The Yak - Steven's Grilling at Camp Barstool Day One | The Yak 8-20-24
Episode Date: August 20, 2024Cheah and WSD draft their Camp Barstool teamsYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.l...ink/barstoolyak
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We're in summer camp.
We're in summer camp.
We're at summer camp.
Look at you. Kyle, you're down. Kyle. You're out the water. We're at summer camp. Look at you. Kyle, you're out the water.
You are?
I've been having a time.
You guys have been working.
Dude, this place is awesome.
It is.
It really is.
We are living the summer camp dream.
How's everyone?
Vibe check on everyone from first night.
We slept in bunks.
Rudy smells like shit.
Oh.
Constantly.
There's just a constant fart
eking from his loose ass.
Wait, so he's like a leaky tire
bicycle? It's horrible.
And they're not good.
You know, there's like a fart and you're like, oh.
It was like
an aged turd.
It's medical.
This morning we all woke up cold. Rudy woke up butt naked sweating with a boner. Oh, yeah. It's medical. This morning, we all woke up cold.
Rudy woke up butt-naked, sweating, with a boner.
Oh.
What?
It was crazy.
It does sound about right.
Hey, you guys want to come on the act?
The woods are right there.
Taylor and Will are inseparable.
They are inseparable.
Here's the thing.
It's a little much.
There's just a lot of anxiety going on,
and it's one of those situations where I think my entire career as a prankster
has led us to this point, and the prank is there's no prank.
I know.
It's your best work yet.
I'm, like, finally starting to feel relieved.
This is just a fun time.
A good thing is happening to us.
Come on.
A good thing is happening to us and nobody can enjoy it.
The entire ride up here was us wondering what the flip would be.
What's the twist?
It's going to be Hunger Games.
It's going to be Squid Games.
We're going to be hunting each other.
And in reality, it's that we have a wonderful sponsor, Mountain Dew,
and they're like, this will be really cool content,
and let's go have some fun at summer camp.
Yeah.
I do have one twist, I guess,
I should announce.
There's Wonton Don naked.
Oh, yep, he's naked.
I do have one twist.
So what we're going to do, we're going to do about an hour and a half
of yak. At 1245, we're going
to pick the
teams. Stephen Shea and White Sox
Dave are our captains.
Brandon Walker's going to be announcing.
Brandon Walker has retired from athletic anything.
Smart move on his part.
As soon as I told him he was announcing, then I saw it in his eye, that glimmer,
where he's like, I want to compete.
Why won't you let me compete, though?
It was a matter of two seconds.
Two seconds.
He's been asking me, like, I want to announce, I want to announce.
And then I finally got him announcing, and he just immediately was like,
you're trying to stop me from competing?
Yeah, why are you trying to hold me back?
So the one twist is we do actually have a cash prize.
So 12K to the winning team.
Whoa.
It'll be teams of 12.
Two teams.
It's a grand.
12K, yeah.
I'll take it.
You didn't tell me that.
Well, it just happened. That's the twist. It didn't just a grand. 12K. Yeah. I'll take it. You didn't tell me that. Well, it just happened.
That's the twist.
It didn't just happen.
The twist is even better.
I mean, Brandon, you could buy half of the TV you got for free.
That's true.
I could.
That's pretty sick.
So, and it will be also the other part of the twist.
Really?
Which, again, this is not even a twist.
It's a lame twist.
The captains will get 2K.
So, Stephen Shea and White Sox team.
Oh, look, Stephen just fist-balled.
He's acting like he already won.
Stephen's eating a bowl right now of just tuna and avocados and onions.
What is that about?
Awful, awful.
Was that provided by the facility?
Yeah, it was provided by the facilities.
Well, good for them, but, yeah, I've been fasting.
Oh, really?
You didn't want to mention it.
You said you weren't going to try to eat this week.
There's no way to say I've been fasting.
Fasting in the woods is better than horrible sex.
Really?
Wow.
What about mid-sex?
It's about the same.
It's good.
Okay.
What about...
What percentage of your romps have been horrible?
I don't know, but... What about an awesome show? romps have been horrible? I don't know but
What about an awesome show?
It's a good feeling
Binging an awesome show
It's worse than that, much worse
It's not that good but it's
I'm more social when I'm hungry
Yeah, your brain starts firing
Are you okay Brandon?
Why don't you switch?
To where, there?
But I belong between you and Nick
That's true KB says he's more social when he's hungry Are you okay by any chance? Yeah, I'm good. Why don't you switch? To where, there? Yeah. But I belong between you and Nick.
That's true.
That's where I belong.
KB says he's more social when he's hungry,
but I went for a walk in the woods this morning
and I was pretty far back there
and the only person I stumbled across
was Kyle sitting alone in a chair staring deep.
I was doing a one man powwow.
Who were you with?
I was also alone.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was paying respect to the Oneida people who were their land. I believe and the ho chunks. Yeah
Where's where's Taylor go? He's got to think of shit. Oh
What's up? Will how we doing good? I don't think you're wearing that bandana, right? No
It's barely fits. Yeah
Issue I
Can't I can't get it going.
I feel like the way you're wearing it is, like, offensive.
The way what?
The way you're wearing it is, like, offensive.
I can't get it all the way back there.
There you go.
That's better.
It's a small head.
You're fine.
You're good.
We're at camp.
You can dress crazy and zany.
Yeah.
I wish I had something to report about Brandon Walker,
but you had a smooth night.
Yeah.
I was expecting loud snores.
A lovely...
I heard you were trying to figure out how to get in a hotel.
That was my thought previous to getting here.
Once we got here, I settled into a nice bunk with friends of mine, so I was fine.
I also was asleep probably by 9.30.
Oh, okay.
I was asleep early and a nice, pleasant, cool night of sleep.
There's something about
sleeping in the woods
and the cool air
drifting over you.
No one woke you up?
No one?
Well,
there was a loud
piece of shit party
at like 2 o'clock.
Probably about 1 o'clock
in the morning
where the cabin next to us
all arrived.
And they were talking
loud as fuck.
It was you.
It was you.
Y'all had no.
Okay, I can explain it.
I can explain it. You had no respect for the fact that we were sleeping.
There were two.
We didn't realize.
We came in the pitch black.
We had no idea how close.
We all drove and you took a private jet.
That's what you.
We had to work the rest of the day.
You took a private jet.
We did.
Yeah.
They also had to fly from Nashville.
So they weren't going to fly to Nashville and then go five hour drive.
We wanted them to come to camp.
That was part of the deal, getting them to camp. But Rico flew into an airport
here. Okay.
I don't know. I just thought that was
funny that Rico flew into an airport here. I didn't know there was an airport here.
Yeah, we wanted to get Taylor and Will here.
It's kind of a hard ask to be like, hey, can you fly
from Nashville to Chicago
then get on a bus for five hours and
do like a nine-hour travel day for
a two-day camp thing.
But that's all fine.
When y'all got here, y'all just were yelling at each other.
Okay, so I apologize for yelling.
We had no idea how close the cabins were.
Mike also walked into a cabin and just like—
Had the flashlight.
He had the flashlight out, and he's like—he just shined it in everyone's eyes.
He's like, oh, this isn't your cabin.
It was just a bunch of people sleeping.
Two things that we were probably too loud about. One was Will and Taylor just got us all doing mouth tape,
which that was the first time I've ever done mouth tape
while you sleep.
I heard that one, yeah.
I looked...
It's too lame.
Yeah.
For a partner to watch you sleep with tape on your mouth.
Well, the minute I put it on...
I think you'd enjoy it, KB.
I heard great things, and I think I would.
I think you'd enjoy it. Does it improve the jawline? Des and I think I would. I think you'd enjoy it. Is it important with the jawline? Describe what it does.
I do think nasal breathing in general, they talk about it helping with your jawline.
It was very vintage Will and Taylor that they explained all the benefits for it, and then I
googled it, and it was like, many studies have shown that there's no benefits to mouth tape,
and you actually can choke to death. No, I'm calling bullshit on that. I swear to God, I looked it up.
I'm calling bullshit on that. Okay, so that was one the bullshit on you on that okay so that was one and then
right before we were going to go to sleep
will was like what happens if someone tries to prank us and then we just had
like fair probably a 10-minute planning session on what we do in case of a prank
and we basically landed on beat the fuck out of Nicky. Yeah.
Hank was the only one real sketchy in that conversation.
He was Hank.
I don't really trust Hank.
Everybody at the camp was already asleep.
Yeah, but we didn't know.
Yeah, we don't know that.
Jerry came in.
He was kind of giving us, you know.
Started lying on everyone.
Yeah.
Said Rico went to sleep at 830.
He said Brandon already got a hotel.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot of hearsay about you, Brandon.
Yeah, really.
The rumor was you were here, you were texting.
Uh-huh.
You were texting somebody, won't say her name, your sister.
Yeah.
But we'll keep her name out of it that you were trying to get out of it.
Wait, is it because you don't know her name?
No, Caitlin.
Okay.
That could have been.
Yeah, but we won't say her name.
You were texting a lot of questions.
You were texting trying to get out of staying in the cabin.
No, no, no.
Do we have your countdown?
And also, Brandon, like, everybody's coming into Camp Barstool.
Nobody necessarily knows exactly what we're doing.
We just know we're going to have fun.
So you can't, like, trust anybody on what's going down at nighttime.
The problem is there's a crossover of, like,
surviving Barstool, most dangerous game.
It's very hard at this company to get through everyone's head that we're showing up to camp and we're just going to have fun.
Which I understand.
We've set the tone that everything we do will somehow screw everyone over.
What's the word for that?
Trauma?
Yeah, trauma.
We basically took a bunch of people to the woods and we're like, don't worry. We're just going to have fun.
No, we love you guys.
You earned this fun.
All right.
Yeah, get that shaded seat.
Get over it.
See you, Brando.
Yeah, I want in tomorrow.
Yeah, well, about 8.30.
All right, yeah.
I walked for 50 minutes on the football field.
Did you do 50?
Yeah, 50 minutes.
And I thought I would be competing later, so I did stop a little early because I was going to get my steps in later, but now I'll have to go back and walk again, but that's fine.
We've got a lot of games today. We're going to play some softball today. That's exciting. And now it's 12K to the winning team. Oh, so now there are cash prizes. Now 1,000 per person and 2,000 for Che. Is that coming out of your pocket, by the way?
To be determined.
Like, is this going to be cash in hand at postgame?
No.
Good answer.
How was the reception of you winning surviving bars to with that money?
Everybody's like, he doesn't need it.
