you she might be a bit more a Lucy and

a a night man cause it'll be at uh at at night. Yep. That's what I'm sure she's gotten off the back of her name growing up in rural Australia. More like Lucy and Nightwoman.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All good stuff. All very, very good stuff. There's your money paid back and more on top. That means we're getting some sweet yen coming to you. Oh, yes. That's good. All right.

Thanks, Lucy. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber. Let's see if you know this fucking person. Thank you very much to Paula Lange. Lange. L-A-N-G-E. I want to say Lange. Lange. Lange. Lange. Yeah, Lange L-A-N-G-E I want to say Lange Lange

Lange Lange Pauline Paula Paula Lange Paula Lange you know Paula Lange don't know Paula Lange

well your run's come to an end I'd love to say I met her through a mutual friend when I was in Korea but never been to Korea filming MASH would like to

filming MASH when you were over there playing Hawkeye for 12 years. That's it. But you didn't do that. I fucking didn't do that. Well, Paul up. Thanks very much for subscribing. Maybe we can help you meet Tommy if you want to choose a country

and Tommy can meet you there. We'll rendezvous. Yeah. Let's try and make this happen so you get to know personally all the people in this. In this week's one. In this week's one. Do we have any indication if you look this person up where in the world they're based? Because, I mean, you know, not to sound lazy, but I'd love at least one of these to be in Melbourne.

So he or she can come and meet you on Friday night with Lucy. Oh, if we could get them all together in the one pub, that would be great. I mean, look, okay, Lucy, that's one done. That's one off the list. So that's one out of five that I've already met. Yeah. You know, I'm prepared for there to be a bit of travel involved

in some of the others of these. But, yeah, look, I'll travel for three of them, but, God, I'd love at least one to be based in Melbourne. It would be good. Or at the very least, yeah, a couple more that are just in Australia. One international trip for them would be good. Not only do I...

Oh, you know what? I've got a feeling. What have we got? I've got a feeling this is a Tasmanian. That's doable. A Tasmanian listener. Okay, that's doable. Yep.

No picture. Just a picture of a dog. Just not helping. Very Tasmanian. To just have a picture of the dog. Yeah. Is it? Yeah, I think she's Tasmanian.

Okay. All right, that's good. That's easy for me. Been to Tassie twice already this year. My girlfriend loves it down there. She's got a good friend that lives down there. Always plenty of excuses to go to Tassie. So, yeah, just next time we're down there, I could just be...

I'm just going to have to duck off. Just got to do something. What could you possibly have to do in a city where you know no one? I'm just going to meet... I just said on the pod that I would go and meet all the Patreon listeners of one specific week. And I got a gimme with Lucy. That was an easy one

to just cross off the list. But yeah, now I've got to go and meet Paula Lange in Tasmania just to collect, not collect the set because there's only two of them so far.

But yeah, so. All right. This is all right. This is pretty. The Voltron of Patreon subscribers. On this specific week. Yeah. On October the 5th or whatever it is.

Yeah. Or is this more of a Pokemon style set? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you've got to collect them all. Sure. Yeah. Okay. This is your new Pokemon Go.

Pokemon Patreon Go. Well, so far this is easy. This is an easy. Go. Pokemon Patreon Go. Well, so far, this is easy. This is an easy... Patreon Go. Patreon Go. This is so far an easy task for me. Easy. Well, so far.

Okay. One I already know. The other one, a 45-minute flight away. Yeah. Very little investment from me so far in what I'm having to do. Okay, great. But that all might change. In the next three, that all might change.

Oh, I mean, look look you're saying tasmania is easy yeah okay well i mean you know if i hadn't met if for some reason i hadn't i didn't know lucy and for some reason we still ended up coming up with this scheme when it was just a stranger and one of them is like all right i'm gonna have to go to another country i'm gonna have to go to japan now i love japan so that's not going to be a chore for me. Yep. But it still is the investment financially and time-wise of having to fly 10 hours to another country. Just for this. Not ideal.

