The Sloppy Boys - 56. Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack
Episode Date: November 12, 2021The guys drink some autumnal oddities.Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack available in select stores. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys where we take a deep dive into the drinks that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
I just ate a lot of Pastorino.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up, autumnal stylies?
Yeah, it is autumnal stylies.
That's probably why you ate so much Pasta Rino.
I made so much damn spaghetti over here with a meat sauce that I made a whole bunch.
And, you know, I like to make some and say, I have some for lunch tomorrow.
I went through the whole thing.
I ate it all.
No.
A pot of sauce and a pound of spaghetti.
Well, not a whole, like of sauce and a pound of spaghetti.
Well, not a whole,
probably like half a box of spaghetti.
Wow.
And this meat sauce made from scratch?
No, no, Tim.
I just browned some turkey, ground turkey.
What?
What do you mean?
I browned ground turkey.
I browned ground.. I browned ground.
That's cooking.
That's cooking.
That's from scratch.
I count that.
Yeah.
I thought you were like more of a prego guy, you know?
No, it's just frying it up there, Jeff.
And here's the thing.
Here's what I did.
I want to ask you guys.
Tim, you've worked in a restaurant, but maybe Jeff, you know too.
I took, I froze this ground turkey that I bought,
and I just put it right into a... I tried to thaw it.
I kind of forgot that I was going to have this tonight,
so I was like, oh, I'll take this out of the freezer.
And I just put it right into the frying pan from frozen.
It was a brick, but it finally broke.
I did a very low heat.
Is that...
Why are you not supposed to do that?
Is it a taste thing or a health it's it's
so that you don't burn the outside and the inside is ice so i think i think the solution is just
doing it on low heat like you did i think it's more of an etiquette thing you know this is kind
of crude to do that it's kind of weird it's just kind of lewd and crude me and jeff are going to
save up and send you off to one of those cotillion etiquette schools and bring you back a nice little
gentleman and get you some manners.
You should send me to cooking school after the
meal I had that was awful.
Now, Mike, I can't believe you ate all that because you're the king
of Tupperware.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, guess what, Jeff?
I put some of the browned
meat in the Tupperware.
Oh, I knew you'd have some Tupperware involved.
So you pulled some of the browned meat
out before you added the sauce.
That's right.
Okay.
And I don't know what I'm going to do with that.
I got tortilla shells over here.
Maybe I'll whip it into a quesadilla.
Maybe fans can vote.
Should it be tacos or what will it be, folks?
I feel like a lot on this show we will say things like,
folks, you decide, and
nobody really gets back to us on that.
And also we don't give away for them to...
They get back to me. They call me on the phone.
Oh yeah, they call you. I get my home,
my landline rings off the hook all the time.
Hey Tim, I have an idea
for Vermouth Month.
Hey,
speaking of interactive things,
this is something we've talked to our fans about before
i've got a really big surprise that's gonna shock you guys are you ready to have
you oh the surprise is now oh shit the surprise is now dang look what i look what i just found
digging through my closet i i i wanted i was thinking of the theme of the today's show
and i wanted to see maybe i'll have something appropriate to wear.
And I didn't know what this was.
I'd never seen it before.
Take a look.
He's grabbing it now, folks.
Oh, my.
Okay.
Wow.
This is huge.
It's a fucking red buffalo plaid.
The very thing I was trying to get Hanford to get.
And that's like a jacket, too.
Is that zipping up or buttoning up?
It's a buttoned down fleece jacket.
It's like a work jacket.
I've been trying to get Mike to get a Carhartt one of these.
This one is Croft and Barrow, the store brand from cole's department store i believe given to me
by my mommy and uh and mike it could be yours if you play your cards right well i've i've last time
i saw you you gave me a your own your sweatshirt off your back that was uh it was it was green
i'm very happy to take a look at this when i see you next. Try it on and take a look at it.
That's all I ask is that you'll entertain the idea.
Hear my pitch.
I would love to.
I do not want to put you in the position of being bound to this agreement right now.
I think we should both get together and look at it.
I think you should take it on a walk around the block.
I give you some space.
You have your own time to see how it goes.
I come back.
I'm like, it's gone they stole it um no i don't know if you guys had this uh jeff or mike
when you lived in la we you know my my parents will give me warm cozy clothes for christmas and
then the next day i get on a plane and go back to a place that's 100 degrees so i've got a lot
of winter clothes that just live in the closet yeah and you suspect
that's the origin of this i think this is an unworn christmas gift appreciated
deeply but but unworn and just you know it got kind of filed away but never archived
in my brain as an option filed but not archived see i thought there was sort of some mystical
thing where it's like wow tim has this closet where whatever he tells his friend to wear
will appear digging in the depths of the closet dude we should write a short story like that
yeah tell your closet i want to be wearing a new ferrari yeah yeah tell because I want to be wearing Christy Brinkley.
I think I'm going to come out in December sometime.
Carol of the Bells. Wait, when are you coming again?
Sometime in December, maybe, okay?
Whoa.
Mike, I was going to fly to you in December.
This is sort of like a gift to the magi.
I was going to high five out the plane.
But you're coming like early, or like
right before Christmas, right?
Yeah, there's this whole thing where like,
yeah,
yeah, I think, I might flip it.
I might come to you after
between Christmas and New Year's. How would that
suit you? Great, because then you can come to the
fish
New Year's show. That's kind of what I was thinking.
You know, I was sort of like
digging my heels in on this whole fish thing, and I said, you know I was sort of like digging my heels in on
this whole fish thing and I said you know what just
give Mike what he wants I don't understand
why you would pull the have for your Christmas season
when you know you know New Year's Eve
Madison Square Garden doge
that's that's a good thing to aim for
well that'll be that'll be good we'll talk more about
that off pod yeah wait a minute we shouldn't be
talking about this at all it's boring content
yeah and it's time for
boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo
Boo's News.
Yeah.
Here we go.
What is up?
It's time for
B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Boo's News.
Brought to you by
Tim, Jeff, and Mike.
Collectively known
as the Sloppy Boys.
The news starts now. and Mike, collectively known as the Sloppy Boys.
The news starts now.
Hit it.
You tip jar
cheapskate knucklehead.
Wow. That was some
tangerine dream type shit.
That was cool.
Do you think that was sent in by AI?
Robo Booze News sent to us by Dan Padley.
The Dan Padley.
Padley.
Met him up in Chicago.
Great guy.
Yes, yes.
This was a funny thing.
I talked about this to him.
Folks, we played in Chicago a couple weeks ago.
Got to meet a lot of slopheads.
It was very fun.
