The Sloppy Boys - 76. Kalpy Cordial
Episode Date: April 1, 2022Tim finally unveils a warm and friendly cocktail long in development!KALPY CORDIAL RECIPE1.5oz/45ml Spiced RumTop up with Cherry CokePour rum in an old fashioned glass filled with ice. Top with Cherry... Coke. Garnish or float in a manner that reflects your own personal styleez.Recipe via Tim Kalpakis Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys, the show that takes a deep dive into the drinks
that you love.
I'm Jeff Dutton along with Mike Hanford.
I'm Rubik.
And Tim Kalfakis.
What is up?
I froze up for a second there.
Yes.
No stylies on the Kelpie Cordial episode?
Wow.
I was just like so thrown by you being Rubick.
Yeah.
Mike, that requires a little explanation.
Yeah, that does.
That's why I said it because I want to get into it.
So there was a...
It was kind of like a cold open.
You wet our whistle for it.
Yeah.
And now, because I want to bring up something I want to talk about.
There's, if you go on YouTube, in the 80s at some point, there was a TV show, a Saturday
morning cartoon about the Rubik's Cube.
And the idea is you get it all in the opening.
It's the Rubik's Cube came down from space or something like that.
And he becomes friends with the kids.
And the whole song for the opening of the show is,
they're saying, Ruby, Ruby.
And it's like, he's our friend.
Ruby helps us.
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby.
By the way.
At the end, yes.
He's a cube with an alien face and hands and feet sprouting out of it.
Yeah.
So it's like they did start with a Rubik's Cube,
but then they plopped a face on it.
Yeah.
And so then they're saying,
Ruby, Ruby, Ruby,
always Ruby throughout the whole song.
And at the end,
he kind of shows up and he says,
I'm Rubik.
So who's Ruby?
We're all wondering.
Yeah, who is Ruby the whole time?
Just some other person that's not in the show?
Just somebody else. Maybe it's his nickname, but he is rubic is what he says my best guess a punk
rocker like me i'm thinking ruby ruby ruby ruby so ho destination we gotta become punkers man
i'm trying i'm trying it's just we're trying our hardest. I just don't. I have a tough time cutting all my leather jacket sleeves off.
I know that.
I also have had a problem with a guitar.
I'll pick it up, and I'm like, I'm going to play a few punk power chords.
But then what do I do?
Mixolydian scale.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's more.
I mean, sonically, it's more pleasing to the ear.
Sonically.
One time I walked in. You know, Hanford and I used to live together Tim
I've heard of that
One time I walked into his bedroom
And I caught him stitching his jeans
Back together
The holes in his jeans
No
They said don't tell anyone about this
Oh god
I can't do it anymore
If Tim ever saw that
Because you made a big show of ripping them in front of me I don't even care I don't even care I can't do it anymore. If Tim ever saw that. Because you made a big show of ripping them in front of me.
I don't even care.
I don't even care.
I can't go back to that mosh pit, Jeff.
They're eating me alive.
There's a rancid song called Sidekick, maybe?
Time Bomb.
Yeah, that's a good one, too.
The one that's like,
My name is Tim, I'm a...
something, Sidekick.
Tim Armstrong, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good song.
They're good.
Yeah, they rock.
We played a show with them.
Certainly did.
The Rock and Roll...
What is it?
Rock and Roll Carnival.
We did.
It was more of a...
Billed as Tim Armstrong in Friends,
so it might have been
maybe not all the rancid people,
but yeah, that was fun.
I think that there was a little, who's the other guy, Lars?
I feel like there was a Tim and Lars reunion at that carnival this year.
Oh.
Ooh.
It was a charity event.
Yeah, it's like a fundraising event.
Backyard fundraiser music.
Muzak.
Yeah, that's for music education in schools. They do a lot of good work over there, Muzak. Yeah, it's like a fundraising event. Backyard fundraiser music. Muzak. Yeah, that's for music education in schools.
They do a lot of good work over there, Muzak.
Yeah.
They should do a thing where they send us around to schools
to sort of sit the kids down and be like,
here's an eighth note, you know, man.
Oh, I thought it was going to be one of those scared straight things,
like, don't end up like us, kids.
You want to look like me?
I have to host a podcast.
Don't end us up like us kids you want to look like me i have to host a podcast doing us up like us three albums in three years touring our own podcast uh yeah wait a minute this is how pretty fucking awesome
kings of the sea yeah we're high up in the yellowbird tree follow me kids women want us
and men want to be us let, kids. They charge out of the
school with us like the new
little Pied Pipers.
Yes, that's
how it would be.
If it were to be, it would be as
that. That's why we don't get
invited to schools to
talk to kids about music, because
they will take them out
to show them what they're about.
What do you say we get into some booze news?
That seems fine.
Top of the show.
Seems appropriate.
Hit it!
Sick.
Hi, baby.
Ooh, anticipation. Chills. Kale!
Kale!
Kale!
Kale! Gale. Wow.
Gale.
It's about the new Zyugra as we are the sexy sons of bitches.
Whoa.
Wow.
I don't know.
What was that last part?
I feel like a spell was cast on me.
It sounded like speaking in tongues, maybe.
Was it a different language?
I couldn't tell.
Maybe a little Latin.
I heard sons of bitches, I think.
I'll tell you who would know.
Jesse Lyons, who sent us that booze news theme.
Jesse Lyons from the Guy Talians Eating Italian podcast.
Jesse.
If you have a booze news theme, email it to thesloppyboyspodcast at gmail.com.
To anyone who doesn't know, Gale, of course, is a current teen pop star,
17-year-old sensation
that has captured our hearts
and the hearts of the nation.
Oh, people know about Gail.
Yeah, and if you've never heard of her,
check out one of her songs,
A-B-C-D-E-F-U?
Is that the real one?
It's called A-B-C-D-E-F-U?
Yeah.
And if you want to know
what Gail's getting up to,
check out the last couple, I think three booze news.
There's Gale Watch 2022 happening.
None of that today, unfortunately.
Oh, that's sad.
They're keeping up on all things Gale.
Chopter Copter still down?
You know, a lot of stuff happened this week.
We couldn't get out and do it.
You know, I was talking to a friend of the show
neil campbell and he pointed out to me um with what's going on in the world today with fuel uh
you know the gas prices and stuff like that it's it's kind of a an interesting time mike that you
chose to launch a chopter copter into the skies well our budget is humongous i mean and you have
to spend it like you have to spend every dollar that yeah spend it or lose it they say oh yeah they said spend it or lose it and uh you break it you eat it so i
said all right it will okay okay it's the kale egg rule um okay uh top story on booze news today
this is this is just a very specific little thing that happened mere days ago
that just made me feel like when we get,
it's going to lead us right into the drink of the day,
and it's going to make you feel like we are locked in on the zeitgeist.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
If it's about Monkey Gland, I'm going to throw my chair out the window.
Okay, well, don't worry about your chair or window because it is's about Monkey Clan, I'm going to like throw my chair out the window. Okay.
