The Yak - The Yak & Josh Richards Join The Jersey Jerry Army | The Yak 10-1-21
Episode Date: October 2, 2021Sick chain JerYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Hello.
Wow, this TV's fucking me up now.
It's all...
Very special guest today, but before we get to that...
We have a creed that we would like to...
We start every show with, so let's say it.
Yep.
Oh yeah, that's actually good.
KB's...
KB...
Just show our guest.
It is Kyle Bauer and Jersey Jerry.
I don't have a creed.
What?
Your phone.
Oh, okay.
Are we ready?
Oh, I don't think so at all.
Sorry, I didn't know.
Was this written during the last show?
Okay.
You got it?
It was an emergency creed.
Shall we start?
Yeah.
You start us off.
Here we go. No, you don't put your hand up, Jerry. Don't put your hand up. You don't put your hand up. You don't put your was an emergency creed. Shall we start? You start us off. Here we go.
No, you don't put your hand up, Jerry.
Don't put your hand up.
You don't put your hand up.
You don't put your hand up.
All right.
Three, two, one.
Jerry Army Pledge.
Today is the day, a day that cannot be missed.
Today is the day in which I enlist.
Through the good times and the bad times,
even when all hope is lost,
I vow to protect Jersey Jerry,
no matter the cost.
I pledge to be obedient,
to only speak when spoken,
to take a bullet for Jerry
when his body is broken.
I will travel the world
by plane, train, or the bus to take
on any large men on
any campus.
The Jerry Army is my home
that I cannot deny.
The Jerry Army is my
home until the day I
die.
What'd you think?
That makes me emotional.
Yeah? Let it out.
You know, like I said, I've always had the Jersey Jerry Army,
but ever since I started recruiting,
now it's getting a lot bigger and it's getting real special.
I'm excited.
I think we're at a point now where, like,
we want to just throw in something out there like Storm the Capitol.
In Washington.
Yeah, we could.
We could.
We have enough.
I think so.
I think we have enough.
I think so.
Brandon knows exactly where to go and not get caught.
Why's that, Brandon?
It's not a big deal.
He was there.
He was there.
But Jersey Jerry's our special guest on the Yak today.
First time.
How many members would you say the Jersey Jerry Army has at present?
Honestly, I'd say between 2,500 to 3,000.
Wow.
Seriously.
Wow.
That could take over.
Yeah, fuck Washington.
What small country could a 3,000-man army?
The Maldives.
Tuvalu.
Tuvalu, for sure.
Oh, that'd be easy.
Let's go get it.
I don't even know where Tuvalu is.
Would we be able to get the travel to go to Tuvalu?
It's an island nation. It's about to sink. I don't even know. Would we be able to get the travel to go to Tupelo? It's an island nation.
It's about to sink.
I think we would be able to take over Rhode Island.
Isn't that a very small state?
Yeah, it is.
It's a storm province.
Also an island, yeah.
I love it.
But Jerry, welcome.
Thank you.
The Yak is free-flowing, so there's no schedule.
There's nothing.
We're just here to hang out with our friends.
No problem.
I like this.
Yeah, it's a good vibe.
So now you guys are all, you guys are official Jersey Cherry Army.
I think we're more official than everyone else.
We just had a pledge.
We pledged to you.
I think so.
We said till the day we die.
I think so, too.
Till our body, we'll take a bullet because your body is broken.
For sure, yeah.
How broken is your body, by the way?
It's in shambles.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
So what's wrong with it?
What piece?
My back.
Oh, did you wrestle in high school?
No.
You look like a district runner-up from Rancocas Valley.
No, never wrestled.
No, he was blue-collar.
Yeah.
Working gas lines.
Are you saying wrestlers can't be blue-collar?
No, I know, but that's why his...
No, I'm saying why his back is broken.
I don't think there's any white-collar wrestlers.
There's a lot of white-collar wrestlers.
Mean Street Posse?
Yeah.
Big Gas?
Joey Abbs?
That's pretty good.
What do you mean, it's pretty good?
It's pretty good.
What do you think I...
Don't fucking patronize me.
I think he's gatekeeping wrestling.
Yeah, he is.
No, no, no.
You don't even have a wrestling...
Remembering the members of the Mean Street Posse is impressive.
You don't even have a wrestling podcast.
Remembering the members...
I had CM Punk on my
podcast. I had more of a wrestling podcast than you.
I did 150,000 views with CM Punk last week.
On your podcast? Yes. On the podcast? Yes.
We did a YouTube exclusive with wrestling.
That's not a podcast. That's a podcast
adjacent. Podcasts cannot be seen.
The second they're seen, that's a show.
Yeah, it becomes a TV show.
Sorry for that, Jerry.
I didn't mean to have that happen.
It's okay.
You shouldn't be...
You shouldn't have been on your podcast on video last night?
We shouldn't have these type of fights around you.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
Brandon's getting out of line.
We'll take care of him later.
It's just impressive that you knew the members, not just the...
No, you patronized me.
That's not patronizing.
I was impressed.
I'm sorry.
You tapped me on my head.
Like I was finished with your blowjob.
No, I'm just actually surprised at Brandon.
I really am.
He's a fucking jerk.
My name is Brandon.
Brandon.
Yeah, he's saying it correctly.
No, I'm just surprised because last week I did the pick central,
and then I was walking out, and he said to me,
I don't know if I like you or I don't like you yet.
I said, okay, well, maybe soon you'll like me. Why you do that yeah so i was i'm surprised he made all that up
brendan's not a really easy guy remember on the chair you said i don't know what to make of you
yet that's what i said i didn't say i don't like you yet no he said you don't know which one though
i said i don't know what to make of you yeah yeah that's fair that was i'm surprised that he's he's
part of the army now i didn't know what to make of him. I got bullied into doing the Creed.
So you're not part.
You're out.
No, I just got bullied into doing the Creed.
He's not part.
Do you want him in or no?
He's the Dan Bilzerian of this army.
I don't think so now.
He said he doesn't want you.
That's not what I said.
I said I didn't know what to make of you.
I think you're out.
You want to get...
Yeah, let's get him out.
Does everybody here know what to make of Jerry immediately?
I know exactly what to make of him.
He's a fucking hilarious dude.
Blue collar. Blue collar.
Blue collar.
Stealing.
Just getting second thoughts now.
Signs.
About what?
Brandon.
Yeah, he's not an easy guy to get along with.
I'm the easiest guy here to get along with.
You kidding me?
I'm adaptable as hell.
That's true.
Owen is like, you could just put Owen in any social setting
and he'd be fine
he's the tofu
of friend groups
he takes on the flavor
fried tofu
alright sorry Jerry
that was a tough start
he had to get all
I didn't get all anything
it's okay
welcome Jerry
thank you Brandon
you afraid Jerry's
gonna steal your shtick?
No.
No.
I'm not.
Jerry, did you tell your union that you're out?
Yeah, they know.
What'd they say?
Well, the supervision is happy.
Yeah, why is that?
Because, you know.
No, because I always work overtime, a lot of overtimes.
And I'm one of the highest guys in the shop, so they don't have to worry about me
no more. Got it. But the guys are gonna
miss me. I'm gonna miss my guys, too, you know?
You gonna show up every now and then?
Yeah, for sure. Just say hello?
Yeah, for sure. I would.
They're good guys, you know?
They deserve a lot more respect than they're given
on a daily basis. I give them respect.
I just want that on the record.
Let's go around the room. Anyone else? I give them respect as well. I give them respect. I just want that on the record. Let's go around the room.
Anyone else?
I give them respect as well.
I give them respect.
I was the last one to say.
Any of them just like,
are they lazy,
hang out under a beam?
Some, yeah.
Some aren't hard workers.
You know what I mean?
But the guys who aren't hard workers,
those are the type of guys
who usually buy you lunch
and stuff like that.
That's weird.
Okay.
It's a give and a take.
Yeah, exactly.
Now, what was the...
Did you have a final...
Wait a minute.
Brandon buys us lunch all the time.
That's not...
You said you'd buy it today.
No, I didn't.
Lomo Saltato.
You said you're going to get a Lomo Saltato.
Oh, that's too expensive to buy six of those.
Dan can handle that.
I can handle that.
Jerry, when they closed the book on your employment,
was there a final tally of regulations you know, regulations that you broke?
What do you mean regulations?
Or not regulations, safety protocols that you...
Oh, yeah, I'm always in the office for not wearing a hard hat or not wearing steel-toe boots, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But no, my book is still open.
I'm still paying my dues.
Oh, okay.
All right.
So, yeah.
God forbid.
So, you can be in the union as long as you pay dues. It doesn't matter if you work there? Yeah, you pay your dues. Oh, okay. Alright, so we, so yeah. God forbid. So you can be in the union as long
as you pay dues, doesn't matter if you work there? Yeah, you pay your dues.
