The Weekly Planet - 47 Best/Worst Action Films & The Expendables 3
Episode Date: August 18, 2014This week we discuss some good Transformers news, Aquaman, Star Wars stories galore, Ben Hur, Ant-man, Power Rangers and more!Plus we break down The Expendables 3 and the best and worst action films o...f some of its stars. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Welcome back, everybody, to butthole The Weekly Planet, The Weekly Planet Welcome back everybody to another episode of the Weekly Planet,
official podcast of comicbookmovie.com.
My name is James, editor at that website.
With me as always, my co-host, Nick Mason.
We're going to do a podcast.
You crazy son of a bitch.
I've known you for a lot of years, man.
We've been through some tough times together.
But you, this is just crazy enough to work. I'm sorry, I'm a bit ramped up because of the crazy camaraderie and action of the
expendables absolutely you crazy son of a bitch they sold that didn't they that relationship
they seem like lifelong friends absolutely yeah we'll get to that why will we can we
briefly talk about like we don't need to go right into it do we like for a long time no absolutely not
because I know people don't want to hear about the Expendables
I've got a few emails
just like just don't
don't talk about it
look we have to
this is the topic for the week
that's right
well
there's a loom in your house
and it shakes about
it's a mystical loom
and then it spits out a card
and it tells us
what we have to talk about every week
and if we don't
we're both killed in horrible accidents.
You crazy son of a bitch.
All right.
Sad news to start off with, Mason.
The Expendables 3 is out.
We have to watch it.
Now, what's the actual sad news?
Robin Williams died.
He did die, yeah.
Which sucks.
And a lot of celebrities have died recently.
Like a lot of beloved celebrities.
This one...
Not comparatively.
No.
Yeah.
The outpouring of grief, I think, is probably...
Yeah.
It took over...
Like everybody in my Facebook feed, everybody in my Twitter feed, just very sad.
Absolutely.
And why wouldn't...
Like every...
There's no...
Like at no point has anybody ever...
You know, there's a story where I ran into Robin Williams and he was a real dick.
Yeah.
It's always like... He really Dave he was a real dick. Yeah. It's always like...
He really Dave Coulier'd the situation.
Yeah.
It's always like, I was feeling really down and I ran into Robin Williams and he saw I
was sad and he cheered me up.
There's like a thousand stories.
Not because he's famous, but because he just wanted to cheer somebody up.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Every story's like, and he's the best guy.
Yeah.
And then he ran into the night.
Right.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Every story. So it really, really sucks. Yeah. Rest in peace, Robin Williams. Yeah, man. And then he ran into the night. Exactly, yeah. Every story.
So it really, really sucks.
Yeah, rest in peace,
Robin Williams.
Yeah, man.
What's your favourite
Robin Williams performance?
Wow, you brought up
a good one before the show.
I know it's kind of cliche,
but Good Will Hunting
is great.
And my most recent one
is probably,
and it's quite morbid
given the circumstances,
it's the episode of Louis
where Louis runs into
Robin Williams
at the funeral of a guy.
Yeah, and he's playing himself. Yeah, and they're the only two people at the funeral because it's a guy nobody likes yeah and they realize later that he was actually
beloved by you know the women at his strip club and stuff like that but then at the end they make
a vow that they will each go to the other guy's funeral whoever dies first yeah yeah yeah really
good episode one of the best, man. Mm-hmm.
That sucks he's dead.
Yes.
It's weird.
It's like a, it was a massive part of our childhood as well.
I mean, I don't want to bang on about this.
Mm-hmm.
Because everybody has banged.
Yes. You know, but, yeah, like the 90s, like he was like a weird kind of surrogate dad for
like everybody our age, you know?
You're right.
That's.
But yeah, like you said, rest in peace, Robin Williams.
Mm-hmm.
You'll be missed.
I missed. All right, Mason, we've got more Robin Williams. You'll be missed. I missed.
All right, Mason, we've got more sad news.
Yes.
Not as sad.
Okay.
No, this is good news.
Oh, good.
You were so overwhelmed by sadness just then, you couldn't distinguish anymore.
I mean, this good news certainly does not outweigh the bad, not even by a fraction.
But Michael Bay, it seems, is stepping down from the Transformers franchise to pass on
the director's reigns to somebody who's probably not that good either.
Great.
Like a Jonathan Leibnizman.
Oh, Leibnizman.
Ninja Turtles.
Yeah, fantastic.
We don't know if that's bad yet or not.
No.
I mean, all word on the street is that it's fine.
Yeah.
We haven't seen it yet.
It's got a really...
Like, we talked about this last week.
It's got a really low Rotten Tomatoes, but a lot I'm hearing is just like, yeah, it's
fine.
Yeah, exactly. So, you know. We'll talk about that hearing is just like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, exactly.
So, you know, we'll talk about that on September 11th, Mason.
Fantastic.
And that comes out here.
I'm probably going to forget that.
I mean, you keep reminding me to never forget about the release of Ninja Turtles on September 11th, but I keep forgetting.
Sorry.
That's okay.
Well, hey, have you heard any word of the Inhumans movie?
No.
It seems like the Inhumans movie is moving forward.
Okay.
Well, Marvel have been talking about it for a while. Well that makes sense because i mean a couple of weeks ago we talked
about the new avengers roster in the comic books yeah and medusa's in that and inferno is in there
they're both in humans so maybe they're they're pushing them in the comics absolutely yeah okay
absolutely so vin diesel has teased it before on facebook black bolt yeah i thought so because it
says uh i get the strange feeling that marvel thinks i'm inhuman so i get it he probably thinks that's subtle it's not yeah at all look at 140 characters
you don't really have a lot of room to be subtle it is on facebook though oh you've got as much
room as you want oh then then wow yeah but but all but apparently there was an interview a while
back or a rumor that he was up for this role,
but it wasn't coming to like 2017, 2018.
And Kevin Feige was like, look, we've got a role to tide you over until then.
So that must have been Groot.
Yes, okay.
And Black Bolt doesn't talk.
So, you know, you could...
You won't be like, Groot and Black Bolt have the same voice.
How dare they?
You're right.
Black Bolt doesn't talk at all.
So, yeah.
It's penned by Joel Robert Cole, who I don't know much about,
and they're gearing up to find a director.
So, very exciting.
Now that The Guardians is out and a success,
they're going to do a whole lot of left-of-centre stuff, which is good.
By that you mean in space?
Yes.
Great.
In space, and not only that,
but not having to rely on paying Robert Downey Jr. $100 million every time he does something.
That's true, yeah.
So, yeah.
Who do you think, do you feel that they're angling for somebody to be the new Robert Downey Jr.?
Yeah, sure.
Is it Chris Pratt?
I'd say it's Chris Pratt, yeah.
Okay, right, right, right.
Okay.
I mean, eventually he'd have to.
Oh, they'd probably be smart where they'd give him the contract at the start, which stays like a relatively reasonable salary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because Robert Downey Jr. was the first on board, so he has the best salary.
Yes.
Yeah.
Does he have one of those weird trick loophole salaries like Harrison Ford did for the Star
Wars films?
Where like he gets a percentage or he can get it?
He gets a percentage of the gross or whatever it is.
Because he got a percentage of Iron Man 3 and the Avengers.
Yeah, yeah.
And it was like...
I think Iron Man 3 earned like $50 million or something.
Yeah, exactly, yeah.
Something like that.
I'm not sure exactly, but it's something ridiculous.
You've got to be very careful there.
Because if you get a percentage of the gross, that's massive.
But if you get a...
Is it...
Maybe it's David Prowse.
It is David Prowse.
Who's like, you'll get a percentage, but it's a percentage of the net after we take away
costs or whatever.
Marketing and whatever.
And so they've done weird tax trickery for the past several decades.
So they're like, we've been run at a loss.
Sorry, man.
Sorry, Prowse.
Look, we just...
We're real Prowse of your work.
Yeah, but...
That's good.
Thank you.
So look, we haven't made any money on these Star Wars films technically, so we can't pay
you anything.
That's a shame.
But if we do make any money, we'll keep you approused of the situation.
So yeah, that's exciting, I guess.
Yeah, definitely.
David Prowse not earning any money and the Inhumans.
Both those things.
Great news.
Two competing Aquaman squips.
Two competing Aquaman squids?
Yes.
That's the plot of the first Aquaman film.
Two competing squids.
Competing for his affections.
They're in a running race.
Okay, there are two scripts.
Yeah, one is by...
Are they both by two people I've never heard of?
I can give you the work that they've done, so that will help.
But basically, the best one will become the Aquaman movie.
That is the rumor. That's not true, though. It might be the worst one becomes. done, so that will help. But basically, the best one will become the Aquaman movie. That is the rumor.
That's not true, though.
It might be the worst one becomes.
Oh, right.
Who's to know, right?
So you're not doubting the rumor, you're doubting the best one.
Yes.
Okay, that makes sense.
Will Beale is doing one.
He did Gangster Squad.
Remember that really well-cast movie that nobody saw?
Yeah, I remember that.
Was Shia LaBeouf in that one?
Was that?
I don't think he was.
There were two gangster films.
Yeah, there was another one.
I know what you're talking about. Maybeouf in that one? Was that... I don't think he was. There were two gangster films. Yeah, there was another one. I know what you're talking...
Maybe he was in that one.
That one had, like, Josh Brolin and Sean Penn in weird makeup.
Right.
Weird prosthetics.
Prosthetics.
And Ryan Gooseling.
All of these guys.
And the other one is Kurt Johnstead of 300.
Rise of an Empire.
Oh.
Okay, great.
Yeah.
Are you cool with that?
Yeah, fine.
Whatever.
Again, like 300, it wasn't great.
It was, in fact, bad, but it was oddly progressive.
Some of it was fine.
Yeah.
Had that weird sex scene.
Yeah, great.
So, yeah.
Gangster Squad had Sean Penn and Ryan Gosling in it.
Yeah.
The Goose.
Yeah, all right.
And Josh Brolin?
Giovanni Ribisi. That's who you're thinking of.
He's good.
Yeah.
Are you thinking of Holt McCallany?
I am.
Yeah.
Oh no, Josh Brolin is in it.
Alright.
I did it.
You did it.
Alright.
Star Wars Mason.
Is there Star Wars Mason?
You know there is.
Yeah, I know there is.
I can give you a bit of a plot synopsis, minor spoilers if this turns out to be true, Mason,
for you, so just cover your ears. I'll my ears continue search for luke skywalker okay so basically
if you heard the rumor that the movie starts with on tatooine or a planet where luke skywalker's
severed hand clutching a lightsaber burns through the atmosphere and they find it and they're like
what's this no i've not heard that for lu Skywalker? No. I hope that's not true.
Yeah.
How did it get through the atmosphere?
It's metal.
Metal.
No, but it's his hand from Empire Strikes Back, right?
Yeah, good point.
Well, it might be his other hand.
Maybe his robot hand. He's lost another hand.
Yeah, maybe.
Okay, sure.
He was on a spaceship and something went down the garbage disposal.
He dropped his lightsaber down the garbage disposal.
Like, oh, I'll get that.
Nothing can happen with my metal hand.
And then...
You're right.
And then the search is on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now that sounds real dumb.
So, yeah.
Well, it might not be true.
But then Daisy Ridley and John Boyega, they go after him.
And apparently John Boyega might be a Stormtrooper.
You saw that concept art of the Stormtrooper helmet?
Yeah, it's more...
It's more streamlined.
It's still kind of retro, but still kind of...
It's clearly identifiable as a stormtrooper helmet.
It's like how cars from the 70s,
the modern day cars are much more streamlined
than cars from the 70s.
Very good point.
It's exactly like that.
So, hang on.
So where is the arm landing?
I think it's Tatooine or another desert-ish kind of planet.
Yeah.
The Sahara Desert.
All right.
Okay.
I mean, this is a rumor, but you know at the start of every Star Wars movie, all the good
Star Wars movies, which is all of them, no exception.
Okay, fine.
If it'll get this done quicker, continue.
There's a giant ship that flies overhead.
Yep.
And that starts it off.
Uh-huh.
The hand is going to start it off.
Wow.
That sounds to me a lot like, do you remember the start of, I think most of the Indiana Jones movies, it starts with the Paramount logo, then it fades to like a real mountain.
Yep.
But in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Paramount logo fades to a molehill.
Oh yeah, that's right.
Yeah, I do.
Yeah.
Okay.
I mean, not to draw that comparison, because that is unfair.
What is it?
But, hey, you saw also the Han Solo concept art for his new digs?
Yeah.
He's got his sweet winter wear.
He's got a little fur-lined hood, yeah.
It's very much like the one from...
Hoth.
Hoth, yeah, yeah.
And the other one with the long trench coat.
More Jedi-ish.
Yeah.
That coat one I've seen as concept art or fan art from a few years ago
which is very close to that.
Okay.
So I'm not saying they stole it
but he also wore a coat.
A case could be made
is what you're saying.
He also wore a coat
in Return of the Jedi.
Look, he's worn all sorts
of coats and vests.
Don't nail him down
to a particular aesthetic.
I want to talk about clothes
as well when we get
to the Expendables.
Me too.
Actually, me too.
Now that you mention it,
I hadn't written it down,
but boy, do I.
Okay, good.
Yes.
There's one scene.
There's one sequence in it.
Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
Yeah, boy, I like...
That was my favourite bit.
Also, so Han Solo and Chewbacca
will be piloting like a big kind of
Imperial-style ship.
Mm-hmm.
And another guy called, you know,
Oscar Isaacs, the actor?
Yes.
He's got the Millennium Falcon
for whatever reason. Okay. And he's kind of like the lando except not black but he has a cape so he is like
lando exactly yeah there's also we saw pictures of the uh the new in the villain the inquisitor
we saw a picture a blurry picture in the dark he's holding the broken darth vader helmet yeah okay
which is cool i guess hey this just fell out of space. What do I do with it?
