The Yak - Titus is a Married Man | The Yak 8-19-24
Episode Date: August 19, 2024Get ready to learn dueF ylimaFYou can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/barstoolyak...
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Hey, Yak listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube.
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Hello.
It's the Yak.
What was that?
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Hello, everyone's back.
Hey.
Glad to be back.
Fun weekend.
Mark Titus is married.
Married.
Married guy.
Got that boy married.
I did a thing.
Whoa.
Oh, he did.
I did a thing.
You look like a real grown-up now.
Yeah. Game changer.
It was great.
It was beautiful.
Brandon, did you give a speech?
You technically did.
Technically.
Titus did one of the funniest things that I was just like, damn it.
This is something.
I loved it so much because it was just like, I should have thought this is so great.
He had a hat and everyone's name was in the hat.
And if your name got pulled, you had to give a speech.
Yeah.
Wow.
We didn't have a wedding party and our wedding planner was like, we said we didn't want to do speeches.
And she was like, I think it might be a long time for everyone to sit there and eat dinner.
And she's like, I know people don't always love speeches, but it's a good way to break things up.
And it's also a good way to remind people they're at a wedding.
It adds a little bit of color.
Maybe a friend says a story that's worthwhile or whatever.
So we're like, yeah, fuck it.
We'll do speeches.
And then we sat there thinking, do we ask people to do speeches i don't have a best man she doesn't
have a maid of honor and we thought why don't we just throw everyone's name in a hat that's pretty
funny and you got pulled i just want to point out that i i did not get pulled uh after the three
got pulled and went about five minutes go by and pft and dan both clink their glasses brandon has something to say of course yeah
it's great so great his technical speech was i don't remember a lot of speech yeah there was a
guy frank who was incredible he brought the house down and i say that uh that's a pun because yeah
got up and he uh was like last time I gave a speech at a wedding,
people said it was too long.
And I just clapped.
I was like, great speech, Frank.
He wouldn't sit down, so he kept on going.
And then his next line, I think, was, so my house burned down.
Oh, he brought that house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was great.
And then Brandon just stood up and was like, Frank, great speech.
I said to Frank.
Yeah.
But you're skipping the part where Frank also said, I think this wedding should have been in a church.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Frank was the man.
I love Frank.
Yeah, but it was a great night.
It was a great night.
The highlight of the night for me personally was on the bus ride when we were talking to someone one of uh mark's friends
yeah and um she asked if brandon and i worked together and i said uh yeah for at least the
next five months oh there's the countdown his contract yeah and her response was oh are you retiring oh shit yeah she said it like that
said it exactly like that wow brutal for him wow brutal brutal brutal yeah
yeah oh man that one's that one's tough for you yeah it was the it was the gal that gave the
speech yeah oh yeah it was her it was good yeah do you think. It was the gal that gave the speech. Oh, yeah. It was her.
She was good, yeah.
Do you think like –
There was also a moment, Titus, that we should tell you about just if it ever gets back to you.
It was a former coworker of yours who worked with you at The Ringer, and she was like,
Mark's the best, and it was just such a great time working with him.
And then Brandon and I just like perfectly in sync.
I think it was in front of your mom, maybe your grandma, like family.
We're just like, Titus is I think it was in front of your mom, maybe your grandma, like family. Everybody was like,
Tyson's an asshole.
Literally your mom was sitting right next to you.
And I was like,
in our work environment,
not nice.
Yeah.
Not nice.
Not nice at all.
Yeah.
But it was a great,
it was a great night.
Thank you so much.
A big guy,
generous gift that you gave it.
Brandon,
I'm sure yours is on the way.
So it was wonderful.
It was wonderful.
I do. I did make a mistake I
next wedding I'm gonna
give this gift I thought of it this morning
I think whoever gets married
next if I'm invited to their wedding I think I'm gonna
get them like a $10,000 gift certificate
to Applebee's
huge news guys you're not
gonna believe this
Pat get down here.
But that's a gift that would be a trap.
That would be a nuisance.
Right, I know.
It's like, oh, wow, what a generous gift, but also now I have to eat there?
I would sell that for $300.
Honestly.
Yeah.
That would be a great gift to give.
So how was your guys' weekend? Nick, KB, Mook, you guys were out of town. Great weekend. Yeah. That would be a great gift to give. So how was your guys' weekend?
Nick, KB, Mook.
It was nice.
You guys were out of town.
Great weekend.
Yeah?
It was nice.
You know, hit Abby's Generations, The Alpha.
Oh.
It's all West Virginia.
The three pyramids.
That's the big three.
I did all there was to do in Indianapolis.
Which was?
I woke up and left.
Nice.
Yeah. So it was nice. Which was? I woke up and left. Nice. Yeah.
So it was nice. It was great.
You guys missed quite a show on
Friday. You did.
Do tell.
We went deep.
Oh, big justification.
How dare you slander?
Brandon. Okay.
You say slander. I say
questioning. I just say I put it out there.
But you know the way you question.
It's to get people on your, it's to plant seeds.
It's to start conversations.
I think we need to have a dialogue in this country about green screens and Costco's.
Is your name Brendan now, by the way?
Yeah, to AJ it is.
Brendan.
Yeah.
AJ was calling you Brendan?
Did you tell him to do that?
No, he just started calling him Brandon.
We literally did forensic accounting with him.
He was producing receipts, bank statements, everything.
Is the bridge burnt?
No, no, no, no.
For me, it is.
God is back.
We're still getting the boys in.
Yeah, I have also the update that you guys missed.
I shifted all communication to Stephen Shea.
Perfect.
He's now on a text chain with both AJ and the rizzlers father oh perfect yeah yeah how's that text chain going steven
um that chain specifically not a lot of action but aj has been texting me quite a lot okay
all right yeah we have to we have to talk to logistics this week yeah justice took one on
the chin in that drink swapping. Yeah.
We got to let him get some redemption.
Some people think he did that to bring Rizzler down a notch.
Yeah, there's been a lot of talk about that.
Yeah, I'm not.
Definitely, yeah.
He was getting in Rizzler's head.
There's turmoil bubbling.
TJ, I think it's March 9th.
Is that when we're getting Rizzler?
No, that's when Brandon's contract's up.
We got a countdown clock.
So do we think?
How do you know that?
I think you told me.
I didn't know that.
Is this your last shot?
Is this your last big contract?
Well, he's retiring.
I don't think so.
No?
I'll have to work for a while.
No, no, no.
I think this is your prime.
Yeah, this is your prime.
This is your last big one. This is my last big bite at the apple?
Yeah.
I mean, I haven't really thought about it.
Big Cat.
Yeah, you're like a running back.
But you bring it up constantly.
You're like a 28-year-old running back.
Yeah.
Too much tread on my tires?
You've gotten a lot of carries.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, hopefully I'll get to March and we'll come up with something.
Get the highlight.
You need to stop entering into every conversation.
You were bringing it up to people that aren't in Barstool.
Yeah, it's funny.
All right.
We got the moment of her asking if you were going to retire.
Well, I didn't enjoy that moment as much.
Oh, I enjoyed that.
That's funny.
It was very funny.
She was very earnest, too.
Yeah.
She was just like, oh, you're the age of retirement.
She also kind of, you know how you do to old people?
She kind of leaned in like, oh, you're retiring.
Yeah, right.
And I was having the time of my life.
She did that all the time.
Oh, man, was I laughing it up.
I just love when we're out in the real world and we're just doing the show in front of people who have no idea what's going on.
That's what we were doing.
I just don't know how to switch it off anymore.
Yeah, right.
We were just doing a private yak for this one lady.
It was a banger of an episode.
Yeah, good episode.
Good episode.
It had all the hits.
Made me feel terrible.
No, but Brandon, you did a great job.
You were social.
You were having fun.
I drank like 14 glasses of wine.
You keep saying that.
You didn't.
You had probably like four.
That's a lot.
It was insane how much wine.
They said no one's ever drank this much wine.
Who was the star of the wedding?
Connor Griffin.
Connor Griffin.
Connor Griffin.
Connor Griffin.
Connor Griffin rizzed up
every wife that was there.
Every single one.
And Connor Griffin and Cody,
we looked behind us
and it was just them
and Greg Oden
and his daughter.
They were just
at dinner.
Yeah.
It was like a three-hour dinner.
And it was just the four of them
having a conversation
for three hours.
I pulled Connor aside
before the wedding
and I said,
just so you know,
I'm sorry,
but there aren't a lot
of single women here.
And he lowers his sunglasses.
He goes, you think I give a fuck?
And put him right back up.
And then he rinsed up every single wife at that wedding.
That sounds like him.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
Look at him.
The beast.
Yeah, it makes a perfect sense.
The animal.
This is on that mode.
What a beast.
I got to ask.
I had serious FOMO seeing you guys all lined up in your creed shirts oh yeah that
was fun yeah how was creed it started off rough but it they saved it they saved it there was a
two-hour weather delay yeah oh how close were you to leaving not close because I I will be I don't
think I told you this I pulled out my uber app oh you were I did I looked at it I was like how far
would I have to walk hours way too long I wasn't I I wasn't actually going to – I was just collecting information.
I was like, if I was to leave, what would that look like?
You guys blamed Connor?
Yeah, we did.
For the weather?
Wait, two hours?
He bought the tickets in December.
I'm out.
I would have been out.
I'm out.
I'm gone.
We didn't know it was two hours when it started.
I will say, too, in order to get in the Uber, you have to walk through the storm.
So that factored into me not leaving.
I was like, I'm undercover right now.
Do I want to walk in a thunderstorm to get into a car?
Not really.
Decidedly no.
If we hadn't been directly under the cover, because some of the cover still got rain in there.
If we hadn't been in the exact right spot, we might have left.
Also, it wasn't the worst seats.
No, it was fine for that.
That was the best.
No, it sounded great.
You could almost see the band.
That's perfect.
That's a perfect concept. Exactly what you want. Throw up an Instagram
story where you can, you know, it's just
muffled sound and all you can hear
is the people singing. Yeah, you could not, the video
I put out, you could not hear the band at all.
It's awesome. Was the whole crowd just groups
of dudes? Oh yeah. It was
a dude's rock on a night. It was a lot
of it. Every woman there had a
every woman that was there had a man's hand in her back pocket.
Okay.
That's a great crowd.
Oh, Titus, I love when you go beast mode, dude.
Yeah.
So fun.
Is that Pixel in the center, Scott's dad?
Yeah.
Oh, he looks good.
I love it.
I love it.
Oh, shit.
Look at those butt tugs.
You guys fight anyone?
Oh, yeah.
Good question.
Brandon had a few dust-ups. No way't know i'll let brandon talk but i'll
just say this first so like brandon gets a reputation for being soft on the internet
and blocking a lot of people when you see it in person you got blocked in person no i see what
he did like there were there were guys who literally like i'm standing right next to
brandon they would come up they'd be like titus huge fucking fan and like dap me up and then they
would turn to brandon like point his face and be like Titus huge fucking fan And like dap me up and then they would turn to Brandon
And like point his face and be like you're a stupid fucking redneck
Like right this moment
Really you did that in real life
I was like what
Damn
You think we're responsible for that
Directly
I don't feel any shame
But he was nice to me so I thought that was
Guy walks up to Titus and says Titus huge fan You're the man man turns to me and said you're a fucking hick oh you should have knocked
him out yeah yeah you should have knocked him that happened in uh indie too what yeah it happens a
lot yeah me and brandon were on the street some dude goes mook what's going on and like brandon's
like in the background he goes of course brandon's walking away and he like didn't say he didn't said he walks up he says mook and i just keep walking because he doesn't say brandon and then
he treats me like i i just shunned him but he wanted to see you you were a nervous nelly before
that show uh i i get nervous a lot but that was oh now that you guys are back that was fucking
fun too it's fun great show it went pretty well yeah shockingly well it was really i was yeah surprised did you talk about uh what you said in my uber that brought me down a full
star rating oh no you lost a star because i lost a full star because of what okay okay what no what
happened we're riding in an uber right why were you in an uber because i had gone across the street to have
drinks at the hotel with them and it started raining but he didn't get one because he got
nervous he's like i gotta get back to the venue and it started raining so we had to uber back
and there's across the street it wasn't across the street it was like two blocks okay and so
we get in the car and we're riding and somebody somebody else cuts us off i don't remember what
the other car did what the other car did no no we talked about how i got driven up by a girl and i said the ride was
smooth the entire time yeah no we got cut off by another car and it was a woman i said can you
look at that can you imagine that a woman driving a car yeah you said that in the Uber? Yeah. And it was a woman driver. Oh. Oh.
