The Yak - SHEESH! The Steven Cheah Grilling Saga Continues | The Yak 8-8-24
Episode Date: August 8, 2024TJ's dad takes on the gauntletYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Yo, TJ, hold that up.
Welcome to the Yak.
Here I am, much to my dismay, Cal B, with an unchanged esophagus.
Oh, it didn't change.
It didn't happen.
Did we tell Kate we were doing the show at noon?
That's on us. Roback.com.
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So your surgery didn't happen?
Well, it was as close as it could have been.
Were you on the IV in?
Oh, my God.
Had my fucking gown on. And they just said no pass well this the general
anesthetic they use i'm severely allergic to oh how did you find that out um with like the same
like informality as you like telling me you can't do the crossword
what do you mean the doctor came in right before and he was like me you can't do the crossword what do you mean the doctor came in
right before and he was like yeah we can't do it how did they discover you were allergic to it
so it's in my family like sure my mom was severely allergic my aunt went into a coma from it what
permanent memory loss from it oh god damn. So I'm not actually,
I never got tested,
but I just put it down
like for my allergies.
Sussing choline.
And I figured they would have
discovered that earlier
when I submitted the forms last week.
What time did you wake up today?
4.30.
Jesus.
And they don't have
a backup anesthesia?
And you Ubered up, it's pretty far north. had somebody driving so they did i was under the impression all my life i
just say it yeah my mom was like they don't even use this shit anymore but you say it just in case
yeah and they do have backups but like this one is like it's short lasting so that's what they
primarily use and they couldn't pivot, I guess.
Well, thank goodness you said it.
It's a massive waste of time, yeah.
Did White Boy Rick still...
No, he canceled last night.
No way.
Kyle was paying White Boy Rick $100 to bring him home from surgery.
Cody.
Cody did, and he got in a car accident on the way up.
Cody did?
What?
That's your
head. Yeah, that's my guy.
That sounds like
Cody. That's about right.
He's a good dude, though.
Good kid. It was like an hour in traffic.
Did you reschedule?
No. Waiting for them.
So this may never happen.
So you might have a
deformed esophagus forever.
That sucks.
You were going to be able to burp tonight.
I was so excited.
I was excited for you.
I was so excited to go under, to fuck off for the rest of the day and weekend.
Yeah.
Now you've got to run the fucking triathlon.
What are we doing?
Yeah, I was going to bench you, but now you've got to fucking run.
I have a flight at 6 p.m., and I'm still here.
Wow.
Oh, that's crazy.
Wait, are you going to be here for the whole Olympics?
Heavens no.
I'm leaving halfway through this.
Through the act.
Yeah.
Well, you're going to leave at 1 o'clock for a 6 p.m. flight.
You know how the traffic to O'Hare.
Yeah, you're right.
You've got to get to the macaroni grill and start downing Pinot Grigio.
Yeah.
I'm going to lounge. I'm going to lounge.
I'm going to lounge up.
Where are you going?
Shout out Boy Dad.
Huh?
Where are you going?
Pittsburgh.
I didn't know that.
Rough and Rowdy.
Oh, that's right.
You did know that.
I knew that.
I knew that.
I refuse to do the lounge bullshit, by the way.
I think it's so overrated.
I know.
You ride a bus.
Yeah.
You took a Greyhound bus.
That's why you don't do the lounge.
It's overrated. It's my choice. I'm a man of the people. I took a Greyhound bus. That's why you don't take a lounge.
It's my choice.
I'm a man of the people.
I've also never gone to a lounge.
Fuck a lounge.
Is the lounge a more comfortable chair?
Chargers.
You always have a spot. Free food and drink.
Can always find a charger.
Free food and drink.
Yeah.
And there's less mook types.
Okay.
All right. Okay. I I gotta hit the lounge I apologize
I don't want to be around your fucking type dude
I think airport is like
My favorite crowd
To deal with
It's not a bad crowd
I love it
He was homeless by choice
He wanted to be
And he was nice enough.
He prayed for you.
Prayed for me.
Wrote me a little book.
I like hanging out in airports.
I love hanging out in airports.
It's like a nicer mall.
Yeah.
I always meet a good dude
at an airport.
There's always a bookstore.
I always meet braggarts.
People that love to brag
at airport bars.
Oh, yeah.
Always.
Something about airport bars.
People chat and chat and brag.
They're quick to show pictures of different homes they have.
Oh, yeah.
And I'll stoke the fire.
I'm like, show me more.
It's overweight men that are Norwood 2 and are going to cheat on their wives with a transitioning person in Bali.
Every time.
Every time.
Dude.
Norwood too?
Yeah.
It's an epidemic.
It's all of Asia.
All of Eastern Asia.
Norwood too, right?
Whatever.
Yeah.
The balding dudes that go and they feel less shame flirting with Asian women.
Yeah.
Because they can't get like formally can't get rejected
in english right so it doesn't feel like a rejection why do ball guys go to turkey for
the hair transplant why don't we have that here why do they we do it's a lot cheaper in turkey
is that all it is ken jack eddie uh nicky smokes white socks. Dave are all going to Turkey with wanton.
Those dudes,
those dudes got a no hair group chat.
Yeah.
They're doing like no hair means.
But like,
even if they double white socks,
Dave's amount of strands,
he's still like not a two neck guitars worth of hair.
TJ,
can I see why socksck's Dave's hair?
It's way, way cheaper, I believe.
I think it's like $3,000.
And they've actually booked it, correct?
Yeah, I guess Donnie's doing a video taking all these men.
The procedure is cheaper.
Getting to Turkey can't be cheap.
Yeah, that's what I'm confused by.
I think it's like a minimum $10,000 here.
Oh, I see these videos of the guys on the planes,
and you just spot the bald heads just one after another that are coming back from Turkey.
I thought maybe we just had different rules that were a lot more lax,
and everybody could get them.
Maybe we had qualifiers.
I thought they had better doctors.
Yeah, I thought it was better doctors.
That's what they're known for.
Some of the guys may be getting it for free, too.
I think they have to owe like 28 Instagram posts.
So unfollow them all now.
28 grid posts about their hair.
I would almost rather pay more than be like, look at this.
Should I get White Sox Dave down here?
I'm just curious.
Let's get Danny Conrad down here to talk about it.
Yeah, fuck it.
We can bring him down.
I did think you were kidding at first.
This is real?
Yes.
This group is actually going to Turkey, and they're all getting hair plugs together?
Yes.
For a Wanton Don video.
I got mad at Smokes the other day.
I said, go get hair plugs.
I was joking.
Took it to heart.
He's going.
Okay, good for him.
He needs to.
I think it's so. He's going. Okay, good for him. He needs to. I think it's...
Oh, yeah.
He should go now.
He's...
He's...
I don't know if he needs plugs or if he just needs some hair moved around.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think they just need to shift it.
Like, relocate.
Put the size in the front.
He's got a lot of torso hair, doesn't he?
He's got it. Oh, he's got arm? He's got shoulder hair. Yeah, he's got shoulder hair in the front. He's got a lot of torso hair, doesn't he? He's got it.
Oh, he's got arm?
He's got shoulder hair.
Yeah, he's got shoulder hair.
Shoulder, back, chest.
Move all that to the top.
And it was Nicky Smokes, Eddie, and White Sox Dave, and Wonton Don.
And Ken Jack, I think.
I hope I'm not airing them out, but if they come back with, hey, me and all the boys are
going to Turkey and then come back with really thick hair.
Well, I think too, you can't wear a hat and it takes a while.
It's like a freshly planted like rows of corn.
It looks so gross.
It looks so gross.
And they have like, they just have to walk around like that.
What was it like here when Dave got hair plugs?
Was that a big day?
I think he like, he got to be undercover for a little while, while it healed.
I don't think he was walking around, but these guys are going to have to be walking around.
Didn't Nate noogie him?
Very soon after.
It looks good.
Yeah, it's held.
Yeah, I guess so.
Is there a chance it doesn't work?
There's always a chance any procedure doesn't work.
If it's like a one in five and one of those dudes loses it, we should all take one.
Who we think will be the big.
Yeah, we should bet.
It's going to be White Sox Dave.
It's Dave.
It's White Sox Dave.
No question.
He's going to have a scarred up head.
If he has a patch missing out of his hair or something.
That would be so awesome.
Where it grows more into his beard and it goes up higher.
Like fuck up the implant
we got to do the uh we're doing the day three of the summer games today so
uh you can watch after that uh watch after this show do you recommend watching it brandon
i do recommend watching it i recommend watching it uh it's been a fun time any events in particular
uh i mean goddamn mook yesterday god damn brandon mook
with the past of the century big customer baby yeah um it was a it was a pleasure feeding you
i owe an apology to reeks i thought he was faking his yeah they kept making fun they kept acting
like he wasn't hurt yeah as soon as i got up there travel i blew my whistle i was like it's
traveling that was a travel yeah it was a travel That was a travel. Yeah. It was a travel. That was a good call. Yeah, thank you.
But I was just like, it was all so perfect.
It was Titus wasn't playing.
Yeah.
And then you guys went down.
It was all perfect.
Thank you for pointing that out, Nick.
It was all perfect with me not playing.
I agree.
It did.
That was perfect.
It did.
It seemed like a setup, but watching him go down, I knew immediately that there was something
bad wrong.
Yeah.
And he hasn't gone to the doctor yet.
He did yesterday.
He went to the – he's scheduled an MRI for when he gets home.
Okay.
So he didn't go to the MRI doctor.
He said he got up in the morning to put on his shoes and, like, screamed in pain.
Yeah.
I still think he's faking.
I think I take it as an insult that you think it's more likely that I came up with a comedic bit
where we would fake an injury and then I would come into the game rather than just like I didn't want to play I was happy you came in the game because I
got to cross you up oh god damn oh shit fuck I'm I'm just it's it's a joke it's a joke when did
you cross me up it was the final the final play it's well that wasn't exaggerating it was a joke
it was a good pass when did you when did you cross me off? We can pull the clip.
You've got to go to one side of the.
Pull the clip.
When did you pull?
Not this clip.
We're already past it.
So you know exactly where.
I watched it a hundred times yesterday.
A rare win for me here.
I think that might be my first win on camera ever.
I don't know that I've had another
one. I feel like you have a lot of
massive W's and massive L's. You're my favorite
to win surviving barstool this season.
Why?
I'm putting it out there. I'm manifesting.
They just added Francis to
it today. I think they added Francis and Robbie Fox.
Two good guys. Yeah, two great
guys. I went back and
watched basketball last night
because I have nothing. This is the only W
I have recorded as well.
There were some chat nicknames for me.
Mook
22. What's that?
I hit a no jumper jumper. That was good.
Amuka Okafor.
Hima Lajamook.
That's bad. Retarded Loser
That one
rolls off the
big tongue.
And then Mukadanchage.
Which one do we pick out of that?
It might be Mukadanchage.
I don't know.
Retarded Loser is smooth.
It does roll off the tongue.
It was fun yesterday.
Go back and watch that.
I need it.
Go back and watch that.
I need it.
Everybody stop what you're doing.
Yeah, pause.
Turn this off.
Turn this off.
I heard you changed your credentials before you were announced on stage before stand-up now.
You may know him from The Assist to Brandon from episode two of the Barstool Summer Games.
Yeah, at the hour 45 mark.
It is crazy because our team is doing good in the Olympics
and we have a shot to win.
I know now that I'm saying it out loud we're going to lose,
but there's no prize if we do win.
None whatsoever.
It's one of the few events we have.
Is there really?
There's no prize.
There's no prize.
There's the cross.
Guarded by Titus. Well, I was kind of a pick there. Guard There's no prize. There's no prize. There's the cross.
Well, I was kind of a pick there, man.
You see, I kind of nudge him.
This is my Super Bowl.
Okay.
All right, if you need it, you can have it.
Titus, he needs it.
He crossed me.
He fucked me up.
Thanks, man. I went home and cried over that.
This is Riggs' fault.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
He's supposed to golf in Ireland in like two weeks.
He's been planning it for 24 years.
That's bad planning on him.
No, he hasn't.
I don't think he tore his Achilles, though.
I think there is some good news.
Should we have him run the gauntlet?
He's never done it.
I was worried that he was not going to walk normally ever again.
Yeah.
He's not.
Do you see him crawling out there?
I did.
Yeah, he's not going to walk normally anytime soon.
But I have to imagine you tear your Achilles.
Yeah.
At our age, it's a shriek.
Like, we take for granted that, like, the instances of torn Achilles that we see on television,
they then have the best medical doctors take care of them.
You're like, oh, Aaron Rodgers was back throwing a football later that year.
But if you were I, Tara Achilles, we're fucked.
It's career-ending for the most premier athletes ever.
Yeah.
It's like life-ending.
It might be career-ending for us as podcasts.
Yes.
