This Paranormal Life - #085 Halloween Special feat. Daniel Krupa - Fortune Telling

Episode Date: October 31, 2018

It’s our Halloween special! We have special guest Daniel Krupa (IGN & Prepare To Try) joining us on the podcast to investigate fortune telling from beyond the grave, and we might even perform a ...live fortune telling…Happy Halloween, everyone!Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Welcome to a very special Halloween episode of This Paranormal Life! Hey, welcome back. It's Tuesday once again. You're listening to This Paranormal Life, and it is a very special Halloween edition. So if you're listening to this on anything other than Wednesday, 31st of October, 2018, back off! Either go forward in time or backwards in time. This is for Halloween only today. You are joined by myself Mr. Kit Greer professional paranormal investigator as usual. Mr. Rory pars me. That was it great I'm excited and as a very special Halloween edition guest Mr. Dan Kripa. Hello. I don't really have a spooky voice. It's just regionally muddled
Starting point is 00:00:44 I think your voice is probably the spookiest Dan Kripa. Hello. I don't really have a spooky voice. It's just regionally muddled. I think your voice is probably the spookiest. I don't know if that's a compliment. Of all of us. Is it? Well, in like a sexy ghost way. No, you mean it's like from the middle of f***ing nowhere. It could go one of two ways.
Starting point is 00:00:59 I might eat in you or I'm f***ing you. Your competition is someone with a Northern Irish accent or the voice of a cartoon mouse. So I think you're going to take gold for that. Also, we add a lot of sound effects. I thought you did them live. I thought you were doing these all live. Powers has got this massive soundboard in front of him. It looks like he works at NASA.
Starting point is 00:01:20 That's right. Many of you will know Dan already. We're very excited to have him on the podcast. But as always, there's no time for introductions. We just have to dive right in. Exactly. You know, most podcasts would tell you a little bit about the guests, what they do, where they come from. But f*** the rules. We're about the ghouls. And we're diving in this week to a paranormal tale. And you say you don't prep. I came up with that last Christmas. I knew I had to wait.
Starting point is 00:01:45 I saw you pouring over rhyming the word ghouls all day. Ghouls. Diving right in. Kusplush. It's All Hallows' Eve. As the days have become shorter, the darkness of winter encroaches, and the planets have reached a cosmic alignment. This is something ancient humans knew for thousands of years.
Starting point is 00:02:04 A time when, for a brief moment, the separation between the spirit world and our world becomes very thin. Entire other planes of existence become accessible. But unfortunately, it's mostly a one-way street. We can't exactly journey Disney's Coco style to the land of the dead, although that would make tremendous podcasting. But beings on the other side can contact us. It's the late 1600s in what today is Northern Ireland. Oh, okay. A tale close to home.
Starting point is 00:02:35 Halloween's very Celtic. Is it? Yeah, in origin. This is one of the reasons I wanted to get you on the podcast is because you know quite a lot about, probably more about Halloween than I know. You're like an enthusiast. I'm alloween enthusiast i'm not sure but an enthusiast nevertheless um yeah sam hayne is the kind of celtic precursor to halloween which is a christian festival and and you're right it is like isle of man ireland scotland everyone else can f*** off basically the spirit world is at its most perme. It's like at the separation where you tear off a new bin bag.
Starting point is 00:03:06 Yeah. That's Ireland. Yes, Northern Ireland. And two children, both orphaned at an early age, have been taken into care by a guardian for the first time. The same guardian, in fact. The children's names are John and Nicola. How old are the children?
Starting point is 00:03:25 Say, like, six like six like pretty young. All right, it's pretty early on to not know these little details I don't want to nitpick the story But just yeah this Guardian was extremely religious and right away tried to impart that on the kids Right and wrong heaven and hell God and the devil and like all little kids They accepted it, understood it, and that became their entire world. They saw everything through the lens of religion. And like all good kids, they grew up over the years.
Starting point is 00:03:52 You're saying bad kids don't? Yeah, they kind of stay the same. That's what I saw, at least. You turn it into something kind of poetic, like, oh, bad kids never grow up. No, I mean literally, in our primary school. Like Vivian Peer Pan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:05 You shouldn't be going into kids' room you fully grown Peter. It's fine. I never grow up. Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it. Let them have their childhood.