No, I don't think that.
I don't think that happened maybe to other people. I know Jerry and Che were trying to spin it that way.
But you competing for just now $1,000, do you think that's bad luck?
No.
When you're in the side of the white lines, it doesn't matter if it's for $5 or $1,000.
You want to win.
We had a nice, funny Will Compton story.
So we flew up here last night, and the whole plan was that we were going to fly out of Midway.
The DNC screwed that up, so we flew out of Gary, Indiana.
But I had made this plan with Will three weeks ago, and I texted Will last night.
I was like, hey, send me your flight information.
And he sent me his flight information, and it said O'Hare.
And I was like, yeah, you were supposed to fly into Midway.
And he just replied, I'm in hell right now seeing that it's O'Hare. And I was like, yeah, you were supposed to fly into Midway.
And he just replied, I'm in hell right now seeing that it's O'Hare.
So I just got a flashback to beer games.
I thought it was.
He can't do anything right.
Yeah, but like he's built this persona where it just works.
He doxxed himself earlier this week.
What?
Yeah, he just tweeted. Hey, come on, come on.
We don't got to put that back out there.
You want that to die off.
You want people to forget about it.
People are listening that might have saw that back and go,
oh, yeah, that's right.
I did take a screenshot of it.
Yeah, of your address.
You need that to die off.
But, yeah, Will and Taylor and I and Garrett,
I picked them up at O'Hare and we drove to Gary last night.
I would say we had a feeling out of surviving Barstool
where neither side wanted to be like, hey, we should do an alliance.
But we were talking about it a lot.
Because we did it the first time, and you don't know what's going to happen
until it starts.
Right.
Like last time, everybody was building alliances beforehand.
It's irrelevant.
Yeah, it doesn't really matter.
But we had some of those, like it was one of those things
where we're sitting in the car and we all knew what the conversation was,
but we just never got all the way there.
It's like surviving in a month.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
Like, a lot of people you can make an alliance with.
Yeah.
Have you guys watched Survivor?
No.
I've started.
What's up, Taylor?
Come on.
I've started to watch a little to try to get better.
Yeah.
Because I had never watched the show.
It's amazing.
You didn't even have a chance to be bad last year.
No, I didn't.
And I'm definitely.
Would you have been bad?
Probably.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, absolutely, without a doubt.
Not if you were bought in.
No, I was bought in.
I didn't know the game.
I didn't understand.
Yeah, but you weren't fully bought in.
Yeah, no, you're right on that Sunday.
You were upset about the Sunday.
Yeah, which we fixed.
We started on a Monday.
It's like you knew you had the Sunday thing that you had, but you also got a giant mistake.
I wanted to just get to Monday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I just didn't get to Monday.
Yeah, that one caught it.
You got to get the jury favorite out immediately.
Who's the jury favorite?
Who's the most liked?
Will.
You think you still are?
I have no clue at this point.
Bob, that's a great answer.
In my brain, I'm thinking it would be really hard to win this point. That's a great answer. In my brain, I'm thinking it would be really hard
to win this one.
But it's like,
you don't know what happens
until the game starts.
We were just talking about
how...
People approach me
about alliances
and it's like,
hey, I'm telling you.
Like, when Taylor and I talk,
he's like,
hey, is there some strategy?
I'm like, bro,
we just got to know
how it unfolds
on the very first day.
Yeah.
Because we could be
on different teams.
I'm hearing there could be
like three teams of eight.
Four teams.
You legitimately have no clue until you start playing. My biggest goal is just not getting out the first day. Yeah. Because we could be on different teams. I'm hearing there could be like three teams of eight. Four teams? You legitimately have no clue
until you start playing. My biggest goal is just
not getting out the first day. Yeah. That's the only
thing I want. It's hard to do. I know. Yeah.
We were saying that on the drive down
to Gary, it was very clear that we were all having
a feeler conversation about potential
lines, but never got there. Never got there.
We never got all the way there. I'd be in the perfect place, though.
Yeah. Because we really got to that point.
Yeah, it would have been tough decisions. Yeah. But it was feeling everybody out. it ended in the perfect place, though. Yeah. Because we really got to that point early in the trip. Tough decisions, yeah.
But it was feeling everybody out.
We were in Chicago a couple weeks ago.
Yeah.
And we were definitely in some of those conversations.
We were just scoping it out.
People were, hey, let me talk to you for a second.
I brought you over in the corner.
It's a scary deal.
I'm nervous about just getting me out first.
That's all I care about.
It's the worst thing in the world.
If I'm out second, I don't care.
My dark horse, I was telling Big Cat.
I really do. Yeah, I do. Of course. You have roans in it. Yeah, I I don't care my dark horse I was telling big cat yeah I think our course the true agent of chaos the game has evolved so
much where you can't be you can't be good and you can't be bad yeah the good
people if you show any signs of strength you get voted out that's the current
game but hmm oh yeah you got to be like Stephen Che who had actually the most impressive survival of the barstool game ever.
No one ever wrote his name on a piece of paper, and he made it to the final.
There was no evidence.
He never got voted out.
Yeah, he never got voted out, and he didn't get a single vote to win.
You take the goat to the final three.
The minute you knew everybody hated Che in that one,
the thought process was,
how do we get this guy to the finals?
Right. He put up a
Club Trillion.
How are you feeling? How was your sleep?
Mouth tape has no...
Hey, Taylor, Big Cat's trying to
say he saw one article that said...
KB probably wrote it because he thinks
it's gay.
I look like a captive and that's vulnerable. Oh, I look like a captive. I said no I saw multiple KB probably wrote it because he thinks it's gay
I look like a captive and that's vulnerable and I look like a captain. Yeah, there's a like a like knowing There's only one way to breathe now. That's a little nerve-r and camping this weekend. We do mouth tape.
Yeah, we're just mouth taping it.
That's what we do.
I'm a fan of it.
Will put me on.
Yeah.
So what do you, wake up feeling better?
Do you ever wake up and your mouth is super dry?
Yeah.
And you're just like, and you have a little tickle in the back of your throat,
and you're like, I don't like this, and it takes a couple minutes to get that away?
I feel like with the mouth tape, it's like, you've got a good moist mouth in there, and that's nice.
Ready to roll mouth.
But do you ever feel weird, like, rolling over and, like,
you try to talk, and you're like, oh, shit, I'm taped?
It's almost a good way to end the night.
Oh, we have a...
It's almost a good way to end the night, because, you know,
you're sitting there talking with your wife in bed,
and then you're like, okay, I'm going to put the put the mouth they that's a good move. It's a good move
No, it's just like okay. I guess it's time to go to bed now your head sex with mouth tape on no
But I like where your head's at
Yeah, we have a lot, but you'd last way longer. Maybe yeah
Think about it.
If you're mouth breathing all night, you're shallow breathing.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I was saying it to you in the car.
Like, you were basically admitting that you're a mouth breathing, knuckle dragging.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a good excuse to not eat pussy.
True story.
She looks up and you're like, I'm already done.
I'm already taped up.
Yeah, we have a loudspeaker here that Corey woke us all up this morning.
Yeah.
Being like, that was not you?
Everyone thought it was.
It sounded like you.
They end all announcements with Barstool Spirits?
Barstool Spirits? That sounded just like you.
That's what it sounds like.
Every announcement ends with the phrase Barstool Spirits.
Barstool Spirits. Where did that come from?
We have the least amount of spirit
of any company ever. I disagree
with that. Oh, no. We don't have spirit.
We're not like, rah-rah. No.
We're like, if you go rah-rah, you're like,
who do they put on with that guy?
Yeah.
I feel like anytime there's chaos, that's when the rah-rah comes out.
The pirate ship. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. There are times
when we're under attack, we rah-rah,
but when we're in peace times, there times there's no most times yeah there's just struggling cutting each
other happy things that happens to me i'm called gay yeah right yeah i will
i will um what do you think how do you think think? Stephen Che is going to take this way too seriously.
Like, oh, you're trying to better your life?
Don't be gay.
Come on, man.
Not around me.
Don't get success for yourself.
I think Stephen Che and White Sox save are going to be perfect captains, though,
because they both are going to get, and Rico and Jerry are the head.
Rico, Jerry, and Kate are the referees.
I'm a sideline announcer now, but Rico and Jerry are going to be perfect.
You mentioned softball. Anything else?
I think there's a tug of war today. There's a game to start where everyone's going to be
involved and eggs are going to be involved.
Ooh, egg toss?
Steven's a captain. Omelette ball. That's why you asked me if I was going to be able to do
everything today.
Oh, he's already scouting. With your knee, are you going to be able to do everything?
Get him from my eye.
I'll jog it up.
I'm thinking, that's why I asked you to check up on me.
He could be a quadriplegic and be first overall pick still.
I don't think so, man.
I don't think I have it.
I think I'm officially washed up.
No.
Yeah.
No.
I think Compton's got me in most categories now.
Is that true?
No, I wouldn't say that.
I think you should worry about him surviving Barstool as well.
Yeah, but what about your back?
That's the problem.
It feels like everybody's just, you say stuff like that.
You just trying to create some target?
You trying to make me an easy out on day one?
That was for sure trying to create something.
Don't do that.
I'm just saying, the game is being played
as we speak
yeah but
what game is surviving
we're in a feeler
this is why it sucks
I don't even know that
yeah you gotta get in on it
we have to fucking
keep talking about surviving
are you in it
shut up
great question
but if we
if you were in it
you would be mad
that you were in it
just like when I took you
out of competing in this
you got mad that you weren't
why can't I be a captain
I wanted you to be a captain the whole time got mad that you weren't. Why can't I be a captain?
I wanted you to be a captain the whole time. You're not a good leader.
I'm a great leader.
Did you see me win the gold medal for the Summer Olympics just a couple weeks ago?
Yeah, he did.
He did.
I hit a three and marked Titus' eye.
That's a fact.
Summer Games.
Same thing.
Summer Games.
You'll never feel that glory again.
Never once.
Going out on top.
Going out on top. Going out on top.
That's what announcers always say.
They're like, yeah, I like it, but I miss knowing it's a winner or a lose.
You made the choice.
You want to compete?
Nah, I'd rather announce.
KB, there's a King of the Blob tomorrow.
Yes.
I'm very excited about that.
So yeah, today is field games.
Tomorrow is water games.
So swimming.
I think there's some kayaking.
I think there's a belly flop contest.
There was people in the water this morning from like 9 a.m. on.
I like look out and Donnie's on a tube going across the lake.
Like people are into it.
It's beautiful out here.
We got some fishing in.
