The Luke and Pete Show - Just sexy enough for Haribo
Episode Date: June 8, 2023Today Pete is joined by quite the guest. Not only does he appear in Stath Lets Flats and a Haribo advert where he plays a policeman with a child’s voice, but he ALSO hosts the breakfast show on Brit...ain’s third-most talked about sports radio station. It’s Mark Davison aka Ian Fiveankles aka Colin from Portsmouth!Mark gives Pete a small insight into what it is like to be Ian Fiveankles and Pete gives Mark a small insight into what it is like to be Pete Donaldson. In other words, he tells him all about how he's spent the week learning to become a broadband engineer. Obviously…Follow Exploding Heads Here. Listen to Sports Horn Here. Follow Ian Fiveankles Here.Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hello and welcome to the Luke and Pete show. Oh, hang on, hang on. Sorry, mate.
I've not got me. Is that it? Is it finished? It's done. It's done now. Oh, dear.
Welcome to the Luke and Pete show.
My name is Pete Donaldson.
Luke's still away, so we've got another excellent guest
by the name of Mark Davison from Exploding Heads,
from the Stack Podcast Sports Horn.
He's the man who plays Ian Five Ancles.
Ian Five Ancles.
Ian Five Ancles.
And Colin from Portsmouth, you will have heard on socials
at some point.
Mark, how are you doing, my friend?
I'm good. Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure and a treat to be here.
That's all right. So probably worth telling people once again what Sportshorn is.
It's something we spoke about when Anthony was on the show.
But basically, it's a big old parody of talk sport that goes in some very strange direction sometimes here and there.
Yeah, yeah.
It's Britain's third most talked about sport radio station.
And, yeah, it apes all the things worth aping about talk radio,
talk sport radio specifically.
Yeah.
But we do it with a fairly straight face.
So I think the effect is fairly surreal in that if you casually listen,
you might think it's really talk sport.
And then you realize that I'm being sexually assaulted by an Alsatian.
Oh, hold on there.
This is too extreme even for talk sport.
I don't know, man.
But I think I'm currently editing a show that will go out,
that will be out this week called battle cycles which is basically
the ex-premier league I'm going to say jobbing midfielder Ian Five Ancles has come up with a
new idea for a rather combative version of velodrome cycling yeah yeah which is not that
far removed from actual footage that you can find on youtube
i mean if if you've thought of a new sport then do check it because it possibly already exists
yeah and and i saw when i was trying to find velodrome sound effects online um i um i've i've
found this thing where i don't watch a lot of cycling uh mark and why not it's really exciting
it's so boring but like there was this one where the cyclists have to stay on it has to be i think
it's like the slowest lap ever so they basically stay on their bikes yeah i think it's a little bit
of a joke to get the crowd on side because as we've said cycling is boring um but like they're
on their bikes and they're trying not to go over the start line or the finish line.
They're trying to be as slow as possible.
So they're just kind of balancing and bouncing on their wheels and stuff.
And I just think these are precision instruments and they're bouncing around on them to make the crowd laugh.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not right.
It's probably quite hard.
It's probably quite a skill to it, but it's pointless you never forget how to write a bag so mark um tell us a little bit about how
you kind of got started with exploding heads and um if if you're kind of unfamiliar with the voice
you'll definitely have seen him if you're living in the uk uh on many uh comedy shows from stafflet
slats to uh the excellent advert for haribor uh that uh that you that you play a policeman with a child's voice.
Yes, I get recognised in the street for that one, especially by little kids.
And they're really disappointed when I speak because I don't have the voice of a four-year-old Welsh girl,
which is how I'm dubbed by a four-year-old Welsh girl in that advert.
That advert's been on for a long time. It's now in its fourth year.
That's wild. It seems That advert's been on for a long time. It's now in its fourth year. That's wild.
It seems like it's been longer.
One of the previous guests of the Luke and Pete show recently
has been the partner I have access to, Sarah Champion.
She was on the show a few weeks ago.
