The Nick DiPaolo Show - RNC Night Two Coverage | Nick Di Paolo Show #1599

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the RNC day 2 and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing It's an off-color remark. It's highly inappropriate. No such thing. Hi, folks. What it is, what it was. Great to be with you Wednesday. Great state of Georgia. No show tomorrow. I'll be traveling. Catch me on Crowder live with him tomorrow night. The final night of the RNC. That's the big night. Trump will speak and Carrot Top's gonna do like eight minutes, I guess they, it's gonna be, it should be great, you know?

I mean, think about this, this is historic. When's the last time there was a political convention where the nominees coming off an assassination, it might be a little interesting to tune into Don't you think? Although I did see there was a Munsters marathon on A&E. So I'm on the fence Let me tell you cocksuck a miss by a man They said I can't do them. You got to get your voice back the roof. What the fuck was that?

Did you guys hear it? Yeah, um, I just said to down I am pissed that nobody they're not making we should be furious That I would have canceled the rest of the convention and say we're gonna go we have to disband the fucking Democrat party right now Everybody has to be it. Fuck it the hearings start today live TV I know you can't do it because the elections exactly that close. But Jesus Christ, just put the shoe on the other foot. Can you imagine that happening to Shithead? And then people coming out on the right going, yeah,

sad they missed Joe. Wish they got him right in the. This fucking, again, the right. I don't even know, like I said yesterday, if it would have set off a fucking civil war the people should be fucking out or maybe they are we just don't have the you know the the media coverage for it they tried to kill the republican nominee former president and the fat stupid broad excuse my French ladies the head of secret security literally guarded PepsiCo's building and a few other buildings that's what she

did before this you read more and more into this she came out yesterday and this just blew my Jesse waters last night had the best opening statement. He covered it all. Did you hear her excuse for not having somebody on the roof? It was slanted like most roofs are, and we thought it would be dangerous. Folks, slanted. She had snipers on other roofs that were more slanted, number one. Number two, we just looked at a picture. Me and Dallas were looking at this picture of

What were they Secret Service guys? Yeah, they're just a SWAT team SWAT team literally standing above the body standing about the body And and and the pitch is about a fucking degree I've been on more dangerous roofs doing work when I was working in the summertime as a kid Are you shitting me my uncle fucking out was a bricklayer? He was building a chimney. I had to go up a ladder carrying two tons of bricks in each hand. Those were about a fucking hundred pounds. No hands. And he's on a roof that's like this. He's like a 75 year old former firefighter and Mason and screaming at me because I wasn't getting up there quick enough. Are you fucking, fucking, that's her, that's her final answer? And she's not stepping down?

What? That's the excuse? They were in the building, the kid was fucking on? You don't even have to go into all that. The fact that that building is that close is just fucking insane. I Know I we're talking about all we have to I try to make the show I didn't want to get too far again into the assassination stuff and I'm actually injecting less political shit, but this is not To do that. I guess I wanted to make it a little lighter, you know, and I'm trying folks

but uh, I I just couldn't believe what I was hearing and what their excuse was and The response from the left. They don't even wait. They don't even wait couple nights ago the People I don't think I showed it on the show interview on Donald Trump, Jr At the convention and the guy kept going what about your father's policies of ripping babies out of women's arms at the book and Trump's like you can't even wait He was just shot at 48 hours ago. You guys can't even we get out of here. He goes, which is how it should be Hey, how about this? You don't talk to the media anymore. Let's try that

Think outside the fucking box Republicans. Just shut it down Don't talk to you know, and then and they well then you get no message out Think outside the fucking box, Republicans. Just shut it down. Don't talk to, you know, and then, and then you get no message out. Well, they're gonna twist it anyways. Just go to Fox, America One, Newsmax. Everybody's coming around. Nick DePaul show.

