The Luke and Pete Show - Portsmouth Chainsaw Juggler

Episode Date: February 15, 2024

Should Luke and Pete start a travelling magic act? They contemplate the idea on today’s show after Luke admits a magician recently impressed him with a magic trick.Luke insists he can bring juggling to the show, although we’re yet to see the proof. We’re also waiting to discover what Pete is going to bring. Maybe his fart machine? Want to get in touch with the show? Email: [e-mail] or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hungry for some more it's the luke and pete shaw pete dollison and luke mill with you um luke you're fresh from uh doing a ramble react with andy brussell and you just announced before um the start of the luke and pete show that you're ready to get torn into me because you are famished so last night i did a Ramble Reacts with Andy after the Crystal Palace Chelsea game in the Premier League. I outed Andy as my secret lover. I called him a two-bit Sean Derry lookalike. And I tried my very, very best to make it as difficult a recording as possible for him.

Because to be perfectly honest, he knows too much about football. I need to challenge him in some way. Because if I just fire facts at him or ask him opinion on football matters he's not going to find it tough no and as we all know by now peter broadcasting should be a challenge yeah it's and you make it sound like a challenge every day if you don't mind me saying i do that's kind of my um stock and trade really one would suggest but i would say that with andy um there's not i don't think there's many things you can throw at andy and him find himself unruffled i mean sorry ruffled i don't think you could ever ruffle uh andy i think you could sort of ask him anything about politics

about the world and he would find some way to get an answer out without sounding like an absolute idiot even if he had no grounding in it. He's like me, but without the idiot bit. Well, you remember stuff at least. At least you remember stuff. I mean, like your brain is absolutely perfect for remembering facts, phrases and bits and bobs. I think in comparison to you, that's possibly the case. That is true, yeah.

But I think in the wider world, it's probably quite average. I did it again on the show this this morning i did a resume record yesterday i did a broad japan record at admittedly 6 30 in the morning for me which is which is which is early but for any podcaster um to say you've got to get that out of the show is early given that we've gone into podcasting to not have a proper job yeah i mean 6, the chickens have come home to roost there because you actually end up earlier than you would be in a proper job. Exactly. So at one point during resume, I just stopped, reset,

and I said, what was I going to say again? And I think we always knew this is where I was going to end up. But usually I would have the confidence to just launch into a sentence, not really using the correct words or terminology, moving backwards in the sentence, moving forwards in the sentence, trying to find my way out of an anecdote or a phrase.

And yeah, this time around, I just stopped. I said, what was I going to say again? And then did the exact same thing I was going to do anyway, launched into a sentence. But it just took me a bit more time and this is where it begins for me this is this is me getting even worse at 42 my brain is my brain is definitely slowing down

i mix up names a lot more than i used to i i've never bothered learning them in the first place if i meet you for the first time if i meet you for the second time if i meet you for the third time if you've not said your name three times in that hour that I've spent with you, I'm not remembering it. I'm never remembering it. Do you know what I like to do? I like to, this is high risk

and you'll cringe at this. I like to, when I get introduced to say, a group of say three or four people, and I say, I'm Luke, nice to meet you, nice to meet you, nice to meet you. In my mind, I'm really trying hard consciously to remember their name. Right. And then what i like to do maybe 15 20 minutes later and dress them in your mind oh right okay what did you say and dress them in your mind no i like to use their name right it's such a

high-risk strategy i find it exhilarating yeah i mean that is and but you can tell because i've like interviewed classy people usually from like holly, who will know, who will get told your name and they will repeat your name back at you. Wolverine does it quite a lot. What's his name? Wolverine, man. Can't remember his name. What's his name? Aussie.

Hugh Jackman. Hugh Jackman. He will repeat your name back at you every sentence. You've heard the story about people being good with names and you can't even remember his name in an anecdote. And he's not on his dot-do-see-it-do. He's from Australia. All right.

He's from Australia. But he will use your name quite a lot. And it's a classy move. But after he's done it the fifth or sixth time, you are a bit like, all right, mate. All right, mate. You're all right, George Bush. But you know why he's doing that? He's doing that to – he's actually it the fifth or sixth time, you are a bit like, all right, mate. All right, mate. You're all right, George Bush. But you know why he's doing that?

