The Yak - Forget Train Videos... We're Doing Drain Videos | The Yak 11-30-21
Episode Date: December 2, 2021goated on the stixYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. It's the Yak. It's the Yak. It's the Yak.
It's the Yak.
Core members only.
Core Yak guys only.
I'm missing the legend.
That's the original six, is it not?
The original six is what we call us.
We're like Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg, the two Winklevosses,
and then the two first girls he faced off against one another on the Facebook.
That's right.
That's us.
I'm both Winklevosses in this scenario.
Fuck.
I thought we were the Bruins, the Red Wings, the Maple Leafs?
Yep.
Oh, the original six.
Yeah, the... The Rangers?
Who, the Canadiens?
It's got to be the Canadiens.
Were the Canadiens in the original six?
Original six.
Flyers?
No, not Flyers.
Bruins?
I think Bruins, yes.
I'm from Boston on this show, unfortunately.
It's a shame.
I'm from Boston.
Bro, put some respect on my name.
Oh, I forgot.
I thought you were a Philly guy, bro.
I am. At, I forgot. I thought you were a Philly guy, bro. I am.
At heart.
Yeah.
You're Eagles, Phillies, Penn State, Vikings.
What could possibly make that much of a difference?
I don't know.
What could possibly make that much of a difference?
I don't know what it could be.
It sounds like the whole building is coming down.
The Bruins, the Blackhawks, the Red Wings, the Canadians, the Rangers, and the Maple Leafs.
So we got them.
You think Chicago turned out how they hoped it would?
No.
I think they're very happy with the way it turned out.
Really?
Yeah, I really do.
I don't know if they should.
I'm just saying I think they're very pleased with the way it turned out.
A fun fact about Chicago is they're one of the only, if not the only city with garages. Car holes.
Yes.
That is true. That is a fun fact.
I can't believe it.
But they really thought they did something when they made
Chicago. They really did. They thought they fucking
snapped when they made Chicago.
They kind of did though.
They kind of snapped, but I think
in the back of their mind, they thought it was
going to be something bigger than it was.
When it was part of the original six, that was like,
oh, we're going to put a hockey franchise here before everything, before anywhere.
Yeah, but you know how the original six, they thought they were the swinging dicks.
They looked down on Boston back then.
That's what I mean, and I think they thought that they were going to kind of
rise to this level of supremacy, and sure, it's Midwestern supremacy.
Does Montreal still belong in that six?
No. I'm not sure in that six? No.
I'm not sure Montreal really panned out.
You don't think so?
Except for the prostitutes.
Yeah, the prostitutes.
We get Lenny Balls in here.
The wishy-washies in Montreal.
We'll leave Lenny Balls on the fucking shelf.
Do you guys see this guy's vlog set up?
It's on his shoulder.
He's got a camera attached to his shoulder.
It's a live stream.
Oh, he's live streaming Twitch. So's got a camera attached to his shoulder. It's a live stream. Oh, he's live streaming Twitch.
So it's a computer, basically, he's holding.
For the sake of sensitivity, what's his name?
I have no idea.
I think it's Arab.
I think his name's just Arab.
Oh, is that who that is?
Is it A-R-Ab, maybe?
I think it might be A-R-Ab.
If that's who that is, it's Arab.
Yeah, that's who that is.
Is he a big streamer?
Yeah.
He's just coming in here dunking on us on some IRL shit.
TJ, how was the Rutgers game?
It was pretty good.
You went into that with a clear head, nothing bothering you?
All things considered, a good day.
It looked awesome.
It was awesome.
I appreciate the hospitality from the fam over at Rutgers.
Ron knows that environment well.
We stormed over there.
What did Ron Harper go for last night, 23-9?
Yep.
That boy's fucking good.
Is he the son of the?
Yes.
Oh.
Five-time NBA champion.
Five-time NBA champion.
I'll be.
Is that right?
Three with the Bulls and two with the Lakers.
How was that?
What was that?
That was awesome.
He was doing Booker T. Oh, is that what? That was awesome. He was doing Booker T.
Oh, is that what it was?
Yeah, he was doing Booker T.
It was good.
I didn't know you were a wrestling guy.
Did you get turned out to wrestling by expression?
Well, he looks like I'm in Booker T.
There we go.
That's a joke on Troops TV.
They call me little Booker T.
They love wrestling.
I grew up a massive wrestling fan.
Did you really?
Yeah.
Can you give Sass and KB one five-time?
Five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW champion.
Can you do a Spinneroni?
I used to be able to.
I'm too fat now.
I clocked the scale at 163 pounds the other day.
Oh, you're fat a little bit.
That's the heaviest I've ever been in my life.
You have Spider by 53 pounds.
Yeah, that a lot.
Wow.
What the fuck?
You did look stout as a running back.
Honestly, there's definitely been NFL players who weighed less than you.
Who is that really light guy?
Donnell Pumphrey?
He was like 140 pounds.
Less than 163 pounds in NFL play?
I'm sure there's cornerbacks that are a little lighter.
Donnell Pumphrey was less.
Or fucking Devontae Smith damn near.
Yeah.
I remember Rice had a little running back, about 4'5".
Well, how much does Tyreek Hill weigh?
No, you're right.
That guy was tiny.
Oh, my God.
How the fuck did you remember that?
I remember short running.
They had a 4'5 running back.
I don't remember his name, but he was ridiculous.
I wouldn't even be in the top 50 shortest Division I FBS running backs.
I looked at every roster.
Wow.
Every roster right now?
You looked at every roster for that?
Not even historically?
I would just scan in the heights.
Historically or just now?
Right now, Roan.
Jesus Christ.
In the present tense.
Holy fuck.
Yeah, dude.
They sneak tiny guys onto football teams.
But this one was exceptionally tiny.
Four or five?
Can we pull up his highlight?
Jason Carter with a Y.
Jason Carter.
Was he stout?
He was 4'9", 140 pounds.
Did he start?
No.
He played.
He got one of those homecoming special needs plays.
You're right.
He got a special carry in the Hawaii Bowl.
Why do you know all this?
I hope he's doing well. Kyle, if you ditched some of the knowledge you had,
you could probably learn Mandarin.
That's a fact.
That's easily a fact.
I kind of want to watch a little bit of him.
I don't know if he's got highlights.
A little bit.
I want to watch everything he has to offer.
I saw a trick play yesterday.
You always have the interstate.
In Hawaii.
The players, they all knew each other from high school.
You're going to be able to tell
which one he is.
He's obscured.
Oh, God.
Look at him.
Not quite.
I thought he burst it for a touchdown or something.
Oh, no.
They helped him out.
Oh, man.
God.
Oh.
Don't feel bad for him.
He ate in high school.
He, like, earned his walk on.
Yeah, he definitely was a beast in high school.
There's no doubt in my mind.
He was Texas 13A
Division 4 state champion.
His first carry was for negative yards?
Uh, yeah. His only carry.
Was that his only? It wasn't like
too pathetic, though. No.
It didn't really help him much. But that's why
when people are like, I could get a fucking yard
if you just put me in there. No, you
fucking couldn't. Those hypotheticals are...
Who did we just pan to?
I don't know, but the security guy's just over there eating.