Thank you. See, I'm not a good self-promoter. Thank you, Dallas. I don't have that Howard Stern gene. Yes, this show. Thank you Dallas. I don't have that Howard Stern gene. Yes, this show. And by the way, we just put the show back on YouTube after years of not being on there. I've already explained why a thousand times. We kept it open under a different name because I had two strikes of me. We still wanted to use it to promote the show. But, excuse me, the left has use it to promote the show but uh excuse me the

left has gone so far off the reservation even YouTube is kind of toning down this censoring so we put the first half of the show on YouTube right and you want the second half join Mug Club at Nick Dip.com but we have and again these everything's relative I'm not talking about comparing numbers to like Crowder, and who was the first really, the first victim of YouTube shit when they demonetized them. But we had 107,000 people in eight days watching the show.

I don't know how many thousand new subscribers. So that's all positive, and I don't get happy about my shit, but that's what I like to see, growth. Whether it's my penis, my show, or the young girl across the street. What? Cut, you motherfucker. Anyways.

Balls on this prick. Cut. What'd I do? Anyways, okay, let's get on with it. I've wasted enough. Real quick, I don't have a full story on this, but we did read Elon Musk is relocating his SpaceX and X headquarters, which is Twitter, from California, there's nothing going to be left in California, to

Texas. And he's not doing it for the weather, folks. He's doing it because of the safety act that Newsom just passed, I should say. The safety Act they tried to pass in California limits schools from creating rules that require employees to notify parents of child's gender ID. They're trying to get in the way of the parents and their kid, Newsome, and they're coming after your kids. And by the way, Elon has 12 kids, so that sort of hit home. He's got your kids and by the way Elon has 12 kids so they sort of hit home he's got 12 kids you know that how can he afford that that's funny he probably even what the fuck this is expensive 12 kids so he

said fuck you this guy used to be Democrat folks that's why things like this it's it might be a water a watershed moment whatever fuck they got in politics Trump reunited the fucking Republicans and the left has been exposed again they're not legitimate they're a criminal organization who fucking hate this guy okay if this sounds like hyperbole. They have to be destroyed not beat. They have to be taken apart and it starts with sealing that border. I can't wait for that. I'm gonna sign up for the Eagle Scouts. I'll be kicking people. Yeah, motherfuckers. Anyways, I just wanted to mention that Elon Musk, not to mention 45 million a month he's pumping into a

super PAC for Trump. I think he's made up his decision. So as you know, second, was it second night? Second night last night at the RNC, which is in beautiful Milwaukee, I don't know. I gave Gutfeld a bunch of, I don't think he got to him about Milwaukee, that was the first place, that was where the typewriter was invented. So I guess we can blame them on murder she wrote and what's the other Oh bobblehead the

National Bobblehead Museum is in Milwaukee and I told that fella should say yeah we went there it's pretty cool but I thought the Michael J Fox bust was out of a not in good taste. Janet Reno one. Anyways, let's take a look at some of the clips at the good speakers last night and here's how you know the Republicans are unified under Trump. You know, DeSantis and Marco Rubio and again, they're not. When they debate against each other, yeah, they go for each other's throats You know, I'm a JD Vance that shit But that was like ten years ago and all the fucking idiots on the left. That's all they have to say

This is what Rubio said about him This is yeah And then you unite after the guy becomes president and does everything he promised to then you have to you look like an asshole If you don't like them, I still didn't want Nikki Haley there. She's a globalist fucking skirt that we don't need anyways. That was more of a, you know, symbol symbolic thing I think. It's time to gather loved ones together for all the holidays best spread. Lins has great prices on all your favorite Thanksgiving items. From delicious turkey with all the fixings to mashed potatoes and yummy pies, we have everything you need to create your perfect Thanksgiving dinner.

Whether it's cooking the traditional meal, completely store bought, or a combination of both, your best holiday meal starts here. Learn more and start shopping today at Lynn's Grocery dot com. Lynn's where delicious begins. Here's Ron DeSantis who I still say when he talks and gets excited, starts to sound like Paul Lynn. But here is Ronnie up first talking about leadership. Joe Biden has failed this nation as a veteran.

