The Luke and Pete Show - The kids are alright?

Episode Date: July 3, 2023

News has reached us that KSI and Logan Paul have had bottles of Prime thrown at them. Is our protest finally working?On a related note, Pete takes time on today's show to applaud the creativity of the... Grimace milkshake TikTok trend and we receive an email that explains that the conspiracy theory Pete made up might actually be true...Want to get in touch with the show? Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on Twitter or Instagram: @lukeandpeteshow.We're also now on Tiktok! Follow us @thelukeandpeteshow. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Monday the 3rd of July It's the Luke and Pete Show I'm Pete Donaldson And I'm joined by Mr. Lukey Moore And I promised you White Hot Cautia
Starting point is 00:00:19 Mobile Phone Chat Luke Did you know that you can buy Cautia certified mobile phones? Because I fucking didn't and I want one. And what's the difference?
Starting point is 00:00:29 How does it work? You can't have text messages. You can't have a camera. You can't have the internet. It's just a phone. What does phony stuff? But you get a little Cautia certified logo on the front. So they've basically just reinvented a phone.
Starting point is 00:00:42 I don't even think they've done that to me. I think they've just limited an existing mobile phone. Oh, yeah. Slapped a logo on it and sold it for well over what it's worth. Yeah. Part of me, there's definitely a part in me, probably buried quite deeply in me these days, that quite likes the idea of moving to a very bucolic rural place.
Starting point is 00:01:02 Right. And living a quiet life. Yeah. And in this fantasy. live in a quiet life. Yeah. And in this fantasy... Becoming a Hasidic Jew, unbelievably. No, no. That's confusing. Well, don't discount it.
Starting point is 00:01:11 Hugely respectful of all religions. Hugely respectful. But I... Everyone's got this kind of idea about something they would do that's never going to happen, but, you know, is the opposite to what they currently do, right?
Starting point is 00:01:21 Right. That's just part of the human condition. And within that kind of fantasy, I don't have a mobile phone right okay i'm not bothered i don't want to speak to i don't want to speak to people yeah i like the idea of you know like what um steve mason of the beta band did or well to be fair that was you know mostly fueled by serious mental health problems so maybe not that yeah yeah i do think that if you didn't talk to somebody for like a while, I mean, you wouldn't survive. You just wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:01:51 I'm not saying I'm not talking to anyone. I'm obviously talking to my wife. Right. And my family. Well, she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't want to know. She wouldn't be interested in that. But I'll tell you, there's a better example.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I believe I'm writing saying the great George Orwell right Eric Blair as his mum called him the excellent George Orwell yeah he's written a few written a few
Starting point is 00:02:11 written a few he used to I think decamp to the Isle of Jura off the west coast of Scotland to do all his novel writing I do fancy that kind of thing
Starting point is 00:02:21 we all say we've got a book in them book in us mate I'd love give us two months that kind of thing we all say we've got a buck in them bucking us mate I'd love give us two months in a
Starting point is 00:02:29 stinking bed sit two months in a stinking bed sit why are you in a stinking bed sit I'd say the island of Jura a beautiful western Scottish island and you've taken that I want to be in fucking Japan I want to be in the fucking hustle and the bustle
Starting point is 00:02:41 I want to see people with fucking I don't know face masks getting pissed that's what I want to see that's the opposite of what I'm saying what I want to be in the fucking hustle and the bustle. I want to see people with fucking, I don't know, face masks getting pissed. That's what I want to see. That's the opposite of what I'm saying. What I want to see. It's the opposite of what I'm saying, Peter.
Starting point is 00:02:50 I want to hear the hum of the neon lights. I want to hear the rumble of the fucking tube station. I want the filth. I want the choking atmosphere. Yes. So it makes sense then because you're talking about the opposite of what you've currently got on a Leoncee, suburban bliss. Yeah, I suppose so.