Quest?
Yep.
So they're like a Sith task force.
There's an Inquisitor in the Star Wars Rebels series.
Yep, uh-huh.
And they're kind of like, I don't know, they're kind of the errand boys for the Sith.
Right.
But the story is... But they don't have Sith power.
No, they've got a little bit.
So yeah, enough.
Okay, sure.
They could, you know, burn out someone's eyes or whatever.
Okay.
And the story is that Luke Skywalker's been missing for like 30 years
because they captured him after Return of the Jedi
and had just been holding him hostage.
Interesting, okay.
For 30 years, so yeah.
Do you reckon he'd be cool with that or do you reckon he'd be grizzled?
Probably uncool with that.
Yeah.
That is an interesting way to erase all the expanded universe.
Yeah.
To be like, you know, what he was doing for the last 30 years,
doing this and marrying this woman
and falling in love and having these kids
and starting this Jedi Academy
and doing all this stuff.
You know what he's doing?
Nothing.
He's in like a six foot by six foot cell.
Without a hand.
Yeah, without no hand.
So, yeah.
So, that's interesting, I guess.
That's a kick in the balls, I think.
Boy, is it.
Yeah.
Everyone who wrote one of those books.
He was like, I've done it.
I did it.
And then he didn't do it. Well, he did still do it, but then he was... So, this is rumor? This is rumor. Okay, right. Yeah, it. Yeah. Everyone who wrote one of those books. He was like, I've done it. I did it. And then he didn't do it.
Well, he did still do it, but then he was...
So, this is rumor?
This is rumor.
Okay, right.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Everyone's not going to be happy about that.
No.
And also...
Who will they be?
Maybe it'll be good.
I should probably stop being so negative about this.
If this is true...
I mean...
At least it's different.
Four out of those six movies are terrible, but...
At least...
At least it's different, I guess.
Yes, okay, yeah. You know you know also because the inquisitors
kind of work for darth vader or whatever as i mentioned there's one in star wars rebels it
might be the same guy it probably isn't that there's going to be flashbacks with darth vader
okay which is a good way to bring him back in if you want to bring back in and billy lord who's
uh carrie fisher's daughter will be playing young princess leia that is the rumor there you go okay
so yeah is there any resemblance i'll look it up and i'll tell you in a second but let's talk in Carrie Fisher's daughter will be playing young Princess Leia. That is the rumour. There you go, okay. So, yeah.
Is there any resemblance?
I'll look it up and I'll tell you in a second.
But let's talk in the meantime.
They look enough like each other. Okay, great.
It doesn't matter.
No, you're right, it doesn't.
Yeah, yeah.
And we'll do weird CG ID aging, it'll be fine.
Exactly.
Everybody's favourite FX effect.
Remember the show FX with one of the daddos?
And Brian Brown, yes.
Brian Brown.
Was that the movie and then there was a spin-off TV show?
Yes, absolutely.
He used special effects to fight crime, correct. Yes, I did. Brian Brown. Was that the movie and then there was a spin-off TV show? Yes, absolutely. That was.
He used special effects to fight crime, correct?
Yes, he did.
Yes.
Prosthetics, robot arms, all sorts.
Cars that flip?
I don't think there was a budget for cars that flipped.
Fantastic.
It was, wasn't it?
You got the old picture?
No.
No, I don't.
I think I misspelled it.
L-O-U-R-D.
The water went down the wrong way.
Billy Lauder?
It's down the wrong way.
No, I get it.
Why aren't you helping me?
Well, what can I do?
Hey, good point.
What I...
I mean, there's a stomach pump
just there, but...
I don't know how it works.
It's yours.
L-O-U-R-D, yeah.
B-E-L-L-I-E.
L-O-U-R-D.
Oh, okay. Something Carrie Fisher's daughter. We'll just... I won't. I will not. it's yours L-O-U-R-D yeah B-E-L-L-I-E L-O-U-R-D okay
something Carrie Fisher's daughter
we'll just
I won't
I will not
don't tell me what to do
oh yeah she looks
close enough
she's a human female
she looks like a girl
yeah
so that's fine
all those things
that was worth
dicking around on the internet
for a second
sure was
yeah so
we like Star Wars
don't we
yeah
and boy are we looking forward to it.
But not as much as we're looking forward to this, Mason.
I'm ready.
Bad Boys 3 is still in the pipeline.
Right.
Martin Lawrence, he says it's real.
They're working on the script.
It's getting close and it all looks good.
I don't think it would look good, but I believe the rest of the things that he said.
Yeah.
I know a lot of people like Bad Boys 2.
It's not very good, is it? No. Do a lot of people like... A lot of people like Bad Boys 2. It's not very good,
is it?
No,
do a lot of people like,
a lot of people like
Bad Boys 1.
I quite like Bad Boys 1.
In my,
in the 90s.
Yeah,
I don't think I've ever seen it.
Wow.
But in the,
in my Expendables review,
I was like,
what's your,
what's your favourite action movie?
I think somebody said
Bad Boys 2.
Okay.
So yeah,
people like,
look,
it's got some good action sequences.
There's a sequence
they're both in the house
and people are shooting at them. Yep. And they're like, sequence where we're both in the house and people are shooting at him.
They're like, how do we get out of this house?
People are shooting at us.
And there's the bits where Will Smith's character is really cool all the time
and never gets a comeuppance for being cool.
And rich.
And rich.
And then Mark Lawrence is just a real dumb jerk the whole time
and he never gets redeemed anyway.
And Will Smith dates his daughter?
Probably, yeah.
Is that that one?
Yeah, maybe.
No, maybe that's not true.
But now it's got to the point
where they're both kind of the old...
Because Will Smith was the young and cool guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Not anymore, though.
No.
You need to get in your Jaden Smiths.
Oh, absolutely.
Definitely, yeah.
We'll do that.
Did you know...
You know how...
Well, you haven't seen the first one,
but Bad Boys 1 and 2 both open
with like a plane flying by
over the big Miami sign,
like the big Hollywood-esque.
Okay.
No, I didn't know that.
There's no Miami sign.
It doesn't really exist.
It was just made up.
It was just built for those movies.
And there's another film as well that opens with it.
Same universe.
Yeah, maybe.
I guess so.
Is it Soldier with Kurt Russell?
Yeah, it's Soldier with Kurt Russell, yeah.
Which also intersects with...
Space Miami.
Yes.
But, yeah, so I guess there's no way to show
that somebody is in Miami
except to have a big sign
that says Miami.
What is a big,
like,
Miami,
I don't know.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I mean,
I'm sure people from Miami
would be like,
it's this thing or whatever.
Right, right, right.
But like,
like what's a Mel-
Maybe it's like a signature dish.
So they should just open it
like a street vendor.
Like, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And Maybe it's like a signature dish So they should just open it Like a street vendor Like Bam bam bam bam bam bam
And then it's just like
Zooming in and out
On like a
Like a big dish
Or some sort of
Stew on the street
Like a stew
Like a
Like I don't know
Like an ocean kind of stew
I mean it's on the water isn't it
Yeah definitely
Yeah
What's a Melbourne kind of thing
That you could be like
Bam bam bam bam bam
Um
Just those pie shops That are open 24 hours a day.
Just open on one of those.
I think they're everywhere, though.
Yeah.
I think they got them in London.
The Yarra River.
That brown river.
Yeah, that really gross river.
That's everywhere that all the roads intersect with.
Yes.
Oh, you want a famous landmark.
Yeah.
Ah, of Melbourne.
Flinders Street Station?
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
Shops that look like
they're from Europe.
Yeah, okay, good.
But they're staffed
by disaffected
hipster youth.
Yes.
Yeah, okay, good.
Alright, we've nailed it.
That's what it's going
to open on.
Bam, bam, bam, ba-bam.
What do you want?
Bam, bam, bam, ba-bam.
Yeah.
That's dead on.
Timur Bekmanbatov
is he the guy
that did Wanted
yes and he's also
the guy
nailed it
I got one
he did
also Nightwatch Daywatch
those weird Russian movies
about the guy
who doesn't turn into a bear
even though his name's
The Bear
and he always talks about
how he can turn into a bear
and at no point
of those four hours
does he ever turn into a bear
you're right
yeah
they're based on a book series.
Are they?
I don't think he turns into a bear in those either.
You've read them?
No.
They're in Russian.
Good point.
Yeah.
And I'm so busy.
Always rushing around.
Nice work.
Thank you.
I'm sure I've used that before.
I'm sure.
Every time anything Russian is mentioned.
There's a good way to get people with, like, Russian food.
Be like, it's hard to eat Russian food.
It's hard to find it.
It's always Russian or real.
Great.
Yeah.
I used that on a date once.
How'd that go?
We're not together.
Right, yeah.
Ben-Hur.
He's doing a remake of Ben-Hur.
Okay.
Did you see the original Ben-Hur?
Not all of it.
It's mostly known for people dying horrifically in that chariot race.
Yeah.
And at one point, isn't there, like like a red convertible that zooms by?
Oh, yeah, there is too.
And Charlton Heston's wearing a wristwatch.
But I don't think that's a mistake.
I think he's just like, I'm not taking it off.
Yeah, yeah, I'm Charlton Heston.
I don't do accents.
I shout and I wear a wristwatch.
I want to know what the time is.
Don't move my car.
Yeah.
It's that red convertible.
In fact, actually, it needs a bit of a spin.
So if you could just get it going during the chariot race, that'd be fine.
It'd be like, look, I need to play golf at like four o'clock.
So I'm not taking this watch off because I need to know what time it is.
I'm leaving at 3.50.
I don't trust anybody to tell me it's four o'clock.
Yeah.
But it's known just for that chariot race, pretty much.
Yeah, there's that.
Yeah, pretty much.
So I feel they're damned if they do
and they're damned
if they don't
because you can't
even if you look
at that chariot race
now and it's not
that impressive
then
I remember seeing it
when I was 14
and being impressed
okay well there you go
and 14 year olds
are not impressed
by a lot
so okay maybe
it's pretty good
but there's no way
you can beat that
no
not with CG
unless you really did it
unless you really did it
and people really died again
yeah totally so yeah how about this for a leading man we should do an episode on famous No. Not with CG. Unless you really did it. Unless you really did it. And people really died again. Yeah.
Totally.
So, yeah.
How about this for a leading man?
We should do an episode on famous horrific accidental deaths.
Let's not do that.
There's a lot.
Yeah.
We could really do it at...
That's tempting, actually.
No, let's not.
We'll put it on the back burner.
Okay, cool.
We'll put it on the back burner.
Yeah.
Transformers 3.
Oh, actually, talking about odd stuff.
Have you seen that?
It's a picture of Downton Abbey.
And there's like a water bottle sitting... It's like's a picture of Downton Abbey And there's like
A water bottle sitting
It's like the two people
From Downton Abbey
At their mantelpiece
And there's just like a
Like a bottle of water
Sitting on the mantelpiece
It's like a
Like a plastic
Recycling bottle
Yeah yeah yeah
Never seen that show either
It's okay
There's a lot of dramas
Have you seen the Australian version
It's called
A Place to Call Home
I've not seen that
Why would I not seen that.
Why would I have seen that?
Good point.
Leading man, though, Tom Hiddleston.
Oh, yes.
He's good.
Yep, absolutely. He'd make a good Ben-Hur.
And also, I think Tom Hiddleston is actually an actor as opposed to Chum Hiddleston, who
just yells and fires guns into the air.
Exactly, yeah.
In both real life and in movies, even period pieces.
Absolutely.
So, yeah.
That's great.
Yeah, okay.
I'd like to see him
doing like
being something
really successful
that's not a Marvel movie
right yeah
that'd be good actually
if that was
yeah yeah
but he sort of
he still seems to be
sort of being funneled
into like
period piece
yeah
swords and sandals
and what have you
I mean
magic or no magic
well he's one of those guys
yeah
there's certain actors
that aren't suited
to certain eras
like you wouldn't see
Bruce Willis in a period piece movie because it's weird there'shuh there's that jason satham one where he the name of
the king or something where he's in oh yeah the fame the erva ball film yeah yeah okay which
doesn't work because like certain actors only work in certain time periods yeah and yeah he i don't
know if he works in the modern day hillston yeah he's too regal he is too regal i mean even though
obviously marvel set in the model modern day.
But yeah, anyway.
Exciting times.
Yeah, great.
Cinema.
Yeah.
Ant-Man rumors, Mason.
Okay, I'm ready.
Edgar Wright's back in.
No.
Oh.
All right.
Do you want me to skip this then?
Yeah.
No, let's hear it.
It's a bit of a doubter.
I want to hear it.
Ah, no.
Peggy Carter and Howard Stark are rumored to return in Ant-Man in the flashback sequence.
Because, you know, Michael Douglas is the original Ant-Man.
So, you know, it's set in the 70s.
You could put a section in the 70s.
You have those guys turn up.
That'd be cool.
Okay, yeah.
Cool with that?
Wait, Dominic Cooper?
Yeah.
Is he Howard Stark?
Yeah.
Okay.
When did he die in the Marvel?
He died maybe in the 70s.
Maybe in the 80s.
No, probably more in the 80s.
Okay, yeah, that makes more sense.
Early 80s.
Probably in a Lamborghini.
Yeah.
Sounds about right. Yeah, okay, cool. Sure. I i'm on board with that also with um what's his name robert young
robert redford's character from pierce pierce morgan yeah alexander pierce yes yes who's pierce
morgan uh he's some sort of his british commentator like he's a polit he's like an maybe a fox news
commentator oh okay we got political all of a sudden there. We did.
We're out of our depth.