Can I pay dues? Well, you're not in the union.
Right, but could I?
If you got in the union. If you got in the union, correct.
Could I just pay dues, though?
Yeah, I mean, you would have to start somewhere.
But if I just wanted to send them a check every month.
I mean, I don't know how that
works. I mean, possibly, you know.
Almost strong on my way into the union. Yeah. Yeah, you probably could. Okay, I might't know how that works. I mean, possibly, you know. Almost strong on my way into the union.
Yeah.
Yeah, you probably could.
Okay.
I might think about doing that.
Just start sending it.
What's everyone else got going on today?
Owen's going to Charleston.
You're going to Charleston?
True.
Yeah.
It was a very awkward situation in the kitchen this morning.
Which one?
Which Charleston?
South Carolina.
For what?
Sister's birthday.
Oh, right on.
That's going to be beautiful.
It was kind of awkward because I asked KB what he was doing this weekend.
He said, got no plans.
And then Owen was like, I'm going to Charleston.
I feel like KB's plans were to just do whatever Owen was doing.
I invited him.
You did not.
It really hurt KB.
Jerry, you were like a party guy?
No, no.
I'm sober.
I don't drink.
I don't sleep.
Same, same, same.
Yeah. Actually, that's true. I don't drink. I don't sleep. Same, same, same. Yeah.
Actually, that's true.
He is.
Five weeks.
Five weeks?
Yeah, the beginning.
If you ever want advice.
I'm six years.
Six years?
Yeah.
Okay.
So if you want to ever go to a meeting or you ever want to talk.
All right.
Do it.
Appreciate that.
You should do it.
You should do that now.
I'm not struggling, though.
I'm happier than ever.
Are you? I'm seeing right through that. You're craving contact. You that now. I'm not struggling, though. I'm happier than ever. Are you?
I'm seeing right through that.
You're craving contact.
You look constantly.
I am.
Oh, fuck.
I tossed Owen on his back.
I heard it.
Everyone was eating.
Yeah, everyone.
You heard him.
Well, you heard my back.
Yeah, I heard your back hit the ground.
Yikes.
Yeah, bullying in the office.
You should start drinking.
I enjoy it.
Yeah, you like getting tossed around.
KB, Owen, myself, Kate.
We're filming a new show today.
New show.
Produced by Hank.
Yes.
Wait, what's it called?
We don't have a name yet.
We don't have a name.
KB, Owen, Nick, Kate.
Yeah.
Hank produced?
Yep.
Yes.
How long until it gets cut and deleted?
No, it's a video series.
How often will it come out?
I think it's going to be... We're going to try to do it weekly,
bi-weekly. Probably bi-weekly.
Is that two times a week? Once every two weeks.
That's semi-weekly.
Semi-weekly is twice a week?
No, semi-weekly is once every two weeks.
You're talking about bi-monthly.
Bi-weekly is interchangeable.
Bi-weekly is two times a week.
I've seen it used twice.
Semi-weekly is once every two weeks a week. I've seen it used. Semi-weekly is once
every two weeks. No.
I've seen it used both ways in professional writing.
In academic journals. I'm saying semi-weekly.
Bi-weekly is two times?
I think it's semi-monthly is two times.
No, that's semi-monthly.
Or twice a week.
It's interchangeable. That's bullshit.
That's bullshit.
Atojins. Atojins. No a very different thing. I told you.
What about every two weeks you do two times a week?
I can't even...
Then it would truly be bi-weekly.
So you go two times a week, week off,
two times a week. But then we'd put them out
every week? You would have both definitions of
bi-weekly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You go two times a week. It's the bi-weekly show.
So you go two times in one week, take a whole week off.
Then two times in one week, then take a whole week off.
Bi-weekly, bi-weekly, bi.
So Jared, do you have any vices?
Bi-ober?
Yeah, I mean, I'd say responsibly gambling.
Gambling, yeah.
And then this thing, I can't stop.
The vape. Yeah, it's bad. Video games? I gotta stop. You got a And then this thing. I can't stop. Ah. The vape.
Yeah, it's bad.
Video games?
You gotta stop.
I gotta stop.
You got a kid now.
Yeah, I got a kid.
Who's a mush.
He's 0-2 lifetime.
Yeah.
Lifetime.
That's hard to say that you've never won lifetime.
I think Frank says it.
It's scary.
Imagine if the Steelers just literally never win another game.
For the rest of the season?
No, for the rest of his life.
I don't know about that.
I can't.
Imagine.
You're pushing it, Big Cat.
Yeah.
Why me?
Easy now, Big Cat.
He lives to 90.
Steelers never win a game.
It's unheard of.
A 90-year losing streak.
What's your boy's name?
If you don't mind me asking.
My name.
Oh, nice.
Gerard.
Yes.
But I'm Jerry Jr. Yeah, but I'm Jerry, mind me asking. My name. Oh, nice. Gerard. Yes. Jerry Jr.
Yeah, but I'm Jerry, though.
Okay.
Jersey Jerry.
Yeah.
Always.
Always.
Did you make that chain?
But you're Jerry with a J?
No, one of the welders made this chain.
Masterful job.
Yeah, Jersey Jerry.
You see the state of New Jersey?
Yeah, I see the background.
Yeah, I didn't notice that, but now I do.
There it is.
I thought it was...
And the thing is, it's subtle.
I thought it was just an old man with a chest tumor.
It does look like, yeah, like wearing an old army cap.
Like a depressed chef.
Yeah, a depressed chef.
He ate all his food.
Jersey is shaped like a depressed chef.
Damn, Brandon.
What's your allegiance to Pittsburgh?
Just the colors Growing up
Yeah
It's convenient
Nick's a Steelers fan
Oh really?
Yes
Awesome
Cross the board Pittsburgh
Awesome
That's great
We're Ohio River boys
Okay
The best of the three
Yeah
What's the other three?
The other two
The
Say I'm taking it away.
Monongahela.
Monongahela.
The Three Rivers?
I don't...
He knows everything about the Steelers.
You don't need to know the Three Rivers.
Come on.
Allegheny.
He's a fan of the football team, not geography.
Okay.
Yeah.
God.
This is making our guests feel uncomfortable.
So Allegheny's your favorite of the three rivers?
Yeah, of course.
It has to be.
Always my number one.
You're more of Ohio River guy?
Yes.
What's the third?
Monongahela.
That's mine.
That's mine too.
That one's pretty nice.
That one's pretty nice.
Monongahela?
Yeah.
Nailed it.
Monongahela.
Kyle, you see there's a new security guard?
No, he's not new.
Unless they all look alike
he's not new
no but
new in terms of you haven't tested him yet
yeah we should test him
he always brings it up
he's like I
don't try anything
have you only tested one guy
yes
so this guy looks like he fights dirty
and by that he
you don't even know you're fighting him
until you're dead
how do you test him
I grab him up
squeeze him a little bit
tie up
under hooks
squeeze Kyle oh you wrestle well squeeze he's a squeezer them. I grab them up, squeeze them a little bit. Tie up under hooks.
Oh, you wrestle. Well, squeeze.
I try to make that as obvious as possible with every person I meet.
How you walk.
You got wrestler vibes.
I'm telling you. Really? He does.
Nah, I tried.
I tried, but I didn't like it. Well, you got a big
fight coming up. Have you started training?
October 4th.
What was the delay?
Somebody here at Barstool just has to contact Slick Anderson, my trainer, and just set things up.
Got it.
Slick Anderson's a good trainer.
Nobody told Slick Anderson he was going to be training.
Monday.
No, not yet.
Okay.
Okay, so Monday, are you going to go on a diet?
Yeah.
And then you're going to cut?
Slick Anderson, incredible boxing trainer. You have to gain? Yeah. And then you're going to cut? Slick Anderson. No, I have to gain.
You have to gain?
Yeah.
Why?
I have to gain 14 pounds now.
Why?
I have to be at 200.
Oh, you have to fight at his weight?
I'm pretty sure.
You can be under.
No, I think you can be under.
You sure?
Because Devin said...
He said I had...
You might be right.
You might be right.
I have to be 200.
What are you now?
186.
Just put some rocks in your pocket.
Yeah, we can change.
And then they said 16-ounce gloves, not 12-ounce.
I think it is 16-ounce.
It's kind of a big glove.
You're going to knock him out, though.
It's a big glove.
I think so.
You think so?
You got that southpaw.
Yeah, lefty.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank you.
I don't like your attitude towards Jerry.
No, no, that was just one.
That was such a high and mighty spot today. That wasn't high and mighty.
That was spot today.
Well, he's on the other guy's side.