Damn.
Her name was Anita.
Yeah.
Was because she died in a car accident.
Did it at least play in the laughing?
Did she laugh?
I don't think she understood.
No, and then we just kept going.
I go, thank you for tanking my rating.
He goes, well, it's true.
Yeah.
I don't think she understood. I don't think she heard us.
Or was paying attention to us, so it was fine.
So maybe it was just the tone of your voice brought down
the rating. Where was the Uber?
Was that the same night I flipped somebody off on the Uber?
Jesus, man. What are you doing?
Do you lose all your morals?
Who was with me when I did that?
You were in the backseat of an Uber
with road rage? Yeah, I had to
lean up and flip the guy off because the driver wouldn't do it.
You what?
No, it was Connor Griffin.
We were going to eat barbecue before Cree because that's what you do.
And we were going down Two Way Street, but somebody plugged up the other lane coming out,
and we couldn't go in there, and the driver was frustrated.
He was like, can you believe this? And I just leaned up and i flipped him off oh he probably appreciated
that yeah and he smiled he laughed and was having fun and but that was also a woman driver kate you
went to the zoo with chay yes i'm in the group chat yep um did you said chay had a moment he
almost went brandon reptile House at Monkey House.
At Monkey House?
We get there.
Start of the day, me and my squad are following Che because he knows the lay of the land.
He's the leader, yeah.
You get to the Monkey House because it opens at 10.
So we're in line to be the first ones into the Monkey House.
But there's already like 20 people in front of us, and we're waiting.
It's 10.03.
It's 10.05.
We've got toddlers. You can't. They don't we're waiting. It's 10.03. It's 10.05.
We've got toddlers.
You can't.
Yeah.
They don't wait for nothing.
You're not standing still.
It's 10.10.
It's getting out of control.
Up at the front door of the monkey house are two very large men that look like bouncers.
They're wearing all black.
They have like lanyards they're wearing.
And Jay's like, I'm going to go up there and see what's going on.
So he goes up to ask these two dudes who appear to work at the monkey house,
why can't we get in here?
What's going on?
They were just there to take pictures of the monkeys.
They were there to go to the zoo.
Oh, no.
And he thought they were.
You thought they were monkeys?
Monkey house bouncer?
We're here to see the monkeys?
Can you let us in?
Oh, I went up.
Yeah, I mean, it's like 15 minutes past when it's supposed to open.
I go up and say, hey, you guys, what's the wait?
They're like, I don't know.
This is crazy.
I was like, well, do you know when we're going to get in?
They're like, oh, we don't work here.
Oh, no. It was just two big dudes alone with no kids, so he assumed.
Photographers.
Photographers, yeah.
They were taking pictures of the monkeys.
That's what they were assigned to do?
They didn't work there at all.
He just thought they did.
Everybody thought they did.
Did you think that? Yeah, you thought they did. Kind of, yeah. The work there at all. He just thought they did. Everybody thought they did. Did you think that?
Kind of, yeah.
The monkey house bouncers.
The monkey house bouncers.
We're on the list.
Let me see some ID, pal.
Everybody was going to be on the list.
They're like, how many chicks you with?
Yeah, we're not going to listen.
Brandon, was this an ideal weekend for you
or too much to do?
Oh, you didn't have a weekend.
It was too much. He complained we were walking this morning. I had a to do? Oh, you didn't have a weekend. It was too much.
He complained we were walking this morning.
I had a six-hour weekend.
I didn't have a weekend.
You had a six-hour weekend?
Well, we had the live show, and I didn't get to go home that night, Thursday night.
Friday night, I didn't get to go home until 1 o'clock.
Saturday, I had to go home, pick her up, come back here.
We stayed the night here.
I left yesterday morning, so I had about a six-hour weekend.
I like my weekends.
Yeah.
What's an ideal weekend?
Nothing.
Hitting for the Imus, a little nappy, blowjob, and garden work.
Yeah, something like that.
That's a good-ass day.
A good Imus.
Try to hit for the Imus.
Hit for the Imus.
A little nappy.
A little naus. Try to hit for the imus. A little nappy. A little nappy.
Yeah.
He didn't have a weekend.
No, I was a little cranky this morning.
He was very cranky this morning for his lack of a weekend.
Well, did you walk this morning?
Yeah.
I did.
Okay, good.
All for 50 minutes.
So it didn't disrupt you.
I didn't do anything yesterday and Saturday, though.
I averaged 12,000 steps a day Monday through Fridayiday and then i probably had 8 000 total the last two days
i thought i would walk more ties this wedding but it wasn't a walking situation it was a sitting
situation just fine you didn't dance no i stood over with i sat and talked to the old people
oh yeah my wife talked to your grandmother for 45 minutes yeah what'd you do dj we we had a dj yeah
yeah he played uh so at the creed concert we took our shirt off when higher came on
at the at the wedding that was the last song of the night and we all took our shirts off
and then we went to a bar after that bar and we walked in within two minutes they played higher and like and the the rest of
the the like cody and connor and ebo and those guys they were like let's fucking do it and i
just had like a look on my face like i don't fuck i guess i gotta i guess we're doing this again
yeah for the third time in in 24 hours um you guys all took your shirts off again yeah three
times yeah yeah that's what it started to dawn on me that this is a bit much that's probably how hours. You guys all took your shirts off again? Yeah, three times.
It started to dawn on me that this is a bit much.
That's probably how your wife imagined our wedding day.
This is a bit much.
It was a crazy week. It was a crazy
live show, Creed concert, wedding.
And you're gonna
miss summer camp. And I'm gonna miss summer camp,
which I'm so fucking
so mad about. I'm pumped for summer camp. And I'm going to miss summer camp, which I'm so fucking, so mad about.
I'm pumped for summer camp.
So mad.
So jealous you guys.
People are complaining about the bus ride.
I'm five hours.
Nothing to me anymore.
Yeah.
Nothing.
I did eight hours next to a 400-pound woman on Friday.
I saw her legs.
Yeah, I saw the build.
She looked 400.
Yeah, she was.
She looked like Robin Williams made her in a lab.
I looked at her kneecap and I could tell she was 400 pounds.
When the kneecap floats.
It's like a magic eight ball.
Yeah, it's like.
I would wake up and somehow my hand was like disappearing.
Really?
Just trapped. It was crazy. Really? Just trapped.
It was crazy.
Her name was Nay.
She was a holistic healer on the way to Atlanta to find herself.
Oh, she had a lot more to go.
That should be easy.
Yeah, she had another eight on top of the eight that we did.
It's what, five hours?
You just gave some of the most unique details about a person that you're making fun of.
I love her
we follow each other we've been talking oh for real yeah stay in touch hell yes you should let
her heal you yeah she tried what she said there's something off about me about my energy there was
we were in florida once we were in this town me and kyle with donnie a town of like psychics yeah
it's crazy and this woman without a pinky pinky touched Kyle and started weeping. What?
Without a pinky?
Yeah, that was like a minor detail, but I couldn't stop looking at the lack of.
Yeah, she's just bawling.
She touched him.
She's like, you're messed up.
I was like, oh my God.
Weeping.
I've been chill.
How quickly did you know that she didn't have a pinky?
I didn't know she didn't have a pinky. She had her hands all over you, but I know that she didn't have a pinky? I didn't know she didn't have a pinky
She had her hands all over you
But I noticed when somebody doesn't have a pinky
Yeah, that's something you definitely would notice
A pinky-less woman
Both pinkies?
Just one pinky
I think you gotta take the other one off
To balance everything out?
Yeah, to even you out
Otherwise you'd probably get vertigo
Isn't that like your little toe?
I think if you lose your little toe
I think that's what they say
It fucks you up?
I don't know if there's any bad for losing pinky.
Does your ring finger become your pinky?
Not as fancy when you sip.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to see if my ring finger could become my pinky if I lost my pinky.
So you take off your ring finger and move it over to where the pinky is?
No, the ring would go to the middle.
This is my new pinky.
Well, then what's your new middle finger?
Yeah.
You don't have one.
You're just going to be down one. You wouldn't be able to flip anyone off in an uber yeah i can't lose that no you gotta keep that i mean if you lose a pinky you
still don't have a middle finger right because then there's only four yeah you have to do like
an upward motion there's no middle finger no you'd have to put it together and your middle finger
would then be your thumb your right thumb and people won't
think you're mad if you're mad at somebody you're happy yeah kyle you're gonna get into hijinks in
summer camp yeah you're gonna thrive when in doubt water good point easiest thing you can do
the laziest thing i've ever done is go 10 years with just barely drinking water. Yeah. Brandon started drinking water.
But do you know what's even lazier than that?
What?
Riding the auto walk.
Oh, I.
Oh.
That set me off this weekend.
You call that an auto walk?
The automatic walkway?
I call it a people mover.
How do you just stand?
But there's two sides.
Or a moving sidewalk.
There's a standing side and a walking side.
Oh, I don't agree with the standing side.
All right, you're not only too lazy to walk,
you're too lazy to effortlessly walk.
You're not even walking with help.
No.
You have help and you're still walking.
It's not fun to walk on the sidewalk.
Don't ride the auto walk.
I definitely have ridden the auto walk.
Were you in the Pittsburgh airport?
It takes no energy or strain to walk automatically.
It's a blast.
I love walking on those.
There's sides, though.
Well, there's, you know, some people have luggage.
You got to put the luggage in front of you and just kind of chill.
But the people who stand, they do try to stand off to the side.
They are not people that you can easily get around.
No.
That's the issue.
You ever been on a bouncy one of those?
Oh, yeah.
They always have a little gift to them.
Memphis has a bouncy ass one.
I wish they just had those on sidewalks.
Yeah.
Why don't we?
That would be awesome.
Have you ever seen a Memphis pool party?
Yeah.
No.
Is that a specific thing?
It's just 16 dudes doing flips into the water. Oh, that sounds awesome. With their socks on. With fully clothed. Yeah. No. Is that a specific thing? It's just 16 dudes doing flips into the water.
Oh, that sounds awesome.
With their socks on.
With fully clothed.
Yeah.
And a wife beater, yeah.
Yeah.
I love that.
Memphis pool party.
We got to go.
It's called quaking the pool, right?
Is that what it's called?
Oh, when they get the big waves going?
I think you just, you're just really, it's a cooler way for them to say they're splish
splashing around.
Yeah.
Got it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Memphis quaking a pool.
I think Chef Donnie's gone to a pool quake.
I want to go to a pool quake now.
Right now?
Yeah.
Yeah, they're about to quake it.
Oh, he almost jumped all the way across.
Oh, that's awesome.
Oh, we got to quake the lake.
Socks.
Oh, we can have a word show.
Well, that ain't Memphis.
Quake the pool.
Quaking.
That's who started this, Memphis or Florida?
Florida or California?
Florida.
They're actually quaking the fuck out of that one.
Yeah, this is really quaked pool
i think we need we need a quake off between memphis and clark
oh i don't know how that would end this one's jump
i want to quake a pool let's get one here just to quake it yeah yeah right on the court
there's a service i know it's in chicago they'll come quake your? Yeah. Right on the court? There's a service. I know it's in Chicago.
They'll come quake your pool?
No, people will vent out.
Yeah.
Sorry, can't come get my pool quaked today.
You can rent people's private pools in their backyards.
I saw that.
That's kind of crazy.
I know.
I don't know if I would do that.
Airbnb for a pool.
I'm trying to think of what scenario.
I'm not out on it.
I just need to know more.
What is,
what are we doing that for?
Are you using their bathroom?
Right.
Are they gawking at you?
Right.
Are they watching out the window?
I think they're just living in there.
Oh, like their home.
Yeah, their home.
Yeah.
Oh.
We should get one
and just quake it.
We should go somewhere.
Show up, quake it, leave.
Yak live, quake the pool.
How many pools could we quake in a day?
Whoa.
Wow, I think I'd get tired after about three.
We just go pool quaking for an entire day?
