The Yak - Ohio's Tate is Here for His First Day at Barstool HQ | The Yak 3-11-24
Episode Date: March 11, 2024He didn't even look to see where the wedding was...You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit bars...tool.link/barstoolyak
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. I'm fucking a bitch like I always do But I feel like a change, I've been pretty blunt
So I pull my dick out and wait for my cue
Then I jam my fucking dick in where she makes poo
I'm thrusting real hard, I'm thrusting real quick
Then I pull my cock out and let her give it a lick
The look on her face looks like she's gonna be sick
Looks like I had some
Dew on my dick, dew on my dick
Dew on my dick, dew on my dick Dew on my dick, dew on my dick Get back here.
That was fucking incredible.
We got to watch that again.
Welcome to the Yak.
Roback.com.
Promo code Yak.
20% off your first purchase. Cues this. Pull those hoodies. Jomo code Yak. 20% off your first purchase.
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Polos, hoodies, joggers, shorts.
Holy shit, that was awesome.
Who made that, TJ?
If that's Will Sparks.
God damn it, Will.
Yes.
That's a Sparks production.
We got to watch it again.
Oh, I can't do it.
Come on.
That's your favorite.
That's your best song.
That's not saying it much.
It's your best song.
Yeah.
Play it again. i was so ready just
to start the show i can't believe
it's so perfect
that's paisley a buck and a bitch like i always do. But I feel like a change. I've been pretty blue.
So I pull my dick out and wait for my cue.
Then I jam my fucking dick where she makes poo.
I'm thrusting real hard.
I'm thrusting real quick.
Then I pull my cock out and let her give it a lick.
The look on her face looks like she's going to be sick.
Looks like I had some.
Do on my dick.
Do on my dick.
Do on my dick.
Do on my dick. Do on my dick. Do on my dick. Do on my dick. Will Sparks, what a hero.
You know, Nick, this could have been avoided if you just listened to the show.
We planned that.
I was on an airplane.
That was perfect. Welcome back thanks guys feels really good to be back do on the dick was by far our favorite uh
do you like doing my i love i was making love yeah that's the arabic one yeah i'm a fat
bitch's bounce guy yeah yeah for sure it came out to that all weekend in Madison. It was great. Did you?
Great job.
Great job.
Will Sparks, a weapon.
Yeah.
Yeah, he is.
How's everybody?
Good.
We got a lot to talk about.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah.
I don't even know where we want to start.
Maybe we'll just leave the Mincy for later because we do have him tracked.
Yeah.
Where's he at right now?
Which is a nice wrinkle that TJ was just when Mincy dropped this video about how he went to the wrong wedding.
Wrong wedding venue, yeah.
TJ immediately texted all of us and was like, look, I'm watching him literally have to move to another location.
To another one.
He came up to me this morning he
was like you guys are gonna have a great show about me today no so yeah let's save it oh he's
getting cocky uh-huh let's not give him the satisfaction let's let's wait for that do you
guys want to figure out where the fuck Kate Middleton is uh not on this earthly realm do you
think she's dead she's perishedished. Or she's somewhere practicing Photoshop.
Did you see that?
Yes.
And she said she's like a hobbyist of Photoshop.
She literally went with like graphic design is my passion.
That's the excuse she went with.
Yeah.
And she's dead?
So she could be dead, comatose, or just out of the family?
Or BBL.
Or she had botched surgery.
Plastic surgery got botched and they're trying to fix it.
Now, can you put the picture up, TJ, of the one that they...
I didn't even know...
So they posted a Mother's Day picture,
which England has a different Mother's Day.
That makes no sense.
Zero sense.
And then also, then they took it down.
And then I think the monarch can just tell the press to
delete it they literally sent out like a message being like delete this whoa yeah they have that
power it's also a very funny picture because you don't know if it's bad photoshop or ugly kids
inbred kids yeah you know that's kind of a toss-up yeah are they inbred well they are what
are you talking about right now uh kate middleton she's dead possibly so she's a oh my god yeah
she posted this picture yesterday on her instagram and then everyone was like hey this looks photoshop
look at these mutant kids hands and the weird angles and there was everything they zoomed in
on one of her hands yeah well the hands on both the kid in the green and the kid angles, and everything. They zoomed in on one of her hands.
Yeah.
Well, the hands on both the kid in the green and the kid in the red are... Were you here, KB, when we talked about it?
We did, and I kind of didn't think about it too much.
She hasn't been seen in public for a long time.
She's a member of the royal family.
Yeah, but they wouldn't kill a princess.
Someone from the royal family is missing.
She's the queen in waiting.
They haven't seen her since Christmas Eve.
Doesn't she have a big security team?
Yeah, they haven't seen her.
No, it was December 28th.
December 28th, okay.
Does she have loved ones trying to find her?
No, I think she's just...
Well, she's not officially missing.
Yeah, her loved ones are hiding.
What are they saying?
They're saying she's fine.
What's her family saying?
She's fine.
Did you see the theory that her face from that photo,
even her face was on the cover of Vogue?
Sorry.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's her face.
That's just her face.
No, no, no.
They did the thing where they twisted it,
and if you do that, I immediately...
Oh, shit.
They did the twist test.
Yeah, that's legit.
I think we need a green line on it. Look at that. Oh, yeah. They did a twist test. Yeah, that's legit. I think we need a green line on it.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
You do a twist test.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
But they'd have to be smarter than to use a...
That's just her face.
They're clearly not.
They posted a Photoshopped picture and said Mother's Day was yesterday.
So who are the vaguely syndromatic kids she took a picture with?
Those are her children.
Those are real children, but people are accusing that of Photoshop.
Yeah, I think the kids fingers are all like goofed up.
Yeah, but their grandfather's fingers are all fucked up.
Well, again, they're also like from what?
Hundreds of years of fucking each other.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Again, it's like bad Photoshop or inbreeding.
You don't know.
Yeah.
So now we don't know where she is.
It's gone it
would rule so hard if she did a danny boy kane press conference she needs to her family comes
from a they got rich from sex toys right really middletons oh yeah the middletons did they not
i don't know oh look at that i don't know uh what oh you know this what is this there's another
skirt too that's like faded in and out yeah that's from uh autofill on photoshop is the hand that's
not attached to a body not the thing we're looking at there it's yeah that's that's from her though
there's like a gap where there's oh yeah that should be green grass in there, and it's not. And people are saying there's leaves on the trees, but.
It's not nice out.
Right.
I mean, Brandon, you grew up in Mississippi.
You've seen some fucked up kids.
Any hands like that?
Any bad hands?
Is that a thing?
Well, first of all, I don't like the tone of the joke.
Secondly.
It's no joke.
Yes, I have seen bad hands.
Okay.
Seen bad hands, bad ears, bad eyes, bad everything.
Is there one town that's specifically like you were born there, you got bad hands?
No, but it's more out in the country.
Everybody from New Martinsville has a real big head.
They also have a ton of twins.
Twins.
Yeah.
Twins.
You have a ton of twins?
There was a set of twins back out in the country.
What do you mean they have big heads?
Everybody from New Martinsville has a huge head.
They never went to school, but they would always come to the road every time the school bus drove by so they could wave.
They did it for 50 years.
Oh, that's kind of cool.
Well, they were very, very.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn, we got you beat on that front.
West Virginia?
Ugly or inbreed?
I suppose both.
Both.
I think y'all might.
I don't know.
West Virginia was also, wasn't that? We're poor.
What was that movie about the downstream of all the toxic?
The DuPont?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys were right there.
That was in Virginia, wasn't it?
I don't think so.
That was West Virginia, I think.
I never watched that.
What, all the chemicals in the water?
Yeah, they dumped all the Teflon into the river.
Yeah, people were turning on their sinks and it was just fire coming out.
Yeah.
That's kind of sweet, though. Yeah, it were turning on their sinks and it was just fire coming out. That's kind of sweet, though.
Yeah, it's sick.
But yeah, Kate Middleton is dead.
Or BBL.
I'm fascinated now.
You can't just hide someone like this.
So is Kate Mannion about to die?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, Kate, you want to give us an update?
Is her last name known?
Oh, my bad.
Oh, no.
That one is.
That one is. The real one is. The real one, yeah. They should have changed. She has is her last name known oh my bad oh no yeah that one that one is that one is the
real one is the real one yeah they should have changed she has a stage last night she doesn't
have remember she still has her divorce oh you never legally got a change yeah yeah that's a
bitch to do after five years it's like who cares potato potato um no i went on fr Friday and I got a cat skin, x-rays and whatever.
It turns out L1, 2, 3 fractured, L4 fractured.
Can we see a spine real quick?
T8 through 11 fractured.
How are you not paralyzed?
Honest to God question.
Eight fractures, two bulging discs and blood on my spine.
I need quigs to make the big bend graphic.
Wait, you have blood on your spine? Yeah need quigs to make the big Ben graphic. Wait, you have blood on your
spine? Yeah. Don't we all?
I guess it's called
hematoma. I have a large
hematoma. So, second question,
why aren't you in bed right now?
So, at the end of the appointment, I was like,
so they brought in the neurologist, like the final boss
of doctors at the CR appointment, and it
was this young guy, and I was like, so what do I
do? And he was like, you should just drink more vitamin more vitamin d I was like I feel like there should be more that
would piss me off yeah you got you got prescribed vitamin d for eight spinal fractures I told him
my theory that I have osteoporosis like you're too young for that he's like keep doing what you're
done I was like it's always good when you throw a theory at a doctor. I know. All right, wait. Say it again. L.
L1, 2, and 3 are fractured.
And so is L5.
L5.
L4 is okay?
L4 is okay.
But down there is where my two bulging discs are, too.
And then T8 through 11 are also fractured.
Oh, my God.
So everything lower than T8 is fucked up.
The lower half is all fucked up.
Which explains why I haven't been able to lift my son above my hips for three months.
And then what else?
Anything else?
No, that's it.
That's it.
But that's what I got going on.
I think that's the last thing I'd ever want.
The thrill is worn off, I will say.
Yeah.
To be a woman.
Yeah.
But no, now I'm calling calling around i'm making some other
appointments and so you didn't get prescribed anything no i walked out with a pretty clear
cut diagnosis that would have medication you would think because i told him i'm in pain
when is it the worst when you go to bed at night when i get up from laying down
oh i i literally am like a kid that fell me like like and i have to hold on to my legs to walk go back to the spine is it are they like if l4 goes
it's like like the tower collapses i don't know i took like is that you gotta be on yeah like
yeah that has to be the moment like l4 is doing a lot of work right now i can this is gonna sound
crazy but i feel like i'm on the
verge of like snapping in half i took my son to a botanical garden yesterday and there was like
stepping stones and i like kind of did a light leap and i was like why are you doing so much
because they said there's like ask any back person there's really nothing you can do for it
no that's that can't be true i have a back brace are you wearing it no i forgot you forgot
jesus christ yeah i have all these appointments what is your pain at now sitting down sitting
down is fine but like if i turn a certain way basic movements suck and uh riding the car sucks
picking things up sucks get in the bed for like three weeks.
But there's not, being in bed sucks.
Wait, how is it, wait, hold on, hold on.
How is your back going to not be broken anymore, though?
They have, they just said rest?
That's not how bones work.
How far away is the day that everything's fine?
I have no idea.
And how do we get there?
That's so hard to get there.
Like, you can't just be, keep doing what you're doing drink some sunny delight okay yeah
yeah i stoolies have been dming me one stoolie said trust me that when it heals you'll be
stronger than ever so that's camp but that just sounds like something you say to somebody what
are you wolverine i don't know i yeah so i don't really know what to do. I'm trying to make more appointments. So they just said just drink orange juice and milk.
I was like, I know this is TMI.
Did you go to a doctor from like 1920?
I was like, I was asking him, I was like, well, why is this happening?
And he was like, because your estrogen is low after giving birth.
And once earmuffs, once you get your period again, you'll be fine.
And I was like, well, I don't know when that's going to be.
And I don't want my back to keep breaking.
So I need more answers. And he was like like see ya oh i think we got would yeah and you
can you can you take vicodin or is that getting the the the milk uh it does i guess which is why
there's no pain but i was like i'm willing to just switch over uh to formula which i'm trying to do
so i was like oxycontin please yeah um but yeah no i left empty-handed and so i'm sure
we could find some pain medicine i've been taking edibles okay but that's not pain medicine that's
crazy anyway okay on the plus side i will say i do love attention and this has been fantastic for it
yeah so i mean we gotta fix your back i know we are having having a tackling contest on the show I will say I do love attention, and this has been fantastic for it. Yeah.
I mean, we got to fix your back.
I know.
We are having a tackling contest on the show tonight.
What is it, the Omaha drills?
Yeah.
I might go down to spring break and do some of those.
That stresses me out watching that, these damn kids. Do we need to get an EMT on staff with a backboard?
We probably need one.
Yeah, I mean, I think I'll speak for all of us.
Our concern is less with Kate's back
and more of what happens if she just gets paralyzed.
The liability.
Yeah, right.
No, not even the liability.
It's not.
It's just how uncomfortable it's going to be for us
to have to deal with the situation.
It's going to ruin our day.
Yeah.
If you get paralyzed, it will ruin it.
Well, maybe not day.
Because it's like March Madness.
Yeah, right. It's true. But it is like March Madness. Yeah, right.
But it's like
at least an hour or two.
Until lunch. An hour is a lot.
Until you order your next food.
That's about what...
Do you guys have a disability insurance
through work? I just got it. What is that?
If I were to get disabled at work, I am rich
beyond belief. Oh, pelt me with those eggs.
Do you want us to disable you? That sounds like you want us.
I didn't say that legally.
Disable and wheel.