Did you guys catch anything?
Nothing.
Good teamwork though.
Good teamwork.
Chief caught a couple.
So why did you say nothing? Well, because Chief caught a couple. Chief caught two. I didn't catch anything? Nothing. Good teamwork, though. Good teamwork. Chief caught a couple. So why did you say nothing?
Well, because Chief caught a couple.
Chief caught two.
I didn't catch anything.
Eight of us struck out.
A ton of people on that boat.
Yeah.
And it didn't.
How did he catch two and you guys caught none?
He caught the first one.
We were all excited.
Took a team photo.
He caught the second one.
Then I was kind of like, all right, cool, Chief.
Yeah, chill.
We were like, Chief.
It's kind of like what we were saying earlier.
You have some success.
We've got to chop them down.
Yeah.
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I realized, too, being out here that all the shit I've been talking about, how many animals I can
take, we could potentially be in a spot.
Someone saw a fox?
There's bears around here too.
I'd take them.
They shouldn't try me.
The photographer who's here?
He saw one driving in.
We saw a badger, no problem.
Those just run around.
Badgers are kind of fierce, right?
They wouldn't try me.
Yes, I realize that.
Yeah, but I realize that I talk a lot of shit on animals.
Me and Chaps saw one this morning.
A bald eagle already?
You saw a bald eagle?
By the lake.
We were walking.
We didn't even notice it.
And then it flew off the log and went right across the water as the sun was gorgeous.
Was it a boy or girl?
Stunning.
It was a boy, of course.
How do either of you know that?
All bald eagles.
All bald eagles.
We've been through this.
Flamingos are girls.
Right.
We've been through this entire thing. Flamingos are girls. Right. We've been through this entire thing.
Flamingos are girls.
Turkeys are lesbian.
Yep.
Turkeys are butch lesbians, yes.
Pheasants are femmes, but they're still lesbians.
Yeah, of course.
Just how it works.
This morning made me realize that I am a piece of shit.
Yeah.
It took this long.
Yeah, damn.
We've been telling you for a year, dude.
Yeah, I know.
But you guys getting up at like 7, 8 a.m. effortlessly.
That was nice.
Well, you went to bed at like 9.30.
I didn't fall asleep until like 2 or 3.
You guys were out.
What were you doing?
He snuck in some softball players from UW-Oshawa.
Two of them.
I got those hinge matches lining up.
Were you guys partying?
No, I was just chilling.
Did anybody booze last night?
Did anybody booze last night?
A little bit.
Of course.
It was warm.
Of course.
Better be careful, he has a busy week.
Oh, I meant to say he doesn't. He's just having fun.
Want a Mountain Dew?
So good. It is so good.
Imagine if West Virginia had Mountain Dew.
Throw me a Code Red.
Oh my god. That would save the youth.
You want a Code Red?
Do you have a Code Red over Baja Blast?
Yeah. I have three Baja Blasts. Can I have a Code Red, please? We were saying Mountain Dew has changed the youth. You want to code red over Baja Blast? Yeah. Code red is...
I have three Baja Blast.
Can I have a code red, please?
We were saying Mountain Dew has changed the game with...
Can I have a Baja Blast?
I think three times now.
Really?
Mountain Dew coming out just in general.
Thank you.
And then code red.
They're like, oh, I didn't know it could be even better.
Everyone game planned for that.
Yeah, but no one saw the singular Baja Blast coming out.
Kyle, what did you say it was like when Code Red hit West Virginia?
And making it exclusive to Taco Bell was such a flex.
When Code Red hit West Virginia, it was like when Mesopotamia got irrigation.
It was a red year, the whole year.
Dudes buying Code Red.
Girls buying Code Red.
Hank basically made Baja Blast.
His dad owns a bunch of Taco Bells,
so he used to have Baja Blast in his fridge before it was out.
That was awesome.
Everyone was like, imagine if Baja Blast was sold in cans.
Yeah.
And here it is, and it's kind of crazy.
Might as well do the ad reads.
We're talking about it.
You know what we all need to get more of?
Off our ass.
Brandon, with bold flavors and a refreshing citrus kick, Mountain Dew will get you
off your ass and have you feeling like you're on an actual mountain. I love the original.
We got Code Red going right now. Mountain where the weather is always perfect.
Your friends are ready to hang and a day of epic proportions awaits. KB was playing some tennis
this morning. I can't wait to play softball tonight. Mountain is calling.
You should answer. Grab your friends. Grab an ice cold Mountain Dew wherever refreshing beverages are
sold and do the do.
I kind of just want to go to summer camp. That's what we're doing. Oh, you want to start it?
Own a summer camp? Oh, you want to start
just going every summer? We're here now.
Summer camp is a little weird.
We're at a summer camp now.
Yeah, extended stay.
All right.
Something you want to do when you retire?
Own a summer camp?
I don't think so.
No? No.
What is the end of Big Cat?
Like, what does that look like?
Enough money that I can just lose at gambling.
For now?
So what you're doing now?
No, but like-
Retired right now. No, every
like be like
alright,
your life expectancy
20 years
you can lose all this.
Ah.
And with the same
amount that I started with.
Zero.
Wouldn't that be poetic?
That would be beautiful.
Can't take it with you.
Get all the way back
down to zero.
Your last bet doesn't hit
you get that last breath.
That would be beautiful. What an ending. That would be beautiful. Can't take it with me. Get all the way back down to zero. Your last bet doesn't hit. You keep that last row. That would be beautiful.
What an ending.
That would be poetry.
Yeah.
They'd write stories about you.
When was the last time you had buyer's remorse?
Oh.
Wow.
Brandon's TV.
Was it?
Yeah.
No, he earned that.
Right.
Like something that actually made you feel a little bit shitty after you buy it.
Like, fuck, I shouldn't have.
I don't buy anything.
Right.
Huh. I don't buy anything. Right. Huh.
I don't buy stuff.
Really?
No.
Well the Bluey convention you spent $300.
Oh yeah, but that's for my kids.
Yeah, still spending money.
Yeah, true.
I was saying that when I like take my kids to places
and they're like, can we get a toy?
I'm just like, yeah.
And then I realized like that's probably bad,
but, cause they play with it for, like, 30 minutes.
You got the Oculus, and you used it for a 30-second?
I actually never opened it.
I gave it to Tommy.
Oh, okay.
Tommy's got it.
That was because Sass brought it in, and I was like, this is awesome.
I use this every day.
And I never used it.
Yeah.
So I guess, yeah, that would be it.
Do you guys remember your first big, like, NFL money purchase?
Was it dumb, or was it, like, pretty sensible?
Oh, yeah, good question.
I mean, Air Max shoes and an Xbox?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're still waiting.
The first thing I bought was a Jansport backpack.
It was like $19.99.
It was on sale.
It had ducks on it.
I was so fired up about it.
Wait, as your money when you...
That was like the first purchase I made when I got my check.
Did you get drafted in a Jansport store?
No.
What do you mean? I was like, I need a backpack to carry things. I need something. Was that expensive?
Was a big Vans guy. I had $12.50 in my bank account when I got drafted. What was your first big purchase?
I bought a Rolex.
Okay, there we go.
I think you got drafted in a Dick's Sporty. What the hell?
Yeah, I was in the aisle of the chance.
You were like, perfect, now I can get this back.
He's playing Survivor right now.
Common man.
Did you use the backpack?
I used it for like five years, and then one of the straps broke.
And instead of looking for a way to fix it, I just got rid of it.
Yeah.
You've afforded that luxury.
Yeah.
Wait, what was your signing bonus
When you got drafted
Were you
11th pick
11th pick
Yeah
Safe space
Yeah
6'5
Oh that's
Signing bonus
That
That's a lot of backpacks
If you look at
People who are drafted 11 now
Yeah I know it's crazy
It's like 25 million dollars
I know
It's nuts
What's like the highest paid
College player
I think someone's making.
I have no clue.
Arch.
Nico says 8 million.
How much?
Who's that kid that got a private jet deal?
Caleb was making a few million.
At Georgia, the quarterback.
Carson Beck?
I didn't hear the rest of the question.
You talking about Jaden Rashada, the one that transferred in?
There's a kid at Georgia who's a quarterback who one of his NIL deals is a private jet.
Oh, that's Carson Beck.
Yeah.
And Jackson Dart does that too at Ole Miss.
He's got the private jet.
I think I'd take that over money.
Yeah.
I think I would take a private jet over like having –
As a college kid.
As a college kid.
Where do you want to go?
Oh, we'll go here.
Yeah.
Oh, you want to go to Miami?
I wonder how often he gets to use it though.
I was going to say, I wonder how often he gets to use it.
Like if there's like a cap.
He won't be able to use it until spring? Two trips a year. Sum was going to say, I wonder how often he gets to use it, like if there's like a cap. He won't be able to use it in the spring?
Two trips a year.
Summertime?
If it's two trips a year, that's not that great.
But if he was like, hey, we'll give you 200 hours.
He's in football season now.
After football season, he's going to be in draft prep.
After draft prep, he's going to be like,
when's he going to be able to use it?
But draft prep, it's like a Monday through Friday deal.
A lot of guys, you can go for a weekend.
If you had access, full access to a private jet at all times,
you'd just go to places to go to places.
I would say get the boys on the plane, just go party in the sky for a little bit.
Come back down, same answer.
I think the Dallas Cowboys in the 90s did that.
Oh, I'm sure they did.
They would just get on a plane and do a bunch of drugs.
Because that's international waters, right?
You can do anything in the sky.
Yeah.
Who was the team that had the boat they were always going out on?
Minnesota Vikings.
Minnesota Vikings.
Love boat.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Red Smoot.
When was that?
Oh, man.
There was like strippers
and they were...
They would just rent a boat
and they would just like
fuck on the boat.
Use your words, KB.
Get up, please.
There's two things you can do
to avoid cancer.
Put on sunscreen and not
smoke cigs.
Wait, did you guys
go on... There's a lot more, right?
Yeah, there's gotta be a lot more.
Definitive things you can definitely do. Not live next to a power plant.
Diet. Not before.
Don't be born in Chernobyl.
It's more iffy. These are big ones.
Don't drink uranium. Chernobyl. It's more iffy. These are big ones. Don't drink uranium.
That's a big one.
That's huge.
People struggle with that.
Yeah.
Round up.
Just stay away from that in general.
Don't be born in West Virginia where that river.
Yeah, it's got everybody.
Dirty water.
It's got everybody.
Don't have a hand bigger than your face. I remember that.
Taylor, is your hand bigger than your face?
