The Sloppy Boys - [UNLOCKED] The Sunset Strip
Episode Date: November 10, 2021The guys take a rock-n-roll stroll down a top-of-the-tip strip.Enjoy this [UNLOCKED] episode from our weekly Patreon bonus podcast, The Sloppy Boys Blowout!www.patreon.com/thesloppyboys Hosted on Acas...t. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hey folks, welcome to the Sloppy Boys Blowout.
I'm the Big Hand Bopper here with Jeff Dutton.
Hey, hey.
And Tim Kalpakis.
What is up?
All right, we're going to be talking a lot to these two guys today.
They've got a lot to say.
Thanks so much for coming on the show.
The Big Hand Bopper.
That came up last time, didn't it?
Yeah.
And it did so well last time.
Do we not like that? It's one of those
I would, again, just categorize as this is
like a thing that's like, I just don't know about it.
Just don't know what he's doing.
Alright, well, so Big Hand Bopper is
whoop, dead. DOA.
Canonically dead?
It sounds like the Big Hand Bopper is the one
telling me that it's dead. Hey, not
going to be doing the Big Hand Bopper much more. Big Hand Bopper is the one telling me that. Hey, not going to be doing the Big Hand Bopper much more.
Big Hand Bopper is off.
He is six feet underground.
The guests do not like Big Hand Bopper.
I think it would be cool if instead of a Patreon podcast, if this was an AM radio show.
What if Big Hand Bopper and Zuby Condorino sort of do their own new tier show?
Yeah, that could be good.
Like a lower tier?
Yeah, yeah.
We pay you to listen to it.
Hey, we'll send you $5 a month.
Give us a listen.
I wonder if, you know,
one of you just was cracking lies about AM radio.
Sure.
And that's really funny.
Thank you.
Thank you so much,
because I am a comedy writer.
But for serious, though,
I wonder if...
What if you took our little pod and you put it on the terrestrial airwaves?
What would happen out there, you think?
It would be better than the bullshit they have on there.
What do they got?
Rush Limbaugh?
He's dead.
Yeah.
Yeah, geez.
Don Ivis?
He's hopefully dead, right?
He's got to be dead, too.
Yeah, who's on AM radio?
I think they're all past. Hey, it doesn't even have to be am i would even do fm they went the way of the big hand bopper
fast um i listen to fm uh what do they got going on there it's a lot of top 40 it's a lot of
rin chero it's a lot of classical a lot of car commercials that's pretty much it
well it looks like
sounds like they need
WSLP
WSLP
oh we're the whole station
mm-hmm
oh
so we gotta do this show
all day
24 hours
I don't think we could do
this show for a
honestly
seriously
you know
you know car talk
you guys ever listen to car talk
yeah
yeah those guys are
the
the Boston guys
click and clack
yeah I didn't think one of those guys died too didn't oh shit everybody's dying man seems like
everybody that does radio fucking croaks everyone stay on the pot stay on the pot we're safe my god
you know what's weird croaks w radio stations that start with w are on the east coast you think it'll
be west whereas on the west coast it's k no shit yeah i i wonder where
it stops like is ohio doing what's the dividing line if you're from ohio let us know w or k
what's the mason dixon line for the w and the k yeah i bet it's the mississippi river i always
thought that was a uh movie thing like oh in movies they say k like klondike five oh like five five five phone numbers yeah or um oh right right right i mean
this is the simpsons is kbbl brazilian butt lift yeah i was like i always thought it was babble but
yeah it's probably brazilian but oh babble yeah probably brazilian both because those two guys
you guys know about hellman's and best foods right yeah yeah yeah yeah folks that's mayonnaise look
it up hardy's carl's hardy's and, that's mayonnaise. Look it up. Hardee's, Carl's.
Hardee's and Carl's.
That's another weird one.
It's like exactly the fucking same, but.
Yep.
Yeah, that's a lateral move.
Hellman's is so much better than Best Foods.
I remember seeing Best Foods on screen and being like,
because it's silly.
Yeah, Best Foods. Unless you grew up with Best Foods.
Hey, if you see Best Foods and you're a Hellman's guy like me,
you're fucking laughing out loud.
So it's not the same company?
It is.
Oh, it is.
Okay.
One tested better over here and one tested better over there.
Interesting.
I hate how much hate mayo gets.
People, it's cool to be like, gag me with a spoon.
Yeah, yeah.
All the Valley girls.
It's delicious and grow up.
If you're an adult, eat it.
If you're a kid, don't eat it.
I don't care.
Yeah.
No, it's great.
Wait, did I tell my mayo story tell that sure blimpy subs has that come up on the pod i don't know what it's good well i was at blimpy subs when i was in high school and i was walking down
the line and i said to the lady you know all the stuff i wanted and i was like uh mayo and then
she took i was getting a foot long sub at blimpy. And she reached that like spreader knife thing down into the mayo and brought up a giant gob and like flapped on the sandwich.
And she goes, damn, you must really like mayonnaise.
I was like, what?
I was like, what are you talking about?
Why did you put that much on? She's like, want me to scrape it off? I was like, yes? I was like, what are you talking about? Why'd you put that much on?
She's like, want me to scrape it off?
