The Yak - 'Cranky Brandon' is Gonna Be a Children's Bestseller | The Yak 8-15-24

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

The wheel assigns Klemmer a new purple hat buddyYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstoo...l.link/barstoolyak

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, DJ, pull that up. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Hello, it's the Yak. Roback.com, promo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase. Cues us polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts. Roback.com, promo code Yak.
Starting point is 00:00:37 Steve's taking his picture. Where's KB? I don't know. He's been an early boy. He was here at like 8 o'clock this morning. I don't know where he is now. I'll be honest. I thought you guys were on your Indy trip, and I parked in his spot today.
Starting point is 00:00:49 Oh, no. Really? Uh-oh. You guys are going to Indy tonight? Yeah. Uh-oh. Is that a problem? You want to come through?
Starting point is 00:00:57 Special guest Big Cat. Yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah. Wow. Whoa. Brandon did ask me. I did ask you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:02 It would have been a nice little pop. It was the quickest no I've ever received. One of the fastest no's ever. It is. No, I obviously love you guys, but I'm not driving to Indy tonight. That's fair. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:14 That's fair. I said if it was in Chicago, I'd be in. Yeah. Sure, you said that. Which may be coming soon. Great, I'm in. But yeah. I don't know what else I would want to do less. There's got to be a lot would what i'd want to do less uh there's gotta be a lot of
Starting point is 00:01:28 things you'd want to do less sleep over in my house yeah that would be less would you rather put like one quick paper cut on a ball no i'd do that i'd do that before um and again it's also not uh indie or you guys it's i'm not insulted it's been traveling a shit or you guys. I'm not insulted. It's been traveling a shitload, and I really don't want to have to travel again. We got summer camp next week. Yeah. We're all excited about that. Summer camps will be great. By the way, the Thursday Yak next week.
Starting point is 00:01:55 So a week from today, we'll be doing the Yak an hour early. So get ready for that. We'll still do like two hours but we're gonna do an hour early because we got to do the act before we leave summer camp and i also don't want people to get stuck in traffic and all that stuff we gotta deal with customs and stuff getting back customs yeah all that stuff yeah i'm so excited for summer camp i am too i'm excited too we have a bugle oh we should get a bugle. It's like a true summer camp.
Starting point is 00:02:28 We're staying in cabins. Are bugles easy to come by? I don't think you're going to stumble upon it. I still have a bag of bugles in my car for you. Yeah? Yeah, I was bringing them to your house. I'll probably stop and get some bugles today on the way to Indy. When was the last time you had a bugle?
Starting point is 00:02:43 Last weekend. Are you guys carpooling? No, we're doing the exact opposite. I seem to be the... We're taking like five cars. I'm taking the bus like a loser. Kind of looking forward to it. Wait, you're taking the bus? Wait, can we talk about Indy tonight?
Starting point is 00:02:55 You're not going. Oh, sorry. I was thinking about the last bus. Oh, yeah. I saw a lot of cock. The summer camp. No, no. Wait, so you guys are all driving separately to Indy?
Starting point is 00:03:06 So I can't make it home tonight. Because if we got done at 10, I drove to Chicago. It's 1 a.m. by the time I get to my house. Your wife trusts you in Indy? It's 2 a.m. You know about the floozies in Indy, dude? I got to get up at 6, so I'm going to stop somewhere on the way back. You get an hour back, though.
Starting point is 00:03:22 I'm going to stop somewhere on the way back and spend the night. You drive often to Alabama or Mississippi, wherever you're from. Yeah, I like to drive. Where are you going to stay tonight? Somewhere. Crown Point? Maybe Merrillville. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Maybe Crown Point. You've got to get back into central time. Do I have to? No, but it would help. I can ground you, yeah. Okay. Well, I don't know how. Where does that happen?
Starting point is 00:03:43 Not too far away from indy yeah okay so i should be fine i'll be yeah i was thinking about getting right outside chicago to where it's about an hour drive in in the morning who cares um what don't ask me what are the what are the summer camp events uh just got that email didn't there's a bunch yeah i want chay to do a three-legged race just alone. Just sprint. Three-legged? How? His giant body armor-sized dick.
Starting point is 00:04:12 I was talking to Will about it yesterday because he was like, do I have to be worried about my back? I don't think there's any back injury games. Tug of War would probably be the number one. Yeah. But, yeah, a lot of it is just fun stuff And then we're going to do So we're going to split the teams next Tuesday on the Yak We're going to draft the teams
Starting point is 00:04:30 And then we're going to play the summer camp games on Tuesday We also have games on Wednesday Then there's a big relay race to finish it Beautiful But on Tuesday night we're going to play 16-inch softball Between the two teams. Winning team gets steak and lobster.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Losing team gets a pack of hot dogs they have to cook over a fire. Okay. That's a win-win. That sounds pretty good. Pretty fun. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty fun.
Starting point is 00:04:57 I'm, like, stupidly assuming that there's going to be s'mores and we're going to be around the campfire at night hanging out. I don't think so. No, that's stupid. Is it? Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to go back to my area and just ignore everybody yeah okay i'm clocking in clocking out i have like high hopes and big expectations who's going to be the first person to get a hotel brandon right he's already got one we're staying in cabins it's not really a big deal no i i've been brandon walker for a long time at this company i don't
Starting point is 00:05:24 know how that works. What? I'm going to get there, and you're going to say, actually, that's where my bag sleeps. And then Jerry's going to say, oh, no, that's where my dog sleeps. And then KB's going to say, and then he's going to take both sides and then end up on the funniest side, and I'm going to end up getting a hotel. Right?
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yeah, probably. Yeah, that's probably right. You probably nailed it. and then yeah we would spin like big brandon we know you're too tall for these bunks like that's why we gave you the floor because we love you yeah and the bunks are eight feet long and then you're gonna have like a side conversation with me at breakfast being like what the fuck i deserve more respect yeah he'll bring up how many months are left on his contract five ask me about ringer contact we should have a brandon walker uh contract countdown like clock in the office i think yeah like the big game ohio state michigan yeah just every day
Starting point is 00:06:18 we walk in is just a day less just saying just oh that'd be great little respect will go a long especially when dave comes to the office he's like what is that little respect go all right we got to figure that out we got to get a we got to get a digital i'm not asking for that no but i would like to see that i would just like to have a visual representation of when your contract is second by second yeah we need that and we need like a construction like warehouse thing like last day since last n word from mincy oh wow yeah on camera or off camera always zero uh yeah he has to go he has to go fix it himself that would be awesome if we had a doomsday clock for your contract yeah every time you got pissed off you just tweet a picture of it brandon you like point at it like a wrestler on the road to wrestlemania pointing
Starting point is 00:07:00 out the sign just like standing there posing with your finger. You brought it up. I didn't bring it up. No, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would like to get the clock. Okay. I think we should get a clock. It's not going to be a running thing.
Starting point is 00:07:12 I'm sure. Well, no, I know it isn't, but I want it to be. You want to make it a running thing. Yeah, right. Exactly. But when Dave gets here, he's going to think I made it a running thing. Yeah, right. I don't know who put that clock up.
Starting point is 00:07:23 How'd that sound? That's like you just talking normally. I have no idea. I think that's a Brandon thing. I think he was trying to put the screws to us. Yeah. Whatever y'all want to do, man. KB, why were you late? My Uber driver asked to use...
Starting point is 00:07:40 Never mind. I just was late. Okay. No problem. Sorry. No problem Sorry No problem Actually, really sorry I don't intend to do that No, why would you be sorry?
Starting point is 00:07:50 Because he was late That's kind of fucked up I do it a lot You're the one guy who can be late I don't think that's fair No, I think he's like I hate that I am He's been on the most Yak episodes, I think
Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah, he's the Iron Man I actually did the math I don't on the most Yak episodes I think Yeah he's the Iron Man I don't know the exact math but I'm guessing I think it might be 750 YouTube episodes What? You guys are probably right behind me That's pretty crazy You're Cal Ripken 750
Starting point is 00:08:20 750 How many hours would that be? A lot of hours Remember when we used to do only an hour? How many unique would that be? A lot of hours. I don't like times. Remember when we used to do only an hour? How many unique words do you think you said? Well, we had a two-hour phase, too.
Starting point is 00:08:31 That's not many unique words. We're in a two-hour phase. No, but we had the radio. Oh, yeah, the radio show was two hours. Then we went one hour, and then every time we ended it, like, hour and ten, people were like, it ended so early. And now we're going to end up, I the the way this show works is it's gonna end up that the show is gonna be a 24-hour show that just never turns off and they're gonna complain about that yeah yeah yep what are you gonna say kb when did
Starting point is 00:08:55 we switch to like consistently two hours um feels like it's kind of morphed into it. A year ago-ish. I'll say 1.6. You're figuring out how many hours? Well, 1,200. I think it's... Wait, no, it's got to be... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that makes sense. I'm bad.
Starting point is 00:09:14 I don't think there were that many one-hour shows. There was a good stretch of one-hour shows. There is a... You know. Sirius was always hard out at one hour on the dot. Yeah, for a while it was. And I think when we first started YouTube, it was always hard out. Hard out one hour on the dot. Yeah. There was a show after us. And I think when we first started YouTube, it was about an hour. We probably did a year of Sirius at two hours, though.
Starting point is 00:09:31 No, Sirius was one, right? We had a two-hour Sirius period. What time were we on? No, it was always an hour. CCK went right after. Yeah, but it was 12 to 2. It used to be 1 to 2, then it went 12 to 2. No, I never did.
Starting point is 00:09:44 No. I used to walk the line at 11, I would do Yak from 12-2. Is that true? I don't think. I guarantee you we actually went 1. I would have known. I remember We had a two hour serious period, boys. No, I think we asked to go for two hours
Starting point is 00:09:57 when we did Friday Vibes. We had a two hour serious period. I don't think we ever had a consistent period. I think Brandon might be right. You think? I think so. Steven, how long is... How many years have we been doing the act? Call Gonzo. January 18th or 17th, 2018. Okay, so that will be seven years this January?
Starting point is 00:10:17 Wow. Seven years this January. Jesus Christ. So you think the show's been on air for like 2,000 hours? Yeah. So Malcolm Gladwell... Way more. You're 20% for like 2,000 hours? Yeah. So Malcolm Gladwell. Way more. You're 20% of the way to being good.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Yeah. You're one-fifth. We have one-fifth of a good show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we're working on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:35 We're getting there. We're slowly but surely. Wow. We have to decide today. So I am going to agree. There was a follow-up yesterday for the Clemmer Purple Hat. Last week of August, he's going to go purple hat hunting. He just was like, I don't think he has any plans,
Starting point is 00:10:56 so we got to figure out where we want him to go. Let's state wheel. I was thinking what we could do is start him in the panhandle and then he snakes his way up so that on that friday he comes and delivers all the purple hats he gets why do the states have to be uh beside each other why can't you go from texas to wyoming to north carolina i think having the west empty and filling it in makes it more dramatic as you hang each one down the stretch. Like the final ones are like Rhode Island and Vermont
Starting point is 00:11:27 and stuff. That's lame. That's not as impactful when we go to hang them. Can we get him a car that's wrapped? Can we get him like a wrapped vehicle? Like Dumb and Dumber? Yeah, like we had one from Rediscovering. We had a van that got wrapped. And can we have him drive up from Louisiana? Wait, can we get
Starting point is 00:11:43 a giant purple hat to go on top of the car? Yeah. Wait, can we have him drive up from louisiana wait can we get a giant purple hat to go on top yeah yeah during that week that that he wherever we started him he has to do knock out a region that week whether he's in the south the west he has to knock out a region well i just want him to i want him to finish here on that friday right before labor day and i i'm just thinking of like what makes the most sense and it probably, yeah, if he starts at the panhandle, does Mississippi, Alabama... You've said panhandle twice and I'm not sure which one. There's a lot of panhandles. Texas or Florida?