You just say, ow. Riggs is down and maybe hurt. It's like life-ending. It might be career-ending for us as podcasts. Yes, it's off.
You just say, ow.
Riggs is down and maybe hurt.
I don't think he tore it, but I'm not a doctor.
But it seems like he might be better off than we originally thought.
I felt bad because as soon as he went down, I just did this and looked away.
Then I turned back around and I was like, oh, he's actually hurt.
But then you crossed up Titus. I immediately showed empathy. because as soon as he went down, I just did this and looked away. Then I turned back around, and I was like, oh, he's actually hurt.
But then you crossed up Titus.
Then you crossed up Mark.
I immediately showed empathy and compassion for him.
Well, I guess I was the only one.
I was cracking wise.
TJ.
Yep.
Your piece of shit parents in town?
What?
Yeah, they are.
Where the fuck are they?
Should I send?
No, not yet.
He's going to run the gauntlet today?
I think so.
They want us to do it early.
Oh, he's nervous.
So they can set the summer games up.
So they asked us to do the gauntlet in the first half hour, if possible.
Oh, you were going to get around to telling me that?
Stefan texted me five minutes ago.
Okay, okay, okay.
So where is your dad?
He's in here. Okay, we'll do it at minutes ago. Okay. So where is your dad? He's in here.
Okay.
We'll do it at 1230.
Okay.
Are both the folks in there?
Yep.
What's up, guys?
Hello.
Hi.
You're the best. You feel like only child was an all-your-eggs-in-one-basket kind of move?
That was it.
That's all we got.
No further questions. Now now I have a question
I called the Mr. and Mrs. Hitchings
and they said they gave me Tim and
I'm sorry TJ I forget your mom's name
Maureen Tim and Maureen
did you guys grow up as Mr. and Mrs. people
because I know some people are like
oh yeah I had to call everybody
I still do
I had some parents that were like call me Katie and I was still do i still do or sir ma'am yeah i had
some parents that were like call me katie and i was like i can't can't do that yeah and i was like
11 i was like i can't call you katie yeah i can't do it no then some kids called their parents that
that was bad hated that i didn't want to be at that house first name yeah didn't like that hey
hey chad no i'm not oh i can't be around who calls their dad Chad. Some of my aunts and uncles now are like, please just call me Chris or whatever.
I can't.
I'm like, Uncle Chris.
Yeah.
I can't do it.
Yeah, I will never.
Anybody a second older than me will always be Mr. or Mrs.
I almost want to call you Mr. Walker.
I would like for you to.
All right, Mr. Walker.
That's pretty cool.
Felt pretty good.
Felt pretty good. Do any of you guys have a weird name for your grandma because it feels weird if you're still
calling her gam gam okay my family doesn't do that so i don't like yeah i was always grandma grandpa
nanny you go nanny my it's kate i know i'm looking at a meemaw person no no my mom's dad was a real
blue collar guy from philly and her and my aunt thought it was funny,
like he wasn't about fancy stuff.
They got us to start calling him Grand Pierre
when we were little,
and so my whole life I called him my Grand Pierre.
Like, he was like a fancy French guy.
Yeah, that's awful.
It's terrible.
And, like, yeah.
Thankfully he died early enough
that it was a few years he had to deal with it.
But, yeah.
I want to do a Yak episode with just your entire extended family they would do it my brother and sister have kids
before me and uh they've already started the where my parents are like whatever me mall or i don't
know what the fuck those those kids call them and i'm already i'm pretty mad about my kids being
forced to call my parents pat pat because they want pretty mad about my kids being forced to call my parents
pat pat because they want the other ones i don't want to raise my kids that way but that's the
precedent it's already been started and i'm i'm already angry about it i don't even have kids
so i had an awkward thing in my family i was uh i i was an only grandchild forever because i'm 16
years older than my sister or any of my cousins and i always called my grandmother granny but when they came through they changed it to ninny so here i am uh old me
saying granny granny granny and the other grandkids are all saying ninny and and she liked that better
so i'm just they don't respect your precedent they didn't respect my precedent yeah they didn't
respect it ninny ninny's british i didn't like nanny. Granny is sexual.
Granny's not sexual.
Why do you think granny's sexual?
Why do we have a granny?
That's only you.
I mean, that's what...
Granny feels a little sexual.
That is what they label.
That's pornographic terminology.
Granny certainly...
So wait, if I say granny style, what do you think of it?
That's ex-hamster nomenclature.
It's always granny gets fucked.
That's how they call them.
I wouldn't call my grandma granny.
Never.
If you were to sexualize a grandmother, you'd call her granny.
Yeah, she's a granny.
For sure.
Like an apocryphal elderly woman, that's a granny.
I had a granny, and then my great-grandmother was still alive.
She was mamaw.
I had mamaw and granny.
How'd granny look?
No, come on. No.
Yeah.
If you see an old woman at a concert showing chest and abs, that's a Granny.
That's a Granny.
Yeah.
You know where you see a lot of Grannies?
Motorcycle culture, I feel like.
Exactly. Oh, yeah.
What's that thing going on right now up in North Dakota?
Sturgis?
Yeah.
I've seen a lot of clips and there's a lot of Grannies.
When you could have a, um, when there was the competition
for the fan vote to name the next Mountain Dew,
a gushing grannies won.
Gushing it, right?
Was that like a 4chan troll?
It was a 4chan troll, and then there was some really
awful ones. Oh, they've done some good shit
boys. Hey, uh, hey Hitchings.
Um. Hitchings
Senior? Yeah, Hitchings Senior and Mother Hitchings.
When Don't do this, Brandon.
When TJ fucks the shit out of a girl and gets her pregnant,
what do you want your grandparents' names to be?
When he leaves himself into based after completion.
When he cream pops.
When he busts in a woman and makes her pregnant,
what do you all want your grandparent names to be?
Based is crazy.
Do you want me to slap Brandon?
Because I'll go do it.
No, we need to hear this answer here.
Yes, Maureen?
Tim?
Can we get him a mic?
Get him a mic.
Oh, they're on it.
They're on it.
Tim?
If you need us to repeat the question, we can repeat it.
Do you have headphones on?
Did you not hear the question?
Well, he's occupied.
Sexy grandma would be cool.
Sexy grandma would be good.
Oh, there we go.
Sexy grandma.
Okay.
TJ, get filling, bud.
Yeah, dude.
Does that mean Tim Hitchens is going to be sexy grandpa?
He's not sexy grandpa.
No, it's got to be something different.
More of a dirty grandpa.
Dirty grandpa.
Dirty grandpa.
There you go, TJ. You got sexy grandma and dirty grandpa. Thanks, it's got to be something different. More of a dirty grandpa. Dirty grandpa. Dirty grandpa. There you go, TJ.
You got sexy grandma and dirty grandpa.
Thanks, Brandon.
You got it, buddy.
I can, I just, nobody can bring parents in.
No, no.
I know what you mean by granny now.
No.
I, it's not like some super subtle thing.
It's like if you go to a porn site, I don't know, 10 years ago at least when I was looking.
But granny in porn is like 40 years old.
Yeah, true.
Yeah.
True.
Damn.
I don't, that's my grandma.
Granny.
I called her that for 40 years.
Update my OnlyFans.
Yeah, granny.
I called my great grandma granny number one.
Kate, you're about to genre flip.
Yeah. God, Katie Money Grants. granny number one. Kate, you're about to genre flip. Yeah.
God, Katie Money Grants.
Hit me up.
From M to G.
I had not only a great-grandmother for part of my life, I had a great-great-grandmother
until I was 20.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Great-great?
I had a great-great.
Wait, what year was she born?
I don't know.
1830.
I think she died at like 100 in the 90s.
Was it uncomfortable to be around her?
No.
Did she know who you were ever?
No, I don't think anybody, I didn't see her much.
And then my great-grandmother, she was around until I was like 40.
What?
Yeah, she lived a while.
Is that they were having kids young?
Yeah, yeah.
Although the women that produced me, about every 20 years, bang, here they come.
Here they come. Here they come.
Just here comes the new generation.
Yep.
Do any of you have like super elite cousins?
I got some decently elite cousins.
What do you mean by elite?
Like athlete or intellectual?
It could be career-wise.
This is sad.
I'm the elite cousin.
Oh, dear God.
Well, you crossed up Titus.
That family is going to be in prison.
Yeah.
I have cousins who are doing
way, way better than me in every way.
You have hundreds of cousins, right?
Yeah. Your family, and y'all
all get together like every summer. You have a huge
extended family that loves each other?
Yes. I have cousins here who do way better than
me. They have a lake house and it works out great i'm too nervous to get to know my cousins because
i'm like the youngest yeah won't talk to him that's so weird to me i don't talk to i'm the
same when i go to my grandma i like hold on to the back of my mom's shirts they're like my favorite
people to go out with on the planet because they have to love me no matter what i don't think on
the surface they do i think cousins can get away with not loving each other. No, they don't have to like you.
Oh, there's gossip.
But we love each other.
So none of mine are like similarly aged.
Are yours like close in age to you?
We're like, there's like 42 of us and we're like one after the next.
42?
That's fun.
On my dad's side alone.
42 cousins?
Each of the 13 had like four kids and then blah, blah, blah.
Damn. Damn.
Yeah.
I have four cousins on one side and three on the other.
I'm sure I've extended cousins too that I don't really know,
but I don't have many cousins at all.
Do you have any war hero cousins?
No war hero cousins, no rich cousins.
Just Brent Walker who has a pool now.
Oh, is he the elite cousin?
He has a pool, yeah.
In ground? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, is he the elite cousin? He has a pool, yeah. In-ground?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Call him Shady.
Were you guys the house growing up that you hosted family gatherings?
No, no.
I had such a small family.
My mom, every holiday we would have the...
In the Catholic Church, they're called brothers.
She would invite the brothers up, and we would have dinner with them.
The brothers?
Yeah, they're like male nuns.
I don't know. We'd have all the brothers at all the holidays instead of our with them. The brothers? Yeah, they're like male nuns. I don't know.
We'd have all the brothers at all the holidays instead of our actual family.
I had a different set of brothers.
Yeah, yeah, in your hood.
Interesting.
So like the monks?
I ask, but they were, yeah.
Okay.
Were they fun?
I feel like that would be nerve-wracking.
I think my dad asked if one of us has ever gotten pussy, and he was like, yeah, I have.
You have a new Catholic anecdote every day.
Catholicism is weird.
Yeah.
It just is.
Even if you cut out the greatest hits of pedophilia,
there's still a lot of weird shit.
Yeah.
You could take out their head.
Pedophilia overshadows a lot of their other flaws. Yeah. So if you cut that out, still a Hall of weird shit yeah you could take out the head of philia overshadows a lot of their
other flaws yeah so if you cut that out still a hall of fame weird career it's like taking away
hank aaron's 755 home still impressive he still has three thousand yeah yeah uh i is wheeling a
catholic town like majority catholic yeah because i didn't know any catholics growing up you're
baptist yeah baptist i don't know what is what is like a stereotype of a baptist in contrast to it uh baptist is kind of holier than now
you know their baptisms are fun they have a whole big pool yeah we have a pool you do rivers a lot
don't you you can do rivers yeah lakes do do do ponds your preachers are always blotting forehead
of sweat beads telling everybody to hold on i'm
gonna get going in a minute shit like that but they still like get down like they fucking party
yeah but they don't baptists are not forward facing partiers they'll if you see a babs in
a liquor store they'll look the other way yeah your presbyterians your episcopalians they're
they're ready to fucking go but baptists are not the southern people are fake by nature
i don't believe that to be true.
I don't believe that.
Which I commend.
I feel like all people are fake by nature.
I think a lot of people should be fake.
Isn't everybody fake by nature?
Adapt to different communities.
Well, that's the South.
It's like if you say, like, bless her heart, that's mean.
Right.
That's pretty mean as shit.
But then you'll commit heinous hate crimes on Saturday night,
and then you've got to be like, get up for church.
Wasn't that like a lot of country songs? It's like like fuck a dead deer on saturday night but pray up to
god on sun that was a big yeah yeah that was really good that was a big hit in my town yeah
every every country song since 2002 has had the line and in my town yeah was that was that uh
montgomery gentry's fault uh they, it was either them or Aldine.
Shit.
Aldine might have done it.
Yeah, Kate, one of my Delco aunts,
whenever she gets into like a tiff in like the grocery store,
will just say, Jesus loves you.
Ooh, brutal.
That's the meanest thing somebody can say.
That cuts deep.
How many grocery store tiffs is she getting into?
A good amount.
Yeah, she works there.