Yep. Just for a cockamamie stunt. Yeah, okay, that's fair. Well, it's going to be a little bit harder because, look, you know what Lucy Day Man looks like, but Paula... Also, I'm not even allowed to tee this up. I'm just having to go to Tad's and just like walk around yelling out

Paula going into every pub is there a is there a Paula Lange in here and they're like no but there is a Paula Lange

so it's even it's tricky and then having to go up I'm sorry to bother you you must hear this all the time it is it does seem a bit

a beautiful lady such as yourself it is a bit tricky this week because in the two that we found, the two subscribers so far, and I've looked them up

on Facebook, neither of them are showing their face on Facebook. So this could be a whole new Channel 10 show. Just you trying to find Patreon subscribers

and having no clue as to what they look like. Also, Channel 10 headhunts me from hosting Dasolo Sun Presents Guess the Weather in Japan. Yes. And they're like, you know what? They spend all this money to get me back into the country.

Yeah. There's a bidding war between whatever the big TV station is in Japan and Channel 10. Yeah. Channel 10, son, over there. To get me back. Well, that'll be good. Well, get hiding, Paula.

Yeah. For the debut of... You'll be episode two. Episode one will be very short when you just go down the pub and wait for Lucy to meet you and you go, I did it!

Yeah, well, that's us catching up. Just hanging out. Yeah. Well, thanks. Thanks, Paula. I hope your name's... We've pronounced your name correctly. I hope that you came to the last time we did a show in Tasmania.

And you know what? Maybe I should look that up right now. I'm going to look it up right now. I wouldn't stress about it. That's the only thing I want to know now. All right. Here we go. All right.

So we've got one person I already know, one person in Tasmania, pretty easy stuff so far. But still, you know, I'm hoping for this third one to be a Melbourne-based. She didn't come. Okay, wow. She didn't come. Damn. Well, Kirk, oh, fuck, that actually is annoying

because then would you let me claim that as having already met her? Yeah, I could have. Yeah, we were in the same room. Yeah. We had a conversation in the sense that I said something and she laughed. That's a back and forth transaction. What a commitment. I mean, we're talking about we're going to go and hunt her down.

We never know her. We've never listened to her. She listens to us. She's a fan. Yeah. And she can't be coming to see us when we were down there. Well, maybe she knew when we were advertising the show

she was like, the odds are pretty good that one of these guys is going to come down here and just try and find me anyway. And then I'll get my own kind of like little personalised show.

Yep. Yep. I mean, it almost seems too obvious when you think about it like that. Alright, well thanks Paula and I guess Tommy will see you soon.

See you soon Paula. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ken McClure. Ken McClure. Alright, Paula. And I guess, Tommy, we'll see you soon. See you soon, Paula. Thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Ken McClure. Ken McClure. All right. Now. Do you know this person? I don't know this person.

No. Well, that might not be his maiden name. Maybe you do know him. Oh, yeah. Okay. But he's one of those. I don't think I know any Kens at all. Well, maybe that's his first name.

It's not his maiden name either, maybe. Who knows? Are there any Kens in comedy? Ooh. Well, there's the great Kenny. From South Park? No, from The Toilet Show. The Toilet Man?

Yeah. Kenny the Toilet Man. No, that's not really... Doesn't count. That's not a thing. Doesn't count. That would be a good one at the comedy store. Please welcome Kenny.

Yeah. Yeah, that would be good. Yeah at the comedy store please welcome kenny yeah yeah that would be good yeah but again more believable than still more i think people still would be like well this is this is actually the guy that does kenny people would be able to get their heads around that more than the concept of this is actually borat and and also who gives a fuck either way yes no totally yeah um who would bother yeah to pretend to be Kenny except for Shane Jacobson? Yeah. And even then. He can't even really be fucked anyway.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who could be fucked? Just being him. Ken, is there a stand-up comedian? Is that what you mean? Or just in comedy? Stand-up comedian? Anyone that we know, not in this country.

Do you even know anyone at all called Kent? I don't. That's what led me to that hypothesis. Yeah, I don't think I know anyone either. I know a Kent. Oh, yeah. Getting close. Yeah.

Not quite, though. It can be a nickname. He could go as Kent if he really wanted to. That's a good abbreviation. That's a good abbreviation. Yep, yep. So if you go Kent, you can be Kenny. If you're Kent, can you be Kenty?

Kenty. Kenty. Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you would want to. No. Kent's a cool name. I like it. Hiya.