He's doing that to, he's actually doing that for two reasons. One, to make you feel special, of course. And I've seen Harry Redknapp do that. Ex-football manager Harry Redknapp does that to journalists all the time. That's why they love him. Is that why he's loved by them? What he's also doing there is he's reinforcing in his own mind the memory of your name.

Yes, okay. So he keeps saying it, which means he's much more his own mind the memory of your name. Yes, okay. So he keeps saying it, which means he's much more likely to remember it. So later on in the interview or the event or whatever, he's far less likely to forget it, which means he's less likely to be in a socially awkward position. I think something you could probably learn from people is you could start using people's names more.

Hugh, feel free to forget my name. You're never going to use it. No. Have you seen him since? No. Waste of time for him then, isn't it? Waste of time. I did about, yeah, I've done about two or three interviews with him.

Told the same stories. Did he remember you or not? No, of course he didn't. Why would you? Why would you? The only person who's ever remembered me after our fourth interview is Billy Corgan. Oh, because of wrestling? Hey, Pete. No, maybe. me after our fourth interview is billy corgan oh because of wrestling hey pete no uh maybe yeah

maybe just because i you know i had more than a surface level bit of knowledge of the smashing pumpkins i suppose but what are you when i was um you know so i was driving young finn he's one of our producers young finn rapper to the rapper young finn y-u-N-G. He's a SoundCloud rapper, Mumble rapper. He's a bit like Post Malone, but he's from Sheffield. I drove him to Old Trafford because we were going up there for a thing. And in the car on the way back

we were stuck in traffic for ages. So I said, look, Finn, I'm going to put some music on, man. I'm driving so I just want to listen to the music. He's like, yeah, fine. So I just put it on shuffle, thinking that's a compromise. I'm not going to make him this sort of obscure album he's never heard of um so i put it on shuffle smashing pumpkins song came on right he'd never heard of the band he'd never heard of them that's interesting because like i heard of them on like the simpsons before i heard the band if that makes sense yeah but you're old i mean

yeah yeah yeah but like that's your gateway into when they were still around yeah yeah but i said i said to him um i said that's really interesting you've never even heard of them because they were massive and they have quite a notable name as well yeah it's like blind melon or something in it either there's no way to have heard of them no i mean they are they've also got a fruit no I mean they are it's just a stupid name for quite a thoughtful band I suppose but the plot thickened

even further because I said to him oh right have you heard of Nirvana then he was like yeah of course I've heard of Nirvana I've listened to Nirvana

yeah of course and I was like it's a bit weird that you would know Nirvana so well but not know Smashing Pumpkins who were basically

probably not quite as big but definitely were contemporaries of Nirvana and they're part of the story as well. Obviously, Billy Corgan, I mean, never bring up... It's a big rivalry, right? Never bring up Kurt Cobain's name in front of Billy Corgan, which I actually did, which upset him.

He was obviously a bit of a... Was he a bit of a love rival with Love? Yeah, he says that there was such a big rivalry between them that even now, if he's back in the ends and he bumps into someone who was part of Nirvana's road team or whatever, he said that they still don't like him. Right, okay, yeah, yeah. But I mean, what I'm trying to get at is

this is not like obscure band. No. They saw 30 million records. Yeah. It's almost a bit like I wasn't born until 1980, but I know who fucking Smashing Pumpkin I'm sorry the brother stones are

do you know what I mean the Smashing Stones yeah Smashing Stones little super group little super group it's yeah

it's weird isn't it I would very much like to hear producer Finn he's got a very lovely whenever I can use Finn for a voiceover I will do because he's got a lovely

deep brogue to his voice and mixed in with quite a nasally Finn for a voiceover, I will do, because he's got a lovely deep brogue to his voice, and mixed in with quite a nasally Billy Corgan vocal line. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to hear Finn

singing a bit of karaoke, singing, I don't know, something from Zero or something. Yeah, that would be good. It'd be like Fred Dibner, front-end. Front-end. Do you remember Fred Dibner. Front in. Front in a Dibner band.

