The Yak - Steven Almost Received the Opportunity of a Lifetime | The Yak 8-27-24
Episode Date: August 27, 2024Jerry O'Connell drops in and steals Brandon's spotlightYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit ...barstool.link/barstoolyak
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Welcome Jerry O'Connell.
Hey, good to have you. Thanks. Jerry O'Connell has Welcome Jerry O'Connell. Thanks.
Jerry O'Connell has been on this show before.
Sure.
When I can't remember who started the rumor that he was getting a divorce, but I called
him live on the show to clear that up.
Right.
Yeah.
Roan.
Roan did.
That's right.
Roan did.
Who's not hearing.
It was not true.
It was.
I mean, at least still married, still married.
We fought this morning. But yeah, I think we're together.
Yeah, that sounds like a resounding yes.
There was a slight argument, but we'll work through it.
Was it about breakfast?
No, it's about, I'm going to be joining one of Big Cat's fantasy leagues with celebrities,
and the buy-in is just more money than I'm allotted by my family.
And so it was an argument.
There might be a negotiation.
Yeah.
I like how Brandon went straight to food.
Yeah.
It's food. Are most of your fights with your wife about breakfast?
You eat breakfast in the morning. He said the fight was in the morning.
Brandon, do you ever get fulfilling
wins over your wife anymore?
No. I don't even try. Do you try?
I don't try. Have you ever owned her successfully
even if it didn't come with fulfillment?
Not to my knowledge.
No. That doesn't happen.
Even when there's an opportunity to do it,
I stop. I don't want to win. You when there's an opportunity to do it, I stop.
I don't want to win.
You bite your tongue on a told you so?
I got a sorry yesterday.
Whoa.
That would feel bad.
You're lying.
That's better than a sorry.
She knocked over my iced coffee.
Wow.
The initial reaction was to say, why would you put that there?
Listen, sorry is a sorry.
Okay.
Wow.
Yeah, that felt good.
I kind of passeded the sorry there.
Yeah, I call it getting the moral high ground.
I don't even want to win.
I just want the moral high ground.
For a second.
I like the high ground.
Looking down.
By the way, I have an update on my kids calling me big guy.
Oh, yeah.
Someone pointed out, apparently, that's what the kids at Bluey called their dad.
So I'm good.
Oh, yeah.
The kids at Bluey?
No, kids in Bluey.
Bluey and Bandit.
The kids in Bluey are dogs.
Dogs.
Bluey and Bandit.
Both girls.
So they treat you like a cartoon dog dad.
Correct.
They don't understand the connotation of big guy.
No, they don't.
They just saw it.
They mimicked what they saw. And that dad is the man yes yes he's the boss of dads right he's
the coolest dad ever right so i'm good with big guy and my kids were calling me big guy this this
past week jerry and it hurt me a little why did it hurt you because big guy usually is not something
like that's usually reserved to like uh a homeless person outside of 7-Eleven trying to get my attention.
What's up, big guy?
Like, hey, big guy.
Can you hit me on the way out?
That's, you know.
Or it's a variant of big boy.
Yeah, it's never used in a good way.
It's usually condescending, yeah.
Always.
I've never gotten big guy in the bedroom.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Big guy hurts. big guy hurts big guy hurts jerry is so committed to pmt and being
our fantasy expert he took a red eye last night oh yeah he landed at six in the morning went to
planet fitness and then came in and he's flying back at three o'clock today yeah dog yeah yeah
you went to planet fitness in chic? Yes. Streeterville?
Oh, not that one.
I actually went to the wrong one. I went to one on Streeterville.
That's close to here, yeah.
No, I accidentally went to one that was a little far away.
So this is going to be the biggest cameo on Pardon My Take this week.
Anybody else who's on this week who's not normally on Pardon My Take
are going to be totally eclipsed.
This is awesome.
He might have bumped me.
Brandon was supposed to be
tomorrow's episode, but Jerry is now
tomorrow's episode. Did you crush?
He crushed. You know he crushed.
But I also crushed. You crushed.
I said I crushed too. But Jerry is Jerry.
Me and Jerry both crushed.
You're a unanimous 1-1 Rushmore guest, are you not?
I would say so.
Yeah, I think I made it on the Mount Rushmore of guests.
I think I was third round, third round pick, which is pretty good.
You're like right there with like Joe Mixon.
Cool.
I'm sure with Mixon.
Yeah, good company.
Yeah, right there.
Now, will Brandon, when his episode comes out,
will he have the doodle of himself on the logo?
Yes.
Oh, Brandon.
Yes, he will.
That will be very nice.
I'm sure that will be used as a way to fuck with you.
Yeah, it will.
Yes.
Yeah.
Friday now.
Friday.
Friday.
Hopefully Friday.
Hopefully Friday.
Hopefully Friday.
You could tell by the level of facial hair
when the doodle was actually drawn.
Yeah, that's true.
Jerry's got a great doodle.
Does he?
Jerry's a good-looking guy.
He is a good-looking guy.
Yeah.
My avatar's always, for some reason,
I just give good avatar.
My avatars always look good.
Yeah.
Just my features and stuff. Have you ever had a bad avatar? No. Oh, man. My avatars always look good. Yeah. Just my features and stuff.
Have you ever had a bad avatar?
No.
Oh, man.
That's pretty good.
Good for you.
Super hot avatar.
Not possible.
Not possible.
God-ass avatars.
Jerry, are you nervous about the gauntlet?
No.
Okay.
Great.
That was a long pause.
Yeah.
No.
I mean, you're supposed to do something that scares you every day.
So even if I was nervous about it.
Is that true?
You're supposed to do something that scares you every day?
You're supposed to do one thing every day that scares you.
That's a saying, but how is that possible?
You could take it to some pretty crazy extremes.
That scares you.
You're just supposed to do something that scares you every day.
So what do you do that scares you?
Ask your wife for money.
That was scary. Yep money that was scary yep that was scary um i don't know uh even like talking to a stranger doing something just doing something that scares you every day um well what was the last thing i did i mean
uh talking to someone introducing yourself to someone coming and saying yes to the gauntlet
which could be in the United
First Class Lounge
is it mostly like
social fears or do you ever
just put yourself through physical hell
no I would say it's
usually going up to someone
and introducing yourself
like that person's a stranger
I can't say hello to them.
Oh, no, I'm supposed to do something
that scares me every day.
Boom.
And then you go up and...
You'll go up to a random stranger and say, hey.
I'll stop someone on the street
if I find myself attracted to them for some reason.
That's not true.
I don't know why I said that.
I'm lying now.
What do you guys think of when you think of Jerry O'Connell movies?
Oh, Jesus.
Stand by me?
It's got to be when you were a little chub of a lot.
I think it's Jerry Maguire.
Yeah.
I was thinking also Sneaky Can't Hardly Wait.
Sure.
Jerry Maguire, your favorite movie, Che?
Stephen Che is behind us.
He's the producer.
Oh, there he is.
He's got one of the most interesting brains of all time.
If you want to, after the gauntlet, I'm going to give him some.
You know, fun fact, Jerry Maguire took place around the Arizona Cardinals.
It was supposed to be around the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Oh, no way.
But we shot at Arizona Stadium.
Stephen, I just made that up.
I was lying.
Oh, man. Oh, he just made that up. I was lying.
He's a liar.
I thought it would be scary to lie to Steven Che.
I did it.
No, it shot at Arizona because it was easy to shoot at that Arizona Stadium.
Yeah.
We could get it, Sun Devil Stadium.
Yeah.
Steven was over the moon with that one lie you know it's interesting about Jerry Maguire
it was
one of the first films
to
be produced alongside the NFL
so
before that
and a lot of times after that
if you did football movies like The Replacements
they had to come up with weird names for teams Before that and a lot of times after that, if you did football movies like The Replacements,
they had to come up with weird names for teams.
And whenever you see a football or any given Sunday, it's like, wait a minute, this isn't the NFL. And you immediately know because they're wearing weird uniforms and everything.
But Jerry Maguire was given the express content.
The express, what are they saying? Written consent.
Written consent.
That's what they say.
Of the NFL.
And it was really interesting.
A lot of the people who worked at the NFL then still work there and I still stay in
touch with them on set and everything.
That's why Draft Day, which is objectively not a good movie, is watchable.
So watchable.
Because they use all the NFL stuff.
Well, I'm actually amazed that Jerry Maguire, and it was before stuff changed in the NFL,
you know, Rod Tidwell is a player who deals with injuries that keep happening to him that
are a little controversial,
you know,
and so it was a different time.
Yeah, it was.
It was, yeah.
Concussion's not even a thing.
So Stand By Me,
Jerry Maguire.
Does anybody ever confuse you for Brendan Fraser?
Oh.
No, a lot of people think
of Jason Bateman, though.
Okay.
Oh, that's a good one.
Danny Conrad's here.
Hi, Daniel.
Jerry, I was in.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Going through Jerry Maguire.
Just going through my IMDb list.
Scream?
Yeah, I was in Scream.
I forgot you were in Scream.
Yeah.
It was a little jarring today.
I met, they have a new intern on part of my take named Huey.
Yeah.
Great guy.
Lions fan.
And they said, what do you know from Jerry?
And he said, he used to be an actor.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was.
Yeah.
One stung.
You're still acting.
Yeah.
And you also have a show every day that probably goes up against this show.
Pictionary I'm not competition but uh yeah they're two different mediums this is streaming that's
more broadcast stuff I mean I'm not uh I'm not Bloomberg here but they're different uh
yeah can all be friends yeah absolutely um all right so do you want to do the gauntlet yes all
right so we'll have someone do it first. Okay.
One of us, so you can see the whole thing.
It's very simple.
It's just different activities on the court,
and then you have to sit back down,
and then there's a sporkle trivia that you have to get 10 answers right.
Okay.
But once you see it happen once, you'll be good.
Got it.
So, TJ, we're going to do the gauntlet now.
It's the Ghost Energy Gauntlet brought to you by Ghost Energy.
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So there's something for everyone.
I'm going to have a hit of this Tropical Mango.
Yes, let's go.
They're like candy flavors, but they only have five calories.
That's incredible.
Delicious.
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All right, so TJ, spin the wheel to see who goes and then jerry will go after
them so you'll get a baseline now jerry there's been a lot of celebrities athletes etc that have
done this um there's some key point times that you're going to try to beat cam newton being one
of them okay all right uh anyone have a fedora he did it in a fedora yes he did yes uh okay
spin the wheel let's see who goes
jay hey welcome back all right yeah you're doing it so steven chase you do it so it starts off with
getting one cornhole Jerry
Then you've got to score a goal
You've got to hit a home run
You've got to throw a football
You've got to make a three pointer
And then trivia
Alright are you ready?
What's wrong with the bandaid?
He said oh no I have a bandaid on
On your finger?
Are you ready Stephen?
You want to hit a ghost energy before you start?