Yeah, man. I'm a little bit... I don't know whether I feel frustrated or what but I don't know any Kens It sort of sounds like a pretty Australian name too like it's weird to not have met even a single one but you gotta stop

stalling here and you gotta let me know where the fuck in the world am I having to go to meet Ken McClure Well I think It's bad news isn't it

I think you're up for a bit of a trek Okay here we go. I mean, if this is the guy, I don't know if this is the guy or not, but if this is the guy, Tommy Dassler, you are headed to... Auburndale, Florida! That's all right. I don't hate that at all.

I can tack on a little Disney World. Where in the world is Tommy Dassler? Oh, fuck. And is this... So I like the idea that this is like... Okay, now this is the show. Fuck, this is a shame that this isn't on the main episode. Right.

This is the show. I go and meet the first person. They're then coming with me. Right. So everyone that I collect... Oh, you collect them? Everyone that I collect. And so it's like each episode...

You know, let's say the show... By the time the show is in like season 6 every one of these trips I'm taking it's now like 45 people are coming like I'm chartering

a plane and it's just all me and like you know that then creates this weird dynamic where like you know Lucy's seen it all

she was like the first episode you know she's been on all of these trips with me at this point she was just going for a drink on a friday night and all of a sudden she's fucking gallivanting around the world stupid idea yeah but then there's people on the plane there'd be like a hierarchy because there's people that i've only picked up last episode

right right so they're like they're down the bottom of the pecking order you know lucy's bullying her as like the queen bee right you know it's like oh yeah you would she owns this you wouldn't know this. Yeah, yeah. But what Tommy likes to do on these flights is to, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and even Paul is getting into it. Oh, you know when in Tasmania when...

Oh, sorry, Ken. Sorry, sorry. You wouldn't understand. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, only me and Lucy were there for that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Ken's the latest one to get bullied. So, yeah, we're... You know, so it's, yeah, it's me,

it's me, Lucy and Paul are flying over to Florida and then the three of us hit in Disney World after. It's a little celebration. All of a sudden the Fab Four are hitting the teacup ride. Absolutely. Yeah. Maybe he works there. Maybe he's dressing up as Goofy.

Well, I don't think so. I believe, I mean, he, I believe he's a body shop manager at Jarrett Gordon Ford. Okay. That's not too bad. I don't know. Maybe he could do us a good deal on a car.

Like if the next person was in America as well, then, you know, he can get us a cheap Ford and then we can go road tripping to find the next person on this list. It is working out perfectly

where this is genuinely good show where you have to find five people. The first person is just down the road at the pub and you go, person on this list. It is working out perfectly where this is genuinely good show where you have to find five people. The first person is just down the road at the pub and you go this is almost too easy

and then it's like now you're flying to Tasmania and you go okay this is interesting. Like I said there's always a lot of reasons to go to Tasmania. And then boom

fucking and then you're down at the Devonport airport going is there any you know sort of like small planes that go to Florida from here?

Oh, I'm just turning up. I'm just like, I haven't even like booked online. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What have you got? Yeah. What have you got to... Have you got three seats in a light aircraft to Florida? Yeah, or just anywhere nearby.

Yeah. That's now, that is good for the show. I have to get, I have to go straight from the place I was just at. Right, right. Or as like, so it can only be, like, one flight. There's no, yeah, yeah. There is an international airport, isn't there? You can fly overseas from Tasmania, can't you?

Fuck, that's a good question. I think so. Yeah. I think you would be able to. Yeah. I mean, most of the major cities' airports in, but I wonder if there is anything, like, truly direct. Like, there'd be probably an international

bit where you go through all the bullshit but you still are stopping off via melbourne yeah but you've just done it all in the other report i don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah well we still we find a way in this show well this is all great chat hoping that ken mcclaw does this is the right ken mcclaw and i hope it is him yeah um if this is does, this is the right Ken McClure. And I hope it is him. Yeah. If this is you, if this is you, Ken, that studied at Polk State College, let us know. Because otherwise, Tommy's going in the wrong direction.

It's perfect for the show. Yeah. Like, it's perfect. Like, the escalation from Tassie to the US. I really want this to be real. But then now it's... This is a great show if you then fly from Devonport to Florida, and you go, Ken McClure, he's like, yes, he goes. And then you go, it's me.