People are always like,
did you catch that pass?
Like, no, I wouldn't catch that pass.
I think the worst...
The people who say they can make a basket in the NBA.
Yeah, or, dude, there was a...
Oh, just heave it up.
I think the worst one is the people who think
they can get a hit in Major League Baseball.
Yeah, the Philly media guy, Elliot Shore-Parks,
he was like, I could luck into a home run.
A home run?
What?
You can't.
You absolutely can't.
You didn't hit a home run at any level,
and you're not about to luck into a home run.
If I got a foul tip after 100 pitches, I would be excited.
Yeah, I would be overjoyed.
It would hurt my hands.
Yeah, every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands.
And that's with anything. Golf club, hockey stick. When you would hurt my hands. Every single time I made contact, it hurt my hands. And that's with anything.
Golf club.
Hockey stick.
When did you talk about your hands?
They're feeble.
Did you see everybody dropping back yesterday?
I love the replies.
Oh, it's perfect bait.
I intentionally had bad form for the algorithm.
Yeah, thank you.
I saw you.
You did one with perfect, like, perfect form,
and we were like, no, no, no.
No, that won't work.
That's not it at all, Nick.
But that's really what had me thinking
that Zoc would actually...
What a bunch of bozos in this office.
I love how, like,
from the commenter's perspective,
they're mad that we're not athletic
because we work for a sports company.
Zoc, though!
Zoc climbed the pocket!
Zoc!
Bob Fox Trent Happy
these look like
that actor
that was throwing
on that
that show
the movie
someone pushed
that in the applause
so funny
Ebony driving it back
she just bounced
she had a little
Mahomes wrist action
to her
of course he throws
with the left hand
yeah what was that that had a little Mahomes wrist action to her. Of course, he throws with the left hand.
Yeah.
What was that?
That's a little carry-up.
The release.
Oh, that was quick.
Off the back foot, though.
And that's fucking... That wasn't bad.
Oh, that's too serious.
Look at him climb the pocket.
That's not bad. Oh, that's too serious. Look at him climb the pocket. That's a climb.
Oh, shit.
Yes.
Fuck, yeah.
Lenny's was pretty good.
Based off of what knowledge?
Just his form looks better than everyone else's.
I think Gravity just did the work on his.
We got to do a part two.
That was bad. You guys never played quarterback. Play the baseball one. I think Gravity just did the work on his. We got to do a part two. That was bad.
You guys never played quarterback.
Play the baseball one.
I love that one.
Yeah, everybody swings.
That's the one where you were shockingly good, right?
Yeah, it was nice.
That's why I love it.
Sneaky athlete.
I got to do more of those.
I got to think of, give me like kind of a big.
Just do some crossovers.
Like golf swing or like fucking free throw form.
Or heavy bag.
Yeah, punch, punch, head hitting a heavy bag. Yeah, punch, punch, hitting a heavy bag.
That's fucking good.
How'd that do on the talk?
Better on Twitter than on the talk,
to be honest.
I should have put it at part two, part three.
We're getting bogged down in analytics, though.
I got to fucking beat that algorithm
like fucking Rocky, bro.
I will, though.
I'm going to beat the fuck out of that algorithm.
You're still riding that high
from the Lettuce Club video?
Oh, bro. How many views did that end up getting?
Two billion
That's not a joke
Everyone saw it
Everybody in the world
Everyone on earth
Everyone saw it
Strangely
That Mr. Beast video got like 110 million views in like a day
Wow
Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance? Yes Look at this That ain't bad Like a day. Wow.
Is that Pokey Reese's batting stance?
Yes.
Okay.
Look at this.
That ain't bad.
And he works at Barstool Sports, dude.
That's a little waggle.
You can tell what time this is because of Sass's sweater.
So that's anywhere between early 2020 and early 2021. Guard in that strike zone.
Choked up.
He's got a bunt.
Oh, no.
Just swung like that.
That was for average.
Dugs.
I remember Dugs.
See Dugs in a minute.
Bang.
There you go, Brandon.
Some serious power there.
I'm a great player.
Nice.
Nice, Nick.
Look at this.
Run it again.
Look when you were skinny.
You weren't eating back then.
No.
Put on a good 40 pounds since then.
Straight to the stomach.
Show your stomach.
Yeah.
I was saying to Rowan that I'm 80% stomach right now.
I don't think that's true.
He's dwarfed by stomach.
You have body dysmorphia.
Because sometimes you think you're jacked, and then sometimes you think you're fat.
I know, but the body dysmorphia where you think you're jacked is a lot more fun.
He's walking around confident.
He's bipolar, which is sweet, which is dope.
I fucking love my bipolar homies.
When you ask for a chain check, I put my camera on timer mode and did like 30 shirtless with the chain on.
Really?
Why didn't you send it?
I have body dysmorphia.
When I look in the mirror at my shirtless body, I'm like, I'm jacked.
But when I look at a picture, it's not quite there.
Your dysmorphia has basis, though.
If you look at lowering the bar from around this time last year, you had a puffy face.
Yeah, I was fat.
But why did you have to have a fucking jacked picture to send to the three of us doing a chain share?
Just in case you posted it on something.
A, you did a torso reveal on here in a day that we weren't in.
But I took five screenshots of it that day.
And you looked jacked that day.
Yeah, you look really jacked.
And it wasn't mirror.
Shirtless and jeans is near impossible to pull off.
And you did it.
Yeah, you had no muffin.
You had no muffin.
You didn't have a belly button.
I disagree with that.
I think shirtless in jeans makes you look better than you really are shirtless.
Oh, really?
I think the jeans makes you look better.
Ken Jack had this theory.
The hardest look to pull off for a man is shirt, no pants.
Winnie the Pooh.
You can't look cool, and you can't look jacked.
You have to have a real long, skinny one. You got to have a ribbon penis. You can't look cool You can't look jacked It's just Sure
Yeah you
You have to have
A real long skinny one
You gotta have
A ribbon penis
That's just dangling
Flapping in the wind
Cause too thick
That's damning
What'd you guys
What's that Spotify rap
Look like for you boys
Sass we saw yours
Yeah
Posted it
Had to
Had to
Salute Mine was the exact same as last year.
All the same artists.
Really?
Yeah.
What was your voice?
All the same?
All the same.
Mine was fucked up because my kids also use mine.
Yeah.
My outcast didn't show up this year.
It's always outcast number one, but this year it was George Strait and Dixie Chicks because
my daughter listens to mine now.
Yeah, I saw that.
If you use Alexa, too, it can, like, fuck up your...
If someone in your family uses, like, Alexa, it happened to my sister.
It, like, fucked up her.
So, like, she's got, like, John Denver and James Taylor as her number one.
Outrageous.
She doesn't listen to them.
That's your number one anyway, right?
No.
My number one was a band.
The lead singer's a goblin.
Actual goblin.
Hey, what about the trio from Canada?
My number one's a band Called Necro Goblicon
Sounds cool
No
Look I wish we could play some
We just simply can't
What was yours Ron?
Who is the trio from Canada
You told me about?
Rush?
Haim?
No
No it's a
It's a boy band
Oh yeah
B4-4
B4-4 Yeah B-4-4.
Yeah, I love those guys, too.