And she went, and you know all this, Mark,
because I've talked about it before with you.
But Sarah went for an audition. She does the odd advert and a bit of telly every now and again but she uh went for the advert uh audition um she got through a couple of rounds
of it but then they discarded her because she was too sexy for haribo mark how does it feel to be
just sexy enough for haribo uh wow i didn't know that particular story so yeah i'm just sexy enough for haribos uh wow i didn't know that particular story so yeah i'm just sexy enough
i mean the fact that they're casting for a new one probably means my days are numbered then
oh that was a lot it was a long time i think it was the same round i think it's about four years
ago so you know oh okay i think there's a cinema scene i think i mean you you develop a thick skin
as an actor my agent finds this hilarious now,
but he regularly sends me character breakdowns that say,
in capitals, this really happened,
in capital letters underlined,
must not be very attractive.
Yeah, Mark, here's one for you.
It's like, yeah, okay.
Thanks, mate.
Is there a section, Box of Rusty Spanners,
Bag of Rusty Spanners on the website, yeah? Well, there's a box of rusty spanners, a bag of rusty spanners on the website?
Well, there's a kind of casting type dad who's let himself go,
and I fit that quite nicely.
You let yourself go.
You have a nice shirt.
You always wear nice shirts.
That's one of your things.
I mean, I have started to get fit and run and kind of lose weight,
and my agent's genuinely worried.
It's like, yeah, don't, you know,
you've cornered the market as dad who's let himself go.
Don't be trim and thin and weird.
Is Ed Gamble as funny now as he was
when he was like 18, 19 is the question.
No, he'd probably say himself.
Yeah, I remember sort of going to an audition for ITV2
to be the continuity voiceover,
a job that I actually got.
But in the audition,
the man said,
basically, Pete,
we need someone
who sounds a bit stupid.
Oh, my word.
And I am not proud enough
not to take their delicious money.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I've been in wardrobe fittings
where I've got a panel of 30
kind of ad execs and clients
discussing me like I'm a piece of meat.
I think he looks fat in that.
Oh, he looks fucking awful.
Hands up, who thinks he looks really shit in that outfit?
I'm right here, guys.
Oh, no.
Well, look, there'll be none of that here, you handsome man,
with a fine array of books behind you.
So, I mean, you're obviously not familiar with The Little Peach Show,
but it's basically just we turn up,
we talk about things we've done in the week,
new stories we've seen in the news,
and basically films and video games we've played.
What have you been up to this week, Mark?
What have I been up to?
I've been on the treadmill of writing Sports Horn.
I mean, we love it, but it is an unforgiving timeline.
Like we pushed out one a week since September
and yeah, there's no time to rest.
Well, do you remember when like comedy shows
on the television, like Fist of Fun
and I mean, not Fist of Fun,
but like This Morning with Richard, Not Judy,
they did a topical, not so topical, but they wrote a comedy show,
45-minute comedy show every single week.
And they had teams and teams of people who would be helping them out
and writing scripts and stuff like that.
SNL.
I mean, Sports On, you bash out half an hour of comedy on Sports On,
that you can listen to now, wherever you get your podcasts,
and you do it every single week and
it's a new one every time and it's
all new every time. I don't know how you do it Mark
Well I don't, it's mostly
Anthony
I mean that is the honest truth
he is far more prolific than I
am and in fact having said I've
spent this week slaving away over a Sports On
script that's a complete lie lie Anthony's doing the next two
I kind of
contribute and fine tune
and there are some scripts that I have written but
if you look at the ratio
I think it's probably two thirds to a third
in Anthony's favour
You've written ones where you're not confident about them
and they're absolutely great but you're just not confident
about them and that's... I'm but you're just not confident about them.
I'm a delicate little flower and Anthony is a beast.
He's a machine.
He don't take no shit from anybody.
Whereas if anyone reads a script and goes,
hmm, then that's it.
Right, I give up, I give up.
That's me done.
I'm leaving.