I've come to collect all the friends that subscribe to the Patreon in the one week. And he's like, what? Okay. Okay, even if I am the right guy, this makes little to no sense. Yep. But then you find out he is the wrong person. And then I'm back in Australia going, oh yeah, sorry Tommy, there's two Ken McLewis

and I overlooked the one who lives in Richmond. Oh, you're back here in the control room. So you're running all this from the home base. I should have clicked on the Richmond guy that had the beard, that was bald, that had the big beard. So you're like NASA HQ. I've just got an earpiece into you at all times. Yeah, yeah.

You're in a room with like a radar and like a fucking satellite monitor. Why would I have thought it was the guy in the beard in Richmond? Sorry. I just automatically thought Florida. It just seemed too good to be true. Yeah, yeah. And I wanted you to get some sun and have a good time.

Yeah. Makes the show better. Makes the show better. I mean, well, okay. The stakes from here now, it's going to be now that we're... I'm really inside the head of the show now. I'm really like, where do we go from Florida? I mean, we're having fun.

We're fucking around on the comedy podcast. But like, no joke, legitimately, this is a great show concept. Like, who wouldn't... What is it? It's kind of like part Amazing Race. It's like part that show that Dave Gorman did where he tried to meet every other Dave Gorman in the world. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like part that like that show that Dave Gorman did where he tried to meet every other Dave Gorman

in the world oh yeah yeah yeah it's kind of shades of that part This Is Your Life part um Jackass This Is Your Life

yeah this is your Patreon yeah yeah so I'm at the airport no and I'm hearing just an audio recording of the person talking

now Tommy I put in five dollars a month as of last October yeah yeah yeah So I'm at the airport and I'm hearing just an audio recording of the person talking. Now, Tommy, I put in $5 a month as of last October. It's got to be Ken McClure. Yeah, yeah. No, it's more this is your life on you and it's not telling you anything about your past life. It's like, this is your current life. Pretty fucking dumb, isn't it? Yeah, this is your bank balance. Yeah, you have to fly to Florida to meet Ken McClure.

This is your life. Yep. Good one. Yep. Yep. Well, thanks, Ken. And hopefully, Tommy, we'll see you soon. Well, okay, so now, I know I did say I wanted an easy one in Melbourne,

but you know what? Now that we're on foreign soil, I've gone the other way. Yep. It would be very disappointing to fly to Florida and then just go back to Melbourne. So now that we're, yeah, now that we've gone the other way. It would be very disappointing to fly to Florida and then just go back to Melbourne. So now that we're, yeah, now that we've gone international. If this was the show, if you're producing this show, where do you want to go next?

I'm going to tell Cody and Wardy to not bother and we just put this up as the ep. We've got 15 minutes till they're here. This is great. This is better than anything I've got to talk about in the episode, honestly. So where would you, if you're producing a show, where do you want to go next? Where would you want me to go next? Where do you want to go next?

Well, look, you know, I've gone to, I'm thinking like I've gone to, I've gone to America. You know, that's like an easy one. You know, Florida's nice. I'm doing a bit of time on the beach and all of that. I'm thinking now you want me to go to like somewhere where I'm like a real fish out of water. Right. You know?

Yeah. You want me to go to like Kenya or you want me to go to like, you know, like Antarctica. You know, you're really wanting somewhere that's like I'm, you know, it's not just going to be an easy like I waltz in and just kind of, you know, know what's up. This is reminding me, yesterday I played a game for our Video Games Podcast for a YouTube video. Have you heard of the game GeoGuessr?

No. It's like a web-based thing. So it's basically, you play it in your web browser and it drops you just in a random location on Google Maps. And then you kind of have to walk around that place in Google Street View and work out where you are. And then just go onto the map and drop a pin and go, I reckon I'm here. So you just basically are walking around the roads being like, you know, looking for like a flag or like an ad that's got like a,

you know, maybe like a URL that gives you a clue as to like what country you're in. But this is like a kind of a weird harebrained version of that. Now, what are you doing are you on flight center looking up looking up melbourne melbourne hobart i'm just looking up florida i'm just looking up something i'm uh yeah i am looking up i'm i'm reading ahead okay that's what i'm doing you want to have all the information ready for me when you read out the next name. Is that it? Okay. Something like that.