I'm not doing this.
I don't know if you did it, if I had the balls to do it.
I would have gotten it.
I would have just had to stand.
You would have for sure done it.
Wait, so did you guys go on offensive line trips after every season?
Yeah, we would do like a Vegas or I think Miami one year.
Did you do that?
No.
You came on one.
I came on one of theirs like late.
But, man, I regret it.
After my rookie year, London Fletcher did a retirement party in Vegas.
I opted not to go.
Why?
I don't know.
I truly regret it.
What did you do instead?
I don't know, man. Went back to Bonterra? Just went back to train. Oh, God don't know. I truly regret it. What did you do instead? I don't know, man.
Went back to Bonterra?
Just went back to train.
Oh, God.
Hey, that's the mindset there.
That's how you end up with 10 years.
Yeah.
Were you putting in extra hours compared to your team?
Yeah.
You were?
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, yeah.
Got me there. He hit you with the oh, yeah. Got me there.
He hit you with the oh, yeah.
Will, you're about to have a weekend for yourself, huh?
Yes.
No kid, no wife?
I'll get back on Thursday, and the wife and kid will be gone until Sunday evening.
Whoa, wow.
So I'm trying to figure out.
I feel like I've got too many options going on in my head between which show to binge, how much college football 25 to play,
what I'm going to order to eat.
Do you do what I do when everyone's out of town?
I order from two restaurants.
And you'll just go?
No, I'll be like, I like this from here and I like this from here.
That should be normalized.
Yeah.
What a move. Yeah, like I like the crab, I like this from here, and I like this from here. That should be normalized. Yeah. What a move.
Yeah, like I like the crab rangoons from this one place,
and I like the hot pepper noodles from another place. Oh, you're doing two different Chinese spots.
Yeah, I'll try to match it.
I like that move.
Yeah, I think so.
No, I love it.
I thought it was a safe space to say what you ordered.
No, no, I'm sorry.
I stuck out a line.
Bang, bang?
Yeah, because Caleb would do, when he was in Nashville,
he'd be like, oh, you ever done bang bang?
And I'm like, no, what's that?
And he's like, you order from two spots, and you have to eat all the food that comes.
Caleb just made that up.
Wait, so you would order two different dinners?
I think so.
That's crazy in my mind.
No, no, no.
I want shrimp tacos and pot roast. Oh, no. Yeah, I would a shrimp tacos and a pot roast.
Oh, no.
Yeah, I would do Mexican.
Listen, you're down to a couple options.
You don't know what to decide from, so you order them both.
Yeah, or just like, I mean, why can't you just combine them?
I like two different things.
I'm hungry.
Yeah.
I don't know if I'd do two of the same cuisine.
Yeah, I'd like to do that.
Y'all are focused on the wrong thing.
What are the shows you might binge? What's the finalists for the shows? I don't know.
I don't know. Do you guys have any recommendations?
Yeah.
I've seen that one.
I guess I could dive into that.
Well, if you put an extra word.
Chernobyl?
If you guys watch that, I think I'm going to start it.
Chernobyl?
Is it that we should make Chernobyl?
This is Waukesha again.
I've never watched the wine.
A Chardonnay winery has a Chernobyl.
Stephen Cheney's grill.
There's a meltdown.
Chernobyl 2, Cheney's grill.
I haven't seen it yet.
Chernobyl is fire, though.
Great show.
That's what I wanted.
Bad movie starring Jesse McCartney.
McCartney?
Yeah.
Who's that?
He was in O-Town.
Yeah, he was in O-Town.
What was his big song?
Beautiful Soul.
Well, O-Town's big song was I Want It All.
Right.
Have you guys watched Your Honor?
No, no, no.
He wasn't in O-Town.
He was in Dream Street. That's just crazy. Your Honor's. He wasn't in O-Town. He was in Dream Street.
That's just crazy.
Your Honor's good.
Who was in O-Town?
Ashley Parker Angel.
Sorry.
So 98 Degrees
was Nick Lachey.
And the other Lachey.
You guys watch
the Backstreet Boys doc?
No.
Lou Pearlman.
No, you would think pervert,
but no,
he was a finance scammer guy.
Oh.
He made them all broke.
I thought he was a diddler.
It's either finance scam or pedophilia.
Well, he did have a bunch of boys living in his house.
Okay, so he was double.
But they were there.
He was the one that started the rivalry between NSYNC and Backstreet Boys.
Really?
He started them both.
How did he start the rivalry?
He said, I think, like, Chris Kirkpat McLean's girlfriend, AJ McCool's girlfriend.
What's AJ's girlfriend?
And then he would send Backstreet Boys to Europe and he would give NSYNC all the good shows
and then send Backstreet Boys to the press of like, wow, look how big NSYNC's getting.
And then they'd come back and he pitted them against each other.
Which one was Chris Kirkpatrick in?
That was NSYNC.
NSYNC. Chris and Joey.
The only reason why I know his name is from the Eminem song.
Yeah.
He gets ass kicked.
He was also Chip Skylark.
Shiny teeth in me.
That's all right.
TJ, do we?
Yeah.
It took me a minute.
No, no, no.
We're not that big of an age gap.
I don't think at all.
TJ, do we have a list of the competitors?
I don't know.
What did you say?
Right there.
He has a list.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
Can we see the full list?
So Che and White Sox Dave are going to do a draft in a minute.
Where do you guys think you're going to get drafted?
10th or 11th.
I'm worried that Che is going to try to draft some of us high
because he likes us and that would be a mistake.
If Che drafts me, I'm holding out. If Che drafts me
in the first three rounds, our team's going to suck.
Why? Because I'm not a first
three rounder anymore. No.
I would just like to...
You're a sneaky rec guy.
Not a first three rounder.
I'm not supposed to be on there.
Unless you want to be. Brandon, I want you to play.
Why don't you want to play? That would mean a lot to me. I'm not supposed to be on there. Unless you want to be. I want you to play. Why don't you want to play?
That would mean a lot to me. I retired.
Are you retired because you're injured? You might as well have fun. I will have fun.
Hang on, hang on, hang on. Are you not playing because you're
injured or something?
Our last event, we saw someone's
Achilles pop.
Yeah. But you won the
I'm older and fatter than he is.
Where's Max? Is Max not on there? I shouldn't be on there. He has to play. It's won the Olympics. I'm older and fatter than he is. Where's Max? Is Max not on there?
I shouldn't be on there.
Max has to be on there.
He has to play.
It's a bad list.
Max, you're playing, right?
I thought so.
Yeah.
Max wants to play so bad.
He should be.
Is that the full list?
I don't know.
Max has to.
That's a guy.
You can build your team around somebody.
Why is everybody out here watching?
He found out just now
They're about to get picked
Oh, yeah, okay
Oh, it's a live draft
Live draft on the Yak
Okay
I just want to say in advance
I think it's really cool
that they're not going to pick the women last
and that they won't be waiting around
in a little clump
for these types of talents
I think there's going to be
Oh, Taylor's a professional football player
We'll take him
That's a really good...
Oh, you guys are one...
Taylor, you've got to stop talking to yourself like that.
You guys are first picks.
Don't even put that in the universe with yourself, man.
You're solid.
Thanks, man.
You're going to do a lot of good things in that.
All right, we can stop.
Okay, we got everyone over there.
He's making stuff.
What were you saying?
About five, seven dudes?
The flag football quarterback?
I meant to talk to you about this.
I was saying it wasn't a shot at you.
PFT said, this 5'7 dude's upset.
And I said, a 5'7 dude is upset, sound the alarm.
Hitler, Napoleon.
I get it, you can't be 5'7 and angry. Well, you can't be 5'7 dude is upset, sound the alarm. Hitler, Napoleon. I get it.
You can't be 5'7 and angry.
Well, you can't be 5'7 and –
You can't be resentful.
And did you see the quote?
You've got to just be goofy.
Did you see the quote?
You've got to just be goofy.
He's the captain of the flag football team.
I saw him, yeah.
And he was like, if Mahomes and Burrow think they can just walk in here
and be good at flag football, it's like, yeah, they can.
But did he say specifically Mahomes?
No, but he was like, these guys got to earn it.
Like, they're not going to be – there's weird things that happen in the game
that they're not used to.
I think they could probably learn it in maybe 20 minutes.
You think, yeah.
20 minutes of being like, oh, okay.
I think probably less.
Probably just tell them.
Right.
He was saying, like, oh, yeah, there's different trick plays and stuff.
Okay.
That was a tough quote for him.
Yeah, I get it.
But, you know, that's probably his livelihood.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably is.
He's the quarterback?
He's the quarterback.
I just don't know if you can say like, oh,
if Josh Allen thinks he's going to come in here
and be better at flag football than me, he's got another thing coming for him.
He's a 5'7 flag football guy.
Kyle, if you were taller, would you be angry more?
Yeah, you have more, like, you can, like, get pissed at people.
Yeah, like a 5'7 guy getting mad, you're like, whoa, settle down, little guy.
You're, you're, you can become, I mean.
I mean, look at Sox Dave.
Yeah.
Oh, man, you're right.
It just doesn't.
Sox Dave is the perfect example.
Bagel bar, Sox Dave.
He has a lot of right points.
But people just are like, dude, you're angry.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
You have to walk the earth a little different than everyone else.
I know.
Damn. You're taller than White Sox Dave, than everyone else. I know. Damn.
You're taller than White Sox Dave, aren't you?
I don't know.
Probably about the same.
Should we go back to back?
You wear it better.
White Sox Dave.
Come here.
Do we have a mic TJ out here?
Handheld or no?
But in the same sense, Tyree Kill is saying he can beat Noah Lyles in a sprint.
Here you go, big kid.
I think he –
In a sprint?
Not a –
200.
Maybe a 40.
Maybe a 40.
Vodka?
I was thinking he was saying a 100-yard dash.
Christ.
No, he's –
Straight vodka?
No.
Tyree Kill does have world-class speed. He's not – he can't he's straight vodka. Tyreek Hill does have world
class speed. He can't beat Noah Lyles.
Tyreek Hill could
You think he could
Jesus Christ, Dave.
What's he drinking? Straight vodka
and ice. I don't think he would, if Tyreek Hill
showed up to the Olympic qualifiers,
I don't think he'd finish last.
Are you good?
I don't think he'd qualify for the Olympics.
I don't think he'd finish last. Are you good? I don't think he'd qualify for the Olympics.
I don't think he'd finish last.
But he is like an insane... Right.
You had that story, right?
About Tyree Kill, the Tennessee guy?
I like that.
You told that story?
