The Yak - Data Day 2021 Goes HORRIBLY WRONG! | The Yak 9-9-21
Episode Date: September 10, 2021Shoutout geek squadYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Welcome in, it is Dada Day.
Dada, Dada, Dada, Dada. No, call him Dada. Data Day. Data. Data. Data.
Data.
Data.
No, call him Data.
Stephen Chay's bold NFL predictions are about to start.
Brandon Walker not coming in.
He's goofing it up with the fellows out in the hallway.
Okay.
Big announcement.
Frank is actually respecting his suspension.
Yeah, we just have to start Mike Gusecki over
Mark Andrews.
I fully
expected him to try to walk in.
You just told it,
gave it to him. I saw Frank and I said
Frank, I love you,
but you are suspended again.
And he got very upset.
Well, not upset. He was just more like,
this is bullshit.
What was it like akin to?
The Mets giving up a double?
No, he didn't do any biting of his shirt.
So he wasn't upset at all?
No, he wasn't upset at all.
He basically was just like, this is bullshit.
I want to appeal my suspension.
I said, as soon as the Dolphins win,
then he started to bite his shirt
because he's like, the Dolphins have to play the Patriots
and they have to play the Bucs and they have to play the 85 Bears.
And I was like, I don't think that's actually their schedule, Frank.
But we will hear his suspension, his trial, after the Dolphins win their first football game of the 2021 season.
And they could win this week.
Yeah.
They could beat the Patriots.
But then it still goes to trial.
Yeah. The trial doesn't sayots. But then it still goes to trial. Yeah.
The trial doesn't say that he's automatically reinstated.
You'll hear character witnesses and everything.
Yeah.
It'll be beautiful.
Now, Ronan had a great question yesterday.
Will this be like a courtroom trial or more like a Congress trial?
It's like a grand juror.
It's a grand juror.
A grand juror.
Okay.
That's not a trial at all then i actually think we should just divide uh the room pro and anti frank and then have owen be the judge and you can decide
sounds good um but that's that's doesn't really matter today because today is data day and i'm
so excited it is our yearly show of steven shea's bold predictions. Stephen, did you tweet out any of
your bold predictions?
I just tweeted the graphic out and the blog
is up. Your
draft grades were bold.
Bold draft grades.
Seriously.
We got an A in the system.
The algorithm gave us an A.
But Stephen Che gave us a C-.
Wow. Well, that's
a good thing that you brought that up because Stephen Che gave us a C-. Wow. Well, that's a good thing
that you brought that up because Stephen Che's
mind is stronger than a computer. It is.
So I trust him
over some fucking robot.
How did we get a worse grade than Chicago,
Stephen? Everyone's asking.
Chicago's team was awful, but they have two
rock-solid quarterbacks. How
rock-solid? Matthew Stafford,
Russell Wilson, they got Justin Fields.
So rock solid that you're taking Roman.
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you're ready to have confidence and control this
summer. Roman ready. Sass, what is the most
embarrassing moment you've had not being able to get hard?
I don't know.
I've never had that problem before.
You've never not had that problem?
So you're more of a Roman swipes guy because you jizz too fast.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay.
All right.
Good.
Show of hands.
Who is ED and who is swipes?
I've done both.
ED.
ED.
Big time. I'm a swipe. I've came soft before. ED? Big time.
I'm a Swipe.
I'm a Swipe.
Yeah, Swipe.
Sorry, I just love too much.
I get too hard.
Yeah.
You're just too hot.
I can't put the toothpaste back in the tube once I start getting hard.
Steven?
Bitch, you the robot.
Swipes or ED?
Swipes.
Okay, nice.
You're lying. Big man moves. All of you guys okay nice big man. You're lying big man
But all of you guys are lying what I know no you guys are like my softest group of friends
Penis watch no saying all right my I have a dysfunction. I've never seen you hard
So how do you get prescribed?
Is it like hair loss medication you have to send a picture of your class a crown of your?
That's where i worked before this he's got male male pattern flaccidity i'm a four on the hardwoods scale
what is that a norwoods it's a it's a norwood his hair yeah yeah hardness is mose all right
so steven scale start us off explain to us how you got to these predictions.
So very simple.
I laid out the entire NFL schedule game by game, every single game,
every single date, every single time that the game is airing,
every single network I believe I even have in there.
You believe or you're sure of that?
Do some teams perform better on Fox?
I mean, NFC is typically on Fox.
I believe that's going to be changing soon, which will be interesting.
But anyway, I laid it all out, added units,
so something that will calculate onto the sheet off of the data,
entered in who I thought was going to win,
and then it auto-populated in another sheet,
which I sent screenshots to you guys of what it looks like with predicted standings.
What do you mean units?
What did you mean when you said that?
It's like a term for an Excel number.
So when a team wins, you put one in the end card.
That's a unit.
So a unit's a win.
I understand.
So it's basically the matrix.
You just have the matrix in your computer.
It's basically illuminated binary code, yes.
Okay, wow.
By binary, you mean you say win or loss.
Explain it to us like we went to one semester of college.
And I don't like sports.
I do the schedule, and then I pick the winners of the teams,
and then it auto-populates into another sheet that spits out the record.
I'd like to point out, once again, you have not included ties.
Yes.
I didn't include a tie.
I don't think there's going to be a tie this year.
You don't think there's going to be a tie?
I don't.
There's a tie every year.
Now, is that—
That's not true.
I think that is.
No, I don't think that is true.
There's been, like, five ties in the last 20 years.
Wow.
Is that—well, there was one last year.
Two last year.
Two last year.
Yep.
So your data was thrown out from that.
Technically, you're correct. Already, I can tell this is wrong. Two last year. Two last year. Yep. So your data was thrown out from that. Technically, you're correct.
Already, I could tell this is wrong.
Right.
Yeah.
I could tell that this is not going to be correct.
So, Stephen, now tell us the algorithm you use to decide who wins and loses games.
I pick with my brain.
Got it.
So, okay.
Oh, okay.
Got it.
So no power ratings or anything?
No. I mean, I do a lot of research. I read Warren Sharpe's whole book. Yep. Okay. no power ratings or anything? No.
I mean, I do a lot of research.
I read Warren Sharpe's whole book.
Yep.
Okay.
Cover to cover?
Yep.
Wow.
How long ago did you read it?
I mean, it's been a process, but I started in late July, late last week of July.
Okay.
Now, do you have last year's records?
Do we know what you screwed up?
I had the Ravens over the Cowboys in the Super Bowl.
Oh.
Injuries, injuries, injuries.
Wait.
The Cowboys got close, though.
They made the playoffs.
Yeah, no, they got close.
Their quarterback got injured.
And the Ravens got injuries.
Yeah, the Ravens had their quarterback got injured, too, right?
The Ravens got really close, right?
The Ravens were able in a playoff game.
So they were in the AFC Championship game?