That's true.
He's not on the other guy's side.
He said it.
I told you I haven't decided yet.
All right, you're out of the Jerry army, officially.
I'm not out of the Jerry army.
Yes, you are.
Okay, that's fine.
What is Nadeau's kryptonite?
Never mind.
What's his skill?
Skill?
Yeah.
I don't think he has any.
Yeah.
I don't think he has any. Yeah. I don't think he has any skills.
I think that's accurate.
Could you ever think how crazy it is if Julio Jones is ruled in?
I know.
The signs.
I know.
Jerry doesn't get enough credit for it.
So for people who don't know the backstory, I don't know if I've ever actually said it
other than a tweet.
Jerry called me up in the middle of an NFL Sunday and he said, Big Cat, he FaceTimed
me. He's like, Big Cat, he FaceTimed me.
He's like, Big Cat, I just ripped a Derek Jeter card.
It's the middle of the Seahawks-Titans game.
He's like, I just ripped a Derek Jeter card.
Number two.
Who wears number two for the Titans?
Julio Jones.
Julio Jones to score the next touchdown.
So I put $1,000 on it to win $7,000.
Julio Jones scored a touchdown.
He scored.
And they ruled it incomplete after like a six-minute review.
But if you look at any picture, we got completely screwed.
But the signs were correct. Yeah, and we said we're going to go into the founder's office
and we're going to present something and try to get our money back.
Yeah, we're going to get our money back.
When they change the rule, we're going to get our money back.
Yep.
But yeah, what signs we got going right now?
The sign I told you about.
The Steelers?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Where was that sign?
What's the sign?
Well, you know, a lot of NFL teams coming off a big win.
The next week, they kind of downplay.
You'll notice that a lot.
And that's what the Packers are going to do Sunday.
They're going to downplay the Steelers.
Steelers' defense is finally going to be healthy.
You know, we got Deontay Johnson coming back.
I understand the problems with the offensive line.
I get that.
I respect that.
But trust me, you go back and watch Big Ben versus Aaron Rodgers, the games they play.
Very close games.
Big Ben's washed.
Not yet.
Not yet.
Close, but not yet.
He's pretty washed.
You can't blame him, though.
His body is broken.
His body is broken.
His body is broken.
Dad, I agree with.
Yes.
But the offensive line is the problem right now.
Big problem.
You need Willie Colon back.
Yeah, he works here, no?
I don't think we don't know.
We're not sure.
He did.
I was looking forward to meeting him.
I could still set that up for you.
Really?
Yes. That's cool. Yeah. Absolutely. Big guy, right? Is he big in person? Yeah. Oh, yeah. He did I was looking forward to meeting him I could still set that up for you Really? Yes
That's cool
Yeah
Absolutely
Big guy right?
Is he big in person?
Yeah
Huge
Yes
Huge guy
Bigger in person
Yeah
Wow
Toss you around
Oh I bet
Yeah
Not you?
Maybe
Toss you around?
Move me maybe
I don't think
I think you'd
You'd handle him
Thank you.
Brandon, so what's your problem today?
I don't have a problem.
Don't just manifest this problem.
Just keep saying it over and over, and then it's a thing.
I don't have one.
Did you see Stephen Chase' prep sheet about your young picture, Brandon?
Is this the most amount of surface area you've ever seen utilized by a face?
What?
Jesus Christ. Oh, that picture. Oh my god.
Your face has taken up a lot of face.
It is really...
It's a school shooter.
I didn't get a whole lot of pussy back then.
Oh, someone's trying to
fish for an invite.
Is he floating around the sides here?
Wow, that's interesting.
People probably think we're saying Frank. Wow, that's interesting.
People probably think we're saying Frank. No, it's not Frank.
No, it's not Frank. Frank's not in today.
Frank's not in today? No, I don't think so.
Frank came back to the office last night after the Mets
game and was just wearing like a
I don't even know what it
was. It was like a souvenir helmet
and it just looked sad.
It was like midnight. I was
walking out and he was walking out
yeah that's sad stuff i made you laugh jerry you vaping over there yeah a little bit i'll put it
away it's like one of the perks here i guess you will you you did you did vape at your old job
even though you weren't supposed to well that's that's outside. Yeah, but it's dangerous. You're not supposed to. But you would do it
all the time.
Well, I'm out now, so it don't matter,
right?
Yeah, but they get scared with
the electrical device around
the gas and stuff like that. It causes a
spark and then you're dead.
I see that.
You're like, fuck it, I'm just still gonna...
Well, I don't like... If there's live gas blowing, I'll hit it, gonna I don't like
if there's live gas like blowing
I'll hit it but I won't
how Jersey Jerry
died vaping oh he vaped that
much no no no no once
just once
20 Nick
there's no OSHA here so I know Just once. 20, Nick.
There's no OSHA here.
I know.
It's a big thing.
What?
Like OSHA.
Yeah.
What are you going to say?
The people booze on the job.
So, yeah.
Yes.
A lot.
Oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
There's guys.
Like flasks. You ever see those Stanley mugs? Oh, that's. You know, there's guys. Like flasks.
You ever see those, like, Stanley mugs?
Oh, that's got booze.
Like coffee, but then they, you know.
Yeah, whatever works.
Yeah, you know.
Some guys, they have to.
Yeah, yeah.
You know.
Oh, where's the pizza?
The draws will kill them.
Is there pizza here?
Is there pizza?
Mm-hmm.
Who brought in pizza?
Josh Richards did a review, I think.
No, but that was different pizza.
We got a guy waiting for an interview behind us.
You think he brought the pizza?
I don't know.
He looks nervous.
Should we interview him?
Can we?
He has flowy hair.
He does, and he's tapping his legs.
Uh-oh.
He looks like Joey Molinero a little bit.
Should we interview him? He might be. He does a Joey Molinero a little bit. Should we interview him? He might be.
That'd be great.
He does a Joey Molinero impression.
We've got Josh Richards waiting out on that side.
Who are we picking?
Josh or this guy?
Jerry, why don't you grab him up?
Uh-oh.
Should I get him? Yeah, grab him up.
Wait a minute.
Hurry up.
He's bailing.
Oh, he know.
Maybe he didn't get the job.
He's on an important phone call, I guess.
Ebony gets so pissed when people don't see that there's a button to leave.
Of course people don't see that.
People don't automatically look for a button.
Oh, there's a handle on this door.
Where's the button so I can open it?
I always look for a button.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
Please.
The door.
There it is.
TJ, how'd you do on the dozen yesterday?
Oh, was it your first game?
I did all right.
Personally, I thought.
Yeah?
We lost.
Who tanked your team then?
I think you guys are just a better team.
I agree.
It was our first game.
We'll be back.
We did better than other teams.
Was Brandon in a bad mood last night?
Is it a carryover from...
Is it a carryover?
He wouldn't say...
There was a music question, so he wouldn't say,
and who's that WAP girl?
What'd you say?
He was talking about WAP a lot.
We were doing the top five.
Listen to his voice. He is so angry.
What music artists have top five songs in the last five years,
and I thought it was the WAP girls.
Cardi B.
Yeah, and I didn't know who they were, so I said,
let's say the WAP girls, and they kept the wet-ass pussy girls.
And I kept having to say it because they would never say my answer. It was incorrect. wop it's wop i said wop on the show and then they said wap
no not wap it's not what that sounds ridiculous well ass is speaking of who's got why is that
speaking of oh okay they're just oh yeah what's up yeah come sit in. Yeah. Yes. This is Frank the Tank in one day and Josh Richards the next.
Yeah.
Josh, what's up?
Natural progression.
Have you met Jersey Jerry, Josh?
No.
Hey, friend.
What's up, man?
How did you know that was Jersey Jerry?
How did you guess that was him?
You have to look to him.
Yeah.
That's the look.
How do you know?
Jersey look a little bit.
Anything else about him?
Anything else that gives away that he's Jersey Jerry?
Oh, shit.
I didn't actually even see that.
Lucky guess.
It's an understated piece.
How much did that piece cost you?
Free.
Wow.
What?
So you stole it from someone?
No, a welder made it.
Oh, wow.
Snatched it.
That was free?
The chain was free?
Who would he steal that from?
Who else would have a Jersey cherry chain?
The chain is my chain.
Got it.
So you custom put it on.
So did that guy give that to you to be on a necklace, or did he just give you a circle?
No, he thought I was going to put it on the wall, but I said, forget that.
I want to wear it.
Yeah, that makes sense.
In case you forget your name or something.
Yeah, exactly.
That makes sense.
So wait, so Josh, if people don't know, BFF's with Dave.
Josh is the co-host of that.
He's in the office today.
Can you explain real quick, like, were you part of the houses?
Yeah.
