The Worst Idea Of All Time - Family Time 1
Episode Date: January 10, 2023Goodnight to the Friendzone, a safe haven for friends and self-congratulations. Good morning to Family Time, a new title to reflect the new season and Tim and Guy's advancing years. The lads reflect o...n the New Zealand summer holidays and the wedding of the season (hosted by friends of the podcast Joseph Moore and Laura Daniel).Meanwhile dedicated listener Chris Marlton has completed their fourth relisten to the podcast and sends a detailed and articulate dispatch reflecting the experience. This leads Tim and Guy to reflect on their own high points across the vast expanse of podcast they have created and Guy struggling to remember the title of a Rob Schneider special. Messages spanning a year's worth of listening also come from Cass while one plucky young author wants to know the magic number that would lead to a second method film review.Art by Tomas CottleTheme by MontaigneAll the TWIOAT links Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time, it's the worst idea, it's the worst idea of all time.
Thanks man. Hey thanks bro. Hey no worries dude. Thanks brother. I'm fine This is how we start the new. Everybody, welcome along to Family Time.
You know us as Tim Batten Guy Montgomery,
and you might have previously heard these conversations under the banner of the friend zone.
Yes.
This is not to chastise friendship or the zone that we created to celebrate the very practice.
It is more a reflection of the changing times and tides of lives and podcasts
alike it sort of sounds like we're going to get cancelled the way that you started that sentence
say there well we've got some um we've got some social justice warriors hot in our tails wo yeah
i call them our warriors what are they so worried about all the time um justice that's right social justice yes clue was in the title
the whole time um yeah we've graduated we've graduated our relationship to you from from
friends to family which sounds quite culty and uh frankly i'm into it yeah it's a reflection
of the new season yes of the same old podcast, The Worst Idea of All Time, that we are three episodes into currently as we re-watch,
or that's not true, watch the Fast and the Furious franchise backwards.
We're talking nine, nine times, eight, eight times,
all the way back to the original F&F.
You know what that stands for, Tim?
What?
Fast and Furious.
Fast and... Fuck. You know what? You know what we've never found out or stands for, Tim? What? Fast and furious. Fast and fuck.
You know what?
You know what we've never found out or even asked about yet?
What?
Why are these guys so cross?
I reckon it's in the first movie.
You think someone wrongs them?
Yeah, well, the furious doesn't come from nowhere.
We know what fast is.
That's about the cars.
A lot of car stuff.
So that's that mystery solved.
Why are they so pissed off?
Yeah, and do you know what i'm
worried about tim that maybe i've been too fast to judgment go on maybe i'll learn to love these
characters oh i see you're like you've already written the franchise off not entirely i'm having
a bit of fun and we hope you are too our most recent episode was with an up-and-coming podcaster
from the united states of america Fall P. Tompkins.
Nice fella.
I think he'll make something of himself.
Do you know, Guy and I read a wedding down south just recently.
Did anyone know that?
We're family.
You should know that.
We were at our friend Joseph Moore's wedding,
friend of the pod and friend to all humans and animals everywhere.
Who is he marrying?
Take a guess.
Who is his family now?
Why, it's our friend as well, Laura Daniel.
That's correct.
It was such a good wedding.
Holy heck.
Someone who listens to the podcast came up to me and they said,
I can't remember if you were there or not,
they said, I cannot believe that Universal is funding this season of the podcast.
Yeah, there seems to be a few people who have rightly uh celebrated and caught on to
the fact that universal are genuinely and sincerely sponsoring the podcast to help launch fast 10
fast x will be coming out in may of this year god knows they could use a push down the road
from us frosty fellas yeah correct a jump start if you will a push start yeah nice we're just the shot in the arm that the franchise
needs to um they've always been very good and the fast and furious land about targeting different
quadrants you know different parts of the earth different demographics and uh the thing that they
were missing was um fuck boy podcaster market one of my favorite moments of the wedding this is sort
of ancillary but also i loved yeah well you know this is this is too indulgent to be one of my favorite moments of the wedding this is sort of ancillary but also i
loved yeah well you know this is this is too indulgent to be one of my favorite parts of the
wedding but a standout memory shared between us yeah was uh we were i can't we actually spent
quite a lot of time socially together it was really nice so good um and we were talking at
some point and friend of the podcast family of the podcast alice sneddon yes somewhat late at night came up to us and said do you know what i just thought in my head oh my god it's tim and
guy and they're hanging out yeah it was cute it was a lovely moment so so much um merriment and
revelry there it just makes you wonder why uh your whole life can't just be one big being at a wedding in queenstown i i think the um the contained and sort of experiential or the
the it's the limited nature yeah yeah there's something about i don't think i would have been
capable of indulging with quite such enthusiasm had I known that this was my forever lifestyle.