How would you get... Wait, how much money
do you have if you become disabled?
I think like low six figs.
How disabled do you need to get?
I would say low six figs.
That's rich beyond belief.
Wait, so this is only if you get paralyzed at work.
No, not paralyzed.
What's the lowest disabled?
I'd like to talk to whoever gave you this insurance,
because you are already disabled at work.
You're walking disabled.
Very overt disability.
Everything you say is a disabled person's thought
yeah i'm just saying i noticed a large amount come out of our
did the person realize like what's the it's like giving a concussion test like
yeah we need a baseline i think the baseline's already way off yeah did the insurance company
watch celebrity guesser and be like this guy's fine? Yeah, right.
Or like see you. What more proof
do they need? Do you need one of those hats
that have the propeller on top?
Actually, Jay, we could get you
the disabled insurer. We just show him the JJ
Watt tweet. We're like, he's disabled now.
Where's the check?
Here's one million dollars.
Who tweeted this?
Yeah, who cleared you, dude?
This person's brain is gone.
I stand by that tweet.
It wasn't that bad.
Yeah, we could make a case for you being disabled right now
and probably get you paid tomorrow.
I have some news.
We probably all could.
Yeah.
A lot of this office.
A lot of this office. I do lot of a lot of this office i do i do think i have that
though uh steven like if i if i like lose my voice permanently okay i would i would be able to get
some kind of payment pretty sweet no well what no i'm not gonna want to rather have my voice well
yeah yeah yes yes yes yes yeah you could be but but dan if you lose your voice you could be rich steven it's like saying like i have a life i have a life insurance plan that's worth a
lot of money i would rather be alive well yeah of course but i'm just saying like but it's kind of
what you're saying it wasn't it wasn't a voice thing i feel like if it's like you can't like if
you if you uh like it has to the injury has to occur at work. In your mind, what's the injury? What's the injury? What's the disability you could get?
ACL.
No, that's not true.
ACL is not true.
If we blinded him on Steve, you think if you if you tear your ACL and pick up basketball on Fridays, you're going to make a million.
You're going to make a million dollars.
Yeah.
Not ACL.
No, Che.
I think you'd have to be like moving in a wheelchair only with your breath.
Yeah.
Che, just so we're clear, you're not like a number,
like a top ten draft pick about to enter the NFL draft.
Like that would not be what disabled people do.
ACL.
ACL.
For a million.
Your job has nothing to do with you being able to walk or run.
Yeah, and if you tear your acl you
probably need to be at work the next day no steven does think he's like yeah he's how will i do the
he's a star wide receiver for ohio state about to like in between you know finishing college
and going to the nfl draft he's like listen i got this insurance if i blow out my knee
again this is these thoughts of yours, this is furthering.
I get why he was excited.
He thought he could tweak his knee for a million dollars.
Give us another one.
What else do you think would make you disabled?
No, it's becoming evidence to me I clearly did not read the policy clearly enough.
It's not even the policy, Steven.
You have to have something happen to you that you can't then do your job,
which would essentially be like if you lose your voice,
you become brain dead, or maybe if both your hands get cut off.
Even that I think they'd probably be fully paralyzed.
This conversation is proving the disability.
Yes, correct.
Can we call an insurance person?
Can we do an insurance day?
Like, hey, dude, we tried that once.
The rockiest KB and I relationship I've ever had.
You're misremembering.
I was a little bit on your side.
Yeah.
Well, you were also, everything proved to be correct because I failed.
When I was trying to get correct because I failed the,
when I was trying to get insurance,
I failed the first test because the people came back
and were like,
we listened to some of your podcasts
and you do drugs.
Not anymore.
Oh, yeah, that's what happened.
Yeah.
But yeah, Stephen,
you are,
you're disabled.
All right,
I'm going to be getting in touch
with my insurance company then.
Yeah.
Brandon?
Oh.
Just waving at those people, taking pictures of us.
If you're waving at me, then yes.
But if you're not, then...
You happy about DeAndre Swift?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, listen, free agency is all about...
I said it.
Any free agent signing the Bears make, I'm just going to say Bears are back.
I don't care about the money.
I don't care about who it is.
Yeah.
They can sign anyone.
I just be like, Bears are back.
We'll deal with the other stuff later.
What about the stadium?
You like that?
That is quite a clusterfuck.
Same spot?
Steven, what do you think about the stadium?
Because you were going to be right next door, right?
I'm excited about it.
This is great news for me because I'm a prospective home buyer.
We rent currently.
Oh, it's back on?
No, Arlington Heights isn't back on, Steven.
I know.
Oh, you don't want it?
What are you excited about?
I'm excited that it's not going to be. Oh'll be cheaper and yes okay got it oh yeah that makes sense once that disability
hits though you'll be able to buy anywhere yeah it's true yeah no it's a clusterfuck but what
else is new they spent like all this time being like we don't have any money and they're like oh
we just found two billion dollars where are they gonna put it i don't have any money. And they're like, Oh, we just found $2 billion. Where are they going to put it?
I don't know.
That's by the water,
but where,
or by the lake.
I don't understand how you can like build a new stadium without tearing down the first one.
Are they going to build it where the lot is the South lot?
And then,
yeah,
but that's going to,
I don't know.
It's a fucking,
they're idiots.
Just stop playing football.
Let's just cancel it.
Let's move the team somewhere else.
Just root against the Packers.
Yeah, move it to someplace.
San Diego.
Lincoln.
Yeah.
Lincoln?
The Lincoln Bears.
Why not?
Who says no to a team in Nebraska?
Oh, Nebraska, okay.
Where do you think it was?
I don't know.
I feel like Lincoln is one of those towns. It's
like Springfield. There's a Lincoln everywhere, right?
I think Franklin is the most
common county and town name.
And town name? Franklin?
One of them. Washington.
Washington is welcome. Madison.
Probably Franklin is town.
Washington County.
Speaking of Madison, did Big Cat Wingmanning
for you work? Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
How'd it go?
It was good.
Yeah?
Madison was so fun.
You fell in love?
Fell in love a couple times.
Yeah.
Oh.
I'm exclusively college girls now.
Nice.
I heard you were at-
When you say that, it implies that you were at high school.
Yeah.
It's almost like you-
Yeah, I graduated.
I heard you were at Woof's trying to thumb wrestle bartenders for free lemon drop shots.
How did you hear that?
Wait, Woofs?
Someone DM'd me that.
Woofs.
I got snipe?
Or Wolves?
I think Woofs.
That was at Plaza.
Okay.
The rest of it is true?
The thumb wrestling?
Yeah, I was pretty fucked up and I was trying to drink.
Did you win?
No.
Lost every time.
Going back to a college town though, you realize just how cheap everything is.
It's awesome.
It was amazing.
You just like instantly.
It's like $6 pitchers.
Yeah.
I got Francis black the fuck out on Friday.
Did Sash drink with you guys?
No.
Why not?
He went home.
Only drinks with SNL cast.
Yep.
That sucks.
Gotta be Shane Gillis
For him to get fucked up
Shane was here on Saturday
How was that?
Did you go to the show?
I went to the show on Friday
Yeah it was a good time
It made me do Voice of God
And it sucked
Oh that's awesome
What did you have to do?
I fucked it up
Like I had to say
Part of a bit?
Before the show
I was like
Please no flash photography
And I just
I fucked it up
How?
He thought I was gonna do
Something special And I just went off the script And then He thought I was going to do something special
And I just went off the script
And then like turtled away
Nah I would do it
Don't interfere
But yeah he was here with Santino on Saturday
Yeah I saw that
I was like oh
Santino is like one of my favorites
I'm not going to burn what Shane's got for his podcast
Everyone go listen to Matt and Shane's secret podcast
But I'll just say that
I think he's going to lead the podcast
this week with
Nate Marshall. It was his opening act.
Some crazy
video from the basketball court. So that's
a plug.
Once he shares it, I'll share it.
And you guys will be shocked as
I was. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to
burn that for you. I'm excited. But yeah.
It was a good time. It was a good excited but yeah it was good time it's a good
time he's very funny he's a star of course Shane yeah oh he's star yeah he makes guys break
sobriety he's a fucking star yeah yeah that does suck that sass just doesn't drink around yeah we
had fun though Francis said you like won his heart wait so what was the dynamic that you were the one getting Francis fucked up?
We, after the Friday shows, we went out to college bars.
We went to like Mondays, Whiskey Jacks.
Mondays has the, like it's toxic how much they put into each drink.
Oh, we were just doing beer.
Okay, yeah.
And we were drinking like I would drink with Nick,
where it's just like Jameson shot, whiskey shot every 15 minutes.
And Francis was like drowning in whiskey.
And the next day he didn't leave his hotel room until the show.
I had to bring Advil up to his room.
He left the door open for me.
Oh, my God.
And he was laying in a dark room, blind shut, just doing nothing.
That doesn't affect you like that?
No.
He's young.
I'm back in the gym, dude. I was feeling feeling good so it was a good time great time love madison is i'm very biased but
everyone who's ever visited says that they're like holy shit this is awesome yeah i compare
it to like penn state a little bit where it's like just the perfect college town yeah um i want
to go back yeah yeah should it's awesome in the summer have you never
been oh no you went up there brandon this year and we went up to i've been multiple years ago
when 2019 yeah yeah um were the sets good sets were good yeah friday no one bombed thursday
was a little quiet um there was a home the last home basketball game of the year So it didn't fill up until the end of the show
But it was great sets, great club
Comedy on state rules
Awesome
We're going to get Tate to do the gauntlet today
It's his first day in the office
So I told him we're going to need him down here at some point
He was here early
He was here at like 7 a.m.
He wasn't here early.
I was here before him doing.
Oh, you were?
Yeah, like CrossFit choreography.
Oh, hell yeah.
To Latin house music.
Nice.
Yeah, one day I came in, and the only two people that ever work out,
Chef Donnie and then Kyle, but Kyle plays music when he works out.
Oh, Reed, too. Reed's here all the time. Oh, I've never seen him. He was here on Saturday. He reads here the most. Really? Yeah. out chef donnie and then kyle but kyle will kyle plays music when it works out oh reed too
reeds here all the time oh i've never seen here on saturday here the most really yeah
yeah he's reed is here tate said that he just can't it's like he's been a teacher for so long
yeah he can't turn that off so fucking early because i told him i was like don't you don't
have to be here and he's probably seven in the morning. And he's probably freaking excited. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
But then he comes in at seven in the morning.
It's like empty.
Does he live here now?
Yeah, he moved.
He did?
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, so we'll get.
He already moved?
Yeah, he moved.
I didn't realize he was here now.
He said he'd never been to Chicago until the free throw thing.
Let's christen him in.
Yeah.
It's like the.
Yeah, no, we are.
We're going to.
I was going to.
I told him.
He's going to be good at it.
Like halfway through the show.
I can see him being one of the best.
I think he's still eating lunch.
Did you see his lunch tweet?
No.
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
Mincy's already invited him to a dinner,
so I told him to document that.
They're going to dinner one-on-one on Tuesday.
TJ, did Mincy go anywhere interesting?
He kind of bounced around between...
Literally.
Yeah, the same three addresses in New Orleans and then got back to Midway this morning.
Any trap houses?
I couldn't really tell what the locations were.
They did look like large buildings that didn't have markings of being a bar or restaurant or anything.
So maybe like a frat house?
When you sent the update, I went to Google Street View.
Right.
I know what you mean. Like a guy does, and it was unmarked.
I couldn't tell what the building was.
Why don't you ring him?
Ring him right now.
Let's see if he...
Yeah.
Ring him and see.
Can we go to the upstairs camera to see if we see him get startled?
I will.
Blutman.
Connecting.
Malasek. Could that be him over there with Megan? I can't Malasek.
Could that be him over there with Megan?
I can't.
Connecting.
The fact that he forgot he was air tagged almost instantly.
If someone air tagged me, that's all I would think of.
I'd be paranoid.
Right.
Did you guys break down yet how he got to the wrong wedding?
No, we're going to have to ask him.
I mean, he's just. That would have been so much better if we were the ones
to expose him.
Instead of his own self.
Like, Mincy, you're not at the right place.
I don't know how you spend 15 minutes
at a wedding without recognizing a single
person. Like, that's an instant...
He was grabbing hors d'oeuvres.
That's a walk in the door.
You can't grab.
I don't know anyone here.
Yeah.
If that's not an act, then.
It's not, though.
I know.
He's getting a million dollar check.
Yeah.
What's.
Did you ring him?
Where?
Catch him.
Oh, yeah.
There he is.
Oh, yeah.
Who's he talking to?
Anybody.
Is he having a conversation?
Anybody.
Is Hank on the phone while Mincy talks to him?
Oh.
Oh, yeah.
Hank's talking to Mincy with headphones in.
Look at Hank just nodding.
Mincy will follow you around and yet, like, have a conversation at you.
Yeah.
With your back turned to him.
Yeah, at you.
Remember the Tomb Raider video game where the butler would slowly follow you around
wherever you went?
Yeah.
That is Mincy.
Similar vibe. Yeah. Can we Zoom? Good love hank really wants to get out of this you can tell
it's some crazy content idea idea zoom in can you zoom in no oh he's peeling off oh we circle back circle back in no thanks
step for step turn in his body and we lost mincey i'm getting air tag not reachable. What? Oh, did he disable it? Did our shark get
smart? Here he comes.
Let's just pretend we didn't say his name.
What's playing now?
Just keep thinking about Madison.
Yeah.
Oh, is it playing?
Alright, so when it beeps,
you have to come in.
Sit down, Mincy.
So for the backstory, can we play the video from Mincy's weekend?
We're still very confused, Mincy.
I have some explanations.