Well, don't worry about your chair or window because it is not about Monkey Clan.
But Captain Morgan Spiced Rum has released a new flavor.
That sounds like this happens a lot.
Release the flavors.
Yes.
Yes.
Which is funny because their competitor is Kraken and then that would be more of a...
Anyway.
Ah.
Yeah. and which is funny because their competitor is cracking and then that would be more of a anyway yeah this flavor of spice from the captain morgan just dropped cherry vanilla no rum yeah so when you want to talk about we haven't gotten there yet but when we want to talk about a a podcast
the cocktail podcast that's sort of inventing drinks and you want to talk about taste trends
certain flavor profiles that are sweeping that are in the zeitgeist on the tip of everyone's
tongues yeah we're in lockstep with the culture okay yeah yeah no no i like you agree i agree i
almost this is one of those things that you, you kind of step back and look at
the timelines of things and you say, huh, maybe we are sort of dictating the zeitgeist.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Maybe they're chasing us now.
Maybe they're-
It kind of is so weird because we started this show and we said, let's hold a mirror
up to society.
And then what has happened, that kind of mirror is sort of...
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
The mirror is holding...
Well, the society is holding the mirror to us.
It's sort of a...
It's like a rotating 360 mirror.
Yeah.
Mirror.
Yeah.
It's a mirror.
A mirror.
This happened with the...
The same exact thing happened with the crack-up kid.
Yep. Miranda brought it to us. We started saying started saying it boom all of a sudden there's all of a sudden there is a uh
little video of the crack up kid he's grown up uh huh huh hmm tick tock eh all of a sudden he grew
up huh he wasn't growing up before we came along. Seems a little convenient.
He was doing that thing where he wasn't eating any food or getting any exercise, so he wasn't growing up.
Yeah.
They said, oh, shit, I got to respond to this video, but I got to grow up first or it'll
be weird if I'm not.
I'm talking about Osmosis Jones in that old clip.
Damn.
Well, I get a little...
They will expect me to have aged.
Go ahead, Jeff.
I got a little piece of booze news.
What a teeny piece.
You know, it's not great, but I feel
like we do cover this sort of activity
on the show. This just came
across my desk today, and so I'm
spitting it out to the masses.
Using my platform to shine a light
on White Claw once again.
Oh! My God.
New flavors! Oh boy.
When any of these drinks kind of get far enough along, they start to have to create new combos to keep you interested.
So these are sort of a collision course of different flavors they're coming up with.
It's called White Claw Surf.
The four flavors are Citrus Yuzu Smash.
Okay.
Tropical Pomelo Smash. Watermelon Lime Smash, and Wildberry Acai Smash.
God, it must be hard for them when these flavors collide and then they have to kind of trap the can around the smash point.
Yeah.
It's got to be quick.
It's colliding!
Jeff, say the name of those first two flavors.
What was the first?
Uzo?
Citrus Yuzu.
Yuzu is like a Japanese citrus, I believe.
Is it a fruit?
Oh, it's like, okay.
Oh, it's a fruit, all right.
Yuzu looks like a lemon type of a thing.
All right.
And then what was the other one?
It sounded like pomegranate, but it wasn't.
Pomegranate.
It was tropical pomelo. P-O-M-E-L-O. I have. Pomegranate. It was tropical pomelo.
P-O-M-E-L-O.
Interesting.
I've never heard of that either.
What's a pomelo?
I just wrote a P, and pomelo was the first suggestion.
This is another citrus.
This looks a bit like, well, one of them's huge here.
This looks like sort of a big coca, no, not a coca, grapefruit.
Grapefruit. Hey, one of the first. Hold on, not Coke. Grapefruit. Grapefruit.
Hey.
Hold on.
Hold on.
What is it?
People ask, what does a pomelo taste like?
In general, pomelos taste very much like grapefruits.
Done.
These fruits are over our heads.
If we don't get the references, what chance does the common man have?
Does Gen Z have?
Come on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But they sound good.
You know, I guess I wouldn't need flavors to be
colliding if if you're giving me some very interesting japanese citrus fruit that i've
never had before that's interesting maybe you don't need to collide it with something else
yeah i imagine they're wasting a lot of energy like colliding these fruits together and yeah
entrapping the the results and these are these are hard seltzers?
Yeah, these are all the same as always,
100 calories, one gram of carbs.
They should have made fruit isolations.
We were able to trap just one fruit.
I think that's just buying a fruit.
Yeah, I did one of those today.
I bought an apple.
If these are more hard seltzers, I think I am hoping these pair well with my kitchen sink drain,
because that's where they're going.
I'm not doing any more hard seltzers.
Oh, Michael.
Nope.
No thanks.
Nope.
I don't like the originals.
I'm not going to like the whack-out flavors, man.
This is White Claw we're talking about, though, not Bud Light seltzer.
I heard what you said.
I don't like seltzers.
I think, for me,
I think White Claw deserves my attention.
I got to give it up.
I got to hand it to him.
Give it up for the claw.
Give it up.
God, that song has a good organ counter melody.
Oh, God.
You got to really listen for it, though.
Do you need to really like that it's in there?
That's front and center, baby.
It still helps to really listen.
Well, is that it for Booze News?
Yeah.
Well, would you like to get into the drink of the day?
This is a good one, and it's been coming for a couple weeks now we've been talking about this.
It's been building?
Curious about it.
Ever curious.
It's sort of like booze news takes center stage.
Like the pod has become the subject of the pod.
I love seeing these sorts of drinks that come from the hosts.
That's what I'm saying.
It's kind of like the Zeitgeist thing we were talking about before.
The show
has now created this drink
that's, yeah, this is good. Mike, how
did your life change after you
presented listeners with
the Russian root which you had created?
Oh, in ways I could never have expected.
Tim, Tim, the freedom
root. Yes, thank you.
Oh my God. Yes, yes, yes. Freedom root
drink is a good drink.
And it's
good. It's put me in the limelight. It's put me
in the conversation of
the Sam Roths
and the Sam Adamses.
Yeah.
All the Sams, yeah.
All the Sams,
really. Folks, the drink of the day
here on episode 76 of the sloppy boys podcast
is the cowpe cordial you've had i've not had you've heard not had you've heard i've heard a
lot tim i've heard i've heard big things big big things and not even from you guys i just from i've
heard a lot about it out on the street when you when you hear that the
calpe cordial like we we talk about this with all kinds of cocktails but like so what comes to mind
who what where what's the image you kind of associate what kind of guy drinks this uh maybe
a guy wearing a tabasco shirt uh sitting in the living room with his wife nobody else has ever
had one of these one of those one of those guys panicking that uh batman is gonna take it away from him nerve nerve wrangled
jangled sweat miserable in his little home i i gotta say for the release here tim you're wearing
a nice just a black polo which is unlike you usually do something big and flowery but this
is uh this is nice this is like he's in his uh steve era. Exactly. You know what it is? I purposely...
This is actually...
It buttons down.