Do you remember Fred Dibner? I do remember Fred Dibner. We talk about Fred Dibner quite a lot, though. More than he probably deserves. Yeah. There is an amazing video of him climbing up that big stack and knocking it all down by hand. And it is, I mean, it's like, it's incredible to watch. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, first of all, I don't fully believe there's any real need to do it that way. I don't think, when you look at chimneys, and like chimneys were everywhere back in the day. What was the biggest chimney in your town? Ours was at the hospital where you could burn bandages. Yeah, same, yeah. It always looked like a big cigarette.

Yeah. I mean, there was a massive, it's a four-league power station was on the horizon to the west of where we lived. But that's all been pulled down now. Yeah. It just seems that,

like when you're up there building a big chimney, you're like, this seems structurally not good. It's too long. Why isn't this falling over? Et cetera. I think that's probably,

I think they probably thought about that. Yeah. They probably engineered it like that, didn't they? They probably know what they're doing. What I'm fascinated by is the art, and it is an art, of demolishing buildings in a way that they don't fall over and hurt anyone.

Yeah. The imploding and the kind of, yeah. So you have to put the charges in certain spots, right? So it collapses in on itself. And when you do that in like a really built up environment where the stakes are high that must be quite exciting yeah but i mean the that at that pay level they usually get it right but then there's the uh watching um inner city tree fellers felling wow that sounds great is

that a tv show no it should be but that i mean that is got its own risks but just watching just some random dudes with a chainsaw just taking down a big tree right next to a shed it's just yeah that's just as thrilling as that really i told you about the guy who um did my the tree in my back garden the um i was careful our pants leg off yeah he didn't have his careful our trousers on he went and helped his mate out for it with a job and he slipped and he was chopped his leg off and it looked like a fucking shark bite. It was an incredible scar to be fair to him. We were talking about Chainsaw

Charlie on WrestleMania yesterday. Terry Funk's... Who's Chainsaw Charlie? Terry Funk's I think character he had for about three months. He joined the WWE even though he had the name Terry Funk and everyone knew him as Terry Funk he decided one day, he just panicked and went, I'm Chainsaw Charlie now and just brought a chainsaw

well it's like a massive rip-off of like texas chainsaw i think so yeah he had like a lady stocking on his head latex latex stocking on it on his head later yeah let's start on his head and uh some like white powder on his head and and a chainsaw um it just seems like sometimes people panic and and that's what happens. I don't see how, I'm not sure how she's going to get to that level in an organisation, though. I mean, you need to have planned this. It's not Pete Donaldson doing his homework.

You need to have planned this more than the night before. Yeah, yeah, frequently. Start rummaging around the spare drawer in your house for some props. Well, I mean, a lot of changes were afoot at the WWE over the past couple of weeks. So there were some last-minute changes to the Royal Rumble, let's say, and we shouldn't say no more of that.

And is it possible to have a chainsaw as a prop that actually works and rotates, but it's not got any blades on it, so you could do almost like a fake chainsaw? I think you just take the teeth off. You do take the chain aspect off, I think. It still still makes the noise and if you're waving it around no one really knows but yeah i don't think you can i don't think you safely wave a chainsaw around there's something quite terrifying about a chainsaw it's it's just anything with i think anything with a

combustion engine in like a generator i find quite what if it explodes like they never explored but it looks like it might explode I think my fear comes from when I was a kid and I went to a kind of circus type thing and one of the acts was a juggling

act and the guy started out juggling like a few juggling balls or whatever then he moved up to like five or six juggling balls which is fucking

amazing yeah and if you've ever tried to juggle anything three juggling balls it's hard yeah

I can juggle with three I can do a little party trip yeah I can do like how am I the do a little party trip yeah I can do like I can do three of different how am I the out of work magician then

come on I know that's just what you dress like but you know me I don't like to shout about things I like to keep my light under a bushel mate

but if for example I can juggle like different three things of different weights so I could do like I don't know a book an orange

and a ping pong ball or something how right hang on I do anything. You like do it for the social. Why are you not doing this right now for the social? It's never come up.

Well, it's coming up now. Go and get a book. Go and do some juggling for the boys. Okay. I'll do it now. Right. All right. So here's a hand sanitizer.