Yeah Take a hit a ghost energy before you start? Sure.
Yeah.
Take a hit of ghost energy.
Don't blame this one.
I break the record.
Oh, you're going to break the record?
I would give you a sip of mine, but mono seems to be spreading at my daughter's high school.
Oh.
Everyone's got it.
Scandalous.
Oh, no.
She is safe, right?
He has two daughters.
Oh, that Swedish Fish one is so good.
Oh, my God.
That's incredible.
Kangaroo Jack was supposed to be for adults.
Oh, it was a rated R film originally.
Down and Under.
Yeah.
I filmed a nude scene.
What?
I did frontal nudity.
Your penis was in the original cut of Kangaroo Jack.
There's footage of it somewhere.
Holy.
We got to find that.
Yeah.
I'll be.
I got it.
Oh, nice.
All right.
Ready, Steven?
Three, two, one, go.
All right.
So just one of these, Jerry.
Just get one in.
There.
Okay.
Okay.
So now you go shoot.
If you miss the first three, you can shoot from anywhere.
Oh, shoot.
So they'll help.
Okay.
Nice.
Our goalie's pretty good.
Oh, wow.
What a shot.
Okay.
Great shot.
All right.
Now he's going to hit a home run.
All you got to do is hit it above this level, Jerry.
Above this studio.
Can't hit the ceiling.
Do we have music, TJ?
Where are you at?
Oh, there we go.
Feels like we're doing this naked.
All right.
It's like Baker. Look at this.
Yeah. Oh, man. This is incredible
to watch. This is like Jameis.
This is like Tampa Bay
Oh, my gosh.
Testa Verde time. She might break the gosh. That was a birdie time.
They might break the record.
Testaverde minus everything.
He said he would.
He said no complaining after I drink this ghost energy.
Still got to correct here.
Lost record.
Jumper is.
There we go.
Oh, he's got to do it on both sides, huh?
Oh, no.
Tried to walk that off. What's that one? Oh, he's got to do it on both sides, huh? Oh! Oh, no.
Tried to walk that off.
He wants that one?
Oh, Steve.
Oh, this guy did performance and answers?
Yep.
Funny way of showing it.
His shot is broken right now. This is unreal.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
All right.
So you just got to get ten of these right, Jerry.
Any order.
Any order, anywhere.
Body armor.
Ten Jackie Chan movies?
That should be easy for you.
Oh, Rush Hour.
There it is.
Rush Hour 2.
Who am I?
Rumble in the Bronx.
I mean, I was right.
St. Louis Cardinals.
Shit, what's a bird?
Some machines.
Countries?
No.
Hogwarts.
Slytherin.
Six fan armies.
Kiss Army.
Juggalos.
There you go. go monsters or little monsters
uh shit one more one president served more than two terms uh shit obama
oh no more than two terms more than two terms yes more than two terms? Yes, more than two terms. Teddy Roosevelt?
European country where you go skiing.
That's going to work. That's going to work.
That's going to work.
You got it.
Franklin Roosevelt.
You got it.
Is that allowed?
Well, not since he did it.
Oh, okay.
I think it was during a world war.
Okay.
I said just let him do three.
Yeah.
Learn something every day.
There it is good job Steven
good time Jerry you ready
I'm ready
picture you
looking good looking strong
stand up let me get a picture of you
you want to flex or anything
there it is
J-O-C gauntlet
big heck you send me that pic when you get a second?
Yes, I got you.
Obama.
Oh!
Oh, topless!
God damn.
Save some for the rest of us.
Hold on.
You got to start with it on the ground.
If he beats your time with his shirt off.
I mean, there are very few people that I root for to beat my time.
He is definitely one of them.
I would absolutely, nothing would make me happier than him beating my time.
Yeah, Brandon will help you.
All right.
What's that back hair?
Yeah, a little tramp stamp.
I like it.
You got a reverse happy trail.
That's like a bike seat for piggyback rides.
Is that a target?
You wax it usually?
It looks like you missed a spot.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You look great.
It's cool.
You look great. I can't believe I never look at it. I gotta see how long look great. It's cool. You look great.
It's a hard to reach spot.
Yeah, it's bad.
I have the same thing if it makes you feel better.
With a Celtic shamrock tattooed over it.
So, not alone.
So thick.
Yeah.
I think you could braid it.
That's hairier than my pubes right now.
It's, yeah, so.
But that would be, like, comfortable if you were, if you.
Big Cat, if you were to hop on, that's, like, comfortable.
Yeah, something to hold on to.
Oh, yeah.
All right, Jerry, here we go.
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
Something to hold on to.
Three, two, one, go.
All right.
Oh, we don't see it.
We don't see it.
There it is.
Come on, Jerry.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
He's got a good toss all over the board.
There it goes.
There it is.
Soccer.
Very cool and calm. Chase sprints in front. Not a huge sense Soccer. Very cool and calm.
Okay, sprints in front.
Not a huge sense of urgency.
Oh, nice kick.
Huh.
Maybe it's the same kick every time?
All right, from anywhere.
Anywhere.
From anywhere.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
That's not it.
He's not hitting the goal.
Come on, Kosh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. That's not it. He's not hitting the goal. Come on, coach.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
He's smiling.
Is there a magnet around the goal for him?
It just goes so left.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, no.
Oh, Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake.
Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Jake. Oh, my God.
This is one of the worst soccer performances I've ever seen.
He's kidding.
Everything goes wide.
How is he still going wide?
All right, there it is.
He almost made Malice X dreams of never having kids come true.
Oh, man.
Uh-oh.
Okay. That tough is crazy. It-oh. Okay.
That tough is crazy.
It's a crazy tough. It's like a Rorschach test.
Yeah.
Okay.
Jerry's so awful he didn't even move.
Just clapped at him to throw the ball back.
Remember how Austin Powers had the heart on his chest?
Yeah.
It's like that on the spine.
There'll never be another Austin Powers, in my opinion.
No.
Just wouldn't work.
How many were there?
Oh!
Three?
Four?
Three?
At least three.
Oh, no.
He's so close.
Why would human evolution need hair there?
Right.
Do like super hairy dudes even have that?
I don't know.
He's like a wooly willy.
It's so confusing. He's not hairy.
It looks like he left that as like a heart.
It looks like he was getting his back waxed and he ran out of money.
Is it narrow?
I don't know.
Is it pointing down?
It's so confusing.
I'd like to see a thin strip of hair going around the side so it looks like a thong.
There it is.
It's a whale tail.
Yeah.
All right.
Ew, it's worse from the side.
Jerry was a college.
He has volume.
He was a college fencer.
Really?
Yes.
At NYU.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We're not getting any closer.
That is...
That's it.
Psych.
It makes me feel better, though,
like when a super hot girl has hair on her big toe.
Yeah.
It's like, this is an equalizer.
Yeah, she's just like me.
He's not attractive anymore.
Ever since I've seen his hair.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, yes.
You can't be walking into movie sets with that hair.
They're telling him to shave it, right?
That's so distracting.
It's like a doormat to the asshole.
There's a quit factor going on here now.
I sense a quit factor.
A little frustration.
That was a big thing the other kids were asking for on Stand By Me, right?
The lower, yeah, that's right.
He's got a nice arc. They're calling himerry d low jerry d low no oh no oh man
it's like it's the painful ones are when he feels like he's putting a lot of effort into it
And then it doesn't even hit the rim
Yeah
Get in
There it is
Jerry sit right here
Sit right here
Sit right here
Sit right here
Sit right here
Seven biggest countries by
You got to talk in the mic
Hold on Okay Most popular deli meat in the u.s
most popular it's gonna be bologna okay um you go anywhere seven biggest companies by
uh revenue in u.s supporter new york ontario oh there we go. And Huron.
Michigan.
Five sports.
Sports.
Okay.
It's the scariest lake.
Acceptable.
Oh, what's hello in Spanish?
Hola.
Hola.
French.
Bonjour.
Bonjour.
German?
Hawaiian?
Chinese. uh bonjour bonjour german hawaiian uh chinese uh god my kids used to watch uh uh that show
nihoma there we go tj oh yeah you got it um what's japanese yeah japanese
german and hawaiian uh german is uh not a vitaita Zane. That's goodbye.
Hello, German.
To Hawaiian.
I don't want to offend anyone.
Nine countries known to possess nuclear weapons.
North Korea.
That's a given.
Iran ain't got them yet. Am I right?
Yeah.
US.
Yeah.
Great Britain.
Russia. For sure. For sure. For US. Great Britain. Russia, for sure.
Not Ukraine.
India.
You got it!
609.
609, Jerry.
That took six minutes?
Six minutes and nine seconds.
How long did it take Jameis?
Let's see.
Jameis didn't do it, right?
Oh, Jameis didn't do it.
Cam did it.
Cam did it.
Oh, sorry.
Cam.
Oh, no.
I think Cam was faster.
No.
But we'll find someone that you beat.
Yeah, Cam was faster.
Okay.
6-0-9.
There's a chance he beat Cam in football.
Yeah.
In my defense, I...
You beat Will Compton.
He played in the NFL.
Okay.
You beat...
Zahn Mantis.
Stu Feiner.
Paul Rabel.
Tony P. in D.C.
I beat Stephanie.
You beat Stephanie.
You beat me blindfolded.
And Colter in flip flops.
Jersey Jerry you beat.
Both real and post marathon.
Yep.
And you beat Jeff D. Lowe.
Pretty good.
Okay.
And all it cost you was us making fun of your back hair for the entire six minutes.
I'm going to put my shirt back on.
I mean, it's crazy.
Yeah.
It's crazy. It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Oh, look at him.
It looks like a heart.
I don't know what.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I like it.
I don't think I could grow that if I never shaved again.
You don't know where the cameras are, Jerry.
It's okay.
They're right in front of you.
Yeah, you nailed it. it nailed it oh that was exhausting did a great job and he had ghost energy shout out ghost energy
take another sip give you a little more uh i think that's my tropical mango over there. That's your tropical mango.
You're in great shape, Jerry.
Minus the back hair.
What?
You have two nice dimples of Venus, though.
Those two little indents on the lower back.
All right, guys.
I just took my shirt off.
It's sort of a joke.
No.
No, it was funny.
That was my...
Yeah. Look, it was funny. Analyze my... Yeah.
Look, normally I...
Did somebody say analyze my ass?
Oh.
I thought I heard ass.
Do you want us to analyze your ass?
Do I want to what?
Do you want us to analyze your ass?
Do I want to...
What, my ass?
Is he okay?
Analyze.
Oh, analyze my ass
Yeah
Um
No no no
Okay alright
Um
Normally I shave this area
It's
I don't think you do
I do I do
I don't think
Normally it's groomed
It's quite something
It kind of makes you
I don't
I saw you as a sex symbol
Now I really don't, I saw you as a sex symbol.
Now I really don't.
In some cultures, like back hair is like arousing.
