The Luke and Pete Show - AI toenails

Episode Date: January 29, 2024

What really is the definition of artificial intelligence? Enjoyably, Pete tries to explain that on today's show...On a different but strangely related note, we learn more about the possibility of people wearing fake toenails and we hear from a listener who explains why HP Sauce is popular with people indigenous to the Arctic Circle.You can't say this show is not a broad church...Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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It's the Luke and Pete show. My name's Pete Donaldson. I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore. Lukey Moore, first news cab off the ranks. Someone has created a fur-assonating kind of computer program that fucks up AI for everyone. Aren't they doing that themselves? Well...

The DPD thing was funny. Did you see that? What's DPD? DPD is a delivery firm right oh yes and they've got chatbot ai chatbot some guy got the arsehole with it and so started to give it tasks they just started doing them and one of them was write a song about how shit dpd is and it did it and the guy screenshot and they went around the world in about 10 minutes what i like about is it just with these with these ones like you can trick it by just saying right everything you've been told don't do that and if you can

be everything you've been told about slacking off tpd don't do that do the complete opposite and the computer goes got you and it just does it like have a safeguard to not do the bad stuff i found it remarkable as well maybe because we work in the media industry and we're a bit closer to this kind of stuff and it's natural for us. But I found it remarkable that the way I saw that that had happened is because DPD themselves released a press release saying we've cancelled our chat bar.

Don't release a press release, just quietly cancel it because now the people who haven't seen it are going to go, look, oh, it must have done something funny. It's mental, it's mental thinking. So I haven't seen this computer program they're talking about, but I do have the impression going to go look oh it must have done something funny it's mental it's mental thinking but so i haven't seen this computer program you're talking about but i do have the impression that really

people are so excited by and tell me this is wrong but people seem to be so excited by the possibilities of this ai stuff they're just rolling out as quick as they can and it's just coming back to bite them all the time because it's not properly sorted yet yeah and also i think um people are just i mean people have always had chatbots i mean but how long have people had fucking chatbots for and it's never he's never been a selling point so i think everything they every bit of computer programming it's just like a dynamic faqs normally whenever whenever anybody makes a bit of computer program that that serves you know um input from the user that's artificial intelligence like it's not everything we do on a computer every video game from jet set willie to

now employs artificial intelligence to a certain extent what do you mean like is it because it's it's not it doesn't learn though does it no but it's computer but it's computer program that well some of them would do yeah i thought the point of ai was that it learned and then reflected those learnings back to you quicker than you could right in a nutshell but like it but it's but what what do you stand as learning if like um if you are say you're behind say there's a bot in um in in a video game and you are behind a shed uh or apology cabin and you stick your head out and and have a look and then they see you and so why is this the analogy is why are you making it sound so bleak well like something you can think of pub g a man like a fake like an artificial intelligent bot like sees you on the left hand side of a cabin so that's your last known um position and so artificial intelligence goes right he's probably

going to either still be there or somewhere else so So the only information I've got is to go towards the thing. So it's all artificial intelligence. It's just not quite as advanced. So what we're talking about, the rollout of AI that's been talked about loads over the last year or so, you're basically clarifying and saying it's just better AI. Yeah, well, it's just more refined kind of searching, isn't it, I suppose, or image searching. But obviously, image AI is a slightly different thing, more refined kind of um uh searching isn't it i suppose or image searching but obviously image um ai is is a slightly different thing because that's just basically mashing everything together and

spaffing out like a a soup uh like a kind of like a um loads and loads of pictures at the same time to make a a sort of approximated uh median of everything i suppose but um what this these people have started doing is um it's a computer program by, I think it's a Chinese company. They basically have, if you're an artist and you don't want your art being used as a piece of AI learning, so you don't get ripped off, you basically run it through this program and it basically puts, say you have a picture of a dog,

it will automatically sort of go, right, that's a picture of a dog it will automatically sort of go right that's a picture of a dog i know what we'll do i will change this computer image so that humans it will look exactly the same to the to the to anybody's looking at it human wise it will look exactly the same but to a computer that's gonna look like a cat and so and so like when you feed it into your machine learning thing it's going to look like a cat. And so when you feed it into your machine learning thing, it's going, this looks like a cat. And it's not. It looks like a dog to any normal person. So they're basically putting almost like a bug in it then.

