The Worst Idea Of All Time - Killionaire TV 10: Dana v Ben

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Dana and Ben are two competitors who are operating on a very similar frequency and it’s a very fun one. Speaking of frequencies, we got some great voices on this episode to boot. Corporate personhoo...d, weaponising helicopters, a human centipede situation and the disillusion of marriage are all coming together to form a perfect storm of trillionaire murder plots in this very exciting episode of Killionaire TV.Thanks to editor AJ of Cult Popture and graphic designer Tomas Cottle.TWIOAT Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / WebsiteGUY Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / WebsiteTIM Twitter / Instagram / Facebook / Website Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 He's Tim Batt, I'm Guy Montgomery, and this, well this is a dumpster. Together, we're best known for watching bad movies too often. But as the world turns to custard, we've got a new thing going on. We want to create the world's first ever trillionaire, and then swiftly remove the world's first ever trillionaire, dispersing their funds to humanity at large. We're taking your ideas, pitching them against each other until we find one winner. Welcome to Killianere.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Hello and welcome to another riveting episode of Killianere TV. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I told you it's riveting. Okay. I'm Guy Montgomery That is Tim Bass He's not wrong And today we'll be talking to two prospective pitchers Not in the Major League Baseball, baby
Starting point is 00:00:53 These guys are pitching ideas Or not in the water sense either No, yeah, they're not pitchers of water They are Imagine if they were though Some of the world's, well Do you know what I would say though? The next two contestants
Starting point is 00:01:03 Two cool pitchers of water Yeah contestants, two cool pitches of water. Yeah, two long pitches of water. They are going to bring us their ideas on how to help fundraise money for some of the world's wealthiest people, and assuming those fundraisers are successful and get one of them to a trillion dollars, how we can then take care of business. We are joined in the Killianair studio today by Ben and Dana. Ben, we'll
Starting point is 00:01:27 talk to you first. How do you do? I do well. How about yourselves? I do well. I'm also doing well. Tim, how are you doing? I don't even think we've spoken to each other today. I do good. Yeah, he does. He's a real do-gooder. Ben, just off mic, it's important for me to say this. We were talking about your – You know you're on mic, eh?
Starting point is 00:01:48 Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was saying just off mic before we were talking about something, and now I'm on mic. What Tim's doing is he's having a lot of fun poking and prodding around the margins. He's playing with the form. And on one hand, I admire it. He's relaxed.
Starting point is 00:02:00 He's in the pocket. He's having a good time. But on the other hand, he's antagonizing me. He's fucking me off. I want to a good time. But on the other hand, he's antagonizing me. He's fucking me off. I want to talk T-shirts. I like them. You're wearing one. Tell me a little bit about it.
Starting point is 00:02:12 It is two. You called it prawns. I would say shrimp, but we can discuss that back off. You fucking idiot guy. What do you call them, Tim? You probably wouldn't recognize such fine cuisine i don't need them well one is one is inverted in next to the other making it a 69 shape that's right i don't need to explain why that's fun no you do you don't but i wish you would i don't know it was
Starting point is 00:02:39 an additional significance to the number dana do you want to field this one? Do you want to jump in and explain why 69 is a fun number? It's best to learn by experience. Okay. Good call. Go ahead, Ben. No words never spoken. So it's made by my very best good friend who makes T-shirts professionally over at a meth syndicate on Instagram. They're all very stupid and very funny.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Okay. I don't know if he's a good follow, even if you don't buy any. Do they have any potentiality of becoming a trillionaire? They don't. Well, then I won't hear of this promotion. I'd like to just
Starting point is 00:03:18 address the 69 elephants. No one's going to tell me why this number's supposedly funnier than other numbers. Is that what's happening? Well, as Dana said, you've got to go there to know. Okay. Well, I guess I won't. I will say, secretly I do know. I was playing the fool.
Starting point is 00:03:34 I thought the number 69 wasn't funny anymore. This t-shirt has literally reinvigorated my relationship to it being a comedy number. How deep does that go? Has it reopened the door for other 69s or is it like in this context, depicted by the prawns? In this context. Otherwise, you know, it's just confusing.