But in advance of
in advance i think i showed you guys this i could i couldn't find it when i was looking for it but
in advance of the show we got an instagram message from a very nice uh listener who said um you know
hey we're having a meetup uh some of the slop heads are having a meetup and uh we'd love for
the band to come join us and uh you know there's gonna be some pretty big slop heads are having a meetup and, we'd love for the band to come join us.
And,
uh, you know,
there's going to be some pretty big slop heads there.
There's going to be,
we might have Dan Padley.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Laura vinegar was another one.
They were like real prominent.
You might bump into Laura vinegar,
Dan Padley.
And,
uh,
and I love,
I was like,
damn,
holy shit.
So when I,
uh,
when we were playing Chicago,
I was over at the t-shirt table.
Who did I meet?
Dan Padley himself.
He did show.
Were you starstruck?
I was starstruck as hell.
Absolutely.
D, Dan Padley.
He did it in a cool fashion
where most of the slopheads were there
from the Discord on Thursday night
and Friday night,
but then Padley just came in just for Friday night.
He was like, wow.
Padley knows how to make an entrance.
Yeah, he did.
Yeah, wow.
He did.
But yes, I was very starstruck.
He didn't give a fuck about me,
but I was starstruck to meet him, I'll tell you that.
He may have been somebody.
Somebody gave me a shot of Malort.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe he was involved in that.
I forget.
A lot of Malort going around.
I've got, I had like seven shots of Malort.
And also, I've got a little nip of Malort for one of you.
Not it. I have, yeah, you gave me one. I've got it here. So, Jeff, I've got a little a nip of muller for one of you um not it i have
yeah you gave me one i've got it here so jeff i've got yours and they let me take it on the plane
little uh a carry-on liquid never carried liquid uh just go ahead and take the cap off and dump it
down the toilet and we'll call it yeah if you got a booze news theme email it to the sloppy
boys podcast at gmail.com okay mike, Mike, you got booze news.
I got some booze news tangentially.
You know, I never really have the straight-in booze news anymore.
You like to work around the margins.
Some fringe stuff.
You know how we did the pickleback shot?
Yes.
Oh, yeah.
And Fran was here, and it was really fun,
and the pickleback is a great drink.
We were talking about making pickles and look what i put
in a pickled a jar of vinegar a little while ago about five days ago some pickles and some dill i
got some dill i put it in an old pepperoncini it's a pepperoncini that finished up quickly
it looks great vinegar and wow i did vinegar up... Vinegar and dill and cucumber.
Yep.
But they were like the small cucumbers.
I don't know if I got the right one.
Like, it wasn't just a big one.
So I'm going to try one because it's been in about five days, which they suggested.
Wow.
He's opening it now, folks.
I see the muscles and tendons in his forearm flexing.
Oh, he's scared.
Nice crunch. Hey! That's he's scared. Nice crunch.
Hey!
That's like a Vlasic crunch.
That's not bad.
Does it taste like a classic pickle
or is it your own spin?
It's a little like too...
It tastes really good.
I think just like getting the dill amounts right,
but it's like...
You need more dill.
That's like straight vinegar?
No, it's vinegar.
It's a half and half vinegar and water
with salt in it, and you boil that up
to... or you heat it up to
get all the salt out of there.
And you just cut them up and put them in...
cut the cucumbers up, put it in
this brine, add some dill.
You could also add
like garlic and anything you want.
Damn, dude. I'm impressed.
These could probably stay in longer because I'm still
tasting a little bit of cucumber-y taste.
Wow. Do you like that?
So it's like a half sour.
I want
all sour.
I can't believe that worked. I'm so happy.
That's great. You gotta use that juice for your pickleback shots now.
Uh-huh.
Ooh.
We did some pickleback shots with Fran this weekend, keeping the traditional live.
She still had some of that spicy.
With the McClure spicy.
I got to say, did not prefer the spicy McClure.
I know that's the-
Spicy not so nice-y?
I know that's like the hip standard um but i kind
of prefer the cool crisp uh normal ass pickle juice i've been making myself vodka and mcclure
just the vodka on the rocks a little dribble and mcclure spicy juice right in there it's delicious
all right that sounds damn good well the thing with the shot is you get like a burning whiskey
followed by a burning pickle juke and i wanted that cool cool crisp not that hot hot crisp you don't want double burn daddy you had some booze news
oh but mine's a fucking whopper so you go next oh wait oh shit damn mine's a little squeaker
okay you do a little squeaker mine was i had one of my revelations. You know, every once in a while, something will hit me and I'll say, this, I cracked your case.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
I think that happened.
I want that to be my reputation anyway.
Anyway.
It is.
Michael, you recently met the inventor
of the paper plane cocktail.
Yes.
Sam Ross.
Sam Ross.
Very nice guy.
Australian guy.
I did not expect the Australian accent.
Oh. Okay,. Sam Ross. Very nice guy. Australian guy. I did not expect the Australian accent. Oh, okay, mate.
Exactly.
Well, I was thinking about the paper plane.
Remember when we did the paper plane, we were like, oh, it was named the paper plane cocktail
because that MIA song was popular at the time.
Right.
the paper plane cocktail because that mia song was popular at the time right but then we were like but this isn't like a there's no like sri lankan schnapps or or like british specific
british gin or like there was nothing necessarily tying it to the paper plane concept other than
right his name for the song then i'm walking down the street and i get hit by this massive brainstorm was that another
new york cocktail we've covered from that same era from death and co invented by joaquin c mo
the naked and famous is also an indie rock song jeff you pointed that out
an indie rock song.
Jeff, you pointed that out.
It's not MGMT.
It is... The band is called
The Naked and Famous.
Ah, the band is called
The Naked and Famous.
So I surmise
that the thing to do
on the Lower East Side of Manhattan
in the 2000s
was to name your drinks
after indie rock hits.
Did you look up when the band formed
and when the drink was made?
It was exactly right then.
Yeah, it was like 2011, 2013.
Like the song 2011 and then the drink 2013.
Damn.
You cracked the case there, Timmy.
Okay, let's hear this whopper, Jeff.
I have on good authority. You know've you know i've got you know
i've got feelers out everywhere right always i just uh you know i haven't been a big contributor
to booze news but i feel like this is gonna put me over the top damn i have on good authority
that coca-cola is developing a coca-cCola branded whiskey Coke product.
Oh, baby.
I like that.
A nice can of whiskey Coke.
Didn't we talk?
Didn't we cover that?
I hope that they're working with Jack Daniels, Jack and Coke, the classic.
That would be interesting.
I heard this from.
Oh, yes.
The reason I feel like we've talked about this before is because I think you mentioned it, or I was with you or something.
Right then and there.
IRL, off pod.
Yeah.
Good thing you remembered, Jeff.
I didn't remember.
That's very exciting.
I love whiskey Coke.
And of all the canned beverages, when they're just weird malt beverages, it's like, oh, whatever.