Starting point is 00:04:13 He's like a little overweight at this point. Got a little stache. Yeah. Little Peter stache. Peter, your tights are soiled. It's quite obvious to everyone else in this room.
Starting point is 00:04:21 He's like, jump out the window, kids. You can fly. Just sprinkle some of this on you. Oh, is that magic powder? It's angel dust. obvious to everyone else in this room he's like jump out the window kids you can fly just sprinkle some of this on you oh is that magic it's angel dust it's just cocaine follow me straight into a car sadly when they when they grew up a little bit more their highly religious guardian died suddenly now in their early teens they went into the care of a different new guardian. Only problem was, this person was a hardcore atheist and had no tolerance for religion at all, and they
Starting point is 00:04:52 tried to shake the kids loose of their Christian upbringing. But it was all they had ever known, and they weren't about to give in. Young John and Nicola made a pact. They made a pact that whoever died first would visit the other from beyond the grave to come and tell them once and for all who was right, which religion was true, and how to please whatever supreme being was out there. That's quite a cool idea.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah, it's pretty badass. I guess that's a good indication of that there is a heaven, at least, you can come back. Although but can you come back from heaven oh isn't it ghosts is that a one-way junction do you think so well angels visit right and they live in i hope they live in heaven are they ghosts though my god there's so many questions it's like we are not equipped to answer is an angel no wonder we still haven't got to the bottom of all this no isn't that yeah although they do call they do talk about the holy ghost
Starting point is 00:05:50 in like catholicism holy ghost can do whatever it wants yeah it's got a bye but yeah that's a good question like you go to heaven it's supposed to be the never-ending paradise but what if you're like one afterlife goal is to go immediately back to earth yeah usually the thing with ghosts is like you you stay as a ghost like one way of like explaining ghosts is like it's like souls that have unfinished business yeah so whether it's like to write a wrong revenge whatever to communicate something and then once that's fulfilled sometimes like in some fiction the ghost not this fiction and the ghost disappears yeah but i don't know how that like gels with like religious stuff that's a good question come on john and nicola yeah well maybe that's it they made a satanic
Starting point is 00:06:36 pact wrong direction that they had that they had to fulfill before they could go to heaven terrible idea let's prove to him that God is real by showing him the devil. The other side of the coin. Just to get this correct. Yeah. If the atheist side is real. Right. Like the correct, like.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I was hoping you wouldn't bring this up. The schema of looking at the world. Yeah. Is he just expecting, he or she expecting just nothing? I guess, i guess that makes sense yeah yeah and then yeah so if he comes back as long as he isn't like you know got like a ball and chain around his leg or something or like devil horns i've also got another big question but i'm gonna save this one for the end because i think you might just blow it up okay okay please
Starting point is 00:07:21 do i'm gonna cut that i cannot take the least amount of interrogation on this. Please. It just hard cuts to, Welcome back to Rory and Kit's Halloween special. To recap, Satanic Pact. They're going to come back. Whichever one dies first is going to come back.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Tell the other what's up. Well, years passed. Nicola married and became Lady Beersford. And John married too and became Lord Tyrone. Cooler. Well done. Two orphans really making their way in the world today. That was like a Get Rich or Die Tryin' story. It's probably because you said Beersford. Being basically family, they stayed in touch over the years. They would hang out as two families together, spending as much time together as they could. One morning, Lady Beersford was at the breakfast table and her husband, Sir Tristam, looked at his wife's arm
Starting point is 00:08:08 and she had this little black band wrapped around it. What's that for, dear? What's going on? She goes, oh, don't worry about that. And instead, she changed the subject. She said, where's your next post of work going to be? And just asking question after question, you know, and he's going, why? What does it matter? But she looked so
Starting point is 00:08:25 worried he was he was curious and he said what's wrong and you know her face sinks and she goes it's lord tyrone something's wrong he's dead i know it oh and when the post arrived the following day indeed lord tyrone had died on Tuesday past. How did she know? Did someone tell her? How is that even possible that that news got her before the post? Not only that, in the coming days, she turned to Sir Tristan and said, I'm pregnant.
