The Yard - Ep. 79 - This is the worst gift you can get someone.
Episode Date: January 18, 2023This week, the boys give each other their late Christmas presents, talk about slime getting suspended from twitter, and how everyone is becoming slime-pilled....
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you got a gold chain now you're what are you italian what is this what's happening no dude i
this is stupid i had a video planned for you guys you know i used to do those videos where i was
like you guys tell the difference
between real and fake cheese?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had that with jewelry and I bought a bunch of, I was like, Yingo.
Can you get me in there?
Can you get real diamond, fake diamond, real gold, fake gold, real silver, fake silver,
real plat, fake plat, all that.
So he gets all these things.
They take a long time to come in.
Like thousands of dollars was blown on gets all these things they take a long time to come in like thousands of dollars
was blown on getting all these products and i was like i was like all right we're gonna have all of
them come in see which one's fake which see which one's real it took so long i forgot about the
video i just forgot about it and i was cleaning up my room the other day because i was looking
for pokemon cards and i just found this necklace and i just see the price tag. It's like a thousand eight hundred bucks.
And I'm like, what are you wearing on your neck?
Yeah.
So I just I just wore it.
And I was like, the real one.
Cause what's up?
Anyway, welcome back to the art episode.
Eighty five.
Everybody got a big one on our hands.
Did you guys?
Did you guys know?
I was going to go back one day when these are all on LimeWire and they're trying to download them and number them correctly
Happen to America that everyone's going back to LimeWire is a bigger problem for them
We have to we have to go back. It's when the EMP happens. Yeah, that's the bigger problem
Yeah, well, he happens in lot but LimeWire still yeah, well, I was like a roach
The EMP happens, but LimeWire's still up. Yeah, LimeWire's like a roach.
The CMP's inconvenient, but the out-of-order episodes are even more annoying.
LimeWire's being run from a TI-86 in a calculus room somewhere.
We got brown water and we got LimeWire.
And it's utopia, honestly.
It's just like 2003.
We have really low-quality Eminem tracks and cholera.
Yeah, and we were goddamn happy about it.
Dude, did you guys know I'm fucking
permanently banned off Twitter?
I knew as of five minutes ago.
As of like an hour ago.
I'm looking it up right now. I don't buy this.
You're perma-banned? What did you do?
Dude, it's so funny.
You can't say anything anymore, huh?
Bro. I know.
You must have done something super innocuous that they banned you for.
Yeah, because I've been good, right?
Yeah, you've been so good that you're in your user's
solution to be good. I've turned over a new leaf, I've been not
hating as much, and
so I looked it up,
and they sent me an email,
and the tweet that got me fucking
permanently banned is
I am going to be head Point Crow live on broadcast.
I thought Elon wanted free speech.
I don't know.
Damn, bro.
Well, talking about-
Why can't you behead your fucking friends?
... Keanu's baking event that I literally, that I was like hugging Eric at.
It looks like comedy's dead.
Yeah, thanks for saying that.
No, fellas.
Elon.
Oh, man.
Elon Musk.
Hey, if the Omni-Liberal can get back online, we can get you back i know right you gotta stay low-key
for a while so i'll have to end up making an alt later on but then for now there's fan accounts
so you can appeal i appealed okay and i was like for the first one i was i just appeal because i
you load up twitter and it says you're fucking banned idiot and i'm like and it doesn't tell
you why and uh you can just hit appeal and i'm like and it doesn't tell you why and uh you can
just hit appeal and i'm like i don't know what i did wrong i've been good i promise yeah and you
send the appeal and then i check my email and then it shows you just the employee at twitter
is like okay i did nothing wrong i'm going to behead point crow i tweeted like a week ago
what because the the uh cuties baking event got announced, which Eric is in.
And that was a joke.
Obviously, I didn't behead Eric and I like him.
But I get it.
I haven't seen him in a while.
I get why they have to do that.
I'm not saying I'm a good boy.
You said it was always that size?
But so I checked the email and it says that's why.
And then I'm like, oh, fuck.
So you can appeal again and it just adds to your case file.
Can you send a video?
No, it's just a text box. If you could, you send a video of Eric and it's like he's talking at gunpoint
He's sweating. You know what's fucking
You know what's fucking on Mammy. On Mammy or he will get it.
It's cause yesterday I uploaded a video of me throwing a lime at his chest and he's okay
So it's like. Do you think they know who point crow is though? No I get it like there's no
There's no mystery of why it's happened and stuff
But it's just funny that it was not something that perhaps i should have been banned for uh
it's good to know the beheading band bot is still working there's just some fucking there's it's the
one guy left on that understaffed moderation team who's digging through files of like hate crimes
and shit and he's like yeah this this seems pretty clear-cut
he threatened to behead someone live on broadcast it's also it is clear-cut as a former content
moderator you spend five seconds glazing over i understand i'm not complaining i just don't speak
for us content moderators bulgers i am a decorated moderator of chats. What? It doesn't count. Discord? No.
Mostly yours.
Yeah, but that's actually Warzone, so.
Yeah.
Good job.
I was talking about
beheadings.
Semper Fi, yeah.
I was putting a lot of heads
into the basket.
Dude.
You know what I'm saying?
Someone in Taric's chat,
because Taric modded me
right before we ran
the Valorant tournament
so I could change some settings
and stuff like that.
And I got a whisper
from somebody who got banned in Tarek's chat.
And he sends me the most incoherent message about why he got banned and then says it is
the end of the message.
And I just said, I don't know what you're saying, but if you're using this language
to describe it, you probably deserve to be banned.
Like I just sent that back to him.
And then he gets into an argument with me that I'm participating in.
That's crazy.
I like how you phrase it.
You are a psychopath.
No, no, he's not.
We're the same.
You phrase it, he gets in an argument.
Like, he's not in the argument.
I started thinking about it in the last week.
And every time I have a week where I backslide and i get into it with people in the
fucking comments like about nintendo and shit i'm like i'm just i'm just like him i'm just like him
i'm gonna lose all my hair and i'm gonna transform into him i thought of a new business idea it's
like a building you know how if someone's in jail they have those phones they can talk to a loved
one it's people who have beef online and they go to this building and one person's on one side of
the glass and one person's on the other and they hash it out with words in real life while not
having the danger of physicality because there's the glass bro they invented skype so long ago no
no it's got to be in person you got to see him face to face but you can't interact physically
the glass changes it because it still protects you so you feel if you're a piece of shit you
can still say what you want and be okay
and it totally removes the aspect
of being impersonal. You're behind glass
for 10 minutes and then the glass lowers.
You have 10 minutes of reason.
It lowers at a random minute
between 1 and 10.
A random time. So it's like
you're talking shit and it could go the
whole 10 or it could be like 5
seconds. Isn't
this idea though is like the raising of the glass is just almost encouraging of
physical consequence, right?
Okay.
It's like a signal.
I've changed it.
We are going to have the glass stay there.
It doesn't remove or change, but we have Northern Lion and he's the, am I the asshole detector?
And then he listens to both arguments and then he
will fight the one who's wrong so you've just invented government that is pretty much he does
it again so does it again what you want is a supreme court with nine northern lions deciding
whether or not whether or not roe v wade should be overturned actually Actually, yeah. I think I would prefer nine Northern Lions.
I thought about it for a second.
I think a lot of people are okay.
And one Jerma.
Eight Northern Lions and one Jerma for the wild card.
Yeah.
For the split vote.
So it's a prison, and it's with you and your hater on line,
and it's a glory hole.
So you both put your penises through a glory hole on each side,
and there's a blade slowly coming down.
And the last one to pull out wins the prize.
Okay.
What's the prize?
I'll give you five seconds to think of it.
Four, three, two, one.
Okay, I like that.
No, I don't.
Why?
Because you can't even offer that anymore.
Wait, what are you talking about?
You can't offer that because you're banned
that's why i don't like it sure also it doesn't make sense if like the a bigger account tweets
out from a hater's account that's like four followers like who cares dude i did that to
derek during the uh during the invitational we we did the the show match which was like
mogul moves versus otv which we ended up losing spoilers sad very sad day amen
didn't have the greatest series did you shit did you shit all over your pants with your hands
and then everyone else just took a turn just going to aid and just taking a big old dumper
you ever have those moments in life where like you kind of get a little dizzy because you're
like wait am i dreaming is this real like there's like a real moment i'm in and there was a moment
where uh i had like a pretty good like 1v3 on site and we ended up winning the round and i
went over and i fist bumped shroud and i went back and i like was like whoa what what's happening am
i am i in real life right now a 3k to fist bumping god's gift to fps that's so funny anyway funny
moments were had but we lost and the bet was loser got to tweet on the winner's account.
And Tarek was like, oh, I'm going to wait.
Like, I'm going to think of something great.
And then during the break, I tweeted on my own account, Tarek is the best XD.
That was you?
You fooled me.
You fooled me.
Dude, you got me.
You got me.
What?
Because I was like, damn, Tarek has the worst tweets of all.
I was like, wasted, wasted. You has the worst. That's also true. I was like, wasted, wasted.
You're so evil.
That is so good.
You're so evil.
Yeah.
Well done.
I was giggling so hard.
And then we go live and Tarek's like, what?
Yeah.
Tarek is the best.
So he still has one.
Yeah, technically he has one.
And no one will know when it'll strike.
I assume because Tarek is.
You start being really whack to cover your trip it just I'll always be
whack this gotta be this gotta be terryk for reals to whack yeah you will never
know he'll probably never cash in though that's the issue with Terry good good
remind him to you but I won't have anything good for me no but they'll just
remind him this is like like it's like asking your trivia question you don't know the answer you're stalling for more No but they'll just remind him This is like It's like asking a trivia question
You don't know the answer
And you're stalling for more time
But you'll never come to it
He's like waiting for a tweet to come to him
And I think it'll never come
Why do you
No you have any faith in him
Cause I beat him in a bet once
And he had to use a mouse pad
And he's never done it
Oh yeah
And you
Life just takes over
Like he has it
He has it
Yeah
Anyway
By the way guys
If you see in camera shots That my thighs are bruised and battered, it's
not.
It's because he fell.
It's because he fell.
It's a fall.
I'm going to cancel it right now.
It's actually paintball shots.
Paintball gun.
Ouchie.
I got shot with a paintball gun several times in a video.
Accidents happen all the time in our house.
I went to the ouchie store.
We don't live to.
Bought a few things.
Anyway, it's just a bunch of paintball shots.
It just fell.
That littered my legs
That looked brutal
You fell right?
I talked about your
I've already said what it was
You're always
Talking back
Yeah falling
Yeah okay right
Got it
Copy
You always got so much attitude
I know
That's why you end up
Falling so much
Yeah cause I'm falling
And it's not
Stop falling
You're jumping in?
That's your addition?
You gotta stop falling
Yeah
You just keep losing Your balance all the time Because you're so Because you're so chatty It's not. You gotta stop falling. You're jumping in? That's your addition? You gotta stop falling. Yeah.
I think you just keep losing your balance all the time because you're so chatty.
Shame!
Shame.
Shame!
Shame!
Shame! Shame!
Shame you!
Pointing at Aiden and saying shame.