Divisional round. Oh. So not not even close not even on the doorstep i mean i'm not one to blame injuries who did you just do the data should account for that yes it's hard to predict injuries
so do you have any algorithm that predicts injuries algorithm officially no well injuries
will happen this year they're already inevitable
right so you just went if this is a world with no injuries you turned injuries off on your on
your simulation i i used to do that sometimes i did did you turn fatigue off as well i always
was uh was covid in the oh good question, Sass. Yes, Sass. Let's go. I was learning about Sass. Viva.
Viva.
Viva.
It's funny you mention that.
So I started the blog and I go AFC top to bottom.
And the AFC East is the first team that I'll go through.
And I put in a sentence, but I took it out because I didn't want to make it any type of issue like that.
But the Buffalo Bills, I have going 15-2.
They are, I believe believe the most or second low
or the lowest of the second lowest vaccinated team and they have obviously a few guys that
have spoken out about that that could be an issue that could throw these predictions off
so you but you didn't you just bypassed you just ignored that right it's very difficult to look at
on a game by game basis and predicting if and when a team will get COVID. Okay.
So we haven't accounted for COVID or injuries.
Yes?
I mean, I accounted for, like, Jimmy G getting hurt. What about weather?
Have you accounted for weather?
Yes.
Good question.
You did?
Yes.
Okay.
And now the numbers that we have here in front of us, the records,
which we will go through in a second.
And it's up on the Barstool Sports blog and my Twitter.
Up on the Barstool Sports blog and on Twitter. Up on the Barstool Sports blog and on Twitter.
Now, do you...
This is the final data.
Correct.
So congratulations to the Buccaneers.
Back-to-back champions.
Tip of the cap to the Buccaneers.
And again, just remind me, what's the data in this?
It's just the games are being played.
I'm picking the winners of the games that are played.
That's you picking the winners, not actual data.
No, if you can see towards the bottom of your sheet.
This is where I wanted to be.
This is where I want to be.
What about the people that...
This is the moment I look forward to every year, this exact moment.
I knew this question was coming.
And you still didn't change anything.
I didn't. Right. So't right so there is no lie so what is the data data it's your your subject your subjectivity
please read the two sentences under the predictions for everyone spreadsheet data is information that
is stored in any spreadsheet program such as excel or google
sheets data stored in cells in a worksheet can be used in calculations displayed in graphs or
sorted and filtered to find is that plagiarized it's screenshotted so but saying the games are
going to happen isn't data but anything that's data is a statistic, correct?
Correct.
So everything is data and nothing is not data.
If you're using a spreadsheet, correct.
So if I, in one of these spreadsheet cells,
put that I had a... A seven-inch dick.
It would be statistically true.
That's data.
I mean, you need to formulate something off of that.
If I said the Philadelphia and Atlanta game this week,
a bomb went off, not saying that,
but what if it did in my data
and then both teams just didn't finish the season?
Would that be data?
You have to understand,
you have to be putting it towards a calculation for something.
Right.
The calculation is you have two less teams in the entire NFL.
How would a bomb effectively?
For example, if you made a sheet that said a tab in an excel doc
and one of the categories was will a bomb go off during this game right and all of them were no or
zero but then you had one that was yes then yes that would be data that would but it would not
be a sentence a sentence is not data okay but the data is completely made up. I feel like a sentence can be data.
How are you calculating a sentence?
Well, like A squared plus B squared
equals C squared is a sentence.
That's true.
Yeah.
It's prose.
It's Faulkner.
So where are we now?
Faulkner is overrated as a prose guy.
That's not anything that can be tabulated
and added in an Excel sheet.
But the data, the actual data is your brain deciding who
wins and loses it's completely subjective the data is actually the units and i am making a choice
right you're which is then you're playing god was then calling on the units
in this spreadsheet yes i am yeah in this spreadsheet yes i am so the data could be
rone has a nine-inch penis,
and there's a column for yes and a column for no.
It's yes.
Then it's statistically true.
Accurate.
It would have to be part of a large calculation.
Excellent.
Excellent.
Okay.
So what if we did a cell that says,
Son of a Boy Dad, number one podcast,
just beat Full Send podcast.
Yes.
Come on, bro.
Don't tease us. The data would be the
yes, the one. What?
But that's true now.
Why is Roan getting so many great hypotheticals
here? This is true. Now it's true
because it's the data. If the data said
that Brandon's sling show
was going to be an abject failure
like we're all hoping. Yep, and they should have
done lowering the bar instead of Brandon's show.
That's where we're all truly hoping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If the data said Brandon Walker's always getting his dick sucked and they should have done lowering the bar instead of branding the show.
We're all truly hoping.
The data said Brandon Walker is always getting his dick sucked by programming.
Is Brandon Walker
ripping off Paul Feinbaum?
Yes. One is yes.
The data would be yes, the number.
So then that becomes fact.
If you put in a larger calculation, then yes.
And how was your...
What type of calculation was it?
It was just adding up all the cells.
I mean, it's a sum ifs formula.
Okay, so it's not like some crazy calculation here.
It's just...
You type in if they win.
And then it becomes fact.
And it becomes data.
It becomes data and data is fact.
It's a large table of data that I'm analyzing.
No, it's not a large table.
It's your brain. How large is the table?
You're deciding it. The data says the Bills are 15-2
but your brain said the Bucks are going to win the Super Bowl.
Did the data tell you the Bucks are going to win the Super Bowl?
Yeah, wouldn't the data say that the Bills,ucs are going to win the Super Bowl. Did the data tell you the Bucs are going to win the Super Bowl? Yeah.
Wouldn't the data say that the Bills, the best team, would win the Super Bowl?
Did the formula get broken between the regular season and the Super Bowl?
No, you don't just go off.
It's not just the playoffs.
Can I count for other things?
Some teams are better on the road.
Some teams don't necessarily win the playoffs.
But the formula is unbiased.
Always.
The formula is always unbiased.
But the Bucs won the Super Bowl.
I mean, they're the best team in the league.
Unbiased.
But you have the Bills at 15-2.
They haven't played a game.
Yeah, you have the Bills as the best team.
They have a better schedule.
Better schedule.
Worse.
Easy.
Who got DeAndre Swift last night?
$1. $1. Uh-oh. I believe he's being charged with murder. Oh. Who got DeAndre Swift last night? One dollar.
I believe he's being charged with murder.
Is he really?
Yes.
Fuck yeah.
The former Georgia running back?
The guy who went to St. Joe's Prep, too.
Who'd he kill?
I'm not sure.
I'd like to see this.
All right.
So, man, did you account for that in your data?
That would be a new development.
Is that public now, Owen?
Yeah.
It's on Twitter now?
I'm not sure.
Somebody just sent it to me.
Oh, that's not true, then.
It's one tweet.
Great.
I heard word of this earlier today.
Did you?
Yes.
The first tweet's always the most accurate one.
It's data. Yeah. It's not being added into anything, so it's not data. Let's all's always the most accurate one. It's data.