Yeah. Now, what do we got? Well. Name number four. Yeah. I've got Lucy. I've got Paula. And I've got Ken.

Yeah. I've got my ragtag crew. Yeah. Okay. Well, thank you very much to Patreon subscriber Lewis Freeman. Lewis Freeman. Yep. All right.

Yeah. Now. And so you've gone, you've had a beer in the city. Yep. You've flown down to Tasmania, down to Launceston or something like that. Yeah. And like I said, I'm so devastated that I'm not using this as an excuse to just go back to Japan. Yeah.

Like I'm actually annoyed that I've already got Lucy. Or maybe part of the show is you drop them all off home. Yeah, okay, great. Doing a big ramp trip at the end. Okay, great. That's part of the show. Me and 100 – when I get 100 people, that's when it ends. That is a big part of any TV show that we never get to see.

Maybe that's the thing that separates our new show from every other show. You see people do talk shows. You see them do game shows. You see them do all this stuff. And you just see them in the studio. You never get to see them get home safely. Get home safely, yeah. Because, you know, like a lot of the time if you're with a partner or you're with someone or your family,

you're like, let us know when you get home safely. Yeah, sure. We never get to know when someone we see and have now got an attachment to someone on the TV get home safely. I mean, Rove's telling me that he fucked my mum, but then for all I know, he's died half an hour later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He fucked her in the park and left her there.

You know? We don't get to know that she's got home safely. He fucked, yeah, Rove fucked my mum on a freeway and then a bus hit him. Under a bridge. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So, all right.

So, I love that. Once I hit 100 people, then I'm doing another laugh where I'm dropping them all off back. So, first stop, Tokyo. See you, Lucy. Thanks for everything. Yeah. So... What a long, strange trip it's been.

Okay. Okay. So... So, I'm Beer in the City The show is Beer in the City Beer in the City Episode 1 with Lucy

Then me and her We're getting the Let's you know what Straight from the Let's say we get the spirit of Tasmania Straight In my head It's after work drinks

On a Friday night Yep You're having a drink together Straight to the airport Straight to the airport Okay sure Bang Hopping on the sky bus

Sneaking a couple of travellers on. Yep. She thinks she's just there for one quick cheeky drink and then bang, straight in the spirit of Tasmania. You're straight on the plane. Yep. Down there. You get in there and then off.

And then the old last Friday night flight to Florida. Yeah, I find Paula in the wall of pussies at Mona. Yes. That's where she works. That's where she works. That's where she works. Cleaning them. That's where she works where there's a hole in the wall and she's filling in. One of them fell off.

It's a travesty. Oh, yeah. Someone dropped out. Some sort of weird arty glory hole sort of thing. Sure. Okay. So I'm taking her away from her duties

on the pussy wall at my gun and then we're straight to Hobart airport off to Florida the last the last flight

to Florida for the night yep on the Friday night so this is all still happening Friday night yeah yeah yeah

so me and Lucy we're wrapping this drink up at like what six yep you're doing it as quick as you can let's say we're in Hobart

at eight. Yep. We collect Paula and then I mean international flights, yeah, they're usually there would be like a midnight kind of departure kind of thing. That's not unusual. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean a lot of this is unusual but let's say it isn't. No, I'm fully brought into the reality now. Yep. Then you're off to Florida

and then, now. Yep. Where are you off to now? Where am I off to next? Where's the next Logical step I've got my Mickey Mouse ears on From the little trip That we all took to Disney World

Yep Where's the next logical step? You go to the Florida airport Yep And you're looking around At the You're on the The outgoing flights

And I don't know where I'm going And again this is like You're back in the control room on the earpiece. And I've got you the flights. Now I've had to buy, what, four tickets at this point? Are you bankrolling this whole thing, by the way? Just eating into Blanket's college fund. We're no longer making a living off the podcast. All the patrons being piled into this

this is me going around to thank the patreon subscribers that by the very act of doing so I'm going broke this is Greg Fleet's

die on your feet style programming where you make an entire season of TV by going up to backers and going

can anyone back this show and give us any money and everyone says no and then we say we're going to

make an entire season and spend all the money and make it all and then someone can buy it later and then we say, we're going to make an entire season and spend all the money and make it all and then someone can buy it later and then later on no one buys it. I mean, that's what we should do. And not to keep harping on about it, but it is so pointless us doing the episode after this because this is all anyone's going to be interested in.

