The Nick DiPaolo Show - Cheatle Resigns In Shame | Nick Di Paolo Show #1602

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Cheatle's resignation, Dead Crooks and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing What's your fat fucking mouth? Take it easy. Polly, take it easy. Take it easy. How are you, folks? It's a Wednesday. It's a Wednesday. No, don't even pause it. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Paulie take it easy take it easy How are you folks? It's a Wednesday

It's a Wednesday No, don't even pause it. I'm just happy to start in a smoke again. I'm getting worried We don't need to Cancer patients in here. All right. How are you folks? little dark humor right up front for you What is better than that Forsyth Park dude huh I went I came in here worked out yesterday actually lifted the older you get the less you want them as Jimmy Tangle said about lifting weights or fucking things are heavy I forced myself but then after that it was a good 40

minute lift and then I walked around Forsythe, the whole, you know, the lap for about an hour and nobody out there, really. You know, I guess I know the weekends, it's nuts. I see people, but Jesus, I got to finally get the headphones off. I told you I have my inner ears are abnormal. I've never they've never found any plugs that can stay in my. I think it's my left ear. It must be fucked up different whether I'm on a TV show or it just won't stay it. So for the last 20 years I've been you know going on walks going on a run the fucking things with funny I go what

am I doing go buy the fucking real headphones that Jay-Z uses man when he's copping pussy up and I'm I'm can I say that on YouTube yeah I think I can I just did anyways yeah so get the fucking tunes crank it in just pleasant and I was on I was like I got addicted for one day to the internet because I kept going on X and seeing these headlines about Kamala Harris being the greatest thing I couldn't help it and all these people going all the shit that Biden did for us one of the greatest I can't help it. I can't fucking help myself. Doesn't matter if it was a retarded fifth grade girl or

a politician on the left or an anchor I can't fucking help myself and I was just you know fighting every and had good singers. Really good ones focused on me. Well, yeah, they're jerking her off hard. Oh, dude, it hasn't even begun yet. She is superwoman. And the thing about it is nobody, even on the left, they liked her.

Do you remember? All the polls, including everybody, they couldn't stand her. All of a sudden now they have, and they turned it around in 24 hours. Does that sound like an organic thing that happened or are you just going, we have to get behind her? We have to get behind her. Good luck, good luck with that because she's fucking retarded and it's all gonna come out and the more that longer this goes on you'll see her doing her dappy word salads and shit and

this is where DEI has taken us they have to be horrified especially after this i'm gonna get to her in a second this friggin' Kim Cheadle head of the SS uh... resigning yesterday in disgrace that is DEI failure at the highest fucking level

and what's their move to bring in a fucking the first woman of color and this is where we're at not to mention I don't see enough people still talking about the assassination attempt they should grill her on that. But there's one question. I'm already getting into her story.

Eh, fuck it. Let's, I don't even know where I am. Here's the headline about Kim Cheadle. SSDEI hire resigns. U.S. Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheadle resigned Tuesday amid widespread outrage over her agency's failure to prevent the attempted assassination of former President Donald Trump at a Pennsylvania campaign rally earlier this month. Yeah make it sound like it's a fucking year ago. I'm telling

these people. Bob White dickhead. Cheadle I'm telling, she reminds me of a tired Ozzy Osbourne in his 50s. Cheadle's resignation, which was first reported by NBC News citing sources, came a day, it was so bad that even NBC News couldn't spin it, came a day after she was blasted by members of a House committee at a hearing on the Secret Service's actions leading up to Trump's July 13th rally in Butler. Cheadle rejected calls at the hearing to resign, saying she was the best qualified person to head the Secret Service. Can you imagine even the guys that work under her going, how fucking dare you, which is responsible for protecting the president, vice president, their family members, and

leading presidential candidates. She said she wasn't going to resign, remember? She fucking said it the day before. And why wasn't she fired? The director angered members of the House Oversight Accountability Committee by refusing to answer many questions about the Secret Service's actions surrounding the Trump rally. I don't know nothing about that. That was every fucking answer she gave.