Starting point is 00:08:56 I can feel it. I know I am. And it's going to be a boy. She was really sure about these kind of curious things. She had this strong intuition. And, you know, whatever. Nine months later. I don't know how long it takes. Nine months later, she, like, really sure about these kind of curious things. She had this strong intuition. And, you know, whatever. Nine months later. I don't know how long it takes.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Nine months later, she's like, I think I'm definitely pregnant. And that also... Oh, you son of a... That wasn't me. Was that me? Yeah. Oh, that was me, yeah. Through your jeans you put on me. Well done.
Starting point is 00:09:19 Yeah, just... What? Either that or masturbated. I don't know which one it was. That's all it takes. Flicking the knob. Fl of the knob flick of the knob through the jeans to be fair
Starting point is 00:09:29 I'm doing it all day at work I should have made that good joke because now this has to stay I can't stop HR pulls me in Rory listen we were looking at the CCTV I was putting it on mute okay
Starting point is 00:09:47 i thought this might come up that's what i call it i was silencing the call let's put on mute i think you know husband's dead she made that call sorry not her brother sorry brother's dead she made that call yeah baby's coming she made that Yep. It is time to get this girl in a room and talk football. That's what I'm saying. NBA predictions too. Exactly. That would be great. We're talking Super Bowl.
Starting point is 00:10:12 You can get the sweep. I know what you're thinking. Tom Travis. You could get all the offsets, offsets, all the big scores. All the big sports in 16th century Northern Ireland. Yeah. I don't know if there was like a big fantasy football thing going. Was there some competitive tournament where you just spank that hoop with a stick?
Starting point is 00:10:36 Excuse me? Celtic hoop spanking? Yes, that's the one, yeah. I meant that in the least sexual way possible. You know the little stick smacking... Put it on mute. You know the one that... These were sinful times, guys. They didn't have Game Boys.
Starting point is 00:10:53 They didn't have Nintendo Switches. They had a hoop and they whacked it with a stick. Yeah, you still got to be way more specific. Hoop stick. Oh. Hoop stick. Stick hoop. Do you really not know what I'm talking about?
Starting point is 00:11:06 No. Let me Google a picture for you. It's actually your phone background. hoop stick stick hoop do you really not know what I'm talking about no let me let me google a picture it's actually your phone's background you don't even need to google it that's insane hoop man
Starting point is 00:11:13 I'm googling hoop stick and I hope something comes up hell there you go okay well they've just got a stick and a hoop I don't know what the game is hoop stick
Starting point is 00:11:20 you can't just point at it and say the words again well I can't look up a gif they didn't have gifs in the olden days okay look so the the hoop would go along the floor and you basically beat it with a stick to keep it to keep it rolling okay so it's kind of like when you roll like a penny you give it that you know momentum and it rolls along and you're kind but you're keeping it going with the stick you're smacking it yeah and then someone invented football and
Starting point is 00:11:41 they're like that's way better yeah way i'm better yeah way more into this guys got an xbox but even after all all the joy of um bringing this little boy into the world sadly four years later her husband sir tristam died she retreated into herself leading a pretty solitary existence from then on that is until she met the local clergyman's son you he saw her about time he started pursuing her romantically courting her whatever they did back in the day inviting her to games of hoopstick that kind of course i've got front row seats baby my lady do you spank the hoop and she's like get out i will have you killed i'm a lady but haunted by her past she resisted something had changed in her since her husband's death she just wasn't
Starting point is 00:12:25 interested but you know maybe a year or two later she had to change her heart and and she kind of reciprocated um these feelings to the young man and eventually they got married that was fast yeah i know it's a lot to get through okay you said a couple years didn't you yeah i think that's okay all right yeah i guess people live not as long back then. Got to fit all in. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Days were months to then.
Starting point is 00:12:48 You got to just do it all. Everyone was four foot three because of malnutrition. They lived to the ripe age of 18. Yeah. You just got to go for it. You're like a fruit fly. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Just fit in. The kids are like seven years old and their moms are like, you're wasting your life playing hoopstick. You should be married by now. You should be a banker by now. The day you get acne is the day that...