It's like an aphrodisiac.
Yeah, what cultures?
No, cultures.
My man's got a ton.
Different?
Yeah, he's covered.
Women like body hair, right?
I love it.
Like for real.
Yes, I like that the beef is a hairy guy.
Yeah.
I'm into it.
But like hair everywhere?
I'm known as a bear.
Yeah.
That's right.
Yeah.
In the communities.
Are you going to raw dog your flight back?
No, I brought a laptop.
Oh, nice.
Downloaded some stuff.
Hell yes.
Sounds nice. That was exhausting. Yeah. some stuff. Hell yes. Sounds nice.
That was exhausting.
Yeah.
What else do you want to talk about, Jerry?
About how bad my jump shot is?
Yeah. Work on that.
Yeah, that was tough.
Just the release and everything.
That was really, really tough.
Getting out there and doing it is really the point.
Having shot a basketball in years, How bad my soccer skills are.
It was incredible.
You just couldn't.
You still have fucking Hope Solo out there guarding the.
Yeah, he's a real sucker.
Really?
Get someone who's not a goalie.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, he frustrates people.
He had the gloves and like...
Hope Solo.
That's the only goalie I really know.
Is she a goalie?
Yeah, she's a goalie.
Hope Solo.
Oh, there he is.
There's our goalie.
Yeah.
Just using the Aaron Rodgers phone cord.
No Bluetooth waves in that brain.
Thick eyebrows today.
Yeah, he does.
Close, too.
I can judge it.
This whole show is just body hair shaming is what we do.
So it was really the worst show you could ever be on.
Look at Max.
Max.
I mean, that's a lot of hair, too.
You and Max?
Yeah.
Yeah?
Very cool.
Very cool.
Very cool.
Brothers.
Yeah.
He'd take a bullet for you i'd let him
um all right well jerry thank you hey thank you guys i'm sorry i uh
couldn't beat uh cam yeah all right i thought you were gonna apologize for the back hair oh i'm sorry i i i kind of forgot about my back hair i wouldn't have um i wouldn't have taken my shirt off had i
known uh yeah but yeah i mean you guys know i don't like standing a mirror looking at my
entire body now you know i uh yeah i'm not that guy you know yeah you shave body hair uh no i
don't have a lot of body hair.
Okay.
All right.
Which is kind of shocking.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
I should have more.
Just never really got all of it.
Got to go to Turkey with the boys.
Yeah.
Get some body hair.
Go into Turkey to get pubes.
Yeah, aren't they going soon?
At the top of your head.
Are they going soon?
Maybe so.
Jerry, there's a group of seven guys here that are all flying to Turkey together to get fresh caps.
You know, it's funny.
I know a lot of people do it in Los Angeles.
It's more cost effective to go to Turkey.
Yes.
And they say the work is even better for some reason.
That it's like Turkey, Istanbul is like the hair.
They got the best.
Hair plug capital of the world
it's like um like if you want to like ski you go to switzerland if you want to um learn how to
throw a boomerang you go to australia and if you want hair plugs you go to turkey yeah place
also great uh turkishights, those little... Yes.
And the tricky ice cream guys. I got that kid in Tarnia.
Yeah.
Those guys piss me off.
Why don't you spin the wheel, TJ?
You want to do the game time ad?
I'm going to walk Jerry out.
Yep.
Or at least walk him to the...
Bye, everybody.
That was fun.
It was very nice meeting you.
Nice to meet you.
We love getting out to the live events.
Whether it's a concert, a a football game or a comedy show
we always shoot god damn it
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What time is it, everybody?
GameTime! Thank you, everybody.
I feel so upset with
you guys for shitting on Jerry O'Connell's
back hair. I think he was fine.
I didn't shit on him. I was out there. You think that
he didn't take that too well? No, I
think he did. I think he's fine.
He's such a sweet man.
That was elephant in the room. We couldn't not talk about it.
Oh, that's surface level ball busting, in my the room We couldn't not talk about it Oh that's Kate
That's surface level
Ball busting in my opinion
He didn't have to
He could have been okay
I think it'd be more
I bet he'll be fine
He's going home to
Rebecca Romaine
I think he'll be fine
She was mystique
Kate
He's going home to mystique
Okay
Okay
He's also
Jerry's one of those guys
He's a shake everyone's hand guy
I had chips all over my head.
Thanks, everyone.
Just a terrific guy.
Through and through.
I felt peace looking at him.
Yeah.
He's just fun to be around.
He struggled on the gauntlet, but that happens.
That happens to everyone.
Yeah, and he was doing it for his mom.
And people are only going to remember the hair.
Yeah.
Yeah, the hair helped.
Hair was what it was.
Stephen Che, you're back.
I am.
How you doing?
Great.
How was the bachelor party where you got pine cones?
I mean, the giant pine cones.
How often are you going to see those?
Were you with a group when you found those?
I was.
And did you guys all have, like, collective awe?
I saw one, and then I just said, I need to work for a minute.
Yeah, let me work.
What do you mean?
Well, like, we were on a hike, so they were all just going by.
I was like, holy shit.
Let me work?
Yeah.
Take a photo, put a tweet out.
Yeah.
Puts bread on the table.
Two hoodies.
It was cold.
We were on the, I guess, we We were on the lake and it was windy.
It was high of 53 that day.
It was chilly.
I was glad I wore two hoodies.
It would have been too cold for one.
Why the fucking smirk?
Yeah, when else do you make that face?
Look at that pine cone.
Guys, he's right.
It's a big pine cone.
It's giant.
It's almost as big as my head.
So how was the bachelor party?
It was fun. It was fun.
It was fun.
It's coming off of camp,
which was also very fun.
It's just a long time to be away.
Yeah.
Staying up late a lot.
Did you get fucked up?
I did.
Yeah?
Did you do anything naughty?
Yeah.
No, I felt...
Oh.
My wife was like,
oh, guys like those triplets?
I was like,
I think I saw no women the entire time.
And then I corrected myself.
There were the drink person at the casino was a woman.
All right.
Drink person.
There was no other women in the casino?
Oh, there was.
Shout out Emily.
She was on the craps table with us for a little bit.
Oh.
Maybe you should send your wife another text.
Let her know.
It's weird to know her name.
I'm very friendly on the craps table.
Interesting.
You stayed up really late?
Yeah, we were up until 3 to 4 every day.
Playing craps with Emily?
You were up until 3 or 4 every single day?
Yep.
Did you get hungover?
No, I had a lot of electrolytes before I went to sleep.
Oh.
Tom was awesome. Are you the funny friend? Are you the cool guy? Yeah, are you a lot of electrolytes before I went to sleep. Oh. Tonto's awesome.
Are you the funny friend?
Are you the cool guy?
Yeah, are you the coolest of your friend group?
I don't think so.
Well, who is?
I don't know.
We're all...
Don't say.
I think we're all pals.
Who's pack leader?
Pack leader, I guess my friend John.
This is my best friend from high school or from
college and i kind of latched on to his high school friends so they're all friends from growing
up and i became friends with them during my time in college gotcha you're the zany zany fringe guy
uh i wouldn't say zany but you're missing out on a lot of inside jokes that they have yeah
school yeah any inside jokes any gags from the weekend? Did you pretend to be a girl?
No.
Put a wig on and say, yes, bitch.
Yes, queen.
That's funny.
No.
No, just a lot of hanging.
Let's get this bitch married.
Drinking.
Yeah.
That kind of shit.
I went on ATV, which was kind of fun.
Very scary, but fun.
Did you ride it, or did you ride the back?
Four-wheeler?
I rode it.
Four-wheeler?
Four-wheeler, yes.
Almost flipped it.
Oh, yeah.
So, you almost flipped it?
I did, yeah. That's dangerous, Steve.
I'm not a good driver in any
type of view. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know why.
I got some ideas.
Che, do you want me to tell you this thing?
Yeah, hit me.
I don't really want to tell him.
No, yes you do.
Your whole week has been about telling him.
Is this actually real?
It's a real thing that's not going to happen.
I mean, I can only think of one thing that could possibly...
If I had prior knowledge to it.
If I didn't have prior knowledge to it,
I have no fucking idea.
Yeah.
People texted me last night.
I had no clue.
Well, what do you think it might be?
The only thing I think it could be...
I don't know if I'm supposed to say it yet,
but I was supposed to get certified in something.
You being a blackjack dealer?
Yeah.
No, you could still do that.
Oh, then I have no idea what this could be at all.
Che, do you want to...
Should we make him play GeoGuessr and I'll tell him half
and then I'll tell him the second half after he gets to state?
Yeah.
Let's do a...
Maybe, like, is there a Hangman online?
Oh, yeah.
Or can we do Wheel of Fortune online?
Yeah, something that reveals...
A custom Wheel of Fortune.
Now, I want to be clear with what I'm going to tell Che.
Well, I know what this is. Now, I want to be clear with what I'm going to tell Chad. Well, I know what this is.
No.
I want to be clear.
I did offer to tell him in private.
He was like, no, let's do it for the show.
I also want to be clear that this is, no part of me was trying to stop this.
It just doesn't make sense.
So, like, I wanted it to happen, but it just doesn't make sense for it to happen
so it's not like I'm trying to stop it from happening
because it's Stephen Shea
and this was close to happening right
like there was like
yeah
yeah okay
when was I gonna be brought into the loop
but it just fell through
I spoke with Dave about it
and it didn't make sense
when you were gonna be letting the loop
now
but like this was going to be arranged for me?
Yeah, you were offered something.
Oh.
Don't get too happy.
How do I tell him?
What do I say?
The fact that you want to tell me in private
makes me think I'm going to be very upset.
Oh, make him play Chaperty.
I like you.
Oh, yeah, Chaperty.
How's he going to, Chaperty.
He's the one with the answers.
No, he has the answer.
Yeah, just tell me.
What?
Does everybody know what this is except me?
How many parts can you break this down into?
I don't know.
That's what I'm trying to think.
I think it's two parts.
I think it's two parts.
It's two parts. Two parts.
Yes.
So you could do GeoGuessr to, if he gets a state, he gets one part.
I'm cool with that.
Yeah.
Well, it has to be the good part first, right?
I think I'd go the other part.
Yeah.
Or you think you'd go the...
I would go the thing it is.
The name?
No.
No.
The thing it is.
The activity first.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Fire up GeoGuessr.
I haven't the slightest idea of what this could even possibly be.
Just know it was really close to happening.
And there's a chance you might leave us.
Leave Barstool?
Yeah.
Are the Bucks going to hire me?
It's a good guess.
Are the Bucks going to hire me?
Warmer.
Very warm.
I have no idea.
You have a state up there.
You need to be working on that state.
Okay, yeah, you got a state.
I mean, it's obviously poor Indiana, but.
Oh, oh, oh, a state.
Oh, my God, this looks like Indiana.
Oh, yeah, it does look like Indiana.
Holy shit.