Why?
Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame.
I don't know why yet.
Because?
I don't know why.
Because?
You have to think of a reason right now.
You're making one up right now.
Oh, he's about to agree.
That's insane.
In full spirit with what I'm going to say, because yesterday we were supposed to record
the podcast.
We ended up forgetting the cameras.
Oopsie whoopsie.
We're back today.
And, uh, and yesterday we also said we would all bring gifts for each other.
Gifts aplenty.
Don't make that face.
You piece of shit.
Don't look like Ask Jeeves.
Which everybody had two weeks to do.
And Aiden shows up, he goes,
Oh my god, I completely forgot.
Dude, I didn't even remember.
Yo, I thought you said play 40 games of Melee Ranked. I thought you said Grits.
I brought Flute.
And then he almost, and I was proud of him
because he almost stopped and started to
defend himself, but then he didn't.
I thought you said Bob Fraggin games.
And then he just took it.
He just held the L. I thought you said Bob Fraggin' and then he just took it. He just held the L.
I thought you said slightly miss the smoke in heaven.
That's what I was doing instead.
I thought you said literally get out
Frag by Yvonne.
Is that what you thought he said?
Because that would make sense.
That would make sense because you were doing that.
I forgive him.
If you thought that then you did that well actually because that makes sense you showed up
i'm keeping all your gifts anyway we have a bunch of goodies for each other it's a little late for
christmas it's christmas time it is christmas time by the way the comments are ruthless or
not ruthless but they didn't like the the bracelet. That Aiden didn't get one, that really rattled.
No, they loved it.
That rattled some people in the core.
But also some people got a bit rattled, yeah.
And it's like, it's okay, guys.
He's all right.
This is not impulsive.
No, it's not.
Aiden came to me crying once about it.
No, no, no.
This is not impulsive.
Aiden is not George.
We're all fine here.
You don't get the reference,
and that's okay.
You're old.
You're acting like you watched that
before he scammed people with animals.
Yeah.
I'm thinking you're cringe.
I'm thinking it's the greatest podcast of all time.
Are we doing this now? This tone?
Literally, you are so cringe.
Yeah, it is the greatest podcast of all time.
Shouts out to the energy drink they have.
We got gifts. How do we want to do this?
How do you want to swap spit?
You want to just do one person at a time and shower them?
How about we kiss to make it better first?
Stop being creepy today.
What are you talking about today?
Why are you so fucking horny?
What are you talking about?
You randomly get horny on a timer.
And today you're horny.
This was you earlier.
Kiss to make the shot better.
I thought that was funny and Aiden was doing a really funny face
so I kept it going.
That's just his loving kissy face. You guys want to
Do gifts let's do gifts first I will I will start with I got for
Nick I don't want it
Gotta get for zipper
I'll kick it off.
Zipper.
I'll give it to Batman.
Yo.
I'm going to leak this.
Is that okay, Zipper?
It is.
Drum roll.
A $50 gift card to Olive Garden.
Where did you find that?
In your house.
Yes.
Zipper doesn't eat, but he likes the Italian ambiance.
Yeah.
He just likes to go there and hang out at the bar.
He likes to unwind there. Zipper just keeps asking for more baskets of breadsticks that do not get consumed.
He puts them in his bag and then he just keeps saying, can I get some more breadsticks?
Yeah.
His zipper clothes are so greased up of breadstick grease.
And then Nick, Nick, I got you. So I got
you a much cooler gift. I think I should
leak it. I also got you a cooler
gift and it didn't. Are you going to leak
the cooler gift here? If you leak yours, I'll leak mine.
Alright, I will leak it.
Zipper, can you pull up
this on Google
Images? So this was your
actual gift that will come
probably like in a week it just took a while
to ship but but i know you like in and out burger oh this gift is crazy and it's the fourth one
there that in and out burger mug was the holiday gift for in and out employees yeah one comes off
yeah and it's a mug damn it's a rare, it's a rare cop. But also a burger.
It's a rare cop.
Yo, I will use that every fucking day.
And the backup floppy gift is Bo Burnham.
Yo.
Inside on vinyl.
Look, Ludwig, great gifts.
Thank you.
Why are you cringing at that?
I think it's great.
He hates it.
He does hate it.
It's not my gift.
I shouldn't say shit
You actually shouldn't
I'm not
I'm not saying anything
Oh my god
He's dude
He's fucking spinning
It's me
Alright one out of the way
Let's keep rolling here baby
I'll do the rest
I'll go through all
Okay you go first
Yeah everyone
Do them all
Alright
What are you sad about?
What happened?
Slime
We have a tournament coming up
And I thought
You are in need
I'm sorry
What is happening? Why are you being are in need. I'm sorry.
What is happening? Why are you being pouty?
I'm pouting.
Why?
Because I don't want to give you a gift, man.
You don't want to give me a gift?
Why?
Tell me about his gift.
I'll give you your gift then first.
Tell me about his gift.
What happened?
For you, I got a matching fanny pack.
It's a matching Italian fanny pack.
And it hood comes off
You can put all your little
Gizmos and gadgets
Inside this fanny pack
And now we'll both have fanny packs
Yours is a little darker
Wow
Yeah that's how you put it on
Yeah like that no you did it for sure
Is it a fanny pack or is it a crossbody?
It's a fanny pack for sure
Ludwig's wearing it right now
Well I guess it looks normal that way Does it? No, you did it for sure. Is it a fanny pack or is it a crossbody? It's a fanny pack. For sure. Ludwig's wearing it right now. It's on my body.
Well, I guess it looks normal that way.
Does it?
So I'm like.
Does it?
You can probably, if you loosen the strap, you can wear it either way.
You can probably.
Like that makes sense to me.
And then the final gift I got slime was for you.
What'd you get me Ludwig?
Well, we have a smash tournament coming up and I got you your very own fob.
Wow.
You have a fob?
You should say it the other way.
What?
Like fob. Wait, what do you mean FOB? You should say it the other way. What? Like FOB.
Wait, what do you mean?
Because FOB means fresh off the boat.
Which can be considered a pejorative term. Towards Italians.
Oh, no. Yeah.
Come on up. Oh, no, that's the other one.
No, that's towards Italians.
Blurt us out.
Is this a FOB?
It's a GameCube controller for the audio listeners
that's fancy
that's apparently pronounced
phobe not fob
did you really get this
is this for
like
did you just get me a JP White
and I won't be able to tell
no
it's
I would be really funny
it's a phobe
and you'll be able to tell
because I think you can
change it and shit
that's so nice
I actually was like
damn my controllers
kind of suck right now
you should talk to
Yingo about it
you should talk to Yingo about it. You play it right. You should talk to Yingo about it to like, shit.
Nick says it's shit.
Ned said that to me once.
Dad says it's shit.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's a classic controller person move.
He wiggled my stick and said, aw shit.
Yeah, oh bro, dude, no, this is really bad.
This is really bad.
That's kinda hype though.
I was like, no fucking way, bro.
Dude, the controller people will get you like Just put this one in your hands
Just put it in your hands
Just play I'm selling just try to ledge dash
You're like well I guess it is pretty good
Like that one $600
And that's like a good price
Anyway there's your phobe
Asking how to make it work
And there's your gifts
Everyone loves the gifts that you got everyone
They're very great gifts
I can go now man
Aiden already got his gift I gave him the friendship bracelet loves the gifts that you got everyone. They're very great gifts. I can go now, man.
Aiden already got his gift.
I gave him the friendship bracelet.
Slime. Where's my bag?
It's a good idea, huh?
It's a good gift.
I liked it. It's a good gift.
Slime, Ben had been talking about
we've been working on a lot of
video projects and he, Ben, had been
talking about like, get me in there, bro. I want to fucking get in there, there bro i want to fucking get in there i want to use my hands i want to work
on the videos more and so i got him this book that i read about film editing oh it's really good
and it it taught me a lot about how i approach the philosophy of film editing it's called the
in the blink of an eye It converts to digital really well.
By Walter Munch.
Walter Munch.
Munch.
Walter Munch.
The best editor
in the town.
The Ice Spice Song.
Wow.
It's got quotes
from George Lucas
on the back
and Fred Zinnemann.
I love movies.
My name's George.
The YouTuber,
Fred Zinnemann.
The high-pitched voice.
Filmmaker of our generation. This is so nice.
Thank you. You know you like reading.
And then Ludwig.
Can you bring up, not the pictures
I asked you to bring up, can you bring up what I sent you
two weeks ago? The actual gift.
Dude, I heard Zipper sigh.
He went, Zipper, just so you
know, half off Margs
today, so don't sigh too hard, buddy.
So this was your original gift.
I had commissioned someone to make a custom key for your Vespa.
I had Yingling go take a picture of your key, and I sent it to the guy, and he was going
to make you a medal with the Mogul Moves logo as your turn key for your vest when you say a guy what do you what like a random person or like someone who makes
keys like a like a fan that reached out no why are you why are you assuming that i think you
just said the way you said a guy i was like oh no it's like a random human skilled in this and
not like he was like walking down the street and they're like Nick. I already are and he's like dude
No, it's like you know
I like to keep the people that would like make keyboards for you and they make a keyboard and then it's like okay
But then they're like want to come over and stuff
Yeah, and it's so often right so it's not that right no. Oh, that's good
I did not go hey do any fans want to come duplicate the keys to our homes and yeah
Hey, do any fans want to come duplicate the keys to our homes and yeah?
Did do that?
Judgy about other people's get
Yes, right now. It's a great idea
So the guy canceled on me, so I didn't get tough
So what I even said keep up the other thing zipper, okay?
So you know we got a trip coming up soon right we're going to japan we're going to japan um uh i don't want to spoil it before this photo it's a google document about
so i got not that one
why is there a 3d render it's vintage that. It's vintage. That is a Kiwi. Someone made that in Discord. That's a fucking Kiwi couch.
Is that what was in your head, the render?
Is that close?
That looks like a pool table.
That's not really what was in my head, but the shape is close.
That looks like a Kiwi.
Wow.
Yeah, it does, huh?
Like a Kiwi you sit in.
And that's why he got you Kiwis.
Yo, that would be actually a cool line of furniture, though.
Kind of avant-garde is furniture that all looks like fruit.
Like a banana chair.
Yo.
You got the Kiwi couch. Like when we went to England and we ate meat inside of a fruit it was like that right
remember that yeah actually kind of yeah it looked like a fruit but it was actually
meat yeah yeah but you sit on it what we did that you guys talking about we went to a michelin star
restaurant in england and they served us like this thing that was like a fruit or whatever but it was pate that was just the what what was it just we just where's the goddamn picture thank
you i got you tickets to the ghibli museum in japan they're hard to get tickets to and you
have to book them ahead of time i knew you wouldn't do that so i got you tickets when you go
wow and it's i think it's a good gift experience
because he won't maybe know and maybe like connor will take him to do things i don't know about but
i did know about it did you get tickets though no i didn't get tickets though i didn't know that
you're almost sold out in february that's exciting that we got that i got tickets now
how many how many tickets i got you three that's a good amount of tickets so we won't because we
won't be there okay there was no tickets for the time we're there I got you three. That's a good amount of tickets. Because we won't be there.