Another hot ticket item.
The chair I'm currently in is massively broken and it's quite hard to sit on.
However, I've ordered for the boys some couches.
Oh, wow.
For this garage.
One couch per boy?
Yes.
I've ordered a two-seater and a one-seater.
So if we ever have a guest,
you and I can bunch up
on the two-seater.
No, no, no, no.
And the guests can get the one-seater.
We surround them.
Okay.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
Rose between two podcasting thorns.
Yeah, yeah.
And everything reclines.
It was important to me
that everything leaned back.
That is going to be us.
It's going to make
for an energy challenge
while watching
some of these movies
over and over again.
Yeah, it really is.
It really is.
And there's a little
compartment
in the armrest
of the two-seater
so you can hide
stuff in there.
Little snacks.
Oh, wow.
Like a mini fridge.
Wow, if you put ice
in there,
you could cool it.
Yep.
There's cup holders. This is mini fridge. Well, if you put ice in there, I guess it could be. You could cool it. Yeah. Oh.
There's cup holders.
This is very American.
Yeah.
Americans crave convenience above all else.
They do.
More than willing to sacrifice some of the aesthetic pleasure of an article if it prevents you from standing.
I feel like we're talking about the Midwest Which is one style of American
But New York City's not like that
They can't fit a reclining couch with a cup holder
And an armrest thing anywhere
They live in tiny apartments
When you think of an American
What do you think of?
That's a good question
I think the character
That pops into my head is a surfer
From California, West Coast surfer from california oh wow
west coast surfer i think of uh like a confident man in a sort of short sleeve button-down shirt
tucked into a pair of slacks with a belt oh yeah and they've got opinions on everything
that guy has glasses as you said that in my head. He can do. None of it's right.
None of it's interesting.
All of it is spoken with full-throated certainty.
I feel we're really shitting on our core audience here,
which is our beautiful libertarian American listener.
So it's been a minute.
It's a new year.
It's the same lads.
It's a new name.
Oh, the Family Timers. It's the same lads. It's a new name. Oh, the family.
Yeah, family time is.
The podcast hasn't changed names yet.
It's not going to.
Yeah.
I made a link tree for us yesterday.
Do you believe in...
You go link tree.
Link tree.
E slash twiwetpod.
I've got a link tree, but I created it.
I created a redirect from guymontgomery.co.nz.
That takes you to my link tree.
Which is?
I don't know.
Guy underscore mont.
Linktra.ee slash admin slash settings.
No, that doesn't seem right to me.
Yeah, that's where you can get in there and change,
you know, that's the back end.
So you can get in there,
you can change what links are on your tree.
That's cool.
I think Linktree took off
because Twitter didn't like people
or they didn't let people put their OnlyFans links on.
And I think that's the thing
that kind of really launched Linktree.
Ah.
Yeah.
The editorial decision that launched
a thousand trees with links i wonder
if we should get an only fans what would you put on there me shaking my little tush but you're not
only fans i've been on there i don't i'm not on there i don't pay for anything um although i feel
like i should i'm looking to my left and uh i should almost i'm not going to pan the camera
can't be bothered getting up
because I'm feeling very American
yeah that's right
but there's a poster
for Chris and Eli's
Porn Revolution
a web series
that I've seen
all available on YouTube
is that true?
yeah it is true
I was the associate producer
on this year
last year
it's 2023 now
all about pornography
and OnlyFans played
a big role in that it actually um it
encouraged me to uh broaden my pornographic horizon good on you did you did you get on only
fans not only fans i still haven't been on only fans do you pay for anything i pay for pornography
good on you dude that's really good yeah that's really good i should do that too i'm gonna pan
it around i want people to see the poster.
