The Worst Idea Of All Time - Episode Eight - Nutella Town
Episode Date: June 21, 2016SPONSORED BY BIGPIPE.CO.NZTim attempts to become the Zacole. He's dived right into the soundtrack of We Are Your Friends which is setting a dangerous precedent for absorption of the product. Meanwhile..., in the movie, phone calls start crossing interdimensional bounds and land in the Entourage universe. Johnny Depp is a tiny ant man. Tim Gunn is a ham. "Improv is a tragedy within comedy" - Tim Batt; June, 2016. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time, episode number 8.
This episode is brought to you by bigpipe.co.nz
Who else, honestly, who else at this point did you think would do you the great service of bringing you this episode?
Surprise, it's the same sponsor we've had for a little while now.
You know him, you love him, high speed, cheap internet and New Zealand only,
thus we are only talking to a minority of the total audience.
Don't you just love it?
Yeah, and don't you...
Did you just burp into the mic?
No, I swallowed into my throat.
Oh, okay.
It was the exact opposite.
Okay, we'll go with that.
I wouldn't do that and neither would Big Pipe.
I've never ever had any Big Pipe employee approach me,
burp into a microphone in front of me yeah and in exchange you also adopt
their role because they've adopted yours of not throttling people yeah no throttling it's a real
group effort it is it is 200 mips up and did you just burp then i was gonna say big pipe oh i can't
see your mouth so i don't know what caused that sound i don't burp
okay do you want to know the god's honest truth tim i can't burp i've done like five burps in my
life i didn't drink fizzy drink as a child i know that i never learned how to process the carbon
like i can't on cue i can't burp this is me trying to burp what's that i don't know that felt like a
burp that's not as gross gross Bigpipe.co.nz
If you're in New Zealand and you need internet
Make sure you go there
Don't burp at your friends
Go to bigpipe.co.nz
Use the code word worst
Tell them we sent you
Are you going to play that dastardly intro again?
Intro, intro, intro, intro
Ow!
This movie's still fine
This is a colleague of mine
One of them dies, that that guy's a squirrel.
One of them's a hottie, and his name is Jay.
One of them looks like Johnny Depp, and his name is Johnny Depp.
Classic Maximum Joseph.
Agree!
Ah!
You forget that films are supposed to have a point.
Hello and welcome to the worst idea of all time.
My name's Guy Montgomery.
My name is Tim Batt.
Welcome, welcome.
We're in one place for once.
That's right.
We're all in the one place, just like we talked about.
We watched the movie together.
It was quite fun, actually.
Swapping notes, swapping tips, things to look out for, things to avoid.
You know what I'm saying?
Because we went and watched the movie apart for, say, three weeks.
Yeah.
We watched it together.
All the stuff that we noticed but failed to bring up in the podcast,
we'd, like, look at the, we'd nudge each other.
This there bit?
See that bit there?
And then I'd be like, yeah, I noticed it, but I didn't say anything.
But I was hoping you'd notice it, too.
I noticed you noticing it.
And they're so unmemorable that unless there's a visual cue,
it's quite literally impossible to conjure the image
of what we were nudging each other about in your head.
When you fucking find it, I don't know how to turn it on silent
I'm sorry
It's probably the same way you turn every phone on silent
There we go
Just turn the volume thingy down
Yeah, it's crazy
For all the changes they make to phones, that is the one
consistent. This movie had me
it had me, it had me, it lost
me big time
and then that quite cool song that comes in for the end credits kicked in
and then it grabbed me again.
For how long did it have you?
Had me for a surprisingly long amount of time.
I would say right up until...
I'm trying to remember the chronology.
It's a glowing review of how in its grips
the movie had you
I feel like I was in there
Evidently not
Club, fine
Screw having sex with Sarah in the car, fine
Them getting stiffed at the cliff
Super early
Fine
Actually right up until after going to work for Page, fine.
Still really early in the movie.
Playing the party, fine.
It's when...
It's probably just before they go to Vegas or something like that.
Yeah?
Yeah, something around there.
That's not that long.
That's still probably roughly...
It's longer than it should be for that movie and the amount of time.
We talked about it, though.
The reason that it clips along is because of the...
It's the soundtrack.
Yeah, definitely.
It's got...
What it has going for it is that electronic music,
upbeat electronic music, and by its very nature,
it sort of just keeps things ticking along.
It's why people stay in the club on Rat Poison until 7am.
Because the music just keeps your body on autopilot.
It's very primal.
I was going to say tribal, but it predates tribal.
It's primal.
It's in there.
It's like it's heartbeat, you know?
It's really, it's working on some very base human levels.
The music's kind of the attention equivalent of, you know,
when you fall asleep and your body just does that involuntary jolt?
Yeah. It's like, Yeah, that kind of falling thing
So the music is that jolt
to be like, you're still watching a movie
You're still alive
So then what is the
shit music that starts coming in where I
lose it?
If this movie had different music
it would be so much worse
You downloaded the soundtrack
Yeah I did.
Listened to it on Spotify.
Went for a run with it on, actually.
I went full Zuccoli.
Yeah, that is some intense research.
Full Zuccoli.
What were you thinking about when you were running to this music?
I was just trying to go to the distance.
It was being like cake.
You were just focusing on... Going for distance, going for speed.
I was all alone in my hour of need
because you're in Australia.