But if they put real whiskey in real Coke, Timmy likey.
Yeah.
And I feel like Coke, they might chicken out, to be honest.
I got to protect my sources.
So I'm not going to say anything.
But I bet you that Coke is too big of a company, too safe of a brand to actually follow through on this.
I hope I'm wrong.
I'd love to be wrong.
We know that Coke and Pepsi will just, they toy with these ideas and they don't have to act on them.
They just got their flavorist doing their bidding.
I wonder if it's going to be like a can or in a bottle.
Will it be a different chance?
It would be nice if it was in that kind of classic Christmas glass bottle.
Or a bag.
Or a bag.
Or a box.
That would be so weird if it's in a bag a sleeve it could be a sleeve sleeve of liquor hey i've got an inside scooped i'm angling as well i i
hinted this to you guys but through my hollywood connections i know a guy who knows a guy who
knows a guy who works at anheuser-busch and has worked on the the bl seltzer team i might i might
i might have to like do with some of my little backroom biddings to get them on the show that
would be cool you know my backroom biddings right oh yeah we should have him on as one of those like
you know silhouettes who's like he talks like this i'm very proud of my work and i hope you
like the taste i don't know why we made eggnog.
Are you guys three great big fat people?
But Tim, to our understanding, he invented some flavors, right?
We'd be talking to the guy or one of the guys.
That's the idea.
He's the test tube guy.
He's mixing imagine.
The flavorist.
He's the dude whose work we're gonna be getting into as soon as
we wrap up booze news well let's do it i'm excited that's pretty exciting i love it all
this whole booze news has been fantastic i agree we should win a booze pulitzer for this one
i think we will well well aww
Jeff
I told you
we'll wrap it up
Jeff you get a haircut
yeah man
it looks great
hey thanks you can tell over the zoom
a funny thing is happening on your zoom screen
Jeff where we see your dead mouse helmet in the back
it's giving you Mickey ears.
Yes, I see that as well.
There's no way to put it.
You look like a fucking dork.
I know.
You look like Minnie.
No.
Why don't you wear that helmet more?
My head is too big for it.
It fills it.
When you're riding a razor scooter, you should use that.
Okay.
So the drink of the day is the Bud Light Seltzer Fall Flannel Pack.
That's right.
None of us really did any research or know what to say to introduce this drink.
Because, hey, we've done the Ugly Sweater Pack.
We've done the Out of Office Pack.
We've done the Retro Tie-Dye Pack.
Yeah, right.
What can you do?
I mean, it's just the next in the line of wacky Bud Light Seltzers.
They're going to keep coming out with them.
And this one's been out for a while, at least on the East Coast.
I remember I saw some in August.
Yes, people, slobheads have been tagging us for a long time,
and we had trouble tracking it down.
I notoriously have to go all around town looking for these Bud Light seltzers.
Finally found them at Ralph's.
But then what an ordeal.
I sent a little package to old Mikey.
Couldn't find him out here anywhere.
Yeah, I was going to send you out to
New Jersey to go to a wine store.
Yeah, I just did.
That's not something I want to do.
He's got pickles to make. He's got
appointments.
It would have been kind of an ordeal.
So I got one of these
fall flannel packs i gave jeff some cans i mailed mike some cans the the flavors that we're going to
be drinking today yeah apple crisp that's a redo right yep that's from ugly sweater if i remember
got it pumpkin spice new that's gonna be interesting so you got to do that that's
smart of them to hit the one right on the nose.
That's the big Starbucks flavor and everything.
Maple pear.
Maple pear now is the one for me that in transit,
I think the pressure of the flight was too much, popped open.
Sad.
It was a wet little package i got i said oh it's it must have been raining out today all right and i brought the package to my home open it up
and everything smelled like sticky seltzery stuff did a big wave gush out when you open the box
yeah knock me over so disappointing i really don't like to mail things uh that's like the last
thing i ever get around to doing is going to the post office but i took four cans i wrapped them
in bubble wrap i reused an amazon package i was really proud yeah it was good the paper and the
packing all of it but yeah i think it must have just been a altitude thing well also i don't know
how much we should talk about uh mailing alcohol i think that's not a good thing to do oh yeah of course well you know we didn't do it oh right yeah yeah this this was
a funny little thing is uh i think on the on our text gene jeff you had said like oh no it's it's
illegal to to mail alcohol but just i've done it before i just said it was soda right have you done
you said it was soda so yeah not to be not to incriminate me but yeah i know somebody did that the cia is listening right now you're fucked man so i
i'm kind of dumb so i just had in my head like jeff said it was soda so when i went to my i went
to my uh post the los vegas post office on vermont then and uh i handed off the thing to the lady
i'd filled out the form and she stuck it on there and she's like okay go on the little
you know like the debit card machine and answer some questions first and it was like
does your thing contain uh any pressurized liquids or whatever and i i should have just
lied and hit no but i turned to the lady i go it's soda oh yeah jeff said it's soda
jeff said it's soda she's like jefferson doesn't that reminds me of uh i i used to go to the afi
library up by us because you know like i figured i was a young enough looking guy you're supposed
to be a student to go up there but it's nice it's quiet you know it's a nice place to write
i was going up there and i uh had my laptop and i saw people giving me giving me looks checking me out when i walked in this
one time and so i went up to i went up to them and i was like hey uh i'm not a student uh should i
leave they're like yeah you gotta get out of here it's i've gone up there a million times and just
you just walk in and sit down and start working
and yeah that's what you do you just don't just don't flinch i'm not supposed to be here
what you do in life you don't ask for permission you beg for forgiveness yes yes you beg that way
kick you off campus and they're crying and you're like i'm so sorry i was ever here please forgive
me i'm weird uh no so then i shouldn't have said that i was
like it's just soda and the lady was like you can't mail soda it's pressurized and i was like
fuck why i do that and so she walked over to her manager and together they looked through a list
of things and they're like oh it doesn't say no soda okay fine but i had like five minutes of
thinking i had fucked the whole operation she doesn't say no soda and jeff said it's okay there's a little picture of you giving a thumbs up like soda's good i had
dinner with jeff last night and he said that was fine so based on our prior experiences with
bud light seltzer do we think this is going to be more of a prank pack or more of a like
yeah pretty good what's the fourth flavor The fourth and final flavor is toasted marshmallow.
Yeah, that's a prank pack.
And here's the thing, guys.
They've already announced this winter's ugly sweater pack.
Uh-huh.
And did you hear the flavor?
They are absolutely trolling us.
Because it like went viral.
One of those flavors is seltzer nog.
That's like a joke.
Seltzer nog.
Gross.