Yeah.
Show up, quake it, see ya, thanks.
Off to the next quake.
Yeah.
I used to pool hop as a kid.
Oh, yeah.
Pool hop is great.
Yeah, that's thrilling. It was a kid. Oh, yeah. Pool hop is great.
Yeah, that's thrilling.
It was so thrilling. I never did.
But it's also pointless.
I put my feet in.
Yeah.
I was scared.
It was in your neighborhood.
Yeah, one of my neighbors had an above-ground pool in the front yard.
Oh, that's just being invited to pool hop.
Yeah.
You literally made that to pool hop.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Please come pool hop.
Above-ground pools rock.
That one you can do the whirlpool in where everyone goes in a circle.
I like above ground pools.
They are.
They're just-
Wave pool.
Because there's just no-
And don't try to hide what you are.
Don't put a deck around it.
Yeah.
No.
And you know also like an above ground pool, you can just be trashy.
You don't have to follow any rules.
Just madness. There's like no ladder you're always
breaking something as you're getting it's great oh my god yeah you could swim for like five feet
and then turn around what can you do you can't do it you just sit in it really yeah you get the
whirlpool going your uncle jim comes out you're gonna break the side yeah right cut it out yeah don't touch the liner um we got some updates from
clember by the way oh oh he had a big weekend yeah he had a big weekend the biggest weekend
out of all also he didn't have a big weekend well he he had exactly what we expected yeah
so i think we have the video leonardo uh is not gonna get a tattoo which who could have seen that one coming
literally everyone loved to see in the pitch because he he wasn't on board even a little bit
no 10 he said so this is also i'm just michelangelo and uh we talked to leonardo
he said 10 chance he he'd get a tattoo.
Strong 10%.
Well, that doesn't mean 10%.
I thought he was wearing a duvet.
Wait, he's not?
He's never wanted to get a tattoo ever.
So that's troubling.
So I don't know what this means.
I don't know what this means for us.
What do you think it means?
I don't care.
I'm going to die first.
You aren't going to die first.
These boys.
They're wild.
Because we decided to do this originally.
I'm surprised these two pitchmen couldn't sell them on a tax bill.
Why is Eddie tagged?
I don't know.
Oh, I think he had Clemmer on to talk about it.
Okay.
The last person to stay alive gets the last tattoo.
Does the person who says they're going to die first ever die first?
I feel like that never happened.
No, that guy is...
Oh, that's someone who is cautious.
Yes.
Who is always thinking about death.
They just say it.
He's good at avoiding it.
So, Leonardo's out.
I think one of us should just get Leonardo.
We had a side chat.
Yeah.
And just be like, hey, either...
Do you have to take us now?
Yeah.
So, one of us will have to get Leonardo.
Yeah, I'm down to do a wheel for it.
I am too.
Yep, same.
Are we figuring this out right now?
Okay.
Should we ask Clemmer?
We should probably ask Clemmer.
I think whoever gets the Leonardo, like that's not,
they will have to go with Clemmer's crew like once a year.
You have to be their friend.
You have to be in their group chat.
This is going to, I'm not doing it. Okay, that okay that's fine yeah i think there's a wheel that you can say
you're out on it's just gonna be me and you're gonna not you know how the yak in barstool works
we're not gonna give a fuck about this tomorrow right i don't care about it today we're gonna
run we're gonna be stuck with a ninja turtle yeah turtle tattoo i mean do you my entire thigh is a
shitty drawing
I got from Vibs
nobody thinks of that
ever
you have a tungsten cube
on my thigh
I guess
I think Nick just has to
get a Leonardo
yeah
what it's coming down to
because you actually
do like Clemmer
I love Clemmer
right
well I think we should
wheel for who it is
and wheel for size
ooh
wait and can we
wheel for location
back tap
yeah like
upper leg,
back, arm. Sure.
Che would be very funny to have a wheel.
Yeah. He probably would fit in
with those guys. I already have one tattoo from this show.
I know. Right.
So,
who cares?
Why don't you get one?
Your rib cage?
Oh, hell no.
What's the tattoo you got for the show?
It's phonetically wrong, too.
Is there no apostrophe?
No apostrophes.
Yeah.
Has anyone ever seen that or pointed it out to you?
My kids all the time.
Like someone else.
What do you mean your kids all the time?
They don't know that there's no apostrophe.
Oh,
uh,
no,
no one outside of the show.
Brady,
you want to get a Leonardo tattoo?
No,
very much.
No.
Okay.
I don't want to get a tattoo.
No,
no.
I made it this far.
Might as well finish the cycle with some awesome tattoos.
You'd be cool with a one hoop
earring yeah you would like no joke you'd look really cool i'd do that before i do a tattoo
perfect fuck oh so the wheel should just be you get to this if it lands on you there's a wheel
aside leonardo or one hoop earring you can get out of the leonardo if it lands on one
but then we go back to the wheel all right i'm in yeah you lands on you with a hoop earring. But then we go back to the wheel. I'm cool. All right. I'm in. Yeah.
You'd look good with a hoop earring too.
You pierce your ears all the time.
All the time.
All right. So is everyone in now that we have an out of the one hoop earring?
Titus, you ready to make a lifetime commitment?
One hoop earring's not bad.
Well, it's piercing your ear.
Yeah, but for a week.
Why is everybody looking at me?
I'm sorry. Oh, he's just said Titus.
I apologize.
Can you pick where the hoop goes?
Can you get like a little one up top? Or it's gotta be
for you guys. I think a Harrison
Ford lobe. Yeah, Michael Jordan.
Yeah. I think we'd be more Harrison
Ford than...
You get an earring and you look like
Michael Jordan.
You could be out.
Is that true about earrings?
If you don't have something in it, it does naturally close up?
Yeah, it will close back up.
I haven't worn earrings.
It's not going to land on you, Titus.
That's the thing.
It's not going to land on me.
Right.
It never does.
It won't land on me.
Yeah, you're fine.
I have the same thought you do, Brandon.
I don't think I ever would have cared that much,
but it's like the older I get, the more I care more
because it's just like I made it this far.
You survived this long without the temptation.
It's not like I've spent my whole life being like,
I'll never get a tattoo or a piercing,
but it's more just like it's kind of pathetic to be almost 40
having never gotten a tattoo or
piercing and then do it. Especially
after I got married, that's a cry for help.
Getting out of the early 20s without a
tattoo or piercing kind of means you're
going to make it. Wait, but
counterpoint, this is for Clemmer.
Yeah, this is for Clemmer, who loves me.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah.
That makes it cool again. You care more
as you get older?
About what?
Like appearance or?
No, I care about like why would I do this now?
I understand.
The act that like you established by the time you're 30,
you've established whether you're a tattoo person or not.
And I don't.
I'm not.
And so I think if I was to do something now,
it would be a cry for help,
especially mere moments after I get married.
I don't understand how the outside world would not interpret this as like a crisis.
No, I agree with you.
I've always wanted a tattoo, but it's too late.
It's too late.
No, no, that's the sunk cost, Fal.
No, because once you get to this point in your life,
if I get a tattoo, everyone's just going to be like, midlife crisis.
Right. The perfect example is
Chris D'Elia. He got the
neck tat after it got cancelled. That was a
distraction. He got 41 on his neck
and now he's fully sleeved. His age?
Yeah. He got his age tattooed?
He got the number 41 on his neck.
I want to see his neck tat. I didn't know he had a neck tat.
Yeah, he's got a neck tat. Is he going to get it updated?
I'll throw out a second idea here. I didn't know he had a necktie. Yeah, he's got a necktie. Is he going to get it updated? I'll throw out a second idea here.
I'd be a lot more willing to join the Ninja Turtle group if I could be Donatello.
I don't want to be Leonardo.
That's true.
I'd like to be Raphael.
Wait a minute.
So if Clemmer would-
Get Donatello.
If Clemmer would change his Donatello to Leonardo, I'd possibly get Donatello.
But I don't want to be Leonardo.
Yeah, I've thought about that too.
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
I didn't know he had that.
That's a cry for help.
Is that him letting girls know, like,
you can't say you didn't know that I'm 41.
Right.
Right there.
It's your fault.
He's counting his victims.
Is there something wrong with his skin?
A couple things.
Sober dude.
Really? Oh, he did that? Did he do that after? Yeah couple things. Sober, dude. Really?
Oh, he did that?
Did he do that after?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's always.
Smart.
Yeah.
Oh, he's always been.
Yeah, it's like if you're getting canceled, go sober.
Or like Kevin Spacey, come out as gay.
That was incredible.
Yeah.
You can't cancel me.
I'm gay.
Yeah, it's just two bad things.
We're like Buddhists.
Yeah.
All right, so it's tattoo the earring or we'll do a third option.
Which is nothing.
What's like a simple body mod?
That's easy to.
I think breast implants.
Yeah, breast implants would be pretty simple.
I'll do that.
I'll do that.
Now I'm in.
Hair coloring. Oh. It's not going to land on you be pretty simple. I'll do that. Now I'm in. Hair coloring.
Oh.
It's not going to land on you, Titus.
I'll go bleach blonde.
You look neat.
Spin it.
Fuck.
You know you look neat.
It looks so good.
Like Joe Burrow.
Yeah, I guess.
Spin it once here just to see what it would have been.
Just give me a taste.
I want to know what it feels like.
I want to know.
So this would be non-elimination.
Yeah.
Someone to get Donatello or a hoop earring.
This does not count.
This doesn't count.
But you'll see that it doesn't land on you.
You'll know it's not a big deal.
Yeah, we're all good.
TJ would get that in a heartbeat.
Yeah, TJ.
He'd be fine.
This is an eliminator, you said?
I have a massive shark tattooed on my arm.
Yeah, you have a big shark.
Now, Brandon, does that make you feel better?
Are you ready to do this for real?
Well, now we've eliminated.
It's not going to land on TJ twice.
Yeah, but we would do Eliminator.
So now TJ's got a more likely chance to be the last person.
Well, I feel like there needs to be a third option.
There needs to be a third option.
I'm not getting a tattoo.
You'll get a hoop.
I'll get a hoop.
I'm more likely to get a hoop earring, but I'm still not very to get you could even get like the barry bonds big cross yeah that would look cool
oh man that cross fucking cool get a perm brandon oh perm now perm would be more yeah i think what
about what about what about uh the third option is a uh goatee for a month?
I'd do that.
No problem.
I'll do that now.
I love the perm idea on his hair.
You look like a little broccoli.
What about shave all your body hair?
You don't have a lot.
I barely have it.
Yeah, you kind of don't.
Yeah, I don't know.
You're unpunishable.
What else could we do?
Like eye contacts?
Ooh, ooh, spray tan.
Like a deep spray tan. Are you saying give other people eye contacts? Ooh, ooh, spray tan. Like a deep spray tan.
Are you saying give other people eye contact?
That's Kyle's first punishment.
Please no.
Gotta look in people's eyes.
God no.
Rather than the tattoo.
Okay.
Well, I mean, we should just... Or we could just not use this opportunity to punish ourselves.
Yeah, true.
I really want to see someone get a Donatello.
I want somebody to swoop in and get this...
Help him out.
It would piss him off.
Yeah.
And we could just be like, no, I got one too.
All right, let's table it for one.
All the boys that opt in, opt in.
Yeah, we could do an opt in, opt outout i'm in if there's a third option what about they do like
really natural looking eyelashes not shitty ones and so people be like oh my god big cat's eyelashes
are incredible what the hell like just a gorgeous set of eyelashes it would only last for like a
week and a half my wife who got very drunk the other night about 15 minutes before we left she she
leans over to me says i like big cat's eyebrows oh i was like i'm the only one and i was like
okay all right she can have them keep drinking keep drinking yeah i guess that's the yeah you
got to be like yeah really hammered to be like, those are not sides. But she didn't compliment you.
She just told it to me like it was a secret.
Yeah, she's one of one now.
Only person to the one of one pull.
Do you get them plucked?
No.
No?
Just bushing?
I wouldn't even know how to do that.
Just pluck them, probably.
Yeah, but it would hurt.
I'm a pussy.
What about one of those really well done temporary tattoos that eventually comes off?
So you have it for like six months?
I would love that.
All right.
I would love that.
I would probably do that.
Yeah, let's do that.
