The Luke and Pete Show - Got any grapes?
Episode Date: March 4, 2024Do you think Pete would be a good spy? Today, Luke amazingly explains why he backs Donny for a career in espionage.Elsewhere, Pete shares his fears that he is addicted to grapes - which admittedly isn...’t that 007 - and a listener tells us about the sequence of events that lead to him buying a “vasectomy advent calendar”. It’s just another vintage edition of The Luke and Pete Show.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's the Luke and Pete show.
I'm Pete Donaldson, still living a life full of grapes.
I'm like a Roman emperor, Luke.
Still eating my grapes.
It's like when you don't get stabbed to death.
Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.
I'm very much a lover of food.
It gives me a, I don't know, like a sensation, I suppose, in my mouth, so to speak.
I don't care about the taste of it.
I just want something to pop, burst, explode.
That's why I like the bubble tea with the passion fruit popping candy stuff.
Very nice.
I just want something to explode.
I love squeezing spots.
I love filling carrier bags full of cottage cheese and just punching them i love all of that normal stuff
that does normal guys get up to i love it and i just want more grips in my life and i also i'm
shitting myself quite a lot based on what we talked about on thursday with um the fraud stuff i just don't think any fraudsters confident to
take you on i think um well i think the banks never bother ringing me anymore saying that
something weird's happened to your account are you doing what you've paid um four grand to
someone in japan yeah that's fine they probably would call you if he stopped if he stopped
i was buying nappies or something you haven't bought £600 worth of
Nando's for a while
is everything okay
in your account
I've got a black
card
you've got a black
credit card Peter
that's different
you have to pay
for that stuff
we just noticed
that someone
not you
but someone on
your account
appears to have
taken out a gym
membership
get out yeah
do you remember
the Nando's black
card being a big
thing I think
they still exist
but I think
they've become
the preserver very, very well.
Rick Edwards had one.
Yeah, Matt Dyson from XFM had one, and my God.
Because he is like a world class.
He can get freebies.
He can just get any freebies.
The guy loves a freebie.
He's very good at getting them,
and he has been for a very, very long time.
And he had, when they first started that scheme,
a black card at Nando's.
And, oh, God, we had a couple of nights out that scheme a black card at nando's and oh god we had
a couple of nights out in like covent garden nando's and we must have spent like 150 quid
in cocktails like we weren't like eating all that much food but they had a bar so we were just
absolutely rinsing the cocktails i mean they they tidied up that loophole very very soon
oh yeah because you're the exact you're the exact kind of reason why it doesn't happen exactly yeah
well you know it's very i'm much got to get it done now because tomorrow
it's better £10 in the hand today than
£100 tomorrow. That's why I say it.
Speaking of grapes, you know that people
take grapes to people who are
recovering in hospital because they've got an
anaesthetic quality.
Is that true? What, it calms you down?
Is that why I'm so sleepy all the time?
There's some kind of chemical in grapes
that gives, I think it's very
mild but like a
mild anaesthetic
quality which is
why you feel good
when you eat them
is that like is
this like a are
they retconning
just people bringing
grapes to people
in because they're
easy because they
last for ages and
they stay pretty
well I thought it
was originally that
and they're easy to
eat and the rest of
it but actually a
lot of it's to do
with the anaesthetic
quality of them
am I addicted
am I a fentanyl head just absolutely smashing back as many grapes as possible
um and pineapple is the only fruit that eats you as you're eating it as well you know that
uh have we not talked talked about this reason oh no i think i might have um i i bought a new
mobile phone and it um it only has like a fingerprint reader and um yeah i think i've
started losing my fingerprints.
I can't open it.
What's that got to do with it?
Well, my point was that I might have been,
because pineapple pickers don't have,
they reportedly don't have any fingerprints because it rubs them off.
It's an apocryphal kind of urban myth,
but I think because of the, is it acids?
I guess it's acids, isn't it?
It's called bromelain.
It's the enzyme that kind of...