Okay, so what happened?
Tell me, give me like the, I'm an old guy who doesn't understand this.
I'm actually talking for Brandon here.
Brandon.
But explain it to brandon all
right yeah brandon so essentially it's actually brandon brandon is brandon brandon jerry brandon
brandon i just need to make sure i'm getting right so brandon um yeah essentially what it is
it's this group of guys it's it's like it's like a frat house and they're just filming their lives
it's just no i i got it okay oh whoa it looked like how what granddaughter showed you
that was good yeah burned did you plan all this no i didn't plan any of this um and is it oh are
the houses over i mean ours is ours is over it's how did it end poorly uh i wouldn't say it
end poorly i'd say it's just like everyone's doing their own shit at that point like people
were just going off and kind of figuring out what they like i was going more into like the
entrepreneurial space and then god rice is going more into like just partying space it's classic
price it's just like you know what i'm saying so everyone's doing their own shit so you went to the
entrepreneurial space and he went to the party space yeah i'd say so that's the two routes people wait give us the names of the guys yeah yeah so there was uh blake noah bryce anthony quinton
keo keo that would have been my guy so what happened to jayden what what happened to jayden
and quentin jayden's a performer now yeah opening for Opening for MGK. He tossed an X in his name, didn't he?
He just said fuck the vowels.
He threw a little like...
Yeah.
He's not a big vowel guy.
He doesn't fuck with vowels.
He hates vowels.
He doesn't fuck with vowels.
You could do that?
You could just...
All over again.
I'm pretty sure.
I'm going to spell...
All right.
From here on out, Nick, the I is an X.
Okay.
Yep.
That's sick.
Thanks, man.
No, it has a good look to it.
Yeah.
You should get a chain with it on there.
Yeah.
You think so?
Can you get... you know a guy?
Yeah, I could have him make it for you.
A welder?
Yeah.
NXCK.
How is Michael?
Oh, he's living.
You know, doing deals probably right now.
Who is that?
Who are you talking about right now?
Gruen.
Gruen.
Got it.
Yeah.
Got it.
Who actually was-
He went under the knife.
Oh, yeah.
He got surgery.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He had surgery on his hand.
He punched a wall.
Oh, I thought he had lap pain. Oh, I thought he had lap band.
I was just a little pent-up rage, you know?
It was lap band surgery?
No.
That's what you just said.
That's what...
Never mind.
You said lap band surgery.
That's the fat surgery?
Oh, that's not what just happened, though.
No.
He had a wrist surgery.
So he's had multiple surgeries?
He is going to go get a surgery for his weight as well, yes.
Got it.
Yeah, that's coming up.
Got it.
He should have combined them.
A little two in one?
Yeah, why not?
You think they give you a buy one, get one free?
Yes.
Definitely.
When you show up, they're just like, do it all.
Right.
I like that.
I wish I were able to get a lap band surgery.
I think I'm not.
I think you got to be bigger.
You should get bigger.
You should get bigger.
The best way for you to lose weight is to get way bigger.
Yeah, way bigger.
Jersey Jerry's got to gain 14 pounds before his fight.
Did he put that on his frame?
I think so.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I wasn't asking Josh.
Yeah, I was asking me.
No, it's all good.
Yeah, you could probably put it on.
I think if you worked hard enough.
Two months.
Yeah, you have a lot of metabolism, don't you?
What's that?
It's like the thing that makes you lose weight quickly.
Maybe.
You look like it.
Fucking maybe.
What are you guys getting into tonight?
Yeah, you too.
KB, are you asking for an invite?
Yeah.
What are you getting into KB would like to come?
No, no.
KB.
You're not 21 yet.
No.
KB doesn't drink
No I can't go to clubs man
What do you mean
So what are you gonna do
Probably just go to
Go to a dinner
Maybe
Maybe hit a little
After dinner thing
Like a club
Yeah
One of those after dinner things
One of those big after dinner things
You've been responding to
What we say with our first names
Did you just read that book
On how to influence people
No I didn't
Yeah I think that's That's like rule number one.
Is it?
Yeah, you say their name.
Huh.
No, maybe I'm just...
You're a natural.
Yeah, just natural gift.
It's working.
I like it.
Sweet.
Yeah.
I like it.
All right, so what else you got planned here?
Oh, I have an MCM shoot.
That's about it.
Okay, nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nice.
Are you doing...
No, Dave's not here, right?
No.
Got it.
So I reviewed the pizza while he was gone.
Yeah.
And who's... What's the other pizza floating around?
We got multiple pizzas.
We got multiple pizzas in the office.
Is there pizza here?
Yeah.
How much?
I think for everybody.
It's for everybody?
There's pizza for everybody?
Yeah.
From where?
I don't know.
I already ordered a bunch of filet.
Jen bought pizza for everybody?
What a sweet girl.
It's firing day.
Somebody's getting cut.
They're soft on the blow with pizza. Are you the one here to fire someone? That would be awesome. I's getting cut. They're softening
the blow of pizza.
Are you the one here
to fire someone?
That would be awesome.
I'm not supposed to say
really why I'm here.
If you were to fire
one person in this room,
just say it.
Not Jerry.
Not Jerry.
Not Jerry.
Not Jerry.
Can't be Jerry.
It's my first day.
It's his first day.
Is it actually?
Yeah, October 1st.
Well, we got some
bad news, Jerry.
Yeah.
Right off the bat,
we are kicking you
on out of here, man.
All right, one person.
You really put me on the fucking spot, eh?
I'd say Kareem.
Oh, no.
Agreed.
Get that guy the fuck out of here.
Do you know Kareem and Brennan have a huge rivalry?
Brennan?
Yeah.
Brennan and Kareem have a huge rivalry.
We actually do not have one anymore.
Really?
We have a relationship built on respect.
You guys are both bad people.
We get along.
You guys are both just untrustworthy bad people. You guys bond over untrustworthy bad people.
Untrustworthy bad people who step on your throat.
Do we get along, Kareem? Yeah, we get along great.
For now. For now.
For now. No, forever.
That was like a super not
confident answer from Kareem. No, no.
They have bad blood. They both have blackmail on
each other and if one person does something, it
gets released. It's that kind of relationship.
Because I can see Kareem getting red.
Is that why?
Yeah.
We're fine.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
We're good.
All right.
Well, Josh, thanks for stopping by, dude.
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Appreciate it.
Yeah.
You've got to come to the office more often.
It'd be fun if you were just hanging out.
Do you have keys on your chain?
No, it's a palm tree.
It's a palm tree.
It's a palm tree.
Sorry. Can we get this? Can you, before you leave, can you just go and put chain? No, it's a palm tree. It's a palm tree. I see. Sorry.
Can we get this?
Before you leave, can you just go and put that?
Side by side?
Yeah, side by side.
This is significantly larger.
Let's see which chain is kind of more expensive here.
Well, his was free.
Well, no, but on this.
I got this one for free, too.
Oh, jeez.
But if you sold it, look at it.
Look at it.
You don't have to kiss.
That's such a tiny little, barely as big as the E.
It's barely as big as the E.
Wow.
Like the Y.
Oh, my God.
It's a very small chain.
It's a very small chain.
That's tight.
Wait, wait.
No, we don't mean offense, Josh.
No, no, no.
No offense.
It's subjectively tiny.
No offense.
All right.
Thank you, Josh.
Jerry.
Appreciate it.
That was tiny.
Jerry.
Fucking tiny.
Wait for him to shut the door.
Wait for him to shut the door. Wait for him to shut the door.
Jerry, your chain is fucking big, dude.
I don't want to say nothing.
That was a small chain.
Oh, shit.
I know he's like a very famous guy, but that's a small chain.
That's a small-ass chain.
Smitty-sealed it.
Like a barrel of cinnamon.
Crazy.
And he's very famous, that guy, though.
Yeah, he is.
He's got like seven million Instagram.
It's a lot of fans. He seems like a nice guy. I'm in on Josh. Yeah. No, he's very famous That guy Yeah he is He's got like 7 million Instagram
He seems like a nice guy
I'm in on Josh
Yeah
No he's a very nice guy
He's Canadian
He's well spoken
Yeah yeah
He's Canadian really
Yeah
I just assumed he was California
He dropped two 3As
Yeah
He thought he was Californian
Well I just
I don't know why I thought
All those
He lives in California
Yeah
But he's
That's why I thought that
Canadian
Wow that was fun.
I mean, you've got first day, and you're kind of flexing on the famous guy.
I know.
I just hope nobody shows up with a bigger chain.
Yeah.
Unreal.
Yeah, someone came and just kind of...
I honestly don't think you have to worry about that.
Oh, someone comes in with a bigger chain.
I think you lose your job.
Jeff D. Lowe, maybe.