Starting point is 00:13:08 You die. That's like the plague. They think that's what's causing all the death. Yeah, John just got his first blackhead. That's the end of him. He got his first boner. That's his name. Once he puts it on mute, he's dead.
Starting point is 00:13:25 You got about 24 hours to have sex and then you're gone. That's a brilliant series of 24. I like having three people on the podcast. Adding a dirty, inappropriate layer to the podcast. Hello, I'm a fantastic uncle. Her and the clergyman's son, they had a turbulent relationship, but eventually she bore another child.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Shortly after this was her birthday. On the day, the local clergyman, her own father-in-law, I suppose, came to visit. She said, oh, how good to see you. Don't you know it's my 48th birthday? Aren't you going to join me to celebrate? But the clergyman,
Starting point is 00:14:04 having known her mother before she was orphaned knew lady beersford's age better than even she did because she didn't you know she didn't have the family around in those early days it was kind of early records this is a messy story i didn't say bad it's just there's a lot going on there's a lot there's a lot of loose threads i willcede, but they will be tied together imminently. Okay. And he said, I know it's your birthday, but you're 47, not 48. Her face dropped. She looked at him and said,
Starting point is 00:14:35 You have signed my death warrant today. I have not long to live. You must leave me immediately, as I have some things of importance to settle before i die oh my god once left alone she called her sons and her closest friends to join her she had something to tell them she said years ago before her husband died lord tyrone her brother appeared to her in the night he was sitting at the edge of her bed but in like a ghostly way and he said what is it so just like floating yes okay go spit up again it was in a ghostly way his legs were crossed but in the
Starting point is 00:15:12 wrong direction like back up onto himself i know she won't wake up. I said, ooh! Poking her. Ooh! Knocking shit over. Ooh, dumbass! He has to stay on brand. Then she wakes up and he goes, he has to hustle back to the bottom of the bed. I look really confused. Ah, you've awakened.
Starting point is 00:15:39 He said, I'm dead. That'll do it. Straight to the punch. I bloody well know you are. You can oppose. I saw your funeral, mate. Yeah, you do. Look at the pose. I saw your funeral, mate. I'm dead, but I remembered our pact and I've come back to see you. He said, first of all, keep doing what you're doing. God likes religion.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Keep doing that. Don't do the atheist thing. Definitely not. I love that it's like an annual review. Keep doing what you're doing. It's great. Fantastic. Like, there's actually not enough budget for paying Christmas this year.
Starting point is 00:16:05 But he also told her stuff from the future. He said, you're going to have a son. But four years later, your husband will die. You will marry again and bear another son. But you will die in your 47th year. She sat there, not moving. Didn't know what to do. He tried to convince her that this was
Starting point is 00:16:26 real. It wasn't just a dream. He tried writing something down. He threw stuff around the room, but she just wouldn't move. So he leaned over and grabbed her wrist with his ghostly mitts, and immediately the skin on her wrist withered and the veins turned gray. It was real, and ever since that day day she wore a black band around her wrist to hide the scars okay thoughts it's interesting it's very spooky so so the guy who told her she was 48 didn't really kill her no she was going to no no no in fact he actually probably did her a favor she thought she got past it that's it i think that's why she was happy she just turned 48 but she was actually 40 i think she was like oh it was all bullshit because i haven't died he said i'd die when i
Starting point is 00:17:13 was 47 yeah but then he was like you're actually still you know you've just turned you've got to 47th year so it still happened oh okay so she's not gonna be happy about that is she yeah it's gonna be pretty piss she could live another year yeah she doesn't know, okay. So she's not going to be happy about that, is she? Yeah. She's going to be pretty pissed. She could live another year. Yeah. She doesn't know at that point. Yeah. She's got a max of 365 days left. Made the most of it.
