The Yak - Forget Train Videos... We're Doing Drain Videos | The Yak 11-30-21

Episode Date: December 2, 2021

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. Core members only. Core Yak guys only. I'm missing the legend. That's the original six, is it not? The original six is what we call us.
Starting point is 00:00:42 We're like Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg, the two Winklevosses, and then the two first girls he faced off against one another on the Facebook. That's right. That's us. I'm both Winklevosses in this scenario. Fuck. I thought we were the Bruins, the Red Wings, the Maple Leafs? Yep.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Oh, the original six. Yeah, the... The Rangers? Who, the Canadiens? It's got to be the Canadiens. Were the Canadiens in the original six? Original six. Flyers? No, not Flyers.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Bruins? I think Bruins, yes. I'm from Boston on this show, unfortunately. It's a shame. I'm from Boston. Bro, put some respect on my name. Oh, I forgot. I thought you were a Philly guy, bro.
Starting point is 00:01:24 I am. At, I forgot. I thought you were a Philly guy, bro. I am. At heart. Yeah. You're Eagles, Phillies, Penn State, Vikings. What could possibly make that much of a difference? I don't know. What could possibly make that much of a difference? I don't know what it could be.
Starting point is 00:01:37 It sounds like the whole building is coming down. The Bruins, the Blackhawks, the Red Wings, the Canadians, the Rangers, and the Maple Leafs. So we got them. You think Chicago turned out how they hoped it would? No. I think they're very happy with the way it turned out. Really? Yeah, I really do.
Starting point is 00:01:51 I don't know if they should. I'm just saying I think they're very pleased with the way it turned out. A fun fact about Chicago is they're one of the only, if not the only city with garages. Car holes. Yes. That is true. That is a fun fact. I can't believe it. But they really thought they did something when they made Chicago. They really did. They thought they fucking
Starting point is 00:02:15 snapped when they made Chicago. They kind of did though. They kind of snapped, but I think in the back of their mind, they thought it was going to be something bigger than it was. When it was part of the original six, that was like, oh, we're going to put a hockey franchise here before everything, before anywhere. Yeah, but you know how the original six, they thought they were the swinging dicks.
Starting point is 00:02:35 They looked down on Boston back then. That's what I mean, and I think they thought that they were going to kind of rise to this level of supremacy, and sure, it's Midwestern supremacy. Does Montreal still belong in that six? No. I'm not sure in that six? No. I'm not sure Montreal really panned out. You don't think so? Except for the prostitutes.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah, the prostitutes. We get Lenny Balls in here. The wishy-washies in Montreal. We'll leave Lenny Balls on the fucking shelf. Do you guys see this guy's vlog set up? It's on his shoulder. He's got a camera attached to his shoulder. It's a live stream.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Oh, he's live streaming Twitch. So's got a camera attached to his shoulder. It's a live stream. Oh, he's live streaming Twitch. So it's a computer, basically, he's holding. For the sake of sensitivity, what's his name? I have no idea. I think it's Arab. I think his name's just Arab. Oh, is that who that is? Is it A-R-Ab, maybe?
Starting point is 00:03:19 I think it might be A-R-Ab. If that's who that is, it's Arab. Yeah, that's who that is. Is he a big streamer? Yeah. He's just coming in here dunking on us on some IRL shit. TJ, how was the Rutgers game? It was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:03:32 You went into that with a clear head, nothing bothering you? All things considered, a good day. It looked awesome. It was awesome. I appreciate the hospitality from the fam over at Rutgers. Ron knows that environment well. We stormed over there. What did Ron Harper go for last night, 23-9?
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yep. That boy's fucking good. Is he the son of the? Yes. Oh. Five-time NBA champion. Five-time NBA champion. I'll be.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Is that right? Three with the Bulls and two with the Lakers. How was that? What was that? That was awesome. He was doing Booker T. Oh, is that what? That was awesome. He was doing Booker T. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, he was doing Booker T.
Starting point is 00:04:08 It was good. I didn't know you were a wrestling guy. Did you get turned out to wrestling by expression? Well, he looks like I'm in Booker T. There we go. That's a joke on Troops TV. They call me little Booker T. They love wrestling.
Starting point is 00:04:21 I grew up a massive wrestling fan. Did you really? Yeah. Can you give Sass and KB one five-time? Five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW champion. Can you do a Spinneroni? I used to be able to. I'm too fat now.
Starting point is 00:04:37 I clocked the scale at 163 pounds the other day. Oh, you're fat a little bit. That's the heaviest I've ever been in my life. You have Spider by 53 pounds. Yeah, that a lot. Wow. What the fuck? You did look stout as a running back.
Starting point is 00:04:54 Honestly, there's definitely been NFL players who weighed less than you. Who is that really light guy? Donnell Pumphrey? He was like 140 pounds. Less than 163 pounds in NFL play? I'm sure there's cornerbacks that are a little lighter. Donnell Pumphrey was less. Or fucking Devontae Smith damn near.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Yeah. I remember Rice had a little running back, about 4'5". Well, how much does Tyreek Hill weigh? No, you're right. That guy was tiny. Oh, my God. How the fuck did you remember that? I remember short running.
Starting point is 00:05:24 They had a 4'5 running back. I don't remember his name, but he was ridiculous. I wouldn't even be in the top 50 shortest Division I FBS running backs. I looked at every roster. Wow. Every roster right now? You looked at every roster for that? Not even historically?
Starting point is 00:05:40 I would just scan in the heights. Historically or just now? Right now, Roan. Jesus Christ. In the present tense. Holy fuck. Yeah, dude. They sneak tiny guys onto football teams.
Starting point is 00:05:52 But this one was exceptionally tiny. Four or five? Can we pull up his highlight? Jason Carter with a Y. Jason Carter. Was he stout? He was 4'9", 140 pounds. Did he start?
Starting point is 00:06:03 No. He played. He got one of those homecoming special needs plays. You're right. He got a special carry in the Hawaii Bowl. Why do you know all this? I hope he's doing well. Kyle, if you ditched some of the knowledge you had, you could probably learn Mandarin.
Starting point is 00:06:23 That's a fact. That's easily a fact. I kind of want to watch a little bit of him. I don't know if he's got highlights. A little bit. I want to watch everything he has to offer. I saw a trick play yesterday. You always have the interstate.
Starting point is 00:06:38 In Hawaii. The players, they all knew each other from high school. You're going to be able to tell which one he is. He's obscured. Oh, God. Look at him. Not quite.
Starting point is 00:06:50 I thought he burst it for a touchdown or something. Oh, no. They helped him out. Oh, man. God. Oh. Don't feel bad for him. He ate in high school.
Starting point is 00:06:59 He, like, earned his walk on. Yeah, he definitely was a beast in high school. There's no doubt in my mind. He was Texas 13A Division 4 state champion. His first carry was for negative yards? Uh, yeah. His only carry. Was that his only? It wasn't like
Starting point is 00:07:14 too pathetic, though. No. It didn't really help him much. But that's why when people are like, I could get a fucking yard if you just put me in there. No, you fucking couldn't. Those hypotheticals are... Who did we just pan to? I don't know, but the security guy's just over there eating. People are always like,
Starting point is 00:07:28 did you catch that pass? Like, no, I wouldn't catch that pass. I think the worst... The people who say they can make a basket in the NBA. Yeah, or, dude, there was a... Oh, just heave it up. I think the worst one is the people who think they can get a hit in Major League Baseball.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Yeah, the Philly media guy, Elliot Shore-Parks, he was like, I could luck into a home run. A home run? What? You can't. You absolutely can't. You didn't hit a home run at any level, and you're not about to luck into a home run.