He's on his way.
Yeah, you're fucked.
He is on pace.
His trajectory.
Stephen Che said, who on the act would be best at skipping stone?
What is he doing?
He's had a tough week.
He's had a weird week.
How would you rank Pringles versus regular potato chips?
It's the same.
First.
Pringles or potato chips?
First or second. I don't know. Yeah, fuck it. First or second. What is the best. I don't think Pringles are potato chips. First or second,
I don't know.
Yeah, fuck it.
First or second.
What is the best type
of cheese doodle?
What?
The best type of cheese doodle?
Just Cheetos against...
I think he means
curl puff ball.
No, he says puffy or crunchy.
Oh.
Crunchy.
Depends on which mood I'm in.
I like crunchy.
I like the crunchy.
You like crunchy?
Mm-hmm.
Although the balls are good, too.
The balls are good.
Good brand of balls. That's the best thing to throw in the air and catch with your the balls are good, too. The balls are good. Good brand of balls.
That's the best thing to throw in the air and catch with your mouth.
Of course, yeah.
Yeah.
Grapes.
Green grapes.
No, it's dangerous.
What?
It's not going to get messy.
It won't slide down.
The average human throat's about the size of a grape.
I could just go right.
On the throat goat, remember?
Oh, you are the throat goat.
It could be nothing but net.
Just go straight down?
Yeah.
Right out your butt.
Straight through, right out your butt. Straight through right out your butt.
It's good that you're laughing now, Brennan.
I got grapes in my pants.
Why do you keep coming back to this?
What?
What was that?
It's good that you're laughing now.
Yeah, I'm having fun.
I know.
The first 30 minutes, you were basically on edge, flipping out at everyone.
You're saying things that aren't true.
Delisting from honorably discharged from Jerry's Army.
Now you're back in the flow.
I was always.
What about your reserve?
Yeah, you can be a reserve.
On the weekends?
Yeah, the Army Reserve.
That's a good idea.
One week a month.
All right.
I like that.
Four weekends a year.
Four weekends a year.
You can still use your veterans discount.
Is that good, Jerry? I like that. That's a year? Yeah, four weekends a year. You can still use your veteran's discount. Is that good, Jerry?
I like that.
That's good.
All right.
Okay.
Yep.
Good.
Good stuff.
So the fight's December 10th.
December 10th, yeah.
That's two months of training.
I'm so excited.
Do you know what song you're going to walk out to yet?
Great question.
Yeah, I do.
What is it?
Is it a secret?
Nothing. Silence. Silence. Yeah, I do. What is it? Is it a secret? Nothing. Silence.
Silence.
The Mike Tyson approach. I'm walking out
black
short shorts, black
shoes, towel over the head.
So you're going to be like Mike Tyson. Correct.
Do you think you're tougher than Tyson?
Maybe now.
Yeah? Maybe now. Today?
Maybe. I saw you hit the bag
But that was two years ago
Have you lost anything in the pop?
I might have lost a step
Yeah
It'll come back
Muscle memory
Yeah
Have you seen they make tattoos
That only last a year or two now?
I didn't see that
That's how every tattoo should be
That's a good idea
That's like an intimidating factor, right?
Get a little tattoo over the eye
Where do the tattoos only last a year or two? I don't know Saw a video of it That's like an intimidating factor, right? Get a little tattoo over the eye.
Where do the tattoos only last a year or two?
I don't know.
I saw a video of it.
Do they still hurt, though?
Yeah, apparently the ink goes and you just still have a scar.
It looks like a tattoo.
Well, that seems much worse than just getting a natural tattoo. Yeah, you're better off just having the tattoo.
I don't think I want to do that.
I just have a big scar.
Do you have any tattoos, Jerry?
Yeah, a bunch.
All my arms, my chest.
We'll do a tour.
You might as well show us, right?
Let's do a little tour.
Make me a tour.
You might as well show us.
Let's do a tour.
You mentioned it, so we might as well just see it.
Strip it down a little bit.
Torso.
Torso check.
See the ink?
Yeah.
You want to take off my shirt?
No, it's all right.
Whatever you want to take off.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he does have it.
That's a doozy.
Sheesh. Okay. And my chest. Love it. Yeah, he does have a doozy. Sheesh.
Okay.
In my chest.
Love it.
Yeah, you do have a bunch.
What runs deep?
River runs deep.
That's actually the Ohio or the Mahogany.
The Malloy.
No, like the Rawway. What's the deepest river?
Nile?
The Brad Pitt movie?
Amazon's deepest.
No, no.
This is a song.
Do you know the Brad Pitt movie?
Mississippi might be deepest.
River runs deep.
That's good.
Oh, really?
Amazon says it never gets all that big, though, does it?
Amazon is the widest.
What's the deepest?
The Nile.
I don't think the Amazon's the longest, isn't it?
Nile's longest.
Amazon is widest.
TJ, what's the deepest river?
The Yank Sea, maybe?
He's so fast.
Congo?
I'd say if Congo were...
Mississippi was there.
Yeah, fucking Congo. Hudson. Damn, Brandon. What time is Congo? I'd say I was... Mississippi was there. Yeah, fucking Congo.
Hudson.
Damn, Brandon.
What time is it on?
I apologize.
That's not right, because there's no river that's 23,000 miles...
That's not depth.
It is depth.
No, it's not.
There's no river that's 2,318 miles deep.
You don't know that.
Rivers are like 150...
That's meters.
The deepest point is 220...
That's miles.
Brandon, why are you in such a bad mood? I don't. That's miles. Brandon Wayne's is a bad move.
Read it.
I'm not in a bad mood.
Why do you keep going?
Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
That was topical and apt.
I got it.
That was pretty good.
Unreal.
Set you up.
That whole first 30 minutes was just for that joke.
I knew we'd be talking rivers today.
What's the widest?
Can we get the widest?
That's Nile.
That's Amazon.
Nile is longest.
Brandon is right.
That's not the deepest.
That can't be.
It is the deepest.
The deepest point of it is 220 meters,
which is 720 feet.
Yeah, so it's not 2,000 feet.
That's miles, miles.
Miles.
So that's the widest.
Okay.
The Amazon River is a heck of a big tributary.
Who wrote this?
Is that the official definition?
Longest rivers in the world also have to be the widest.
Isn't the Amazon, like at points, it's just like wet-ass forest, right?
Mm-hmm.
Waff?
I mean, it's like It doesn't even have river characteristics
It's just there
What do you mean it doesn't have river characteristics?
I mean it does but at times it's just wide open swamp
Swampy?
Yeah yeah yeah
It's like
That's a half-assed river
It's like a college bar at like 2 in the morning
How about that alligator eating that other alligator?
That was crazy
I didn't like that
You want to see that?
I did not like that
Shark eats duck?
That's yet to exist.
It's true.
Alligator eats alligator?
Y'all want to watch
the shark eat duck video?
Yeah, let's show Jerry
the shark eat duck video.
Yeah, we're going to show you
a video called Shark Eat Duck
and I want you to guess
what happens.
All right.
What do you think happens?
Actually, you can't guess now.
Shark eat duck?
Yeah.
I would guess a shark
is going to come out the water
and eat the duck.
Why don't you buckle up?
Let's watch.
They're going to play it on the TV?
Here it goes. There's the duck.
Must watch it. See the duck?
That's exactly what you think a duck should look like.
Oh boy.
I've watched this so many times I'm nervous.
It's about to get a little grim
Poor duck
Don't you dare fast forward DJ
That was a short video
Are you fine with gore?
Sharky duck
There really could have been some editing done here
Sharky duck I would argue that this been some editing done here. Shark eat duck.
I would argue that this didn't need to be posted at all.
By editing, you mean they delete it.
Oh, fuck.
Man.
You know it's coming.
It's the scary thing about sharks.
They eat ducks.
Sometimes they just don't.
And he zooms out.
And there you go.
You were actually wrong, Jerry.
You were wrong.
There was actually no shark in it.
How about this one, though?
Now this one.
This one's a different story.
Oh, man.
But wait.
Oh!
He's fine.
Shark eats duck.
Honestly, that cured my fear of sharks because that bird is on.
Uh-oh.
Wait, are we about to have a weird warning?
Weird alert.
Weird alert.
Weird alert.
Oh, whoa.
That cracker's too big.
Jerry, do you think I appropriately described this show when I told you to be on it?
Yeah.
There's not a lot to it.
How did you describe it?
He was like, what do you guys do?
Oh, do you want to play family feud?
We just hang out.
Oh, yeah.
Wait, we have a net.
Jerry.
Oh, you have a six.
We let him play solo.
Sit right here.
Let him play a solo game of Feud.
You play some solo Feud for us.