Quick, eject!
We promise never again!
So, yeah.
Also, Sam H. wrote in,
and apparently they're going to work her
into the Avengers Age of Ultron.
Peggy Carter.
Yeah, which would be cool,
because I like that actress.
But he said maybe they could de-age her
with the time gem and just have her come back.
Oh, yeah.
I would love that.
Yeah, yeah.
So I think she's a better love interest
than who they introduced in... Age of 13, yeah. Yeah. I mean,. I would love that. Yeah, yeah. So I think she's a better love interest than who they introduced in...
Agent 13, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, they didn't develop that at all, so maybe that's why.
But no, no, I like those two.
They've got good chemistry.
Yeah, totally.
You're right.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I'd like to see them get together in real life.
Oh, cool.
That's lovely.
Yeah.
They could use that Russian joke that people are so fond of.
Absolutely.
Guardians of the Galaxy news, Mason.
Sequels off.
Look, we had a look at the tracking and we decided it's not worth it.
So, sequels off.
We can't be bothered.
We're busy.
Yep.
But Peter Quill, apparently, his father will not be who he is in the comics.
Okay.
So, that's according to the director.
That's fine.
Yeah.
In the comics, he's a boring rich guy.
Yeah.
So, that's fine.
That's right.
So, you know, we'll see.
Yeah.
I guess.
Yeah.
And again, a la Iron Man, it's not the kind of franchise where you have to stick 100%
to the source material.
Until you get a few movies in, then people know the source material.
Then people know, yeah.
And they'll come after you.
Then they get real angry.
Guns blazing.
The Power Rangers movie has a release date, officially.
Have we talked about this before?
Or is this...
Should I know about this?
Well, no.
Okay, good.
It's not required knowledge good but
thank you although i think it is in the new version of trivial pursuit they put that question
in all right but anyway did you know there was a my new power rangers movie coming out
oh that's the time taking away i'm sweating. Yes. Ding.
Correct.
Yes.
Power Rangers due out.
They have a release date of July 22nd, 2016.
Uh-huh.
It's going to be based on the story by Robert Orsi, who... Star Trek?
Yeah, who everybody hates.
But he's also directing Star Trek 3 Into Darkness more.
Get into darkness, my friends.
Get in the bloody darkness get in there
you mongrel yeah you cool with that wasn't really my era i mean i was still a kid when it came out
i didn't care for it you know pacific room did all right yeah i'll watch it you like robots yeah
i love people teaming up i love swords no zords oh they're called power zords. Oh, I guess I'm okay with zords. Yeah, good.
If I could pick zords or swords, probably...
Oh, actually, I think it might be zords.
You'd have to have a zord without a sword.
You could have an axe.
Yeah, I'm on board with that.
That's good.
Do we know any of the...
I was going to say stars, but I'm going to put that in quotes.
Do we know any of the stars attached?
Not yet, but I believe it's said in the same universe as the others.
Okay. So... Mark Wahl as the others. Okay.
Mark Wahlberg?
Yes.
Great.
Just a group of teens at Angel Grove High, you know?
That was the name of the school.
Do you remember?
Yeah.
I don't.
You know the Blue Ranger from that?
I can't remember what his name is, so forgive me for that, Mason.
Okay.
It's Blu-Ray.
Blu-Ray.
The Blue Ranger.
He was in this show for quite a few seasons.
He started off as kind of the nerd one, and then he got better at karate. Oh, right. Yeah. He was a very popular character, and he's For quite a few seasons He started off as Kind of the nerd one And then he got better At karate
Oh right yeah
He was a very popular character
And he's come back a few times
But in real life
He's gay
And apparently like
A lot of people on set
I don't know whether it was
Producers or directors
Not the other stars
But he was just like
Harassed
Like constantly
Wow
So yeah
Put that in your movie
Be true to real life
Be true to your roots
Your bloody Homophobes,
Power Rangers.
Yeah.
I'm sorry for him.
I know, right?
That's weird that it's Hollywood.
Like, what weird section of...
Like, surely Hollywood is very LGBT,
et cetera, friendly.
Like, why is that this weird one corner of Hollywood
where they're like,
you know what?
Rules don't apply here.
I don't know.
I don't like it.
I can't explain it. Yeah, okay. I hope he's alright apply here. I don't know. I don't like it. I can't explain it.
Hope he's alright. Yep. Seemed like a good dude.
Okay, Mason. Yes?
Before we get into the greatest
movie of all time.
Okay.
William Macdonald donated $20 to our weekly plan.
Oh, good man. Thank you, buddy. Yeah, we really appreciate it.
On weeklybandcamp.
Bandcamp.credit? Maybe start again.
Weeklybandcamp. No. Band Maybe start again. WeeklyBandCamp.
No.
Bandcamp.com.
No.
Wait.
Isn't that it?
Isn't it theweeklyplanet.bandcamp.com?
Yes, that's it.
Okay, great.
What do they put at the start?
What do they put at the end?
I don't know.
No, no.
Anyway, we thank you, William MacDonald.
We do.
Thank you, sir.
Yes.
Really, really appreciate it.
And thank you to those who have been going to the Reddit.
Yeah, we've got Reddit.
Reddit's been kicked off.
We checked it out. We did check it out. It's totally amazing. I'm going to the reddit yeah we've got reddit the reddit's been kicked off we checked it out
we did check it out
it's totally amazing
I'm going to sign up
to reddit
me too
because I'm technologically savvy
it looks fun
there is both
a Threat and Mason thread
which I appreciate a lot
and also murder threats
for Nick and or James
yeah yeah
so I
this has gone beyond
my wildest dreams already
not one but two
threats to murder me
threads
which is great
absolutely
thank you guys
also there's a good place to put show ideas and all that kind of stuff so yeah check it out uh weekly uh was it
reddit dot it's uh reddit.com slash r slash weekly planet podcast yeah so yeah there's episode
discussions and all sorts of stuff and i don't know i think that's a that'd be a good place to
post a bunch of stuff so then there can be like some interaction and put up your little videos
i put up my little videos and there's a um as opposed to people we get a lot
of emails as you check the emails didn't you yes there's a lot right and we get so many good ones
and like legitimately good ones that we just never get to or never respond to so i feel really really
bad so this is a good place to kind of i have and i don't know if you have i have what i call
the double leg break pile which is all the movies and TV shows and books and comics or whatever that I'll get to.
Like, the only way I can get to them is if I break both my legs in some sort of accident.
I can't do anything else.
Sure.
In a Harrison Ford-esque accident.
Yes, exactly.
The door falls on both my legs.
I do it myself to get out of being star wars episode seven but the the weekly
planet emails have been added to that pile yeah like i would like to get to all of them there's
like a few thousand there's a lot in class i can't remember exactly so yeah but we'll get to
a few of the letters that i've picked out at random later mace okay great so yeah
fx is the veil explores the surprising and fraught relationship
between two women who play a deadly game of truth and lies
on the road from Istanbul to Paris and London.
One woman has a secret.
The other, a mission to reveal it before thousands of lives are lost.
FX's The Veil, starring Elizabeth Moss, is now streaming on Disney+.
Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?
Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH,
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From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together
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That's sunrisechallenge.ca.
Let's talk about The Expendables 3.
Okay.
Now, I know every week we say we should probably do a non-spoiler section.
And then usually we say this movie can't a non-spoiler section. Yeah.
And then usually we say this movie can't be spoiled.
Yes.
But this movie can literally not be spoiled.
No.
Do you think this movie is spoiler proof, can we?
Yeah, I think it is.
It's.
So sorry if we spoil this for you.
Yep.
But who cares?
Look, if you're a big enough fan that you're going to, you've probably seen it by now, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
It's been out a couple of days.
A couple of days.
Yeah, yeah. At least. Friday. Or Thursday, I think, in the now, right? Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's been out a couple of days. A couple of days, yeah, yeah.
Or at least Friday,
or Thursday, I think, in the States,
or whatever, whenever it came out.
So, look, people also, as I mentioned,
don't want us to talk about this.
So, we could break this up by,
we'll talk about this,
and then we'll talk about some of the main stars
and their best and worst action movies.
What do you think?
Yeah, we can intersperse that or whatever.
Absolutely.
When we get to each character, sure, yeah.
Let's do it.
Yes.
Now, I didn't see the last two Expendables.
Neither did I.
But I get it.
Yeah, I get it too.
I've seen the trailers.
We understand that it's all the people you love.
More so than your actual loved ones.
Some of them, though, it's like Randy Coulter or whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, are they...
I guess if you're a love wrestler...
He's a wrestler, right?
Yeah. Yep. Oh, this is going to be they... I guess if you're a love wrestler... He's a wrestler, right? Yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
Oh, this is going to be weird.
This is going to be a weird discussion.
But, like, there's a few in there
that it's like,
that's padding, right?
Definitely, yes.
Like, who's...
Are we going to talk...
Do you mean of all the
Expendables as well?
In all of the Expendables movies.
Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Who's the guy who gets
shot up in this one?
The guy...
It's Terry Crews.
Terry Crews.
And I think Terry Crews is great.
Yes. But he's not... I can't name, like,. Terry Crews. Terry Crews. And I think Terry Crews is great. Yes.
But he's not,
I can't name like two Terry Crews action movies.
No,
Expendables 1 and 2.
Oh yeah,
good point.
No,
he's great in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Yeah,
he is.
He's the little tough,
lovable sergeant in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
If we're talking about best and worst stuff,
he's great in that.
He absolutely is.
Yeah.
Very funny,
very muscular.
Yeah.
He was also in that show,
Everybody Hates Chris,
which is not as good as it should be.
Oh, that's a shame.
But hey, there you go.
But yeah, he is a little, he's not a famous guy.
He is padding.
You're absolutely right.
Yeah.
But what did you think of the movie in general?
It's not very good, is it?
No, it's not.
It's not.
I felt myself in the theater reaching for my phone a lot of times.
Yeah, sure.
And I'm like, oh, I can't deal with this bad form.
Absolutely. I kind of want to do something else, but it's bad form.
It's one of those things.
It's definitely...
And then I realise I've been distracted
and then I realise I've sort of lost the plot thread
and I would go back and I haven't missed anything.
I took a quote from that movie, which I then put in my review
and I attributed it to the wrong person
because I wasn't paying attention.
Right.
Wesley Snipes.
Yes.
Who's okay in this?
Yep.
But he's only really in it At the start
Sort of
Yeah
That opening action sequence
Is fine
With the train
And whatever
I felt
Action wise
There were moments
That were excellent
Yep
There were some very
Like two minute sections
That were excellent
Yep
And the rest was
Quite bad
And generic
And terrible
And crap
Yes
Those things
The first...
Because we're spoiling this, who cares?
Right at the end, that last action sequence,
it's Antonio Banderas and Ronda Rousey
and a couple other people,
and it's this quite well-choreographed
sort of shootout sequence.
And there's some great stuff happening in that two minutes.
Two, three minutes?
Yep.
Like, there's all people running around this building
and shooting and what have you.
Yeah.
And it's quite, I would say it's quite excellent.
But everything leading up to that was really generic and terrible.
Yep.
And then the fight sequence with Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone
after that is also terrible.
What is that?
So I feel that they were like, you know what,
we've got this action sequence going to be great.
And they put a lot of work into it.
Yep.
And in the rest they're like, okay, we have to get to that point.
Okay, we'll just have all the expendables run and shoot and there'll be 50 guys in between
them who, for some reason, are not prepared for that at all and will just go down like
sacks of manure, right?
Yep, absolutely.
And that now, I mean, I know we're skipping ahead, but that fight at the end, just a toothless,
boring, boring,
generic, nothing affair.
Well, apparently as well, a lot of the, this was cut from a R to a PG-13. Oh, right.
Okay.
So maybe there was a bit when he impaled him on something that they cut out or whatever.
I don't know.
But it just ended with him picking up a gun and just like shooting him like four times.
Yeah.
Mel Gibson's like, you got me.
We were expendables.
You don't know.
He did a speech. Now, was Mel Gibson in the were Expendables. You don't know. He did a speech.
Now, was Mel Gibson in the first Expendables film?
Because he was being racist.
Do you remember?
He was being really racist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
But, so, the weird thing about this is, the premise of the film is that Sylvester Stallone's
got these Expendables guys, and that Mel Gibson's character used to be in the original Expendables.
He started with the Expendables.
He started in the original Expendables. Yeah. with the Expendables. He started in the original Expendables.
Yeah.
And then he left because they had some sort of...
And Stallone shot him.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because he said that he was wearing a vest or whatever.
So...
And then for some reason, for like 20 years, nobody saw this guy.
Right, right, exactly.
But we never see that.
It's all exposition.
Yeah.
We never see a flashback when Mel Gibson and Sylvester Stallone
are in the Expendables fighting together and being a team.
So when we go, okay, now they're the bitterest of arch nemesises
because of this reason.
Who cares?
Why are we...
Yeah, you're right.
I noticed there's two points in this film where Stallone could have killed him quite easily.
The first time he sees him, his name's Stonebacker or Stonebreaker.
I don't know what his name is.
But he sees him, he's like, that's fucking Mel Gibson.
And he yells out his name.
Yep.
And then Mel Gibson turns around and then he starts shooting at him.
Yeah, yeah.
Like just shoot at him and then be like, that's that guy.
Right, right, yeah.
I had to shoot him just quickly, but now I'll tell you about it.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
And then there's a bit later where Mel Gibson, he could have shot Mel Gibson again.
Where they're in the building, they kill the lights.
They kill the lights!
Yeah, exactly.
Here's the thing about it, because the idea, at that point, Kelsey Grammer, who's in this.
Famous action star, Kelsey Grammer.
Oh, no, actually, Kelsey Grammer's Harrison Ford.
Yes.