Starting point is 00:03:54 Dana, we'll turn to you now. How are you going? I'm doing well this evening. Oh, well, that's a weight off our shoulders. How was last evening? We are prone to worry. Yeah, how was yesterday? Oh, well, it's a weight off our shoulders. How was last evening? We are prone to worry. Yeah, how was yesterday? Oh, also good.
Starting point is 00:04:09 It was a happy new year. It was a happy new year. Wow. It's been a long day. Dana, give me a... It's the lunar new year. Of course. Give me a last night out of five, what score would you give it?
Starting point is 00:04:24 Four. Always leave room for improvement and tonight you would give tonight a four and a half okay so upward trajectory cool oh yeah okay okay great well look that's all i need to know um the way that we will begin today uh my dear competitors is i have written down a number between 1 and 69 on a sheet of paper dana i will ask you first to select a number and whomever guesses the closest number to what i've written on the page um they get to decide who goes first uh 42 42 from dana The meaning of life $1 Bob 1 from Ben Before I reveal my answer
Starting point is 00:05:10 I recently heard an interesting thing About that 42 being the meaning of life thing Yeah go ahead I can't remember all of it But either of you guys like computer people Programmers Hopefully no So there's something about like sorry tim that's all we have time for what's his name again adams douglas adams
Starting point is 00:05:33 was a big computer coder and 42 is like uh i think it's a comma or something which in code can mean anything so the whole point was everyone interpreted it as being a nonsense answer, but perhaps what he was getting at is that the point of life is anything you want it to be. The only meaning of life I will accept is in Bart Simpson's Guide to Life. Which was? And if you really want to find out the meaning of life, you have to turn to page 72.
Starting point is 00:05:59 And then you turn to page 72 and it would say, to find out the true meaning of life, turn to page 16. And on and on it would go. And we say to find out the true meaning of life turn to page 16 and on and on it would go and we'd never find out anyway did you did you know that uh douglas adams and stephen fry had the first two apple computers in england i did not know that that's a great fact i knew that everyone knows that uh the number i picked was 69 which means uh dana on 42 you are the winner would you like to pitch first or second? I would gladly pitch first
Starting point is 00:06:29 well then let's hear it what we're going to do Ben is put you on mute cool think about choosing the smallest possible number in a game of chance stupid anyway go ahead Dana so have you ever heard of the concept of corporations being treated as people
Starting point is 00:06:55 now i don't personally understand how this works it just seems like something, you know, made to help the rich. And I thought we could use that against the rich. Now, instead of looking for a single billionaire to turn into a trillionaire, what if we were to create this trillionaire by taking the current six richest people in the world, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Bernard Arnault, Bill Gates, Larry Page, and Mark Zuckerberg, and turning them into a corporation. A 12-armed trillionaire that I will refer to as Reginald Fluff. Now, why Reginald Fluff? Two reasons. One, I've taken that name only using the letters from all six billionaires. And two, Reginald Fluff sounds exactly like you would expect a trillionaire to sound. like you would expect a trillionaire to sound.