I don't know that I've ever had a grocery store tiff. Yeah, no, they get into heated arguments. I think most tiffs. getting into a good amount yeah she works there i don't know that i've ever had a grocery store tiff yeah no they get into heated arguments i think most coupons most tiffs happen
in traffic or parking lots oh yeah it's so true i think i think most tiffs happen there some tiffs
could happen in stores but most tiffs happen in the park you acting up in traffic every day i mean
you've gotten not every day but i'll i'll i'll yeah i'll get i'll get sideways in traffic do you admit when it's your fault uh every time okay every time i once i once uh cut
when i was moving out here i was in the u-haul i accidentally cut off a semi i cut his ass off
and then we we went down the road we were at a toll booth and i cut him off and then we the next
toll booth was 10 miles away i sat and waited for him to come up so i could say my bad my bad sorry about that was he cool about it he was like he was all methed out yeah it was it was
a good moment i like having moments with people in traffic like positive moments like you ever
have somebody acknowledge you in traffic like oh just driving down the interstate and you're both
driving fast and you're helping each other and one time i exited and the guy who had been my
partner just looked at me and went like that and i I was like, Oh fuck. Yeah. You're doing slingshots like Ricky Bob.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You let me in here.
I'll let you in down there.
I get that a lot in Chicago.
The drivers here are kind and patient to a fault.
They are.
They would let you turn in front of them.
They'll wait for maple syrup to cross the road.
I think 80% of my Ubers almost end in accidents or arguments yeah yours are
aggressive yes i think too slow and unaggressive i have to wait for geese to cross the road about
once every five trips down here there's a there's a there's two there's two lakes on either side of
the road up in antioch and there's just a squad of geese like 30 geese and they cross the road
i don't know why these motherfuckers don't fly right but and every day there's just a squad of geese, like 30 geese. And they cross the road. I don't know why these motherfuckers don't fly.
Right.
And every day there's almost like a goose coordinator.
There's a different guy.
Somebody will get out of their car and just ho, ho.
Everybody stop.
Everybody stop.
I hate geese.
And they walk across.
They could fly.
Yeah.
But they're making a statement.
They are making a statement.
They know they got us.
They shit so much.
So much.
You guys are around geese enough?
I'm around geese a lot.
If you go to a pond that has a lot of geese,
you can't walk on the bank.
You can't walk anywhere near it.
There's shit everywhere.
And it's stinky shit.
And slippery, too.
You bet I fucking played with that shit.
You played with the geese?
I'm just doing up the butthole thing.
You're feeding into the chat.
Ducks are lovely.
Ducks are my favorite animal.
Ducks are great. Except. And they taste amazing. You're feeding into the chat. Ducks are lovely, and I'll say that twice. Ducks are my favorite animal. Ducks are great.
Except.
And they taste amazing.
Quirk screw penis.
Quirk screw penis.
They had to get rid of the ducks
next to my house.
Why?
I might be doxing myself.
There's a duck coop by my house.
There's a lot of ducks.
There's a duck coop by my house,
but they were sharing it with chickens,
and the ducks raped the chickens.
The ducks raped the chickens.
Yeah, ducks will do that.
They had to put up a sign.
Duck will rape a chicken. Cheese and Quackers had to put up a sign. Duck will rape a chicken.
Cheese and Quackers had to go to a different farm
due to rape.
And the chickens were wearing a vest
because they got
their feathers raped out.
So are the ducks moved on to a new farm
to rape new chickens?
No, I think they're just going to be with their own kind.
Do they rape each other?
Listen, I don't know.
Geese and ducks, that's
what we're on right now. Oh, yeah? Yeah, we had a
duck rape a chicken. There's a
chicken coop in the vicinity of my neighborhood.
I'm like four blocks
away from it. How big?
It's a decent sized coop.
Chickens have a shit life.
They get tortured.
But they're dumb as hell.
They're dumb as all hell.
All other birds are smart.
Turkeys are dumb, but ducks?
Smart.
Any parakeet, macaw, yesterday's wordle.
Are they smart?
I guess they're smart. they just i guess they're smart
they're not they don't know they're saying a word they're just repeating a pattern correct
what i have a dumb question about that like what a chick like what is going on in a chicken's head
not much they just think of food is it just like where's food the entire they're like fish
tiny brains i don't know how even we could figure that out. Yeah.
I guess you're right.
Not be goddamn.
Is it like I have to shit?
That's it.
Yeah.
Pretty much the same as us. If you see a family of ducks and or geese crossing a fairly non-crowded highway,
maybe like 25% filled, what's the move?
Is it fully stop or do you kind of um gotta plow through che
i'd like to ask how close of attention you're paying to the today's show well you said that
on like a country we're like by yourself so like you know rose where there's pretty easy to stop
no it's on a highway oh it's on a highway yeah it's on the highway leading out of town going
to the interstate figure let me revise the interstate interstate the the i think the geese are
kind of on their own uh any highway that's two lanes or any highway that's that has like red
lights and stop signs i think you can stop for geese interstate has no interstate has no stops
you're saying do you just mow down i don't know if you mow them down but also geese are smart
enough not to be on interstate i feel I feel like. Are they? Yeah.
I think so.
I think they're cocky.
One of the worst. I ran over a turtle on the New Jersey Parkway once in my dad's minivan, and I still think about it.
I hit a deer on the way up to school once.
I hit a raccoon.
I used to stop and get turtles out of the road.
I would have, but I...
You didn't see him?
No.
It was nighttime.
Yeah.
It was too late.
There was a family of ducks crossing once on the kit you might know the long
beach island like causeway yeah um so it's like 65 or 55 or 65 there's pretty fast there is a
light occasionally but it's pretty fast moving and there is a family of ducks crossing wasn't very
crowded when i was a teenager i think and i only came to a full stop and people were like swerving
behind me and cursing at me and all that stuff. But some geese got plowed down by other people.
Damn.
Damn.
You're a hero.
I don't know what the right move is.
I honestly don't know what I'm doing.
The rule is never slow down on the interstate.
That's what traffic jams are for.
You have to pummel.
But it's also, you're allowed to slow down for dogs, but you can't for cats.
I think cats are like run overable in the eyes of the law.
Maybe I saw that on a show.
Well, dogs.
I think you're allowed to slow down for dogs.
Cats, no.
I'm slowing down for a cat 100% of the time.
I'm speeding up.
Cat gets on the interstate, I might just shield it with my car and get that damn thing off.
I had a dream you found a kitten last night.
God damn it, that's a great dream.
What, orange?
Can dog people at least admit that little kittens
clear all animals yes thank you especially that's all i need especially the sound they make
no no i i would kitties over puppies you won't get that puppies are good too i don't think there's
nothing as adorable kitties are elite no they have the smallest little face have you ever had
one curl up on your chest? A little kitten?
Puppies are undefeated.
Puppies never lost.
Yeah, puppies.
Puppies never lost.
I'm a dog guy.
I don't like cats.
I'm a kitten guy.
Kittens get me.
I think kittens are the best.
I like kittens, but I think you're disrespecting puppies a little bit.
Imagine somebody walked in and-
It's crazy coming from you, Kyle, honestly.
I'm not like you.
When you put it that way, I'm now on your side.
I'd like a box of kittens for this office.
Puppies are still the best.
And then when they grow up a little bit, we kill them
and get new kittens.
That's what you do.
We could just get a cat
walking around here, right? Yeah.
There's bodegas, all sorts of stores have a cat.
Why couldn't we have a cat?
We have cats in the back, for sure.
Has to.
There are cats living behind this building, for sure.
I almost want to just send some...
Maybe not.
First intern to find a cat?
Or first person to find a cat.
Or just send somebody out and they can't come back
until they find a cat.
Let's go on a cat hunt.
What if we just released a cat in the office?
Nothing would happen. It would be awesome. There'd just be a cat in here. Tom Leia has one come back until they find a cat. What if we just go on a cat hunt? What if we just released a cat in the office? Nothing would happen.
It would be awesome.
There'd just be a cat in here.
Tom Leia has one.
Tom Leia has a cat?
He brought it in here for an episode once.
Mika.
He's a cat guy?
Yep.
He's a good cat guy.
I'd love to be a cat guy.
Yeah, cat guys don't feel the need to flaunt their pets.
It's because they enjoy it in private.
No, it's because it's in Paris.
Kyle, you have a whole room dedicated to this.
It's the majority of your conversations.
I'm deathly allergic, which is unfortunate.
I'm allergic.
I'm deathly allergic to sussine choline,
a general anesthetic that they were going to use on me today.
Your little burps.
If I hadn't.
So how close were you to coma?
I was laying down like this. Like calm? With my bonnet how close were you to coma? I was in the,
I was laying down like this.
Like calm?
With my bonnet on.
Were you mentally prepared?
I was so excited.
Like I wanted to like,
yeah, relax, go under, wake up.
And now my stomach is gurgling.
Oh no.
Oh, because you couldn't eat.
Hi.
What do we got here?
Tom Lee's cat Mika.
Oh, cute.
Wait, cats don't like water oh what a goofball they they're cute they love water they just don't like getting wet it makes sense that is a cute cat that loves getting close to it
i you love cats i love cats tommy's, so I can't have a cat or a dog.
But growing up, we would have three or four cats at a time.
That's too many.
No, that's the right amount.
Were they outside cats?
When you live in the country, they're inside cats that you let outside,
and then they can just go out in the woods and do whatever.
Did you have a litter box in your house?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I had a litter box in my house.
That's disgusting as fuck.
It is.
I imagine you had a very small house. Standard three three bedroom too bad okay uh but cats don't get enough credit for how
much their shit stinks oh it's a shitty it's a shitty smell yep a really bad smell does yours
use that robot kyle yeah is that pretty good yeah it's great they're unnecessarily huge
they're too big. Cats or robots?
And you still smell it.
Really?
So it's just like technologically efficient.
You smell it bad.
Yeah, horrible shit.
Dogs will just, you have to like watch them shit and piss like how many times a day?
Three.
Three at least.
I don't have to watch my cat.
Yeah, cats can shit on their own.
Yeah.
They can go handle their own shit and cover it up.
Dog, you have to kind of be there with them.
It is interesting how picking up dog shit, walking your dog is extremely normalized.
Yeah.
Like you're just picking up shit.
Nobody's bothered by that.
No.
Because it's their own dog.
Yeah.
It's still shit.
It's still gross as fuck.
And it's hot.
It's always hot.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Same from the inside.
What do you got, Brandon?
We got a new advertiser today.
We've had them before.
We have them?
Is it one of the products I love?
Yeah.
Is it?
You love these?
Yeah.
What is it?
Mando.
Oh, Mando.
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This right here, the flavor is bourbon leather.
Yeah.
Those are two good-smelling things.
Tell me about it.
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This one's Mount Fuji.
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Really?
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You love Asian things.
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And the plane, baby.
Got it.
We got there.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, sorry. I went 10 minutes over gauntlet time
yes tim hitchings tim get your fucking ass out here mr hitchens
oh uh titus is clenching his fist. Tim. Have a seat for a second, Tim.
Looking skinny.
Looking good as hell.
I like beer.
Little bottle cap hat.
TJ said we were doing the case race today.
Oh, damn.
All right, fuck it.
Let's do it.
We could, yeah.
Do you want a beer?
TJ gave me a four-pack earlier today.
Pop it.
I haven't popped it.
Before trying to do that, no.
Well, I heard you've been training.
Yes, I have.
Is it basketball or what?
TJ's got a basketball court at his apartment complex.
I threw a couple of basketballs at the hoop and managed to get a couple in.
There we go.
Three-pointers?
It'll be good.
Yes, of course.
What else would you shoot?
Come on, Nick. Anything else. It's yak basketball. You're right. That's all we have. My mistake. Three-pointers? You'll be good. Yes, of course. Okay. What else would you shoot? Come on, Nick.
Anything else.
It's yak basketball.
You're right.
That's all we have.
My mistake.
Three-pointers?
I knew you were going to fucking embarrass me in front of Tim Hitchings.
Yeah, I fucked up.
How so?
I'm subbing out.
So, gauntlet time.
Sub three minutes is considered good, I think.
Look, I just want to beat Jeff D'Lo's score, okay?
All right.
He's here.
And I'd like to ask for the senior discount.
I am 67.
Oh, the new oldest.
Is that the oldest?
So 64 was the oldest?
Blutman was 64.
Did Blutman run it?
Blutman's 64.
Stu was 63.
That's right.
I'm going to hold the new record for oldest contestant, right?
Who's the youngest ever?
We've got to get a 90-year-old.
Maxine the Corrigan. That was-old. Maxine the Corgi.
Probably Sass.
Maxine the Corgi.
Oh, how old was Maxine?
I guess dog years.
I want to say it.
I like Maxine the Corgi a lot.
I didn't...
I'm scared to do it.
Didn't count as her doing it.
I don't think she did it.
I don't think she did it.
I think the human was doing it.
She was along for the ride.
Yeah.
I don't think it was Maxine.
She didn't shoot any shots.
Virtually nothing.
Yeah.
All right, Tim.
It's also not her climbing those cliffs.