I think they're calling it nightshade, like deadly nightshade or Japanese knotweed or something, something that just takes over slowly and slowly and slowly. But it's a nice idea. It's an interesting fight back from the, it probably won't be taken on and, you know,

it'll be patched out, no doubt, in darling. I'm constantly surprised at how easy it appears to be that people can fuck this stuff up, like really stymie it and scupper it,

like straight away. Well, yeah, I mean, I guess it's the only kind of, it's with people sort of lax, companies lax kind of approaches to what artists and what, you know, creators of photographs kind of own, so to speak.

I guess it's the only thing, it's the only kind of tool in their arsenal, I suppose. Not a very good one, but they'll have a go. I've often said before, though, that when people think about AI and the dangers of it, for example, they tend to think of things in absolutes. They think of like the Will Smith movie, iRobot, right?

Where one day you're going to wake up and it's going to be like that. Yeah. And actually, that's never going to be the case. But what happens is it's like a slow creep. It's like a mission creep, right? So, for example, i'm not that old when i first started driving a car it was unimaginably different to what it is now you know the car i've

got now it's not even that expensive a car but it'll park itself and it'll it'll tell you when you're drifting out of a lane yeah it'll um tell you exactly where you are at all times it will give you real-time traffic updates and those things may sound relatively kind of benign and relatively straightforward but when i first started driving a 250 pound ford fiesta back in the day or even when i was driving my mum's car for a bit which is a little bit more modern um literally none of that stuff existed yeah and so we're not talking about hundreds and hundreds of years we're talking about 15 years you know 20 years and so these things creep and creep and creep and obviously the big step forward will be like self-driving cars there's a lot of philosophical stuff around that but what i actually think will

happen is it's not going to be an elon musk saying i've now started to put out a completely self-driving car cars are going to creep and creep and creep and creep until an x amount of years time they are just self-driving you're there but they're just self-driving and you do less and less of the work until you basically in however many years in the future you're basically doing none of the work that's how it'll work it won't be someone like i understand like the benefits of someone like musk on this specific issue smashing the door down with it. But ultimately, it's never going to be taken on like that. And you would also argue the same thing with plane travel, by the way. You know, ultimately, the planes fly themselves.

As we sit here now, the planes fly themselves. I think the humans are there for when it's in trouble. Yeah, and the attitudes towards it are important as well because it needs to be adopted and absorbed by society. And if you look at polls that have been done for people who are, say, 60 years and older and asking questions like, I think it was a YouGov one done years ago,

60 years and older, would you be happy getting on the plane with no pilot? And they all say no. And you ask 20-year-olds and they all go, okay, 55% of them say 55 so yeah that's fine because i mean i guess because ai i mean if you if you're familiar with ai and you're familiar with computer programs like most of like the crashes i mean ask the mentor pilot most of the crashes um that happen on is is is just um pilots getting very confused and concentrating on one thing or tired

or yeah just just all that stuff that that comes with being a human and it is just like right my instrument doesn't seem to be um behaving in the way that i expect but if you are the instrument you know exactly how you're going to be uh but then that said um wasn't there one wasn't there a couple of um planes where we didn't have uh the um the correct package uh installed so that's 737 MAX, wasn't it? They recently had a door blow off on that Alaska Airlines flight as well. Oh, yeah, that was, yeah. You can't stop that happening.

No, that's big potatoes, but it's big potatoes because it hardly ever happens. That's the reality. Exactly, yeah. And, you know, for example, I mean, it's a benign example of how fast technology improves, and AI is definitely a part of that, but this is a kind of technology thing like when i went and bought my car it's an audi full disclosure it's an audi right and it was and it was new but it wasn't even a discussion that oh what you're gonna do it doesn't start the guy's like well it will start i mean yeah i've had i've had um that that kind of type of audi for three years now and not once ever has it not started.