I was like, yes.
But you like it.
Yeah.
And I was like, I played it back in my head.
I was like, the only thing I could imagine is if she thought I was going to say when.
Yeah, right.
But she didn't do multiple.
It was the first gob.
Yeah, like it would be when on how deep she dips the spreader into the...
Yeah.
How deep do you want this to get?
That is...
I tell people that story a lot because I think it's funny.
Thank you.
But I use myself.
I say, so there I am at Blimpy Subs.
There's me.
Man, the key is if you make a sandwich, I like spicy mustard, right?
But I also don't like a dry ass sandwich.
Right. And to make it moist, like you want a sandwich to be, you end up using a ton of spicy
mustard and it makes it overpoweringly spicy. So what I've learned is to make my own spread
ahead of time where I take mayo and I do like half mayo, half this spicy mustard. And then now
the flavor isn't overpowering,
but you got sort of moisture throughout every bite.
Yeah, you got a nice wet bread.
That's what you want.
Mayo is not supposed to be just on its own all the time.
What you can also do is you run the tap and just,
it's a second right under, you just run the sandwich right under.
Spritz it.
Yeah. You know what? Here's under. Spritz it. Yeah.
You know what?
Here's something for mayo.
I'm so adventurous in the kitchen.
I will say I'm making like a hollandaise sauce.
I like artichokes, so I do hollandaise sauce to dip a lot of the time.
That's butter mostly, right?
A lot of butter.
It's usually butter, egg white, and lemon.
That's like what a fancy place would do.
But I throw a little in a skillet.
I just do melt butter, lemon, and then put some mayonnaise in it and whip that up.
Pretty much the same thing.
I do it.
Very quick.
Very easy.
Now, what about your, didn't you have a childhood snack of tomato?
Yeah.
In my family, tomato with mayonnaise on it.
So just round tomato slices on a plate with little circles
of Hellmann's on there.
That's right.
And a little pepper.
That's right.
It's the hand bopper.
The hand bopper's back.
Well.
You know what?
I used to do something like that
in the Ithaca College dining hall.
There would be like
a make your own sandwich
thing up in the terraces.
Yeah.
And I go up and i say
turkey sandwich please and they say what do you want on it i said more turkey you know
so it'd be mayo turkey little cracked pepper and that's it oh your condiment was turkey yeah and i
and i just said like you know more turkey like double turkey just mayo turkey pepper that's all
i need that's yeah i mean i don't like mayo, turkey, pepper. That's all I need.
That's, yeah.
I mean, I don't like too much turkey on a sandwich because it's dry and it makes me,
sometimes I'm trying to swallow turkey and it gets stuck in my throat.
It happens on the third Thursday of the month.
Yeah, I bet it does.
Well, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving.
That's a good time to eat that stuff.
You too.
Tryptophan, Mike.
Well, look, I got nothing to do the whole day.
I can eat a little turkey in the morning.
Well, you've got to watch a football game.
Oh, the football game.
And if they don't win, there goes my bracket.
Yep.
There goes my jacket.
There goes your savings.
Yeah.
I always bet my jacket every Thanksgiving.
I've won so far.
We've got to do bracket jackets this year.
Yeah, we'll do bracket jacket.
Well, you know, we didn't come on this podcast to blow out here.
Oh, and thanks to the Patrons, by the way, for showing up.
We love you guys.
Hey, every tier, by the way.
Yep, every tier gets in here.
Even the, not the tip jar.
No, we don't shout out tip jar.
Tip jar is just, they're on their own.
I mean, one love, but no, we don't shout out tip jar tip jar is just they're on their own i mean one love but no we don't shout out yeah much love no shout out uh we be well we be well yeah
we work we will we have a lot to say to them so yeah to the tip jar people love you
actually we love you the best of all another thing about the tip jar people
we we've talked about the sunsetset Strip on this show before.
It's usually where Tim goes down to meet celebrities and get some of their secret tracks or interact
with them and then sing tracks to each other.
Lots of times.
It'll typically be Saturday night, and I'll just kind of cruise my way down.
Yeah, you've met The Weeknd down there.
There's been some other people.
Kanye.
Kanye, right?
Helped you out.
Sorry.
Yay.
Oh, yeah. But then also, you've had your share of foibles down there. There's been some other people. Kanye? Kanye, right? Helped you out. Sorry. Yay. But then also you've had your share of
foibles down there.
It can be rough down there.
It can be. Well, I came
to town and we said, you know what? We're all
in town. Let's go down the Sunset Strip.
Let's cruise the Strip.
We walked the whole thing
late at night. No, it wasn't late at night.
We started at 7. We got something to eat.
We went to some bars.
It was at night, okay?
Folks, don't badger us about what time we started it.
We got in the car.
We got an Uber at 7 to take us there.
Sure.
We finally got started probably at 8.
Hey, look, we got several things to eat.
We got several things to drink, too, if you know what I mean.
Folks, we rolled on some audio.
We're going to share it with you here tonight.
Yeah.
It's going to be like you're there tonight. Yeah. You're going to listen.
It's going to be like you're there with us.
We went from spot to spot.
You're going to hear it all.
And, geez, I think I had some fun.