Starting point is 00:07:55 If I got a foul tip after 100 pitches, I would be excited. Yeah, I would be overjoyed. It would hurt my hands. Yeah, every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands. And that's with anything. Golf club, hockey stick. When you would hurt my hands. Every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands. And that's with anything. Golf club. Hockey stick. When did you talk about your hands?
Starting point is 00:08:10 They're feeble. Did you see everybody dropping back yesterday? I love the replies. Oh, it's perfect bait. I intentionally had bad form for the algorithm. Yeah, thank you. I saw you. You did one with perfect, like, perfect form,
Starting point is 00:08:25 and we were like, no, no, no. No, that won't work. That's not it at all, Nick. But that's really what had me thinking that Zoc would actually... What a bunch of bozos in this office. I love how, like, from the commenter's perspective,
Starting point is 00:08:36 they're mad that we're not athletic because we work for a sports company. Zoc, though! Zoc climbed the pocket! Zoc! Bob Fox Trent Happy these look like that actor
Starting point is 00:08:52 that was throwing on that that show the movie someone pushed that in the applause so funny Ebony driving it back
Starting point is 00:09:00 she just bounced she had a little Mahomes wrist action to her of course he throws with the left hand yeah what was that that had a little Mahomes wrist action to her. Of course, he throws with the left hand. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:08 What was that? That's a little carry-up. The release. Oh, that was quick. Off the back foot, though. And that's fucking... That wasn't bad. Oh, that's too serious. Look at him climb the pocket.
Starting point is 00:09:24 That's not bad. Oh, that's too serious. Look at him climb the pocket. That's a climb. Oh, shit. Yes. Fuck, yeah. Lenny's was pretty good. Based off of what knowledge? Just his form looks better than everyone else's. I think Gravity just did the work on his.
Starting point is 00:09:43 We got to do a part two. That was bad. You guys never played quarterback. Play the baseball one. I think Gravity just did the work on his. We got to do a part two. That was bad. You guys never played quarterback. Play the baseball one. I love that one. Yeah, everybody swings. That's the one where you were shockingly good, right? Yeah, it was nice.
Starting point is 00:09:52 That's why I love it. Sneaky athlete. I got to do more of those. I got to think of, give me like kind of a big. Just do some crossovers. Like golf swing or like fucking free throw form. Or heavy bag. Yeah, punch, punch, head hitting a heavy bag. Yeah, punch, punch, hitting a heavy bag.
Starting point is 00:10:05 That's fucking good. How'd that do on the talk? Better on Twitter than on the talk, to be honest. I should have put it at part two, part three. We're getting bogged down in analytics, though. I got to fucking beat that algorithm like fucking Rocky, bro.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I will, though. I'm going to beat the fuck out of that algorithm. You're still riding that high from the Lettuce Club video? Oh, bro. How many views did that end up getting? Two billion That's not a joke Everyone saw it
Starting point is 00:10:32 Everybody in the world Everyone on earth Everyone saw it Strangely That Mr. Beast video got like 110 million views in like a day Wow Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance? Yes Look at this That ain't bad Like a day. Wow. Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance?
Starting point is 00:10:47 Yes. Okay. Look at this. That ain't bad. And he works at Barstool Sports, dude. That's a little waggle. You can tell what time this is because of Sass's sweater. So that's anywhere between early 2020 and early 2021. Guard in that strike zone.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Choked up. He's got a bunt. Oh, no. Just swung like that. That was for average. Dugs. I remember Dugs. See Dugs in a minute.
Starting point is 00:11:27 Bang. There you go, Brandon. Some serious power there. I'm a great player. Nice. Nice, Nick. Look at this. Run it again.
Starting point is 00:11:38 Look when you were skinny. You weren't eating back then. No. Put on a good 40 pounds since then. Straight to the stomach. Show your stomach. Yeah. I was saying to Rowan that I'm 80% stomach right now.
Starting point is 00:11:51 I don't think that's true. He's dwarfed by stomach. You have body dysmorphia. Because sometimes you think you're jacked, and then sometimes you think you're fat. I know, but the body dysmorphia where you think you're jacked is a lot more fun. He's walking around confident. He's bipolar, which is sweet, which is dope. I fucking love my bipolar homies.
Starting point is 00:12:13 When you ask for a chain check, I put my camera on timer mode and did like 30 shirtless with the chain on. Really? Why didn't you send it? I have body dysmorphia. When I look in the mirror at my shirtless body, I'm like, I'm jacked. But when I look at a picture, it's not quite there. Your dysmorphia has basis, though. If you look at lowering the bar from around this time last year, you had a puffy face.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Yeah, I was fat. But why did you have to have a fucking jacked picture to send to the three of us doing a chain share? Just in case you posted it on something. A, you did a torso reveal on here in a day that we weren't in. But I took five screenshots of it that day. And you looked jacked that day. Yeah, you look really jacked. And it wasn't mirror.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Shirtless and jeans is near impossible to pull off. And you did it. Yeah, you had no muffin. You had no muffin. You didn't have a belly button. I disagree with that. I think shirtless in jeans makes you look better than you really are shirtless. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:13:11 I think the jeans makes you look better. Ken Jack had this theory. The hardest look to pull off for a man is shirt, no pants. Winnie the Pooh. You can't look cool, and you can't look jacked. You have to have a real long, skinny one. You got to have a ribbon penis. You can't look cool You can't look jacked It's just Sure Yeah you You have to have
Starting point is 00:13:26 A real long skinny one You gotta have A ribbon penis That's just dangling Flapping in the wind Cause too thick That's damning What'd you guys
Starting point is 00:13:37 What's that Spotify rap Look like for you boys Sass we saw yours Yeah Posted it Had to Had to Salute Mine was the exact same as last year.
Starting point is 00:13:47 All the same artists. Really? Yeah. What was your voice? All the same? All the same. Mine was fucked up because my kids also use mine. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:55 My outcast didn't show up this year. It's always outcast number one, but this year it was George Strait and Dixie Chicks because my daughter listens to mine now. Yeah, I saw that. If you use Alexa, too, it can, like, fuck up your... If someone in your family uses, like, Alexa, it happened to my sister. It, like, fucked up her. So, like, she's got, like, John Denver and James Taylor as her number one.
Starting point is 00:14:14 Outrageous. She doesn't listen to them. That's your number one anyway, right? No. My number one was a band. The lead singer's a goblin. Actual goblin. Hey, what about the trio from Canada?
Starting point is 00:14:26 My number one's a band Called Necro Goblicon Sounds cool No Look I wish we could play some We just simply can't What was yours Ron? Who is the trio from Canada You told me about?
Starting point is 00:14:38 Rush? Haim? No No it's a It's a boy band Oh yeah B4-4 B4-4 Yeah B-4-4.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Yeah, I love those guys, too. Are they three-year-olds? No, no, no. That's why they're called that. Why? Because there's three of them. Two of them are twins. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:14:55 And one of them's a bad boy. He's always giving the finger. One of the twins is a bad boy? Yes. That's how you have to separate yourself. I didn't know if one of the third guys, if the third guy was the bad boy. No.