Oh.
Street sign. Gets to you every time. Oh, I mean, does look like Indiana. Holy shit. Straight sign.
Gets to you every time.
I mean, I don't know.
I think once he gets it, I'll just tell him the whole thing.
All right.
I don't want him to be able to figure it out.
Yeah.
Oh, so close.
Similar.
No.
Not at all.
He doesn't miss a beat.
That's the same place.
This could be Massachusetts.
This is Indiana vibes.
No, this looks like...
It could be Massachusetts.
This looks like Quincy, Massachusetts.
What?
It is.
What do you mean it is?
It is.
It's Quincy, Massachusetts.
Based on what?
The house height.
The trees, the shrubbery.
Why Quincy?
All right, hit it.
If you know it, hit it.
Well, let me get some more context clues.
You called the city and state.
The house height.
Wait, hold on.
What are you not?
Oh, the house is lower over here.
Oh, no.
You got nine seconds.
This could be New Jersey, too.
Let's give me some pause.
House height.
Bang!
Holy shit.
Got it.
Was I right?
Give me Quincy.
Talk us through how you knew that.
My buddy lives in Quincy.
That was just like his area.
But based on house height.
He got the second one.
He said the house height looked like Quincy, Massachusetts.
Wait, no, no.
Oh, that's incredible.
The house height?
Great job, Steven.
The house height.
And your prize is what I'm about to tell you.
This is real?
I feel like you're fucking with me.
No, I'm not fucking with you at all.
There are too many camera people in here for this to be
a small thing. That's a good point.
Yeah. It's also just a slow day.
Fair.
Over the weekend, Steven,
I was in contact
with someone who wanted to do a
podcast with you.
Okay.
Why me, and what was this
about? It was football related. Okay. Why me and what was this about? It was football related.
Okay.
It was a podcast with Adam Schefter.
No way.
Really?
Yes.
Adam Schefter wanted to do a podcast with me?
Yes, he wanted you to be his producer.
That's pretty cool.
See, I knew he was going to do that.
I fucking knew he was going to do that.
I mean, I have a great job here.
I know, but I felt so bad having to say
that it wasn't going to work out
because I was excited for you.
Oh, yeah, that's awesome.
I knew he was going to do that.
I knew he was going to do that.
It was always a win. He was going to do that.
Fuck. I mean, that's to do that. It was always a win. He was going to do that. Fuck.
I mean, that's...
I have a great job. I know.
There's pretty much nothing I would leave.
Yeah, but you can't do it.
Adam Schefter. I love Schefter.
The fact that he thought of me means everything.
So this is huge for me. God damn it.
I knew this, guys. I knew he was... There's not a little
regret in your mind? No.
Is this the best case scenario for you? He's a Bible teacher. Yeah, this is the best case scenario little regret in your mind no scenario for you he's a bible
yeah this is best case scenario oh my god
that's the best case scenario
best case is you can do it
I mean
like
I mean
yes and no cause like yeah I mean there's an obvious
conflict of interest here this backfired
so poorly we want you to sulk
in the fact that you barely missed out on the opportunity
of a lifetime.
This is the opportunity of a lifetime.
Damn it. You wouldn't have had
to leave Barstool, right? No, you wouldn't have.
That's what he keeps saying.
You said, okay.
You would have been able to do it with, well,
you obviously can't because it doesn't make sense,
but it would have offered to do it
while keeping your job here.
Okay.
Okay, now we're getting something.
Good call, Dan.
Oh, because you were like, oh, you might want to leave.
No, I thought you might just be like, oh, I'm out.
I'm going to go do it.
No, no, never.
Okay, but you would have paid it.
If it had worked, you would have done both.
I mean, I love Shefty, so.
You would have been texting with Shefty every day.
That would be cool. And he would tell mey, so... You would have been texting with Shefty every day. That would be cool.
And he would tell me stuff, so that would be awesome.
Yep.
All right, now we're getting somewhere.
That's the point of texting.
Yep.
And he would tell me stuff.
We would text and he'd tell me stuff.
No, that's like super...
I'm very humbled right now.
He's going to wear this as a badge of honor.
Yeah, this is incredible. I can tell everyone almost did a podcast with Adam Schlechter. He's going to wear the badge of honor. Yeah, this is incredible.
I should tell everyone I almost did a podcast with Adam Slepter.
He's updating the Twitter bio.
Maybe I'll get on his Christmas list.
That would be great.
Yeah, this backfired.
What's his Christmas list?
He might be acting right now.
He sends very, very elaborate gifts to people.
The Christmas list was a lot.
It's not that elaborate.
I got a blanket.
It's pretty cool.
It's got an S on it. Wait, pretty cool. It's got an S on it.
Wait, he sent you a blanket with an S on it?
What's the S?
Schefter?
No, I think it had my initials on it.
That would make way more sense.
Oh, that's even cooler!
I mean an S works for me because, you know.
Steven.
Good job.
No, that's awesome. This is great news.
I thought you were gonna tell me that I couldn't do the blackjack thing,
which would have sucked.
Now you can't do the blackjack thing.
No, don't do that.
I need a win.
If you were so close to being able to do a podcast with your idol,
and he reached out and it just didn't work,
and that would never come to fruition.
How is that not registering with him?
His brain doesn't ever do that.
I'd be really upset.
He doesn't have that nerve.
I mean, yeah, it would be very cool.
I don't know his cadence and how often he needs to take interviews and go live and all that stuff.
So that could be pretty demanding.
You're going to be like his producer that asks him questions and stuff.
In person, too?
No, probably Zoom.
Imagine Shaft or Jay playing GeoGuessr together.
Back and forth.
That'd be cool.
I wanted it to work out
when he initially told me. I was like, I will
absolutely try to get this to work out.
Cool. Thank you.
That's awesome.
I understand why. What do we do now?
You should have had him pick Schefter or Barstool
before you've been telling him.
Then he loses both jobs.
I love this job.
You pick Schefter, but that job isn't actually available.
You're gone.
And you showed your true allegiance to him.
He just did.
He basically won by saying,
by now he gets to tell everyone that he was considered,
and he won by showing his extreme loyalty to us.
He just won every which way.
The best response possible.
Ever.
He was like, I would never leave you guys.
You're never going to beat him.
You're never going to beat him.
It's never going to happen.
I need to shut down this blackjack thing.
He'll be fine with that, too.
He'll roll.
Yes, he would.
He would.
Look at this man.
He rolled right through it.
When I asked him, I was like, do you want me to tell you in private because I don't want to do this if you're not comfortable with it?
He's like, is it the blackjack thing?
That's all he's been thinking about.
Well, no, no, because I was saying I couldn't imagine what this possibly is because I have no future big things that are way different than what I'm doing except that blackjack thing.
So I was like, it's probably that?
But then Jack McCarthy sent me something between then and the show.
So I was like, all right, well, it can't be this.
So I have no idea what this is.
But that's very cool.
The fact that it even got risen to Dave's level is pretty dope.
It is gratitude and humility.
He's right.
It's pretty dope.
He's trained.
He's unfazeable.
Oh, my legs are broken.
You see that?
No.
What was that?
Puka Nakua has a brother.
Oh, yeah.
He was just describing his long return.
Oh, I want to see this.
Yeah.
I thought it was funny.
He had a crazy return.
You guys might not.
Can we not show it?
No, it's an interview, right?
Yeah.
What's his first name?
He had a crazy return.
Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying.
We'll catch him in the stall later.
How did Schefter handle the news that he can't have sex?
He was bummed too.
Yeah.
Was he more bummed than Stephen Cheney?
Schefter was bummed?
Yeah.
No.
There it is.
Wait, it was cool that he's bummed?
Well, like.
You wanted to be sad.
Well, yeah.
I mean, I hope that it all works out for him, but that's, you know.
He was like holding out hope.
That's awesome.
I hope his other producers is the upside down version of Che now.
No, I have not.
106?
Geez.
I feel like that's what I was about to say.
Going sideways made it feel like an extra 60 yards because I got to that 50
yard line and I was like, my legs are gone.
Oh, he's zany.
I like him.
That was good.
My legs are gone. My legs are gone. Oh, my's zany. I like him. That was good. My legs are gone.
My legs are gone.
My legs are gone.
Oh, man.
We got to figure out how.
When has he ever been broken?
Data Day.
Well, that's coming up.
Data Day is next week.
You were a little bit broken.
Yeah, he was.
Next week.
Yeah, next week is Data Day, so that will have to be we have to
thwart him on data day no we don't have to thwart he thwarts himself that's true that's the one day
he kind of twists himself in knots yeah we might want to do that wednesday instead of thursday why
just because we have that thing on thursday or wednesday that's going to be kind of okay we'll
do wednesday okay we do data day on wed Wednesday I'd say my biggest point where I was broken
Was when KB slammed me
Physically broken
But you weren't mentally broken
Should we slam him?
Yeah it was just
It was uncomfortable for both of us
Was that like a bad day at work for you Steve?
Yeah probably just cause I was hurting
But it was fun
I think we had the WWE people on that day
But then it turned you into did. So it was kind of fun.
But then it turned you into a monster.
So it made him funny.
He took the prop ambulance and got a real medical diagnosis.
I did, yeah.
Like, I gave him some good stuff I should not repeat on air.
What?
What did he give you?
Slurs?
No, no.
Like, gave me some good advice.
Did he give you drugs?
I thought you were talking about drugs.
You can't repeat medical advice.
What advice on air? No, I don't about drugs. I repeat, medical advice. Good advice on air.
No, I don't take drugs.
What could the advice possibly be?
Is it vulgar?
No, I don't want to get that guy in trouble.
What?
That guy, that was months ago.
What are you talking about?
Nobody knows who that guy was.
I guess that's true.
And I can almost assure you he won't be in trouble.
What did he tell you?
For giving you medical advice.
Oh.
He.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Uh-oh.
This is classic.
Can you check out my shoulder?
Like, for real?
Yeah.
For real?
I don't think we ever listened to this.
Nobody is a doctor.
That's going to take off the shoulder pads.
Again, they're just driving off because that's what the video called for.
Oh, yes, yes.
Pick him up, Kyle.
Pick him up, Kyle.
Pick him up.
Pick him up.
Pick him up, Kyle.
Oh, my God.
What did I hit?
Did that actually hurt?
Was that a real reaction?
Oh, yes.
Does it still hurt?
Uh, back of my shoulder hurts a lot.
This is insane.
Yeah, like the shoulder's like...
This also is like maybe the start of a porno.
Yeah.
Why don't you take that off for me?
Where does it hurt?
The bang ambulance, not the bang bus.
Does this hurt?
What about on your inner thigh?
Does that hurt? What about on your inner thigh? Does that hurt?
My touch here, does this hurt?
No, that's okay.
Does this hurt?
It doesn't hurt, but the pain is in this area right here, yeah.
I'm going to do this real quick. Yeah, a little bit more inside, like right here.