It's not a polo.
It's a full button down.
But I was thinking that I wanted to look like the bartenders at Bird's.
I remember Brennan and Sam.
They used to always wear...
No, Bob.
Bob, yeah.
They used to always wear these short sleeve...
Were they brothers?
I thought they were.
Damn.
Blood brothers, probably.
At least, very least.
Yeah.
Well, I guess for me, when I hear Calpe Cordial mentioned, what comes to mind, the type of
person who would drink it is maybe like sort of a, maybe a one-time Emmy nominated writer,
maybe a two-time Emmy-nominated writer, maybe a two-time WGA Award nominee,
maybe perhaps one-time brought Starbucks coffee
for the entire cast and crew of a music video shoot.
Right, that type of guy.
Is it the type of guy who would have seen Colin Farrell
and his at-home coolness?
Yes, and the type of guy that would have driven
a convertible 1989
Chrysler LeBaron to Colin Farrell's
house on that day. The type of guy
who would scream, DuckTales is on
to his family as a child.
To let his parents know that his favorite cartoon
was on in case they wanted to run in and watch.
The type of guy who dresses like the bartenders
he used to like.
Let's put it this way. If you had to choose one thing, it's like the type of guy, this like the bartenders he used to like the type of guy let's put it this
way if you had to choose one thing it's like the type of the guy yeah this is a warm caring this
is a guy who says stuff like you meet him he says what is up because he he has a curiosity about you
and he wants to connect on an emotional level empathy gushing with empathy well this is this
the same type of guy who says what is up but then then has gone on tapes, told us that when he sees people on the street, he avoids saying anything.
The type of guy that will see a good, good friend on the street, someone he hasn't talked to in three years, and he'll just hold up his coffee and say, pep it up.
He won't ask his friend about his friend's new baby or wife he will hold up a coffee and say
but okay so that's the type of a guy now the circumstances for a cowpea cordial
this is this is a little more broadened i would say this is it's meant to be sort of enjoyed in
a warm festive environment among family and friends you know you kind of make a
tray of them you share them with the people who are important in your life you know so as we hear
about this drink today slop heads this is one to learn for when you are let's say you're kind of
a young slop head you're home from school you know and you gather around all your
your old hometown flames home from college not middle
school or grammar school yeah you're home from a hard day at kindergarten and you make it you know
let's say perhaps you're an old slob head you know real you're you kind of get up off your
deathbed and you make a round of these for all the the doctors and nurses uh who've been keeping you alive. Attending to you, yeah. But it's to show gratitude.
And I think everyone knows that about this drink.
But what they don't know is the history.
So maybe I'll walk you through it.
This is a thank you drink.
Okay.
Yeah, Ariana Grande has a song that's like,
thank you drink.
Mm-hmm.
Wait.
Okay.
Yes.
Yes. Yep. Yeah, just checking Spotify and Mm-hmm. Wait. Okay. Yes. Yes.
Yep.
Yeah, just checking Spotify, and it is her top song.
Okay.
Yeah.
And what is this?
No other songs.
That's interesting.
I could have sworn.
Okay.
The history of the drink.
Let me paint a picture for you guys, okay?
So it's-
Matisse over here.
I love it.
It's the Friday of Thanksgiving weekend, 2021.
A young hotshot comedy writer is out in the dusty desert late at night.
He goes to Pappy and Harriet's with Jessica.
Okay.
He takes a ribeye to the dome.
We don't know the comedy writer's name, but we know Jessica is there.
Whoever he is.
Oh, no.
I forgot to mention the boy in the story is me.
This is happening. Oh, go ahead well i had a ribeye and i had a couple of whiskey sours uh
you take the egg option and but but here's the thing i didn't take the egg option take the ice
option i took the i'll tell you what just yesterday i brought up on my phone leo drinking whiskey sours and um
yeah once upon a time in hollywood and i laughed out loud again oh yeah yeah
could eight goddamn fucking whiskey sours could have three or four had to have eight
that's funny okay so i'm drinking i'm pappy and harriet's for anyone who doesn't know is this
very fun saloon bar music venue barbecue place out in
pioneer town the desert in california i'm we're drinking we're having a fun time on this holiday
friday night but here's the problem guys we got the car with us okay i'm driving so i can't cut
loose to the full extent that i want to so i'm responsible tim i like that i like to hear that
and young slobheads listen to this i truly don't
ever fuck with drinking and driving two drinks timmy timmy's getting in an uber but the deal
out there is like there's no ubers europe pioneer town is very isolated and yucca valley is a teeny
town so i say how about this we drive back to our motel and then we ditch the car at our crappy little motel
we walk to a local watering hole and we get all tanked up uh over there but we do this plan
we go to this this like bar in yucca valley that's right by our crappy motel
full record scratch moment we walk in and it was locals big old bearded locals they were like suited folk
they looked at me in my pretty little mouth and it it really was i felt like immediately uh
uncomfortable and then i go up to the bar and i said i uh can i get a makers on the rocks
and because i had enough whiskey sours i didn't want to fuck around with any more sour um and the lady uh the bartender goes into this spiel uh it was like uh this is a beer bar
we do not sell liquor we are a cash only establishment and before you ask no we do
not have an atm that would make things too easy on you whoa fucking yelled it out so like everyone like
to embarrass me like everyone looked at me it's like it's like a live like do we serve water
type of a real life yeah coyote ugly wow so i'm like the preppy yuppie that got shot out of coyote
ugly with this with the seltzer gun um but and i mean the truth is i did have cash on me and i do like
beer but i kind of was cheesed out by that so i was like whatever i'm gonna fuck off you know
so i i were walking out of there oh so you bailed that's great i bailed i'm not i don't give my
fucking yeah emmy winning money where is that emmy Do you have, oh, did you?
It was a nomination
and I didn't win it,
Mike.
Thank you.
I do have a piece of paper
somewhere that says
that I was nominated.
I should have that framed
and blown up.
You should have it shrunk down
and have it in your wallet
in case of these sorts of situations.
I might have it shrunk down
and hanging on my dick.
Oh.
Okay,
so we're walking home
and I go,
hey,
COVID. I'm walking home and i say oh i remembered i brought some little sailor jerry nips in my bag uh so let's stop at 7-eleven and get some mixers and
we poke into 7-eleven i scan the fridge was that a mirror turning around? Yeah. 360 society mirror.
Cherry Cola.
I see.
Cherry Coke.
Coca-Cola brand cherry Coke.
A fine drink on its own.
Really good.
Maybe perhaps won our Patreon episode of best soft drink.
I think you're right because I think two of us had it.
Yeah.
So I got that.