Yeah.
It's not being added into anything, so it's not data.
Let's all retweet the tweet.
I don't know if that's necessary for data.
But again, the data is...
I feel like everyone used to say data, and now everyone's saying data.
Well, you...
I mean, do you have a cell that says what's...
Sounds like you're saying day-to-day if you say day-to-day.
Yeah.
So it's data-day.
But what is the what's
the actual pronunciation do you have data to back that up it doesn't do words it's it's numbers it's
no words it's again it's a it's a binary thing it's yes or no so then and you decide the data
oh wait this is a murder someone tried to rob him oh oh and he shot the guy oh we shot the guy first though
kind of the coolest thing that can happen by the way yeah like oh this sounded so bad down
nobody fucking read this if you if you had like murdering someone but having it be completely
justified is the coolest outcome that you could have because then you were like hey have you
killed a man yes yes did you go to jail? No.
And that's why George Zimmerman is the man.
Yeah.
Oh, damn.
Fuck.
No, this is way better than the other scenario.
I mean, it sucks that somebody died,
but the fact that he's somewhat justified,
someone was trying to rob him of $15,000.
Didn't that happen to Louisiana LSU players last year?
Yeah.
There were like three of them, right?
And somebody else said, oh, the Chiefs didn't, or like Chris Jones,
didn't he say he kept the gun for the same reason or something?
People are trying to rob.
That's just every day in Brazil.
Facts, bro.
That's true.
That's just facts.
Everyone just has a gun, man.
You walk in, you just shoot each other.
Or machetes.
Shoot or be shot.
That's how you say hello.
This is how it is.
All right, so back to the data.
Thank God, bro.
So he's not going to be,
you don't have to drop him from your fantasy team.
No, come on.
It'd be unjust.
Let's let the justice system take place
before we start dropping guys from our fantasy team.
All right, so Steven,
do you want to go through division by division here?
Sure.
All right.
Let's start AFC East.
That's typically one subject to do.
Yep.
Buffalo Bills 15-2.
Wow.
That's a hell of a year.
Who are their two losses?
Check the data.
That's a good question.
Can we get that real quick?
Scrolling through.
Seems like the data should be easier
to access. That's too many wins for them.
I'll just say it right now. That's too many wins.
You don't get to decide.
That's Stephen Chay's decision.
You big dick bastard.
He has October 10th
losing in Kansas City.
Oh yes, of course.
That was again just your decision.
And losing at home to Indianapolis on November 21st.
Oh, what happened there?
What happened there?
Yeah.
Game on CBS.
Rest day?
Game was on CBS?
Did that have anything to do with the...
Nope.
It's two AFC teams, so that will be on CBS.
But I'm saying that that happened...
Yeah.
Go ahead, Nick.
Why'd you say that?
Just flexing that I do have the networks.
Oh, okay. And that's in the sheet. Iting that I do have the networks. Oh, okay.
And that's in the sheet.
It's in the sheet.
But it doesn't do anything.
No.
You have the 9-0 Colts beating the 15-2 Bills in Buffalo.
The what?
9-8.
I'm sorry.
The 9-8 Colts beating the 15-2 Bills in Buffalo.
Yeah.
Any given Sunday, buddy.
How good?
You can't just say that.
Give me 20. Drop and give me 20. Drop and give me 20. No, I can't. Yes good? You can't just say that. Give me 20.
Drop and give me 20.
Drop and give me 20.
No, I can't.
Yes, you can.
I tore my ACL.
No, you didn't.
Come on.
ACL.
What's the point of your stomach?
Steven, what was the Colts' record when they beat the Bills in Buffalo?
It's not tabulated to do that.
I'll have to do quick math, which is annoying.
I mean, this is.
So what do you enter?
Do you enter a final score?
No, just a 1 or a 0.
You just enter a 1 or a 0?
No, I actually just type in the name of the team and the
ones that are formulated.
I feel like we asked
for final scores this year. Wait, but you said
words aren't...
Correct. So my brain is just
triggering a formula that has the quantity.
Oh my god.
This is like how Thanksgiving was written.
This is what we wait for all year.
It's my favorite taste.
His brain triggers a formula, what we would call a thought or a decision, being yes or no.
Do you ever think you'll get to a point where you don't even have to type?
You just have the thought and it becomes data?
Singularity, yeah.
Probably.
How far away can we be?
15 years maybe?
Maybe so.
Because we have talk to type right now.
You can kind of just think to type.
I wonder what the new listeners who have jumped on in the last year since last data day are thinking right now.
Are they like, what is going on?
Because there's definitely some people who are like, this rules.
Because it is.
It is.
Once a year.
Once a year, we have this exact discussion about the fact that Stephen
Che thinks his own thoughts are data because he put them in a spreadsheet
that's completely subjective.
Again, based on the definition of data.
Yeah, right.
Once a year, he adds a new attribute that makes him more godlike.
Now his thoughts
are formulas.
Penny for your formulas.
As fast as the human brain can think of a word
yes or no.
That's how fast he runs the formula.
So if you actually look on your prep sheet, I included a screenshot
of what my raw data looks like.
Yeah, it's just literally the schedule
and then a one.
Correct. So the predicted winners...
Again, that's
not really... There's no real...
You just took the schedule.
No, it's in a tab that says raw data.
A tab that he named.
Because it hasn't been crunched yet.
You haven't put it...
This is how the sausage gets made.
That is exactly how the sausage gets made. That is exactly how the sausage gets made.
So I fill in the predicted winner
and then the quantity is the data.
Uncrunched data.
And the layperson just can't understand
this, so this needs to be run through.
The algorithm, right?
Well, it's a lot of games to add up, so yes.
Let's try
the AFC East again.
The Bills aren't winning 15 games you know
you don't you don't like the dolphins i'm just anti-science yeah what happened to the dolphins
and the jets this year dolphins 7 and 10 dolphins 7 to 10 2 is really tough to predict i mean their
owners trying to go in with the sean watson. Wait, so how did you do it then? Yeah, predict.
That's a weird word to use.
I managed.
But yeah, it's tough to get behind. No, no, go back to what KB just said.
Predict.
That's not...
You mean solve.
Yeah.
Are you predicting these records?
I think he's predicting these records.
The name of the blog is My Predictions.
Yes, My Bold Predictions.
That doesn't seem like data.
But they're not bold if they're scientifically backed.
I mean, I have five new playoff teams in there.
I think that's bold.
This is one of those moments, like, I don't think people realize,
I could literally do this for the rest of my life.
Just have this discussion with Stephen Che about the definition of data
and now him just randomly deciding what team wins and loses is not actual science.
Is he ever accurate?
No, never.
He had the Cowboys and the Ravens in the Super Bowl last year.
I think I hit six division winners last year.
Pretty good.
Let's do a bet.
If one single team's record ends up being correct.