Sit right here so you can see the TV better.
You ever watch a family Feud?
Yeah.
You know what it is.
There's no surprise.
What if Jerry's like a savant at family Feud?
We're going to find one.
Oh, weird alert.
Weird alert.
Weird alert.
Weird alert.
Thanks for the heads up.
Oh, no.
Weird alert. Weird alert. Oh, no. Weird alert.
Weird alert.
Oh, man.
Yeah, we don't do anything on this show.
Here, let me do the ad.
Oh, is that the Flex Seal guy?
One of them.
There's two of them?
I don't know.
There's your attitude back.
I'm like 0 for 4 on ordering lunch and it arriving.
I got my Chick-fil-A here.
Mine's never come.
A haircut shouldn't feel that relaxing, but it does add sport clips, haircuts.
That's because stylists just don't wash your hair.
They use a seven-pressure-point massaging shampoo technique that is so relaxing you
melt in your seat.
And the hot steam towel, oh yeah, it's infused with tea tree oil and perfectly steamed, leaving
you feeling like you just left a Swedish sauna.
And to top it off, you get a pinpoint cut.
Stop by Sport Clips today and ask for the MVP haircut experience.
It's ridiculously relaxing.
Sport Clips, the pros in men's hair.
This is the captain of the army.
Can I read this out loud?
I just got a DM from the corporal.
We will...
Okay.
Brandon Walker, the captain of the Jersey Jerry Army said,
Brandon Walker, watch your back or support the Jersey Jerry Army.
This is when shit gets stupid.
You start getting DMs and shit like this.
I mean, this is war we're talking about.
Yeah, what are you talking?
What are you talking?
Are you saying?
It's a real army.
He's in.
Brennan's in the reserves.
Yeah, I'm in the reserves.
Yeah.
Listen, he's a protected guy.
But also, I don't.
You're crazy.
Somebody DM'd me.
We fucked up.
Josh Richards and Gruen pledged $30 million
to bring back the woolly mammoth.
Really?
What?
I would have loved to hear about that.
That's something you can fund?
Yeah, I guess I'll toss a few bones.
All right, yeah.
Jersey Jerry, how much money you got?
On your pocket right now?
I don't know.
You don't know? I don't know I don't know
how much
what do you think
$1,500
in your pocket right now
I don't know
you don't know
in your pocket right now
but it could be $1,500
I don't know
you have $1,500 in your pocket
let's guess who's ever
alright
the closest
alright the closest
we don't gets $20.
I'm going to guess $1,100.
I think you're bullshitting.
I'm going to go $11.
$11 total?
I don't know.
I have like $7.
I'll say $875.
You have $426.
I'm going to say $950.
I said $875. Do you want to count? I don't know. I'm going to say $950. I said $875.
Do you want to count?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
Why don't you count?
Do you have a wallet?
Do you want to count?
Oh.
You have a purse.
A man purse.
Quite a wallet.
Oh, that's a lot.
Oh, it's a lot.
It's a lot, boys.
Jesus.
Wow.
Good God.
What's wrong with you?
All right.
100, 200, 300, 400, 500, 600, 700, 800, 900, 1,000, 1,100, 1,200, 1,300, 1,400, 1,500, 1,500, 1,600.
So that's all pledged.
1,700, 1,800, 1,900, 2,000, 2,100 $2,200, $2,300, $2,400, $2,500.
What the fuck, Jerry?
$2,040.
Jerry, what?
$2,600.
$2,600.
We have what?
$2,700.
Give me a $20.
Yeah, he's close.
I give him $20.
Brandon, are you back in?
I'm back in now. I'm on the Jersey Jerry Army, baby. You're a mercenary. You can win it back. Shit, that's close. I give him $20. Brandon, are you back in? I'm back in now.
I'm on the Jersey Jerry Army, baby.
You're a mercenary. You can win it back.
Shit, that was funny.
You prefer cash?
I took $1,500.
Damn, bank error in your favor.
Oh, man.
All right, should we play some Family Feud?
Okay.
All right, here we go, Jerry.
So it's the same thing like the show, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's just you.
Just you.
No family. Say this question out you. Just you. No family.
Say this question out loud.
Unless you want to call your mom up.
She can help.
Do you want me to...
Is it like a phone a friend?
If you need help with a question, call her up.
Say the question out loud.
Mm-hmm.
Name something that has a hole in the middle.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
I'd say...
I'd say vagina.
A vagina is just a hole.
There's a void in the void.
I'd say a belly button.
There's a hole in my pussy.
That is a hole as well.
You're just naming holes.
Something that has a hole.
Jerry, what did you have today for breakfast?
Bagel.
There we go.
There we go.
Okay.
Hole in the middle.
Tire.
Tire.
Tire, yes.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Nope.
Nope.
Oh.
Basketball hoop.
Yep.
Basketball.
What about the hoop?
That's not what a hoop is.
A rim. A rim.
A rim.
No, it's a donut.
Donut.
Donut.
Donut.
Donut.
You can't say it after that.
Donut.
All right, not bad.
It's all right.
It's close.
It's all right.
It wasn't close.
No, it wasn't.
69 to 8.
I think it would be 40.
That guy got 69.
How did he get 69?
He got donuts.
Donuts.
Yeah.
All right.
Double points. Give me a word that. All right. Double points.
Give me a word that rhymes with cheat.
Cheat.
Sweet.
Sweet.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Feet.
Feet.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Yeah.
Heat.
Heat. Heat. There we go. Number one. Number one. Oh. Heat.
There we go.
Number one.
Number one.
Oh.
Neat.
Neat.
That's got to be number one.
Number one.
Meat or meat?
Meat.
Meat.
I think that's number one.
Oh, here we go.
We're back.
Sneak.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
That's a... Jersey Jerry's flow is so good he can rhyme.
Sneak with beat.
That was a good one, though.
That was a good one.
That was close.
You're still down.
Closing in.
Closing in.
Triple round.
Triple round.
Triple points.
Triple points.
Okay.
Here we go.
Name something that only happens once a year.
Presidency.
What?
Election.
Election.
Election.
Election.
Nice.
Nice.
Mm-hmm.
Every four years.
Every four years.
Every four years.
Taxes.
Uh-oh.
That explains the money.
Every four years.
High school.
High school.
Graduation.
Graduation.
Every four years.
Wait, wait, wait.
Graduation.
Graduation.
Graduation.
What do you mean?
Every four years it happens.
Jared, did you watch any sporting events this summer?
Olympics.
There we go.
Taxes.
Changing your sheets.
Every four years.
Every four years.
This one's going to be
quite a leap.
Leap.
Leap year.
Yeah.
Go, Jerry.
I didn't even hear
somebody say leap.
Not yet.
All right.
Oh, no.
I think you're still
going to lose.
Yeah, I'm going to lose
this one.
World Cup? Eclipse. I think you're still going to lose. Yeah, I'm going to lose this one. World Cup?
Eclipse.
I didn't know that.
I don't know if that's true at all.
I can't believe taxes weren't on there.
I think there's eclipse all the time.
Yeah.
It's a tie on lost.
You lost.
Want to try again?
Let's try again.
You got time for credit now.
Now you know.
That's a good answer.
Are you guys tired?
Yeah, we have time.
We could literally do this forever if you wanted to.
Oh, and you're relaxed?
I am.
All right.
Taxes.
Was it close?
I don't know.
It just took a wild guess there.
They're going to switch up the questions, though, right?
What's that little unit that you use to smoke?
What's that little unit you use?
It's called Air Bar.
They're like, I get them from a wholesaler.
Box at 10.
But they last like four days for one.
Very nice.
Is it flavored?
Yes, it's lemon drop.
Is that your favorite?
One of the favorites.
What's your favorite?
Red Bull Ice.
Red Bull Ice is a flavor.
Delicious.
Wow.
And then vanilla pudding Is a good one
Vanilla pudding
That sounds
I'm bluffing on pudding
Alright
Alright
This is it
It's your time
Alright
This time
No help though
No help
No help
I'm gonna try to
Are you sure
One time
One time
One help
One help around
How about we
We'll tell you when
The answer is definitely
Not gonna be right.
No, you're right.
Let Jerry go.
We'll help with that.
Yawn.
Fawn.
Fawn.
That's his answer.
Nice.
Language arts.
Lawn.
Yes.
Show me number one.
Show me number one.
Pawn.
Pawn.
Good answer.
Come on. Pawn. Pawn. Good answer. Come on.
Pawn.
Fawn.
Lawn.
Song.
Oh, God.
I want to hear you on a rap so bad.
Fawn.
Lawn.
Pawn.
Cron.
Cron.
Cron.
Cron.
I don't might have broken.
He's brought it back.
He's such a good player.
Dawn.
