The Sloppy Boys - 56. Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack

Episode Date: November 12, 2021

The guys drink some autumnal oddities.Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack available in select stores. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love. I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford. I just ate a lot of Pastorino. And Tim Kalpakis. What is up, autumnal stylies? Yeah, it is autumnal stylies. That's probably why you ate so much Pasta Rino. I made so much damn spaghetti over here with a meat sauce that I made a whole bunch.
Starting point is 00:00:36 And, you know, I like to make some and say, I have some for lunch tomorrow. I went through the whole thing. I ate it all. No. A pot of sauce and a pound of spaghetti. Well, not a whole, like of sauce and a pound of spaghetti. Well, not a whole, probably like half a box of spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Wow. And this meat sauce made from scratch? No, no, Tim. I just browned some turkey, ground turkey. What? What do you mean? I browned ground turkey. I browned ground.. I browned ground.
Starting point is 00:01:06 That's cooking. That's cooking. That's from scratch. I count that. Yeah. I thought you were like more of a prego guy, you know? No, it's just frying it up there, Jeff. And here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Here's what I did. I want to ask you guys. Tim, you've worked in a restaurant, but maybe Jeff, you know too. I took, I froze this ground turkey that I bought, and I just put it right into a... I tried to thaw it. I kind of forgot that I was going to have this tonight, so I was like, oh, I'll take this out of the freezer. And I just put it right into the frying pan from frozen.
Starting point is 00:01:37 It was a brick, but it finally broke. I did a very low heat. Is that... Why are you not supposed to do that? Is it a taste thing or a health it's it's so that you don't burn the outside and the inside is ice so i think i think the solution is just doing it on low heat like you did i think it's more of an etiquette thing you know this is kind of crude to do that it's kind of weird it's just kind of lewd and crude me and jeff are going to
Starting point is 00:01:59 save up and send you off to one of those cotillion etiquette schools and bring you back a nice little gentleman and get you some manners. You should send me to cooking school after the meal I had that was awful. Now, Mike, I can't believe you ate all that because you're the king of Tupperware. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, guess what, Jeff? I put some of the browned
Starting point is 00:02:18 meat in the Tupperware. Oh, I knew you'd have some Tupperware involved. So you pulled some of the browned meat out before you added the sauce. That's right. Okay. And I don't know what I'm going to do with that. I got tortilla shells over here.
Starting point is 00:02:32 Maybe I'll whip it into a quesadilla. Maybe fans can vote. Should it be tacos or what will it be, folks? I feel like a lot on this show we will say things like, folks, you decide, and nobody really gets back to us on that. And also we don't give away for them to... They get back to me. They call me on the phone.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Oh yeah, they call you. I get my home, my landline rings off the hook all the time. Hey Tim, I have an idea for Vermouth Month. Hey, speaking of interactive things, this is something we've talked to our fans about before i've got a really big surprise that's gonna shock you guys are you ready to have
Starting point is 00:03:10 you oh the surprise is now oh shit the surprise is now dang look what i look what i just found digging through my closet i i i wanted i was thinking of the theme of the today's show and i wanted to see maybe i'll have something appropriate to wear. And I didn't know what this was. I'd never seen it before. Take a look. He's grabbing it now, folks. Oh, my.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Okay. Wow. This is huge. It's a fucking red buffalo plaid. The very thing I was trying to get Hanford to get. And that's like a jacket, too. Is that zipping up or buttoning up? It's a buttoned down fleece jacket.
Starting point is 00:03:54 It's like a work jacket. I've been trying to get Mike to get a Carhartt one of these. This one is Croft and Barrow, the store brand from cole's department store i believe given to me by my mommy and uh and mike it could be yours if you play your cards right well i've i've last time i saw you you gave me a your own your sweatshirt off your back that was uh it was it was green i'm very happy to take a look at this when i see you next. Try it on and take a look at it. That's all I ask is that you'll entertain the idea. Hear my pitch.
Starting point is 00:04:29 I would love to. I do not want to put you in the position of being bound to this agreement right now. I think we should both get together and look at it. I think you should take it on a walk around the block. I give you some space. You have your own time to see how it goes. I come back. I'm like, it's gone they stole it um no i don't know if you guys had this uh jeff or mike
Starting point is 00:04:51 when you lived in la we you know my my parents will give me warm cozy clothes for christmas and then the next day i get on a plane and go back to a place that's 100 degrees so i've got a lot of winter clothes that just live in the closet yeah and you suspect that's the origin of this i think this is an unworn christmas gift appreciated deeply but but unworn and just you know it got kind of filed away but never archived in my brain as an option filed but not archived see i thought there was sort of some mystical thing where it's like wow tim has this closet where whatever he tells his friend to wear will appear digging in the depths of the closet dude we should write a short story like that
Starting point is 00:05:36 yeah tell your closet i want to be wearing a new ferrari yeah yeah tell because I want to be wearing Christy Brinkley. I think I'm going to come out in December sometime. Carol of the Bells. Wait, when are you coming again? Sometime in December, maybe, okay? Whoa. Mike, I was going to fly to you in December. This is sort of like a gift to the magi. I was going to high five out the plane.
Starting point is 00:06:03 But you're coming like early, or like right before Christmas, right? Yeah, there's this whole thing where like, yeah, yeah, I think, I might flip it. I might come to you after between Christmas and New Year's. How would that suit you? Great, because then you can come to the
Starting point is 00:06:19 fish New Year's show. That's kind of what I was thinking. You know, I was sort of like digging my heels in on this whole fish thing, and I said, you know I was sort of like digging my heels in on this whole fish thing and I said you know what just give Mike what he wants I don't understand why you would pull the have for your Christmas season when you know you know New Year's Eve
Starting point is 00:06:34 Madison Square Garden doge that's that's a good thing to aim for well that'll be that'll be good we'll talk more about that off pod yeah wait a minute we shouldn't be talking about this at all it's boring content yeah and it's time for boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo Boo's News.
Starting point is 00:06:48 Yeah. Here we go. What is up? It's time for B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Boo's News. Brought to you by Tim, Jeff, and Mike. Collectively known
Starting point is 00:07:02 as the Sloppy Boys. The news starts now. and Mike, collectively known as the Sloppy Boys. The news starts now. Hit it. You tip jar cheapskate knucklehead. Wow. That was some tangerine dream type shit.