All right.
So you can decide whether it's permanent or like, you know the ones, I think they have
ones that are like.
Yeah, I think they'll last like a month.
You have to go somewhere for this or can you buy something?
We get to pick out what's on you there.
No, you go. I thought it was a Ninja Turtle. You could probably get one. No get to pick out what's on you there. No, you go.
I thought it was a Ninja Turtle.
You could probably get one.
No, it's got to be a Ninja Turtle.
No, full sleeves.
You could do like a henna last for quite some time.
Non-permanent.
Henna Friday.
Henna Friday.
Do they have all their Ninja Turtles in the same spot?
No.
They don't?
It's just all the way.
One was on the arm.
One was on the leg, right?
Two different spots.
I don't know.
I wasn't here when we were.
The guy on his leg and that guy's was on his arm oh okay yeah yeah i think there's like this yeah the
ephemeral tattoo what is this is that i don't know we've closed this location
oh that's not good not a huge market for tattoos that go away in three weeks i don't know they still do it through
other people that's a what is what is ephemeral tattoos what about uh you got to wear your jeans
backwards for a week no you gotta wear a t-shirt that says don't ask about the backwards jeans
it's fucking sick and twisted don't you dare
ask about the backwards
I wouldn't be able to resist
don't you dare
I would ask
yeah your fly's down
I've been looking at your ass
I'm looking this up what are you looking up? temporary tattoos? Yeah, your fly's down. I've been looking at your ass. I see your asshole.
I'm looking this up.
What are you looking up?
Temporary tattoos?
I think there are, yeah.
I think there's like... Look up backwards jeans.
See what the first result is.
It sounds like you want to look this up.
Does anybody ever sell...
Real tattoos made to fade...
Is there anywhere to fucking get those?
Real tattoos made to fade within three there anywhere to fucking get those? Real tattoos made to fade within three years.
No.
That's insane.
But that's what tattoos should be.
Yeah, I know.
That's like a perfect tattoo.
Three years from now.
I would have got a ton of tattoos in my 20s if I knew that.
Three years?
Yeah.
All right, we'll just not do it.
We'll table it.
We'll table it for Clever.
So he did get some purple hats.
He got three, I think.
Did he?
I think he got one for a dollar.
He got one from a child.
Yeah.
Which, that was uncomfortable.
What were the other two he got, TJ?
I think we saw the child on Friday here, right?
Malasek's not going with him.
So you guys were right.
What happened?
Yeah, he just didn't want to.
He said he's too busy.
Yeah.
So Jacob is going with him. And you guys, he's too busy yeah so jacob is going with
him and you guys we he's starting in new mexico you missed that we did oh no i was here yeah yeah
no yeah yeah we're here for that one right no it was thursday y'all weren't here for that you got
new mexico right on oh yeah we played geoguessr again which i think we're gonna have to play
again today because i just so far. Please. Far every day.
Steven is just.
Please, let's play.
Oh.
He got Texas because he thought the fence was too high.
I think there should be a one hour.
He got that one.
Yeah, I know.
He's like, ooh, this is a really high fence.
A one hour wide. And there was like a Texas, there was like a politician's thing.
Beto, right?
Yeah, it was Beto or something.
But he didn't see that
so he just guessed Texas he's like tall fence
yeah it makes sense
a one hour Stephen Che live show of him just surfing the web
whatever he wants
oh my god
go to Wikipedia
I don't really use that site
except for like
why don't you geoguess
last night I was I like to watch old sports games on YouTube I don't really use that site. Why don't you geoguess? I have a video for you.
Last night I was, I like to watch old sports games on YouTube to fall asleep.
That's where I'm at in my life.
And last night I found a video which was every Tampa Bay Buccaneers interception since 2002.
It was 22 seasons of interceptions.
It's two hours long and it was one of my, it made me go to sleep immediately, but i bet you would love it what season did you make it till uh i i went in and out i would wake up during like the 2017 season and uh i antoine winfield woke me up once with
his first career interception i went right back to sleep but it's it's a video for complete
tampa bay do you think you'll remember them all, Che? Certainly not, no.
I bet you'd remember a lot of them. I would remember the feeling
I got when I watched it, but like knowing
off the bat. Which is remembering. That's remembering.
The feeling you got of just happy?
Yeah, the feeling was good.
I would remember where I was, what I was eating.
Oh no, could I
rattle them off right now? Absolutely no chance.
Che will see a puppy and be like,
that reminds me of Rondé Barber.
Favorite player?
He's your favorite player.
He's on there a lot.
Yeah.
Damn right.
You named both your children Rondé.
No, it wasn't even since 2002.
It was like since 91.
It was a crazy – because it started out in the creamsicle jerseys.
Okay.
What a video.
I want to find them for every team now.
It's just something that is so mindless to watch.
I loved it so much, and I just knew Che would also enjoy it.
We had a great time watching those.
What was it?
When we were in the popcorn?
Yeah, we need to do more of those.
The top 100 or something?
Was it every touchdown?
No, it was the top 100 plays of whatever year was previous.
2021 probably.
Wow.
Yeah, those are good.
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Okay, just do a little states until you get it.
All right.
50 seconds?
Yeah.
His ooh every time.
Ooh.
And I know that we'll probably be like,
oh, you guys really do this every day.
This is just like, remember when we used to do Family Feud?
Oregon Trail. We're getting way. I wouldn just like family feud. Oregon Trail.
I wouldn't mind doing family
feud again. Yeah, I wouldn't mind either.
This is either like Massachusetts
or Oregon. Okay.
This looks like Cape Cod.
That's a house.
Well, that's
that style of house.
This is Massachusetts.
Oh, if he's right on the first try.
What if he's wrong?
Oh, no.
Second level.
This house is a little bit more new for my tasting.
Oh, no.
For my tasting.
For my tasting.
Red Door.
Yep.
That's good.
Ready to be married.
This is Massachusetts.
He's done.
Red Door. Capital of the world. This is Massachusetts. He's died. Famous for Red Doors.
Capital of the world.
Lock it in.
Bang!
Bang!
Let's go.
God damn it.
That was really impressive.
Not on the first one.
Holy fucking shit.
He's just good at it.
All right, stay hot.
See if you can get a streak going.
The Red Doors were a tell.
The Red Doors.
The Red Doors gave it away.
That was almost too easy.
Well, there were two Red Doors. Yeah, I know. That's what I'm saying. The red doors. That was almost too easy. Well, there were two red doors.
When you see two red doors, you have to think
Massachusetts.
I think we all know
where this one's going.
Oh, oh, oh. How do I turn around?
What do you see?
What do you see?
There's some type of sign, it looks like.
Oh, you're right.
Verb Valley. Oh, no. You got this. There's some type of sign it looks like Oh you're right River Valley Let's go
You got this
You gotta go back further
River Alley Cooperative
River Alley
Oh here we go River Valley
Okay so it's a place near a river
Well also near a valley.
Country.
Ten seconds.
Ah, crap.
What states have rivers?
Missouri has.
Yeah.
Mississippi River.
No red doors.
Which doesn't.
So, none.
Massachusetts.
Oh.
All right, we had a good run.
Keep going.
Until you get another one.
Oh.
Oh, intersection.
I love it.
Oh, every time.
I was going to look for the street sign.
Gas station, speedway.
Mm-hmm.
I feel like those are all over.
Is that a Midas?
Oh.
Oh, these type of signs.
Yeah.
It's more Florida-y.
Oh, and there's palm trees.
The sign in front of a palm tree.
Vertical signs.
Oh, 3, 2, 1.
That looks fake.
What is that?
Chick-fil-A, McDonald's.
Okay, we've really narrowed it down.
Red Roof Inn.
Oh, bro is cooking.
Oh, that's a Bob Evans.
$199, yes.
Is this current? This is probably
Florida.
Yeah!
He's just good.
He's good at it.
He's good.
Damn it.
I'm good at that game.
You are good at that game.
Two out of three.
Ain't bad.
Damn it.
All right, Family Feud.
If you get a strike, you're on the wheel for the tattoo.
Oh.
We haven't played Family Feud in forever.
That was a good run.
I love Family Feud.
That was a good run.
Really fun
We should do a week where we do all the
Throwback things that never worked
Yeah try it again
Yeah retry week
Lottery week
We were ahead
You were tank Thursdays
Ahead of your time with a
Now the people will be ready for it
Tank Thursdays
Oh my god we did Tank Thursdays
Ebony Wednesdays
Did we do Ebony Wednesday? No
I did
What else
We got our ashes
Newspaper Week
Oh Newspaper Week was good
Scratch Off Week
which I think I never even cashed the ones we had So we did that over the phone newspaper week was terrible oh newspaper week was good uh scratch off week scratch off week which i
think i never even cashed the ones that we had so we did that over the phone yeah that's right
so you had to describe what you were scratching off caleb obviously didn't buy one he was just
making a noise and that's right nope uh it was the uh scratch off week. I mean, I wish we could do the what candy are we eating.
That was an all-time.
That worked.
I guess we could do it with like a...
Just put it like a...
Yeah, we should probably bring that back.
Yeah, just have a candy eater.
Of course, we'd have to have calls to be able to do the guesses.
We could guess it.
Let's just buy a burner phone and put out the phone number for one
episode. And just see
who calls in? Yeah.
The answer
is, of course, a reason.
We wanted to do live debates where
we just put up flyers being like,
meet us here to
debate anything. Really? Yeah.
Would be fun.
What are you doing? Why are you stomping?
Scratching my foot. That does work
sometimes. That was a foot scratch? You don't do that
sometimes? I do that sometimes. Like the bottom of your foot?
Yeah, the bottom of my foot itches, so I'm just
trying to knock it out. Stomping?
You don't do that? How are you going to be at this camp?
Bad.
It's not going to be hot. I know. It's going to be it out. Stop. You don't do that? How are you going to be at this camp? Bad. It's not going to be hot.
I know.
It's going to be sunny, though.
I don't know, man.
We'll just have to get through it together.
And by together, I just mean me, by myself.
We'll get through it.
It's a long drive.
We'll be fine.
You're going to be okay.
You're making me compete.
I retired.
The season's not over. I successfully okay. You're making me compete. I retired.
The season's not over.
I successfully retired.
We just saw somebody blow out their ACL last week or their Achilles,
and then Hank was going to let me just ride off in the sunset, and you called in a favor, and you overruled me,
and you're making me compete.
Because the season's not over.
That doesn't matter.
I was retiring because I'm scared of injury.
But you hit that shot, and I was like, this guy can't retire.
I didn't want to be out there for the shot.
These are just camp games, are they not?
Yeah, these are going to be easy games.
Low impact.
Can you swim?
Y'all are definitely launching me with a catapult into the water at some point or something.
Y'all are doing something.
That's what we're doing on the yak.
That's not the camp games.
We couldn't find a big enough catapult for you.
Yeah, we do have a blob that I think we will try to work into the act maybe wednesday you'll be the
blobber though probably not the blobby there's gonna be blobby i don't know we're gonna have a
great time i'm so jealous bunk i'm so fucking jealous i wish i could be there with you guys
still come uh rico's coming right yes Doesn't he have horrible night terrors?
Yes.
Is the bunk situation just a
row of beds?
I don't know.
It's six beds to a house, I think.
Or a cabin.
My dumb ass is going to be in Switzerland
where you guys get to sleep with Rico in a cabin.
Shit, you must feel so stupid.
Grab me an army knife, pussy.
And cheese.
Some chocolate.
Chocolate.
Oh!
There we go.
G4Clock.com.
It says created with love.
By Nathan.
Nathan made that.
Thank you, Nathan.
There's no such thing as Chicago time zone.
Central, yeah.
Central.
I've not once made a deal out of this.
I just think we should.
You've made a big deal.
I know.
We should keep it present of mind, you know, like time.
All right.
People think you have unlimited time together.
This could be it.
And we don't.
Can we.
What?
Can we get a 200-day hourglass?
Oh.