Oh, well, never mind.
But we are coming to the end of the first season of Sports Horn. What kind of, I'm going to say, character developmental journey has Ian Fivehankles gone through? He split with his wife before the start of the season. He spent most of his time on the show trying to get back with Denise. And now he's found a new love in Peggy from Budapest.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think Ian is not someone who knows himself very well.
He is struggling with self-knowledge and self-awareness.
And there's a hell of a twist coming up with the Peggy romantic storyline.
I mean, we try and try to find line between character arc
and and narrative through line but we don't want to alienate the casual listener so
it's a bit simpsons-esque in that ian kind of resets every week so does anthony you know if
anthony has any progress with his unrequited crush kitty Spink, we sort of ignore it the next week
because someone coming in new would think,
oh, what's going on?
I mean, there is a denouement coming
for the end of season one,
but then I think for the start of season two,
we'll just forget all that stuff again.
So if you've never listened to Sports Horn,
you can listen to whatever episode you like to be honest
i mean the the only times we've kind of fallen foul of uh of recent events is literally stuff
like the queen dying which we saw fish coming but we couldn't have we couldn't have kind of
known that and you know and diego maradona passing on, Messi winning the World Cup. So there was a couple of sort of hasty rewrites,
but only like week to week, really.
Yeah, nothing major.
I mean, we're not really overly topical.
We just generally reflect what's going on in the world of sport and sport radio
and then try and kind of scatter some human stories
behind these idiots, Anthony and Ian.
I mean, Anthony's unfortunate in that he hasn't got a character name,
so you have to be a bit careful when calling Anthony an idiot
because he's not one in real life, obviously,
but his character is an absolute berk.
Well, I mean, I did see him popping around the house
of a celebrity stand-up, getting his face painted on Twitter.
Yeah, well, by Yeah, well, he's
by his own admission, he's like an F-list
celebrity in South Africa because
his day job is presenting a game show
channel. So,
and I think it's funded by
a South African production company. So if he ever
goes there, he will be mobbed a bit.
It's like when I used
to work on a breakfast show
with Alex Zane,
who does our Clash of the Titles podcast.
Also, if you want to film a podcast, listen to that.
It's very good.
And he used to do a show on MTV, which was very, like, opt-in for the UK, wasn't it?
I mean, opt-in for England, anyway.
We were very, like, you had to have a skybox, and it was like MTV Europe,
and they'd have little London programmes
here and there.
But over in Ireland,
over in Dublin,
MTV was like terrestrial.
It was like the 56th channel.
So he was mobbed everywhere he went.
It was incredible.
I only ever get recognised,
apart from Haribo,
I get recognised as Ian Five Ancles,
my biggest claim to fame. And Anthony will groan if he's listening because i tell this story all the time i got
recognized on the metro and on the subway rather in new york nice this guy just pointed went is it
you which is a hell of a weird question what am i supposed to say to that just as the door show
it is you it's even five ankles brilliant the door shut on the went, it is you, it's Ian Five Ankles. Brilliant. So as the door shut, on the inside,
I went,
Ian Five Ankles.
Lovely stuff.
I remember a guy in,
my only one was,
again,
Los Angeles,
America,
a policeman about 10 years ago,
came up and went,
it was an LA Galaxy match,
and a policeman came up and went,
no Jordies allowed.
And I was like,
not a Jordie,
and I grabbed his gun and ran off. Shot him in the face. over and went, no Jordies allowed. And I was like, not a Jordie, and I grabbed his gun and ran off.
He shot him in the face.
But he was an interesting chap.
But yeah, short of the show,
we basically talk about what we've been doing in the week.
What I've been doing this week, Mark, today, I have been dealing with network,
BT network cables and wires.
Fun, fun, fun.
The guy turned up a couple of days ago
with his network of wires and fibre optic cables
and interesting boxes that light up.
And as soon as my partner sees
how many more boxes of light up,
soundy, loud, hot things I've put in the spare bedroom,
she's going to be annoyed.