Okay, I'm sure they're not going to help our confusion, but we'll take the explanations for sure.
I like that they exist.
Hi, what's up everybody?
Got a just classic misunderstanding by me.
So, I'm dressed up.
I'm going to my childhood friend's wedding reception tonight in New Orleans.
And I went to the wrong country club, and there was a wedding reception there.
So I just walked in thinking it was it.
I was just walking around.
I got some food.
I got a club soda, and I was looking around.
I was like, I don't know one freaking person at this thing.
This doesn't feel right. And my dumb ass sits there for like 10 or 15 minutes,
and then I finally walk outside and look at the door,
and the wedding was for Karen and Joel.
I don't know who the hell Karen and Joel are.
So now I'm waiting for an Uber to go to the other country club where I should have gone in the first place to my friend's wedding reception.
So classic misunderstanding.
It just kind of feels like a day that ends in Y for me because it just never ends.
All right, what's up?
We all have so many questions
question number one how is it a misunderstanding okay so i thought here's what i thought i thought
the wedding reception was at the metairie country club why because that's like a big
took the intuitive approach i looked i looked okay so i looked at the invitation
once like a week before and i just thought it was the metairie country club again how
that was the one i took i need to see no no no what told you that that particular reception
was at that particular country club i i think i just thought of it because i took it because
i was with hank and them there last month.
But like I thought
I really
That was just a recency buy.
I feel like you're still not answering.
No, I just thought that was
the country club.
That's like the big country club
in the New Orleans area.
That's the one everybody uses.
You're like, it's a wedding.
It has to be here.
That's what I thought.
Okay.
Misunderstanding.
So anyway
You didn't look at the invitation?
I looked at it once.
Once.
I looked at it once.
A week ago.
Yeah.
Okay.
And so.
How many, I assume there was a lot of people you knew.
No, see, that was the thing about it.
I was only going to know the groom, the bride, the groom's dad, and the groom's sister.
I only knew four people at the reception.
So the groom you're good friends with.
Yes.
And he has specifically been like, I'm never going to introduce my friends to Ben Mintz.
You don't have any mutual friends?
The groom is a Titanic stoolie.
And he met y'all in LA.
Do you understand what I'm asking?
No, I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I didn't know literally no one except the people in the wedding.
Like this person, he's never introduced you to the other part of his life?
Oh, well, the thing is, he...
So, a little background.
He lived in Monroe and was in my grade
for five years as a kid,
but then he lived in Pennsylvania and L.A.,
so I've never really met his friends.
I'd only see him when he'd come visit New Orleans.
Okay, that makes sense.
And I met him, but I knew his dad
and his sister from childhood.
Did you know the wife?
I met her once when they came to New Orleans.
That was a dumb question.
There's no way that the wife would have agreed to you going if you hadn't met.
Well, actually, no.
Maybe that would be.
I didn't.
Yeah.
The wife was like a Louisiana family, but they live in LA, so I didn't know them.
You didn't go to the actual wedding?
No.
You were just going to the reception?
I mean, I was originally planning on going to the wedding, but the 5 a.m. flight, and I got down there, and I was like, I'm going to chill. But the wedding was before the reception. Oh, so you were just going to the reception i mean i was originally planning on going to the wedding but the 5 a.m flight and i got down there and i was like i'm gonna but the
wedding was before the reception oh so you were there you could have gone to the wedding i could
have gone to the wedding i did okay 5 a.m flight put you in new orleans at 7 a.m like 10 a.m i'm
gonna back you up here i'm a big if the wedding and the reception are in different locations i'm
a big just skip the wedding no one will know that i think it's fine and the wedding was in the french
quarter like way away from the reception.
I'm 100% on your side.
It was like 3 p.m.
I was like, I can just go to the reception at like 6 or 6.30.
Yeah, but you didn't know where the reception was.
I thought I did.
And the thing is, the country clubs are only five minutes apart.
How did you know what time the reception was?
It said the reception was from 6 to 11.
But it also said where the reception was, and you didn't read that.
He's a numbers guy.
You internalized the reception time, just not the place.
Correct.
Got it.
I just assumed, yeah.
Now, who was the bride and groom at the wrong reception?
You were offended that those two people were getting married.
What the hell were they doing?
Karen and Joel?
People on my Twitter, like, some people said,
I thought I saw you at this other wedding.
If anybody has photos of me in the background,
getting finger foods at the wrong wedding.
I ate prime rib.
You were eating prime rib before you realized it was the wrong thing?
Yeah, prime rib and a club soda.
Did you sign into the guest book?
That was when I realized it.
I went over to the guest book,
and then I saw the welcome to Karen and Joel thing.
That was actually when I figured it out.
Who the hell are Karen and Joel?
That was like, who are Karen and joel that's so funny did you whisper to
anybody before you left like hey nice to meet you i'm at the wrong wedding i didn't say a word no
no just slipped out i was just walking around nobody recognized me it was just no one you said
someone recognized you well yeah okay no one said anything to me then got it what a great i need
photo how amazing with that you had prime rib you sat down
i was standing up i went and got like a prime rib slice and then i went and got club soda and i was
there was music going on yes there was and you were kind of vibing i was vibing and i kind of
was walking around but the thing was is that i knew i wasn't going to know many people at my
buddy's reception so that's why the alarm bells didn't go off right until you saw karen and joel well
yeah i never saw them i just saw the guest book names for karen and joel okay and i was like okay
this isn't right i gotta get out of here okay and then you went to the right and then i went and
then i took an uber to the new orleans country club which was only five minutes away which is
what's funny about it did you eat the primer yes how was it it's good but it did the spread of my
buddies was just i mean better oh yeah that would have been funny if you went back.
You're like, this food sucks.
I mean, dude, they had oysters and crab cakes and crawfish.
It was, yeah.
TJ, so do you have this, the two locations that he had to go to?
So, I doubt he has it because I think I left my keys on accident at my buddy's place on Saturday.
You think you left them there?
Yeah, because I realized, like, I got.
Well, where did you get the, Where did you get them the next day?
What is this?
I left them at my buddy's house.
Is this where, that's where you left your keys?
Is that, like, Napoleon St. Charles?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then I went to the French Quarter after
and met up with all the Ole Miss,
I met up with all the Ole Miss NOLA crew,
and I probably had the latest night I've had in a while.
Now, so we did track you.
Where else did you go on Sunday?
Was there anywhere that you would not want us to know that you were?
No, Sunday I took my keys with me.
Sunday I went to a party in the French Quarter with Big Sam's Funky Nation
with my brother-in-law.
Okay.
Because he was in town for a real estate conference.
And then I went home at 10 because I had a 5.50 a.m. flight to get back here today.
All right.
So where was this?
Long life.
Long life massage.
I had no idea on that because that did not happen.
Y'all are messing with me on that.
No.
I don't recall.
This is what was on your.
That could have been one of the other ones.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Restorative body works?
I have no idea what you're talking about on any of that.
You're messing with me all y'all want.
The unmarked building.
We're not Ross.
This is just where you were.
I was not at any massage places, but I was in the French Quarter.
Did we see the Google Street View of this?
You can say whatever you want, but I was at the French Quarter at the Royal Sinesta,
the jazz playhouse for this party last night.
And I went to Henry's Uptown Bar yesterday to have a barbecue pop up.
And, yeah, and then I stayed at my buddy's.
And, yeah, I went to the airport.
Good weekend?
It was a hell of a weekend.
Yeah.
They put any rub on the barbecue?
What's up?
They put any rub on the barbecue?
It was like a jerk barbecue?
It was like a sweet potato hash and then like a chicken with like Alabama white sauce.
It was a good one.
White sauce.
White sauce.
White sauce.
Yeah, they do like the mayo base from Alabama.
It sounds like you were everywhere, though.
You just talked in all different directions.
It was a big New Orleans weekend, man.
Yeah.
It was a quick in and out deal.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Hell, yeah.
Yeah, but it was tough.
Hell, yeah.
It's just the old thing is it's been going on for like 15 years.
The Ole Miss and all the crew.
I mean, nobody turns it up like the Ole Miss.
Right.
It's been a thing since like 07 or 08, and it's still going on.
Yeah, it's tough to beat.
Yeah.
Was that barbecue bone-in?
It was just like a taco.
Oh, no.
Oh, nice.
I had a taco.
Fish tacos?
No, it was the chicken taco.
And then I ate some oysters and char-grilled oysters last night
at this Big Sam party.
And, yeah, man, Big Sam was killing it.
It was great.
Where are you going this weekend?
Nashville SEC tournament.
It's going to be fun, even though Ole Miss,
I was excited about it two months ago.
We looked like a tournament team.
And now we hit a point where the game Saturday – I've never seen this.
Brandon, have you ever seen a coach get up at a press conference
and say we need to refund all the fans from the day?
I don't know that I've ever seen that.
He said, I'm asking the AD if we can refund all our fans
because that's how bad it was.
We lost by 30.
So, I don't have as much enthusiasm for it.
But I'm going to the Barstool Bar.
I hadn't been there.
I feel like running around Broadway should be some good content.
I love that.
Yeah, it ought to be fun.
We'll be tracking.
Yeah, let's do it.
I think you should go to that.
To me and two of my Louisiana friends got an Airbnb right off Broadway.
Oh, love that.
Yeah, and just for everyone asking, I'm paying for this, not Barstool.
Oh, no one was asking.
I know, but just everybody always asks that.
And then wake up Mincy next week.
Yes. There we go. Wow. Yep, we're, yeah. I know, but just everybody always asks that. And then wake up Mincy next week. Yes.
There we go.
Wow.
Yep.
Yeah.
Who are you going to get on?
Dave will be in the office.
I'm hoping KB.
Dave will be in the office.
Will Dave be in the office?
Yeah.
I don't know if I'm quite.
Do you want me to try to get him on?
I mean, sure.
But I know that if I asked him right now, he would just say only.
Because I've asked him before, and he said I'll only reward good behavior.
What would you ask Dave about?
I think I would just ask Dave to come on and just see where the hell it goes.
That's what he said for me.
The Dynasty documentary that's going on right now,
there's a lot of talk about Robert Kraft.
You could ask him about that.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
I hadn't watched it yet, but I heard it was a lot of off-field stuff
and not as much on-field.
The Robert Kraft – yeah. Okay. Well,'t watched it yet. But I heard it was a lot of off-field stuff and not as much on-field. The robber crap.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, I don't know.
Dave, he sent me a text today and then sent me –
I'm sure you all see the Buffett thing.
Yeah.
He sent me a text to reiterate that point.
And I, of course, responded,
we'll just go to the Jazz Fest one instead.
And he was like, that's not the point.
Yeah, no, that wasn't the point he was trying to – Yeah then he asked me about the jazz fest stuff it's that oh that on outside
i got him yeah no i mean yeah yeah so okay no i'm glad new orleans had a it seems like a happy
ending yeah so no i got hogs in 25 days and then you know like 25 days hogs oh yeah april 4th and
5th but have we done enough fundraising
i'm gonna it's gonna be last minute oh no i have not have not i'm like no kids die because you
fucking i'm a late charge around i'm a late charging horse in the fun right okay all right
all right but yeah everything's good so how's your how's your weekend everybody good
good i went my furniture shopping just you know standard stuff nice awesome i had a good weekend
should i go to the calves bull-Bulls game tonight?
I've never been to a Bulls game.
That's fun.
Bulls game's fun.
I got to offer it.
I got to offer it a ticket.
Yeah.
That was a quick, how was your weekend, quick to the Cavs-Bulls.
It's Mavs-Bulls.
It's Mavs-Bulls.
Oh, it's Mavs-Bulls.
He didn't even give us a clue.
Luca Maggiore, you were about to say.
Yeah.
Yeah, I would go to that.
Luca's going for like a seven straight triple-double or something.
You're really blowing your load right now.
Yeah.
Everything.
How was your weekend?
It was good?
Yeah.
I feel like y'all heard it.
Yeah.
I feel like it was good, you know.
Need to crank back into the good diet.
I love that.
The diet and exercise have not been as good the last few weeks,
and I'm feeling it.
So we got to get back on the right track here before I blow up like a blimp again.
Yeah.
Join my CrossFit choreography group.
What?
We just do like.
Who's we?
Me, I guess.
You'd make it a group.
Do like fun burpees.
We move our hips around and between sets
and we it's to like afro medusa like latin house song it's fun i'm always scared like crossfit's
like hard on your joints you get i mean when i used to crossfit yeah you just you gotta schedule
a couple massages get yourself loosened up yeah that could help. That could help. Deep tissue.
Good to know.
Cool, cool, cool.
All right.
All right.
Thanks, Vincey.
Always love seeing you.
I always love seeing you guys too.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks for coming.
I'll see you.
That was Ben Mintz, everyone.
Want to do the High Noon ad read?
Yeah, yeah.
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He's someone else.
Does he confuse content with experiences?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Experiential content creator.
Yeah.
Can we make him crash weddings?
I mean, it would be great.
He'd be a perfect wedding crash.
That was so mincy, just being like, how was your weekend?
Before anyone could recognize you.
I'm thinking about going to the Bulls game.
Yeah, he is an experience.
His experience is his job.
That's about it. and it's working perfectly
his job is just to live
just be out there
yeah
quite something
he just
I think we're glossing over one big fact
can we see the Google Street View by the way?
he went to the other country club
because he assumed that's where it was.
That's a great point.
That's where they hold wedding receptions
at this one particular place.
Do you want the street view?
Yeah. Do we want to dox?
I mean, it's kind of doxing. Doxing who?
What's a doxing? Whoever's house this was.
Oh, it's a house.
I say it's a house next
to a massage parlor, I guess. Or he was at the massage parlor. Let's yeah. It's a house next to a massage parlor.