Wants Sylvester
Stallone to get
Mel Gibson to the
Hague to try and
for war crimes.
Yeah.
Because he sells
arms.
He's an arms dealer
or whatever.
In paintings.
Yeah he puts them
in paintings exactly.
I love how they
explain that in one
line.
Yeah.
It's great but
anyway go on.
So he needs to get
him to the Hague
and his best plan
is kill the lights then shoot some of the people around him, and then let him escape.
Surely, if you've got one shot at one guy, you don't shoot the people around him.
You shoot him with like a tranquilizer dart.
Yeah.
He goes down.
You kill the lights so nobody can retrieve him.
Yeah.
It's chaos.
Yeah, and then...
Night vision.
Kill everyone. Yeah. Why are we better at being expendables than that? I don't him. Yeah. It's chaos. Yeah, and then... Night vision. Kill everyone.
Why are we better at being the Expendables than they are?
I don't know.
Yeah.
That's a good question.
But what's weird about it...
So why is Jason Statham in the Expendables?
Well, that's another thing.
Because they're like,
oh, this young crew's taken over.
Jason Statham is...
I looked up his age.
Yeah.
He is maybe by a year or so,
but he's closer to Callum Lutt's age.
Right.
And the other guys,
and he is to Stallone.
Right.
Now the thing is, if you go into these movies, you want to see Couture or whatever his name
is, Randy Couture and Statham and Jet Li and whatever.
Why do they then swap out the cast about two thirds in?
No, not even, a third in.
You've got this whole other action sequence with these people who, most of which cannot
act, right? Yeah. And aren't that engaging. I would say Ronda Rousey, is that her name? Yep. She probably comes off the best. Yeah. you've got this whole other action sequence with these people who most of which cannot act right
and aren't that engaging
I would say Ronda Rousey
is that her name?
yep
she probably comes off the best
yeah
because she's an MMA fighter
is that right?
she's the currently undefeated
bantamweight champion
oh
yeah
that's pretty good
it's like 10 wins
0 losses
okay
yeah
that's pretty good isn't it?
you should watch one of some of those videos
they're brutal
like there's...
She'll be like...
She wins by arm bar, which is where you lock somebody's arm down.
Yeah.
And, like, they've got two options.
Tap out or she'll snap your arm.
And so, there's...
So, she'll have it in the arm bar.
And it's, like, bending, like, unnaturally far.
And she looks...
And the opponent is not tapping out.
And she looks over at the ref, like,
Huh? Huh? Come on. Huh?
And he's like, can't do anything until ref like huh huh come on and he's like
can't do anything
until somebody
like taps
and she's like
fine
and she just sort of
bends it further
and it's like
really
really cracking
and she's like
come on
this is
you made me do it
you're making me do this
I don't
but yeah
she's uh
she's the best there is
yeah
absolutely
yeah
so yeah
and charming in a way, but underused.
Everybody in this is really underused.
Absolutely.
Dolph Lundgren, underused.
Yeah.
Or used just the right amount.
Were they attempting to give everybody personalities in this?
I think so.
Lundgren's got a drinking problem.
Yeah, I think that...
It's his personality.
I think that stems from the last one.
I think a lot of them are like...
It's like you're supposed to know that if you haven't
seen them, you know that Statham and Stallone are good friends or whatever.
Right.
Those sons of bitches.
You son of a bitch.
But like.
Are we giving this an unfair shot because we haven't seen the previous two?
I don't think so.
No, I don't think so either.
Maybe we should.
Every Expendables film is somebody's first Expendables film.
Exactly.
So, if they can't make it entertaining...
Also, a lot of people are saying that this is the worst one.
No, you're saying that...
No, sorry.
This is the best one.
Some of the best one in terms of...
Not the bloodlessness.
Right.
Like, the villain is apparently the best.
He...
Wow.
And some of the action sequences are the best.
That cannot be right.
I mean, Mel Gibson, there's that scene where he's in the van and he's, like, threatening.
That's kind of interesting.
Where he's like, You made me feel like this and now I'm going to kill you.
He's very cartoony.
Like there's that bit where they've wired the building to explode.
They've wired the building and he's like, I've set this explosions and you try to kind of escape.
I'll give you 45 seconds or whatever.
And then they're all, Stallone's giving everybody a pep talk on camera.
And Mel Gibson's like, oh, okay.
Just trigger the explosives.
Yeah, absolutely.
What a weird...
What a weird explosive setup he's got.
It's timered, but it's also on some sort of signal.
Yeah.
So it's on a timer,
but you can block the timer using your electronic wristwatch.
And apparently if you just fire into the building with like rockets and like tanks and machine guns, then you won't hit any of the explosives, I guess.
No, that's right.
I don't know, man.
I mean, and they would know going into that building that something's up.
Like, why would they all end up converging on the one room?
Like, you know he's waiting for you.
Right.
Like, he's not just going to...
I don't know, man.
But the point is, what I was trying to get at, if you're going to see all these iconic
action stars, Schwarzenegger's in, I forgot.
Yeah.
Barely used.
I mean, who cares?
Whatever.
You don't want to see them swap out for nobody.
And for the purpose of Stallone doesn't want to get his old crew killed.
His Terry Crews killed.
But he knows that that's his job.
Why is he suddenly like, I didn't know
people could get hurt in this game.
You run into war zones.
How do you not know this? You're in the expendables.
Exactly. It's in the name.
And only that you get that crew,
you hire that crew because you don't care about them.
Then they get captured. Just leave
them. Yeah. Because that was the purpose.
Yeah.
You don't like them.
Yeah, that's right.
You don't know them.
Right.
Anyway.
Yeah.
It's inexplicable.
I mean, I guess the point of that was to show, you know, the old guy still got it.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what?
You don't got it because it's boring.
You've got to do something better than this.
This is a, it's a shitty homage to like the 80s and 90s action
movies. Yeah. That's more reliant on the
fact that, oh, you know
these guys. Look, Schwarzenegger said
that line. He said, get to the chopper. Do you get it?
He actually got two chopper lines. He did get
two chopper lines. He had get to the chopper
and he said something else about
a chopper. Yeah, absolutely.
I was looking out for the chopper. Yeah.
Why two chopper lines?
I don't know.
Do you think maybe
they put in a whole bunch,
like, you know what
would have been good?
If one character
just spoke in lines
from his other films.
Sure.
And I reckon Schwarzenegger
would have been the perfect one.
Yeah.
Because he's been
in so many films
and so many iconic,
you know,
that are now cliched lines.
Yeah.
You contrive it so at no point does he say any original dialogue and it's just i'll be back
and hasta la vista put that cookie down yeah exactly all those things all these classics yeah
absolutely yeah because it's not it doesn't feel to me big enough to like it's not there's not
enough of like a knowing wink as an action film goes yeah it's not it's not brutal it's not there's not enough of like a knowing wink as an action film goes yeah it's
not it's not brutal it's not like a born identity film or whatever like some whatever the new version
of that is where people are getting horrifically killed you know in knife fights or whatever yeah
there are some knife fights but they're kind of they're bloodless knife fights they're kind of
i love how they run out of things for like people to have so like we just have two knife guys yeah totally yeah yeah but
on the topic of that i yeah i attributed the the line on the knife before christmas to jason statham
but it's actually but it's the other guy and i remember actually wearing knives well yeah why
would jason statham say that and it was just because i just wasn't paying attention right
and they look completely different and i still mixed do. And I still mixed it up. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't care.
No.
Because I don't care.
But there is a line in The Expendables 2, and I've seen it in the trailer, so this is
also why I thought this was real, where Jason Statham hits a guy with a knife and he says,
I now pronounce you man and knife.
Ha!
See, that's great.
It is great.
These are movies that...
These bring down Jason Statham.
Yeah.
These are movies maybe that are better as trailers.
Yeah, sure.
Like if they were funny or die parody trailers.
Absolutely.
Because, you know, you see the trailer for this and you get all the action stars and
they all walk out and line up.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like, oh, that's cool.
Look at all those guys.
Yep.
But, like you said, underused.
Yeah.
Jet Li, especially.
I think he was sick or something, but it was weird.
Oh, okay.
But they peddled him out to just be like, isn't Jet Li short?
Yeah, totally.
And that's it.
Yeah.
And maybe gay, Donald Schwarzenegger?
And the thing is as well...
And he's a martial arts guy.
Exactly.
And he just fires a machine gun off a helicopter.
Yeah, that's right.
If you're going to get him, use him properly or don't put him in at all.
Yeah, yeah. There's also a scene... Why not a Ronda Rouse you're going to get him, use him properly or don't put him in at all. Yeah, yeah.
There's also a scene...
Why not a Ronda Rousey, Jet Li, like, they team up and they do martial arts.
You know what I mean?
Like, Lethal Weapon, I think, 4 it is, which isn't the best Lethal Weapon at all.
But I think Danny Glover and...
Mel Gibson and Danny Glover versus Jet Li.
Yeah.
And it's great.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And there's also a similar scene to that in one of the Fast and Furious movies.
I think that it started the move where Gibson pulls a gun on Jet Li and Jet Li just pulls the slide off the top of the gun so he can't fire it.
Oh, okay.
Cool.
That's cool.
There's also a scene like that in the Fast and Furious movies where two guys get their
asses kicked by a kung fu guy.
Yeah.
And it's really good because they're just like, you know, throwing everything at him
and they're just like,
something like that.
Just do something interesting
or don't put Jet Li in.
Get Jackie Chan
or whatever.
I don't know.
Some other like,
you know,
renowned martial artist
from like the 80s and 90s.
And then Jackie Chan
can be on the helicopter
and another helicopter
comes after him
and then like Jackie Chan
can like swing a fridge door open
that's on the helicopter and hit the hit the other helicopter absolutely also it's weird they make so many jet
lee short jokes stallone is notoriously short and he doesn't want people to know it for what it is
it's okay you can be short it doesn't matter like because he wears lifts and apparently he's like
five six or whatever okay right it's fine whatever yeah i just don't get famous yeah exactly who cares so i don't know whether that's a thing to be like well
he's even shorter than i am or whatever because you know still i started this whole thing anyway
i don't like stallone i don't like him is it because he got busted for bringing human growth
hormone into australia that's exactly you don't break laws in my country i just think he's
completely not aware of what makes what of what he is. Right.
Or he's not aware enough to kind of capitalize on it in any good way.
He thinks he's better than he is and he hates on a lot of the other action or modern action
stars.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, because he's like, well, we'll do it better or whatever.
You don't do it better.
You do it worse.
Most of your movies are terrible.
There are exceptions.
I think the last Rocky movie was good.
Last Rambo movie was good.
Last Rambo movie was good, but I think... Demolition Man. Yeah. I love Demol Rocky movie was good. Last Rambo movie was good. Last Rambo movie was good. But I think...
Demolition Man.
Yeah.
I love Demolition Man.
Yeah.
But I think he's completely unaware of...
He's kind of standing and kind of...
Right, right.
Which sounds kind of mean.
But I feel like Schwarzenegger, on the other hand, knows exactly what he is and what he's
good at.
And he can spin a good yarn and whatever.
And even though he's terrible and he cheats on his wife and whatever.
Oh, yeah.
But, yeah, I just feel like he's more kind of in tune with what he is and what he can do.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, whatever.
Do any of the jokes land?
There were jokes?
No, of course not.
None of them.
Oh, Knife Before Christmas.
What about Antonio Banderas?
Oh.
I didn't hate that. I didn't hate that.
I didn't hate him.
I thought he was, you know, okay.
Ah, look.
He got a lot of screen time.
He did.
And he was good combat.
We're talking the action sequences.
He's part of the best one, probably, at the end.
Yeah.
But he's just...
Is he his Puss in Boots character?
That's what I thought.
That's what I put in my review.
He is.
On cocaine.
He's got a lot of cocaine.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And he's, you know, he's, but why wouldn't you use the Al Mariachi kind of play off of
that?
That's a really good point.
Anyway, whatever.
Didn't even think of that.
Anyway, I don't know.
He's been so, he's so far away from that and just being spy kids and what have you and
pussy boots.
Why not use his character from Ballistic X versus Sever?
Yes.
Famously one of the worst movies ever until it was beaten
by whatever something that came out this year
probably. Driven with Sylvester Stallone.
Oh yeah.
But anyway. Do you have any best lines
aside from the knife before Christmas?
No, I... No, the chopper lines were mentioned
so they were pretty great. There's the tax fraud line.
Oh yeah. It's not a joke
though, is it? I mean it's a joke.
I mean he did literally go to jail for...
For like three years, yeah.
That first opening sequence where they...
That set a bad tone, I think, for the film.
Where they have to...
They go to rescue this guy off the train.
First of all, why are all those guys just hanging out on top of a train?
Yep.
What's the point?
Why are they all...
They're just hanging out there.
Like, some of them run to the top of the train.
Yes.
Once the alarm sounded.
Yes. There's like ten guys just hanging out on the roof of some of them run to the top of the train once the alarm sounded. But there's like
ten guys
just hanging out
on the roof of a train.
Seems windy
and uncomfortable.
For one guy.
For one guy, yeah.
The whole train
is for one guy, isn't it?
I think so, yeah.
Otherwise they killed
a lot of prisoners.
They probably did, yeah.
And just prison guards.
But those guys
are more expendable.
They're the more expendables.
But yeah, and so the...
And then Wesley Snipes
wants to
blow up the prison facility for some reason.
We don't know why.
He's just a...
He looks at the general, the picture of the general, and he's like, ooh, that prison general.
Right, so clearly that's an issue there.
I mean, but it's never explained.
But then the part where they crash the train into the building, there's the explosion,
and they're all in the helicopter, and it's flying away, and they're all like, yeah, fist
pump.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's so...
I don't...