Right. Still living in 2020. A head. I actually bought this like the other day. Did you? Brilliant. Headphone case. Right, yeah. Headphone case.

And then what else would be good? I'll leave you one more thing, mate. I'm not going to do my mobile phone because it'll end in tears. Okay, I'll try, I'll try this coaster. This priceless Fabergé egg. This Princess Eugenie floodlight blended coaster. And they're the only ones who got a coaster?

Outrageous. No, they did the coasters. Oh, right. They were into it, man. They did the coasters. Actually, I'm not going to do the coaster because it's going to make too much of a noise. Hang on a second.

I'm never to be drunk. Luke is stalking his living room trying to find something to juggle. Can you actually see or is the camera shot not good enough? I can see. Maybe step back a little bit, maybe. Okay, hang on. Pop yourself back in the frame.

All right. Hang on. I can't go too far back because otherwise my headphones will come out. Okay. Ready? Can you do it with headphones if you've got... Okay, take the headphones out.

Take the headphones out. All right. And I will narrate, commentate as to how this juggling is going on. Here we go. Right, he's starting to juggle. He's instantly dropped the hand sanitiser. He's having another go with three.

I mean, it is atrocious. I mean, even, I mean, big talk from excellent. Oh, didn't you do well? Didn't you do well? Didn't you do well? What a brilliant, what a brilliant bit of juggling. You could have said it was amazing. I think what I need is I need more space.

You need more space, right, okay. I need kind of probably similarly weighted items that aren't quite as distinctively different. But the point is... Do you need some music? Shall I play some Evanescence? Yeah, play Bring Me to Life. Yes.

Anyway, look, the point i was actually going to make was um is that when i was a kid the circus performer did this stuff and then um he started bringing in different items so like at one point he was juggling with a stool like a three-legged stool yes okay and then he started bringing in an apple he was taking a bite of the apple nice yeah cool when he was juggling and then he started bringing in an apple. He was taking a bite of the apple. Nice, yeah, cool. When he was juggling. And then he brought in three chainsaws that he started, and he was juggling them by the handles,

and it was fucking absolutely terrifying. Again, though, maybe the chains just weren't on the actual chainsaw itself. That's how I would do it. Yeah, but you could kind of see the thing moving, like rotating. Okay, interesting. I don't think you should take anything away from it. It was a very informative the thing moving, like rotating. Okay, interesting. I don't think you should take anything away from it. It was a very informative experience for me, and it was also very impressive, but I think it was probably dangerous.

Yeah, it's what got you into the whole juggling world yourself, I suppose. Fascinating. Well, I used to go juggling, and that kind of stuff. It was like an evening. A friend of mine's dad had like a little circus performing workshop. How are we only hearing about this? And how are you going to get away with me not mentioning it

every show that we're on together until the end of time? You went to clown school. You went to clown school. It's clown school. You just go along and you watch the guys do stuff and then they would

let you have a go at it if you wanted is this how that you know those dancing kids you know the kids who dance oh you mean

like the little kind of what they called like the beauty pageant kids no yeah like no the ones that were on like Britain's Got Talent

those guys oh diversity diversity in my head I can only think of the word evanescence now you know evanescence the dancing kids um is that how they got started presumably they went to a club and they just started dancing and never stopped i think that's probably that's probably a bit

cooler that's probably like a kind of like a proper like organized outreach program or workshop or something whereas this was just a bit like there was all these older fellas who juggling around yeah because there's like quite there was quite a kind of looking back on it there was like a bit of a subculture where i grew up of like traveling folk around right and so they would pitch up and then they'd be doing stuff so they'd be doing like um you know they wouldn't just be doing juggling they'd be doing like fire breathing and like you know the diablo thing with the two sticks yes Yes, okay, yeah. They'd do that. Getting very close to fire poi.