It's hard to have conversations to Will
about conversations he's had with other people.
The Tennessee coach, Tyree Kill.
Oh, Coach Eckler.
There we go.
Yeah.
What did he say?
I'll be honest.
I can't remember.
Okay, see.
All right.
So that was a good stuff.
It was like a recruiting story.
Smart move by me to pass that ball.
That was an incompletion.
Do you remember the story?
Were you there?
No.
I have no idea what we're talking about right now.
No, I don't think Taylor was there,
but he was talking about like a recruiting story,
like he was trying to get the coaching staff to offer him.
The mic is.
Yeah, I'm mic-ing.
He was trying to get the coaching staff to offer, I believe, Tyreek,
based on like his track, his times, and everything else,
and they ended up turning him away, and he's like,
oh, it turned out it was Tyreek Hill.
It was a story like that.
All right, my fault.
Yeah.
My fault.
It's all right.
It's all good. I mean, you got the story. Yeah. Might story like that. My fault. It's alright. It's all good.
You got the story.
White Sox Dave,
can we get back to back with you and KB?
He's got me by like a half inch.
Oh, there we go.
Wow.
Guess we don't need it.
We may have done this.
We've done this before.
Here's the issue though. I'm 5'6.5". how tall are you? I say five seven. Wow. Wow. So somebody's lying. Program I said
five nine though. I love that. No you're. It's just awesome to hear. I used to be a fan. All right, should we draft? Where's Che?
Right there.
Che, get over here.
All right, so you guys are going to draft teams of,
I think you'll end up with 11 picks, so 12 on a team.
Did you hear White Sox, Dave?
There's cash prize for the winning team.
Everyone gets $1,000.
The two captains get $2,000 if their team wins. Beautiful. So you captains get two thousand dollars if their team wins beautiful so you'd get two thousand dollars your team wins uh the so do you
guys want to know a couple of the games so you can judge do you know yeah the game i think that would
help northland softball so there's softball i think there's tug of war today there's um some climbing
and then tomorrow is all water. So there's belly flop,
there's kayaking,
I believe there's something with the blob,
there's a swimming race.
So it's everything.
And then there will be a big relay race on Thursday
to finish the whole thing off
that will combine everything we've done.
I think there's also some puzzles in the relay race.
Can I say the one other thing today?
Yeah.
The trampoline ball.
Oh yeah, there's trampoline ball. Trampoline
four square. Yeah, trampoline four square.
That looks awesome. Tramp ball, yeah.
So there's puzzles? I think there might be a puzzle.
Yeah. I think the way this
is all set up is, so there's two teams of twelve.
Not everyone's going to compete in everything.
The captains will decide who competes
in each event. But in the finale,
the relay race, everyone will be involved
and it will combine
everything we've done and possibly puzzles.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Okay, so do you want to spin to see who gets first pick?
We rock every single one. Sure.
Two out of three? Hang on. Two out of three or straight up?
Two out of three. Yeah, you got to go.
Are they Mike's? No, they're not Mike's.
Here, Che.
Yeah, come get mine and move to Mike's.
Y'all need to read Mike's. It's kind of exciting. This is exciting. Y'all need a big mic.
It's kind of exciting.
This is exciting.
Yeah.
This is awesome.
This is the kickoff of camp.
Yeah.
Who are going to be your brothers?
What if we're all split up?
Is our cabin in danger?
It's not possible.
Well, 50-50, though.
We're split up.
So you two are not playing.
I'm not playing. Yeah, but what happened to our cabin?
At all.
There will be a list. I'm not playing. I'm not playing. Yeah, but what happened to our cabin? At all. There will be a list. I'm not
playing.
Everyone else is playing.
I was thinking about it. I'm not moving.
I've already set up camp. No, I'm talking about the
pranks. Eddie's out.
Do we have an updated
list?
We have a big board.
Because you're athletic.
I don't have an updated list.
Is Mook on the list?
Okay, so everyone over there.
Yeah, I think that's largely our talent pool.
And Jerry is not.
Eddie is not.
Okay.
It's just the people here and here.
Can you send that to TJ so we can have a list so people can follow along at home?
Okay.
And TJ will just update it from an Excel sheet.
Is that okay, TJ?
Are you doing snake draft or one?
Yeah, the pics will come up as you guys make them.
Yeah, I just want them to know.
I don't want there to be someone sitting there and they're like, oh, shit, I forgot.
I didn't realize they were eligible to be picked.
With two probably.
Fuck yeah.
Two people taking.
It's hard to do just one. Are you guys going just one, one, one? I think that's how we should do it, okay. Give it a go taking it's hard to do just are you guys going just one one one?
I think that's how we yeah
Yeah, I mean yeah, I think she's go one one back and forth. Yeah
All right, so for first pick we both want it all right all right rock paper scissors shoot
shoot
paper scissors shoot paper scissors shoot
shoot fuck Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. Fuck. All right.
We're at the first page.
Hold on.
Let's make sure TJ's got it set up.
That was a dusting.
What was that?
TJ, you'll update it?
You can talk about it.
You have a mic.
Talk about the dusting.
That was a little bit of a dusting right there.
That was a little bit of a dusting.
That's a good omen for this.
How are you guys?
And also, you guys know that Rico and Jerry are head referees, right?
Okay.
So feel free to argue as much as you want with them. Cool.
Good to know. Rico was talking
in his sleep last night. He's legitimately possessed.
Yeah. Screaming at
people. Tell them what woke everybody up.
He was having comments.
Rico has sleep issues.
Yeah, he's got nightshows.
Say the one thing that woke everybody up. He ripped the
loudest fart. It sounded like a
fake fart.
And it just woke up the like, the entire bunk.
Yeah.
Is that every night?
Yeah.
Better than sleep issues and awake issues.
No peace 24-7.
Four to five a week.
It's kind of hell.
Yeah, it's hell.
And remember, there's softball tonight
To decide dinner
What do you mean decide dinner?
I think the losers
Get just hot dogs over a fire
And the winners
Get steaks
Oh that's fun
What about commentators?
Not bad
Commentators
I will judge
The commentators
That's how they do
Yeah
And we'll decide
The commentators can get steaks
Hot dogs or nothing.
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Commentators have their own car.
What? You have your own car?
What do you mean you have your own car?
He's going to leave.
No, you can't leave. If you leave,
it's a $12,000 penalty.
You guys hear Brandon only has five months left on his contract?
Is that right?
That wasn't me, Brandon.
That was Nick.
I don't have a mic.
In the middle of negotiations, Brandon?
No.
What would you advise going into a negotiation?
Brandon knows his worth.
Well, they can't give anything away.
The Bustin' Boys are up, too.
What do you want?
How much do you want?
I just want to be taken care of for what I'm worth.
Okay, what are you worth?
A lot.
Okay, how much is that?
I don't know.
Specifically? No. What's a number in your head you're like, oh, yeah, for are you worth? A lot. Okay, how much is that? I don't know. Specifically?
No.
What's a number in your head you're like, oh yeah, for sure, yes.
After taxes, what would you be like to be paid?
That's a great question.
Direct from the people sitting here.
Oh, KB is just, he's axing a fly.
That's a real man.
That's a real man.
First fly.
You got it, too.
One for me.
He chopped that fly right in half.
Be well.
Keep watching that conversation.
Okay, is everyone here?
All right, so it's everyone on these
Tables and then obviously
Can we kind of line everybody up right here and they just pick so I would love to see visually somebody get rejected All right, that counts. 300? 300. 900?
You're still my team.
Brandon.
Okay, so it's everyone over there, then obviously Will, Nick, Taylor, me, KB, Mook.
Okay.
Okay, are we ready?
Now we'll actually get drafted.
You have the first pick.
It's everyone there and then us too.
Dave.
Alright, with the first pick, I'm going to go with a little bit of I think a curveball. I'm going to go with Chef Donnie.
Whoa! Chef Donnie!
I'm going to go with Chef Donnie for the first pick.
Squirrelly and fearless! That's a great pick.
He's definitely good at everything.
Yeah, everything. And he's an outdoors guy.
Yeah, he's an outdoors guy.
I think he's a well-rounded first pick.
Donnie, congrats, man. That's a huge honor.
That's a huge honor.
He goes to the chef.
Brandon, can you do draft grades?
Go after, do the draft grades?
Yeah, I'll do the draft grades.
Oh, it's a wrap.
I'll go with the professional athlete that won pretty much
every competition in surviving bar still, Will Compton.
Okay, good pick.
Bad back, though.
Muscle
sinks in water.
Oh.
Worth noting, we're not doing any
water activities today.
They're muscular as fuck.
Taylor's...
Yeah, I know.
I know.
He doesn't respect the NFL players.
I got Taylor.
It's so great.
He's kind of like, yeah, I see him.
I see him.
I'm going to go with Taylor.
Okay.
Good pick.
Muscle sinks in water.
Good pick.
Muscle sinks in water.
Oh.
That's a good... You're in a good spot, because now people can't say, oh, you're the first pick.
All right, we'll go with Nicholas Smokes.
Whoa.
Smokes.
Whoa.
Good pick.
Yeah, walk through it.
Let me shake your hand. All those dudes are about the same.
I don't know. Is there a QB sneaking drinks competition? Is that why Stokes was so hot?
Yeah.
I'm going to go with Rudiger.
Nice.
Nice former ice hockey player.
Some good teams. Great.
It's an honor.
Welcome.
Let's do it.
Let's get the first one.
Sidney Wells.
That's good picks, and he's an answer.
All right, Max, let's tear up that softball field tonight, baby.
Let's go, Max.
Let's go.
Let's go.
Let's go.
I'll take that round easy.
Max is pumped.
He's so pumped.
What if I'm maybe not playing to a fourth-round pick? Let's go! I'll take that round easy. Max is pumped.
What if I'm maybe not playing to a fourth-round pick?
Good specimens left.
I know.
Okay.
Soon-to-be daddy, Wanton Don.
Ooh!
Interesting.
Is he an athlete? Is he athletic? No. No, Wanton Don. Ooh. Interesting. Is he an athlete?
Is he athletic?
No.
No, I didn't think so.
Yeah.
Taking the C off and just put an A on.
What's he doing?
I'm going to go with Kyle Bauer.
Yeah.
Smart, finally.
I'm going to go with Kyle Bauer.
Good pick.
Good pick.
Great pick.
Yeah.
Big cat.
Fuck. I'm really excited. Big cat. Fuck.
I'm really excited to be on this team.
I'm really excited to be on this team.
I'm really excited to be on this team.