People in my cinema were not like, yeah.
But maybe people in regular cinemas were like, yeah.
Like everybody fist pumped at the same time.
Maybe big fans of The Expendables were like, yeah.
Remember they did that last time?
Fist pump.
Absolutely.
Right?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Well, speaking of fist pumps, there were...
I counted them them there were three
fist bumps between oh yeah great statham great i started a fist bump count they did too early on
yeah and then they stopped and then they did one at the end yeah because they're early on they're
jovial and fun and then things get serious and at the end we're back to fun again yes boy are we um
this is going all over the place but i don care. It's just whatever thoughts come to me at the time.
Terry Crews' minigun is terrible.
Because it's CGI'd. It's a fully CGI'd...
I mean, the actual device,
the prop itself,
is real. Oh, but the bullets... All the bullets
and all the shell casing CGI. I didn't notice that.
Awful. And if you've seen
Captain America the Winter Soldier, I know you have,
there's a sweet minigun in that. It's all
real. Oh, in the car? No, no, you have. There's a sweet minigun in that. It's all real. Oh, in the car?
No, no, in the...
There's a chase sequence where Captain America and Black Widow and Falcon are on the run.
They're on a freeway.
Winter Soldier jumps on the car.
Oh, that's right.
And a whole bunch of troops come up.
I do remember that.
One dude's on the roof of a truck and he's got a minigun and it's a crack.
It's a sweet old minigun.
Yeah, that's how you do it.
Terminator 2. Sweet minigun. Yeah and he's got a minigun and it's a crack. It's a sweet old minigun. Yeah, that's how you do it. Terminator 2.
Sweet minigun.
Yeah.
Predator sweet minigun.
And clearly they wanted to get fans of the minigun.
Yeah.
And even then, it only went for like nine seconds.
Yeah, exactly.
And then they made a joke about premature ejaculation or whatever.
Yeah, totally, yeah.
There was that joke where somebody said something about,
oh, you don't last that long in the bedroom.
Or Dolph Lundgren maybe said it or something.
And everyone went, oh.
And everybody was like, hey, shut up, Dolph Lundgren.
You haven't been in a film since Johnny Mnemonic.
Shut up.
Shut your mouth.
Now, these are just things I wanted to mention.
I wasn't sure how to categorize them,
so I'm just going to bring them up.
I know you hate an unironic walk away from an explosion.
Yes.
But there was a bit where he walks away from the helicopter. He it up for no reason yeah yeah why ah you can identify the helicopter
but even then he killed everybody they all died on that train building yep parkour oh that's still
happening isn't it yes i love how wesley snipes do you reckon wesley was like there were two
wesley snipes kind of did it, and Antonio Banderas does it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
As he comes down the...
Do you think they were out of touch and they insisted on it?
Absolutely.
Do you reckon there's a whiteboard in the production offices,
and you wrote your character down,
and then you could pick from a list of attributes you wanted?
What they could do, absolutely.
Knife guy.
Yeah.
Parkour.
Minigun.
Minigun.
Well, I wanted to mention this as well at the end
everybody kind of has a moment when they show off their skills which is an 80s throwback yeah
they don't really though i kill him lots of motocross guys that one no but he's like an
action guy but you're not the start they're like he likes motorbikes and throwing fights
and then he leaps the bike onto the thing and whatever. But the French guy, his moment is just like climbing a drainpipe.
Yeah, he does that for a long time.
They keep cutting back to it.
It's like over 25 minutes.
It's the same drainpipe.
It's like six feet of drainpipe.
But everybody else had just used the stairs, I guess.
Like, why was that happening?
I'm sure there was a good reason.
But the French, his skill was computers.
His skill was using wrist computers.
Oh, yeah, he did that as well.
Yeah.
Inexplicable wrist computer. Great. was using wrist computers. Oh yeah, he did that as well. Inexplicable wrist computer.
Great.
I don't know. But no, I also felt that nobody really got to
show their skills. Okay, sure.
I felt it was all very generic, just
shooting. Yep. And that was pretty
like everybody got in a line and ran
and shot. And that was pretty
much everything, right? Yeah. I do
appreciate how contrived they...
Like, clearly, they were like cross...
People who like expendable films like motocross stunts.
Yeah.
So we have to somehow contrive to get a motocross stunt
in during the action sequence.
Yeah, sure.
Bike to building.
Pretty great.
Yeah, that was all right, wasn't it?
Fine.
Yeah.
Why...
No.
No?
Not really.
Why is there a ramp there? It wasn't a ramp. It tail whatever i don't know yeah it doesn't make sense i like it he's lucky that
didn't collapse and he was killed exactly i mean there's a lot of luck in this movie boy yeah did
you ever think that what's his name was gonna die though i don't think anybody was gonna die
well yeah exactly because as soon as i saw him alive on the plane i'm like well he's alive
forever i thought that was quite confusing oh well that he was alive well i saw the mask on
his face yeah yeah i was like oh he's alive right okay but then he was back terry crews
i don't know man there's a bit where statham where the old crew meet the new crew right and
they kind of do a lot of kind of you can't see it everybody's listening but like the eyes yeah
yeah give them the eyes yeah the old stink eyes yeah. Give him the eyes. Yeah, the odd stink eyes. Yeah.
Statham throws a knife at one of them and the guy just turns his head.
Yeah.
He would have been killed.
Just misses him.
Yeah.
Like a centimeter.
Yep.
Not cool.
Yeah.
Just attempted murder right off the bat.
That's right.
Maybe that's his power move.
Just like we kill one guy.
It's like when you go to prison and you've got to shiv the toughest guy to prove you're the boss
you hire a crew
of new expendables
and you just kill
one of them straight away
see you guys
are real expendable
and he's like
boy this didn't work this time
oh alright
these guys will live
yeah
there's also a
Cain and Abel parable
is there
yeah they mention it
by accident
I don't know
something comes up
I can't remember
oh right right right
okay yep
can we now talk about the fashion in this movie?
Boy, yeah, okay.
You're right about it.
There's a scene, and we're in spoiler zone,
so everybody who's seen the film has seen it.
Yeah.
There's a bit where Barney, Sylvester Stallone's character,
his name is Barney, and Kelsey Grammer go around the world, I guess,
or across the US or something, in order to
find new expendables.
It goes for a while, doesn't it?
It goes for 10 minutes, maybe?
Yep.
Seems like that.
Yeah.
But it's a fashion parade, for whatever reason.
Mostly for Stallone.
But they don't, for whatever reason, they're not just wearing black t-shirts and cargo
pants like they are in Berets, like they are in the rest of the film.
But it's all of a sudden, they're somewhere and stallone's wearing a weird aztec
like a weird big aztec cardigan coat and then all of a sudden they're somewhere they're both
wearing loud hawaiian shirts and then it's going on the passage of time i guess so yeah
there are a lot of dumb hats in this movie as well,
as you noticed.
So many berets.
Oh, man.
God.
So, look, I don't really have anything else to say.
Yeah, but it was weird because they're all in...
I just enjoyed that they were all in...
It's just them hanging out in weird old guy clothing.
Yeah.
Weirdly fashionable old guy clothing.
Do you like Kelsey Grammer?
I do, yeah.
You know, traditional action star Kelsey Grammer.
Yeah.
What about Harrison Ford?
We didn't really talk about that.
Underused, I guess.
But he fired up.
He was grumpy.
I mean, that's his natural state of being these days.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, yeah.
I know people are upset that I didn't make good on my bet for that line.
Yeah, let's not mention it.
That's not really the week for it, is it?
Well, it's not.
Yeah.
But I guess I don't have anything else to say about this.
No.
I want to talk about some other action movies.
Some good ones.
Yeah, okay.
Let's go through some stars.
You know what?
It's not good enough that it's good, obviously.
They're wearing cravats at one point.
Kelsey Graham's got a cravat on.
Stallone's got a real big brown leather jacket.
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
It's made out of elephant hide or something.
Yeah, it's not good enough to be good, obviously,
but it's not even so bad that it's funny enough.
Like a Commando, for example.
Right, exactly, yeah.
It's just not, it's nothing.
It's pointless and it's dumb and I hate it.
It's the worst movie ever.
Was a film like Commando, was that intended to be ironically silly and over the top?
I don't think so, but I think that's why it works, though.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Because it just opens with him carrying a tree.
It does open with him carrying a tree, yeah.
So, worst or best movie ever?
Look, worst movie ever, but I kind of want to see the first two now.
Just to see what they're like.
I did watch that there's a Chuck and...
Some local DVD place is getting a sale of a sweet double pack from this guy.
Because that's what I'm getting as soon as we finish this.
There's a...
What was I going to say?
There's a scene I watched from the second one with Chuck Norris because he's in it.
Yep.
And Stallone and whoever is in that one go to a town and everybody's dead, right?
Uh-huh.
And then they're like, what happened here?
And then Chuck Norris walks through and everyone's like,
oh my God,
it's that guy or whatever.
Right, right, right.
So you don't see Chuck Norris
kill anybody
and then Chuck Norris
and they talk about,
oh, you did all this
by yourself
and he's like,
I walk alone,
I'm Chuck Norris.
Remember those jokes
from 2004?
Yeah, yeah, totally.
And then Chuck Norris
says a Chuck Norris joke.
Huh.
So I think I've got
the Expendables 1 and 2
experience.
That's down,
so I don't have to watch
them anymore.
Great.
Worst movie ever.
Okay. You're just saying that flat Great. Worst movie ever. Okay.
You're just saying that flat out?
Worst movie ever?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
Well, look, why don't we go through the cast?
Okay, ready.
Yep.
Not all of them.
No.
But, and talk about their best and worst action movies.
Do you have some of the new Expendables on there?
I've got lots.
Okay.
The Legend of Hercules.
Yeah, and The Legend of Hercules.
Okay, right.
I was going to say that for last but we can talk about that
yeah
did you see
Twilight
no
I saw the first
one
great
how'd that go
I don't remember
it that well
there's a Muppet run
there is yeah
we remember that
and Legend of Hercules
I did not see
no okay
that's Lutz covered
but he is in an
episode of 30 Rock
oh yeah
where he's
there's a character
called Lutz in 30 Rock
oh yeah that's right
he keeps mentioning
that Callum Lutz
is his like halfcousin or something.
Right, right.
And then he actually shows up at one point,
and it's actually pretty funny.
Okay.
So, yeah.
This guy's got a good sense of humor about himself.
Yeah, I guess so.
None of these actors are jerks, probably.
Yeah, except for Stallone.
Maybe it's who he thinks Stallone is.
Okay, right.
Yep.
Also, I've heard some on-set stuff about him,
just like the on-set reports how, like...
Oh, it doesn't even matter.
Okay.
I don't even...
Like, it's second-hand stuff.
I just don't...
Is he the guy that bullied the Blue Power Rangers?
That's right, yeah.
Just turned up on set.
Nothing to do with him.
Yep.
Well, let's start with Stallone then.
Okay.
I've got some good ones.
Do you want me to name some ones that I like?
Yeah, go ahead.
Go ahead.
I think Rocky III is the best Rocky.
I know it's not the best...
Rocky III versus...
The Club of Lang.
There we go, yeah.
Okay, that is...
And he's got the robot.
Yep.
Who Paulie falls in love with.
Yep.
It's ridiculous.
And the first two are good or whatever.
They're very serious and somber or whatever.
But I think Rocky III is hilarious.
And it's got the best montages.
And Rocky IV is the one where...
He fights Dolph Lundgren.
And Russia.
Yeah, he fights all of Russia.
And that one gets quite...
Because Apollo Creed dies.
Yeah.
It's the bad one. It's pretty grim. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah, it's the one where they're training on the beach together. Yeah, he fights all of Russia and that one gets quite, because Apollo Creed dies. Yeah, it's pretty grim.
Yeah, it's the one where they're training on the beach together
and he has to get back the Eye of the
Tiger, so he learns to dance and
round the ring to the... Wait, is this three?
This is three, to Eye of the Tiger.
It's cool. And he fights
Hulk Hogan at the start. Oh yeah.
It's just the best one. It's the most
entertaining one. It's probably not the best Rocky
movie, but it's the most entertaining. So we... I've realised that we said we'd talk about the best one. It's the most entertaining one. It's probably not the best Rocky movie, but it's the most entertaining.
So we, I've realized that this, we said we'd talk about the best and worst films of these
people.
Yeah.
But I think worst, we can always just go Expendables 3, so it doesn't, just say, we'll just say
best.
It's fine.
Unless you can think of a real zinger of a terrible film.
Yeah.
Okay.
I've got a few here.
He was the voice of the lion in the zookeeper with Kevin James. Oh, right. Where the zoo animals help him get dates. Oh, yep. I've got a few here. He was the voice of the lion in The Zookeeper with Kevin James.
Oh, right.
Where the zoo animals help him get dates.
Oh, yep.
Sure.
He was an ant in Ants.
Oh, yeah.
He was the tough guy ant.
Yeah.
He was a bully ant or something.
I haven't seen it, but this can't be good.
Get Carter.
Oh, the remake Get Carter.
Yep.
It was okay.
It's fine.
He's in that movie.
I'm not a huge fan of the original Get Carter, though, to be honest.
Okay.
It's fine.
Fair enough.
I'm more of an Italian Job kind of guy.
Do you like the remake?
Because I want to talk about that later as well.
The remake of the Italian Job?
Yeah.
No, it's not good.
Garbage.
He's in that arm wrestling movie, but I'm not sure whether that falls into kind of like
so bad it's good kind of territory.
It's been a long time since I've seen that.
Like the ones I'm talking about there, they're just flat out bad.
Yeah, uh-huh.
Where does Cobra sit?
Cobra's good, right?
Yeah, I mean, I can't remember.
I remember being entertained by it.