There was no tickets for the time we were there.
Okay, so that's even better.
It would have been funny if it had to choose two of us to go.
That would be really funny. And he didn't choose you?
That'd be insane.
That would be insane.
That would be really...
That would be insane. I don't watch anime.
I'd be okay with that.
Ghibli.
I wanted to get you something that you Ghibli. Ghibli.
Ghibli.
Yeah, I wanted to get you something that you could do alone if you wanted to, but you don't
have to do alone.
That's smart.
So you got me a weed pen.
I got you a Rick and Morty weed pen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's...
And it has Shake Drizzle's initials on it.
That's tight.
I was going to say, it's embossed with the text conversations
Justin Roiland had
with minors on the side.
Yeah, slurs and all.
Yeah.
And it's like the one ring
and it just wraps around.
Yeah, yeah.
And different ones pop up.
Oh, jeez, Rick.
I'm jailbait, Rick.
Oh, jeez.
That's actually what
Sauron is saying
when he's whispering.
It's just the transcript
of those DMs. Oh, man. He's just the transcript of those DMs.
He's just trying to get Frodo to come
over.
My turn, man. That's great.
You want me to go or Eamon?
Just go, man. Just go. Come on. Me?
Come on. Get it done. No, no. Eamon for last.
I gotta go get mine. They're in the other room.
Alright, then Eamon, go.
No, I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait.
I'll stall by telling everybody who is listening
to this to go watch puss in boots in theater you got a fire i've heard animated movie of the year
i heard it was fire it's fire yeah does it live up to amazing spider-man i thought that was the
best animated movie of all time i think you're probably right and i think it probably doesn't
all time i think all time's bold i mean
it's in the competition with like what like spirited away like probably one or two pixars
depending oh i just maybe it's tough i think like it's probably like wally i think it's spirited
away spirit away i think i mean i think spider-man is up there spider-man's probably gonna like in
10 years the question is, will it hold?
As long as we all agree, top five.
Akira?
I think so.
Akira, wow, yeah.
Yeah, Akira's, yeah.
It's tough.
All right, Archie, here's your plate.
Take the plate.
Now, make this little guy rocket out of my hand.
And then there you go.
And that's it gone, so you can have something after.
Make it rocket out of my hand.
So, that's a rocket.
Archie has to do so much work late.
Yep, that's a rocket. He has to do it late.
And you made him do all that.
Hey guys. Archie, it can be really shit.
Hear me out. It's the new year.
A lot of people have new resolutions and
one of my resolutions is to stop
spending money so superfluously on
random things. Broke. As you say with
an A200. Broke talk.
Holy shit, bro. Slime, could you do me a favor and in Morse code, say something with that?
Well, I tell everybody at home that Rocket Money, formerly known as Truebill, is a personal finance app
that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bills.
All in one place.
Holy shit.
It's just like, they track your subscriptions, you can cancel them. It saves people up to 720 bucks a year
You can take that seven hundred and twenty dollars. You could buy like a hundred
One night with Aiden's mom to manage your plan stays with an easy way
Adam Sandler's new movie is 12 crazy nights, and it's all Aiden's mom
Anyway, go to rocket money.com forward slash
the yard that's rocket money.com forward slash the yard your expenses three months free you can't
come on man you can't get any bucks just go to rocket money.com forward slash the yard and manage
your money check your credit score manage your subscriptions i don't know maybe make like a
expense plan for the rest of the year so that you know
how much you're actually spending.
Send me your favorite-
Just go.
Just go to it.
Send me your credit score, and if it's bigger than mine, I'll come get you.
And then what I wrote in Morse code, if you want to figure it out at home, just pause
the video here, but what I wrote was the entirety of the script of Dark City, the 1998 film.
Thank you, Rocket Money.
It sounds heavy.
It's great and it's a muscle house.
You are a mess today.
What is going on?
Jesus.
Bowl in a china shop.
All right, what's up, everyone?
Hey, YouTube, what's going on?
All right, so for Nick, I got you this jacket.
I was so hoping the jacket was mine.
What does it say?
This is Dale Earnhardt's jacket.
Oh.
I don't think he actually owned it before he was incinerated.
Jesus.
Oh, it's not Junior?
No, it's OG.
Oh, damn.
This jacket is so nice.
He died in a car accident.
Yeah.
He's got so many cool brands on it. Dude, this is is so nice. He died in a car accident. He's got so many cool brands on it.
This is literally his actual jacket.
I don't know if it's a reissue, but it was on a street in New York City.
It's $190.
Yeah, it's like a real big deal jacket.
It looks good.
You had a lot of brands.
Look at that, bro.
Do the companies ever think like, hey, I don't think they'll notice us with the other 30 companies.
Maybe we don't sponsor them.
Look, marketing spends are good to have.
You know what I'm saying?
And the Brass Pro Shops.
Yeah, right?
And it's like black and it's huge.
And I think it's totally your style.
And you like Dale Earnhardt because Nick had an esports team that he made.
Bass Ho Shop and it's sexy fish.
Yo!
Yeah! Right? Yeah. What? No!
Yeah! Right?
Yeah!
Yeah.
What is, what is, what does that mean?
What did you guys say?
I feel like, yeah, we kind of covered it.
It's pretty straightforward.
Bass Ho Shop, all the fish are there, they're hot.
Oh, I didn't, I just didn't hear what he said.
Oh.
And I was like, but I thought you said something else.
You're off now, man.
Thanks for the gift, though.
I love it.
I'm not off!
Ah!
Okay. For Aiden, I got you my copy of Less Than Zero by Brett Easton Ellis
I actually read this, it's changed the way I think
Why the fuck would you get him another book?
No, because I know he'll never read it
But this book itself
the theme is emptiness
from living out here in the west
in LA and being a young, empty
youth with nothing to live for, the way that you and I are the same, and how you'll eventually
be me, this book was kind of a step toward that.
Eight and 20 years from now?
Yeah.
No job.
And I got you to accompany it.
Oh, okay.
All right.
This used crack pipe.
The real crack pipe from the Riot documentary.
So I got that for you. So it's got some- The real crack pipe from the Riot documentary. So I got that for you.
So it's got some...
The real crack pipe.
Don't shoot on camera too much here.
Don't shoot on camera too much here.
Don't shoot on camera too much here.
Archie, you can blur it out, but that's what he's holding right now.
And look.
Yeah, put it in your mouth.
Ooh, that's fun, huh?
I'll say we had to make it charred up somehow.
Yeah.
And real drugs were put in there.
Wow.
So that's for you.
And I think, yeah. What are you doing? There was a hair. He sucked some, yeah. Oh, he sucked out? somehow yeah and real drugs were put in there so wow so that's for you and i think yeah what are
you doing there's a hair he sucked some yeah he sucked out that's not good yeah that's real crack
that's good and yeah uh you don't have to read it in fact if you don't it'll be really funny
uh but context slime got aiden uh book once and Aiden didn't remember what it was called
Yeah, it was actually on a subject he cared about which is like cities and in place so much time in the inside of
The book I don't remember what the covers
And this last one is for you Ludwig. Okay, a little little rat in there. It's alive. I actually really hope it's not that
Okay, some wrapping looks like it's the Jerma dollhouse shirt.
That is your.
That is mine.
That is right.
That is your Jerma 985 dollhouse t-shirt that I took one day because I needed to wear a
shirt.
Right.
And you said, make sure that I get that back.
Okay.
And so I thought, what do you get the man who has everything?
You get him something he actually likes that he lost once,
and you give it back to him.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just don't want it to be a trend where you take things from me
and then gift them to me and say this speech because I feel like you could.
Well, the thing is, you'll remember that you liked this, right?
I don't have to do any guesswork.
I don't have to get a Ghibli ticket museum thing.
I can just give you something.
Are you saying it's less work for you?
No, no, it's more meaningful for you.
That's why I got it.
Yeah.
But you took it.
Yeah, because I needed a shirt.
But he didn't keep it and that's a gift. That's what I'm saying. I could have kept it. You know what? I could you took it. Yeah, because I needed a shirt. But he didn't keep it, and that's a gift.
That's what I'm saying.
I could have kept it.
You know what?
I would be more.
I could have lost it.
You could have lost it.
That would be a bad friend move.
I feel like you did the normal friend thing, and I'm being gaslit to think it's a good
friend thing.
Do you?
Let me ask you this question.
What does gas have to do with it?
We're just giving gifts.
Nobody's lighting anything.
You guys are right.
Since the moment I messaged you.
Am I being crazy? You're always crazy. You're being an asshole right now. Sorry. lighting anything. You guys are right. Since the moment I messaged you. Am I being crazy?
You're always crazy.
You're being an asshole right now.
And you are being crazy and unreasonable.
Quit piping up.
Quit piping up.
Yeah.
Or you might fall again.
And so let me ask you a question.
The last time I messaged you and I said, I'll keep your German shirt safe.
Have you thought about it since?
Uh, no.
Welcome.
Welcome to your presence.
This is an old Amen argument.
But that's a bad argument. Why? Because I don't think about a lot of things. Welcome. Welcome to your presence. This is an old Amon argument. But that's a bad argument.
Why?
Because I don't think about a lot of things.
Okay.
But I will say when I saw it, my first thought was, oh, I forgot about that.
And so that's why I wanted to say Merry Christmas.
He could have left it to his shoes.
The other thing I got you that is coming that is just going to take forever and it's like
probably your actual real gift
is just a Korean VHS
of Toy Story.
Cool.
That's dope.
The cover is so sick.
That's tight.
Can I look it up?
I actually kind of want to know
what the difference is.
Yeah, you can zip around
and look it up.
Korean cover?
Yeah, Korean Toy Story
cover VHS.
Yeah, it's just real hard looking.
Is it the one bottom left or the second one? It's the first one the third one first and third first and third way
that's the english one just with korean text yeah that's tight that's a sick gift thanks
i like it a lot yeah it's dope it's like coming from korea yeah no sick I think just like a cool country. I think fine likes me the best
You're probably right
Final one of the day, let's see what you got at Target
This is my gifts what I wanted to do is I wanted to get, because before we had this segment planned,
I wanted to get you gifts in Hong Kong because I think Hong Kong is a cool place.
He's bringing up the one part that he can't be chastised for
because he got sick and kicked out of Hong Kong
for being American.
That was my plan.
Yeah, this is when the boss covers the damage area
and you just have to run.
So this is not necessarily,
I ended up going to Little Tokyo to like try and find something interesting for each of you just want to clarify you know they're
different yeah do you think that's the same thank you because there's dude it's just because
some say some say it's the tokyo of hong kong true yeah it's fair okay so for anthony i got you
this this hat that i thought you would look cute in.
Wow.
And I want you to just, there's something to figure out with it.
Okay.
Yeah.
And is this cute?
Do you not know it?
So kiddo, go in the corner and just fuck with that while we do the podcast.
Yeah.
Do you know what it is?
Throw it on your head first.
Throw it on your head.
Throw it on your head.
Is this like a mascot for like a pedophile cartoon?
Let me see it.
Let me see it.