Do we have archery in this?
Thank you for the opportunity.
Or any rifle sports?
I'm going to take over drafting from here on out.
You asked if we had rifle sports?
Yeah.
No, we don't have rifle sports.
Outside of the realm of possibility.
With this group?
Like this.
All right.
Hey, Brandon.
Okay, okay. We got a nail this end
What? I think I need some length on my team. Take it over here
That's bad chemistry between my team we went for a bump in a Well, are we here? Where are we at? Um, I guess they're conglomerating over there.
That's bad chemistry between my team. We went for a bump and a handshake.
Hey, we're all on the same team now, so you wanna like, you know, convene?
We gotta have handshakes for the end of this thing? I don't know.
I mean... One team's kind of falling apart.
Yeah.
All right. Chief.
Their leader's drunk.
That's true. Hank is good at everything.
Hey, Dave, Hank is good at everything.
Yeah, Hank is... Oh, God.
Yeah, I've been dunking. N, Hank is. Oh, God. Why?
Yeah, I'm nervous.
I think a toss-up between those two.
Is he torn?
Dave's torn between Hank and PFT instead.
PFT to him.
Where's he going?
Oh, he's looking at him.
He's going over to closely look at them.
Are you willing to die for this team?
Yes, sir.
Are you willing to die for this team?
No.
Hank, let's go.
PFT.
PFT.
PFT.
You guys with talent.
Welcome.
All right.
Hey, Taylor.
Tough luck, Chad.
Down the middle.
They're going to feel real dumb, ladies,
when you end up saving the whole team, whoever's team you're on.
Yes.
And he's an athlete, too.
People forget.
Who's up?
Dave.
I'm up.
We just picked PFT.
Okay.
Mook.
Welcome.
Great.
That's good late round value with Mook.
He is.
People forget that Mook is very athletic.
Softball player.
Hey, Chaps, what are you guys talking about?
Chaps.
Thank you.
Monica.
Or Length.
Length of team.
Got her name wrong.
You guys want to state your case?
Hannah.
Mr. Irrelevant.
Ella.
There we go.
Mr. Irrelevant.
There we go.
That's for last.
That's actually for last.
We'll take Nicky.
No shame in it.
Yeah.
Nicky Twitch.
I win every question.
That's fine.
Fuck yes, Nick.
That's our puzzle master.
It's right.
Fuck yes.
Come on.
We took Hannah.
No, no, no. We took Hannah.
You took Ella.
Ella and Annika.
All right, so I think you guys, I think Pete wants everyone to go get mic'd up.
Yeah, follow Corey.
We'll start the games in like 20 minutes when we finish the act.
Good job, Dave.
What do I need to do to stop the disrespect?
That is insane.
All right, let's break it down.
You always win.
Hey, give – Stephen, give – oh, there we go.
Brandon, we need the draft breakdown from you.
We missed on Rudy.
Hold on, let me do an ad real quick.
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press clippings come out they talk about the first round pick yeah they check
around pick they don't really talk about a whole lot that's a lot of pressure on
you I feel no so we're split down the middle in our cat our cabins fucked
we're done we're just gonna have to prank the fuck out of them.
Who's there?
You and PFT are going to have to prank them.
No, don't.
Don't.
I stand the same.
What I said last night, I meant.
We've got to be worried about them because they have Hank,
and he was noncommittal on the no prank.
I'll handle Hank.
I'll handle Hank.
All right, Brandon, break it down for us.
Yeah, well, I thought White Sox Dave made a big mistake at first
by taking Chef Donnie, but then he got the NFL player secondly.
White Sox Dave getting KB in the fifth round is crazy value.
Yep.
And I would say Tate in the sixth.
KB and Tate is where he probably won the draft.
Although the other team getting Sidney Wells early is she –
some of this might come down to, like, how can you do things?
Can you figure things out?
And I think she can figure things out more than most of us idiots.
Yeah.
She's smart.
And worldly.
My fear was corrected.
I think I was overdrafted by Steven Chibnick.
You were overdrafted, for sure.
Yeah, and that's why I said fuck, because I was like,
if I'm getting drafted here, I'm going to be on a bad team
because you should use this pick on someone better.
Also, Mook was great late value, too.
I think everyone's around the same.
It's hard to tell.
I think we're going to be in trouble for softball tonight.
Che picking Nicky Smokes as his second pick was pretty fucking crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not as good an athlete as guys behind him.
We're not playing basketball, though.
Can I say another one?
Rudy and KB.
Oh, actually, no.
Che.
Ooh.
I like our team better than I thought.
Why?
Initially, I thought the fourth-round pick of Donnie was insane.
Yeah.
But I forgot how good Donnie is in water.
He can swim.
He dominates water.
That was a savvy move, Che.
Oh, wow, yeah.
Now I see.
Because I was like, Donnie's very good in water.
He's reasonably athletic, but he's not a fourth-round athlete.
But he is – he's a first-round pick in water.
Damn, that was smart, Che.
Good strat, Che.
That was really smart.
Fuck.
I think these are pretty even teams.
I think we're loaded.
But if you're doing physical things on water, like, I can't have a ball.
You went from, like, we're done to Donnie's on your team.
Donnie's a fucking – he's, like, literally a fish.
But wait a minute. How do you feel about tonight? Donnie's a fucking, he's like literally a fish.
How do you feel about tonight?
Softball, I think, is going to be a problem because Max and Mook and Hank and Tate all on the same team.
That's a very good softball team.
Like, we might struggle with softball.
We've got a good crew.
And just by nature of White Sox, Dave is good at softball.
Che is not.
So that's like a captain thing that kind of screwed us
Yeah, we can lose all the in the water tomorrow though is king of the blob right it's not all swimming
It's not all swimming. No, it's uh, so the team with an NFL offensive lineman a college wrestler and a college hockey player
Probably do pretty good. You think so, but will and I have wrestled before and it's never gone my way
Yeah, well is a really good wrestler, too.
Yeah.
Shit.
KB, remember?
I'm also tiny.
PFT can get low.
I can't do that.
I can't do that.
Nick is sneaky hard to bring down.
Okay.
Right, Nick?
I don't know.
I don't know.
No, I was disrespected by everybody.
Yeah, how you feel?
You got picked after LL. Yeah. I think people just forgot I don't know. No, I was disrespected by everybody. Yeah. You got picked after Ella.
Yeah.
I think people just forgot you were sitting there.
I won every competition in Barstool vs. America.
That's facts.
Then we got you for great value.
We.
Fuck you two.
Also, probably shock of the draft.
We really picked the teams after he was picked.
Yeah.
Shock of the draft was.
No, Che was the lead dog on all of them.
I saw you whispering.
Shock of the draft was White Sox. I just consulted with was the lead dog on all of them. I saw you whispering. Shock of the draft was White Sox Dave realizing –
I just consulted with him.
Knowing Ella's name.
I think so.
Yeah.
That was the shock of the draft.
Who was it?
White Sox Dave knowing Ella's name because I thought for a second when he's like,
Mr. Irrelevant, you.
He doesn't know.
He pulled it out.
He didn't say Ella.
He didn't go, right?
Right after.
He could have definitely just from the hip it.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
This is what it's all about, man.
This is what it's all about.
Summer camping.
Now our cabin, though, is...
We just got to...
We'll be all right.
Listen.
That's a neutral zone.
Turn it off when you're in the cabin.
Like in World War II, during Christmas, they stopped fighting for a day, and they had coffee,
and they hung out.
Not World War II.
Not World War II. They went back to war. Not World War II. Not World War II.
They went back to war.
Not World War II.
World War I.
Yes.
Sorry.
It was definitely World War I.
One of them.
One of the World Wars.
That we won, so it's all good.
Yes.
We won both those.
So you're implying that the other half of the cabin...
I'm saying at night, when it's all said and done, we can come together.
We were more like Tyrese Halliburton in World War I.
I don't know. We were on the team.
Yeah. I mean, America
won. History is written by the victors. That's true.
I feel good about what I said.
Just let him stew.
That's fucked up. That's fucked
up, dude. Kate, how'd you
vibe with the hens?
Thank you. We vibed really well. we had a good night we're all concerned about pooping we're not because you don't is anyone shit yeah I know yes
yeah no I took down our cabin already you shit in the cabin yeah because you
can chap slide to us it was like don't shit in the cabin and then I heard that
there's like it's like a jet power don't shit in the cabin. And then I heard that it's like a jet-powered...
Guys, don't shit in the cabin.
When I started to shit in the cabin, I literally looked at my phone.
That was one of the first texts I saw.
But it's a jet-powered flush, right?
Yes.
So we're good.
It was out of there just as fast as it was out of me.
We're good.
Yeah, there's a lot of misinformation being thrown around here.
Yeah.
About a lot of things.
I hate having to take you down.
Oh, no, Will, we're on the same team.
Never mind.
I was about to talk shit to you.
Damn.
We're good.
I was just trying to get in the flow of the game.
Yeah.
I hate having to take you down.
That was a good one.
Felt real authentic.
That was a terrifying chirp.
Softball might be 1,000 to nothing.
Yeah.
Who are you talking about?
It's a big ball.
16th softball.
That'll even the playing field.
Is there a run rule?
You wonder why you were drafted last.
With that attitude?
That's fucking a crazy attitude.
The reason I have the attitude is because of that.
Well, let's stop projecting. Let's build each other up. I wish Jacob was here. Yeah, we started off on a good note. You're fucking a crazy actor, Dan. The reason I have the attitude is because of that.
Well, let's stop projecting.
Let's build each other up.
I wish Che could play GeoGuessr.
Yeah, we started off on a good note,
building each other up.
I would love to see some Che GeoGuessr.
What?
Must be nice if it get drafted.
Che, were you just playing GeoGuessr?
Goddamn.
One, nothing Willy.
Hey, Donny.
For a moment there, I doubted the pick,
and then I forgot about water.
So I've rectified that.
You're a 1-1 water guy.
Jay is not a water guy.
Yeah, that was smart.
You're not a water guy, Jay?
I barely tread water.
Oh, shit.
Oh, we got to have you tread water tomorrow.
Donnie, you think you could beat us all combined?
Three minutes?
Yeah.
He says, look at this. I think I could beat the entire yak combined in treading water. Oh, this might be after that. No. No. Sub someone out. The next person takes over. Let's do that. Yeah. Can we do that? I mean, I might have to try. There's no way, right? I's a great amount of confidence. I think he can tread water forever.
I love that he's on our team.
Like over an hour?
I think he can tread water forever.
I don't know what does that take, though.