Starting point is 00:07:20 That was cool. Do you think that was sent in by AI? Robo Booze News sent to us by Dan Padley. The Dan Padley. Padley. Met him up in Chicago. Great guy. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:07:34 This was a funny thing. I talked about this to him. Folks, we played in Chicago a couple weeks ago. Got to meet a lot of slopheads. It was very fun. But in advance of in advance i think i showed you guys this i could i couldn't find it when i was looking for it but in advance of the show we got an instagram message from a very nice uh listener who said um you know
Starting point is 00:07:57 hey we're having a meetup uh some of the slop heads are having a meetup and uh we'd love for the band to come join us and uh you know there's gonna be some pretty big slop heads are having a meetup and, we'd love for the band to come join us. And, uh, you know, there's going to be some pretty big slop heads there. There's going to be, we might have Dan Padley. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Yeah. Yeah. Laura vinegar was another one. They were like real prominent. You might bump into Laura vinegar, Dan Padley. And, uh,
Starting point is 00:08:18 and I love, I was like, damn, holy shit. So when I, uh, when we were playing Chicago, I was over at the t-shirt table.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Who did I meet? Dan Padley himself. He did show. Were you starstruck? I was starstruck as hell. Absolutely. D, Dan Padley. He did it in a cool fashion
Starting point is 00:08:34 where most of the slopheads were there from the Discord on Thursday night and Friday night, but then Padley just came in just for Friday night. He was like, wow. Padley knows how to make an entrance. Yeah, he did. Yeah, wow.
Starting point is 00:08:47 He did. But yes, I was very starstruck. He didn't give a fuck about me, but I was starstruck to meet him, I'll tell you that. He may have been somebody. Somebody gave me a shot of Malort. Oh, yeah. Maybe he was involved in that.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I forget. A lot of Malort going around. I've got, I had like seven shots of Malort. And also, I've got a little nip of Malort for one of you. Not it. I have, yeah, you gave me one. I've got it here. So, Jeff, I've got a little a nip of muller for one of you um not it i have yeah you gave me one i've got it here so jeff i've got yours and they let me take it on the plane little uh a carry-on liquid never carried liquid uh just go ahead and take the cap off and dump it down the toilet and we'll call it yeah if you got a booze news theme email it to the sloppy
Starting point is 00:09:21 boys podcast at gmail.com okay mike, Mike, you got booze news. I got some booze news tangentially. You know, I never really have the straight-in booze news anymore. You like to work around the margins. Some fringe stuff. You know how we did the pickleback shot? Yes. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:40 And Fran was here, and it was really fun, and the pickleback is a great drink. We were talking about making pickles and look what i put in a pickled a jar of vinegar a little while ago about five days ago some pickles and some dill i got some dill i put it in an old pepperoncini it's a pepperoncini that finished up quickly it looks great vinegar and wow i did vinegar up... Vinegar and dill and cucumber. Yep. But they were like the small cucumbers.
Starting point is 00:10:07 I don't know if I got the right one. Like, it wasn't just a big one. So I'm going to try one because it's been in about five days, which they suggested. Wow. He's opening it now, folks. I see the muscles and tendons in his forearm flexing. Oh, he's scared. Nice crunch. Hey! That's he's scared. Nice crunch.
Starting point is 00:10:27 Hey! That's like a Vlasic crunch. That's not bad. Does it taste like a classic pickle or is it your own spin? It's a little like too... It tastes really good. I think just like getting the dill amounts right,
Starting point is 00:10:41 but it's like... You need more dill. That's like straight vinegar? No, it's vinegar. It's a half and half vinegar and water with salt in it, and you boil that up to... or you heat it up to get all the salt out of there.
Starting point is 00:10:56 And you just cut them up and put them in... cut the cucumbers up, put it in this brine, add some dill. You could also add like garlic and anything you want. Damn, dude. I'm impressed. These could probably stay in longer because I'm still tasting a little bit of cucumber-y taste.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Wow. Do you like that? So it's like a half sour. I want all sour. I can't believe that worked. I'm so happy. That's great. You gotta use that juice for your pickleback shots now. Uh-huh. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:11:29 We did some pickleback shots with Fran this weekend, keeping the traditional live. She still had some of that spicy. With the McClure spicy. I got to say, did not prefer the spicy McClure. I know that's the- Spicy not so nice-y? I know that's like the hip standard um but i kind of prefer the cool crisp uh normal ass pickle juice i've been making myself vodka and mcclure
Starting point is 00:11:51 just the vodka on the rocks a little dribble and mcclure spicy juice right in there it's delicious all right that sounds damn good well the thing with the shot is you get like a burning whiskey followed by a burning pickle juke and i wanted that cool cool crisp not that hot hot crisp you don't want double burn daddy you had some booze news oh but mine's a fucking whopper so you go next oh wait oh shit damn mine's a little squeaker okay you do a little squeaker mine was i had one of my revelations. You know, every once in a while, something will hit me and I'll say, this, I cracked your case. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:29 I think that happened. I want that to be my reputation anyway. Anyway. It is. Michael, you recently met the inventor of the paper plane cocktail. Yes. Sam Ross.
Starting point is 00:12:41 Sam Ross. Very nice guy. Australian guy. I did not expect the Australian accent. Oh. Okay,. Sam Ross. Very nice guy. Australian guy. I did not expect the Australian accent. Oh, okay, mate. Exactly. Well, I was thinking about the paper plane. Remember when we did the paper plane, we were like, oh, it was named the paper plane cocktail
Starting point is 00:13:01 because that MIA song was popular at the time. Right. the paper plane cocktail because that mia song was popular at the time right but then we were like but this isn't like a there's no like sri lankan schnapps or or like british specific british gin or like there was nothing necessarily tying it to the paper plane concept other than right his name for the song then i'm walking down the street and i get hit by this massive brainstorm was that another new york cocktail we've covered from that same era from death and co invented by joaquin c mo the naked and famous is also an indie rock song jeff you pointed that out an indie rock song.
Starting point is 00:13:43 Jeff, you pointed that out. It's not MGMT. It is... The band is called The Naked and Famous. Ah, the band is called The Naked and Famous. So I surmise that the thing to do
Starting point is 00:13:55 on the Lower East Side of Manhattan in the 2000s was to name your drinks after indie rock hits. Did you look up when the band formed and when the drink was made? It was exactly right then. Yeah, it was like 2011, 2013.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Like the song 2011 and then the drink 2013. Damn. You cracked the case there, Timmy. Okay, let's hear this whopper, Jeff. I have on good authority. You know've you know i've got you know i've got feelers out everywhere right always i just uh you know i haven't been a big contributor to booze news but i feel like this is gonna put me over the top damn i have on good authority that coca-cola is developing a coca-cCola branded whiskey Coke product.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Oh, baby. I like that. A nice can of whiskey Coke. Didn't we talk? Didn't we cover that? I hope that they're working with Jack Daniels, Jack and Coke, the classic. That would be interesting. I heard this from.
Starting point is 00:14:59 Oh, yes. The reason I feel like we've talked about this before is because I think you mentioned it, or I was with you or something. Right then and there. IRL, off pod. Yeah. Good thing you remembered, Jeff. I didn't remember. That's very exciting.