Bromelain.
...eats your kind of...
Eats your skin, right.
...mouth with.
Apparently, the old fingerprints thing is a myth.
All right.
Oh, well, never mind.
I mean, that would be really weird, wouldn't it?
I mean, that would be a real problem.
If you dry your hands...
If your hands are too dry, I can't get them off.
My fingerprints are completely unreadable.
Which is annoying. Oh, right.
She's got to do some burglaries.
Yeah.
I'm not a slender man. I'm the
forgotten, the grey man. I could be
anyone, couldn't I? Brilliant. I'll tell you that a while
back I was, I've got a friend
who's like the grey. I've got a mate who
he doesn't work, as far as I know, in any kind
of spycraft industry industry but he is an quite a senior administrator right quite a big well-known company
right okay yeah and he's a he's a lovely fellow he's one of the funnest guys i know but he's like
outwardly the straightest guy you will ever ever meet like he always wears like understated smart clothes,
nicely kind of dry cleaned,
kind of longish coat.
And he has like a pretty generic briefcase
and a really almost like
very, very normal pair of glasses.
And he is exactly what George Smiley
would be like in real life.
It's amazing how
you'll be in a pub with him and
so you go to the toilet and come back.
And I mean this in like an amazingly positive way.
I know it sounds like I'm digging him out but I'm not because
he's a great guy. You would never notice
he's even there. He could do such an amazing
job as a spy.
He's the grey man. He is the grey man
at all times. He can the grey man. He is the grey man at all times. He doesn't stand out anyway.
Would he be
the first to admit that? That's what people say.
I always call him George Smiley.
Clean his glasses with the
thick end of his tie. Brilliant.
That kind of thing. Although he doesn't wear a tie because
that probably would stand out these days.
I like to think
that I would have out these days. Yeah. I just think, I like to think that I would have the,
I have the,
certainly not the demeanour,
but I have the looks of a grey man
who could be the perfect spy.
No, you're too expression,
you're too extroverted
with your clothing choices.
Well, that's what I mean.
Yeah, but if I didn't do that
and just wore normal clothes,
I think that would be absolutely fine.
But I just think as soon as I'm tested,
I would start to sweat,
panic.
Crumble.
Just absolutely,
I've never been tested, Luke.
Never been tested.
How would you be tested,
do you think?
What's the likelihood?
How does that manifest itself?
I don't know.
I mean,
I mean,
I don't know.
I mean,
the former Yugoslavia.
I'm in Yugoslavia.
It's back in the day.
I'm in Yugoslavia.
I'm here to, I'm heading Yugoslavia it's back in the day I'm in Yugoslavia I'm here to
I'm heading for a dead drop
and if I remember
my spycraft books
from when I was a child
a lot of spies
they take bricks
out of walls
and they hide
bits of paper
in the mortar
between the bricks
and so I'm going to
grab a bit of paper
but a contact
for
the Russians has found me.
He's got a gun under his big coat.
And he says, come with me, sir.
And then I immediately spin round, shit my pants, get on my knees and cry.
And that's the end of my spy
turns out he wasn't
very good at this
no he thinks
it's a double bluff
and he just lets you go
yes
he's like no spy
would act like that
he can't be a spy
no spy would do
like could you just
you know like
if you're approached
by like a lunatic
you just out loony them
and you get away with it
like
if I started doing
fucking air guitar
or something
so I had a a friend at and you get away with it. Like, if I started doing fucking air guitar or something.
So I had a friend at uni when I went the first time
who lived in the hall room
opposite me
in Halls of Residence
who was an absolute psychopath.
He was a good friend.
I like him still.
He's a really good lad.
But he's mental.
None of your colleagues
ever get reviewed.