Starting point is 00:15:07 The suggested song for the beginning of the year, I tweeted it, is like, it's that Suck Your Own Dick song. When did we, did we play that on here? It was a Friday vibe. Oh, yeah. If you want to be slick, you got to suck your own dick. That one. I don't know how that. You talked about.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Suck Your Own Dick? The wall, the mural behind us. Oh, yeah. Oh, fuck. You and the boss will be covered in murals. I miss that mural. Yeah, fuck. What did they do with that? Just burn it? Paint it over it? Paint it over it? Really?
Starting point is 00:15:38 Why? Why would they have to burn it? I don't know. This wall wouldn't be here if they burn it. Serious? Jesus Christ. That's louder than the last. Boys, they're just doing their jobs. What do you want them to do? What is their job? Building a railroad?
Starting point is 00:15:52 Is that John Henry up there? Do you think they're purposely trying to annoy us? No, I don't think that. I am curious of what makes that rumble. From what I've seen upstairs, it looks like they're just building out one tiny little area. So I don't know why the whole building would be shaking. That sounds like destruction right there, not construction. Are you a stoic, KB?
Starting point is 00:16:11 Shit doesn't bother you, huh? You could just be eating your little baguette at a bistro. Someone could open fire and you'd be like, they're just shooting. Let me just fucking live. Well, yeah, let me live my last days. Are you a stoic? No. You might be a stoic.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I feel like being a stoic is popular as fuck right now. Nah, Taoism is the new thing. Really? Maybe I'm missing the wave by a notch on stoicism because I think that I've seen a lot of people talking about the way of the stoic and quoting Marcus Aurelius and shit. Like he's a hot new fucking name. Strong, silent type.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Yeah. So you are a fucking stoic, bro. You been reading Aurelius? Edie Falco and Michael Imperioli are Hindus, I think. On God? On Vishnu? On Vishnu.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Holy fuck. I could get into Hinduism. They got that shit figured out. Also, Indian folk have their religion figured out. What are they into? Hinduism. Hinduism? That's Hinduism. All Indian folk?
Starting point is 00:17:14 But India has so many religions. Yeah. Thousands there. And castes. I guess they don't have a lot of castes. There's a lot of people in India. Yeah. We give China credit for all the people they have.
Starting point is 00:17:25 But India's got a shit ton, too. India's normalized the one rupee street massage, which needs to come here quick. We need to get the one rupee street massage stat. What is it? They just rub you down and nobody bats an eye. What do you mean? Yeah, I saw that on YouTube. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:41 The one rupee street massage? And you are very close to being hit by cars. They lay you right down in the street. Can I see it? Can we pull it up on YouTube. Yeah. The one rupee street massage. And you are very close to being hit by cars. They lay you right down in the street. Can I see it? Can we pull it up on YouTube? It's YouTube videos of the one rupee street massage? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:50 I think this might be in the same vein as the ostrich video. This might get us taken down. You strip? That's fine. No, you don't strip. Do you have to strip?
Starting point is 00:17:57 No. I think they'll copyright claim our stream, though. What do they... Do you get a back rub? Are you just clothed? They always tug your arms. Are there any little delis?
Starting point is 00:18:08 Like little Mumbai's? Are there any Indian neighborhoods in the city? Jamaica Queens is very Indian. New New Delhi? Jamaican Queens? Jamaica Queens? Jamaican Queens. My mind is on Jamaican Queens and wife and wife.
Starting point is 00:18:23 Cuffing one up. Wife and wife. You do need a Jamaican queen. You could be a white yardie. Indians are chill as fuck. Indians? Yeah, they're like family wide walks at like midnight. I like how they cut in line like it's nobody's business.
Starting point is 00:18:40 They'll just stand in front of you in line and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you. Is that a negative stereotype? Sounds like it. Is it front of you in line, and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you. Is that a negative stereotype? Sounds like it. Is it? Cutting in line? Did that just happen to you once? Yeah. No, this is all Indians.
Starting point is 00:18:53 I like how Indians cut in line. This is all high five from us. I cut in line. You wanted us to sign off on it, too. I'm a line cutter. I don't know if that's a stereotype. I'm a habitual line cutter. I'll, like, cut someone off in traffic.
Starting point is 00:19:04 And then you get cut off once, and you put it on the whole Indian people? I'm saying I if that's a stereotype. I'm a habitual line cutter. I'll cut someone off in traffic. And then you get cut off once and you put it on the whole Indian people? I'm saying I admire that trait. If there's a line in the airport and there's a break and somebody's lunching, fucking not paying attention, I'll get right in that line. So you're an asshole. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But I don't think it's an asshole quality.
Starting point is 00:19:20 I think it's an efficient quality and you take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention. And I respect that. I think in traffic you can do it. I take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention, and I respect that. I think in traffic you can do it. I'm not sure you can do it on foot. Watch me. Yeah, go cut today. I'll cut anybody. I'll cut myself.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Watch me. I admire it as a trait. An emo kid just intentionally going to the back of the line. Oh, man. I heard a battle rap line this weekend. A guy said that he's got coke so white that it cuts itself. Damn. I'm dying.
Starting point is 00:19:53 That's a bar. That's a fucking bar. Owen, are you on antibiotics today, my dog? No, but I was sick this weekend. Fuck. Yeah. What flavor? I don't know they just said it wasn't covid the flu or strep so they just said that seems like what we say that's what i think
Starting point is 00:20:13 yeah that's what we say now when we get sick we don't say what it is we say it's not covid yeah and it's way more respectable even though it's probably we no longer say what what our actual sickness is yeah you observation roasting him yeah you definitely heard that shit at the fucking uh the cellar one night or something one observation what i can try what did i hear at the cellar bro some a joke like brandon's i did no but i actually do agree that is very true yes i also agree that it's very true people don't give a fuck what you have unless you have COVID. When it could be equally contagious. Sash, your pants are depressingly wrinkled.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah, I know. I didn't really know that until I came in. But this angle, they don't look too bad. Can we get a zoom? When they were on the floor, they looked more wrinkled. They look real. It's specifically this one. That leg is wrinkled.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Where was it? Where'd you get those? Where you been? Oh, they were in my room. Oh, that's bad room Oh, that's bad Oh, that's fucked Are they stinky? KB, smell them
Starting point is 00:21:08 No, they're not I smelled them before Smell the base Sass's room has I looked this up 3% of all Jack Link's Beef jerky bags You've been there
Starting point is 00:21:18 Now I'm off the jerky You're off Well, yeah They're just still there Yeah Because you've eaten all of it I know There just is no more jerky
Starting point is 00:21:24 I didn't realize that Beef jerky has, like, ridiculous amounts of sodium in it. Sure, no sodium, yeah. Really? Yeah. How did you not know that? I don't know. How do you think they jerky it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:21:33 How do you think that they preserve meat? I mean, I've come to a conclusion that, like, everything good has just a ton of sodium in it. You've been coming to too many conclusions. Yeah, I know. Rethinking a lot of stuff. Was it definitely a conclusion? Was it a realization? It was both.