Are you going to come out and guide me?
I got you.
That's Jared Leto.
I only trust you out there.
Yeah, you watch every day.
I don't have to tell you right now.
No, just make sure somebody fetches the soccer balls.
I don't want to see those flying all over the place.
No, you really don't.
Come on.
He's got a belly full of chicken Vesuvio from last night.
How was it? Got us chicken. Chicken Vesuvio from last night. How was it?
Got us chicken.
Chicken Vesuvio was awesome.
Do you take all your recommendations from Dante?
That's the only one I've gotten so far,
but sure, I'll take another one.
What do you got?
Question everything and don't get vaccinated?
Too late.
You might need to take the towel whip for now.
Oh, yeah.
I will take the towel whip for now. Oh, yeah. I will take the towel whip, sure.
With his permission.
I think Dante would probably grant that.
No.
Then he'd owe me something, wouldn't he?
And we should make sexy granny do it.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What are you, your dirty grandpa?
I always called my grandparents Grammy and Grampy.
Okay.
Yeah, but we got a plan for the future.
Kyle, is that sexual to you?
Grampy?
Oh, that's fine.
Thank you.
All right, Tim, let's go.
All right.
I think he's going to do under four minutes and 30 seconds.
Basketball is the one that keeps getting brought up with him.
So there must be a reason for that.
Oh, what a shirt.
He always meant that.
What a shirt.
What a shirt.
Oh, I hate Malisette.
Oh.
Nod to the goalie there.
Soak it all up.
Is Lucas out here too short a short?
Oh, get him out of here.
Lucas.
Look at those things.
His excuse for his shorts is like, I haven't bought shorts in so long.
Those are new.
Oh, yeah.
What's the excuse this time?
What's the excuse?
That's getting you
sent home from Catholic school.
Oh, yeah.
Why are your legs shaved?
Yeah, wait, why?
Okay.
They do look great. You look like you're canvassing for Jerry
that's exactly what's
wow
that's a good shirt
they look good
nice set of stems
what an odd bird
yeah
yeah he is
I'd rather be called awful things than an odd bird
yeah countdown tj we ready yeah cameras are a little out of place because of summer games
okay okay we will deal with it we'll deal with it ready This is our camera. Ready. Okay. Tim, whenever you're ready. Three, two, one.
Let's go, Beast.
And that's a wrap.
Oh, he's going fast.
Jeff D'Lo.
Uh-oh.
Oh, he's way to the left.
He's missing the board.
Oh, heavens.
Mr. Hitchings.
Missing the board, I fear.
Oh.
This has to be his worst nightmare. Has to be. Oh, my God. He's inks. Missing the board, I fear. Oh. This has to be his worst nightmare.
Has to be.
Oh, my God.
He's in hell.
Oh, my God.
Oh, it went in.
Didn't it?
No.
It went over the board, Nick.
Oh, shit.
I got a bad angle.
Reckless of band.
Oh, man.
Lock in.
Take your time.
That's it.
Got it.
Oh, come on.
Can I not go?
Oh, boy.
He'll make it up.
It's getting closer.
There it is.
Yay!
Oh, a double bag.
Good for him.
Cheeky cheeky.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. He's lost a lot of weight
Yeah
Finish
Oh
Baseball
Oh
Well fuck
Easy
I hope when I'm 67 Oh! Yeah! Well, fuck. Easy.
I hope when I'm 67 I can still move.
Yeah, fuck. Like this.
Uh-oh.
Yeah!
Good strat.
Doing great.
Here we go.
Oh, he'll be all right.
Yeah.
He's fine.
And he's like a knowledgeable,
sparkle-type guy.
He'll be just fine.
Yeah, you hit the second one.
It made it seem like basketball
was going to give him fits.
Get him.
Okay.
Does have a foot on the line.
I'll allow it.
There we go.
Yeah.
Just over two minutes.
Crushing it.
Most expensive porn filmed in 2005.
I know exactly what it is yes i swear to god i do
luke i think tim does too
hitting something over and not uh volleyball table tennis Shapes of... Oh, you're kidding me.
Sides of a boat.
Stern.
Aft.
Starboard.
Port.
Lifts in a big three routine.
I don't know.
Jerk.
Sheldon Cooper.
Purple sports teams, NBA, NFL, MLB.
I don't collect purple hats.
Vikings.
Colorado Rockies.
Two more.
Pride and Prejudice.
I should know that. That's my wife's favorite movie
Green Mile is Stephen King
Let's go
Old Man and
Should know that too right
Shapes of Heels
What the hell is Shapes of Heels
Robin Williams
Two TV shows
featuring the character
Sheldon Cooper. Most expensive porn films.
Nah, I don't know anything about porn.
Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper.
I can't think
of the names right now. You can draw a blank on this.
I didn't get it. Lifts.
Port,
Starboard, Stern, Aft.
AFT-J.
That's stern.
What's the front of the boat?
The pointy part?
Bow.
Yep.
Time.
407.
You're telling me you don't know the Big Bang Theory?
I forgot.
You space out in the show.
Oh, yeah.
I do, yeah.
That wasn't bad.
407, not bad at all. It's better than Jeff D. Lowe. That's all I ask for. Oh, yeah. I do, yeah. That wasn't bad. 407, not bad at all.
It's better than Jeff D. Lowe.
That's all I ask for.
Significantly.
It's a great time.
You didn't get no Robin Williams movies?
They just, you know, you space out when you're sitting.
The pressure.
Yeah, Good Will Hunting.
Yeah.
You did great.
Well done.
You made it seem like basketball was going to take forever.
Yeah, I thought it was.
You did fine.
I mean, my form sucks, but, you know, we can talk about that later. I thought it was. My form sucks, but
we can talk about that later. Off air, maybe.
Give me a pointer or two.
Are you talking to Brandon?
Did you see yesterday?
Big customer. No, I didn't watch that.
Okay, well, fuck you then.
Alright.
Your cornhole was embarrassing. Oh yeah, it was.
Is that the one thing you didn't practice?
That's the one thing I didn't practice.
There it is.
Let that be a lesson for all the kiddos out there.
I didn't practice soccer either, but I thought this would help.
Nice distraction.
A fantastic shirt.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Are we selling those, or is that custom?
We should sell those.
Jake Malasek bucks his dog.
Can I text Pilar?
Yeah.
Let's get that in the store.'s for one day black friday special when's the last time you had on a new untold story when's the last time you guys pitched
shirts to polar since we were in new york i think yeah you need to throw you need to throw a couple
malicek ideas yeah yeah i don't know if we have any merch in the store right now no we got wiped
did we get wiped we have the um until Bitch in there, but everything else is gone.
Okay, that's fine.
That's your best piece.
By far.
We're doing one for each holiday.
All right.
Who in this office do you not trust?
Good question.
Why wouldn't I trust anybody in this office?
No, there's people.
You consume content.
I feel like you know the Barstool landscape better than us.
What do you consider trusting, like letting somebody house sit?
Someone you wouldn't let date your...
My daughter that I don't have.
If you did that.
I have a son, right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Who wouldn't I trust dating my son?
Right.
Yes.
I can't think of anybody.
Oh, come on.
So he can date anybody here?
Absolutely.
Nikki Smokes would give him.
Oh, Nikki Smokes.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I could make you a sexy grandma and grandpa real quick.
Oh.
Very fertile.
No, I already have two kids.
Oh.
Oh.
Damn.
I thought he was going to impregnate you.
No.
My bad.
Sometimes I forget you're a mother
I'm kidding
That was mean I'm sorry
It's okay me too
Every time you go in the grocery store
Yeah
Jesus loves you
Kyle needs a grocery shop for you
Oh I forgot about that
We've been hungry
What other things do we need to
clean up? 12 hour
run to Iran.
Mook slumber party.
Dante's towel whip.
Dante's towel whip, lest we forget.
We should have just, with Big Cat out,
we should have knocked all of them out.
We should just try to
beat his record.
The Gaunt his record?
Keep going.
Just keep going over and over.
Yeah.
Quit when we know we lost the chance.
We should beat his record.
So as soon as you fall behind pace, just bail out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Who feels comfortable giving the try?
I think you should start.
You're the best.
Hey, you're hot.
You're the best shot.
One of you has to go tell Stefan that because he's about to start setting up
for summer games. Oh, I don't want to get the exhale. Oh, the big exhale. That of you has to go tell Stefan that because he's about to start setting up for summer games.
Oh, I don't want to get the exhale.
Oh, the big exhale.
That would be one of the biggest.
Wait, they're doing handball.
Nothing they're doing today requires big setup, does it?
No.
Can I say there's one activity that is...
How can you do a triathlon if you don't have water?
Are we actually doing a triathlon?
I mean, have any of them actually been anything like real sports?
We did archery.
We're going to run another couple of gauntlets.
Throwing a ball.
What was that?
Seven, I'm not kidding.
The man about to snap.
I need that gift.
We've got to run a couple more gauntlets.
What does that mean?
He just asked me if he could set up for it.
I know, but we just decided we're going to do a gauntlet.
Brennan, please stop.
No, bro.
Yeah, let's just do the gauntlet.
We have time.
We got time.
It's not going to interfere with anything.
Right?
It's fine.
It's fine.
It's fine.
What's the –
Stefan, be honest.
What's the setup?
You got to move the nets?
Mostly sports is going to have some issues tomorrow he hates everybody here not me yeah
because you just you you won't confront him i live i'm a coward yeah i see him from time to time
um out in the neighborhood delightful guy yeah delightful guy and it like throws me off like i
see him i'm walking the dog and i see steph and i'm like what's up you stupid fucking piece of shit and then he's just like hi mark how are you
morning whoa and then i feel like a bad person and then you see him here i see him here and then i'm
like i saw him the other day so now i'll be nice to him and then he's he really is crazy he's how
he switches he's professionally miserable yeah he's professionally miserable he's a good dude
good dude outside of the yeah he's not a bad dude here.
No, he's...
He just hates all of us.
Well, he has a high-stress job.
He's flustered.
Tim, do you want to give anyone flowers?
Pay your respects?
Mm-hmm.
Why?
Who died?
No, no, just...
Just, like, someone you want to talk up.
Give them props.
Oh, what is that in there? No, someone at Barstow. Like, jargon or something? Someone you want to talk up. Give them props. Oh, what is that in that?
No, someone at Barstool.
Like jargon or something?
It is.
Flowers.
Flowers.
Who do you want to give credit to?
Is that like rizzing them up?
Yeah, you want to...
More like complimenting.
Like, who deserves some praise?
Who's like an unsung hero?
You're putting me on the spot.
Yeah, but you're a huge consumer of the product.
We don't often get to...
Oh, yeah.
What's something that's come out that's been like,
oh, this is good?
I was expecting this to be dog shit.
Brandon's three-pointer the other day.
There you go.
Absolutely.
It was yesterday.
You previously said you didn't watch it.
Well, Mook's pass was better.
There we go.
It was a good pass.
I texted you last night.
You shoot three-pointers all the time.
How often does he pass?
Every day. Yeah. I pass a lot. How often does he pass? Every day.
Yeah.
I pass a lot.
Well, how often does he actually make the pass?
No, not often.
And I don't shoot.
I haven't shot in months.
I walk in the morning, and I do a lot of heavy lifting.
Heavy lifting.
You have a beautiful stroke, Brandon.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
All right.
Go, Brandon.
Thank you, Mark.
Go do the thing.
So, I'm starting it, and if I fall off pace, I just bail out?
Yeah.
You've got to get the Cornell fast.
Cornell has to be the first one.
But don't worry about Cornell too much.
All right.
All right.
Who's going to go after me if I –
You're going to do a bunch, then we'll decide.
I've got to get to the airport.
Okay.
This seems like it's just a setup for –
No, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Yeah, I'll do it.
All right.
Yeah.
Brandon, try – I'm not doing it again. Why don't we open it. I'll do it. Yeah, I'll do it. Brandon, I'm not doing it again.
Why don't we open up?
It's fine.
We'll find others to do it.
Okay.
We're just going after the record.
We're going after the record.
We're beating just trying to.
Let's be honest.
It has to be either me or Kyle or Titus.
I have a better score than you.
It has to be one of us three, right?
Who are the top five people?
Oh, I had your fucking back.
It has to be one of us fucking three.
You said you were going to the airport.
I do.
I'm in Birkenstocks, too.
We should give Ebo another spin.
His first.
Should give Ebo.
His first go through is pretty good.
Just run that boy.
Che, it was a good time.
Call Greg Olson.
You'll come by, right?
Yeah, wait.
Kyle doesn't have a good time at all.
Yeah, but Kyle's got a good time, isn't he?
Actually, do you have a good time?
No.
No, what is this about?
A better time? Why do we have to say that?
Well, 229's a
good-ass time. Yeah, but it's got an asterisk
next to it. What was the asterisk?
Probably means Jake wasn't here.