I'll 100% take that bet.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
I'm betting, personally,
that none of them
will... You have to wear pants
for a week. Don't do it.
There will be a coming January.
Pants in winter?
I'm going to have to wear
pants in February.
Fuck. KB, no. Don't do it.
Because some of these will be right
because it's just
your legs are too nice.
We should boost the shit
out of like a Bucks-Browns
Super Bowl matchup.
Yeah, have you made
any personal decisions
over this data?
Like, did you book
a hotel in LA
in February?
You probably should.
Not officially.
I'm hoping that
things work out here
where I will be there
because my team will be there. Do you think that if you booked a hotel and a flight to la and then showed them
this spreadsheet and then the bucks somehow didn't make it to super bowl they would refund it being
like well it's not your fault the data lied to you even though the data is just your brain
it'd be a tough situation.
Yeah, but I think it might work.
If you're like, look, see this?
It's worth a shot.
It's a computer told me the Bucs were going to be in the Super Bowl.
This is unfair.
The one thing I believe is that the Colts are going to wind up beating the Bills.
I'd like to put a futures on that one, right?
Just today.
I'd just like to bet that today.
You can't do that?
Can you just run down real quick week one?
The winners and losers?
Oh, yeah.
This is good.
Yeah.
I'm going to go with the opposites for every single one.
You'll be rich.
His data just blows up right away.
Last year we had a tie, what, in like week three?
Pretty early.
Yeah, it was just the whole spreadsheet was gone.
Yep.
He didn't even show his game by game.
Like, if he shows his game by game this year,
then we'll know exactly what's incorrect about the data right away.
This is a broken computer.
So Bucks, Cowboys.
We should take Steven's brain to Geek Squad.
Can you guys take a look at this?
Or like Mythbusters.
This is the most complex computer I've ever seen.
The data in this computer seems to be malfunctioning.
This computer looks just like a man.
That's what you think.
All right, go ahead.
All right, Dallas at Tampa Bay, got the Bucs.
I really hope Cowboys win again tonight, then.
Oh, God.
Game one.
Philadelphia at Atlanta, we got the Falcons.
Okay.
Pittsburgh at Buffalo, we got the Bills.
Minnesota at Cincy, we got the Vikings.
Okay. San Francisco at Detroit, we got the Niners. You've only done
favorites.
There's no spreads in this. Yeah, I know, but I know
the spreads and you've only picked favorites.
Upsets happen. Let's keep going.
Arizona at Tennessee, I got the Cardinals.
Oh, there we go. That's the first upset.
Seattle at Indy, I got the Seahawks.
That's not an upset. Chargers at
Washington, I got the football team. Jets at Carolina, I got the Seahawks. That's not an upset. Chargers at Washington. I got the football team.
Jets at Carolina. I got the Panthers.
Jacksonville at Houston. I got the
Texans. Cleveland at
Kansas City. I got the Chiefs. Miami
at New England. I got the Finns.
Broncos at Giants. I got the Broncos.
So you have the Finns and they finish 7-10
and the Patriots go 10-7.
But you also have the Texans winning for week one and then only
winning once for the rest of the year. We saw that
last year with Jacksonville. Got it.
Chicago at
the Rams, or Green Bay at New Orleans, I got the Packers.
Or it's in Jacksonville.
Chicago at the Rams, I got the
Rams. Baltimore at Vegas,
I got the Ravens. Now, you
who's your most hated team
in the NFL?
Panthers, maybe, but I picked them to go to the wild card.
I think the answer is the Saints, though.
You hate the Saints.
You just lied.
No, I hate the Panthers a lot.
No, you hate the Saints.
Remember, what was your tweet last year that ended up being true?
Oh, that I will remember this.
Yeah.
And you did remember it.
That was true.
All right, so let's go to the NFC North.
You just proved that it was true by saying that.
Well, there it is.
Shit.
He's good.
13 favorites, three dogs, all less than three point dogs.
Yep.
13 favorites.
Okay.
All right, so.
So you're saying these results are likely, Owen?
Yes.
Well, no.
So the bookmakers agree with me for the most part.
No, but that's not...
No, you're where the simple money is.
Yeah, the line isn't who's going to win.
It's getting even money on both sides.
Okay.
All right.
That was...
Yeah, okay.
That was a geek squad moment. We had to walk a man and be like, say that sentence again. Okay. All right. That was a Geek Squad moment.
We had to walk a man and be like, say that sentence again.
Okay.
Now look what happened to his brain.
Can you fix that?
Can you fix that?
The money line is in favor of most of my picks.
Yes, that is a fact.
All right.
AFC North, you're high on the Browns.
I am.
I am picking them to go to the Super Bowl.
By the way, we didn't even get to this.
How did the computer deal with the fact that there's 17 games now in the regular season?
I had to update some formulas.
Oh, okay.
Wait, no, wait.
What formula?
What formulas?
So the formulas spit out.
It's a sum-miss formula for the wins column, and the losses column was previously 16 minus the win column.
Oh.
Now it's changed
to 17 for every team.
So one formula
you had to switch.
For every team,
so 32.
The term spit out
is the one that gets me
the most.
Yeah, it's a theory.
That's literally what it does.
Yes, but it's your thoughts.
It's not literally
what it does.
It's not at all.
Do any of you guys
even have Microsoft Excel?
I know that you don't know.
This also isn't Microsoft Excel.
This is Google Sheets.
That's incorrect.
It is Microsoft Excel.
It's a screenshot, what you're seeing.
So wait, are you...
Don't come at me like that again.
I'm pretty sure they won't forget that.
But Sass took a class Sass very recently
took a class on Excel
I think that he'd be able
to spit out
and it was really easy too
there's no way
that doing 16 minus
the wins
is the easiest way
to do this
like it should just
tabulate on its own
I don't think you know
how to use Microsoft Excel
no this is a
this is a foolproof version
a foolproof version?
you've never made a mistake?
Not when this is auto-populating, no.
Damn, that was good.
All right.
He is very good.
AFC South, you have the Titans winning that division.
You have the Texans.
Have you put in anything about Deshaun Watson in your data?
Deshaun Watson I have not playing this year.
At all?
Not for the Texans, no.
Okay, so the data says no Deshaun Watson.
That's Tyrod Talley's team, yep.
And if he gets traded to the Dolphins, does that factor into your data?
That's why the Dolphins were tough to predict,
but we kind of managed with going with Tua for the most part.
Wait, you predicted it or the data told you?
I am predicting the teams, and then the data spits it out.
Got it, spits it out, right. All right. AFC West, you're high on the Broncos. then the data spits it out. Got it. Spits it out. Right. Alright.
AFC West, you're high on the Broncos. There's a lot going
on out there right now.
What's going on?
You got a Gilly Wallow goalie
challenge.
Gilly just hurt himself. Gilly's athletic.
Gilly jumps around.
He's almost flying all over the
place. Ebony is dressed like she's going to rob
and beat someone up. I just got an alert
that ESPN data
computer has the Browns in the Super Bowl too.