Starting point is 00:21:47 What was your hypothesis before resulting that it didn't have a lot of sodium in it and it was proven wrong? Dude, what about a saltless turkey? It's got like 3,000 grams of sodium. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:58 110% of your daily in like one stick. Rowan's always got biltong on deck. Yeah. I keep a biltong tree in my backyard. I fucking make it fresh. I'll just slap some fresh meat up there.
Starting point is 00:22:09 And you can biltong anything. Can you biltong anything? You can biltong any meat. I don't know what that word is. It's just meat dried in the sun that you throw in a tree. Am I lying? Zah, what's biltong, Zah? How would you classify it?
Starting point is 00:22:22 It's, I guess, our version of jerky, but a little healthier. So it's pretty much just straight up salt. How do you know it's healthier? Because we don't put anything but salt on it. Salt and you just dry it. And what do you just like hang it in the tree? Yeah, you just put a brick of salt, a fist of salt on the meat, and you just put it on top of your roof for like a week.
Starting point is 00:22:41 You just lay it on the roof. Like a solar panel. Tacos and Titties official is sending us hats. Yes! There's an account that KB follows called Tacos and Titties.
Starting point is 00:22:51 Tacos and Titties official. Give them a follow. How many followers do they have? Tell them I sent you. What's this payola? This payola shit. Are you doing payola right now?
Starting point is 00:23:00 I ain't doing payola. It sounds like payola. It sounds like somebody's jamming money in your pocket so you can eat. They're next up. Are they? How many followers do they have? 1,400.
Starting point is 00:23:11 Not enough. 1,400? 2,700. Let's get them to 3K. This is Instagram, not Twitter? It's Instagram. Let's show equal love to the tacos and the titties. Yes.
Starting point is 00:23:21 And I've noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post. I did like the titties. For every titty post Kyle likes, he likes two taco posts. And that's what you noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post. I did like the titty. For every titty post Kyle likes, he likes two taco posts. And that's what you do. It's like when you
Starting point is 00:23:29 cut down a tree. I just follow tacos and titties. Follow for the best tacos and best titties. Then they're not wrong. Do you guys want to try and play the game?
Starting point is 00:23:37 Tacos look... These are great tacos. You want to play the game? You're not going to talk about the titties? Oh, yeah. So me and Kyle play this game called
Starting point is 00:23:44 Tacos or Titties. You click one, you have to guess which. Oh, yeah. I want to play that. Well, those not going to talk about the titties? Oh, yeah. So me and Kyle play this game called Tacos or Titties. You click one, and you have to guess which. Oh, yeah. I want to play that. Well, those are tacos. That's tacos, yeah. Boy, there's some curveballs. That's titties.
Starting point is 00:23:53 That is indeed titties. But the titties aren't the focal point. Anis Paul had sent me. Yeah, we talk about tacos and titties a lot. But we did find something. Look at that. Neither. And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Oh, wow. That's just queso. And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while. Oh, wow. That's just queso. And that's quesadilla. Oh, that's a taco bowl. It's a great looking meal. There is something we need to get to the bottom of. And Kyle, should we do it right now? Yeah, I think we can.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Click on the third post. Fourth now. Fourth. Oh, fifth. Fifth. Yeah, mesita. And why don't you go ahead and scroll right. This has been my favorite page, my favorite niche page for years.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Go again. That's Frankie Borelli. What's he doing on Talkies and Titties Official? Dude, I know. I know. And now you see he's on Talkies and Titties Official. Should we get him in? I invented them.
Starting point is 00:24:41 I founded them. Everybody's tagged, but Frankie's on it. I think he untagged himself from Tacos and Titties. Can you go get Frankie? And can you scroll away and not tell him what we're doing and kind of let him come to that conclusion on his own? So that was a little twist we found on Tacos and Titties official. That there's Frankie.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Have you guys ever seen Ass Galaxy? Ass Galaxy? And it's like pictures of ass and pictures of astronauts. And you have to kind of pick which one. Is it like super zoomed in? No, it's just kind of like this. It's just like a picture of John Glenn or a picture of a bulbous ass. And it's a similar concept.
Starting point is 00:25:16 I didn't realize that there's kind of a subsect of crossover accounts that have a little bit of knowledge or foodie stuff and a little bit of titties or a little bit of ass, a little TNA. We should do a yak Instagram where it's either a yak quote or just a picture of a pussy.
Starting point is 00:25:35 A gate. Just fully spread. Yeah, that sounds real nice. Wait, so how are we going to play this Borelli thing? We're going to show him. Just ask if he's ever seen the page. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:25:49 Did they start on the page or the picture? Let's see the page first. Okay. Just have the page up. We'll just randomly have the page up. Yeah. He's going to have to fucking answer. He's going to have to answer some shit for this.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Also, big homo. Homeowner. He's a big homeowner. Oh, yeah. He's going to have to answer some shit for this. Also, big homo. Homeowner. He's a big homeowner. he is. He's a huge homeowner. He just bought a house. Yeah. He just bought a fucking
Starting point is 00:26:12 fat, big house, walk-in closet. 0.5 acres. Where is it at? Jacuzzi in the backyard. What's the address? No Borelli.
Starting point is 00:26:20 No Borelli? He's probably chilling at his house. He honestly probably is chilling at his house. A fucking nice-ass house. Do you hear this? Frankie Borelli has a fucking jacuzzi in his backyard.
Starting point is 00:26:31 He's sitting on a fucking half acre, and he's got a walk-in closet. Did he get handed the house? I don't like that. No, he grinded his ass off and lived at home. Homeowner. Yeah. Homeowner. Jim Parsons.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Oh, fuck. No, I can't wait to go to Frankie's place. I'm going to bring a bunch of wands if I want to sip of water. Housewarming. We're going to have a housewarming party for Frankie Borelli at his house. And it's going to be fantastic. I'm just going to keep looking at the tacos. Yeah, I guess we can pull the count back up.
Starting point is 00:27:11 We're not going to switch. They need more taco engagement. No, no, no. TJ, we need more taco engagement. Feedback on the taco. That's not a taco. Do their titty posts do better than their taco? That's a queso fundido. We have noticed that the titties do perform better than the taco. That's not a taco. There was no titties in that. Did their titty posts do better than their taco? That's a queso fundido.
Starting point is 00:27:26 So we have noticed that the titties do perform better than the tacos. We've been monitoring the growth of the account. That's the titties, for example. But here we have the tacos. No comments. Wait, wait. What's your guys' favorite taco? The burritos.
Starting point is 00:27:40 So their first post, would you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty? Well, that's a taco. Well, that's not their first post. I you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty? Well, that's a taco. Well, that's not their first post. I'd say taco. How far back are they? I'd say it starts with a taco. It starts with a taco, as it should. It starts with tacos.
Starting point is 00:27:53 I've seen a lot of ass, which is where it's throwing me off. Well, the ass is the titties. That was definitely ass right there, yes. Now that. I'm seeing a lot of just only ass. And the butthole is the nipple of the back. Yes, that's right The areola
Starting point is 00:28:06 Areola A lot of birria wow Easy on the birria Maybe a little mahi You can tell You can see the stage where they had to overcome some adversity It's just a black box They did post a black square
Starting point is 00:28:20 They did post a black square That's the first post. That's not even a great picture of tacos. They could have turned the orientation, but that's definitely their picture. That's a homemade picture. They were so excited about those. This was March 25th, 2020. How'd they go out to a restaurant?