Yeah, he's going to pan it around.
And for those of you listening,
there's now a sort of,
we're probably now on the poster
and it's a picture of Eli Matheson
and Chris Parker of The Male Gaze.
Eli is sort of in a singlet
with his huge arms out,
doing a funny face with his tongue out,
and Chris has got sunglasses on.
He's looking over the sunglasses
and quite a sort of excuse.
I can't tell if it's seductive
or he's being caught off guard.
Possibly both.
Can you seduce someone
when you've been taken by surprise?
The answer may sex you up.
Well, answers vary
I think, sometimes yes
Sometimes no
Alright, listen, family time
Oh man, the camera's quite crooked, eh?
I'll fix that in post
Nah, it's all good
I would love to hear from some of our family members, Guy
About what's going on with them
I'm in the Twitter inbox
Twitter, by the way, absolutely going to the dogs
thanks to a man who shaved, I've
read, the most money.
He's lost the most money anyone's ever lost.
Yeah. 200 bill? Yeah.
US? That's a chunk of change to lose.
He's been listening to the podcast. It's all fake
though, isn't it? It's all fake stuff.
Gimble shanks the railway
twioat. Here
we are again.
Season three, episode eight.
Guy, do you think pancakes are a good friendship food?
Tim, yeah, absolutely.
I'd be hard-pressed to think of a better friendship food.
Fourth time lucky.
In my last correspondence exactly a year ago,
I said that I'd start my fourth listen through the whole Twiowat back catalogue, but that I doubted I would finish going through it all again.
Well, I did finish. And for what it's worth,
the fourth listen through every episode really starts to
take on a completely different shape. I just want to say before I read
any more, I love what you're doing. And when I read that sentence,
I felt it. i can really i i admire
the time and energy commitment to doing to our podcast what our podcast has done to other people's
output there was a lot of pathos in the third listen it felt special the fourth listen did not
i'm not going to say i didn't enjoy it because i
wouldn't have listened otherwise but i have some sharp observations some of them i'm sure will be
welcome and others may sting but we're not here to fuck spiders are we guy season three episode 57
dressing your dog up like a peacock is akin to taking your kids to a protest tim bett
Pacing your dog up like a peacock is akin to taking your kids to a protest.
Tim Batch.
What possible context could there be for me saying that?
Seasons 1, 2, and 4 are still great.
The mini-seasons are refreshing and fun.
But after multiple listens, Season 3, We Are Your Friends, is the best season of the show.
That is crazy.
I've heard that from no one and i've never thought that and the four back to back to back to back commentaries are the jewel in the crown of the worst idea of
all time wow it's worth noting it's worth noting here sorry that in episode three of season three
tim asks what if where your friends was a reboot the reality is where your friends was a reboot it's a remake of saturday
night fever from the small nerdy friend dying to the estrangement of johnny depp and jarhead
swap electronic music for disco and it's the same film except john travolta can dance and act
season three episode one guy this is almost quite biblical the way these verses are being inserted.
Has the writer done it with the, what is it called?
There's asterisks.
It feels sort of like Paul's. What is that called?
One of Paul's never-ending letters to the Corinthians.
Did you ever hear those?
No.
I had so much church in my life growing up.
Tell me about Paul's never-ending letters to the Corinthians.
There's not a lot to say except one of the main memories I have
while fading in and out of consciousness in the endless stream of chapel services i had to attend as a boy yes
is a lot of the readings with this guy paul who kept writing letters to the corinthians i can't
even remember the tone all i remember is paul kept writing letters to the corinthians do you
remember anything about what the corinthians were up to where are they from where are the corinthians
corinthia yeah that makes sense anyway uh season
three episode one guy what you've never drank party juice before tim this doesn't taste like
a party at all episode 19 of we are your friends season has the famous tim dying in quicksand rant
16 minutes in it's incredible possibly tim's best moment in the show so far, which is saying a lot.