Starting point is 00:15:13 I love whiskey Coke. And of all the canned beverages, when they're just weird malt beverages, it's like, oh, whatever. But if they put real whiskey in real Coke, Timmy likey. Yeah. And I feel like Coke, they might chicken out, to be honest. I got to protect my sources. So I'm not going to say anything. But I bet you that Coke is too big of a company, too safe of a brand to actually follow through on this.
Starting point is 00:15:39 I hope I'm wrong. I'd love to be wrong. We know that Coke and Pepsi will just, they toy with these ideas and they don't have to act on them. They just got their flavorist doing their bidding. I wonder if it's going to be like a can or in a bottle. Will it be a different chance? It would be nice if it was in that kind of classic Christmas glass bottle. Or a bag.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Or a bag. Or a box. That would be so weird if it's in a bag a sleeve it could be a sleeve sleeve of liquor hey i've got an inside scooped i'm angling as well i i hinted this to you guys but through my hollywood connections i know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who works at anheuser-busch and has worked on the the bl seltzer team i might i might i might have to like do with some of my little backroom biddings to get them on the show that would be cool you know my backroom biddings right oh yeah we should have him on as one of those like you know silhouettes who's like he talks like this i'm very proud of my work and i hope you
Starting point is 00:16:42 like the taste i don't know why we made eggnog. Are you guys three great big fat people? But Tim, to our understanding, he invented some flavors, right? We'd be talking to the guy or one of the guys. That's the idea. He's the test tube guy. He's mixing imagine. The flavorist.
Starting point is 00:17:03 He's the dude whose work we're gonna be getting into as soon as we wrap up booze news well let's do it i'm excited that's pretty exciting i love it all this whole booze news has been fantastic i agree we should win a booze pulitzer for this one i think we will well well aww Jeff I told you we'll wrap it up Jeff you get a haircut
Starting point is 00:17:33 yeah man it looks great hey thanks you can tell over the zoom a funny thing is happening on your zoom screen Jeff where we see your dead mouse helmet in the back it's giving you Mickey ears. Yes, I see that as well. There's no way to put it.
Starting point is 00:17:48 You look like a fucking dork. I know. You look like Minnie. No. Why don't you wear that helmet more? My head is too big for it. It fills it. When you're riding a razor scooter, you should use that.
Starting point is 00:17:59 Okay. So the drink of the day is the Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack. That's right. None of us really did any research or know what to say to introduce this drink. Because, hey, we've done the Ugly Sweater Pack. We've done the Out of Office Pack. We've done the Retro Tie-Dye Pack. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:18:18 What can you do? I mean, it's just the next in the line of wacky Bud Light Seltzers. They're going to keep coming out with them. And this one's been out for a while, at least on the East Coast. I remember I saw some in August. Yes, people, slobheads have been tagging us for a long time, and we had trouble tracking it down. I notoriously have to go all around town looking for these Bud Light seltzers.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Finally found them at Ralph's. But then what an ordeal. I sent a little package to old Mikey. Couldn't find him out here anywhere. Yeah, I was going to send you out to New Jersey to go to a wine store. Yeah, I just did. That's not something I want to do.
Starting point is 00:18:58 He's got pickles to make. He's got appointments. It would have been kind of an ordeal. So I got one of these fall flannel packs i gave jeff some cans i mailed mike some cans the the flavors that we're going to be drinking today yeah apple crisp that's a redo right yep that's from ugly sweater if i remember got it pumpkin spice new that's gonna be interesting so you got to do that that's smart of them to hit the one right on the nose.
Starting point is 00:19:27 That's the big Starbucks flavor and everything. Maple pear. Maple pear now is the one for me that in transit, I think the pressure of the flight was too much, popped open. Sad. It was a wet little package i got i said oh it's it must have been raining out today all right and i brought the package to my home open it up and everything smelled like sticky seltzery stuff did a big wave gush out when you open the box yeah knock me over so disappointing i really don't like to mail things uh that's like the last
Starting point is 00:20:06 thing i ever get around to doing is going to the post office but i took four cans i wrapped them in bubble wrap i reused an amazon package i was really proud yeah it was good the paper and the packing all of it but yeah i think it must have just been a altitude thing well also i don't know how much we should talk about uh mailing alcohol i think that's not a good thing to do oh yeah of course well you know we didn't do it oh right yeah yeah this this was a funny little thing is uh i think on the on our text gene jeff you had said like oh no it's it's illegal to to mail alcohol but just i've done it before i just said it was soda right have you done you said it was soda so yeah not to be not to incriminate me but yeah i know somebody did that the cia is listening right now you're fucked man so i i'm kind of dumb so i just had in my head like jeff said it was soda so when i went to my i went
Starting point is 00:20:58 to my uh post the los vegas post office on vermont then and uh i handed off the thing to the lady i'd filled out the form and she stuck it on there and she's like okay go on the little you know like the debit card machine and answer some questions first and it was like does your thing contain uh any pressurized liquids or whatever and i i should have just lied and hit no but i turned to the lady i go it's soda oh yeah jeff said it's soda jeff said it's soda she's like jefferson doesn't that reminds me of uh i i used to go to the afi library up by us because you know like i figured i was a young enough looking guy you're supposed to be a student to go up there but it's nice it's quiet you know it's a nice place to write
Starting point is 00:21:42 i was going up there and i uh had my laptop and i saw people giving me giving me looks checking me out when i walked in this one time and so i went up to i went up to them and i was like hey uh i'm not a student uh should i leave they're like yeah you gotta get out of here it's i've gone up there a million times and just you just walk in and sit down and start working and yeah that's what you do you just don't just don't flinch i'm not supposed to be here what you do in life you don't ask for permission you beg for forgiveness yes yes you beg that way kick you off campus and they're crying and you're like i'm so sorry i was ever here please forgive me i'm weird uh no so then i shouldn't have said that i was
Starting point is 00:22:28 like it's just soda and the lady was like you can't mail soda it's pressurized and i was like fuck why i do that and so she walked over to her manager and together they looked through a list of things and they're like oh it doesn't say no soda okay fine but i had like five minutes of thinking i had fucked the whole operation she doesn't say no soda and jeff said it's okay there's a little picture of you giving a thumbs up like soda's good i had dinner with jeff last night and he said that was fine so based on our prior experiences with bud light seltzer do we think this is going to be more of a prank pack or more of a like yeah pretty good what's the fourth flavor The fourth and final flavor is toasted marshmallow. Yeah, that's a prank pack.
Starting point is 00:23:07 And here's the thing, guys. They've already announced this winter's ugly sweater pack. Uh-huh. And did you hear the flavor? They are absolutely trolling us. Because it like went viral. One of those flavors is seltzer nog. That's like a joke.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Seltzer nog. Gross. So they're like basically like comedy writers writing these joke sodas and we're buying them and saying they're not that good um i think we're dumb but i don't know i'm i'm uh apple crisp wasn't bad i think pumpkin spice with bubbly water sounds weird maple pear is the one i'm amped on i like i love maple stuff i like a maple old fashioned that that yeah okay well we can get into it as we go one by one we certainly can um like yeah if you could just sort of like lick the box when we get to that one well i did uh i did when it was like i was soaking it all like wiping it all up i was like
Starting point is 00:24:01 smelling it a whole bunch like okay get try to remember this for the pod. Like a bloodhound. Yeah. I was close to like sucking on the packaging. And I said, I better not do that. Yeah. That's gotta be not good for me.