That would be so cool. oh my god brandon yes
how do you flip that how many 200 how do you even i don't know if you could there's gotta be that's
gotta be a thing that's a that's huge yep how do you get it how many hours just hourglasses.com how many oh no probably not 240 probably can't do
it for 200 days why not there just needs to be a smaller hole there's got to be an hourglass we
can buy it feels like it'd be a lot of sand right but yeah the most sand yeah and then
like they would fill up this entire building amount of sand yeah i'm willing to do it
you're willing to get a building's worth of sand just to have yeah again i i don't mind that you
bring my contract up on the show but when we're out in public and you just say it to strangers
well we were riffing and i had already had to strangers. Well, we were riffing.
And I had already had 15 glasses of wine.
Yeah, you were riffing.
I was just kind of holding on for dear life.
We were riffing.
We were riffing.
We were doing the show.
We were doing a little, you know, pick and roll.
A little okey-doke?
Yeah, we had some pick and roll going.
We were feeling it.
We were doing some funny bits.
You guys were a hit.
Yeah, they're like these two.
They package deal.
One of them's deal is up in five months.
I didn't bring that up.
Yeah, well, you have.
By the way, my wife didn't even know.
Really?
Oh, shit.
Here it is. What is that one?
All right, so we need to buy this.
Largest in the world.
Takes a year to fill.
Oh, I thought it would be bigger.
That's awesome.
I thought it would be bigger than that.
Does it really need that structure?
It's an industrial hourglass.
Where's the sand?
In the glass.
Oh, my God.
How big is it?
I need it.
I can't tell.
Yeah, there's nothing to put it to scale.
It looks kind of small.
I think they might be lying about it.
They don't know how long that's going to last.
Yeah, there's no way they know how long that's going to last.
Where is this?
Japan.
It has to be, yeah.
Why did it have to be Japan?
It had to be China or Japan.
Oh, okay.
Because those are two different places.
Nima Sand Museum.
There's a sand museum?
There's a museum for everything.
That's true.
You think so?
Yeah.
Colored pencils.
There's definitely a museum for colored pencils.
And for white pencils.
Separate but equal museums.
Is there a yak museum? There will be. Noate but equal museums. Is there a Yak Museum?
There will be.
No, there won't.
Clifty Martino will probably get on it.
Mm-hmm.
What's the noise?
There's a beast upstairs, apparently.
There's a beast?
Somebody said, what a beast.
I think that was Max that said that.
Was that Max?
I don't know.
Oh, that was Max.
Oh.
Yeah, I told you it was Max.
Oh, wow.
He's riding high from that T-bell.
What a beast.
So.
Oh, he's playing the Daily Dozen.
Is that what he's doing?
It was, yeah.
You can see on his phone.
Look, you can see it.
Almost went perfect.
That's what he's.
He got five out of nine right.
He's a beast.
That's what he was beasting about?
Wait, let's pull up the Daily Dozen.
Let's see how fucking easy this is
it's the easiest one I've seen in a while
wait really I got the first
seven without thinking
you got seven
I got the first seven without thinking
let's see here
AFC's team started
oh that's Steelers
they're remarkably easy
I love Duck Hodges.
Oh, an injury to Jacob Eason.
He took over a starting community.
Jake Fromm.
Yep.
Okay.
We're beasts.
Is that White Sox?
It is.
Okay.
This is the one I didn't get.
I go around the TVs and music first
I didn't know what this was
We're playing
Yeah I know you're calling yourself a beast
You got 7 out of 9
You got 5 out of 9
You had so much red on your phone
Y'all don't know this
I don't know do you
Margaret Thatcher
Susan B. Antle
Go to Celeb Mashup.
We'll go in order here.
That's Jason Bateman and Michael J. Fox.
Okay.
Well, that's what I was excited about.
That's what made you...
This one?
That's what made you call yourself a beast?
Never gotten a celebrity mashup.
You were a beast?
You called yourself a beast for that?
I've called myself a beast for much less.
Okay, snacks and candy.
You get this one, Max?
Once you pop, you can't stop.
Of course. They told me this one ahead of time, but yes candy. You get this one, Max? Once you pop, you can't stop. Of course.
They told me this one ahead of time, but yes, I did get this one.
Who's they?
Quigs and Jack.
We were doing it together.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine moved to this network where it ran from NBC, right?
Yep.
I got this one wrong.
Oh, my God.
You can't miss any of these.
Along with the roles of Midsommar, Oppenheimer, and Little Woman,
this actress is taking on the role of Black Widow's sister, Elena Belova.
That's Florence.
Florence Pugh?
Yeah.
Never mind.
Yeah.
Yeah, it is.
I got that one.
Okay.
Second single of the album, the same name.
Of course you got this one.
This is the easiest one ever.
Who's Florence Nightingale?
Was that the history one?
Yeah, try it.
Try it.
Did they double Florence?
Yeah.
What a beast!
Oh, we're beast mode.
Max, this was not beast mode.
Okay, I'm not good at trivia.
And we were doing a competition in the cave, and I won.
Oh.
You won by getting five?
Jack got two.
McCarthy?
Yes.
Is he dumb? He's a lot dumber than you think he is. I think five? Jack got two. McCarthy? Yes. Is he dumb?
He's a lot dumber than you think he is.
I think Quigg's got three.
Me and Malasek tied.
Are those guys all going to camp?
No.
No one's going to camp.
Why'd you get so angry?
That had some anger behind it.
Well, yeah.
I feel like this was supposed to be a whole thing.
Everyone was supposed to go to camp,
and I feel like so many people aren't going to camp.
Are you going?
I'm going to camp.
I'm excited for camp.
Max is competing in camp.
Yeah, I'm excited for camp.
I'm fired up right now.
I'm sorry.
Is there going to be a winner of camp or no?
Yes.
Is it structured?
It's you.
Malasek.
He's not going.
I know. Winner. Why is he notk. He's not going. I know.
Winner.
Why is he not going?
He's too busy.
Cut to him in that stage.
Yeah, he's too busy.
He's chilling.
Look at him.
So fucking busy.
So busy, man.
I have no social life in my mind.
We're like hanging out around the campfire.
We're goofing around.
It might be awesome.
I'm like, I'm excited.
I think it's going to be awesome.
It's also going to be a full moon tonight and tomorrow.
It's also like a full sleepaway camp that we have all, like, it's just us.
I almost bought a bugle this weekend.
Almost.
Oh, God, Kate.
I'm so thankful.
Yeah, I know.
You were going to wake us up with a bugle?
I thought it would be funny, and then I was like, people probably actually-
Did anybody bring a rooster?
No, she almost got a bugle.
Stop and get a rooster.
Get a rooster.
Yeah.
Get yourself a rooster. Like a crowoster. Yeah. Get yourself a rooster.
Like a crow at the...
Right.
I get nervous in the woods.
I get, like, creeped out.
Oh, no.
I don't think it's really, like, it's in the woods, but it's not in the woods at the same
time, right?
It's on a lake, right?
I don't know.
I'm expecting a twist.
Nobody knows anything.
Yeah, he's been expecting a twist all day.
You're expecting a twist?
He thinks we're getting led into something else.
There should be a murder.
There should be one murder.
I FaceTimed Rone to make sure he wasn't
we weren't walking the most dangerous.
Oh, that would have been awesome. If we hunt each other?
I feel like there's going to be a twist.
There's no twist. I haven't really
heard anything that we're specifically doing.
There's usually like itineraries.
I think they've sent that multiple times.
No. They haven't?
We just got the list of people going. I'm fine with a twist.
After the act, tomorrow and Wednesday and Thursday, we'll be live.
Actually, Thursday we'll be taped.
We're driving back right after Yak, yeah.
And we're doing Yak early.
The relay race.
Yeah, we're doing the Yak an hour early.
No twist.
Live event.
Lisa tweeted a photo from the beds.
I would love a twist.
Show the beds.
But that's what made me nervous.
Why?
Look at what she said with the picture she tweeted.
Was she just goofing?
She might have been goofing.
I don't think she goofed.
She L-E-L goofs like that?
Yeah, she could do a goof.
L-O-L Lisa.
That's what they call her.
Yeah.
It's happening.
That's a small bit.
May the odds ever be in your... Okay, that is...
I should have maybe brought a blanket.
May the odds...
What did she say?
May the odds be in your...
Oh, it's a twist.
That's what they say in the Hunger Games.
That does feel like a reference to...
What is it?
That feels like a twist.
Oh, look at that.
What's that?
That's cool.
Those are...
What?
What is that? Water bottles you think it was i thought it was like
tiny tinctures or something i thought they were miniatures or something yeah they do look small
i was like are those vap i don't know like i hope
like me and the girls i'm really i hope they're on game like i want to be up pranking late at
night like if you prank me i'll fucking don't prank i want to prank people who can't take my
job away at night. Brandon.
Fuck.
So you're staying four seasons. Yeah, aka mook.
Yes.
Ruin your life.
So you'll just have to taxi in in the morning?
We're doing a helicopter in.
Okay.
Yeah.
For the two hours.
Are you bringing shrooms?
I wasn't until you said it.
I would do a-
Great idea.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
If that's something you'd be interested in.
Yes. It is now. Uh'd be interested in. Yes.
It is now.
It is now.
You ask that like such a career.
And we can do like a back-to-back playlist, like your music.
Whoa.
My music.
I like that.
I like that.
Yeah, it'd be a campfire.
It's also going to get chilly at night.
I brought a hoodie.
Yeah, I'm so excited.
I'm going to have a hoodie on in forever.
What do you sleep in?
Naked. I go t-shirt and and nothing else am i gonna see co-worker dick the showers are a problem what's the shower situation one shower it's a community shower for for every cabin right oh
fuck it's a community shower yeah that doesn't mean you all have to shower at the same time no
but i'm gonna want to to. What? Wait.
How many shower heads?
Like you mean one shower head?
I think it's just a shower room. Like a big open room, like a locker room.
They said bring shower shoes because you're going to be in a bag.
Oh, I didn't bring shower shoes.
I didn't either.
I'm going in fully clothed now.
Shoot.
I remember my younger counselor caught me doing that.
Yeah, that was –
I went to a camp where the counselors were younger than me. I a rest i went to the team jordan wrestling camp okay the counselors were
like a year younger than me and one of them caught me showering with my um bathing suit on
and made fun of me
this was 06 so how old were you i was only i was uh i was 14 okay so a 13 year old yeah yeah
that's so funny that you had and did they like tell you what to do it was more like they were
more in charge of wrestling but yeah it was kind of that's weird i think i signed up for the wrong
camp i was meant to be in the elite camp i was in the junior camp camp counselors are
interesting yeah they're full of confidence i mean you basically just spend a whole summer where
you're the boss at like a it's 16 it always just changes their entire life yeah personality yeah
the people who are like camp lifers who go to a camp, counselor at the camp.
That's interesting.
Well, all these kids think you're like God.
Like these kids think you're the fucking coolest even if you're not.
Yeah.
Were you a counselor, Kate?
No, but I should have been.
I think it would have done great things for me.
I think it would have been very cool.
They should have had some campers there this week.
That would have been nice.
That makes it up.
Just we get to boss around some people.
That would be cool.
Have you seen adult summer camp? Those are weird. Those are just you trying to hook up. We get to boss around some people. That would be cool. Have you seen Adult Summer Camp?
Those are weird.
Those are just you trying to hook up.
Those are sex.
Gotta be sexual.
Have you seen the New York City Run Club that's just all sex?
Yeah.
That's what it's turned into.
It's a singles running club.
It's a singles running club, and then now it's like they meet up and they run three miles
or they walk one and a
half miles and they all go to a bar in a bit okay that's not a go to the bar yeah you get to run on
your own right or shower and then go to the bar but yeah i think that's all they they do they just
have sex after running i joined a running club after my divorce, and I was definitely looking to hook up. Really?
No.
Yes.
We did go to a bar after every.
But then don't you have to, then you have to keep running.
Yeah, does like running make you horny or something?
Well, not only that, but like if you meet someone at a runner's club, and like you start dating them, do you then have to be like, hey, just so you know, that wasn't me.
Yeah.
I'm not actually.
I don't run. I actually hate. The turnover rate has to be like, hey, just so you know, that wasn't me. I'm not actually. I don't run.
I actually hate.
The turnover rate has to be high.
Yeah.
You're just trapping yourself into a relationship based on running?
The guy that got into a relationship and then joined the runner's club back because he's
like, I need to fuck someone else.
Yeah, that's crazy to me.
Yeah, that would suck to fall in love with someone who's running and you're not a runner.