Are they three-year-olds?
No, no, no.
That's why they're called that.
Why?
Because there's three of them.
Two of them are twins.
What the fuck?
And one of them's a bad boy.
He's always giving the finger.
One of the twins is a bad boy?
Yes.
That's how you have to separate yourself.
I didn't know if one of the third guys,
if the third guy was the bad boy.
No.
The suggested song for the beginning of the year, I tweeted it, is like, it's that Suck Your Own Dick song.
When did we, did we play that on here?
It was a Friday vibe.
Oh, yeah.
If you want to be slick, you got to suck your own dick.
That one.
I don't know how that.
You talked about.
Suck Your Own Dick?
The wall, the mural behind us.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck.
You and the boss will be covered in murals.
I miss that mural. Yeah, fuck.
What did they do with that? Just burn it? Paint it over it?
Paint it over it? Really?
Why? Why would they have to burn it?
I don't know. This wall wouldn't be
here if they burn it. Serious?
Jesus Christ. That's louder than the last.
Boys, they're just doing their jobs.
What do you want them to do?
What is their job?
Building a railroad?
Is that John Henry up there?
Do you think they're purposely trying to annoy us?
No, I don't think that.
I am curious of what makes that rumble.
From what I've seen upstairs, it looks like they're just building out one tiny little area.
So I don't know why the whole building would be shaking.
That sounds like destruction right there, not construction.
Are you a stoic, KB?
Shit doesn't bother you, huh?
You could just be eating your little baguette at a bistro.
Someone could open fire and you'd be like, they're just shooting.
Let me just fucking live.
Well, yeah, let me live my last days.
Are you a stoic?
No.
You might be a stoic.
I feel like being a stoic is popular as fuck right now.
Nah, Taoism is the new thing.
Really?
Maybe I'm missing the wave by a notch on stoicism
because I think that I've seen a lot of people talking about the way of the stoic
and quoting Marcus Aurelius and shit.
Like he's a hot new fucking name.
Strong, silent type.
Yeah. So you are
a fucking stoic, bro.
You been reading Aurelius?
Edie Falco and Michael
Imperioli are Hindus,
I think. On God?
On Vishnu?
On Vishnu.
Holy fuck. I could get
into Hinduism. They got that shit figured out.
Also, Indian folk have their religion figured out.
What are they into?
Hinduism.
Hinduism?
That's Hinduism.
All Indian folk?
But India has so many religions.
Yeah.
Thousands there.
And castes.
I guess they don't have a lot of castes.
There's a lot of people in India.
Yeah.
We give China credit for all the people they have.
But India's got a shit ton, too.
India's normalized the one rupee street massage, which needs to come here quick.
We need to get the one rupee street massage stat.
What is it?
They just rub you down and nobody bats an eye.
What do you mean?
Yeah, I saw that on YouTube.
Yeah.
The one rupee street massage?
And you are very close to being hit by cars.
They lay you right down in the street. Can I see it? Can we pull it up on YouTube. Yeah. The one rupee street massage. And you are very close to being hit by cars. They lay you right down in the street.
Can I see it?
Can we pull it up on YouTube?
It's YouTube videos
of the one rupee street massage?
Yeah.
I think this might be
in the same vein
as the ostrich video.
This might get us taken down.
You strip?
That's fine.
No, you don't strip.
Do you have to strip?
No.
I think they'll copyright
claim our stream, though.
What do they...
Do you get a back rub?
Are you just clothed?
They always tug your arms.
Are there any little delis?
Like little Mumbai's?
Are there any Indian neighborhoods in the city?
Jamaica Queens is very Indian.
New New Delhi?
Jamaican Queens?
Jamaica Queens?
Jamaican Queens.
My mind is on Jamaican Queens and wife and wife.
Cuffing one up.
Wife and wife.
You do need a Jamaican queen.
You could be a white yardie.
Indians are chill as fuck.
Indians?
Yeah, they're like family wide walks at like midnight.
I like how they cut in line like it's nobody's business.
They'll just stand in front of you in line and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you.
Is that a negative stereotype? Sounds like it. Is it front of you in line, and it's just like, all right, you should have been standing closer to the person in front of you. Is that a negative stereotype?
Sounds like it.
Is it?
Cutting in line?
Did that just happen to you once?
Yeah.
No, this is all Indians.
I like how Indians cut in line.
This is all high five from us.
I cut in line.
You wanted us to sign off on it, too.
I'm a line cutter.
I don't know if that's a stereotype.
I'm a habitual line cutter.
I'll, like, cut someone off in traffic.
And then you get cut off once, and you put it on the whole Indian people? I'm saying I if that's a stereotype. I'm a habitual line cutter. I'll cut someone off in traffic. And then you get cut off once and you put it on the whole Indian people?
I'm saying I admire that trait.
If there's a line in the airport and there's a break and somebody's lunching, fucking not paying attention, I'll get right in that line.
So you're an asshole.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
But I don't think it's an asshole quality.
I think it's an efficient quality and you take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention.
And I respect that. I think in traffic you can do it. I take advantage of loopholes in the system of people not paying attention, and I respect that.
I think in traffic you can do it.
I'm not sure you can do it on foot.
Watch me.
Yeah, go cut today.
I'll cut anybody.
I'll cut myself.
Watch me.
I admire it as a trait. An emo kid just intentionally going to the back of the line.
Oh, man.
I heard a battle rap line this weekend.
A guy said that he's got coke so white
that it cuts itself.
Damn.
I'm dying.
That's a bar.
That's a fucking bar.
Owen, are you on antibiotics today, my dog?
No, but I was sick this weekend.
Fuck.
Yeah.
What flavor? I don't know they just said
it wasn't covid the flu or strep so they just said that seems like what we say that's what i think
yeah that's what we say now when we get sick we don't say what it is we say it's not covid yeah
and it's way more respectable even though it's probably we no longer say what what our actual
sickness is yeah you observation roasting him yeah you definitely heard that shit at the fucking uh the cellar one
night or something one observation what i can try what did i hear at the cellar bro some a joke like
brandon's i did no but i actually do agree that is very true yes i also agree that it's very true
people don't give a fuck what you have unless you have COVID.
When it could be equally contagious.
Sash, your pants are depressingly wrinkled.
Yeah, I know.
I didn't really know that until I came in.
But this angle, they don't look too bad.
Can we get a zoom?
When they were on the floor, they looked more wrinkled.
They look real.
It's specifically this one.
That leg is wrinkled.
Where was it?
Where'd you get those?
Where you been?
Oh, they were in my room.
Oh, that's bad room Oh, that's bad
Oh, that's fucked
Are they stinky?
KB, smell them
No, they're not
I smelled them before
Smell the base
Sass's room has
I looked this up
3% of all Jack Link's
Beef jerky bags
You've been there
Now I'm off the jerky
You're off
Well, yeah
They're just still there
Yeah
Because you've eaten all of it
I know
There just is no more jerky
I didn't realize that Beef jerky has, like, ridiculous amounts of sodium in it.
Sure, no sodium, yeah.
Really?
Yeah.
How did you not know that?
I don't know.
How do you think they jerky it?
I don't know.
How do you think that they preserve meat?