Is this from a previous stand-up show
or was it improvised?
Do you remember that?
Because I've got a vague recollection of it.
We'll get into it.
I'm just going to keep reading this paragraph
and then we can discuss it.
It says,
it's impressive nonetheless
and would encourage anyone listening now
to go back to episode 19 of season three,
skip to 16 minutes and enjoy i do remember
it i remember being blown away there's it was it was i i've got a vague recollection of like
blacking out and just kind of going into something that is jazz yeah there's a few there's a few
different moments like that where i can remember um just sort of there was a discussion you talked about scaling a mountain towards the end of the first season.
You gave quite an inspirational speech in which I felt like you were a Sherpa showing me the way.
That's so nice.
And I remember being just blown away completely.
And I guess it's the nature of it is energy levels wax and wane.
There's an undulation to how much enthusiasm you can bring to the project or an episode yes there are certain
moments when you know i could i just feel your hands on the wheel and i think tim knows exactly
how to drive this thing right now it's also when um you and i have put out so many hours of things
that you'd hope there's a couple good moments in there oh no but there's
there's i mean there's there's countless but there's just moments when it's like it's i'm
no longer podcasting with you i'm sitting back oh that's cool and watching you one moment that i
have which i feel like is equivalent of just watching you do something and being like how did
this happen was when we were i've told you this before this might ring a bell but when
we were shooting the pilot in new york city in the sewer and because i think people don't read
like you know some people have talked to us about that and people enjoy the pilot and i think some
people think that quite a lot of it was scripted and uh none of it was like we had the shape of
what we wanted to do down there in terms of the rules but all the conversations
were just like they kind of turn on a camera yeah yeah which is how the podcast works as well and i
remember i just in the moment came up with um like fuck kill marry the turtles and i said and then
one you've got to like get an annulment to make it four and your your answer was like the funniest most coherent most
surprising analysis of like your life with the turtles you didn't skip a beat you just started
answering in the most poetic way it's what it was amazing you rack up enough air miles you know and
sometimes you're flying business class it It was crazy to watch, man.
And the benefit is people can, like, watch it,
and what you're seeing is real-time Guy Montgomery's plane. If you haven't seen it or you've not seen it for a while,
it's all up there on YouTube, the whole pilot.
It remains one of my proudest creative achievements.
I know.
I genuinely think it's sad that, you know,
that really was a sliding doors moment that's right could
have been something chris continues i realized watching this fourth time through i realized
something this fourth time through most people don't watch movies they see a movie oh i love
that but they don't watch it waiting for the movie to fuck up people don't stake out films
like detectives or investigators good cop bad
cop grilling the films and finding out their deepest darkest secrets fucking people see films
they don't watch films twio at is a real film study a real investigation the only thing i have
to add from this time through is that Emmanuel is not canon.
Oh, wow. I would provide my reasons,
but as the preeminent
Twiowet scholar at this point,
unless anyone wants to contest this,
I'm just calling it.
The other seasons
have so much replay value,
Emmanuel struggles
the whole way through.
Podcast in a tree,
an original non-contestant
Killianair with a main attraction
recently with Emmanuel
feeling like the bonus episodes
other Twio academics will find
this a relief to know they don't have to listen to it with all the
other seasons and mini seasons on their way to 52
listens through the whole show
oh and what's happening with the Deciders
Club looking forward to season
five the feast and the
nefarious take care of yourselves
say my name
Chris Moulton god damn that was excellent and
this was sent uh moments before christmas 2022 do you agree with chris's take on our emmanuel season
uh i do i think it is it is a departure in form too great yeah and i think you know accordingly lacked the sort of cohesion
as a as an entire parcel it was like we were experimenting with a different dish every episode
instead of you know but this is this is the thing like we have to every now and then uh
take a few punts and they won't all pay out well no i mean it's it's um it is such a sprawling
sort of uh ocean of venture of podcasts we've created yeah there's choppy waters there's rips
i mean look if we reflect quickly now why don't you look back on some you know
full seasons and mini seasons inclusive.