But there's just a lot of like watching my call-its and whizzy wigs and all kinds of stuff kind of bleeping away,
getting the internet from the outside of the house to the inside of the house.
And the guy turned up, he said, yeah, I mean, we've done our part of it, haven't we?
And basically just delivered the internet into the house.
But me plugging anything into the ethernet port,
nothing's coming out.
And I ring up and they go, well, you know,
we just provide this part of the,
we just provide the wire into the house.
And I'm going, yeah, but like, I'm not an engineer
and you are, and I'm just a one man band.
I don't know how network,
I don't really know what subnet masks are.
I don't really know what gateways are.
But this morning I've had to have a crash course
in network engineering and we're back on top.
You're listening to me.
I'm listening to you.
There is a slight lag that I'm slightly worried about
and may become more evident
as I keep recording these shows.
But yeah, I've become a BT engineer, Mark. slightly worried about and may become more evident as i keep recording these shows uh but uh yeah i
i've become a bt engineer mark so i would like to offer my services if anyone's listening um i can
fit a firewall and fit what stuff happening is going to business channeling illegal uh streams
of the premier league uh from all around the world.
Did you see that news story?
No.
So a business, I can't remember what they called themselves,
but they were offering access to every single Premier League match in the UK for a tenner a month.
Yeah.
And so loads of, like they were millionaires.
They were churning over like multiple millions per year.
Yeah.
And the guy that was headlining the company was raided.
And the video of the police raid is online.
Right.
The police busted his South Greenwich Desres flat.
And he just had a room full of weird techno flashing boxes
that were receiving signals from all around the world.
And then he'd somehow coded it. Clean them up. way that he could stream it illegally down to whoever was paying him a tenner a month.
I mean, Mark, I don't know anyone who has one of those boxes that gets loads of streams.
I wouldn't even know the first way to get one of those boxes.
And I'm going to leave it there.
I think it's not 40 quid yet.
Anyway, wow.
So news stories.
We usually do a couple of news stories.
Have you heard anything good in the news,
what you'd like to talk about, Mark?
A couple of things tickled me.
There's this bloke, I can't even remember his name,
that's how much he hit a chord with me
he's decided
that the potholes in his area are
such a problem that he's turning them
into art
and I use the term loosely
he's like if a pothole
fills with water then he puts a rubber duck
in it if it looks
a bit like rocky because it's
an exposed bit of tarmac then he puts some little rubber duck in it. If it looks a bit like rocky because it's an exposed bit of tarmac,
then he puts some little Lego astronauts in it.
But he's obsessed with it.
He does it every day, and he has an amazing voice.
I'm not doing a direct impression, but he has a very kind of nasally,
nerdy, he's very, very serious, and he uses, he talks about humour.
He talks about humour all the time without showing any
demonstrable understanding of the concept.
I choose to use humour in highlighting this very serious issue.
And I love him.
I mean, he's just a classic British eccentric.
But is that, in this kind of homogenised world,
what we're counting as a British eccentric?
A man in an England cap who puts rubber duckies in holes?
Is that all we get these days?
Has life become that boring?
Well, maybe, yeah.
Maybe we're not as eccentric as we think we are.
I like to think of the UK as a hotbed of eccentricity,
but maybe it isn't.
The really disappointing thing about the story for me
is the way it was presented in the local news,
the London news, put a kind of clown soundtrack underneath it.
It's like, don't tell us this is comedy.
Yes.
It diminishes his eccentricity if you're kind of flag-waving,
this is a funny story.