Yeah, it would be that kind of thing, but I don't think there was a fire poi specifically. Listen, I'm not saying I spent my time as an enthusiast of these things. I just thought we should go along. Have you ever gone to the doctor, and you've been talking about being a bit down? And he says, but doctor, I am Luke Moore. Go and see the great Luke Moore, the juggler,

that will cheer you up. Like Pagliacci. Pagliacci. And I said, but doctor, I am the great Luke Moore. I am the great juggler Luke Moore. Well, this is adorable. And if you've ever been to clown school, it sounds like you went to clown school I haven't been to clown school

it sounds like you went to clown school and to be honest I think if you grew your hair out a bit clown hair quite a long time I think you could I think you could probably get away with

dying it red and having some lovely clown hair do clowns have red hair? big red nose big red nose green? blue? I don't really know what's good

you did a magic trick in the studio yesterday. That's true. It sounds like me and you could go on the road and just, you know, not like maybe people who listen to the Little Peach Show might be expecting like a live version of this podcast. But in many ways, it would just be juggling and magic tricks. Fuck it. I'm not sure how long I've been.

I wouldn't be able to elongate the performance long enough. fuck it I couldn't I mean I'm not sure how long I'd be able I wouldn't be able to elongate the performance long enough by the way

speaking of that did I tell you on that aforementioned trip to Old Trafford I was in the hospitality right got invited there by a company

were you going table to table juggling no well this is the thing were you going table to table juggling listen

right we were having dinner before the game. Let me guess, tedious card position? Yeah, but he was fucking amazing. And I forgot to mention it yesterday when Marcus was talking about it and the sponge willy, right?

Honestly, mate. Anything to distract you from the raw chicken, I imagine, at that point. But is it not... Have you ever witnessed that close-up magic and how good it is? Yeah, it's incredible. But you're still just, is it not, have you ever witnessed that close-up magic and how good it is? Yeah, it's incredible. But you're still just being lied to,

aren't you, really? You're still just being lied to. Do you not like it because it shifts your quite shakily held worldview on its axis? It does, yeah, yeah. I don't like it

because I have ideas about how the world's supposed to work and how it does work and when I see that, I'm like, I just, I don't even know. You must be like the leader of the world if you can harness such sorcery. to work and how it does work and when i see that i'm like i just i just i don't even know you you must be like the leader of the world if you can harness such sorcery you're usually dressed like

a magician exactly so but anyway the one thing this guy did which was genuinely impressive because the other stuff was like it was like card tricks and fine like i used to people around me like my family used to do like little card tricks and stuff so i kind of i get all that it's all distraction and then counting that kind of thing there's one thing this guy did which is fucking amazing like genuinely amazing is he gave me a deck of cards and he was never more than like a foot away from me he gave me a deck of cards told me to put it in between my hands like that right so i had like the deck of cards in between my hands like that right hold he said hold them tight as you can so i did he put a handkerchief over the top of my um hands so it's covered and then um he's like he started doing all this kind of stuff and i thought he's gonna because he first asked me to choose a

card right and sign my name on it and i thought oh he's just gonna move that car to the top somehow he's probably already done it by a distracting technique or whatever yeah and that was the thoughts i was having at the time. He said, like, he counted to three. He whipped the handkerchief off and told me to bring my hands away. And there was a fucking clear

perspex box in my hands. Oh, wow. Okay. And the card that I had signed was in the guy opposite me's top pocket. Interesting.

So how did that work then? Well, I don't fucking know, know mate that's what i'm saying um oh interesting um hang on so you must have changed it around really quickly without anyone noticing but there's about five people around the table interesting uh i think because because my mate Dave when we go for a drink he will if he feels like it or we're on like a

holiday or whatever he'll sort of go table to table on a night out with some cards which is dreadful just nobody needs it is he actually doing that

yeah he's doing that and is he good at it no he's terrible on more than one occasion he's just got the cards out and dropped them on the floor why does he do it then I don't know can he actually do a trick or two or not I think he can do a trick than one occasion he's just got the cards out and dropped them on the floor why does he do it then can he actually do a trick

or two or not I think he can do a trick or two but it's all very it's all pretty standard stuff like proper like so he takes a deck of cards on holiday with him

yep absolutely bizarre how do you feel about that as you can imagine I am mortified by my own shadow and so I yeah I'm absolutely