I mean, I've come to a conclusion that, like, everything good has just a ton of sodium in it.
You've been coming to too many conclusions.
Yeah, I know.
Rethinking a lot of stuff.
Was it definitely a conclusion?
Was it a realization?
It was both.
What was your hypothesis
before resulting
that it didn't have
a lot of sodium in it
and it was proven wrong?
Dude, what about a saltless turkey?
It's got like 3,000 grams of sodium.
Yeah.
110% of your daily
in like one stick.
Rowan's always got
biltong on deck.
Yeah.
I keep a biltong tree in my backyard.
I fucking make it fresh.
I'll just slap some fresh meat up there.
And you can biltong anything.
Can you biltong anything?
You can biltong any meat.
I don't know what that word is.
It's just meat dried in the sun that you throw in a tree.
Am I lying?
Zah, what's biltong, Zah?
How would you classify it?
It's, I guess, our version of jerky, but a little healthier.
So it's pretty much just straight up salt.
How do you know it's healthier?
Because we don't put anything but salt on it.
Salt and you just dry it.
And what do you just like hang it in the tree?
Yeah, you just put a brick of salt, a fist of salt on the meat,
and you just put it on top of your roof for like a week.
You just lay it on the roof.
Like a solar panel.
Tacos and Titties official
is sending us hats.
Yes!
There's an account
that KB follows
called Tacos and Titties.
Tacos and Titties official.
Give them a follow.
How many followers
do they have?
Tell them I sent you.
What's this payola?
This payola shit.
Are you doing payola right now?
I ain't doing payola.
It sounds like payola.
It sounds like somebody's
jamming money in your pocket so you can eat.
They're next up.
Are they?
How many followers do they have?
1,400.
Not enough.
1,400?
2,700.
Let's get them to 3K.
This is Instagram, not Twitter?
It's Instagram.
Let's show equal love to the tacos and the titties.
Yes.
And I've noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post.
I did like the titties.
For every titty post Kyle likes, he likes two taco posts. And that's what you noticed, Kyle, I saw you like to titty post. I did like the titty. For every titty post
Kyle likes, he likes
two taco posts.
And that's what you
do.
It's like when you
cut down a tree.
I just follow tacos
and titties.
Follow for the best
tacos and best titties.
Then they're not wrong.
Do you guys want to
try and play the game?
Tacos look...
These are great tacos.
You want to play the game?
You're not going to
talk about the titties?
Oh, yeah.
So me and Kyle play
this game called
Tacos or Titties. You click one, you have to guess which. Oh, yeah. I want to play that. Well, those not going to talk about the titties? Oh, yeah. So me and Kyle play this game called Tacos or Titties.
You click one, and you have to guess which.
Oh, yeah.
I want to play that.
Well, those are tacos.
That's tacos, yeah.
Boy, there's some curveballs.
That's titties.
That is indeed titties.
But the titties aren't the focal point.
Anis Paul had sent me.
Yeah, we talk about tacos and titties a lot.
But we did find something.
Look at that.
Neither.
And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while.
Oh, wow.
That's just queso. And that's what they like to do to you every once in a while. Oh, wow. That's just queso.
And that's quesadilla.
Oh, that's a taco bowl.
It's a great looking meal.
There is something we need to get to the bottom of.
And Kyle, should we do it right now?
Yeah, I think we can.
Click on the third post.
Fourth now.
Fourth.
Oh, fifth.
Fifth.
Yeah, mesita.
And why don't you go ahead and scroll right.
This has been my favorite page, my favorite niche page for years.
Go again.
That's Frankie Borelli.
What's he doing on Talkies and Titties Official?
Dude, I know.
I know.
And now you see he's on Talkies and Titties Official.
Should we get him in?
I invented them.
I founded them.
Everybody's tagged, but Frankie's on it.
I think he untagged himself from Tacos and Titties.
Can you go get Frankie?
And can you scroll away and not tell him what we're doing
and kind of let him come to that conclusion on his own?
So that was a little twist we found on Tacos and Titties official.
That there's Frankie.
Have you guys ever seen Ass Galaxy?
Ass Galaxy?
And it's like pictures of ass and pictures of astronauts.
And you have to kind of pick which one.
Is it like super zoomed in?
No, it's just kind of like this.
It's just like a picture of John Glenn or a picture of a bulbous ass.
And it's a similar concept.
I didn't realize that there's kind of a subsect of crossover accounts
that have a little bit of knowledge or foodie stuff
and a little bit of titties
or a little bit of ass,
a little TNA.
We should do a yak Instagram
where it's either a yak quote
or just a picture of a pussy.
A gate.
Just fully spread.
Yeah, that sounds real nice.
Wait, so how are we going to play
this Borelli thing?
We're going to show him.
Just ask if he's ever seen the page.
I don't know.
Did they start on the page or the picture?
Let's see the page first.
Okay.
Just have the page up.
We'll just randomly have the page up.
Yeah.
He's going to have to fucking answer.
He's going to have to answer some shit for this.
Also, big homo.
Homeowner. He's a big homeowner. Oh, yeah. He's going to have to answer some shit for this. Also, big homo. Homeowner.
He's a big homeowner.
he is.
He's a huge homeowner.
He just bought a house.
Yeah.
He just bought a fucking
fat,
big house,
walk-in closet.
0.5 acres.
Where is it at?
Jacuzzi in the backyard.
What's the address?
No Borelli.
No Borelli?
He's probably chilling
at his house.
He honestly probably
is chilling at his house.
A fucking nice-ass house.
Do you hear this?
Frankie Borelli has a fucking jacuzzi in his backyard.
He's sitting on a fucking half acre, and he's got a walk-in closet.
Did he get handed the house?
I don't like that.
No, he grinded his ass off and lived at home.
Homeowner.
Yeah.
Homeowner.
Jim Parsons.
Oh, fuck.
No, I can't wait to go to Frankie's place.
I'm going to bring a bunch of wands if I want to sip of water.
Housewarming.
We're going to have a housewarming party for Frankie Borelli at his house.
And it's going to be fantastic.
I'm just going to keep looking at the tacos.
Yeah, I guess we can pull the count back up.
We're not going to switch.
They need more taco engagement.
No, no, no.
TJ, we need more taco engagement.
Feedback on the taco.
That's not a taco.
Do their titty posts do better than their taco? That's a queso fundido. We have noticed that the titties do perform better than the taco. That's not a taco. There was no titties in that. Did their titty posts do better than their taco?
That's a queso fundido.
So we have noticed that the titties do perform better than the tacos.
We've been monitoring the growth of the account.
That's the titties, for example.
But here we have the tacos.
No comments.
Wait, wait.
What's your guys' favorite taco?
The burritos.
So their first post, would you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty?
Well, that's a taco. Well, that's not their first post. I you like to guess if it's a taco or a titty? Well, that's a taco.
Well, that's not their first post.
I'd say taco.
How far back are they?
I'd say it starts with a taco.
It starts with a taco, as it should.
It starts with tacos.
I've seen a lot of ass, which is where it's throwing me off.
Well, the ass is the titties.
That was definitely ass right there, yes.
Now that.
I'm seeing a lot of just only ass.
And the butthole is the nipple of the back.