Dawn.
Dawn.
Dawn. Dawn.
Yeah.
Perfect round.
Let's go. That was the help. That was the help. That was the help.
I'm winning.
No more help.
No, it's one help a round.
Have you gotten a number one answer yet?
That's almost more impressive.
What single word are you most surprised to hear your spouse say?
Single word.
Love.
Oh, no.
Jerry.
Oh, no. Oh, hell yeah, Jerry. Oh, no. Jerry. Oh, no.
Oh, that was a little.
Hell yeah, Jerry.
No?
Okay.
This is a sick relationship.
No one tells me no.
No love, but no nose.
Fuck yeah.
Dishes, dishes.
Oh, nothing.
Baby.
Oh, no.
Oh, that's probably pretty good
oh okay oh man what would end our marriage yeah the d word cheap oh okay well not really no
that would lead to this divorce divorce perhaps that's all right that's's alright We're still in the lead We're still in the lead Of course Very bad round Yes
Thanks
What?
Sorry
I don't want them to hear sorry
What?
What would you be shocked to hear?
That's not your fault Jerry
Are we still winning?
Yes
Yes
Yeah
Here we go Jer
This is the final round
You're going up against this old bitch
You got this
Well if you win
You can go to Fast Money
Yeah
And then you could win $2700
We double whatever's in your pocket Name something you might accidentally leave on all night The lights Yes Well, if you win, you can go to Fast Money. Yeah, and then you could win $2,700.
We'd double whatever's in your pocket. Name something you might accidentally leave on all night.
The lights.
Yes.
Nice.
Nice.
TV.
TV.
Yes.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Peaking.
Microwave.
Oh.
I don't know.
I don't really.
How?
You want that pizza? No, I don't want it. How? Phone. Phone. Oh. I don't know. I don't really. How? You want that pizza?
No, I don't want it.
Phone.
Phone.
Phone.
Microwave.
I set my microwave for eight hours.
Still going.
You got time.
Leave on all night.
What do you leave on all night?
The lights, the TV.
How about your lady?
The car. The car. The TV. How about your lady? The car.
The car. That's your one help.
That was a bad help. Mine was better.
That was a bad help.
That's the first time Jerry got mad at me.
But we're going to Fast Money, right?
Do we win? Yeah, we're going to Fast Money.
No help, Fast Money.
You gotta guess the number one answer.
Oh, this is just the number one.
Yep.
Okay.
And we'll have 60 seconds?
Yep.
And only get one guess, right?
Yep.
All right, so I got to think about it.
No, no, go fast.
A dog might think if they leave me alone again, I'm going to chew up their...
Come on.
Come on.
Something that you get into a door with.
Go fast.
What gets you in?
A dog might think. Go fast. Dog might think.
Go fast.
This is fast.
You got to go fast.
Keys.
Keys.
Show me keys.
My brother.
What animal do you think of as being black and white?
Name an animal you think of as being...
Dalmatian.
Dalmatian.
I'll read them for you.
I'll read them for you, Jerry.
You just think about answering them.
If a juggler lost his balls, name something from his kitchen he might juggle
instead. Eggs.
Eggs.
Name a musical instrument that sounds like a person
with digestive problems. Clarinet.
Clarinet.
Name something
people always have to cut. Weight.
Yes, good answer.
All right. Well, keys is a no-brainer.
It's two.
Two, all right.
It's a guaranteed two every time.
Oh, see.
No good salvation.
Eggs?
Six?
We're on single digits.
Wait, no, that's number one.
That's the number one answer.
Oh, jeez.
It's not the best fast money round.
It's not the best fast money round. It's not the best fast money round.
It's a good golf score.
Jerry, you are very funny at this game.
Holy shit, you got to fast money.
You only ended up with 449 points.
He won with 449.
That's impressive.
That's impressive.
Jerry, you reinvigorated family feud because it was starting to wane,
but you brought it back.
You want to go one more time
for good measure?
Yeah, one more.
All right, one more.
Last one,
then we'll end the show with this.
Six minutes.
All right.
Six minutes,
and then we'll end the show with this.
Same thing.
One help a round.
One help a round.
Let's try to beat 449.
But also, I wouldn't mind if you...
You want to read the question?
I'll read the question to help you.
Yep.
Because I can't do...
I'm thinking and I'm reading.
Yeah, it's a lot.
Two things going on at once.
Jay, what you got at 2 o'clock?
Lunch.
Pizza.
Pizza. Alright, you're going to read, right?
Yeah, I'm going to read.
On my face.
It looks tough.
At the end of the day,
name something Indiana Jones
might put away in his closet.
Gun.
Oh, gun.
Boots.
Boots.
Hat.
Jerry doesn't like hats, but he wears them. But he. Hat. Yeah.
Jerry doesn't like hats, but he wears them.
But he doesn't like them.
Is that true?
I don't like hats.
Coat.
I offered him hats, and he's like, I don't like hats.
He's like, but you're wearing one.
He's like, yeah, I wear them, but I don't like them.
Respect.
Indiana Jones.
Is that the guy who rides the horse?
Yeah, he beats up the Nazis.
Saddle.
Saddle.
Maybe a whip? Fuck, he beats up the Nazis. Saddle. Saddle. Maybe a whip?
Fuck, I like that one.
Damn, how'd this fucking Boone guy
get this much?
Knife, whip, whip
was a good answer.
Damn.
I could've used the help there.
Can we get a quick camera
on Tico, maybe?
Yeah, Tico is...
What's she doing?
She's twerking
in front of the barstool.
She's standing in front
of the barstool logo.
She's standing on the table.
She's masturbating with one of the stars.
Wait, what?
Yeah, she's rubbing her vagina on the stars.
Now she's rubbing her ass on the stars.
TJ or Zai broke the mic.
Hey, thanks, man.
She's done.
She's done.
She's done.
I wonder how confused the security guard is right now.
That's my...
Do you want her as your teammate?
Oh, she can eat that.
Either of them.
Oh, she's moving it.
She's got to get up there and...
Those are big earrings.
Love it.
Bigger the hoop, bigger the...
Oh, yeah, brother.
We're about to catch him in 4K Oh no
Caught Brandon in 3K
We did?
Yep
At a meeting
Alright second round
Alright so we're losing
Not really we
Me me me I'm losing
Name a command given to a dog That if your boss said it to you You'd quit I'm losing. Not really we. Me, me, me. I'm losing.
Name a command given to a dog that if your boss said it to you, you'd quit.
Sit.
Okay.
Sit. Good answer.
Good.
Quit.
Okay.
Stop.
Yeah.
Bark.
Oh.
A lot of people Tell their dogs
To bark
Speak
I trained them myself
That's a bad one
That's a bad one
Oh
No Jerry
You went too fast
Yeah
Take your time
Fetch maybe
Fetch
Roll over
If you want to recruit
A teammate from the lobby
You feel free
Yeah
Roll over
Heal
I was going to say
Heal too
You were
I have to have A big round here, right?
Yeah.
You have to have a big round.
But you're not out of it.
Oh, you got to dig deep, Jer.
Oh, you need a big boy.
You got to dig deep, Jer.
This is it.
I feel it.
All right.
Come back.
Besides a dog, name an animal that someone might have for emotional support.
Cat.
There we go.
Good answer.
Great answer.
A horse.
Yes. Oh, that's usually there. That's the horse pet. Yeah. Oh. All right. Let we go. Good answer. Great answer. A horse. Yes.
That's usually there.
That's the horse.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's think.
A bird.
Yes.
Yep.
Good.
I like that.
I like that.
Maybe like a rabbit?
No.
Is it a bunny?
A hamster?
No.
I'm trying to think of what I see.
A fish?
A monkey?
A fish?
We'll go with fish.
Bill Murray?
I don't think cold-blooded animals can help you.
I gotta have it here.
You gotta have it here.
Oh, no.
He just got it.
Oh, you're fucked.
It doesn't really matter anymore.
Fuck.
I actually don't know.
Maybe a hamster.
Hamster.
Hamster.
Yeah, I think hamster.
Hamster. Yeah, emotional support hamster.
That's it.
We lost.
I lost.
No, we lost.
No, we lost.
That's us.
Pig.
Monkey.
Monkeys are violent.
Who can afford an ape?
Monkeys are very violent.
Emotional support ape.
They are very violent.
Whatever.
Next time.
Next time.
I don't know if there will be a next time.
Oh, if you ever want
me on the show again.
Let's play one more.
I don't care.
Yeah, one more.
One more.
Just one more.
Okay.
You got to go out
and go winning.
You got to go out.
I can't promise you
I'm going to win again.
No, you have to go out
and win again.
Do we want Tico to be
his teammate?
I don't think.
