The Luke and Pete Show - The Doughnut Republic

Episode Date: December 28, 2023

It’s the period between Christmas and New Year and Luke and Pete have descended into madness. The result? They’re trying to work out what explicit items you could 3D print.Elsewhere, Pete explains why the partner he has access to wouldn’t buy the Christmas present he really wanted. She’s probably made a sensible decision, to be honest…We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Subscribe to our YouTube HERE.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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At your side. Imagine if you could 3D print your own bacon. Because you know that... They keep talking about it don't they like yeah there's there's there's um well i was reading about this the other day it's really annoying me i can't remember exactly where it is somewhere where there's a horrific civil war happening that doesn't narrow it down um and a certain movement within that civil war are and have been quite successfully 3D printing their own weapons right ok yeah I would see

that working can you print ammunition because obviously it's like I would say that it's probably you are probably spending more money on your overheads I don't think you can 3D print gunpowder.

No, or metal easily, one would suggest. No, I think they're like a robust plastic. Yeah. I was saying, I mean, I think there are different polymers and stuff, but I don't think anything's going to make it easier. You still need a bit of metal to fire the pin, surely. What's your favourite polymer? Ooh, polyvinyl acetate.

Great answer. Great answer. Great acetate. Fantastic acetate. Great polymer. As you can probably tell, it's the little period between Christmas and New Year where nothing is happening.

Nothing is happening. The Christmas perineum, as our friend Jim Campbell always calls it. The Buffman's Bridge. The Buffman's Bridge, yeah. Hell's Doorstep. I think that was a joke I half stole out of Sports Horn, so I apologise for that. Hell's Doorstep is fantastic. Well, listen, you can still...

I actually made Anthony and Mark from Sports Horn a cup of coffee each the other day. So if that doesn't entitle us to steal a joke or a line, I don't know what does. I'm putting a bit back in. I want to take a bit out. Welcome to the Luke and Pete Show. It is Thursday, the 28th of December. I was going to say then that when we said Buffman's Bridge and Hell's Doorstep and all that kind of stuff,

I was going to say banjo string, but I do believe the common parlance banjo string means the little piece of skin that holds the foreskin to the penis. Yeah. It's funny that, isn't it? For people who are presumably sliced up down there, as they call it, as the doctors call it. That is what they call it.

That's the medical word, yeah. How you doing? Do you want to jump up on the bed? Let's proper slice you up. Jump up on the bed and I'll slice you up down there. I mean, it's a cheeky little bit of skin, isn't it? Cheeky little number. When it becomes taut, it does a lot of work. It holds things up.

It pulls things back. It lets everyone have a nice time. And if you're a creationist, you believe God meant to do it that way. Right, okay, yeah. God could have done anything with the foreskin, but he chose to do it that way right okay yeah fair God could have done anything with the foreskin but he chose to do it that way didn't need it just give us a chemical

that's it give us a polymer could you 3D print your own foreskin if you want to reverse the whole situation it's worth thinking about I've got a story that I'll almost certainly put off 65% of our listenership.

Okay. Want me to tell it anyway? Yes, I do. This is fair warning. If you're of a squeamish disposition, you may not like to listen to this story. But I'm going to tell it anyway because we're between Christmas and New Year and there's nothing else going on. So when I was about 16, I was at a house party with a friend of mine. Let's call him Dave because that's his name.

And he was courting a lovely young lady. Can't remember her name. Doesn't matter. Probably in between the stuff, house party, he thought that he was going to finally have full sexual intercourse with this girlfriend of his. Too many variables at house party. Too many things that could go wrong.

You are trying to guarantee space in a house to do it the exuberance of youth yeah yeah anyway he um he at some point in the party which i imagine was i can't really remember but was probably very boring uh he he went and disappeared with his girlfriend anyway um we were i think we were in the one of the bedrooms playing video games that's the kind of party it was um and that's the kind of people you were there was a knock on the yeah we definitely were there was a knock on the door of the room of which there are about five or six of us in there and one of our friends answered it uh but held the door in a way that we couldn't see what was outside right and all i heard was like a whimper from Dave,

who was pretty much my best mate at the time, just going, Luke, can you get Luke? And I was like, yeah, what's up? Went out there and the old banjo string had snapped. Oh, dear. And it was bleeding. Oh, dear. And the thing I'll always remember about it,

and this is the squeamish part, is that he went into the bathroom and dangled the old chap over the sink. Apologies to the parents whose house it was, I suppose. Right. It's better than going in and playing on the video game because that's going to get all of the controller. They're allowed a Mad Catz controller.