Oh. I don't know.
Damn. We don't do a good
job of denoting what our asterisk means.
What do you mean by we? No, they're all down at the bottom.
TJ does. Doesn't he have a
legend at the bottom of the list?
You're going to take a member today? Yeah, absolutely.
He's my son. Alright, well.
See?
Wearing a cape.
Oh, so KB was wearing a cape? That's harder.
Where's my asterisk?
Oh, senior division. Nice.
I thought you were going to start using ages maybe
because there's a few other
older gentlemen.
What should Senior Division be?
60 up?
45 and up.
Is that what the PGA Tour does?
What's PGA Tour?
PGA is 50.
Okay.
I think 55 and up.
55 and up?
That's when the communities start.
55 and up communities.
55 and up.
When can you start getting discounted meals?
I think 55. Yeah, 55. 55 seems early for discounting meals. When can you join AARed meals? I think 55.
Yeah, 55.
55 seems early for discounting meals.
When can you join AARP?
I think that's 55 as well.
Or is that 65?
65.
You should know these things.
It's like, I think I got the invite when I was in my 50s.
I think they just throw them out there randomly.
What's 62?
Social security or something?
I think you can sign up for 60.
50?
50? God damn. 62 you can start If you want to yeah if you're still
Working you don't want to do you have to be an RP to
Be an ARP no no
What's RP retired
Persons right
Retired
Okay Brandon go
I'm sorry hurry No, hurry.
Come on.
Hurry, Brandon, hurry.
Break the record so Stephan isn't so mad.
All right, quit taking a round.
Lock in.
Am I trying or not?
Jake says, am I trying?
Three. Clock is set two wait tj you ready tj's ready so brennan three two one come on oh wow stop stop stop stop stop stop stop, stop. Not so easy, is it? What do you think?
15, 10 seconds?
It has to be first throw.
I think under 10.
This is so short, though.
This is the shortest one.
First three throws.
Give him three.
Reset.
Reset.
All right.
There is going to be people saying this is multiple runs in one day.
Nah, those people are actually wrong.
Let him say whatever they want.
It doesn't matter.
Because he's not doing a full run.
This is an experiment.
Okay.
Who cares?
Three, two, one.
There we go.
Go, go, go.
Go.
I'm going to get this.
Sassy, sassy, sassy.
What?
Had to have that, I think.
I feel like you had to have that.
Yeah, no.
You got to get it on the first try.
Start over.
Shit. Yeah, come back. got to get it on the first try. Start over. Shit.
Yeah, come back.
This ain't going to work.
We got to rotate people in, maybe.
Yeah.
He's not tired, is he?
Yeah.
Yeah, he's a little windy.
What?
I don't remember that run at all.
Yeah, neither do I.
Big Cat's had a lot of runs.
How can you remember?
Well, he eats pretty poorly.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Ready, TJ?
Yep.
All right.
Three, two, one, go.
Oh, no. Yes! Go, Ty. There we go. Second shot,, go. Oh, no.
Go, go, go.
Go, Ty.
There you go.
Second shot.
Good one.
Oh.
No, you can't fall through until you get rid of the balls.
Let's go.
Oh, too much.
Malzak, you could play ball a little bit here.
There it is.
Good shot.
You're at 20.
Oh, no.
I got it on the first. No, slow down.
There it is. Alright, football.
Oh no. Shit.
Yeah, it looks like it counts.
What's happening over there?
Dirty. You should be out.
Okay, okay.
Need it.
Yes, go, go.
He's bringing one.
He's bringing one.
Get in here. Sparkle, go, go! He's bringing one. He's bringing one. Get in!
Get in here!
Marco, Marco, let's go!
10 best Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.
Predator.
Yes.
Terminator.
Mark Cuban.
No, Kevin O'Leary.
Fucking...
Pipe TJ!
Highest grossing coffee chain.
Illinois, California.
Folgers.
No, that's Starbucks.
That's Starbucks.
Coffee chains.
Coffee, cafe chains, Starbucks.
Tiger Woods.
Nicholas.
Berries that don't have the word berry in them.
Hiroshima. Nagasaki.
Fuck!
Investors in Shark Tank.
Uh.
Uh, Entourage.
Entourage!
Entourage!
Entourage!
135.
That's T.
Could have been.
127. All right. Wow. Good effort. That's a Could have been 127 Alright wow
Good effort
That's a good effort
That's good for second place Titus
So close
Was that your
That was your first attempt right?
So Che should be next
He was third right?
Oh so that was just natural
Is Steven going next?
I guess Mook's going
Mook's going?
Mook get permission from Tim please
What? Mr. Wow No Tim Fuck That was fun He's gonna call you Mr. Hitchens Go for it Mook's gone. Mook's gone? Mook, get permission from Tim, please.
What?
Wow.
No, Tim. Fuck.
That was fun.
He's going to call you, Mr. Hitchens.
Go for it.
Do you think...
TJ, are you ready?
What?
Do you think Brandon Walker being out there to authorize some of those
wiffle balls could have shit his mind off?
Yes, absolutely.
He's a very good guy.
Absolutely.
I didn't know.
I thought you should have been clear.
This is a Sporkle game.
It's going to come down to Sporkle.
I hit him.
That's random.
You never know what's going to come up for categories.
But you've got to be strategic with the categories.
You'll find something that TJ can spell, too.
Talk some more shit on your boy.
What else?
What else don't you like about him?
Luke's confident from this crossover.
I need him to be really taken down a peg. I don't... Oh, yeah. Luke's confident from this crossover. I need him to be really
taken down a peg. I don't...
He's being a douche. Yeah, he's being a douchebag.
I'll go.
We know who... Never fear.
Never fear, coworkers.
You're almost at 24
hours.
As soon as you're past 24 hours,
you're probably going to really hurt yourself.
Yeah.
You ready, TJ?
He's wearing NBA socks today, by the way.
How can you tell?
He's got the little logo on him.
Mmm.
You a big diner guy?
New Jersey has some of the best diners in the country.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Diner culture.
I used to be a great brunch and breakfast guy,
but since I'm following TJ's example as far as exercise and diet.
Somebody want to count him down?
Brandon, that's a lot of legs.
Nick?
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
What?
Yeah, these days I don't know.
No.
Not before three or four o'clock.
Yeah.
Are you starving yourself, though?
And he's done.
You feel good?
I feel good.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
You guys set good examples and supported him.
I'd like to get down to the weight he's at.
Got a ways to go, and it's a little tougher when you're old. You actually want to get down that low?
I'd like to get under 200. Yeah. Wow. Okay.
Three, two, one, go.
Oh. Che, get in there. Yeah, it's got to be quiet. I don't want to.
Welcome back Yeah I'm back to being depressed and sad
Why don't you challenge Titus to one on one
You really want my life to end
No no I want you to cross him up
Cross me up
Titus tears his Achilles
For real
Ready TJ
What time is it no not yet
three two one oh slow oh what's he doing
oh go go no no start over do the best that, yeah. That's crazy.
Not a sliver of hope.
Can't plug it like that too soon.
I got followed by an account called Barstool Minions on Instagram.
Me too.
I followed him back.
Some really fucking good shit.
TJ, you set?
Nick? Tim, you set? Yep. Nick?
Tim, you take it.
Che?
Three, two, one, go.
Come on, Che.
Go.
There it is.
Come on.
Come on, Che.
Oh, close.
Oh, how pissed would Big Cat be?
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah, Che would be perfect.
He needs to get this.
Finish.
Oh, where's the balls?
I think you got to keep going.
Yeah, we're quitting too early.
You're quitting too early.
You had plenty of time.
You can always make it back up.
You've got to beat a basketball by like 30 seconds.
Well, you missed
soccer twice
and baseball. I missed all three.
And you still had enough time at Sporkle.
But you did make it with basketballs,
which is huge. I hit my first football
and first basketball. That's massive.
Football was huge. It almost has to be
first football. First football's a must.
Where did I...
Are we done? We giving up?. Where did I? How did I?
Are we done?
We giving up?
Brandon, what happened?
How did I not get that?
There were some typing issues.
There was the wiffle ball and the typing.
You got Terminator, but not Terminator 2.
No, it's Predator.
I think you could have ran the festivals, too, a little more.
The governors.
I was saying something every...
Yeah.
I wasn't...
If we quit...
I'm studying the tape back in my head,
and I don't know how to...
The wiffle ball was the one.
I hit a couple that I thought were dingers,
but I wasn't sure.
I didn't technically go over the...
I think it's that,
and I think one avenue we haven't discussed
is going back and finding holes in Big Cat's routine,
because Malicek probably just laid down for Big Cat. Let's not do that i want to re-watch big cat yeah
same big cat had a lot of reps too it's not like that was his top score that was one of his first
right away was it yeah he also came up with it we're just gonna make him look like more of a god
by trying this and failing i guess you're're right. I guess you're fucking right.
This is selfish and dumb and no one wants to see it,
but I'm just curious to see how much I could do.
Have you ever done it?
No.
I've never done it.
Why don't you just run it for the first time?
I want to just give it a whirl.
I fucked up the cornhole last time.
Look at the sad people being confident today.
I love this.
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I don't think I can go anymore.
You got to wait.
Wait, TJ's not set yet.
I don't see the timer.
That's the absolute fastest I got.
In fact, I might retire.
TJ, you ready?
I might retire from the...
Okay.
Kate?
I'll never do better than that.
Three, two, one, go.
Come on, Kate.
There you go.
Oh, nice. There you go. Oh, nice.
Oh.
Oh.
There it is.
There you go.
Wow.
Oh.
Oh.
Bad pitch.
Yeah.
Well, we're not trying to beat Big Cat's score here, right? Still on pace. Oh. Oh. Bad pitch. Yeah. Well, we're not trying to beat Big Cat's score.
Still on pace.
Oh.
Hey.
The what?
This is crazy.
What?
Yeah.
Works.
Whatever works.
You're at 40.
Yeah, I think the rugby underhand method is the way to go with the football.
I don't know. It's lower. Yeah, maybe. It rugby underhand method is the way to go with the football. I don't know.
It's lower.
Yeah, maybe.
It's cocaine.
The floor, it's levels straight across.
You remember Jeremy Ito?
No.
Yeah.
Rucker's kicker.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, she's got a...
Oh, really good.
There you go.
Oh, yes. Oh, she's got a... Oh! She's doing really well. There you go.
Hell yes, Kate.
Oh, yes.
She's gonna beat my time easily.
She's crossing. Yes, Kate!
Oh, my God.
Awesome, Kate!
Holy shit.
Give her a mic.
You need a mic?
Yeah, you...
Mic, mic.
Hello.
Viola.
Violin.
Three sides of a right triangle. Four is Pokemon. Poison. Fuck. John C. Farrell. John C. Violin. Three sides of a great triangle.
Pokemon.
Poison.
Fuck.
John C. Farrell.
John C. Reilly.
Walk the line.
No, that's fucked.
Richard Mooney.
Not in rest.
What the fuck?
Ridley Scott movies.
Who the fuck's Ridley Scott?
Director.
Oh, Ten Names of the Wife.
Ryan Reynolds.
Blake Lively.
Kutcher.
Ashton Kutcher.
She's the voice on Family Guy.
Will Ferrell movies
oh she's
her daughter is Kate Hudson
Goldie Hawn
Javier Freddy Prince Jr.
fuck
Blake Sheldon
B-A-N-A-N-A-S
what the fuck
John Legend
Chrissy Teigen
Nick Jonas
fuck me I'm too dumb
no you're not
relax
we all go through
three right sides of a right triangle Three right sides of a right triangle.
Name three right triangles.
Obtuse.
Acute.
I'm so dumb.
What the fuck's AFC West?
Oakland Raiders.
Let's go.
Okay, Vegas Raiders.
The lightning bolts.
The Chargers.
Yeah.
The... Coke. Fuck. John Ciro. Oh, oh. The Chargers. Yeah. The.
Coke.
Fuck.
John C.
Oh, oh, Talladega Nights.
Yeah.
Walk hard.
He's still spelling Talladega.
Shit.
Walk hard.
You know another one.
Talladega Nights.
The Ballad.
Isn't Walk Hard one of them?
No.
Oh, Anchorman.
How much more do I have to do?
One more.
One more answer.
Anchorman wasn't one?
Finishing moves for wrestlers, any?
Actor in Bucky Larson, born to be a star?
Oh, I'm so dumb.
No, this is a tough sporkle.
Sides of a right triangle.
Why isn't this working for me? Prestige worldwide. 90 degrees. Fuck, this is a tough Sporkle. Sides of a right triangle. Why isn't this working for me?
Prestige worldwide.
90 degrees.
Fuck, I lost it.
Blake Lively, John Krasinski, Kurt Russell, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis.
Yeah.
There you go.
Am I done?
There you go.
There you go.
Awesome.