Yeah, okay, Cobra's good.
I remember he didn't play by the rules.
I'm going to note that down and re-watch that.
I'm going to re-watch Cobra this week.
Cobra's good.
What about the party at Kitty and Studs?
Never heard of it.
It's the soft porno that he's in.
Right, okay, yeah.
Good call.
I liked the new Rocky.
I thought that was good, and that's one of his best performances and movies.
He does a speech where he's like,
You've got to be true to yourself!
Don't let people beat you down!
Kind of just goes in circles, that speech.
I think that's what Over the Top's like as well.
Okay.
Demolition Man is amazing.
It really is, yeah.
It's just amazing.
It made a lot of predictions about the future that are true as well.
Like it invented the iPad.
And freezing people, freezing villains, and then releasing predictions about the future that are true as well. Like it invented the iPad and freezing people, freezing villains,
and then releasing them in the future.
They invented that.
That happened, didn't it?
Yeah.
There's a movie from the 80s called Lock Up where Stallone's in jail.
And it's pretty good.
He's locked up and then he locks out.
Yeah.
And there's also a prison breakout in Tango and Cash.
There is, there sure is.
Which is probably amazing, right?
Yeah, I think they flying foxed their way out at the end.
And he's the stockbroker one.
Yeah, he's the buttoned up guy with the little round glasses, yeah.
The new Rambo film, I think, is excellent. Yeah, absolutely.
Because, and if we're talking about, you know...
See, that's what The Expendables should be. Yeah, when I said it's not...
The Expendables isn't realistic like a Bourne identity film.
I think that's probably...
The new Rambo is probably more what I'm thinking of.
Because it is, you know, this Rambo character who's sort of...
But he's been put in a more realistic setting.
And there is brutal action in that.
Yeah.
And it's not... Like, there brutal there is brutal action in that yep and it's not
like
there's some
quite vicious killing
in that
but they're like
the big action sequence
at the end
like he's on a
like he's on a
mounted gun
on a truck
and he just sort of
just lays waste
to all
like cuts in half
yeah all these people
and it's not like
hey how fun and cool
is this
it's like this is
like these people deserve this because they're terrible people.
Yeah.
But why is there so much killing happening?
I don't...
Yeah.
Why is there killing in the world?
Yeah.
Why is this...
He's very reluctant.
Yeah.
So that's one way these Expendables movies could have gone.
I don't think they should have gone that way necessarily.
Yeah.
But they could have gone to this really brutal, here's the horrors of war kind of thing.
Or they could have gone like,
here's these crazy characters
and they're all going into war wearing Hawaiian shirts
and having fun.
Exactly.
This is cool.
We're just, you know,
there's danger all about,
but we don't care because we're cool and having fun
and we're veterans of this and we're having,
you know, it's great.
But they didn't go either.
They just hit this middle ground.
Exactly.
Yeah.
But Rambo 4 is probably the best Rambo, maybe?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Except for Rambo 3.
Well, the one where he helps the Taliban.
That's the one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Boy, how Allegiance has changed, you know?
Do you know before Waterworld, Rambo 3 was the biggest flop of all time?
Wow, okay.
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen it.
Cliffhanger's amazing, right?
Yeah, Cliffhanger's pretty good.
Yeah.
Any other Stallone ones to
mention uh nah that's it i've got to stop or my mom will shoot fact i'm sure i'm ready stallone
and yes okay they used to hate each other right right they used to bitter rivals yeah bitter
rivals stallone i think stallone had success earlier but stallone ended up being the bigger
right the bigger actor.
And I would say he's got the better movies as well, in general.
Oh, yeah, probably.
But he tricked Stallone into doing that by spreading a rumor that he wanted that movie.
Interesting.
And then Stallone is like, oh, he got me.
Like, just read that terrible script.
You should know that that's not good.
That's right.
But, yeah, there you go.
I think Stallone has always tried to kind of struggle to find his place. terrible script you should know that that's not good that's right but yeah there you go i think
stallone has always tried to kind of struggle to find his place like he started like they were like
this guy's the new de niro because he wrote rocky that's right yeah put in this amazing performance
or whatever and then i don't know he decided to become an action star and whatever and then
he kept doing it when you know in the mid 90s to-2000s when people didn't want to see it.
Like, he wasn't aware that...
God of the World had moved on.
Yeah, that's it.
And it's only through doing another Rocky
that he kind of came back.
But I think that's all I've got to say for him.
Pretty good.
Anything else to add about his filmography?
No, that'll do it.
It's in Death Race 2000,
which I haven't seen.
Oh, the original?
Yeah.
No, I haven't seen that either.
I know.
We'll talk about Death Race later,
because Statham.
Absolutely. Oh, let's talk about it now. Sure. It seen that either. I know. We'll talk about Death Race later, because Statham. Absolutely.
Oh, let's talk about it now.
Sure.
It's not very good.
Death Race.
And there's a remake.
I love Death Race.
Okay, fine.
The new Death Race?
Yes.
I put that down as one that I enjoy of Statham.
Let's talk about Statham then.
Okay.
I like Death Race.
I know it's terrible.
If you had to pick one Statham film?
The Bank Job.
Okay.
Yep.
Okay.
That's a good one.
It's more serious or whatever, but I think he's good in that.
He's a good actor.
I think...
Even in terrible movies, he's really serviceable and he's likeable
and you feel like he could really hurt you.
Right, yeah.
In real life.
Yeah, yeah.
Even though he was like an Olympic diver and like a model and whatever.
He seems like a real tough kind of cockney kind of son of a bitch.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you like Crank?
Yeah, Crank is good.
I haven't seen Crank 2.
Crank is...
Crank 2 is probably...
You know what?
Crank 2 is probably better.
Oh, really?
Wow.
It's...
Because it makes...
Crank 2 is what we're talking about.
If you're going to go in the crazy direction...
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
There's...
It's...
Yeah.
There's no...
Rules don't apply.
Because he got his body mashed
At the end of the first one
Yeah he
He fell out of a plane
For a very long
No a helicopter
Fell out of a helicopter
And he had enough time
To make a phone call
Yep
And
And then he lands on a car
Yeah
But isn't it in Crank 2
He turns out that he's got
An indestructible heart
Or something
Well he basically
Is indestructible
Yeah
Like presumably
At some point
They figure that
Some gang boss Realises that he's still alive Despite falling out of a plane So he must is indestructible. Yeah. Like, presumably, at some point, they figure that some gang boss realises that he's still alive
despite falling out of a plane,
so he must be indestructible somehow.
Yeah.
And this gangster needs a heart,
so he gets Statham's heart and puts it in himself.
And he has a car battery for a heart.
Is that right?
He has, like, a pacemaker,
like an artificial heart that needs charging.
And he has to keep cranking it.
Keep cranking it with voltage.
Yeah.
You know it. So, yeah it with voltage. Yeah. You know it.
So, yeah.
That's probably sounds good.
Yep.
The first transporter.
Not so much the other ones.
No.
Yeah.
Which is the one where he's tethered to his car?
Is that three?
That's three.
Yeah.
Not good.
No, the first one is excellent, I think.
You know what really is...
Because it's fun and European and Frenchy.
It's fucking wacky.
I love it.
But there's...
What really annoyed me, there's a scene in the trailer where he gets a rocket
shot at him and he deflects it with a serving plate.
And then they cut that out of the movie because people would have been like, that's unrealistic
or whatever.
That's the best part of that movie, surely.
Right?
But there's, I can't remember, is it that one where he puts the bicycle, the bike pedals
on his feet and he fights in the oil? Is that that one? That's the first one, yeah. Stuff like that. It's inventive I can't remember. Is it that one where he puts the bicycle... The bike pedals on his feet and he fights in the...
In the oil.
Is that that one?
That's the first one, yeah.
Stuff like that.
It's inventive.
It's clever.
Yeah, I wanted anything like that for the Expanded.
Yeah.
But we got nothing like that.
Nothing like that.
So, yeah.
And Collateral.
He's in Collateral.
He gives Tom Cruise a briefcase at the start.
Oh, he does too.
And it's the same character.
Because he's the transporter.
Yeah, okay, cool.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got some terrible stuff here though.
People have done some good films.
It's a shame that we didn't watch one of those this week.
It's a shame we didn't watch just clips of their good movies all put together.
Yeah, absolutely.
For two hours, that would have been better.
Also Lock, Sock and Two Smoking Barrels and Snatch.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, they're both good.
What about Revolver?
No, that made no sense.
I haven't seen it.
Yeah, it made no sense. He's in the Pink Panther apparently. I haven't seen it. Yeah, it made no sense.
He's in the Pink Panther, apparently.
I haven't seen it.
I haven't seen it either.
And the Italian Job.
I hate the Italian Job.
Yeah.
And that was one of those movies where the entire plot is revealed in the trailer.
Yeah, that's it.
Like, we'll put the explosives under the truck, and then the truck's under the bridge, and
then we'll, yeah.
Where'd the truck go, and blah- bridge and then we'll yeah where the truck go and
bloody blah yeah yeah i mean i know the first one the original isn't you know flawless by any stretch
but i just think that's not a good movie that's really not still and i can't remember why but i
don't like it no what about oh anything else for statham nah he's done he's done some good stuff
what about schwarzenegger Best? The best decision is probably
not doing Stop or My Mom Will Shoot.
That's probably the best decision he's ever made.
I'm just going to shut that down. No, you can keep talking.
I'm just going to shut that down. Oh, fine. Whatever.
What do you reckon?
Probably, it's a tie for me.
It's probably either Terminator 2
or Terminator 3.
Nope, incorrect. Terminator 2
or True Lies.
Which doesn't get a lot of play recentlyinator 2 or True Lies okay
which doesn't get a lot of
which doesn't get a lot of play recently
True Lies is great
yeah True Lies is excellent
that was you know
that's like
see James Cameron
he's obviously a good director
correct
so I don't love Avatar
but he knew how to use that guy
yeah yeah exactly
you know what I mean
I think Stallone didn't have somebody
who knew how to utilise him
right
yeah Schwarzenegger was lucky to get James
because James Cameron
what the first two Terminators, obviously,
to realize they worked together on anything else.
James Cameron's underwater submarine adventure.
He's in that.
Aye, aye, Carpenter.
That's what he says.
He is in Titanic in the background, apparently.
You could see him in one scene.
Hence Leonardo DiCaprio briefcase.
That's right.
He's the same character from Terminator 2. Same character. The Terminator. The Terminator. Which do you think is better, Terminator 1's the same character from Terminator 2
same character
the Terminator
the Terminator
which do you think
is better
Terminator 1 or Terminator 2
Terminator 2
yeah fair enough
well you did just say that
minigun
yeah there is a minigun
I think 1's great though
I think I like them equally
it's hard to say man
what about 3
wishy washy
what about 4
let's not even mention it
with his CGI face
no none of those
I don't think 3 is that bad
a Terminator film
it's very bad let's not dwell on it we've got a lot. No, none of those. I don't think 3 is that bad a Terminator film. It's very bad.
Let's not dwell on it.
We've got a lot of characters to get through.
We've got to breeze through this.
Yeah, you're right.
Good point.
Total Recall.
Yeah, good.
Fun.
Kindergarten Cop.
Nah, don't rate it.
Commando.
Yes, great.
Conan.
We don't have to list every film they've ever done.
No, these are the good ones.
Okay, right.
Yeah, he's done a lot of films there.
Jingle All The Way.
Terrible. Commando's great because it has an iconic death. No, these are the good ones. Okay, right. Yeah, he's done a lot of films there. Jingle All The Way. Terrible.
Commando's great because it has an iconic death.
Super iconic death.
Steam?
Yes.
Let off some steam in it.
Batman and Robin, obviously.
Shut up.
No, for bad.
Oh, okay, right.
And Jingle All The Way.
Yep.
And The Expendables 3.
Yes.
And 1 and 2, probably.
And Junior, the one where he gets pregnant.
Oh, yeah.
Where does Running Man sit?
I haven't seen it in years.
I haven't seen it probably since the 90s, so I couldn't say.
It's probably bad?
That was based on a Stephen King story.
It was.
When he wrote as Richard Bachman.
It was a mystery for many years.
Because Stephen King was like, well, I can't release non-horror stuff as myself,
because nobody will buy it for some reason.
So he created this student called Richard Bachman. Very good and then many died sorry he's dead richard barkman
stephen king no he's alive stephen king's dead no he's not i'm thinking of michael crichton you're
thinking of michael crichton you're thinking of stephen king stephen king and then later like many
years later once the the truth was out he he wrote two companion novels.
One is Stephen King and one is Richard Bachman.
They were set in the same universe.
Was it to do with that one where the guy has the hat, the cowboy one?
The gunslinger, no.
No, unrelated.
But they're all sort of set in the same multiverse.
Yeah, sure.
Oh, well.
So, Schwarzenegger is pretty good sometimes.
Yeah, absolutely.
But he hasn't made it.
Not lately.
Not lately.
Nothing good for them.
When we go through these things, it's not often that... It's like the last good one was sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. But he hasn't made any... Not lately. Not lately. Nothing good for him. When we go through these things, it's not often that...
It's like the last good one was 93.
Yeah.
And the next guy's a really good example of this.
Harrison Ford.
Except for Con Air, which I think...
Not Con Air.
Which is great also.
Air Force One.
Air Force One, which I think was 97.
Uh-huh.
But he hasn't made a good movie since like...