I was appalled when 13 of our service members were killed in Afghanistan due to Joe Biden's dereliction of duty as a citizen as a Husband and as a father I am an arm trans at the current president and United States lacks the Capability to discharge the duties of his office or wipe his ass enemies make a sandwich and find their designs to between 10 a.m. And 4 p.m.. We need yes, they do afghans are very lazy. We need a commander-in-chief who can lead 24 hours a day who sniffed a baby seven days a week America cannot afford

Four more years of a weekend at Bernie's presidency. How about the guys that made that movie? They're like, Jesus Christ, that has become a reference, an Americana. He didn't get as excited like he did when he was running for president, but every time I hear him talk, I think it's... Paul Troufalz studies at the University of Wisconsin's show that you'll probably live longer if you love only one man or woman at a time. But it is all right to Alder Knight. Anybody? When he gets mad, his voice goes up and he's got a little of this in him. I don't give a shit.

Again, it's got nothing to do with it. He's in the military, good to lead, as smart as a whip are the guys we need. Eh, he sucks a cock. No, he doesn't. Nobody knows that, Nick. That's just you. Okay. And then Ted Cruz, who I've been kind of fed up with. What am I doing? Oh, I thought that was over. What am I stopping this for? Edville PM Bray. Go ahead. More DeSas. Lawfare. They have unleashed progressive prosecutors across our nation who care more about coddling criminals than about protecting their own communities. They use the unelected bureaucracy to impose their will on us without our consent and they weaponize political power to target their political opponents like they've done to our own nominee. They want to ban gas

automobiles, eliminate Second Amendment rights, and impose gender ideology on everyone from our infantrymen to kindergartners. I like when they bring up something that Biden's doing or the opposite that they don't the people don't know whether to boo or not because it sounds like they're booing him It's never a full-throated boo. They get confused and some start crying and leaving Anyways, that's Ronnie boy and then Ted Cruz Comes up and he's talking about law, excuse me, he's talking about the border, obviously.

And Ted Cruz, I was a fan of because I know how bright he is, but he's been there so long and I get mad when I see him going, you're not, you're fucking, you're always on the defense. Alan Dershowitz, who was a liberal, says you're the smartest law student he ever had at Harvard and you're not doing nothing. And he'd probably say, well, we're always outnumbered or whatever the fuck, whatever. Remember, it got ugly when he was running for president when Trump said something about his wife and his father was trying to kill Nixon, kill, you know, I think he was involved

with Kennedy, whatever. So here's Teddy Boy talking about the border. How did we get here? I took a cab, you took an Uber. Because Democrats cynically decided they wanted votes from illegals more than they wanted to protect our children. These people from shithole countries come here. This shithole. Shithole. Shithole. Up and down. Today. Pause. Black is white. Pause. Pause. Pause. Pause. And you probably come. What's it say? This raw video which has not been fact checked by USA Today. Okay? Do you fucking believe it? Guarantee you won't see that with anything Democrat related well, then that's fox's fault that america one knows

Put it up there Because nobody lies more than that fucking old fuck every word out of his mouth. It's a fucking lie Don't put up it hasn't been fact-checked put up. He's lying He's lying liar Just fucking you believe that? Fucking USA Today. They're as bad as any of them. Ugh, go ahead. Result of Joe Biden's presidency.

Your family is less safe. Your children are less safe. The country is less safe. But here's the good news. We can fix it. And when Donald Trump is president, we will fix it. I'm not holding my breath, Ted. I love you, but, you know.

These people from shithole countries come here. The shitholes. The shithole. The shithole. Up is down, black is white, and you probably come from a shithole. I saw so many fucking funny memes yesterday. Oh my god. I got one I want to I got an angle scarface that I'm working out as a bit for stand up. Now if I say it right now people are gonna jump on it and put it out there before me but it has to do with Tony Montana I'm gonna

confronting Frank after he gets shot it would be so beautiful anyways so that was Teddy Cruz weighing in on the border and then my boy I'm sorry guys I and I love JD Vance to me this guy is sort of a mirror of JD Vance, only he's immigrant, I guess. He was born here. I should know that. Vivek's parents are, you know, whatever. They have a nice bodega in Calcutta. But Vivek Ramaswamy is the best communicator out there, in my opinion, because first of