Starting point is 00:12:15 Florida is the panhandle. Time out. No, no, no, no. When you say panhandle, you think Texas? I think Oklahoma. I think Texas and Oklahoma. I think Texas and Oklahoma. Florida's the panhandle. No, I think Texas would drag you for that, sir. I wouldn't say. So is Florida a hybrid of two panhandles?
Starting point is 00:12:31 It's one panhandle. The whole thing is just one panhandle. That's a peninsula, right? Yeah, there's a peninsula with a panhandle. But you could say that's a panhandle coming off the- No, that's a peninsula. Peninsula with panhandle in Orlando. It's more of a gun, really.
Starting point is 00:12:42 Well, that's a droopy penis. Well, yeah, gun isn't a geography term. It's true. It's more of a gun really. Well, that's a droopy penis. Well, yeah, gun isn't a geography term. It's true. The old Italy gun. It is more of a gun. Yeah, I think that's what we're going to have him do. He can go all the way up
Starting point is 00:12:57 and he can stake up and he can try to hit Arkansas. You vacationed one time in Florida and you just claimed the panhandle. I just went to the panhandle. That happened one time. I've been to the panhandle a few times. That's fine, but now you and you just claimed the panhandle. I just went to the panhandle. Did that? That happened one time. No, I've been to the panhandle a few times. That's fine, but now you're just giving Florida the panhandle?
Starting point is 00:13:11 Oklahoma and Texas would be pissed. Search panhandle. That might be Texas. Florida. Whatever the first image is on panhandle. Yes. Then we let bygones be bygones. Shake hands.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Yeah, we agree. I think Florida is the foremost panhandle. Whoa. Why are you taking his side? That's a big endorsement. I'm not on his. I don't think you can just call that the panhandle. I don't either. Panhandle.
Starting point is 00:13:36 The Oklahoma panhandle. Fuck! No! Number one. No, no, no, no. Oklahoma was in that. No, we said images. No!
Starting point is 00:13:42 We said images. We did not. We said images. We said images. In the very definition, it No. We said images. We did not. We said images. We said images. In the very definition, it said Oklahoma panhandle. Well, you said Texas. We said images. Oklahoma panhandle.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Right there. That's an example. That's an example. We said images. I said Texas or Oklahoma. No, we said images. You don't get two picks. We said images.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Brandon, we agreed to let bygones be bygones. We lost this one, brother. Check my hand. Right there. It's literally the first image. And the second. And the third. Wow. And then the fifth. It's a blowout. That's a blowout.. And the second. And the third. Wow.
Starting point is 00:14:06 And then the fifth. It's a blowout. That's a blowout. I do not see that. I do not see that. Look at that. Florida in a blowout. Brandon, defend yourself.
Starting point is 00:14:13 I do not see that. Tell them Oklahoma looks just like a pan. Look at it. It looks like a pan. We agreed on a deal. I'm going to be honest. I don't know where the Texas panhandle is. Which one is it?
Starting point is 00:14:23 That's a very wide top. I think it's too wide to be a panhandle. Is El Paso in the Panhandle? The map said it's the top. It's the top? Yeah. That's not a panhandle. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:14:31 It's very wide. That's like a square region. That's a square. Shake my hand, sir. You got it, dude. No, there's panhandles everywhere. You made a deal. Ran only five months later.
Starting point is 00:14:40 The way you said it was the Panhandle, and I assumed we'd all know it was Florida. And that was crazy. I did assume it was Florida right away. Yeah, of course you did. The way you said it was, the panhandle, and I assumed we'd all know it was Florida. And that was crazy. I did assume it was Florida right away. Yeah, of course you did. Hey, you're trash. Yeah. Panhandles are trash. They are.
Starting point is 00:14:53 West Virginia's got two of them, huh? Two. We definitely had a two-hour series of panhandles. Yeah, I'm from a panhandle. Thank you. He shook my hand. He shook my hand. I assumed you guys were talking about kitchenware.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I'm right. Of course. I'm right. Is Idaho's a panhandle? Yes. Yes, the very tippy right. Of course. I'm right. Is Idaho's a panhandle? Yes. Yes, the very tippy top. Nebraska has one. What does it take to be a panhandle? Just be a handle. I think it just has to be a jut, right? You just have to be able to grab
Starting point is 00:15:13 that state by the... Well, so all of California's a panhandle? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. All of something can't be a panhandle. It's a feature of a place. We didn't know a panhandle could be all panhandle. It's a feature of a place. We didn't know a panhandle could be all panhandle. How?
Starting point is 00:15:29 Where's the pan? If it's all handle, where's the pan? Oh, Alaska has a panhandle. Where's the pan broke off? Yeah. You think that if the rest of Florida just fell in the ocean, they would stop calling it the panhandle? Yeah, it'd just be Florida. Oh.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Interesting. Either way, he's going to start at the panhandle. Okay. And get up. And snake his way up Wait, why don't we just have him get a hat from every panhandle? What if he's got to get a pan from the panhandle? That would be cool I like that, purple pan
Starting point is 00:15:57 He should be able to knock out east of the Mississippi by the end of the year I'm going to say that I'm going to put that challenge out there Every state east of the Mississippi should be knocked out. The last week of August, he should be able to get like seven states on his way back up to Chicago. Also, this has to be prime hat hunting season, right? Correct.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Winter's coming. Oh, do purple snow hats count? Yeah, of course. Look at our variety of hats. Yeah, you're right. That's a dumb question. Of course. It all counts. Okay okay so that's set yeah well we'll we'll set him on a budget this is not going to make us any money but i will i will give him the go ahead how long does he have is the last week of august
Starting point is 00:16:41 so he has a week yeah he's got to end up in Chicago on Friday to deliver us the hats because really it's as much as it's about the video it's about filling in this fucking map how should he go about the video output edit it or I think he's going to bring a social guy with him
Starting point is 00:16:59 do you mean to have him call in? sure oh and maybe when he finally gets here that can be the release day for the special purple Yak hats. That can be like the big. That checks out. Yeah. That would make sense. I thought you guys were all going to go crazy at that suggestion.
Starting point is 00:17:16 Oh, shit. Yes. She's brilliant. Alaska is a final state makes sense to me. We drop him in Denali National Park. Yeah. We drop him on that bus. How are we dropping him, by the way?
Starting point is 00:17:26 Huh? How are we dropping him? Like probably by a helicopter. I think he'd fall like one of those spinning pedals. And he's just got to like, yeah. Those helicopter pods? Yeah, right. He's got a Bear Grylls his way with a purple hat.
Starting point is 00:17:41 He's a hundred miles from the nearest person. That's the final. Find a purple hat. That's a hundred miles from the nearest person. That's the final. To find a purple hat. That's the last one. It's the final frontier. Yeah, we actually don't. Well, no, you can zoom in. Yeah, he's got nothing.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Yeah, I just want the last one to be epic. Yeah, he should save Hawaii. We did do two hour episodes, I guess, over COVID. Oh, yeah, Roan and I did. So I never did that. Oh, yeah. No, but then we came back to the office. Then we went back to one, right?
Starting point is 00:18:14 No. I think it was when the station expanded. It was, the act started as a one-hour show, then we added the shows as when it went to two, if I'm not mistaken. I could be wrong. That was my day, boys. I had to walk the line a 30 minute break two hour yak and then whatever that was every day who was like our um premiere serious in office guests uh yes who are we always bringing in i don't know that we did it as much back then
Starting point is 00:18:46 I do remember comedians coming through Pretty regularly In the original New York office That shitty SiriusXM room I remember comedians coming through That office was tight With two studios total What was the worst
Starting point is 00:19:02 Working situation for you? Was it that office or when we first got to first got here yeah that was tough you were down pretty bad yeah real seen you like that yeah it was it was tough yeah because i wanted to i wanted to be in a year that feels like so long ago i know but it was like pretty much exactly a year that we started almost a year yeah i think it was exactly a year because this bought the company back, what is it, last week? Mm-hmm. So yeah, one of the first years.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Y'all been here a year. I've been here about a year and a half. Yeah, you have. Yeah. Good for you. Yeah, it was nice. Took the last summer off. It was a good summer.
Starting point is 00:19:39 It was a great summer. Damn good summer. One of your best summers ever. Top five. Yeah? Oh, what are the other four? No idea. Probably all in my youth.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Getting in guts at Shady Lake. Yep. Shady Lake. I got an issue. What? I feel like we missed the moment. Well, I was out when you guys did your Boom and Doom. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:06 That hurt me profoundly. I feel like we're on the other side of the Boom guys, the Costco guys. Maybe they've got peaked. What do you mean? Like it's too much. They've jumped the shark. Like overexposed? Of course they have. Yeah, they started using the Rizzlers.
Starting point is 00:20:25 I'm talking to you. But I've also just been texting with Big Justice about like. So I think it's going to be. You've been texting him? Yeah. You gave him your number? Yeah, he gave me his number. You've been texting Big.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Wait, wait, wait. That's the boy. That's the boy. No. AJ. Shit. Woo. AJ. Shit. AJ. Woo.
Starting point is 00:20:46 AJ, sorry. I mean. But I don't know what to do now because the moment has passed. You've just been texting. No, I think they have to come through. And he just keeps asking, like, when should we come through? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:01 I think it's time. A what's for lunch with Chef Donnie. Yeah. That'd be good yeah well you see the lines being drawn yeah it's this you got to pick a side of big justice you got a grizzler the justice crew yeah people are gearing up for a for a civil war the costco guys yeah the tension is unreal i do want do want them to run the car wash at Barstow. I want them to do every show. I do too. Every single show.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I want them on Macro Dosey. I want them on Anus. I want them on the Nicky Smokes and Maresh's new soccer show. Yeah, that's right. They have the Rizzler on there. That would be great. I want them to do every show. Fury After Dark.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Yes. Literally every single TikToks with the intern Like everything Those boys can riff You see they can kind of riff They were on like a stream right Did you see the ice cream clip Didn't see the ice cream clip
Starting point is 00:21:59 They were eating ice cream And the Rizzler was like This is the best ice cream I've ever had And Big Justice chimes in You said that yesterday That's damn good stuff And the day before That's a riff
Starting point is 00:22:14 If you want to know the reason the stream was a little late Jake broke down That's probably the best ice cream I've ever had You said that last night Oh shit That's probably the best ice cream I ever had. Bro, you said that last night. Oh, shit. Poor Rizzler. Make a riff.
Starting point is 00:22:36 That's a good riff. That's a great riff. Bro, you said that last night. Bang, done. Riff over. Yeah, I want him playing like, if Hank can get some mini golf going for him. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:52 Father, son gauntlet. Amazing. Rizzler and his dad versus AJ. Wake up Mincy. Wake up Mincy. Oh, my God. I do wake up. Wow.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I want to actually like get them, like I want to almost like work them to death. I want to see what they got I want to almost work them to death. I want to see what they got. Judy Garland. Push them to the absolute limit. 12 hours on camera. Expose them to asbestos. Oh, yeah. We got our asbestos room.