So they're like basically like comedy writers writing these joke sodas and we're buying them and saying they're not that good um i think we're
dumb but i don't know i'm i'm uh apple crisp wasn't bad i think pumpkin spice with bubbly
water sounds weird maple pear is the one i'm amped on i like i love maple stuff i like a maple old
fashioned that that yeah okay well we can get into it as we go one by one we certainly can
um like yeah if you could just sort of like lick the box when we get to that one well i did
uh i did when it was like i was soaking it all like wiping it all up i was like
smelling it a whole bunch like okay get try to remember this for the pod.
Like a bloodhound.
Yeah.
I was close to like sucking on the packaging.
And I said,
I better not do that.
Yeah.
That's gotta be not good for me.
Um,
well,
I mean,
there's nothing to prepare.
Do we just crack into these or do we take a break or how do we do this?
Well,
we'll take a break because that's how the show is structured.
Without structure, the whole society falls apart. Yeah, we got to sell some Manscaped.
Right.
And we need our rest.
Yeah, we got to hear from Manscaped.
And I got to go get mine.
All right.
Yep.
Well, folks, we'll see you back here very soon.
Peace.
Peace.
Peace. and we're back folks we got bud light seltzers in hand and uh we hope you enjoyed those
those ads yeah you love the ads don't you oh yeah they crack me up but if you but if maybe
maybe you don't love the ad so much oh maybe if only there was another way
yeah maybe you mosey on over to the patreon and check out the uh hey big money hustler tier that
might be for you if you don't like those ads you get our show with no ads and you also get the bonus
weekly sloppy boys blowout and the monthly yes for Lennon That's a good package
That sounds cool
Now we got Joe Firestone on this month
Love Joe Firestone
Super funny she's the best
I'm wondering
Who is going to be the first
Pay pig out there
Who's jumping in the pay pig tier
Oh yeah who's that
Pay pig tier you know
100 bucks a month
and you get to know
that you gave us 100 bucks a month.
You get to
spoil three goddesses.
Yeah.
Let's frame it up like that. I like that.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You give us what we
deserve because we
are God's gift to podcasting.
And you're just a little human ATM.
A dirty little piggy bank.
You're allowed to get off on it all you want.
Sure, sure.
And that goes for the slob heads and the hustlers.
No, they're not allowed to get off on it.
Oh, yes.
You cannot get off.
Well, enough of this sort of hornball talk yeah guys i fucked up so bad you're not gonna believe this what what
you know sometimes kelpy really screws the pooch yeah well i was wondering what took you so long
getting back here a little drama uh i did i did the math wrong? Anyone with half a brain would say, 12-pack, four flavors, three cans of each flavor.
Now, me.
You sent some to Mike.
Saved some for Jeff, mailed some for Mike.
The other night, Jessica wanted a drink, and I said, hey, you have i've got extra i've got extra fall flannels why don't you have yourself one of these
and she's like no you need them for your podcast and i was like no no i'm gonna have extra so you
can drink one and so so i she didn't even want it she didn't like it she's not interested in it
and she drank like half half of one didn't really like it and i was
like well i can't taste it because i gotta wait for my podcast guys i it's guess what fucking
flavor it was maple pear maple pear the same one that hanford exploded so jeff you are our lifeline
the only god now wait a minute now hold on let's, hold on. Let's reframe this story here.
Hanford did not blow up anything.
Hanford was at home waiting for a package to arrive.
Well, you chose to live on the wrong fucking side of the fucking country.
Well, okay, but then there's also the issue of distribution on the East Coast.
That's more of a...
Guys, these are systemic problems.
We're not going to be able to solve them here on the pod.
Yes.
Here's what I did do. I went looking through my recycling. That's more of a... Guys, these are systemic problems. We're not going to be able to solve them here on the pod. Yes.
Here's what I did do.
I went looking through my recycling.
I found the can.
There you go.
There's a dribble in the bottom.
Oh, no.
Don't do it.
I'm going to... When we get to this flavor, it's been...
It's a malt beverage, right?
So I trust it.
And there's enough there.
Listen.
I'm going to drink that when it's time but i was most looking forward to maple pear i i went on i zoomed with some slop heads on the uh on the
discord the other day and mitch on the web said that the maple pear was very maple forward i was
looking forward to it i for one was looking forward to that um well tim i'm i'm glad you you don't have
one uh you made such a blunder you know we got the one maple pear that blew up for me now the other
guys yes just be just come on we're having a fun yeah just come on. We're having fun. Yeah, just come on, Jeff. Come on. Okay, you know what?
No, Mike, I will come on.
Somebody may have come home the other night drunk.
And drank the other ones.
All of them?
All of them?
No, yes, but it was funny to me at the time.
Michael!
I'm just kidding.
I got the three left.
I got the three.
Jesus Christ.
I wanted to see how far we could take it.
I did that once.
Remember?
I did that once with something.
I drank a bunch of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, but not to be a little troll and blow up your own podcast.
Well, you know what got me was that sort of alcohol.
Alcohol can be addicting in a way.
So, you know, sometimes you start drinking it, you can't stop.
COVID.
I'm hoping the audience really had a real like, oh, no, we're going to have to blast Hanford.
But guess what?
You can't now.
He's unblastable.
The unblastable Mike Hanford. But guess what? You can't now. He's unblastable. The unblastable Mike Hanford. I will say, though,
I'm smelling my open
maple pear can.
Damn, this thing smells like
exactly like incense. Fragrant.
And the reason is because I used it as an
incense holder the other day.
I can't smell the maple pear anymore.
Just so that we're not being anticlimactic
or kicking this weird can down the road,
why don't I just crack that maple pear?
Yeah, let's get that thing out of the way.
Okay.
Tim, you take your drop.
Great.
So you've got a warm,
was sitting in the recycling overnight,
remnant dribble of a maple pear.
Is that not appetizing?
That sounds fucking gross.
Sips?
Yeah, sips.
Here we go. Here we go.
Here we go.
Ugh.
Bad?
I mean, I don't really like maple even as a...
I like pancakes with maple syrup, but in general,
I'm not looking for maple candy or maple ice cream,
so this in a bubble form is kind of weird.
I like that maple candy.
That's a good candy.
Me too.
Every so often and one piece at a time.
Nasty.
Not me.
Tim.
A handful every morning.
How was your dribble?
I mean, I don't recommend this experience to people.
It tasted more like uh ground coffee bean i've quite questions for you jeff because here so i'm smelling the can
i'm getting a wallop of maple and to me that's very pleasant then when i drank i it just tasted
like a rotten rank spoiled bad and and i really, I don't think I really got the,
I maybe got a hint of like fakie, fakie, fakie maple
and really no pear,
but I don't, I'm not really having the experience.
So my question for you is,
are you getting pear?
Yeah, a little bit.
Oh.
You know, it's a little both.