They're not allowed a first-party controller if they're going to play after snapping the banjo and getting blood everywhere. Would have been 1996. It probably would have been a SNES. Right, okay, fair, fair. Possibly a possible Mega Drive. Anyway.

Don't get on the multi-tap. The thing I remember more than anything, and it'll probably never leave me, is the blood... The smell. ...that was emanating from said penis... Right. ...was almost pulsating out,

like the tempo of a pulse. Like arterial blood, right, yeah. Like a pulse. Yeah, I guess that's where the... I mean, I assume there was probably less blood than there was when copulation was taking place, but yeah, I mean, I imagine it's... I wasn't party to that.

It's a gusher. Yeah, it was, and so then, obviously, it was straight to A&E. Strap yourself up, get yourself to A&E. I can't remember what happened after that. I don't think I went to party to that. It's a gusher. Yeah, it was. And so then obviously it was straight to A&E. Strap yourself up, get yourself to A&E. I can't remember what happened after that. I don't think I went to A&E. Unlike when my friend fell over a fence and split his chin through the skin.

That looked so bad that I needed to go to A&E with him just to cleanse myself. Just to see worse injuries. I basically, for closure, I needed to see it stitched up. Otherwise, the only way I'd ever think of it, it was just like a flap of skin, like yawning, like a Muppet's mouth.

Yeah, absolutely disgusting. Around the chin. Anyway, sorry about all that, but it's a very slow news week. I like to think that I am too creative for my own good. I'd sort of start trying to get it back together with super glue like they did in the war and you know what i mean like the vietnam war whatever it was um you know like it was invented for the war like so i would

sort of go you know what let's not bother with any let's just get some good old araldite out and then we'll be in a situation where a man bleeds to death. You've got to mix it first, haven't you, Haroldite? Give me a minute. Give me a second. I just need two matchsticks. Does that feature a polymer? Yeah, I'd say.

Yeah, it's got to be. It's a plastic, isn't it? It's got to be, isn't it? Yeah, you think so. Is it definitely true that superglue was developed for... Wounds. I thought it was developed for wounds, closing them up real quick and real nice was it really the punctures the slashes etc i thought that was yes might be i think i think there's a there's a difference i believe that the that is kind of based on truth but i think that what they were using the vietnam

war was a spray right okay well it is a liquid isn is a liquid, isn't it? I suppose. It's not really a goopy mess, is it? It's very liquidy. And then it gets hot. And then you're like, that's going to be on my fingers for the next three weeks. I remember I dropped a tub of Swarovski once and it flew up in the air

and hit me in the eyes. How did it do that? It's like a sort of lovely almondy smell, isn't it? It was like green and goopy. Didn't we speak about Swarovski on the show? And I got a personalised bottle of... Yeah, I fucking didn't, even though I was the one who wore it in my eyes.

I think they sent it to Absolute Radio. I think that's why. See, that's annoying. That is irritating. Oh, we're Swarovski and we only observe traditional media. Yeah. I also had a

I also had a bottle of HP sauce with my face on which someone just started using I was like I'll get you another bottle like can I have the bottle

with my face on that's a great present because that lasts for ages as well it does nobody eats that much brown sauce is there anybody

who's listening to the little pizza who actually who eats consumes brown sauce on every meal? There must be some absolute... I've literally just had a sausage sandwich with HP sauce on it.

Yes! But I will be honest with you, I'm much more of an HP fruity guy. What's the difference? Is it just a bit of Branson mixed in? What do you think the difference is? Cordial. Yeah, I just put Robinson's orange squash in there.