Yes, that's right
The areola
Areola
A lot of birria wow
Easy on the birria
Maybe a little mahi
You can tell
You can see the stage where they had to overcome some adversity
It's just a black box
They did post a black square
They did post a black square
That's the first post.
That's not even a great picture of tacos.
They could have turned the orientation, but
that's definitely their picture.
That's a homemade picture.
They were so excited about those.
This was March 25th, 2020. How'd they go out to a restaurant?
You haven't been following them for years.
Yeah, but I was...
When they were founded, I was...
I stamped it.
So right when COVID started, they decided to start a Tacos and Titties account.
That's what they need.
What do the hats look like?
They were confused with the orientation, but as was I with my own until I followed this path.
You sorted it all out.
After seeing one taco, you realize you were gay.
My favorite part is you would go into a Tacos and Titties account expecting to see some senoritas, some Latina queens and their titties.
No, it's only white women.
It's only white women on the Tacos and Titties.
And then when we first followed it, it was just Tacos and Titties.
But then a few unofficial accounts started popping up.
Yeah, now they had to add official to the name.
And so this is the official Tacos and Titties account. There are unofficial accounts? popping up. Yeah, now they had to add official to the name. What do you mean? And so this is the official Tacos and Titties account.
There are unofficial accounts?
There are fake accounts, yes.
They were stealing valor out here?
Brandon, do you follow them?
I just did.
They all did.
I just did.
I'm going to throw them a follow right now.
I announced it when I did it.
Oh, they're about to be at 3K.
What do their hats look like, though?
I think...
Wearable?
Or were you just...
Does it have a picture of tacos or titties?
I think it just says tacos and titties.
That's what my guess would be.
I might have to make them a new logo.
I'd like to get two hats.
One taco, one titty.
What should the tacos and titties logo be?
Wow, you're the logo guy.
Tacos shaped like titties?
A busty taco?
Yeah, maybe a busty-ass taco.
Like two tacos like this?
I don't want to add anything to a taco.
Like holding tacos like you would hold a titty?
Have you guys looked at the boomerangs?
How do you hold a titty?
I do it from the top.
I do it like a stinky sock.
Like a pair of swim trunks that I'm about to throw into the dirty clothes.
Have you guys looked at the boomerangs on the list?
Sorry, what boomerangs?
Top of titties don't get enough love.
Yeah, no one wants to see top titties.
Well, I guess cleavage, they have a whole name for it.
Yeah, that's a brand.
But side titty, under titty, those have all had a renaissance in the last 10 to 15.
I think seatbelt titty is next up.
When the seatbelt goes between the two titties. I think seatbelt titty is next up. When the seatbelt
goes between the two titties.
I don't think it's on deck.
I think there's people who...
That's the cousin
of purse titty.
Purse titty where you
have the strap going through.
Seatbelt is the evolution of that.
We're man-backed
to clutches,
so we've lost that.
Yeah, that ruins that.
The fucking clutch.
What are the boomerangs, though?
I was just wondering
if you guys saw
the boomerangs
on their page.
No, I haven't.
Very sexual.
Oh, no.
And tacos and titties
are involved in all of them.
Really?
All in one.
Sour cream.
Just dumping some guac
down the front.
Some pico de gallo.
The boomerangs are up top.
Wait, you pussies didn't say
what your favorite tacos were.
Oh, there's tacos on that page?
What's she doing?
Oh, that is sexual.
All right, I guess she could handle me.
All right.
Okay, tacos.
And we got both.
What is that, calamari?
Is that a calamari taco?
Did they put an onion ring on a taco?
What the fuck?
They should put onion rings around tacos to keep them together.
Can we just have that one playing the whole time?
Put the fucking onion ring on top of the taco?
How?
How is that going to work?
Onion rings are inconvenient.
You also have to hold an onion ring firmly to make sure it doesn't fall apart.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Much like a taco.
You bite it and it strings apart.
I feel like there's too much structural, a lack of integrity structurally
for you to be able to put an onion ring on top of a taco.
Favorite tacos. That is a good one. I'm trying to think.
I like the Indian ones from Taco Mahal.
Oh, what kind of those?
Taco Mahal? A tikka kind of those? Taco Mahal?
A tikka masala taco, and it's just wrapped in naan instead of...
There's nothing taco about it.
You guys are just not talking tacos anymore.
It's from Taco Mahal.
Dude, but anything's a taco.
If you really fucking look at it.
Anything's a fucking sandwich if you fucking look at it right.
Come on.
I like carne asada, and I also like fish tacos, but I need it filleted, though.
I don't want to fucking, like, crumbles of fish.
Do you like a good shrimp taco?
I do, but I like it, but I don't love it.
Y'all know I've been on my barbacoa tip.
For real?
Yeah.
I'm an al pastor guy.
Oh, that's what I meant, not carne asada.
That's pork, right?
Yeah, al pastor is the best.
When they shave it off of the fucking spit.
Come on, now.
I like a good steak taco.
I had the best taco I had in New York City in Chinatown two weeks ago.
Shut up.
Duck?
No.
It was just a regular...
No.
Duck?
Goose.
Is that what you were going for?
No, I was just thinking
duck, duck, goose.
You've been on a big duck wave.
I'm on a duck wave.
And you don't use silverware
when you eat it.
When I eat duck?
No.
It's like a wing.
You have a lot of waves going on.
Spearheaded by Islam.
I'm going to get waves in my head.
You should.
We should be wavy one episode.
It's going to take a while.
It's going to take a lot of do-rag time for the boys to get waves.
Nah, double up.
You couldn't tie it tight enough, though.
Me?
You're notoriously bad not-tire.
Can't loop, swoop, and pull.
Or bunny ears.
I can't.
I know. I for sure watched aop, and pull. Or bunny ears. I can't. I know.
I for sure watched a YouTube video of a white dude getting waves.
Can we see a white guy wave check?
Wave check videos, they had their fucking day, and they were some of the best videos.
Just the excitement.
I still love a haircut video.
A good haircut video is great.
But the wave check where it's like a big assass group of people and they're all taking off their...
They're all popping off
their do-rags.
Gassing each other up
like...
You know,
the ones I love too
are the ones where
they comb the waves back.
Like they ruin them.
Can we get a yak do-rag
in the store?
Who could get
the waviest in here?
Do we have anybody that could get wavy?
Sass with waves would be hilarious.
You might underneath that.
I do.
What would you do one day if I just pulled?
I was thinking it would be funny if one day I just pulled it back and there's just no hair.
I'm just completely bald here.
Except the only hair is behind my head.
Just shoot.
She's got the Todd Packer.
The horseshoe.
It would be legendary. You truly would be a fucking legend
Um
Pop Punk this Friday
Connecticut
Um
Are you sharp?
No
We had practice
Yesterday we had practice today
We're gonna get sharp tonight
Did you add a new member
Or is that
Nick Hamilton
Nick Hamilton is in the fucking mix now.
That's dope.
KFC radio producer and all around very hardworking guy.
Yeah.
He's the one who's here.
Hardest worker in the building.
And that's fucking facts, bro.
Not a fucking ounce of cap on that.
Granted, that's not saying much.
Nobody fucking works hard around here.