We don't run together.
We just watch the film together.
But that was all.
It didn't like...
You weren't thinking about making a track or anything?
You were just like...
No, I wasn't thinking about making a track.
I was running away, listening to...
I like the idea that you run to the...
I like the amount of research you're doing
by going running to the
we are your friends soundtrack that's exactly what zach efron does some of them are clunkers
but a lot of them are good tracks what stands out to you i can't remember the titles of any of them
but that one that comes on for the end credits is it called sunlight i don't know i don't know
what it's called but that's a that's a banging track. It's a good track.
All of your praise for the movie and then also the soundtrack,
I feel like your enjoyment of it is so relative
because when you're talking about the movie, you're like,
yeah, I was enjoying it, and then you can't remember anything about it,
and the soundtrack, can't remember anything about it.
Yep.
True.
You're measuring how good it is against itself yeah
i guess that's if anything that is exactly what the podcast is yeah precisely you're living it
though to it it's sort of it's creeping into your life outside of the microphone yeah which is not
good that's not a good territory to be in it took right up until season three i feel like for the
first two seasons we've been very good at being safe and keeping ourselves um just good and happy
and safe and we haven't we put up some pretty big barriers between what goes on in the few hours
where we watch the movie and record the podcast and everything else in our lives but those barriers
are starting to crumble the walls are coming tumbling down.
It's not good.
It's not good.
It's not a good thing.
Cause if you start letting a project like this infect the rest of your life,
you know,
yeah.
Those crumbly tumbling walls will come crashing down.
I've,
um,
I haven't listened to all of the podcasts back,
but you know,
we get a lot of notes on people who listen
and they're like, I'm worried about you.
We get into the 30s.
We get into the late 20s, the 30s, the 40s.
And people get worried about how depressed we sound.
Imagine if that started to permeate all of the rest of my life.
So if your friends were like, hey, Tim, I'm worried about.
Yeah, well, if like, so in the same way that i've gone full to coley by going for
uh and i don't want to say runs because i did it one time going for a run with the soundtrack
onto this movie uh but if i just like carry around the feelings that i have of having to
watch this film again and again into a time that isn't the window when we record the podcast
it could be very damaging i think people would just get
sick of spending i think yeah you would lose friends yeah lose lose a girlfriend for as long
as the house how would you lose your house i feel like um if i became a mopey asshole as a result of
the podcast and my girlfriend was like this fuck this i'd be like all right i'll go i'll see myself out you'd see the podcast out
you see yourself out to see the podcast out yeah wait no you're no i don't mean like
are you trying to make me choose between my girlfriend the podcast i'm just because
i'm just probably gonna lose that i'm just framing the language you're using no more like um
um i if if if i if me and my girlfriend broke up i'd probably leave this
this flat and i love this flat okay yeah that's what i was saying by that and it's so custom
built for the podcast we're in this dope little studio yeah she's a little glass box
and that's uh that's where our emotions live. Within the glass box.
And that's the thing, Guy. We've got to keep them trapped in here.
Bouncing off the walls. We can't let them get
out. That's why we've got to keep the door closed all the
time. You shut that door.
Suppress those feelings.
What about we talk about something you liked
about the movie?
What about we talk about something
you liked about the movie? I can tell you
the thing I liked about the movie? I can tell you.
The thing I liked about the movie this week,
my shining light, if you will,
is that it was actually very early,
and it's always upsetting when you notice... Actually, no, it's not upsetting,
because you don't notice a shining light to the end of the movie,
but you kind of do, because it can be difficult to remember,
so you file it away.
And what I filed away was very early in the film
when it's just after Jarhead's closed on getting $5.70 or something
for every $5.70 or $7 a head.
$7 a head, yeah, for every head he brings into the club.
Yep.
And then he walks into the kitchen.
He's on the phone to someone else.
Turtle.
Yeah, he's hung up on the club manager and called up Turtle from Entourage.
And they walk into the kitchen and Zicoli's doing the dishes or something.
And Jahid pulls out a jug, a big sort of two-gallon bottle of OJ from the fridge.
And Zicoli extends an empty glass like, hey, man, could I please have some orange juice?
And Jahid just goes, no juice.
Yeah.
And just drinks it himself straight from the bottle
like he's monitoring his diet
like he's a personal trainer
but I hadn't noticed before that Jahid
just out and out rejects
Zicole's request for some juice
I feel like they do have that kind of relationship
and actually at one point Jahid does
say when he first meets James Reid
of the Feelers, I'm basically
this guy's manager. We should talk.
Yeah, but he's all over the map
because during that meeting,
he also bros James Reid from the Feelers.
And that does break his one cardinal rule of engagement,
which is don't bro me if you don't know me.
I respect that.
It's true.
It's right.
But that's because he's kind of starstruck.
He's like, oh my God,
it's the James Reid of the Feelers. That's a fucking big deal. You want to talk kind of starstruck he's like oh my god it's the James Reid of the feelers
that's a fucking big deal. You want to talk about being starstruck
how about Johnny Depp's bloody social
breakdown in that moment
and he's like
yeah no we met before we promoted the
love you play at
James Reid
quite kindly I think quite generously
says nice to meet you boys
they've showed up unannounced to a pool party he's having at his own house James Reid quite kindly, I think, quite generously says, you know, nice to meet you boys.