Starting point is 00:23:20 That's right. What? I believe that. We should get one. Why not? It's a timeout room. It's just a room full of asbestos. Here's something bad.
Starting point is 00:23:33 They declined to do quick picks there, didn't they? That was a quick no. Yeah, we'll pass. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck. I feel like something big is going to happen soon Oh Hello Try that again buddy
Starting point is 00:23:52 Hello Fuck you Brandon What's behind you You have that up in your house You could just say it I don't know what it is I'm at the office You have that up in your house? You could just say it. I don't know what it is. I'm at the office.
Starting point is 00:24:08 Oh. You don't want to tell us? Tell you what? What's behind you? I don't know. It's a man. You can read it. This man here.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Cardboard cutout. It's one of the Kyles, right? It's got to be a Kyle. It's Chase Elliott. Chase Elliott. I'm in the office. I don't know. How many times do you think we'll have him on Zoom and ask him what's behind him before he realizes what we're doing?
Starting point is 00:24:30 What has happened to that stool logo? That's like a neon light. That's how they'd probably do it in neon. Explain. Explain it. Explain for the podcast listeners, please. So they get a clear image of what we're looking at. Looking at a malnourished middle-aged man.
Starting point is 00:24:46 The location of the room. They know who you are. They don't know what room you're in. Where are we looking? I'm in one of the rooms across from the bathroom. We're curious about the wallpaper and where it is. I did not do this.
Starting point is 00:24:59 If someone just were to tune in right now, it's like, hey, I'm Chris Clemmer, and, you know, look at this. Spatially, where is – what is that? It's one of the – Just start the whole thing over and explain it. I think you guys are running a game on me here.
Starting point is 00:25:18 I don't know what to say. Three, two, one, go. So I'm live from a purple wallpapered room here. What's New York? That's not his line. That's not his line a purple wallpapered room here. That's not his line. That's not his line. Oh, I see. Behind me. Yay! All right, Clemmer.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Thanks for joining us. I'll text you about the trip, okay? Okay, that sounds good. All right, see ya. All right, bye. One of one one of one great hit he nailed that hit we oh we forgot to talk about the schedule yeah that was the whole point of it all
Starting point is 00:25:57 out of it at all yeah it was get him back on tell him to do the intro correctly though this guy Get him back on. Tell him to do the intro correctly, though. This guy. Yeah. So, yeah, back to, I don't know what to do. Rizzler. That's what. All reliable.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Mm-hmm. But my intuition is like, okay, there's a lot of people who hate it, but also there's a lot of people who love to hate it, and also people who love it. It gets people feeling. I think it'll be like when Zlatan was in the office. Everybody would gather around. Who?
Starting point is 00:26:39 Zlatan. Oh, wow. I bet you guys had no idea who I was talking about with that fucking error I made. Fuck you guys. Get off your high horse. I was fine. Yeah, I was cool with it. Hey, Clemmer.
Starting point is 00:26:54 I'm back. Yeah, intro yourself. Behind me is a wallpaper. Did we do this bit already? Yeah, all right. So the schedule is going to be you're going to start in the panhandle. When I say panhandle, what do you think?
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah, I told Brandon, Florida. Yeah, okay, great. All right, so we're going to start. I texted him during the argument. I was trying to get some proof, and then he said Florida. All right, we're going to have you start in the panhandle. You're going to sneak up and then finish in Chicago on that Friday. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:25 That work? I think so, yeah. Got to figure out, A, who's coming with me. Yeah, you can pick. Well, I mean, I don't want to... I don't know. Well, who do you like to work with? What? I don't know who... I don't want to pull
Starting point is 00:27:42 anyone away from work for that whole week. You know what I mean? Well, they'd still be working. Right. Yeah, but they have duties or things they have to get done or whatever. Who would be your number one draft pick? You think we have the queen's guard here? They can leave. Yeah, whoever's free.
Starting point is 00:27:59 I don't care. This is their duty. Whoever you guys have in mind. Who would bring out the best in you? I'm serious. Who do you like working with? You want to go with Mincy? You want Mincy to take you to the South? I don't want Nate.
Starting point is 00:28:12 That's the only thing. Mincy would be a lot. So maybe no Mincy and no Nate. Everyone else is on board. So it sounds like you have some people you don't want. Yes, it sounds like you should pick. Mincy, that would be a wild ride. What about Meek Phil?
Starting point is 00:28:28 I've gone to North Dakota with Meek Phil. South Dakota Meek. That was fine. I guess I'll pick now. No Mincy, no Nate. Do the company wheel. Everybody on the company wide wheel. They have to.
Starting point is 00:28:43 Oh my god. If it's you. This is pretty easy work. everybody on the oh yeah let's do company wheel they have to oh my god but if I if it's you and then whoever has to go Titus seems to think this is pretty easy work maybe he should come along
Starting point is 00:28:50 I'll come with you I'll come with you Titus be finished by now if this was his assignment I think we should do the company wheel you're right yeah
Starting point is 00:28:58 okay let's do three on the company wheel and then a final three yeah and then maybe they have to compete for something to see loser has to go.
Starting point is 00:29:05 Oh, yeah. That's good. No, it's a terrible trip. We're on this. It's not going to be us. It's not a great trip. It's always you. It is always me. Every time you have to spin a wheel to see who's going. That's true.
Starting point is 00:29:21 Company wheels. All right, we're going to do the company wheel and we'll do the company wheel and let you know who it lands on. All right, my goal is I come back, so I'm hoping to get one of three hats. What do you mean your goal? Your goal was the title of the series. Yeah, your goal is to get purple hats. No, no, no, I mean for just this trip. How many?
Starting point is 00:29:38 I'm hoping to have one to three hats. No! What? Florida? Oh, no, no, no, no. One to three hats by the time I'm done with this New England thing I'm doing this weekend. So when I come back, I'd like to have ten hats with me when I'm in Chicago. So, at least.
Starting point is 00:29:56 I've got to point out, one to three hats is not a goal. Three hats is a goal. Right. No, the overall goal is ten hats. But you've got to realize that's a colossal failure. I want to come back. No, only for the New England part. But you got it as a colossal failure. I want to come back. No, only for the New England part. Get three hats.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Three hats in New England. I have things I need to do at a certain time I have to get back. You're having a ninja tournament meeting. We are a 10X podcast. I understand. I want you coming back with 300 hats. I've always been real with you, Chris. I'm going to come back.
Starting point is 00:30:24 Titus will do it. Titus will get three. I would get three. I think deep down you know that, Chris. You know that I would get three. I don't. You're limiting your own values. I know you'll probably leave work at three. He might need competition.
Starting point is 00:30:39 He might need competition. I don't violently detest having someone race him. Yeah. I don't either.est having someone race him. Yeah. I don't either. Yeah, fuck it. We put the other map. Push him. Yeah. Because he is not pushing himself.
Starting point is 00:30:51 No, he's not pushing himself. I am pushing myself. Your goal was one this weekend. No, one to three. I'm hoping New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Maine. Will you be disappointed if you only get one purple hat in this trip? In the New England trip? Yes.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I'll be disappointed, yeah. What about two? Will you be disappointed with two? Eh, I don't know. I have a million. I'm not going to be there very long. I have to. Here's what we're going to do, Clemmer.
Starting point is 00:31:20 I have my niece's birthday, and I have to come back because my wife has something going on Sunday. I have to come back Saturday night. Is there going to be people at your niece's birthday party? I've been there for like two days. Buy a child's hat. This is going to make it very easy. I'm going to set up the – forget the New England trip that you're doing. I expect three hats.
Starting point is 00:31:35 I demand three hats. Yeah. When we do the trip you're doing in the end of August, we're going to figure out how many states you're going to go through. And I think, like, let's say you go through seven states. I think if you don't come back with at least six hats, then you're just going to have to pay for the whole trip yourself. No, I don't think so. Yeah, I think so. No, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:31:56 Yeah, we got to put the pressure on them. No, I'm better than that. We got to put the pressure on them. You're not self-motivated. Right. So I got to do it. Oh, shit. Fuck you, Brandon.
Starting point is 00:32:04 He gets a little too angry. i'll put my work against most people in that office i think i'm doing okay relax relax all right all right oh oh oh oh you've been feisty whoa i don't know if you know this but brandon's contract's up in five months he's barely chicago well i know well brandon's always does really well with the sponsors, too. So maybe we could have high noon sponsors. I just. Oh, Jesus. What do you think about that? Is that what happened?
Starting point is 00:32:28 He's coming at your neck. What's happening right now? Clever needs a Xanax, dude. No, just. I put a little heat on him and he goes. Yeah. It's like. Clever, you've had too much.
Starting point is 00:32:38 We got six hats. I think. I think it's he knows. He knows. He's defensive because he knows he should have more hats. When I'm in Chicago, the day before Labor Day, I'm going to have at least 10 hats, hopefully more. Do me a favor, Clemmer.
Starting point is 00:32:48 When you finish this, go into the bathroom, look in the mirror, and be like, that's the guy who's not getting the hats. Yeah. It ain't me. It ain't Titus. Yeah. It's not Brandon. I'm getting the hats.
Starting point is 00:32:59 But you're not getting them in a fast enough clip. He might be saying 10 new hats. In which case, that's good. But he's just saying it. He's not getting them in a fast enough clip. He might be saying 10 new hats. In which case, that's good. But he's just saying it. He's not getting them. All right, well, this will be decided. I have a plan in place, Brady. He's got a plan in place.
Starting point is 00:33:11 I sent Jay some ideas of where I could go. You guys came back, Payne. I think that's a great idea. But what do you mean by ideas of where you should go? The map tells you where you should go. The map without, the states without hats are where you should go. No, if you go out west, it's much harder because the states are so big.
Starting point is 00:33:28 If you're in that area, Tennessee, Arkansas, Missouri, you can knock out a bunch in one shot. I gotta say, I'm disappointed. I understand why you got Colorado already, but it would have been really cool if you just stood at the four corners. You had to beckon somebody over to you.
Starting point is 00:33:43 Let me buy your hat over here. And you just stood there. That would have been awesome. I've never been there. Do enough people go there? I don't know. Is he allowed to lure someone over a border? I'm sure he can. Whether that be with
Starting point is 00:34:00 a fishing line. You can set traps, Clemmer. Yeah, you can set traps. All right, that's good. That's good. Okay. All right. Well, I'll finalize the plan and we'll put it in place and you'll be off and running.
Starting point is 00:34:14 All right. Okay. I'm excited. I'm excited to knock off some hats off this. Okay. Let's go. All right. Thank you, Clemmer.
Starting point is 00:34:20 Let's figure out who's going with him. Yeah. So we got... He really doesn't like you. I love him. He goes into attack mode. he really doesn't like you. I love him. He goes into attack mode. I thought we did like each other. I thought we liked each other.
Starting point is 00:34:29 No, he went for your neck. Fat. I wasn't doing anything none of you were doing. I was doing the same thing you guys were doing. He's been feisty recently. On the bracket, he told me he would be happy if I ended up in rehab soon. Yeah, he did say that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:43 He's been in attack mode. I think deep down he knows he's not doing a good job here. He's dropping the balls. Yeah. And he's lashing out. Look how empty that fucking map is. I understand. It's glaring.