But when I come in here at like 1250 and I'm like headed out right after the act, I still see him here.
What are you doing?
Burning the candle at both ends.
He's fucking addicted to the grind.
We need to have an intervention for him, bro.
But yeah, he fucking loves it.
And he's a very dope and multi-talented musician.
He's going to really round it out.
What does he plan?
A little keyboard. Oh. And a little guitar. Oh. So's going to really round it out. What does he plan? A little keyboard and a little guitar.
So we're going to have two guitars.
Like a little guitar?
A very tiny guitar.
Like a Hawaiian.
What's the word?
Yooka-Laylee?
Yooka-Laylee.
He's playing Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
That's beautiful.
Ron, you still got the safety on that lighter?
You don't smoke weed.
I don't even think this is my lighter.
I think it was just here, but it's going to be mine now. mine why would it have been here i don't know maybe it was there on top
of your phone i think it came i think my phone came like this i think it was just there yeah
how about that detroit self-defense guy oh i love him i love him he's having his moment dude you see
the video where he's like he's been doing that for like 10 years? Yeah, I think they're all just like old clips of him.
I think that's what Aikido is.
I think that Aikido, the martial art, requires you to know how to do Aikido to be able to do it.
You have to attack a certain way.
All his videos are like if someone's coming at you like this and you just hit him on the back of the head.
I'm going to share with you right now what to do if a striker fire weapon is pinning against your chest, against the wall, and a criminal is holding you at bay.
And the reason why they're doing this is because this is how they search you for weapons, how they're going to take things from you,
also how they're going to harm you physically, keep you from running or pulling out a weapon, is by getting close and pinning you to a wall or to a car.
In this case, it's striker fire, so there's no hammer in the back.
So the first thing we're gonna do,
since we can't move out of the way,
we can't move offline,
and if I were to try to move this,
as soon as he saw my hand move, he's gonna fire.
So we have to make this weapon not fire.
And to give an example, the human reaction time,
when he sees me move, he's gonna fire.
Well, that was before.
So the reason why it didn't move, the slide didn't slide,
is because I inhibited it by pushing it to the rear.
From there, what we do is push the barrel back
towards the aggressor, and now you have the weapon.
And you just pin them down to the ground using their
finger, taking them under control.
Shot him twice before that. He did get
shot twice. None of that
would work. My favorite one is
the one where they're running in the circle. Can we find that one?
Yes, where it's like, hang on a little longer. I have not seen the circle. Can we find that one? Yes, when it's like 10 guys attacking him.
I have not seen this guy.
Have you seen that one?
I wonder how many
people he's got killed.
He's like the new
low-hanging fruit
for reaction YouTubers.
He's easy to make fun of.
Which we are.
We are reaction YouTubers.
We're doing it now.
I guess so, yeah.
That's what we have
evolved into, yeah.
You guys are going to
love the one where
he's running in the circle.
It's hysterical.
Is he completely serious?
Dude, he has a car with his logo on it.
It's like Steven Seagal.
It's the same vibe.
It's like something Steven Che would do.
He would sign up for.
Yeah, it is.
It was a very good class.
It was very informative.
If you go to any self-defense class, what are you expecting?
You know that I had Spider take an active shooting class?
Yeah, Spider is our last line of defense.
What, does he shoot back?
Is he going to shoot back?
I don't think he...
He said he didn't really take away much from the meeting.
Oh, you're pretty much fucked.
Gabe, you should teach a self-defense class for women.
For women?
Just tell them to sit down.
Oh, shit.
Ladies, take a seat.
All right, you're good to go.
That was an observation that I made, not a joke.
What was your observation?
Well, statistically, it's your...
We get it.
We got it.
If you're sitting in a chair...
Just run the Dolph back.
You might be good.
Yeah.
Is that true?
I've never seen anybody sitting down getting beat up.
It's true.
We're going to share with you right now some ways you can keep someone from having contact
with your family, your friends, or if you want to keep an aggressor away from someone who is going to be victimized.
He is jacked.
In the case of a bodyguard, how you keep someone away from your client, in very simple ways.
See natural sense?
Aggressor comes forward, we go right here to the forehead.
That's right to the temple.
Another option we have, we don't want to be aggressive, we go right to the elbows, which gives us elbow control, and now we can guide them away nicely.
If they're aggressing, another option we have is to take our hand here,
go right, move forward, and take our hand under the nose.
Another option we have is to take our hand under the lip, press down.
Going forward, we take our hand like this, right inside of the esophagus.
These are simple ways you can increase your survivability.
Dude, that's not even what I was thinking of.
It was like 10 guys
attacking him at once.
He's just slowly walking around
all of them as they all try and attack
him.
Truly incredible. Reminds me of Travis Matthew.
Yeah, it does.
It does. Very much does.
We don't have to read for it.
It's 20% off if you use
the code YAK20.
I'm obsessed with their joggers.
I wore them to my women's workout class yesterday,
and all the ladies were aghast at how fucking thick my ass looked.
It's not thick, but it was just in the Travis Matthews.
It will make your ass look fucking plump.
I was wearing the Travis Matthew hat right now.
I love their hats.
Their hats are awesome.
Yeah, he's been wearing that all morning.
Love their hats.
Body-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy.
It fits perfectly on your Zara. Perfect. hats. Body-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy-yaddy. It fits perfectly on you, Zah.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Get them.
That logo's crazy.
Because it's like a three.
It reminds me of B4-4.
That's right.
That sick-ass band.
I had Rex Orange County as my number one.
Wow.
The number one song.
Just loving is easy.
It's a claymation music video
I like to skip around
The fucking city
And listen to that shit
And be fucking joyous as fuck
You do skip around the city a lot
I'm fucking joyous bro
I'm fucking
Oof
Life's happening fucking
From me bro
Shit's radiating from me
It's dope
You're like Ferris Bueller over there
I am like Ferris Bueller
And you're like Cam
Yeah Yeah Realistically You're like Ferris Bueller over there. I am like Ferris Bueller, and you're like Cam. Yeah, realistically.
You're the impressionist of the group.
Just depressed.
Skipping is an efficient way to get from point A to point B.
Skipping is so efficient.
So efficient, but we don't do it.
We skip rope.
Why are you skipping rope?
I think we jump rope.
Nick, skip the mile.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Look in a circle.
Try to block.
Try to hit.
That's not going to work.
So if they try to grab and then try to attack you and you try to back up, this is what's going to happen.
As you try to back up, you're going to get swarmed and you're still going to be dominated and you're going to lose.
What you should do is this.
He didn't do anything.
He didn't do anything You're able to attack
Each attacker individually
He's a fucking shark
He's a genius
That would result in immediate death
There was a tweet that was like
This kid and he was like
My mom dated this dude
When I was like 10 years old
And he put us through all the training.
And the dude's probably grown up to be Michael B. Jordan or something like that.
He's probably the most.
If the gun is to the rear of your head, hand here to the column, drive away.
That could work.
What?
Who that shit want to go work? It's true Because people are out here dying
People are out here dying
God that's tough
I had Drake as my top artist
And then it was like
How do you check top artist three
was low bit three was meek four was low baby five was freddy gibbs but two was phoebe bridgers
rapper all four rappers and then phoebe bridge was in there just fucking singing about kyoto
i'm dying to get to kyoto i am too. Phoebe Bridgers went there. Phil Knight went there in Shoe Dogs.