Are you guys putting me in an unwinnable situation? Show me the face. Show me the face like a pedophile? Yeah, it is
Good you're good like it doesn't see like this seems really nice. That's dog death
Now say, Oni-chan.
Figure out the thing.
See? Watch.
Oh my god!
What's happening?
Oh my god, he doesn't know!
He doesn't know!
Are they going up and down? Yeah. I can barely see my reflection on the TV.
Yeah, your ears are flopping.
He's happy!
Wow.
Look at that.
You're so happy.
That is the craziest hat I've ever seen.
Hey, someone ask me a question.
What is your favorite book?
Yeah, he'll answer.
Okay. That's cute, man... Yeah, he'll answer. Okay.
That's cute, man!
That's a great hat.
Good hat, man.
I'm happy.
I'm satisfied.
Alright.
I'll wear this the whole time.
I'm kind of cold.
That's gotta feel so good
on his head.
It does, it does.
And when I saw it,
I was like,
this is gonna feel good
on my bald head.
The hair again.
Yeah, it's soft, right?
Yeah.
It'd feel bad on our heads.
Yeah. Alright, plug me, skip. I'm just, yeah, standing you feel good on my bald head. The hair again. Yeah, it's soft, right? Yeah. It'd feel bad on our heads. Yeah.
All right.
Ludwig's gift.
I'm just, yeah, standing you.
You know, I, uh, you know, why, why slow the train down if it's, if it just got started
up?
So I got you.
Oh, wow.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I got you this.
We can blow this.
Nami is, Nami is quite literally bent over a table.
You went all the way.
Yo, unbox it.
It's a Nami from One Piece figurine, and she's meant to be bent over a table going,
hey, boys.
Unbox it.
Unbox it.
And her boobs are busting out of her bra.
No, they made her boobs way bigger as the series went on, right?
Yeah, that's true.
And they also whitewashed some characters.
Can you look up Robin before and after time skip zipper?
Which is crazy because Robin was already the oldest member of the crew.
It doesn't really make any sense.
So Robin, pre-time skip.
So Robin was the Lanky Kong of One Piece.
Looked much different than post-time skips.
So on the left is what she used to look like. And on much different than post-time skits. Yeah.
So on the left is what she used to look like.
And on the right is what she looks like now.
So they kind of lightened up her skin a bit.
She was always so snatched, though.
She was always snatched, to be fair.
But they did bust her up, and they did make her whiter.
And they made her have less of a defined nose.
Insane.
So, I got you that.
Dude, I have tried so hard to get rid of all of my Nami figurines what do you mean try hard why because I have five or four of them
so I kept every charity drive giving me a lot I don't know how you're gonna have
this one I didn't have this one and you got me there and that's why I'm going
your night dude it can go on beverages, put it on your Vespa.
Yo.
That's actually sick.
That's hard as fuck, bro.
Like a trucker with like a little dancing.
Like truck nuts.
I'm going to throw it on my Red Bull right now.
You just cut Nami's fucking rack.
Hang it off.
Thanks, Eamon.
Yeah, I love how you gave him a gift and he said, this is the thing I've been trying to
get away from forever.
You didn't preface it by saying saying let's not slow the train down.
I was thinking a lot about this because the train being you beating your meat.
Which you do.
You indulge.
You're so big.
You get crazy.
It's actually crazy.
You got big knockers, bro.
Do you want help?
Do you need a key?
No, man.
I'm trying to do it cleanly.
I'm trying to do it cleanly.
I want to save the box.
So you can resell it
That's fine
I don't want it to lose value
I'm putting mint on the eBay listing
What are you saying Eamon?
I was thinking about who the hardest
Who is the hardest to get gifts for
Me after this
Who's the hardest person
After you've gotten gifts
He's wearing sweatshirts He's the hardest person after you've gotten you wearing sweatshirts
hardest uncut
person here
who is the hardest person in your mind it's Nick
it's not it's definitely actually so wrong
because I think I fucking got Nick
the like probably
like
always gives me the best gift three of
the top 10 greatest gifts he's got in the past five years
is that true?
Okay, well, of my non-partners.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I said past five.
Five years?
Oh, yeah, I guess there's Christmas and birthdays.
Okay.
I was hoping to crack the top three with zipper, too.
For you?
Oh, she's so much smaller in the box.
I have, and it's not, wait, are you, is it not already built?
No, you gotta, bros never open a figurine. I'm cringing. Wait, are you... Is it not already built? No, you gotta...
Bros never open a figurine.
I'm cringing.
Wait, your previous one was already built, right?
No, it wasn't.
This guy beats off the corn like a normal person.
Wait, you built it?
You have to...
Every single...
You built the last one?
You have to put it together?
You built it?
No, I didn't build it.
I set it up for chat.
I don't like her.
Did you put her...
But I saw it.
Upright.
I don't like that.
What do you mean?
What's wrong with her like this?
Can I hold her? Can you just like this? Can I hold her?
Can you just keep going, Amy?
Can I hold her?
Keep going.
No, no one can hold her except for me.
What?
She's mine.
Why do you want other people to hold it?
But her rack is insane.
Why do you want other people to hold it?
Keep going.
Okay, I immediately had a gift idea for you.
And I was scared that you would think it's lame because I currently own it already.
And I wanted you to have it because I thought it would be nice for you to round out your collection.
It's foreskin.
And then I got worried.
I got scared.
I thought it would be bullied for re-gifting you something.
But now that I've thought about it more.
Wait, we bully for that?
I thought that was like a cool thing.
We bully for less, Ludwig.
But then I thought about
how much it means to me
or how much I like it
and I was like,
no, this is not.
This is so vague
and I'm so confused.
I have the,
so there's certain types
of like special,
special, rare,
I'm describing the gift,
special, rare GameCube controllers.
Like there's like crazy limited
edition ones that have come out like over the past couple decades and like finding some of the
rarer ones is like can be really hard or really expensive and there's this one that is a keyboard
it is a gamecube controller with a keyboard in the middle of it. And they didn't make a lot of these. And there's two of them.
There's one that Nick already has.
And then there's one in a different color.
And I own that one.
And I always thought it was cute.
Yeah.
That we had the two of them.
You're like Goku and Vegeta.
So I want to give you the keyboard
because I'm in the process of,
I don't want to keep these things anymore
and i was like you don't keep your keyboard no and i was like i rather i rather like give it to
you to like complete the collection of like having the keyboard like controllers that's a good gift
i want to give that to you i'm close to having all the controllers now then thank you so you
don't wait you don't want to keep your gamecube stuff anymore no this is like when a parent
realizes their kid found a new hobby they're like you don't want to keep your GameCube stuff anymore? No, this is like when a parent realizes their kid found a new hobby. They're like you don't like Sonic anymore
I didn't like leaving little Tokyo without something for you. So just like a two gifts. Got you a little guy
Oh, shy guy!
Take a bow, man.
Toss him, give him a toss.
Man, what a day in little Tokyo will do, huh?
I think I got the best gifts. Yeah
Well, you know, no? I think I got the best gifts. Yeah.
Because I'm your princesses.
Well, what if you got... You know what's fucked up?
You know what a real thing I thought was?
Because Nick's gift is coming next week.
I thought, I'll give him back his red shirt.
And then I was like, nah, that'd be dumb.
Yeah.
You can have that shirt, man. It's yours.
I couldn't find it.
Anyway...
No, we got... No, of course not. yeah you can have that shirt man it's yours I couldn't find it anyway you probably threw it away
huh
wait
in the Eagle Purge
no we got
no of course not
you threw away
Duke Vitro's shirt
I did
yeah of course I did
you can undress him
it's like
it's like the one you got
yeah
it's like that
naughty naughty
well
which you've done a lot
you use it a lot
Shy Guy's underage
I don't like that
Shy Guy's underage
Shy Guy does not have an age.
Shy guy is a ghost.
He's got the Annie Milonakis thing.
It's shy guy.
That's why he's a shy guy.
I will say when Aiden got me this, he's like, I think you would look really cute in it,
which made me like it.
Dude, that thing is crazy.
Yeah, isn't that nice?
The idea that he thought that this would look funny on you to
me that means more than like if i would like it yeah well for some reason he's flattered you my
thought process was like this this would look cute it reminds me of like other similar things
i really like that you've worn in the past and also because it has these cute movable ears on
it that you squeeze it's like a a little ADHD thing you know it's like
It's like a fidget you can just make it expressive for your head
Like this is binary. It's actually trinary because it's one two and zero I
Guess you got it
New coding the redstone switch bro is on another level bro discovered a new coding language
bro is a trinary
aren't those the guys who fucking cheated on them
I also had a second gift
for you
it's a diet gift
meaning I didn't get it for you but you can activate it
if you want it
oh trap card he got you a trap card
so I almost thought of replacing your gift
with tickets when we go to Japan to Monkey Mountain.
But it's far from where we're staying.
So we'll have to take like a two and a half hour train ride to go.
But if you would like to go, I will go with you.
Okay.
I will take that journey with you if you want to go to Tokyo and then travel two to three hours to a mountain with monkeys on it.
The monkeys sit in hot springs
because it's cold out.
They relax and you look at the monkeys
and they're all bathing.
I mean, I feel like if I go...
Different place, but we can go there too.
If I go to Japan and I don't see Monkey Mountain,
I feel like I won't have gone at all.
Yeah, so we can go somewhere with monkeys.
Maybe there's a closer place I don't know about.
Sure.
That one's like a hike.
It's on top of a mountain.
Wow, that's so nice.
And they grab them from your hands.
I want to feed little bears.
Well, anyway, great
gifts, everybody. Hey. Good job.
Look at us. We should always do gifts on the pod.
We do better. We do better
when we do it on the pod. Do better
like giving gifts? We get better gifts.
We give better gifts. What about when I got
everybody a bidet?
I was such a cop out.
It was insane.
That was the best gift
you ever gave me actually.
It was a great gift.
What?
It wasn't personal.
That was hurtful
that he said that.
No, it was so good.
I tried so much harder
for other gifts though.
No, here's the reason
why I say that.
It wasn't the most
thoughtful gift.
But it impacted my life
the most and I use it
every day.
Bidets are life changers.
It is true.
Yeah. I mean, I get
it, but that was in Ludwig's ultra grind
era where he didn't have time for nothing.
He's coming back to us. People have been hitting me up
like slop to get them bidets.
They just keep like
can you slop me up? They're like, yeah,
can I get a couple of days? And I'm like,
yeah, I'll get you some bidets. Every
influencer in LA's ass is about
to be cleaned by swipe. We should start doing corporate offices.
We actually could.
Get them swiped up.
Oh, that'd be kind of hype.
And then we sell it like Microsoft Teams contracts.
We upsell with some urinal cakes with my face on it.
We pay like, how much do we pay for slack?
We pay like $1,000.
And it's actually edibles.
Juvie flavored urinal cakes.
That's dope. Nate, It's always been my dream.
We have to do it.
I was five and I looked at my dad and I was like, what if...
I want to give taurine to gamers.
Through the urinal cakes.
And we call it the place that kids go to jail.
This is my dream.
Hey, but it tastes fucking fire, though.