Went back to the hotel room. Did the the thing it's so fun in a hotel
room you get the ice bucket you know you get the little bathroom plastic cups and you're mixing up
a drink uh kind of like john candy and uh steve martin taking their little nips to the dome but i
go i mix them up and and i drink so sailor jerry and cherry coke and i and there it just struck both me and jessica is like kind of
weirdly good like you know uh one liquor one mixer but it was very we were like this is good
and there's like a a synergy between the spiced rum and the cherry cola that it's an elevated
rum and coke that has a little bit of warmth i want to say festive cheer and warmth to it and
it was a you know weird dusty desert hotel room but we're having a warm that's why i called it
the cordial it makes you feel cordial you know is that what a cordial means is that what no a
cordial is like a liqueur or a schnapps it's like a like a yeah but like why do i always associate
the word cordial i mean the word cordial means like warm and pleasant, right?
Or festive.
So maybe the first person-
Full of cord.
Yeah.
But why is it associated with cherry?
Or is it?
Because I think cherry schnapp, like a cherry cordial.
I mean, aren't cherries welcoming and pleasant, Jeff?
I think.
Yes.
Jeff, when someone visits your home home do you not hand them a cherry
upon entrance
yes we do
that's what we do yes
and they always enjoy it
they better every time I go to Jeff's
I'm like just fucking trying to get that
cherry down just to make him happy
did you finish every last bite
yeah it's basically one bite. Swallow the pit.
Yeah, I'll go to Jeff's and he'll hand me.
I say, yes. Okay, this isn't the strangest fruit to give someone upon entrance in their home.
Probably more of one of those yuzu fruits would be a little more.
Okay, so I get back to LA after this weekend.
I say, that was good.
I'm going to keep drinking these.
And what works for me is I get the Cherry Coke Zero
because you guys know I'm trying to get rail thin.
I'm talking skinny so you can count my bones.
Even thinner?
I don't think that's possible.
I'm trying to get to the point where it's like
we're worried about Tim.
I'm worried more about what's going on below the neck.
What's going on in that brain
rattling around up there.
Below the neck.
The brain's dipping down below the neck.
Did I say above?
I meant above the neck.
I got a lot of action above the neck
and below the belt,
but really nothing in the middle there.
So you can make kind of the low cow version,
but then I told you guys...
Yes, you've got fantastic knees, Tim.
When I was on my big DeSarono kick,
I was splashing a little amaretto on top.
Remember that.
And then here's the thing.
You don't have to float anything on top.
You do it.
Oh,
gee,
style is original style.
He's that's great.
But it is fun.
If you scan your brain for the sort of warm things you have,
your,
your,
uh,
grand Marnier, uh, maybe an Amaro, maybe a SoCo, something sort of warm things you have your your uh grand marnier uh maybe an amaro maybe
a soco something kind of warm you can always float it on top of you dude hey you know i have an i have
an idea tim i don't want to be throwing variations at you this please in the episode hey put a little
fireball on there dude that's fucking good that is a good idea that's fucking good. That is a good idea. That's fucking pit bull stylies.
You know what?
I might do that for round two.
Holy shit.
I'm going to do that for round one.
That's perfectly on.
It's warm.
It's festive.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
Tim, here's the thing.
The genius of what you've cooked up here is that these are two readily available ingredients,
but they have specificity.
You're not saying grab any old rum and any old Coke.
You're saying you need a spiced rum and a cherry Coke.
And I'll tell you what,
any gas station worth its salt is going to have that shit.
Hell yeah.
And that's why I want to be up there with the fucking,
you know,
I talked before in the pod,
how I was like tinkering and making the recipe fancy.
Then I realized,
no,
Tim, if you want the, you want the Calpe cordial to be a drink of the people you want it to you want in the future it goes tequila soda vodka soda whiskey ginger calpe cordial boom
bish bish bish bish yep okay bish okay the iba is gonna be fucking recognizing this thing. And I'll say this about the Coke.
If you can't find cherry Coke, you know, I've done it with wild cherry Pepsi.
Works great.
I've done it with normal Coke and I splash in.
I've got Trader Vic's maraschino syrup.
That's probably the best.
And yes, you can do grenadine.
That's a little more the Batman territory.
A little bit gothic. No, we don't do that.
No, we don't do that. No, no, no. Thank thank you don't even want to talk about the amc theaters yes forget
that i am so over that is like olivia rodrigo that's like livrod shit okay it's the thing of
the past it don't look in the rear view you're looking forward to the future let's look forward
to my recipe here to slop heads write it down one and a half ounces of spiced rum now that can be sailor jerry captain
morgan admiral nelson you know commander jones any nautical nautical man and notice i said one
and a half ounces that's a shot frank is the one i got he's good He's actually really good. Yeah, that's a nice, easy measurement.
I have cabin boy, Carl.
Anyway, a lot of, I feel like I've learned that most cocktails start with two ounces of a base spirit.
But this is one of the few cocktails where if you make it too strong, you don't taste the cherry anymore.
So you kind of, it's almost nice to make it kind of weak sometimes.
Interesting.
After the spiced rum, cherry Coke to the top.
Okay?
Top up.
I'm not giving you a specific measurement because this is like a tequila soda, vodka
soda, whiskey ginger.
Wait, that was an ounce and a half.
That's a shot of rum.
Rum.
Spiced rum.
I'm going to be using Sailor Jerry. You guys got Captain Morgan?
I got Captain Morgan and I'm so happy
to use it. I've been
I've had this bottle for like three years
and never used it. Is it a big handle?
Yeah, it's a big dumb handle I got from like a
bachelor party or something like that.
I'll take it. Haven't touched it.
Captain Morgan was a big part of our college experience.
Yeah. I really thought
I'd use it.
What is it?
You and the captain make it happen?
Is that the name? Oh, yeah.
That's Captain Crush.
That's Captain Crush.
No, everyone's got a little captain in them.
They were lifting their knee into the air.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You make it happen, too, with this captain.
All types of captains.
I got a pint of Captain Morgan's,
and it came in one of those
Kind of thin looking
Almost like
What do they fucking call those
What are those things called
Where you unscrew the top and you fit it right in your pocket
It's like a flask
It had that kind of feel
And I slipped it in my pocket when I left
After I paid for it
And I was like oh this feels like
An 80's 90's movie movie guy who has a flask of whiskey or something in his pocket.
That's cool.
You should be one of those guys.
Well, he was that day.
It's kind of funny if you're stealing little sips of Captain Morgan spiced rum.
Oh, I told you guys the time I went to the fireworks and I put some Captain Morgans in a Coke.
The cop smelled it and said, vanilla Coke, good choice.
Ah, yes.
So it's already got a warmth to it.
Well.
Wait, but Tim, about the to the top thing.
Yep.
I have a classic DOF glass, double old fashioned.
Perfect.
I'm going to load it up with cubes, but here's the thing.
I'm going to think, I think I'm going to do a double.
I think I'm going to do three ounces
and then go to the top with that. Double perfect okay okay cool i uh it tends to just run it by
the guy you know yeah you don't get we don't get sit down with the inventor very often a lot of
them don't answer our emails but i've found that uh i like to really always pack my glass with ice
and i've found with this drink.
Yeah, Pac-Man.
Although, you know, sometimes I also said that I didn't want to,
you don't want to make this drink too strong.