Nike guy?
Yeah.
You ever read Shoe Dogs?
I never read Shoe Dogs.
I think you'd like it.
I might like Shoe Dogs.
You're well-read.
Is it like War Dogs?
Both shoes?
Yeah, kind of.
You're going to have to Google Spotify Raps and then click on the link.
Jesus Christ, dude.
Kyle, this is kind of spoilerish, and I probably shouldn't talk about it,
but the questions you wrote for tomorrow's dozen matches geography questions
based on the interstates are insane.
I bet they're impossible.
They're insane.
Okay, no, they aren't.
Yes, they are.
What do you mean they're insane?
They're insane.
Who would know that?
Who would know that?
We missed.
You can go by the interstate.
It goes from blank to blank cities,
and you guess the biggest city in between those.
I just feel like who's going to know that?
What's the biggest city along I-40?
I have no idea.
That wasn't the question.
There was the point A and point B cities.
But I used different.
And you can use like.
Well, I-40 goes from North Carolina to California.
What's the biggest city?
I don't know.
Nashville, maybe?
Your frame of reference is just different from everybody else's.
You just have a broader frame of reference.
Nothing wrong with it.
It's actually quite inspiring.
It is.
Did anybody get those questions?
No, but we had our second guess was right.
The one we didn't go with was right.
Nice. Did the other team steal it? Oh, they did not. No, but we had our second guess was right. The one we didn't go with was right. Nice.
Did the other team steal it?
Oh, they did not.
No, no.
We were playing cons in Casey, so they didn't get much.
No?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
My number two song was Pink Pantheress.
Really?
You know Pink Pantheress?
I don't.
What's that about?
Is that about a pussy?
No, it's the name of the artist.
It's like a Pink Panther, but a Pantheress, like a woman Panther.
I used to think that the movie Pink Panther had an actual Panther in it,
but then I realized that that's what...
The cartoon does.
Yeah.
But isn't that like a commercial for something?
Owen's Corning fiber installation.
Oh, that's what it is?
That was a Pink Panther, but there was also a Pink Panther.
And who played the Pink Panther?
Well, Steve Martin played in the remake, but it was the French guy, right?
Jacques Cousteau?
No, he's the oceaner.
No, but that was the name of the Pink Panther.
No, it wasn't.
Clouseau.
Inspector Clouseau.
But it was Jacques, wasn't it?
But it wasn't Cousteau.
It was Clouseau.
Clouseau.
Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau. But it was Jacques, wasn't it? But it wasn't Cousteau. It was Clouseau. Clouseau. Inspector Clouseau, Jacques Cousteau.
You could see why I would conflate the two.
They're similar.
Oh, yesterday I was on the train, and there was a woman across from me, and she was talking
loudly in French, and she was crying hysterically.
And everybody else on the train got up, but I was-
Did you call your wife and see her?
No, I was in trance because French is a beautiful language to cry in.
Yeah.
To cry in?
Yeah, it was stunning to watch.
I don't know what she was crying about.
I would have talked to her, but she was talking in French.
It's a very throttle.
She's crying in a different language?
Well, she was talking in French, and she would stop and she would sob every now and then.
Merci, mes coups.
Je m'appelle Edouard.
She was clearly arguing with somebody in French, and then she would occasionally.
Probably her French lover who was wantonly cheating on her.
Oh, yeah.
Because that's how they do shit over there.
Is that the only way?
Well, they're over here.
But she might have been on the phone on a long distance.
It might have been at night.
He was probably calling her up while he was cheating just to be like, baby, I'm getting
some strange.
Fuck you you Stranger
you ever watch
Emily in Paris
any of you
please watch
Emily in Paris
show's fire right
the whole thing
the show's fire
what do you guys do
it's terrible
I think the title
the show's supposed to rhyme
it's Emily in Paris
yes
Emily in Paris
but uh
it's a good show
we ain't in Paris bro
what is your move when you make your girl cry in an argument
I haven't done it in years
I always say you did this to yourself
Oh you're crying now
Don't fuck it
Oh you're gonna cry now
Oh you're gonna try to make me feel like the bad guy
Cause you're crying
Don't fucking cry
Now this is a thing
Now this is a whole thing
This could have been a conversation
But you made it an argument
I like to cry harder
I like to just over sob
Over whatever they're doing
I just take it to fucking 10
We're in fucking public
Get it together
Get it together
Last fucking time
We're at the blue man group
Stop crying
You love the blue man group
Damn it Fucking blue man group You haven't. You love the blue man group, damn it.
Fucking blue man group.
You haven't made your wife cry in years.
It's been a while.
So far.
What about big guy moves?
There's a certain element of, you know, the first years of marriage,
you have good arguments.
By 15, which we're at, it's, you know. You're broken.
We know how to avoid arguments and how to avoid all confrontation.
We just, you know.
Push it down.
You know, it's loveless, it's argulous, it's everything.
Yeah, loveless.
Yeah.
Yeah, so.
That's when you know a marriage is fine.
Once it gets to the point of lovelessness, you're safe.
No divorce.
Once it's time to fight, I just pretty much go watch TV.
That's incredible.
I'm proud of you guys.
Thanks.
Nah, you know what?
What was that
Go ahead and make your wife cry
You want her to cry tonight
Yeah fuck it
We can make my wife cry tonight
What do y'all want me to do
Strip a cheat on her
I don't think I'll make her cry
Nah that wouldn't work
She'd be like
Get out of jail free card
And a divorce win
Should I get fired
I don't think she'd try
Yeah
Tell her you're moving to
What place would be worse than this
L.A.
There is no place Say you're moving to L. would be worse than this la no there's a moving to la
She wouldn't like that
Yeah, okay. Okay. We're tell her you love her. Oh, yeah
I'm the teller. I'm the best you can get
Yeah, I can't leave. What are you expecting? And you're also great Brandon. You're tall you have high hair
You're successful and you're a family man who loves his fucking wire
Why are the why the gay guys looking at you so hard?
I don't know, but he has a picture on his phone.
Of Nick.
This is a live show, Joey.
Yeah, why are the gay guys just stopping in the hallway and staring you down?
A picture of you got sent to us, Nick, and you're going to want to see it.
We're going to want to see it.
All of us are going to want to see it.
Oh, Jesus.
This isn't me.
This is you and KB, and I have the proof.
We're looking at tacos and titties.
Enough.
Let's pull up tacos and titties
and see if we can change these boys' minds.
You have to Venmo us and publicity.
Why don't you come in here?
Or talk about this car for $300.
Okay, never mind. This is a straight room in here? My face isn't in there. Or talk about gift cards for $300. Down, down, down.
Okay, never mind.
This is a straight room.
We could turn those boys straight in five minutes.
Straight jacket.
There's no fucking...
That's Travis Matthew.
We'll have those boys straight in no time.
We'll have those boys fucking going to Hooters.
What is this?
What is this?
Where is it?
We can't show that on television.
That's not me.
Oh, God.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Is an eye in it too?
That could be anybody.
No, someone sent us a random picture of KB and Nick
when they were in high school.