Starting point is 00:34:52 It's embarrassing for us. Yeah. It is. When people come here, it's like, what is that? We're the ones that have to sit here and explain. Yeah, we're like, oh, yeah, we got a guy getting purple hats. He's been doing it for three months. And this is all we got.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Six hats. Yep. Yeah, he doesn't like you. Breaking news. I think I know what this is. Whoa! AJ! AJ, what's up?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Where is he? He's in Costco. Are you in Costco right now? I told you I'm in Costco. Okay. I thought you meant tomorrow. I didn't know you mean in the middle of Costco. Hurry up and jump on the show.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Do you live in Costco? Yes. Do you live in Costco? Yes. Do you live in Costco? Well, Costco is very good to us. So, you know, we are here often. So I'm actually here right now mapping out our next video. And you said jump on the show. So here I am.
Starting point is 00:35:57 Love it. Love it. All right. So we got to figure out when you're going to come through. We want you to do the entire Barstool Car Wash. Literally every show we have. All right. So here's what I have car wash. Literally every show we have. Alright. So, here's what I have going on. So, I am working out.
Starting point is 00:36:09 You know, I put it out there before. I'm not going to say exactly who, but we are working something out with a major wrestling organization, and I think that that's almost final. And if that does happen, we'll be up in Chicago in early early september so i'm
Starting point is 00:36:26 thinking right around september 5th 6th something like that we come up to the studios that sound good yeah i think it's perfect yeah what is that brandon oh that's aew oh okay that's fine brandon's the wrestling guy yeah i didn't say i didn't say that i didn't say anything i thought they were going to be joining phaseZe Clan. So will the Rizzler be joining? No, I don't think so. The whole situation is, Big Justice and I, we live here in Florida. Rizzler, I mean, we met him through the Black Panther
Starting point is 00:36:55 video. We just kind of became family. Rizzler's like a nephew to me. Uncle Savas is such an awesome guy. Love the family. But they're up in New Jersey, and Rizzler is going to be going back to school at that time. Big Justice is going to be going into a different school model. So we'll be available to come up. I could talk and see if we could get to Rizzler.
Starting point is 00:37:13 But, you know, that's something I don't have control over. Rizzler's got to drop out. He's got to drop out. He's got to take a gap year. In second grade. I think we've got to find a time when the Rizzler can come. I don't know. We need the Rizzler. It's like don't know. We need the Rizzler.
Starting point is 00:37:26 It's like, you know, we need the three of you guys. We need Big Justice to save the Rizzler. Well, all right. Let me, you know, again, that's a decision I don't have total control over. That's fair. So I'll be together with Uncle Savas. I'll see if we can work that out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:37:40 And, you know, I do want to mention. So, you know, there's been a lot going on lately about, you know, the relationship between Big Justice and Rizzler. They're like a brother and little brother. I mean, these two guys absolutely love each other. They talk all day, every day. And, I mean, there is absolutely nothing but love between Big Justice and Rizzler. I promise you that. I would have assumed there is nothing but love.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Why are we addressing it? No, none of that. I mean, listen, you you know I'm addressing it because you guys know what it's like out there on the internet people are going to say what they want to say
Starting point is 00:38:08 and you know there's nothing any of us could do about it but I am addressing it because you know that's my family and you know I love both of these guys
Starting point is 00:38:15 and you know that's the way it really is I mean we are a very happy family now what about you and the Rizzler because I know he doomed your double chunk
Starting point is 00:38:23 chocolate cookie and he took the chicken bake over that. Is there any bad blood between you two? No, no, no, no. Not at all. The Rizzler's like family. He's like a nephew to me.
Starting point is 00:38:37 Anything the Rizzler needs, I'm there for him. All right. So can you get, because you're in Costco right now, could you go get a cookie and give us a live? Have you ever done a live review? Yeah, can I get back to you? Because I went and found the quiet spot all the way in the back of the store. So the food court's all the way up there and, you know, it would take me a minute to order it and all that. So you want me to go do that and then I'll come back and hit up the Zoom again?
Starting point is 00:39:03 Can you just walk with the phone? What's it like when you walk into Costco? Yeah, are you a celebrity in Costco? Are there gasps? Yeah, that would be, I would love to do that. That would be really challenging. And the other thing is it takes about 10, 15 minutes to get the cookie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. Ah, shit. Just mulch maybe? Yeah, maybe just review stuff. Can you do a boom of mulch, please? Yeah. What just review something. Can you doomer boom a mulch, please? Yeah. What's behind you right now? Well, I went to a really quiet section of the store,
Starting point is 00:39:32 so I got, like, hangers, motor oil. Drink a little motor oil. Drink a little motor oil. Take a sip of the motor oil. I got something. I got something from the cart. Oh! Hey!
Starting point is 00:39:43 Beef! All right. So this is the choice flank steak. And Big Justice ordered this. So tonight for dinner, we will be having meat. All meat. And the meat here at Costco, the meat here at Costco gets five big booms. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:04 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom booms. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:08 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:11 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:40:20 Boom. Boom. Boom. Take a bite of one of those. I got the organic cucumbers here. These get it. All right, take a bite. Yeah, take a bite of one of those. Yeah, bite the cucumber. Bite the cucumber. Come on.
Starting point is 00:40:33 Mother of big justice is going to help over this thing up. I love it. Let's take a bite of an organic cucumber. Yes. I hope this gets a boom. I fucking hope this gets a boom. All right. I wouldn't mind a doom. You wouldn't mind a doom? We don't see anything. You never know. a boom. I fucking hope this gets a boom. All right. I wouldn't mind a doom.
Starting point is 00:40:45 You wouldn't mind a doom? We don't see anything. I just want him to be honest. You never know. Be honest. Be honest. The guy in the background. All right.
Starting point is 00:40:52 Here we go. So I got the organic cucumber right here. Right in the middle. Good bite. The things I do for you guys. The organic cucumber gets a boom. Boom. Boom.
Starting point is 00:41:07 Wow. Wow. All right, well, AJ, I'll text with you, and we'll figure out a date. We'll see. We'll take, like, whenever the Rizzler can have a break, and you guys can all come together, we'd love to have all three of you. Yeah, I'll text that. We'll see if we can work out and uh yeah it'd be awesome so um yeah i know this was unexpected but this was definitely a lot of fun love it love
Starting point is 00:41:30 it thank you so much aj appreciate it hey one more one more thing bars to sports bring the oh he said all right thank you aj I'll talk to you, man. Bye, AJ. See you. Later. Wow. I'll tell you what, he's an internet pro. Yes, he is. That's what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:41:51 Eating that cucumber in the middle. Yep. Yes. I know. I was hoping. That was a fucking internet pro. That guy's been around. I would have kissed the tip and held my hand down.
Starting point is 00:42:04 All right. So we're going to do it. Yeah. We have to. Do you guys. I was so nervous. I can't believe he was right there. Do you guys agree that I have to keep.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Rizzler has to be here. Rizzler has to be here. Yeah. He has to be here. Yeah. What's cool. Especially. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:22 I mean. Is he wasting his time? He's wasting his time. What's he doing? What he's wasting his time what's that what he could be doing he should just go pro he could go pro tomorrow yeah it's the door is open i didn't realize they were weren't actually family and what's this beef that they're that's what i'm talking about like a lot i think there's going to be a civil war between Big Justice and Rizzler People are accusing Justice of
Starting point is 00:42:48 Jealousy Which is crazy Crazy to think He doomed Cucumber Cucumber He doomed? I thought he boomed
Starting point is 00:43:02 I think he doomed I think he doomed it I reacted like no i think he doomed it he doomed it he i reacted like it was doomed i made a fool of myself it was a doom it was a doom i didn't think he'd do that he didn't do the fist yeah he doomed that cucumber boom wow i thought he boomed it well deserved getting like an invite to a big wrestling thing yeah well he was a wrestler yeah right so it kind of fits but he's got the moves i just like how he refers to his what like 11 year old son is big justice that's just very i love that and then his wife is mother of yeah he's not gonna dead name his boy big justice yeah you missed the cucumber yeah i hate that you hate that you missed it yeah
Starting point is 00:43:44 we were you just going to call clemmer and be like, what's the problem? No, I was going to the bathroom. Did you text him? Did you want me to text him, what's your problem? Yeah. Why are you hollering? I don't know why I was hollering. He was hollering.
Starting point is 00:43:57 He was fired up. Well, he soft launched on Titus. Yeah, he did. I've always had Clemmer's back, so I... I have too. No, I mean, you guys have your history but it would like he comes on mostly sports and i teamed up with clemmer to shit on you and it's great though because clemmer like you can just press the button yeah just say work ethic and he'll just go off yeah he's got a mental yeah yeah that's true we're not diminishing
Starting point is 00:44:20 his workload we're trying to rewire his priorities right and just be like hats hats maybe we should get him to like a hypnotist i don't think he's recognizing the opportunity that lays before him there's a full land of purple hats out he's gonna he's going to if he can complete this he's going to be cemented in an all-time uh yak thing that we forget about within a week. Yeah, three days tops. Yeah, yeah. Like, he will live on for at least a day or two. Yeah, that's like a common house fly. We'll definitely look back on it the next day.
Starting point is 00:44:56 He's going to travel to every state to embarrass himself. And then we're just going to be like, oh yeah, we did do that, didn't we? It'll be like this time next year we'll be like, why the fuck did we do that? We'll take the map down almost immediately. Instantly. He'll get a snippet on the best of.
Starting point is 00:45:12 End of the year, for sure. Anything big that happens on the show is over in 24 hours. Oh, yeah. And he is shortening our face, not wanting to... Think of the gain. Change his life around us. On our every whim. Yeah think about think of the game change his life around on our every whim yeah what gives him the right god damn it all right so should we got it we got to figure out who's going yeah right it's gonna suck uh by the by the way you know what doesn't suck draft kings
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Starting point is 00:46:31 Eligibility restrictions apply. One per customer. Enter the Best Ball $15 million contest by 9524 to get one bonus entry. $20 entry fee required. Reward expires at contest lock on 9524. See terms at draftkings.com slash DFS. Let's get some bets going. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Let's get some bets going. Kyle, I thought you and AJ were just going to laugh back and forth. I was hoping it would go up. I was trying to get them going. I was backing you up. Yeah, you laughed. You started laughing. I was trying to get it there.
Starting point is 00:47:01 I wanted him to laugh at you laughing and you laugh at him laughing and just have that go on for 30 minutes. I love that he's at Costco. I know. Well, walking through Costco right now would be a problem. Yeah, I couldn't do that. Couldn't do that. I liked him.
Starting point is 00:47:22 He was game for anything. Well, except that. Yeah, well. He would get moffs. He was game for anything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he would get more. Understandable. He had the cucumber. Imagine seeing him in Costco.
Starting point is 00:47:31 Oh, my God. He's starstruck. He's in Florida, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's just doing the Costco thing every day. I'm so excited to forget about purple hats. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:43 Instant. Instant. As soon as we're gonna like send mincy to cobbler school we're gonna be all focused on that yeah we gotta we gotta somehow time it that he gets his final purple hat on a friday so that way by monday we're just don't even bring it up have it taken down okay do you have the big wheel so we'll get to three yeah and then uh some sort of competition do i get a couple vetoes of people that i just know like can't do it sure yeah we each get a veto okay but you can't veto yourself right no okay we'll just use vetoes as we see fit as we see fit this is scary
Starting point is 00:48:25 anybody we'd they'd say no there's a lot of people that I know can go there's just a couple names out there it's like no we can't have them go
Starting point is 00:48:32 mhm oh oh yep that's a good one I'm gonna have to veto that okay your one veto's gone I understand you wouldn't be able to do your program yeah he's a JMU
Starting point is 00:48:54 purple hat guy too that would be torture for him I bet he'd be good at it though yeah he would but it would also be torture for him yeah and he also has I know they have pup punk on that Friday. All right, one veto down. Oh.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Is that Goochman? I'm on stand. That's Goochman? Oh, he stays on.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Yeah, he can go. He can go. For sure. Oh, he stays on. Yeah, he can go. He can go. He can for sure go. Oh, he's going to hate it. He should be so upset. So upset. Is he here in the office today? I think so.