Robinson's on the top, yeah. No, it's just a bit fruitier in taste it's just a bit fruity in taste what I find is HP's got a very very strong smell very vinegary

very peppery it's an aggressive it's an aggressive little hot sauce not hot sauce do you respect it's aggression I do yeah

I think it's uncompromising in the very best sense of the word yeah I don't mind at all really I do too. Peter, I've got news that I was going to do a Christmas band of dads tonight.

A pre-Christmas, post-Christmas band of dads. Yeah. But it's been cancelled at the last minute because the guitar player has been attacked by his own cat and had his middle finger sliced open and he can't play guitar. Whoa. Hey. how bad is that well uh let me save you with one fell trip to the off license um let me save your band of dads um session by buying you some loctite um super glue yeah you should have just done that because you remember like you remember the guitar player from black sabbath tony iomi

yes i do yeah and he chopped i think two or three of his fingers off in an industrial accident what's Oh, because you remember the guitar player from Black Sabbath, Tony Iommi? Yes, I do, yeah. And he chopped, I think, two or three of his fingers off in an industrial accident. What's he getting involved? What, was it pre...? Oh, yeah, because he had a proper job. Okay, right. Okay, yeah. Obviously, because he was from the West Midlands, he worked in a factory.

And he sliced a couple of his fingers off. Right. Or the tops of his fingers off. And then he just adapted by putting these kind of metal thimbles on his fingers and then just carried on playing. So he could do that. You made that sound like mid-song. I thought you were going to say that they couldn't find some guitar picks

and you're like, hey, wait a second, let me 3D print some new ones. There's one for you right there. There's the old Van Halen one for you right there. You need to get involved with that. I need to shave it down, mate. I need to shave it down. Speaking of shaving it down, Peter. Right.

Looking resplendent in the old moustache department today, if you don't mind me saying. Well, I kept seeing videos. We did a lot of pre-roll video for the Football Ramble where I was moustachachioed and you know what the further away I get from it the more I like that moustache so it's coming back it's coming back in a big way. Pleased to hear

it, very very pleased to hear it, I think it suits you, the cookie duster, the soup strainer I was listening to for Wrestlemania I was listening to The Undertaker started a Patreon only podcast and bearing in mind he is the to The Undertaker started a Patreon-only podcast. And he good? Bearing in mind, he is probably the biggest selling act

behind probably Hulk Hogan in wrestling history. He has had such a long career and made so much money. Has he made his dough, do you reckon? He's made his dough. He doesn't need to be doing this, but he's doing this. And everybody signed up thinking it's going to be this Watson-all kind of expose of you know because obviously he was the the the backstage kind of like dad he was like the bloke who um the bloke who held wrestlers court so if there was ever a

dispute um undertaker was very much and he was also the conduit within uh with which um vince mcmahon would kind of um tell everyone what what be done. And, you know, the boys would trust him and the management would trust the Undertaker from both sides. Anyway, oh my fucking Christ, what a piece of shit. Why is it so bad? Honestly, the third episode, I got one piece of information about wrestling

and the rest was a hour and a quarter takedown of the general quality of the hunting lodges of Nebraska

it was absolutely horrifically shit now you're making me want to listen honestly he tells one story he starts it

by going bearing in mind it's only the third episode so they shouldn't be running out of topics but he's like I'm going to tell you all about how which motel He starts it by going, bearing in mind, it's only the third episode, so they shouldn't be running out of topics, but he's like, I'm going to tell you all about which motels we would stay in on the road.

I was like, fuck off. Third episode, and that's where we are. How much do you have to pay? Say again? How much do you have to pay? I don't know, Mark. A bigger boy, Mark,

paid for it and just sent me the episodes. I like that it's called Six Feet Under Six Feet Under I love that remember that that was the first kind of like big ticket TV show

wasn't it Six Feet Under oh we're setting the funeral home yeah yeah weird anyway he tells one story

where about in the hall of an hour and a quarter show about staying in a hotel motel with the Iron Shake,

who was mad. It's a miracle he lived that long, the amount of cork that went up his nose. But apparently he would get in about two o'clock in the morning. Taker went to bed about one and he's just trying to get some sleep. And Sheiky goes into the... it's four o'clock in the