You're right, though.
The smell, I imagine, especially after it's been warm and sitting out, the maple, you really get it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get pear, too.
I don't like it.
I don't like it as a drink.
I'm looking forward to the next ones.
Can I suggest an order now?
Sure.
Apple crisp.
Weirdest. Normalist to weirdest apple crisp pumpkin spice toasted marshmallow love it yes and i like that and how funny this heightened it
back in the old days when we first did the ugly sweater pack when we started with the most normal
we started with cranberry because that had been in their normal seltzer pack and then we heightened to apple crisp and we were like that's so weird there's like a baked good
flavored water now a few months later apple crisp is like seems like a safe old friend compared to
old friend um i gotta get the taste of this rotten shit out of my mouth so okay great next
I gotta get the taste of this rotten shit out of my mouth Okay great next
Good looking can I'll tell you that
Yeah that is a good looking can
The maple can was beautiful
That green and gold
Okay
Alright
Okay again
Maple pear and Apple crisp very similar in that they were like they're a fruit
and then another thing yeah and that other thing is a spicy little baked good thing
oh that's what apple crisp i see it's like a um like a crumble pie
and i mean any crumble we talked about this when we had these a year ago. They did it.
I mean, it's up to you whether you like your water to taste like a carbohydrate.
Something with flour in it.
Yeah, flour.
But they did pull it off.
You're drinking cold, bubbly water, and then the aftertaste is very bakery-esque.
I got to say this, and we've had this problem before with other Bud Light seltzer drinks.
It tastes, it's got that back of the tongue taste like diet soda.
Yeah.
Like there's that like last second, you're like, hey, this is okay.
And right at the last second, it's like, oh, but here's the little chemical bit.
Yeah, that little bloom of like aspartame or whatever it is.
Yeah.
Fenylalanine.
And it's funny that our funny with these bud lights we found it's not even what tastes good or bad but it's it's really the context and the framing of like we liked the retro summer tie-dye
pack the best because they had flavors like blue raspberry that lend themselves to being fakey. And they were nostalgic for candy that was artificial and synthetic.
It made sense.
Yeah, it just made sense.
I don't mind this Apple Crisp.
I mean, I would definitely drink a bunch of them and get drunk.
Yeah.
Would I rather drink something else yes i would hope it
doesn't come to that you know when you go to a party especially when you're young and poor
and you're like well i'm gonna start with a good beer because i'm only gonna have one of those i'm
gonna start with a fat tire or whatever and then i'm gonna drink the shitty warm beer the milwaukee's
best for the rest of the night but like while i can taste it and i got my wits about me i'm gonna do something that tastes nicer so then apple crisp feels like a
good like late night like you don't care anymore yeah seltzer sure sure don't give a fuck about
anything the last thing left it's just funny with the seltzers like that white claw is just it's
you know it's a fun crushable beach. It's a pool party barbecue drink.
So when you get into these winter seltzers, you're kind of like,
it's hard to think about sitting around the old fire drinking them.
Sitting around the old snowman.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
As he's melting next to the fire.
As we work our way toward pumpkin spice, I wanted to ask you guys, like,
pumpkin spice latte is symbolic to a lot of people of the arrival of fall even though it comes out in in august people start saying oh
my god bumping spices here lots of people hold off i i like it i do order it maybe once a year i i
like any kind of fall shit that pops up at dunkin' Donuts as well. And it has me thinking for you guys, the autumn months,
do you have any activities or traditions that you take part in as an autumnal adult?
I used to be, when I was drinking coffee, yeah,
I would always belly up to the bar at Starbucks and say,
give me one of those pumpkin spices, and I loved it.
And then I started liking the caramel lattes with the crisscross caramel uh but now i don't do that as
much anymore uh the big thing for me this fall that i've been having fun with and we touched
out earlier is wearing all those those warm clothes again yep layer them up layer them down
oh cut the long sleeves out oh i bought a lot of remember
how last winter i went a little nuts on depop and i ordered all these like molson sweaters like like
a white v-neck that says cores on it and stuff like that i never wore any of them so i'm hoping
it gets cold enough for i could so i can bust them out complete the fit. Yeah, you can wear them at the fish show.
It's going to be cold that night, probably.
That's winter.
I'm talking about autumn.
Autumn.
Jeff, are you going to the hay mazes?
Oh, you watch the spooky movies?
I watch the spooky movies.
Well, I feel like we're past Halloween, so we shouldn't linger on Halloween, but I do try to dress up.
Okay, so autumn.
We're talking leaf peeping.
Do you do any leaf peeping?
No, I'm from New Hampshire, so I
take leaf peeping for granted.
I'm used to it.
I'm used to all that beauty.
You ever go up to Lake Arrowhead
or Big Bear and say, this is kind of like
these goats a little bit.
No, no.
The leaves are falling over here. It's fantastic.
You got to rake them up. You got to rake them up.
You got to rake them up and dispose of them.
I talked to my, I took to talk to my neighborhood assemblyman to take care of that.
I don't do the public, the public spice latte.
I don't do the pumpkin spice latte, but I've also noticed that brewers or people who carry beer like your cap and corks and stuff they seem to
to be a little prejudiced prejudiced against pumpkin beer everybody carries octoberfest
but i feel like there's like an elite an elitism where nobody's wants to provide pumpkin beer the
same way that like starbucks what does pumpkin spice latte you know what's weird is there's a
fakey um there's a beer i forget what they call it but i saw this in like a beer documentary on
netflix that um there some of the big macro brews will package some of their smaller shingle
products and make it seem to be a micro brew and anheuser-busch does have a pumpkin stout
that they you have to look really
close in the fine print to see it's made by budweiser because they make it look like a
vermonti type of thing and it's sitting right next to the dogfish head and you're like oh but that
looks like a small thing but it's really budweiser pumpkin stout damn you know i had a uh i had a cherry a cherry blonde no it was some it was some sort of like
cherry-ish beer and it reminded me that once upon a time sam adams had cherry wheat do you oh yeah
yeah those were pretty i remember enjoying those they felt a little artificial compared to this one
though the this nice one i had i hated it i hated hated them. But I remember I would go nuts for cherry wheat.
Like that and Sam Summer, I thought were like,
those are my beers.
The pumpkin beers are tough.
Like, I don't really like those.
Yeah, me neither.
It's weird in general, pumpkin, what are we recreating?
Like, pumpkin pie.
I'll have a slice of pumpkin pie at Thanksgiving.