Starting point is 00:03:06 The urban paradise. Because you're in London, you're kind of, yeah, you're vibing with something different. But Allwell did used to go there and do that. And what I'm saying is in that situation, I quite like the idea of not being bothered. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:19 Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Because I think one of the things that happens, what I found about being a father, is that you're forced to take every day as it comes right you can't plan really what's going to happen in six months time whatever i mean you can plan things as you can physically plan i'm going to go on holiday whatever you can't really afford to think about it so it makes you live in the moment a bit more because obviously a day for a newborn baby is a lot longer as a proportion of life than it would be for you or I. So it actually makes you
Starting point is 00:03:46 slow down a bit. I guess you are used to being you know they say like how despotic regimes manage to get more stuff done because they can just do it and they know they're going to be in power for 10 years. They're not being held accountable yeah. Yeah and they're not being held accountable for getting things wrong because they don't get
Starting point is 00:04:02 voted in and voted out. So you were a display maniac for most of your life and you could put building blocks in place that you can kind of arrange for something to happen in a few months time. But now you're very much fighting fires, spinning plates. Or to put it another way, I usually do everything my wife wanted me to do.
Starting point is 00:04:21 Now I do everything that my son forces me to do. You're just basically listening to smaller and smaller people aren't you really yeah you're gonna be listening to little ants i'll carry that leaf over there luke i will yeah i will yeah i've been further and further down the list of people in this house that are respected yeah exactly my wife at the top yeah no for the baby at the top now they're my wife they're both my cats and now me yeah i'm right at the bottom of the pile. You're a wreck. You've got a seed, Luke, and I like it.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Yeah. I've always been a wreck in a way. I've just kind of fought against it. I just can't fight against it anymore, basically. Because you've always embraced it. Yeah. Some days I'm a wreck. Some days I look all right.
Starting point is 00:05:01 By the way, speaking of which, how's your health? Relatively good, actually. Drinking more water, happier, more productive. I'm not really sort of doing any exercise above playing football every week. And even then, I'm not working that hard. I would like to look a bit better physically. Wouldn't we all? Oh, dear.
Starting point is 00:05:24 I've got to the stage where I hate looking at the social media videos of all of our shows. Yeah, but, like, your face hasn't changed. It doesn't make any difference. Look at that. No, it hasn't. Jesus Christ. Look at that. You had that before.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Oh, fuck off. And also the lighting in the studio is perfect. Describe to the listeners what I'm doing now. Grabbing all your waddle. Is it a waddle? It's a waddle, not a waddle. Waddle. Waddle.
Starting point is 00:05:47 It's a made-up name anyway. Bloody hell. It's a waddle. It's a turkey. What's the thing that used to go around your necktie in Cubs? What was that? A waddle. Was that a woggle?
Starting point is 00:05:56 A woggle. So that was a woggle. That's a waddle, apparently. And then we got... So what's a waddle, then? Exactly. It's a walk. It's a walk.
Starting point is 00:06:04 That is true. Well, you waddle walks when you waddle. So you waddle then? It's a walk. It's a walk, that's true. Well, you waddle waddles when you waddle, so get a waddle on it. No! Fuck! Do it again, do it again. I can't, I can't. You waddle waddles when you waddle, so get a waddle on it. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Tied you up a bit. Nice. Imagine you started dressing like a Boy Scout. Well. You suddenly just decided that that whole look, short trousers, those weird little garters
Starting point is 00:06:33 you've got to wear in your grey socks. I think that would look cool. The more you describe like a Boy Scout's uniform, the more you think Lord Baden-Powell, what were you playing at?
Starting point is 00:06:44 I mean, that's certainly a question that a lot of authorities should have been asking personally. He's dead now, by the way. He's dead now, so you can say whatever you want. He's dead now, so you can't say anything. Yeah. Kinky Lord Baden-Powell. I'll tell you what. Do you know who I didn't realise was the fucking daughter of an aristocrat?