What are some of your fondest memories?
What do you reflect upon as some of the output of which you are most proud?
Potential recency bias because it just got mentioned.
But podcast in a tree.
Yeah.
Felt like something special.
That was cool.
But it can only, in my head, exist because of how hard and stupid the regular this is one of our
key sort of ideological almost philosophical differences it is as you think good art is
born of suffering yeah and i think almost almost by necessity i think it can be created from
comfort being a tree, for instance.
A recliner with a little mini fridge in it.
For me, I think I look back on our week with cats,
my week with cats, with very fond memories.
That was really nice.
Did Farrier come with us?
I think he did.
I think he did.
We had all sorts of different guests on that.
I think... Sorry, this is a departure but um apparently david farrier just got a rabies uh
vaccine injection do you know what happened there he got bit by something no i didn't i don't know
that at all i'll look it up on his webworm later um webworm sub stack yeah there's there's my with cats i also think about uh the second season
is a real marker for how depraved and dark the show can become the sex in the city 2 season was
a real adventure yes i think sex in the city 2 is a high watermark for us and and i guess this
reflects my you know artistic philosophy which is that we were in the largest emotional trouble,
I think, during that season.
There were some moments of season one that got pretty bad,
but Sex and the City 2, I think,
was a really long slog through some very difficult times for us,
going up against the source material,
and therefore created the finest podcasting
um where do you put we are your friends on on the scale i certainly know the top but you know
it's this is the beauty of it and this is true of all art and not that the podcast is out but
anything created is once it's released it no longer belongs to you. It's true. However you intended for it to be engaged with
or interpreted by the recipient,
it's irrelevant.
Yeah.
People meet it as they are
and they take from it what they want.
And so it's not for me to say
that it's not the best season.
For Chris, it is.
And this guy's done as much research as anyone.
And some people will love the Emanuelle episode,
so we're not going to take away from that.
And I'm going to retract our tacit agreement
that it is non-canonical.
I'm going to say it's all there.
You can listen, re-listen,
or not listen to any part of this you want.
I have high hopes,
and I'm really proud of, I think,
what we've put out of this season six,
The Fast and the furious so
far i also actually oh what was it oh is that me it is someone's ringing me i don't know who that
is i don't need to deal with that um there was a season we did one of the lockdowns i really liked
oh um home alone three no it's a different one. Oh, Real Rob?
Oh, what was the one?
It was a special.
Rob Schneider's special.
Yes, what was that called?
You're a very good actor.
I will give you that.
Very good.
I don't know if you... I've got a camera on this man.
You look into his face.
Asian mobber, Mexican kids. He've got a camera on this man. You look into his face. Asian mama, Mexican kids.
He just got me, ladies and gentlemen.
This motherfucker just got me.
Do you know why he called it that?
Why, guy?
Well, his mama.
Yeah.
Asian.
Yes.
She's Filipino.
Check.
And he's...
Do you know who he's married?
Go on.
He's married a Mexican woman.
So the kids are Mexican.
Checkmate.
And I guess Rob's stuck in the middle with Steeler's wheel.
And Malcolm.
I'm going to get a message to read to get us off this dastardly, familiar, muddy track.
To me, there's very little in life.
That is probably actually at the very top of the mountain is the feeling of sucker punching you with a Rob Schneider.
You should feel bad about that.
But it feels so good.
I'm on the Instagram, twiwetpod.
There's messages here,
and they say some things like this.
Someone just said, oh, yeah, that's right that's right okay someone said i thought you all
might appreciate this so this is a video have you seen this so an artist i believe created a real
life um uh rubik's cube come um what are they called those machines rube goldberg yeah rube
goldberg type machine in the forest
which contains a lot of different components if you so there's a sign there's a big neon sign
that'll strike you if you find this particular exhibit i guess you'd say in the woods and the
it just says free beans and then it has a neon arrow pointing down if you can solve all of the riddles, you get awarded free beans,
but I think you also get a Paul Blart Mall Cop DVD,
or that plays a part in it,
and it just takes you through the incredibly elaborate construction
of all the parts of this.