Starting point is 00:24:17 Um, well, I mean, there's nothing to prepare. Do we just crack into these or do we take a break or how do we do this? Well, we'll take a break because that's how the show is structured. Without structure, the whole society falls apart. Yeah, we got to sell some Manscaped.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Right. And we need our rest. Yeah, we got to hear from Manscaped. And I got to go get mine. All right. Yep. Well, folks, we'll see you back here very soon. Peace.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Peace. Peace. and we're back folks we got bud light seltzers in hand and uh we hope you enjoyed those those ads yeah you love the ads don't you oh yeah they crack me up but if you but if maybe maybe you don't love the ad so much oh maybe if only there was another way yeah maybe you mosey on over to the patreon and check out the uh hey big money hustler tier that might be for you if you don't like those ads you get our show with no ads and you also get the bonus weekly sloppy boys blowout and the monthly yes for Lennon That's a good package That sounds cool
Starting point is 00:25:26 Now we got Joe Firestone on this month Love Joe Firestone Super funny she's the best I'm wondering Who is going to be the first Pay pig out there Who's jumping in the pay pig tier Oh yeah who's that
Starting point is 00:25:42 Pay pig tier you know 100 bucks a month and you get to know that you gave us 100 bucks a month. You get to spoil three goddesses. Yeah. Let's frame it up like that. I like that.
Starting point is 00:25:58 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You give us what we deserve because we are God's gift to podcasting. And you're just a little human ATM. A dirty little piggy bank. You're allowed to get off on it all you want. Sure, sure. And that goes for the slob heads and the hustlers.
Starting point is 00:26:21 No, they're not allowed to get off on it. Oh, yes. You cannot get off. Well, enough of this sort of hornball talk yeah guys i fucked up so bad you're not gonna believe this what what you know sometimes kelpy really screws the pooch yeah well i was wondering what took you so long getting back here a little drama uh i did i did the math wrong? Anyone with half a brain would say, 12-pack, four flavors, three cans of each flavor. Now, me. You sent some to Mike.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Saved some for Jeff, mailed some for Mike. The other night, Jessica wanted a drink, and I said, hey, you have i've got extra i've got extra fall flannels why don't you have yourself one of these and she's like no you need them for your podcast and i was like no no i'm gonna have extra so you can drink one and so so i she didn't even want it she didn't like it she's not interested in it and she drank like half half of one didn't really like it and i was like well i can't taste it because i gotta wait for my podcast guys i it's guess what fucking flavor it was maple pear maple pear the same one that hanford exploded so jeff you are our lifeline the only god now wait a minute now hold on let's, hold on. Let's reframe this story here.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Hanford did not blow up anything. Hanford was at home waiting for a package to arrive. Well, you chose to live on the wrong fucking side of the fucking country. Well, okay, but then there's also the issue of distribution on the East Coast. That's more of a... Guys, these are systemic problems. We're not going to be able to solve them here on the pod. Yes.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Here's what I did do. I went looking through my recycling. That's more of a... Guys, these are systemic problems. We're not going to be able to solve them here on the pod. Yes. Here's what I did do. I went looking through my recycling. I found the can. There you go. There's a dribble in the bottom. Oh, no. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:28:16 I'm going to... When we get to this flavor, it's been... It's a malt beverage, right? So I trust it. And there's enough there. Listen. I'm going to drink that when it's time but i was most looking forward to maple pear i i went on i zoomed with some slop heads on the uh on the discord the other day and mitch on the web said that the maple pear was very maple forward i was looking forward to it i for one was looking forward to that um well tim i'm i'm glad you you don't have
Starting point is 00:28:47 one uh you made such a blunder you know we got the one maple pear that blew up for me now the other guys yes just be just come on we're having a fun yeah just come on. We're having fun. Yeah, just come on, Jeff. Come on. Okay, you know what? No, Mike, I will come on. Somebody may have come home the other night drunk. And drank the other ones. All of them? All of them? No, yes, but it was funny to me at the time.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Michael! I'm just kidding. I got the three left. I got the three. Jesus Christ. I wanted to see how far we could take it. I did that once. Remember?
Starting point is 00:29:34 I did that once with something. I drank a bunch of them. Yeah. Yeah, but not to be a little troll and blow up your own podcast. Well, you know what got me was that sort of alcohol. Alcohol can be addicting in a way. So, you know, sometimes you start drinking it, you can't stop. COVID.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I'm hoping the audience really had a real like, oh, no, we're going to have to blast Hanford. But guess what? You can't now. He's unblastable. The unblastable Mike Hanford. But guess what? You can't now. He's unblastable. The unblastable Mike Hanford. I will say, though, I'm smelling my open maple pear can. Damn, this thing smells like
Starting point is 00:30:13 exactly like incense. Fragrant. And the reason is because I used it as an incense holder the other day. I can't smell the maple pear anymore. Just so that we're not being anticlimactic or kicking this weird can down the road, why don't I just crack that maple pear? Yeah, let's get that thing out of the way.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Okay. Tim, you take your drop. Great. So you've got a warm, was sitting in the recycling overnight, remnant dribble of a maple pear. Is that not appetizing? That sounds fucking gross.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Sips? Yeah, sips. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Ugh. Bad? I mean, I don't really like maple even as a... I like pancakes with maple syrup, but in general,
Starting point is 00:31:00 I'm not looking for maple candy or maple ice cream, so this in a bubble form is kind of weird. I like that maple candy. That's a good candy. Me too. Every so often and one piece at a time. Nasty. Not me.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Tim. A handful every morning. How was your dribble? I mean, I don't recommend this experience to people. It tasted more like uh ground coffee bean i've quite questions for you jeff because here so i'm smelling the can i'm getting a wallop of maple and to me that's very pleasant then when i drank i it just tasted like a rotten rank spoiled bad and and i really, I don't think I really got the, I maybe got a hint of like fakie, fakie, fakie maple
Starting point is 00:31:50 and really no pear, but I don't, I'm not really having the experience. So my question for you is, are you getting pear? Yeah, a little bit. Oh. You know, it's a little both. You're right, though.