morning like two hours later and sheik is up and up and about clearly tweaking and he's outside doing like fucking like doing working out on the uh on the balcony and he's left the door open and it's really windy anyway um and then he tries to get some more sleep but then he wakes up half an hour later and um someone's running the shower for like an hour like proper wake-up shower and then um he's uh and then all he hears is the hair dryer gone for ages and he's like that chick doesn't have any hair and he shaves all of his hair off all the time his mustache he was just he was just slowly getting his uh his his mustache right that's incredible are you gonna do the same? Well, if it gets long enough, yeah,

maybe I'll invest in a tiny hairdryer. Why is nobody... I mean, there's so much kind of like men's... It's men's health. It's men's beard shit. You know what I mean? Every Christmas, if you are capable of growing hair on your chinny-chin-chin,

and even if you don't, ironically, people will buy you beard calming measures little pots of ham grease and little little combs for your beard comb like nobody has that length of beard like really and if they have they've only got a beard comb also it was like a thing back in the day wasn't it for while, like maybe 10 years ago, maybe longer. And I also think that it falls into that bracket of Christmas presents, which is like,

don't bother getting me a present. We're adults. At the tills in TK Maxx. Yeah, 100%. You've spent money on that. I'm never going to use it. Yeah.

I've got to pretend to like it. You've got to take the time to wrap it. I've got to find a room for it in my house. Just landfill. Just landfill, isn't it? All this admin that goes to like it. You've got to take the time to wrap it. Yeah. I've got to find a room for it in my house. Just landfill. Just landfill, isn't it? All this admin that goes along with it.

Just, do you know what I would like? I would like someone to buy me a book they've thought about and possibly, depending on whether I like them that much or not, a pint. Yeah. That's all I want. Yeah. I already know that, well, I mean, I basically,

did I tell you about Mr. Donut I wanted? No. Sarah asked me about what I want for Christmas, and I tell her, and she says, I'm not getting you that. Now, how is that fair? Is it a Japanese thing? No, it's a donut, like it's a statue of a donut about the size of a five-year-old

that people put outside their donut shops to indicate they've got delicious donuts for sale. What are you going to do with that? What? Oh, it makes sense in principle. What do you want to do with it? Just put it in the garden. People are going to take the piss, mate.

They're not going to take the piss. They're not going to see it. The only people who are going to see it are my neighbours. Why do you want it? I just,

there's loads of them around Southend because we're a donut people. The donut republic of Southend. The donut republic of Southend.

Here he is. Look at him. Oh, it's cool. It looks pretty cool. Yeah, it's like a massive reddened arsehole. Yeah, I think it's cool it looks pretty cool yeah it's like a massive reddened arsehole yeah

I think it's made by the same people who that where they've got that hot dog that puts ketchup on itself or the chicken

and it goes argh I'm putting my ears on myself I mean are they readily available yeah 250 quid

from a place that stock that serves donut shops 250 quid but they're just nicely painted and you know from a place that's a stockist that serves donut shops. £250? But they're just nicely painted. And, you know, in this world,

like, it's not a mass market product. And everything, like, you know, a beard comb is a mass market product. Some little tongs to tend your barbecue is a mass market product. Mr. Donut, there can't be that many in the wild. You passionately won it and I think what Sarah's done there is she has thought about the price of everything yet the value of nothing

it's going to give you a lot of pleasure to sit on a bench, so a lot of people as they get older they want to go and sit on the garden bench out the back and watch the birds feed on the feeder or they want to see their dog run around the lawn and some people just want to look at Mr Donut in the shape of a prolapsed anus.

He's got donuts for arms. Made of some kind of fiberglass, presumably. Yeah, it will. It'll fade and rot. And, you know, God bless him for fading and rotting. I just see him outside every donut hostelry on the promenade, on the esplanade, and I just got to go, it's a bit creepy.

I like it. You could, presumably, they'd change to the premises, obviously. I don't think I could really make off with him. He'd be, I'm sure that, you know, you'd hate to see one bobbing around in the sea, wouldn't you? It's the kind of thing a student does as a prank on the way home from the pub, isn't it? Yeah, and I've not at 42, I've not really grown out of that, to be honest.