Oh, I think I did, too.
You, too?
I had a fucking blast. I loved it because it's one of those weird things.
You live in L.A., you don't really go there because it's a little bit of a joke.
It's a little bit of a joke. It's a little bit of a joke.
It's crazy to get there
because it's like a real congested part of town.
And it's silly.
It's a lot of tourists and stuff.
It's a time capsule in a way.
There's a documentary about the whole history of it.
I forget what streamer it's on.
But you can watch and see it go from being like the 20s
to then the 60s and then the the 80s kind of
like cock rock vibe and hair metal and like it had eras that were iconic to like oh the laurel canyon
like the the the birds and joni mitchell like they were there like it had a few moments like
very few locations get to have multiple moments like that i would say the strip has three 20s 60s 80s so how fucking weird that it's that it got it was that blessed and right now it's just
sort of like very expensive real estate below giant mansions and above a expensive city but
the stupid businesses well here's the thing i know you're talking about like there's certain eras that are like a high watermark for them, like a real boom.
There's also some talk of it.
Like people are really talking about in 2021, three friends walked from the Chateau Marmont west a couple blocks and just set the town on fire.
I would say not even friends so much as business partners.
Yes, yes.
Oh, you're talking about the members of Sloppy Boys LLC.
That's correct.
I, for me, the strip, Sunset Strip is like an 80s thing.
My brain goes that hair metal.
Slash Central.
Slash, yeah.
We saw a guy who kind of looked like Slash.
Well, we'll get into that on the tapes.
Well, folks, I hope you enjoy...
That's a great read, Jeff.
Let me, as the host, bring it through.
Folks, enjoy your time here with us on the Sunset Strip.
The Handbopper's back,
and he wants you to really get a good thing going.
I've come around.
I like the Handbopper.
I'm glad the big Handbopper got it. Well, he fits
the strip. It's kind of like Wolfman Jack on a
Sunset Trip. Wolfman Jack's back. Jeff, did you
I don't think you had one. No, I don't really do this shit.
I was Wolfman Tim. You were Wolfman Tim, that's right.
Wolfman Tim on a Sunset Trip
going down the mail driving.
Check it out.
We're doing something a little unique. You probably
hear the traffic in the background
We are on the Sunset Strip
The world famous Party Alley
Yes, we're gonna cruise right down the strip
And we feel kinda hip
Yeah, we do feel kinda hip
We're standing out here in front of the Chateau Marmont
Marmont
Marmont
We're getting ready to walk right into that traffic.
That's right.
And look,
we got some billboards here.
There's a poodle
in a leather coat
in one of the billboards.
That's exciting.
Hey, I'll tell you something.
You see that McDonald's?
Yeah.
That was the parking lot
from the Joni Mitchell song
Pave Paradise
and put up a parking lot.
Really?
And furthermore,
also from the Counting Crows
cover of that song. They didn't say, wait a minute, hold on, paradise and put up a parking lot really and furthermore also from the counting crows cover
of that song they didn't say uh wait a minute hold on before we continue it's a different parking lot
but it's still the same idea it's different than joni's well and you see that uh place down there
it's called the body shop 18 and over and live nude girls girls girls how can you miss it that's a spot for nude people it's a nudist business it's a nudist
place is that where the old red rock was do you guys remember the red rock no red rock is down
the way uh we saw papa the guy from papa roach come out of there i thought he's one of you
dr dre there i saw jacoby shattucks there talk to him too whoa He took his dick out Wait who's DaCoby Shaddix Kobe Dick From Papa Roach
Oh oh oh oh
Gotcha
Well
Well let's
Let's uh
Get on the Heel Toe Express
And cruise the strip
See you on the other side
Alright as we walk west
We're walking west right
Yeah
Towards the ocean
Here we
We're passing the standard Where I once ran into Weezer guitarist Brian Bell.
At a premiere for HBO's Room 237.
Did you talk to him?
No, thanks for asking, Tim.
You know, I once saw him at Ye Rustic where we ate wings that time.
Oh, yeah. That was back when they used to bring out the wings pretty on time.
So we just walked past Cabo Cantina. You guys know what that place used to be?
No.
Source Family Vegetarian Restaurant. It was a cult.
And then they went to Maui and the guy flew a glider and broke his back and died.
And it's also the place in Annie Hall where Woody Allen is trying to drive a car
and he gets all fucked up with it.
Woody Allen is actually a bad guy, though.
Sure.
I'm seeing now across the street
there's a guy with a skateboard
who was walking by us
when we did our first little stop-down talk.
So I hope he kind of remains with us the whole night.
Yeah, running...
He's going to do an Ollie over our heads.
Maybe he's doing his own podcast with SkateSpot
on the Strip. Thrasher!
Thresh the Strip with SkateSpot Man!
See you in a bit!
Hey, we're coming at you from
Carney's Hot Dogs.
Now, Timothy, I noticed
the guy in front of you got
a cheeseburger and a Budweiser,
and you said, ooh, that's what I'm getting.
But when the chips were down, what did you end up getting?
I got a carny dog and a Budweiser, and the hot dog came out really fast, and I was like, oh.
And then the guy at the counter made a funny joke.