The grey man,
the psychopath,
just everyone just, they never get reviewed the gray man the psychopath just everyone just
they never get reviewed well do they i'm just i'm just trying to describe them for people
okay you know i'm just trying i'm just trying to you know give people a picture i'm not
illustrative that's all it is um and you know me there's no way i would say this to everyone else
and not say it to them anyway no because and also you would always say, you repeatedly
on the show do say, I can't
say that because he's not here to defend themselves, etc.
etc. So, yeah. Yeah. So
this guy's a storm on second pass, I was like.
So, yeah. And I think
I am also very kind of
generous in praise for people who see their face as well.
I never feel awkward about saying that. You're fucking brilliant
at that. You've done really well. I love
how you do this. I'm kind of an equal opportunities insulter, I think.
Anyway.
Yeah, okay, that's fair.
That's fair.
So this guy, he liked fighting.
And the reason he was a psychopath is because he actually,
he's the only person I met who actively liked to fight.
Yeah.
It's just a guy who had like a cut on his head.
He'd come back from university and he was like,
and he'd been in a big fight and they were kicking him in the head.
Yeah, he had the pillowcase stuck to his head with blood.
Yeah, the pillowcase stuck to his head with blood.
And they had to help him soak it off in the sink.
Yeah.
And that was troubling to me,
but to him it was like...
Is that the same psychopath?
Yeah.
But one piece of advice he genuinely gave to me once
was that if you're surrounded by people
and you're outnumbered,
you know it's going to go off.
Grab the nearest person you can
and bite them in the throat as hard as you can. Yeah. Because then they'll think you're outnumbered, you know it's going to go off. Grab the nearest person you can and bite them in the throat as hard
as you can. Yeah. Because then they'll think
you're mental and then they won't want to fight you.
And I was like, yeah, but you will be mental if you do that.
Yeah. I mean, you're occupying the thing
that you're pretending to be there. Luke, I mean,
we're talking about people who are mental.
You said that on the last show.
Oh, yeah. I did, didn't I?
Yeah.
I'm loving, I'm loving I'm loving
Loki dad brain
It's very enjoyable
Listen
It was big news actually
In the Luke and Peach
Community people
I'm not sure if you're aware of it
But if you look
At a photograph
That our friend Greg sent us
In the document
That we very generously
Call a running water
He has spotted
A guy
He's not been more
Geographically specific Right Than in the South West London area Yeah He spotted a guy he's not been more geographically specific
than in the
South West London
area
he spotted a
exactly identical
Toyota Century
to yours
parked outside
a cafe
parked outside
a cafe
what are they
having the
whole
where is this
picture
I can't find it
in the runner
it's from Greg
is this Pete
I spotted in
South West London
or is it a
rival Yakuza boss well i am
the leader of the yamaguchi clan um yeah so it's quite disappointing for you to see that isn't it
why is that disappointing because i thought you wanted to be you want to be special you always
want to be unique all your all your decisions are informed by you trying to be a bit of exceptional
you know what i'm looking at that it's a good example of the form it's a good i imagine that
um i imagine that the wing mirror hasn't been abused with what looks like, I think, Glazer's putty that the man in South that you can get a chicken escalope at any time of the day.
And they're always dry and they're always absolutely cooked within an inch of its life.
And it's always a bit brown.
But you could walk into any cafe and order a chicken escalope because they're just always there.
They put them in sandwiches as well.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's nice.
I like it.
Nowhere else do you see that available for purchase, really.
Well, it's just kind of like you get,
like there's just nothing really that fancy.
Like you just have your normal kind of
lamb and mint sauce kind of sandwich filling
and then you've just got a stack of escalopes
for no good reason
and they're just drying out
and they're miserable.
You still buy them?
But you can always get them.
Still buy them.
Do you buy them?
I put them in with my
lamb and mint sauce.
I'm a lamb and mint sauce
sandwich man from that place
for some reason.
What Italian cafe
are you talking about?
Just any,
there's one over the road
from Highbury and
Islington Station
that I sometimes go to,
yeah.
I like to support that
because like,
it's in a really busy area.
There's never anyone in.
Yeah, you've got a Waitrose next door.