Starting point is 00:32:07 The smell, I imagine, especially after it's been warm and sitting out, the maple, you really get it. Yeah. Yeah, I get pear, too. I don't like it. I don't like it as a drink. I'm looking forward to the next ones. Can I suggest an order now? Sure.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Apple crisp. Weirdest. Normalist to weirdest apple crisp pumpkin spice toasted marshmallow love it yes and i like that and how funny this heightened it back in the old days when we first did the ugly sweater pack when we started with the most normal we started with cranberry because that had been in their normal seltzer pack and then we heightened to apple crisp and we were like that's so weird there's like a baked good flavored water now a few months later apple crisp is like seems like a safe old friend compared to old friend um i gotta get the taste of this rotten shit out of my mouth so okay great next I gotta get the taste of this rotten shit out of my mouth Okay great next Good looking can I'll tell you that
Starting point is 00:33:10 Yeah that is a good looking can The maple can was beautiful That green and gold Okay Alright Okay again Maple pear and Apple crisp very similar in that they were like they're a fruit and then another thing yeah and that other thing is a spicy little baked good thing
Starting point is 00:33:34 oh that's what apple crisp i see it's like a um like a crumble pie and i mean any crumble we talked about this when we had these a year ago. They did it. I mean, it's up to you whether you like your water to taste like a carbohydrate. Something with flour in it. Yeah, flour. But they did pull it off. You're drinking cold, bubbly water, and then the aftertaste is very bakery-esque. I got to say this, and we've had this problem before with other Bud Light seltzer drinks.
Starting point is 00:34:06 It tastes, it's got that back of the tongue taste like diet soda. Yeah. Like there's that like last second, you're like, hey, this is okay. And right at the last second, it's like, oh, but here's the little chemical bit. Yeah, that little bloom of like aspartame or whatever it is. Yeah. Fenylalanine. And it's funny that our funny with these bud lights we found it's not even what tastes good or bad but it's it's really the context and the framing of like we liked the retro summer tie-dye
Starting point is 00:34:38 pack the best because they had flavors like blue raspberry that lend themselves to being fakey. And they were nostalgic for candy that was artificial and synthetic. It made sense. Yeah, it just made sense. I don't mind this Apple Crisp. I mean, I would definitely drink a bunch of them and get drunk. Yeah. Would I rather drink something else yes i would hope it doesn't come to that you know when you go to a party especially when you're young and poor
Starting point is 00:35:09 and you're like well i'm gonna start with a good beer because i'm only gonna have one of those i'm gonna start with a fat tire or whatever and then i'm gonna drink the shitty warm beer the milwaukee's best for the rest of the night but like while i can taste it and i got my wits about me i'm gonna do something that tastes nicer so then apple crisp feels like a good like late night like you don't care anymore yeah seltzer sure sure don't give a fuck about anything the last thing left it's just funny with the seltzers like that white claw is just it's you know it's a fun crushable beach. It's a pool party barbecue drink. So when you get into these winter seltzers, you're kind of like, it's hard to think about sitting around the old fire drinking them.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Sitting around the old snowman. Oh, yeah. Yes. As he's melting next to the fire. As we work our way toward pumpkin spice, I wanted to ask you guys, like, pumpkin spice latte is symbolic to a lot of people of the arrival of fall even though it comes out in in august people start saying oh my god bumping spices here lots of people hold off i i like it i do order it maybe once a year i i like any kind of fall shit that pops up at dunkin' Donuts as well. And it has me thinking for you guys, the autumn months,
Starting point is 00:36:29 do you have any activities or traditions that you take part in as an autumnal adult? I used to be, when I was drinking coffee, yeah, I would always belly up to the bar at Starbucks and say, give me one of those pumpkin spices, and I loved it. And then I started liking the caramel lattes with the crisscross caramel uh but now i don't do that as much anymore uh the big thing for me this fall that i've been having fun with and we touched out earlier is wearing all those those warm clothes again yep layer them up layer them down oh cut the long sleeves out oh i bought a lot of remember
Starting point is 00:37:07 how last winter i went a little nuts on depop and i ordered all these like molson sweaters like like a white v-neck that says cores on it and stuff like that i never wore any of them so i'm hoping it gets cold enough for i could so i can bust them out complete the fit. Yeah, you can wear them at the fish show. It's going to be cold that night, probably. That's winter. I'm talking about autumn. Autumn. Jeff, are you going to the hay mazes?
Starting point is 00:37:34 Oh, you watch the spooky movies? I watch the spooky movies. Well, I feel like we're past Halloween, so we shouldn't linger on Halloween, but I do try to dress up. Okay, so autumn. We're talking leaf peeping. Do you do any leaf peeping? No, I'm from New Hampshire, so I take leaf peeping for granted.
Starting point is 00:37:50 I'm used to it. I'm used to all that beauty. You ever go up to Lake Arrowhead or Big Bear and say, this is kind of like these goats a little bit. No, no. The leaves are falling over here. It's fantastic. You got to rake them up. You got to rake them up.
Starting point is 00:38:05 You got to rake them up and dispose of them. I talked to my, I took to talk to my neighborhood assemblyman to take care of that. I don't do the public, the public spice latte. I don't do the pumpkin spice latte, but I've also noticed that brewers or people who carry beer like your cap and corks and stuff they seem to to be a little prejudiced prejudiced against pumpkin beer everybody carries octoberfest but i feel like there's like an elite an elitism where nobody's wants to provide pumpkin beer the same way that like starbucks what does pumpkin spice latte you know what's weird is there's a fakey um there's a beer i forget what they call it but i saw this in like a beer documentary on
Starting point is 00:38:51 netflix that um there some of the big macro brews will package some of their smaller shingle products and make it seem to be a micro brew and anheuser-busch does have a pumpkin stout that they you have to look really close in the fine print to see it's made by budweiser because they make it look like a vermonti type of thing and it's sitting right next to the dogfish head and you're like oh but that looks like a small thing but it's really budweiser pumpkin stout damn you know i had a uh i had a cherry a cherry blonde no it was some it was some sort of like cherry-ish beer and it reminded me that once upon a time sam adams had cherry wheat do you oh yeah yeah those were pretty i remember enjoying those they felt a little artificial compared to this one
Starting point is 00:39:39 though the this nice one i had i hated it i hated hated them. But I remember I would go nuts for cherry wheat. Like that and Sam Summer, I thought were like, those are my beers. The pumpkin beers are tough. Like, I don't really like those. Yeah, me neither. It's weird in general, pumpkin, what are we recreating? Like, pumpkin pie.
Starting point is 00:40:01 I'll have a slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving. But are you excited about it to put in another remember we went to the donut place out in the san gabriel valley donut man uh a little moogie b's favorite donut place i got a pumpkin donut there that was just like so so full of that pumpkin shit uh that like you know that like canned kind of i mean i love donut man hey side note i've been get i think that's a fall thing for me is donuts in general i uh apple cider donut when i was a kid i would have uh soccer practice on saturday mornings in the fall so i the parents would bring like uh apple cider donuts like the cake donuts you know yeah and sounds great i never had and you never really see apple cider donuts in la but we do have all these like independently owned like chinese family
Starting point is 00:40:50 run donut shops like donut man and daily donut and all these and i've been going there and getting a fucking apple fritter baby hey when we were in chicago jeff we were at uh we were at a donut place. Jeff gets two donuts. He gets a pretty straight up apple-y, crispy, whatever. Apple cider donut. And then you got something wild that I liked. It was off the wall. Yeah, I misunderstood. I was trying to get another simple one and they gave me a really opulent little thing covered in frosting and stuff. I'm glad you liked it. It was good. I like to do one plain glazed and then one wild one, but I don't like the...