Yeah, it's definitely like a muscle thing.
Oh, it's a muscle thing?
That's good, right?
Like a tendon, ligament, something like that.
That's good, right?
Is this guy a really MT?
He's a really MT, yeah.
I feel like we shouldn't show the rest of it for this.
What do you think he's going to do?
Well, it pretty much was like, yeah, he's like, don't go to the hospital.
Oh, what? That's good news. like, yeah, he's like, don't go to the hospital. Oh, what?
That's good news.
Well, yeah.
For what purpose?
Readers digesting it, but yeah.
Readers digesting it.
What do you mean?
Cliff's notes?
Yeah, he pretty much was like, don't go to the hospital.
You have to wait forever.
They're not going to really do much.
That's not.
That's good.
He basically was like, you're not that injured.
I don't know.
That guy might get fired.
He actually helped the medical system being like, this is not an emergency.
I guess that's true.
That guy's a hero.
Yeah.
Steven's like, I reviewed the Hippocratic Oath.
That really goes against some of their guidelines.
This is the guy that Adam Schefter wanted on his podcast.
Begged for.
Oh, man.
He's crazy.
Just a fan of the man.
Hard worker.
How quickly would he have annoyed Adam Schefter?
Seconds.
Yeah.
I feel like being Schefter could get along pretty well.
Do you have his number already?
I don't have his number.
We've DM'd before,
but that's it.
And then obviously met in person a couple times, and he does know who I am.
Che,
did you know that fuck? Of course he knows who you
are. What?
Kyle? Sorry to interrupt.
Fuck stands
for, it's an acronym,
stands for fornication under
the consent of a king.
Whoa.
Why would he?
Got him there.
I've never seen it with periods, though.
Never seen it with periods.
Most people don't fuck with periods.
That's true.
Yeah, I'm going to call a fake Snapplecap on that.
What? Call it a fake Snapplecap. He's right. I wanted to'm going to call a fake Snapplecap on that. What?
Yeah.
What?
Call it a fake Snapplecap.
He's right.
I wanted to see if he would fake Snapplecap.
He can't be beat.
He can't be beat.
He's good.
And he's really good at GeoGuess or not.
Is that something?
Yeah, he is.
Super good the way he nailed Boston.
Is that something that people say, fake Snapplecap?
No, never.
Never.
I'm going to call a fake Snapplecap on that?
So I think Snapple, some of their facts are fake,
and you have to go to their website to see if it's true or fake.
But they wouldn't have fuck under their cap.
They wouldn't have fuck under their cap.
How is he good at GeoGuessr now?
He got one.
He's guessed Massachusetts a lot.
It's Indiana or Massachusetts.
That's true.
But the way he pinpointed even like, even Massachusetts, New England,
like, I don't think we could have done that.
No.
It's just, he's just getting.
Go again, Chase.
Go again.
Let's be honest.
The way he pinpointed it was house height,
and there's houses that height everywhere.
Oh, but it's, like, pretty specific.
Oh, shit.
Oh, this looks like the park by me.
Oh, my.
So help me God.
He gets this.
If it's his neighborhood.
This is a development.
That's true.
I guess all of it is.
I just love the way he talks about every single place.
No, this is like...
This is a nice neighborhood.
This is by the Commander Stadium.
What?
He speaks in absolutes.
He's the man if he gets this right.
Is he by the Commander's Stadium?
This is hard because I'm not positive the exact state.
This is going to be Maryland, Virginia.
It could technically be DC.
We'll give you credit.
By the Commander's Stadium.
Yeah, it is.
It is.
Uh-oh.
Five seconds.
Pick something.
No, I want Maryland.
Bang!
Holy shit!
Holy fucking shit!
I'm a beast.
I'm a beast.
What was that?
What is going on?
I am a beast.
What is happening?
What is going on?
Holy shit!
What is happening?
Oh my days.
There's cheating.
Something is...
Dude, my friend Teal is right by there.
No, no, no.
Not twice in a row.
Something is afoot here.
Jay comes back and just dominates us.
Every which way.
He does.
I mean, this is insane.
Not a fluke.
TJ, are you writing it down and sliding it across the desk?
So there was white brick houses, green grass, blue sky.
What made you know, one, that it was Maryland
2, close to the stadium? I went
to
whatever their former team name was. I went to
that game on a Sunday night and I had to walk through
that area. So I know that.
I remember being like, these are some interesting
townhouses. They're all very similar.
I'm pretty sure that's walking distance
from the stadium. If not, that's right pretty close.
That might as well have been a Getty Image house.
Yeah, that was Google first result.
That house is a lot of places.
It's like any suburb.
I mean, the Che Hive right now.
The Che Hive has got to be fucking insane right now.
I can't imagine.
The Che Hive is just doing fucking cartwheels.
Yeah, they got up in a cartwheel.
I have chills right now.
They're just whooping.
They got their shirts off.
They're fucking twisting them around.
They're just stacking wins.
Just buzzed on us.
He buzzed us.
Che Hive.
Oh, my God.
Did you see Clemmer walk creepily behind that woman
In the grocery store
That was really hard to remember
I forgot about that again
He's still actively there
Yeah I completely memory hold this
Did you say controversy
Oh no
So he got in New Mexico yesterday
We didn't see that one
Every time I go to sleep
Like even a nap,
I wake up forgetting about all of this.
Oh!
He low-balled him.
Oh, he did low-ball.
Shout out Richard.
That impact is perfect.
So we've been driving around everywhere.
So this one I found at the team shop.
Okay.
Straves on the team shop. So this Strains on the team shop.
So this guy knows us.
There you go.
Oh, he called it Max.
Did that guy know who was going to the mall?
Did that guy plan himself?
I don't know.
New Mexico is off the board.
He 100% planned himself.
That's allowed, is it not?
It should be fine.
Yeah.
I guess so.
Fans want to help him.
And then what was today?
This is the one that I struggled to watch.
The first video of this one got me.
This part right here.
Oh, my God.
What is he doing?
I can't.
Shouldn't he be dividing the groceries at checkout?
That's not a hat.
Oh. You have to call me to my car. I will give you $90 cash right now.
Oh, really?
Really.
You know him?
Yes.
Is he serious?
He's serious.
Where you been?
I'm from New York City, but I have to go to every state.
I'm in Texas right now.
I will give you $90 cash right now.
Are you recording me?
Yeah, I have to.
Okay. So you have to wait, I have to. Okay.
All right, we'll come along with you.
Oh, my God.
I'm counting this.
I'll carry your bag.
I am, too.
It's a headpiece.
In a few ways.
Also, Frank said that it doesn't count.
We're good.
Oh, look at that.
She switched.
Tune in next year when we do White Hats.
It's all real, I promise.
There we go.
Texas is off the map.
Your name?
I'm Bobby.
Bobby, I'm Chris.
Thank you very much.
Bobby just saved us.
We don't have to ban Texas.
We don't. Bobby saves the day. Thank you, Bobby. Well, you're. We don't have to ban Texas. We don't.
Bobby saves the day.
Thank you, Bobby.
Well, you're welcome.
I wish you all the best.
Thank you.
All right, let's go.
Look at that.
That's great.
That is not a hat.
That is a headband.
So if Frank disagrees, then we're going to have to count it as a hat.
Yeah.
Frank just flying in to just be like.
I think it's more impressive to get that.
Yes. Yes.
Yes.
I like the variety we have.
Yeah.
And where is he now?
So maybe Oklahoma?
If he was in the panhandle of Texas?
I don't know.
I'm just guessing.
But he only has two so far, right?
He's got New Mexico and Texas.
He's two for two.
Where was he in Texas?
Anybody know?
Amarillo.
Amarillo.
Looks like they went to a good dinner last night Good steak
What would be the coolest headgear
You can get like a yarmulke
A yarmulke would be cool
I'd like to see a bike helmet
Purple top hat
Justin Jefferson's Viking helmet
You should do that
What's that thing going on in the desert right now? Burning Man Vikings helmet. Justin Jefferson's Vikings helmet. Yeah. You should do that. Yeah, that'd be sick. You should have to get
Oh, what's that thing
going on in the desert
right now?
Burning Man?
We should make him
go get a Burning Man
like steampunk mega.
Yeah.
I want him to get
like a headpiece
off of a chieftain.
Yeah.
On a reservation.
Hey, hello.
How the fuck
did you get Maryland?
That's shocking.
You got the exact location.
I've been to both of those places.
Yeah, but...
What are the odds of that happening?
What Che doesn't get is a lot of places look the same.
That wasn't...
But it just keeps working out for him.
Yeah, like you being there is completely irrelevant.
Oh.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey!
Where are you guys? Woo! Hey. Where are you guys?
Where are you guys?
We are en route to Oklahoma.
Okay.
We're probably about 40 minutes from Oklahoma.
We're heading to Oklahoma City.
We had a wild exchange in Amarillo, but we made it out with a head wrap,
a purple head wrap.
So once you hit Oklahoma, where's next?
You guys going to go Kansas, Missouri?
No, I think the next stop is going to be Arkansas.
Oh, okay.
I like that.
I don't know if we'll hit Arkansas tonight.
It depends how much we do in Oklahoma City.
I'm fasting them.
I want to be out of the world by 10 a.m.
We didn't leave until about noon, unfortunately.
So if we're really lucky in Oklahoma City,
hopefully we can quit and get to Arkansas by the end of the night.
I don't know.
Are you having fun?
Yeah, we kind of are.
It hasn't been like – it was frustrating not being able to get a hat in Texas.
Like, that was frustrating. But able to get a hat in Texas like that was frustrating
But Jacob has been great
He's like a perfect like sidekick you were worried he wouldn't be focused? He wrote a nice blog this morning, or last night.
It got posted this morning about the trip.
I would say he does a good job keeping it on time.
I would say this has gone better than I would have thought.
Well, you're almost a quarter of the way there.
Yeah, 22% of the way there.
But yeah, we the way there. Yeah, 22% of the way there. Yes.
But yeah, I mean, we're getting there.
I think Oklahoma City would be better than Amarillo,
which is hard because there's only 200,000 people in the city
and there's nothing around.
That's plenty of people.
That's a lot of people.
That's a lot of people.
It's a big city.
It is a lot, but the problem is there's no, like,
if you find it there, you're fucked.
So, like, getting it there was huge.
We had talks about abandoning Texas.
Whoa.
Because we would have had to go, like, five hours to Fort Worth.
That would have put us way out of the range.
You've got to be back by Friday.
So, yeah, I think we're doing all right.
Oklahoma, I mean, I'm very confident we're going to nail Oklahoma tonight.
Yeah, that would be huge.
Get Oklahoma and then Arkansas. Yes, that would be huge. Get Oklahoma and then Arkansas.
Yes, that's the plan.
How are you guys doing?
We're great.
I'm loving your journey.
Yeah, Jacob, how do you think things are going?