Right.
And they're going to judge you and be like, well babe let's go run yeah you're like or at some
point i either have to come clean or i guess yeah we run together that's what we do yeah yeah
we need a club where it's like watch netflix and look at your phone yeah that's the basis
of a relationship oh yeah That's the good stuff
I was trying to do that yesterday
My fucking wife would not
Oh my god
The old ball and chain
Nag, nag, nag
Me, me, me
You can't be like my fucking fiance
Yeah, it's like dude, you can get out of that
You can say my fucking wife
Still got an option
But god damn it, I love her We need a guy who just hates his fiance Yeah, it's like, dude, you can get out of that. You can say my name. Still got an option. But God damn it, I love her.
We need a guy who just hates his fiance.
Yeah.
His whole personality.
Yeah, because there's guys that hate their girlfriends.
And there's guys that hate their wives.
Yeah, but there's no one who hates their fiance.
We are excited about the wedding, but my fucking fiance.
Fiance.
You know how fiances are.
Fiances are annoying.
I wish I could get out of this.
Have you guys ever been, have we talked about this?
Have you ever been to a wedding?
I've been to a wedding where they canceled it like right before.
No.
And they still like had the venue and just went and drank.
Still did the party? Yeah. Oh, fuck yeah they called it off they still chill they were like
we paid all this money that's no were they still there yeah but it was like very weird and it was
like it was basically just like a social hour did they end up getting married event like no they
broke up they broke up there no they broke up before oh
okay they'd already paid all the money how long before it was like a week or two it was like
everyone had already like you eat that you eat that cost yeah but like yeah my boy did it like
a month out and they just canceled everything yeah but they ate so much like you gotta yeah
you gotta eat all the costs did all the guests know that they had broken up yeah they sent an email oh fuck do you got and you went and partied i went for like an hour i was
like this is weird did you dance no it was like basically like a happy hour okay i fantasized
about going to a wedding with the one runaway bride i would love to like oh yeah he left at
the altar is so uh i feel like it'll happen to me yeah yeah or speak now
forever hold your peace now one of those yeah i want to go to one so bad such a trope in media
but like nobody's ever actually seen one of those have you ever been to one where like everybody is
like this ain't gonna work out statistically problem yeah your first wedding my first well
yeah big wait was there any red
flags at the ceremony for sure for sure yeah open up i was the one in vegas at a wedding in vegas
and like we all knew that like hey this had a few months but like we all had we all rolled with it
we're like great but like the general consensus among like even the family members was like the same that's a great vibe yeah i would love no god they were divorced within like three
months yeah quick called your shot yeah military yeah oh yeah it was the little chapel was right
across the doorways from thunder from down under oh nice where yeah i went to one where the maid
of honor talked about uh when they used to go clubbing together
and pick up guys and take them home.
That didn't work out.
Oh.
They ended up getting divorced.
That's a weird speech.
That was the speech.
It was like, we've come so far from when we used to-
Suck cock.
Suck cock.
Grab right there.
We were a couple cock-
We used to just fuck anything.
Wasn't that right?
Now you're only going to suck one cock.
Yeah, that was...
A bad wedding speech is my favorite.
Oh, I love it so much.
That's why we did the hat thing.
Yeah, there's just the awkward tension is just the best.
That's so good.
You just know they're bombing.
They oftentimes don't, though.
No, they don't.
But I'll tell them i was so long
you just can't go long that's like the one rule yeah that's really it you can almost say anything
and as long as it's a bad short less than two minutes yeah it's where the people don't talk
about like the bride and groom where it's like the person goes up and just does like inside jokes from when they were five. Yeah, yeah.
It's like, okay.
Yeah.
What's going on here?
TJ, do you have Family Feud?
We do the DraftKings ad read.
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Why'd you do that?
Positive reinforcement.
You're doing a good job.
Thank you very much.
I appreciate that.
I'm trying to be better about that.
Have you been chewing your sheet?
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
I'm hungry.
I didn't eat any lunch.
Big Cat, did Francis tell you about the Blackjack ordeal yes in cleveland yes francis is a monster he told a guy a bachelor party guy
yeah we were we were at a blackjack table and he was a big like we're playing as a team guy
which i like i enjoy that but the last guy at the table was just fucking everyone. He would like stay where he shouldn't have,
hit where he shouldn't have.
I'm afraid to do it.
Yeah, same.
And Francis was being very vocal about it.
Eventually Francis asked the guy
if he could switch seats with him.
I think that's fair.
Which is fair.
But then like the guy knew why it was happening
and then Francis threw in a jab.
He was like, I just really want to sit next to my friend.
And the guy was like
nah I know that's not the reason why and he got up and
like left pissed off
and then Francis started talking shit
on that guy to the rest of the table
for like five minutes and then I
like go over to the guys to my right I'm like did you know that guy
that just left and they were like yeah it's his bachelor party
tonight oh jeez
it was unreal
um yeah he asked me what I would do in that situation i usually
if someone's fucking up that bad on blackjack i'll just stand up and leave yeah i'll find another
table we probably should on purpose or he like just didn't know how to play the game there's
people who do that where they just like i'm going off vibes which people should be able to gamble
however they want but blackjack is the one game where if you are
going on vibes you can fuck everyone else over okay yeah we probably lost four to five hands
because of this one guy yeah as a table just going off vibes yeah his buddies didn't reel him in no
come on they were like yeah they were like yeah he can be an asshole sometimes and francis was like
yeah he can like it was it was very contentious. I know that Cleveland Casino, too.
Oh, it's a sight.
Cleveland got really bad.
What do you mean?
Did it?
It's like sketchy.
I thought it was on the come up.
Yeah, it's a reverse.
No.
Downtown Cleveland.
Oh, just no.
Downtown anywhere.
Downtown Cleveland is, we almost got robbed a couple times.
Yeah, downtowns are just pretty bad in general.
Well, Francis also looks pretty robbable.
Like that guy has experience.
Mook, you kind of do too.
Yeah, but what would you rob Mook of?
Where's his dignity?
I can't find it.
Yeah, two gingers and sass, just a big bullseye
Looks like a bullseye
Yeah, we can take these guys
Sass is walking in the middle
There's the bullseye
I was getting chirped by high schoolers, they were calling me shaggy
Why were they calling you shaggy?
From like Scooby Doo
Isn't he cool?
He's
He's so cool
Is he?
Were you wearing a green shirt and brown pants?
No
Were you with a great Dane?
Were you in a van?
I don't get why
The other one, they were calling me trans Ed Sheeran
Yeah, sure
That makes sense
That doesn't make any sense
There's gotta be something else
That's gotta be code for something else.
You have short hair, too. They were calling me something else that I can't say.
But, yeah.
Were they calling... Did you mishear them
and thought they were saying shaggy?
Hey, shaggy!
Looking pretty shaggy.
Yeah, probably.
Giving off real shaggy.
All right, TJ, you got it?
You got Family Feud?
So wait, how are we playing?
X, you're on the wheel.
So starting with you, we go around?
Yeah.
Is that how we're doing it?
Yeah.
Is it just everybody at once? chime in i think you ever hmm figure it out nick figure it out nick figure it out nick x x
you're on the wheel for the clamor tattoo okay i know but i think you can chime in whenever you
want oh hmm or you think it's okay all right i'll just shut up No Don't shut up
No no you can't
You can't chime in
Whenever you want
You're going first
Yeah
Okay
I feel like that's
A huge advantage
Yeah
You think
Let's reverse it
So what you have to get next
That would be too easy
I think
Dwef Ilomov
Oh yeah
Let's play Dwef Ilomov
Let's play Dwef Ilomov It's a twist on family
You gotta say the answer backwards
You just gotta try to figure it out
Dwef Ilomov
This is a really good idea
Everybody turn your jeans around
Dwef Ilomov
If you're watching along, flip those jeans.
All right, press play.
Yeah, I want 100 people.
I'm going to retweet everybody that sends me a picture of them in their jeans backwards.
Who am I playing?
Yaritza.
Yaritza.
All right, Nick.
Pressure's on.
I have to say it backwards?
Yeah.
Okay.
Dogs understand about ten words.
Name one of those specific words.
Tiss.
Nice.
Yeah.
Go, Brandon.
Capes.
What is that?
Capes.
Capes.
Oh, that's too real.
Speak, someone.
Claw.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Yats.
I was going to do yats.
Oh, shit.
Oh, reverse MVP.
Rock.
Tirt.
That's good. Nice. Tirt. Nice.
Nwad.
Fuck.
Shit.
Nwad.
It's Nwad.
Show me Nwad.
TJ type Nwad.
Nwad, come on.
Oh, no, he doesn't have it.
Nwad, TJ. This is the risk. What is Nwad. Nwad, come on. Oh, no, he doesn't have it. Nwad TJ.
This is the risk.
This is the risk.
I don't know.
What is it?
Down.
Down.
Oh, you got six.
None of the three of us knew what.
All right, let's just play if you get an X, you're out.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Oh, speak not there.
That is crazy.
All right, Titus, you're up.
Speak.
Okay.
Yeah, I've never said speak.
When did you say that to a dog?
You never say speak?
Speak.
Name something everyone gets bitten by sooner or later
oh no
what
oh no
is this a riddle
who's going
Titus
oh god
this is tough
sooner or later
sooner or later
that makes it seem
yeah
it's a threat
yeah
a fucking
a spider I guess
no
no
ow
I don't know what that word is.
We're not doing it backwards.
Yeah, we are doing it backwards.
What?
God.
I thought you said we weren't.
Yeah, I thought you said we weren't.
You said we weren't.
You literally said we weren't.
That's before we started.
What did you say?
It's all good.
You said we weren't doing it backwards.
But you said.
Did I answer someone?
No, you said.
No, I said when you get an X, you're out. Otis, come on. I said when you get an X, you're out.
Otis, come on.
I said when you get an X, you're out.
Oh, that's what we were.
It worked. Go ahead. You're back in.
It worked. You're back in.
Oh, that was it. Go ahead. Go ahead, Titus.
You're back in. I said spider.
No, but we're going backwards. Okay.
Red
piss.
Red piss? When did I say we're going backwards. Okay. Red piss. Red piss?
When did I say we're going backwards?
You said it right before we started.
I didn't say it, though.
I might have said yes to something.
Who posed the question?
We're getting smoked.
Who knows?
All right, Teddy.
We're winning.
All right.
Oh, yeah, we are winning.
Backwards still?
No, it's backwards.
Big Cat's right because it's backwards family feud.
You want the lowest score. Yeah, backwards. We're getting smoked. Okay. All it's backwards. Big Cat's right because it's backwards family feud. You want the lowest score.
Yeah, backwards.
We're getting smoked.
Okay.
All right, backwards.
Triple points.
Tooth.
Oh.
E.
Oh.
Aka.
Nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Yeah.
E-mouse.
Oh. Emos. E-mouse. nice emos emos
emos
what?
I sound deaf
are you okay?
I was trying to say toothsome
toothsome?
who the fuck is toothsome?
toothsome?
what the fuck was that?
toothsome
toothsome
what? yeah erif oh good one yep yep out. Toothsome.
Yerif.
Oh, good one.
Did he do it already?
Eat.
Eat sap.
Eat sap.
Oh, good one.
Eat sap is good.
A-sherb. A-sherb. Yeah. Tooth. A-sherb. good one uh uh it's a good uh a sure sure sure yeah tooth uh sure
it looked like it had to be all one word what's toothsome yeah what is i've never heard that word in my life. It's in the dictionary. I swear to God.
Of what?
Toothsome?
If toothsome's not in the dictionary, I'll get a tattoo, like, tomorrow.
Okay.
Fine if it's in the dictionary.
We'll see it.
But why would...
It means, like, savory or something like that.
It's like a girl who gets blowjobs without poorly?
But that was the first...
Toothsome.
It was a tooth.
Temptingly tasty.
A toothsome morsel.
What?
Who's saying that? But that was your second guess. I know. Because I. What? Who's saying that? That was your second guess.
I know, because I thought the line was like
It had to be one word.
A toothsome.
The first picture is a woman dressed like it was
4,000 years ago. That's a steampunk
woman.
Toothsome. Old timey word.
Gonna have some toothsome treats at camp.