Starting point is 00:06:59 Go on. I've forgotten. I've forgotten what were the two two women in the early noughties they used to do Sunday lunch I think they used to do Sunday lunch
Starting point is 00:07:16 Mel and Sue Mel Gidroy daughter of a fucking aristocrat they're all over the fucking place Louis Theroux son of a celebrated fucking this and that writer it's all just fucking we're all just the fucking place. Louis Theroux, son of a celebrated fucking this and that writer. It's all just fucking, we're all just being told what to do by absolute maniac, rich maniacs.
Starting point is 00:07:32 I had a bit of that as well. Not having it. Literally yesterday, because I flicked on the one show and Phoebe Waller-Bridge was on it. Yeah. Daughter of a baronet or whatever. Yeah. And I thought, I'm not having this. So I flicked over onto House of Games
Starting point is 00:07:46 comedian Ivo Graham was on it I said oh Ivo Graham I think I've heard of him before he does that really bad football show on BT Sport I'll click on it I'll click on him on Wikipedia Eton it's everywhere
Starting point is 00:08:01 it's insipid yeah I didn't know that about Melrose Rich. I know that she went to... I know she was Oxford educated. Got a 2-2, though. I was also on her Wikipedia being absolutely fuming. 2-2? Come on.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Come on. Come on. You're at Cambridge. Come on. I got a 2-2 in an ex-poly. But there were reasons for that. But that's worse, isn't it? I was being a fucking bat. What? That's worse's worse, isn't it? I was being a fucking bat.
Starting point is 00:08:25 What? That's worse, though, isn't it? No, I treated that course with the respect it deserved. What was the course? Multi-media design. So I told you before, it was hardcore C programming, SQL programming, and then the next day would be drawn nudie men.
Starting point is 00:08:43 It was a mess. It was just a module from here and a module from there just making them up wasn't it just making them up, they didn't really know where the internet was going to go so they were just like and all the useful stuff I just learnt myself, 3D studio, director
Starting point is 00:08:58 flash, all that stuff, I just teach myself because obviously when you're at university you're not being taught by the bleeding edge of technicians. People who've gone out to seed normally. Yeah, it's people who kind of, you know, have got to certain states and they go, all right, okay, well, I can teach this part. I can teach the fundamentals.
Starting point is 00:09:15 But the actual bleeding is you've got to go out there and experience yourself. And that's why I can't do it too because that wasn't the course. I think you and I have been very disrespectful of the teaching profession now. I have, yeah. And I'll do it again. I've told my sister. Obviously, I'm an extraordinarily well-educated young man,
Starting point is 00:09:32 thrusting young executive. And the people who taught me were all excellent. Actually, there was one person who wasn't that good. Everyone else was brilliant. Really? Yeah. That's interesting. There was some absolute...
Starting point is 00:09:43 I mean, I think because it was a Catholic school as well, there was a lot of people who sort of clambered into the teaching profession through the church at our school and they were notable by how poor they were at teaching, I seem to recall. I mean, there's lots of nuns kicking around. It's like, well, why is there a nun here? They've got no reason to be here.