Starting point is 00:08:13 So, with their accumulative wealth of $1 trillion and $1 extra million, this 12-armed trillionaire will be our ticket. Now, how do you kill a 12 armed trillionaire you tell them that they have won that they are this year's times person of the year now have you ever seen the movie king ralph i have not i haven't even heard of it yeah i did not exist it It's the 1991 John Goodman classic, and it starts with the scene of the royal family, the entire royal family gathering to get their portrait taken. But it's set in England, therefore it's been raining, and the wires are wet,
Starting point is 00:09:02 and as the camera goes click, there is a tragedy, and the entire royal family is electrocuted, and they have to find the nearest living relative, who happens to be a Las Vegas lounge singer played by the one and only John Goodman. So we just replicate this scene. Now, you're probably wondering, what about their spouses? What about their wives? Well, I don't know if you've paid attention,
Starting point is 00:09:31 but billionaires don't seem to have a lot of luck in the marital department these days. If we wait long enough, all of them will be divorced. Now, we have to find that sweet spot in between them being divorced and remarried, but it will be there. Now, I know what you're thinking, Guy. How are we going to get them to put their egos aside
Starting point is 00:09:55 to become a single trillionaire? That is what I was thinking. No, we don't put their egos aside. We lean into their egos. We go to each one and we tell them, this world needs a new leader and you are who we need. work alone. So we're going to create a new person. You are going to have the assistance of five other people. We have to tell each one of them that they are the one that we go to first. Because what do billionaires want more than anything? It's to be remembered in history. We pitch it to them as they are going to become a historical figure. They are going to be the one
Starting point is 00:10:43 to pull the world out of poverty. What they don't know is that this is true, but it's going to be true because we are going to kill them and redistribute their wealth. Do you have any questions? Wow. Wow. Love that pitch. Love that pitch I mean I do have some questions But I've got to say
Starting point is 00:11:05 I've never been inside of an infomercial before In the sense where The voiceover artist says Now I know what you're thinking Yeah I know what you're thinking guy Yeah and they say my name And they know exactly what I'm thinking
Starting point is 00:11:17 I like I like working with the materials we're given Namely Six incredibly wealthy people already. The simplicity of it. Glow a bunch of billionaires together. I love that. There's a few questions.
Starting point is 00:11:31 First of all, though, I want to talk about Larry Page. Okay. Who in every episode of Killianair we've done, all the pictures that have come across our huge desk, I have not seen his name mentioned, which is incredible to me. Can any of you give me just a sentence or two on larry page's background he's the oracle guy right what do oracle do software yeah yeah is he like created like java or something why does he not get bracketed with the other guys because he sold it ages ago and now he just lives on a yacht is he just living off of interest and he has the word
Starting point is 00:12:06 scientist in his title uh name a world famous scientist who didn't die a hundred years ago yeah guy name one you can't do it dana got you again i didn't get a very big chance wait don't it's not trying to get me, is he? Well, it seems like a little bit, maybe. Anyway, questions for Dana. I'm trying to get you on the same side. Dana, I've got one question for you. Is it true that if you add up all of these people, their collective wealth is really $1 trillion and $1 million? According to investment.com, which doesn't give an exact number, but it gives it to the closest billion.
Starting point is 00:12:50 That's incredible. It seems too good to be true. So I am going to believe it. I would like to ask you about, not about the movie King Ralph, which, by the way, would you recommend watching? 100%. Who is in the supporting cast uh someone who if you don't was not as famous as john goodman after the fact yeah yeah it's okay you know if you don't have it on top of your head you don't need to tell me but you you focus on the
Starting point is 00:13:19 family portrait you get all of the monarchs together there's an electrocution i mean this sounds like a very unfortunate incident for the royal family it sounds like pure happenstance how do we orchestrate this situation where our hands are clean and we guarantee the electrocution goes off without a hitch therefore eliminating the six billionaires or the 12 I'm Trillionaire, as you call them. Well, I guess you would just have to hire someone to hire someone to hire the photographer. The photographer is going to get the entire blame, but historically, they're not going to be the villain. They're going to be the villain in the moment, but the long curve of history will lean towards them being the hero of the story i love that yeah i mean i was going to name someone as a potential photographer but if they're going to um then be remembered as a hero it's probably not going to work so well
Starting point is 00:14:18 okay but so we're putting faith in um a chain of command here was galane maxwell we're putting faith in um a chain of command here was galane maxwell was who i was thinking also also peter o'toole plays the person telling king ralph how to become royal i forgot to mention that that's important to know r.i.p um i have no further questions as it currently exists i like the incorporation of time magazine i think it's losing respect With the common people But I think that amongst the elite That the idea of being Time person of the year Holds a certain luster that remains Yeah it's a great plan I can see it all
Starting point is 00:14:54 I can see it happening I can see the puddle How big is it? It's massive Why would they take a photo in or that close to a massive It's part of the photo Because like reflective It looks cool
Starting point is 00:15:08 They're in it twice Yeah it's like you know distorted reflection It's not like a perfect It's not a lake guy It's a puddle But it looks cool I don't think billionaires look down Yeah take that
Starting point is 00:15:23 Where are you getting that? No no I think that's right, that checks out Okay Okay, Dana Very great pitch And now we're going to pivot to our second contestant, Ben Hello, Ben
Starting point is 00:15:35 Hello Gentle Ben Gentle man I'm wondering if you guys paired us up for a reason You'll see why Okay, well, please, Ben, whenever you're ready I'm just saying, I'm glad I have this printed out as evidence For some lateral thinking
Starting point is 00:15:55 Oh my god I have a few tenets that I try to live by And one of them is If there's an activity that kills rich people Don't do it. I figure they have the top-of-the-line version of whatever that thing is and still died, so whatever hand-me-down version I end up using
Starting point is 00:16:11 doesn't stand a chance. This put me in the unique position to know offhandedly when I saw the call for pitches to know a foolproof way to fake the deaths of some of these bozos. Helicopters. Rich people seem to absolutely love dying in helicopter crashes. So much so that at this point, I doubt anyone is even investigating them.