Is this like hardcore, what's it called, geocaching?
Maybe, yeah.
It could be.
Paul Williams is into that, I think.
Good on him. Sometimes when I'm sitting around with Paul, he'll go, do you want to go geocaching? yeah it could be paul williams is into that i think good on him sometimes when
i'm sitting around with paul he'll go do you want to go geocaching really yeah wow he has the mind
of a child yes he does in the body of an athlete yeah that's like a high school athlete um uh tom
has said to us will hobs and shore? Ah, should have finished the episode before speaking.
You really should do Hobbs and Shaw.
It might not be main storyline, but it's canon.
And then there is a screenshot,
which appears to be from Hobbs and Shaw.
We've got Jason Statham on our left,
and that's The Rock, right, on the right?
Yeah, yeah.
And then we've got Idris Elba if i'm not mistaken in the middle
center frame and the subtitle says genocide schmenicide and i couldn't agree more um well
there you go folks he said it not me and uh we've actually got a message here from michelle brazier
the australian comedian um maybe it was a story because i can't i can't see i can't see
what that was but it's gone now so there you have it and then from cass i'm just going because
these are short you know he has to see a lot of things okay 30th of august we're going right back
you ready for this dearest timbo and guy guy feel
free to use my name if this is read on the friend zone i'm not caught up yet but i have been binge
listening to you boys since december of 2021 i've been trying so hard to catch up lately that not
only did i dream in a kiwi accent last night but i had to rescue the two of you from adam sandler
who had trapped you in his own personal torture chambers.
I'm glad that dream still had real me kickboxing skills.
Still real me.
You got it.
Love you both and the potty.
Tease.
Potty.
I hope you're having a wonderful day. You good boys will be getting a much more corny and heartfelt message from future me,
who is caught up to the podcast, love every moment, and love every day.
A heart, Cass.
P.S. Watch out for Adam Sandler.
If he tries to get you, you boys just let me know.
I'll take care of it.
It's crazy to look back on that first season and how much I love,
I mean, I already loved him, but Adam Sandler,
like one of the most memorable specials, comedy specials of the last, how many years?
Seven years, eight years since we did that,
has been 100% fresh.
His Netflix special was just sensational.
It was so funny.
Yeah.
So true to him.
So juvenile, but so sort of beautiful as well.
Yeah.
He's a special guy he is and his his
raw charisma watching him on talk shows his like he just seems to be fundamentally a very very good
person yeah very decent fellow yeah absolutely i respect that 100 fresh december 1st cast rights
again hey boys just wanted to share this love you guys and it's a stat
from spotify wrapped it claims that cast has spent 15 652 minutes with their top podcast
some some trash called the worst idea of all time. 15,000 minutes. That's 261 hours.
It's almost 11 full days.
And that's 24 hours, right?
That's not like a day is 12 hours or 8 hours or something.
That's like 11 24 hours.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
Jesus.
I didn't really comb through them this year
what I do Tim
is I
I try to take a social media holiday
during the actual holidays
that's good
so I haven't been up to the minute
but I do always enjoy seeing
some of the absolutely
fucking
absurd
numbers people have racked up
on Spotify
it's ludicrous
in the company of the Twio at
and now
ludicrous will be part of that lunacy
here's another message that was a nice sentence you're such good boys way it's ludicrous in the company of the twio at and now ludicrous will be part of that lunar sea
here's another message that was a nice sentence you're such good boys i've been unemployed for
almost a month and you've brought me such comfort i'm still behind and only up to friend zone 104
but i am drunk and i care how much of this podcast is there that you can get through 11 Earth days and you're like two-thirds the way there?
Fucking hell.
I am drunk and can't...
And then let us, in addition to that,
let us reflect upon the first message we received today
in family time from Chris.
Yeah.
Who's run the gamut four times.
Yeah.
Fuck.
So let's say 11 is two thirds.
So what's more?
Should we call it number 16?
16 Earth days times four.
Five.
I mean, he's not going to do Emmanuel now,
but he's obviously done Emmanuel.
That doesn't make any sense to me, man.
That doesn't make any sense to me.