I've used a urinal every day for the past 10 years.
Here's the thing.
You guys are talking shit, but I hope they sent us a pallet of juvie for this fucking spot.
They did convince us that it was a good-
No ad.
I love juvie.
Okay, well, it's just an ad.
I love it.
It's not an ad.
Can you be funny about it?
I love it.
I love it.
All right, real ad.
Juvie gives you cancer.
Sorry.
If your can of Juvie is bigger than your face, you have cancer.
Yeah, and it's confirmed.
And it's confirmed.
I think you shouldn't drink eight in the same day.
Well, that's Mike.
There's this old Tumblr post where it's like the average American eats like nine spiders
in their sleep a year, except for except for spiders Georg who eats 3,000
but he is an outlier and should not be counted which is classic post Mike is the spiders Georg
he should not be counted because he drinks way too many yeah I remember I think the first time
I recognized that Ludwig was famous was when uh
we i was like hey lud you should ask for yerba mate and then he asked for yerba mate and we got
two pallets of it sent to our house for free in the garage still in circulation some of it
definitely turned into kombucha in there uh but i was just like whoa that's a lot that was also
in a subathon because i remember totinos was reaching out to like me and they were like hey
does ludwig want some Totino's?
Because it's just free.
It's going to be on there the whole time.
And I was like, Hey, Ludwig, do you want this shit?
You want pizza rolls, buddy?
No, I don't want that.
I got in trouble for the Yerba, because it wasn't supposed to be on stream.
That's just, we put it in the garage, and I ended up working out in the garage.
Yeah, and it was a pallet.
Oh, did you have a thing with G Fuel?
I had a thing with G Fuel.
They're like, you can't be doing
this. Yeah, that is a huge conflict.
You should have been smarter about that. Why?
One is tea and the other is
fucked up amounts
of caffeine and powder for it. Yo, okay, I got
an idea. So, marketing opportunity
for Juvie. Okay, we reach out
to Red Bull and Juvie and we say,
both of you pick a random amount to send
not random, both of you pick an amount of cans for free to send us.
And whoever sends us more cans in their one amount wins the prize.
They win with just pure brute force.
Pure hate.
They win the prize.
Red Bull definitely wins because I'm still on their mailing list.
Still?
You still get that shit?
We had a contact who worked at Red Bull and he was like, yeah, I'll put you on the mail
and we'll get you Red Bull.
And I've been getting Red Bull like every two weeks or a month for like four years.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I got a lot of fucking Red Bull.
I always thought it was some fun, cool package and then it was fucking Red Bull.
Yeah, it's always Red Bull.
The packages are never fun or cool.
We're fucking all drinking right now.
We're literally all drinking right now.
You know what I started
doing is because brands keep on
sending me shit, so I just start sending it to other
people. Like one time, Michelob Ultra
reached out and they're like, we want to send you a package. I'm like,
send it over. They're like, what's your address?
And I gave them Ben's address.
Our friend from college because he loves Michelob Ultra.
You're from Arizona? Yeah, yeah. It's a P.O.
box. I drive there.
And then there was another one It was uh it was like
Uh shit I forget who
It might have been like Starforge or like hey
We want to send you like a package like a big thanks
After like chest boxing I was like perfect
I put in Atriox address didn't tell him
That's funny
One day he just sets up and uses it and never asks fucking questions
He finds out he got mad but that's my
New thing is I just I'm plugging in random people's
Addresses that's so nice of you.
I don't need it and sometimes they like
it and sometimes they're atrioc. Yeah it is a burden
on your life and to him
as well like when you just getting
shit I remember you got that big magic the gathering
set because you had an activation. Right. And you
were just like what am I going to do with
all this? Yeah. You know what I'm
saying? Big magic head. Why didn't atrioc
like the computer?
It's not a computer,
it was like a,
like a,
like a little,
cheeses and,
yeah,
critters.
So Starforge PC's
wine and cheese box.
It was like a PC company here,
here's our box of cheese
and critters.
It was like a,
hey,
we are partners,
let us send you cheese
that we all got.
could I get in on the
critter box
and let her send it out?
You could.
Our accountant sends us meats and cheeses
every year, or at least me.
Sometimes you want meat. I'm not getting meats and cheeses.
You get meats and cheeses? From our accountant.
Yeah, we get meats and cheeses.
Yeah, because you weren't fucking in the trenches in the PayPal
fucking Excel sheet with 60,000
lines arranging it for a
poor boomer accountant.
I know because one time I got high and he told me
all about it. Yeah, I remember. And it. Slimed us a lot. I know because one time I got high and he told me all about it.
Yeah, I remember.
And there were four of them
and they were all telling me stuff.
So I know it was a lot.
We talked about that once.
I felt so proud.
I was like, oh my God,
my kid wants to know about
what his dad does for work.
I love when Lubbock gets high
and he's just like,
how's the camera work?
I have a Quebin for you.
What's your Quebin?
Now that it's been long enough,
do you miss us?
Do you miss living with us a little bit
no no it's not true i don't i don't think i do damn okay i think i don't go on
all right moving on i would say like hanging out but i think the hanging out when you live
with someone is less substantial than when you hang out with someone and you don't live with
them like it's less quality I think
overall. Yeah. I do talk to
Aiden. Aiden was telling me this. He was like
we just don't talk much anymore
more. And I'm like yeah because
you are
dead inside. You know
what I mean? That's so wise. Wait who's dead? Him?
Most of our interactions. It's cause I feel
like less than zero.
Are you selling for him?
Yeah.
Check out the primo.
Aiden said some shit about Logan Paul that you might want to hear.
It was crazy.
Whoa.
You did.
Did you not?
You said you were Logan P.
Wait, wait.
So did you talk about Logan Paul?
Yeah.
Should they listen to the primo?
Yeah.
So he said some shit about Logan Paul you want to hear about?
Because he weathered the controversy in my dream.
Okay.
Save it for the goddamn primo
anyway, I think the conversations we had like me and you when we lived together was mostly like
Like hey Ludwig like what do you think about this?
And then I'd be like, I'd be like, my name's Jim Mound.
No, it was way different. We were not Sims
It was different because I was doing so much because it was just you and me, Shaq and Kobe. Right. If Shaq was just like a streamer
And you're Kobe still and Kobe again
and if Kobe
slept until 4pm but
stayed up until
3 but then went back to bed for like a little bit
yeah if Kobe slept twice in a day
that's that actually might
line up with Kobe's practice schedule
that's back when you were LARPing being a bear
and not just liking him
no it was like I think
working with you in the way I need
things like done or the way I like
to do things is really stressful with the way
you are not that I think
neither of us are right we're just different
and so I was constantly stressed out I think
it would have been different if like
Yingo was your guy instead and I
was just living there
and I think about that sometimes.
But I think it changed the dynamic in a way that was like,
we didn't have a lot of conversations because I always needed something from you.
And I was also usually frustrated with you in a small way.
And that led to me, like, that just led to not having friend conversations a lot.
It was more like, what's up?
I need this from you.
Please, Ludwig.
Back in my no days off grind.
Now I take
days off.
What are you talking about?
You missed the all hands today. He's
turning it around. He's a new man
this year. We're turning around this year.
You didn't tell me this. By the way, me and Ludwig
had to go get something signed today.
And we're in downtown LA and we need to get there
because he has to go watch Puss in Boots. Fire movie, bro. He's like, there's some limes down the street. Let's go get something signed today and we're in downtown la and we need to get there because he has to go watch puss in boots and he's like fire movie he's like there's some limes down the
street let's go get them and i'm like i've never done this before oh it's like the scooters that
it's every city he activates the limes we start fucking scooting our way like nine city blocks
it was really fun yeah and then um and then we're driving we're like scooting and someone in their
car is like hey hey, Ludwig.
And Ludwig's like this, you know, Ken Griffey Jr.
I'm like, slime.
And I'm like, wow, we are truly looking glass.
Dude, I think my most magical moments with you have been on bikes, have been on the Vespa in Italy.
And when we biked through like central Sydney together, it was the same thing.
We got lime bikes and we were just cruising between cars and stuff. Bro, when you get off those
and you look at how much you paid, you're just like,
I could, if I do this like eight
more times, it's the price of one of these.
Yeah. It's crazy. No, it's not
that bad. It's so cheap, though. No, dude.
I just was on one like last week. I went like
a mile for like,
I think it was like 18 to 20 bucks.
That is brutal.
On the scooters?
Yeah.
On the Lime scooter.
The bikes are super cheap.
The bikes are pretty cheap.
The scooters are, I think, pretty expensive if you keep doing them especially.
But man, is it fun to flock around.
So they call it flocks when you get multiple.
We start flocking around.
If it's a bird, it's a flock.
If it's a lime, I wouldn't say it's a flock.
It's a tree.
It's a tree of citrus.
Yeah.
The lime tree.
You got a couple trees coming around. Yeah. They a tree of citrus. Yeah. A couple trees coming around.
Yeah.
They are fucking terrible, though.
Yeah.
I was riding around.
I was in the bike lane, and I just saw a bunch parked in the bike lane fucking tumbled over.
Some had their guts ripped out like it was an AI that's heart was stolen from it.
Like a violent robot.
If you ride on the sidewalk, it yells at you.
It knows. It didn't yell at me. Certain cities. It goes off the sidewalk, it yells at you. It knows.
It didn't yell at me.
Certain cities.
It goes off the sidewalk.
Not in LA, I think.
I was in Long Beach.
I was like, get off the sidewalk.
And I'm like, no, bitch.
You turn into a fucking car.
I'm fucking riding you on the sidewalk.
What it does is if they get mad at you, they don't do anything.
It's just like, all right, well, then you're going to have to use it like a regular scooter.
And then you're just like all right well then you're gonna have to use it like a regular scooter and then you're like all right all right i'd rather not kick but i can't kick if you want me to yeah i just i what were we saying before that though how we went to the
notary you want to talk about how you the shit you take a nice shit in there yeah that was normal
i interrupted you know i'm shit bro we. We were talking about how we climbed around,
lived together, and you took a big shit.
We were at the notary together. He's like, I got a poop
so bad I can't believe it's coming right now.
I was like, it's gonna be alright. He's like, bro, it's
so bad right now. I was bent over
wheezing at the notary.
He was so dramatic
about it. He's like, do you guys have a bathroom on this
floor? Because we're on the second floor.
He couldn't ride the elevator down
because there was a building where it's like sometimes
you just ask if you can go to the bathroom in some spots
and they're like sorry no you
cannot do that here and so I was like
I was trying not to burden man
I was like is there a bathroom that you
know of not yours sir
please god put me
in a toilet because I need it real bad
and I got there before before we know to rise
You took care of business notaries are it seems like a scam
It's just a dude who stands there. He's like yeah, they signed it. Yeah, but that's accountability. Yeah, like most things
It only I guess it's the alternative in your head
doing it from home trust us
He's gonna get in bank government again
The FTC From home trust us That's what I'm saying I told you he's Logan pilled what do you like it? You know what I like?
What do you like good eats and fucked up URLs?
Eat meals straight to your door.
You ever go into a Factor 75?
Not ready to type.
It's like a fucking password generator wrote this shit.