Starting point is 00:17:31 Yeah, that's what I would do. YOLO. Don't like the idea of a ghost touching you. Like, withers your hand. I thought that would... I wonder if the brother knew that before he did it. Yeah. Seems a bit of a mean sibling thing.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Or was it like a... It's like the afterlife sibling equivalent of a chinese burn yeah i want to give you a withered arm for the rest of your life to be fair how was really hard could he have known no he might not that's true that's the thing like um one of my favorite uh movies beetlejuice when you die you get the handbook for the recently deceased which is a guidebook for like new ghosts which i think is really useful because it's like you know there's a lot of stuff to navigate yeah like it feels like he hasn't been primed it was like from a time before that they didn't have all the courses yeah well you know when you're a baby
Starting point is 00:18:14 growing up to be a human and a live human yeah you know you got 12 years to work out how to do that and parents and parents 12 years before you were dropped off in the middle of the wilderness you don't need your diaper anymore uh but yeah when you die and become a ghost you're thrown in the deep end here you've got your ghost powers but you don't know what they are you're floating all that's why that's why in biology they assign you like a caseworker that's smart orientate you in the afterlife so he might not have known but he knew how to get back to her yeah yeah maybe he in his head he was like oh take my hand and I'll show you the visions of your death. He just touches her and it's like, like burns her hand away.
Starting point is 00:18:50 He's like, I didn't know it was going to do that. To be perfectly honest, I didn't know that was going to happen. Yeah. Yeah. It's like in X-Men. What's that character? And she can't touch anyone? Rogue.
Starting point is 00:18:58 And like, you know, she's this lovable character and she's just lonely, but everyone she touches physically dies. It's like it's a metaphor. Almost. Almost's real it's not meta because that would make it fiction if it was a metaphor so lame it's real guys with her birthday there was a sense of disbelief maybe i think that came up whenever her husband died she realized that a lot of the prophecy had come true so then whenever this guy started trying to woo her she was like this the prophecy says i'm getting married again i'm not doing it trying to resist his destiny i was wondering like how long he'd taken like to
Starting point is 00:19:35 keep his promise like like giving her the answer fair play to him because i'd probably forget about in heaven for a little bit i gotta be be like, I will be right back. Honestly, it's banging up here. I don't know if you mean that in a literal sense or a euphemistic sense. Maybe both. I don't know what it's like.
Starting point is 00:19:50 It's wicked in heaven. Can you spank the hoop? You can do whatever you want. Oh, you like spanking the hoop? Got a whole area for that. He's like, over here, we have the golden river. Over here is just like
Starting point is 00:20:01 a sushi go round that never ends. I just sound like he's just full of piss. Just don't come on just stop this all I want make heaven heaven heaven isn't Vegas
Starting point is 00:20:11 in your version of heaven it might be Vegas doesn't have to be so he came back further quickly to keep that promise which is good of him because I feel like
Starting point is 00:20:20 if I died I'd have like a lot on my mind and I'd probably forget that obligation hmm so do we know if this had any impact on her life though did she become more religious because that's kind of what he's proving i guess that the afterlife does exist so therefore kind of christian religion is well that was the point of all of like the reason he came back it is true that is the central point but i i wouldn't be
Starting point is 00:20:45 surprised if she had a complicated relationship with religion after that because like getting burned by a ghost he's yeah he's throwing in a lot of extra content with the whole christianity thing that isn't talked about in the bible prophecies this is your husband dying this is the curveball question i was going to throw in Just because you're an atheist Doesn't necessarily mean ghosts don't exist That's a good point, well presented Because an atheist believes
Starting point is 00:21:13 There isn't like an overarching Like deity or creator But a ghost could still exist I guess, like if you're an atheist Maybe ghosts are like the food in Hook You can only see it if you believe in it i always they look like poster paint but i still wanted to look like colorful mashed potatoes i really liked it as well so what lady beersford experienced was a type of fortune
Starting point is 00:21:37 telling and it was done through the medium of spirits in the beyond. But there are a lot of ways of telling the future, including but not limited to Electromancy, Astromancy, Claromancy, Gastromancy, Geomancy, Hydromancy, Lethamancy, Necromancy, Onomancy, Pyromancy, Crystallomancy, Chronomancy, or Taromancy. Ooh. So tarot, for the unfamiliar, is a deck of cards. It's about 80 in total, with various mythological themes on them.