It's like, no, no, no, I don't think he has any awareness of how funny he
is by accident the fact that he talks incessantly about humor without cracking a smile so he's so
i'm watching the video now and he's basically he's in orpington a place i have um a little bit of
affection for because my ex came from there but he's um basically outside his house
a semi-detached um sort of uh flat house thing and he's uh yeah he's just explaining how can i put
the message across in a humorous way but still make the point that there's a serious issue behind
all of this i think he's putting the cart before the horse when it comes to serious issues he's
he's kind of he's he and what i like about it is he's just filling the um holes with water and
putting rubby duck rubber duckies in it and stuff i don't know he's filling them with water right
oh they're just naturally natural yeah because he's working with what he's got wow oh yeah he's
an artist man how would you if there were potholes in your area and i'm a recent driver so i don't
know whether
this problem's got worse or it's always been like that presumably the roads were actually terrible
back in the day but um what are we looking like like how would you make potholes funny
well i mean rod rod stewart's had a bash at the the potholes isn't he
oh he filled them with like he filled them with sand and stuff, didn't he?
He did them proper.
Yeah, but he got arrested for it, didn't he?
Or he got a warning or something
because he was interfering with what should be civil engineering.
He was probably drunk, to be fair.
You can't do this.
He's too...
Remember his Scottish FA Cup appearance
where he was doing the balls really theatrically
and just being a real terror.
It's surprising that Rod Stewart's a bit of a knob.
I don't think he's a knob.
I think he's brilliant.
I saw him at the Isle of Wight Festival five years ago.
Three costume changes, kicking footballs in the crowd.
That's very much his thing.
But, yeah yeah I mean
if people don't know
this about you Mark but you are
a big fan of some proper
big 80s
bands like
The Cure and
I want to say the Cocktail Twins?
Cocktail Twins are on the list yeah
I put Ride on the list and The Wedding Present
Nice, okay I can see the wedding
present a lot um yeah yeah the cure are my special favorite special favorite birthday band
so you you you i think you've been how many um uh cure gigs have you seen this year
uh none this year because they're touring north amer and the expense was prohibitive. But last year I saw them four times when they were touring Europe.
Yeah, love them.
And they're still churning out new stuff.
They haven't released new stuff,
much to the consternation of Cure fans all over the world,
but they are adding new songs that no one's ever heard before to the set list,
which is remarkable for a band that's over 40 years old.
What a...
And I like how they're just not playing the game
of releasing music.
If you want to hear this new song,
you either buy a boatleg or...
Well, yeah, except he has said...
No, the imminent release of the new album.
Yeah, it'll be out before the end of the year.
And he first said that in 2021,
and we still haven't seen it.
So it's like the stone roses second coming it
it'll be a massive anti-climax when it appears yeah did you ever like um get into like the
bootleg scene back in like the 90s i had loads of like radiohead live just recorded so shoddily
on analog equipment that they'd lumped into a field somewhere yeah Yeah. I used to have some really good Radiohead bootlegs.
They would put really strange covers into their sets.
I've got a recording somewhere of them doing Sunday Bloody Sunday,
the U2 song, and Union City Blue, the Blondie song,
and they absolutely nailed it.
I'd love to hear that.
I'd love to hear the Union City Blues on it.
You get the MTV recordings
and then doing the Carly Simon track
and a couple of others
and you'd occasionally sort of pick up ones
that were in
was there anything on the Iron Long EP?
I can't remember
but yeah
I love the excitement of bootlegs
but when you actually sort of heard them
you're like
I mean this is just
you just hear a man's pocket
I think in the CD era
I mean I've become a vinyl wanker now,
but in the CD era,
I did pick up a couple of Cure bootlegs
and they are unlistenable.
I bought one in New York
and it was,
I can't remember which show they did,
but one of the Letterman or something like that.
And they did a Doors cover,
Hello, I Love You.
And if it didn't say that on the back of the CD,
you wouldn't know that's what they were doing.
Not because they were bad
but the recording was like under someone's seat
and you just get them shifting around on their bum
and it's like, why have I bought this?
I was a big fan of Daniel Kitson
sort of comedy bootlegs back in the day
because he just didn't,
he toured when he wanted to,
he toured to a room that he wanted to tour to
and he's got a fan base that dictates that he sells out in about five seconds,
no matter where he plays when he's doing his own stuff.
And he's moved on to not doing quite so much stand-up anymore.