I think the journey is electric.
I'm having a great time out on the plains.
Fantastic stuff.
Okay.
Thank you, boys.
Got donuts this morning.
They were really good.
Jeffy Lowe suggested a donut place.
Oh, all right.
Nice, nice.
The donuts stopped.
We went to the Big Texan yesterday for dinner.
We split a porterhouse.
We're having a good time.
Love it.
Love it.
I did not do the 72-ounce steak challenge.
No, we didn't do that.
Okay.
All right, well, get back out there.
Yeah, yeah.
Keep doing what you're doing, boys.
All right, we'll see you on Friday.
Keep chasing that high.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Oh, that's God's country.
Lovely.
Che, where do you think they are?
Show out the window one time.
Show the other side.
He told you where they
oh big cloud so pretty high elevation um
no are they they said it were you not paying attention to no i wasn't no i was i was cutting
something up um Something big.
I don't know the general area there.
I'm trying to decipher if it's Texas or Oklahoma.
I think it's Oklahoma.
Are you guys in Oklahoma?
Where are you?
We're in Texas.
Damn.
We're back.
Thanks, guys.
He doesn't have a friend who lives there.
I was in Texas once or twice
but it was night time both times.
You weren't there.
Twice at night.
What?
The sun never just come up?
You got there at night and left at night?
Twice? The most recent
time. Got there at night. Left in the morning before
as the sun was coming up so you really couldn't see much.
And then...
What did you do there?
Crash.
It was with Jenks and Frank and Mikey Batson.
Wait, so you drove through Texas?
Right.
Barely.
You had to have been there in the daylight.
Barely.
Okay.
And the other time?
Went there, 2014, night of the Oscars.
Very cold.
Very dark.
Left in the morning.
So you only went for the Oscars?
No, I just remember the Oscars were that night.
Very dark, very cold.
But what were you doing in Texas?
Road trip.
You are Rain Man.
Did he get another one?
No.
No, he didn't get the one that Clemmer and Jacob did live,
even though they said they were in Texas.
What did he guess?
Oklahoma.
And then he said that he's been to Texas twice, but both times at night.
That's not crazy.
Only.
That is crazy.
Yeah, no, that's crazy.
That's very crazy.
The entirety of your stay.
If you're there for a night, you're there for some of the day, too.
That's actually really rare.
Yeah.
Have you done that with any other states?
I'm like, sunset's late there, right?
Yeah.
No.
I was in Minnesota this week, but for an afternoon, that's it.
Hey, by the way, about that, did you leave the airport just to go to the Vikings facility?
Yes.
Did you make your flight so that you could have time
to go to the Vikings facility?
No, but it did work out really well.
Sounds like you did it.
Out of where we were flying from,
they only fly to Minneapolis.
Okay.
So I had a couple-hour layover, but, yeah, it was very convenient.
It was super fun.
And you know someone in the Vikings facility?
Yes, their equipment manager.
Love that.
Yeah.
I got to see their laundry room.
It's crazy.
What are they doing there?
This motherfucker.
A lot of laundry.
He just gets excited about the most mundane thing. It's pretty cool, and you see behind the curtain stuff.
That was the most surprising thing.
His whole life is just like, you could show him a rock, a pine cone.
Yeah.
And he's like, holy shit, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life.
I mean, if it's the biggest pine cone you've ever seen.
He brought a napkin back.
Yeah, everything.
It's huge.
Everything Che looks at blows his mind.
It's a good way to live.
Think about that.
His dental insurance company on the side of the highway.
Yeah.
That was wild, yeah.
It's just every little thing that happens in his life, he's like, that's the coolest thing ever.
But when Schefter wants to do a podcast and it can't happen, he's like, oh, well, not that big of a deal.
All right.
He just looked at the glass half full.
What did I?
It's, I don't know.
It's crazy that I have known you for so long and I'm still finding things out about you that shock me.
I think it's more than that.
I think when he sees a half full glass, he sees the glass as full.
As fully full. Correct. If there's even a drop of water in it, it's full than that. I think when he sees a half full glass, he sees the glass as full. As fully full.
Correct.
If there's even a drop of water in it, it's full.
It's overflowing.
Yeah.
It's fair.
Look at that.
Oh, my God.
Every trip.
Che, go back to that.
That's a real post-op photo of you.
Maybe post-op photo of you. What do you mean post-op?
That's just like a few rounds of HRT photo.
What's HRT?
It doesn't matter.
Never mind.
You look like your lenses.
Oh, man.
That was an earlier time.
Better days.
All photos are, but...
Oh, Jesus.
Happy 11th anniversary.
We beat Candy Crush.
We had a great run.
It was simply too fast for your developers.
It's facts.
Shout out. Is that... Oh, man. early 20s where where is that photo is that like that life stadium the guns and roses concert uh is that a steelers giants preseason game
why were you wearing that why were you at a Steelers-Giants preseason game?
Nothing makes sense, man.
And why were you happy?
Because I'm at a football game.
So you were wearing that for Troy Polamalu?
Yes, my girlfriend
at the time worked
something with
Head & Shoulders
and he was a client
and then passed out
those wigs
and I just wore it
the entire game.
Head & Shoulders girl?
She was on the account or something like that.
Oh, my God.
Good time.
Wore it for four hours.
Cool.
The length of the game.
Yeah.
I think I wore it on the trip home, too.
It's cool to have long hair.
He just keeps winning.
It's unbelievable.
There's nothing you can do about it.
It's just an unstoppable force.
And he just, everyone he sees, he just rolls up.
God damn it.
I'm getting surgery on my penis on Thursday.
What is going on?
What is going on?
Hall of Fame.
This is an all-time Che episode.
What is going on out here?
I'm getting a vasectomy.
He's, uh...
I didn't have my headphones on.
What's going on?
How does he keep doing it?
You could probably guess.
It's normal stuff.
Normal stuff?
Big surgery on my penis on Thursday.
Non-stop.
Doing no huddle podcast.
We're gassed.
We're looking for the opposite.
We need a timeout.
We can't get our fucking starters off the field. And we're gassed. We're looking for the opposite. We need a timeout. We can't get our fucking starters off the field, and we need.
This is the Wilt Chamberlain episode.
He's got the numbers.
Would someone Photoshop his face?
Are you nervous about the vasectomy?
Not really.
What if cumming doesn't feel as good?
Oh.
I think cumming always feels good. But you don't feel as good? Oh. I think coming always feels good.
But you don't know.
You don't know that.
What about vasectomy?
I mean, there's pretty tried and true proof.
Thousands of, probably millions of patients over the years.
Yeah.
You talk to them all?
I talk to a bunch.
Okay.
At what point in the convo do you find out they had a vasectomy?
Oh, I mean, I know most people in here that have had it and I've talked to them.
And you've talked to them about their coming?
About their penises, yes.
How long do you have to go?
Wait, who have you talked to about their penises here?
I don't want to out them.
Pete, you talked to Pete.
No, more than just Pete.
But you did talk to Pete about your penis.
Yep.
I almost texted him this week and asked him about his penis.
Why didn't you?
How the procedure affects your penis?
Get Pete on Zoom.
I want you to talk to Pete about your penis.
The question was about something that I'm not sure is supposed to be...
No, save it.
Hold on, let me ask.
So the penis talk was unrelated to the vasectomy.
Oh, my God.
He's just going around the office talking to guys about their penises.
Yeah.
And it's totally normal.
Che, how long do you have to go without busting?
No, you're supposed to 40 to 60 ejects before you're fully good.
40 to 60?
What?
That's the rest of my life.
So you're just going to be jerking off?
Wait, wait. Your boy's going to be jerking off? Wait, wait.
Your boy's going to be going crazy in September.
Wait, Che, can you just start tweeting out numbers?
Yeah, yeah.
One.
Or no, can we have a – yeah.
Yeah, just tweet out numbers for the rest of September.
Because I just want to see the time.
I want to see what times, you know,
except what happens if we get one during the day.
Yeah, like I just dap him up and then I say.
He said, I'm working.
Is this an emergency?
Yes, it's an emergency.
Bucks touchdown.
Yeah.
35.
Well, yeah, with football season coming up,
how many do you eject more or less during football?
Far less.
Yeah.
And is it going to progressively dwindle in size?
Like it's going to get down to like a teaspoon of ejaculate?
No.
Is there a time range?
It just stops?
Like you have to get 60 within a month or?
It's your time frame, but I mean, I'm going to speed this thing up.
We need a counter.
Are you excited to hang it up?
Yeah, I mean I guess I'm not really
Dreading it or anything like that
It'll be cool
Yeah
You can always reverse it
Snip snap
I think that might be a myth
Really?
I wouldn't rule out me beating it, but...
Beating it?
You're going to beat the vasectomy.
Vasectomy survivor.
You think you're one in the million?
You don't?
No.
Oh my god.
I don't.
We'll see.
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that's the farmers dog.com slash yak do we have peter nope is he did he respond when he said
emergency he did not i'll text him saying it's an emergency
i'm just hanging on for good life this episode.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Why?
I'm just following the adventures of Che, and I love it.
I mean, it's crazy.
He's just throwing a perfect game out there.
He is.
Has the doctor seen your penis yet?
Yes.
Did you give him, like, a warning?
Hard or soft?
Soft.
Very soft.
Okay.
Very soft.
Yeah, it was on a Monday morning, and he started off and gripped my balls for like a full minute.
He gripped your balls for a minute?
A full minute, Steve.
Gripped?
Was he giving eye contact when he was gripping?
He was explaining what it would feel like.
Oh, my God.
This is what it would feel like if I grip your balls.
He was explaining what it felt like, and then after he was like, I didn't actually have
to grip your balls.
I did talk to people and they said that that didn't happen to them, so.
You got molested.
Yeah, you did, dude.
A minute is crazy.
A minute is nuts.
That was a Monday morning a couple weeks ago.
That was a tough start to a week.
A ball gripping for a minute.
Yeah.
You're sure it was your doctor?
I am sure.
I feel like you do that enough, though,
you just kind of forget that you're even gripping balls
when you're talking to somebody.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I need to get a physical at some point
because I haven't gone for, like, 10, 15 years.
Last time, what?
That's crazy long.
Why?
Are you saying like a general consultation appointment in general would spend 15 years?
Yeah, probably.
10?
I haven't been to the doctor since I started working here.
Just do the CVS wristband thing.
The cuff, the blood pressure cuff.
Yeah, just do the cuff.
Fine.
But they, last time I went, they did all the checks and then they're like all right we're
gonna check your private parts can you change and i didn't realize there was a gown sitting
on the chair i just got naked came back in and they were like what you were sitting nude yeah
they said change not i didn't realize there was a gown right there, so I just got naked.
I would have kept my underwear on.
It was so bad.
Were your legs crossed?
No, I was just standing there.
Oh, God.
What a jump scare.
It was so bad, so I might never go back.