Starting point is 00:28:37 You haven't been following them for years. Yeah, but I was... When they were founded, I was... I stamped it. So right when COVID started, they decided to start a Tacos and Titties account. That's what they need. What do the hats look like? They were confused with the orientation, but as was I with my own until I followed this path.
Starting point is 00:28:54 You sorted it all out. After seeing one taco, you realize you were gay. My favorite part is you would go into a Tacos and Titties account expecting to see some senoritas, some Latina queens and their titties. No, it's only white women. It's only white women on the Tacos and Titties. And then when we first followed it, it was just Tacos and Titties. But then a few unofficial accounts started popping up. Yeah, now they had to add official to the name.
Starting point is 00:29:23 And so this is the official Tacos and Titties account. There are unofficial accounts? popping up. Yeah, now they had to add official to the name. What do you mean? And so this is the official Tacos and Titties account. There are unofficial accounts? There are fake accounts, yes. They were stealing valor out here? Brandon, do you follow them? I just did. They all did. I just did.
Starting point is 00:29:35 I'm going to throw them a follow right now. I announced it when I did it. Oh, they're about to be at 3K. What do their hats look like, though? I think... Wearable? Or were you just... Does it have a picture of tacos or titties?
Starting point is 00:29:46 I think it just says tacos and titties. That's what my guess would be. I might have to make them a new logo. I'd like to get two hats. One taco, one titty. What should the tacos and titties logo be? Wow, you're the logo guy. Tacos shaped like titties?
Starting point is 00:30:00 A busty taco? Yeah, maybe a busty-ass taco. Like two tacos like this? I don't want to add anything to a taco. Like holding tacos like you would hold a titty? Have you guys looked at the boomerangs? How do you hold a titty? I do it from the top.
Starting point is 00:30:15 I do it like a stinky sock. Like a pair of swim trunks that I'm about to throw into the dirty clothes. Have you guys looked at the boomerangs on the list? Sorry, what boomerangs? Top of titties don't get enough love. Yeah, no one wants to see top titties. Well, I guess cleavage, they have a whole name for it. Yeah, that's a brand.
Starting point is 00:30:36 But side titty, under titty, those have all had a renaissance in the last 10 to 15. I think seatbelt titty is next up. When the seatbelt goes between the two titties. I think seatbelt titty is next up. When the seatbelt goes between the two titties. I don't think it's on deck. I think there's people who... That's the cousin of purse titty.
Starting point is 00:30:51 Purse titty where you have the strap going through. Seatbelt is the evolution of that. We're man-backed to clutches, so we've lost that. Yeah, that ruins that. The fucking clutch.
Starting point is 00:31:01 What are the boomerangs, though? I was just wondering if you guys saw the boomerangs on their page. No, I haven't. Very sexual. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:31:08 And tacos and titties are involved in all of them. Really? All in one. Sour cream. Just dumping some guac down the front. Some pico de gallo.
Starting point is 00:31:18 The boomerangs are up top. Wait, you pussies didn't say what your favorite tacos were. Oh, there's tacos on that page? What's she doing? Oh, that is sexual. All right, I guess she could handle me. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:40 Okay, tacos. And we got both. What is that, calamari? Is that a calamari taco? Did they put an onion ring on a taco? What the fuck? They should put onion rings around tacos to keep them together. Can we just have that one playing the whole time?
Starting point is 00:31:57 Put the fucking onion ring on top of the taco? How? How is that going to work? Onion rings are inconvenient. You also have to hold an onion ring firmly to make sure it doesn't fall apart. Yeah, that's what I mean. Much like a taco. You bite it and it strings apart.
Starting point is 00:32:10 I feel like there's too much structural, a lack of integrity structurally for you to be able to put an onion ring on top of a taco. Favorite tacos. That is a good one. I'm trying to think. I like the Indian ones from Taco Mahal. Oh, what kind of those? Taco Mahal? A tikka kind of those? Taco Mahal? A tikka masala taco, and it's just wrapped in naan instead of... There's nothing taco about it.
Starting point is 00:32:30 You guys are just not talking tacos anymore. It's from Taco Mahal. Dude, but anything's a taco. If you really fucking look at it. Anything's a fucking sandwich if you fucking look at it right. Come on. I like carne asada, and I also like fish tacos, but I need it filleted, though. I don't want to fucking, like, crumbles of fish.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Do you like a good shrimp taco? I do, but I like it, but I don't love it. Y'all know I've been on my barbacoa tip. For real? Yeah. I'm an al pastor guy. Oh, that's what I meant, not carne asada. That's pork, right?
Starting point is 00:32:57 Yeah, al pastor is the best. When they shave it off of the fucking spit. Come on, now. I like a good steak taco. I had the best taco I had in New York City in Chinatown two weeks ago. Shut up. Duck? No.
Starting point is 00:33:08 It was just a regular... No. Duck? Goose. Is that what you were going for? No, I was just thinking duck, duck, goose. You've been on a big duck wave.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I'm on a duck wave. And you don't use silverware when you eat it. When I eat duck? No. It's like a wing. You have a lot of waves going on. Spearheaded by Islam.
Starting point is 00:33:25 I'm going to get waves in my head. You should. We should be wavy one episode. It's going to take a while. It's going to take a lot of do-rag time for the boys to get waves. Nah, double up. You couldn't tie it tight enough, though. Me?
Starting point is 00:33:38 You're notoriously bad not-tire. Can't loop, swoop, and pull. Or bunny ears. I can't. I know. I for sure watched aop, and pull. Or bunny ears. I can't. I know. I for sure watched a YouTube video of a white dude getting waves. Can we see a white guy wave check? Wave check videos, they had their fucking day, and they were some of the best videos.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Just the excitement. I still love a haircut video. A good haircut video is great. But the wave check where it's like a big assass group of people and they're all taking off their... They're all popping off their do-rags. Gassing each other up like...
Starting point is 00:34:09 You know, the ones I love too are the ones where they comb the waves back. Like they ruin them. Can we get a yak do-rag in the store? Who could get
Starting point is 00:34:23 the waviest in here? Do we have anybody that could get wavy? Sass with waves would be hilarious. You might underneath that. I do. What would you do one day if I just pulled? I was thinking it would be funny if one day I just pulled it back and there's just no hair. I'm just completely bald here.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Except the only hair is behind my head. Just shoot. She's got the Todd Packer. The horseshoe. It would be legendary. You truly would be a fucking legend Um Pop Punk this Friday Connecticut
Starting point is 00:34:54 Um Are you sharp? No We had practice Yesterday we had practice today We're gonna get sharp tonight Did you add a new member Or is that
Starting point is 00:35:01 Nick Hamilton Nick Hamilton is in the fucking mix now. That's dope. KFC radio producer and all around very hardworking guy. Yeah. He's the one who's here. Hardest worker in the building. And that's fucking facts, bro.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Not a fucking ounce of cap on that. Granted, that's not saying much. Nobody fucking works hard around here. But when I come in here at like 1250 and I'm like headed out right after the act, I still see him here. What are you doing? Burning the candle at both ends. He's fucking addicted to the grind. We need to have an intervention for him, bro.
Starting point is 00:35:38 But yeah, he fucking loves it. And he's a very dope and multi-talented musician. He's going to really round it out. What does he plan? A little keyboard. Oh. And a little guitar. Oh. So's going to really round it out. What does he plan? A little keyboard and a little guitar. So we're going to have two guitars. Like a little guitar? A very tiny guitar.