Starting point is 00:49:36 He should be. Okay. We should get three Chicago people so that way we can have them compete for something. This is all Chicago? Oh, cool. Wow, holy shit. This cool a lot of people here holy shit this is it's a lot of people okay harry harry uh harry does chef donnie's stuff he would be could go. He'd be very good. Maybe Chef Donnie will go with him.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And maybe Monday they present why they can't do it. Oh, yes. Yes. There it is. And there we go.
Starting point is 00:50:23 He's going. All right. Let's decide from these three. Everybody vote. Malasek. He's not here. He's on vacation. What? He hasn't been here all week.
Starting point is 00:50:34 That's right. He's in Florida. Didn't notice. We had a gauntlet with Conor Griffin in goal or somebody else in goal, right? Smells better in this office. Yeah. All right, so Malasek's going to go. Yeah. He's going to be so mad. He's already down in Florida right now, right? Yeah. Smells better in this office. Yeah. Alright, so Malasek's gonna go. Yeah. He's gonna be so mad. He's already
Starting point is 00:50:48 down in Florida right now, right? Yeah, I think so. Big Cat, you wanna give him a call? If you love Florida so much, why don't you go to the panhandle and wait for Chris Clemmer? Okay. Yeah. No brainer. I'm gonna pretend that I didn't know he's on that's who we would
Starting point is 00:51:08 have picked anyway right yeah what's up hey come on the act real quick i'm in florida what what do you mean i'm in my parents house why what projects are you working on i'm sorry i took the week to go hang out with them for football season who'd you clear that with kind of already is football uh my manager who's your manager mccarthy oh oh mccarthy's saying yes to vacation uh yes i think who's gaz's manager that that chain of command is too high for me i don't really know that okay good answer uh i knew you're on vacation it's no problem. Last week of August, do you have anything? No. All right, great.
Starting point is 00:51:48 You're going to go on a road trip with Clemmer trying to find purple hats. Cool. Sounds good. I fucking love you, Malasek. That's why I love you. You're in for anything. What? Yep.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Anything you need. Okay, that's great. So you're going to start in the panhandle. Do you know where that is? Yeah. Where? It's like Western Florida. Yep.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it. And then you're just going to snake up all the way back to Chicago. So it'd be like three, four days. Awesome. Fucking love it. This is why you're always on top of my list, Malasek.
Starting point is 00:52:23 But seriously, get back to the office right now. All right. I'll be there in nine, ten hours. All right. See you. Have fun on vacation. All right. Bye.
Starting point is 00:52:32 See you. Look at that. Didn't even ask. It's Malasek. But I kind of wanted him to be upset. Yeah, I know. I think he is. I can tell by the tone.
Starting point is 00:52:42 You think so? He just punched his wall. He is not happy right now. You think so? I think he is. I can tell by the tone. He just punched his wall. He is not happy right now. You think so? I think he was fine. He's down for anything. You think? Yeah. What is the route they're going to take? I think you... Where are we
Starting point is 00:52:56 putting them in the panhandle? We're going all the way to Pensacola. Tallahassee and over. Right below Georgia and over. Up the Mississippi. You can do that. You can send him over to Mobile and Mississippi at the coast and knock those two states out quick. Are those the kind of folk that would sell their hats? I got a new idea.
Starting point is 00:53:14 I'd rather send him to deep Alabama and deep Mississippi. That would be funny. I got a new idea. Why don't we have Steven get on the geoguessor and the first state he gets right, that's where they'll start. I like that. Yep, yep, yep. New plan.
Starting point is 00:53:29 Yeah, new plan. Fire up the geoguessor. Can't be New York State. That would be stupid. It can't be New England because he's going there this weekend. Or a state that already has it. Yeah, but any other state that you hit first.
Starting point is 00:53:45 I'm seeing some mesas. You got to get it right. That's a pleasant picture. It is. Yeah. Oh, wait. Huh. What's this?
Starting point is 00:53:57 What? Oh, my God. The bottom right. That's the map of the United States. So it doesn't give it any away? No. That's not in Arkansas. That's anywhere in the United States. Oh, okay. Oh, bang. Let's check out some license plates.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Oh, what a beautiful fucking place. That guy fly fishing down there? This looks like Arizona. Oh, this car has a license plate on the front. Where? Here we go. That looks like a license plate on the front. Where? Here we go. That looks like a taxi that's pulled over. Why a taxi?
Starting point is 00:54:29 What? That's a taxi that's pulled over? He's not going to get an answer in time. How do I take shorter steps? How is this a taxi? Three, two, one. Arizona, Arizona, Arizona. No, it doesn't count.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Oh! That doesn't count. It doesn't count. You've got to get it right. I got it right. No, you didn't. Make it 30 seconds. Make it't count. You got to get it right. I got it right. No, you didn't. Make it 30 seconds. Make it 30 seconds.
Starting point is 00:54:49 0 for 1. How do you take shorter steps? They're not steps. The man doesn't know what Google Maps is. How is that a taxi? Stop going straight to cars. They blur out the license plates, Stephen. Oh, they do?
Starting point is 00:55:11 Yes. You already have 15 seconds left. This kind of looks like Illinois. Just because there's road construction? You got to get your guess. And we have road construction. Please get the guess. How do I write it?
Starting point is 00:55:23 How do I write it? Just click the fucking map. Oh, my God. This is so bad. Not U.S. Nebraska would have been great. He's going to end up being in Florida. It's going to be Florida.
Starting point is 00:55:38 Oh, Desert Rose. Oh, no. See, I want to take like a... I just want to walk a couple steps. Keep saying walk. Stop saying steps. Oh, okay. Apartment, community, N.
Starting point is 00:55:57 What? N is five seconds. Damn. New Mexico. Oh, no. You can't. New Mexico. Oh, no. You can't. All right. You have to leave yourself time to make the guess.
Starting point is 00:56:12 Yes. Okay. All right. We've yet to get a guess in, Nick. They don't have sidewalks here. He guessed Arizona in the first one, but he didn't click it. He didn't leave himself time. 35 miles an hour.
Starting point is 00:56:23 35 miles an hour. That's the most standard thing. Great clue. They don't have sidewalks here, and there's a sidewalk. Not that prevalent. That's a sidewalk. Not that prevalent.
Starting point is 00:56:34 It's right there. This is like, sorry, this feels like a West Virginia type. Why? Not enough. Two. Pretty flat.
Starting point is 00:56:41 Okay. Okay. What's that mean? Okay. What the that mean? Okay. What the fuck? Oh, boy. Yeah, you're right. Yep.
Starting point is 00:56:50 That's some nothing right there. This could be like Texas or Arizona or Oklahoma. Something with a lot of roadway. Roadway? Maybe this will work. Oh, shit I need to do some work. Ooh, shit. I love the 30 seconds. He's just never gonna...
Starting point is 00:57:10 Let's do Texas. Montana. So close. Alright. Ooh. Oh. Look at the side of that truck. Agriculture? There's a...
Starting point is 00:57:26 No, don't. Oh. North Carolina. Oh, man. NC? Oh, NC egg. God. There it is.
Starting point is 00:57:40 There it is. Please be somewhere else. Ah! Bummer! Wait, what are the odds of that? There it is. It leads me somewhere else. Bummer! Wait, what are the odds of that? Indiana. Those are two separate trucks. Yeah, it was two different North Carolina trucks.
Starting point is 00:57:56 This is just suburbia. Oh, that's beautiful. This also looks like Illinois. That looks like a house I looked at. It's just an American neighborhood, man. That's Chase Street. Everything he knows is just only things he's seen. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:12 Oh, my God. This has houses and trees, just like my neighborhood. Prominents beside houses. Five seconds. Yeah, this is... He's going to be ready. He's just guessing. I'm pretty close.
Starting point is 00:58:26 And southern southern too. Oh, jeez. 254th street. What does that mean? That's bizarre. It's wild they have that many streets in this state. This kind of looks like parts of Indiana, but I mean, this is crazy. Why is it crazy?
Starting point is 00:58:52 Is this Indiana? No. The one that says Indiana. It's Indiana. Indiana. No. Yeah. Damn.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Damn. He does not know anything about our country. Okay. Here we go. All right. All right. Arrowgrass Drive, Northwood Palms, Ancient Oaks. This doesn't help at all.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Oh, my God. There's stoplights. Let's go. We got to go. There's some stoplights. There's palm trees. There's go. We got to go. Oh, jeez. There's some stoplights. There's palm trees. It has cars. There's a crosswalk.
Starting point is 00:59:28 I want to say Georgia. Oh, why? Oh. Dude. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:35 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:35 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:36 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:36 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:36 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees.
Starting point is 00:59:36 There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. There were palm trees. Arizona, which I got first, but I didn't know I had to select it. Oh, this is like poor Indiana. Imagine watching this at your house on this.
Starting point is 00:59:51 Oh, oh, oh. There you go. 7-Up Store. Yeah, put it together. This place ain't doing well. 7-Up Store. Looks actually pretty nice. Yeah, that place looks awesome. Nope.
Starting point is 01:00:06 That's right. It does suck. Mississippi. No. Kansas. This is really hard. But there's a couple that are... Florida was very easy. It's with palm trees, I guess. Yeah, but it also was like North Palm Drive.
Starting point is 01:00:21 But I guess Georgia. This is probably Alaska? Why? Mountainous. You can't see anything. There's nothing around here. You could imagine this was snow on it, right? No, this is not Alaska. Alaska is notoriously flat.
Starting point is 01:00:40 He's up in Canada right now. There it is. That's close Oh It's the same as that other neighborhood Poor Indiana again Kind of looks like Illinois The The houses are too poor Mark
Starting point is 01:01:00 This feels like Mississippi Poor Indiana Every state has its own economy. It doesn't vary at all. Pound to town. There's just poor states and rich states. Cars are kind of gross. Let's go.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Louisiana. Ah, it's right there. The fact that Warren Buffett lives in Nebraska would blow Steve's brain. This is like upstate New York-y. That's just a highway. Look at the trees. Every place has trees.
Starting point is 01:01:34 Did you not look at the trees? Look at the trees. I'm talking in those words. West Virginia. West Virginia. Oh, man. This also looks like Indiana. Indiana.
Starting point is 01:01:48 He only knows three states. Yeah, that's the... You just tapped on the heart of the problem. Very western. If it has a sidewalk, it's Illinois. If it doesn't, it's Indiana. Let's check this barn out. That'll help.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Oh, can I not go close to the barn? No, you can't go on those people's property. Oh. This is Western PA. Wisconsin. That's almost the exact same place. You gotta learn Wisconsin. Had it twice now.
Starting point is 01:02:18 I'm going there soon. Oh, this looks like Indiana. Does the weather just change? Oh, man. This is like Indiana. Does the weather just change? This is definitely Indiana. These barns are in bad shape. Yeah, imagine watching this having Stephen. Do you guys know a lot of these? No.
Starting point is 01:02:38 I don't know about you. I could watch this forever. It's just his thought process is just so crazy. Has he picked out of this general Oh, you're one off. Closer. Steve, do you know how this photo coverage exists? Uh, nope.