Really good run.
Kate, you were a minute 15.
You're in the three minutes.
Yeah, that's awesome.
Fuck.
Wow. Good first run. three minutes. Yeah, that's awesome. Fuck. Wow.
Good first run.
Hell yeah.
Incredible.
Pretty good.
It could have been so much better.
Anchorman 2.
I might be back.
Gwen Stefani.
Gwen Stefani.
Fuck.
Who did I say?
Oh, no, I just don't think you got it.
You said B-A-N-A-N-A-S.
Will Ferrell's not in Walk the Line, or Walk Hard.
Oh, Walk Hard is just John C. Reilly.
Stepbrothers, oh my god.
That is hard once you get to...
It's like obvious shit and your brain doesn't think it.
It's a pretty good time.
Yeah.
It's a great time.
I'll take that time.
I gotta say, I was afraid I couldn't do the bat twist.
The overhand was easy.
Worked well.
Highly recommend.
Oh, the basketball. Look at that. That bat twist. The overhand was easy. Worked well. Highly recommend. Oh, the basketball.
Look at that.
That was awesome.
A lot of girls dream.
Yeah, you did.
Oh, you broke up my consistent.
Back to back.
Back to back.
Well done, Kate.
Well done.
Right on the bristles of your mustache over here.
Wish you could take that back.
I wish I didn't hear that.
What's the earliest date you have up there for the gauntlet?
I mean, how long have you been doing the gauntlet?
Oh, well, since we got here.
I mean, Big Cat's C23.
We're early.
Since you've got here.
We got here in November.
11-2.
I think that was the first Friday we were here were here maybe that might not be true at all i feel like i could run through a brick
wall right now you crush that oh good okay all right um we so tomorrow we have a yak for you
guys we will not be doing the act though so. So what do you all got going this weekend?
You're going to West Virginia.
Yeah.
Are you getting there for – no, you're not getting there for weigh-in because your flight's not until 6 o'clock.
Is that today?
Yeah.
Are you nervous about Ruffin Rowdy at all?
No.
No.
Is this your first Ruffin Rowdy?
Yes.
Microphone.
Dave said – I think Dave officially said today if they don't sell a certain amount, he might
have to pull the plug on the whole thing.
Wow.
He said 20K, right?
Yeah.
Pay-per-views?
20K pay-per-views?
I think that's what he said.
If I'm wrong, I apologize.
So that footage of Betts, A, was real.
Yeah.
Not staged.
B, it was just.
That parking lot.
Oh, I know the backstory now.
He beat the shit out of a dude who stalked
his sister.
Rightful beat up. Warranted, yeah.
Well, that's an exceptionally likable
move right there. Yeah.
It'll suck if he loses his job.
Goes home to his pregnant
wife. Which I feel like he could have
I feel like he could have just done
the fight without adding that stipulation.
I think that stipulation is going to carry a lot of interest.
Yeah, I think.
Yeah, it does help.
Yeah.
I think it's going to help.
I'm not going to be able to watch.
I don't think he needed to do it, but I think it does help.
Yeah.
You put stipulations on stuff to get that extra wrinkle.
Nobody wants to see Mikey Betts lose his job,
but if he gets his ass beat and loses his job, that's...
Extra.
As interesting as fuck.
The rough and rowdy without the Abel brothers
sucks.
Are there any recurring ring girls?
Well, that's not their job. They could come up
and come back and fight. I think it is.
No, it's win or go home.
I thought win or go home just meant
you left the state. You're right.
I think if Betts does
lose, does Frank have to fire him on the
spot because frank has to go on stage in the middle of the ring and fire him he'd be fine with that
frank firing him adds a third element that is and frank will probably like say his name wrong
i do think if pets lost and frank had to fire him jinx could bring him back in a week just in a
little mustache and glasses like the groucho. Some sort of costume and just get him rehired
under Frank Franklin. Never know.
Michael Betts.
Betts would be an all-time
or he's got to be high on the list of free agents for like
those online like pedo hunters.
What?
As like a teammate
of kicking guys ass.
Because that parking lot footage is...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he's right.
He should be high on the list.
He would be great in that, too.
Yeah.
That's a huge compliment, Che.
You'd be really high on the list for pedophile hunters.
As a co-worker.
Welcome, pedophiles.
Nine words.
He wouldn't be a free agent long being picked as a
model like you know how they just find people out at the mall or something you know what you have a
look about you you'd be a real good really good pedo hunter i kind of as a compliment because
you don't look like a pedophile at least yeah we think we could add you to the team and really do
some good work here yeah really go out and clean the streets of these pedophiles and parking lot fighting is probably a prerequisite
of pedophile hunting i would think parking lot hunting kitchen kitchen similar kitchen fighting
yeah yeah if i pedophile hunted i'd get beat up by the pedophiles yeah you'd lose lose the fight
it's never you're never it's never a ripped pedophile. They're never evil either.
They're always just sad.
I know what you mean.
They're sad.
They're sad.
They're not like inspire hate.
You see a whole crowd of them in the mall.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
There should be a group of pedophiles that hunt dudes that just have adult girlfriends.
I would tune in.
Reverse.
Reverse pedophile hunting.
Hey, get back here.
This guy, Greg, he's been married for two years to a woman.
We're going to take this shit bag off his face.
I posed as a 42-year-old woman and talked to him for hours online.
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Today's a historic Chicago anniversary.
Yes.
Chicago, meaning Chicago Yak or Chicago the City?
The City.
What did Miss O'Leary's cow fuck the city up at this point?
Is this one of the nine days a year that Dave Matthews banned bus?
20 years ago today.
Nine days a year.
That's why you came out, Tim.
Dave Matthews dumped his shit in the
river.
Should we get a pair of respects?
It's pretty close there.
800 pounds of human waste. Holy shit.
That's a lot of shit to be carrying around, isn't it?
It's kind of cool that some of that shit
was Dave Matthews'. Hey, I like all the guys well i prefer his didn't they dump plastic ducks
in the river the other day they did like 500 000 like a race i think it's for i've been to one of
those for a good cause but i forget what for you pay ten dollars and get your name on a duck and
if your duck wins you win a bunch of money. Does that river flow, though?
It certainly flows some direction.
It would have to.
It wouldn't be a river if it didn't, right?
Yes.
It would have to.
It flows, yes.
Definitively.
Don't push back on this one.
I don't know what river you're talking about.
Okay, Titus.
He's a life saver it flows backwards though and i've never seen it
like no matter how much it rains maybe it flows from the lake is what you're saying it used to
flow into the lake and then the army corps engineers did some fenutilin and they made it
flow backwards towards st louis and st louis was like don't all your shit's gonna come to us but
we blew up a dam in the middle of the night one night. And we're like, sorry, too late.
It's coming your way.
And that's.
We sent all the shit.
Yeah.
That Army Corps of Engineers.
They do some fucking work.
They do.
But I'm saying it's so controlled that I feel like it doesn't really flow.
That it's just kind of stagnant.
Yeah.
Does the river have a name?
The Chicago River.
The Chicago River.
Yeah.
Yeah. Not a lot of thought went into that I never knew
I never knew the Chicago
Growing up I never knew
Chicago had a river going right through the middle of it
It wasn't a defining feature to me
As an outsider
I don't think you'd know
I was never taught that
What's that movie?
Richard Kimball The River, he's running along never really taught that. What's that movie? He's got Richard Kimball.
The Fugitive.
The river.
He's running along the river at St. Patrick's Day.
I've never seen the movie.
The movie came out 30.
Is it good?
Excellent movie.
Oh, man.
So good.
Maybe I'll watch it on my flight.
It's an excellent movie.
I watched Pretty Woman last night.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
Also excellent movie.
Fantastic.
Fugitive a little bit better than Pretty Woman, though.
The Future was a TV show before it was a movie.
She was perfect.
Mystic Pizza?
Notting Hill is my favorite.
Pretty Woman, I think, is my favorite Roberts.
Do you think that had to have inspired some women to go to L.A. to become prostitutes?
I would think so.
It looked chill.
That's Pretty Woman's plot?
It's like she's a prostitute in L.A.
And a billionaire picks her up.
And she becomes the
billionaire's wife oh man yeah yeah which doesn't seem that realistic she doesn't kiss on the mouth
she'll do anything else but she's not that's too personal and it's just classic so that movie had
a happy ending oh certainly did multiple certainly did. But the problem with that movie is you see Jason Alexander be a bad guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pervert.
That's disconcerting because Jason Alexander's never been a bad guy in anything.
He's the boy, yeah.
Yeah, watching him do what he does in that movie is startling.
I had to palate cleanse watching him in that McDonald's commercial.
Which one is that?
Oh, yeah.
The one where they separated the bun and meat so it would stay cool and hot.
Well, that's what he tries to do.
Separate the buns.
Wow.
Poetic.
I miss the Michael Jordan, Larry Bird McDonald's commercials.
They're playing horse?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Over the river.
You still watch them.
I guess I can.
I don't have to miss them.
You can miss them, yeah.
Just go to YouTube probably.
How nerdy is that going back and watching commercials on youtube because i do it a lot you gotta be if
you're high i accept it but you get high and watch commercials do you do it from time to time or do
you consider it a hobby i think when other people get high they just reach the state that i'm in
constantly of nostalgia you know what i'm in that state of all state all the time you're always high
i'm always nostalgic i will always watch like 1980s saturday morning cartoon commercials i of nostalgia. You know what I just... I'm in that state all the time. You think you're always high?
I'm always nostalgic.
I will always watch like 1980s
Saturday morning
cartoon commercials.
I just started watching
Pee Wee's Playhouse.
Yeah.
In full.
That show's awesome.
Yeah.
Sneaky Lawrence Fishburne.
It rules.
Cowboy Curtis.
Cowboy Curtis
and his lasso.
But it's so fucking weird.
I think Cherry died.
Probably.
Cherry died?
Yeah.
Reupholstered and then.
Do you think the genie would fly today?
Jambi?
No.
Mecca-lecca-hi-mecca-hi-neho?
I don't think so.
I don't think a lot of things would fly.
Yeah, I guess not.
Hell, Princess Diaries made a bulimia joke.
That wouldn't fly under Disney's nose.
You're right.
I've never watched Princess Diaries.
Anne Hathaway's A Timeless Beauty.
What was the name of the country?
Genovia.
That's a crossword clue every once in a while.
Yeah.
Do you think exclusively in crossword clues at this point?
It's Kyle's fault.
I think you were both about the same time, right?
Did you get him in a crossword?
Yeah, we were simultaneous.
Well, the more you do them, the better you get it.
Yeah, it's like anything. As you said, they repeat a lot of clues. I, the more you do them, the better you get it. Yeah, it's like anything.
As you said, they repeat a lot.
I do them with you sometimes.
I think you would love to be addicted to them like I am.
I would love to be addicted to them.
I think I do two hours of crosswords a day.
Easily two.
Go back in the archives, waste an hour.
The Anus Studio has to be the most crossword-centered place in America.
Yeah.
They got me addicted.
Now I'm bodying minis.
Out here getting a minute 50 with a check.
You mean mini crosswords, not dwarven women.
I'm still working on my perfect week on crosswords.
I can do Sunday, Thursday, sometimes Friday.
Can't do a perfect week.
Can't get Saturday.
Because Saturday's tough.
So Saturday, I figured it out.
Saturday is easier than Friday, Thursday.
You just have to think for a while because they're gettable.
They're not like proper nouns or like French words or people's painters' names.
Is it always the same person coming up with the crossword?
No, they're a team.
But yeah, he's one of them.
And then Shorts is a gay man that's dying, but he was the longtime editor, a legend in the game.
Are y'all still doing Connections?
Yeah, but I'm on Circuits now, too.
What's Circuits?
Circuits is fun.
Circuits is its own website.
TJ, you can pull it up.
Yeah, let's play Circuits.
Let's have Titus do Circuits.
You guys are always on the cutting edge of games.
I love word games.
That helps your vocabulary.
Yes, yeah, for sure.
Let's play Circuits.
All right, just go to play.
And now you have to connect them all.
So mutual blank and blank fund.
Powdered and blood sugar.
Oh, Brandon gets sugar.
Great.
Trust.
Yeah.
So just hit submit where Brandon got it.
Where do you see mutual trust and trust fund?
Be free and...
Sugar free and gluten free, yeah.
What is that?
Sugar free.
Foliage?
Fall.
Fall. Trust fall and... Trust. Or what is that? Follage? Fall Trust fall and fall foliage Free fall
Free speech
Acceptance
Look at that guys
We got it
Let's do another one
Wait
These one a day motherfuckers
The really tough one
It's really really hard That's the one a day? What was the one? These one a day motherfuckers. The really tough one. Oh.
It's really, really hard.
That's almost too hard.
That's the one where I gave up at the directions.
Yeah.
Do circuits get harder than that?