Starting point is 00:41:29 I'm tired of the donut places. They're like, we pile all the Captain Crunch and then there's a bacon and there's a pretzel. It's like, who cares? There's an ice cream place here in New York that's got waffle cones dipped in whatever, chocolate or white chocolate and then dip that into crumbly shit.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Cereals. Too much. And it's like so much stuff on it. Too much. When David Chang did the Corn Flake milk or the originals you're like, oh that's interesting to repurpose a pop food thing.
Starting point is 00:42:04 But then now we're 15 years later. We don't need to eat Captain Crunch all the time. They're like, sir, you can have just a plain waffle cone. All right, well, you're going to put some fucking ice cream in it this time? Hey, speaking of pumpkins, you remember our old, was it Comedy Bang Bang? Back in, or Comedy Death Ray? We did that bit where... We ate a pumpkin. we ate a pumpkin we ate a pumpkin it was like the birthday boys uh here to present the birthday boys eat a pumpkin and we just said like you know in seven minutes can we eat it can we yeah finish the whole
Starting point is 00:42:37 thing and uh we had we had like pre-carved it as far as like taking the lid off so we could get to the insides and then everybody was just sort of like scooping out the guts and the seeds and trying to choke it down and like biting the rind and all that yeah did we put like five minutes on the clock or something yeah and um i thought that we would be able to i thought it would at least be possible and it turns out like it's putrid you can't you can't eat any of that shit any of it oh yeah mitch puked yeah yeah what were we just talking about with the uh i haven't bought a donut purchase a donut to eat forever i might do that soon mike you're gonna like it donuts are good and here's a crazy thing
Starting point is 00:43:17 about donuts i live right by a donut place and i'm trying not to eat you try not to eat donuts all the time so then when you go and you buy a donut eat donuts all the time. So then when you go and you buy a donut, and it's so cheap, it almost makes you mad. You're like, this fucking sinful, indulgent treat is only 60 cents? Are you kidding me? Yeah. If I go to a donut place, and it's cheap,
Starting point is 00:43:38 and I eat it, and I really like it, I'm going to go, well, I'm still in the donut shop. Okay, okay, yeah. This man right here, he understood the assignment. Cool, man. Yep. You know, I looked at all the different types of donuts at my donut shop, and I said, okay, dream blunt rotation.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. He did. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:44:00 He did it. Should we do the next Celtics? This is October 31st and november 1st yes thank you yas queen yeah should we move on to the next yas queen spice let's hope it's nice hold on wait for me the smell is very good it smells exactly like fucking pie okay it doesn't smell like a pumpkin spice good it smells exactly like fucking pie okay it doesn't smell like a pumpkin spice latte it smells like a pumpkin pie what are we doing here man oh wait now hold on hold on a second accurate it's almost got a gingerbread-y thing too yes
Starting point is 00:44:43 it's very gingerbread-y oh yeah was. Yes. It's very gingerbread-y. Oh, yeah. Was there gingerbread in the holiday pack last year? Wasn't there? Yeah. Yeah, gingerbread cookie. There was, right? Oh, no, it was ginger snap. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:57 This is not bad. Wow. I don't know. Michael, I am shocked. This does not have... I would drink a full one of these and be happy about it. I would thank you for it. I wouldn't go back and have a second one
Starting point is 00:45:15 because I can already feel my mouth puckering up with this gross sweetness. Also, not bad in this world of wacky seltzers yeah i'm weirded out because i mean they did a good job with the flavor as they always did but like i'm just thinking about a pumpkin and anything from that kind of like squash gourd family yeah root vegetables. It's like yam soda. Oh, I want to barf. Well, I do feel like this is a little bit of a course correct from the previous prank packs because these are all a little bit drinkable. I don't love them, but I would give them all like a C plus on drinkability. None of them are like crazy. It's not like drinking a warhead or something.
Starting point is 00:46:04 Because that was always the problem is just too much flavor. It's like you drinking a warhead or something because that was always the problem is just too much flavor it's like you got a weird flavor just keep it mild you know we don't need to be knocked over the head with a strange flavor um it's kind of growing on me a little bit it's pretty good i guess the toss-up will be between this and apple crisp but again maple pear if you guys were trying the maple pear, I think these would all be head to head. I think I would like, knowing that I have a proclivity toward
Starting point is 00:46:31 maple and pear. I like a Bartlett. We'll all have a Bosque. Hey, that pear is something I haven't had in even longer than the last time I had a donut that I bought. That I purchased.
Starting point is 00:46:47 God, you're making me want to go next door and get one of those apple fritters right now. You guys know an apple fritter? You know what that looks like? Yeah. No. It looks like a bear claw. It's not a circle.
Starting point is 00:46:58 It's just, it soaks up the most oil because it's just like a lumpy brown bumper. It looks like a funnel cake almost, like fried dough. Oh, yeah, yeah. It doesn't have a holey brown bumper it's like it looks like a funnel cake almost like fried dough oh yeah yeah it doesn't have a hole in the middle i thought it did no the only thing with a hole in the middle is your fucking brain dude okay yeah except for i had um let's see a bagel this morning shit busted i miss the uh dunkin donuts krellers do they still do those i heard they don't do them anymore like the sticks the twit the big twisty vanilla sticks i like those i like i like the
Starting point is 00:47:32 french one yeah yeah little twister do they not i bet they do or they maybe they do them differently i think it's so weird that duncan is like that they even still have the donuts you go to the one in atwater everyone's ordering coffee left and right. You won't see anyone eat a donut. I love them. I like the munchkin pack. It's fun. That's why they dropped the name. You know, they just go by Duncan now. Yeah, it's just Duncan. Oh.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Well, Tim, I don't like it, okay? Well, fuck you, dude. Time to make the donuts. Yeah, time to eat the fucking donuts. You guys want to crack this fourthie? Before we crack it, though though i want to say that this is maybe the weakest theme toasted marshmallow to me is a summer camping no summer toast a marshmallow on a little stick yeah okay see it it fits fall for me just because it's uh woodsy yeah woodsy and like uh because it's in this pack but you're right it's probably more of a summer thing because like i was back i was very swayed
Starting point is 00:48:32 oh it's a fall pack that's a fall thing mike you can't let them bully you just because they put it in the back you don't have to accept that you can have free will this bud light budweiser corporation has had me for years okay so what marshmallow is? Marshmallow is like puffed sugar, and then when you hold it over a fire, it gets toasted and browned and caramelized. Let's see if we get all of that. But it's a very specific... Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:58 Smells like cotton candy. Ooh, fuck. It smells like cereal or something. Oh, fuck. It smells like cereal or something. Oh, wow. That tastes like an iced coffee. Or like a cream soda. Like an A&W cream soda. Absolutely, both.