Starting point is 01:02:57 This could be like this is northeast based on the foliage, I think. It's northeast foliage. So, I don't know. This looks kind of like upstate New York, New Hampshire-y. He really does only know, like, four things. It's either Indiana, Illinois, New York.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Oh! Yeah. You were really good. Good call, Jay. Close. That northeast foliage. Oh, this is Alaska. I love his sound.
Starting point is 01:03:25 He makes the same sound at the beginning of every one. If it wasn't like the street you live on now, you're making that. 107. It's a mile marker. Mile marker. Oh, that's what that was. Damn. Look at the billboard.
Starting point is 01:03:40 Yep, I'm trying. Hurry, you got 10 seconds. You passed it. Jeez. I don't passed it. Jeez. I don't fucking know. Arkansas. Oh! Your big hit.
Starting point is 01:03:53 How did you not get that, Indiana? I wasn't poor enough. Staying on the roads. Yeah, look left and right. He just missed an Indiana. Oh! Yeah, he didn't guess it. Staying on the roads, yeah, look left and right. He just missed an Indiana. Oh. Yeah, he didn't guess it. Walmart.
Starting point is 01:04:11 Walmart, that has to be Arkansas. Walmart, yeah. And a Dunk. Oh, Dunkin', so we're probably northeast. Yeah. Yeah. That's the only place Dunkin's are. Ah.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Vermont again. He's pretty good. That was all right place Duncan's are. Ah. Vermont again. Oh. He's pretty good. That was all right. This is great. Oh, this is somewhere. There's mountains. It's pretty. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:04:38 Pretty, huh? Yeah. Pretty enough to be familiar, Mickey? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Close. You read me like a book, Steve. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:04:57 Is there any Indiana written all over? No, that's Indiana. That's my hometown. Neon colors are not good. Is it church? Why? What kind of church? What does neon colors do to you? It clearly hasn't been updated.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Updated. Oh, that's a bad post office. You should probably look at... Not there. Go back to Mississippi. Right. North Dakota. It didn't occur to look at the name of the post office? Let's go back to Mississippi. Right. Oh. North Dakota.
Starting point is 01:05:26 It didn't occur to look at the name of the post office? I couldn't see it in time. Ooh, we got some more flat, modern house, like kind of the... I don't know the appropriate term for it. Those are modern as hell. Yeah, we got a playground. This is southwest for sure. Here we go. Ten seconds. Yeah, we got a playground. This is southwest for sure. Here we go.
Starting point is 01:05:46 Ten seconds. Oh, no. Oh, there's a police car. Oh, no. It's probably New Mexico, Arizona. There's a... New Mexico. All right, they're going to start New Mexico.
Starting point is 01:06:05 That's not bad. They can go New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma they're going to start in New Mexico. That's not bad. They can go New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma. That hits a pin. A lot of corners right there. Yeah, Nebraska, Missouri, Iowa. That'll be good. When I did the road trip with Frank and Jinx and Mikey Betts, we did Texas to Chicago in one day.
Starting point is 01:06:19 Yeah. Oh, my God. How was that? That's not that bad. It was long. It was, I don't know was 13, 14 hours, but it's possible. Alright.
Starting point is 01:06:30 So he's starting in New Mexico. Beautiful. I think every time we send him out, we'll just do that. Because that is great. That's the best. You, Steven, you're...
Starting point is 01:06:45 Yeah. Do you guys all play that a lot? No. Okay. All right, so wait. Kyle asked a very important question. How were those pictures procured? Like the actual map?
Starting point is 01:07:00 Yeah. There's a Google Maps car, I think, that goes around with a camera on it, but I don't know if it goes 360. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. That's all right. You got it.
Starting point is 01:07:15 You nailed it. It worked, Jay. I've seen it before. On your street? I think it was in New York. I saw it in Jersey before. Very cool. You guys seen those Ubers that have no drivers?
Starting point is 01:07:27 I think Jeff D'Lo has been in one. Of course he has. I remember one of D'Lo in the Final Four. Really? We did it at the Final Four. Yeah, he probably used the hashtag they recommended. It was crazy. That's how I watched the Olympics was his timeline, though.
Starting point is 01:07:44 It helped me. Yeah. It helped me. Yeah, he loves the hashtag. He's like the last person to use hashtags, I feel like. Unironically. Yeah. Have you not? You don't see hashtags very often.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Not very often. I don't think you ever. I've never seen you use it. I'm sure I have before. I saw you playing the hits the other night. What hits did I play? Sandlot. I like to remind people. That it's a clip show?
Starting point is 01:08:14 When I saw that, I was like, when is this tweet from? I like to remind people about once a year. I like to do the same tweets about once a year. Who cares? Who cares about anything, Big Cat? I know, but Sandlot's a good movie. Who cares about cat i know but like sandlot's a good movie who cares about anything right but sandlot's a good movie it's fine it is solid movie you just don't like that it's clips i don't like that little big league gets disrespected and sandlot
Starting point is 01:08:35 gets all the love i think little big league is so instead of building up a little big league you got to tear sandlot down no you run a negative campaign crazy what was the sentence guys little big league is better than the Sandlot. It never said the Sandlot's bad. It's simple. But why do you have to, why can't you just say Little Big League's good? Yeah, why do you have to
Starting point is 01:08:50 compare the two? Because the Sandlot is the movie that is grabbed onto by so many people. I want to say to all those people, hey, I know you love this one. This one's actually better. The Sandlot and...
Starting point is 01:08:59 You're trying to help. Yeah. Trying to help. They're also not like, I mean, Little Big League is Major League and Little Big League. No. And Rookie of the help. Yeah. Trying to help. They're also not like, I mean, Little Big League is Major League and Little Big League. No. And Rookie of the Year.
Starting point is 01:09:08 No. Rookie of the Year, Angels in the Outfield, Little Big League, and the Sandlot all came out within two years of each other, and they're all kids' movies about baseball. Yeah, but the two of them, two of the three are heavy MLB. Yeah. Okay. And the Sandlot's the best of them all. Well, three of the four are MLB. Yeah. Okay. And the Sandlot's the best of them all. Well, three of the four are MLB.
Starting point is 01:09:27 Yeah. The Sandlot is... Sandlot's kind of on its own. Just kids being kids. Okay. I think Little Big League's better. I would say Sandlot's the best kids baseball movie. Well, it's not,
Starting point is 01:09:40 because Little Big League exists. Those are a lot of adults in those. It's hard for me to judge a kid's movie now. Yeah. I think people are still judging based on what they thought as a kid when they liked the Sandlot and they liked the Beasties. That's what people do. They do that and they fall in love with it.
Starting point is 01:09:55 And you want to burst that bubble. If you watched it now, you wouldn't. We watched Sandlot during the COVIDs. And it didn't hold up to us. During the COVIDs? Yeah. During the COVID shows. And it didn't hold up to us. During the COVIDs? Yeah. During the COVID shows. I like the dog.
Starting point is 01:10:09 I think it's more of like a feeling. Like the Sandlot. How it makes you feel. Nostalgic, sure. Yeah. You got a fireplace? I have three. Throw those shoes in there.
Starting point is 01:10:20 Whoa. Oh, no. He's making a Sandlot reference, boys. Oh. Shit. And I'm not wearing a hat, so he couldn't see. Yep. Yep, no. He's making a Sandlot reference, boys. Oh. Shit. And I'm not wearing a hat, so he couldn't see. Yep. Yep.
Starting point is 01:10:31 I wish you were wearing a hat today. Those are nice shoes. Have you had all three fireplaces on? Is there one you haven't used yet? No. Tommy's a fireplace merchant in my house. Oh. Of course he is. Even in...
Starting point is 01:10:39 He's a chimney sweep. Yeah. Even in... Right now, I'll just go home, and he'll be laid up in front of a fireplace like a cat. I love it. Exactly like a cat. He'll literally be laid up as close as he can get without burning himself. I like that fireplace merchant.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Does he got pyro tendencies? No, he just likes being warm. Well, right now in the summer, he'll also... I think he is a cat. He'll go out on the deck and when the sun's coming up, he'll just lay in the sun. Yeah, he might be a cat. Your son might be a cat.
Starting point is 01:11:13 He's very agile. Does he poop in a... In a litter box, yeah. Tommy's a cat. Tomcat. I'll be god damn. What do the Game Time ad read? I'd rather do nothing else.
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Starting point is 01:12:17 Last-minute tickets, lowest price guaranteed. Cubs at home tomorrow, you said? Yeah. 120 first bid? Possibly, yeah. Interesting. Going on Saturday. I hope your kid doesn't get tired. I didn't realize that until you said it, so that's good to know.
Starting point is 01:12:32 That's interesting, isn't it? Yeah. That's interesting. I used game time to go to the Brewers game last week. It was really nice, really fun time. Took the whole family. All six of us. You get a hot dog?
Starting point is 01:12:42 I got many hot dogs, yeah. How many? Probably six. How much does it cost your family to go to the movies? The movies? A couple hundred dollars. That game probably cost me, with tickets that Game Time provided for me, that trip probably cost me $400 just from food.
Starting point is 01:13:00 Did you know that Security Mike's TikTok is just him eating food? What is his TikTok? I knew he had a TikTok. He's just eating food. I thought he was dancing. I kind of love it. Is he reviewing or just eating? Late night snacks.
Starting point is 01:13:12 Oh, hell yeah. But he makes some weird, he eats Oreos with grape juice. Ew. Yeah. No, that actually sounds good. He doesn't dunk it, does he? No. No, that doesn't sound good.
Starting point is 01:13:22 That sounds great. By the way, I got an update from AJ. He said, let everyone know that when we were checking out at Costco, the clerk asked if we knew there was a bite taken out of the cucumber. Boom. Pretty good. Pretty good. Yeah, look at Security Mike's TikTok.
Starting point is 01:13:37 He just refused. He doesn't even eat it on camera. He just says what he's about to. Wait, he's Dice Man? Dice Man. Yeah. All right, it's 11.15. Sometimes snack time just doesn't cut it at home.
Starting point is 01:13:51 Late night diner. If you're in the five boroughs of Jersey, you know what I'm talking about. Burger Deluxe fries. My friend here has got the onion rings. Always the side of gravy. Dip the fries in. Diner fries are the best. It's a must go to.
Starting point is 01:14:03 But it's heavy. This is a heavy snack time. I'm not going to lie. This is going to be sitting in my stomach like a fucking lead all night. But the grind continues. That's it. I watched them all last night. I was kind of like, I need more. Yeah, I'm in. Yeah, watch that one.
Starting point is 01:14:18 Snack time, it's 10.55 p.m. tonight. Oreos. Don't ask me if they're double stuff. You know they're double stuff. There's only one F in double stuff. You know they're double stuff. I was going to say this. There's only one F in double stuff. Never noticed that. Anyway, these are phenomenal.
Starting point is 01:14:31 True to form, grape juice. Fuck yeah. I'm an animal. There's just something about it. It doesn't say anything, really. It doesn't do anything, but I need it. I need more of it. I want more of it.
Starting point is 01:14:49 Yeah, the one with the blue hat. He just talked about what he would just eat. All right, top of the fifth. The Yankees are down 4-1. I'm already a cheesesteak in. Sausages and peppers, two bags of chips. I just did an ice cream in a Philly's cup. That's going to be the one it's gonna
Starting point is 01:15:05 do me in seven inning stretch gonna be a battle in the bathroom shirt might be off for that one wish me luck yeah his tiktok should just be like moments before big shit yeah that's all it's all it is because he's not even reviewing the food or eating it on camera he's just like i'm about to eat this. He's working his way towards a Tums sponsorship. Yeah, it's great. I don't know. I need more.