you know what annoys me about that you choose to spend more social time with him than you do with me and that just tells me everything I need absolutely you know what annoys me about that you choose to spend more social time with him than you do with me and that just tells me everything I need to know about what you think

about me in real life yeah we live in Portsmouth I only like people who've chosen oh that's even worse it's a fucking kick in the teeth that's a slap in the face I like people

who choose to live down there rather than come from there yeah that is a slap in the face you've got you've got you've got a mate who from Psmouth who is demonstrably a worse bloke than me but you choose to hang out with him for me well look

if like he's he's a man of simple pleasures i once um saw on his laptop that he'd typed in the word blowjob into google and that was his and i'm like if you are typing that into Google, you're not an advanced computer user for me. That's quite easy. Yeah, it is, isn't it? He's happy with that. Into Google, presumably image search or something. He just typed it in. He's happy with seeing what he's seeing.

Safe search on. Safe search on. I only want to see what Google will allow me to see. But yeah, I was pretty blown away by that discovery, to be honest. Oh, God. Yeah, and yet you still choose to be friends with him more than me. Well, I see you a lot. I don't see him at all.

He's in the Navy. By the way, the listeners have asked for this. I need to come to your place and do a recorded episode from your car. All right, yeah. You've got to do it. So just after the show, Rory, we've got to organise it so just after the show with Rory we've got to organise it well let's wait until it's not on my

father-in-law's front no let's do it then no because I can definitely do it then no because it'll create a Ferrari that he doesn't need

I feel bad enough going round there and installing new windscreen wipers to be quite frank but and he is frank let's work it out we've got to do it because the listeners going around there and installing new windscreen wipers to be quite frank but let's work it out

we've got to do it because the listeners are calling for it mate I'll put a I'm going to store it in a garage from the car from me so that'll be a bit easier how long will that be in there for? oh I think it's going to be another couple of months before it's road legal unfortunately because the DVLA move at a

rather slow space. Space? Pace. Let's have a break, Peter. When we come back, we've got some batteries to do because it's Thursday. We've got some really pretty ones as well. Oh, good. We'll look forward to that then. Go back to school with Rogers

and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. We're back with the Luke and Pete show.

If you've found some batteries in an old remote control, we want to hear from you. We want to hear pictures. We want to see pictures, rather. And we want to hear what brand they are. Hi, guys. This is Mitchell. Optimistic on this one. See photo attached.

I bring to the table a pink thong. Pink thong. Within my one-year-old baby's baby shark book. Pink thong, apparently, the baby shark creators. So, like, baby shark seemed to be... I thought that was like a weird kind of um i think indian kind of song at the start wasn't it like all made out there i got the sense that like there's that one where there's the boy eats too much sugar no it's um it's it's no it's from

so this is the thing i think you've missed the point here which is rare for you given you're kind of south k Korean enthusiast. South Korean, right. Yeah, it's South Korean. And the company or collective, whoever they are, that made Baby Shark were called Pinkfong. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. That's basically what I'm interested in. But I was just wondering whether they were the same people who did Hello Johnny. You know the boy who eats too much sugar and he goes,

Hello Johnny, Hello Johnny. I don't know. Anyway. Okay, so I think it's... I'm just looking at it now. Apparently, it's based on a German song that was around first, but Pinkfong popularized Baby Shark.

So Pinkfong... So first of all, you've got to decide, Peter, whether you accept Pinkfong as a battery brand. Yeah. If so, it's a new play. If not, it gets chucked straight out the window. It depends on if Pinkfong are willing to sort of continue this little journey

this little adventure I mean usually I mean Baby Shark seemed to me to be a little bit of a cash grab they happened upon a tune that everyone

found excruciating but very addictive my niece was obsessed with it man yeah well I saw it I've been watching a lot of the Wiggles

really and for my own reasons. And Baby Shark turns up on that as well, like a proper licensed Baby Shark, which is incredible. Guess how many views the Baby Shark song, the official Baby Shark song has got on YouTube? 50 million. You're going to have to go a little bit higher than that, I'm afraid. Oh, 75 million.