Well, I haven't seen whatever the second one
where he's the government agent
not Patriot Games
Clear and Present Danger
is that 94?
one of them is 94
but like you look at everything after that
it's Hollywood Homicide
Firewall
Indiana Jones 4
Cowboys and Aliens
Expendables 3
yeah
like none of those are any good are they?
no
why does he keep doing stuff
I don't know
Because for money
For cash
He's rich though right
Yeah
He's got that
He's got to work though
He's got that Star Wars
Percentage of the gross money
Right
Well you've got to work
I guess don't you
Yeah I guess
What else is he going to
Play golf
Yeah just play golf
You're right
Yeah
But he
Obviously he's
Why isn't Michael Douglas
Been in one of these films
That's a good question
I mean he's not an action guy.
No.
But he could be a money guy.
He could be the exposition guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Let's just get every actor who's ever been in a film in the 80s or 90s.
Let's put him in an Expendables film.
Bruce Willis didn't make a cut in this one as well.
Harrison Ford took over his character.
Oh, I see.
Right.
Because he apparently wanted more money or whatever.
And Stallone had like...
And some character development of some kind.
He's like, look, this is the third one.
Can I have a character with some sort of interest or hobby?
Yeah, yeah.
Bruce Willis is also another one of those guys, though,
who I feel like is completely unaware of himself.
Or...
Cracked do a really good video on celebrities
who clearly have no concept of the real world.
Right.
And one of them is Bruce Willis,
and there's a bit
in it where he's
interviewed and
he's just like
he's so Hollywood
it hurts basically
right
you know what I
mean
but yeah
Dolph Lundgren
I guess
Johnny Mnemonic
Johnny Mnemonic
Universal Soldier
1, 2 and 3
he's in 3
is he in 3
he's in 3 of them
I don't know
what 3
Rocky 4 obviously He-Man ok yeah those He's in three. Is he in three? He's in three of them. I don't know what three.
Rocky IV, obviously.
He-Man.
Okay, yeah.
Those?
Boy.
If I could only pick one.
Yeah.
Rocky IV.
No, it was going to be He-Man or Johnny Mnemonic.
Okay, fair point.
He's a crazy cyber priest?
He's a cyber priest.
He's a straight preacher.
He's indestructible For some reason
Yeah great
But does that dolphin
Stop him
No he gets his head
Cut off
By the dolphin
No with a laser
Thumb whip
Dolphin lungdron
No
Oh I see
I get it
Good
I named some movies
That he's done right
Yep I'm ready
Tell me if you know
Any of these
Blackjack
No
Stormcatcher
No
Bridge of Dragons.
No.
Two of the other Universal Soldier movies.
Are these recent?
Yes.
Wow, he's had a real career resurgence since The Expendables.
Yeah, he's still got...
The dude...
He's like a...
I think he's got a chemistry-like doctorate or something.
Like, he's incredibly intelligent.
And I think that's even made mention in a recent one, or one of The Expendables movies
where... It may have happened in three, it doesn't matter.
Right.
But do you still think Expendables 3 is his worst movie?
Given that I've not seen any of these other ones?
Yes.
Yeah, I mean, something dragon something.
At least that'd have dragons in it.
Bridge of Dragons.
Bridge of Dragons.
There's a dragon, there's a bridge, probably.
There's at least one of those.
There's at least one bridge and at least two dragons,
because there's a plural in there.
There's no dragons in Expendables 3, is there?
Yeah, good point.
Mel Gibson.
Payback.
Great movie.
Yep, okay.
Yeah.
Totally worth it.
Forever Young.
Nope.
Where he's frozen, Captain America style.
Oh, then yeah, great.
Elijah Wood.
And then he ages really quickly.
Is Forever Young a direct sequel to Demolition Man?
Because Demolition Man invented freezing people.
Mad Maxes.
Oh, yep.
Lethal Weapon, probably only one and two.
The other one, I'd say it's not that good.
I'd say if he's modern-ish stuff, Payback is my favourite.
Absolutely.
Payback's great.
Yeah, yeah.
I think they've tried to...
They have recently remade that again as Parker, maybe.
Paycheck?
Yeah, Paycheck.
I'm thinking of Paycheck. Which one's Parker? The one with Stath. Paycheck? Yeah, paycheck. I'm thinking of paycheck.
Which one's Parker?
The one with Statham?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, that's the, there's, he's just sort of a famous literary character and they keep
attempting to, and Parker is this sort of kind of low rent enforcer guy.
Yeah.
Like freelance enforcer guy.
Yeah.
Who, there's been a whole series of novels by Richard Stark. He's like the Jack Reacher of whatever. Yeah, I guess guy. Yeah. Like freelance enforcer guy. Yeah. Who, there's been a whole series of novels by Richard Stark.
He's like the Jack Reacher of whatever.
Yeah, I guess so, yeah.
But he's never really got any grip in Hollywood.
Like they keep trying to, Payback is based on this one called The Hunter.
And they keep trying to, like they've made it several times and that's kind of the first
one.
Okay.
And they've never quite.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, they've never quite got...
He's never quite got any traction in Hollywood
for this series to start, like with D1,
which is a shame because it's a very good character.
Did you enjoy Bravehearts?
Yes.
He had Braveheart, didn't he?
Boy, did he.
Yeah.
Some bad stuff.
Yeah.
The Singing Detective.
Is Robert Downey Jr. also in that?
I think he might be.
Yeah, okay, yeah.
Bird on a Wire.
Oh, yep.
With Goldie Hawn. Hamlet from be. Yeah, okay, yeah. Bird on a Wire. Oh, yep. With Goldie Hawn.
Hamlet from 1990.
Oh, sure, yeah.
Yep.
Yeah.
He's good, isn't he?
I guess.
Until he went crazy.
Yep.
You're absolutely right.
He was a very charismatic kind of actor and whatever, but it's a shame that he's a lunatic.
Yeah.
Also, he looks sort of like a panda in Expendables 3.
Like some of those early establishing shots.
He's got these real sunken eyes.
He's real pale.
He's got these sunken eyes.
I'm like, is that a...
Is that a...
No, it's Mel Gibson.
Crazy Wesley Snipes.
Yep.
Demolition man.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Everybody should look up Patton Oswalt's story about Blade Trinity.
Oh, yep.
And how Wesley Snipes made that movie very difficult to film.
Uh-huh. There's actually... It's on Pete Holmes' channel. If you type in Pete Holmes, Patton Osw and how Wesley Snipes made that movie very difficult to film there's actually it's on Pete Holmes' channel
if you type in
Pete Holmes
Patton Oswalt
Wesley Snipes
he tells this story
in YouTube or just
it's on YouTube
yeah yeah
maybe I'll put it
at the end of this
but he basically
basically is talking
about how
that movie should
like he knows
it's not good
but he's like
that movie is a miracle
that it's come together
but Blade 1 and 2
are good aren't they
yeah absolutely especially 2 yeah yeah they in many ways that movie is a miracle. That it's come together. But Blade 1 and 2 are good, aren't they? Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
Especially 2...
Yeah.
Yeah.
They, in many ways,
kick-started the superhero.
Like, they would kind of test running
the superhero genre in film again, you know?
He wants to crack back into superhero movies as well.
He was talking about Robert Downey Jr.
as kind of the example.
He could be a knife guy.
He could be a knife guy.
But I don't think he kind of fits the modern Marvel Universe anymore.
I think he's too crazy.
I think he probably is, yeah.
Yeah.
And maybe that's just Expendables 3 talking, but he did seem...
Super crazy.
Super crazy, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
White Men Can't Jump.
Yep, okay, sure.
Money Train.
Yep, definitely.
I don't remember that.
The Bad Music Video. You don't remember Money Train? I remember, but, okay, sure. Money Train. Yep, definitely. I don't remember that. The Bad Music Video.
You don't remember Money Train?
I remember, but...
Okay, good.
The Michael Jackson's Bad Music Video.
There you go.
Bad.
Was he a gang member?
He's a gang member.
Great.
Yeah.
And do you remember, this is...
I mean, he's done a lot of directed DVD kind of stuff.
He did the sequel to The Fugitive called U.S. Marshals.
That wasn't directed DVD.
I saw that in the...
No, no, no, it wasn't.
Sorry, but he has done.
Okay, right.
But that's not... Robert Downey Jr. is also in that. Yeah, he is in that. Yeah. Very good, Mason. Robert Downey in the summer. No, no, no. It wasn't. Sorry, but he has done. Okay, right. But that's not...
Robert Downey Jr. is also in that.
Yeah, he is in that.
Yeah.
Very good, Mason.
Robert Downey Jr. is all over the place in these.
He sure is.
Yeah.
Sure bloody is.
I've got two left.
Antonio Banderas.
Ballistic X vs Sever.
Oh, sure.
Yep.
Desperado.
Desperado's great.
Did you like the second one?
No.
Wait.
Are we just listing things?
We're pretty much just listing things at this point, but that's what we love to do.
And the internet loves lists.
Good boy. You know what?
No, I didn't love it.
What was that called?
Once Upon a Mexico.
He's not in it that much.
Yeah, and I do enjoy it for that weird sequence
where Johnny Depp gets his eyes cut out.
Drilled out.
Drilled out, and then continues to fight for some reason.
Gunfight.
Yeah.
Some of the spy kids.
And a small child helps him aim or something? Yeah. Yeah. Spy. Gunfight. Yeah. Some of the Spy Kids. And a small child helps him aim or something?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Spy Kids as well.
Yeah.
He's in some of the Spy Kids.
Also Stallone I think
is in Spy Kids 3D.
There you go.
I'm fairly certain.
Yeah.
But I feel Desperado
is excellent.
Yeah, good action
in a time period
where there wasn't
a lot of good action.
Yeah.
El Mariachi, man.
And there was one before
that wasn't there called El Mariachi without Antonio Manderas.
Yes, that was Robert Rodriguez's sort of debut, I think.
Yeah.
And Desperado is sort of a remake of that.
Okay, cool.
Desperado.
Why don't you...
Sorry.
Last one.
Kelsey Grammer.
Transformers 4.
Great.
Yep, absolutely.
That's it? Frasier. X-Men. Okay. Thankmer. Transformers 4. Great, yep, absolutely. That's it?
Frasier.
X-Men.
Okay.
Thank you.
There we go.
I wondered how long it'd take to get to that.
Good work, everybody.
There's other people in those movies, obviously.
Who cares?
Who cares?
Rhonda Rousey, videos of her breaking people's arms.
For reals.
I hope there's a compilation of that.
Yeah, definitely.
Because I'm going to look that up.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, Mason, we've talked enough
I'd like to do a
like a proper like
best action movie
oh Jet Li anything
where he's doing anything
yeah
yeah he wasn't in it enough
was he
not at all yeah
watch Kiss of the Dragon
because it's one of those
it's that film that has weird x-ray
is it the one with Dolph Lundgren
no
but he'll like
oh it's Bridge of Dragons
sorry
somebody will get punched in the nose
and it'll cut to like an x-ray of their head
and the
the septum being shot in the brain or whatever.
I'm all for that.
Yep.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so I'd like to do like a best action movies episode at some point.
Like we'll do this properly instead of just naming things.
Yeah, sure.
We didn't mention Predator though.
Predator's amazing.
Flipped under the list.
Okay, guys, we're not mentioning Predator.
It's a shame we didn't mention Predator this whole time.
You know what it's time for, Mason?
What's it time for?
What we reading?
What we gonna read?
We did it!
We did it!
We said it in unison.
And then we didn't mention that we did that.
Hooray!
I'm doing the thing.
What are we reading today?
Jeva, what are we reading today? Actually, I do have a what we're reading. What are we gonna read? C you have a what are we reading?
Actually, I do have a what are we reading.
What are we going to read? Cobra.
No, it's not Cobra.
Can you give me one second?
The Cobra TV series.
Yes.
Do you remember that?
Not really, no.
It's real.
Fantastic.
So, yeah, what we're reading.
I actually thought of this in honour of Robin Williams.
Yeah.
Because we've been talking about Robin Williams.
I don't know if you remember that.
I remember.
We had a lot of Expendables talk.
We did.
There's a film.
It's a real downer episode.
There is a film.
And this is kind of a downer film.
Not really.
It's an excellent film.
Sure.
But it's got some downer...
Maybe wait a couple of weeks.
Okay.
And then watch this film.
Let it breathe.
It's called World's Greatest Dad.
Okay.
It's a Robin Williams film.
It's directed by Bobcat Goldthwait.
He might remember as the crazy guy
from the Police Academy films.
He's actually like a really good stand-up, isn't he?
In real life?
Why stand-up?
Ah.
He's a...
He's a human man.
I've never seen his stuff.
Okay, right.
But basically, it's about this guy who's got...
He has to get his kids back.
No, he doesn't.
Not at all.
Not at all.
Basically, it's about this guy who has...
It's Robin Williams' dad.
He's got an incredibly unlikable son.
Like, he's spectacularly unlikable in this film.
And basically, like, he's this weird sex-obsessed, like, underachiever.
He hates everybody.
You know, he's this real monster of a kid.
And basically, he dies in an autoerotic asphyxiation accident.
Jesus. kid and basically he dies in an autoerotic asphyxiation accident jesus and then his dad
fakes a suicide note from him to make him seem like this this guy with a lot this kid with a
lot more depth than he actually did ah sort of um everybody claims that he's they're friends with
this kid now like i i actually did like this guy's whatever. And then so, Robert Williams starts faking a diary
from this kid.
Okay.
And so...
It's like a dark comedy?
Yeah, it's very dark.
Yeah, yeah.
And so, perhaps not appropriate this week.
Sure.
It does show a lot of Robert Williams range.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah.
Fantastic.
What's it called?
World's Greatest Dad.
Well, I'm going to recommend
another Robert Williams dad movie.
It's called Old Dogs.
Really?
He finds out that he's got some kids.
And boy, no, don't ever watch that.
Have you really seen that?
I've seen clips of it.
Great.
Yeah, it's not good.
Yeah.
No, what I've been reading this week, Superman Red Son doesn't tie into anything that we've
been talking about.