Is there any chance there was plagiarism involved?
Zero. One way or the other?
Zero. I don't even know. Well, you don't know that ESPN
could have plagiarized you. Yeah, what if ESPN plagiarized
you? Is there a chance? They could have.
I mean, how long has your blog been out?
It got published at one, but it's been written
for a few hours.
Interesting. We'll have been on the back end.
We'll have to dig into that.
Do you think, are you worried that someone might steal your code?
Oh, wow.
Like an IP type of thing.
Yeah, that's right.
No, I mean, the formula is pretty generic.
I mean, if Sass thinks it's so easy, maybe he could do it.
Whoa.
Why are you taking shots at me?
You said Excel was really easy.
You're sassy today.
Is there any proprietary information in your formula?
Like, how did you get the whole schedule?
That was difficult.
I had to get it from...
Wait, what?
No.
What are the easiest things you could do?
That is literally the easiest part of this entire thing.
No.
Actually, the easiest part is you just deciding arbitrarily who wins and loses games.
No. So, I mean, yeah, getting a scheduled is pretty annoying because it doesn't really come in a
downloadable format or like a csv file so i had to go and paste it and then do a lot of manual
adjustments oh wow do you what kind of like supercomputer do you have at home and the
keyboard just has the one and zero warning i have a macbook, but it is producer edition with some extra versions.
Oh, that's where.
Okay.
You could tell.
All right, so the Chiefs have 12-5.
Not great.
I mean, they're.
Pretty good record.
A little bit of a backslide.
Yeah, a little bit.
Who did they lose to?
A little bit.
Especially because they beat the Bills, who are the best team in the league.
Right.
We already have one win for them.
I'll go through that for you in a moment.
Yeah, just grab a couple of the losses.
Double check that.
It's kind of being a tough division.
Spit that out.
But the Broncos, I mean, are the Broncos,
the Broncos might suck this year.
Well, no, they're going 11-6.
They're going 11-6.
I have the Chiefs losing to the Chargers at home at Arrowhead.
So you have Teddy Bridgewater winning one less game than Patrick Mahomes.
Correct.
Broncos defense. Broncos defense.
Broncos defense.
I have the Eagles beating the Chiefs on October 3rd.
And they win four games total and one of them against the Chiefs.
We've seen crazier things.
Yep, that's true.
Any given Sunday.
Walk me through that one.
Right.
Yeah, walk me through that decision.
Seems like a wild prediction.
You see Eagles-Chiefs and you're like, yeah, Eagles are going to win this game.
Why?
But you hate Jalen Hurts.
This is a very random loss for the Chiefs.
You think the Eagles will have the worst record in the NFC and the second worst record or third worst record in the whole league.
If they beat the Chiefs.
That's why they play the games.
Okay, but you can't just say that!
When does this game happen?
When does the Chiefs-Eagles game happen? Is it off of a Chiefs
big win? Is it off of a Chiefs
short week? Now wait, this is
cross-conference. Is it CBS or is it Fox?
This is a CBS game.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
What about flexes?
Flexes are not a count.
I mean, those don't come out yet.
I mean, but you predict everything else.
Doesn't it seem like you should be able to predict the flexes?
I don't fucking know.
You should be able to.
The Eagles beating the Chiefs has got to be. I'm stopped there.
The Chiefs are coming off a loss, so that'll be a two-game losing streak.
Two-game losing streak.
Chargers and Eagles, yes.
But then they can play the Eagles.
You'd think it'd be a get-right game.
But that's why they play the game.
And the data says different.
So you just saw Eagles-Chiefs.
You're like, yep, Eagles.
That's pretty much how it went.
In a game, they're coming off a loss.
The Chiefs are going to the Eagles.
You've got Jalen Hurts beating Patrick Mahomes.
You've got that.
You've chosen that.
Brandon, yeah, that's how it works.
That's how it works.
Don't be such an ignorant slut, Brandon.
He is.
All right, so can you predict the flexes next year?
Because it feels like you predict the data tells you everything,
but then it can't do the flexes.
Do you want to hear the rest of the Chiefs' losses?
Sure.
At Washington on October 17th, one o'clock game on CBS.
Good defense.
They lose to the Raiders
on Sunday Night Football
on October 14th.
Throw out the Raiders.
At the Black Hole,
the Raiders are typically
a better road team.
That's not really
the Black Hole anymore.
Well, the Death Star,
whatever you want to call it.
Yeah, I mean, it's not the Black Hole. Sure. Well, the Death Star, whatever you want to call it. Yeah, I mean, it's not the black hole.
Sure.
Well, did you know that when you put that loss in?
Because you just said, at the black hole, Raiders win.
I have to get to a different building.
That's not where they're playing, so now can I trust how you came up with this?
Freudian?
You wanted to fuck your dad.
He wants to fuck the black hole.
I have them losing to the Chargers for their fifth loss.
So the Chargers sweep that series.
When is that game?
December 16th.
It's a Thursday night game on Fox, NFL Network, and Amazon.
And Amazon?
That game's everywhere.
They sweep.
Chargers sweep the Chiefs.
Don't make the playoffs.
8-9.
Yes. Wow. Interesting. Chargers sweep. The Chiefs don't make the playoffs. 8-9. Yes.
Wow.
Interesting.
9-8.
Okay.
All right.
Let's go NFC.
So the Eagles suck.
Well, not every week.
They beat the Chiefs.
Yeah, that's true.
Who else did the Eagles beat?
Any other big wins they can hang your hat on?
Please.
Assume they beat the Giants.
They also suck.
They're going to be the worst
team in the NFC.
The Eagles have their first win of the year
against Kansas City on October 3rd.
They
win two in a row actually at Carolina
on October 10th.
1pm game on Fox.
Hold on, Stephen.
I just don't understand this method of this Eagles madness. You've got them going on October 10th, 1 p.m. game on Fox. Hold on, Stephen. Two playoff games. Hold on, Stephen. Yes?
I just don't understand this method of this Eagles madness.
You got them going defeated until they play the Chiefs,
and then a road game at the Panthers, they went two in a row.
Does it have anything to do with Devonta Smith?
No. I think Devonta Smith is going to be a good player.
I've been on record for that for a while.
Not top 10.
I just thought he was drafted a little bit too early.
But they're going to lose to the teams that are like last place teams in front of them,
like the Falcons, and then they're going to beat the playoff teams and the Chiefs and the...
No, they lose to the Falcons.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
They lose to playoff teams.
Yeah, but you have the Panthers in the playoffs,
and obviously you have the Chiefs in the playoffs,
and you have them sweeping those two teams to go two and three.
The disparity. You see the disparity that I'm thinking of? So they also have the Eagless in the playoffs, and you have them sweeping those two teams to go two and three. The disparity.
You see the disparity that I'm seeing?
So, I also have the Eagles beating the Lions on Halloween.