They've showed up unannounced to a pool party he's having at his own house,
I think.
It's his place, right?
Yeah, it's his place.
And so he's like, hey, nice to meet you boys.
You know, make yourselves at home, grab a drink, da-da-da.
On one end, Jarhead's melting down.
That is the fucking point where you go, thanks, bro.
Cheers.
Thanks, man.
And you go and you make yourself a little bit comfortable at the party. You ingiate yourself with the guests they do none of that the first thing they brought nothing to drink by the way nothing nothing but their dumb selves jarhead
comes in hard and fast it's like yo bro we should have lunch sometime and basically this guy's
manager so we should talk and uh referring to zikle and Johnny Depp goes
actually we've met before
we promote social on a Thursday
it's like you're fucking blowing it bro
you sound like a petty tiny ant man
you're a tiny ant man Johnny Depp
and that's why you'll never get a role
because no one will work with you on set
it's like you land some big, huge A-list movie somehow
with like Gwyneth Paltrow.
Just for clarity, Tim's talking about the character Johnny Depp
in the movie is a wannabe actor, but he's just got no social grace.
Yeah.
He'd be like, Gwyneth Paltrow would be like, hey, nice to meet you.
You know, looking forward to working with you.
He'd be like, actually, we've met before.
I used to work in a Whole Foods in the Hollywood Hills
and you came in one time.
I'm amazed you didn't remember.
It's like, just fucking be chill, Johnny Depp.
Christ.
Not everyone has to remember when everyone met, okay?
It was in a fucking club where he was DJing.
He probably met you for a split second.
There's no evidence that he actually met.
They were just in the same room.
We don't see it as an audience.
That's not meeting.
I hasten to add.
You pedant.
Pedant?
Pedantic.
Is that the noun of pedantic?
Yeah.
The person who is pedantic is a pedant.
Yeah.
The more you know, eh?
Knowledge is power.
They say that, and I believe them.
Why wouldn't you?
I'm going to a little bit piggyback off
your shining light to remind myself of one of the short list and i'm going to use it in this one
which is where uh there's a couple times in this movie where there are cameos by famous djs they
quite right had no fucking idea who they were until people on the facebook group kept being
like hey dudes you know that that's this guy.
Such and such.
This electronic DJ is a real big deal.
We were like, oh, shit.
I just thought it was some guy who couldn't act very well. And accordingly, that's definitely a gag for the Tiger audience of the movie,
that it's like the people who he's getting to cover him
or kicking off the decks are actually big DJs.
They're fucking good on Maximum Joseph for leaning into it
and putting some stuff in there for the electronic fans.
Absolutely.
Good on you, bro. That's like in how Tim
is in from
what's it from
Project... What's it called?
Today, Junior.
In Sex and the City 2,
Tim, whose last name I forget, is from
that fashion reality TV show
Project Runway?
That's what it's called, in the States.
He's got one line.
It's a cameo for the target audience, which is the gal.
It's going out for a night.
Awkward times two.
That's pretty good.
That was pretty close.
Yeah, it was a little hammy, but yeah, it was good.
He's a little hammy, to be honest.
He's a little ham.
He's a tiny little ham, that man.
Tim Ham, the brother of John.
So anyway, one of these DJs...
One of them was born a human, the other a ham.
One of these DJs is, I think, the guy who swaps slots
after Jarhead's intervention with his phone call
before he talks to Turtle, he talks to the
club owner
and so he, Zicoli's
there in the club and he hands off to DJ
Devin and Devin's a real DJ in the real world
Devin hands off to Zicoli
and then there's that failed fist bump
which was one of the moments we nudged each other
that's what I'm getting up to
so Squrill extends his
closed fist out
for a fist bump
and does not receive it
which I don't know
if it was
you know
if it was improved
by Skrill
I maintain that
we should
each week
find a scene
within the movie
that was definitely
improved
like the Bowie scene
a segment brought to us
by UCB
yeah
called No But that's good I like that like the bowie segment brought to us by ucb yeah called no but
that's good i like that a clever play on yes and for those of you who aren't ingratiated in the
improv world for those of you who aren't improv buffs i assume everyone there is no
sad sentence like whenever i try to um have a conversation and mention
someone who's in snort which is your improv group that you're a part of and i say the word
credibility by your improv group there's no way to say that without it sounding so sad
there's something about saying saying out loud someone's improv group that is just decimatingly sad yeah it's um
i don't know what it is it's a tragedy within comedy you're not wrong because improv's a fun
it's a fun thing to go and see like when it's done well it's really magical it's a great thing
but when it's done poorly i think it's done poorly so often i think that's the problem
there's a lot of bad improv out there.
And there's never a, you can't stop people putting on shows.
There's no quality control.
So you get a lot of people going to bad improv and then it's sort of.
I think the problem is with the audience there.
Bad improv is in and of itself probably more enjoyable than good improv.
You just have to embrace what you're watching and be like, you know what?
On a level, this is as funny as something can be.
Like a bunch of balding 30-year-old dudes in Converse
going like, oh my God, we're at the aquarium.
And this is the fucking type too.
He's too tall.
He's probably got thick rimmed glasses
and he has prematurely started balding like a very receding head. It's out of there in a hurry. Someone's always too tall, he's probably got thick rimmed glasses, and he has prematurely started balding,
like a very receding hairline.