Good money on it. I think it's understandable that she's not done that. No, it's true. Let's have a break, Peter. When we come back, we've got batteries to do because we want to see if the battery feature is going to limp on or come back from the dead like the aforementioned Undertaker or whether it is truly

cooked i mean it's up to our listeners we'll find out one way or the other the other side of this a lot of different metaphors there you could have gone with like it will be recharged in the new year i'll fuck the whole thing up really but doesn't matter go back to school with rogers and get can Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit Rogers.com for details. We got you.

Rogers. We're back with the Luke of Peach or how the devil are you? I'm currently running through the laps running order to try and find the batteries i tell you what i came up with a um a nominee for the batteries uh this week didn't i in an order in a toy in a new toy i uh found some um some batteries and i said lads i think these might be a new one uh but they weren't they weren't they've been um chosen seven times yeah burst oh they were burst in the uh in the group and then rory snatched your dreams away But they weren't. They weren't. They'd been chosen seven times. Yeah, Burstow. They were Burstow. Burstow. He stuck it in the group

and then Rory snatched your dreams away. He did, yeah. I thought, you know what? I never do this, although I do come into contact with a lot of batteries, but I just thought Burstow, it's a weird one.

It's kind of surprising how many times it's been featured. I didn't think it would be that many. My first instinct was it might be a new player, but it's not. Yeah, fantastic. I'm just looking at battery number two.

We've got an absolute stonker there. Zach in Germany has got in touch upon hearing in a recent episode the battery daddy could soon be an endangered species due to a new player drought. Here is my second battery submission to try and prolong the feature. For your consideration, I present the Ondonks.

The O-N-D-O-N-X. Ond your consideration, I present the Ondonks. The O-N-D O-N-X. Ondonks. Recently discovered in a smoke alarm. All the best and he's hoping for many more years of new battery brands. Zach in Germany. The Ondonks. Ondonks. Yeah, it is weirdly

a new player. It's never been seen before. Thank you to Zach for sending it in. Ondonks is fucking very complicated it in wow and Onks is it's fucking very complicated to say Onks is a new player it's O-N-D

space O-N-X as you said it's a lovely little nine volta and it's straight in there as a new player sounds like somebody

giving a rather passionate bit of oral sex possibly anyway Scott and Emma do it again say it again

in that way Onks Onks I don't know what you're up to pal Onks and a bit of oral sex, possibly. Anyway, Scott and Emma. Do it again, say it again in that way. Un-onks, un-donks. I don't know what you're up to, pal. Un-donks, un-donks. Anyway,

Scott and Emma. Thanks, Scott and Emma. Hi, look at Pete. Our submission is a nine volt, super heavy duty, EH battery,

made by Electro Harmonics, and found in my electro acoustic guitar. Surely you've not had this brand before as we'd remember you mentioning a graphic of well a chunky Jimmy Savile

lookalike yeah currently decompressing after our wedding on Friday 8th by photographing batteries and emailing the bigger boys

all the best Scott and Emma in the Cayman Islands Scott and Emma in the Cayman Islands I hope that Scott or Emma brought their super heavy duty electro acoustic guitar to the Cayman Islands. I hope that Scott or Emma brought their super heavy duty electroacoustic guitar

to the Cayman Islands to play in a hammock as the sun goes down. That would be absolutely amazing stuff. Yeah, I didn't really fully know where the Cayman Islands was. I knew it was kind of somewhere in the Caribbean. But it's very interestingly positioned, isn't it? It's between, basically, it's basically between on on the west i'm looking out on the map now on the west it's kind of in between belize and southern mexico it's south of cuba it's slightly east of jamaica and it's north of panama yeah it's weird yeah

have you been there donnie not been there done St Lucia nearly drowned I've got no business in the oh yeah who was it who was it who saved your life again

it was a man called Solomon I believe Solomon I don't think it was Solomon was it I think you've changed I think you've forgotten him

even though he saved your life which is ungrateful I'll just go back and I think we named the show after it which is you know just a great trade I would say named the show after it, which is, you know, just a great trade, I would say, in many ways.

Abraham. It was Abraham. Abraham, that's it. Where did Solomon come from? I don't know. Why did you say Solomon? Islands. I think it was Solomon Islands.