But are you excited about it to put in another remember we went to the donut place out in the san gabriel valley donut man
uh a little moogie b's favorite donut place i got a pumpkin donut there that was just like so
so full of that pumpkin shit uh that like you know that like canned kind of i mean i love donut man hey side note i've been
get i think that's a fall thing for me is donuts in general i uh apple cider donut when i was a
kid i would have uh soccer practice on saturday mornings in the fall so i the parents would bring
like uh apple cider donuts like the cake donuts you know yeah and sounds great i never had and
you never really see apple cider donuts in la but we do have all these like independently owned like chinese family
run donut shops like donut man and daily donut and all these and i've been going there and getting a
fucking apple fritter baby hey when we were in chicago jeff we were at uh we were at a donut place. Jeff gets two donuts. He gets a pretty straight up
apple-y, crispy, whatever. Apple cider donut. And then you got something
wild that I liked. It was off the wall. Yeah, I misunderstood.
I was trying to get another simple one and they gave me a really opulent
little thing covered in frosting and stuff. I'm glad you liked it. It was good.
I like to do one plain glazed and then one wild one,
but I don't like the...
I'm tired of the donut places.
They're like, we pile all the Captain Crunch
and then there's a bacon and there's a pretzel.
It's like, who cares?
There's an ice cream place here in New York
that's got waffle cones dipped in whatever,
chocolate or white chocolate and then
dip that into crumbly shit.
Cereals. Too much.
And it's like so much stuff on it.
Too much. When David Chang
did the
Corn Flake milk or the originals
you're like, oh that's interesting to
repurpose a pop
food thing.
But then now we're 15 years later. We don't need to eat Captain Crunch all the time.
They're like, sir, you can have just a plain waffle cone.
All right, well, you're going to put some fucking ice cream in it this time?
Hey, speaking of pumpkins, you remember our old, was it Comedy Bang Bang?
Back in, or Comedy Death Ray?
We did that bit where...
We ate a pumpkin. we ate a pumpkin we ate a pumpkin it was like the birthday boys uh here to present the birthday boys eat a
pumpkin and we just said like you know in seven minutes can we eat it can we yeah finish the whole
thing and uh we had we had like pre-carved it as far as like taking the lid off so we could get to
the insides and then everybody was
just sort of like scooping out the guts and the seeds and trying to choke it down and like
biting the rind and all that yeah did we put like five minutes on the clock or something
yeah and um i thought that we would be able to i thought it would at least be possible and it
turns out like it's putrid you can't you can't eat any of that shit any of it oh yeah mitch puked yeah yeah
what were we just talking about with the uh i haven't bought a donut purchase a donut to eat
forever i might do that soon mike you're gonna like it donuts are good and here's a crazy thing
about donuts i live right by a donut place and i'm trying not to eat you try not to eat donuts
all the time so then when you go and you buy a donut eat donuts all the time.
So then when you go and you buy a donut,
and it's so cheap, it almost makes you mad.
You're like, this fucking sinful, indulgent treat is only 60 cents?
Are you kidding me?
Yeah.
If I go to a donut place, and it's cheap,
and I eat it, and I really like it,
I'm going to go, well, I'm still in the donut shop.
Okay, okay, yeah.
This man right here, he understood the assignment.
Cool, man.
Yep.
You know, I looked at all the different types of donuts at my donut shop, and I said, okay,
dream blunt rotation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
He did.
Uh-huh.
He did it.
Should we do the next Celtics?
This is October 31st and november 1st
yes thank you yas queen yeah should we move on to the next yas queen spice let's hope it's nice
hold on wait for me the smell is very good it smells exactly like fucking pie
okay it doesn't smell like a pumpkin spice good it smells exactly like fucking pie okay it doesn't smell
like a pumpkin spice latte it smells like a pumpkin pie what are we doing here man
oh wait now hold on hold on a second accurate it's almost got a gingerbread-y thing too yes
it's very gingerbread-y oh yeah was. Yes. It's very gingerbread-y.
Oh, yeah.
Was there gingerbread in the holiday pack last year?
Wasn't there?
Yeah.
Yeah, gingerbread cookie. There was, right?
Oh, no, it was ginger snap.
Yeah, yeah.
This is not bad.
Wow.
I don't know.
Michael, I am shocked.
This does not have...
I would drink a full one of these and be happy about it.
I would thank you for it.
I wouldn't go back and have a second one
because I can already feel my mouth puckering up with this gross sweetness.
Also, not bad in this world of wacky seltzers yeah i'm weirded out because i mean they did a good job
with the flavor as they always did but like i'm just thinking about a pumpkin and anything from
that kind of like squash gourd family yeah root vegetables. It's like yam soda. Oh, I want to barf.
Well, I do feel like this is a little bit of a course correct from the previous prank packs because these are all a little bit drinkable.
I don't love them, but I would give them all like a C plus on drinkability.
None of them are like crazy.
It's not like drinking a warhead or something.
Because that was always the problem is just too much flavor. It's like you drinking a warhead or something because that was always the
problem is just too much flavor it's like you got a weird flavor just keep it mild you know we don't
need to be knocked over the head with a strange flavor um it's kind of growing on me a little bit
it's pretty good i guess the toss-up will be between this and apple crisp but again maple
pear if you guys were trying the maple pear, I think
these would all be head to head.
I think I would like,
knowing that I have a proclivity toward
maple and pear.
I like a Bartlett.
We'll all have a Bosque.
Hey, that pear
is something I haven't had in even longer than
the last time I had a donut
that I bought.
That I purchased.
God, you're making me want to go next door
and get one of those apple fritters right now.
You guys know an apple fritter?
You know what that looks like?
Yeah.
No.
It looks like a bear claw.
It's not a circle.
It's just, it soaks up the most oil
because it's just like a lumpy brown bumper.
It looks like a funnel cake almost, like fried dough. Oh, yeah, yeah. It doesn't have a holey brown bumper it's like it looks like a funnel cake
almost like fried dough oh yeah yeah it doesn't have a hole in the middle i thought it did
no the only thing with a hole in the middle is your fucking brain dude
okay yeah except for i had um let's see a bagel this morning
shit busted i miss the uh dunkin donuts krellers do they still do those i heard they don't do them
anymore like the sticks the twit the big twisty vanilla sticks i like those i like i like the
french one yeah yeah little twister do they not i bet they do or they maybe they do them differently
i think it's so weird that duncan is like that they even still have the donuts you go to the
one in atwater everyone's ordering coffee left and right. You won't see
anyone eat a donut. I love them. I like
the munchkin pack. It's fun.
That's why they dropped the name.
You know, they just go by Duncan now.
Yeah, it's just Duncan. Oh.
Well, Tim, I don't like it, okay?
Well, fuck you, dude.
Time to make the donuts.