He said, oh, sorry about the wait, because he knew it came out fast.
That's the type of hospitality I like.
Mike, what do you think of that?
I laughed at that, too.
And at first I was like, did he say what I thought he said?
And I was like, yeah, he did, and he's great.
Did he just say what I thought?
Now, what are you eating here, Mike?
My mouth's full.
I got a double cheeseburger, and I got the chili cheese fries, which this is a small.
You know what, Mike?
You said, hey, would anybody want chili cheese fries and i said yes but i have an a uh confession to make you know what it looks gross to me it
looks gross it all chili cheese anything always looks gross to me and uh i don't go for it well
i should have rethought my order i'll order. I shouldn't have lied to you.
I'm going to fish and fry over the bottom.
It's tough to get at it.
They gave me a fork.
I mean, it's probably good, right?
Nice fry, huh?
This hamburger is so good.
There you have it, folks.
Looks gross.
Tastes great.
Okay, so we're at the Saddle Ranch.
I got a whiskey sour.
Jeff has a tequila soda.
Mike just had a fireball shot.
And now, Jeffy's going to ride himself a little mechanical bull.
Yeah, well, the manager came up and he said,
well, let me know if you want to ride the bull.
And I said, crank it to the max.
This is going to be interesting.
Do you feel a rumbly tummy from that cheeseburger?
No, I think the cheeseburger is sitting just right.
It's actually going to provide a little kneaded ballast.
Yeah, yeah.
Now, Jeff ate one normal cheeseburger.
I ate one normal hot dog.
Hanford had a double cheeseburger and chili fries.
It was really a bowl of chili.
And I remember when the chili showed up, you said, oh, this would be good to share.
And then you finished it all to the dough.
Well, no one wanted to have any.
It was delicious.
I don't think I can ride the bull, or I'm going to crap my pants.
It's going to come out both ends.
Yeah, that's right.
Maybe I can.
We'll see.
All right.
Tim, are you riding the bull?
I'm too scared.
I think they want, like, college girls to ride it, so maybe three guys in a row is maybe not what they're looking for we're gonna try with college
graduates it'll count I'm excited to see this Jeff I got faith that you're gonna
be staying up for quite a while well folks keep your eyes tuned to ESPN to
see how Jeff does on the bull ride
so how does it work is there like intensity meter or is it just like it does what it does?
Uh, yeah, so it goes up, there's a warm, you can, the uh, how hard it, how hard it like rocks and then it spins like in circles.
Uh, then it's kinda, you know, they kinda ramp it up depending like if you're holding on, they'll give you more.
We'd like this to be equal so it could be like competitive.
I got you, I could do that for you.
All right, great, great.
Give everyone kind of the classic bull ride.
Love it.
Okay, so Jeff is going to ride the mechanical bull right now.
The dude is talking him through.
Jeff, honestly, well, he looks pretty confident.
He thinks he's going to ride this thing all fucking night.
Okay, the guy's giving him a lot of pointers.
Jeff's listening real close.
This is not fair.
He's kind of getting some side coaching.
I don't like it.
This is cheating fair. He's kind of getting some side coaching. I don't like it. This is cheating.
Woo!
Yeah!
Jeffy!
Woo!
Okay, he did kind of like a high-ho, silver-o move.
Okay, we're spinning.
Clockwise.
Oh, now they're doing...
Now he's kind of bucking. okay this is it he's bucking and
gyrating and they're sharp turns jeff's doing well he's riding it he does look sexy he is gyrating
everyone in the restaurant is getting aroused 50 people are eating their dinners and jeff is
going to the side but he got back he held He almost fell, and he was able to mount.
He's got one hand up in the air.
Oh, he's falling up.
He is off.
Oh, Jefferson, off he goes.
Very well done, Jeffy boy.
And he leaves with a smile.
That hurt my nards a little bit.
Weird parts of my inner groin.
Okay, Tim is going.
Tim's getting the pep talk.
He looks good out there.
You got it, buddy.
Squeeze those legs.
Oh, there he goes.
It's starting.
Bucking him back and forth.
Here come the twists.
It's quite a lot to deal with, folks.
He's dealing with it well.
Oh, shit.
Oh, he's almost got off it.
And he's back on.
Oh, he almost got off the side, but he caught it.
Oh, and he's back on. Oh, he almost went off the side, but he caught it. Oh, and he's off.
Wow.
Okay.
Now, following me, we got Michael Hanford.
He's getting the spiel.
He looks a little nervous.
He's shaking like a leaf.
Yeah, Michael!
Mike said, come on, folks.
I said, okay, he's spinning?
He is white as a ghost.
He's bucking.
It's erotic.
He's gyrating.
He screams. And's bucking. It's erotic. He's gyrating. He screams.
And he is down.
He's getting booze here.
You did great, Michael.
You're like a rodeo boy.
He's down.
He's getting back up there.
Back on the wagon.
And now he's the underdog. Everybody likes him now.
He's rocking. He's already kind of loosey-goosey.
He's not doing much better, folks.
No, the legs are as loose as ever.
Oh, he's down again.
Oh, that took it out of me.
How do you feel, Mike?
I feel, well, my thighs hurt, but I'm winded.