Someone fix it.
Please get it.
It has actually had up to here.
They might have a difficult URL, but I ate a Factor today.
It was the cream corn and chicken.
You look like you ate a factory today.
The thing is, I didn't because I got 47 grams of protein.
I'm squatting 315 these days, folks.
Let me ask you about the cream corn that you ate.
Did you hork it down?
Did you hork down that cream?
You tell me.
Sure.
Oh, my God.
Bro, you look good.
You look good.
You eat more factor than any of us.
These thighs are formed by factor.
That is actually 100% true because he eats them all the time.
And I see him, when he eats them, he heaves over.
I scarf.
I scarf.
34 meal choices per week.
Which one are you going this week?
This week, I'm probably going to go a little crazy on the stuffed casserole.
I might go a little stupid, goofy, dumb goofy on the chicken taco bowl.
You know what my favorite part of those is?
Is poking the holes in it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's kind of fun.
It's like your little bubble wrap.
And I like that.
Turns out some, by the way, have sauces in them,
and you don't put those in the microwave.
I didn't know that.
The more you know.
Hey, tip.
Don't put them in the microwave.
It's good for everyone.
Anyway, it's two and a half minutes,
maybe two minutes,
I think two and a half,
to heat it up.
You get a bunch of protein,
great macros.
You can track them really easily.
They have gourmet, keto, Can you pick which one is this? Calorie smart, vegan, veggie. Maybe two minutes. I'll do two and a half to heat it up. You get a bunch of protein. Great macros. You can track them really easily.
They have gourmet. Can you pick which ones I do?
Calorie smart, vegan, veggie.
Ludwig's thigh is bigger than my head.
It's true.
You have a tiny head to my thigh.
You have a big thigh.
Anyway, Aiden, please.
What is the URL, though?
Hey, man.
If you want to do this, go to go.factor75.com slash theyard60
and use code theyard60
to get 60% off
your first box.
Actually, you need to say it twice. What is it?
So it's the code.
The code is yard.
The code.
The yard 60.
Go to factor75.com
slash theyard60 to get 60% off your first box for thighs just like Ludwig.
And so that I keep reading this fucking URL.
Thank you, Factor.
What were you saying, Ludwig?
Something about how...
He is Logan Pelt.
He's been like...
He's seeing the Matrix now.
Yeah.
I'll just take the vaccine
and tell you if it's approved or not.
I took it.
I'm fucked up now.
You know they got like...
Now I'm the real me.
They got like quadruple boosters
in some countries.
That's...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are this country...
Yeah, some of those like...
Oh, wait.
Like first world countries.
Yeah. No, that's just if you drink three Diet Cokes in a row.
It's the same effect.
I mean, maybe my experience is different, but for me, it was like, get your first shot,
start complaining about it, never get another shot, post online about how the shots are
treating you bad, move on.
Wait, no, you got your second shot.
You didn't get your boostie?
No, I think in America it goes, get your first second boosty? You didn't get your boosty? No,
I think in America it goes,
get your first shot,
get your second shot,
get your boosty,
and then it's kind of like,
free for all.
Yeah,
the booster after that,
people are like,
ah.
You ever drink your orange juice
while you get the boosty
and you start getting extra high
because you had orange juice?
Mm.
You ever brush your teeth
and drink orange juice?
Dude,
what a,
what a deep one.
God,
I remember,
like the,
dude,
do you ever,
did you guys ever do the hippie shit when you smoked?
I'm sure it's called something else, but
The hippie shit?
What are you talking about?
What the fuck are you talking about?
We smoked weed, and we would get in a corner
of, like, outside or a room
or, like, where buildings are, and
because we did it behind the school
where, like, there was, like, the loading dock.
Yeah, as you do.
You smoked the weed weed and then you...
What?
You smoke the weed and then you hold it in and you start doing kind of like Final Fantasy VII.
You start doing squats up and down.
You guys are hitting the gritty?
Is it?
Did you invent the gritty?
You're doing the gritty right now.
We're doing the gritty, but you're holding it in.
And you're holding it in as much as you can.
And you go up and down, up and down.
And then you get really low to the ground,
all while still holding it in.
And then you blow it all out, and then you start hyperventilating.
It's called the hippie shit.
Okay, so I've done something similar without weed,
but in high school, there was this phase
where everyone would try to make
themselves pass out and so to do that you start breathing really heavy like yeah deep breath
deep breath out deep breath in deep breath out and then i think you're supposed to like deep
breath in and like blow on your thumb while like doing squats or something and you like guaranteed
pass out and so we'd all go to like a secret classroom and then try to pass out during lunch.
And then,
and then they had to do like a pass out room.
They had to do like a,
a,
a,
like a,
one of those morning announcements.
And they're like,
and to any students who are caught trying to make themselves pass out,
you will be suspended.
And so they wouldn't let anybody make themselves pass out,
which I thought was like overreaching.
Cause it's my body,
my choice.
Exactly.
They did it at our school smoking Smarties
What you guys didn't have a smarty smoking your smarties?
No, I've never been crushed up the Smarties and then you you inhale them out of the plastic. Oh
Wait you put them in an oil burner
I've never seen this I have so many bro
You can just get so many of these on Amazon
Yeah cause you tried to fucking
dupe me once
I got more
Cause I lost the ones I tried to give you
Wow that's crazy
I'm a two time oil burner customer
on Amazon
First hits free
From Amazon's perspective
you've reeled in your
crack addiction well no it's more like i lost all my pipes if you go to amazon do they recommend it
now are they like hey you need some more oil burners yeah it's computer parts and drug
paraphernalia you might need some some drivers and some weed yeah yeah that's fair yeah i think for the uh for the inhale
thing i'm i'm anti that no i don't like smoking weed but in the few occasions in my life where
i've been in a circle where people are smoking weed it goes around fast they start just fucking
the the the weed itself and they start just because everyone's supposed to go and when you
smoke weed you're supposed to inhale in your lungs and hold it and then go but then you don't have to hold it you do
it want what you're supposed to that's why you guys did it right to get more high yeah it was
just a good it sounds like you didn't get invited that often me no i didn't the first time i ever
smoked weed i fucked it up and i blew it out and they never invited me back in high school
you fucked it up yeah they had one of those bowls and i didn't know how to smoke out of the
bowl oh yeah you've told this before i blew it out i blew it out but anyway my strat is is kind of
dog to the weed enjoyers but if it comes around i'll fake smoke it so it goes away quicker because
i don't want it to keep being passed around i did this at the what was that thing? The cutie party that she threw on
Kind of your job to know that
Yeah that is
It is
There was a cutie party I forget
Christmas time
Was it a streamed thing?
No no no offline
I think it was Christmas party
And then there was someone who was smoking weed
Stinking up the area
So every time it came to me, I'd go, just in my mouth.
So it wouldn't get me high, but it'd go away.
Which is a dog move to the weed owner, but it was generally a smart play to get it rid
Why did you just say, I don't want to do that?
Because then it would have stayed there longer, smoking up the area.
Yeah, so he's doing a public service to get rid of the weed smoking faster.
I see.
It's like using a bucket to get water out of a boat.
You could just get,
this makes no sense because you like being high.
So it's like,
you may as well just get high along the way.
Cause I felt like I was high enough and I didn't want to get more high,
but I didn't want the weed to stay there.
Yeah.
And I didn't want to say,
Hey guys,
get rid of that weed.
So I start fake smoking the weed.
This is, Oh, I found it. Okay. What i start fake smoking the weed this is oh i found it
okay what are you sorry so this is a subject change uh it was on your subreddit there's another i
missed the old ludwig post and it's like a picture of your old old stream and i was reading the
comments on this and one of them was like um oh man uh so people mean but it's actually just the
thing that happens a creator grows and changes the way
changes one way sometimes you do i only tune in for the massive event slash game shows in 24 hour
streams now and even the yard is something i'm moving away from and i had a full-on autistic
latch on to that with the 20 subscription shit happens it ain't bad or good it's just what it is
change and it got me thinking because it
mentions us as a collective the yard and it's like is that a good thing or a bad thing what
this person in general moving away but also the idea of like what a yard if you're like a day
one yard listener and now you're like still listening like i wonder how different we are
i wonder if we're not different i wonder if like because remember you said that thing about like how
in a year only half the people
that watch you watch you still
there's some stat like that
and it just got me thinking about it
do you know Toy Story 3?
no. next question
there's a scene with Lotso Huggin Bear
he knows Korean Toy Story 3
it's in the Korean one
I don't know a good equivalent for Lotso Huggin' Bear, so I won't.
But Lotso Huggin' Bear points to a bunch of portraits of classes,
and he goes, that's the great thing about Sunnyside.
Once one class gets old and leaves,
we got a batch of new kids to come and play with us.
And he's trying to sell the vision of Sunnyside.
Turns out he's evil.
Anyways, that aside.
He's the leader of a cult, by the way.
Because he had gotten abandoned and didn't trust having any family. But
the point I'm trying to make here is that as a
creator, there's a bunch of schools
of kids, whether it's kids, adults, whatever,
that will find you at some point.
Yeah.
Especially if you're a YouTuber.
That's what you're looking for.
Especially if you're a YouTuber.
They don't gotta be kids. Fresh, malleable minds.
That's not exactly what I'm specifying on.
Let's glaze over the age part of this.
No, glazed too. That's a great adjective.
Glazed kids.
The kids aren't glazed.
Hey, Blake, check out this PragerU video.
We're not alright either.
But the point I'm trying to make here guys
Sweet and sticky
What?
This is your gun
I have left party chat
First of all
What do you think glazing means?
Do you think it means getting people in glaze
Like donuts?
What literally else could it mean?
You take each viewer and you stick them through the machine
At Krispy Kreme And they come out I'd be so flamed What literally else could it mean you take each viewer and stick them through the machine at crispy
And then it hardens in there trapped
Compacted car like killing a child like a child
With murder we gotta know what happened so it doesn't happen to other kids. Yeah, we have to experiment. That's why
This for a long time then they switched to animals who pro animal they're putting kids in glaze machines
They were testing not the donut specifically. Before we put the doughnut dough through this, we better make sure it works on the kid.
Because if it covers a kid's bones, it can make a doughnut.
If you glaze a kid, you glaze a ball.
And then one in twelve of the things you put through the machine is covered in Ludwig's cum instead.
Don't bring that back with the kids!
Ludwig, you're putting your cum in the machine, bro?
I don't know what's worse, you kids young and sticky are you talking about?