Brutal.
I just remember just the most embarrassment you can possibly feel.
Because they were like, oh, oh whoops and then they closed the
door and i was like oh fuck it was a team of two no it was a doctor it's a doctor but i was just
oh my god that's yeah more you can't yeah yeah you can't do anything so i may never go back
they probably see it all yeah they probably do grip balls
one minute ball grip
those guys had like a side bet
how long can I grip this guy's nuts before
where Che taps out
all business feet
okay okay oh Pete
Pete
hello Pete
where are you
what type of shit is this
where the hell are you?
One of the Harry Potter paintings.
He's right out front of a fucking Gryffindor.
Why is everything so blurry?
It's a blurred background.
It's a Zoom meeting.
All right, well, this is an emergency.
Steven is getting surgery on his penis on Thursday.
Yeah, what a lucky guy.
It's a great day in every dad's life.
Let me ask you this question before Steven.
Steven has some questions he needs to ask you.
When you went in for your consultation, did they grip your balls at any point?
I don't recall, for being honest.
It seems like something you'd remember.
You would remember if they gripped your balls.
No, it's a doctor.
It's a doctor.
Doctors check that stuff
It would have been unremarkable
Would you remember if they had gripped your balls
For a minute
Probably
Steven Chey got his balls gripped for a minute
Just motion or still
Still
That's crazy, dude.
Still?
Just holding, just holding, eye contact
or no? Simulating pressure.
You got
molested.
Yeah, you've been assaulted.
Yeah. Alright, so
Steven, go ahead with your questions. Can I say
what's happening next Thursday
or Wednesday? Yeah. Okay. Can I say what's happening next Thursday or Wednesday?
Yeah.
Okay.
So I was going to text you this week about your penis to see.
Are you talking about me?
Yeah, because you've gotten this done before.
Because I'm going to have to catch punts less than a week after.
Is that okay?
Well, yeah.
It's not surgery on your penis.
I mean the penis area.
Penis area.
It's on your balls, right?
No, it's not the balls either.
Where is it?
It's the vas deferens.
It's the big, thick, fucking...
Oh, it's the veiny thing that
we all think.
It's on your balls, on your testicles.
No, it's on the side.
It's not part of the testicles, but it's okay.
Okay.
It's in this ball sack.
Mine is.
They do have to cut the ball sack open, yeah.
Oh.
All right, so, Stephen, go ahead with your questions.
Is it safe to field punts six days after that?
Six days after?
Yeah.
Tough. punts uh six days after that six days after yeah tough to answer or doctor i shouldn't do this yeah i'm not a doctor uh i i don't know if i i don't know i maybe you'll be okay but that doesn't might not be worth it yeah you should consult an
actual medical doctor but i
don't know did you have to have 60 nuts afterwards before you were all cleared out i think they say
30 30 nuts oh like i said 40 but you do have to yeah you do all right yeah again not a doctor
but you do have to clear them out but your guy's a pervert steven we've established that yeah he's gonna he's just make sure he doesn't say he has
to watch all 60 yeah so you cleared you cleared you you went 30 how long did it take you
uh i don't recall he i feel like he's he's in front of like he's doing kind of stallions right
now congressional meeting right now yeah i recall did it take you years or months? Are you still working on your 30?
Months.
Less than a year.
No, we're all clear.
Now, how many of them were by your own hand?
I don't recall.
He doesn't want the kids at Hogwarts to hear.
If you impregnated somebody with the last nut, would that kid come out a little weird?
I don't think so.
I think it would just be normal.
Okay.
How fast do you think Stephen said he's going to attack this task?
How fast do you think he should eject?
Whatever feels right, I think.
Every man's got to decide that on his own.
Were you nervous the first bust post?
No.
Okay.
Was it dust that came out?
It's not dust.
It's normal.
It's, you know, unremarkable.
Was it a thick rope?
Don't recall.
That's something you'd remember.
It definitely wasn't a thick rope.
It was a little putty
it was a little fucking drip
it was like a fucking
maple syrup tree
curd of cottage cheese
yeah dropping a little cottage cheese
off your spoon
it blurred
um Steven do you have any other questions no that was just about the puns That looks like a spoon. It blurred. It blurred. It's going to be put back up.
Steven, do you have any other questions?
No, that was just about the punts.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, you should definitely check with an actual medical doctor on that.
I'm happy you asked Pete that. Pete, do you have a nut scar?
No.
Wait, so Pete, are you saying that after you got your penis surgery,
Not penis, but. You didn't field punts?
No, not six days after.
Okay.
How many days after did you start fielding punts again?
My next punt will be my first.
Okay.
Okay.
So you don't even know if you're in the clear to field punts.
Yeah.
Wow. I can field a punt. My dick would fall off.
We don't know.
Okay.
Thank you, Pete.
Would you agree this was an emergency?
No, I would not.
Okay.
Well, we'll have to work on what an emergency means then.
Yep.
Okay.
Bye, Pete.
It's almost time for you to get your schedule down.
No, dude.
I'm pulling out.
Yeah.
Well, no.
You don't need surgery.
Get it done.
If I had an accidental fourth kid, it wouldn't be the worst.
No.
Sounds awful.
All right.
Okay.
You only have two.
Yeah.
Pussy.
You're not a real man.
You quit after two.
There has to be a WOD difference post whether it's color what happens right does it
just we don't know that does it hit that knotted where does it go all right steven would it be too
much to ask you to journal this for us uh like in a blog or an actual writing blog? A blog. But you could write it and then you could read it back to us.
Actually, I want you to put it out as an independent podcast.
Like one episode you describe it.
I will document some of this for sure.
Okay.
I'm just glad women don't have to go through anything like this.
That sounds terrible.
It seems like a lot. It's tough for us. God sure. Okay. I'm just glad women don't have to go through anything like this. That sounds terrible. It seems like a lot.
It's tough for us.
That was a good throw.
What's up, Brandon?
Are there things that can go bad, Steve?
Yes.
Yes, but odds are lower than getting struck by lightning.
I have a friend who had it go bad.
Martha Stewart's been struck three times.
And it's still bad.
Martha Stewart's been struck by lightning three times.
God damn.
That's true?
I think.
Once she was doing dishes.
Came in through the window.
Oh my God.
Huh.
That bitch could be lying, though.
Probably.
Her attention. She's a criminal. Yes. She's well. Steven, I have a friend who had it very bad. huh that bitch could be lying though probably for attention
she's a criminal
yes
well
Steven I have a friend
who had
it went very bad
he still has nerve damage
oh
yeah you'll probably be fine
though Steven
only happens like twice a year
yeah
I'm not too worried
the guy tried to catch punts
right after
hmm
I'll be damned
yeah so I'll be out
Thursday and Friday
three times
well look at all those metal pots and pans.
That was just...
How do you survive that?
That was just a ricochet shot.
She didn't get struck by lightning.
First time she was leaning against an iron sink
where the lightning caught onto a pipe in her garden outside.
That's not really...
That's not getting struck by lightning.
That's not.
That's bullshit.
That's shrapnel.
That's secondhand lightning strike.
You guys are gatekeeping lightning strike.
Okay, well, let's see.
Another time it came through a skylight in her house.
That one probably sucks.
That's funny.
That's hilarious.
That's camp.
That couldn't have happened.
That's cartoonish.
She's living Final Destination 2.
Is that her?
Yeah.
Dude, she's a smoke.
What was the third time?
I guess we're just assuming it's going to happen.
Has it only been twice?
Third.
Oh, we don't know the third time?
Well, you could have asked her why you had her.
I'm giving her one and a half.
It's the smallest kitchen island I've ever seen.
Well, it's a chop block.
Huh. Hmm. She's a chop block. Huh.
Hmm.
She's a baddie.
Certified baddie.
Yeah.
Is she married?
I don't think so.
Certified baddie.
You think Snoop Dogg has fucked her?
I think
light foreplay.
Wait.
I actually think
Martha Stewart's
fucked Snoop Dogg.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Other way around.
Divorced 1990.
Damn, 1961?
She kept his last name.
Never got remarried.
83.
Still a baddie.
She's a good 83.
She's 80.
And beautiful signature.
Oh, that is a nice signature
it's good M
you're absolutely right
hey what Mikey Betts got banned from boxing
what
yeah I was in the cave earlier he said he got an email from the
whatever boxing federation said he
suspended indefinitely
because of the fight
for what
yeah I guess because of the fight
got banned from boxing for boxing?
Yeah.
Are the Abel brothers allowed?
I would assume they got probably banned as well.
But they retired as well, right?
Yeah, they did.
Che, what else?
I mean, you're just...
I don't know. Throw another geocaster. Yeah, do another geocaster, you're just... I don't know.
Throw another geoguessr.
Yeah, do another geoguessr.
Let's just see if you stay hot.
If you get this one, we might have to fucking burn you.
This is going to be tough.
Okay.
I mean, this is not a good situation.
For the people living there or you?
Both.
It's also too blurry.
Brando, is this Mississippi?
You know what, Shay?
It might be.
It might be.
Kind of looks like it.
Pickup truck?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Everything looks Mississippi.
The shed, yeah.
The shed. I've never everything looks Mississippi. The shed, yeah. The shed.
I've never been to Mississippi.
Ah, the tree's not good for Mississippi.
Ten seconds.
No rush, really, from you.
Yeah, I'll go Mississippi.
It's got to be somewhere in the south, I think.
That was a north tree.
Oh!
Wow.
North tree.
Pretty good, though.
He says to the geoguessor, that's fair, that's fair.
What do you mean, that's fair?
Oh.
What does that mean, that's fair, to the geoguessor?
This is upstate New York.
What?
Sini Mountains?
This could be a lot of places, but this,
fully,
oh,
oh,
oh.
What?
What's happening?
It's changing seasons.
Why are they doing that?
How am I supposed to get a read on this shit?
You're right.
Now GeoGuessr is being unfair.
Now,
well now,
this,
I don't know what this is.
10 seconds.
Same place.
I think it...
The original foliage looked to me like upstate New York,
kind of on the way to, like, the Hampton Valley
or whatever that's called.
Hudson Valley.
Ah.
Oh.
Good old West Virginia.
Fair.
Was that fair?
I guess.
Oh, this is a neighborhood you should know.
Ooh.
Oh, we got a little wall
here. Yes, we do.
Yup.
That will tell you everything.
Undeniable wall.
Yup.
The fascinating
part about it is he just picks out
the most random things.
I want to say it's Massachusetts, but I feel like there'd be a little bit,
something would be a little bit different.
Yeah.
The wall?
Columbia and Ellen.
It's like growing up in Mattress.
These streets are not well maintained.
When you got the answer, but you weren't able to explain how.
Yeah, right, right.
And this type of tree.
Couldn't show your work.
I think this is Massachusetts again.
All right.
He's getting a little exposed, I think.
Oh!
Was that fair?
Was that fair?