I got to say, I think Jeff won.
Jeff, did you win?
Yeah, I feel like I did, but my inner thighs are, I feel like I did a lot of snapping and popping up there. As soon as I felt, oh, it's somebody's birthday.
Oh, it's a big night here.
And they lit a candle on top of a big cotton candy.
Happy birthday to you!
Woo!
That's nice, there's a table of three ladies
having a fun time.
That's a huge cotton candy i got um i felt like
when i was riding the guy told me to squeeze it with my legs so i immediately was squeezing as
hard as i could and i was like oh i think i can't handle this but like the second there was one weird
sideways jerk i was like no fucking way yeah yeah it was it was like he was kind of lulling me and then jerked it sideways.
I got off the balance.
He knows what he do.
Yeah, he knows.
Well, I did fall backwards weird on my neck.
That was fun.
How does it feel?
I feel pretty good.
I got to admit, I feel a little tweaky on my left side halfway down my back.
Maybe slipped a disc.
Well, we did sign those waivers, so I'm glad about that.
Oh, that's fine.
I can afford back surgery all on my own.
Great.
Hey, folks, we'll catch up with you on the next stop.
See you.
Okay, guys, we're passing the Viper Room where, rest in peace,
River Phoenix OD'd right there on the sidewalk.
But I believe this chase
bank didn't that used to be the hustler store what happened to the hustler store i think it's further
down oh guys this is where i rear-ended the russian real estate agent and we pulled into that
gas station and he was like oh my neck that's how i feel i've been riding that bull yeah me too
yeah maybe i'll uh get the saddle ranch to uh underwrite me in this court case that i'm facing
there's a big there's a big line out here in front of the viper we should go see who's
what all the fuss is about yeah yeah got a viper room formerly owned by john depp john depp and
it's interesting because it says r.i.p char Watts, who is in a band with Keith Richards, who was imitated by John Depp.
Thank you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Okay, Mike, you just walked up to the line of people in front of the Viper Room, and what'd you ask?
I said, hey, who's playing here tonight?
And you know what the response was?
Crickets. No one turned around, and I said anyone and buddy holly and the crickets no no no no one would uh say anything to me they were all on their phones
there's the hustler store oh the hustler store moved to the north side of street
right next to the whiskey a go-go where jim morrison and theors were the house band. Oh, come on, baby. Light my dildo.
Yeah, because the Hustard store is there.
Right, right.
Should we go goof around in the Hustard store and say, like, look at this?
I need another drink, I think.
Yeah, maybe.
Before I start goofing around.
That's fine.
We'll find another drink.
Hey, everybody.
It's Dutz.
What is up?
We are in the lair of the Hollywood vampires here at the Rainbow Room.
Rainbow Grill?
Yeah, Rainbow Grill.
Rainbow Grill.
But the Rainbow Room is in New York, in Midtown, if you want to go there.
Yeah, that's different. Don't worry about that.
Here we are at the Rainbow Grill.
And we're up in this little booth that's like a hutch above the stage.
It's a little fort house.
And you guys remember on our cocktail podcast when we talked about the Brandy Alexander,
we talked about John Lennon's Lost Weekend.
Oh, the milkshake tape.
Yeah, yeah.
The milkshake tape.
Oh, yeah, those old milkshake tapes.
He was getting drunk with Harry Nilsson and stuff like that.
During that time, they had a softball team called the Hollywood Vampires,
and then they would hang out here, and then they stopped playing softball,
and it just was a drinking club.
But there's a little sign here that says President Alice Cooper,
Vice President Keith Moon, Treasurer Bob Brown.
I don't know who that is.
Nobody does.
He's the treasurer.
Members John Lennon
Ringo Starr
Harry Nelson
Mickey Dolenz
from the Monkees
And here we are
kind of
the best musicians
to ever actually
sit at this table
Taking off the mantle
of the Hollywood Vampire
And hey
this mystery of Bob Brown
maybe the future us's
could shed a little light
on the subject
Well I'll tell you this
after those
carny dogs
I'm bobbing a little brown in the back of my teeth.
All right, folks, we'll see you in a bit.
Hey, folks, we're back with a little intermission.
Hey, wait a minute, I'm the host of this blowout.
Folks, we're back with some intermission.
Ooh.
Air visions.
You'll love it.
It's a little stop down time.
Tim, what did we find out about that gentleman we didn't know?
Well, Bob Brown from the Hollywood Vampires.
As you can imagine, guess what comes up when I Google Bob Brown?
Porn.
A ton of things because that's such an easy name.
Yes, and then I make it more focused.
Bob Brown Music?
Bobby Brown.
Bobby Brown.
Okay.
It's not that guy, though.
I kept searching, and basically there is a guy, a musician,
folky singer-songwriter, acoustic guy with long hair and a beard
named Bob Brown.
That's pretty much it.
And he's hanging out with the coolest dudes ever? Yeah, he was kind of like
an LA strummer that never
really took off like his buddies, but he was
fucking pounding cocktails
with the Beatles. He must have done something
like funny at a party, like, oh man,
Bob Brown always does a great
Nixon impression.
Yeah, it says here...
Oh, Bob Brown's got to be there or I'm not showing up.