14 billion. billion streams man I don't know how much money you get for that imagine how gutted you'd be to find out YouTube had demonetised it yeah yeah there was an errant sell oh sorry someone's got a copyright claim some fucking guy in a bedroom's got a copyright claim so I've missed out on 14 billion pounds worth

with WrestleMania with with WWE, WWE, as part of their training camp, they obviously show a lot of the wrestlers classic videos from yesteryear. And they've actually started, and they accidentally uploaded to their licensing database these same videos that they show on the wrestlers.

And so a lot of the footage from World of Sport and ITV and joint promotions and stuff in the UK that they don't actually own the license to, but YouTube think they do. So every time we do a British wrestler, WWE say, yo, you can't use this, even though they don't actually technically have the license.

They just accidentally did this thing. YouTube just, nah, nah, not listening. You're just making you take stuff down that they don't actually... That's frustrating, isn't it? That's very frustrating. There's an interesting diversion from you, Peter, but you are going to have to

make a decision on Pinkfong, I'm afraid. I think that Pinkfong are at the start of their battery journey, and I think it's only right that we encourage these near-stunt young things are at the start of their battery journey. And I think it's only right that we encourage these nascent young things, these young Turks of the battery world. Otherwise, we'll have nothing to talk about. So it's a new player. I think it's a new player.

Well done, yeah. Congratulations to Pinkfong. Thank you, Pinkfong. Congratulations to our friend Mitchell. Thank you, Mitchell. All right, Keith Campbell. Hello, Pete. Quite the opposite end from my Fart Machine 2 battery submission a couple of months ago.

I've got the Fart Machine 2. Let's have a look. Where is it now? I've got the remote control for it anyway. The Fart Machine 2 I bought because the dogs were sort of barking in the house. And I positioned the Fart Machine in the kitchen. So when they started going at it, shouting and stuff, barking as they do, I would fire off the fart machine

but the actual What and it would shut them up? It would shut them up because they'd be like what the fuck just happened? They'd be like what?

What was that? Very nice You won't find that in any kind of dog parenting textbook will you? No use a fart machine

but no it's yeah I thought there was a fart machine sequel. Yeah, it's got a longer range. Apparently, it can go for nearly a mile. You can fire it up.

Oh, good. Yeah. Anyway, anyway, a couple of months ago, Keith got involved with this fart machine. Anyway,

today's entry comes from a battery operated toothbrush. I don't think I've heard the name Kaliki. Kaliki in the battery daddy yet. And I've been listening since heard the name Kaliki. Kaliki in the Battery Daddy yet and I've been listening since this was a summer project.

Keith Campbell, Kaliki, K-E-L-I-Q-A, no mercury added, but will it be an entry added to the database in the Battery Daddy? This is K-E-L-I-Q-I, right?

Yes. Yeah. It's a brand new player. Lovely. Well done. And I think, very kind of carelessly and perhaps quite optimistically, Keith Campbell has put his mobile phone number in the ring now. Lovely. Well done. And I think very kind of carelessly and perhaps quite optimistically,

Keith Campbell has put his mobile phone number in your email. Give him a ring. I'm not sure why. Say thank you. But I won't be doing that because it'll be an international call. So don't worry, Keith. You're safe for now.

But don't be handing your digits out like that. My goodness me. My email address is on my email signature. Yeah. It might even be on my Twitter. My goodness me, am I inundated with crap. What, your email? Yeah.

Is it on my Twitter? I'm just going to check. It might be on my Twitter, and that's why. If so, I need to change that. I get emails from people wanting to make TikTok and YouTube videos out of our podcasts. I get three an hour these days. I don't know what has happened. Mine isn't on my Twitter.

I don't know how I keep getting... I keep getting emails from people pretending to be my friend telling me they've got some kind of marketing solution for me. Yeah.

What's that noise? That was me pretending that I had something to do with it. I didn't do a very good job. I was just going, dickhead. Anyway.

Oh, I see, right. Sounded like someone was doing some sandpapering. Very impressed with Jordan's choice of implement that he's pulled these batteries out of us, to be said. Hello from sunny Melbourne, Australia. After my last entry, Cos Alkaline was a new player.

I was excited to share the news of my award with my significant other. After explaining the importance of documenting and cataloguing the world's less notable battery brands, my partner looked at me like I was a child who was explaining which is their favourite locomotive. If this battery is a new player, I'll be keeping it to myself.