Starting point is 00:10:03 They're not doing anything. They're just cutting about. Yeah, cutting about being really stern. Yeah, well not even that. Just a bit haunted. Sister Gertrude, what were you about? Just hanging around.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Is she still knocking about? God, no. As a fucking ghost, yeah. She looked like one when she was alive. You'd have thought that she was old, but she was probably about 30. She probably was about 30. I saw one of my teachers from, I think, year four.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Yeah. So for our American friends, fourth grade. And it was in the supermarket about five years ago. So bear in mind that she would have taught me the best part of 30 years ago. So bear in mind that she would have taught me the best part of 30 years ago, and she looked exactly the same. It's good stuff. When I was a kid, I thought she was so old.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Yeah, she would have been 25 or something. But I even had that when I went to college the first time, did an HND, and there was a graduation involved. I got really in my head about it as quite a troubled young man i got a bit of a i really wanted my nan and granddad to to um to come to the graduation oh that's nice but i got in my head about they might be too old and they would and they would pass away before right i graduated from that college in 2002 at which point which point my granddad was 70.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Right, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. So it wasn't like an old age. I mean, I'm not saying people don't die at 70, because of course they do, but it's not really an old age thing, is it? No, no. I mean, he's still alive now. He's 91. I know, I know.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Yeah, so anyway, what I was going to say was, in the deep distant past then, Peter, we were talking about the Scouts. I was actually in the Sea Scouts for a year. Oh, right, yeah. What did you learn? Ropes? I tell you what, you know what would be quite useful? I know some fucking ropes. Because every time I have to tie a knot in something, I am left wanting.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Well, it's astonishing how many different types of knot there are. Yeah. I've forgotten all of them, but we must have learned about 25. I like the forbidden knot. You're not allowed to carry... You know those like... Something I'm seeing on the end of curtain rails or curtain tie-ups. Those like little ball knots.
Starting point is 00:12:12 And it's forbidden to do. It's the legal knot. Why is it forbidden? Because you can put like a heavy lead weight in and hit someone with it. It's a naughty knot for naughty boys. That's government overreach, isn't it? That's government overreach.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Yeah, but like, you know, like the really, really old school 1700s kind of government overreach. You'd be excited about anything, couldn't you? Yeah. The forbidden leg of lamb. Libertarian, Luke.
Starting point is 00:12:40 I don't think it's libertarian that people should be able to do whatever knots they want with rope. That's not libertarian is it if they just talked about rope I'd find them a lot more palatable for crying out loud there was so many knots I remember the reason I said the sea scouts thing is because the woggle thing
Starting point is 00:12:55 reminded me of it because in the sea scouts you don't have a woggle you have to tie your own neckerchief ah because you are not people yeah nice I like that because you're not people and we got so many knots and I don't remember any of them, but one of them was just a knot to make the rope shorter. Right, okay. So you're basically folding it over itself a lot of times.
Starting point is 00:13:15 Right, okay. And then knotting it in a way that it doesn't lose any of its strength, basically. Nice, okay, cool. One of it was like, there's a really good one. I can't remember the name of it now. You're just listing cool knots. No, I'll tell you, this was the best one. Right, I can remember. This is to replace our bat read section, cool. One of it was like, there's a really good one. I can't remember the name of it now. You're just listing cool knots. No, this was the best one. Right, I can remember.
Starting point is 00:13:27 This is to replace our bat read section, knots. Could do. What's your best knot? People should get in touch about it. I mean, it's an untapped scene. Yeah, have you ever had trouble with a knot? What's your best knot? Can I just tell you a knot that you would absolutely love?
Starting point is 00:13:38 Okay. And it comes from when people used to tie their horses up. Right. So normally, there would be a stake in the ground, right? And you'd tie your horse to it. Yeah. A hitching post. Basically, exactly exactly that there's a knot you can do can't remember the name of it can't remember how to do it but it ends up with a knot where if you pull one part side of the rope the more you pull it it gets tighter and tighter right the other one you pull it instantly releases it yes so if you need to get away quick you could just pull it yeah nice like it big fan of that let's never own the horse
Starting point is 00:14:12 never remember how to do the knot never gonna know what it's called uh but it is i remember that at the time thinking that's at least an interesting knot the other thing about how you tie your um how you tie your boat up how you tie your um yeah your knots for your your sheets on your sails and stuff like that but to have like when i'm um sewing i do quite a lot of trouser repair because i'm a man who's putting a bit of weight recently um but you also you wear your trousers really tight yeah yeah and uh i um to start the kind of sewing process you've got to tie a knot. And can I tie a knot that precludes it from slipping through the fabric of the trouser that I'm trying to stitch?