I can't really see.
There's no quotes, but there's a lot of Google images here where he's doing.
He's kind of holding his two arms up with peace signs.
Oh, yeah.
Frowning.
Like Nixon.
Oh, is he like stepping off of like a fake airplane or something?
Yeah, it's like it looks like he made this paper mache airplane that's like really big.
So, yeah, you want to hang out with this guy because he goes all out with his impression.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
You know what pisses me off about this guy?
He sounds like a fucking rich dude who just got to hang out with celebrities because he was well connected and he wasn't bringing much to the table.
he was well connected and he wasn't bringing much to the table.
Maybe he
had like a
shareholder or something in the
Rainbow Grill. Or the opposite.
Maybe he's a pauper and
the other guys were using him to
front. They'd be like, people would see them
and be like, you rich rock stars, you're out of touch.
And they'd be like, no, we're hanging out with Bob Brown.
What about Bob Brown?
Bob doesn't have a penny to his name.
He's a loser.
He's got holes in his shoes.
Show him, Bobby.
I don't want to do that, sir.
Well, I like him again if he's a pauper.
Drink up, Bob.
That would be very fun to be the pauper
hanging out with a bunch of rock stars.
You know what's funny?
It's kind of what Lorne Michaels does.
Have you ever been the poor guy hanging out with a bunch of rich people?
Oh, yeah.
It's so funny when the bill comes,
and it's just understood that you're not even going to pretend.
Yeah.
I mean, hey, we're not poor.
We're, in fact, extremely lucrative podcasters.
Yeah, the three
chairs of Sloppy Boys LLC are
doing quite well. That's true.
I liked it.
We've become friends with
James Valentine, and when the bill comes,
he's
taking care of it. The bill doesn't even come
because when he walked to the bathroom, he went to the
hostess, and he took care of it multiple times. doesn't even come because when he walked to the bathroom, he went to the hostess.
Oh, yeah.
And he took care of it multiple times.
Yeah, because that's a good guy.
That's a good guy.
That's a classy move.
I went out to Soho House one time with Tall John Schrader.
Yeah.
Bob's Burgers writer.
Yeah.
And I was like, where's the bill?
Where's the bill?
He said, oh, I took care of it.
When I went to the bathroom, I took care of it.
He's like, we're dine and dashing, Timmy. you're a member at the soho house and you died and died we gotta go
here's here's something we kind of breezed over is the chateau
marmont what about it tim how do you pronounce that chateau marmont i'm american so i say
marmont mike you nailed it chateau marmont but i think Mike, you nailed it. Chateau Marmont. But I think in the intro, I was like Chateau Marmont.
I didn't know what to say.
Marmont.
That's correct, too.
I wanted to share that John Belushi died there in Bungalow, too.
Oh.
Lorne Michaels had his 30th birthday there.
Doug Kenny lived there when he was 30.
So I, on my 30th birthday, we were writing The Birthday Boys at the time.
Sure. Went and stayed there
fucking garden cottage
nice
lived it up
classy guy, huh?
totally alive the whole time
did you come in with any good ideas?
like, oh my god
there's comedy in the walls over there
like, oh, I got this new idea for a contemporary family.
I started off while doing a cocaine bomb.
I was walking around there being like, keeping the, keeping the, keeping the beats.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
Keeping them.
I'm going to go away for the weekend.
I'll say this about, go ahead, Tim.
You look like you got something on your mind.
Yeah, this is good.
Are either of you Father John Misty fans? I know he's a polarizing figure. I'll say this about, go ahead, Tim. You look like you got something on your mind. Yeah, this is good.
Are either of you Father John Misty fans?
I know he's a polarizing figure.
I do like him, but I know a few songs in the ones I do,
like writing a novel I like.
Do you know the song Chateau Lobby?
No.
Number two or whatever.
She eats bread and butter like a queen would eat goose.
Anyway, he's talking about the Chateau in the titular song is Chateau Marmont.
And that's where he met his girlfriend.
Who was in the lobby at that hotel. She was eating water?
Well, Tim, can I even say if I like him or not?
Yeah, you can even say, yeah.
Here's the thing, my thing with him.
I first became
aware of him on Master of None.
When?
Because at one point, Dev is
like, I have tickets to the new
Father John Misty show, come with me.
And I was like, okay, here's this guy, he's
probably like a cool, hip New York guy.