Yeah, time to eat the fucking donuts. You guys want to
crack this fourthie? Before we crack it, though though i want to say that this is maybe the weakest
theme toasted marshmallow to me is a summer camping no summer toast a marshmallow on a little stick
yeah okay see it it fits fall for me just because it's uh woodsy yeah woodsy and like uh because it's in this pack
but you're right it's probably more of a summer thing because like i was back i was very swayed
oh it's a fall pack that's a fall thing mike you can't let them bully you just because they put it
in the back you don't have to accept that you can have free will this bud light budweiser corporation
has had me for years okay so what marshmallow is? Marshmallow is like puffed sugar,
and then when you hold it over a fire,
it gets toasted and browned and caramelized.
Let's see if we get all of that.
But it's a very specific...
Oh.
Smells like cotton candy.
Ooh, fuck.
It smells like cereal or something.
Oh, fuck. It smells like cereal or something. Oh, wow.
That tastes like an iced coffee.
Or like a cream soda.
Like an A&W cream soda.
Absolutely, both.
I'm getting iced coffee and cream soda.
I'm going to be the sick fuck that says I actually like this one the most.
Dude, I am into this.
Tim, Tim, don't be so shy with that microphone, buddy. Get close.
Come on, tell us how you feel.
Don't think about toasted marshmallow.
Just let your mind
be whatever it wants to be.
It has a nice caramel
kind of like molasses-y thing going
on. You know what this tastes like? Have you guys
ever drank like a SlimFast
or an Ensure? Never.
No. This is this this i wish i could drink a slim fast but my physique doesn't require it this reminds me of like uh rice crispy treats cereal
or the milk when you're done with lucky charms yeah absolutely cereal milk that's good
huh holy shit i expected this to be like yeahrinkable, and I find myself really liking it.
It's just not at all what I thought.
It doesn't really even taste like a toasted marshmallow.
God damn.
I really like this.
It reminds me of like, I have some of this like fancy sugar that I bought at the cocktail
store that's like Demerara sugar.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just like that.
Like sugar cane. Like Demerara sugar. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just like that, like sugar cane.
Like Demerara rum.
Yeah.
Yeah, it has a little rumminess to it. Maybe that could be, guys,
you're making up your little rum cocktail,
maybe even spiced rum,
like a Captain Morgan or Sailor Jerry drink,
and then you top it off with not soda,
not ginger ale,
but toasted marshmallow.
Toasted marshmallow.
Bubbly seltzer packed shit.
Are there any cocktails with maple syrup in it?
Gotta be.
A maple old-fashioned I've had.
Up in like Montreal and stuff.
I don't know if it's an old traditional thing,
but I had kind of a lot of them in Montreal.
And it's basically just, you know,
an old-fashioned wouldn't have a sugar cube in it.
So it's just a little drizzle of maple instead.
Damn.
Yeah.
And I'll do like a Boulevardier with just a little splash of maple syrup on
top.
Just like, just a, just a gross little thing.
Oh, maybe when I see, uh, when I bump into Sam Ross next, I'll be like,
Hey, why don't we, uh,
why don't we put our brains together on a maple syrup drink?
That's a good idea.
He'll be like,
no,
not you.
I've had your stuff.
Maple,
I love maple shit.
I can't believe,
Jeff,
you only like it on pancakes.
Hey,
speaking of that,
do you like,
I never order pancakes
or,
or,
or,
waffles.
I always go more like scrambles and omelets and eggy savory breakfast.
However,
if I'm in New Hampshire,
I would,
uh,
I would order a,
a,
a pancake in order to get the good maple syrup.
But what do you guys think of the maple syrup?
That is,
I mean,
it's non maple,
like,
like you're,
you're Mrs.
Butterworth's or you're just,
it's just like corn syrup.
You like that?
My favorite syrup as a kid was like the store brand light syrup.
I thought it was so fucking good.
Like their take on Aunt Jemima.
Just like Shaw's brand or like Damoulis brand.
And it was just the light version of their syrup.
I would just, Oh, so good. And I would just the light version of their syrup. I would just,
Oh,
so good.
And I would just pancakes are just a syrup delivery mechanism to me.
I like pancakes.
I know I don't order much,
but I do like them.
I always think of the Mitch Hedberg bit,
like pancakes are something like they're good for one bite.
And then you get fucking sick of them.
And I think that pancakes,
I've just like learned that lesson the hard way.
If you start a day with pancakes,
it's insane. You're, you're just learned that lesson the hard way. If you start a day with pancakes, it's insane.
You're eating cake.
I'll go out for breakfast with people and say, hey, I'm going to get the egg thing.
Does anyone want to split a pancake?
And we get a pancake for the table.
It's one pancake.
Pancake for the table.
Mike, we ate a couple of six shooters at the Astro Diner recently, and we had a choice.
Did you take the pancake option?
I think I got toast instead of pancakes.
What was the choice?
I think you slammed your fist down on the table and you said, I take the biscuit option.
I choose death.
I got myself some blackstrap molasses the other day.
You guys ever get into molasses?
I don't know what that's all about.
What do you put that on?
I see.
Well, just now, today, I made toast, put some peanut butter on there, chopped up a banana,
and drizzled a little molasses, and God, it was good.
I saw that on your Instagram.
Damn good.
All right.
Molasses in an old-fashioned?
Try that, too, maybe?
The maple is good.
You're going to like the maple old-fashioned. Hey, if we get that get that bud light guy i'm gonna really try and push him to do a molasses
yeah that's that's definitely a flavor that gets kids excited molasses let's party all night at
the quad i hope kids have nothing to do with these drinks honestly yeah don't drink if you're under
21 i i i think that this toasted marshmallow is so weird but it's also the best
seltzer that bud light has ever made think of a cream soda think ibc you're good yep oh i love an
ibc i think that we should come up with a cocktail with ibc cream soda bourbon and cream soda oh
what about like like an orange and cream?
That could be good.
That's another.
Oh, you're thinking cream soda is just cream soda.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Now I get it.
Shit, I keep forgetting.
I was, a year ago I talked about,
I was supposed to invent a cocktail for this show,
which was one of those Mexican apple sodas.
And I was going to use that with bourbon
and some other stuff and make an autumnal drink.
I keep forgetting to do that.
Well, I think you can, I think before the year's out, we can tackle that.
Sure.
That could be kind of, actually kind of awesome.
Also that, you know, like a whiskey ginger, just instead of ginger beer, doing a cream soda.
I feel like you could get something out of that.
Yeah.
Whiskey creme.
It is weird that cream soda is never used.
Root beer is famously used in a Russian root.
We all know that.
All of the sodas should be used.
Like, why does a 7 and 7 get so famous, yet an IBC and BVD?
I got IBC in my BVD.
Is IBC regional?
I think it's, I thought it was northeast.
Is that out here? I've seen it out here. Because I got it. Actually, no, maybe it think it's... I thought it was northeast. Is that out here?
I've seen it out here.
Because I got it...