Yeah.
And now we are requesting.
You have a picture of naked high school me on your phone.
30.
Well, you're 18.
We know it took you a while.
No, no. We're requesting a $ a while to... 18 at a time.
We're requesting
a $30 Venmo
to us and publicity
to not expose it.
No, I'd like
publicity to expose that.
See how that works for
exposing Nick's asshole.
Oh, that's just my...
You can't tell
that's my butthole?
I didn't say that,
but you think she has?
I don't know.
I think a butthole
is like a fun one.
We were saying
the butthole is the nipples of the back.
I don't know what you guys think.
I'd agree.
Titties are the...
Trish?
I agree as well.
Nick, the ball's in your court.
We're going to go record.
Let us know.
You have an hour to let us know.
Wait.
$30 to take the ball.
Is this a metaphorical ball?
No.
Are you still thinking about doing that surgery?
Drinking wine?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, we should plug that.
We have an episode coming out tomorrow,
but we're doing a plastic surgery episode
where we're giving Botox and filler
to a bunch of people in the office.
You guys are all over that.
Pat, let me get a sip of water.
I'm thirsty.
But I thought you were going to get
some other surgery, Pat.
I was going to get top surgery.
What's that mean?
You're going to get titties?
Titties taken off.
Joe, you need top surgery.
Is it water?
Look at it.
Literally a top surgery.
That's fire.
But that's because he had gyno.
What's that? Gyno clematis where you have bitch tits it. Literally had top surgery. That's fire. But that's because he had gyno. What's that?
Gyno clematis is where you have bitch tits.
I like your boxers.
That's fucking fire.
They say I love beer.
Well, this has been fun guys.
I thought you were going to shave your Adam's apple off or some shit.
Yeah, shave it down.
I was doing facial feminization.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Facial feminization.
What the fuck is that?
Okay.
Just no scars.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
His ass is homophobic.
Big time.
You didn't say a word, brother.
You kind of cowered a little bit.
I know, I did.
Why do you have two hands guarding your penis as if they were going to grab it up at any second?
He was walking in here.
Give me a piece of spaghetti.
He's ravenous.
Honestly, I wanted to see the picture of KB
and Nick and then they
didn't show it to me.
You're good.
I would argue it's
not us.
You're good.
It was two open
buttholes.
Two guys on all four
in a hotel room.
That's funny, though.
I would want to see
that just to laugh.
Yo, let me see that
just to giggle
Show me that because it's like
We literally did have your friend in to show his balls though
To laugh and giggle
See you're pluralizing
I think you're talking down to me when you're pluralizing
It's one ball
One of the things that drives me craziest
And it will forever
Is that people think that I was making Ruiz up
Well you were making Ruiz up
I wonder why they think that I was making Ruiz up. Well, you were making Ruiz up. I wonder why they think that.
Yeah.
There's reasons that I didn't bring in Ruiz, okay?
Yeah, because he has a tiny nutsack.
Then you put him in fake prison.
Yeah, your boy's got a tiny...
You not only made him...
He has raisin nuts.
You put him in fake prison.
You made him a fake criminal.
That was a lie excuse, but he is real.
That excuse was better than why he couldn't actually come.
Yeah, that's true.
Did you guys see the guy
on Reddit that might have
a ball that can challenge Nick's guy?
We got a big ball?
A guy on Reddit? What do you mean?
There was a Reddit.
Ever since that happened,
there have been a ton of guys sending me their nuts.
Don't do that. Send that to
Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle?
I forget. Send him your balls. Barstool Pat, right? No, do that. Send that to Pat. What's Pat's Twitter handle? I forget.
Send him your thing
as Barstool Pat, right?
Barstool Pat, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
My buddy Pat.
Did we ever say his name
when he was on the show?
No, just Pat, I think.
Okay.
There's a stranger waiting
for you in the dark.
Rough and Rowdy
next week as well.
Rough and Rowdy's about
to be fucking electric
December 10th.
Pumped.
Where is it?
December 10th.
Charleston?
Charleston, West Virginia.
Charlestown?
Charleston.
What's the difference, Gabby?
Are you guys going?
Fuck it.
I would love to go.
I would love to do something like that sometime.
Wouldn't Frank used to always do those tweets?
Always, yeah.
I would love to do this.
I would love to be a
part of this someday.
When you go are you
going to wrap.
Are you going to wrap
your guy.
You'll be team.
Yeah I'll be in the
news corner.
One hundred percent.
What corner is Caleb
going to be in.
You see ASAP Rocky
commented on Caleb's
video.
Hey sat.
Laura Flocka.
Fucking pretty boy.
I hope he could get that pretty motherfucker on his Sunday conversation.
That would be cool.
That would be fucking fire.
Run some drugs.
Dogs.
Dogs.
Yes.
The bass keeps running, running.
Running, running.
Running, running.
And running, running.
And running, running.
And running, running.
In this context, there's no disrespect.
I'll break my rhymes.
You break your neck. Itch, paw, itch. And running, and running, running. There's no disrespect. I'll break my rhymes. You break your neck.
Hitchpot, hitch.
And running, running.
The feelings are irresistible and that's how you lose it.
How many minutes did you have, Ron?
What, of stand-up?
No.
What?
Spotify wrapped.
Of just how many minutes did I spend this year?
Yeah.
I forget.
Maybe 28,000?
I didn't get that far.
I was in the top 81%.
Really?
Yeah.
Why was it 41%?
It's nothing.
No, no, no.
I was 80% more.
81% more than other people.
Oh, okay.
Wait, why would you inverse that?
What do you mean?
That's not how they give it to you.
Yeah, it is.
They say you're...
I didn't see that, brother.
No, they say you're in like the top 1%.
Yeah. 0.0%. No, I said I would listen to 81%. I wouldn't see that, brother. No, they say you're in the top 1%. Yeah, 0.0%.
No, I said I would listen to 81.
I wouldn't lie about this, but I'll pull it up.
18,000 minutes.
So that's more than 71% of other listeners.
Where do you guys see that?
And they also said the song playing as you proclaim your love in the rain
is Sweet Burgamesque, L75-3 Claire de Lune by Claude Debussy.
Shut the fuck up.
Debussy, huh?
No, do you think I lie about Debussy?
No, I said fuck you for having that.
Why, bro?
This is the shit I listen to, bro.
You don't like Debussy?
I like Debussy, and also Off the Yak by Young Ma is the song I would play if I was defeated
in ancient vengeful spirit.
Every time I search Off the Yak to see who they want off our show, that comes up.
Yeah, Young Ma.
You search who wants off the show.
I'm off the yak.
Who do I got? Oh, Big Cat.
Azalea Banks.
Big Wild. Dido.
Kiara. Come on in.
Come in for one minute. He's Travis Matthewed out.
He's Travis Matthewed out.
Head to toe.
Matthew check. Get a little Matthew check.
Travis Matthew.
Travis Matthew. Matthew Hell yes brother
What's up boys
What's up legend
Legend
Alright that's our show
Yeah perfect
Thanks for being here today everyone
It's the act It's your straws, yeah, style, it's tape, for a while, it's the act. It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk, shop, and do a Yankee pop.
It's the act.
It's the act. We'll see you next time.