I guess.
Or he was at the massage parlor.
Let's go down the street a little bit to the massage parlor.
No, no.
Also, I don't think we should police with recreational habits.
No, no.
They're everywhere.
There's a lot more dudes getting tugged than you'd think.
I mean, there's like five on every block.
Yeah. I've never done it yeah a lot of dudes getting dug
never done it
Titus
I wouldn't even know what to say
uh
you don't really say as much as you kind of point down
really
Titus this probably happens like everywhere
everybody's just dying to do it.
I'd be so anxious though.
What if you're wrong?
No, it's not.
It's easy to tell.
It's pretty straightforward.
That's what I would agree to.
It's very straightforward what's going on.
Titus' handsome privilege though is just like, dude, that Burger King right there jerks you off.
I asked for a Whopper. You got asked for a Whopper.
You got asked for a Whopper.
He's getting jerked off everywhere.
There are so many.
I have something I want to talk about.
This Jeff D. Lowe tweet from the Oscars yesterday.
Oh, by the way, credit to me.
I did nail the Oscars.
Not looking for credit, but...
Well, credit to Jeff D. Lowe
because he wrote, directed, and starred in Oppenenheimer and this was a massive win for him um did you see
that he called it a championship win i don't i need to see this and i maybe i maybe i'm off base
but i read this like five times trying to make sense of what he was talking about i need to see
it i need to see it i'll send you the tweet this was a big moment for Jeff yeah wait
wait so
you predicted
that
well I said that I
Oppenheimer was by far
and away the best movie
of all the movies
I saw this year
and then I did follow up
with I only saw
Oppenheimer but
I was correct
that's a movie championship
we did it period
one of the best
movies of the decade
the century
and of all time
will take it to my own
my damn grave
what a perfect movie in mass speed as and of all time. We'll take it to my damn grave.
What a perfect movie in mass speed as deserving of Oscar's Best Picture.
We did it.
We did it. We did it.
We did it, Joe.
Do you think he, like, popped champagne?
What does that's a movie championship mean?
Yeah.
What is that?
I don't know what that meant.
I don't either.
I was very confused.
Does he vote in the... No. Does he vote? No. He's not part of the Academy, I don't know what that meant. I don't either. I was very confused. Does he vote in the –
No.
Does he vote?
No.
He's not part of the academy, I don't think.
No.
Yeah, but he can't say we did it if he's part of the academy anyway, right?
But if it's like you're a fan of a sports team, does he root for Oppenheimer?
Every year.
Every year he's been rooting for Oppenheimer.
Finally.
He remembers 20 years ago.
We did it.
Is he rooting for Nolan?
I think he just said the movie was really, really good.
And maybe some people said it wasn't Stephen Che.
Stephen Che just...
Message to the ops.
I mean, Che's criticism of the movie is he just did not understand that the movie was not about the bomb, but more about the politics behind it.
More about Oppenheimer.
Right.
What was Che's criticism?
Che says that they should have stopped the movie the minute the bomb detonated.
Yeah, that's true.
But that's not the story.
Well, the story's...
If we're going to revisit this, the boiled down version is the dude doesn't have security clearance for 90% of
the movie.
And then in the second act,
or sorry,
the 90% of the first act.
And then the second act,
the entire thing is him fighting a court case about why he should have
security clearance.
But you understand,
I don't think that's right.
It is.
Yeah.
But you can't say who cares.
The movie is not about the bomb.
It's about everything that happens after the bomb.
Like the world changes because of the bomb.
And that is the struggle that Oppenheimer and Robert Downey Jr.'s character are having.
Boring.
Okay.
But that's why the movie is kind of wrong.
He kind of won on that.
Explain how it isn't boring.
Yeah, he did win on that.
It's pretty boring.
But Che watched the whole movie.
The shit was in black and white.
But you...
He also went into...
You understand that black and white was like...
It was from the point of views.
That's what the black and white was.
I get it.
Okay.
What's this tone you're taking?
I love it.
You just wanted to see a movie about a bomb.
Yeah.
You wanted to see the bomb drop.
That's a loved character.
I get it.
What is he doing?
The movie poster is a bomb going off.
Am I wrong?
It's about.
But it's called Oppenheimer, Shay.
It's not called the bomb.
If it's called the bomb, it was pretty obvious it was going to be about the guy.
And the reason I knew that is because they called it Oppenheimer.
Okay. Well, I'm a visual learner, and there was a bomb going off in the background.
I did want to see them pouring the little bomb liquids into the middle of the bomb.
I did.
You're a visual learner, so the three-hour movie didn't teach you anything?
Did you start to get up when the bomb went off?
That's good. Mission accomplished. We did off? I did think it was ending there.
I did.
But you wanting to see it drop is funny.
Yeah.
Did you see Godzilla won?
The people that made Godzilla won an Oscar?
Yeah, visual effects.
Godzilla minus one.
I heard Godzilla minus one was awesome.
I heard.
I've been trying to watch it.
It's not available. You do a Godzilla impression, right? Yes. Yeah, that's what I do Godzilla minus one was awesome. I heard. I've been trying to watch it, and it's not available anywhere.
You do a Godzilla impression, right?
Yes.
Yeah, that's what I do.
We'll do it.
That's all I could think of as I was watching the guys give their speech.
Kutira, Kutira.
And when we played the clip, and it was pretty close, facially.
Do Godzilla as the Gatorade guy.
Oh, geez. If Godzilla was pitching Gatorade guy? Oh, geez.
If Godzilla was pitching Gatorade.
Yeah, you got this in your bag.
Oh, wait.
If Godzilla was...
Can I do it the opposite?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
I don't know what the opposite is.
It's Gary pitching Godzilla.
What?
Naturally, we called it Godzilla.
Oh, I didn't like the opposite.
I'd rather it be the Godzilla guy in the Gatorade.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense.
He's the Gatorade guy pitching Godzilla.
Naturally, we called it
no
get drained
yeah don't
no
don't pretend like that
he didn't kill it
he killed it
he killed it
that was pretty good
Al Pacino was so awesome
that was awesome
he just didn't give a fuck
no not at all
just the most
and it was for best picture
yeah
the most anticlimactic
oh
Jeff was probably pissing him yeah that was Jeff's he disrespected Jeff yeah No, not at all. And it was for Best Picture. It was anticlimactic.
Jeff was probably pissing him.
Yeah.
That was Jeff's pick moment. He disrespected Jeff.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was like Scott Foster having a bad call in Game 7.
Yeah.
Come on.
What the fuck?
Jeff, we did it.
Movie championship.
Movie championship.
I texted him to see what a movie championship is.
I'm thinking maybe it's director best actor
best picture but I don't
I feel like that would be a known term
I'm sure it's like a thing in the film
but it was like the
we did it and I'm taking this to my grave
and all that that I was just confused by
yeah like he's
obviously a big fan of Oppenheimer
but again Oppenheimer just came out
this year and he was saying it was like
I've been waiting my whole life to see Oppenheimer I don again, Oppenheimer just came out this year, and he was saying it was like... I've been waiting my
whole life to see Oppenheimer. I don't understand
taking it to his grave either.
For the next 40 years, he's just going to...
That's all he's going to think about?
Yeah, on his deathbed, surrounded by his loved ones,
he's going to be like, but Oppenheimer...
Taking it to your grave means
it's like a secret.
Yeah, true.
He can't tell anyone. Yeah yeah he can't tell anybody about
Oppenheimer's win all right I want to see where I want what were the replies this tweet were people
like congrats Jeff like way to go dude we love you like we knew you could do it yeah I've been
a Jeff D Lowe fan since day one it's great's great to see you finally hit the mountaintop.
It's kind of like me winning a championship,
watching you win a championship.
Yeah.
That's a movie championship.
We did it.
When is the parade?
Yeah.
We'll take it to my damn grave.
What a perfect movie. And on top of that
A masterpiece
That's what Will Compton's gonna tweet
When Trump wins
Just a quote
Dude
Dave getting just
Like manhandled by Trump
Was so funny
I text him right away because I knew
I saw it when he got when Trump does his alpha handshake,
which rules.
I don't care what.
No.
Like, take Paul.
It rules.
And he just everyone he meets.
Yeah.
He's just the alpha pulls him in.
He pulled in Dave.
And you can see for a brief second, Dave, sit back down this one.
That was the poll.
And then Dave sat back back down and where's
his face oh we're over it oh he's just like he's kind of smirking to himself he's like
yeah he rubs his shoulder yeah and i said so i was like did trump just manhandled you he's like
my arm hurts so bad right now it was so perfect just got fucking that's all he could think about is just he got his arm socket
just ripped out yeah will's now will's doing a very funny bit online yeah yeah where people
were coming at him for that picture and now he's just posting as many pictures of him with
black people i have a tweet in my drafts of me and four photos of will and i'm so i have black
friends by association. Yeah.
He sent one out with Max Crosby, too. Yeah.
Crack it up.
Who was the random guy in the picture with the glasses?
That's the second in command at UFC.
Well, yeah, there was a...
You and John Rich got into an argument.
Oh, yeah.
It got aggressive so fast.
I don't want to make a divide here,
but Tunnel of Chaos guys know who that is.
I was sitting next to him for like two hours.
He's a familiar face, I bet.
He and I go way back.
Tunnel of Chaos is a funny name for free handout.
Yeah, that really isn't what it is.
No chaos whatsoever.
There's no chaos.
No tunnel.
No chaos.
Yeah, John Rich, you have to do a little Google search.
You can't –
What are you on the Google?
I don't know.
What's he going to do?
It got heated.
I've never seen anything get heated so fast.
Yeah.
Wait, did you do get pissed at John Rich for not knowing who that guy –
No, no, for John Rich knowing who it was, right?
No, no, John Rich said Finesse God.
Okay.
And then everyone just clowned
on him like dude that's literally dana white's right hand man and it like let's just be honest
ufc fans don't love when casuals drop in yeah hunter hunter something um very nice guy but yeah
he uh he actually his job was who is this guy? Oh, Nadeau did it too.
Wait, and then I think John Rich, he's the number two guy. Oh, so John Rich.
Oh, so John Rich then came back.
Oh, how would I know who he is?
Oh, John Rich should have stuck with it.
He should have given that to Nadeau.
He should have been like, bro, just say you're casual.
It's okay.
Yeah. What did he say? P bro, just say you're casual. It's okay. Yeah.
What did he say?
Pussy out?
Pussy out.
Yeah.
Because John Rich answered.
And the guy was like, when are you trying to cut your head off?
I thought you were cutting your head off, pussy out.
Yeah, he did.
You kind of won that round.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
He did.
That's a 10-8.
Stay out of my mentions.
John Rich has to cut his head off now.
Yeah.
No.
You pussy out of killing yourself.
Yeah, no.
Seriously.
That's so funny.
But, no, you can't.
That's a picture.
You see someone in a game.
Once you get the casual tag, you're fucked.
Roan did that not too long ago.ies yeah yeah he's like what are these necklaces they're wearing and
everyone's like they've been wearing them since game one casual always hurts even if i am in fact
a casual right right like if i said something about ufc and i am very much casual and somebody
said shut up casual i would be very offended you know what it is because deep down even though you
you know you're casual like i'm a casual ufc fan i always think in my
head i'm like i'm a little bit better than i'm above casual i'm a tiny bit better than if i'm
involved it's no longer casual i'm not like those other casuals right yeah who's that guy yeah i
like owning the casual thing because then you can just fire from the hip say whatever the fuck you
want be like oh i'm a casual casual or a best way to enjoy sports yeah yeah it's the best way to enjoy anything yeah yeah brandon you
are leaning into being a hockey casual though no i'm a hot is brain no he's a diehard now i'm a
hockey diehard he's diehard now okay oh you're about to get a cat we're gonna let's get a casual
stamp no he's oh no he's been watching a lot he texts with the blackhawks yeah but they were down
to nothing yesterday and just all of a sudden...
Where did it all go wrong, would you say?
Where did what all go wrong?
The 2-0 lead that was blown.
No, no, no. They were down 2-0.
Connor Bedard showed up. That's what I'm saying.
Connor Bedard showed up and everything went crazy.
1-7-4. Where did it go wrong for the other team?
You know what you need to say?
I think I know what he's doing.
No, I missed the game.
I would love to know.
We started getting pucks on that.
Two goal leads is the worst lead in hockey.
Two goal leads is the worst lead in hockey.
Oh, yeah.
And they just –
You should know that.
They were resting on their laurels.
You should know that.
I'm a casual, so I –
Colin Blackwell had a –
Concussion?
A conky?
He had a trick hat that allowed him to get all the goals.
Yeah, you got to do the two-goal lead.
It's the dumbest cliche ever.
I thought it was 3-0.
No, it's 2-0.
It's 2-0.
Worst lead in hockey.
Which makes no sense because I would –
1-0 is more –
Yeah, two-goal lead than a one-goal lead.
Yeah.
But –
You'd think.
You'd think, but no.
Two-goal lead, worst lead.
That's why we're casuals.
I almost had a casual moment for UFC because there was one guy who was almost fishhooking someone,
and I was like, they should allow fishhooking.
So then I had to Google it.
It was like the first rule that they took away.
The first rule UFC ever made was no fishhooks.
I got just fishhooking, and then nut punches like two years later.
How sick would it be, though, if they did a fishhook only?
Actually, face off.
Why does it?
We have the slap, right?
The slap league.
Why not a fishhook league?
Why not a fishhook league?
Just running around trying to fishhook each other?
What would be like a KO in the fishhook?
You got to tap.
Do you start?
Tap.
What would the move be?
You just fishhook them and they can't get out.