I reckon we are going to get a lot of messages of people going, boys, you give me the Kickstarter link and I am in. I am chucking in $100 to make this happen. I can even feel me wanting to know where you're off to next. And I know. And I know. I want to know where you're going next. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where am I going next? All right. So you're at the airport. You're at the Florida airport, whatever you call that Florida airport. And I've got the tickets and I've got the earpiece in and I've got a little Madonna. You're just telling me what gate to go to. I've got the little Madonna microphone've got the earpiece in and I've got a little Madonna. You're just telling me what gate to go to. I've got the little Madonna microphone thing strapped in from my ear even though. And is this, do I, am I somehow being kept in the, like are you, you're checking me in,

you've got an arrangement with the airlines where it's like, am I getting on the plane? You go through security with a blindfold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just so you don't get to know where you're going. Even when I'm getting, I don't know where I am until the plane lands. No, I like the idea of a little bit of a reveal. At the gate. I go, you're going to gate 16 I'm getting, I don't know where I am until the plane lands. No, I like the idea of a little bit of a reveal. At the gate.

I go, you're going to gate 16. Okay, here we go. Interesting. So your little human centipede line of guests are all going down there. I'm trying to put together in my head like,

16, what could that mean? Yeah. Oh, is there a clue there? Is there a clue there? Hmm, 16. Yeah. Little St. James Island. Yeah. Yeah, is there a clue there? Is there a clue there? Hmm, 16. Yeah. Little St. James Island. Yeah.

Yeah, more 15 maybe. You are going on the direct flight from Florida to Kyabrum. Okay. Kyabrum, Victoria. Rural country Victoria. Okay, not too shabby. Yeah. All right.

Now, look, that's not confirmed, but all I've done here, a bit of detective work, is I haven't got much to play with on the Lewis Freeman Facebook page. Yep. But what I do have... I do know that he's in Kyabron....is this terrible picture of him in front of a DeLorean

where he looks somewhat, I don't know, disabled? And also his friends have then gotten in the comments and just where he looks somewhat, I don't know, disabled. And also his friends have then gotten in the comments and just two friends of his have posted a screenshot of his face in the comments. And he's outside something called Hurley's Hotel. I've Googled that.

It's Kyabrum. And I've gone, okay, is this the same Lewis Freeman? So you're basically that he lives in Kyabrum on that. You don't think that could have just been a trip? I really want this guy to not live in Kaiboram. No, because then I double down. I did my extra research. I'm not...

Hey, look, this is a fucking... There's a reason I'm behind this show. There's a reason I'm in the control room. Yeah, but you've got all the... You've got the technology that NASA used to put rockets into space. Yeah, so I googled Lewis Freeman Kaiboram and something comes up. The first article that comes up is a news article from the Kyabrum Free Press

under the three subheadings of society, crime, and bullying. It's like, all right, I reckon this is our guy. I reckon this is the guy that subscribes to the Little Dum Dum Club. Well, this is problematic for the show. This is all about... Literally, the first paragraph of it is, Kybrim and district youth have been urged to take a stand against cyberbullying. And I think we're about to do it to him.

Yeah. Well, I mean, this is problematic because I vouch for Lucy. Not super well, but I spent a week hanging out with her. Kept in touch. Cool, chill person. Paula down in Tassie. They're pretty chilled out down there. I have to assume she's a decent person.

And then we got, was it Ken? We got Ken working at a car shop in Florida. Again, you have to assume pretty laid back guy. Now we've got a bully in the midst. You know what I mean? I don't know. It's not naming him as the bully. Oh, really?

It's saying there's a stand against cyberbullying. Okay, maybe he started the stand, potentially. I just don't want any... It's in the Kyabrum Free Press. Yeah. As if they're going, we're naming bullies in the Kyabrum Free Press. Yeah. As if they're going, we're naming bullies in the Kyabrum Free Press. Yeah, they could.

Regional newspaper. We've got a real, yeah. Well, look, you're in the control room, okay? Right. I'm flying around with these people. Yeah. Okay, I want this group to get along. These are the kinds of things that I have to think about.