But good God, some of his stuff that you just would never hear anywhere else.
It was never released anywhere else.
Well, he did a whole show about ephemerata, didn't he?
Right.
Do you see that one where he got got like the tape recorders yeah all the
tape recorders and the show only existed for the time he performed it he moved from one tape
recorder to another old analog technology yeah pressing play and pause and stop and whatever
and then at the end of the run he auctioned off individual bits of the technology meaning the show
could not exist anymore.
You could own a tiny part of it, but it wouldn't exist anymore,
which is something really beautiful in that.
Oh, it's amazing. Good stuff.
And the most things we sort of discuss on The Little Pitch Show,
it invariably ends up with me talking about the YouTuber Techmoan
who goes through old analogue hi-fi systems of the 70s
and basically explains why everything's shit
nowadays yeah because nowadays like you buy um if you buy like a cassette recorder or a tape player
or whatever it's always the same mechanism inside it's always the same cheap chinese mechanism
that's being used in every other product on the market and you can't really get proper
audiophile-grade
kind of cassette players and recorders
unless you want to spend thousands and thousands of pounds.
Yeah.
No, shit, modern life's rubbish.
I'm obsessed with this man,
and I've mentioned him a couple of times before,
and I'll mention him again, goddammit,
because I want your take on it.
A man who, in Japan, who is such an audiophile,
such a vinyl head,
that he not only had the you know a
world um uh class um sound system in his house in his two-bedroom apartment in in shibuya tokyo
he also um spent 30 grand making his own electricity pylon to sit in his garden because
he wanted clean electricity he didn't want dirty electricity that had been
provided by you know that everybody else was getting their hooks into he wanted clean
pylon grid electricity because he said it would affect the uh the listening experience
does does he claim to be able to tell the difference between
parity electricity and clean electricity wow i almost, I almost, he looks like he,
his hearing isn't great.
So I would question,
I think it's very much the whole,
you know,
I think it's very much,
yeah,
it's a bit silly,
I think.
I mean,
I'm all for spending a fortune on audio equipment.
My wife is of a different opinion.
That's, that's what we have this kind of
mid-grade system which is good enough but i'm always wanting to upgrade and she's always like
no no we don't have the space for it or the have you ever have you ever got those um kind of like
high grade uh they they use like porcelain little kind of like circles that you put on the floor
and you have and you if you've spent like thousands of pounds on your speaker cable,
your gold-tipped speaker cable and all that stuff.
You put it on these little kind of porcelain stands
and it's supposed to help the sound to flow better.
Yeah, you put a little bit of milk in
and the gold laps up.
It's so silly. But it's just blocks, just blocks in it it's just blocks being stupid you never catch never catch you ever go no i'm a real i'm a real maniac
for these um tungsten tip uh um platinum um speaker cables just got more sense just got
more sense we are absolute superstitious idiots.
Right. I'm going to take a short break.
You're going to take a short break. The listeners are going to take a short break.
Mark, we'll be back with some
battery brands, because that's what we do
every Thursday.
We're back with the
Luke and Pete show on Thursday, the
8th of June. I'm Pete Donaldson, joined by Mark Davison
from Exploding Heads and our excellent podcast.
Spot that excellent podcast. Mark Davison.
Excellent podcast. Sports Horn,
listen to it for crying out loud.
For fuck's sake, listen to Sports Horn.
For fuck's sake, listen to Sports Horn.
If you are not familiar, Mark,
and you're not, with this part of the show,
on a Thursday, we basically get people to send in pictures
of batteries.
Okay. Inexplicably, one of our biggest shows,
Luca Picciola on Stack.
Don't know how it's happened, but it's happened.
Basically, if you are in a hotel
and you see an air conditioning remote control,
you open it up, you take a picture,
and you send it to the Luca Picciola,
hello at lucapicciola.com,
and we basically refer to the lists of previous uh entries into the
battery hall of fame and we find out whether it's a new player or not uh chris has come in
with a rechargeable double a um my submissions uniros uh rechargeable double a battery uh and
he and we're um it it has unfortunately been, been submitted once before
and a different type of battery, Tom in May 2022.