The nearest I've been to there is Puerto Rico, which I bloody enjoyed. Puerto Rico. And what I also enjoyed about it was that when I flew over Cuba from Florida, they fucking, they had blanked it out of the map on the in-flight entertainment. Fuming about Cuba. The whole Cuba kind of, you know,

I mean, you could piss from Cuba to fucking Key West, couldn't you? And it's obviously Obama rolled the thing forwards and then probably not helped by the fact that a lot of the embassy out there, everyone had a headache after a while. I've got a large headache. I've got a large headache from a potential microwave weapon.

Yeah, it's just funny that obviously Trump rolled it back and then I think Biden's got bigger things to worry about. It's just sad because they're so close and there's such a massive Cuban, obviously a massive Cuban relationship with the people in Florida. Did you like it in Cuba when you went there? I did.

It was... I did. You do feel... I didn't see much of it. I just saw Varadero and Havana. Whenever I mention that, Marcus has a go because he's been proper backpacking. But what are you going to do?

Yeah, don't worry about that. He's always got a bee in his bonnet about something. Anyway, we're keeping people hanging on here, aren't we? The one I find fascinating among that part of the world is Bermuda because it is really in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, what was I doing? Oh, yeah. Electroharmonic. so they've got an amazing picture of like a pump-up muscle man jimmy savel on them yeah as you rightly say and

scott and emma thank you for sending those in you are weirdly the fourth person to send these in so connor christie daniel goldberg and chris brian have all sent that exact battery in before i do believe we mentioned it on the show possibly about a year and a half ago. I think we did. I remember it.

Like Scott, Emma, we would remember it. We did remember it, but I didn't want to lead the jury earlier. No, that's fair enough. We've got to judge

it all on its merits. It's great to see it again. It's a lovely nine Volta with a muscle man on the front. You can't go wrong. Rory will share that on the old socials so people can

have a look at it. And yeah, we'll go again. The final battery for this week, Peter, please, if you don't mind. Alright, we've got one from Ben Howard. Hello, you global ambassadors of all things AA and AAA. While taking my regular stroll through the suburbs of, is it Agale?

Agale? Agale? Yeah, where is that? Ageo? I don't really know to be honest. He's got a 7-Eleven so it's probably somewhere kind of China, Korea, Japan

maybe? He says Japan doesn't he? Oh yes, yes, sorry. Yes, it's Japan, yeah. Alright, yeah. Ageo, on the way to the supermarket

I have come across this little roadside shrine to the humble yet mighty AA and AAA anywhere else it will be litter but surely not in Japan and I've walked past them

for several weeks now chuckling to myself and thinking about your show I guess the 7-Eleven is not a new player but what about this little green number I love the show

even though I have no interest in football fighting movies or video games fair do oh thanks Ben what's our fighting podcast is that is that this I think he means wrestling bickering right okay fair I think he might just mean Fair do Oh thanks Ben What's our fighting podcast Is that I think he means wrestling

Bickering Right okay I think he might just mean wrestling right Yeah Football fighting movies Or video games There we go I love that he sums it up

Should put that in the synopsis Yeah Lovely stuff So 7 7-11 right Yes So I think

That's been done before A few times Well you say that, I can't find it and I've even searched as you told me to using the quotations. Really? The thing is they're not actually called 7-Eleven on the battery in the

photo that he's included. 7 Premium. Lifestyle. Yeah, but look at that battery. Look at the logo. Does it say 7 and I? Oh yeah, that's just a 7-Eleven logo, isn't it? So I don't think that's the brand of the thing. But like 7 Premium Lifestyle. I think there was an explanation why it's 7 and I.

No, that's not the 7-Eleven logo. The 7-Eleven logo is an orange and red 7. Out in Japan, that's 7-Eleven, honestly. Oh, is it really? Okay. It's different in Japan. But 7 Premium Lifestyle, enriching your lifestyle with quality products. So I think you'd have to sort of say

seven premium would be the brand. So have a look at like seven premium with the seven. The number seven. Number seven, yeah. I think that's probably where you'd go. Okay, let's have a look. All right, I'll type in my 7-Eleven logo.