Starting point is 00:14:50 I cannot. It's impossible. I just cannot do it. And it would only take me five minutes on YouTube to learn a knot on how to do it. But I'm never going to do it. Never going to do it. It's a good skill to have, though, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:15:01 It's a lovely skill to have. I think, yeah. I can sew fine. I just can't not. So some of the male members of my wife's family are good outdoorsy types. Yeah. And as part of that,
Starting point is 00:15:12 they know how to fix clothes and stuff. And Mimi's younger brother is actually really good at it. I'm very much a fan of making things. Because nowadays with fast fashion, it's not particularly well made stuff so they just fall apart um sooner rather than later but you i think it's important to at least have a crack at fixing it once or twice yeah definitely do you think um ksi and logan paul do that i think they probably just have a fire going in there um front it doesn't
Starting point is 00:15:43 what doesn't um logan pa Paul live in Bermuda? No, he lives somewhere like Costa Rica. He lives in an island, his own island, I think, in the middle of nowhere. I don't think he owns Costa Rica, Pete. No, I don't think he owns Costa Rica, but if the Costa Rican government they would hand it over for cash the way that they're
Starting point is 00:15:59 handing out massive amounts of lands to entrepreneurs. Apparently they've got a house in Puerto Rico. Right. It's a gated community, though. Yeah, okay, alright. Well, I thought it was an island off the coast of... But it's very much a gated community on the... You know, the Prime Minister
Starting point is 00:16:16 lives in a gated community on an island in London. The Isle of Dogs. Tiny island, because he's a tiny man. Yeah. So they were on stage and people were throwing bottles of Prime at them. I couldn't work, because I'm so old, I couldn't work out if it was a compliment or a protest. I think it was a compliment.
Starting point is 00:16:35 I don't think they were really unhappy about the new flavour that they'd released. I think it was very much a work. I think that they asked them to throw bottles of prime, which must be annoying if you are just a person who rents out lights or televisions or basically just work security for wherever they were. Were they in Nottingham, I think? Yeah. Why do... So when I was a kid, I used to get obsessed with stuff
Starting point is 00:16:59 because that's one of the things. So I used to love certain things like, I don't know, Guns N' Roses would be a good one. Yeah. I used to love Teen things like i don't know guns of guns and roses would be a good one yeah um i used to love teenage mutant ninja turtles when i was a bit younger i used to love lego i used to have i used to have interest yeah but i don't know why young people now will just do whatever these people say it happened with mr beast as well didn't it yeah just do anything that the people say to do they just do it but it's like a mixture of
Starting point is 00:17:28 people who are in the fandom of like they're almost disciples aren't they I suppose they'll do whatever but I mean if you were on stage and someone asked you to throw something on stage you would do it wouldn't you for a laugh I remember
Starting point is 00:17:43 my favourite bit of any festival ever was Reading Festival, the Concrete Jungle stage, the band Midtown were on, I've told this story before. The lead singer shouted, has anyone got any gum? Little did he know that walking into the main arena that morning, they were handing out like three or four boxes of chewing gum each. So everyone had chewing gum in their pockets.
Starting point is 00:18:05 And what followed was a torrent raining down of pieces of chewing gum. It was brilliant. But that is kind of the vibe at the moment. Did you see that Pink was on stage and somebody handed her a big wheel of cheese? Somebody threw their mother's ashes on her? Yeah, that's a bit much. It's a bit much. Don't get it on the cheese for crying out loud.