Yeah. The sort of people that we're picking up along the way. I don't want any riffraff. I don't want any, you know, I don't want any, like any like bad vibes in this crew i want us to be all on the same page yes excited about this journey that we're going on no no now this is now look i have to say lewis is it possible uh between now and filming episode one could you move to new york or somewhere because i'm absolutely i'm devastated that i'm just coming back to Victoria and going to Kyabrum. Unless, who knows, maybe the fifth name lives somewhere incredibly exotic.

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Fingers crossed. I don't mind it. Florida to Kyabrum. I quite like it. It's pretty good. I quite like it.

It's pretty good. You in the control room just going out of your mind trying to find a Rex flight that goes direct between the two. No, I need there to be no stopovers. Yeah, there's no problem in aviation at the moment, is there? This should be simple, shouldn't it? There's people begging for work. Yeah. It's, yeah.

Oh, is it? And me just getting like, oh, is it direct? Is it an overnighter? Because Tommy doesn't like to travel overnight. Have you got any other, what other times have you got Florida to Kaiproom? I can't sleep on planes

and I really need to be like, you know, I need to be top of my game when I meet these people. I can't be zonked out and too tired. I want to make a good impression. No, he doesn't want to, why is there an Asia flight

from Florida to Kaiproom? I don't understand. All right, but we'll take it. Yeah, okay, sure. That's the only one you got I don't understand. All right, but we'll take it. Yeah, okay, sure. That's the only one you got. Yeah, Vietnam. All right. All right, so then you're showing...

I mean, Kyabrum is maybe the Florida of Victoria, to be fair. For all we know. Yeah. Sure. Have you ever been? Maybe Ken. Maybe Ken can feel at home. I feel like I must have been.

I feel like I've been to most country towns as a child. As a child, we would get in the car and go for a drive and go to every fucking country town. Ken can maybe drop in on... There might be like a Ford dealership in Kybrim. You can kind of check in there and... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Mix it up. Yes, I think that's...

I think he's going to acclimatise okay. I think what's going to happen is Lewis Freeman's going to be like, fuck, I wish I was earlier in the Patreon read read i could have been fucking flying around the world no absolutely yeah absolutely um lucy's trying the local uh japanese restaurant in there at carl abram and just seeing the ways in which they're absolutely butchering the food that she eats every day yeah yeah but yeah hey but you know what? Maybe Lewis might be going somewhere. Wow. Somewhere magnificent. I mean, it is going to be five this week.

I mean, this was going to be a much longer show, but we do, our guests are going to be here in about two minutes, so we better just do one more. So, but this is just ep one of season one. I think five people, five people per episode. That's a good TV show. That's a good TV show. That is a good TV show. You wouldn't want too many more in there because you want to spend a bit of time with each of them.

Yeah. So how long are we thinking each episode is? Three and a half hours? Or is this on the air and it's like, you know, every reality show now is like, there's the big two-hour version on Sundays and then just half an hour all through the week yeah is it a bit of that is it like the sundays are like you

know on the block they have the room reveal that's like the big kind of like marquee point of the show so you have like sunday's me actually meeting the people and the rest of the week is like you in the control room right kind of putting this all together yeah maybe, maybe. I don't know. I'm really preoccupied trying to research the last one, to be honest. Okay, sure. Well, you know, time's running out. We don't have very long until the guests get here. Yeah.

So I can see you look like you're working overtime. You look stressed. Okay, all right, all right. What have you got for us well let's just do this um let's just do this all right so you're in chi abram you go to the chi abram you go to the chi abram um i'm going back to the fucking air just the chi abram international airport yeah yeah and there's now there's five of you now five of us we're nearly a whole row yep and uh and uh you you get there you look up at the uh i'm in the aisle seat sorry everyone i get caribou international airport and i tell you

you got to go to gate 26 yep uh all the way down there you get to go 20 25 you get a bit excited because you're like it's new york i thought no that's gate 25 you know 26 yeah to get to you know what would be good is like at a certain you need to get to. You know what would be good is like at a certain point, let's say once I hit like 20 people, all of a sudden I'm flying business. Oh yeah. I want to create like a bit of,

I need to, at that point with that many people, it is getting into sort of like a cult. Yeah. And at that point I need, I think I need to kind of elevate myself a bit so that there's a degree of like, you know,

mystique about me. Well, I start to branch off a little bit. There's a hierarchy. There's a reason why you're the guy and they're whoever the fuck they are. You've got no say in the matter whatsoever. There's no good reason for them to have to come on any of this. Actually, that's why you're in business.