That's the Mark Millar, I think it's three issues or four issues, I don't know, where
Superman, what would happen if Superman landed in Russia instead of the US? That's the Mark Millar, I think it's three issues or four issues, I don't know, where Superman, what would happen if Superman landed in Russia instead of the US?
Yes, that's right.
And it's fantastic.
It is good, isn't it?
Yeah.
So it's got Russian Batman.
Yep.
Which is really cool.
Yep.
It's great.
It's got still American Green Lantern.
That's right.
I bring it up because I did a video this week, Mason, it'll be out by the time you hear this,
where five ways that Batman could beat Superman without Kryptonite.
Sure.
And that ties in.
I won't mention how he does it in this one, but he does.
And it's interesting and it's a good novelle.
It's a what?
Novella.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I don't think it is, but all right.
No, it's a comic.
It's a graphic novel.
Turtle Power, though.
There's a documentary on the definitive history
of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
So it's called Turtle Power
and all those things I said.
Basically,
it goes from the creation
of the Ninja Turtles
in comic form
pretty much right up to,
in detail,
up to the end
of the first movie
and then they're kind of like,
and then we did a second one
and a third one
and it was good
and then we sold them
in 2009 or whatever. But it really goes into those early days of the teenage mutant turtles
even of the um that live stage show which we talked about the other way yeah and it's like
i'm just sad to be a shredder i hate music or whatever it is yeah there's a guy that's funny
they've got a guy in it who what's his name bad guy's gonna like music sure they can yeah
michael ian black uh was one of the turtles what yes comedy's michael ian black yeah tv's the state and lots
of other stuff it's pretty tv's ed that's right yeah and he's got that podcast about snacks yeah
absolutely michael and tommy eat snacks yeah so yeah if you like the ninja turtles and you like
michael ian black yeah and it's it's got very little to do with the new one okay turtle power
yeah so it's not like you can get digital download or something yeah yeah cool yeah it's it's not like and now we've got the best you know
but a lot of these things are built around because there's a new movie yeah i'm sure that that ties
in but they don't really talk about the new movie at all they you kind of see like picture still
frames of the posters at one point but it's mostly like the early day stuff and there's a lot of
stuff about how they made the first Ninja Turtles and how much
of a nightmare it was to get funding and how the suits were making, like one guy threw
up inside the turtle helmet.
Just like stuff like that.
And it's great.
It goes for about an hour.
Okay, cool.
Like interviews with, you know, a whole lot of cast and crew and the voice actors from
the show.
Yeah, yeah.
It's really good.
Sounds really good.
And it doesn't sound like it relates to the death of a beloved actor.
So, yeah. You probably made a better choice this week. Sure. Or whatever. Absolutely. So, yeah. It's really good. It sounds really good, and it doesn't sound like it relates to the death of a beloved actor. So you probably made the better choice this week.
Sure.
Or whatever.
Absolutely.
So, yeah.
That's what we're reading for this week, Mason.
Love it.
All right.
Got a few emails.
Okay, I'm ready.
As I said.
We got thousands of emails.
So many good emails.
But these are the ones that I've picked out.
Yep.
This is from...
Do you have any particular method for picking out a good email?
No.
Is there something...
I was going to say?
Sometimes it's just that I get a chance to read it more than I'll get a chance to read another one.
Right.
Because it just caught me at a particular time.
Okay, right.
But yeah.
This is from Navid K.
Greetings from Bangladesh.
Oh.
Love your podcast.
I'm the biggest comic book movie fan you'll find here.
Keep up the excellent work.
P.S. Mason, can't believe you haven't finished watching Game of Thrones yet.
How do you sleep at night? That's from Liam. I sleep can't believe you haven't finished watching Game of Thrones yet. How do you sleep at night?
That's from Liam. I sleep on a big pile
of unopened Game of Thrones DVDs.
That's what I do. Still in the
shrink wrap. What's anybody gonna
do about it? Not a damn thing. That's right.
No, I just thought it was interesting.
Thank you for the email. He's the biggest comic
book movie fan you'll find in Bangladesh.
When I looked this up, Bangladesh
has a population of, as of 2012, of 157.4 million people.
So congratulations.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
Good work.
Thank you for the email.
And thank you for doing, like, being the best.
Any other Bangladeshi listeners who want to challenge that, please get onto us.
That's it.
That's cool, isn't it?
Bangladesh.
Love it.
This is from Tim Smith.
I'm ready.
Remember we talked about how last week Dave Coulier was a big dickhead?
Yes.
Well, here's another email about how Dave Coulier is a real dickhead.
While in college, I worked at a family restaurant in Pennsylvania,
which is a state in the US for Dem Australian folks.
I know that.
Yeah, we know that.
Where Dracula's from.
Pennsylvania Dutch.
There we go, yes.
And Dave Coulier was performing stand-up at a nearby college.
He decided to come to the restaurant I worked,
where he proceeded to be a dickhead to all the staff
and complain about his meal,
which was then given to him for free since he bitched.
He also left without tipping.
What a jerk.
Poor form.
Yeah.
This segment should be called Dave Cruelier,
because of how cruel he is to people for no reason.
Seems to me there's a trend with Dave Cruelier just bitching to get free stuff.
Guess those full house residuals are just not cutting it.
That's right.
That dude would be mega rich, right?
No, I don't know if he is.
Maybe that's in the era before people negotiated good contracts for TV stuff.
Okay, fair point.
Don't be a dick to people.
Yeah, I know, right?
I understand it.
Thanks, Tim. Thank you. Thank. Don't be a dick to people. Yeah, I know, right? I understand it. Thanks, Tim.
Thank you.
Thank you for adding
to Dave Crullier.
Should we make that
the last Dave Crullier
segment?
No.
Okay, so have you got...
Well, I mean,
it depends how many...
It certainly will be
if nobody sends
another one in.
Somebody...
Start a subreddit thing.
What if he's our
arch nemesis?
What if he becomes
our arch nemesis?
That'd be great.
I reckon I could
beat up Dave Crullier.
Yeah.
I always see him on, like,
or I have seen him on, you know,
The Last Comic Standing,
and he's a judge,
and he's like,
you just don't got what it takes.
Fucking, you lucked into your career, Dave Coulier.
You shouldn't be telling people anything.
Anyway, this is Raphael from Poland.
Here in our exotic country of Poland,
all Marvel movies from Thor onwards
were distributed only in 3D.
2D versions are...
Banned.
For moral reasons.
2D versions were only available with crappy Polish dubbing,
which everyone hates even more than 3D.
That's brutal.
So back in June, a lot of people decided to organise and create a petition
for Guardians in 2D.
The petition was signed by a thousand plus people,
and that little civil action gave us the ability to see the movie
Without eyebleeds
In glorious 2D
Love it
Farrah the people
There we go
Of Poland
That's great
How good is that?
Yeah yeah
We're sick of bloody 3D
And they got another series of Firefly
Did they?
Good on you Poland
Good on ya
Yeah
You did it
Well I'm sick of all those Polish dubs we get here as well
I know right
Maybe we should start a bloody petition.
I think so.
I should go to Poland.
Have you been to Poland?
No.
Yeah.
One day.
One day.
All right.
Last letter, Mason, before we get out of here, before we hit the old frog and toad.
That's road.
Yeah, I know.
I get it.
I'm familiar with our Australian slang.
Good.
Hey.
This is from...
All right.
Steady on, mate.
I've got the name here, so I apologise.
Sorry for emailing you again.
Not really.
Who was this?
I can't remember.
Anyway, I just saw the trailer for Arrow Season 2 on Channel 9.
Yes, I'm Australian.
So, yeah, like us.
And the way it advertised...
We're just like you, listeners.
We watch Channel 9 as well sometimes.
Boy, do we.
And the way the advert it was
advertised was like this tv sexy tv's sexiest man is back sorry this is fucking deathstroke season
and they and they are advertising it like that yeah not happy now look i just wanted to bring
this up yes australian ads for tv shows are the worst uh-huh right because it's like a lot of the
time for every drama if there's a drama, in the ad they'll
show like a little bit of drama and then someone will go, so much drama.
Have you noticed that?
Yeah, absolutely.
Like shit like that.
Or like, there's not like, they'll be like, there's a secret in this town.
There's always a secret.
And then someone says, what's the secret?
Yeah.
Every commercial.
Yeah.
Right?
Uh-huh.
It's the worst. I've watched commercials in years, but I'm glad to see that the secret? Yeah. Every commercial. Yeah. Right? Uh-huh. It's the worst.
I've watched commercials in years, but I'm glad to see that the trend is continuing.
Well, Mason, I've been watching The Bachelor.
Yeah, Australian television is terrible in general, even the stuff that's good that they
occasionally show.
Uh-huh.
I don't like it.
Great.
And I wish it would all go away.
But there is like, there's rules in here, so you have to have a certain amount of Australian
content.
Mm-hmm. There's one good show
that just came out though,
Working Dog.
Utopia.
Utopia.
Did you watch the first episode?
You've got a few friends
in that though, haven't you?
I do.
My friend Luke is in that show.
Yeah.
He's the redhead guy?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a good dude.
Great stand-up comedian.
Correct.
And Celia Paquola.
Celia Paquola is also in that.
You know her?
Yeah.
You know her as well, yeah, yeah.
So yeah, exciting times.
That's a good show.
Everything else is terrible.
If you can somehow,
listeners in America, if you can somehow get that
yeah it's on
it's on Pirate Bay
I'm pretty sure
great
well no
actually I don't know
for a fact
it probably would be
it's on iview
which is the Australian
ABC
we'll edit this out
doesn't matter
that's the show though Mason
great
you did it
I don't feel like
this was a great one
to be honest
really I thought
it was real good
nah I don't know
I just feel like let's delete and start, to be honest. Really? I thought it was real good. Nah, I don't know. I just feel like...
Let's delete and start again.
I got another hour.
Let's do this.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I mean...
We had some laughs.
We did have some laughs.
Good point.
Yeah, good one.
Are you disappointed because we just listed a lot of things?
Yeah, maybe.
All right.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Yeah, we had fun.
Who cares?
I'm mostly in this for me, I'll be honest.
We've got to thank...
And this glass of water you got me.
Absolutely. It's a mug of water. Bruton the Basilisk. We haven't been thanking them lately. I know, I'll be honest. We've got to thank... And this glass of water you got me. Absolutely.
It's a mug of water.
Bruton the Basilisk.
We haven't been thanking them lately.
I know, right?
I forgot.
As soon as I left last week, I'm like, oh, goddammit.
These guys are the best.
Thank you for the theme songs.
But what have you done for us lately?
No, I'm just joking.
The theme songs are there every week and we really appreciate it.
Yeah, they're great.
Check out the Reddit, guys.
Absolutely.
We'll try and get some accounts this week and get into it.
Reddit.com slash r slash weekly planner podcast absolutely and as i mentioned um i got that
batman how batman could beat superman video i'm trying to get a video on cracked right
i'm sure the forums the last one the guy's like this is good but he's like but it's not good
enough and i'm like that's that's fair yeah fair but non-specific yeah no he was no he did give
some reason so that's my goal at the moment i I'm trying to get a video on Cracked.
Because I like Cracked.
But they have really good video content.
So I'm going to try and make better videos.
That's my goal for this week.
And then something shiny will go past me.
And it'll change.
So yeah, anything you want to plug?
Nope, that'll do it.
What about your Twitter?
Oh yeah, I'm on Twitter at Wikipedia Brown.
We're all on the Twitters.
You're at MrSundayMovies.
And you can find us at Weekly Planet Pod on Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, and Reddit.
Yeah.
Wait, not on Reddit.
Maybe we should change it to Weekly Planet Pod, the subreddit.
Is there a way to change it?
I don't know.
We'd have to ask the guy that made it.
Yeah, good point.
Nah, it's too late.
Don't worry about it.
Yeah, who cares?
Whatever.
Yeah.
That's the show for this week, Mason.
Absolutely.
Should I put that Patton Oswalt story in after?
Yeah, put it at the end
it sounds good
alright cool
thank you everybody
thanks listeners
grab that gem
grab it
which is our sign off now
hashtag grab that gem
until we think of a better one
absolutely
okay bye
have a good week
I just had Adam Scott
on the show
oh
we talked a little bit
about Blade
the movie Blade comic book Blade yeah and then I was reminded by my producers were you Adam Scott on the show. We talked a little bit about Blade.
Blade. Comic book Blade. And then I was
reminded by my producers, were you
in Blade?
Oh, I wish I was in Blade.
The first two movies are fantastic.
I am in
Blade Trinity, which
is...
No.
No.
Here's what I'll say about Blade Trinity.
If you watch... And by the way,
I'm friends with the writer-director, and he agrees with me on this.
If you just sit and watch Blade Trinity,
it's a D-.
It just doesn't work.
But if you know what they went through to get that movie made,
it is an A+.
The fact that that movie exists
puts it above Citizen Kane.
The fact that they... With all it above Citizen Kane. The fact that they
with all the craziness that
went down. We were in Vancouver
and Wesley Snipes was
going crazy and he wouldn't
come out of his trailer and you'd walk
by his trailer and this wall
of pot stents
would just be like, whoa
and kind of push you to the side and then
he would only answer to the name Blade.
You couldn't call him...
He would only answer to Blade?
To Blade, yeah.
And after a while, he resorted to just...
He would communicate with Post-its that he would give to the director,
and each one he would sign Blade.
And also, you know that it's
a totally
science fiction-y fantasy film because
there's a scene where I play basketball
against a tall black guy and totally stuff
on him.
That's the most unbelievable thing.
That's where you're like, vampires could
take over. Wait, did Patton
just stuff on a 6'3 black
dude? Who wrote this crap?
It was that bad.
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