I think that will add
like six hours to the show. Might add six hours. Let's go one more. This we want Tico to be his teammate? I don't think, I think that will add like six hours to the show.
Might add six hours.
Let's go one more.
This is it.
Same thing.
Either you're a big loser
or you're a winner.
You want to phone a friend?
But we don't have the time.
Just put somebody
on speaker maybe
and they can just
We'll help.
Look at this guy.
He loves his job.
We'll help you get to
Fast Money
and then Fast Money's all you.
Okay. Alright. Let's do it. I want Money and then Fast Money's all you. Okay.
All right.
Let's do it.
I want us to feel good about walking away from the show.
I mean, we can't guarantee getting him to Fast Money.
No, we can.
We can do this.
We can do this together.
Wait, so are we going together and then he takes over Fast Money?
Jerry's going to lead.
We're going to help if he needs it.
Fast Money.
We can fuck this Estella bit.
Caught in the middle.
There we go, Jerry.
I want to say rain.
Rain.
Rain.
Yeah.
Act.
Act.
Act.
Yeah.
Act.
Act.
Yeah.
Act.
Definitely.
Bam.
Call in the middle.
Call in the middle.
Crossfire.
Crossfire.
Crossfire.
I don't know.
Oh. Yeah. Oh,fire. Crossfire. I don't know. Oh!
Oh!
Jerry!
We crushed her that round.
That was fucking...
We smoked her ass.
Crumpled that fucking round.
We crumpled her.
We fucking split her like a hard-boiled egg.
Yep.
Unrepairable.
Name something people give to others as...
Ring.
Ring. Ring. Show me number one. Nice, Jerry! Yes! Name something people give to others as their love.
Ring.
Ring.
Show me number one.
Nice, Jerry.
Yes.
Flowers.
Flowers.
Yeah.
All right, you take the-
Chocolate.
Yes.
I'm starting to eat up.
You got the confidence.
I'm starting to eat up.
What?
What?
Oh, no.
Balloons.
Balloons.
Oh, no.
Slow down on balloons.
He didn't say balloons.
Maybe I didn't say balloons. He didn't say balloons. I'm just saying. I don't slow down on balloons. Maybe I didn't say balloons.
He didn't say balloons. I'm just saying.
I don't think you said balloons.
Maybe I didn't say.
Money.
Money.
Maybe a little money.
Yeah.
Sex.
Oh, yes.
Give him a little sex.
It might have been balloons.
It might have been balloons.
Let's go with balloons.
Balloons.
Balloons.
All right.
I don't think. I don't think so. It's got to be a card. Jewelry. Let's go with balloons. Let's go with balloons. All right. I don't think.
I don't think so.
It's got to be a card.
Jewelry.
A car.
A kiss.
A kiss.
That should be a sex up for our love.
Because I don't kiss unless I know.
That should be sex.
Yeah, right?
That absolutely should be sex.
It should.
We're still winning, though.
Yep.
We're really good.
Yeah.
Name a way you can tell someone just ate something
they didn't like.
Throw up.
Throw up.
Good answer.
Should it be vomit?
Okay.
Spit it out.
Spit it out.
Cough?
Spit it out.
Spit it out.
What is that?
Gag.
Oh.
Grimace.
I was going to say.
Gag is good. Maybe gag. What would be number one? Cough. Oh. Grimace. I was going to say. Gag is good.
Gag, maybe gag.
What would be number one?
Cough.
Okay.
Fart.
Okay.
Oh, I did not like that.
It doesn't even want us to.
Fart isn't even an option.
Yeah.
Cough.
Farting is not an option.
They're sick.
It's got to be like the face.
Yeah.
Whatever the.
Yeah, you got to think of the face.
Wait, are we gonna lose? Yuck. Say
yuck.
Fuck, are we gonna lose this? Jerry, take it away.
Diarrhea. Grimace?
On the spot.
Instant.
Oh, no!
I think the grimace. Look on the face. Look, no. We didn't do this. I think the grimace.
Look on the face.
Look on face.
Do we lose?
I don't think.
Oh.
That's unbelievable.
Unreal.
That's great.
We crushed her the first two rounds, so how did she win that one?
Triple points.
Look on face.
She's a clutch player. Look on face. She's a clutch player.
Look on face.
One more.
One more.
Look on face.
We got to go one more.
Look on face.
We got to go one more.
I thought we were going to easily win that.
I thought we had it.
You know what messed up that whole round?
The sex.
That's what messed up that round.
Sex messed it up.
Yeah.
Because that was right.
You were right.
What a shame. All right. You were right. What a shame.
Alright, fast money time.
Kara 98.
She looks damn good.
Name a specific place where you're glad people can't read your mind.
Church. Church? Church.
Church.
Church.
Good answer.
The great answer.
At the altar.
Whoa.
Oh, yeah.
Other.
Yeah, the other altar.
Maybe work.
But it probably would work.
Work.
Yeah, work.
Boss's office.
School.
Maybe school.
Good answer.
School. School. Date. I think we're starting to heat up a little bit. We are. Media work Bosses office School Maybe school Good answer School
School
Date
I think we're starting to heat up a little bit
We are
Oh fuck
Maybe the bathroom
I think date
Maybe go with date
You think so Brandon?
You like bed?
I like date
Fuck
Fuck
Fuck
Yeah
That was all you
The store The bathroom There it is 26 Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Yeah. That was all you.
The store?
The bathroom. The bathroom.
There it is.
26.
We're losing, right?
We're losing.
Oh, gosh.
We got to win this round.
That woman got all that.
Did she get a perfect round?
Almost.
Name a word you would use to describe a bodybuilder.
Jack.
Good answer.
Good starter.
Muscular.
Strong.
Strong.
Tan.
Muscular.
Muscular.
Muscular.
Muscular.
We got to get this, guys.
Okay.
Now, what are we thinking
I would say
Fit
Hot
Ripped
Smoke now
This is bad
Big hunk
Muscles buff
Yeah buff
This round has to be
We have to go Mondo We have to go Mondo.
We have to go Mondo on our ass.
We got to go real Mondo.
We got to go Mondo on our ass.
Name a food you cook in a frying pan.
Got it.
You started off.
You started off.
I would say chicken.
Chicken.
Chicken.
Eggs.
Eggs.
Eggs. Bacon. Bacon. Yeah. Yeah. Eggs. Eggs.
Bacon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Bacon.
Bacon.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're cooking.
We're cooking.
We're smacking her around.
What about, would you say fries or no?
Nah, I don't think I'd say fries.
No.
Frying.
Fries.
Pork chop.
Pork chop.
Fish.
Fish.
Let's go with fish.
Yeah.
Fish. Yeah, fish. Steak.
Steak. Steak. Steak.
Yeah.
Your attitude's killing us, Brandon.
Alright, let's run it up.
Let's run it up on this bitch. Yeah, let's fuck this bitch.
This face fucker.
We said bacon.
Grilled cheese?
I would say... What about pork chop? Grilled cheese? I would say.
What about pork chop?
Say fries.
Say fries.
No, Jerry wants to say fries.
Say fries.
I already guessed it.
It's eggs.
Maybe pork chop.
Potato.
That's fries. That's fries.
That's like kids.
You got it.
You got it.
That's ridiculous.
Yeah, Jerry was right.
Hell yeah.
All right, Jerry.
Fuck yeah. It's all you. I'm going to read it so you can just answer. Yep. It's ridiculous. Yeah, Jerry was right. Hell yeah. All right, Jerry. Fuck yeah.
It's all you.
I'm going to read it so you can just answer.
It's all you.
No help.
Let's beat eight.
I only have room for one blank in my life.
Girl.
Nice.
There we go.
That's cute.
Name something left over from a wedding that a cheap church might use for a funeral.
Flowers.
Yes.
Good answer.
Cheap church. Name a device used for cutting. Knife. Knife. Great answer. That's a good answer. Cheap church.
Name a device used for cutting. Knife.
Great answer. That's got to be it.
Name something
adults take lessons in. Tennis.
Oh! Okay.
Not blue collar.
Name the most useful
body part that begins with the letter L.
Leg.
Yeah. Great answer. I was going to say liver.
Alright, here we go.
Number one answer.
Number one answer.
Number one answer.
Tennis.
We had regular.
And we're right back
Yeah fuck yeah
That's it
Oh you face fucked him
Hell yes Jerry
That was a good one
Bravo
God damn
Whoa
13 of 5
That was good
That was a good one
Alright well Jerry
Thank you for joining us
You're welcome anytime
We appreciate you
Hopping on the yak
For sure
Everyone
Go follow Jersey Jerry
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What you wanna say?
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It was always the Yak
Yeah
Alright we'll see everyone on Monday. We'll see everyone on Monday. It's a yak