That is a good question. That's why you're in business, to separate yourself from them. They keep coming up going, but why do we have to come? Why am I being made to do this? Why don't you just see the people and then move on without us? Because Carl already bought your flight, and it would be rude of you to not go on it. Right, right, right.

Do we have to do anything with the other guests? No, no, no. Shut up. Just sit there. You can make friends if you want. We're going somewhere else. Hey, maybe some people will end up meeting the love of their life through this. Oh, right.

That would be cool. Maybe Lucy Dayman will hook up with Ken McClure. Yeah, maybe. I doubt it. Ken will leave his wife for Lucy Dayman because of her intoxicating number of podcasts she can recommend. Yeah, right. Everyone getting on the Rex flight and being like, oh, fuck, there's no in-flight entertainment. Lucy's just like, don't worry, guys, I got you covered. The old cracking buckles. I got this, right. Everyone getting on the Rex flight and being like, oh, fuck, there's no in-flight entertainment. Lucy's just like, don't worry, guys, I got you covered.

The old cracking knuckles. I got this, boys. WTF. Serial. Yeah. The Ricky Gervais one. And that murder one. Lucy's got the, like, headphone splitter coming out of the phone

that's just then got, like, five headphones plugged into it. Everyone just taking in the same podcast at once. a nerd she's like everyone has to listen to the same one at the same time jesus all right kyron international airport you're at gate 26 and and you're off to sea thank you very much to the fifth one this fifth Patreon subscriber this week thank you very much to Mr Comedy wow okay right Mr Comedy Mr Comedy

yeah well where am I going for where am I going for Mr Comedy where is I'm just looking up where does he or they live we just we just

that's very that's very important we don't want to offend Mr Comedy where is Mr Comedy just looking looking up. When you look up Facebook Mr. Comedy, it says, Popular right now, Mr. Comedy.

Popular right now? Yeah. And he lives in... He's living in... Where is he living? Where is he living? Let's say China. That's a country I saw somewhere.

That's a place? Okay. Yeah. So you're going to China for the end to see Mr. Comedy. From Kyabrum. Yeah. We're going to see Dear Glorious Comedy. Yep.

In Wuhan, China. Okay. Right. Yeah. I mean, that is... Yeah. Yeah. It's been responsible for a lot of good comedy in the last couple of years, so it makes sense that that's where he'd live.

Yeah. Okay, over to Wuhan. Yeah, neat. No, no, no. You know what? I've changed it. Oh, he's moved. I'm changing it.

He's moved. You had an old address. Because I've actually found someone that's actually who it is now. I've just found this guy. Look at this guy. It's Mr. Comedy, first name Johnny, in Nigeria. Mr. Johnny Comedy in Nigeria. You're going to see Mr. Johnny Comedy in Nigeria.

I do not hate that at all. All right. And that's the end of the show. You're getting to Nigeria to pick up Mr. Johnny Comedy? Well, that's the end of episode one. Yeah, right. Then the five of us are off somewhere. Fuck, what are you doing?

How is there a full season of this show? How is that just one episode? What do you mean? That's one episode. There's five names per episode. Oh, we do an episode two next week.

Is this what we do every week from now on? I think it might be. Every Patreon subscriber from now on, we visit. Is that what's happening? Let us know at home listening

if that's what you'd like this segment to become. So not only have we got to the point of naming and riffing on someone's name for 10 minutes every week, we have to go visit all of them from now on. Yeah. Well, what's all this waste up? On our new TV show.

Oh, right. Sorry. You're a fucking... Sorry. You're sitting on your fat ass in the control room. Sorry. Sorry. I'm the one pounding the pavement over here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm never going to see my girlfriend again. Yeah, yeah. I just got a dog. He's going to forget what I look like. Yeah, yeah. I'm leaving it all behind. Sorry. But it's worth it to thank each and every single Patreon subscriber.

Well, thanks, everyone. And thanks, Comedy. Thanks, Mr. Johnny Comedy. We will see you next time. See you, mates.