This person starts with a fishhook in? No, I think you just got to run around. I think if you double fishhook. What would make move be? You just fish hook them and they can't get out. This person starts with a fish hook in.
No, I think you just got to run around.
I think if you double fish hook.
Oh, if you got a real bad fish hook, you'd tap.
I'm a pro.
Somebody's cheek would rip apart.
Just from my sisters and cousins.
And also, you'd probably get some fingers bitten off in this league.
Which would be sick.
Like if you miss the hook and someone just chomps
down on your fingers, that's allowed.
That's part of the game, yeah.
You tell me you wouldn't watch Fish Hook League?
I very much would, yeah.
Just put them in the octagon, have them chase each other around?
Fish Hook should be allowed.
You want to try it?
It's pretty much, like, you can't get out of it.
You could, like, crack a guy's leg in half.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can't do a fucking pull, but half. Yeah. Yeah. Give him to a fucking pole.
Just keep your mouth shut if you don't want it to happen to you.
So would both competitors start with a fishhook in?
Or you have to chase them and try to.
Yeah, you like touch.
You like knock up and then you're just like go.
Can we try it?
I'm wondering, can you shut your mouth hard enough that someone can't get a finger in there?
And I don't think you can.
No, you can't.
Ma?
You want to try it? I'm go ahead and not me i want to declare myself out of the fishhook yeah i'm out as well you did it to me one day and i thought that's the worst thing that's ever
happened i barely did it to you i know if you actually sink it in it's impossible
yeah guys would like grow out their fingernails nobody would have clean hands that's just yeah that whole ufc card made me feel like
a casual because i dip in about once a year and buy a card i bought that one and nothing grabbed
me nothing was exciting dustin poirier was exciting yeah fell asleep right before he
oh dustin poirier was awesome because he he kept on trying to guillotine BSD, and they started the second round,
and his corner was like, stop doing that.
Every time you do that, he flips it instantly, and then you're fucked.
And then 10 seconds in, he went for it again.
He was just like, it's a French guy.
I have to guillotine.
Yeah, he just kept on going.
He knocked him silly.
I saw the highlights.
He knocked him silly.
Didn't try to guillotine him again, right?
He knocked him silly, guillotined himotine him again, right? He knocked him silly.
Guillotined him.
That's a technical term.
And then somebody was like, oh, don't do that.
And he said, oh, fuck it.
Stood him up and knocked him out.
What's the guillotine?
It's like you get him.
From behind?
No, like on top of their head.
Like he like jumped.
Can you show?
We can't show clips, can we?
Brandon, stand up.
I can't get it.
I can put Brandon in a guillotine or KB could
yeah put him in a guillotine I don't know what it is
DJ come guillotine me
I think I should
he was like
isn't there one on the ground
but he was doing like a standing guillotine
where he was basically just getting his head
and like putting his whole
body weight I can only picture a DDT
yeah that's all I got.
That's all I'm seeing right now.
TJ strutting in here.
Yeah.
DDT.
Oh.
And then he was doing that over and over.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Get him.
Yep.
Yeah, you drop your weight.
There you go.
Yeah.
Oh, nice, TJ.
Oh, tap.
Oh, tap.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
Tap him.
That was obvious.
No, he said I'm going to guillotine.
He literally said I'm going to guillotine. He literally said I'm going to guillotine Brandon.
Yeah.
So, yeah, he just kept on doing that.
It rocked.
I thought we were just showing it.
There was a second there I almost went out.
What?
You did not.
Come on.
That was from standing up in the chair too fast.
That's actually from just getting active.
The O'Malley fight was good too. Yeah.
And he also...
You can sit on some, man.
O'Malley, but that's just...
I swear to God, nothing will change.
It's okay to take a playoff.
It's all right.
He just got guillotined.
Yeah, he's at least...
He did fight one time
He's seeing stars right now
He uh O'Malley though he
I don't know who watched it but he got liver shotted
At the very very end
And it might have actually like
If it had been like 20 seconds later
It might have been the most miraculous
Knockout ever cause he went to his
He went down after the bell rang
From the liver shot.
Dude, Cheeto is a warrior.
Yeah, he got his face rearranged.
Yeah, if that fight went 10 rounds
like O'Malley probably doesn't survive.
He probably wouldn't have quit, yeah.
Yeah, I don't think Cheeto would have given up.
Yeah, it was cool. Fun night.
Good times.
The internet had a lot of fun with Nick Bosa and Trump, too.
That was great.
Oh, yeah.
That's always fun to do.
It's a good time.
It is funny how he's at every single UFC event.
Like, it's like a free rally for him, kind of.
I mean, listen, if Dana White said I could sit front row of every UFC event,
I'd be at every single UFC event.
I'd be there, too.
Yeah.
There's nothing like seeing him.
Do you think he has any interest in the results
or the action?
No, I think everyone's
just like the greatest fighter. That was the greatest
fighter. He just wants the status and power
of just being... Do you think he has fun watching them?
I think... It's hard not to.
I don't... I get nervous.
Really? Yeah.
Why? I don't know.
I have trouble watching it, too.
I think about their moms watching.
Don't want them to get hurt.
When we went to that fight, the boxing match in San Antonio,
I was nervous the whole time.
You had an emotional bond.
Yeah, but I don't want to get into it.
You see what's happened to Garcia?
Yeah.
Ryan Garcia? He was the happened to Garcia? Yeah. Ryan Garcia?
He was the guy we've watched.
He's spiraling, I guess.
Yeah.
He's been boxing since he was sick.
There's a fake kidnapping that he put on Twitter.
He said that he got kidnapped and tied down at Bohemian Grove,
and he was forced to watch kids get...
Oh.
I didn't know that.
That was the original tweet.
Ah.
Damn.
And now he's just popping off on Twitter.
All right, Brandon.
I don't get big boxing is...
Good.
Get back in the game.
We already said Dana.
That's the name of one of our coworkers.
Fights is the name of one of our coworkers.
No.
Uh-huh.
No.
We're dressed alike.
Oh, yeah.
You guys kind of look alike.
Sabrina's got those goofy-ass shoes.
Actually, all four of them.
These are just...
There's not a tie.
You got a Cosby sweater on the top of those shoes?
Oh, this is the Hair Jordans.
Those are called Hair Jordans?
Yeah.
What are Hair Jordans?
The Bugs Bunny Jordans.
Oh.
From back when...
Oh.
You get it?
When they had a collab.
This was way before Space Jam. You dug up an old
Tommy Walker picture. You drop it yet? Oh, no.
I haven't dropped it yet. I got to Photoshop
people out of it. Oh, you're going to Kate
Middleton? Yeah. No, I just, it's
a picture of Tommy when he
was two and then the daughter when she was
Oh, breaking news.
There's got to be a signing of some sorts.
Oh, boy. NFL There's got to be a signing of some sorts. Oh, boy.
NFL free agency.
Wow.
Wow. Whoa.
Fuck.
Whoa.
You had the best running back signing for like five minutes.
I don't think that's too consequential.
Fuck.
Jacobs is good.
No, Jacobs is very good.
How did he do last season?
Josh McDaniels was a fucking fat idiot, so not good until he left.
What are they going to do with Aaron Jones?
Jones.
I don't know.
And A.J. Dillon, right?
Both are very good, I think.
Fuck!
A.J. Dillon has big thighs.
Oh, yeah.
For those who only listen to the show, a football player got signed to a team.
I got a quick.
What do I got?
Josh Jacobs.
I'm going with.
Signed to the Packers.
Think about that.
Are we going to watch this happen in real time?
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
Cook.
Cook.
Let's see if the tweet has been quoted.
Dave's also celebrating right now.
What's he celebrating?
Deadspin layoff
Oh yeah?
Yeah
Wow
Sold to a European
Oh that's a shame
That sucks
That's a shame
Damn
Hate to see that
Already locked out a company
Slack and all
Oh man
What is a European startup
Gonna do with Deadspin?
Make it an F1 site
A lay Deadspin? Make an F1 site? Le Deadspin.
Yeah.
Reach much?
Oh, boy.
Yeah, he actually is celebrating.
Yeah.
I have his notifications on.
Even I'm getting confused.
Even I'm getting confused.
How many times can I pop a bottle with the same goddamn company?
True. How many times can I pop a bottle for the same goddamn company?
How many times can I kill Deadspin?
How many times can Julie DeCaro lose her goddamn job?
It seems like infinity.
But here we are, once again, new bottle of champagne floating around Newport. Hey, Miss Peaches.
Hi, Miss Peaches.
Get her out so I can go back to business, boys.
Deadspin, out of business,
fought, everyone fired
for the 90th straight time.
This is just kicking a dead-ass dog.
But you know what?
I'm not beyond it.
There we go.
To Deadspin, everybody getting fired again.
Those motherfuckers just don't get it.
Being miserable, hating life, never laughing,
it's never going to pay the bills.
See you motherfuckers on the employment line again.
It's true, they have died like a million times.
All right.
I did my tweet.
I've processed with Josh Jacobs.
I feel good.
I feel good about the way forward.
He's good.
Fuck.
Damn it.
Damn it.
He's really good.
Jordan Love's good, too.
Did you guys agree with Roan's take on the storm chasers?
They should have found the magic.
That they got to provide the storm?
Because Nicky Smokes tripped back at him.
Nicky Smokes tripped at Roan.
What was the argument?
Roan said he's disappointed in the storm chasers
because they, this year, tried to go find a storm
as opposed to bringing the storm with them.
Right.
Nicky Smokes took that personally.
He did.
Right. Yes. Iy Smokes took that personally. He did. Right.
Yes.
I forget exactly what he said, but he was not thrilled.
Yeah, he said, like, I guess we should have stormed the courts
when our team's lost by double digits.
They should have.
Yeah, it was not great for them.
I'll be honest, I'm disappointed the storm changed this year.
You're supposed to make the storm not find it.
Coming home empty-handed is unacceptable.
Seems like they had a ton of fun.
Not trying to shit on the guys.
I know it came off that way, and I apologize.
Whoa, is Rome getting soft?
Nope, but then scroll.
I just know this group mixed with this concept is capable of greatness.
Just wanted to see a little more all love.
Yeah, just scroll down one more.
Wait, sorry, I didn't see this brain-dead post.
Apology rescinded.
All right, guys.
What did he say?
Right hand up.
Rookie mistake.
Should have just brought the storm to the court
after a double-digit loses.
The emoji is that.
Loses.
Double-digit loses.
After a double-digit loses.
He was seething type of a man.
Smokes.
Smokes is the man.
Yes, so Smokes is the only one to ever participate in Storm Chasers
and not.
Yeah, Tommy Snokes was in it last year.
The other three guys were in it last year, right?
I love to train Danny Conrad just getting dressed up for every game, even though
they don't have to. Yeah, Danny.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If you can find
Danny's tweet, just like and they're just going to
watch these games and watch these teams just get
fucking blown out. Brandon, you going
fishing today? Yes, there's been absolutely zero reason for Trey and I to be dressing up all week.
Here we are again.
Yeah, for nothing.
Brandon, where are you going?
To the lake.
Again?
He's trying to do spinning bait today in the lake.
I got a P2 coming with.
He's what?
He's trying to do spinning bait out in the lake today.
Really?
Yeah.
So he's excited.
I can't let him play it like that. Okay. Yeah, with spinning bait. today. Really? Yeah. So he's excited.
Yeah, it was spinning bait. Nice. That's exciting. You're testing out
a new spinning. No, when I get home, I'm going to throw a
spinner bait in the lake. Oh, I thought you were testing out a new one.
Yeah, I am testing out a new one.
Yeah, sorry. Sorry what I said was correct.
65 degrees.
This is not a spinning bait. It's a spinner bait.
What's it do?
Sounding like a casual, Brandon.
Why don't you scram?
Why don't you scram?
I'm going to go pee.
Scram.
He's going to...
I'm excited for him.
He's going to catch a bluegill, apparently.
He's going to get in that little fucking boat.
Spinning bait's good for a bluegill.
That little tiny little boat.
No.
We should steal the boat, like, easily.
I hope his new bait works so well that he catches a fish that
just sinks his boat wouldn't have to be yeah it's too big it's so big he just sinks did you see how
big a fucking sturgeon could get i saw that yeah holy shit that's freaking dinosaur so i went to
the aquarium and i was petting sturgeon i was like this, this is a cool fish. I didn't know they could get like 13 feet long.
Oh my God.
Sturgeon are crazy.
Don't like sturgeon at all.
I think that's what people probably thought
the Loch Ness Monster was.
Oh no.
They're dinosaurs.
They're like, I think they're literal dinosaurs.
Where is that?
In Canada.
Canada.
Look at that.
That is what people thought the Loch Ness Monster is.
That has to be.
Yeah.
They're fucking enormous. yeah oh can you eat that like is it a you can eat something you buy at a market
I don't haven't seen it I don't know if sturgeon's probably not there's I don't think I've ever had
sturgeon walleye's good wait should we put one of those in Brandon's lake
yes
oh my god
we should put an alligator in his lake
oh that would rock
what could we do something crazy
a whale
what invasive species could we put
in his
shark lake
yeah I think African toads are pretty invasive Maybe a whale. In his... Hmm. Shark Lake.
Yeah, I think African toads are pretty invasive.
Okay.
Sturgeon is a caviar fish.
Their eggs are a delicacy.
Oh, so not them.
I guess.
Smoked sturgeon, great for caviar.
Penguins?
They're protected.
You can't take them out of the water.
Brandon, you know what I think sturgeon could get?
Oh, yeah, sturgeon could get? Oh, yeah.
Sturgeon are massive.
Yeah.
Up in Canada, they grow big. We're going to put one in your lake.
Yeah, I don't think a sturgeon would last very long.