Starting point is 00:16:32 So what we'll need is we're going to have to fake the crashes of seven multi-billionaires. We'll start with the top six, and I'm going to admit here, some of these guys are somehow not name-brand millionaires. Who the hell are Bernard Arnold, Larry Page, and Larry Ellison? Larry Page is the Google guy, actually. Larry Ellison. Oh, shit. I got them.
Starting point is 00:16:53 He's the boat oracle guy. They're both Larry and they're both pieces of shit. I mixed up my billionaire Larrys. But don't worry. We've got Musk in there, Bezos, Gates. They're still part of the six. They're combined wealth, according to my sources, at the time. And this does keep changing.
Starting point is 00:17:09 And I'm not disparaging Dana's numbers at all. They're probably both accurate. It's just under a trillion dollars. But instead of adding the seventh richest person, Warren Buffett, he's going to die soon anyway. So we'll toss Zuckerberg in there for that famous Zuck spice. Now, once we've faked the helicopter crashes, we're going to have to kidnap them and bring them all back to some sort of secure facility. I've worked in a ton of warehouses, and trust me, America is lousy with empty warehouse space. Here's where things get a bit grisly.
Starting point is 00:17:37 It's human centipede time. Okay. Yeah. I feel like we go in reverse order, Musk in the back, Zuck in the front. But I'm open to suggestions. I'm not going to die on that hill. Once these rich dickheads are one single living entity, guess what? So is their money. Boom. World's first trillionaire. And I also have a comment about the wives. Once again, we don't have to worry about them getting inheritance because they're now all guilty of polyamory. They're all off in jail. Not a problem. You go to jail for that? In the U.S.?
Starting point is 00:18:13 I don't know what they're doing down there, but we're God's people. I didn't mean to interrupt the page. We're jailing people who are into polyamory. Polygamy. I'm sorry, not polyamory. Polygamy, yeah. I misspoke. I misspoke i misspoke being please continue ignore us yes um so we'll probably need to reveal their existence to the press in order for the
Starting point is 00:18:33 accounting to all get squared away but i feel like everyone in the world wants this so i don't foresee a lot of pushback uh and then we can even toss out in the press release something about merging their assets just to give those. They're not creative. They want a catchy headline. That's going to appeal to Tim. They'll eat that up. And now is the fun part.
Starting point is 00:18:54 What to do. We haven't already had our fun. The human seemed to think that wasn't the fun part. Hey, you know, you pick your poison. But what do these fellows all seem to love more than anything specifically? That's right, pretending to go to space. So what should we give them? The ground.
Starting point is 00:19:10 A shitload of it. We'll fly our creation out to Murmansk, Russia, and place it ever so gently in the bottom of what is currently the largest hole ever dug. Now that our human centrillionaire is seven kilometers below the Earth's surface, we have some options. I think we make a holiday out of it. Every year on a date of our choosing, we all, as in the whole Earth, go out to the Kola Peninsula and toss some trash in the hole. It'll slowly fill up.