On Tuesday, Cheadle, in a letter, wrote to Secret Service staff. And in light of recent events, that must be embarrassing. It is with a heavy heart. You don't have a heart. You got a fucking. Coal. Yes, you got a coal.

I have made the difficult, yeah real difficult, first of all you shouldn't be making it. I have made the difficult decision to step down as your new director. The Secret Service's solemn mission, this is her speaking still, is to protect our national leaders and financial infrastructure. What? On July 13, we fell short on that mission. Do you think? I don't know how I missed the sound effects there. Cheadle, who served the agency for nearly 30 years. The scrutiny over the last week has been intense

and will continue to remain as our operational tempo increases," she wrote. What, is she directing a band now? What the fuck? As your director, I take full responsibility for the security lapse. Yeah. No shit. It's like in a baseball game when the guy makes a blatant error and then he points to

himself on me. Yeah, you don't have to tell us that the whole fucking world So Homeland Security Alejandro Mayorkas, I don't know how he's still alive appointed Secret Service Deputy Director Ronnie Rowe to serve as Acting director for the alien and the other thing we don't all right, whatever. I got I have to see his Resume, what was he guarding before this peaches at a bodega? I to see his resume. What was he guarding before this? Peaches at a bodega? I mean, some people are good, like the ones that dove on Trump, they did their jobs and they put their cells, but that's got nothing to do with a big picture. Ronald wrote to serve as acting director for the agency until a permanent director is selected by President Joe Biden. He'll have as much to do with that decision as he did with

Leaving and now that she's resigned everything goes back to normal. We're gonna try to bury it focus on Kamala Well, yeah, but that's not gonna happen this time. It's gonna be fucking It's gonna be in there. I mean because we're a couple of months left in the campaign that shit has to be out front and say I mean you got to do both is what I'm saying but that one I would stay on that forever I would come out of us Trump or his people vote for him because you try to kill him isn't that enough he over came that you try to arrest him you try to kill him all you Americans every one both sides you know you can't agree that's amazing go fuck yourself.

What has she done? What has she ever done? What has she done since she's been elected? Yeah, that's cleaning up the border right now for her first visit. Yes, I saw that. It's scrubbing the border. Get rid of all those fucking unbelievable. What more do you need to know about your government, folks?

And again, it's the left More so I know all politicians you're like, but come on at least one party pretends to love the country Know what I'm saying? Anyways, let's move on to dead crooks. You think that's plural? No, I mean one kid Tommy crooks. Good looking kid. Oh, I burnt my mouth. That was a piece of skin from the roof. Too much. I still do that. I have, I told this story before too, when I was working at my uncle's machine shop in high school.

You know, had a fucking like a half hour lunch break. I run to a pizza place and order a small pizza. I get it with two minutes left in my lunch break. This flames coming off it. It's right out of the fucking oven. I fucking ate all but one slice. I was spitting blood on the way back to work. I go to my dentist who was my girlfriend's dad at the time. I open my mouth he goes Jesus H He goes I've been doing this for 30 something years. I have never seen a mouth burn like that. I Put some pizza. I'm a guinea. I love it What do you want for me Now the skin goes one way the mouth goes

What do you want from me? Now the skin goes one way the mouth goes Anyways dead crooks new body camera video showing the moments after a gunman opened fire at a former president Donald Trump Oh, I just the wording of can you just say Trump rally? The thought they gotta remind you former president Donald Trump has been released in the video released by Senator Chuck Grassley Republican, Iowa. I like him. He's an old salty bastard who always, oh, there's the kid. And again, we should be zooming in on his face that's split open like a melon. I like that shit. It's like porn and so does most of America.

Quit pixelating. We're not pussies. In the video released by Senator Chuck Grassley on the social media platform X, Beaver County law enforcement can be seen talking to a member of the Secret Service on the rooftop from where Thomas Crooks was perched and from where the Secret Service ignored him for about a half hour and said, go ahead, Don.