Why?
You catch it?
They have to have certain depths.
They have to have deep depths.
You could pet them in the aquarium.
No, they'll come up.
Oh, stingrays.
You should put stingrays in his lake.
You can't put a stingray in my lake.
Why?
We're going to put some stuff in your lake.
Well, the stingray killed Steve Irwin.
Yeah.
So?
Let's put a Bible in there, too.
Oh, what do the lakes have around here that's invasive?
My cousin goes out and shoots them with a bow and arrow.
Asian carp.
You should get some of those.
You got to get some of those jump, the ones that jump out of the lake.
Those are Asian carp.
Those are Asian carp.
Those are more rivers.
You can just ride down a river and jump in the boat.
What about a crocodile?
I don't know if the crocodile is going to last long in this climate.
It's summer.
Don't they live in the sewers in New York City?
Yeah, they can live through anything.
I don't think there's crocodiles in the sewers in New York City.
What about swimming snakes?
I'm sure there's snakes already in the lake.
Swimming ones.
Poisonous?
What is a swimming snake?
What is a snake that swims?
Did you see that video?
It's every snake. That's not every snake. Some don't. Pretty much every snake. I don't think that swims? Did you see that video? It's every snake.
That's not every snake.
Some don't.
Pretty much every snake.
I don't think every snake knows how to swim.
That's pretty much every snake.
Most snakes know how to swim.
Do all snakes know how to swim?
What about like a rattlesnaker?
I guess, yeah, how would they have gotten to Ireland?
Or a cobra.
I'm sure there are some snakes that don't swim, but I bet they know how to swim.
Desert snakes.
No chance.
Cottonmouth can swim?
Cottonmouth swims all the time.
Oh, I didn't know that. All snakes can and will enter water and swim. Yeah. Fuck snakes. No chance. Cottonmouth can swim? Cottonmouth swims all the time. Oh, I didn't know that.
All snakes can and will enter water and swim.
Fuck! They can and they will.
Sorry. They don't care about water.
That was a threat.
This snake will be in your lake.
Snakes are the worst. God damn.
Jeff DeLocke clarified movie championships. Oh, okay. It's a
LCB joke. His favorite movie won.
We did the same thing for Parasite.
Ah.
So we got gut.
Despite that we did it, I did not work on the movie or vote for the award.
We got gut.
All right.
Oh.
Rats.
No worse feeling.
No, I'm going with Titus's.
We're just going to ignore what he said.
Ignore what he said?
Dork.
Yeah.
Championship.
Jeff D'Lo thinks he's the Drake meme.
Bro thinks he's on the team.
Bro thinks he's on the team.
Yeah, bro thinks he's in the movie.
Who's someone that could use we?
Could a boxing coach use we or still not?
Yes. Yeah. what's the lowest
form of we can a caddy oh yeah yeah sure definitely sure no yes caddy can say we want
masters yeah oh yeah he's getting paid off of it yes oh he's also directly yeah he's part of the
part of the part of so a caddy can use a we, but he can't use an I.
I'll say this.
Yeah, he can't use an I.
He can't use an I once.
I think a personal chef of the golfer can say a we.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
What about the wife of the golfer?
We, for sure.
Yeah, I think the wife can.
Absolutely.
Agent.
Agent.
We, yes.
Yeah, agents say we.
I think we should use we.
Brothers, sisters.
Jay uses we.
We got to start using the pronoun we more
That would be like if I said we had a good show today
Yeah, you can't do that
Yeah, you could
Nah, that's ridiculous
That's crazy
Yeah, what the fuck
Dude, like after Sass gets off stage
Yo, we were funny
Yeah, we had a great time
He's like, get backass gets off stage, yo, we were funny. Yeah, we had a great time.
He's like, get back.
Get out of here.
Yeah.
Shane and I sold out the Chicago Theater on Friday night. I think you can say that, though.
No.
What?
You spoke on the microphone.
Yeah, I guess we did.
Yeah, we did.
We sold out the Chicago Theater.
No big deal.
That rocks. Was it a good show? It was a great show. Chicago Theater no big deal that rocks
was it a good show?
it was a great show
he's very funny
very very funny
and he does
he's like
I like how he does stand up too
where he's not
he like laughs at his own jokes
and also
makes it feel like
he's like
like oh I'm gonna try this one out yeah i like that i like the
process of it yeah where it's not pumped for his uh show to come out tires tires watch the pilot
on youtube if you haven't it's so funny they made it like 10 years ago oh this he made this 10 years
ago 5 10 i don't know how long ago but they've shot it like in Philly like in Delco
and it's just all a bunch of Philly comics it's kind of crazy that Shane is like he's on the path
for superstardom and then if you like ask them like Mount Rushmore of worst experiences in your
professional life be like SNL one case race yeah it 2. Like, I think we have half of the Mount Rushmore.
We have a date set for the Royal Rumble Case Race.
No, we need to get one, though.
TJ, do we have the Yak Arena?
Yeah, you want to go into the WWE 2K24 ad?
Yeah.
We're just talking about that.
Yeah, do it, do it, do it, do it.
So, yeah, Friday we're going to have a special show. Second page it do it so yeah friday we're gonna have a special
show second page big dog thank you we're taping wwe 2k24 is out this week wwe 2k24 finish your
story i think cody rhodes about cody rhodes yeah cody rhodes is on the cover new match types from
guest referee to casket gauntlet and ambulance. There are a bevy of new match types to experience in WWE 2K24,
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So, oh, wow, look at that.
So we have a special show coming out, and they made a yak arena for us.
But I don't know what that's going to look like on the...
This is going to be awesome.
I don't know.
So there's...
Oh, hell yes.
I want to come out to do on your dick.
Gibbs.
You got to get the rights cleared by the band.
Shit.
Yeah.
See you on Friday. we'll have our special show
I got a text from Milkman
this weekend
he said dude what the fuck
oh no
sorry Logan
so we have
us
we did it last year and it actually was like our best
it was fun.
Integrated, like yak.
Oh, whoa.
Whoa.
It's not becoming a big thing.
Wait, who made these?
A fan made these.
Holy shit.
A fan made these?
Yeah, Braxton, I believe is his name.
Yeah, he's fantastic.
He's the one that made the last one.
Holy fuck, I look awesome.
Let's wait.
Yeah, let's get your hair first.
Braxton Flores. Yeah, he's get your hair first. Braxton Flores.
Yeah, he's great.
You think that's going to change?
Yeah.
He made everybody, all of you guys, and then he also made some-
He took some shit away.
Oh, no.
He's taking the good things away.
He's about to add some other-
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
There's a size.
Stop.
Okay.
He's got some chin back.
Wow, he really-
Better fatten up those cheeks
Oh no, fullness is going up
There we go, yeah
Oh yeah
No, stop
Oh, no
No, this is bad
Six five
Bad spot
Oh, oh
Oh
Oh
That's about right, eh?
Holy shit
Oh my god
Yeah
I look fucking sick
Oh, damn
Really good
Got the eyes
This is crazy
Damn
Wait this
Okay
Yeah
Bulge
Is there a bulge
Oh
Oh he went
Oh yes
Stella
This guy rocks
This is a good look
At like how much stuff
You could do
You could make
Literally whatever you want
I'd probably just spend
My whole time doing this
Yeah buy the gate
Oh
Oh
I want the boots
Brandon better have the same exact shoes
Kate won last year right
yeah
oh this is awesome
gold yeah oh wow
I look fucking sick oh a little scarf no what's he gonna
uh-huh it's your oh yeah it's my manhunter jacket oh oh holy shit wow whoa i've never
looked better shout out to this guy That's a really impressive skill set
That's incredible
He did that for every single one of us
I guess we'll see soon
That's awesome
I'm going to tell Tate to come down here
Is that me?
I think so Kate
Hell yeah
Oh Alright Dang think so kate all right dang okay tj that's jay that's jay okay me you got bigger i got bigger who else do we have anyone else oh nice
who could that be
oh shit
let's go
so it looks just like you
cream pie god on the side
who else
who's that
that's me
alright
yeah
got the untell this bitch shirt on.
Okay.
Oh, little fat fuck.
Brandon, we all got jacked.
I got a family shirt on, though.
I'm okay.
They shaped up my titties.
What are my knee pads?
Is that a squirrel?
It's got to be something.
It's a pig, I think.
Tate's here. Tate. Welcome here welcome to the yak you finish your lunch
i still got the dunkaroos left oh nice you brought a lunch packed lunch okay brown bag i noticed that
you matched your shirt and your shoes today well done is that okay people were saying that the yak
might get on my case if i tried too much on it's a lot of metro yeah no um it fits you okay if you try anything else out new we'll probably roast you
but this one i i think you look good this is fine you basically have to look the same way
for the rest of your barstool tenure as you dressed your first day yeah you're not allowed
to change your style that was my move as a teacher was match the shoes
with the shirt and then just black golf pants every day so i've got all the combos ready yeah
okay yeah like if you take off your hat real quick
nah fuck that yeah you got mad at me don't even try it you were livid with me for just not wearing
glasses one day yeah yeah you're pissed yeah ret you're pissed. Yeah. I don't like change.
Look at that.
That's a shiny. That's a hell of a lunch.
And you wrote your name.
Oh, snack pack.
Well, I didn't know.
Paige was showing me around.
I said, is there anywhere to put my lunch?
Any staff fridge?
Yeah.
Someone's going to start eating that.
Yeah.
Yep.
Pete used to pack his lunch.
Yeah, we have weird fridges anyway.
Things disappear in the fridges.
Yeah, Pete used to pack his lunch,
and Rowan would eat it and just leave $5.
How fast do you think you can drink that Capri Sun?
Because we're pretty quick with it.
I've seen that, yeah.
You guys probably got me on that one.
Do you have jitters, first day jitters?
I do, I do.
That's okay.
Over the course of the last two months,
what was your fellow staff's involvement in your Barstool saga at all?
Well, previously before, you know, Dave tweeted out the whole I'm resigning thing.
Very little.
I had blocked all my administrators, fellow co-workers, everyone.
No one knew who I was.
They didn't know you were doing Barstool at all?
And there's some people that knew who Ohio State was, but not that I was Ohio State.
So it was a it was
a shock for everyone um were there times where they talked about ohio's tate to you and you had
to be like yeah that guy's awesome not the ohio's tate stuff but the amount of times they'd be like
hey do you follow barstool yeah i'm like uh yeah i've heard of it you know that's hilarious you're
like our hannah montana exactly yeah i was gonna say batman oh
uh brandon walker in person not so shabby huh no i'm a i'm a big brandon walker fan i told him that
this morning he was first but like on camera like the looks like he's he's a handsome guy in person
better than better than i thought yep thank you thank you yeah you're put together it's pretty
nice thank you that's very nice well we're happy to have you thank you i really know i'm not talking to you
and you are going to go to new york still just to see everyone because i i solely came in my
office and was doing viva tv and i wanted on the record in tate's defense he and i talked at length
what it was like a month ago and i was like i think you should go to new york just to show face and he agreed dave doesn't want to take to go unless dave's there because dave is worried
that someone's gonna try to shank you so you but it was not you you were 100 in on going to new
thanks for saying that yes i'm ready whenever whenever dave's ready so i assume after madness
or something yeah okay good what else i was stuck here yeah mouse is here he was just setting up Yeah. Okay. Good. What else? Malasek here? Yeah, Malasek's here.
He was just setting up.
Did you guys talk about his guitar video?
No.
He's got a new one?
Real short shorts.
You could see, like, you know how, like, the skin starts to stain?
It was a cockshoot.
Yeah.
You could see the stain?
You could see Malasek's stain.
Oh, Kirk Cousins signed with the Falcons.
Wow.
What?
Oh, my God.
Whoa.
Shit.
You guys are bringing back Fields.
I think that might have happened.
Oh, no.
Yeah, where else?
I'm going to roll with fields, man.
Where else does fields have to go?
It was Steelers or Falcons, right?
Denver?
Denver.
Denver's up.
Oh, my God.
Look.
That's good.
Look.
What an asshole.
Yeah, that's it.
He says he doesn't do this for any. It's just a good God. Look. That's good. Look. What an asshole. Yeah, that's it. He says he doesn't do this for any.
It's just a good shot.
Yeah.
Pause it, TJ.
Can you not see stain on right leg, his left?
Yeah.
Look at.
Oh, yeah.
Stain.
Hey, what's up, Malasek?
Hey, buddy.
We're just yakking Tate's first day.
Yeah.
Don't worry about what we're playing on the computer right now.
What do you think we're watching, Malasek?
Damn near nutsack.
What the fuck?
We're watching porn.
That's when they talk about butthole eyes, that changing of the color.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He has butthole, butthole.
Look at that.
He's just picking up that one.
Oh.
Yeah, he's doing it.
He knows.
Everything he does is for show.
Have you had any real bad interaction yet
uh i did so i talked to dan this morning and i was just getting the lay of the land and i said
like hey can people around here take jokes yeah and he was like yeah generally yeah i said okay
because i really subscribe to belief like you can poke at me i can poke at you it'll be okay
everybody's fair game and he said heed that, and I said, okay,
because I'm kind of making some jokes about Big T today.
And he was like, ah!
Maybe run that by him.
In blog form or to his face?
He did it on Mostly.
And I did it in the blogs.
So basically what happened was I reached out to the editors and said, hey, now that I'm full-time, can I do some college football stuff?
And they were like, well, Big t's our primary guy crazy answer who said that everyone should be able to blog as much as they can yeah and so you know he'll get the stuff but if you want to play
second fiddle that's fine so then i was making the joke that i was also big t was the primary
for the free throw contest until i had to drive six hours. That's pretty good. Yeah. Good joke.