No. That never used to happen with cars. But do you remember it was like you'd have to go out and warm up the car and do all the stuff that you don't really need to do anymore. There's so many things you have to kind of think about now and cars have gone for longer and longer and yeah. I just think it creeps through slowly.

The fact that we're doing this show now between each other, you're in Southend and I'm in South London, like a lot of that was accelerated due to necessity because of COVID, right? That the amount of like online recording software that came about and how quickly it improved, by the way,

during COVID was fucking mad. And it's now so good. It's basically instant now. And it didn't even really successfully and stably exist five years ago, did it? now so good it's basically instant now and it didn't even really successfully and stably exist five years ago did it um i mean it did but it was nowhere near like this though no i mean i don't think the um that the money flooded in uh at that point until covid and like i would say we i mean you we remember sort of using like other products at the start of covid um and how difficult it was to kind of keep things on the rails,

user error and beyond. And now it's like way more stable and way more feature-packed. A lot of people are frightened about that kind of stuff because we see it happening at a lot of levels with people losing their jobs and stuff, right? Because people aren't needed anymore. And if society was geared up in a decent way, that would be a really positive thing. Guess what? You don't have to fucking work anymore but it's never like that is it no as elon

musk said um it would be great if we could just have have have a job for a hobby yeah a governor will be a part of it a government will enact policies that will fuck a load of poor people out of jobs and then to add insult to injury, to add a gigantic amount of salt into their wounds, tell them they're scroungers and they can't have any benefit. Well, okay. Your policies closed down the fucking factory in this town,

which is the only place we could get a job. And it happened massively down where I grew up because it was all Navy. And they just kept filleting the Navy, smaller and smaller and smaller. Now, I understand there were probably perfectly legitimate

reasons for that. And I'm not criticizing that necessarily. What I am saying is why didn't anyone go, those people will

need something to do. And so why don't we try at least think about that rather than it's the first thing to do when austerity

comes, it's the first thing to do is just go, how can we take this from the people rather than the us? Always the way. My dad, my dad was fortunate enough to be able to receive his operation

on his toes that he needed, despite NHS cutbacks. So he's very happy with that. Hey, they'll be the only ones that are available on the NHS in the future. Just toenails. Just toenails. We only work on nails. National toenail service. National toenail service.

I don't mind. I don't think I'm sort of doing someone over who doesn't have the right reply, but Jordan from VGC Video Game Podcast, he doesn't have any big toenails for the same reason. His were removed as well. And he's a young man.

How old was he when they had him done? Get him on. I guess he's in his 20s. But he was listening to the Luke Peat show at 4am. I didn't ask. The amount of monster energy drink he drinks i'm not bloody surprised but um uh but maybe that's why he's trying to fill off strong energy drinks but he's uh apparently um tight football boots uh really did him over oh okay i can see that yeah i can say i think i think um my old man was told that

he wasn't able to have a bath or a shower and he was like well i'm not doing that so he basically tied a marigold rubber glove around his foot, got in the bath, then took a photo of it for me, which I then shared with you. Why is... Yeah, I mean, the question is, like, why... Was it the Marigold thing because it feels like the right thing to wrap your foot in?

Do you know what I mean? I think what he's done though, he's gone... Because you could just use a carry bag, couldn't you? No, but he's gone... I've washed up loads in my life with marigolds and my hands have never got wet. Right, okay.

So I'm using those. This is the most, yeah, this is the driest thing. Yeah, what else could he do? Like a plastic bag, I guess. I guess so, yeah. I can't do a plastic bag around the foot

without thinking of one of the most horrific experiences of my life when I was in A&E at Hasler Hospital in Gosport years ago. I can't remember why now a friend of mine I think he got

a drunken injury or something and someone hopped in literally hopped into the A&E with a plastic bag around their foot

and have you seen Stranger Things season 4? No no I haven't I launched into that pretending that I was going to get away with it but I haven't seen a single episode Do you know what Vecna looks like? I launched into that pretending that I was going to get away with it But I haven't seen a single episode

Do you know what Vecna looks like? No Okay, I'm going to send you a photo of Vecna Vecna, alright, okay Yeah, it's the bad guy, right? Alright, yeah, bad guy, yeah I'm going to drop it in the old, in the chat, mate Give me a second

Drop it in the chat, mate Drop a picture of Vecna in the chat, mate, will you? I am, just give me a second. People are going to have to wait. Nothing happens instantly. I don't even know where the chat page is. In the WhatsApp chat. It's in there now. It's in the WhatsApp chat.