all, he's super elegant elegant but he always goes back to the media and his hate for the how they lie and he's just to me he's the best communicator of everybody up there and he's super smart and so does JD Vance I mean JD Vance is just like this but this guy's young I see him I'll be gone but he'll be running the show let's take let's take a again my my I think my favorite hey he'll be in the cabinet somewhere right next to the you know cheese was here he is Vivek lighten it up like a rock star that he is our message to Gen Z is this you're gonna be the generation

that actually saves this country. You want to be a rebel? Yes. You want to be a hippie? No, I don't like those. You want to stick it to the man? Stick it to the girls. Show up on your college campus and try calling yourself a conservative.

Oh, you'll get shot. Say you want to get married, have kids. You like pussy. Teach them to believe in God and pledge allegiance to their country. Girls, you like dick. Because you know what? Fear has been infectious in this country, but courage can be contagious too.

That too is what it means to be an American. Okay. Guy's a better speaker than Obama ever was. And you know what? If you're at home and you disagree with everything I just said, our message to you is this. Suck my ass.

We will still defend to the death your right to say it because that is who we are as Americans. We are the country where we can disagree like hell and still get together at the dinner table at the end of it. That is the America I know. That is the America we miss. But but you don't have opening? No. But why not? I love them. I friggin love them. Colin Quinn said to me when I first moved to New York City and he grew up in Brooklyn and he's obsessed with ethnicity and race and in a good way. He just he just has a great feel for all that shit and I remember we were making

fun of the table of whatever Hispanics or Indians or Bodega, whatever the fuck. And he looked at us, he goes, you guys don't understand, Asians and Indians are gonna save the country. And I still fucking believed that. And then I started to believe that I would be coming home from the Comedy Cellar at quarter two in the morning on a subway and seeing an Asian kid coming home

from the library or whatever, reading about an Indian kid. You know, I mean, I think he's the future man and then finally we had Mark Robinson who I forgot about this again he was a cop right originally before he became what is he lieutenant governor and tight end of the Falcons Mark Robinson you'll you'll recognize him, another great speaker who's been behind Trump for a long time. And this guy's a law and order guy, and here he is. The brave heart of our time, President Trump has had our economy roaring.

Gas was up below $2. Unemployment was at a historic low. People could afford homes. And we had a president who protected manufacturing jobs. Under President Trump, the American dream was alive and well. Under President Trump, there was hope. And we need that now more than ever. So this November, let's select the brave heart of our time,

Donald J. Trump, to get our economy back on track. That guy's a serious player. Restore the American dream and make America great again. God bless you all and God bless the United States of America. This is what makes a damn shit their pants. They asked Joe Biden about that and Joe was watching watching and this is what responds to watching mark robinson if you want to talk like a fucking mullinion we'll send you to slip and fall school how fucking dare you joe hey folks uh for those of you on mug club stick around for the second half of this show and the

rest is i feel very bad for you that you're gonna be leaving us Everyone else go to Nick dip calm and and join To get my full show Steven crowd is full show and a whole lot more and there is a whole lot more That's not just words crowd up. It's on the best show. He was the first guy to be victimized by YouTube by demonetizing him and trying to ruin him one of the first I should say Also when you're at nickdip.com click on the tour button as you see and this is coming fast August 9th, which is a Friday night. I believe Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts I will be doing stand-up and the very next night on the 10th. I'll be in Duluth, Georgia

outside of Atlanta August 10th doing the gas south theater two beautiful theaters can't wait to do it folks got a lot to say I might do a little my act I might be off fucking I could be unhinged by then a couple of rum and cokes and a cigarette backstage I will rip the tits off any whore in that place bring Bring the kids. All right that's it right? So yeah sign up you're gonna miss the rest of the show. What am I talking about? Jack Black got in hot water. Not for what he said his partner and it also there was a scary arrest yesterday outside the RNC guy which people aren't really talking about. This has to be the most

interesting 72 hours in the history of American politics hi good night everybody Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow! I'm out.