I got it, guys.
I got it.
He's building up a two-game winning streak for the Eagles because they play the Bucs the next week.
Oh!
Jay!
Busted!
Come on.
That's exactly what you did.
Nope.
Brutal.
Well, counterpoint.
It's right there.
They play the Bucs after they beat the Panthers and the Chiefs.
Nope, that wasn't how it was done.
People are texting me right now.
I'm getting DMs right now saying that your data has 270 wins and 274 losses.
What?
Oh, my God.
No.
They don't think that's possible.
Oh, my God.
Is that true? No, I'll check it right God. No. They don't think that's possible. Oh, my God. Is that true?
No, I'll check it right now.
Oh, my.
I'll do the losses.
Someone do the wins.
I'm going to double check.
Someone do the wins right now.
Owen.
Do it on your-
No, it's 274.
The numbers are correct.
Wow.
I assure you.
Are you positive?
There's 141 losses in the AFC, and there is 133 in the NFC.
Stronger NFC.
What team do people in El Paso root for?
Because they've got to be 400 plus miles from every single team dude i just saw a stat
about how el paso or it was like an infograph i need to show you this infograph about about which
games they're getting because they don't even get the broncos game there's a nationally televised
broncos game that everybody else in their region is getting and they carve out el paso i have to
show you this el paso is closest to phoenix? El Paso is closest to Phoenix, I would imagine,
and that's got to be like six hours plus away.
176 wins in the AFC.
Do you want me to count all the wins?
Yeah.
This is...
In the AFC, there is 131 wins.
Oh, wait, sorry.
There is 131 wins. You guys wait, sorry. There is 131 wins.
You guys are dangerously close to questioning this data, and I don't like it.
In the AFC, there's 139 wins.
Dude, they just carve out El Paso.
El Paso?
Oh, dude, I'll tweet it at you because this shit is so fucking...
Does that change your love for the city itself, Kyle?
Yes, I love them more.
I feel I have more empathy.
294 losses?
294, what are you talking about?
How many losses do you have?
I miscounted.
Oh, no.
Oh, wow.
How many wins and how many losses?
274.
How many losses?
270 wins.
Are you doubly sure?
Oh, wow.
We have 270 wins. What? Oh, wow. We have 270 wins.
What?
Oh, no.
Wait.
Are you serious?
This is bad.
Oh, my God.
Steven, I assure you, your data
is incorrect.
It's kind of like the one thing.
Oh, say it again, your data's incorrect. It's kind of like the one thing.
Oh!
Say it again, Steven.
Hold on.
Oh, no.
No.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
This is...
What do we do now?
But how?
What do we do?
I don't know what to believe in.
But how?
How is this possible?
I don't know.
What was it? Is he going to cry? How is this possible? I don't know.
Is he going to cry?
Someone literally just DM'd me saying that.
They're probably watching the show, yeah. They DM'd it to me like,
that literally was 10 minutes ago.
Yeah, that's how it came up.
That's how they read it 10 minutes ago.
The data has been corrupted.
Yeah, the data has to be corrupted.
Did you get hacked, Jay?
Oh my God.
What are we going to do?
I'm double-checking everything.
Double-check, triple-check?
No, you have to start over.
It's like the butterfly.
You got to fucking start...
What it was,
it was probably a formula error.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
No, you can't say that.
When it's right, it's the brain.
When it's wrong, it's the formula.
Yeah, right.
You can't blame the computer.
All of your mistakes. If it was a formula error, that means that the whole thing would be wrong, right?
Yeah.
All the formula would be wrong.
I can't trust any of these predictions now.
Bucks, 5 and 12.
Yeah.
What are we going to do?
Che.
Steven, say something.
Do the English say anything?
Don't be the chiefs or not.
Tell me.
Steven.
I'm trying to go through it hold on you can't leave me
hanging here like this steven i'm trying to see where my guess would be it's a typing error
i mean that's that's the only thing it could ever be
no it's something with the formula steven how how did this happen? Crunch the numbers harder.
Wait, we have more wins than losses?
Is that right?
Crunch.
What do we have?
What are the numbers?
I think it was four more losses than wins.
274 to 270.
So you have to take away two wins from someone?
That could knock the Panthers out of the playoffs.
They have to come off the box record.
They have to.
And now they're not the 1C.
And now they're not the 1C. And now they're not the 1C.
There's people in Lorain, Ohio, waiting with bated breath to know what their plans are for the Super Bowl.
Oh, my God.
This bumps the Bucs are now having to play.
Who has the tiebreaker between the Packers and the Rams?
Hurry, Steven.
Who has the tiebreaker?
The Packers have the tiebreaker.
Okay, so the Packers.
So you have to play at L.A.
That's a loss.
In the first round of the playoffs.
You have the Texans, then Titans only playing 16 games.
Oh, no.
Wait, what?
No, it's Titans 10-7.
No, it's okay.
Texans 2-0.
In the blog it says 16 for each of them.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
2-14.
Oh, God, no.
I mean, how could this have happened?
Seth, I'm sorry.
It's not usually like this. Who did this, Steven?
Who could have?
Who got?
Do you think it might have been your wife that got into the data?
No, that's not true.
Do you think it was the flood?
Do you think it was the water damage into the data?
That's got to be it.
That has to be it.
Did you do this data when you were being flooded?
Please let that be it.
No.
I did do some of it while we were being flooded.
Well, like the days after.
I mean, a computer can't survive.
I kind of like the visual of him doing it while he's being flooded.
Just water at his ankles.
Put it up to his neck.
His computer and keyboard are on a shelf above his head.
This is my home.
What?
What was the O-O-K there?
I have a bad feeling you're going to end up being like a vegetable after this.
The computer's broken.
Sorry.
So Owen pointed out there's a typo in the blog, but that's not the actual.
I'm concerned about the Excel sheet.
So, yes, I had 10 and 6 first.
As are we, my friend.
You've put us in a terrible spot.
People come to the YakAC for statistical information.
I don't want to do this.
I don't want to do what I'm about to do.
Oh, no.
Don't do it.
I know you guys don't.
You probably have to do it.
No, you don't have to do that.
That's a bit drastic.
I'm going to do it.
Steven?
Yes.
You are no longer our senior draft analyst.
Oh, fuck.
You can't be trusting.
That's harsh.
You can't be trusting. You are harsh. You can't be trusting.
You're demoted to junior again.
I'll call Caleb.
I have to do it.
How can we have this?
This is a disaster.
On par with your house getting flooded?
Worse.
Way worse.
I don't know what to do.
You're on the air right now.
Oh, thanks for telling me.
I was about to say something bad.
Dude, I have something even worse than whatever you were about to say.
You're back to senior draft analyst.
Stephen Che's data just came in for the NFL, and the data was wrong.
He had 270 wins.
274 wins, 270 losses.
The data is completely out of whack.
He's been demoted, and you're back up.
His data was – wait, the data was wrong?