Get up on the, go ahead, Mr. Trump. Everything's good. WPXI reported. They can be heard discussing how snipers noticed crooks before the shots rang out. Everything that's come out about this story points to a fucking inside job. That's what I want to hear being screamed. And the Secret Service comes under the president, which is Joe Biden. So it's on him and the Democrats. That's the angle I would be pushing. Am I right? Look at the little kid there. Where's the one with the blood? Oh, oh, it's coming up when we show the clip, right?

Yeah, this is you'll see that red stream of poop-poop Yeah, Beaver County snipers Seen and sent the pictures out. This is him they said his crook's body lay on the roof nearby. Here is some of that footage. Yes, Beaver County sniper seen and sent the pictures out. This is him. Okay. See the bloodstream behind the cop? Oh, there you go. He's looking at you, kid.

In the back of the car, is he on that bike? We don't know. We don't know. So we're just treating that as suspicious device. One second, I believe the sniper that seen these and sent the pictures is right inside this building. Michelle, is Greg in there? Yes, he is. Alright, so if you go to that window that's open open and yell for Greg, that's the sniper that sent the original pictures and seen them come from the bike.

Greg, why didn't you do anything? Greg? Can I ask you that, Greg? You saw him, you took a picture of him? Maybe he had to stay at his station. I don't know how it works, but he should have told somebody who could go out there and go, what are you doing, fuckface? Well you also see the dangerous degree of that roof.

Yes. Like Dallas pointed out, there's a guy in fucking wingtips standing on it. It's how dangerous it is. Fucking dress shoes in a suit. Well, they sliding all over the place. The fucking thing, not only is it not slanted, it's actually bowed.

You couldn't fall off it. I've been on many a roof because I worked my uncle elder Mason and almost died many times I know that that's the that's what I'm saying everything that's come out Dallas and it's not it's not people being fucking paranoid and conspiracy everything starting with how the fuck that roof was left open that's number number one. You just start from there. And it's so easy. How do you guys hear about it from other people and not react?

You have to be. Yeah, you saw the, was he hiding the gun? Did it fold up? Put it in his book bag? It didn't. And they saw him early with a fucking range thing. And I wish people on the left would watch this show, because these are all, you can't refute any of these.

These are facts. I can't wait to see you spin on it. Just think if somebody took a shot at fucking Biden, which you wouldn't have to. Just an air horn, sneak up to him, and he's peeing at 3 in the morning yeah bye bye flat line that's it right video is it more all right local law enforcement last week oh there's more oh local law enforcement last week told CBS news that moments before crooks

pulled the trigger a sniper from a local team had taken a photo of crooks as he was looking through his rangefinder. Federal authorities have said crooks acted alone so now we know it's a lie. How did you... here's another question I just thought of so you've already come up with a conclusion that he acted alone Really you're not done with the investigation yet And to that I say you need to shut the fuck up Folks don't kid yourself. It's already on the big look over here Bystanders had attempted to alert officials about Crooks' presence two minutes before shots rang out. This, ugh, how many people that were in on this going, look at Trump, he's taking the stage.

And have they ever talked, have they investigated the woman with the sign who was filming when everybody else was diving for cover? Have we heard any more about her? Anyways, the video released today confirms that several bystanders, well this was released yesterday, who captured video of the gunman before the shooting were detained. The Secret Service agent can be heard mentioning this in the body cam footage. He said there's people detained who were filming. Maybe they were involved, maybe they weren't are they talking about that what broad must be one of them now the Secret Service agents said on video oh god help us and guys once again we still don't know who yeah we we still don't

officially know who killed Kennedy I mean if you want to listen to the government, it really, Kamala, you're not going to be able to handle this. I can't wait to see her melt down. And debate, fucking Trump knows just what to say. They go, are you going to debate Kamala? He goes, oh I'm going to debate. I like to debate her twice. He goes, oh, I'm going to debate. I like to debate her twice. All right, let's stay on the story real quick. A little background, something we don't know about. Headline, father knows best.