You've got a Sainsbury's.
You've got a Pret.
You've got everything.
I'll tell you what,
you've got Benita's,
which is like an independent place
just down the road,
which is very good.
Is that the one with the bread?
I think I bought some homemade
Piccadilly from that.
You may have done.
It's like a family-run place.
They're doing so well.
They're doing so well.
I love to support them. You're doing so well. They're doing so well. I love to support them.
You're doing so well.
I always get my hair cut
in the same place
and it's a little bit more expensive
than anywhere else
but I like the people in there.
It's a nice family run place.
There's a lady
and her husband
and their son
and they run it together
and it's good service.
You're supporting a local business.
I don't mind it.
I prefer that
than going to some generic chain.
Well, you just get
something different, don't you? Because you just than going to some generic chain i've um well you just get something
different don't you because like you just you just get the same thing everywhere these days like
every like everything is the same all of the time and you just i don't know man one of the things
about yeah it's all homogenized now but one of the things some lemon pistachios oh well speaking
of that i found a fucking i found another pistachio shell this morning in the office
how do you know it was me?
It's stank of lemon.
You don't know that.
You didn't lick it.
You didn't detect.
You didn't run a piece of chalk around it like a crime scene. One of those little yellow poster boards.
You're like the wet bandits.
You're calling someone's pistachio shells wherever you go.
The problem is you try and be careful, but they are quite playful, the way they carry themselves with pistachio shells wherever you go. The problem is, you try and be careful, you try and be careful, but they are quite,
they are quite playful
the way they carry themselves
with their pistachios.
I just think that
if someone said to me,
what's it actually like
working with Pete Donaldson?
Pistachios.
That's the answer.
Access to pistachios
any time.
Pistachio shells
wherever you go.
He's always got something
in his bag.
I think there's going to be
a problem with the studio
at one point.
Pistachios.
And we're not going to get
to the bottom of it.
And someone's going to take some kind of panel off something, and in there's just going to be a couple of the studio at one point. Pistachio. And we're not going to get to the bottom of it. And someone's going to take some kind of panel of something,
and in there's just going to be a couple of pistachio shells.
Well, it's like, yeah, the engineer's going to be called in,
and it's like, we're saying, the sound of the podcast,
they all sound pistachio-y.
And he's like, hmm.
Because there was that bloke who brought a computer technician
round to his house, which is risky,
because you could get a punch in the face.
And he was a big guy, the computer technician as well.
And this guy had filled his PC with beans.
And he went, sorry, this computer isn't working.
And so the guy opened up the side of his PC, and it was just full of beans.
It's a nice gag.
It is a nice gag, but I mean, yeah, it's kind of...
Did he film it?
Yeah, of course he did
but the guy was like
someone's put beans in this
quite weird behaviour
it's quite weird behaviour
isn't it
isn't it
yeah it is
it's no different
to some of the
the Ramble Live videos
you've made
yeah
no
no
I've decided no
the only difference is
yours are animated
because you haven't got
the strength to do it
in real life.
Yeah, but I would never bother anyone else.
I'm scared of everyone else,
so I would only use friends, colleagues, or countrymen.
Speaking of friends, colleagues, and countrymen,
should we have a break?
And then when we come back, there's another vasectomy email.
They're coming in.
They're coming in.
They're getting cauterized, and then they're pulling out again.
It's the Luke and Pete Show
with your host, Luke Moore.
He's got an email about a cock.
Is it about a cock?
It's about a cock's friend.
His two testicular friends.
Yeah.
You going to keep this up?
No.
No, I am not.
Okay.
So Ben's been in touch.
And he says, hi, guys.
Long time listening to The Ramble.
But if I only just start on the Luke and Pete show.
So my sincerest apologies for that.
Listen, better late than never, Ben.
You're very welcome here.
He says, imagine my joy getting a few episodes in and there being chat about vasectomies.
Finally, a subject I can contribute to.