It's out of there in a hurry.
Someone's always too tall.
Yeah.
And accordingly, they got confused being tall
with being funny when they were growing up.
It's dangly people find,
because improv is such an accepting group
that you get the biggest miscreants
who get indoctrinated into the fold
thinking that they've got this talent
what's your main comic trait well i'm i'm quite tall i'm taller than most people i hasten to add
at this point that guy is not a small glass of water what are you rocking six four six three six
three six three we don't need to dwell on that you're good at it though i will say that i just
want to make sure i think you've made
your point pretty fucking clear i want to make sure i put that stamp on it so to take the takeaway is
whenever you talk about an improv group it's sad we've just got to come up with another way of
talking about it it's like online bullying or something my team of make-believers? Oh, the worst.
Oh, boy.
To coin a phrase from Jason Manzuckers.
What I want to talk about, Tim,
is we've spoken about this character in passing,
but it was an interesting thought.
So when they're at the party,
and they're at the Stanford party,
and those two kind of douchey dudes
are being sort of derogatory about Sophie. two douchey dudes being douchey yeah uh and but when
we first meet them when they're taught when he's talking one-on-one with her uh and he's like so
what do you do and it's a sort of it's quite a close frame of his face and he's just got one of
those faces which i think you said you want to close your fist and approach.
Yeah.
And you're exactly right.
And it's so palpable and obvious.
And we were sort of saying, you know, how do you...
Cast for that?
Yes.
For the most punchable face?
Like what's the casting call?
What's the description in the script?
You get all kinds of casting calls.
I know Quentin tarantino
um recently got in a lot of hot water for doing a casting call because he used the word whores i
think he's making a western like another western at the moment and uh it was actually it turned out
to be a woman who was the casting director who put the casting call out into the the trades or
whatever um but yeah point being all kinds of so there was probably a casting call for most
punchable face dude yeah you're showing it well yeah i've i've run into a bit of trouble with my
face before people seem to not like me and i can't quite figure out why it would have been a heck of
an audition because it's just like hey man can you just like say a couple things just riff and this
guy's talking and just like the casting director and Maximum Joseph are there just tensing up.
And they're like, yep, you're good.
Get the fuck out of here.
I don't want to see you moments before we shoot.
Before they cast them, just to make sure they've got, because, you know, they might, I don't know.
The thing that they have to say is, okay, that's great.
Now what we need to do is please say something antagonistic
towards, like, come really close
to my face and antagonise me
because you know, if you're casting
you want the best possible person for that role
and what better way
to find out how punchable
someone's base is
test it, test the waters
test those punchable waters
and the kid's got the goods.
He does.
And I feel mean saying that
because you don't want to say anyone's got a...
Maybe he's just a really good actor
and he's convinced us through being so good at acting
that he does have a punchable face.
But if we saw him in a different role
where that wasn't his role,
we would believe that too, you know?
It's absolute madness that people do have like
how unfortunate because people with a punchable face they're usually it's not that you know what
it is it's that generally in my experience i think this is true people who have seemingly
punchable faces are the visual depiction of a stereotype that you hate. So, like, for him, there's something,
and especially because it's in the context of the Stanford party,
it's like, that is that upper-class, white, only-child,
selfish, entitled cuntbag
that is, like, on the peripheral
of your sort of teenage experience growing up.
Yeah, yeah.
And he plays polo or something.
And he's just like a real fucking arsehole.
Very insecure because he doesn't have a good relationship
with his own father because his dad's always off
doing merchant banking overseas.
And so he lashes out at kids in the high school or whatever.
And he's a person you don't have a ton of contact with,
but either you see depicted on film or TV a lot,
or he's on the peripherals of your life somehow.
Yeah, that's true.
His face just seems to scream all of that
by being that exact set of features.
Well, yeah, it's more than a face, isn't it?
It's a shirt and a sweater and oil in the hair.
He is wearing like a woolen knitted uh sweater from memory a it looks like
i think it's like a pink cashmere sweater okay and he's yeah he's wearing like an oxford button
down shirt underneath it very british teeth as well you know like a lot of teeth which i hate
to bring up because everyone in america seems to really fucking go you guys go fucking crazy for teeth. Shit.
Yeah, you throw money. No other country, I don't think, prioritizes teeth as much as America.
It's the craziest thing.
You throw money and bleach at your teeth, and you chip your teeth,
and you get poison in your mouth, and you go to the dentist,
and you wind up paying twice the price.
You look good doing it, goddammit.
You yanks.
Tell you what.
Yeah, but accordingly, they are obsessed with the notion
that or maybe it's just family guy and it's just bled through into uh because family guys always
make in front of british people with their teeth yeah well if i was american and i saw anyone else
it'd be like disgusting because you just live in a bubble of everyone having amazing teeth
they really prioritize it big time i've got fucked up teeth because my dad's british that's
how it works and i didn't get braces at any point should have didn't refuse would you get adult
braces um i actually there was when i went to the dentist uh recent like i said recently about a
year and a half ago my dentist was like heybo, your teeth are a bit fucked up.
I'm learning how to be an orthodontist.
Do you want me to try this new shit on you?
And I'll do it like for cost price.
So you'll only pay for the parts
because I need to do it three times under supervision
to gain my like qualification.
And I thought about it
because it was a saving of about $4,000.