Starting point is 00:19:36 We'll get rid of some trash. It'll take centuries. It'll bring us all together as a species. And it will serve as a reminder that having over a billion dollars is an inherently evil act and will be treated as such. Thus concludes my pitch. Ben, thank you so much. Anytime that someone mentions a human centipede, I am just full of questions on the biological details and possibilities of it. and possibilities of it do we get a surgeon involved who's like really good at this sort of thing or is this more of a diy job or is it more of a metaphor as it was in danis uh gluing
Starting point is 00:20:17 together of these these wealthy men this could not be less of a metaphor this is hardcore grafting of mouth to anus from seven different men um and yeah i figure we're now going to have the turnaround to be quick but we promise we find some surgeon willing to do it for the cost of we'll have seven working helicopters and we only need one to fly them to mermanks russia so So we can sell it. We'll say, hey, we don't have anything up front. We'll pay you with six helicopters. That's great. That's got to be worse. I don't have the numbers in front of me.
Starting point is 00:20:55 That's contra. It's off the books. It's very clever. I like you describing it as a human centrillionaire. I really like putting them at the bottom of a hole. It's just something Classic about the hole Dig into that a little bit
Starting point is 00:21:08 Do you need trash suggestions? Because so far we have two Is your intention to keep all of these People alive in the hole Stitched ass to mouth for as long as possible? No abandon them immediately And start filling it with trash at whatever pace we want So if they're able to live off Yeah if they're able to live off some of the trash and it doesn't crush them, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:21:30 But there's no way they're getting out. Do you have any concerns about this particular group of elite moneymakers in terms of resourcefulness of them finding some way to get their way out of the hole. It sort of feels very Bond-esque. We're creating a very elaborate situation that it's like, yeah, they're probably going to die, but I'm not watching it. I'm not shooting them in the head. So it's technically not my responsibility. I guess that's the upside of it, but it's risky is the downside.
Starting point is 00:22:01 Yeah, I understand the concern, but I don't think any one of these dinguses is crawling seven kilometers even if they weren't sewn to seven or to six other men i think that already that's seven kilometers up that's all elevation who knows what the actual i don't i don't know the diameter offhand it's me neither man it's probably in me we'll figure it out when we get there but yeah yeah, I just don't see that. You know, have you seen them? I don't think they've got a lot of martial arts training or anything. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:22:30 I do feel like Jeff Bezos is surprisingly strong, but that is kind of by the by. He's famously been taking steroids and a lot of them. So he'd be our one. He'd be like, he'd be right behind. He'd be second from the back. So he's living off. What is Zuck? The whole meme is that he
Starting point is 00:22:45 likes sweet baby rays that's like the planted meme so he's getting sixth generation sweet baby rays at that point right there's no way he's assuming people are kind enough to throw sweet baby rays into the hole on the i don't even know what a sweet baby ray is it's a sauce it's a barbecue sauce oh because he had it in the video. Yeah. They tried to make it seem like he was weird. Like they humanized my rock plan. That's what I'm saying. They added a fake weirdness to it.
Starting point is 00:23:17 I really don't know. The authentic weirdness. It worked, though. We all thought it was actually something he was into. It was quirky. Hold my hand again, Ben, between staging the helicopter deaths and getting them all together so that we can stitch them up. Can you just walk me through that process one more time? Sort of the timeline or getting to the warehouse? Just like the cliff notes on that,
Starting point is 00:23:44 just because I dipped out to write a note and then I came back and we had them all sewn together but I couldn't quite remember how we managed to pull that off we're faking seven helicopter crashes yeah I got that and these guys love to fly in helicopters I'm out here I'm a transplant to the bay area so I'm I see him I'm a large white man I blend in amongst them they don't know that I'm some redneck from the East Coast. They haven't figured it out yet. But I have a lot of redneck friends from the East Coast who are helicopter mechanics. That is true.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Not a lot, but more than three. A lot to me. You have three dollars. You've got a lot of dollars. Are they cool guys, Ben? Two are. I used to buy magic mushrooms from a helicopter engineer. Was he a cool guy?