I lost my snip plates a couple
of years ago. A few years
after the birth of my second child.
It was a much more pleasant
procedure than I'd imagined. A 20 minute
in and out job that was slightly surreal but wasn't painful
in the slightest. The information about the
tight pants was very helpful but I was given some
extra details about what I had to do
afterwards. I was told that I had to wait a week to 10 days before I started to empty the tubes a minimum of 24 times over the course of the following three months.
Hang on, 24 times?
So how many is that?
How many is that?
Like, that is...
Well, one through three days, isn't it?
Isn't it?
Oh, cutting down everything.
He said, I then had to send a sample in the post so they could determine whether there was any
sperm present in the semen
as my procedure
was towards the end
of November
I joked with the doctor
and nurse
that I might as well
get an advent calendar
and at least get a chocolate
after each time
which actually brought
quite a decent laugh
from them both
always pleasing
it's a very professional
environment
very pleasing
well I tried my testicle
you know remember
when we got Sammy's balls off
and I would say to anyone who would listen,
I sort of said, I might get mine off as a joke.
And 99 times out of 100, people laughed.
Did it in the street last week.
They just looked at me weird.
Too intense, I think.
I was just talking about my balls with people who I don't know.
And what you shouldn't be doing is taking the balls out
before you make the joke.
Well, then they know I'm lying and I'm just showing me balls off.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't worry.
I haven't had them done.
Look.
And then whip them out.
You can't do that.
And then Ben says...
And I've written, it's just a joke on them.
It's just a joke.
Really small font, so they have to look really closely to see it.
Yeah.
Ben says, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a great idea.
So I ended up getting an advent calendar and gave myself a little reward
after every ejaculation.
I highly recommend it for anyone who's going to have the snip.
What I don't recommend, though, is going to a football game two days after.
As a Watford fan, I thought I'd be safe from having to jump up and down too much
as it was a May night coming to town.
Fast forward to the end of the game.
We'd won 4-1. we'd have retaken penalty in among
that, and it turned out to be one of the only exciting games of an otherwise dull season
that culminated in relegation.
Keep up the cracking work of keeping me entertained in my postie rounds, your dulcet tones genuinely
help me walk in 10 miles a day and make it slightly more bearable.
A lot of posties listen to this show, I think.
Yeah, I like it.
But Advent Canada per wank, interested or nah?
Wash your hands first, I would say.
Yeah, I'd say so.
Yeah, because, yeah.
White chocolate only?
That kind of fit with the theme, I suppose.
I mean, the way that you sort of have to sort of pump and dump, so to speak,
to kind of get your pipes cleaned of any, like 24 times.
It seems like a very specific number.
How do you come up with that number?
Yeah, and like 25 too much.
23, not enough.
It just seems...
What, you've only had 23 wanks?
Well, good luck.
Drop trow.
Good luck.
Drop trow right now.
But yeah, it's like an oil change a little bit, isn't it?
A little bit, yeah.
It's a little bit like getting under there and changing the oil.
But you don't get a video like you and changing the oil but you don't get
a video like you
do at Aldi
you don't get a
video like you
do at Aldi
well if you do
it's up to you
don't send it
around
David Rowlands
there's an email
here from David
he says hi Luke
and Peter
first time emailer
although I did
email into the
ramble before
to give Pete
some jip
and he got me
entered into the
Dean Wynne
that's hall of fame
it's good stuff
after the discussion
about the barber
photos on the
last ep that's when I talked about how a friend of. After the discussion about the barber photos on the last ep,
that's when I talked about how a friend of mine was a model
and he signed away all his rights to a barbershop photo
and they're in every barbershop and he sees them all the time.
I drove past the barbershop down the road
and I took the picture of the picture that was very famous in our household.
That guy there, it's that fellow there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I reckon I know him.
He's very sort of like 80s look to him.