I don't know what it takes, but I know that he can tread water forever.
Yeah.
I don't even think we want to try because I actually agree with him.
Yeah.
We shouldn't.
There's no win for us.
Yeah.
We just look like idiots.
See you, Donnie.
Peace.
Brandon, now that you've seen the teams, are you a little upset you're not involved?
No.
No, I like the teams.
I think they're evenly matched, and you guys are going to have a great time together.
Brandon, we would like to extend an invite to have you play on our softball team.
Ah.
I would like to do that.
Okay, great. So we just signed Brandon for our softball team.
That was sad.
That was a great move.
That was huge.
Is Connor good at softball?
No, Connor's not good at anything.
We also are going to sign Ebo for our softball team.
Oh, no.
They'll take it.
It's a sign we just did.
I have an ingrown toenail.
Yeah.
We just, yeah.
So Ebo, you'll have to, Nick, you'll have to name a champion for softball.
Oh, fuck.
But I wanted to play.
I'll do Ebo. Okay, nice. Nick, do you always have an ing a champion for softball. Oh, fuck. But I wanted to play. I'll do Ebo.
Okay, nice.
Nick, do you always have an ingrown toenail?
Always.
It sucks.
I want to get the thing where you don't have toenails anymore.
Let's apply Ronan.
What is that thing?
It can get rid of your toenails.
They stop growing back.
What?
Really?
Yeah.
Nick, is your toenail back?
No.
Half.
I think they can take it they like burn it or something.
Really?
Yeah.
No shit.
I've never seen that.
I don't see the point.
Why do we even know?
Yeah, I don't either.
I know.
I don't know.
What are they doing down there?
You ever cut your toenails and you're like, damn, I haven't done this in probably 10 months.
Yeah.
How do they stay short?
Yeah.
I do.
I actually do have that exact moment.
Like it's probably six months.
Every six months.
It's like, what the hell?
Pat grows talons on his feet.
Does he grow them out?
He forgets, and then I'm like, oh, my God.
Yeah, I have half a toenail right now.
Just, it hasn't grown back at all.
Oh, God.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Ew.
Yeah.
That's going to cause issues.
This half is going to come off eventually. Probably, ew. Yeah. That's going to cause issues. This half is going to come off eventually.
Probably this week.
Yeah.
Then I'm just going to have a stubby little toenail.
That was toenail talk.
Brought to you by Mountain Dew.
Oh yeah, get that.
Yep.
Yeah, well, sun.
Ready?
Got a half a toenail.
Okay.
People are probably going to jerk off to that. Gross. Statistically. You got a half a toenail? Okay.
People are probably gonna jerk off to that. Gross.
Statistically.
Statistically they will.
Somebody will.
What else do you guys want to talk about?
What did Steven do on the prep sheet?
Oh yeah.
I'm just ready to go play games.
Right, that's what I'm thinking about.
What did he write?
Oh, it's on my mind.
Uh, what is your bunking situation? Who has the worst bunk? What did he write? It's on my mind.
What is your bunking situation?
Who has the worst bunk?
How was your first night?
Oh, camp counselor attempted to eat 30 pancakes this morning.
Did he do it?
He was at 25.
Does anyone know the answer?
I think he hit 31.
What?
31.
Yeah.
He ate 31.
Who's this?
Who did he do it for? One of the counselors.
And he was just kind of doing it quietly. No fuss. No muss. Like he was just kind of sitting there.
They're all Aussies, aren't they? There's a couple. Yeah, a couple.
I heard a buzz about it. I walked over and I was like, wow, what number you on? He was just like gently, he was like, oh, 25.
And he just kept going. They were thin.
They were small. They weren't like silver dogs. Yeah. We've got to have more eat-offs at this company.
Yeah.
Who's our two best eaters?
Max.
Is he a quantity guy?
Quantity guys are usually skinny and deceiving.
Probably Max after a shit.
Max versus Max.
A new eating competition show.
That would be awesome.
That would be awesome. Yeah, yeah.
He just eats five pancakes as fast as he can, takes a shit.
You eat it, Will?
You want to eat it?
I can put it down.
You will.
So what's the order going to be?
We've got to get this weekend.
The order of what?
I know you've got a place that you order from that your wife doesn't like.
No.
I'll probably get some
just like hole-in-the-wall Chinese.
Are you going to do some ice cream?
To where when you get done eating it, you're like, why did I do that?
Yeah, are you going to get some ice cream?
Yeah, Jenny's.
A lot of Jenny's, yeah.
And maybe bang-bang with Dairy Queen.
Wow.
You going to stay up real late and fall asleep
on the couch? Yeah.
There's rumors about a sleep Yeah. Cool. Wow.
There's rumors about a sleepover.
There are rumors.
Who?
You?
Maybe.
Might be.
I think it'll fall through, though.
Guys need to do it more.
Yeah.
I think it'll fall through.
But would you guys sleep in the same bed?
I would push for that and end up on the couch.
Because it's not really a sleepover.
Why would you have to sleep on the couch?
I would push for a sleepover in the same bed.
It's not a sleepover.
You sleep in different rooms. Different rooms is not a sleepover.
You have to sleep in the same room,
have somebody on the floor,
two people on the couch.
Yeah, but sleep in the same bed.
Gay wall.
Gay wall.
Sleep in the same bed.
Not for you?
No.
See, I think that's a fun deal.
It's exciting because you're back to childhood.
Roman warriors before battle used to rub each other's the curvature of their mushroom at the top of their dick
They rub each other each other
We'll put that on the list Roman warriors before battle to get each other amped up would rub each other's
They'd face each other and rub each other's a half pipe.'d have a... Dick to dick?
Finger.
No.
Finger to dick?
Finger to dick.
Oh, it wasn't like a tip-off, it was a finger situation.
It was war prep.
War prep.
What if you couldn't get a boner?
How do you, when did you come across that?
A book, history book.
Video.
Just get the boy's
amtow? Apparently the top of it is where
it's...
You're eating this up.
I'm going to have a hell of a sleepover
this weekend. It's war prep. They were into
some shit like that, though, with the Romans.
They would also lick each other's nipples.
Oh. I guess that would
kind of wake you up. Yeah, just ready for war.
Should our team do that?
You might have held it and thumbed.
Look it up.
Let's rewatch the video.
No, but it was, yeah.
Some guys would fight with stuff in their ass.
What?
What's the advantage there?
I don't know.
Or the honch.
Is that guy something in his asshole?
No, I bet that would get you fired up. If you're not used to it. You wouldn't get comfortable. Or the hunch. Yeah. Is that guy something in his asshole? No, I bet that would
get you fired up.
I think so.
If you're not used to it.
You wouldn't get comfortable.
No, exactly.
Yeah.
You'd be on edge.
That's why more people
wreck Harleys
than crotch rockets.
Too comfortable.
Good point.
Facts.
TJ reminded me
we have to do a towel whip.
Ah.
Oh, fuck.
Let's get a towel
and we'll spin the wheel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someone's got to get whipped.
Get a little rat tail going.
That's a great transition.
Two wheels, whipper and whippy.
Yep.
Steven Hearn?
Why is he limping?
Oh, no.
I've got a left leg deal going on.
Will, I'm going to need you.
We're going to have to take over this team.
Oh, yeah.
He's not a leader of men.
Oh, yeah.
We'll be all right. He's an ask
questions guy. Yeah. You need those guys. No, but he's like, we'll be mid-competition
and be like, wait, is this allowed? And be like, dude, we're trying to win here. Like,
that's the type of, so. I like our team. I like our team a lot. I love our team. I love
our team. Not one pick I would take back.
None.
Because the last pick we had to take.
It was right before battle, just up and down.
Not sexual.
Definitely not sexual.
War prep, boys.
We're talking strictly war prep.
War prep only conversation.
Oh, fuck.
You want to do the high noon read?
Who's got it?
Yeah.
Who's got a paper?
You want to do it high noon read who's got it yeah, he's got a paper yep
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High Noon.
Mm-mm.
It's up and down.
It's just up and down.
Every time I say something like that, I'm like, wow, that's going to exist longer than I'm alive.
You saying that?
It exists on the internet, me saying that.
Yeah.
Well, it's really just informative.
You're not doing anything wrong.
Yeah, it's a quick Google search.
Hey, are we going to be able to get you guys into the next case race?
I'm retired right now. When is it?
I don't know.
We haven't decided it, but did you see?
I mean, you guys would have been great.
I know, man.
We're going to do the Royal Rumble once a year.
Have to.
That did look like a blast. It was Royal Rumble. I know, man. We're going to do the Royal Rumble once a year. Have to.
That did look like a blast.
It was so much fun.
There's the towel.
With gas.
For the whipping.
Whipper and whippy.
Whipper and whippy.
Who's got water?
Got to wet it down.
It's damp.
Maybe a little Mountain Dew.
We got a cooler right there, right?
Oh, I have water right here in my...
Okay.
Let's do it. Let's do it.
Let's spin it.
At NFL level, is there still towel whipping in the locker room?
There's a little razzing going on.
A little razzing?
What about rubbing of dicks?
Yeah, you rub the tits.
With the thumb.
Yeah.
Right before the game.
Right before the game.
After you go in for warm-ups.
Right before the national anthem.
You do prayer, and then you do that. And then you go in for warm-ups, right before the national anthem, you do prayer and then you do that.
And then you go after the game.
We have a big circle and the head coach just goes around.
All right, circle around.
That's why it's called the head coach.
Look at him straighten the eyes. All 53 guys just proudly walking in.
It's like a smelling salt.
It's history.
Get you going. Smelling salt's like a smelling salt. Yeah.
Get you going.
Smelling salt is like an all time.
Oh, yeah.
We used to do it before podcasts.
Really?
Yeah, on Sunday nights.
We got amped up before our pod this week.
Yeah.
And I broke two microphones.
Really?
It was an accident.
It was truly an accident.
But yeah, I just got a little.
Did you drop it or like bite through it? No, I moved mine around a lot.
And I broke that one, then I moved over, and I tried to adjust that one.
That one broke as well.
Who's your guy's next white whale now that you've got Rich Eisen?
Vince Vaughn.
Which, of course, everyone knows is a white whale.
Rich Eisen?
Adam Sandler, I think would be sand.
Wait, Ryan who?
Ryan Reynolds.
Reynolds.
Yeah, mine's Vince Vaughn.
Vince Vaughn?
Yeah.
That'd be a good one.
That'd be incredible.
You know, maybe Vince, if you're watching this, come on on.
Yeah, come on.
He is actually a big Yak fan.