Actually, no, maybe it was A&W.
I don't know.
I went to Death & Co.
A couple...
Yeah, Death & Co.
A couple weeks ago with a friend.
And I was like...
I was like telling him about the Russian root.
And I wasn't going to order one there.
But I was like...
The person I was with, they were like, Oh, I haven't had root beer in like a long time. I don't going to order one there but I was like the person I was with they're like
I haven't had root beer in like a long time I don't even remember the the flavor of it I was
like hold on I was like excuse me you do have a you don't have a root beer back there do you
the bartender was very busy he's like nope
death and go is like the last place where you'd be like can you make my weird little idea I know
you guys have put in your geniuses and you've made the most beautiful
menu. No, no, I wasn't even going to
have a Russian root. That would be
way too far. Well, they
should have some fancy sodas
on hand for the non-drinkers in the house.
I got a feeling he did and he didn't want to help me out.
Hey, take a look at these cans.
Are you guys noticing anything?
There's the flavor at the top, right?
Yeah. And you'll see
right above the nutrition facts it says pumpkin spice flavored with other natural flavors apple
crisp flavored with other natural flavors maple pear again with other natural flavors you get to
toasted marshmallow toasted marshmallow flavored and artificially flavored. Oh. Not a natural thing in this one.
Interesting.
And stuff like that is always, like,
based on very strict FDA rules,
and they're like, well, we have to word it this way.
I love the look of the cans.
I love that they correspond.
The pumpkin one is orange.
The toasted marshmallow one is brownish.
It's like white and golden brown. The Red Apple Crisp one
looks just like my very jacket that I'm trying
to pop off. I know, I know. You should be putting
that jacket back on. It's a little
hot here.
Well, I'm ready to
take a break. I'm going to use the bathroom
and then I'm ready to rank.
Rank them. Yeah, some of these
flavors are rank. Come on now.
Folks, we'll see you in a sec.
And we're back with our final thoughts on the Bud Light Seltzer.
Who wants to kick it off?
I'll kick it off.
These are fun.
They're not meant to be good or bad.
They're meant to be conversation starters.
They're like the Harry Potter jelly beans.
You get some friends over and you say.
And also, it's just I'm looking forward in coming this winter.
The Bud Light seltzers.
The holiday ones coming are sugar plum, cherry cordial, Seltzer, Nog, Cranberry.
That's fun.
Sugar Plum.
And my personal recommendation, folks, if you want a holiday seltzer that's good and you live in upstate New York, get the Saranac.
They have Blackberry Crumble, Cranberry Orange Tort, Apple Crisp in nice green glass bottles.
You drink them on Christmas morning.
I got to remember to look for
those because uh i'm sure they'll be around my neck of the woods you're gonna like them the
oh what's your ranking though what's your top to bottom oh uh least favorite to favorite okay
well i'm i'm gonna say that number one toasted marshmallow i can't believe it but it happened
wow so he's going favorite to least favorite.
Interesting.
I thought it would be more funny to go down.
He flipped the script on you, Mike.
I have a hard choice between apple crisp and maple pear because I didn't really taste maple pear, but I think I would like it more.
That's like me calling my favorite frozen treat something I've never eaten before.
Yeah, exactly. favorite uh frozen treat something i never eaten before yeah exactly okay it goes uh marsh maple crisp pumpkin spice last place is pumpkin spice sorry okay okay okay i'm gonna make it even
simpler on you i think that maple apple crisp and pumpkin spice are all equally weird and kind of bad.
I'm going to give them a C, and they're all in last place.
Wow.
And then you got toasted marshmallow.
I would give that sort of a delighted B+.
Okay.
It's not better than a lot of drinks, but of the three, it's like head and shoulders the best.
Yeah.
Of the four, it's head and shoulders the best yeah of the four it's head
and shoulders the best i i will say so you've got three in last place nothing for third and second
and then a first place good uh i this i feel like the first time we did this last uh holiday season
they were kind of weird but they tasted like tasted like... I don't remember the chemical he tasted as much.
It's just they're getting more and more chemical
to me, and I hope they're
listening and they're correcting that now.
Mike, it's because they have to reach further and
further away from nature to make
these flavors. They're playing God. That's true.
If it were up to me, honestly,
all these flavors would be all
natural, organic from the
earth.
But that's just me. my ranking from worst to best thank you is the one i didn't have pear uh was a pair of maple then it's too explodey too explodey that i can't even keep this thing in a can then the marshmallow no yes then marshmallow then apple top of the pops
is pumpkin spice for me and with that i'm gonna take another sip whoa he's doing it he's actually
doing it oh he's barfing nasty nasty stuff i mean it's been a fun ride with these bud light seltzers i don't
know where in my brain like i don't know what's happening it's not good food
i mean it's not food at all it's a drink come on but like how much do we do this
we have a podcast to do we have a list to we have an iba list to cover why do we do this to
ourselves and there's so many seltzers in the world that our listeners would love us to cover,
and we don't.
We're like, look, we're not doing all the seltzers.
Maybe.
Something about the Bud Light.
Bud Light has a sense of a playful spirit that we're enjoying.
And I feel like we have a sense of ownership because we cracked this on Booze News,
and then it became an episode, and then we just kept doing them. That is it.
That was it. Maybe
for the holiday pack this year
we bookend it.
We did a year of these things.
And then if one comes out that's like,
whoa, we gotta try the Easter pack.
Fine. Fine.
Easter pack would be funny if it was like Cadbury
and stuff. Cream egg
seltzer. Peep flavored.
Yeah, peep.
But they can't say peep, so it would be like
marshmallow bird. Marshmallow chick.
Puffed bird.
Marshmallow yellow bird.
Nah, but then you get into my territory.
I'm up in the yellow bird tree.
And they don't want to get into that territory.
And you might want to go for a ride on a paper plane later.
How do you think I got up in the yellow bird tree?
You wrote
a paper plane to the yellow bird tree.
Mike, you should write some of that shit.
That's sort of like Bob Dylan shit.
I wrote a paper plane to the yellow
bird tree. And people are like, wow, he's a fucking genius.
Yeah, that is good. Alright, I'll work on that.
Great.
I got the assignment. Nice, dude's a fucking genius. Yeah, that is good. All right, I'll work on that. Great. I got the assignment.
Nice, dude.
Dream blunt rotation.
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get in the sty and also hey just because we talk about it like that doesn't mean we don't respect you we love you we're we're grateful well okay
we did good and so did you at home happy fall to all and i think i know what my dream blunt
rotation is all of our friends who came to the chicago show from the patreon dan badly laura
vinegar you name him we got him them. Harghee was not
there. Alright, well, we can deal with that later.
Folks, we love you.
We'll see you next week, and we wish you many
autumnal pleasures.
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