Starting point is 00:24:30 Real cool guy. Is he still cool? That sounds like a cool guy. As far as I know. I haven't seen him in a minute. But I don't see them putting up a lot of fight against. I think they think this is a great plan. Because, again, they're just from my bumblefuck town and you know we like to have
Starting point is 00:24:46 fun in small towns you're gonna make your own fun that sounds fun so yeah i think i think getting a whole getting a hold of seven helicopter mechanics and let's be honest they're probably flying out a lot of the same airports you probably need like maybe three you bribe them with what 50 bucks and a promise that they can have any of the half a million Teslas that just got recalled? Yeah. You're right about that. Yeah. And then again, the warehouse space, we're lousy with the stuff out here.
Starting point is 00:25:15 Yeah. I've got one final question actually related to that, if I may. Can you tell me just briefly a little bit about your warehouse experience? I feel like this is going to be important as to the weighing up of who's playing it stronger here. Sure. I don't want to name company names because several of them still exist and are large enough to be weirdly litigious. Yeah, you realize what we're doing on this show, right? You're talking to me?
Starting point is 00:25:44 Kind of everyone, I guess, but more to Ben. Yeah, but we'll start from my first warehouse experience. I was a landscaper in high school because, again, there's nothing where I'm from. So you just drive a tractor around places, and there's a lot of just storage for beer companies, just huge refrigerator warehouses, train depots. And so, and you can just go in and out of them. There's no, I mean, if, if you have a tractor within a quarter mile of you, you can just walk right inside. There is no security.
Starting point is 00:26:16 I've been near billions of cans of all the shitty beers that we have out here, just stacked up and neat orderly rows and no one's batted an eye. shitty beers that we have out here just stacked up and neat orderly rows and no one's batted an eye so i mean every now and then you drive the tractor through it actually to get to a different part of the law they don't give a shit so uh i really know this seems like the warehouse is honestly that's the easiest part of the whole yeah yeah yeah we've got a man with knowledge on the inside well i think we've heard enough from both of you ben and dana What we'll do now is we're going to break to confer with one another as we discuss the merits of your respective ideas. And when we come back to you, we will have made a decision
Starting point is 00:26:51 as to which idea will be winning this episode of Killing Air TV. Thank you both for your time so far. And stay right there. Yeah, you'll be with us soon. Thoughts, Guy? I like both the ideas. I like both of them. And I like the similarities between them.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah. They've sort of, I think, you probably start, you pick the fruit of which is the six of them or seven of them together. Oh, great pitch, Ben. I don't know, people could unmute themselves. How did we hear that? And that was really sweet.
Starting point is 00:27:30 That endears him to me. But I feel like that's the idea. And then what they've wrapped around them, they're both so different. I've got to say, I just have to say this, because it's an unconscious cum conscious bias. Cum conscious. Yeah, I'm really conscious about my cum.
Starting point is 00:27:48 And I'd also like to say that Ben is a silken voiced motherfucker. That guy has got... Yeah, I know, but don't let that... I know, but I just have to address it because it is undeniable. I know. That guy has got... Listen, there's no getting around it. He's got a voice like, honey, it's crazy.
Starting point is 00:28:00 It's a great voice. Forget warehouses. This guy should be doing commercial voice work i couldn't believe he should at least be on the speakers in the fucking warehouse yeah 100 sell me a mattress ben yeah talk to me about it you know tell me about the soft cushiony layers and the pillows i've just had to say that because it was all i was thinking about and now we can talk about the ideas for what they are uh dana reginald Fluff, big fan of that name. Yeah. Did a lot of heavy lifting for me in terms of the film.
Starting point is 00:28:26 It's creative. It's a lot of fun. They've also, interestingly, both taken central conceits from very different movies. We've got The Human Centipede in Ben's idea. And we've got King Ralph, was it? Yeah. Which sounds like something we should check out, actually. It does sound like quite a good time.
Starting point is 00:28:41 Sounds like something we should check out, actually. It does sound like quite a good time. I like Dana's reference also to all these rich billionaires being destined for divorce. I don't wish divorce on anyone except billionaires. And it's true. I mean, you see these stories. Like Elon Musk. Zuckerberg's the closest thing to a family man I know of these guys.