Yeah, throughout the week, I believe.
There's been some really tricky ones where I had to use some bolts.
Because connection will get tricky on you.
What's a bolt?
Bolt gives you a letter of one of the things you're missing.
Oh, so it's cheating.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, it's in the game. It's still cheating.
It's not cheating. It's a
helpful power-up.
Is getting the fireball in Mario
cheating? Do they have any power-ups
in crosswords?
This isn't a crossword.
It's still another game. Why are you being a gatekeeper
for circuits?
I just don't like little aides.
You should be able to talk to little aides. Neither, man. I get don't like little AIDS. You should be able to tell me. Little AIDS?
It's either, man.
I can't hold Walker to explain.
Brother, we're all anti here.
Little AIDS.
Walker told me I have AIDS.
Little AIDS.
Little AIDS.
Big AIDS.
Babe, it's just a little.
Chill, babe.
Shit. little chill babe uh shit uh what what is uh what's your plan is tj taking you out to dinner tonight he hasn't taken us out to dinner he's not paying i thought he took you out he hasn't paid
yet he's he'll pay tonight it's his town we're going to a place called uh trivoli trivoli tavern
trivoli yeah so we're going there we went someplace last night we're going to a place called Trivoli. Trivoli Tavern. Trivoli, yeah. So we're going there.
We went someplace last night.
We're going to the White Sox-Cubs game.
He did get tickets for that.
Do you consider you taking him because you're paying?
Game time tickets.
Wait a minute.
Through game time, you say?
Yes, absolutely.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Where is he getting them?
From game time.
And you can, too.
Did you already do this?
I didn't do game time.
And you can, too.
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Game would have been more fun if the White Sox hadn't won already.
I know.
I know.
That fireworks show, a shame.
I think I'm going to the Brewers game tomorrow night,
thanks to game time, in Milwaukee.
If you're up in that area, go kiss Brandon in front of his family.
Yeah, I will have the entire crew there.
Who are they playing?
The Reds.
Cincinnati Reds.
I like the Reds.
I went to a Brewers game earlier this year on a Friday night, and they also? The Reds. Cincinnati Reds. I like the Reds. I went to a Brewers game earlier this year on a Friday night,
and they also played the Reds.
That's a little disappointing, but you know what?
That's the way the schedule fell.
Ellie De La Cruz is my favorite player to watch in baseball.
He hit a triple that night.
It was unbelievable to watch.
I don't think I've ever seen a triple.
I saw Dion triple in 92 in person.
No kidding.
It was stunning. now how do you now
you hate him i don't hate him i just tell the truth about him i tell the truth about his guts
i don't hate his guts i have a deon sanders signed jersey in my main cave you got his autobiography
too you you gave it to me as a gift yes you have it now i don't think that's his autobiography
that's his motivational self-help book okay his autobiography is another book
entirely okay it sits along with uh who gives a fuck about your career or whatever the fuck that
shit was called uh i don't know i didn't read it neither anybody else um you take down rasslin
once you have an enemy forever for fucking life because it was a bullshit ass decision
listen it was struggling for views.
We have to spend production on other shows.
When's that new interview coming out that you were talking
about the other day? Good question. Did I hit you too
hard? I'm sorry.
I'll get you back later. Thank you.
It's coming out soon.
We're banking a couple. Soon is not...
We're banking a couple and then we're going to roll
them out. I don't want to do two
and then not have one for a week.
No.
I want to be able to just roll them out, bang, bang, bang.
Keep the momentum.
Seth's off TV, huh?
Seth's off TV.
He's a little banged up.
Yeah, that's fine.
He's well-deserved.
Yeah.
I mean, he's been the MVP for a while.
He just goes out there and puts everybody over.
It's great.
Of course, you know, Becky's been off TV for a while.
She's retired, it seemed.
I'm sniffing a little on that one but uh yeah i live and dom just looks that's awesome look cute as hell again i've never
seen a heel turn heel er yeah cool a double heel turn he's already healed he turns heel yeah yeah
that was good live morgan she was here with us y'all all met her oh no I saw the clip yeah yeah I like her she's doing good
alright
you going boating this weekend
almost got
your goose no spoilers
I can answer that question
tomorrow afternoon that's right
I think that show will be about an hour and a half
two hours we had a good time
hour what hour 48 We had a good time. Hour 48. Hour what?
Hour 48.
Yeah.
We had a good time.
I would say the boat part, we got right to it, right?
I mean, we got right to it like 15, 20 minutes in.
We weren't pussyfooting around.
Yeah.
No, we had a goal in mind, and we got right to it.
And no spoilers.
There's a pedophile.
Kind of.
What?
Oh.
Perhaps.
Oh, Brandon, you missed that part.
Oh, I didn't?
Yeah.
I missed it.
Was I out on the boat?
We invited a pedophile to your home.
Okay.
Sorry.
No spoilers.
It's the opposite of that show.
We bring pedophiles in to cause chaos that was uh and and this this isn't i don't this is not giving anything away but that
that night you guys came i live in the quietest safest neighborhood ever and there was just a
police incident in the neighborhood that's what we're talking about. Yeah, that's what we're talking about. Okay, yeah. They were lugging out some heavy hard drives.
Yeah.
There was so much on there, it added weight.
Yeah.
The press showed up.
The press?
Did you find out what that was?
I did, yeah.
Oh.
There were two groups of young people that had gotten into fisticuffs,
and one of them pulled a gun and started shooting.
What? In your neighborhood? It's not really my neighborhood it's the next neighborhood down
but uh but but yeah so they were going to get in the person that that had the shooting started
like shooting at them i i don't nobody got killed or i don't even know if they got hit
but there was some shooting happening.
I think it was like 18, 20-year-olds, and they were just popping off.
That's who shoots guns, teens.
Yeah, they do.
It's terrifying.
A lot of people shoot guns, though.
Yeah, but like 16-year-olds are always the ones.
They indiscriminately shoot guns.
Yeah, yeah.
I very discriminately shoot guns.
Yeah?
Very discriminately.
When's the last time you shot a gun?
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
I really did.
Probably Mississippi, to be honest.
I didn't shoot this weekend.
I didn't in Jersey.
Are you?
Yeah.
You can't shoot anything in Jersey.
Can't shoot anything.
Can't shoot a goddamn thing in Jersey.
You can't do anything in Jersey, by the way.
Jersey was...
They had gun rights. I didn't like living in... I used to go to the gun
rights. I didn't like living in Jersey. It's fun.
I know. I'm always disappointed
about that. I know, but this... I just feel bad that you
were so miserable in Jersey for so long.
First day to have legalized sports gambling.
Yeah. Alright. There you go.
Your area's probably great. My area
was too hoity-toity.
I didn't belong there is what I'm saying.
It just wasn't.
Hoity-toity, meaning people weren't getting taken down for gun charges two blocks down?
No, they were.
Oh.
They were.
I don't know.
It was very.
You weren't friends with your neighbors.
I wasn't friends with my neighbors.
For four years.
It felt like I didn't have a friend in that neighborhood for four years.
It felt like a closed society.
How does that happen?
You were barbecuing all the time.
I know.
That should bring people to you.
I never said this.
Y'all over on the coast are clicky.
I never said this, but the first month we were there,
the neighbors called the cops on us because we had puppies outside.
What?
What?
My dog Maggie.
Remember, RIP Maggie.
She had puppies, and I let her outside and
she was
out there and she
went into labor under the steps so you know
you just kind of let it happen
and then you
take care of it later and
they called they said
it was cruel and unusual to have a dog
and that's it stayed
I don't know but the cops came and they looked and they said well that dog in that state. I don't know. But the cops came, and they looked, and they said, well, that dog's fine.
I said, yeah, the dog's fine.
But the neighbors were calling cops on us.
Did we talk about that?
We never did.
Because she died shortly thereafter, and that became the story.
The neighbor?
No, the dog.
Oh.
The dog.
She had complications?
Yeah, she got a motherly disease and died.
Eclampsia is what they call it.
Drats.
Yeah, but y'all knew all this.
We talked about that.
That wasn't a surprise.
I don't know if I was on the show full time when that happened.
Were you not?
I don't think.
Huh.
I never knew that dogs got eclampsia.
Well, I think they're the only people that get it, right?
Do people get it?
Yes.
Do they?
Big time.
I thought that was a dog disease. Pregnant ladies. Yeah, it takes yeah it takes them out oh i didn't know that i didn't know that at all
preeclampsia is what you yeah there's a like both i can't come down pretty well yeah i don't know
wow what was what was that word i have a side note i stopped at that country store by your house
on the way up there you like it have you had that twin bing candy no is it good it fuck what is twin bing
i didn't know until i tried it's like these it's like snowballs but teeny tiny and chocolate
all different flavors two different crosbys nick how you doing on time really good i'm getting
nervous my gates changed twice oh that's not good well no flight flies on time anymore
wait so you're
how far of a drive is it from Pittsburgh
hour? hour 10 hour 20
oh I've never seen that candy in my life
they sell them at your country store
I ate four of them in the car before I got to your house
alright big girl
I'm sorry
well you had all that pizza
And I had a tummy ache by the time I got there
I felt bad
It doesn't look like it'd be good
So did you have four
Bings or two twin bings
Two bags of bings
So four balls
I redact my statement
That's edited
That's super pink
I had the s'mores bing my statement. But yeah, no, they're really good. That's edited. Nothing's that pink.
That's the pinkest thing ever.
Nothing's that pink. I had the s'mores bing and the...
Was it that pink?
It was pretty pink.
Oh, shit.
All right, Brandon, bring some bing.
Yeah, look, look, there's a picture.
Look how pink that is.
Yeah, I would love some bings.
Holy shit.
Yeah, they are for real good.
And you said it's at the Old Mill Country Store there?
Yep, it's like a no-bake cookie filled with delicious...
Oh, my God.
Is it rich?
It looks thick.
Oh, yeah.
I had big time tummy ache when I rolled up.
Well, it looks like a ton of sugar.
I sat in my hot car eating them.
I mean, it does kind of look like a London broil.
Does it?
A little bit.
Oh, with the steak on the end?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A little bit.
It might be your London broil.
Oh, Che, that reminds me.
What's an Idaho spud?
Steaks.
Well, yeah, what's an Idaho spud? That store probably has them. All right, Che, you reminds me. What's an Idaho spud? Steaks. Well, yeah, what's an Idaho spud?
That store probably has them.
All right, Che, you've been tweeting the pictures, and I've been meaning to ask, but how's the grill going?
I think it's going pretty good.
It is much easier than I would have thought.
That's bad.
Did you give us pictures of your steak last night?
I never saw the actual pictures.
Steak was two nights ago.
Yes, I did do pictures, and then last night I did burgers.
I think it went well someone said that if your propane grill is smoking a lot that's bad there
was a lot of smoke well it's also a new grill i think new girls are gonna smoke a lot more than
uh okay yeah toasting the buns fucking good oh yeah hell yeah Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. Sheesh. That's bread, brother.
Barbecue Twitter, how'd I do?
No way.
That's toasted bread, man.
That doesn't deserve a cap.
A cap?
Grill Mars.
Those are good.
Say, that's toasted bread, man.
Those are nice grits.
Better believe it.
The kids still got it.
Butt cheeks? Is that why you said sheesh?
Literally the bread.
How did I do to rate my burger?
Made toast.
Sheesh.
Yeah, it's a remarkably clean looking grill.
I know it's new, but it looks...
It's got a cure, just like a frying pan.
I picked that one because you can put the grates in the dishwasher which is kind of oh cool are the is
this okay that's a steak well i'm just going to tell you the inside of the steak looks good the
outside does not why is that needs to be you need to get more of a char on it but i'm not i'm doing
what steak twitter does i apologize fair first grilling. I think it went okay.
We got some sweet potatoes, but the moneymaker is steaks.
Let's give these a little cut.
See how it does.
We're going for medium, medium rare.
Look at the concentration.
Look at the concentration.
Gas! Concentration. Uh-huh. Yeah!
Dang it!
Mother fucker.
You son of a bitch.
I didn't know that was coming.
No, I didn't know.
Fucking clue.
Fuck.
I love Che.
He's the funniest person on the planet yeah chay did you develop have you
developed like a neighborhood reputation yet no not really my name my block is a lot of like
older people no have you waved at anyone with the spatula in your hand no not yet you're not
grilling till you do that yeah i also don't have a metal spatula i just ordered one so i was using
plastic last night which was a little dicey.
So what are the skills
to be an elite steak cooker?
Flipping?
Leaving on?
Just, no.
Those are two big ones, though.
They are big ones.
Give me more steps
that you would need to...
It's knowing what...
Assign four necessary skills
to be an elite steak cooker.
Knowing your temperature.
Okay.
Knowing the length of time.
Knowing the quality or cut of meat you want.
And knowing how to cook that individual cut of meat.