Una Ross, unfortunately, Chris, is not a new player,
but thank you very much for also sending in a picture
of a 1999 Dreamcast Japanese VMU.
Do you remember the VMU, Mark?
I do, yeah.
The visual memory unit.
Were you a big Dreamcast guy back in the day?
No, no.
I had to abandon all gaming.
I would have needed to become a member of Gamers Anonymous.
What was the game that you spent too much time on?
Pro Evolution Soccer.
From the very first incarnation, i got up to about number seven
and yeah i realized i had a problem when i took sandwich town fc full of avatars including me up
front and it really looked like me i took them from non-league to champions league glory it took
about 17 seasons and i realized i'd done absolutely no work for that year good stuff it's like yeah i
need to not do this anymore.
I need to not do this anymore.
I'm glad you managed to cut yourself off.
And obviously Sports Hall had an episode a couple of weeks ago
called Pro-Darwar Soccer that was basically,
you know, it's a rip-off of Brailleville, basically.
It was heavily inspired by those years playing that game.
And what we hope to do, I hope this isn't any spoilers,
but what we hope to do i hope this isn't any spoilers uh but what we hope to do is dip back
into that world basically the pro darwo game had a life of its own and even though we hadn't played
it for 20 years this is all in the fiction of sports on even though we hadn't played it for 20
years the players had carried on living in kind of pretty atrocious circumstances kind of like a
footballing zombie apocalypse so what we hope to do is fire up the game in season two
and see how much it's degenerated.
The Last of Us Part 2.
Christopher has come in with a battery.
Hello, the Luke and the Pete.
While clearing out my parents' house for their eventual move in a few months' time,
I've been designated the role of all things electrical and audiovisual.
This means, you've guessed it,
a rich seam of batteries from various electronics and remotes.
I hope these are new additions to the battery library.
East Power.
All the best, Christopher.
Christopher's come in with East Power.
And we've got a picture of a rather dirty battery compartment.
Yes, I'm looking at it. Dirty.
And the batteries look like they may have seen better days uh and also i'm
very sad to announce uh mark that it's not a new player it's not going in our battery suitcase of
new players it's been submitted no less than seven times before so unlucky chris we have been going
for quite a while nearly four years you need to listen back for three or four years before you
submit yeah exactly we i mean we could have given them a little bit of help by putting them on a You need to listen back for three or four years before you submit. Yeah, exactly.
I mean, we could have given them a little bit of help by putting them on a website somewhere, but that's not happening.
We've had three producers, and before that,
we didn't have any producers, for crying out loud.
Alan, hello, the Luke and Pete,
opened up a cheap Chinese blood pressure monitor today
and was delighted to find some unfamiliar double A's.
I like that detail.
It's nice, it's good, isn't it?
And was delighted to find some unfamiliar double A's looking back at me.
Now, they probably are up for some sort of debate.
The batteries are probably some kind of...
The batteries are probably NX Ready Extreme,
or could be N Ready Extreme or NX Ready Trem,
because the graphic design isn't exactly clear enough.
What do you think that is? I'd go with NX Ready Trem, because the graphic design isn't exactly clear enough. What do you think that is?
I'd go with NX Ready Xtrem.
It's sort of the Xtrem, which is kind of Cantona,
the taste supreme, isn't it?
Yeah, exactly.
It's sort of superimposed.
I'd say N Ready Xtrem.
Oh, right, so the X has just kind of like just been slapped,
slapdash over the top of it.
Slapped willy-nilly over the top.
I don't know.
It could go a number of ways.
Yeah.
I won't be listening to the show anyway, Xtreme.
Like some of the listeners,
I usually serve your dulcet tones for the gym.
Can you imagine?
You're a runner now, Mark, with your legs.
Do you listen to anything podcasty?