I like Big T, but you might want to meet him first.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
You know what?
Actually, even after you meet him, he probably will hate you, but that's fine.
I went up to him and I was like, hey, I just want to tell you, like, I may have put your
face on the Defender and the Remember the Titans that can't guard anyone, so PDD has
The racist one.
Yeah.
And he was like, oh, I've already read it.
Yeah, I mean, I had a good read.
It was basically the only name that you could have said
where I'd been like, eh, maybe just introduce yourself.
Well, you also said you spoke to the editors about something,
but your blog today was your number one goal
is to become the editor-in-chief.
That's a good goal.
Thank you.
Shoot for the stars.
Yeah.
Why not? did they say
anything about that when you published it we don't um talk talk as much as we used to yeah
sad but so uh nate keegs are vocally openly anti-tate anyone else um no and i'm not anti them
um but uh i've i do take meticulous notes, I would say.
I can tell.
I know what everyone – first of all, and you guys know I haven't taken shots
at anyone in the Chicago office.
That was on purpose, obviously.
But I'm aware of who said what during the hiring process.
For the record, you can take shots at people in Chicago.
Just not me, but everyone else.
We're great at taking
shots.
If you need to take shots,
if you want to say something bad about Titus, just
write it Moose.
Just write the joke you would write about me
and instead of Mark, it's an easy
change. Titus picked the seating
arrangement with Kate there, Mook there.
He's going to shine.
Shoot it at me, I'll just deflect it.
I'll autocorrect Mark to Mook.
Oh, wow.
That's perfect.
Yeah, just unload on Mook.
You do that all day.
I'll eat it, too.
I'll absorb and not say anything back.
Wait, so there were other people who had...
At first, there was people saying, is like there was the video the day
i got hired they did immediate reactions on like the viva account and uh some people
fleming trashed your ass fleming is on my ass no i'll tell you about fleming you you could take
shots at him but it will always just it bounces off him and comes right back at you yeah yeah i
i don't think i'm the dumbest person that works here um and i'm who is let me finish i'm excited for my dinner tomorrow night okay yeah yeah with mincy
but no uh fleming he's invincible yeah he's he's a mega you don't yeah you don't go against
plumbing but yeah there was and then some people have kind of changed their, uh, their tune. Um, they got scared.
Did you see what, uh, did you read the blog?
Yeah.
I skimmed it.
The Casey.
Very nice of her.
And she's awesome.
She was trying to get ahead of it.
Yeah.
She was just like, she's like, uh, super excited.
You seem like nice, whatever, whatever.
Also, I've learned to stay on your good side.
Oh, that's a little too transparent.
Little olive branch.
Yeah.
So Feidelberg said some very nice things um he's
just trying to fuck you out of it and yeah i don't know if you would yeah it was my first blow job
from a male was when he uh he posted that video and he's like i'm an ohio state guy so that was
hurricane o'reilly's just meet him there um, do you want to do the gauntlet?
I think you're going to – I think it could be a record.
I'm very nervous about you doing the gauntlet.
What would you say your weakest here is?
I would say that I am nervous about the wiffle ball baseball.
Oh.
I played baseball.
It was my best sport.
But something about the – it's got to go where?
It's above where
we're at right now it can't hit the ceiling okay i think you're going to be pretty damn good at
this you're in baseball country right now yeah lincoln county has some powerhouse how about that
did you do research newark catholic what are you looking up all the lincoln county stuff he did his
research before you existed yeah me and kb got a couple mutual friends oh some of the kids from my
high school wrestled with KB
in college. Clay Wenger, Alfredo
Gray. The Grizzlies. Alfredo's the big guy.
Alfredo's the tiny guy.
Bah!
What's the big guy's name? Jordan.
Bah! Alfredo, you've
talked about before. Yeah.
I don't want to say anything.
I've never
trashed his name.
Okay.
He has trouble with text.
Okay, okay.
He has to speak to text.
Yeah.
But he has...
Okay, yeah.
We got a new football?
He's testing it out.
That one looks good.
Swag on Jay walking around.
It has to be the best feeling in the world, Tate,
when you do a face reveal and then people are like,
oh, he's good looking.
I didn't need that for the ego, but oh my God.
What a rush that would be.
People assume we're all mutants.
Yeah, when I went with that blur on the face
and then dropped it,
and the first couple comments was like,
well, who knew Ohio's Tate was hot?
There we go. And that was a girl probably commenting yeah yep yeah we're excited to have you can you
walk me through this yeah again yeah so brandon will be your guy you want someone else to go first
you want to watch someone go we can we can we can spin the wheel and have someone go i don't hate
that okay all right spin the wheel let's have someone do a run if it lands on me i'm gonna do bad i just feel it i'm feeling sluggish oh yeah
volunteer if kb says to do it first piece of professional thanks kb yeah but so it's so i got
one one cornhole you guys hit one one bag you got to shoot on malicek yep so those if you have to
shoot to your score you have to shoot those three
balls and then once you shoot all three balls you can shoot from anywhere okay um then your
wiffle ball home run uh then you got to hit the body armor you gotta hit one body armor with the
football where am i throwing from you're throwing from like just uh just past where the court meets
the greens okay
sneaky hard there's like a volleyball circle it's like right right basically on the line okay of uh
the basketball line okay um you have to get your own rebound for that so if you miss you have to
go get it and it can't hit like the wall and come back or hit the table and it has to direct flash
okay three-pointer three-pointer, Sporkle. Okay.
Yeah.
Are you going to play five-on-five with us on Friday?
So I met Paige this morning, and I said, who plays five? Because I want to play five-on-five.
Yeah, yeah.
She said, you play.
She said, you play.
I play every so often.
Does the whole squad go?
Yeah.
There's times when we have, like, too many people.
Yeah.
It's like 20 people playing.
It's fun.
It's good.
We play for, like, two, three hours on Friday afternoons.
Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. We actually are going to playing. It's fun. It's good. We play for like two, three hours on Friday afternoons. Oh, that's fantastic.
Yeah.
We actually are going to have to figure that out this week.
We might have to play in the morning Friday this week and next week because we have live streams.
We shirts and skins or we.
No.
Skins and skins.
Yeah.
Shirts and skins would be funny.
Yeah.
Tops and bottoms.
You guys wear pants.
You guys wear the tops. The first Friday
we did runs, one person volunteered
for shirts and skins and took skin
side immediately. I'll let you guess
who that was. White Sox Steve. No.
Steven J. It was Fasoli.
He loves taking his shirt.
Shirts and skins. He took his shirt right off.
Whatever is under the...
Not you.
My first day as non-teacher i was able like i could only watch
this for the first 23 minutes when i was a teacher because i was on a bell schedule but then i started
and it was jeff d lowe's gauntlet day oh that's just had me shook ever since i mean i'll say this
tate if you get a worse time than jeff d low you're fired you're fired that's i actually
mean that like i up you're out because it would just everything oh that was instant oh my god
that's wet as shit but kind of quit my job but hey i'm not but you understand what i'm saying
you're like you would have to be the worst athlete or, like, the dumbest person alive to get worse than Jeff DeLose.
Oh, no.
So I'm 99% chance that you're not going to get worse.
I agree.
But if you do, I'm out.
Gone.
Okay.
Yeah.
One night in the apartment last night.
I mean, if you get i think over 9 30 really
good i think he's gonna do really good too but like you're gonna be you'd have to get i don't
know what would happen what did he shoot from three did anyone with this hit i beat him blindfold
i saw that uh yeah i'll be okay you'll be okay are you the type of guy that takes auxiliary
sporting events really serious uh i'm a baseball, basketball guy.
You're only the big hitters.
Yeah, and I would say, well, I don't want to overhype
and then underdeliver, but I'm skilled at things.
No, we've got high expectations, but you're good.
You'll be – listen, the first step of the gauntlet
is just wanting to do the gauntlet.
You already won that.
Yeah.
So, like, anyone who's like, yeah, I'm in.
All right, ready to go?
Are we spinning somebody else or no? No, he just wants to go. Okay. All right. Tate's
going to go. Brandon will also be with you to walk you through it. And then when you're
done with the three point shots, sit down and then just, you can sit right here so you
can see the screen and just rip through them. I think I'm going to – I think the record's going to break.
You think he's going to break it?
I think so.
I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, the fact that he was, like, wiffle ball and most nervous about it,
but I played baseball.
He's going to hit a home run right away.
Yeah.
Would it be funny if he just couldn't, like, throw it to himself?
No, you're fine.
It's easy.
It's easy.
All right.
Tell me when, TJ.
Malsec, hey, you don't take it easy on the new guy, all right?
Well, he's been –
He's going to sell.
It depends on, like, if there's a celebrity here, he just lets them score.
That's our Ohio connection, though.
Come on.
He's Ohio?
Me?
Aren't you Ohio?
Oh, now it's personal, Malsec. Oh? Aren't you Ohio? Oh now Now it's personal
Now it's personal
You just asked me about the Browns
I got it
That's Malasek
He's overly nice
Yeah
This seems
This is too far back
You go all the way up there
They're already trying to
No no no
The gold
The gold
Alright
Ohio's Tate
Versus Chicago Taint
Yep
Malasek Guitarist Alright ready? Ready All right. Ohio State versus Chicago Taint. Yep.
Now, sir.
All right. Ready?
Ready.
Steven, change up.
I don't do one. Go.
Smart.
Multiple bags and I just got to break the record.
He's going to break the record. Lefty.
What? Oh, Malasek.
Stop the first. Oh, Malasek.
That's always a hat. Yeah. There goes. Oh, ohasek stopped the first. Oh Malasek. Yeah, there goes. Oh, oh no. Oh
No shit He's got it! He's got it! Throw it away! Throw it away! He's not off the beam! What a save!
He's fucking on fire!
Oh shit! I've never seen anything like it!
What a highlight reel!
He's incredible today!
Oh my god! The other one, he can't get it He's incredible today. Oh, Zach. Oh, my God.
The other one, he can't get it past him.
He might have to quit.
He might be fired.
He might have to get fired.
Through it.
No, no.
It doesn't count.
Oh, hey.
He got hit in the face so hard.
Twice in the face.
I think he shouldn't have said that Ohio thing.
Oh, that's out.
No, it's stealing.
It's stealing. I might have him in his head now.
Line drives.
Two hits off the scene.
There you go.
There you go.
Okay.
She has a football now.
Off the wall.
He's got to try again.
Saquon Philly.
You might be a little.
Saquon Philly.
Let's fucking go.
Wow.
Malasek.
What a fucking performance.
Nope.
Off the wall again.
Goes for his third throw. Off the wall again. Goes for his third throw.
Off the wall again.
All he can see in his head is Malasek.
He doesn't have to worry until.
Oh, no.
There's no worrying, but he's just not going to.
You're still under two minutes.
No.
Oh, he keeps hitting it off the wall.
All right. Oh, keep setting it off the wall. All right.
Oh, lower.
I'll say it.
Try sitting.
Kelly Keegs may have cursed this man.
This would be so fun.
There it is.
It would be so funny if he had to quit.
A one-day career.
It's like, why are you back at school, Tate?
It's like, well, Jeff D'Lo beat me in the gauntlet.
Tate on his third basketball shot now.
Okay, this is where he's got to do well.
Fifth.
Great for him.
They're just not going in.
I'm afraid we're going to see a laser.
There we go.
There we go.
There we go.
Okay. That we go. There we go. Okay.
That's it.
Nice.
Sit here.
Sporkle.
Sporkle.
You got eight NBA players.
Chargers.
Oh, there we go.
You're right on.
Raiders.
Chiefs.
Broncos.
Raiders.
Step Brothers Brothers Ricky Bobby
Eight NBA players scored over
3,000 defensive rebounds in the Lakers
Kareem
LeBron
No
What the fuck
Wives of celebrities
That's tough
Got four more
You can get some more Lakers What the fuck? Wives of celebrities? That's tough. Got four more.
You can get some more Lakers.
You got more Lakers in you.
Think big men.
Bill Walton?
No.
No, didn't play for the Lakers.
Think of the biggest guy.
He's got one name.
Will? Well, that's one maybe I think it's a no violin oh there we go cello oh three names to the sides of the right triangle do you know that? Hypotenuse.
How many more do I need?
Here we go.
One more.
One more.
Jesus.
Gosling's wife, Kurt Russell's wife, Ashton Kutcher's wife, Ryan Reynolds.
John Legend's wife.
There we go.
Time. Here we go.
404, 404.
Trying to help you get back.
Shaq.
Shaq.
Shaq.
Shaq. Listenq. Shaq. Shaq.
Listen, I want to know how long it took me to do the fucking soccer.
Malicek got you good.
Malicek got you good.
Who was that?
Yeah, that was the best performance.
I've watched him said the Ohio thing.
I think he took it personally.
You pissed off Malicek.
We got to watch that back.
Yeah, I've never seen him.
You got him in the face.
He was eating.
You hit him in the nose.
When he's on, he's unstoppable.
He was sandbagging, too, in there.
All right, so you beat, let's see.
Will Compton.
Will Compton.
Hank, Jerry.
Cam Newton.
Cam Newton.
Yeah, it's a given.
Yeah.
See, you could have done that twice and beaten Jeff D'Lo.
All right.
So you were always safe.
Did we see Malasek get hit in the face?
Malasek's a pink.
No, no, no.
Let me tell you this.
I said, are you okay?
He said, why?
And I said, you took a couple off face.
He said, no, I didn't.
What?
Sure did.
He believes he did not take any off the face.
He took at least two in a row off the face.
You should be proud of that.
And now he's checking.
He just said, yep, maybe I won.
He's checking to see the film.
He doesn't believe he took any off the face.