So I guess Slopheads, I'm not going to ride you too hard
if you don't put enough ice.
But I just like, you know, when you're making a cocktail,
put ice in there.
Sometimes you look at a cocktail and it's like,
you know those moon-shaped cubes that come out of a fridge
and and it's like there's like two of them floating around and make it hard to drink
when those moon-shaped when the when the curve of the moon-shaped cube rides the glass exactly
and prevents the fucking drink from going into your mouth that's a good album title for us
the curve of the moon-shaped cube it just hurt people's heads just even reading it.
The curve of the moon-shaped cube.
It's mostly like just ambient music and poetry.
The curve of the moon-shaped cube.
To answer you though, Jeff, it tends to be about two to one soda to rum,
just based on the amount of room left between your cubes. But
do it to taste. I'm not giving you a super
specific specification there, but
here's the method, folks, with
your spiced rum and your cherry Coke. Pour rum
in an old-fashioned glass filled with ice.
That's a lowball glass. Topped with
cherry Coke, garnish or
float in a manner that reflects
your own personal style.
I like this.
Okay.
So if you don't garnish, no shame in that.
That's original style.
That's Calpe cordial.
That's beloved.
Doesn't speak well of your character.
Well, hey, come on.
Who am I to judge?
To not have your own style.
It's fine if you don't, if you're an uninteresting person. The world needs them too.
But I think that, you know know it's fun to garnish i
mentioned all my little floats sometimes it could be uh uh amaretto or grand marnier morrow or
fireball but other times hey i'm gonna today i'm gonna be putting cherries up there because i think
it's the perfect garnish for a nice warm cherry drink but you let's say you got your favorite swizzle stick maybe you're a tiki person
and you like the little umbrella and you can get you this came to me because you guys suggested i
should top mine with a guitar pick and i do have a nice little heart-shaped red guitar pick that i
might put on top of there too and say because i'm a guitarist you know and it tells people around me
i make music yeah if you're a computer programmer
maybe you put like a usb thumb drive on the corner yes that's exactly or you pop a key off your
computer keyboard pop that in there oh i think let's say you're a gambling man and you love to
hit vegas how about you you put a couple dice up oh that's i'm looking here i'm i'm usually sort of uh feeling sick or something how about
i put a little bit of my neosporin in there yes yes is it um is that the pain relieving kind or
is it just the that is original ointment okay original ointment stylies that's perfect for you
pretty original guy um classic whatever reflects your own personal style, this is your chance, but you don't have to.
That is the long and short of it.
That is the drink I've laid out.
I'm ready to...
That's the ice cubes.
And then here's the drinks.
Yeah, I'm a little bit ready to like a...
Wait a minute.
Oh, yeah, you've had enough of these.
You act like that.
You act like that?
You act like that with me?
You behave that way here?
No, not now.
On my pod.
All right, folks.
Let's go mix up these Calpe cordials.
I can't wait to talk about them.
Great.
Oh yeah.
We'll see you after these messages.
And we're back with Calpy Cordials.
Feeling warm and inviting.
Oh, you know, I measured this time and it was actually three to one.
Whoa.
Mine's more like two to one.
Whoa.
Well, that is what I had said in segment one, so that's fine.
Did you do any garnishes, or did you choose to go original stylies?
I garnished.
I've been having a lot of fun in the kitchen lately, so I put a little spatula in mine.
Beautiful.
A little lava. And you have mentioned with your egg bakes and your vegetarian cuisine.
That's right.
It's top of mind what I do in the kitchen.
I also love that it's red.
It kind of fits with the color scheme.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Jefferson, your style leaf?
See, I kept it very simple because I want to get a nice read on this,
but I needed to have a garnish.
So I threw in a very simple, very classy Luxardo.
Oh, my God.
That's perfect.
Elegance unlimited.
Perfect.
Is that sunk at the bottom?
Is that where we're looking at there?
It's sort of amongst the cubes right now.
It's trapped in the ice.
We got to fish it out from the cubes.
There's only one way to get it out.
Tim, what do you got going on?
That looks nuts.
I went cherry stylies
But I wanted to give it my own personal flair
I'm kind of an indulgent guy
So I put like eight or ten cherries in there
You guys have more cherries than cubes
Eight or ten cherries you got
Wow
Eight or ten
So I would say on average
Possibly like nine
Okay
Shall we?
Let's do it
Bottoms up
That's very good
that's very good do you feel like a kind of a warmth like taking over your body and making
you feel cordial i do feel cordial here. Here's the thing. The warmth, and I understand the warmth is more of a feeling,
not the temperature, but I've got a,
I had a chilled glass and I put a lot of ice
and a very cold Coke.
This might be too cold of a drink right now.
Mike, your lips are turning blue, dude.
Oh, that's good.
That's nice.
You know, I tell you this, I was thinking too,
when I had a jar of maraschino cherries,
I was loading up and I said, I could have just, you know, used the normal Coke and drip,
drip, a little bit of this maraschino juice.
Well, if you got cherry Coke, you're going to want to use that recipe.
I feel like I should have maybe put, I put too much Coke in, cherry Coke in this.
Really?
Like I'm not getting the spiced rum really at all i
think i did uh i think i did a little too much spiced rum you know what i'm just gonna go grab
a little bottle of cherry coke and see if i can do a little tweak yeah top off as you sip and that
way you can lock in your perfect perfect while he's doing that i'm gonna customize my drink and
put a little more of the spiced rum in there just. I'm going to hold it down solo here for a little bit.
Yeah, you riff, man.
Just riff.
Okay, Mike, John.
Hey, guys.
It's Tim.
And I'm back.
Oh, Jeff's here.
I'll tell you this.
Cherries are delicious.
I've eaten seven of them.
Okay, Jeff's gone again, guys.
I wanted to say say go easy on mike
and jeff um they're doing their best but uh just bear with them okay jefferson hey um i wanted to
show you guys as we're uh it was really exhilarating to like learn about i like learning
about the two of you through your stylies and i wanted to show
you i snapped a few pictures of cordials that i've made before um and i'll show you on my phone here
here was i i also there's a warmth the warmth just show you're getting the warmth okay now
so you had to add more spiced rum jeff has to add more cherry coke it's that perfect yeah which is
which is weird because this isn't maybe i just didn't do an ounce and a half correctly i think i think i did
but well you see the creator of this recipe didn't give you a standard measurement he said top up so
yeah tim for me just for me yeah three to one is where it's at that's just we got the shit wired
over here so yeah mine is three to one and it tastes like the way that I want it to. So let's go ahead and say Slopheads.
It's again, it's your thing.
You do whatever.
No one's going to tell you how to make a vodka soda.
So you could always tweak what you want.
Same brain.
Let's say you want to be like a pretentious,
waxy mustache type of guy about to copy Cordial.
You go, oh, it's got to be three to one.