16 times four is like 64 oh no it's more than two months no what and that again we're not accounting for sleep i like i'm you know what i put in similar
numbers listening to alan partridge from the oast house
it's a totally different venture you've not but i can not you've not i can relate to the feeling
of putting so although chris is studying it i can relate to the feeling of putting something on for
the comfort and company is it that we get so many people who are doing phds listening to our podcast
chris is doing his phd on the podcast can i say this i was listening to so podcast. Chris is doing his PhD on the podcast. Can I say this?
I was listening to so much,
consuming so much
Ellen Partridge content
at the end of last year
that I woke up
in the middle of the night
and I was stone cold sober
and my internal monologue
was his voice.
Wow.
And I could not,
I was awake for an hour
trying to make my own voice
my inner monologue wow and i couldn't and i woke up and chelsea was worried about me she's like
what's going on this is what happened to peter seller i said i can't get um my inner monologue
right oh my god and she had to rub my back did it work eventually related do you know um what the youtube algorithm has been gracing me
with recently and i've been rewarding it by watching and then it gives me a little bit more
um philomena kunk oh good god what an all-time great character so funny
21st of December from Cass
it's important to me
that you boys know
a hot girl is messaging me
of her own volition
she's horny for me
and instead of jumping on a chance
I plugged your podcast
love you
hippie holidays
wow
1st of January
aka
New Year's Day
hopefully both
both the author
and we are now up to speed
with everything that's happened
in the joined parts of our lives.
Happy New Year's, boys.
Love you.
I'm still catching up
and I'm in mid-2021,
but I'll get there.
I started listening in December 21
and I'm looking forward
to another year of my fave Kiwis.
Okay.
I am just
reminded of the fact that december 21 is not that long ago considering it's a 15 600 minutes
have ensued yes but it's for a second i was um i mistook the year and thought that it was as
recently as about a month ago no it's a full year's worth no no i don't think that's actually
that's physically possible that's been annoying me, no, no. I don't think that's actually physically possible.
That's been annoying me the whole time.
We're almost done.
Little dog hair on the mic.
Yeah, I put it there.
We're almost done, but I'll just read this.
I'm going to cross over to the good, hardworking people at Meta.
We cross live to Meta.
Literally made the interface of their pages as unusable as, I'm not the most tech savvy person.
Yeah.
But to,
to do anything.
Brother,
I tried,
no kidding,
if you started a stopwatch,
I think it would have taken me,
three to four minutes,
to figure out how to post,
on the Twiwet page yesterday.
I'm so sorry.
I couldn't figure it,
I was like,
I've,
I've built computers,
I've got a functional. I was like, I've built computers.
I've got a functional network accessible storage, which I made with my own two hands and configured myself.
I couldn't figure out how to post on our page, man.
It was really difficult.
And I'm not crazy.
It used to be very straightforward.
It was so easy.
Who is this for?
Meta can only exist now by virtue of Twitter racing it to the bottom of usability.
Although Twitter's actually like, it's still the same.
The changes are kind of different.
But Facebook is like, how can we break this functional tool?
I want to leave this year.
God damn it.
You should.
Although that would stress me out because then I'm all alone.
I know.
Well, that's the thing.
Managing the Facebook, which I don't do anyway.
But the idea... The last piece of
correspondence is
from us to Mark Zuckerberg.
Sort your fucking platform out,
dude.
Yeah, Zuck. Sorry, we should put a full stop
from one of our family members.
I haven't even read this, but it says
it's from late November.
Quick question for the old TNG.
How much money would we need to crowdfund
to get another Method film reviewing episode?
Thanks for everything.
You both make me very happy on the reg.
It's a fitting end.
I don't know what the number is.
It's not really a money problem anymore.
It's that Guy and I now are both in charge of kids and that changes
the um the calculus a little bit that's the tragedy of it there was a there was a time when
it was possible and it's so much harder to do anything now yeah our lives are beautiful and
full but it is tricky to go down to a sewer for a week to eat nothing but pizza and watch the turtles
you know especially when if it's work that is handed to you,
if someone says to you,
here's an amount of money I'll give you to do this,
it makes a little more sense.