Starting point is 00:18:24 What's the reason for that? What is the reason? Well, I don't know. Maybe the mum really loved a bit much. It's a bit much. Don't get it on the cheese for crying out loud. What's the reason for that? What is the reason? Well, I don't know. Maybe the mum really loved a bit of pink. I told you someone I know once stole some ashes from someone. Stole? What business do they have doing that? Because they're obsessed with that person who died.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Oh, what? They stole... They said, give me the... I'm going to grab... Yeah, so they stole... They secretly stole some of the they kidnapped took them home with them some of I think yeah
Starting point is 00:18:47 I think so oh lord and then they had to return them surreptitiously that is grim which they then did I think right okay and no one knows about it
Starting point is 00:18:54 so I can't name them good I mean it's pretty grim isn't it but like it's one of those stories where they said to me oh yeah and it's like quite embarrassing they're talking about them doing it like 20 years ago
Starting point is 00:19:02 and they said it's quite embarrassing and obviously I'm someone who I think I think I'm someone who's quite embarrassing. They're talking about them doing it like 20 years ago and it's quite embarrassing. And obviously I'm someone who I think, I think I'm someone who's quite at ease in most conversations. So I don't think, I actually think the part of the reason they told me is because they would be like, oh, right. I think I would probably turn to ashes
Starting point is 00:19:15 if I had to deal with the fallout of that conversation. The fact that it was me that didn't know what to say made it worse. So I never shut up normally. I was just a bit like, that's a bit much. Please don't steal my ashes. No, but I put them back. I put them back.
Starting point is 00:19:29 I said, okay, yeah. But at the very best case scenario, that makes it neutral. That's not even neutral. Because it's happened, hasn't it? It's happened. You've done it. I guess it depends on your philosophical outlook. Because if you think, oh, once you're dead, you're dead,
Starting point is 00:19:41 it doesn't really matter, does it? Yeah. Well, I mean, it's very much what the... It's not about what you feel. I guess it's the dead person. They must have had a pretty strong policy. Everyone take a dab if you want. What about when everyone threw stuff at Daphne and Celeste at Reading?
Starting point is 00:19:55 I remember that. Yeah, but I mean, like, yeah. But there was a person who threw a mobile phone at an act this week and it bonked off her head and she had a really black eye. Oh, it's not good, is it? It's not great, but the guy was like,
Starting point is 00:20:10 I just thought it would be a laugh and I was going, I mean, you need to explain that. You need to explain... There were two things that happened this week. There was a lot of these instances of people throwing stuff at musical acts and then there was the uh grimace
Starting point is 00:20:25 um video um tiktok craze have you seen the have you seen this no it's uh mcdonald's have started a grimace flavored or celebratory um uh milkshake and it's bright purple i'm not really sure what it tastes of raspberry maybe and um it's basically Grimace is 50 years old or whatever the fuck. And so they've made this purple milkshake in celebration. And these kids are doing these TikToks where they'll go, oh, happy birthday, Grimace. I'm just going to try this new Grimace-flavored milkshake from McDonald's. And they just cut.
Starting point is 00:21:01 And the person's dead. And there's milkshake everywhere. And everyone's doing really funny bits all these kids are doing really funny grimace bits um and it just shows how fucking funny the kids are but then there's kids who'll decide to just throw phones at people it's your phone you're gonna get in trouble yeah don't boast about it afterwards it's brilliant it happened it happened with 50 cent didn't it a reading festival as well right okay yeah he came on stage everyone started throwing bottles at him yeah and then i think the thing that the straw that broke the camel's back but i think someone threw like a
Starting point is 00:21:33 camping chair and it hit him or one of his mates and they just left yeah there's a point of that and the reason the thing the thing about that obviously it's 20 years ago so you know i'm sure times were a little bit different then but there was a big feeling at the time, I remember, that they were getting this treatment because people thought there shouldn't be a rap artist at Reading. All right, okay. Yeah, but that was kind of like, that was always going to happen because Reading was seen as this kind of like
Starting point is 00:22:02 gree-boy kind of metal festival and people were just absolutely pathetic about it forgetting that you know Eminem and all those kind of acts had played some time before
Starting point is 00:22:12 like it that that was yeah people I remember people getting really upset about that to the degree that you don't really sort of see anymore because
Starting point is 00:22:21 there's loads of like rap acts that have headlined well I wonder why that was why at Glastonbury last weekend before last the the crowd looks so far away from the stages
Starting point is 00:22:29 right okay yeah well the main stage it's always been like that but in some of the smaller tents it looks so far away I remember being I've literally been at the front a smaller tent at Glastonbury and been right next to the stage and that doesn't seem to be the case now well I saw with with Glastonbury certainly the message next to the stage. And that doesn't seem to be the case now. Well, I saw with Glastonbury,
Starting point is 00:22:46 you had almost like a VIP area. Yeah, I saw that as well. That never happened before. But I think that might, I mean, they can't do VIP areas at those festivals. They just can't. They don't officially do it. But I've seen some people I know
Starting point is 00:22:59 who have got a bit of a public profile. I've seen, I saw quite a lot of social media posts from people who are living basically in the lap of luxury at Glastonbury. By the way,
Starting point is 00:23:11 also, most of them have shown absolutely no interest in music whatsoever. Right. Which is really how you know that Glastonbury's become properly mainstream now.