Starting point is 01:15:32 I was upset last night. It was refreshing. I was like, that's it? We only have nine of them? I need one every hour. I could have watched them forever. He'll be at camp. Maybe we'll get him to do one live.
Starting point is 01:15:44 It's more studio audio. Late night snack. You guys smell that right now? Bacon? Bacon. Oh, is that bacon? He was making bacon yesterday, too. Yes.
Starting point is 01:15:54 It smells good. God damn it. It's distracting. Bacon. Are those voice lines on the back of your shoe, Brandon? Yeah, I think there's some sort of sound indicator line. What are they? There's Air Max.
Starting point is 01:16:08 If you're doing audio editing, it looks like that. Correct? I wonder what it's saying. If you want me wet, get me wet. You guys got a big show tonight. We do. Nick and KB, you're not coming back? I'm not, no. No, I'm not either.
Starting point is 01:16:26 You guys are just never coming back? Yeah, we're done. No, don't say that. Okay. I'll be here until about 1.20 tomorrow, I gotta think. Clemmer was right about you. You can ask me if I'm coming back. Are you coming back?
Starting point is 01:16:37 No. Okay. I'll be back. Where are you guys going? I'm staying in Indy one extra day. Oh. Family there. I'm going to Cleveland with Francis and Sass
Starting point is 01:16:46 Nice West Virginia Oh I'll be here Once again I'll be here tomorrow Yeah no we already did that boring story about how you're gonna drive like an hour back Get in a hotel
Starting point is 01:16:59 Yeah Yeah I think it's the smartest play Take home a fan from the show You should do fuck a fan from the show. You should do fuck a fan tonight. That's what Rudy's doing. Up in the skybox. Someone bought the VIP.
Starting point is 01:17:11 Yeah, Rudy's whaling away. We promised he'd fuck or be fucked. He's going to be in his game suit. Yeah. Ready to go. What would a brand name be? I guess you could choose Rudy or Ebo. Or both.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Both. We'll have them both up there. Are all the boys going? One for Speedway. That's all you can fucking describe us. That guy's going? Connor Griffin is the main character. He's the main character.
Starting point is 01:17:38 Who's he driving? He's driving himself. What are you guys doing? Mostly sports and driving. I don't understand it. There's five people, mostly sports, and three cars going. Yeah. Got it. guys doing? Mostly sports and driving. I don't understand it. I don't understand why we're not. There's five people mostly sports and three cars going. Yeah. Got it.
Starting point is 01:17:48 And we're all coming back tonight. Like, we're all. That's why. Like, nobody's staying down there. We're all. I'm driving. I will sleep in my bed in Chicago tonight. And yet, for some reason.
Starting point is 01:17:57 I don't know why y'all are driving separate cars. You can carpool from the office and just drop everyone off at the office. You don't know why what, Brandon? I don't know why y'all are driving separate cars. I know why I'm driving separately. Why? Because I'm not coming back. Oh, where are you going? I'm staying at the office. You don't know why what, Brandon? I don't know why y'all are driving separate cars. I know why I'm driving separately. Why? Because I'm not coming back. Oh, where are you going?
Starting point is 01:18:08 I'm staying at a hotel. I can't go all the way home. Yeah. You can go all the way home. No, I can't. I get home at like 2 o'clock or 3 o'clock, and then I have to wake up at 6. Do you have a birthday party this weekend?
Starting point is 01:18:19 You get home at 1 at the latest. Come on home. Are you guys going to the zoo this weekend? No, that's Stephen Che and Kate. Going. Doing it. That's the only, yeah. Oh. Are you guys going to the zoo this weekend? No, that's Stephen Che and Kate. Going. Doing it. That's the only, yeah. Oh, are you mingling children? Yeah. We've done it before.
Starting point is 01:18:34 And it's a delight. It'll be a fun time. Where's Brookfield Zoo? Brookfield. Is it? I don't know. Is that a town? I don't know if it's a town. 40 minutes out in the burbs. Heard it's a doozy. It's nice. Yeah, I haven't been yet. It's a't know if it's a town. 40 minutes out in the burbs. Hurts a doozy. It's nice. Yeah, I haven't been yet.
Starting point is 01:18:47 It's a good zoo. It's very big. TJ, huge fan of the Brookfield Zoo. Yeah, they have a California condor. It was really awesome. Whoa, those are ugly. TJ, I was sad that I missed the Hitchings. Did your parents have a great trip?
Starting point is 01:19:00 Yeah, they loved it. And your dad's down a shitload of weight. Yeah, he looks good. You inspired him? I think so. Yeah. That's awesome. shitload of weight. Yep. Yeah, he looks good. You inspired him? I think so. Yeah. That's awesome. They're the best.
Starting point is 01:19:09 How much has he lost? I think like 40-ish pounds. Look at him. I don't want to discredit him, but he's killing it. He is. Love those guys. Brandon, the original Steak and Shake is in Indianapolis, right? Is it? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Is that the one downtown? I think it's the one downtown. It's on Icon. It's also a P.F. Chang's. Do a review. Do a review. Of the original Steak and Shake? Yeah. Is that the one downtown? I think it's the one downtown. It's also a P.F. Chang's. Do a review. Of the original Steak and Shake? Yeah. I need to stop, but I stop at the Steak and Shake on the way home about once a week.
Starting point is 01:19:33 What? Yeah, because I always eat here. I eat lunch, and then my wife cooks when I get there. I get there about 5 or 6 o'clock, but I always need a pre-dinner. So sometimes I got to stop at Steak and Shake and get a pre-dinner. Do you get cranky when you're hungry? Shut up. What do you eat for breakfast? Right now I'm not eating breakfast.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Is that why you're eating three lunches? No, I'm not. Right now I'm in good habits. I have good habits going on right now. Right now I wake up. I don't eat breakfast. I drive here. I drink water on the way to keep my stomach occupied. When I get here, I drink water on the way to keep my stomach occupied. When I get here, I have a protein smoothie and a yogurt.
Starting point is 01:20:10 You drink the big body armor in one glug. One glug. I've never seen anything like it. You walk in the office, one glug it. I think I was chronically dehydrated. So I'm starting every day with a liter of water that's actually very smart and I knock it right down
Starting point is 01:20:27 one glug wow where do you where do you keep keeping those yogurts I keep them in my bag I don't put them in the fridge because y'all would take them
Starting point is 01:20:35 no we wouldn't yes you would he's plotting it now would you take my yogurt if you had a box of yogurts yeah I'd maybe whack one of them
Starting point is 01:20:44 what flavor well I like the blueberry and the peach the most If you had a box of yogurts I'd maybe whack one of them What flavor? Well I like the blueberry and the peach the most Very cool I'm happy for you Yeah that's good that you got your habits in line My habits are getting lined up pretty good I'm meeting up with an out of work friend Saturday To get wings haven't seen him in 10 years
Starting point is 01:20:59 Anybody jealous that I'm hanging out with? That sounds like the worst case scenario A person we don't know? Someone you haven't seen in 10 years? Yeah, because then you've got to do the whole, like, why don't we talk? Yeah, he lives in Chicago. What? And you're meeting up with him in Indianapolis?
Starting point is 01:21:14 No, no, no. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. Yeah. Yeah, no. That doesn't. You guys are jealous. I'm going mountain biking Saturday.
Starting point is 01:21:22 What? I don't even know why I said that. You have a birthday party this weekend, don't you? I don't know. Oh, yeah. One of my kids' birthday is today. Yeah. I'm tired of keeping this up for you.
Starting point is 01:21:32 I'm going to Bluey's house this weekend. No. Where's Bluey live? I think it's like a pop-up. Whoa. Whoa. I can answer that all the time. I love Bluey.
Starting point is 01:21:41 Yeah. You love Bluey? Yeah. You don't? You ever watch it? My kids love Bluey. Yeah. You love Bluey? Yeah, you don't? You ever watch it? Kids love Bluey. You ever watch it? It's hilarious. What are we talking about?
Starting point is 01:21:51 It's a cartoon Bluey or a kid's show. It is my favorite. It's a kid's show. Oh, he invited you? Yeah, Bluey. It's actually a she. Yeah. Bluey's kind of fucked up.
Starting point is 01:22:01 Oh, Blue from Blue's Clues was a she, too. Really? Yeah. Yeah, Bluey is two girls. Bluey and Bingo. Bluey, animal or person? Dog. Dogs.
Starting point is 01:22:15 Animated. Okay. Yeah. Where are you going? To Bluey's house. Okay. What's the premise of Bluey uh is this beyond paw patrol like you were a paw patrol yeah no it's there it's just like the it's the australian uh sheep dogs they live in australia
Starting point is 01:22:36 yeah it's a family they get into hijinks and spoilers spoilers spoilers what makes it hilarious, Steve? It is kind of like a kid's version of Family Guy with lessons, but it's funny for adults too. Wait, Family Guy has lessons? No, I'm saying it doesn't. So that's not even anything. So it's a cartoon.
Starting point is 01:23:00 Animation style is similar to Family Guy. It's an animated show. It has a lesson, but it's also funny to adults. I gotta go see some. The mom, you'll like this, Nick. The mom works at the airport, and the dad works as an archaeologist. I do like that. The mom's a TSA dog, and he bones.
Starting point is 01:23:18 That's really clever. It's pretty good, right? Yeah. It's pretty good. It's funny. It's a cute show. I have not watched it on my own. It sounds like Steven has. I watch it with my kids, but yeah, right? Yeah. It's pretty good. It's funny. It's a cute show. I have not watched it on my own. It sounds like Steven has.
Starting point is 01:23:28 I watch it with my kids, but yeah, it's great. There's like innuendos in it. Well, there's like an episode where the parents are like clearly hung over from a party. And so they pretend to be like, they try and find ways to do as little as humanly possible while keeping the kids. Like, look, we're icebergs. And they're like laying on the floor. Yeah. While the kids then go into imagination land and pretend they're, like, whatever.
Starting point is 01:23:49 That's cute. The best thing it has going for it is every episode is seven minutes, so you can be like, we're going to watch four Blueys. Seven minutes? Seven minutes. Wait, is this a YouTube show? No, it's on Disney. Seven minutes?
Starting point is 01:24:00 Seven minutes. We're down to seven with commercials? Yeah, but it's great. No, no commercials, but then you can tell your, like, I tell my kids, like, all right, I'm going to let you watch three Blueys. They have no idea. Oh, I think that's a lot. Nothing.
Starting point is 01:24:11 Like, three Blueys is one Spider-Man. And they don't damn figure it out. It's fucking great. Is that the conversion rate for Blueys now? Golly. Three Blueys equals one Spider-Man. Spidey and friends. I took my son to the paw patrol pop-up
Starting point is 01:24:26 in new jersey and it's like it was like 80 for whatever and they there's a magic door and it opens up and then he spent like 40 minutes picking up fake trash and putting it in oh yeah trash bin always there was all this other shit to do and that's all he wanted to do the whole entire time yeah we'll find something like that yeah or it's just like i paid for this and you you ended up liking you ended up drawing that you could have done at home. Yeah. You guys ever watch this shit and think that you could just make it? Read books, kids books?
Starting point is 01:24:53 Oh, yeah. The Hungry Caterpillar, it's not that good. Well, he was very hungry. I wanted to make- That was an artistic master. We could have written that, right? I wanted to make a gambling book for kids, but I was told that would be bad. That would be bad.