And then I was like, nah, I kind of like having fucked up teeth
because it's like a way of going,
there's nothing functionally wrong with them.
They just look a bit fucked up.
And we're all different.
They're good chompers.
We're all different.
And we should all celebrate that, you know?
Do you love a bargain, though?
Love a bargain.
Oh, you know I love a bargain, too. I get in all kinds of trouble because I love a bargain, though? Love a bargain. Oh, you know I love a bargain, too.
I get in all kinds of trouble because I love a bargain.
I'll buy shit just because of how much the discount is.
And that's probably the bit that took me closest to the edge of getting it.
Yeah, there's always a good framework, eh?
It's like $50 off, it's only $100 now.
I'm pretty much only paying $50 for this thing.
But what are you buying?
And it's irrelevant to that point.
It doesn't even matter.
A mini disc player.
We've gotten way off track.
Yeah, that's all right.
And I feel fine.
Yeah.
What watch are we up to now?
That was number eight, I believe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you're right.
It's tricky because the friend zones are like just,
they're close to but not exactly aligned
with how many times we've watched the movie
and that will always be the case.
You've got to stop measuring it against the friend zone.
I'm not.
I'm just saying there's numbers in my head
associated with this thing
and I confuse one with the other quite a bit.
I don't have any numbers in my head.
I spurned all numbers.
Did you?
Yeah, I've replaced them all with words.
So I've increased my vocabulary by infinity
because that's how many numbers there are.
It's like the opposite of that show that,
is it Isaac Oscar or Oscar Isaac used to be in?
Oscar Isaac.
Yeah.
That good looking actor.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's an actor and yes, he's good looking.
He's also very fucking talented,
you superficial putz.
I don't know.
I can never get past his eyes.
He does have good eyes.
Oh, now he's a superficial putz.
Really good eyes.
Well, now that you've brought it up, he's...
Do you know the show I'm talking about?
The other show, Numbers, where he was a cop and his brother was a cop.
Or maybe he wasn't a cop.
Maybe he was a mathematician.
He was like a PhD mathematician. His brother was a cop and his brother was a cop or maybe he wasn't a cop maybe he was a mathematician he was like a phd mathematician his brother was a cop and they
used to solve crimes together because he was all mathsy about it but you're doing the opposite
you're like everything will be not using numbers rather than everything i am having huge amounts
of trouble buying goods and services everywhere i go you we've just got to put it in terms you understand so it's like how much is this loaf of bread
it's like
it is
about a thousandth of a car
about a thousandth of your car
what's a thousandth
oh true dang
yeah that is tricky isn't it
yeah I haven't eaten for weeks
I don't know how to get food.
I guess you could just operate on a basis of when you're hungry,
you just throw food in your mouth.
You know, you're not paying attention to anything,
which in some ways is a way simpler way to live.
You know, you don't measure shit out.
You're just like, this looks right.
This looks good to me.
There's always too much flour in your pancakes though.
True.
Baking's out, definitely.
I think you can cook, though.
I don't measure anything when I cook.
You just vibe it.
That's the beauty of it.
That's you in a nutshell, isn't it?
Mm-hmm.
Just in a nutshell, vibing it.
Yeah.
Banging on the walls.
That's not me in a nutshell.
This is me in a nutshell.
Help, help.
I'm in a nutshell.
I haven't seen Austin Powers in over a decade,
and I feel like I need to correct that.
Yeah, I watched it on a plane recently.
Did it hold up?
Yeah, it's really good.
It's good.
It's good.
Zac Efron feels like, of all the people that we have thrown a spotlight on
through the two seasons we've done before in this podcast,
in terms of like an a
lister i'm being generous with that term i'll call him an a list he is you're not being generous he
is a massive a lister i feel like he would be the most attainable person for us to sit down with and
watch the film at some point near the end of the um end of the run zach efron is way out of our
league but he seems cool he seems like a dude i don't be into a cool idea
i don't doubt and he seems willing to um have a bit of a giggle at himself and his work as well
what gives you the impression uh i'm not sure i think because i don't i i like it's not like i'm
on e or any the drug or the website um i don't like gossip best consumed together but when you live in in the present
time you can't help but get a bit osmosis celebrity information just yeah you know
absolutely soaked into you and the impression that i get of zach efron is that he's a pretty
chill dude who doesn't take himself overly seriously seems like a hard worker. Seems like a pretty nice man.
Yeah, that doesn't mean that he's any more reachable.
Yes, it does.
That directly means he's more reachable.
How are you going to reach out to Zac Efron?
I don't know.
Give Twitter a go.
Yeah.
The great leveler.
Twitter.
Yeah.
Do you reckon he does his own tweets?
I suspect he does.
I don't think he does.
I want to believe it.
No way.
You don't think?
Outsource that.
Twitter's no place for someone who everyone's talking about.
It'd be a nightmare.
Oh, yeah, actually,
because then you've got to read your own ones as well.
Just like hordes of people going,
hey, do you know what a lot of people do to famous people?
I can't remember who I was talking to about it.
Bully them?
Yes, big time.
And then I was like, hey, my so-and-so is sick.
It would mean a lot if you could retweet this.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
So your answer to that is just hire someone to take that emotional baggage for you.
Well, it's not their emotional baggage.
Well, it is because it's still going.