Starting point is 00:22:07 It's believed by some that tarot was initially practiced by the ancient Egyptians. That the cards themselves represented the book of Thoth, written by the Egyptian god himself. It contained the word of the gods, the mysteries of Isis, as well as countless other esoteric systems of mathematics and spiritual laws, all rolled in to a deck of cards. Then, after the fall of the ancient Egyptian civilization, the Romani people wandered
Starting point is 00:22:34 the earth, taking with them the secret knowledge contained in the cards. When they arrived in France and Italy, just to... I'm sorry, have you got a problem? Just sounds like you're talking about Yu-Gi-Oh! This could very easily be the intro to an anime. I know, I know. I was thinking, Italy just to... I'm sorry if you've got a problem. Just sounds like you're talking about Yu-Gi-Oh. This could very easily be the intro to an anime. I was thinking
Starting point is 00:22:49 Magic the Gathering or something like that. All the world's ancient knowledge distilled into these 17 cards. Actually, new expansion. We actually just found some new eternal knowledge. Do you want that? Well, it's like the Lost Gospels or something. Maybe they found them
Starting point is 00:23:06 in a cave somewhere. Who knows? One card was trusted to the Egyptians. Another card brought across the oceans, lost at sea. It's epic. I love it. I'm into this. The Egyptian god Thoth collaborated with the blue eyes white dragon
Starting point is 00:23:21 to create the cards. So whenever these cards arrived in France and Italy just a few hundred years ago it was adopted to a simple card game played in parlors all over Europe hiding in plain sight and spreading in popularity. But the church knew they knew it wasn't Christian and they tried to stamp it out yet it survived to today. So for hundreds and maybe thousands of years these cards have been used to tell the future. And today, we're going to use them to investigate the paranormal.
Starting point is 00:23:50 All right. Behold! Wow. All right, so Kit has actually placed a little wooden box that on the side has runic symbols. And in the middle, am I right to believe that is the Tree of Life? It is a drill. Yeah, I think it's the one from Lord of the Rings, am I right to believe that it's the Tree of Life? Isidro. Yeah, I think it's the one from Lord of the Rings, probably.
Starting point is 00:24:08 These look nice, like runes. They do a bit. No idea what they say. Are these God of War top trunks? They're just like, do not open, stay out. There are actual... It actually says Pandoras. There are actual runes burnt onto the side of this box. Okay, let's take
Starting point is 00:24:24 a little peek at what's going on inside. Your face melts. It was the Ark! Alright, already the packaging is pretty battered. I don't know where you've been taking these. I'm very uncertain about my future. Jesus. And I feel like you're using the cards wrong.
Starting point is 00:24:43 It comes with a little instructions book that has an oriboros on yeah that's not good there's a lot of uh bad vibes i'm getting from these cards you'll see by perusing is this the first deck you've seen roy uh first deck of tarot cards i believe it is yeah cool so yeah i've never seen one in the flesh yeah you'll see they've got elaborate mythological scenes imprinted on them yeah and a bunch of girls with their baps out there's some that's how they yeah he's actually right that's called the star card back in pagan times uh this is my future i hope so look at that one again a couple of naked ladies in the sky i'm just gonna say you're not gonna want to disrespect the cards
Starting point is 00:25:21 because they they will bring down um divine justice so is this going to be one of these things where i'm dealt out and it's like oh you got the sunshine uh heart of joy and uh rainbow that means death sin plagues pretty much yeah so if you want to start by shuffling them okay can i bend them like vegas style yeah so he's he's just disrespecting them at every turn basically all right guys good good shuffle yeah one-eyed jacks deuces are wild place your beds now they're very large cars which makes him doing this very unwieldy yeah fingers are bleeding there bud okay well who wants to go first? I'll do it. Let's get mine out of the way. You sound really pessimistic, actually. I have a...
Starting point is 00:26:09 If a close friend of yours will die and then I do it and he says, you will die. I will not be impressed. It's like you will be murdered and then you will murder. Sweet. Okay, so I'm going to give the cards to you. I'm going to need you to knock on them a couple of times.