If you say, if it's you saying this is work
and then going down to a sewer to eat pizza for a week
and leaving your family,
it just reads differently.
We could do it though.
I could figure it like, you know,
we could figure it out. But the other thing is, you know, we wouldn't want to do it though that's i could figure it like you know we could figure it
out but the other thing is you know we wouldn't want to do it piece by piece you'd want to do a
it's have a thing it's a it's certainly look it's something that we both dream of but it's also an
an unsolvable riddle for the time being well for right now but we'll continue to um tinker away on
it it doesn't occupy zero percent of the brain. There was a question earlier on that wasn't addressed,
which is what's the deal with the Deciders Club?
And that is a fair call.
So as I've just mentioned, Guy and I,
to be totally frank with you, struggling right now.
Well, I am.
The editing has become harder now
because of the video component.
But it's all good, and I love that it exists and it's important
to do but we gotta get
back on top and catch up with
some Deciders Club content so that will be
happening at twioat.substack.com
I've just got to get my head around exactly
how that will function and when we can
get the time to kick back
and a couple of cup holder
laden lazy boys
and fucking watch the heck out of some stuff back and a couple of cup holder laden lazy boys yes and
fucking watch the heck out of some
stuff that you tell us to
speaking of the
videos you're putting together
absolutely sensational
I am so proud of you
and the self built
media empire that you
have built and continue to build
and if you want to see the
videos they are on the sub stack and what they're a day early yeah yeah yeah and ad free always and
you've got both so there's the you can subscribe to the podcast like using your own podcast app
if you're on the if you're supporting us on sub stacks five dollars us a month and you can just get all the podcast episodes in your podcast app a day early ad free
in addition uh every episode we do now hopefully unless i'll fuck something up um has a video it
is a video episode it's staggering to me because i i when i listen to a podcast i like to listen to
it yeah because you're free to do another thing yeah yeah, yeah, totally. If there's a video playing of the podcast
while I'm doing the thing,
I am compelled, I'm drawn to look at the video.
It is good for stuff like,
well, you know,
some other people have a different relationship
than we will, obviously.
But if you've got a guest that you love,
like, for example, Paul F. Tompkins,
who's on the episode that just came out,
I'd jump on and watch that video, you know?
I want to see the man.
There is a certain magic in his eyes.
Yeah.
I believe it's actually what Freddie Mercury was writing about
when he said,
it's a kind of magic.
It's a kind of magic.
They were alive at the same time.
Yep.
Briefly.
Yeah, when do you think Freddie Mercury was born?
When did he die?
In the 90s?
Yeah.
Late 80s or early 90s?
I think in the 90s.
Let's say 1990, I think.
About 40.
So, let's say in the 50s?
Yeah.
I'm going to say 57.
Your guess?
That was the year my dad was born.
What's your guess?
I think...
And also...
Okay.
So, one thing at a time.
Freddie Mercury was born in the year 1955.
46.
46?
Yeah.
We was off.
You won.
Died in 1991.
There's no winners here.
Because the world no longer contains a Freddie Mercury.
But lucky for us, it does contain a Paul F. Tompkins.
That's it from us for now
for family time
this has been the
first family time
family meeting adjourned
I hope you've all
enjoyed it
yeah I'm going to
start the next episode
by saying
sit down
you know
grab yourself a plate
or something like that
yeah nice
I'll workshop it
yeah good
something to look forward to though
oh also
I'll ask you
and I'll ask the listeners
I was thinking of making
these live streams for the Substackers.
It would make it slightly more difficult, but I think a little bit of fun.
What do you think about that?
The timing is more challenging, but if we can make it work, absolutely.
Maybe every now and then.
Actually, every now and then they'll be live, maybe.
As long as we're here.
If you live in Australia or New Zealand, I am touring a brand new stand-up comedy show
and you can buy tickets at guymontgomery.co.nz.
Not only can you, must you.
Yeah, that's true.
You must.
You must.
Thanks for listening.
Goodbye.
Farewell. It's the worst idea of all time It's the worst idea
It's the worst idea of all time