I don't think tooth, like if you're like
hey, you want a toothsome bite? That doesn't sound appealing. What percentage of have some toothsome treats at camp. That's a big. I don't think tooth. Like if you're like, hey, you want a toothsome bite?
That doesn't sound appealing.
What percentage of people know toothsome?
One out of ten.
No, I think that's very high.
It was like the first thing on my mind.
That's crazy.
Toothsome.
Don't you guys feel dumb?
Yeah.
Big losers.
All right, let's play regular and for real with the implications.
Of tattoo.
If you get an X, do you go on the wheel?
Or should we do everyone goes by themselves?
Everyone goes by themselves.
You have to make it to Fast Money.
Oh.
We won't even play Fast Money.
All right, so start again, TJ.
Yeah, we won't even play Fast Money. I like that. start again, TJ. Yeah, we won't even play Fast Money.
I like that.
Yeah.
You have to win your match.
You just have to win your match.
Okay, Nick, you're up.
Okay.
I'm nervous.
I love the feeling of shoots back.
You can really get fucked in this game.
Oh, God.
God, help me.
Name something people do with a deck of cards.
Shuffle.
Good answer.
Play a game.
Poker.
Yep.
Okay.
Magic.
Nice.
Good answer.
Yep.
Deal.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Go fish. Bad answer. War. good answer go fish
bad answer
war
bad answer
it's turned bad
is poker a gamble
I wouldn't say a specific gamble
it'll just go to gamble
see that's
confusing as fuck
a deck of cards
do I get penalties for missing I don't know I think after three That's confusing as fuck. A deck of cards.
Do I get penalties for missing?
I don't know.
Yeah, I think the third. I think after three, yeah.
Shuffle.
You're killing her.
You're fine.
You're good.
Deal.
You're good.
Sophia K got fucking.
Yeah, she's awful.
Yeah, she's on no shit.
Whomped in this.
Blackjack maybe?
Solitaire.
It's going to be Solitaire. Fuck. Solitaire. It's, she doesn't know shit. Whomped in this. Blackjack, maybe? Solitaire.
It's going to be Solitaire.
Fuck!
Solitaire.
It's crazy she didn't get that.
Yeah, old bitch.
You're cruising.
You're cruising.
This is double points.
Name something that drips.
Faucet.
Nice.
A nose.
I need two.
A wet towel.
Drip's.
That bitch don't know enough. Cloud.
Cloud's drip.
I guess they do.
Say cock. Cloud Strip. I guess they do. Seacock.
Chocolate.
No.
No.
What would it be?
Roof?
Coffee?
It's out of 100 people, and I'm at 96.
Coffee.
Candle.
Candle?
You're good, though. You're crushing Sophia Kay. Candle? You're good though.
You're crushing Sophia K.
She's a fucking...
I got lucky.
Dumbass.
I got lucky.
Triple points.
Name an activity you see people doing in their backyard.
Barbecue.
Nice.
Lawn games. I'm trying to be... Party. lawn games
party
yes
mowing
gardening
great answer
taking out a pet
great answer
bad answer
backyard swimming there good answer good answer nice good answer it's a wrap horseshoes
oh don't don't kill it with horseshoes.
I already guessed.
I did already guess horseshoes, yes.
You already guessed horseshoes.
Tanning.
Oh, I thought that was it.
All right, you're safe.
Yeah, I'm good.
Thanks, guys.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you.
Ricky Lee.
Good job.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, Brandon, you're up.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
It's good that we're doing this today because I don't think we'll have 642 tomorrow fucking good so we won't
get addicted we're getting out of our system yeah i'm hooked all right brandon here we go who you
up against i don't know oh is this pointless though because i ain't getting no motherfucking
oh no glory culturally very different yeah
four answers say the Say the thing.
Name a place you never want to hear someone say, brace yourself.
Oh, my God.
Oh, shit.
Here's where her backyard is. I love this.
This is easy.
This game is so stupid.
You get the weird questions.
A hospital?
Oh, she already got the first one.
62 points.
Oh, no.
Brace yourself at dentist.
An orthodontist.
Airplane?
There we go.
Good answer. You do it. Yes. There we go, Brandon. All right. at dentist. An orthodontist. Oh, good answer.
You do it.
Yes.
There we go, Brandon.
All right, you're up by a few.
I'm going to say train.
Oh, a little old fashioned.
I don't.
School?
You had it tough.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself. Brace yourself. Hey, brace yourself. Brace yourself. Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
Brace yourself.
Anybody got it?
No, we can't help.
I have a couple.
Don't help him.
Oh, he's not helping.
I got nothing.
Don't help him.
Where would you say brace yourself?
Roller coaster.
Before you get into water?
Bedroom. Elevator. Car. I don't know. Where would you say brace yourself? Roller coaster. Roller coaster. Before you get into water? Bedroom.
Elevator.
Car.
I said train instead of car.
A car.
TJ, did you say bedroom?
Oh, yeah.
Brace yourself, TJ.
What sort of roller coaster do you want people to say?
Name something that might go up, up, and away.
Oh.
A balloon.
Good answer, Brent.
Great answer, buddy. 90 points.
Holy shit.
Airplane.
Why would... Not away.
Superman.
That's a good answer.
Good answer, Brandon.
Clear the board.
A bird.
Oh, shit. board a bird oh shit hmm think um yeah
had no idea hopes and dreams no a rocket
a kite doesn't go away.
It's literally on a string.
This is actually tight.
It is close.
You got to nail this one.
Name something of yours you'd say you're in love with.
My wife.
Nice.
Car.
She hasn't gotten one.
Children.
Oh, it's a wrap.
What?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Dog.
She's got the number one.
Yes.
So do I.
Dawn, it's a wrap.
Come on, Gloria.
It's almost impossible to lose.
My house. No, you're not in almost impossible to lose. My house.
No, you're not in love with your house.
Job.
No, you're not in love with your job.
All right.
Oh, well.
Oh, dear.
Okay.
No.
If you.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Computer.
Oh, no.
I think you're good.
I think you're good.
Let's see the points.
Ask me about 30.
I got it.
I got it.
I got it.
Oh.
Oh.
Brandon. All right. All right. I won.
Okay. I'm up.
Let's see who I go up against.
I'm nervous.
Please don't be an old white dude.
Please don't be an old white dude.
Please don't be an old white dude.
That's six Amara. You you're fucked name something people need help moving into their new
home a couch wow yeah a tv shit this old bitch does what oh a bed okay
that's kind of it
dresser
okay
good answer thank you thank you
a table
fuck
what else do you need help
in your house
a refrigerator
a refrigerator
oh that was huge
wow
an oven
who moves ovens
I don't know the Refrigerator?
You don't move refrigerators.
Piano.
Piano.
It's crazy.
It's crazy talk.
Titus, you want to come over and help me move my piano this weekend?
All right.
Here we go.
This is important.
Name something that the sun does.
Ooh.
Well, stay true to yourself What?
That's the best advice you could give
When you're playing feud
Don't worry about what other people think
When you're playing family feud
Warms
I like
Okay
Pretty good
Good answer What the fuck else does the sun do? I like. Okay. Pretty good.
Good answer.
What the fuck else does the sun do?
I don't know if she's on your ass.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
She's on your ass.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
What does the sun do? Think about the two.
I have two that come to mind
Yeah
The things it does
I have at least one
Sets
Sets
Sets
Sets
Oh fuck
Rises
Yes
Oh no
Shit
Okay
Tighter
What the hell
What else does the sun do?
Burn
I thought rises and sets
Were the final two
Burns
Damn
Okay Wow I thought rises and sets were the final two. Burns. Damn.
Okay.
Wow, this is tight.
This is fucking tight.
This is nerve wracking. Pretty close.
Oh, boy.
This is triple points.
I don't know if you know.
Name something you shouldn't leave in your car on a hot day.
Kids.
Pets.
Kids is number two.
Yeah. Yeah.
Crazy.
What?
What?
What?
What's one?
Food.
Ah, got her ass. You got her.
You got her.
See you, bitch.
Yeah, how are kids number two?
Oh, she's coming.
Chocolate.
I don't know.
That's food. That's somebody's the groceries her old ass yeah i like that um your keys
um oh electronics
i'm not going to answer.
How did she get the same three you got?
I'm not going to answer anymore.
Ten point typing bonus.
Fair fastest.
Shut up.
All right.
I survived.
What's the last one?
You got it.
Self?
That's electronic.
Come on.
That's bullshit.
All right.
Good win. This is going to be embarrassing for whoever does it. Someone's bullshit. All right. Good win.
This is going to be embarrassing for whoever does it.
Someone's going to miss it.
Kate and Mook are ripe.
Somebody's shitting in that bathroom over there.
But they're only listening to the beginning of Thunderstruck.
They keep rewinding it.
And just listening to the beginning of Thunderstruck.
Wait, what?
We gotta figure out who it is. I could know by the
shoes because I took close note.
Alright, so
what were the shoes? They were Jordans.
Am I up? Yes, yes, yes.
Just the instrumental opening of
Thunder Sound. Something a person might have five of.
Kids.
Dollars.
Dollars?
Pets.
Oh, no.
Number one's still important.
Even Shay is kicking your ass.
TV's.
Shoes.
Five shoes
Nobody's ever gonna have five shoes
Who has five shoes
Is this obvious
Yes
I have five
Oh no Stephen Chay
Count them up
Friends
Yeah
Kyle Fingers count them up friends Kyle fingers
fingers
someone might
the pinky
might
Antonio
this is tough
okay Kyle come on
name something that gets
decorated tree Kyle, come on. All right. Name something that gets decorated.
Tree.
Nice.
Whoa.
Wall.
Show me wall.
Clothes.
Clothes.
Face.
What?
Ceiling.
Ceiling?
Decorates the ceiling.
I'm playing my game.
Okay, sorry.
Play your game.
Play your game.
You're right.
Is your ceiling decorated?
Decorated.
Do you live in the Sistine Chapel?
A decorated veteran.
A war hero.
Oh, we should decorate Kate one day.
Yeah.
Oh.
House.
Koi pond.
Not a cake.
Soldier!
Oh, no.
He's in striking distance, though.
Oh, this is good.
Oh, no.
All right.
Oh, no.
Where I thrive.
Play your game.
Play your game, Kyle.
Name something you'd expect to see inside a police car.
Something?
A criminal.
Okay.
A gun.
A radio.
A cop.
Oh, yeah.
This is a hand of cuffs.
Yes, Kyle. One more. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. I's go, Kyle. And cuffs. Yes, Kyle.
One more, Kyle.
Kyle.
One more to finish her.
Way to go, Kyle.
This is clutch.
Fill her up.
Air freshener.
Nice.
Yeah.
Clothes.
Food?
Donut.
Oh. Maybe like a canine. A dog. Yeah. Food? Donut Oh
Maybe like a canine
A dog
Yeah
Computer screen
Alright
Okay
Alright no pressure
So it's going to just be one person
That has to get the tats
Yeah
It's going to be Mook or Kate
I'm nervous
Titus could fall apart
Yeah
You never know
I'm nervous. Titus could fall apart. Yeah. You never know. I'm nervous.
Lola.
All right.
Sometimes you just want to scream, put down the phone.
Good answer.
Great answer.
You're safe.
Put down the food. food no put down the hammer
all the time put down the hammer don't do it dog sometimes you just want to scream
put down that dog
gun
toilet seat remote
you had hammer over gun
that was a tough one but Lola did well
that was single score that wasn't double
zero pressure come on mook
you got this mook zero pressure brother
occupation whose members should be very clean Zero pressure. Come on, Mook. You got this, Mook. Zero pressure, brother.
Occupation whose members should be very clean.
She got one.
They're members.
This is easy.
Yeah, think members.
Members?
No, don't.
Clean.
Occupation. Big occupation.
There you go.
Occupation is the word you want to use.
Waiter, waitress.
Nice, nice.
All right.
You're good.
You're good.
Like clean.
Groomer?
No, no.
Hairstylist?
Why do you have dog on the brain?
Oh, no.
She caught up whoa fuck fuck
um
oh she missed one
i want to clean
uh oh oh oh so uh nails uh nail salon uh
fuck god damn it i was gonna say pilot Oh, oh, oh. Nails. Nail salon. Fuck.
God damn it.
I was going to say pilot for some reason.