I guess it's lessened because it wasn't directed at you,
but it's still within your power to show Zac Efron that message.
Zac Efron's Twitter feed would just be retweets of sick people.
Prayers for Sarah.
That's all it would be.
We're doing everything we can to not talk about where are your friends now
you think this movie's about squirrel
you think it's about falling in with a bad crowd
tell me about that Tim
I did hypothesise that
there's a lot to support this thesis
I want to put my biggest evidence first
before it escapes my brain
such as the paper thin nature of it that it might just blow away in the wind
if I wait too much longer.
The last thing you see in this movie is actually it's Sikuli giving
Tanya Romero that cash in the shoebox, which is actually going to page anyway.
But that's like the after-the-credits scene.
That's like the Marvel teaser to the next Avengers film style bit.
But one of the last things you see,
and this is the only bit of the film that mixes with the chronology,
a brief flashback.
Squirrel's been dead for like half an hour,
and yet we see Squirrel repeat the line,
oh, wait, what is it?
I was going to say, are we ever going to be better than this? Oh what is it i was gonna say are we ever gonna be better than this
oh is it that one that's the main hook of the that's the song but what does he say
oh no he says sorry this is my favorite bit the part before it all starts or something that's not
exactly right but it's words to that effect you're definitely meant to remember that bit by the way
they put a lot of gravity into that moment in the movie so like he said something profound it's not fucking profound
squirrel he's the last you've had three shots of tequila you're in a good mood he's the last person
we see in the film and it's a reminder that this movie is actually about squirrel a man who we know
is university educated,
apparently from Duke,
and we're getting that from a second-hand source of information.
I still haven't seen that shot glass.
I'm sorry, I haven't seen it.
Apparently there's a shot glass that says Duke University he's drinking from.
We know that he's been to university
because Zicoli mentioned it in an interview
about the characters within the movie.
He's a bright boy.
He's a smart boy.
He's a good boy.
He's a good boy.
Go on.
He's at the beach. You know, there's a lot of, he's a smart boy, he's a good boy He's a good boy He's at the beach
You know, there's a lot of path loss
In that moment where he's at the beach with Zicoli
And they're smoking a J
And Zicoli's like, why don't we come here more often
And he's like, I come here all the time
Clear my head, and it's like, yes
This is a man who exists outside of the group
He talks to Zicoli
Just before he dies, when they're at the diner
About applying for other jobs.
He's a sharpshooter.
He's got ambitions. He wants to get out
of that dastardly page
diamond fucking empire that they've got themselves
in and look to the
horizon for brighter times.
But he's cut down on his prime because he
falls in with a bad crowd. Bad boys.
Drug dealers. A lot of them.
I don't care what you say.
They're drug dealers.
They go to Vegas, they sell drugs at a music festival.
Squirrel does it too.
Yeah, but he got dragged along.
He got dragged into it.
He is talking about what the potential jail sentence would be
on the way to the...
He's the only one.
He sees the consequences.
He's talking about how they're going to get five years prison
for each hit of E that they get caught with,
which I don't think would actually be accurate.
But my point is,
this is a dude who's been caught up with bad people.
We're reminded of his importance.
He dies.
He's the sacrificial lamb to show us
that this movie's supposed to have a moral.
But then you forget it
because then there's half an hour more of movie.
And then they bring him back.
If you just make
sure the weakest of your friends takes the most drugs yeah you will go on to greatness yeah because
you need reality checks and sometimes they have to be people carking it hardship breeds success
just make sure make sure it's not your hardship make sure it's not you who fucking ods more than
that there's a scene which is presumably cut from the movie
when all of them are getting excited because they've got a pool at their new house
and there's a shot of all of them doing a cool jump into the pool.
I showed you this.
You did?
Yeah.
There's a brief moment which is about one and a half to two seconds
of Squirrel's lead up.
He's running behind someone.
A bit of context.
So this is when they first get the house.
They're bloody excited. They strip off because they're like, there's a pool here. A bit of context. So this is when they first get the house. They're bloody excited.
They strip off because they're like,
there's a pool here.
The day of the party.
They've got their keys.
They're like, yes.
They strip off everything they're wearing
and in slow motion run in
and Jahid does a forward flip into the pool.
They all also jump into the water with their socks.
Like consistently, they're always swimming with socks
on which is i reckon that might be a little hallmark of maximum joseph like how hitchcock
put himself into all his films i reckon this is maximum joseph's stamp the opposite of tarantino
he hates feet does he tarantino loves feet oh he loves feet and maximum joseph refuses
i mean they're shooting in California in the summer,
not a toe in sight.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's odd.
And you even see jandals.
When Zicoli wakes up, when he's enjoying his pool house...
Oh, yeah, you see sandals.
Yeah.
Anywho, so, sorry, I railroaded your own retelling of this,
but it's in slow motion, and there's cool flips and dives
that they're doing into the pool
and the last person to get in is our man Skrull.
Yeah, much like they don't show a bit,
there's a lot of foreshadowing here,
much like they don't show that Skrull gets a bedroom in the house
because he will inevitably die because he is the weakest
and he's fallen in with a bad crowd,
they don't really give him his own individual frame for the jump.
He's in the background of someone else jumping into the pool
and he's trying to sprint, but his pants haven haven't you know when you're taking off your pants
and like you wind up with them completely inside out off all of you except from like three quarters
down your shin down yeah yeah like the bottom of your shin to your ankles and you trip over your
pants and you see squirrel at a sprint in this exact predicament, absolutely about to trip over his trousers.