That was fair.
That was fair.
Okay.
GG, GG.
Oh, God.
Oh, boy.
Mountains?
Boy.
So, I mean, it's got's gotta be southwest I would think.
What kind of shrubbery we got here?
We got any cacti? Maybe we can give some hints about elevation?
What's that? That's the shadow of the Google truck.
I mean there's no cars at all.
So this is a road less traveled
is that Robert Frost or Walt Whitman
I feel like this is like
New Mexico-ish
this could be like
West Texas this could be New Mexico
I think it's New Mexico kind of on the way
to the Grand Canyon but like a far ways out
Wyoming shit I think it's New Mexico kind of on the way to the Grand Canyon, but like a far ways out.
Wyoming.
Never been there.
Shit.
So close.
Oh.
Oh.
This is US only, right?
Yes.
Oh, shit. I like this.
What?
This is Amsterdam.
Yeah, you're right.
No, he's talking about from the wire.
He's saying Amsterdam from the wire.
Yeah.
You might be right.
He could be.
Don't sleep on North Philly.
Maryland.
I think we're DC, but I'm pretty sure Amsterdam was Maryland.
Let me just check around.
The wire was in Baltimore.
Amsterdam was in Baltimore.
It was?
Okay.
I mean, it looks just like it.
Let's see what a real road looks like.
A real road.
Eight seconds.
Great one.
Got to get in.
Got to get in.
Zero rush.
Zero urgency.
There we go.
Got it.
Baltimore right there.
He's good at this game.
Really good.
It's crazy.
He's either stayed off or directly on it.
I just love him saying that's fair to the GOP.
I don't understand that.
Man.
Kill this one.
Do the high noon read?
A what?
High noon average.
Brandon, did you get your car fixed?
Oh, no.
Wait, I'll go through this.
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Here you go.
Safe Flight came out to the house.
Okay.
They did exactly what they said they would do.
They changed out my windshield.
I no longer have a cracked windshield.
I have a brand-new, fresh windshield.
All right.
They gave me a very fair price uh i want to say that that so far so good on the safe flight service
since they left my house i've cranked my jeep twice the display screen will no longer turn on
i have no radio no display screen none of the electronics turn on uh i now uh my speedometer is
now in kilometers and no longer in miles i was driving 150 kilometers an hour to work this
morning did they give you a european windshield i don't know but i don't i don't know that i can
blame it on safe flight however it was not like it is different now than it was before they put
my windshield in. I drove.
First of all, it took me two hours to get to work today.
I left at 630.
I got here at 825.
And I had no radio the whole way.
Oh, my God.
Is the windshield interconnected with the dashboard tech?
It is because it has sensors on it and camera stuff.
So what's weird about it,yle is when i back up the screen shows me my
camera to back up and as soon as i put it in drive and it goes forward the screen goes black again
so i i can't get to any of my electronics any anything like that so they they gave you a boot
leg somebody completely fucked up my my electric i would rather have a crack windshield and a radio and, and, uh, miles per hour instead
of kilometers per hour.
Definitely.
Grass is always greener.
No, no.
I, I.
Right, Danny.
Safe flight did do what I, what I asked him to do.
I asked him to replace my windshield, but they, they gave me new problems.
He's got to learn European.
Kilometers is not that big of a deal.
I would like to hear, you know know it's tuesdays i want to
hear my podcast did you talk to them i haven't called them yet i feel stupid like hey you fixed
my windshield but you broke my screen no we didn't oh okay and that's that's where i'll be
how was the scratch there was no scratch they had to get a new windshield no your wife
oh i didn't notice it okay didn't even i didn't think about it until you just said that right now There was no scratch. They had to get a new windshield. No, your wife.
Oh, I didn't notice it.
Okay.
I didn't even think about it until you just said that right now.
So I'll go look in a minute.
So your car's European?
My car's European with no radio.
I'm going to drive home today with no... With quiet.
Yeah, with quiet.
Did you listen...
Like, did you turn on a podcast of headphones?
I turned it on my phone in the passenger seat
and i could barely hear it i there was a podcast about keith hernandez and i can hear like every
third word oh no yeah this is devastating yeah which part of that's on the 1988 tops guy y'all
gotta talk i gotta speak up just in case people don't have a radio chad is suggesting that your
car is in maintenance mode and you can hold the power button for 20 seconds to reset out of maintenance.
What power mode?
What power button?
I don't know.
The radio power button probably.
But there is a screen.
There is no button.
You don't have a single physical button?
All right.
Who wants to go with me?
I am.
I want to see this.
Go live.
All right.
Send me the link.
You guys like my... Your shoes?
My rigorers?
What the hell are those?
These are my rigorers, dude.
These are my Austin Reeves slides.
He's sponsored by this Chinese company.
And these are the rigorer Shark 2 Olympic version.
He let me wear them earlier, and it's like wearing Nickelodeon moon bouncers.
They're wider than they're long.
Would you like to try them
on your foot?
I highly recommend.
They're $35.
Yeah, I got the slides.
I hate asking this.
Who is Austin Reeves?
He plays for the Lakers.
Okay.
There he is.
Oh, wow.
That's not...
Yeah.
I was picturing.
What were you picturing not that guy yeah
i don't know he looks like he plays he doesn't look like hey
can't hear you oh he's in european road hey yeah
i wonder if brandon cleaned out his car for safe light he He had a pork toast. Wait, am I frozen? No, you're good.
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on.
Hold on, what?
Hold on.
Oh, my God, it's hot.
All right, so I'm going to turn it on.
Don't drop my car.
That's subway.
There was an entire pork chop in there once.
All right, stop.
All right, all right.
Now, hold it.
Hold what?
Now, let me do it. Get out. Get out. No, not the car. Run to the whole car. Yes, I'll show you chop in there once. All right, stop. All right. Now hold it. Hold what? Now let me do it.
Get out.
Get out.
No, not the power run to the whole car.
Yes, I'll show you.
No.
No.
Get out.
Hold the phone and get out.
Stop showing my car.
I work out.
I have a lot of.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop but with a car. Okay. No, it's not, is it?
Wait, Kyle, are the smoothies that I drink too many calories?
What are you drinking?
No, not that.
You're holding that? No, not that.
Hmm.
For the podcast listeners, Brandon's car is messy it's not messy
it ain't clean yeah if someone was in the passenger
trash would be up to their ankle nothing happened tj what's chat saying
you're holding that one for 20 seconds? Chad said, can't believe you fell for it.
Yeah, that's self-destruct.
That's the eject button.
Oh, no.
Self-destruct.
Nothing's happening.
They're lying to us.
Nothing's happening.
Oh, oh, oh.
Car works.
Yes.
Get out.
Get out.
Thank him.
It's still my car.
I got to switch. It's a whole bunch of words
it might be Big Head's car now
they were right
no stop
stop
fucking stop
there's something new
every time he flashes over
driving
it's like an iSpy book
something's loading
oh
oh
happy meal
Brandon's happy meals
a lot of clothes
I have kids I clothes oh we're back
we're back
is it good
yep
shout out chat
alright
hey look for the scratch
do you think he had them work on the windshield
while all that trash was still in there
like you gotta clean the house
before the maid comes over
not Brandon not Brandon in there? You gotta clean the house before the maid comes over.
Not Brandon.
Not Brandon.
Poor guy just rummaging through Happy Meal wrappers,
empty Gatorades.
Is it etiquette to clean the house before the maid
or cleaning service comes?
Your mom would always be like,
can you clean up your room before the maid comes?
Mom, that's counterproductive.
They don't want to get judged by the maid.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh, they've seen it all.
I did.
After I had my second baby, I had cleaners come.
I got a little overwhelmed with stuff.
And I was like a nightmare.
You couldn't ask Pat before they got there.
I was like, we have to.
I was like bleaching.
I was like cleaning shit before they got there.
They have to see some of the worst of the worst.
Brandon, congrats, bud.
Are these too caloric?
I didn't say that.
This is like Regina George finding out she's eating Calteam bars.
There were a pile of calories.
That was just like, you know.
We were talking about the other ten different fast food.
Well, I have kids.
I don't eat the fast food.
There's no odor in your car.
No, it's fine. It's clean.
No.
There's a layer of a couple bottles. It was fine.
Only one layer, guys.
Are any of you guys messy car guys?
Don't have a car. I'm a messy car guy.
I would be. If I had one, it would be.
I just keep a bag.
My car's not disgusting.
One time you rode me home over there was a pork chop in
there but last time not exactly last week great it was great sometimes there's a pork chop i clean
it like once a week that's huge it's fixed yeah thank you thank you chat yeah chat that was all
the chat yeah they came through that would have been a hellish drive back there was an awful ride
down i was nervous when i didn't see you walking this morning
when I got here.
Yeah, got here at fucking,
it took me two hours to get here.
I'm going to have to start leaving earlier.
Left at 630.
Oh, man.
It's worth it for that backyard, though.
It really is.
And that boat.
Can't find yards in Chicago.
My buddy Art.
How's Art?
He's good.
We're going to go up
to Mater's soon.
He's a bald motherfucker.
Yeah, he is.
He is.
I had optics on him.
Yeah, he's a good guy.
All right.
He's okay.
Should we spin the wheel?
Yeah.
I mean, this has just been Che.
It's Che.
Yeah, Che decides.
Backyard has me thinking
about Jerry O'Connell again.
It's a lot of Yeah, Che decides. Backyard has me thinking about Jerry O'Connell again. It's a lot of yard.
All right.
Dry.
Bang.
All right, team.
All right, we'll see everyone tomorrow.
Monopoly tonight.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jerry After Dark tonight.
Kyle, myself, and Nick, and Jerry were playing Life Size Monopoly.
Should I learn the basics
of Monopoly? You don't know the basics of Monopoly?
I feel like I would easily. You definitely
know the basics of Monopoly. You just get on
this piece and
buy it. Yeah.
I think that's the only strategy.
What was that?
Couldn't have said it better myself.
What was that? That was have said it better myself. What was that?
That was me saying I don't know.
I guess none of us know.
Receive an unknown prize.
Russie.
Let's see.
Russie prize.
Russie prize.
We got a Russie prize?
Is that a brand?
Russell Wilson.
Oh, shit. Jerry's gone with Russie and Jussie now. a Russie Prize? Is that a brand? Russell Wilson Oh shit
Jerry's gone with
Russie and Jussie now
I like that
That works perfectly
Yeah
I'll be there eating
25 meatballs in the background
Is that okay?
It's his header
Oh my god
Russie Rider
I used to smoke crack
Nice Five years Nine years Wow Rusty Ryder I used to smoke crack I used to
I used to
I've been
Nine years
Wow
Alright we'll see everyone tomorrow
Alright
Please subscribe It's the act. It's your straw hat, the act style, and tape for a while.
It's the act.
It's the act.
It's the act.
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
or do a Yankee swap.
It's the act.
It's the action