Starting point is 00:35:51 Like a Hawaiian. What's the word? Yooka-Laylee? Yooka-Laylee. He's playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow. That's beautiful. Ron, you still got the safety on that lighter? You don't smoke weed.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I don't even think this is my lighter. I think it was just here, but it's going to be mine now. mine why would it have been here i don't know maybe it was there on top of your phone i think it came i think my phone came like this i think it was just there yeah how about that detroit self-defense guy oh i love him i love him he's having his moment dude you see the video where he's like he's been doing that for like 10 years? Yeah, I think they're all just like old clips of him. I think that's what Aikido is. I think that Aikido, the martial art, requires you to know how to do Aikido to be able to do it. You have to attack a certain way.
Starting point is 00:36:36 All his videos are like if someone's coming at you like this and you just hit him on the back of the head. I'm going to share with you right now what to do if a striker fire weapon is pinning against your chest, against the wall, and a criminal is holding you at bay. And the reason why they're doing this is because this is how they search you for weapons, how they're going to take things from you, also how they're going to harm you physically, keep you from running or pulling out a weapon, is by getting close and pinning you to a wall or to a car. In this case, it's striker fire, so there's no hammer in the back. So the first thing we're gonna do, since we can't move out of the way, we can't move offline,
Starting point is 00:37:07 and if I were to try to move this, as soon as he saw my hand move, he's gonna fire. So we have to make this weapon not fire. And to give an example, the human reaction time, when he sees me move, he's gonna fire. Well, that was before. So the reason why it didn't move, the slide didn't slide, is because I inhibited it by pushing it to the rear.
Starting point is 00:37:26 From there, what we do is push the barrel back towards the aggressor, and now you have the weapon. And you just pin them down to the ground using their finger, taking them under control. Shot him twice before that. He did get shot twice. None of that would work. My favorite one is the one where they're running in the circle. Can we find that one?
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yes, where it's like, hang on a little longer. I have not seen the circle. Can we find that one? Yes, when it's like 10 guys attacking him. I have not seen this guy. Have you seen that one? I wonder how many people he's got killed. He's like the new low-hanging fruit for reaction YouTubers.
Starting point is 00:37:55 He's easy to make fun of. Which we are. We are reaction YouTubers. We're doing it now. I guess so, yeah. That's what we have evolved into, yeah. You guys are going to
Starting point is 00:38:03 love the one where he's running in the circle. It's hysterical. Is he completely serious? Dude, he has a car with his logo on it. It's like Steven Seagal. It's the same vibe. It's like something Steven Che would do.
Starting point is 00:38:18 He would sign up for. Yeah, it is. It was a very good class. It was very informative. If you go to any self-defense class, what are you expecting? You know that I had Spider take an active shooting class? Yeah, Spider is our last line of defense. What, does he shoot back?
Starting point is 00:38:34 Is he going to shoot back? I don't think he... He said he didn't really take away much from the meeting. Oh, you're pretty much fucked. Gabe, you should teach a self-defense class for women. For women? Just tell them to sit down. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Ladies, take a seat. All right, you're good to go. That was an observation that I made, not a joke. What was your observation? Well, statistically, it's your... We get it. We got it. If you're sitting in a chair...
Starting point is 00:39:05 Just run the Dolph back. You might be good. Yeah. Is that true? I've never seen anybody sitting down getting beat up. It's true. We're going to share with you right now some ways you can keep someone from having contact with your family, your friends, or if you want to keep an aggressor away from someone who is going to be victimized.
Starting point is 00:39:27 He is jacked. In the case of a bodyguard, how you keep someone away from your client, in very simple ways. See natural sense? Aggressor comes forward, we go right here to the forehead. That's right to the temple. Another option we have, we don't want to be aggressive, we go right to the elbows, which gives us elbow control, and now we can guide them away nicely. If they're aggressing, another option we have is to take our hand here, go right, move forward, and take our hand under the nose.
Starting point is 00:39:51 Another option we have is to take our hand under the lip, press down. Going forward, we take our hand like this, right inside of the esophagus. These are simple ways you can increase your survivability. Dude, that's not even what I was thinking of. It was like 10 guys attacking him at once. He's just slowly walking around all of them as they all try and attack
Starting point is 00:40:12 him. Truly incredible. Reminds me of Travis Matthew. Yeah, it does. It does. Very much does. We don't have to read for it. It's 20% off if you use the code YAK20. I'm obsessed with their joggers.
Starting point is 00:40:26 I wore them to my women's workout class yesterday, and all the ladies were aghast at how fucking thick my ass looked. It's not thick, but it was just in the Travis Matthews. It will make your ass look fucking plump. I was wearing the Travis Matthew hat right now. I love their hats. Their hats are awesome. Yeah, he's been wearing that all morning.
Starting point is 00:40:41 Love their hats. Body-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy. It fits perfectly on your Zara. Perfect. hats. Body-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy. It fits perfectly on you, Zah. Perfect. Perfect. Get them. That logo's crazy. Because it's like a three.
Starting point is 00:40:50 It reminds me of B4-4. That's right. That sick-ass band. I had Rex Orange County as my number one. Wow. The number one song. Just loving is easy. It's a claymation music video
Starting point is 00:41:05 I like to skip around The fucking city And listen to that shit And be fucking joyous as fuck You do skip around the city a lot I'm fucking joyous bro I'm fucking Oof
Starting point is 00:41:14 Life's happening fucking From me bro Shit's radiating from me It's dope You're like Ferris Bueller over there I am like Ferris Bueller And you're like Cam Yeah Yeah Realistically You're like Ferris Bueller over there. I am like Ferris Bueller, and you're like Cam. Yeah, realistically.
Starting point is 00:41:26 You're the impressionist of the group. Just depressed. Skipping is an efficient way to get from point A to point B. Skipping is so efficient. So efficient, but we don't do it. We skip rope. Why are you skipping rope? I think we jump rope.
Starting point is 00:41:41 Nick, skip the mile. Here we go. Here we go. Look in a circle. Try to block. Try to hit. That's not going to work. So if they try to grab and then try to attack you and you try to back up, this is what's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:41:53 As you try to back up, you're going to get swarmed and you're still going to be dominated and you're going to lose. What you should do is this. He didn't do anything. He didn't do anything You're able to attack Each attacker individually He's a fucking shark He's a genius That would result in immediate death
Starting point is 00:42:19 There was a tweet that was like This kid and he was like My mom dated this dude When I was like 10 years old And he put us through all the training. And the dude's probably grown up to be Michael B. Jordan or something like that. He's probably the most. If the gun is to the rear of your head, hand here to the column, drive away.