The father of would-be Donald Trump assassin Thomas Matthew Crooks has revealed the family is just trying to take care of ourselves. Kind of a weird answer. As he stepped out in public for the first time, since the shooting, somebody caught him coming out of a supermarket. And Matthew Brian Cooks, he's 53, made the remarks

as he was spotted leaving a grocery store on Monday. We just want to try to take care of ourselves right now, whatever the fuck that. Please just give us our space. Yeah, we gave you space. Your son had a whole fucking space we gave him. Look what he did, you motherfucker. You know, these two brats. Crook said as he loaded a bag of Cheetos, ironically, no, bag loads of items into his car. This is one of these days Dallas where I must have read through the stories too quickly. Anyways he says we're going to release a statement when our legal counsel advises us to do so

until then we have no comment. Well you're making a comment right now. Kirk's father a registered libertarian had legally purchased the rifle used in his son's attack. The family had been cooperating with the how come I don't know how he voted and the wife voted? Well, libertarian, I guess. The family had been cooperating with authorities as they continued to probe the assassination attempt.

The feds have yet to share a motive for the attack. What the fuck? Investigators, sorry kids, investigators who have searched his phone found photos of Trump, President Biden, and other senior government officials. Crooks had also looked up the dates for the Democratic National Convention, as well as Trump's appearance.

Here he is with a, again, a head of hair that a girl would kill for. Looks like he has body odor. And I like to look at the artwork when you're in a psycho's room. What's going on behind him there? I don't know what that is. Is it somebody holding a bullet?

Anyways, this is the old man of the guy try to kill trump is the father's coming out of a gross turn somebody caught him talking whether it were there any warning signs that you how's mary holden up what's your calorie intake intake. We'll release a statement when our legal counsel advises us to do so. Until then, we have no comment. We just want to try to take care of ourselves right now. So please, give us our space. Have the feds released?

I say this calls for action and now! Just watch space. Give us some space. I can't just try to whack somebody who could have changed the world on its axis. Look. I'm not going to let you do that. I'm not going to let you do that. I can't just try to whack somebody could have changed the world on its axis. Look, as you see we have Stouffer's French

bread, fucking 20 cans of Mountain Dew. Fucking priorities. I know what what can he say, whatever. How do you, what do you say? I just say bad parenting once again. You don't know your kid's a psycho. Yeah but you can't, well then don't have them because I know my kid would have done this, why I didn't have them. Only he would have hopefully went after a Democrat. I say that with happiness in my eyes. I have a new song I'm gonna play when I'm doing stand-up live and I come on stage my intro songs gonna be walking on sunshine. Is that show crow? Who does walking on sunshine? I don't know. Pull that up, Dallas. Walking on sunshine in the sun. I want to say it's Crow, but I might be wrong.

Then I was like, till Tuesday? No. Katrina and the Waves. Ah, yeah! God damn it! Not even close, was I? Katrina and the friggin waves one hit wonders alright well that's my song and hopefully people see the irony in it alright hey anyways guys for those of you on Mug Club stick around for the rest of this show

everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show the great Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more and while you're there at nickdip.com Click on the tour button and there you will see August 9th. I believe that's a Friday night I'm in Jacksonville at the Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts Jacksonville, Florida the very next night the 10th of August gas South Theatre in Duluth, Florida. The very next night, the 10th of August, Gas South Theater in Duluth, Georgia. Two beautiful venues. And I am looking forward to it.

I haven't even written shit about the assassination. It's all going to come right off the top of my head. Unadulterated, not toned down, maybe just pure hatred, no punch lines involved. That's funny too, and I lose my shit. So come out and see a spectacle. Oh, in the second half of the show, I didn't even tell you, right, what

I'm going to be talking about. Kamala Harris will show you who she's thinking about. So asymmetrical. Who she's thinking about the vice president which is just surreal to me also Elon Musk says he vows to end wokeness and it's personal to him Hill and the story will tell you why very interesting Musk is one of those guys I'm like well if he's for it pretty sure he researched it. Hi good night

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