Yes.
I found the error.
The data was wrong.
Can we give him the benefit of the doubt?
Can we double-check the data?
It's wrong.
We did. It's wrong. He did, and it's wrong.
We tried.
The files have been corrupted.
Did you make sure it wasn't a computer error?
We blamed the computer, yeah.
Nope, I found the error.
It was a computer error?
Well, Stephen is the computer, though.
Do you want to hear what the error was?
It is a computer?
Exactly.
He created it, so the buck stops at him.
So are you saying there's no other option right now other than to demote him?
I've already done it.
I demoted him.
It happened.
Yeah.
It had to happen.
Sorry to him.
I hate to have personal come-ups in this way, but it is what it is.
Congratulations, Caleb.
We'll send all the paperwork over. Okay. Thank you so much. I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm also, you know, it is what it is. Congratulations, Caleb. We'll send all the paperwork over.
Okay, thank you so much.
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm also, you know, it is what it is.
It is what it is.
Well said, brother.
It is what it is, man.
Thanks, man.
Jesus Christ.
I'm releasing a notes app right now.
We have to.
A notes app?
Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry, man.
It's a bad day.
Okay.
All right.
What's the mistake?
So it looks like for one of the error, or for two of them.
So there were two mistakes.
One, I put the winner of the game being the NY Giants, and one I put being the NY Jets.
What?
So it was human error.
Human error, correct.
Here we go.
God bless America.
Well, it just...
So what am I holding right now?
What is this for?
What the fuck is this?
Is this garbage?
Toilet tissue?
Is this toilet tissue?
Okay, I fixed it.
So on the plus side, the Jets gained one win and the Giants
gained one win. No one gained any additional losses.
So where do the losses
come from? So the Jets are 6-12
now?
The Jets are
6-11. The Giants
are also 6-11.
I'll
release an immediate question. That has to affect somebody
else, right?
It was Giants-Falcons?
So the Falcons got a loss.
So now the Falcons are 6-11.
This is going to reverberate throughout the entire league.
The shockwaves will be felt for years after this.
No, the formula shouldn't change like that.
The Falcons haven't bothered anybody.
You just gave them a loss for something
that happened in New York. What record do you have for the Falcons?
7-10, right? So now they're 7-11.
No, they're still 7-10. The formula
was correct. I made a clerical error.
How do we know that? Rowan, I'm flabbergasted.
Did the Eagles beat the Chiefs? Yep.
Everything's still the same. It's just I made a clerical error.
The Giants and Jets both gained one win
and removed a loss. So the Jets are now 6ical error. The Giants and Jets both gained one win and removed a loss.
So the Jets are now 6-11, and the Giants are 6-11 as well.
How the fuck did that happen?
I told you.
I typed NY Jets and NY Giants.
I should have just typed the regular name.
The regular name being Jets and Giants.
Jets and Giants, correct.
I still don't understand.
Did you type Jets and Giants on all their other 15 games?
All right, here it is.
Here comes Frank.
For immediate release, upon review of Stephen Che's 2021 NFL bold predictions,
a computer error has been found.
Unfortunately, because Stephen is the actual computer behind the data used for these predictions,
I have no choice but to demote
Steven Che back to junior draft analyst
I take no pleasure in this announcement
Please respect my decision
As it is technically data
Because I typed it out on my computer
Parentheses phone
Fair
Fair
Verbal signature Nick
Steven I'm sorry.
Let's ratify that bad boy.
I love you.
You know I love you, but I had no choice.
He'll earn it back.
He always does.
Before you do it, let's move to senor.
What?
You want to be senor?
Sorry, it's been done.
Sorry, it's been done.
Sorry.
It's been tweeted.
That's a shame.
It's a very big shame.
I don't really know where we go from here.
I mean, we don't finish out the playoffs.
We don't march through the rest of the season, do we?
I think we have to take the Yak live show.
I heard someone say they want to do another live show.
I think we need to take this show on the road to a local Best Buy
and have Stephen checked out
as if the Geek Squad is his doctor
giving him a full physical exam.
Every one of your ports.
You'd like that physically.
You'd probably get naked during it, wouldn't you?
Oh, Stephen.
You don't think you're in a spot to make jokes?
You're not in a spot to make jokes right now.
I'm heartbroken.
He's got a virus.
He's short-circuiting.
What do we do, Steven?
It's inconsequential to the grander scheme, but yes, it is an embarrassing error.
Frank is staring.
It doesn't affect any playoff teams or anything like that.
And that is why.
Well, no.
Where did those wins?
So what wins got changed?
So the Giants picked up a win
and the Jets picked up a win.
Who did they pick up a win against?
The Falcons and the...
The Falcons...
But the Falcons don't gain a loss.
Because you had the Falcons
lose already.
But you typed in NY Jets
and so it didn't calculate
towards the Jets
and the win column.
Correct.
Correct.
So it actually doesn't affect
anybody's losses.
Do you think this might have something to do with the fact that
all the data is technically human-made by yourself,
and that's where the error came from?
The data is the numbers that I don't affect,
but yes, I made a clerical error at Fat Fingers.
The data is the numbers.
I don't really think it's fat fingers if you
wrote out New York Giants and New York Jets.
Wait, what does that say?
Don't you give me 20 push-ups, big boy?
Oh!
I'm going to do the push-ups, fine, but
you can't fat finger New York Jets and New York Giants.
Actually, no. Today is the last day that you can do the push-ups
because the NFL season has not started.
The deal was through until the start of the season.
It's the start of the season today.
Dropping me 20.
I'm going to give him.
I got it.
I like it, Steven.
Still doesn't explain that you can't fat finger.
You picked the Bucs to win six wins last year.
You can't fat finger New York Giants and New York Jets.
They won the Super Bowl.
Even when Steven's at his lowest, he's still higher than Brandon.
That's right.
I fucking love it.
I love it.
Oh, man.
I'm heartbroken. Yeah. is a word I would use.
Yes.
We should all open our Venmos.
What should we do?
I mean, our computer's completely broken.
Should we predict this?
Let's get Pete in here.
Yeah, we need Pete to check out the chat.
Or someone in tech.
Let's have Andrew look up Steve's asshole and see if he can find
out what's wrong inside there.
This day is the worst.
Is there something
up your asshole, Jay?
I pooped earlier today,
so probably not.
Oh, of course.
Might as well check, though.
Might as well check
under the hood.
Check under the bonnet.
I love that this is,
I mean, this is great
because this gives
Dadaday just a whole new life. Well, a blemish, really. I mean, this is great because this gives Dataday just a whole new
life. Well, a blemish, really. I mean,
if he fucks it up next year, we might have to discontinue
Dataday. Well, Dataday was wrong last year,
too, right? Billy got a fish. Billy got a fish.
Yeah, we got a fish. New gambling fish. Wait, was
Dataday wrong last year? Because we said re-crunch
them, re-crunch them, and he did, and it changed,
right? Oh, God.