Because you cook a ribeye different than you cook a porterhouse.
You cook a porterhouse different than you cook a filet.
Jay, I assume you just, those were filets or those were sirloins?
What were those? Those were sirloins what were those
um those were uh sirloins
yeah but you weren't good at first
right I don't even know if I'm good
now I'm good for what I like to taste
what's your favorite cut of meat
I'm a ribeye guy yeah is beef grilling
no
oh cool
I'll do a strip but I like
sorry no no
beef's going to Burger King I'll do a strip, but I like ribbons. Sorry. No, no.
Beef's going to Burger King.
It was the 50th anniversary of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, right?
He's in New York City right now.
For that?
They're doing the MoMA.
It's doing like a special showing with all the old writers and blah, blah, blah.
That makes me happy.
Does he really go to Burger King?
He fucking loves Burger King. I do, too.
He goes late at night.
I think the Rodeo Burger is better than any other fast food burger.
He's a fan.
He's a late night.
Because they're also one of the only ones that are open 24 hours now around here.
Yeah.
They got the best dessert and fast food.
The pie.
The pie.
Or the Sunday pie.
Easy.
Chicken fries are amazing.
Yeah.
Who was telling me they have a wrap that's putting the McDonald's
snack wrap to shame right now?
Oh, I don't know. Apparently it's fantastic.
I haven't been to Burger King in a minute.
I used to like it,
but I just haven't done Burger King
in a while.
I'm a Wendy's burger guy when I could.
My favorite fast food burger is the Hardee's Frisco Burger.
Whoa.
Were you in Carl's Jr. territory down there? I'm Hardee's Frisco Burger. Hardee's is great. Were you in Carl's Jr. territory down there?
I'm Hardee's.
It's all Hardee's to me.
I think, is Carl's Jr. out west or is that, what's the difference?
I think south is all Hardee's.
I've never been to a Carl's Jr.
I haven't either.
But I think I saw a Carl's Jr. when we were in L.A. for the Super Bowl.
What's the Checkers Rallies cut?
Checkers in my hometown.
Checkers in the South.
I've never seen a rallies.
Where are there rallies?
I thought rallies here.
Combined.
Checkers slash rallies.
Maybe they are.
Funny little thing.
I moved out of my hometown.
We never had anything.
We had a Sonic, a Wendy's, a McDonald's, and a Subway.
And now we have Taco Bell, and a Captain D's, and a Checkers, and wendy's and mcdonald's on the subway and now we have taco bell and a
captain d's and a and a checkers and uh and a jack's jack's is the new hotness down there i
don't know the jacks it's just burgers okay just burgers you you made a face at captain d's too
it's it's all right i'm a uh cookout guy whenever availableouts. That's one where you can eat like a king with ten bucks.
It's fucking awesome.
It's also an elite late night place.
They have no genre at cookout.
There's no genre of food.
Are you okay with that? I don't know. It feels weird
at first, but then you realize that is
the genre. It's a wild card place.
You can get a quesadilla. Will you make a medley?
I will.
Their menu that you look at outside is just hilarious to look at because of how many things they cram onto it.
Yeah.
I've never been.
The typing is like this big because they get everything onto it.
A cookout.
That's fucking hilarious.
Are they nationwide?
That was bad money.
Fuck you.
You got me rolling, brother.
That's a crazy
minute.
That's smart because if I'm drunk, I'm getting
everything.
What you're looking for is the tray menu up top.
Look at all the ice cream.
A lot of ice cream.
Anybody here a steak and shake fella?
No.
No, huh?
Yes!
I stop at Steak and Shake in Gurney all the time.
What is it, Frisco?
They have, I think they have a sourdough.
I've only been delivering bad news in Steak and Shakes.
Found out my grandpa was sick in one.
Oh, fuck.
Anything else?
What else?
Firing somebody in my family.
Somebody in my family was, I was eating Steak and Shake when I found out one of my family members was on cops on the other end.
Oh, my God.
Wait, so did your mom and dad just take you to Steak and Shake?
I think Steak and Shake was the bad news.
I just don't like Steak and Shake, man.
We went to Steak and Shake on our first rediscovering when I found out we'd have to do more of them.
Did you guys have Nifty 50s?
Never heard of it.
It's just a Northeast thing.
That was if you did something really good or really special
and got a good report card, you got to go to Nifty 50s.
You got to go to Nifty 50s, get a milkshake.
What was it like? A 50s diner?
Like going back to the 50s, basically.
I'm going to my favorite restaurant, Michael's Beef House,
when I get back to Wheeling.
I've never heard of that.
It's in Center Market, next to Coleman's.
Are people going there? It's my favorite restaurant.
What's a beef house? It's got the driest,
saltiest roast beef you could ever taste.
I feel like people sleep on roast beef.
It's comfy.
I swear, I still can't figure out. Brandon does.
I can't figure out. does I can't figure out
his blanket
god damn
this is comfy
oh man
honey
pass me
this is one of the
comfier beats you've made
I love you dude yeah I know honey. Pass me. This is one of the comfier beats you've made.
I love you, dude.
Yeah, I know.
I knew when I took that mini shot at you
like 20 minutes ago
it was going to come back.
Do you see how excited
I was for you to hit that button?
No, you were pure joy
in your voice.
Yeah.
He's out.
Where are you going?
He's out.
He's over the shit.
TJ, I guess we can go ahead and spin the wheel.
Can I point something out?
By all means.
Remember when they got all huffy because we were doing the gauntlet
and they had to set up?
Because they haven't set anything up.
I think it's out of protest.
I think they did set it up.
I think it took two seconds.
They moved the bottle.
Yeah, it's all ready for the I think they did set it up. I think it took two seconds. That's all it was. They moved the bottle. It was...
Yeah, it's all ready for the triathlon.
They moved the net over...
They moved the net over 10 feet.
That's all it was.
All right, TJ.
I guess we can spin the wheel.
I knew it.
Spin that.
Oh, yeah.
Here.
There you go.
High Noon.
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High Noon sun's up.
Give me some Prickly Pear.
Maybe a spoiler for
Monday or something if we're going to get
out of here, but I just got a DM from
an account I've never seen before in my life. They have
171 followers and they asked
me a question and they say, can I tell you a
Che story that happened a few months ago
involving a flat tire on a
bike? Che? Che.
Say yes. I said yes already. let's wait prison um let's see
it's at well i shouldn't give them away uh yeah don't don't yeah but it's just it's a dude
all right and he has 171 followers and it literally said can i at 142 can i tell you
a chase story that happened a few
months ago involving a flat tire on a bike and that doesn't ring a bell to you at all do you
have a bike i have an idea but it's not really a story have you encountered any flat flat tires
that's probably it then if you have an idea that might be it that's probably it it's not even a
story worth telling i was riding a bike and some person that saw me said,
hey, I think your tire's flat.
And I said, nope, it's not.
And I just kept going.
That's pretty funny.
Well, there's two sides to every story, guys.
No matter how flat you make a pancake, brother.
That's the only thing it could have been.
That's probably it.
It's got to be that.
It does sound exactly like this situation.
Let's wait this one out.
Let's ride out this storm.
I would hope it's a better story than that.
That story sucks.
That has to be it, Jay.
I hope that guy says the same thing.
I actually think I have some thought-provoking questions on the other today.
Okay, go ahead.
How long does it take you to fall asleep?
I don't know.
Paul Che put out shows 40% of people are 11 to 30 minutes.
25 are 1 to 10.
19% are 31 to 60 minutes.
16% are over an hour.
I'm jealous of the 1 to 10 people. 1 to 10.
Are some people categorically in one of those things every night?
I'm a half hour to an hour.
I think I'm half hour.
And sometimes over.
I don't.
That's not falling asleep.
That's just doing something else in bed.
Do y'all turn everything off and then just try to fade away?
I just, when it's time for me to go to bed, I turn the TV on to something I've seen a lot
and just lay there and watch it until I fall asleep.
I read with a book light and all my other lights are red light bulbs and then my eyes get very
heavy. Does that help? Oh my god, yes.
I didn't know that.
I like to lay down, pull up the covers
and then go, the baby's going to wake up any minute now.
And then I just repeat that.
Kate thinks of every mistake she's ever made.
And then I think about the guy who fell getting on the bus
and then I think about the bar sign.
That band
works really hard.
He's the father of four with the lead singer.
Alright, he's seen it.
If you guys,
if you're in the Chicago area, send Kate some pills.
Yeah.
I should be on edibles probably.
Would help.
Are y'all ready for the story?
Oh boy.
This is from CB.
I was doing some work in my front yard a month or two ago,
and somebody rode by on a bike with their kid on the back.
Didn't think anything of it and gave a neighborly wave.
On the way back, he was riding very slow,
and his tire was completely flat.
I said to him, hey, your tire is flat.
I can help you out if you'd like and he just
said it's not flat but he was clearly struggling riding and it was dead flat i believe him
i didn't realize it was che until he rode off he can't deny the fact that was slowing him down and
in fact dead flat it was so dead it was so flat i and, in fact, dead flat. It was so flat.
I can picture it.
Me too.
I've seen that before.
I've seen one of those.
Too proud?
So flat.
A detail that he did not include was that, or maybe glossed over, was that it was a bike trailer.
So my son was, like, in a trailer.
So that's why it was.
I can't ride fast in that.
But he said he saw you riding one direction and you were fine.
No.
He said on the return, your tire was flat and you were struggling.
No, the tire was the same consistency the entire trip.
All right, Che.
Well, after that trip and subsequent days, did you ever fix that tire?
I did.
I did.
Wait, wait, wait.
Okay.
Why did you fix it if it wasn't flat?
I wouldn't say fix it, but yeah, I inflated it a little bit.
It was so flat.
It was so fucking flat.
He didn't fix it.
He inflated it.
It absolutely could have used air.
Was it totally flat?
No.
Oh, no.
Dead flat.
We were like half a mile from home.
I had my son in the trailer behind me.
It was very hot.
I wasn't trying to wait for some dude to help me fill up a bike.
No, I'm just going to fucking go home and do it.
Great story, man.
It was a pretty good story.
That's good.
That's good.
That was well worth it.
I really like that.
I don't think you made a friend.
Whose side are we taking?
Oh, I'm taking this guy's.
Yes.
Dead flat.
Think about this guy.
He was doing work in his front yard.
So he's busy working in his house.
He sees somebody come by, gives away.
Obviously struggling.
He sees another dad struggling.
He has empathy.
He says, hey, man, I want to help you out.
Your tire's flat.
And the guy just flat out denies it.
It's not flat.
Oh.
I thanked him for the story
and he says, you're welcome. I was just trying
to help him.
Jay, did he offer to help you?
Uh.
I guess so.
I don't recall everyone in the interaction, but he said, hey man,
I think your tire's flat. He's like, do you need a pump
or something? And I was like, I'm good.
That's offering to help.
And then you went home and pumped it.
Yeah.
It's like a 90-degree day.
And with my kid in the back, we got cookies from the bakery.
Like, no, I'm trying to go home.
But at first, you were like, it wasn't flat.
That was a lie.
Now it was.
It was probably 60% inflated.
It was flat, Che.
Just saying.
It was dead flat.
The truth will set you free, Che.
It was flat. He said the. It was flat, Che. Just saying. That's fine. The truth will set you free, Che. Dead flat.
He said the word dead flat.
Surely not.
I biked home another half mile.
Slowly?
Struggling?
That was a speed.
Che.
Oh, I love Stephen Che, dude.
He tweeted bread.
Sheesh. Sheesh.
Sheesh the bread.
Sheesh the bread.
Capital Sheesh.
What would warrant a capital
Sheesh? Three exclamation points.
Like a 360
flip over an active volcano. Volcano.
It's a funny picture.
We got some leg in it too. It's a funny angle.
It's a real funny angle.
The bottom one's so big.
Woo!
Steven, you've done it again.
Thank you, thank you.
All right, Tim. We'll spin the wheel.
Let's go do some summer games.
Tim, would you be down to get wet?
Of course.
All right, all right.
It is dad week, right?
It's wet dad week.
Alas, dad got wet.
All right.
Alas.
Good try.
All right, so watch tomorrow.
You'll see the Yak from my house.
And then otherwise, and please watch this today.
And watch Ruff and Rowdy by R&R.com.
Ruff and Rowdy tomorrow night.
Mikey Betts fighting for his job against one of the Able brothers.
And we've got summer games coming up.
So that's the act.
We'll see you tomorrow, technically. It's the act It's your straws, yeah
Style of tape for a while
It's the act
It's the act
It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
Or do a Yankee swap
It's the act
It's the act Hey, don't touch that dial.
Quick picks, summer games, mostly sports, Dynasty League.
Pre-recorded episode tomorrow.
It's a fun one.
Bye, Ruff and Rowdy.
We'll see you Monday.
Say bye, Mom.
Bye.