Blazin is is a term I that that that's that's what they call a truck that is stupid fans that know
Lizzie Lizzie
Glizzy hands is the zipper. Can you look up glaze in urban urban dictionary I think it's like Bugging Tripping
Right
It's like a modern vernacular
No way
You're glazing
I've actually never heard this
It's
It's
Yeah it's
It's like
Probably
Predominantly
For the black community
Less than zero
Can you find it in there
Zipper can you look up glazing
It's not in here
Not
Not in here
Zipper
I'm googling it
I'm googling it
Cause zipper is out of commission let's see
can't find tripping in here either what is it what's that
anyway to just quickly get over this uh glazing when a man rubs a semen covered
what the hell when a man puts a child through the machine when someone is capping or tripping
about something that person knows that you're glazing
I don't think you can say that word
I just banged like 15 bitches high as fuck
Last night and smoked a whole ounce of
Wrapper weed with my bitches
With a whole ounce of wrapper weed
This feels
They didn't even use the word glazing in the example
But that's what it means
No that made it really clear
Glazing that's what it means Glad you guys are all updated Back to the lots of hugging bear Cause that's where it means no that made it really clear glazing that's what it means glad you guys are all updated
back to the lots of hug and bear
cause that's where we started here
put the fucking fanny pack away
what's in there what'd you put in there
it's just packed
imagine you put something fun in
it's just packed with critters
imagine you filled it with beetles
for him
anyway
going to the streamer and how it ties into that,
or creator or podcaster,
it's that you'll have people who like watching you,
and then they'll eventually graduate and move on
if you zip it one more fucking time, Aiden.
If you zip it one more time, I'm taking the gift back.
This is why we talk to you like this.
It's because you make it hard for us to talk to each other with your toys.
I'm going to take it back from you. And so you
get one class and they grow up.
Don't fucking look at me.
You're glazing.
And that means... Amen.
Amen. Do it. Amen. And that means
when one man rubs semen-covered member about
his partner's face, that creates the effect of semen
glaze.
I think Eminem said that
that's an awfully hot coffee pot that's an awfully gay glazed not gazed i'm sorry guys
anyway i really butchered that one so they'll grow up and then maybe they'll graduate aka stop
watching you but there will be a new class that starts watching you and i think what people really
enjoy is the time of
their life when they might've been enjoying content, whether they got through something
like binge watching or whether they were just in a good point in their life. And they usually
correlate that point in their life with whatever they watched. And so they're mad that the content
changed and maybe it did, but then they also changed and they wish they liked it as much as
they used to. And they just don't. And that's fine's fine but i think it's it's hard to deal with um and or or maybe it's fine it's a lot to come to a
as a conclusion yourself right and it's easier to be like damn this guy used to watch is like
it's so much different now and it's like no well the world's different now and what you just need
to do is recognize there's a new class coming.
Get ready for the new class.
And hopefully the old class likes it.
But if they don't, that's okay.
I'd be interested to see the amount of people,
people who stop watching the show.
Like what amount, like ignoring the people who just like stop because they fucking stop
listening to podcasts in general or something.
Like what percentage of people stop watching
because they still like the episodes
that got them into the show, watching because they still like the episodes they
that got them into the show but they don't like the new ones yeah and what percentage of them
even if we went back to the beginning ones like maybe they don't hate it or anything but they're
like i don't find it as funny anymore like as i did when i first found it i feel like it's probably
usually that or or maybe you hop off the train at some point and it's usually hard to hop back on
maybe tell yourself you'll catch up i feel like most people are like using content or like things to fill some sort of hole in their
life like content wise and then that hole gets filled by something else and then you don't need
that thing anymore you know we fill holes we do fill holes and holes can sometimes be like i have
a 45 minute commute yes and then the commute disappears and there's no more hole anymore
yeah or you find another podcast
and you only have 45 minutes. You can't listen to both now
so you just pick one. Or you start listening to music
audiobook or you stop doing
shit at all. Yeah, there's a bunch of reasons.
I think the number one reason
why I stop watching certain people
is I exhaust
their content in my own head.
Why do you stop watching Ludwig on YouTube, man?
I watch Ludwig more now.
Why did you stop watching him?
I never see him.
Why did you stop watching him, man?
I didn't stop watching you.
Lie.
You don't watch Mogul Mail as much anymore.
Mogul Mail doesn't count either.
Mogul Mail doesn't count?
It's not Ludwig.
That's Mogul Mail.
Yeah, that is a different guy.
Why did you stop watching him, man?
What'd I do to you?
Come back.
I never watched that much.
Whoa!
I will say, my relationship with your YouTube channel is a unique experience.
I literally check on it to see what you've been doing because you're my friend and my boss.
Shout out Eamon.
All right?
Eamon is a day one.
Shout out Eamon. Eamon is day one. Eamon is a day one. Shout out Eamon.
Eamon is day one.
Eamon's buying the merch.
The only McKay out here fucking working.
Yes, sir.
Eamon's buying this shit when he can text me.
He can text his big bro.
Yeah.
The thing about Eamon is he's rolling in it.
Okay.
Yeah, he's got that Fortnite bread.
Yeah.
He doesn't need your fucking pity.
He did have that Fortnite bread.
Do you know what would be so sick if we replaced Aiden with his little brother one episode.
Yo.
I think I want that.
I think I want that.
Aiden's little brother, your sister.
Any bald human alive, my sister.
Northern lion and one of Nick's siblings.
My brother, actually.
That'd be really funny.
Oh, that would be a mess.
That'd be great.
That'd be like the Yarb.
And just, it's by themselves.
Like they don't know each other at all.
Yeah, they just get to know each other. Just sit in they don't know each other at all it would be terrible i think the realistic one is you swap out someone and you say nothing about it
and it's someone somewhat similar so like e-men for amen and we say nothing but we treat them
like amen the whole i think it's hard because i couldn't be as mean to aiden's little brother
i'd be meaner why because he's a you gotta I'd be meaner. Why? Because he's a glazed boy.
He was the first glazed child.
He made it out of the glazing case.
He's the one who broke the glazing.
My parents offered him up and he got drawn.
It's like Hunger Games, but one child from every district gets glazed.
Not sexual version.
What do you want, man?
Talking about glazing kids is weird, you know?
I don't think we should do it.
He gets there.
He finds the conclusion. I like the idea.
Okay, I will say this.
I'm in my nice arc these days, and I like the idea of...
I am.
What did he do this on ice?
What did he do this on ice this week?
Go.
What did I do?
Go.
Go hit him.
Hit him with it.
I've been really nice.
Hit him with it.
Also, I'm always nice to you
guys or is nice i'm consistently nice to you guys whatever that level is i was just kidding you know
i was thinking about recently actually and i'll cut you off is that i've gotten meaner since you've
gotten nicer talking i've been bored you've been bored yeah and that's what happened he also he he
had the he had the duty in the old house of fulfilling like bringing balance to the yeah
to the force within the home
because you would come out swinging sometimes and I'm like
oh damn oh yeah I was
way nicer to Aiden than I would have
liked to been over the past three years
because of how mean you were
you know what's actually changed since moving out
you're just all mean to me now
wait no
that's not true
it's crazy because no one asked.
It's the same thing ever.
And Brett understands.
Yeah.
Brett is racist.
Brett understands.
He's racist.
Brett understands.
Brett understands your take about Ukraine.
Yeah.
You guys are on the same page there.
Oh, my take.
Interpret the literature with all the context.
I love the North Shore pipeline.
No, I don't even know what it's called.
That's what they call it when I visit your mom
North Shore Pipe
when I show up to your house
it's just like Nord Stream 2
anyway
you used to be so mean to him
out the gates all the time
I always had a good reason
let him speak
I'm going to say my thought
maybe you had a reason to be upset but the way you would
vocalize your anger was oftentimes exaggeratively mean and i think a great example of this is maybe
super smash brothers melee that doesn't count well why do we but i will concede that i wasn't
nice when we would play melee i would overhear it sometimes and i'd go to aid and i'd be like
I wasn't nice when we would play melee.
I would overhear it sometimes, and I'd go to Aiden,
and I'd be like, hey, man, how was your day?
How are you doing, champ?
Just to like... I'm like, you want to get coffee, Aiden?
You want to hang out?
Here's the thing about Saim getting angry.
Yeah, defend me, because right now,
the haters are even more mad at me right now,
and I'm trying to be the darling.
One, it's been better for a long time better it's been better for a long time it's been better
for a long time two i have recognized that and rationalized through the the recognition of the
hypocrisy at at that is almost absurd sometimes that i just don't need to argue like the thing
about me not reading the book i can think of the last two gifts i've
given you that have also just sat around which the marlboro jacket sat in you left it at the house
after shooting the podcast and it just sat there it might still be there no it's in my closet i
know exactly where it is it was there for like weeks and i was just like it's okay because like
he'll probably pick it up eventually give me the me the second one. Oh, you got it for me.
And I genuinely, I was just like, I don't, I think in all the places that it was ever
actually a problem, you've just, you've fixed it.
Was it a problem in Melee?
Was it a problem in Melee?
No.
And that's why he's my GOAT.
By the way, round one.
That's why he's my GOAT.
I'm doing the seeding.
After Melee tournament this weekend. You're seeding? Yep. Round one. No's why he's my gun doing the seeding
Yep around all Nick way asked me to seed yeah, what Nick Wang asked me to see wait wait
Was you
So every every so yeah, it opens this book
Also agree me and Aiden I think are in the same wavelength
where like
gifts don't really
mean a lot to us
like in general
like we're not gift guys
so it's like
getting it was like
whatever
and I think we both
recognize that
for each other
and so like
we're not gonna get
like I joke about the book
but I like
actually
I think I like
I love the sentiment
of gifts
so what I like about
that gift
is that
it's a book
that is about a topic that I like.
And I'm fucking, my brain is this destroyed lump of a mess that is unable to focus on anything but fucking Valorant right now.
One day you might pick it up and I'm fucking going to read it.
And that's cool.
Yeah.
So we're good.
Your smear campaign against me?
Failed.
Not effective.
Um, oh shit. Give me something else. against me? Failed. Not effective. Um, oh, shit.
Give me something else.
Give me...
Oh, fuck.
The ears are up.
You know what I'm saying?
Jesus Christ.
Oh, God.
He's hard.
What are you supposed to do?
You gotta wrecked.
What is that?
That's blue.
That was blue?
Yeah.
That was my blue.
What's your blue?
Do your blue.
I don't know how to do blue.
Yeah.
So, why are you judging my blue?
You don't know how to do blue. Yikes. This is what happens when I'm less hostile. You guys fucking-
Oh, that's what I was saying.
Cause normally when I get like a like a fucking idiot fan tweeting at me or something, fans aren't idiots
but when they are idiots, it's annoying and
I don't ever say I just ignore them all the time. That's what I do now. But now that you're ignoring them
I'm like, I wanna tweet back Wow I'm like someone's gotta
Cause I know you might
Wow
If I just ignore them
Like slime might do it
This was before I got
Fucking banned off Twitter
Cause like someone
Fucking replied to me recently
I don't know what they said
But I remember
I remember I replied
And I'm like
Explain why it's funny
Explain why what you said
Is funny
And then they were like
Oh it's not sorry
And I'm like
Slime where are you
I needed it
Wow
I'm slime pilled I seem to have held Things together The little gremlin Has crawled Where are you? Wow
Things together little gremlin has has crawled out of your brain for the first time in like ten fucking years And he's he's slowly taking turns
Gaming you know it's like I got you something
What I do when people critique the Valorant format
I knew and I cuz I know riots's what I do. When people critique the Valorant format, I knew,
because I know Riot's listening,
and I can't crack down that hard,
but when somebody says something stupid,
when somebody says something stupid on Reddit,
I'm like,
you think I didn't fucking think of that?