Starting point is 00:29:04 Terrifying. Yeah, you've got your Musks musks your gates is who everyone assumed was okay but because he wore glasses which is like such a classic trick um i also like dane is leveraging of the corporations as people saying to get him kicked off you know but um the helicopters thing is really attractive to me Because Ben's so right about that Rich people fucking love helicopters And helicopters fucking love killing people So in this we stage their deaths
Starting point is 00:29:34 And then stitch them together And put them in the hole And no one knows It sounds like maybe we reveal that afterwards Unfortunately the Q&A portion has ended But the way I understood it is, yeah, we fake their deaths so the world media is like, oh, these guys died. But then secretly we stitch them up and then maybe we reveal it
Starting point is 00:29:52 while we throw them in the hole. It's a pretty big assumption to think everyone's going to be on side with that. Oh, are you kidding me? Everyone's going to love it. If you met people, they're going to fucking love it. My vote's with Ben. Yeah, look, I want to fight for dana but i'm with you my instincts are telling me ben all right here we go you tell them um thank you so much for waiting uh we've just had a pretty spirited discussion but we have
Starting point is 00:30:18 arrived at the same larry page on who will win this edition of Kill Your Knees. That was improv, he didn't even write that down. No way, let me see the pad No So We've got two fantastic people ideas, pictures movie influences
Starting point is 00:30:41 and ultimately plans to execute a trillionaire we have a metaphorical version of gluing a bunch of billionaires together to form a trillionaire whole and then we've got the literal embodiment of that in Ben's plan we have
Starting point is 00:30:58 Reginald Fluff, a name that I am a big fan of, I like a good name, I like a funny name Reginald Fluff, it does i like a good name i like a funny name reginald fluff it does sound like a cartoon villain hyper rich dude um we have the human centrillionaire which is which is also a pretty good phrase really good we've got helicopters i'm a big fan of helicopters as i mentioned a guy moments ago rich people love helicopters helicopters love killing people so this does work in tandem ultimately despite the strength of both pitches we have agreed that ben's pitch was stronger today
Starting point is 00:31:33 but dana i want to recognize all of the fantastic details uh that we love so much about yours also would you like to say anything first off dana oh it's just an honor to be here and join in the group effort of killing a trillionaire. For comedy. Thank you. For comedy. Comedy. Thank you, Dana. We appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:31:56 And Ben, in your moment of victory, is there anything you'd like to say? It's an honor just to be nominated. You know, it was another great pitch. Again, similar thinking um yeah yeah they say great minds think alike but then they also say small minds seldom differ i don't know which one you two fall into but uh i guess you get to choose you can choose now to call them call them A, call them B. Yeah, Dana's chosen both. Very good.
Starting point is 00:32:28 Okay, well, we've made our choice. Thus concludes this episode of Kelly and Air. Thank you both so much for joining us and putting the time in. And Ben, the final word goes to you. I was about to say, may I be a dickhead and plug two things? Yeah, you've already been a dickhead
Starting point is 00:32:43 and plugged one thing at the start, so why not add two more? You've also plugged seven people together. I mean, I don't know why you're asking for permission at this point. Hey, you know, I'm just trying to be polite. I had permission to do both of those things. Wow, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:58 Kind of. Go ahead. I'm in a band called The Throw Ups. If you can believe that name wasn't taken We're very good And we have stuff to buy I can't believe the name wasn't taken I'm in a less good but very silly
Starting point is 00:33:13 I do a less good but very silly podcast With another one of my redneck buddies Called Road Sodas If anybody wants to check that out It's on everywhere that you'd expect it to be And I'm just This was fucking awesome. I just want to say that.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Well, Ben, let me ask you this. What's the Bandcamp link for the throw-ups? Ooh, it's probably the underscore throw-ups. Cool. Dot Bandcamp dot com. But we're on Spotify as well. Where everyone's off Spotify now, man. Oh, my bad.
Starting point is 00:33:43 They're going through tough times. We're on iTunes. Everyone's going to Tidal now. Yeah, we're on Bandcamp. Fantastic. Thank you again, both. See you in the winning circle. Ben, Dana, hope to see you sometime in Canada, right?
Starting point is 00:33:57 Canada, yeah. P-E-I, Prince Edward Island. One of the most beautiful parts of this godforsaken globe. Peace and love, man. Peace and love. Same to you.

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