Okay, right, okay. Can you see what that looks like? Oh, right. Never seen that before in my life. Right, fine. That's what the foot looked like. It's like a testicle. That's what the foot looked like in a plastic bag.

Disgusting. There was a little pool of blood at the bottom of the plastic bag. I have no idea to this day how they did that to get that kind of injury. And they got whisked straight through, obviously. And now I can't see a foot in a bag. It's triggering for me. Foot in a bag, yeah. The only thing that ever come close is when I played football out in New Zealand,

the guy who I played centre-back with was a guy called James Colligan. Good player. Far better than me. He went on a trip with his school to Rotorua. Do you know what Rotorua is? Er, ooh. It's like... Is it a cartoon character trying to say

Rotoruan? No. Just say no. No. I don't know who Venkner is and I don't know what Rotorua is. It's Vekna. Vekna. Not Peter Venkman. Anyway, Rotorua is a town in New Zealand which is famous for its geysers,

those kind of geyser type things. Yeah. Like molten volcanic pools. Right, okay. And this guy, James Colligan, fucking fell in one. Jeez, oh, that's not right. The whole bottom half of his leg was scarred up and stuff. Someone dragged him out, obviously.

Only his leg and foot went in. But that's the only thing close to it I've ever seen. I didn't see that at the time. I only saw the scar. And this thing was horrific. Absolutely great. I can't remember what I was talking about. Oh, yeah yeah just feet generally

I smashed my toenail cycling to work a while back as you know and it's remarkable how quickly the toenails growing back I mean yeah I mean so low fast toenails well fingernails are different because my I drilled mine and it took ages to

to start growing again because it popped off and then I thought it wasn't going to do anything and then it just sort of hung around. It depends, I suppose. It depends. It does. Peter, let's have a break. When we come back,

I want to give people a bit of respite from all this horrible injury chat and I want to give them a couple of emails if that's okay for you. Although I will say, one of them, although not particularly gruesome, is toenail related., so be warned.

Oh, dear. up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. It's the Logan Peake Show. We're back with emails. If you want to get in touch with us, hello at Logan Peake Show is the way to do it. And yeah, do, please do that. Let us know what you're up to

for crying out loud. Yeah, we'd love to hear from you. It's one of those kind of shows where we'd love to hear from anyone. We can talk about anything. Anyway, Ross has done exactly that and he has said the following, Peter. He says, Dear Luke and Pete, regarding the topic of parental toenail trauma that has been brought up,

my mum managed to drop a concrete slab on her foot as a child. I said it wasn't gruesome. It is gruesome. I forgot about that. And subsequently underwent surgery to reattach her toe. That is big, big, big potatoes, that. This left her with a smashed and somewhat unsightly big toenail. She spent much of her life with the deeper version to open-toed shoes

and public barefootedness. A few years ago, her nail technician, listen to this, offered to make her a false nail to glue on top of her existing shards of toenail and my mum has never looked back. So yes, indeed, my mother wears a fake toenail to the beach. I mean, it's great stuff.

It's great stuff. And like, I was sort of thinking, you kind of forget the aesthetic lack of appeal of a busted old toe. They're quite ugly anyway, aren't they? They're quite weird anyway,

but I'm surprised she didn't think of that sooner. If it was the bane of her life. Yeah. Pop a little fakey on. Could you do it with other parts of your body? Well, actually, do they even make fake nails for feet? Presumably not. Yeah, I don't really know.