It's got to be three to one. Otherwise I won't drink to one otherwise i won't drink it it's piss oh man here's the pictures i want to show you guys
first this was just some classy ones where i had some nice red swizzle sticks and some luxardos
that were on um yeah oh wow that looks like that looks ready for the magazine yeah that was kind
of gourmet magazine style is tim promise me you will post that i promise you here Yeah, that was kind of gourmet magazine stylies. Tim, promise me you will post that.
I promise you.
Here's one that was on your recommendation.
This was guitar pick stylies.
Little red guitar pick.
Oh, I see it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see it.
And I usually use a medium pick, and those are orange,
so I had to use a heavy pick for that, which was fine.
And after that, you know, I was thinking like,
hey, how do i show my my
own personal uh flair and in our band i tend to wear a lot of uh pairs of sunglasses so here's
but then of course what hit me for my last one i said tim tim tim what about people who are from
louisiana you know and they want to show to show off that they're from such a wonderful place.
I did one Calpe Gorgio with tiny Tabasco bottles.
With one of those little nips of Tabasco.
How did you perch it on the side of the glass just so?
Well, here's the thing, Jeff.
I dropped it in there.
It knocked the cube out of the way and it sunk to the bottom.
Then I fished my fat little fingers in there,
pulled it out, and then I had to stack the cubes up
to make almost like a little cube mountain
to rest the bottle on top.
But that's like Louisiana styleys.
Well, but Tim, also, you got the shot.
All I care about, I am a shutterbug, okay?
You got the shot.
Oh, I should say
the pick idea I had,
I also suggested
just doing like a triangle
of, you know,
pineapple or something.
Pineapple, you'd said.
Yes.
Just to give it this sort of,
that's what it represents.
But I don't know if pineapple
would be good in this.
Pineapple cherry?
That sounds pretty good to me.
Well, it wouldn't even, it wouldn't even affect the flavor too much.
We just have a nice little triangle perched on the side,
and it shows people that you love Dole.
You would have voted for Dole.
I've ridden the Dole train at the Dole Plantation on Oahu.
Hey, you ever had a Dole whip?
Yeah.
Love them.
Never had.
You know, here's what I learned that you can't just sell a dole
whip anywhere because they're branded and i've turned i learned this at work the other day
i've had dole whips at the only three places where they are sanctioned to be sold disneyland
disneyland then the dole plantation in hawaii And then the fucking someplace like a random place in Palm Springs.
Oh, really?
Oh, Doley's.
Doley's hole.
The Dole.
The Dole hole.
This is good.
Do you think, should I, should we officially say three to one?
Does that make it a stronger recipe?
Three to one.
I think it makes it a more, you taste the spiced rum in there, because you
chose spiced rum for a reason.
The taste. Because I didn't just go
any old Bacardi off the
fucking shelf.
I'm enjoying this, Tim.
Do you feel cordial?
Yeah, if anyone showed up at my door, I'd say,
come in, man, and know me better.
So you, the interesting thing about this drink, it's like, I think of rum as a tropical drink.
And that's like, you don't, like a warm drink, it makes me think of like a Christmas drink, which this certainly doesn't.
Well, these are interesting points, Mike.
But might I just remind you, rum, the colonial America rum is coming up and it's served in New York taverns and stuff like that.
And it makes its way in to, let's not forget, eggnog and Tom and Jerry's and some Christmassy type stuff.
Right, right, right, right.
Okay.
You got your, you know, spiced rum, yeah, Christmassy.
White rum, I'm in the islands.
You know what else I like about this drink?
Calpe Cordial.
It came out of adversity.
It came out of somebody at the bar telling you, no, no, no.
It came out of Batman, the corporation saying, we do it first.
We do first.
But it's cordial.
You took the upper hand here, or the better hand.
Upper hand, you took the higher road, let's say that.
There you go.
Yeah.
And you're cordial about it.
I'm like Michael Jordan.
You know, you tell me I can't do something.
I say, okay.
Okay.
No, okay.
That's fine.
That's the way you want to play it.
And you dunked.
And I'll dunk on you.
And on the warm front, I want to play and you dunk that i'll dunk on you and on the warm
front i want to be clear i don't consider this like it's not it's not a christmas drink but it
is it's a way to conjure that you know when it's a little too early it's not thanksgiving yet or
it's like a little later later in the winter it's it's uh you know late march or even early april
and you're thinking it's i don't know what time of year.
It's not like spring has fully sprung yet.
I feel like I'm in a fucking no man's land here.
Yeah, well, help me out.
Yeah, when the hell is spring?
April?
Throw me a bone.
I don't know.
I feel like spring, we act like spring's happening, but it's really like May, you know?
Yeah.
You always get that fake out thing.
I remember that from living in New York, but especially when we went to
Ithaca College.
There would be like a day that was
warm in early April and everyone would be out
on the quad playing guitar,
throwing the frisbee around.
Two days later, snow.
Sorry, folks.
I got news for you here.
Whose news?
No, this is weather news.
No, seasonal news.
First day of spring this year,
March 20th. Already happened.
Equinox.
I think it was April. I thought it was April.
How come no one wished me
happy spring? What the hell's going on here?
Nobody remembers spring anymore?
I mailed you something.
It hasn't gotten here yet.
Have you ever done the
thing i remember being a kid and being at my dad's friend's house and he was like spend much time at
your dad's friend's house he didn't go over to neil rubenstein's house not much time over there
i actually don't know maybe it could have been michael i would go over there to borrow his
lawnmower borrow some tools no who was it it, no, it was Sherit Chase. Anyway, listen. Sherit Chase.
He said that it's the equinox and you can balance an egg.
I've heard that too.
Because like the magnetism of the universe is such that you could balance an egg on a table.
Like, yeah, sticking straight up, right?
I don't like that.
That feels witchy to me.
That's dark-sided. That's dark-sided.
That's dark-sided?
Wait, who says that?
That was an episode of Wife Swap we all watched.
Oh, that lady that has that crazy tie-in.
It's dark-sided!
It's dark-sided!
She's not Christian!
That's good television. Could you imagine? Folks, check out that 15 year old episode
Of Wife Swap
That lady was losing her shit
Could you imagine the producers being like
Yeah lady you're right keep going
That's good
That's on YouTube
You can look up I think
Just Wife Swap and then she's not a Christian
Or something
This lady she gets wild.
I'm not Christian!
You guys are Christian, right, before I lose my shit?
Hell yes.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, good. Thank you.
Born and raised.
That should be known to everyone listening.
All three sloppy boys attended Catholic high school.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Tim, I think we have We
You know, earlier we were talking about
The zeitgeist of this
The zeitgeist in general
And how this drink fits into it
And you know, we talk about here
This drink is a little more far and wide
Than you would think
Really?
Yeah, there is an artist
Sort of a newer artist
Who put out a song recently.
I think it's on Spotify, but I ripped it off YouTube.
But I got it here if we want to take a listen.
I would love to.
Oh, great.
And I am a Spotify subscriber, so after the show, that's where I can go.
Yeah.
The thing I will say about this thing, the artist, towards the end, I think,
kind of like,
must have,
I don't know the whole story,
but maybe tripped on something and something got a little funky
at the end.