Or do you listen to music?
Can you listen to podcasts? It has to be music, hasn't it?
Yeah, I can't do podcasts because I find I stop running and rewind if I've missed a bit
or if a bit's particularly funny or interesting and that's terrible for running.
And although I'm a muso and I'm very snobbish in my music taste
and I don't generally listen to techno,
I find it's brilliant to run to.
Something with just a monotonous pounding beat
is shit to listen to.
In a way, I'm sort of running away from the awful sounds in my ears.
What brands do you usually go for?
Do you just type into Spotify, techno, please?
Well, no, no, type into spotify techno please um well no no uh because i'm i don't want to skew the algorithms
too much on the right the sound so yeah having said i don't like techno i i do quite like techno
so uh i've got i've over mono is the latest one i'm listening to right which is very good two
thumbs up from mark the um you are when you type
into something into like spotify or youtube or anything really like i am aware that that will
skew my algorithm a bit and i bought a car recently and i uh was googling what these cars are about
what then what they usually what usually happens to them after a few years etc how much is going to cost me and stuff and so all of my youtube algorithm has finished with um 1970s um tech reviews and now it's very
much into men who flip cars and it's it's a little bit like you know those you know those
like men who flip cars well like not as in like flip them over like as in they buy them
ah clean them up a bit right flip them turn them turn them out and uh get them get
them sold for like 200 quid on the dollar or other um and and but it's but it is you i would
criticize like quite childish youtube where it's like um people opening like surprise boxes and
stuff have you seen these at youtube you just have like open up like surprise stuff and they go hey
this is what we got you know i've got a lot of football shirts let's see what we got or children opening
like kinder surprise toys
and stuff like that
gachapon machines and stuff
and I do sort of
look down my nose at that
but it's exactly
the same thing
it's just men
opening a boot
and going
lot of leaves in there
aren't there
and I'm going
ooh leaves
good good good leaves
ooh there's water in the boot
there must be some
water ingress somewhere
so yeah
it's exactly the same as really childish YouTube.
Just people opening boxes.
Someone on my Twitter timeline tweeted,
I've just sorted out the roof and I'm thinking of opening a Scott Leed museum.
And he did it as a kind of, oh, what's the point in keeping all these?
And I did find myself thinking, oh, wouldn't mind having a look at that.
Yeah, a little collection of scart leads.
But just scart leads.
Really chunky scart leads
with a big chunky end on them.
Well, we're going to have to wrap up the show.
We've not revealed
and we've kept Alan NX-Trem ready waiting.
It is a new player, Alan.
Probably because you can't find
the different variations of N-Ready Xtreme or N-Ready Xtreme or N-Ready Trem.
So well done, sir.
Well done, Alan.
And if you've got a bit of battery action that you found in a bit of consumer electronic car, just email hello at lukepitcher.com.
Mark, thank you
very much for
joining us
thank you for
having me it's
been glorious
loved it
it hasn't been
glorious the
listeners know
that you know
that I know
that so let's
not kid ourselves
alright
it's been
passable and
that's all we
can hope for
do drop us a
message on email
as I said
hello at
lucanpeachhaw.com
and also if you want to check us out on socials we're on Instagram TikTok I said hello at lookingpeachyore.com and also if you want to check us out
on socials we're on Instagram
TikTok I believe and also
Twitter. Mark where can people find
you? So my
Twitter handle is I am the monkey
but I mean don't follow
me follow the exploding heads which is
exploding heads. Busier
busier tweet. Ian
Five Angles
Ian Five Angles Five Ankles
Five Ankles
Ian Five Ankles
does have his own
Twitter account as well
yeah
you can follow me there
right
lovely stuff
well we'll be back
on Monday
for more Luke and Pete
show fun
but in the meantime
all I can say is
thank you Mark Davison
thank you
thank you for having me
and it's goodbye from me
bye bye Thank you. Thank you for having me. And it's goodbye from me. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production
and part of the ACAST Creator Network.