Starting point is 00:49:15 I'm getting iced coffee and cream soda. I'm going to be the sick fuck that says I actually like this one the most. Dude, I am into this. Tim, Tim, don't be so shy with that microphone, buddy. Get close. Come on, tell us how you feel. Don't think about toasted marshmallow. Just let your mind be whatever it wants to be.
Starting point is 00:49:33 It has a nice caramel kind of like molasses-y thing going on. You know what this tastes like? Have you guys ever drank like a SlimFast or an Ensure? Never. No. This is this this i wish i could drink a slim fast but my physique doesn't require it this reminds me of like uh rice crispy treats cereal or the milk when you're done with lucky charms yeah absolutely cereal milk that's good huh holy shit i expected this to be like yeahrinkable, and I find myself really liking it.
Starting point is 00:50:09 It's just not at all what I thought. It doesn't really even taste like a toasted marshmallow. God damn. I really like this. It reminds me of like, I have some of this like fancy sugar that I bought at the cocktail store that's like Demerara sugar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:24 It's just like that. Like sugar cane. Like Demerara sugar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just like that, like sugar cane. Like Demerara rum. Yeah. Yeah, it has a little rumminess to it. Maybe that could be, guys, you're making up your little rum cocktail, maybe even spiced rum, like a Captain Morgan or Sailor Jerry drink,
Starting point is 00:50:38 and then you top it off with not soda, not ginger ale, but toasted marshmallow. Toasted marshmallow. Bubbly seltzer packed shit. Are there any cocktails with maple syrup in it? Gotta be. A maple old-fashioned I've had.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Up in like Montreal and stuff. I don't know if it's an old traditional thing, but I had kind of a lot of them in Montreal. And it's basically just, you know, an old-fashioned wouldn't have a sugar cube in it. So it's just a little drizzle of maple instead. Damn. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:09 And I'll do like a Boulevardier with just a little splash of maple syrup on top. Just like, just a, just a gross little thing. Oh, maybe when I see, uh, when I bump into Sam Ross next, I'll be like, Hey, why don't we, uh, why don't we put our brains together on a maple syrup drink? That's a good idea. He'll be like,
Starting point is 00:51:28 no, not you. I've had your stuff. Maple, I love maple shit. I can't believe, Jeff, you only like it on pancakes.
Starting point is 00:51:35 Hey, speaking of that, do you like, I never order pancakes or, or, or, waffles.
Starting point is 00:51:43 I always go more like scrambles and omelets and eggy savory breakfast. However, if I'm in New Hampshire, I would, uh, I would order a, a, a pancake in order to get the good maple syrup.
Starting point is 00:52:01 But what do you guys think of the maple syrup? That is, I mean, it's non maple, like, like you're, you're Mrs. Butterworth's or you're just,
Starting point is 00:52:10 it's just like corn syrup. You like that? My favorite syrup as a kid was like the store brand light syrup. I thought it was so fucking good. Like their take on Aunt Jemima. Just like Shaw's brand or like Damoulis brand. And it was just the light version of their syrup. I would just, Oh, so good. And I would just the light version of their syrup. I would just,
Starting point is 00:52:25 Oh, so good. And I would just pancakes are just a syrup delivery mechanism to me. I like pancakes. I know I don't order much, but I do like them. I always think of the Mitch Hedberg bit, like pancakes are something like they're good for one bite.
Starting point is 00:52:38 And then you get fucking sick of them. And I think that pancakes, I've just like learned that lesson the hard way. If you start a day with pancakes, it's insane. You're, you're just learned that lesson the hard way. If you start a day with pancakes, it's insane. You're eating cake. I'll go out for breakfast with people and say, hey, I'm going to get the egg thing. Does anyone want to split a pancake?
Starting point is 00:52:54 And we get a pancake for the table. It's one pancake. Pancake for the table. Mike, we ate a couple of six shooters at the Astro Diner recently, and we had a choice. Did you take the pancake option? I think I got toast instead of pancakes. What was the choice? I think you slammed your fist down on the table and you said, I take the biscuit option.
Starting point is 00:53:16 I choose death. I got myself some blackstrap molasses the other day. You guys ever get into molasses? I don't know what that's all about. What do you put that on? I see. Well, just now, today, I made toast, put some peanut butter on there, chopped up a banana, and drizzled a little molasses, and God, it was good.
Starting point is 00:53:35 I saw that on your Instagram. Damn good. All right. Molasses in an old-fashioned? Try that, too, maybe? The maple is good. You're going to like the maple old-fashioned. Hey, if we get that get that bud light guy i'm gonna really try and push him to do a molasses yeah that's that's definitely a flavor that gets kids excited molasses let's party all night at
Starting point is 00:53:55 the quad i hope kids have nothing to do with these drinks honestly yeah don't drink if you're under 21 i i i think that this toasted marshmallow is so weird but it's also the best seltzer that bud light has ever made think of a cream soda think ibc you're good yep oh i love an ibc i think that we should come up with a cocktail with ibc cream soda bourbon and cream soda oh what about like like an orange and cream? That could be good. That's another. Oh, you're thinking cream soda is just cream soda.
Starting point is 00:54:30 Yes, yes, yes, yes. Now I get it. Shit, I keep forgetting. I was, a year ago I talked about, I was supposed to invent a cocktail for this show, which was one of those Mexican apple sodas. And I was going to use that with bourbon and some other stuff and make an autumnal drink.
Starting point is 00:54:44 I keep forgetting to do that. Well, I think you can, I think before the year's out, we can tackle that. Sure. That could be kind of, actually kind of awesome. Also that, you know, like a whiskey ginger, just instead of ginger beer, doing a cream soda. I feel like you could get something out of that. Yeah. Whiskey creme.
Starting point is 00:55:01 It is weird that cream soda is never used. Root beer is famously used in a Russian root. We all know that. All of the sodas should be used. Like, why does a 7 and 7 get so famous, yet an IBC and BVD? I got IBC in my BVD. Is IBC regional? I think it's, I thought it was northeast.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Is that out here? I've seen it out here. Because I got it. Actually, no, maybe it think it's... I thought it was northeast. Is that out here? I've seen it out here. Because I got it... Actually, no, maybe it was A&W. I don't know. I went to Death & Co. A couple... Yeah, Death & Co.