Okay,
no,
that's just at the end,
but until then,
it's just,
it's basically,
I thought Calbee Cordial
hadn't really gone too far and wide,
but you're saying that this song
might prove otherwise?
Yeah,
I mean,
it's one of those songs too
where,
you know,
it's really hooking into that feeling
that sort of specific moment right now
that's like,
what is this drink?
What is it?
We're sort of teaching about it,
learning about it.
Yeah, so.
Because it's a drink that makes you think,
what?
Why?
At this moment,
at this moment right now.
Who and when and which?
All right.
There's a brand new drink and it's making the rounds.
Don't know if it's optional with the ice.
Nothing left to do, so let's just drink them down.
A, B, C, D, E, Calcge is the drink and we hope it doesn't stink.
Almost taken by Batman, the one with Pattinson.
Corge will take a sip.
That means put it to your lip.
Then just tip the glass back.
It's a very simple task.
Enjoy.
Yeah.
Oh. That must have been what you were talking about.
That must have been.
That was Gail.
Oh!
We, well, I skipped.
We did do some Gail Watch 2022 this week.
Of course, I skipped it in Booze News because I had this I kind of wanted to sit on.
It didn't seem appropriate to do early on. But yeah, we found this.
And Gail is into...
Well, she shouldn't be doing it. She's 17 years old.
She should not be drinking. Right, no, we don't condone
that. But is there a virgin
version of this, Tim?
What?
Yeah. Is there a virgin
version of this drink? Oh, oh, oh, oh.
A virgin version.
Virgin.
Yes.
Basically, what you want to do,
old-fashioned glass full of ice,
top up with cherry cream.
That's Gale style.
And put a spatula in it.
Yes.
And if you are a budding home chef,
put a red spatula in there.
Wait, wait.
You might be thinking, top what up?
The ice.
That's what you're topping up.
Finish off that ice.
You were about to have the ice, but no, no.
Top up.
The ice, you goon.
I like hearing, was Gail doubling her vocals this time?
I like the sound.
Yeah, she's a really rich sound.
She's moving on to new things.
And what a nice little organic earworm.
A, B, C, D, E, what is it?
Calp cord?
Calp cord.
The drink is called the Calpy Cordial.
No, I know.
Yes.
So it rhymes because F-U, forget you you Calp-corge
Calp-corge
It's a drink
And we hope it doesn't stink
See that's what I'm saying
They don't know about it yet
People don't know
Yeah cutting edge
It's so new
They've heard about it
But they haven't had it
It's so in the moment
Wow
Yeah
Fuck
Mmm
Well
Mmm
You know when you said like
You know there's this drink
And then there's also like
The zeitgeist,
sometimes I get confused between the two even.
I know.
Are they even the same thing?
Yeah.
I know.
I know.
They are.
Today they are.
It's great we're getting in on the ground floor of this drink,
and all the listeners are too.
And I think I'm going to experiment with some new stylies for round two me too i'm
gonna i'm gonna try a floater this time what floaters you're putting in there here's an idea
i was i just did a quick scan of my liquor shelf and i said sweet warm sweet warm what would go
good in this and i looked because i've done grand marnier and i've done uh and i've done the uh
amarettos and amaros stuff my eyes landed on this is kind of perfect because this thing i don't know looked because i've done grand marnier and i've done uh and i've done the uh amaretto's and
amaro's stuff my eyes landed on this is kind of perfect because this thing i don't know what
to do with it most of the time i got this big bottle trader vicks macadamia nut liqueur wow
nutty warm sweet it's very sweet so i'm only going to do a drizzle tim you're going down
the check marks in my head nuttyty check, warm check, sweet check.
This is how I describe you, Jeff.
Jeff Dutton, who is that nutty, warm,
sweet? You know the guy. He's nutty, warm, and sweet.
That's the guy. And his hair is always
changing color. Big purple pee.
Purple pee, if you listen to
the blowout. For those non-patrons
right now, they're going, what the fuck are they doing over there in the blowout. For those non-patrons right now, they're going,
what the fuck are they doing over there in the blowout?
This is insane over there.
Yeah, it kind of is.
And we kind of love it.
And, hey, as long as we're talking about the Patreon,
we got our second pay pig forking over $100 a month for no perks over there.
So you could say that our little sty is filling up quite nicely,
isn't it? Yes, that's right.
Wait, so a
floater is just kind of a little dropper?
Think of a...
Remember at the restaurant Mexico City
they had the Cadillac Margarita?
It was a margarita and then they'd take
a shot of Grand Marnier
and just gently pour it over the top
so it doesn't even mix in.
It just sits on the top.
I'm going to go see what I have, but I think I've got an idea for a floater.
By the way, rest in peace, Mexico City.
Have you guys been to Encanto?
I love the movie.
I'm enjoying Encanto, but it's a place for a $17 cocktail and a $100 dinner.
What?
It's a little much for the J-Man.
Yeah.
I ordered a whiskey and a beer.
I think it was a whiskey and a beer.
It shows up on a brass tray with two lines of salt.
Oh, they did like a cocaine joke.
I was like, come on.
Oh, I was making a joke, but like they're trying to do like a cocaine.
Yes, they're trying to do like a cocaine nod.
And it was like a bottle of Coke and then your your glass with ice, and it was all separated.
I snorted the shit.
Yeah, and you snorted it.
And then it was weird because you were really coked up the rest of the night.
Well, I'm going to be with you guys next week.
I'm going to go there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
Oh, that's going to be fun, by the way.
Folks, you're going to be hearing some live IRL episodes coming up.
Yeah, baby.
All right.
I'm going to go make another one.
Yeah, let's do it.
Round two.
Let's go.
And we're back with round two of the delicious Calpe Cordial.
Delicious.
I like this.
Bodes well for final thoughts, I'll tell you that.
I think we had our final thoughts.
All right.
I have the Calpe Cordial in hand, and I said, what should I float here?
Tonight, I introduced Calpe to Mr. DeKuyper,
a little triple sec.
Beautiful.
Michael, sweet, warm, orange.
Love it.
Very good.
Very good.
I like that orange style.
I did, as promised, I put in half a shot, 15 milliliters of Fireball.
And I stirred it in to test because I was like, is this going to be perceptible?
And folks, it is.
But just a little bit, it's balanced.
If you want to bring a little holiday cheer to the Calpe Cordial, look no further than a little bit of Fireball.
So now why exactly do you laugh when you say that?
Look no further. fireball. So now why exactly do you laugh when you say that? Look
no further. Tim, it makes
me wistful. Oh, okay.
You're looking back on good times
you've had. I've got
the...
Oh yeah, that
worked.
I did that macadamia nut stuff.
I only put the teeniest drizzle but
little nutty you know almost uh the way that uh a really good mai tai will have that little
nuttiness to it and hey we're three nutty guys so why not sure sure nutty stylies um stylies
now let me ask you this when i was getting my cherry coke today i wanted by and the first thing
i saw was cherry Pepsi.