And then somebody told me like, oh, this guy's in the
Fleet Foxes. And I was like, like oh i like those fleet foxes but then the more i got to know about this guy
right he seems to me like like the the banksy of music yeah where like he's take he's doing sort of
like poppy folky stuff but then he's making you
think about the institutions that are around you like the modern things there you go and i feel
like the same way that banksy is is like have you ever considered that oil is bad like that's what
father john misty also does wait so you don't you do or don't like do you like banksy
no i i roll my eyes a little bit sure and uh it was father john misty same deal i was just like
this must be really profound for the dumb not for i i have to interject and say you're you're it's
fine with you hating him he's uh he's a divisive guy and he's trolly so so for the dumb i i take
issue with because it's almost like there's so much context he's almost like a rapper where it's
like it's so referencey and it's so reactionary that it's dense and i don't think that his fans
are dumb i think that they're pretentious and that he is pretentious but dumb is like you know
yeah that's what that's ed sheeran yeah yeah and by the way speaking of pretentious this is coming
from me a guy who doesn't want to give him enough time to even make my own decision about him
i've already somebody says he's bad i think he's bad he's like an la staple though right he's not a new york guy
right la i mean he he played he was basically just like a fill-in drummer for fleet foxes in seattle
came down to la he's a singer songwriter he likes to push buttons and he likes to give douchey
interviews and it's all part of the performance of what does it mean to be an artist these days but um i'm a fan i
the song total entertainment forever is one of my you've mentioned this was it on a pod or was it in
real life that you said both that was like yeah yeah yeah yeah he he reminds me of why i love
randy newman or or warren zeevon you know it it's, it's, he's in character and there's, or, I mean,
Hey, we, we all love Alex Cameron, right?
Love it.
And, and Alex Cameron is my fave, but, but it's hard to describe Alex Cameron to a non
believer, believer, but I'll say this about father John Misty.
I, I could defend him to you, but then also, you know, I see him around Los Feliz driving around in a vintage truck.
And then I saw him at ye rustic and he was wearing sunglasses inside a dark
bar.
So,
you know,
uh,
yeah,
there's something going on.
Well,
what happens to me a lot?
I'll say this.
I will leave the house with my prescription sunglasses and walk into a
place.
Dark prescription glasses are better than no glasses at all. So he might walk into a place. Dark prescription glasses
are better than no glasses at all.
So he might have had a prescription.
Prescription sunglasses.
That's the word I say.
Folks, let's get back to the recordings, eh?
Yeah.
I shouldn't be saying that.
Mike, you should be saying that.
You're not the host.
Hold on a second.
Let's get the big hand bopper out here.
He's going to take us back to the Sunset Strip.
I'm hanging out with...
Enjoy the clips.
That's right.
And Jeffy.
Okay, goodbye.
I don't think we've established Jeffy's character yet.
Not yet.
Not yet, we haven't.
Not yet, we have not.
It's a little...
That's good.
Okay, we're walking on Sunset and Doheny.
Do you guys know who had her famous hit and run here?
You.
Halle Berry.
A lot of people getting a lot of glamorous car accidents on this trip.
Yeah, sure, sure.
A lot of iconic, good-looking people.
Yeah, have you noticed that everyone who hits someone else with their car here, they all have the look. Yeah, sure. A lot of iconic, good-looking people. Yeah, have you noticed that everyone who hits someone else with their car here, they all have the look.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That it factor.
There's a certain style.
There's a certain dangerous streak in it.
Kind of a femme fatale vibe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wasn't this, like, Frankie and Johnny's Pizza?
I think that was back that way, but I remember going to Frankie and Johnny's once,
and we ordered pizza, and I think we fucked it up, or we made somebody mad by, like,
not ordering correctly.
Something like that.
But anyway, folks, it feels like we've hit the end of the strip.
It kind of is.
We're looking at Leonardo DiCaprio's office building.
He's waving to us now.
Hi, Leo!
And then there's Soho House, where we met Tom Cruise.
Yeah.
Right?
Right? And it's kind of... That's not Soho. That's Soho House down there. Hi, Leo. And then there's Soho House where we met Tom Cruise. Yeah. Right. Right.
And it's kind of.
That's not Soho.
That's Soho House down there.
No.
At the top of that.
I think it's this.
Right there.
I think he's right.
That's the top of that.
Oh, you're right.
That's where we met Tom.
This is good podcasting, by the way.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, can you guys see that?
It's great.
I want all you Patrons to come out here sometime.
We'll do an event we'll have a
big sunset strip crawl with all the patrons yeah wouldn't that be fun take over this whole and as
for tonight we're gonna double back and see if there's any hot spots we missed yeah yeah i will
say my favorite spot of the night so far has been rainbow room me too that was cool we got the
historic table and let's be honest best people watching in the night we were walking to the rainbow grill and we saw a young guy but maybe 24 25 yeah and he was dressed like slash yeah he got no sleeves
he had chains on his leather pants too my god and muscles and also some uh some young folks
showing up saying hey where's jam night and the staff saying upstairs baby, baby. That's good. That's good to see.
Yeah.
Hey, where are you guys headed?
Rainbow.
Yeah, Gem Night.
Right on.
Awesome.
How about that?
If I have company over,
and I want to be like, hey, I'm not a vanilla guy.
I have some things.
What are some things that I could have that are like hey a visitor could have some fun with this and they wouldn't feel freaked out like
this has been inside another person or something ah i see ah i mean i guess you could do like
furniture or like ropes and stuff but if you mean like toys uh a bullet is definitely the way to go
all these guys right here are going to be about $30.
Essentially just tiny little vibrators.
They're meant to be used on the clitoris as opposed to internally.
Right on.
Yeah.
I was also honestly looking at, like, I'm just trying to get a full lay of the land.
Sure.
These whippy things, and there are some, like, tickly feathery things over here.
Those are cool too.
Are you looking for like a beginner one?
Yes.
Sure.
Okay.
So you can do this one right here.
This one is really soft.