Police officer.
You got to have a clean cup.
I guess that makes sense.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Damn.
My literal.
Oh, you're right.
It all comes down by one.
Come on.
Come on.
Lock it.
Come on.
Snow.
Plow.
What?
Blower.
Blower.
Oh, no.
Let's let him chill.
Oh, God.
Let him cook.
Go.
He's on the right track.
Snow.
How is that not right?
There's such an easy one.
All right.
All right.
Let him cook.
She doesn't have any.
Five?
She doesn't have any.
You're so lucky.
Snow.
I keep thinking bunny or cone.
No, come on.
No, dude.
She got one.
She got one, but only three points.
Mook!
Oh, man, this is painful. Snow. No. Mook. Oh, man.
This is painful.
Snow.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Get one, bitch.
Get one.
Cone.
Cone.
Cone.
Oh, you're going to be done.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Get one, bitch.
No.
Don't.
How's.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
How do you not get day?
White. White. No not get day? White.
White.
No white.
Day?
No white.
No white.
Oh, I was wrong.
I guess I –
She got zero.
I would have –
Oh, my God.
You scored 293.
How is day not there?
Thank God.
That was lucky.
That was extreme.
I would have gotten snow white either, so I can't.
Yeah, Snow White.
That's my first thought.
You're thinking Snow Day?
Yeah, Snow Day.
I don't know.
Best thing in the world.
Okay, what did you say?
Snow-some?
Yeah, Snow-some.
Snow-some.
All right, Tyler.
All right.
Some toothsome snow.
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Pretty good.
Thank you.
Great job.
Really good.
Dude, you're on fire.
Thank you.
Well done, Nick.
Thank you, boys.
Sorry, I was gone.
Can I still do the Steven Singer ad?
No, I just did two flawless back-to-back ad reads.
Actually, clip that.
Are we going to start clipping the good ad reads? Come on. Nicky went back-to-back? back-to-back ad reads. Actually, clip that. We got to start clipping the good ad reads.
Come on.
Nicky went back-to-back?
Back-to-back.
Not a stutter?
People are sending you gene pics, I saw.
A couple of gene pics, yeah.
Love that.
All right.
Bring it on.
I'm fucked. Five. Five. I'm fucked five
five
I'm fucked
name something specific
that people grind
their teeth
nice
coffee
yeah
people grind grind Coffee. Yeah.
People grind.
Grind.
Their skateboard?
Yeah.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Too old of a crowd.
You grind.
Grind. Your job, I guess.
Are you grinding?
Is that?
That's not a good answer.
I thought that was a bad answer.
I don't know.
Teeth and coffee are it.
I'm going to have to pull one of your cards.
You're not allowed to do something anymore.
Grind on a fat ass nope
yeah
ASS
ASS
gears
cheese
pepper
green pepper
that's a good one Nick
I thought that was
I was gonna have to pull the ass
too fat
five royal
uh
blank mouth
they're right in there
smash mouth
rest in peace
oh no
uh
big mouth
there we go there we go uh big mouth blank mouth um oh brandon walker
loud mouth yeah what's loud how did that yeah uh brandon walker again Mouth, yeah. Brandon Walker again.
Fucking mouth.
Yeah.
How many six answers?
It's a lot of mouths.
I can't think of anything.
A lot of mouths to feed.
I just keep thinking of smash mouth.
Big mouth, loud mouth.
Tiny mouth.
Small mouth, small mouth. small mouth, small mouth bass.
You got a small mouth.
How did I already guess that?
Oh, no.
I don't like that round.
I don't like that round.
Blabber mouth.
Dry mouth.
Oh, potty mouth is a good one.
Potty mouth is a good one.
Okay.
I think this is.
Blabber mouth is loud mouth.
This is close.
Oh, boy.
Oh, shit.
Striking distance.
Here we go.
Name another word for tired.
Beat.
Oh, shit.
It is.
Oh, no.
Exhausted.
Here we go.
Gotta be.
Oh, she got the number one.
Yes. Yes. There we go. Gotta be. Oh, she got the number one. Yes. Yes.
I'm tired.
I'm wiped out.
That's not going to be.
This is fucking crazy.
Oh, no.
I think Brandon Walker.
What?
Oh, no.
This is intense.
Oh, she got one wrong.
Name another word for tired.
And beads not on there.
Pooped.
Oh, show us pooped.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh, no.
She got.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
This is triple points.
This is triple.
Oh, fuck.
I'm worn out. W is triple. Uh-oh. Oh, fuck. I'm tired.
I'm worn out.
Worn out.
Get it in.
Oh, no. Wait, what is the final score here?
Drowsy, fatigued.
Sleepy.
Sleepy, yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
A lot of changes in your life, bud.
You need Kate to lose, too.
Uh-oh.
A loser's bracket.
Yeah.
Well, Che has to play, right?
Yeah, Che has to play.
I got to run a two.
Shit.
Yeah, we got the whole company waiting on us.
We do, too.
Yeah, we all know.
We'll just leave Che as the
When we get back
Fuck me
Name a country that drinks a lot of wine
Italy
That's the number one answer Kate
Spain
United States
Germany
Kate
England Oh no Oh man that's three Germany Kate England
Oh no
Wait why are you guys saying Kate
Kate
Kate
I think island vibe
Kate
Don't think that
Kate
Look at me
Kate
Come on What the fuck't take that. Kate. Look at me. Kate. Come on.
What the fuck does that mean?
Kate.
Drinks a lot of wine?
Come on, Kate. Rome?
Kate.
Name one.
Name one. Rome.
France. France.
Jesus Christ.
That's champagne.
That's wine.
Kate. Rome wasn't up there? Jesus Christ. Oh, that's champagne. That's champagne. That's wine. Yeah, that is champagne.
Kate.
Okay, well.
Rome wasn't up there?
Italy and France are so different, and my brain went on and on. Maybe yelling Kate is help.
All right, here we go.
A couple points.
All we can say is Kate.
Name something associated with a witch.
Kate.
A broom.
Yeah, that should be the rule.
You can help, but you can only say the person's name.
Magic?
Yeah, magic. Kate the rule. You can help, but you can only say the person's name. Magic? Yeah, magic.
Kate?
Broom at Halloween.
Halloween.
Kate?
There we go.
Clear the board.
Cauldron?
Clear it.
She's going cauldron with a number three answer.
Oh.
I already guessed it.
Broom, sick, glowing, witch.
You might skunk that.
Oh, oh. Green?
Yummy green. That's tattoos.
Uh, um.
Evil?
Oh, fuck.
Uh, drowning?
Yep.
I know, that won't be it.
Like Salem? Yeah.
Is it like a wizard of Oz?
Oh, pointed hat, of course.
Yeah, I was thinking a clam member.
Okay.
Oh, I'm not concerned here.
You're fine. You're fine.
This is round three already, right? Yeah, you're fine.
So I'm good. Okay.
We asked a hundred men, name something you do
with meat before you put it on the grill.
Steven, this would have been your time to shine.
Um.
Based?
Before you put it on the grill?
Oh, dear.
What's involved when you put it in the bowl?
Oh, no.
Marinate.
Marinate.
There we go.
Season.
Yeah.
There we go.
I only have one X left right
Now you're cooking
You pound it
You pound that meat
Season it, marinate it
That's what you do with meat before you put it on the grill
You season it and you marinate it
Kate
Is she in trouble
She's in bad trouble
Shut up, no I'm not
You season it.
You marinate it.
Kate, it would be so fucking embarrassing if you lost this.
You fillet it.
Fillet?
You cut.
Kate.
Kate, come on.
Oh, no, Kate.
I didn't think fillet was bad.
I think you're okay.
I have no idea.
She's going to win easily.
Yeah.
Oh, cut, trim it.
Nobody does that.
You're going to win by like 70.
Oh.
Bangs.
Oh, Titus
Oh
Mark
I'll get it
I'll get it in Switzerland for sure
Get in Switzerland
I'll get my tattoo for sure
Alright Che go fast
Che speed it
Okay
Shit
Oh jeez Yeah Looks like he has it together he does
pyramids name something associated with ancient egypt pyramids um
oh jace is so dumb sphinx um mummies. Chase heard that.
Mummy.
Do mummies.
I like that they know that TJ's a bad speller.
Helps him out. They take care of him.
Yeah.
This is what we need on Sporkle.
It's Sphinx.
I don't know how to spell it.
We have enough time.
You can look it up.
Yeah.
Dang.
Wow.
Ooh, slavery?
Oh.
Show me slavery. Good answer. Yeah. Dang. Wow. Ooh, slavery? Ooh. Nice.
Show me slavery.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Good answer.
Show me slavery.
Shit.
Oh, no.
He's on your ass.
You got nothing.
Shit.
Tunnels?
Tunnels.
Yep.
Is it the Nile?
Or desert?
Pharaoh.
You're okay.
You're doing damn fine.
Yeah, good shape.
You're fine.
Jace has got nothing on you.
Wet would suck today.
Oh, yeah.
Name something people do to maintain their lawn.
Moe.
Water.
Oh, God.
That's a wrap.
Skunk them.
Get them.
Fertilize.
Clean sweep.
Bang.
Perfect round.
That's a wrap.
That's over.
It's just Titus.
Che, be cocky and sit out.
Oh, my God.
Be cocky and sit out.
Don't be sure.
I don't think you can lose.
Skip.
No, no.
That was insane.
Ice cream.
Che.
Name something you wish was fat free.
Chips.
Nice.
Che.
Fat free. Che. Che. Che.
Che.
Che.
Hinge.
Fat free.
Dessert.
My hinge has trans fats too Snacks
Shit Burgers burgers steak
okay
alright feel good
yeah you were beating by
300 points
dumbass Jace.
It was almost too easy.
It's like impossible to lose.
Yeah.
Stupid idea.
All right, spin the wheel, TJ.
So we're going to be at summer camp for the rest of the week.
Well, Friday we'll be back.
Yeah, we'll see you from summer camp.
Who knows what's going to happen.
And you exit regular time.
Yeah, except for Thursday.
Thursday we're going to go an hour early.
Just a reminder.
Hour early on Thursday.
And then the next three days, stay tuned in after because we're going to be doing,
I think tomorrow during the YAC, we're going to pick the teams.
Whoa.
Yeah.
And are we with two captains right now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Kate?
No.
I'm a ref.
Oh, I thought you were captain.
No, but I'm super excited.
I'm excited.
I want you to ref.
After the summer games thing, I want you to ref everything.
I think you should be a permanent ref.
I say nothing and I just feel bad.
It's so good.
Shy ref.
Totally a bae.
Has legs.
You literally said, I'm sorry before you made a call.
I'll never forget that.
I think our two refs are Kate and Rico.
So that will be a plus.
Oh, God.
That's perfect.
I know.
I wonder who will take charge in that crew. Yeah. I think a plus. Oh God. That's perfect. I know. I wonder who will take
charge in that crew.
Yeah.
I think Kate should.
Have to.
Yeah.
We'll see.
I'll make the final call.
I'm excited though.
You going to s'mores?
You guys going to s'more?
Yes.
All right.
I know you didn't have a weekend.
Hot dog over the fire?
We'll get you a weekend.
I want to burn stuff.
Spend it.
We're going to get you a weekend.
I want to whittle a stick.
Oh yeah.
You can whittle. You can burn. I'll give you $1,000 if you kill to get you a weekend. I want to whittle a stick. Oh yeah, you can whittle, you can burn.
I'll give you a thousand dollars
if you kill a squirrel with a spear.
Done. Oh God.
No. Keep going.
Keep going, keep going, keep going.
Ah!
Thank God.
Thank God.
Let's towel whip tomorrow.
Yeah, we'll get a stand-in towel whipper. Yeah, we'll get a stand-in towel whipper.
Yeah, we'll get a stand-in.
I mean, that's a perfect setting for towel whip.
Yeah, and let's get a bunch of people.
Yeah.
You guys should all practice.
Yeah, that's a good excuse.
Practice at camp.
All right, see you guys.
Yeah, have fucking fun, Titus. It's the act It's the act
It's your straws, yeah, style and tape
For a while, it's the act
It's the act
It's the act
Yeah, it's time to talk shop
We're doing Yankee Swap
It's the act
It's the act See you at camp.
Love you, bye.