And I said,
oh, that's not exactly what I want,
but what if I have to go with that?
I did find the cherry Coke.
But now would you say no, no, no
to something like that?
I'd actually say yes, yes, yes.
I know Coke versus Pepsi
is a whole fucking thing.
But I got it.
I'd actually say yes, yes, yes.
My answer to that officially on the
record is yes yes yes and during my my months of strenuous tech tech test kitchen oh boy r&d
these portals are hitting me um research and development I did try it with wild cherry pepsi
and I feel like wild cherry pepsi has the cherry comes through more than a Cherry Coke.
I think maybe I like Cherry Coke better than Wild Cherry Pepsi.
But in the context of the drink, the Pepsi was pretty cherry-ish, which I liked.
Did I see an ad the other day for Coca-Cola coffee?
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
I thought it.
Wait, Mike, I thought you drank one of those on the show. I thought one of you. Jeff, thought you drank one of those on the show one i thought
one of you jeff did you bring those paps paps hard coffee i think oh yes which i still have
in the fridge by the way not something i'm reaching for it's hard to fuck the coffee
brown can yeah reach for the brown can brown kale you good. I don't know when to drink that.
Caffeine and booze at the same time is weird.
I know we live in the age of the espresso martini,
but I feel like if it's Saturday night
and if I'm feeling sluggish and I'm going out,
at like 7 p.m. I will have a Red Bull
and then later I'll get drunk, but I rarely want to do them at the same time.m i will have a red bull and then later i'll get drunk but i rarely want
to do them at the same time it gets me all weird i've had several espresso martinis between the
time i got this paps done now i'm never reaching for that paps why do they call it espresso the
guy here zips you up gets you on the express lane but uh i've heard that i've heard that. I read that. It's a lot of liquid, that tall boy of hard coffee.
You know?
Yeah.
Do you need all that?
It kind of makes you piss.
Which is good if you're a piss freak, yes, but...
I will give my final thoughts.
Do it.
I will order this again.
Oh, my God. I will order this again. Oh my god. I will order this
again. This means
so much to us over here at Kelby
Cordial.
It's got that
rum and coke
style thing where it's like
you know, if you're having a party
or something and you're not going to
sit there and measure it out. Oh, let me get my
jeweler's loop.
You splash, splash, and you don not going to sit there and measure it out. Oh, let me get my jeweler's loop. You splash, splash, and move the tase and pass it on.
Splash it, trash it.
Put a pencil in it because your friend's a writer and give it away to somebody.
Splish, splash, I was taking a bath.
It's the copy cordial.
It's a good drink to hang loose to, folks.
If you want to be a waxy mustache bro, it's three to folks. If you want to be a waxy mustache, bro, it's three to one.
If you want to be fun, splash around.
You got a nice even axis.
Do you want it spicier?
Do you want it sweeter, more cherry?
Like, you can't fuck it up too much.
Once you find your balance, the sky's the limit.
It's customizable.
This guy's the limit. That's customizable. This guy's the limit.
That's basically my,
those are my final thoughts.
It's great.
It's an order again
and again and again.
It's got,
it's got flexibility
and latitude.
You can express yourself
with a drink like this.
I like it.
Thank you.
Now, obviously,
it's an order again for me.
Obviously, I like it,
but I wanted,
I'm just excited to like,
to have tapped into
the zeitgeist like
this and to know that the slop heads like there's so many people that listen to the show and i don't
know their individual stylies yet and i look forward to seeing their their stylies you know
like because uh hey let's say you're kind of like quirky you know you could come up with all kinds
of different stylies man well tim tim you need if
you need to figure out the hashtag so people can fucking yeah yeah hashtag spell out the word
hashtag that i don't want to use the sign oh okay that might make things a little harder put it in
quotes so it's searchable okay what if okay i knocked my headphones out. What if, you know, let's do another call to action.
When you go to your local bar, ask for the Calbee Cordial and record the results.
When they say, huh?
And don't go to that place in Yucca Valley that gave me tood.
I was going to say, Stiley's, Mike, Stiley's is your word, by the way.
I've made a habit of saying, of introducing our episodes with stylies, but I got that from you.
Do you remember?
I feel like you had a thing with Comedy Bang Bang.
Yeah, I was eating pizza in the morning once for breakfast.
I said, ooh, breakfast, pizza stylies.
Yeah, there you go.
That's what it was.
So you take it and you make it your own stylies.
That's what stylies is all about. The cool thing about stylies is you can use it.
You can talk about your breakfast or you can introduce a podcast episode with it.
It's so cool.
That's our show.
Follow us on social media at The Sloppy Boys where we release these recipes ahead of time.
Where we release these recipes ahead of time.
Also, be sure to check out our Patreon,
where subscribers can unlock the Sloppy Boys blowout,
our weekly bonus episode.
And not only that, but our monthly bonus episode,
Questions for Lennon.
That's patreon.com slash the Sloppy Boys.
Thanks for listening, folks.
We'll see you next week.
Ow, ow, ow!
And I just want to express gratitude for me to the listener and for you
guys for giving me this opportunity to present my drink on the show uh coming for me a one-time
Emmy nominee two-time WGA award nominee one time brought coffee for the entire cast and crew of a
music video this really meant a lot for me Kelpie gratitude gratitude. That's good. Oh, Tim.
I know we were joking earlier, but if you have a hashtag, I think we should come up with a hashtag for people to share their stylies.
I mean, the stylies is what you write in the thing you say.
I guess it's hashtag Kelpie Cordial.
I wanted to do the alliteration.
That's good.
Just hashtag Kelpie Cordial. And it's the official spelling of cordial because doing the two K's was cute,
but then it kind of felt like I was a clan member.
So I don't want to do that.
So let's say hashtag Calpy Cordial, and then you write what your stylies is.
Great.
And if it's original stylies, that's cool OG shit.
I love that.
And don't do fake stylies.
They have to be real. Do your real stylies. Don't be like, oh, water fake stylies. They have to be real.
Do your real stylies.
Don't be like, oh, water slide stylies.
I got a water slide coming out.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
You can't fit a water slide.
Do a real stylies.
The thing about the Calvary Cordial is the sincerity, folks.
You're putting your heart on your sleeve when you make this drink,
so why be Mr. Cool when you're making your post?
Right.
How do you think he got all those Emmy noms?
Because he said a bunch of shit that didn't matter to him?
No, he wrote from the heart.
I cut straight to the core.
That was warm and welcoming.
The Academy had no
choice but to nominate me.
They appreciate that type of stuff.
I wrote a script about the Emmy Academy
and they were like, whoa, that is so sweet of him.
Alright folks, we'll see you next week I wrote a script about the Emmy Academy and they were like, whoa, that is so sweet of him. All right,
folks,
we'll see you next week.
Live and in person altogether.
Once again,
live in person,
you'll all be there too.
West coast.
Stylish.
Ooh. Boys, give it up for your boys
Give it up for your boys