Starting point is 01:25:05 I don't think you could write Stinky Cheese, man. I'll fucking do it right now. I've actually written several Barstool children's books. Have you? Yes. What? Where are they? I decided they're dumb.
Starting point is 01:25:16 Well, Kate, they're children's books. Yeah. You wrote entire books? Yeah. Put them out, Kate. Oh, my God. Put them out. There's a monster under New York City and Dave and his pizza. Why didn't you put them out oh my god there's a monster under new york city and dave and his pizza it's uh
Starting point is 01:25:27 why didn't you figure out we gotta we gotta put these oh we need them they rhyme they're really yeah are they printed no god no were they blocks oh we should write one that's like brandon walker's cranky and it just yeah it figures out that you just need to feed them yeah yeah we should do a kid's book yeah kate no one's ever put out a kid's book and been like, this is the smartest thing I've ever done. Nobody's ever done it. There doesn't need to be a twist. That's true.
Starting point is 01:25:51 Or an antagonist. Maybe that should be our Black Friday. A yak kid's book. Brandon Walker's cranky. The big cranky blonde man. Every morning, Brandon Walker comes in and walks in a circle. Why are you so cranky, Brandon? I'm not cranky.
Starting point is 01:26:11 Quit hollering. This could work. All the bacon's gone. There we go. Are we doing the books? Yeah. Brandon, what's wrong? All the bacon's gone.
Starting point is 01:26:24 I went over to Donnie. I smelled it, and All the bacon's gone. I went over to Donnie. I smelled it, and all the bacon's gone. All right, we got to get Triggs. We got to do this. I know we did an ABC book of Barstool. Oh, yeah. But a Brandon Walker's Cranky Yak special would be nice. I just wanted the bacon.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Play the kid, TJ. Play young Brandon. I want my bacon. I fucking love that kid so much she's messing with my bacon that wife swap yeah wife swap boy favorite clips steven singer everyone loves talking about steven singer you've heard the expression a million times i hate steven singer but most because most other jewelers hate him why because steven singer delivers the best quality real diamond jewelry at the very best possible price every single day.
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Starting point is 01:27:57 There's a couple different ones. There's one called Where Is My Dad? Oh, no. It's super fucked up. We could do a whole series. How to deal. Super fucked up. We could do a whole series. How to deal with bullying. Yeah. We could do crankiness.
Starting point is 01:28:10 Where's my dad in, Brandon? Pass. Oh, no. RG3 got fired. And Sam Ponder. Whoa. And who? Sam Ponder.
Starting point is 01:28:21 From what? ESPN. Dog. Damn. Sam Ponderonder an old foe who i actually don't even have ill will towards rg3 was for the croissant picture had to be done that was a big croissant that was the biggest how else was he going to show how big the croissant yeah you're right actually yeah yeah i apologize to robert that's the only way he was gonna he do the he and his wife both deep throat of the croissant well no no no no he took the bigger side she didn't deep throat anything he was caressing yeah that's fireable it's the shadow how else were you gonna make
Starting point is 01:28:58 that's fireable if i'm doing that with my wife i'm that's all the way in I am taking the other side that's brutal to be like I got fired and this is the last picture I posted how have I not seen this that's his legacy that's a big and like his hand placement his eyes closed the worst part is that he was like let's do this picture
Starting point is 01:29:20 and his wife is not even close to that oh she got him bad. That's the man's last photo. Oh, what happened? RGT got fired. He got fired for that? No, he just got fired.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Probably. Speaking of corny Heisman winners, Matt Leiner, what's he, what he does now? He just puts out dad TikToks? He's doing husband and wife TikToks. He's ranking teams on TikTok like up here above his head. He was like the coolest motherfucker 20 years ago to me. Tight ass viral. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:57 Now. Now he's just. Now he's doing gender reveal parties with his wife on TikTok and shit. He's doing what? He's doing like gender reveal parties. Oh, I think. I don't know. Just like picture a lame ass dad in middle America.
Starting point is 01:30:14 He lives in Manhattan Beach. I know. You know that. I do know that, Dan, which is why I'm so fucking angry with him. I'm like, dude, you got the sickest fucking life, and you're living like you're in... Manhattan Beach has so many famous people. Where's Manhattan Beach, Ty? Is that New York?
Starting point is 01:30:30 No, that's Southern California. Yeah. Yeah, that's where a lot of celebs live down there. Ryan Russillo. Yep. Ever heard of him? Luke Walton. Luke Walton.
Starting point is 01:30:37 We ran into him when we were on Grit Week. Did you look that up? What? Did you look that up, Ty? No, he knew that. What? Luke Walton. That's in south south california oh he's uh i'm another guy i ran out of gas on that one luke walton we saw at a ice cream shop and he just was like i introduced myself and he was
Starting point is 01:30:59 like that's a lot of ice cream oh shit how much ice cream was it it was a lot i had a like five scoops in a cone was it on your hands no i was just holding it but it was a lot of ice cream and he's like that's a lot do you have ice cream every day no but i do you want ice cream every day you do have ice cream every day the last three days i've had ice cream i don't have it every day. The last three days I've had ice cream. I don't have it every day. I have it most days. Yeah, I have it most days. You have a lot of it. Probably five out of seven days.
Starting point is 01:31:34 That's crazy. Well, summer. Summer ice cream. Ice cream is a summer. Winter, maybe not. I love ice cream. What's your favorite topping? I've been doing this thing where I go to Forever Yogurt, which is healthier, but then you just put a full candy bar on top.
Starting point is 01:31:51 So you like the full candy bar? Well, it's not full candy. It's like the crumbles, like Butterfinger. What would be your top candy to have? Probably Reese's or Butterfingers. And then I just dump it. I need you Philly guys to step back with Jimmy's. No, Jimmy's.
Starting point is 01:32:08 Sprinkles. You guys are saying Jimmy's? Yeah, my whole life we've called them Jimmy's. Jimmy's. Somebody told me that I should stop saying it. Wait, is it offensive? Apparently. There's rainbow Jimmy's but then originally it was for the chocolate. Chocolate Jimmy's.
Starting point is 01:32:23 I didn't know this until someone told me but allegedly do you say you want rainbow sprinkles or you say you want rainbow jimmies yeah is it like printed on the label like at an ice cream shop i've never it's just something we always just that's just what we always called them yeah instead of sprinkles like even on cupcakes like oh let's put jimmies on them like that sounds bad now i did that word come from? I don't know. DJ? Find it.
Starting point is 01:32:50 Wait, you owe us a bacon clip. We can't play that. Oh, why not? Copyright. We played it before, haven't we? I got to take it out. Fuck. All right, Brandon, reenact it.
Starting point is 01:33:00 I don't remember it very well. It's his favorite clip. She took my bacon, something like that. And I want's his favorite clip she took my bacon something like that and I want my bacon and I want my bacon the origin of the name Jimmy's uncertain but it was his first name
Starting point is 01:33:13 oh okay then we're fine then Jimmy's named him after an employee oh okay so somebody was fucking with me wait
Starting point is 01:33:20 after an employee I paid employees Wait, after an employee? Paid employee? Let's hope. I think you're fine. Yeah. Do people love the taste? I love sprinkles.
Starting point is 01:33:39 I do too. I like the mouthfeel. I think it's more of a texture. It's a texture thing. It changes the whole cone for me. Just getting something added to soft serve. I some ice cream today yeah same you know what same i'm a huge huge ice cream head too we have an ice cream truck that goes to the neighborhood all the time and uh never stopped the other day we thought what the hell let's stop and i thought i didn't stop because i thought it was like dumb ass spongebob gumball type bullshit he's got a
Starting point is 01:34:04 fucking soft serve yeah that blew my mind i was like if i would have known this i would have been stopping like crazy dude my uh in my old neighborhood in in brooklyn there was like in the summertime there was like five trucks that would just sit yeah like a little like three block area and i'd hit it up no it's a game changer now when i hear the yeah times i'm gonna sprint out and those those trucks don't have like it's not soft serve like frozen yogurt healthy stuff it's like it's the real shit it's the fucking thick real shit yeah i hate the rolled ice cream oh shit yeah yeah that's it they do all the tricks on the stone i wouldn't even fuck with that no oh stone cold creamery we went there that's the famous place that's right that's the big Penn State thing
Starting point is 01:34:46 Stone Cold Creamery We're going back on the road soon Brandon Going to some places We are going to some places Are the places finalized? I think four of them are Are you an enemy in any of these places? Yes
Starting point is 01:35:02 Most? Multiple Oh yeah an enemy in any of these places yes yeah most multiple oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah yeah actually all of them no red river i should be fine there you should be fine there but yeah auburn i we're saying i'm well i just say i'm yeah auburn i think we're gonna go to we're gonna go to old miss we're gonna go to michigan Those are three main. Oh, Brandon. Fuck it. I like that attitude. He's the heel of the show. Yeah, fuck it.
Starting point is 01:35:31 It's what he's great at. I'm ready. Is your body ready? Huh? You physically ready? No, they can't hit me. Every time they throw it, they hit a pregnant woman. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:35:40 What if there's no pregnant women? We got to get a pregnant woman. Sorry, my tubes are gone Yeah That's a stray dog chew toy now You should just You should come out That's correct You should come out with a pregnant woman standing in front of you
Starting point is 01:35:58 Go ahead A human shield Maybe some like Multiple A whole squad of them Like, go ahead. Yes, yeah. A human shield. Yeah. Maybe some like... Multiple. A whole squad of them. Yeah. You roll around campus with a squad of... Yeah.
Starting point is 01:36:12 Kids with cancer. Oh, that'd be so cool. What? What are you going to do? Go ahead, try me. Puppies. That's pretty... That's a genius idea.
Starting point is 01:36:22 Yeah, you should do that. Just load it up. We got a few months to think about it yeah um all right you guys i know got to run let's do the high noon ad read and spin the wheel because you guys gotta get to india we gotta get there there's a renaissance fair around next weekend if anybody wants to go i bought chain mail and armor yes yes titus i'll take that scoff as a big yes can't wait bud high noon the moment everybody's been waiting for is finally here.
Starting point is 01:36:45 The High Noon Pool Pack is back, so grab a case, text the group, and get your friends to the nearest pool. It's only here for the summer, so now it's time to enjoy lime, peach, and two limited edition flavors, guava and kiwi. As always, the High Noon Pool Pack is made with real vodka and real juice, has 100 calories, is gluten-free, and has no added sugar. Visit highnoonspirits.com to find it near you. Highnoonspirits.com. Spin this wheel. You guys got gotta get yourself to Indy. I'll be here tomorrow. There's a great Chick-fil-A, Purdue, rest stop.
Starting point is 01:37:12 Ooh. Very clean. I already know that, too. Of course. They're not all the same? There we go. Are they all the same? Yeah, pretty much. Chick-fil-A's? Yeah. Are they rude anywhere, I wonder? Not every rest stop has a Chick-fil-A's, what she said.
Starting point is 01:37:27 Yeah, that's true. Have you guys hit wiener circle yet? Yeah. Yeah. Are they actually that mean? Yeah. Yeah. They're pretty mean.
Starting point is 01:37:35 I haven't yet. I'm going to check that out. Yeah. Get a chocolate milkshake. Will do. Don't actually. Why? It's titties? It's titties
Starting point is 01:37:45 Oh yeah I'm in For sure It's titties Alright see you tomorrow It's the act It's the act It's the act It's the act. It's the action

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