Starting point is 00:42:36 That could work. What? Who that shit want to go work? It's true Because people are out here dying People are out here dying God that's tough I had Drake as my top artist And then it was like How do you check top artist three
Starting point is 00:43:06 was low bit three was meek four was low baby five was freddy gibbs but two was phoebe bridgers rapper all four rappers and then phoebe bridge was in there just fucking singing about kyoto i'm dying to get to kyoto i am too. Phoebe Bridgers went there. Phil Knight went there in Shoe Dogs. Nike guy? Yeah. You ever read Shoe Dogs? I never read Shoe Dogs. I think you'd like it.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I might like Shoe Dogs. You're well-read. Is it like War Dogs? Both shoes? Yeah, kind of. You're going to have to Google Spotify Raps and then click on the link. Jesus Christ, dude. Kyle, this is kind of spoilerish, and I probably shouldn't talk about it,
Starting point is 00:43:44 but the questions you wrote for tomorrow's dozen matches geography questions based on the interstates are insane. I bet they're impossible. They're insane. Okay, no, they aren't. Yes, they are. What do you mean they're insane? They're insane.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Who would know that? Who would know that? We missed. You can go by the interstate. It goes from blank to blank cities, and you guess the biggest city in between those. I just feel like who's going to know that? What's the biggest city along I-40?
Starting point is 00:44:12 I have no idea. That wasn't the question. There was the point A and point B cities. But I used different. And you can use like. Well, I-40 goes from North Carolina to California. What's the biggest city? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Nashville, maybe? Your frame of reference is just different from everybody else's. You just have a broader frame of reference. Nothing wrong with it. It's actually quite inspiring. It is. Did anybody get those questions? No, but we had our second guess was right.
Starting point is 00:44:42 The one we didn't go with was right. Nice. Did the other team steal it? Oh, they did not. No, but we had our second guess was right. The one we didn't go with was right. Nice. Did the other team steal it? Oh, they did not. No, no. We were playing cons in Casey, so they didn't get much. No? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Oh, boy. My number two song was Pink Pantheress. Really? You know Pink Pantheress? I don't. What's that about? Is that about a pussy? No, it's the name of the artist.
Starting point is 00:45:08 It's like a Pink Panther, but a Pantheress, like a woman Panther. I used to think that the movie Pink Panther had an actual Panther in it, but then I realized that that's what... The cartoon does. Yeah. But isn't that like a commercial for something? Owen's Corning fiber installation. Oh, that's what it is?
Starting point is 00:45:25 That was a Pink Panther, but there was also a Pink Panther. And who played the Pink Panther? Well, Steve Martin played in the remake, but it was the French guy, right? Jacques Cousteau? No, he's the oceaner. No, but that was the name of the Pink Panther. No, it wasn't. Clouseau.
Starting point is 00:45:41 Inspector Clouseau. But it was Jacques, wasn't it? But it wasn't Cousteau. It was Clouseau. Clouseau. Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau. But it was Jacques, wasn't it? But it wasn't Cousteau. It was Clouseau. Clouseau. Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau. You could see why I would conflate the two. They're similar.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Oh, yesterday I was on the train, and there was a woman across from me, and she was talking loudly in French, and she was crying hysterically. And everybody else on the train got up, but I was- Did you call your wife and see her? No, I was in trance because French is a beautiful language to cry in. Yeah. To cry in? Yeah, it was stunning to watch.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I don't know what she was crying about. I would have talked to her, but she was talking in French. It's a very throttle. She's crying in a different language? Well, she was talking in French, and she would stop and she would sob every now and then. Merci, mes coups. Je m'appelle Edouard. She was clearly arguing with somebody in French, and then she would occasionally.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Probably her French lover who was wantonly cheating on her. Oh, yeah. Because that's how they do shit over there. Is that the only way? Well, they're over here. But she might have been on the phone on a long distance. It might have been at night. He was probably calling her up while he was cheating just to be like, baby, I'm getting
Starting point is 00:46:42 some strange. Fuck you you Stranger you ever watch Emily in Paris any of you please watch Emily in Paris show's fire right
Starting point is 00:46:52 the whole thing the show's fire what do you guys do it's terrible I think the title the show's supposed to rhyme it's Emily in Paris yes
Starting point is 00:47:00 Emily in Paris but uh it's a good show we ain't in Paris bro what is your move when you make your girl cry in an argument I haven't done it in years I always say you did this to yourself Oh you're crying now
Starting point is 00:47:14 Don't fuck it Oh you're gonna cry now Oh you're gonna try to make me feel like the bad guy Cause you're crying Don't fucking cry Now this is a thing Now this is a whole thing This could have been a conversation
Starting point is 00:47:26 But you made it an argument I like to cry harder I like to just over sob Over whatever they're doing I just take it to fucking 10 We're in fucking public Get it together Get it together
Starting point is 00:47:38 Last fucking time We're at the blue man group Stop crying You love the blue man group Damn it Fucking blue man group You haven't. You love the blue man group, damn it. Fucking blue man group. You haven't made your wife cry in years. It's been a while.
Starting point is 00:47:52 So far. What about big guy moves? There's a certain element of, you know, the first years of marriage, you have good arguments. By 15, which we're at, it's, you know. You're broken. We know how to avoid arguments and how to avoid all confrontation. We just, you know. Push it down.
Starting point is 00:48:06 You know, it's loveless, it's argulous, it's everything. Yeah, loveless. Yeah. Yeah, so. That's when you know a marriage is fine. Once it gets to the point of lovelessness, you're safe. No divorce. Once it's time to fight, I just pretty much go watch TV.
Starting point is 00:48:18 That's incredible. I'm proud of you guys. Thanks. Nah, you know what? What was that Go ahead and make your wife cry You want her to cry tonight Yeah fuck it
Starting point is 00:48:28 We can make my wife cry tonight What do y'all want me to do Strip a cheat on her I don't think I'll make her cry Nah that wouldn't work She'd be like Get out of jail free card And a divorce win
Starting point is 00:48:37 Should I get fired I don't think she'd try Yeah Tell her you're moving to What place would be worse than this L.A. There is no place Say you're moving to L. would be worse than this la no there's a moving to la She wouldn't like that
Starting point is 00:48:48 Yeah, okay. Okay. We're tell her you love her. Oh, yeah I'm the teller. I'm the best you can get Yeah, I can't leave. What are you expecting? And you're also great Brandon. You're tall you have high hair You're successful and you're a family man who loves his fucking wire Why are the why the gay guys looking at you so hard? I don't know, but he has a picture on his phone. Of Nick. This is a live show, Joey.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Yeah, why are the gay guys just stopping in the hallway and staring you down? A picture of you got sent to us, Nick, and you're going to want to see it. We're going to want to see it. All of us are going to want to see it. Oh, Jesus. This isn't me. This is you and KB, and I have the proof. We're looking at tacos and titties.
Starting point is 00:49:33 Enough. Let's pull up tacos and titties and see if we can change these boys' minds. You have to Venmo us and publicity. Why don't you come in here? Or talk about this car for $300. Okay, never mind. This is a straight room in here? My face isn't in there. Or talk about gift cards for $300. Down, down, down. Okay, never mind.
Starting point is 00:49:46 This is a straight room. We could turn those boys straight in five minutes. Straight jacket. There's no fucking... That's Travis Matthew. We'll have those boys straight in no time. We'll have those boys fucking going to Hooters. What is this?
Starting point is 00:50:02 What is this? Where is it? We can't show that on television. That's not me. Oh, God. Let me see. Let me see. Is an eye in it too?
Starting point is 00:50:10 That could be anybody. No, someone sent us a random picture of KB and Nick when they were in high school. Yeah. And now we are requesting. You have a picture of naked high school me on your phone. 30. Well, you're 18.