Yeah, I think so
well look this email
is on the same theme
he said
David says
look
I thought I'd direct you
to a story about
the US office
and Inglourious Bastards
star BJ Novak
yes
in short
Novak now has his picture
on random products
all over the world
due to it being available
on a public domain
website
and he shows the link and you can see available on a public domain website and he shows the um link and you
can see him on um the range of the range of electric razors uruguayan uh face paint just
and he's got pj novak's face and he's got the flag of uruguay so annoying he's also a poncho
in los angeles apparently he plays ryan in the office doesn't he, if you guys know that show. Yeah, he used to go out with, not Kimmy Schmidt.
God, I watch this show
every fucking night.
But yeah, he's Ryan in The Office.
He's the one who comes back
in a more senior position
and they don't respect him, right?
He becomes a sort of prodigy
in corporate.
That's right.
And then he gets fired
for defrauding the company.
And then he comes back after working at Balling All right. And then he gets fired for defrauding the company. And then he comes back
after working at Balling Alley.
And then he launches
an app called Woof.
And then,
what else does he do?
He does loads of stuff.
Don't tell people
the whole plot of the series, Pete.
Why?
You're terrible for this.
It's like Game of Thrones
all over again.
It's 2013.
It's like 10 years ago,
for crying out loud.
If you don't watch The Office.
People might like to watch it
without getting like a...
Michael Scott dies.
Michael Scott dies.
Bye.
He's like Game of Thrones
all over again.
It was a good one last night.
It was when
when the next set of bosses
start getting introduced
which I quite like.
I do like the bosses
after Michael Scott.
I'm quite rare in that.
Yeah.
Will Ferrell.
When Will Ferrell gets introduced.
Will Ferrell's not really making anything worse, is he? No, but
I think people were so into Michael
Scott, there were very few people.
And they didn't do a lot of stunt
casting, but Will
Ferrell, that could have been terrible.
But it's quite funny because he's
he had an eating disorder
and he had a bash on the head
and he went mad.
There you go again.
What?
Stop telling everyone.
You're pathological with this.
Stop telling everyone everything that happens in TV shows.
The best ever, the thing that cracks me up of Will Ferrell more than anything else is that outtake reel of him.
I forget what film it is now, but it's with two racing drivers.
And he's standing between them going going I feel it in my plums
that one
it's so fucking funny
it's always so funny
why is it Tommy Speed
or something
I can't remember now
it was Speedway
not Speedway
it was
Talladega Nights
Talladega Nights
there you go
good stuff
and there's also
one of the other videos
I always return to
time and time again
is there was like
a limited series
called Off Script
and it was sponsored
by Grey Goose Vodka on YouTube.
And one of the episodes is presented by Jamie Foxx
and his guest is Denzel Washington.
Right.
It's just fucking amazing.
It's just so fucking funny the whole time.
Jamie Foxx is doing Denzel Washington impressions.
And Jamie Foxx says that before he was famous,
he saw Denzel Washington,
who of course was massively famous at the time,
and ran up to him because he loved
him so much, and grabbed him.
Apparently he maintains that Denzel
Washington is like a kung fu on him to fucking
get him off him.
Isn't it really embarrassing?
And Denzel Washington's like, yeah, I remember that.
I know a little bit.
You know.
Anyway, Dave finishes
the email by saying, saying also I once met you
both outside Wembley
when Sunderland
lost to Manchester City
I think that was
probably in the League Cup
final
a number of years ago
I told Luke
he was my favourite
and I told Pete
that I hated him
and it's haunted me
ever since
I don't hate you Pete
you just say mean things
about Sunderland sometimes
I might have to
bray you a little bit
to get back at you
peace
watch out mate
I've already put the
kung fu on you
don't worry about it
yeah exactly
come at me
you best not miss
because you did miss
because you ran
ran away
if he just came up to you
and hated you
and ran off
is he won there
I think
anyone who comes up to me
and says anything to me
is not going to get
any physical violence
because I'm very small
and scared of everything
and also
if he even tried some physical violence he'd win because I find very small and scared of everything. And also, if he even tried some physical violence,
he'd win because I find the technicals of fighting
very difficult.