This is exciting. God, people on tenterhooks here. Like is, oh. Oh, in which case then, Ben is the second person to send them in. They were sent on Juneerhooks here. In which case then, Ben is the second person to send them in. They were sent on June the 29th by Andrew Dunlop and I've looked at the photo and they're exactly the same. So it's the second person to send them in.

Great detective work there, Peter. You helped me out of a hole there. Still pretty good effort though, doing it and being the second person to send them. Yeah, fantastic stuff. Well, yeah. Well, that's the batteries. That is the batteries.

Peter, is there any interest from you in the kind of, speaking of what we were saying earlier about these different islands and stuff dotted about, I bloody love an isolated island and I'll tell you why. I became fascinated with

an island called St Helena. Have you heard of it? Is that near St Kitts? No. Right island called St. Helena. Have you heard of it? Is that near St. Kitts? No. Right. Oh, St. Helena. Is that down in New Zealand? It's not there anywhere.

Oh. No, it's in the Atlantic, the Southern Atlantic Ocean. Right. And it's basically tiny. I used to work with a lady from St. Helena. It's a British overseas territory, so I don't know what the detail is, but I imagine she's perfectly entitled to live in the UK,

so maybe that's why she was there. I can't remember. But it's really interesting because to get there, even now, you have to fly to Cape Town and then you have to get a six-day boat. Good God. and then you have to get a six-day boat. Good God.

Why is nobody starting a little charter jet? I don't think there's any demand. What? I've got no business being anywhere else. There's about 5,000 people living there. I don't really know what happens there, but it's just a very, very fascinating place. And then there was another one,

and wasn't there around there? It might have even there was another island, wasn't there, around there. It might have even been St Helena where Napoleon was exiled to. Right. How did he get there then? That's a long exile, isn't it? I guess he sailed there. Yeah. I have no idea, but he was exiled to St Helena. Yeah, looking up here, 15th of October, 1815,

10 weeks at sea on board the HMS Northumberland. Interesting you should talk about Napoleon. Keep him out of trouble, wouldn't it? Exiled in, whatever. Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't mind an exiling, personally. A bit of peace and quiet. Yeah, as long as I can take my stuff with me, I'd get the video game

Cruise for a Corpse finished which I started about three months ago that's not getting finished any time soon I would get the things I would get all my stuff done

I'd get all my washing done I'd have a lovely time I'd love an exiling how do you get exiled in this day and age don't you can they used to take you to the state

the county limit or the state limit in the US didn't they and in the UK you used to um take you to the state the county limit the state limit in the u.s didn't they and in the uk um he used to just literally get banned from the city didn't you in england don't come back to the city you're out of here get out of here you're not coming back that's that seems like a pretty so i was for example the world would unquestionably be a better place if people still had the power to say to say you know all the stuff boris johnson's been up to right he's not going to get in trouble

for that realistically is he i mean he's been deleting whatsapp messages he's taking the piss he's been a complete prick the whole time right yeah tell me the world wouldn't be better if there was some authority that was able just to say right you're fucking banned from london you're never coming back in london ever again so if you want to go and live in fucking the us that's up to you because you're an american citizen or whatever if you want to go and live in you know newport pagnol you can but you're never setting foot in london again i reckon it would sort a lot of our problems out yeah i mean but he'd get like his mates to somehow um to like somehow like get the lines of London redrawn so that Mayfair isn't part of it.

You know what I mean? The independent republic of Mayfair? Exactly, yeah. He'd get some kind of exemption. The People's Democratic Republic of Belgravia. Imagine having diplomatic plates just to go to cash converters in Mayfair. I just think banning people from cities

is long since past, but it should be back. Yeah, completely agree. I'll be happily banned from Southampton. Anyway, let's go, Peter. Let's get out of here. We'll join our lovely listeners again on Monday, won't we? So we look forward to that. Alright then. We'll be back then.

Have a lovely time with your friends, family, if you're just staying alone, good on you. Good idea. And on Monday, it'll be New Year's Day. Yes. So lots to talk about. Start the year right. See you then, guys.

Ta-ta. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network. show is a stack production and part of the ACAST creator network. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.