One half of one second away from absolutely nailing himself
onto the concrete ground,
and then they just cut to the party quickly.
Squirrel becomes concussed.
Yes, this is what we don't see.
He shouldn't party.
He shouldn't take the drugs that night,
but there's no way he's going to miss this opportunity.
It's the party of a lifetime.
There's a lot of um theories
that you can hang off of squirrel and his presence in the film i reckon tons of stuff's been cut out
of the the version that we see another thing i asked you tim and you had a good theory on was um
who's johnny depp's friends within the group he doesn't like you never everyone else has one on
one time with each other there's a connection there's a connective tissue i just feel like
he's that one dude in the group that no one's super fucking stoking on but it's you know it's like if the
three of them get together it's like oh yeah we should bring johnny depp too because he's you know
why is that just because they've been friends for so long it's like you can't yeah i feel like he
went to high school with at least one of them and just kind of fell into their four their foursome
and now it's it's just too it'd be too
awkward to explain to him if he didn't get invited to stuff so they're just like oh we'll just
fucking put up with him he's such a brooding intense dude as well he's probably capable of
murder to be honest i wouldn't want to leave them out of the party one of those classic guys who
looks like there's a lot like he's got such brooding eyes it looks like there's something
happening but if you talked to him for longer than five. It looks like there's something happening.
But if you talked to him for longer than five minutes,
you'd realise there's just nothing except for an assortment of cool whistles.
They're the most dangerous people, though.
Like, vacant behind a veneer of psychopathy.
I think we should expand on this,
because you said also,
or for instance at the party,
Jarhead is going to be Jarhead.
Jarhead will be Jarhead.
You've got to take him or leave him.
Yeah.
Some people will like him.
Some people won't like him.
Yeah.
There's nothing for it.
Yeah.
He is entirely his own person.
Yeah.
And there's something lovable about that. And he's got a good heart.
We see a lot of examples of this.
Yeah.
Look, I'm still not convinced about Jarhead,
but there's neither here nor there. And so when Jarhead gets
a hot head, and a very funny shot also,
look out, just before Jarhead tackles
a guy in a blazer into the pool
at James Reid from the Fearless Party,
you can see... For daring to question
the claim that the greatest sushi,
a Japanese dish, on
planet Earth, oh sorry, in the Western Hemisphere
is located in a strip mall.
One of the four main hemispheres.
Anyway.
Yeah, and so he tackles this guy into the pool,
and it's a bit of a scene.
And then Squirrel is like,
oh, I'm going to have to go and clean this up.
And he jumps in the pool.
And every time he does that,
I always think that Squirrel isn't trying to break up the fight.
He's trying to create the illusion of activity in the pool like it's like he's a red hair oh you might think
it's a fight but no no we're just having a good time he jumps in and starts yelling out marco
and then suddenly everyone's like oh we just we're all because you know we've been at this party we've
been dancing it's hot but no one's been using the pool so it is about time we got in the pool
and then johnny depp just classic depp freak out He gets in the pool and he's like, oh, we're breaking up the fight.
That's what we're doing.
And it's like it completely undoes all of Squirrel's hard work.
James Reid from The Fearless comes out.
He blows up completely.
He does.
If anything, it kind of tarnishes the pool for the rest of the party.
It's like, oh, if we go in there, we'll just remind everyone about those annoying friends who came.
It's so fucking hot.
It is sweltering.
All I want to do is take everything off
except for my socks and dive in there head first.
I'm just waiting for that.
Waiting for that moment.
I don't know why these guys swim in their socks.
I hate wet socks.
I hate socks generally.
Like, I'll only wear socks if I'm wearing shoes
most of the time.
If I walk around inside,
people who wear socks inside but not shoes,
I feel it's odd. I've got got the only socks i do it with a lot of socks that are so thick they cost me 20 dollars
at like a rural field days event and they feel like slippers because they're so thick
they're the only ones i can pull it off there's still socks and you can pull it off with any
socks you just don't like it yeah i don't off with any socks. You just don't like it.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I don't like it.
I wear socks around the house.
I think most people do.
I think me and Tarantino are the odd ones out.
Loves getting his toes out.
Don't say it like that.
I can say it however I want.
Sounds gross.
don't say it like that I can say it however I want
sounds gross
you are not gonna
you know shut down my thoughts
on how I can talk about Tarantino's fascination
with toes
you can say whatever you wish
but you've got to be open to the fact that I will comment on it
I am open to it
but don't tell me not to say it
I will never do that
oh I did
I take it back.
You got me there.
No bloody wazzes, Timbo.
Hey, might stick a cork in it there
because I think you need to get the fuck out of here, actually.
I truly do.
But before we do that,
what I would like to talk to you about, Tim,
is a gift.
Am I tearing up right now?
Yeah, well, a lot of people are.
A gift shared between friends, between men,
between James Reid from the Feelers and Zicoli Pastor.
Getting sentimental with James Reid.
Of course, James Reid He feels
I don't think he's let anyone in for a while
You don't get the impression
Say that again?
I don't think he's let anyone in
You don't get the impression he's got any close friends
He's got a long-term live-in partner
But that's not a super healthy relationship
Because he sleeps around on her
And he employs her as his personal assistant.