That was a very respectable first run.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You didn't embarrass yourself.
You got a rough mouth.
And you also got a bad.
Yeah, like that's the beauty of the Yak Gauntlet.
You can have days where Malasek is just not even trying.
Yeah.
Or days where he's.
I would have shaved two minutes.
Yeah, he's a beast when he wants it.
He has no idea it hit him in the face.
He doesn't believe it?
No, he doesn't believe it.
He got him over there.
He got literally hit in the face.
Denying.
Incredibly direct hit.
One?
There was at least two.
But why would you need to see the film to know that you were hit in the face?
Did your face get hit?
I didn't think it did.
I didn't think it.
You were hit in the face.
He got me once.
Oh, shit.
But it's not.
He got me once.
We weren't even saying it.
It's like he got you.
No.
He wasn't trying to hit you in the face. He was trying to score the goal, and you stopped it.
Part of how cool it was.
It's a shame.
And he took that as.
What does he think?
I was ripping on him.
What does he think happened?
Maybe he didn't get hit in the face.
He had to look at the replay to...
I think I'm getting convinced that he didn't.
Wow.
All right.
Cool.
Wait, we got to do NASCAR ad read.
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Boom.
Good job, Tate.
You want to spin the wheel?
Oh, we got a bad wheel.
Oh, that's right.
I thought it was gone.
I'm trying to pull it up.
The internet is failing me.
Internet's down?
Drats.
I actually had to mention the wheel
in my post-season banquet with our parents this year.
Really?
The last thing I said was, you guys know who you know.
You've known me for the last decade.
You're going to see me have to do something at some point,
and it might be when I spin the wheel.
Yep.
So, yeah, that is.
You might have to piss yourself.
Yeah, get ready for that.
You might have to piss yourself today.
Yeah.
That would be a tough one, but it was just.
Yeah.
What grade were you teaching?
Seventh grade English and then varsity basketball
They'd probably be hyped up if you pissed yourself
Are they still diagramming sentences?
We work on little compounds
Complex
Nothing special
This is the first day of the rest of your life
Here comes Mal's sec
This was fucked
Right in the face
Right there
And then another one
Right here he gets hit in the face too
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah he's got you good
He can be like that
I'm not the worst soccer player to come through here
When he wants to be good
He's the best goal
I feel like you're
No good for Jake
When it comes to you
I think you're going to
Bring him down
You got to bring him down a peg
Is there anything you're looking forward to
Finally be able to do now that you're out of the school board?
Well, I cussed
Cussed like crazy?
I cussed for the first time
You wanted to get some out?
Yeah
Oh, you did?
Made a head joke in my blog
Hell yeah
I said I have a big head
I said big head guy
There we go
Alright
So, I still do have
My 7th graders are all commenters now
Oh
They're still following
On your shit or all of them? On the last day we all made accounts any of them just w's every time i
say something hell yeah hell yes uh you want to spin the wheel tj what are you looking at me like
that brandon i'm not you saw the belt yeah i want to go see it really bad sell the wrestling
yeah i want to go see it right but i'll see it later you see it. They didn't bring it out at the end? Yeah. I want to go see it real quick, but I'll see it later.
Yeah, see it later.
We're going to bring it out right before we end.
Oh, no.
That's a bad one.
That is disgusting.
That is so bad.
50-50.
Reset.
Reset.
Reset.
Oh, yeah.
Reset.
Reset.
Oh, nope.
We're wet.
Wet.
Yep.
All right. All right. Pinty. I made fun of Brandon pretty badly today. Wet Yep Alright Alright
Uh
Pinty
I made fun of Brandon
Pretty badly today
What exactly do you
Welcome to
I know the shower's over there
Yeah
Yeah
So what exactly do I have to do
It's not really
Well it's not
No it's not gonna be you
It's not gonna be you
It might not be you
It won't be you
It's gonna be Titus
It'll be me
Yeah I thought it was
No no no
It'll be me TJ or
Probably me cause I have to do the rundown right now Oh yeah Fuck me It'll be me Yeah I thought it was No no no It'll be me TJ Or Probably me
Cause I have to do the rundown right now
Oh yeah
Fuck me
It'll be one of us three
Yeah
Okay
Make sure Mincy's on there
Yeah
Hopefully it's Mincy
That'd be nice
Fucking Malasek is who it should be
Yeah we should get him
Just
Be like
It's big
Yes
That was obvious
No no it's elimination
Gotcha
Yeah
Oh
There you go
There you go
And there's luck.
You taking your shoes off already, Titus?
Come on.
Die, die, die, die.
Yes.
Is the shower down here or it's upstairs?
Upstairs, yeah.
Stop.
Nice.
Dry rundown.
Mincy.
Dry rundown.
It's ice.
The wheel's been in love with me lately.
I do get the wheel a lot.
Oh, no.
The wheel is sentient, which you'll learn.
So when you say dry or maybe Mincy, then it just goes right to it.
Did you see when I did the wheel on my last day of school?
Yeah.
The Yak fans were chirping. It was awesome.
That I didn't do the road.
You didn't do what?
I didn't do something right.
We don't even know the rules.
No.
We'll just own our life.
There you go, Brando.
Are we going to make Kate get wet?
We can't make Kate get wet
I'll wheel in there
in the wheelchair
You might have to do a broken back rule
for the wheel
We've never established that rule
Let's do a broke back rule
We can't make Kate get wet.
I'll make her. If I beat her, she's out.
In that water.
I'll carry you to the water.
The wheel keeps coming down to me and someone else.
I won't bitch out. I can get wet still.
Can you call your doctor and ask?
Hey, can I still get wet?
Hey, doc.
This is fine.
This is fine. Oh, don't get wet? Duh. This is fine. This is fine.
Oh, don't get them off for me.
New shoes, Cal?
Somewhat.
Big Cat got them.
I want it to hit me.
All right, one.
Yeah.
How long have I been doing this for?
You don't have to piss yourself.
This is what I didn't do.
The last two has to be best of.
Yeah, best of seven.
Fake fan. One, best of seven. Fake fan.
1-1.
Would you have rather pissed yourself, Kate?
Is that an option still?
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it was.
Oh, boy.
2-1?
Great.
1 KB.
Are you driving yourself into work, Kate?
Yeah.
2-2.
2-2.
I prefer it because I can see the potholes.
There we go.
God damn it. Oh my God. It's over.
No.
That's okay.
That's okay.
Happens.
That extended the show like 25 minutes to get all the way upstairs.
Three, three all down the thing.
Come on.
Boy.
Come on, wheel.
I love you, wheel.
No, you can't do that.
You can't suck up to the wheel, Kate.
Hey, wheel.
No!
Fuck!
To the shower.
All right.
Better to the shower.
Oh, we have the wheelchair right there.
We do.
I'll be fine.
Such is life. No. My parents, Pat's traveling for the rest of We do. I'll be fine. Such is life.
I know.
My parents, Pat's traveling for the rest of the week.
My parents just got here.
And this will be fun to explain to them when I come home soaking wet from work.
That's so sad.
All right.
You know where it is?
Someone's got a wheeler.
You know where it is?
Brandon, go ahead and push it up there. Yeah.
Go ahead, Brandon.
Okay.
And do we have cameras to cut to that?
Oh, no.
Oh, yeah.
This feels wrong now, but I can't go against it.
Oh, no.
Yeah, no, I couldn't.
You know, I couldn't have done that.
Yeah, you have shit to do, right?
Yeah.
I don't think you can just volunteer, like, oh, I'm going to get wet for you.
No.
No one's ever done that.
I wish I could.
Yeah, I wish I could.
We have to film an ad after this, too.
Do we?
Yeah.
What do we have?
The one that we filmed last week they didn't like.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
That makes sense.
So we got to run that back.
Yeah, that makes perfect sense.
Yeah.
You want to see the trailer that that guy Braxton made for the WWE characters?
Yeah, I'd love to see that.
And we also have the belt.
Check this out.
Hold on.
Holy shit.
Oh, Nick, you look sick.
Yeah.
Wow.
Is that Stu?
Is that Stu?
Jerry?
Oh, my God.
What the fuck?
Is that Francis?
I think so.
That was sick.
Big Cat looks Dominican.
He does look Dominican.
He looks Dominican.
He can tan up nice.
Yeah.
Let's get that belt. Oh. look a little Dominican there. He looks Dominican. He can tan up nice. Yeah. Let's get that belt.
Oh.
Oh, I want it.
Oh.
Take it, Nick.
I don't know if it's unlucky to touch it.
You can't just put it over your shoulder, right?
That's what you're playing for.
I want this.
That thing's sweet.
Would you wear that to the bar if you won, Nick?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I think I would. for what yeah I think I would thank you WWE I want it would you wear that to the bar okay me too
dude yeah that was an easy question Thanks for this Oh yeah
Yeah yeah
So my girlfriend and I
Went to the Ohio State game
Okay
Basketball
And we were just taking
Like a boyfriend girlfriend picture
And then a line formed
And it was like
Hey I got next with Tate
Oh fuck
Oh the line
It was just two
Holy shit
But it was like
I was like
Oh no we were just taking a picture
Just two count as a line
Yeah
Count the original.
That's three.
Yeah, you're right.
All right, that's a good point.
That's a cue, baby.
You're packing it in.
I want it.
How are you liking Chicago?
I moved in last night.
Answer the questions, eh?
Got Lou Malnati's for supper.
I don't know what that is.
That's the big chain pizza.
Deep dish.
Deep dish, yeah.
What'd you think?
Yeah.
It's pretty good.
You've never been to Chicago until the...
Only to shoot free throws.
Free throw stream?
I went to one Northwestern football game, but I don't know if that counts as this.
That's crazy.
Well, did you get any decoration for your basketball season?
Yeah.
They sent me some things to put on my desk here.
It showed up this morning.
We don't have that.
Did you get like a... Did you win like... Coach of the year. You won coach my desk here. It showed up this morning. We don't have that. Did you get like a –
Coach of the year.
You won coach of the year.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Licking County League coach of the year.
Hell, yeah.
What happened in the playoff game you lost?
First of all, they were good.
We just graduated our four-year starting point guard,
and then before her was a four-year starting point guard.
So we knew our hole was point guard.
They full court pressed us the whole game. Wow threw it all over the gym so the other coach
talked shit uh as soon as the first time i walked out the other fans they packed the gym oh really
started chanting like port noise your daddy and oh uh you're kind of you kind of but also like
you were the deon sanders of of ohio high school girls basketball where like everyone that played
you wanted to beat your ass because you talk
so much and you're so cocky and
whatever else. Yeah. It sort of felt like that
was the energy you were bringing.
I thought our girls were on the
we had the Granville
against the world flag so
we bought into it but
it was good.
State finals is this weekend.
Is that team in them? They got beat. Oh wow. They got beat. But finals is this weekend. Is that team in them?
They got beat.
Oh, wow. They got beat.
But they play – there's a team that's the three-time defending state champ.
They got a top two player in the country and two other Ohio State commits.
So, I was going to be here no matter what.
Yeah.
I just want to go on record.
I was going to come to the state championship.
Yeah, but –
That would have been so –
I was bummed out, yeah.
I was trying to –
I didn't surprise you. I had plans and everything. and everything and really yeah yeah that was my number one duo would
have been you and brandon but i didn't want brandon wasn't going to come he said he wasn't okay he's
too busy fishing yeah he has to manteek yeah yeah he has to manteek yeah i headed my calendar and
everything march uh it's 20 years march upcoming yeah march upcoming yep yeah that's
what i wrote down he did yep you just stole the show titus what's going on with your house
everything good oh yeah oh any update not really i responded to the guy um and then he never wrote
me back so nothing's really via text he's right i sent an email back he's gonna have to kick it
up a notch and i was just kind of like, we don't really want to sell it.
It'd have to be something outrageous.
I threw out a number.
You did throw out a number.
How many lines did the number take?
And then I never heard back.
So that's all.
It was kind of boring.
Damn.
For now.
But I like KB's thought that there's treasure in there
that'll just hang out
in the back of my mind
just think about that
yeah
every time I'm
investigating a corner
of my house
I'm gonna think about that
you're gonna have kids
and instead of them
like finding an easter egg
on easter
they're gonna find
like a gun
and a body
yeah
yeah
in a closet
in your basement
yeah
that would be
yeah chances are realm of possibility yeah do we have any update on Kate in a closet in your basement. Yeah. That would be...
Yeah.
Chances are.
That's a realm of possibility.
Do we have any update on Kate?
Is she still...
Still waiting on the elevator to go up.
Do you ever crave bloodlust?
Violence?
What?
You ever like,
oh, I really...
Push to the point of revenge.
I'm good at exacting revenge,
but I want to take it a step further. Not that, what you ever like oh i like push to the point of revenge i'm good at exacting revenge but i
want to take it a step yeah further not that but i do enjoy a good uh back and forth you ever smiled
reading an obituary i i got uh i got suspended from my high school newspaper for writing the
obituaries page i used to i used to what the fuck i used to it was so funny i used to kill things and then
the problem was is people would like listen right you would what do you mean by thing like okay
after game dances are lame i'd put them in the obituary oh okay no no no no no no no no no no
i took out this rabbit the one that got carlson's husband died
the one that got me was was they removed the color black
from our school colors. We were red,
black, and white. They became red and white.
Oh, wow.
Kate's wet.
Yes, she is.
Kate, good work.
Don't you feel
better?
It's a tough visual for me
all right we can we can. We can end it.
Your trooper, Tate, welcome.
Thanks, guys. Excited to work with you.
Very excited.
That's the Yak.
All right.
That's the Yak.
Hell yeah.
Cool.
Bye.
Bye. See you tomorrow.
Have a good week, everybody.
Bye.