Was last year the year that I had to eat the
sheet? I think so.
You had to eat all that
data? That's how it goes
back in. That's just input.
That's just a data input.
But wait, hold on. Very actual serious
announcement is that I have a very exciting
day-to-day
parlay.
Nice try.
If you like all my division winners, which were not affected by this clerical error.
But they were.
No, they weren't.
Yes, because, all right, so it's a butterfly effect.
Tell me what the Jets, who did the Jets beat?
No.
No, that is.
Who did the Jets beat?
Nick, can you explain?
So I have the formula I have for loss.
No, no, no.
Answer me this question.
Who did you have?
The Jets.
Where did the Jets pick up a win?
I'll see.
But basically.
I need that answer.
It's inconceivable.
No, it isn't.
I'll tell you why.
It's a butterfly effect.
No, it's not.
I'll tell you why.
Because the losses formula is 17 minus the wins.
So if I just neglected to put the appropriate amount of wins in,
which I did because I put NY Jets
instead of Jets,
then it evens out.
So the Jets lost.
We take one loss away from the Jets
and add a win.
Where is the loss?
It matters.
So much.
It matters. It's a fat finger. It's a fat finger. It matters. So much. It matters.
It's a fat finger.
It's a fat finger.
It matters.
So the Giants game was Atlanta on 9-26.
So you had them as losing to Atlanta,
now they've beaten Atlanta.
Wait, he said the Giants was Atlanta.
I had the Giants beating Atlanta the whole time,
but I had the NY Giants beating Atlanta
when it should have just read the Giants.
And the Jets was the Titans on 9-3.
But the Titans do not accrue.
The Titans and Falcons are unaffected by this.
Oh, division winner?
Are the Browns 11-6 or 12-5?
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
Steven.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
11-6.
All right.
Block says 12 and 5.
Okay.
I did everything very fast.
You had all year.
That's a fair point.
But you want to wait
until the most recent stuff happens.
Maybe Starburning Back
gets a case of murder.
By the way,
today's shirt is definitely
the data is the numbers. The data is the numbers. That's a case of murder by the way today's shirt is definitely the data is the
number the data is the numbers that's a fact every time every time it just makes me so uncomfortable
sad let's just quickly let's wrap up the show let's talk about the browns in the in the bucks
super bowl wow that's a great super bowl you don't think so no yeah no i do talk to me about it okay i mean the browns are built for the playoffs they got a great running Bowl. You don't think so? No, yeah, no, I do. Talk to me about it.
Okay, I mean, the Browns are built for the playoffs.
They got a great running game.
Who did they beat in the playoffs?
Oh, let's see.
Give me the Browns' path to the Super Bowl.
So the Browns are the three seed.
So they will play.
Uh-oh.
They'll play the winner of.
They'll play. The Patriots. They'll play the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
No, no, no, no.
What?
You said they'd play the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
I said they'll play the Patriots in the first round.
No, you said they'd play the Patriots in the Super Bowl.
Sorry.
They'll play the Browns-Patriots in the wild card round.
Okay.
They will then advance to the divisional round
Okay
They will play
Uh oh
What was that?
What was that, Jay?
I have no idea
Jay, what was that noise?
Was KB making some noise?
So then they would play the Chiefs
Oh, it wasn't, his mouth was closed
They play the Patriots, then the Chiefs, and then the Bills
If it goes chalk If it goes chalk, correct Does it? Oh, it was, and his mouth was closed. They play the Patriots, then the Chiefs, and then the Bills.
If it goes chalk.
If it goes chalk, correct.
Does it?
I don't do the playoffs.
I just do the final outstanding. How did you get there?
You do all the regular season.
Wait, if you don't do the playoffs, how did you get the Super Bowl game?
He runs out of data.
I do the Super Bowl.
I do the Super Bowl.
He runs out of data.
But you don't do the playoffs.
You skip the playoffs and go to the Super Bowl?
Correct. Why?
It's a lot.
Even with the mistakes. The schedule for the playoffs
is not finite yet.
How is it not?
You can make it finite with your data.
I guess I could.
It wasn't in what I originally pulled.
It doesn't input
into the...
You created it!
That's correct.
It doesn't.
You don't.
Here. Okay. Here's why.
Because it wouldn't be data because I'm not
calculating those wins and losses.
What?
But how do you get to the Super Bowl
without calculating those wins and losses?
I basically took a shortcut. That's the answer. But Super Bowl without calculating those wins and losses? I basically took a shortcut.
That's the answer.
But I wouldn't put the wins and losses into the –
because then what if you saw Tampa Bay with 17 wins?
That doesn't make sense.
But shouldn't there be a second program for the playoffs?
Yeah.
There could be.
It'll be a future request for next year.
If there even is a next year.
We just do the whole data for the regular season,
then we just go, and then, so, like,
you have a formula data for the regular season.
Correct.
Then we get to the playoffs,
and you just decide who goes to the Super Bowl?
Well, he should be able to re-crunch.
Did you hear him say correct?
You're correct.
The regular season is data.
The playoffs is just your arbitrary decision.
That's fair.
Well, congrats to the Bucs for going back to back.
We got to the end.
That's the perfect ending.
That is the perfect ending.
Doesn't disappoint.
I don't know how it doesn't disappoint.
Seriously, Steven, we will be 80 years old,
and I will call you up on the day of the first game of the NFL season,
and we will do this on like a call together because I love this day so much.
Yeah, I'll continue to do these for the rest of my life probably.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Yeah, I think I would have been really upset if it affected a playoff team,
but based on the fail-safe, so I think Roan is asking before
why I don't do a formula for the losses column that is like a sum
if it's like the wins column.
Correct.
And this is to protect against.
This is kind of like a surge protector.
Did you just say the fail-safe and surge protector?
What's the fail-safe?
It's that no other teams got affected, so I made, obviously, a clerical error.
He isolated the fail-safe.
The fail-safe is just that it was lucky that it didn't affect it.
No, but the fact that I made this typo that led to a bigger error only affected that team.
Yes, I isolated the error.
Beautiful.
All right. We'll see you next year.
Thank you, Steven.
I appreciate it.
Data Day, thank you everyone for tuning in.
We'll see you tomorrow.
Is everyone here tomorrow?
Yeah.
All right.
Let's have a Friday tomorrow. I might not be. I might not be. Oh, maybe a smoothie? Should we do a smoothie? You want a smoothie in. We'll see you tomorrow. Is everyone here tomorrow? Yeah. All right. Let's have a Friday tomorrow.
I might not be.
Oh, maybe a smoothie?
Should we do a smoothie?
You want a smoothie?
I'll do a smoothie tomorrow.
Let's do a smoothie tomorrow.
All right.
See everyone tomorrow.
Bet the day-to-day parlay on the Barstool Sportsbook.
See you tomorrow.
See you tomorrow. We'll see you next time. It's the act