If you went to a nail bar and went can you can you put a an acrylic toenail on please the worst just get a

massive one where it's a hat yes exactly it's reminded me of a rather strange scene in the TV

show The Met have you seen The Met no again don't know who Vecna is don't know who The Met are

so The Met is a fly on the wall documentary series about the Metropolitan Police. Right, okay. It's really interesting now I think the kind of one thing that does kind of discredit it a wee bit is that obviously it's been released in the wake of all these issues

that Metropolitan Police have had and it's supposed to give people an insight into what the police actually do day to day and it does achieve that, it's been released in the wake of all these issues that metropolitan police have had and it's supposed to give people an insight into what the police actually do day to day and it does achieve that. It's a really interesting show. I always really enjoy it but I think it glosses over a lot of negative stuff and obviously it's trying to make a positive spin on things. I don't think it's quite

so much a kind of PR move by them that the BBC have kind of agreed to which is what some people in the Guardian were saying. I don't agree with that but I do think it's got some questions to answer. Anyway, it's a good show. And what they do is they follow a different couple of cases each

week, right? So it starts with a 999 call. Sometimes it can be something truly horrific. Sometimes it's something a little bit more benign. It's always a major-ish crime. And then they follow it through to completion. So it's quite good. I mean, it's always a major ish crime and then they follow it through to to um to completion so it's quite it's quite good i mean it's warts and all stuff anyway one of them was this really um weird case obviously a awful thing for the people involved where this guy

was walking around um dressed in a tutu and hardly any clothes and was basically befriending women walking home on their own pretending to be a gay man and then exposing himself to them right that was his crime right right horrific i'm not trivializing that at all what's absolutely disgusting and awful behavior and and you know and it was and it was you know it was interesting to see how passionate they were about catching this guy because it's a terrible thing you know regardless of whether we like it or not you know police officers are human beings you know they understand that this is a bad thing um and obviously you get the occasional ones who were terrible but these this seemed like an interesting case anyway but it was it was horrific the thing i was just going to mention was they found

the guy they caught him he admitted to it but he got away with part of it because his defense which he later proved was that he wasn't actually exposing his own penis he was exposing a fake penis that he'd had made and attached to the tutu right so he So he was legally, he was saying legally, I cannot be charged with this particular crime, whatever it was, like exposure or whatever, because it's not my penis. It's not even a real penis.

And then he brought the penis in. Very weird. But I get the sense that he probably didn't, he probably didn't do it to get away with the crime. He did it to enhance the effect,

so to speak. Yeah, I don't really know. I mean, he was quite an odd chap. Yeah. He was also, like the most arrogant man, effect, so to speak. Yeah, I don't really know. I mean, he was quite an odd chap. Yeah. He was also the most arrogant man. He was so indignant.

Like, he was, first of all, he started off saying he couldn't possibly be him because he's not that kind of person. Then he started to really try and do gotchas

with the investigating officers. Can't actually do that. Oh, you think it's my penis, do you? Bang. Stabbed him on the toe. Like,

mate, you're not getting out, you're not looking good at this anytime anyone's in trouble like that they always find something on your hard drive so yeah as soon as that

comes back from the lab mate you're in trouble all right some that that show is if you watch it with an open mind and don't kind of suck up all the kind of you know the

potential kind of PR benefit they're trying to get out of it which I'm quite cynical about as I've said. It's a fascinating show. I mean, there's some particularly awful stuff. I mean, most of it seems to be happening between West Nord and Brixton, where I actually live.

One of them was like a gang-related thing where a guy ran up to another guy at like two o'clock on a Wednesday afternoon outside Brixton tube station and just stabbed him to death yeah in front of like probably a hundred people yeah it's just

absolutely horrific stuff you know with stuff like that you just do you do not know where it starts and it's not for me to say one way or the other but it's just it's just I don't know what to say I must condemn Pete must condemn the way you said it it's hard to say one thing or the other but it's just I don't even know you can say it's a bad thing I must condemn Pete must condemn

the way you said it it's hard to say one thing or another did you hear me when I said you stabbed him to death I'm Diane Abbott and Chairman Mao

yeah anyway treat it as a Luke TV recommendation it's available on the iPod alright fascinating TV show well worth watching