Starting point is 00:26:29 That will dispel the energy that I've imparted to them so that this reading will be all about you. All right. So you take them. All right. Treat them with grace. Yes. If you could. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:40 That's a bit heavy. Wake up, you demon bastards. A bit heavy handed. Yeah. So you can set them down in the table all right uh in the center wow come at me yeah so if you want to take the first card and lay it just below the deck face down okay don't look at it face down okay okay there's one now if you can take three more cards not looking looking at them, and just lay them down. So you've got this one here, and then
Starting point is 00:27:05 three more. One, two, three. Below. Right, okay. So what we're going to do is a past, present, and future reading. Alright. Now this card that's at the top, that is going to be the overarching theme of our read today. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:22 So, like, sun? You want, like, sun or smiles? Well, you want it to be good, I guess. I know the thing with some of these is like, isn't it immediately what you think it might be? Like some of the cards are like...
Starting point is 00:27:33 So it's like, oh, sword. Like death and go, oh, death can actually mean like rebirth. The death of something bad. It can also mean you're going to f***ing get killed. Yeah, like flip over the death card.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Some of these have double meanings, though. No, not that one. There's an episode of Bottom where Rick Mayles' character stumbles, they're at a carnival and he stumbles into a tent with his tarot reader. And she turns over the first card and it's death. And he goes, oh, no. He goes, no, no, no. Death in context can mean a new cycle, the end of something.
Starting point is 00:28:04 She turns over a second card, it's death again. He goes, oh, s***. She goes, no, no, no. It might just can mean a new cycle, the end of something. She turns over a second card. It's death again. He goes, oh shit. She goes, no, no, no. It might just mean it's a more intense period of change. She turns over a third one.
Starting point is 00:28:10 It's death. He goes, is that good? He goes, no, there's only meant to be two in the deck. So Rory, if you want to start by flipping over that first card.
Starting point is 00:28:21 My heart is actually racing a little bit. So this is the theme of the read. That's right. Ace of Wands. I'm not going to lie. It looks like a dick. It looks like a hand. Coming out of a fart.
Starting point is 00:28:32 It looks like a... I can't dick fart. Is that a good card? It looks like a Monty Python drawing. It does. It's just the most disrespectful shit I've ever been privy to. So the theme of this is inspiration, power. Oh, hey.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Creation, beginnings, and potential. This sounds great. On the card, a hand reaches out from the clouds as if a spiritual opportunity is being made to grasp a wand that is still flowering, growing, and developing. Leaves float down and signify spiritual progress. In the distance, there is a castle that represents the promise of what opportunities may come so you're saying i gotta grab my wand and head
Starting point is 00:29:11 towards the castle of life potentially that's what it's like that's the overall thing okay okay it's like potential that's a good like motivational thing yeah all right let's go let's go bottom left bottom left okay what is this one in relation to this is your past sir oh god so the card shows two people under some sort of rainbow with uh children nearby great this is the 10 of cups let's see what that has to say oh those are cups that sounds good. That sounds like It's like a rainbow of goblets. This isn't gonna be bad, right? Everyone's having a banging party the 10 of cups Divine love blissful relationships harmony and alignment loving couple stand together arms outstretched as their children play nearby They have a home on the hill and a beautiful rainbow in the sky Hell yeah The couple shares true everlasting love
Starting point is 00:30:07 I don't know if you can be good at these cards But I'm smashing it It's good that it's all behind you now Cool If you want to go ahead and do your present Alright Hello Ace of swords
Starting point is 00:30:21 He's got two aces Now we're talking I got a sword and a f***ing wand. I'm like Harry Potter meets... Luke Skywalker's laser sword. Hello. I guess. Ah, the Ace of Swords.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Raw power. Victory, breakthroughs, and mental clarity. I've had power twice mentioned in my predictions. This is great. The upright sword is symbolic of the mind and intellect. The wreath indicates success and victory and the crown indicating mental clarity. You've got an overall picture of potential, of prosperity, a past of kind of love and happiness, a present of raw power, victory and breakthroughs. So we're kind of on a
Starting point is 00:31:06 absolute roll here. I guess let's just see what the future holds. So far I am just some sort of magical beast slayer. I've got a wand. You've ditched your family. I've got power. I've got power mad. I've got ten golden cups in the sky. I'm going to put a crown on my sword. The future
Starting point is 00:31:21 is bright, my friends. I'm ready to flip this card. let's see it strength it's literally a dude strangling a lion this is rigged man he's strangling a lion and he's got the infinity symbol above his head that means i can never die it's infinite power lads kill whatever i want what's It's infinite power, lads. I can kill whatever I want. What's your destiny? Infinite power? Someone stab me. That's right. The future holds the strength card.