Cool.
What's like a pro one?
A pro one is definitely going to be this one right here.
This one is made out of silicone.
So it doesn't have like, if you want to try it on your hands, you can.
It hurts.
Ah.
Quite a bit. So that one is a little to try it on your hands, you can. It hurts. Ah! Quite a bit.
So that one is a little bit more intense as well as the wooden ones.
So it just gives a more intense impact.
But essentially anything that's going to be like really soft,
if you want to do something like a flogger, that's going to be really easy.
Or you can do this one, which is kind of like two in one.
So if you do this smaller side right here, you get that like really loud sound without actually having the pain
But if you use the other side, there's a little bit more of a slap. Interesting. Yeah, sounds a little bit more versatile
And people like this one as well. It doesn't hurt at all, but it's cute. That is cute.
Man, this is very helpful, thank you. Yeah.
All right.
Now who wants a slap?
Let me try it out.
No, I'm doing it.
Hold on. Mike, I'm gonna get ya
Yeah I got ya
Right?
It's on my phone
Here we go
It's on my phone
Oh it's not on
Alright here's
The other cheek
Ready?
Well that's my wallet
And Tim you're up
That's pretty good
Pretty good
Get me out of my wallet
So I did
Ooh
That one had a snap to it.
See, this is going to come in handy.
Well, thanks a lot. I came in my shirt.
Okay, we're at Joe's Pizza.
One bite, everybody knows the rules.
7-3.
A lot.
A lot of 10?
Mine's too hot to bite.
Mmm.
Barbecue chicken pizza.
It's a 5.
And me?
Well, I didn't get anything to eat,
so I can't rate it.
Oh, Michael.
No.
He had too much Chili Bowl.
Too much Chili Bowl.
Wow.
Hey, guys.
It's Tim.
It's the next morning.
I'm at home.
I'm actually in my bathroom.
And I just want to say, you know, thanks for bearing with Mike and Jeff on this episode.
I know they're not the coolest guys in the world.
Um, not exactly who you would want to be cruising the sunset strip with, but, um, I promise
you, you know, they're, they're, they've got warm hearts and, um, you know, they're cool
with me.
So I hope that you will, um, take my, that vouch and, uh, cut them some slack.
I really appreciate it.
Thank you.
And now I've got to go get a massage
because that bull really kind of tweaked my back.
So Seacrest out.
Well, all right.
Whoa, wait, we're back.
I kind of sort of fell asleep there because I'd lived it
and now it was putting me to bed.
Yeah, yeah.
That's it, folks.
That was the Sunset Strip Crawl.
Now, you heard us say we want you to come with us next time.
We're going to do a whole Sloppy Boys crawl.
Live experience.
Live experience.
Like a Weezer tour, but more expensive.
Yeah.
And then, Tim, thanks for getting the word out to bear with me and Jeff.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
And I vouch for you guys.
Like, I got your back.
You are my boys.
And I would trust this guy.
I would listen to him.
He's got a great opinion on people.
So just bear with us as Jeff and I stumble through trying to be cool.
And I'm happy to report my massage was a success.
Perfect.
This, you know, I went to a Thai spa where they walk on your back.
No shit.
But also this lady, she had some real sharp elbows and did a lot of poking.
It was miserable for 90 minutes, but it worked.
Well, you said like you thought your disc was slipped out.
She slipped it back.
Wow.
She touched me right away.
When I fell off that bull,
I did fall like on the top of the back of my neck,
like a little backwards.
And my weight was like sort of,
I looked like a shrimp.
I looked like a shrimp cocktail the way I fell off. Because me and Mike started preparing some cocktail sauce.
It fucking sucked.
And then also I noticed like tiny little giblet muscles
just outside my scrotum in the sides of my legs.
We're acting up for a good day or two.
Yeah, I have bruises on my thighs from gripping the bull.
Because the guy tells you when you get on that bull, hey, the key here is to grip your thighs on that bull.
But then when it gets to twisting and turning, it hurts.
Well, you know what?
We don't have a quiz
or anything here,
but Jeff, you won the bull ride.
Yeah, congratulations.
Congrats.
You stayed on longest.
I fell off twice.
Thanks, guys.
I fell off so quickly,
he was like,
go back on.
It doesn't count.
Oh, yeah.
Hey, we got to put
those videos up.
Yeah, we got some good videos
on this.
You know what?
We'll tweet them.
They'll go viral
and then we'll get clout.
Yes.
Just tweet them
and forget them and let the likes pile up.
Spoken like a real bopper.
Like a real hand bopper.
All right, folks.
Thanks for joining us here on the P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Patreon.
It's always blown.
We're going to really put this thing to bed here with Tim and Jeff.
Say goodnight, guys.
We'll see you next week.
This is Wolfman Tim signing off. Wolfman Tim. Love to hear him. Jeff, who's your character going to really put this thing to bed here with Tim and Jeff. Say goodnight, guys. We'll see you next week. This is Wolfman Tim signing off.
Wolfman Tim.
Love to hear him.
Jeff, who's your character going to be?
Good night.
All right.
Oh, man, what a disappointment.
Pull it, Elisa Simpson.
Good night, everyone.
Goodbye.