This battery is the Nanoran Super Alkaline. Found in the kit for my new 3-axis gyro-stabilised laser level 3-axis. I better use that. Donaldson, that's a better you, isn't it? I was genuinely considering buying a buying a gyro laser

level, but only for 1-axis though, or 2-axis. I mean, shout out to Jordan buying a gyro laser level but only for one axis though or two axis. Two axis. Yeah, I mean, shout out to Jordan because he's basically included the picture of how the three level,

three axis level works. It looks fucking amazing. It looks really futuristic. Like you just bash it in and it's just, it just gives you a lovely flat line. So there was,

when I had my ceiling re-leveled in the hallway, the guys who did that had a level which they basically put on the floor and it was a bit like in a sci-fi movie. Have you seen Prometheus? Yes, probably, yes. In Prometheus, when they're trying to chart the cave system

they're going into, they throw these balls up in the air which flow and they take the topography. It was like a really unimpressive version of that but it was still very impressive what um what makes me laugh is like the iphone could probably do that no except the iphone could do like 500 things that no one ever knows about like there's a guy on um on twitter and i'm going to tell you what his name is because i've actually saved a bookmark one of his threads recently um and he um essentially shows you all the things

that i've it's called marius hawken his name is and his twitter is m hawken h-a-u-k-e-n sounds like he's from finland or something marius probably it's definitely scandinavian and um he does threads every week or so about all the things your iphone can do that you don't know about and some of it is mind-blowingly good. Yeah, yeah. Some of it is simple. Like the other day, I found out that the iPhone is perfectly capable of giving you a consistent, never-ending white noise sound if you want it through the speaker.

Yeah, but could you not just go on YouTube and just get a white noise? You can, mate, but you don't need to because you can just press a button on the iPhone and it does it for you. What? It's on, what do you mean? you can just press a button on the iPhone and it does it for you. What? It's on, what do you mean? It's like on a, in the actual iOS.

When you pull down from the top right. Right. It's on your menu. I'm Android. I'm outside of the ecosystem, I'm afraid. We're not even fucking,

listen then. Oh, so it's on there now, right, okay. I wonder what mine can do. It's amazing. You can do, you can do all sorts of stuff. So anyway,

um, I'm going to scan a QR code. Nanorand Super Alkali. While you're doing that, I'm just going to check in Nanorand Super Alkali, which is Jordan's amazing. You can do all sorts of stuff. And so anyway, Nanoran Super Alkali. While you're doing that, I'm just going to check in Nanoran Super Alkali, which is Jordan's submission. And they are indeed a new player as well.

So we're three out of three today. Well, there you go. Very versatile set of... We thought this was dead and buried, but it's come back like a phoenix, a very level phoenix in a bathroom,

levelling everything up um so thank you very much to everyone who got in touch with their battery brands hello at lucanpcho.com uh we are always yeah famished we are always ravenous for more batteries send us emails tweets insta dms whatever about all the things that the iphone can do that you've discovered that no one else knows about threatening uh threatening a loved one? It can do that, yeah. With your help. With my help. With a bystander's help.

All right then. We'll be back. Use your iPhone to email the show. Hello at louispedge.com. You can check us out on Instagram, all kinds of things really. And use your iPhone to hit that subscribe button. Subscribe button.

You'll never miss any of our fucking shows, all right? We are here every single bloody monday and thursday i've had a couple of people by the way i've had a couple of people in the last few weeks or so come up to me in the street saying they love the luke and peach show they're not sharing it around their pals then i don't there's no hope for any of us good point good point uh all right we'll be back on monday for more of this have a lovely weekend have a lovely weekend. Have a lovely Friday as well,

if you're listening to this on the Friday. Best part of the week, best day of the week. Just have a good time. Yeah. Can you tell I've been up since six in the morning? With not making the most of their Fridays. Make the most of your Friday. You get no Saturday.

If you don't make the most of your Friday, you get no Saturday, all right? As the old song goes yeah as the old Cliff Richard song goes that's pretty much how I used to live my life see ya

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