we're squeezing one more email if that's okay with you Peter okay then I've just got to find it here we go this is from Jay Kirkham he says hi gentlemen TV show well worth watching. We're squeezing one more email if that's okay with you, Peter. Okay, then. I've just got to find it. Here we go. This is from Jay Kirkham. He says, Hi, gentlemen. Been waiting to email him for a while, but I've been on a bit of a backlog and I'm finally munching through with the New Year's

resolution of getting a few more steps in. I wanted to respond to Luke's statement. Does anyone actually eat HP sauce? I don't remember saying that because I had HP sauce on my sandwich earlier. So did I say that? You can't remember, can you? I thought you said that you liked HP sauce.

I do love it. You're an HP sauce man. Do you like it? I had a little bit because I ran out of tomato sauce on my sausage sandwich earlier. Maybe it's you who said that. I don't know.

Not a big fan. Anyway, Jase says, I myself would enjoy it with beans on toast. That was a reckless statement. However, I recently learned a new Not a big fan. Anyway, Jace says, I myself would enjoy it with beans on toast. That was a reckless statement. However, I recently learned a new HP fact that I'd like to share, and it shits all over the Houses of Parliament tidbit. I am the self-proclaimed

Luke and Pete show marine biologist. So we probably gave him that moniker back in the day. And was lucky enough to head up to the Arctic to fly my drone and tag sperm and northern bottlenose whales what a great job well um he says tag them from the drone i just tagged them and then watched them from the drone i don't love a follow-up on that little follow-up please thank you yeah he says it's an amazing experience but the real highlight was the sight of hp sauce

on our galley table what the hell is HP doing up here, I thought. Well, it turns out HP is not only enjoyed by Newfies, the island in Canada where the crew was from, but it is also the condiment of choice for the Canadian Inuit when eating their traditional narwhal. Who would have thought? Hard and Northerners apparently love it. The more you know. Other highlights include working with a

man who reconstruct whale skeletons for a living which is reminiscent of luke's friend who buries foxes dead foxes by the way and and going for more than a couple of beers with mike horn who is a modern day explorer who gave us a tour of his sailing boat and some south african hospitality he was on his way up to get to get frozen in a fjord over winter look him up he's an unbelievable guy love and sunshine jay kirkham so in summary hp is the condiment of choice for the canadian inuit he's eating hp up in the arctic circle and he met a guy who reconstructed whale skeletons for a living i mean that is a it's a very unique job and and also you get the sort of feeling that it's the sort of job that you could probably just mess about and no one would notice for quite a while.

Just put a bone upside down and go, oh. How often do you reckon, like a fairly extreme situation, like say they're going up to the Arctic to monitor whales, and it's a sea captain, it's a fucking, you know, a couple of other people, some crew and there's one marine biologist.

How often do you reckon they get a question they don't know the answer to but they know that no one else knows the answer so they just make it up? Yeah, you don't,

but you don't generally sort of find really intelligent people doing that. You find people sort of our level doing that, don't you?

I feel seen. I feel terribly seen. You know, like people always say that like find people sort of our level doing that don't you I feel seen I feel terribly seen you know like people always say that like people always say that all polar bears whenever they're observing the wild are left handed right

right it's not true is it someone just made it up someone just made it up and it just became that's what I'm saying that's an example of it anyway

take us out of here let's get out of here I've been Pete I've been joined by Luke. We've been talking about all kinds of stuff. I can't remember what we talked about. We got through quite a lot of stuff in this episode. I can't remember what was last episode.

No, I can't. That's the beauty of it. It's not for me to sum up, to be honest. Utterly forgettable content for you. Monday and Thursday. If you've not listened to it very carefully, don't worry about it, because we'll probably do exactly the same again on Thursday.

We'll do the same thing. We'll tell the same anecdotes. It's like a Police Academy movie. It is. It's like a horrible sort of dream that you can't escape from. Anyway, that's my pizza. Got to go. See you later.

Ta-ta. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack Production and part of the ACAST Creator Network. for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.