You fucking idiot.
You sit in your room all goddamn day,
and you've done nothing with your life.
You type your fucking comment
about this Valorant tournament.
Well, that's how I feel inside.
That's their right.
I think people like feeling superior, and if you're able to make something
that makes them feel that way you've done something good i like embarrassing them i like
embarrassing those people because i think what people are really good at is like seeing something
that's already been created and then with no thought of the logistics of putting it into
action as if they were a genie that could wave a wand going you know what i'd change this it'd be better and that's it because
they're not conceiving an idea they're just modifying an existing idea with one change
that would make their their lives better yeah and i think that's fine like let them let them
run you're also fine pilled which i i am like i think this all started when dead ass when i
streamed with you or when i I played Valorant with you.
And I was like, oh, I can just calibrate my brain to expect what a chat or I am supposed to be interpreted as and be okay with it.
And then I started thinking more and more.
And then I had this thing, it was last week.
I was like, people were at each other's throats in the subreddit and like in my like replies about like talking to each other, not even at me.
And I'm like, these people, it's really likely that they think that this is fucking cool, probably because I'm this way.
And I'm like, that sucks so much.
Like, I'm just embarrassed that this is happening in like in my kind of like zone.
I was laughing because i was just imagining i imagined you in the incredibles but in the incredibles you were a hater and then you had made more haters in
like an army and then i made me laugh yeah that's it but the thing is i'm like no you guys aren't
like you guys no i wanted to hate alone shut up i didn't want to hate alone it's like i'm not
no one's better than me you're not better than anyone else but i was just like well this is
embarrassing so i want to calibrate myself to be someone that's like i'm not no one's better than me you're not better than anyone else but i was just like well this is embarrassing so i want to calibrate myself to be someone that's
like i don't know someone in my reprise put it a good way it's like make kids like eager to grow
up you know what i mean you and i don't think i've done that would love puss in boots too
do you have this message in there do you really yeah because so So puss. What is puss? He's telling people to kill themselves online.
Yeah. And then he finds these boots.
Yeah.
And then what happens after puss? Number two.
The boots make them
happier. I'm not
happier or sadder. I want that
to be clear. Puss in phones. This only
has to do. Puss it off.
I feel the exact same way that
I did last week. But I just I'm choosing the
way I express myself differently so people who are impressionable and no matter how much I say
don't fucking I I think that you're cringe if you do this uh if you do uh we'll still do it anyway
that I'm just trying to avoid we're also making a team pact for everybody listening we have stopped the usage of the phrase kill
yourself who's we me effective you see it all the time there's a counter and it's not me on the top
on the leaderboard oh i mean like yeah it's you yeah put up fucking big points you don't put up
big points for that or in valorant against god goddamn Terracon Critter, right? I do like getting him
for that.
Yes, sir.
And I'd be putting up
points for both.
Sorry.
I'll play Smokes.
He was playing Smokes.
I'm on top with Cypher, bro.
That's because you're
a better player.
Let's not say on top, right?
For one game, I think.
No.
No, it was Shroud.
I made the top five.
There you go.
I made the top five.
Come on.
I think I was six. I swear to God, I was six. I bet made the top five, though. There you go. I made the top five. Come on, top five. Come on. I think I was six.
I swear to God, I was six.
I bet.
The graphic doesn't go that low.
That's my new slime mark.
It doesn't go low.
I bet, but it doesn't go low.
That's my new slime mark.
I have been worn down, and I'm like, you know what?
Like, fuck.
Just, it's not, it's nobody's fault but my own.
I'm not trying to, like, blame anybody.
So, new slime. I'm just trying to blame anyone. So new slime.
I'm just less...
My teeth are blunted.
No, get mad.
No.
Get angry.
Do the thing.
The question is will I still be funny?
And that is my challenge.
I was in my car.
I was watching Good Neighbor.
I was just sitting in my car somewhere watching Good Neighbor on my phone it was like all still really funny and i
was like what makes this still funny compared to a lot of other stuff in that same era that was
funny when i saw it and now just totally isn't yeah we watched kyle the other day together and
we were like damn like it just still hits and i was like what makes this funny still and i've
been thinking a lot about that because i was going back to the first conversation about the show and people moving on, I think
that I don't care if people stop listening and blah, blah, blah.
I only care that like I can look back on it and it's still funny.
Yeah, me too.
I feel like if it's not, it's like too topical and too trended and stuff like that.
And that's what makes it like not grow or not be evergreen.
Yeah, it's hard too, right?
Because like, I think it's hard to like attach something to something that was just a news piece.
Like people aren't going to look back on a mogul male and be like, fuck, these were the days, bro.
Like, I'm sorry, because no one does that with all the dailies.
You know what I'm saying?
I go back and listen to the start of the covid all the time.
Michael Babar was a great art.
Remember back then they used to
say, um, don't wear masks.
Yeah.
Who? Michael? It was the big thing.
Well, it was mostly because there was a mask shortage.
There was a mask shortage. And so they were like,
don't go out and buy masks.
I remember that. And they didn't have data.
It would have been good to wear a mask, but they were like,
it's better to have a mask if you're...
Yeah.
If you're like sick and old and shit.
Or a doctor.
Yeah.
Or a dog.
I don't think dogs...
We should mask dogs.
Yeah.
We do.
They're called dog COVID.
What if they started COVID?
It's called a muzzle.
What if dogs started COVID?
Yeah.
Have they considered that?
I don't think...
I think we're the first person to think...
What if it was dogs in lab coats?
We would have. because white women
would be eradicated from Earth.
All white women
would have been
slowly killed off.
Killed from the pussy up.
Those white women.
It was fucking horrible.
Oh, man.
We had a lot of fun.
We had a lot of fun
here on this podcast.
I feel like you,
you understand this
at the best. Maybe you both do. Fucking on this podcast. I feel like you understand this.
Maybe you both do.
I don't understand this.
I think you I think the three of us
I think the three of us
have ADHD. I think you do not.
I don't
think you do because you literally
focus so hard on shit
that you cannot fucking literally
interpret other things. That's an ADHD
symptom. Is it? I'm not a doctor.
Here's the thing, bro. Don't self
diagnose. Just go to a doctor.
I did. Well, I went to a doctor
too and I was like, I think I have this. He's like,
okay, we'll start showing Adderall. Yeah, I was
going to say, I don't learn much.
I feel like you go to the doctor and you're like,
I think I have ADHD. They're like, damn, that's crazy. Well, you take't learn much. I feel like you go to the doctor and you're like, I think I have ADHD.
They're like,
damn, that's crazy.
Well, you take the pill then.
Is that it?
I actually have heard that they're pretty lax about it
in America.
My dude wasn't
and I was surprised about that.
Yeah, it's a crapshoot.
Sometimes you get,
like I remember Mike was talking about
the person he was talking to
was like a dick
and like,
because he was just trying
to get an evaluation of like,
you know,
his psychological and stuff
and he was like, yeah, this guy's like an asshole and he's like kind of sending me and i'm like
that's crazy my guy was just like you want an oral that was that was the thing i wasn't even
trying to get medicated either i just wanted some mental like i wanted some health professional to
help me break this down yeah yeah uh yeah i do feel like a lot of people probably just
try to take the main line to getting Adderall,
which is like, I got ADHD.
And then maybe some doctors are bitter for that.
And then you sell it at your middle school.
But some doctors aren't bitter.
And they're like, fuck, yeah, get out the door, bro.
Go and be somebody.
Yeah.
And you got your 20 milligram XRs and you're ready to rock.
So what happened?
Nothing happened?
Did you come or what?
Did they tell you?
Did they tell you?
Wait, you went to the doctor? Yeah. tell you? Did they tell you? Wait.
Wait, you went to the doctor?
Yeah.
I do have ADHD.
I wasn't listening.
Yeah, you were also thinking about me being in the Incredibles when I was younger.
See, and I can't even remember why I brought this shit up, bro!
I was thinking about how funny it would be to put like a, like crush a pill of Adderall
and then like put it in like an Earl Grey.
It just means you're bored.
That's what I was thinking about.
It just means you're bored when we talk.
Which is okay.
No, it just doesn't mean I'm bored.
It means I was trying to think of something for fun.
But you, like, spam and exhaust the content that has your attention.
You suck as much of it in as possible in, like, a relatively short time frame.
Yeah, that is you.
And then the content does not change, but you consume so much of it that the beats of the content
or, like, of the content creator become so similar, no that the beats of the content or like of the content creator
becomes so similar no matter the topic they're approaching that it no longer gives you the
satisfaction or like the fucking dopamine that makes watching the content satisfying
anymore.
So you have to move on to something.
Or you can take a tea break.
Remember the old the bidets at BTS?
I don't know if you got it.
Yeah, the bidets at BTS? I don't know if you guys... He's white. Yeah, the bidets at BTS are so fucking strong.
Yeah, they have levels one through five.
And look, at home, I'm a five user.
At BTS...
You take a tea break.
Going past two is tough because it opens the butthole up.
Yeah.
And so I remember I was rocking full force on those BTS bidets.
That's cool.
I know.
And I was like, you know what?
I should take a tea break from these.
And so I would just use it at a way lower should take a tea break from these. And so,
like,
I would just use it
at a way lower level
tolerance break.
And so,
and so then when I came back
to a five,
I was like,
ooh,
it's like the first time again,
baby.
I thought it meant like
take a break
and drink some tea.
But instead of bidets
and washing my ass,
it's Wendover Productions video.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean,
if you,
if you,
I also
Sam sweet again
Sam sweet in my ears again
I do sometimes like forgetting
about a content creator and then coming back
and they've made a bunch of new shit yeah
and you're like fuck yeah yeah yeah
Cody go so that's another thing
that happens to a lot of people is that like for the pod
they might catch up on all the episodes and then
they're fully caught up and then they have to like wait one every week and
they're like, well, I don't like doing that.
And so then they'll disappear and then they'll come back six months later and they'll be
like, new batch of episodes and they'll binge.
There's some bingers in the world.
People like binging.
There's definitely binges.
I think there's a lot of addictive personalities.
Yeah.
I think we also kind of encourage that as like content, right?
YouTube's job and all this shit is to keep you on the platform forever and ever and ever
and ever and ever and ever. I'm addicted to personalities.
You're addicted to personalities?
I think women are beautiful inside.
You know what I'm addicted to?
The premium.
What about the premium
yard episode from the Patreon?
That's right. Our juicy, juicy,
sweet, juicy premium. And if you want to watch
me defend Logan Paul,
then you could
watch it. Come on, bro. This is our fire. We have one fire pit. There's a fire. Sweet juicy can you watch me defend Logan Paul then you could
Then you could watch it come on, bro. What you grow this is our fire. We have one fire pit. There's a fire Oh, yeah, you're right. It's in great shape guys. We've been taking your side, huh?
Look at your side true. It's a great shape your side looks like this side
This is actually representative all of our penises. This is like nice and cut
of our penises. This is like nice and cut.
This is like a
rich one.
That's all droopy. We'll see you later.
Thanks for watching. Bye everyone.
Why is it droopy? You got a droopy
penis.