I could definitely see that.
Not even close.
Well, we could speak into existence.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Our fans are mutants.
And I say that in the nicest way possible.
That's why I love them.
They're head-turning.
Yeah.
They're head-turning.
Yeah.
They're not writing scripts.
All of them have, while they're sitting in the show,
have Googled the Roman thing.
Yes, the chat is definitely.
There's probably some people fact-checking Nick right now.
It's true. It's true.
It's true.
Actually, Nick... Somebody sees it and they still go check anyway.
It was with their mouths.
All right, TJ, spin it.
This is for a towel whipper.
Whipper.
We need to bring back Roman Warrior.
Wait, do you have Will and Taylor on there?
Yeah.
300.
Oh, Will's going to whip.
That's bad. Oh, fuck. That's bad. He definitely knows how to 300. Oh, Will's going to whip. That's bad.
Oh, fuck.
That's bad.
He definitely knows how to whip.
He's got a good wrist movement.
It's been a long time.
It's been a while.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
We have a cooler there with some water.
That might break skin.
You can spray this on it.
I really, you know.
Oh, God.
Oh, that's unfortunate.
Dreams do come true. Now, Will, don't take it easy. nothing you a bear skin this is me take your take your panties off, Kate. Those pro men competing with women.
All right.
I haven't actually dreamed about it.
An NFL player?
Cancel the will.
Katie Money Grabs.
All right.
Only fans.
Fuck me.
Oh, God.
Get her.
No, you can get it.
I'm, like, genuinely freaking out a little bit right now.
Listen, if you miss a couple times, it's okay, because it's...
We're going to be judging off the whip.
Fuck!
If you kind of miss, you keep going.
Kate, I will champion for you if you want.
Where are you going, Kate?
Kate, you're a Marine.
Yeah, you're a Marine.
You're tougher than the rest of us.
Fuck me!
Okay.
No, it's just towel whip.
It's just towel whip.
Where are you going?
Okay. Don't get my pussy. Please. No, it's just towel whip. It's just towel whip. Where are you going? Okay.
Don't get my pussy.
Will, get her pussy.
No!
Fuck!
Turn around.
Shit!
Yo, turn around, Kate.
Okay.
Oh, this is bad.
Hold on, let me take my phone out of my...
No, you gotta pull out a little bit.
I'm holding your phone over here. Okay, give me this is bad. Hold on. Let me take my phone out of my... No, you got to pull it out. I'm holding your phone over here.
Okay.
Give me a second.
It's insane.
No one's volunteered.
Okay.
Can I dance while it happens?
No.
No, you got to stay still.
I can't.
You have to.
You have to.
I can't.
Look over here.
Whoa!
Hey, look over here.
It's not that bad.
It's not that bad.
He's an NFL player.
Jesus Christ.
He's going to tone it down a little.
I don't want to tone it down.
It's not that bad.
It gets me right on the flap.
Sorry.
You have to stop.
You have to stop moving.
I know.
I'm such a pussy.
It's going to be over my top.
I know.
This is annoying to everyone.
You went to Iraq.
Face the tree.
I know.
Oh, my God.
Randy, restrain her.
No.
Yep.
Fuck.
Restrain her.
Just face the tree.
Think of the optics.
Okay.
All right. Come on, Kate.
Can you get my leg?
The side?
Side cheek.
I'm trying to.
My pussy.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
We will not stop until we get both.
Face the tree.
This is pussy.
Face the tree this
Is a perfect distance right now Okay. She's missing. You got to get closer. You got to get one step closer, Will. Okay, that wasn't that bad.
That wasn't that bad.
Oh, I was kidding the whole time.
That was fine.
She rolled it up.
You took it easy.
And that's what they call in the biz, being annoying.
The entire world's watching.
I'm really good at it.
But we just talked about how they're all mutants.
Vince Vaughn saw that.
That's going to be his next movie.
That wasn't bad at all.
Were you ready to do that, or did you need me to prep you?
He did get both cheeks, ladies.
I would have loved a good prepping.
Okay.
And I thought I caught her on that one.
You got my hand.
It really snapped.
In the beginning, the one that snapped.
That one caught your hand?
Yeah, it got my hand.
And I made it.
How many whips have you all done?
Titus usually whips. Four or done? Titus usually whips.
Four or five?
Titus is incredible at whipping.
I think that's what freaked me out so bad is the sound of Titus's whips
really sounds like it could break scale.
It sounds bad.
He rolls it up perfectly.
He's like a medieval executioner, the way he prepares it.
He's got the mask on and everything.
Yeah.
Oh, what a rush.
Highly recommend it.
It's nothing.
It's nothing.
Easy peasy.
The pussy comment was so...
Yeah, you know what I mean?
That would be nice.
They did that, I think.
I want a pussy to get hit.
Yeah.
Don't hit my pussy.
I mean, I wasn't thinking about it,
but the minute you said that, Kate,
I was like...
It's the only location.
You have to.
It's the only location you want.
I would have been afraid of the recoil.
Would've just swallowed it.
It snapped back at Will.
The towel gone.
Suck it up.
The towel disappeared.
Damn it.
Lisa, we need another towel.
Oh my god.
Yep.
Oh.
All right, I guess we should spin our wheel
and start playing some games.
So we're going to be live for basically the next three hours.
Oh, look at that.
Oh, that's a great setup.
Yeah.
So that's the fence, I think, for the softball game.
Very cool.
Oh, dang.
So you're not trying to hit bombs here?
I mean, with the fence, you will be able to hit.
Like, Max will hit bombs.
Okay.
Max is not like that, huh?
Oh, yeah. Dude, did you see him in our home run thing?
I haven't.
Speaking of which,
we have a thing coming up, a stream coming up.
Can you guys be there for?
Jack McCarthy asked you.
It's September 4th,
Wednesday.
We got our gambling show on Wednesday.
Yeah.
It's in the afternoon.
Okay.
So you're going to send the jet?
No.
Okay.
That was worth a shot.
You got to come for pro football anyway.
That's on Thursday.
Yeah, I know, but come Wednesday.
Wait.
It feels Wednesday evening.
It's Wednesday afternoon.
We're doing a stream that's very similar to the 41 free throws.
What do you got to do?
Punt catch.
Full pads?
Like 10 of us, and we're not leaving the field until we do it.
It's going to be awesome.
How many?
I don't know.
I haven't figured out the number.
No, punt returns.
Punt catches.
And then you're trying to return and get tackled.
No. Just fielding punts.
And what's the goal?
We have to get a certain amount in a row
consecutively. Always.
Is it on a jugs machine or an actual punter?
I think we're going to get the special jugs machine that does
spin and shit.
That'll be a long string.
It is difficult.
Yeah, it's going to take a long time.
I think it's going to be similar where Dave and I have to get the first two,
and then we've got to get the last two.
And then everyone's got to get two in between.
I think everybody stands relatively aware of where it's going to be
after the first few rounds of messing up.
It's going to go a lot faster.
But I think we're going to throw in wrinkles like we'll have to do rounds
where you have your back to the punt, then you turn around once the ball's in the air.
Yeah, it's not a whole lot of movement.
I can do that.
Yeah.
Put me down as a tentative yes.
Okay.
Will, I'm going to put you down as a yes, too.
Yeah, Will's for sure.
This is, planning anything with you two is just.
That's why we got to say tentative.
I think we're pretty good at it.
It's torture.
We've gotten better. But I do need an actual
final answer on Thursday because this is going to be
something that people are going to be able to do free to play on draft.
September 4th? Yeah. What if you get
invited to Beyonce's birthday? Could this be a situation where we show up later?
No. Still holding out for that?
You say no to... It's a good point. My question?
It's a good point. Yeah. What was your question?
Is it... Could it be one of the
situations where we show up later? It's like when they were doing the
free throws, like, they would have guys come in
Not that we'd be like a like an appearance. I'm just thinking about our day that day
What time you start out there and we're starting like three four if we do our gambling show
You know eight or seven right have to work early in the morning
and then stay and do a
Yeah, I will talk about it after
Apologize I just got a text that removed the date,
and I know you guys could possibly do that date,
which would be great.
Speaking of dates, Dave sent a very important email
that we have to do, and I've already forgot it.
Oh, Jack McCarthy said you can show up a little late,
so that's perfect.
Oh, great.
Great.
Tentative yes for me.
That's a yes.
I'll put me in as a maybe.
That's a no. Great. Tentative yes for me. That's a yes. I'll put me in as a maybe. That's a no.
Unfortunately.
Who, like, keeps you guys in line?
Who's telling you?
Do you have, like, a person?
I was saying yesterday that Will needs a person just walking behind him at all times.
And Will has to, like like if you were to get
will to his maximum efficiency he needs a person walking behind him and will has to vocalize every
thought in his head that's the only way that we could get to him maximum like yeah every single
thought needs to be said out loud yeah and the person just needs to be behind him being like no
will that's a bad idea don't do do that. Like, think about this again.
Yeah.
Yeah, we got to get you like a service dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, you do.
It sounds like he's the dog in this movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Walking behind you.
So we need a service human.
Yeah.
A service human.
If you wear a vest, it's like, don't touch me.
Yeah.
Do not feed this dog.
Not engaged with this human. I'm just on a leash. Do not pet this dog. I'm just on a leash.
Do not pet this dog.
He's trying to remember the Tyreek Hill story.
One month ago.
That was two years ago.
Was it?
Yeah.
I just saw the clip.
It just resurfaced.
Got it.
Got it.
All right, TJ, let's spin the wheel, and then we'll go play some games.
That makes much more sense now on you thinking it was a week ago.
Yeah, because I saw the clip.
It's kind of tough to remember that story.
All right, we'll reset.
You guys are welcome to come on the Yak again tomorrow.
I'll be here, man.
What is this for?
Just to get with you.
Maybe you might have to get wet.
Or eat an entire Jamiroquai doll over the course of a year a very realistic jamiroquai doll that was quite expensive
That's something you need some lunch, man
Brandon do you have any pre-written jokes for commentary? No. What?
I do.
Yeah?
You better believe it.
Aren't you a ref?
No, I'm a sideline reporter.
Oh, hell yeah.
Okay.
All right, we're great.
All right, so tune in.
Where are we streaming from?
Main.
Main accounts.
Main accounts.
We'll be live pretty much for the next four hours,
and then we'll be back on the Yak tomorrow,
and then water games tomorrow.
Thank you, boys.
All right. Let's go.
Let's go win.
Yeah. Outro Music Watch the mainstreams.
See you tomorrow.
Love you, bye.