Starting point is 00:23:18 Yeah. Anyway, let's have a break because we've got to take one because Rory's going to be on our back again. Yeah. And then we should just
Starting point is 00:23:23 squeeze a couple of emails in before we go, mate. All right, let's do it. We're back with a little Pete show and we're going to finish off the show with a couple of quick emails. Hammy. Hello, Hammy. Thank you for getting in touch. Greetings from Germany.
Starting point is 00:23:36 Hammy says, Dear Luke and Pete, I have at least two more emails I have to send in, but I'm trying to be as close to the last release as possible. I had a right old laugh on Thursday when Pete decided that he wanted to get into the conspiracy game by saying that all giraffes are gay. Yeah, that was a good one. Because I do not know a lot about giraffes, but learned from the Vlogbrothers, Hank and John Green,
Starting point is 00:23:55 YouTubers since 2007, thank you, that only about 9% of giraffe sex is actually heterosexual. Wow, you hit on something there. The fact that Pete blurted out as one of the most outlandish things he could think of and actually says something that is true was hilarious to me. When I need to argue against homosexuality being unnatural,
Starting point is 00:24:14 I always go over the examples of giraffes mostly having gay sex and penguins raising babies in homosexual relationships. So it is natural. You didn't need to say that last bit. Don't clip that. So it is natural you didn't need to say that last last bit don't clip that um so it is natural actually um anyway i hope you find uh this fun fact is giggling as i did and i'll try to come around and send my batteries and my email about berlin sex clubs for a throwback to three years ago or something berlin sex clubs gives you bloody emails for crying out loud i want to know
Starting point is 00:24:43 what goes on in there i'm too scared to go in. You don't get in either. You get turned away. Don't get in. No, it wasn't. It was just a third rate bug in. I wasn't allowed in. That's worse. You've made the story worse. That is worse. I was wearing a suit. No suits. Basically, you turned up. They said, not tonight, Matt. And you went, there's literally no one else here. This is a third rate bug in, sir. Let me in. You can't do that policy if you haven't got any business. Thank you for that, Hammy. Absolutely. And Andy, I'll follow up with an email from Andy who says,
Starting point is 00:25:13 Hi, both. I'll draw your attention to the Reddit thread, Low Stakes Conspiracies for some non-offensive and potentially monetizable things Pete could get behind. Some of my favorites are following women's clothing doesn't actually include pockets as fashion is in the pocket of big handbags right but then i mean that is definitely the kind of conspiracy theory that's been generated by a man who on the internet who's never spoken to a woman because that's just a weird one. Next one, farmers are genetically modifying the size of peas
Starting point is 00:25:46 so that they are bigger and bigger, while at the same time owning toothpaste companies as fronts. Thus, over time, people consume bigger pea-sized toothpaste squirts each day, doubling the farmer's profits. That's a really imaginative one, because of course, I don't know if that's the case in other countries,
Starting point is 00:26:01 but in the UK, it does say on the back of a toothpaste tube a pea-sized amount. Yeah. Do you not think that, like, you know, like back in the day when Aqua Fresh was for your family, Adverts were on, you'd see the toothpaste come out of the toothpaste tube and it would go on a toothbrush.