Starting point is 00:50:23 We know it took you a while. No, no. We're requesting a $ a while to... 18 at a time. We're requesting a $30 Venmo to us and publicity to not expose it. No, I'd like publicity to expose that.
Starting point is 00:50:34 See how that works for exposing Nick's asshole. Oh, that's just my... You can't tell that's my butthole? I didn't say that, but you think she has? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:50:42 I think a butthole is like a fun one. We were saying the butthole is the nipples of the back. I don't know what you guys think. I'd agree. Titties are the... Trish?
Starting point is 00:50:51 I agree as well. Nick, the ball's in your court. We're going to go record. Let us know. You have an hour to let us know. Wait. $30 to take the ball. Is this a metaphorical ball?
Starting point is 00:50:58 No. Are you still thinking about doing that surgery? Drinking wine? Oh, yeah. Oh, we should plug that. We have an episode coming out tomorrow, but we're doing a plastic surgery episode where we're giving Botox and filler
Starting point is 00:51:07 to a bunch of people in the office. You guys are all over that. Pat, let me get a sip of water. I'm thirsty. But I thought you were going to get some other surgery, Pat. I was going to get top surgery. What's that mean?
Starting point is 00:51:18 You're going to get titties? Titties taken off. Joe, you need top surgery. Is it water? Look at it. Literally a top surgery. That's fire. But that's because he had gyno.
Starting point is 00:51:24 What's that? Gyno clematis where you have bitch tits it. Literally had top surgery. That's fire. But that's because he had gyno. What's that? Gyno clematis is where you have bitch tits. I like your boxers. That's fucking fire. They say I love beer. Well, this has been fun guys. I thought you were going to shave your Adam's apple off or some shit. Yeah, shave it down.
Starting point is 00:51:34 I was doing facial feminization. Yeah, that's what I meant. Facial feminization. What the fuck is that? Okay. Just no scars. You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
Starting point is 00:51:46 His ass is homophobic. Big time. You didn't say a word, brother. You kind of cowered a little bit. I know, I did. Why do you have two hands guarding your penis as if they were going to grab it up at any second? He was walking in here. Give me a piece of spaghetti.
Starting point is 00:52:03 He's ravenous. Honestly, I wanted to see the picture of KB and Nick and then they didn't show it to me. You're good. I would argue it's not us. You're good.
Starting point is 00:52:14 It was two open buttholes. Two guys on all four in a hotel room. That's funny, though. I would want to see that just to laugh. Yo, let me see that
Starting point is 00:52:24 just to giggle Show me that because it's like We literally did have your friend in to show his balls though To laugh and giggle See you're pluralizing I think you're talking down to me when you're pluralizing It's one ball One of the things that drives me craziest
Starting point is 00:52:38 And it will forever Is that people think that I was making Ruiz up Well you were making Ruiz up I wonder why they think that I was making Ruiz up. Well, you were making Ruiz up. I wonder why they think that. Yeah. There's reasons that I didn't bring in Ruiz, okay? Yeah, because he has a tiny nutsack. Then you put him in fake prison.
Starting point is 00:52:53 Yeah, your boy's got a tiny... You not only made him... He has raisin nuts. You put him in fake prison. You made him a fake criminal. That was a lie excuse, but he is real. That excuse was better than why he couldn't actually come. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:53:06 Did you guys see the guy on Reddit that might have a ball that can challenge Nick's guy? We got a big ball? A guy on Reddit? What do you mean? There was a Reddit. Ever since that happened, there have been a ton of guys sending me their nuts.
Starting point is 00:53:22 Don't do that. Send that to Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle? I forget. Send him your balls. Barstool Pat, right? No, do that. Send that to Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle? I forget. Send him your thing as Barstool Pat, right? Barstool Pat, yeah. No, no, no, no, no. My buddy Pat.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Did we ever say his name when he was on the show? No, just Pat, I think. Okay. There's a stranger waiting for you in the dark. Rough and Rowdy next week as well.
Starting point is 00:53:42 Rough and Rowdy's about to be fucking electric December 10th. Pumped. Where is it? December 10th. Charleston? Charleston, West Virginia.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Charlestown? Charleston. What's the difference, Gabby? Are you guys going? Fuck it. I would love to go. I would love to do something like that sometime. Wouldn't Frank used to always do those tweets?
Starting point is 00:54:02 Always, yeah. I would love to do this. I would love to be a part of this someday. When you go are you going to wrap. Are you going to wrap your guy.
Starting point is 00:54:11 You'll be team. Yeah I'll be in the news corner. One hundred percent. What corner is Caleb going to be in. You see ASAP Rocky commented on Caleb's
Starting point is 00:54:19 video. Hey sat. Laura Flocka. Fucking pretty boy. I hope he could get that pretty motherfucker on his Sunday conversation. That would be cool. That would be fucking fire. Run some drugs.
Starting point is 00:54:31 Dogs. Dogs. Yes. The bass keeps running, running. Running, running. Running, running. And running, running. And running, running.
Starting point is 00:54:40 And running, running. In this context, there's no disrespect. I'll break my rhymes. You break your neck. Itch, paw, itch. And running, and running, running. There's no disrespect. I'll break my rhymes. You break your neck. Hitchpot, hitch. And running, running. The feelings are irresistible and that's how you lose it. How many minutes did you have, Ron?
Starting point is 00:54:56 What, of stand-up? No. What? Spotify wrapped. Of just how many minutes did I spend this year? Yeah. I forget. Maybe 28,000?
Starting point is 00:55:04 I didn't get that far. I was in the top 81%. Really? Yeah. Why was it 41%? It's nothing. No, no, no. I was 80% more.
Starting point is 00:55:11 81% more than other people. Oh, okay. Wait, why would you inverse that? What do you mean? That's not how they give it to you. Yeah, it is. They say you're... I didn't see that, brother.
Starting point is 00:55:22 No, they say you're in like the top 1%. Yeah. 0.0%. No, I said I would listen to 81%. I wouldn't see that, brother. No, they say you're in the top 1%. Yeah, 0.0%. No, I said I would listen to 81. I wouldn't lie about this, but I'll pull it up. 18,000 minutes. So that's more than 71% of other listeners. Where do you guys see that? And they also said the song playing as you proclaim your love in the rain
Starting point is 00:55:39 is Sweet Burgamesque, L75-3 Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy. Shut the fuck up. Debussy, huh? No, do you think I lie about Debussy? No, I said fuck you for having that. Why, bro? This is the shit I listen to, bro. You don't like Debussy?
Starting point is 00:55:50 I like Debussy, and also Off the Yak by Young Ma is the song I would play if I was defeated in ancient vengeful spirit. Every time I search Off the Yak to see who they want off our show, that comes up. Yeah, Young Ma. You search who wants off the show. I'm off the yak. Who do I got? Oh, Big Cat. Azalea Banks.
Starting point is 00:56:10 Big Wild. Dido. Kiara. Come on in. Come in for one minute. He's Travis Matthewed out. He's Travis Matthewed out. Head to toe. Matthew check. Get a little Matthew check. Travis Matthew. Travis Matthew. Matthew Hell yes brother
Starting point is 00:56:25 What's up boys What's up legend Legend Alright that's our show Yeah perfect Thanks for being here today everyone It's the act It's your straws, yeah, style, it's tape, for a while, it's the act. It's the act. It's the act.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, and do a Yankee pop. It's the act. It's the act. We'll see you next time.

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