Every time you see a fight...
I don't want it enough.
No, what do you mean?
Fighting is the ultimate competition.
You've really got to want it, haven't you?
You've really got to want to have a fight.
If you defend... I don't think
the defending yourself
law should exist because if you're defending yourself
truly, you don't want the fight so you shouldn't be able to win.
I don't think so.
It's like that famous Special Forces guy
in one of those interviews and he says
the best, most potent weapon you've got
in a fight is your feet.
Use them to turn around and run away as fast as you can.
Because nothing good can come out of fighting in the street
with someone you don't know.
Yeah, but he's a hard knock.
Yeah, but he says that.
He says, people expect me as a special forces guy
to get some kind of death grip out, put someone on the floor.
But I don't, as a special forces guy,
I don't like to go into situations where I've got no control.
Yeah, but like, you've got, yeah, but like, yeah, but
your girl's watching.
The only thing about that clip
of that guy better,
do you know what, the only thing about that clip of that guy saying that better
because it's done with this amazing music and he looks really hard
and he's got his beard and stuff. It's just some
like, beta cut guy
to walk up to him and just really
badly punch him in the face.
Yeah, give him a backhander.
Yeah.
But, you know, most fights in real life, when you see them,
they last about 10 seconds and they are embarrassingly bad.
You see, like, even, like, there's this underground fighting network
where they're just blokes who'll have a scrap in the street
and they film it like it's the UFC or something.
And these lads, they're in the business
of fighting
and I think you see
one punch gets connected
and one eye goes up
like a fucking
like you wouldn't believe
and then it's like
oh I feel sleepy now
because most fights
nobody ever connects
with punches
do you remember
the Kimbo Slice videos
I remember Kimbo Slice
yeah the late great
he got his arse
handed to him in UFC
didn't he
it's weird
street fighting
is quite
fighting people
in random backyards
for a couple of grand
he was
frightening
yes
yeah
one fight in UFC
against a retired policeman
he's getting whooped
less frightened
that's the level
funny isn't it
that is the level
why is that
because you know why
because those big guys
they gas bad
yeah it's knackering
fighting it is tiring
there was an amazing
incident where um there's
a guy called Bernard
Hopkins he's an amazing
boxer right and he's got
the I think the world
record for the oldest
world title holder as a
boxer right oldest world
champion he was 46 we
won the belt right which
is ridiculous given
how competitive boxing is and uh all the way in the build-up to the fight he's fighting this guy
i think he's early mid-30s and the entire build-up of the fight um the guy was saying you're too old
you can't stick with me i'm a younger man you're over the hill granddad get out you get beyond
forget it kind of thing and uh not did Bernard Hopkins win and won the title
after the seventh round
when they're knackered
and they go and sit in the corner
and have their corners
talk to them
and put Vaseline on them
he just stays in the middle of the ring
doing press ups
in between the round
and then gets up straight away
and keeps fighting him
and he beat him
absolute flex
it's a flex
like that yeah he's a absolute flex. It's a flex.
I like that.
Yeah, he's a big bad boy.
Nasty bastard.
Big nasty bastard.
You've got to be.
Right, on that note, Peter,
I can see the clock ticking over and I think we should get out of here.
Thank you very much
if you emailed
and then we read it out.
Thank you very much
if you emailed
and then we didn't read it out.
We may get to it
at some point soon.
We will be back on Thursday.
You will know us
by the trail of pistachio shells.
And we will see you next time.
Say goodbye, Peter.
That's goodbye from me. Don't forget
hello at LukeandPeteShow.com for your emails.
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and at TheLukeandPeteShow for the TikTok.
Lots of extra content on there. Lots of stuff
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So if that's your thing, get yourself over there.
If not, no worries.
We'll call it quits and we'll see you next time.
I got a grape for us.
You've got four grapes in his mouth.
It looks great after you.
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