Starting point is 00:26:17 But the toothbrush, obviously, back in the day was quite long because it wasn't an electric toothbrush. But now electric toothbrushes, they're small and circular, so you can only fit a pea-sized amount on. I think that's why they're that shaped, isn't it? To help you know what size toothpaste to put on. I think it's just easy to get in and out, and also rotational. You couldn't have one the size of the Fritids.
Starting point is 00:26:37 No, because not all of them are circular. What do you mean? I've had an electric toothbrush. All right, some of them are classically kind of, but the ones that rotate, the ones that you would see, the ones that you get in the dentist, they're circular and they go in a circle. But do you not think that that's literally half
Starting point is 00:26:52 of the amount of toothpaste you would usually use? Because I would use twice as much usually. Yeah. I think I'm pretty consistent with my amount that I use. Good. Is that where we've got to on this podcast? Yeah. The final conspiracy sent in by Andy,
Starting point is 00:27:04 which is one much more up your street, is graphic processing units slash chip making companies are behind the recent rise in AI reports in the news to help replace sales lost now that crypto has been investigated regularly by the SEC. I don't really understand that. I like that very much. Well, I had stocks in NVIDIA about two years ago,
Starting point is 00:27:24 and I was like, their AI sound stuff is fucking amazing, you you know for zoom calls and stuff like that yeah and their ai uh processing that you do on on digital um meetings and stuff it's absolutely amazing and that's only going to get better and that's going to be some really valuable um technology ai technology and um and then i bought a house so i had to sell all my stocks and dissolve all my Bitcoin into dollars at a time where you did not get any value out of them. And now NVIDIA, I think, just made a billion dollars. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:54 So they're another... And you were the 70% stakeholder, weren't you? How much is a trillion? Like, are there many trillion-dollar companies? Apple are one, aren't they? All right, well, yeah. I think they're a trillion-dollar company then, yeah. I think they've made a trillion dollars. Yeah, right well yeah i think they're a trillion dollar company then yeah i think that they've made a trillion dollars yeah microsoft are oh they're a trillion dollar company google one is alphabet isn't it amazon as well their share
Starting point is 00:28:12 price went all right yeah well their share price went briefly over a trillion i'm not very ambitious am i a billion dollars um yeah trillion dollars and uh yeah probably could have made a small amount of money out of that but um never mind but My kind of, I suppose, conspiracy theory type of thing around AI is just that it's getting a lot more attention because it threatens white-collar jobs. Yes. It threatens exactly the kind of jobs that people who are paid to talk about it or work on it are worried about.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Yeah. People turning in some very pedestrian, you know, writing, getting replaced by something that can do it for free. I'd be very upset. Yeah, I mean... And let's face it, I mean, they can very easily replace us. Yeah. Well, they can't very easily replace us, Pete,
Starting point is 00:28:56 because our chemistry and our love is unique. It is unique. The final one from Andy. Bill Gates released a pandemic not to put microchips in us, but to force us all to use Microsoft Teams. Yeah. It always fills my heart with joy when Microsoft Teams is on the horizon for a meeting.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Ugh. I got a fairly new laptop and the other day I had a meeting, I literally could just simply could not attend. Because Microsoft Teams on a Mac is so tough. Do it in the browser. Do it in the browser. he could just simply could not attend could not get in because Microsoft Teams on a Mac is so tough yeah it kept sending me some weird login things
Starting point is 00:29:27 do it in the browser do it in the browser yeah I always will going forward I always will mate alright let's get out of here let's go lead us not into temptation
Starting point is 00:29:35 but lead us into the end of this show yeah deliver us from evil send us an email hello at lukeandpeteshow.com you can get us on TikTok, Instagram
Starting point is 00:29:42 or Twitter see you later Lukey Moore we'll're back on Thursday. Bye. Bye. The Luke and Pete Show is a Stack production and part of the Acast Creator Network.

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