Yeah, there's a lot going on.
Weird power dynamic.
And so I think because him and Zicoli have had such a connection over music as well,
which is something he's had trouble with getting back into since his success,
he gets a gift.
He gets a gift for Zicoli.
And it's something quite sentimental.
He gets a gift for Ziccoli, and it's something quite sentimental. He gets a little sentimental, and he reveals to Ziccoli a self-serving gift,
a gift which has, you know, it works both ways.
It's a gift to Ziccoli, but it's also a gift that reflects back onto James Reid.
And what he gets him is a frying pan and the basic ingredients for pancakes.
And he puts it in an apple box.
And this is a great prank because he sees the coal his eyes light up.
Yeah.
He's like, oh, a new laptop.
Yeah, yeah.
My laptop is on its last legs.
Yeah.
Hey, warning, warning.
It's a little self-serving.
Okay, that's fine.
He opens it up.
Flour. Yes. Baking powder. Sugar. Eggs. it's a little self-serving okay that's fine he opens it up flour yes
baking powder
sugar
eggs
milk
yeah
a two litre Pyrex
yep
a Teflon
non-stick frying pan
Teflon okay
I thought you were going to go cast iron
but I guess that shaves a bit of weight off it
absolutely
so you could be mistaken for thinking it is a MacBook
very light frying pan
right
500 grams of butter a whisk yeah You could be mistaken for thinking it is a MacBook. Very light frying pan. Right.
500 grams of butter, a whisk, a spatula.
Yes.
He doesn't give me an electronic beater.
He bought one, but he couldn't put it in because it was too heavy again.
Hand.
Hand beater.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Nothing wrong with that either, I might add.
Nothing wrong with that.
I use a fork.
Do you think pancakes are a good friendship food yeah absolutely i i'd be hard pressed to think of a better friendship food than
pancakes why they just serve a lot of purposes pancakes are a great meal for example if you've
had a big night out before and you want to make something a little bit special for your friend
but it doesn't want to be too special where you come across as a weirdo pancakes is perfect fairly easy to put together
but it's a nice gesture it's like a nice meal also it's a really fun dinner do you know what's
fun to eat for dinner like a dessert breakfast yeah pancakes not a lot of nutrients no that's
the point it's like oh it's treat day, you know? Oh, cheating.
Share that with your friends.
A pancake lives or dies by what you
put on it. Really.
Yeah, at a
minimum, you've got to sprinkle a little sugar
and lemon juice or something on there.
Maple syrup. Yeah, maple syrup.
Old fave. I'm not that hot on
maple syrup, unless there's bacon accompanying it
as well. I love maple syrup. I fave? I'm not that hot on maple syrup, unless there's bacon accompanying it as well.
I love maple syrup.
I love, I'm very back to basics, stripped back.
Maple syrup and butter on my pancakes.
Oh, you know what's a goodie though?
Bit of Nutella on there.
Now we're talking.
Nah, it doesn't do a lot for me.
Oh, you're insane.
If it's a thin crepe like pancake.
Oh, a crepe is a whole different situation.
Well, they're very similar no
i'm talking like a like a british style pancakes the american ones they're thick yeah i know you
get like a european one you put some nutella on that roll that up a crepe is french nom nom
yeah but one of the many nations of europe but is what is a british pancake thinner than an
american pancake yeah like the european british style of pancakes are thick the americans make But is a British pancake thinner than an American pancake? Yeah.
Like the European British style of pancakes are thick.
The Americans make them real thick.
Real thick.
I would imagine, you know, Brits would make thick pancakes.
I don't think it's like...
Nah.
Yes.
I'm sure some do in the same way that some Americans make thin pancakes.
But I think the British European style of pancakes is their way thinner no but it's something about that if you're selling a pancake
you're selling something that's thicker than a crepe by definition totally but you can get thicker
than a crepe without getting into like american pancake territory and that's what you like to put
in here here is the spectrum on one end a french crepe on the other end an american flapjack
in between there a chasm a chasm of options okay a huge divide a massive delta that we can
experiment of different kinds of thickness in they're all definition, until you're dealing with crepes, all degrees of thickness are pancakes.
Yes.
And all the way up to the very bottom end of that spectrum
when suddenly you're crossing over into crepe territory.
Crepe town, as we call it.
You like Nutella.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All the way up to the thickest of the thick.
See, now this is the thing.
I don't know.
I don't know if I want it on an American. it wouldn't be as good on an American style
pancake but you get a slightly
what do you want on a thick pancake
well now we're talking bacon territory brother
that's when I want
things like cream
or bacon and maple syrup
if it's thinner for some reason
I'm in Nutella town
this feels like a good
a good point to end
it
I'd like to thank
this episode's
sponsor
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I'd like to say
thank you very much
to you for listening.
Guy, it's wonderful to have you back
in the flesh. It's a nice time.
Yeah man, I've really
got to go.
We shouldn't still be here.
Are you going to play that dastardly intro?
Intro, intro, intro, intro, intro.
Ow! is still fine there's a colleague who passed out one of them dies
that guy's screw
one of them's a hothead
his name is Jay
one of them
looks like Johnny Depp
and his name
is Johnny Depp
classic Maximum Joseph
I agree
you forget that films
are supposed to have a point