Starting point is 00:55:34 A couple weeks ago with a friend. And I was like... I was like telling him about the Russian root. And I wasn't going to order one there. But I was like... The person I was with, they were like, Oh, I haven't had root beer in like a long time. I don't going to order one there but I was like the person I was with they're like I haven't had root beer in like a long time I don't even remember the the flavor of it I was like hold on I was like excuse me you do have a you don't have a root beer back there do you
Starting point is 00:55:53 the bartender was very busy he's like nope death and go is like the last place where you'd be like can you make my weird little idea I know you guys have put in your geniuses and you've made the most beautiful menu. No, no, I wasn't even going to have a Russian root. That would be way too far. Well, they should have some fancy sodas on hand for the non-drinkers in the house.
Starting point is 00:56:15 I got a feeling he did and he didn't want to help me out. Hey, take a look at these cans. Are you guys noticing anything? There's the flavor at the top, right? Yeah. And you'll see right above the nutrition facts it says pumpkin spice flavored with other natural flavors apple crisp flavored with other natural flavors maple pear again with other natural flavors you get to toasted marshmallow toasted marshmallow flavored and artificially flavored. Oh. Not a natural thing in this one.
Starting point is 00:56:46 Interesting. And stuff like that is always, like, based on very strict FDA rules, and they're like, well, we have to word it this way. I love the look of the cans. I love that they correspond. The pumpkin one is orange. The toasted marshmallow one is brownish.
Starting point is 00:57:04 It's like white and golden brown. The Red Apple Crisp one looks just like my very jacket that I'm trying to pop off. I know, I know. You should be putting that jacket back on. It's a little hot here. Well, I'm ready to take a break. I'm going to use the bathroom and then I'm ready to rank.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Rank them. Yeah, some of these flavors are rank. Come on now. Folks, we'll see you in a sec. And we're back with our final thoughts on the Bud Light Seltzer. Who wants to kick it off? I'll kick it off. These are fun. They're not meant to be good or bad.
Starting point is 00:57:45 They're meant to be conversation starters. They're like the Harry Potter jelly beans. You get some friends over and you say. And also, it's just I'm looking forward in coming this winter. The Bud Light seltzers. The holiday ones coming are sugar plum, cherry cordial, Seltzer, Nog, Cranberry. That's fun. Sugar Plum.
Starting point is 00:58:07 And my personal recommendation, folks, if you want a holiday seltzer that's good and you live in upstate New York, get the Saranac. They have Blackberry Crumble, Cranberry Orange Tort, Apple Crisp in nice green glass bottles. You drink them on Christmas morning. I got to remember to look for those because uh i'm sure they'll be around my neck of the woods you're gonna like them the oh what's your ranking though what's your top to bottom oh uh least favorite to favorite okay well i'm i'm gonna say that number one toasted marshmallow i can't believe it but it happened wow so he's going favorite to least favorite.
Starting point is 00:58:45 Interesting. I thought it would be more funny to go down. He flipped the script on you, Mike. I have a hard choice between apple crisp and maple pear because I didn't really taste maple pear, but I think I would like it more. That's like me calling my favorite frozen treat something I've never eaten before. Yeah, exactly. favorite uh frozen treat something i never eaten before yeah exactly okay it goes uh marsh maple crisp pumpkin spice last place is pumpkin spice sorry okay okay okay i'm gonna make it even simpler on you i think that maple apple crisp and pumpkin spice are all equally weird and kind of bad. I'm going to give them a C, and they're all in last place.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Wow. And then you got toasted marshmallow. I would give that sort of a delighted B+. Okay. It's not better than a lot of drinks, but of the three, it's like head and shoulders the best. Yeah. Of the four, it's head and shoulders the best yeah of the four it's head and shoulders the best i i will say so you've got three in last place nothing for third and second
Starting point is 00:59:52 and then a first place good uh i this i feel like the first time we did this last uh holiday season they were kind of weird but they tasted like tasted like... I don't remember the chemical he tasted as much. It's just they're getting more and more chemical to me, and I hope they're listening and they're correcting that now. Mike, it's because they have to reach further and further away from nature to make these flavors. They're playing God. That's true.
Starting point is 01:00:17 If it were up to me, honestly, all these flavors would be all natural, organic from the earth. But that's just me. my ranking from worst to best thank you is the one i didn't have pear uh was a pair of maple then it's too explodey too explodey that i can't even keep this thing in a can then the marshmallow no yes then marshmallow then apple top of the pops is pumpkin spice for me and with that i'm gonna take another sip whoa he's doing it he's actually doing it oh he's barfing nasty nasty stuff i mean it's been a fun ride with these bud light seltzers i don't know where in my brain like i don't know what's happening it's not good food
Starting point is 01:01:10 i mean it's not food at all it's a drink come on but like how much do we do this we have a podcast to do we have a list to we have an iba list to cover why do we do this to ourselves and there's so many seltzers in the world that our listeners would love us to cover, and we don't. We're like, look, we're not doing all the seltzers. Maybe. Something about the Bud Light. Bud Light has a sense of a playful spirit that we're enjoying.
Starting point is 01:01:37 And I feel like we have a sense of ownership because we cracked this on Booze News, and then it became an episode, and then we just kept doing them. That is it. That was it. Maybe for the holiday pack this year we bookend it. We did a year of these things. And then if one comes out that's like, whoa, we gotta try the Easter pack.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Fine. Fine. Easter pack would be funny if it was like Cadbury and stuff. Cream egg seltzer. Peep flavored. Yeah, peep. But they can't say peep, so it would be like marshmallow bird. Marshmallow chick. Puffed bird.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Marshmallow yellow bird. Nah, but then you get into my territory. I'm up in the yellow bird tree. And they don't want to get into that territory. And you might want to go for a ride on a paper plane later. How do you think I got up in the yellow bird tree? You wrote a paper plane to the yellow bird tree.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Mike, you should write some of that shit. That's sort of like Bob Dylan shit. I wrote a paper plane to the yellow bird tree. And people are like, wow, he's a fucking genius. Yeah, that is good. Alright, I'll work on that. Great. I got the assignment. Nice, dude's a fucking genius. Yeah, that is good. All right, I'll work on that. Great. I got the assignment. Nice, dude.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Dream blunt rotation. That's our show. Follow us on social media, at The Sloppy Boys, where we release these recipes ahead of time. Also, be sure to check out our Patreon, the aforementioned Patreon, with all those goodies you know about.
Starting point is 01:02:59 We talk about them all the time. Go check it out. And hey, say you're one of our very very wealthy listeners maybe uh you check out the uh pay pig tier that's really selling it yeah become a little get in the sty and also hey just because we talk about it like that doesn't mean we don't respect you we love you we're we're grateful well okay we did good and so did you at home happy fall to all and i think i know what my dream blunt rotation is all of our friends who came to the chicago show from the patreon dan badly laura
Starting point is 01:03:42 vinegar you name him we got him them. Harghee was not there. Alright, well, we can deal with that later. Folks, we love you. We'll see you next week, and we wish you many autumnal pleasures. Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys! Give it up for your boys Give it up for your boys
Starting point is 01:04:07 Give it up for your boys

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