Starting point is 00:31:52 That's courage, persuasion, influence, and compassion. It's going to be big on Instagram. Because the lion is known for its ferociousness, the fact that you've tamed this wild beast and unleashed its calming loving energy means that you can overcome any obstacle oh yes so i don't really know what to say about this um but well done do you feel like this relates to you yes absolutely you know when you came in here kit with your cards about the future you know my first instinct was to call you a nerd and a coward right uh and then you disrespected the cards yeah
Starting point is 00:32:33 time and time again yeah with my wand and my sword but now you're talking about how like courageous i am and i can tame any beast and i've got all these weapons and like a happy family you're starting to make some sense, Malvena, for once. So, uh, hell, I'm ready to believe in the heart of the cards. Glad to have you on board, brother. Will we do another for Daniel? Absolutely.
Starting point is 00:32:55 This is going to go badly, isn't it? I know that they're, you know, open to interpretation, but I think I can't die. Oh, this one means you're going to be punched in the balls. This one means you're impotent. What? Is that an ancient card? Well, it's got a sword on it.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Is that an ancient card? Oh, and this one you're... This one says barren. What the f*** is this about? Here's a picture of you taming the goat. You've got a jacking off card, sweet. It's a little droopy sword. So I'm going to pass you the cards.
Starting point is 00:33:24 You're going to want to knock on them. Okay. As before, to dispel my negative energy, I'm very cursed. Very respectful of the cards. Yeah. Very respectful. It was a tender touch. Not my style, but...
Starting point is 00:33:37 So feel free to place them down, and you can arrange them one by one in the way that Rory did previously. Dan is placing the cards in a four card formation, past, present and future. When you're ready reveal the first card. Okay, okay. This is the theme of the read. It is a man
Starting point is 00:33:58 holding side by side three big sticks or thin emaciated trees with a number three above him. Okay. I'm not going to lie. That looks a bit like a barren forest. Looking away from it.
Starting point is 00:34:11 Yeah, like it's all behind you now. To be fair, there's not much going on in front of you. Hey, mate. Land of opportunity, that. You can't see the castle behind me. The three of wands. A man stands on a cliff with his back turned, looking out over the sea to distant mountains. From this height, he can see all that lies ahead and is aware of all impending challenges and opportunities.
Starting point is 00:34:33 This is about preparation, about foresight, enterprise, and expansion. Nice. Nice. That's good. How relevant. It's like you've got your feet firmly planted on the ground, you know, looking at all that's coming up. See everything clearly, me. Yeah. That's what. How relevant? It's like you've got your feet firmly planted on the ground. You know, looking at all that's coming up. See everything clearly, me.
Starting point is 00:34:48 Yeah. That's what I'm saying. So, go ahead with the other ones. Tell us about your past, Daniel. Ooh, first card. This is my past. This is right way around. Great.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Number one. The magician. He's holding up... He's holding up a two-ended candle. Could be a wand. There's a pentagram on a plate in front of him. A gobbler. That sounds good. Loads of flowers at his feet.
Starting point is 00:35:10 And an infinity symbol above his head. Great. The infinite magician. That sounds good. That's right. The magician's got one hand pointing up towards the universe and one pointing down towards the earth. He's connected to both the spiritual realm and the material realm very um in
Starting point is 00:35:27 keeping with our halloween theme he's using that connection to manifest his goals in the physical realm this is about manifestation about resourcefulness what about the pentagram on the plate i was gonna say perfectly i'm editor. It's all about resource management and also pentagrams. Yeah. It's all of it. Nothing about that. It's a pentagram plate. You've got to eat off something.
Starting point is 00:35:51 I think I've just had a sandwich. Not off the devil's trays. It's not off the devil's. The thing is, though, yeah. It makes the best sandwiches. Pentagram is like... Double eggs as well. You had his eggs.
Starting point is 00:35:59 He just calls them eggs. I think the thing with the pentagram is if you go back far enough it's not the devil i think it's okay yeah oh really he's got a pentagram yeah it's something else he just adopted it like the nazis basically it's actually a peace symbol a tibetan peace symbol yeah why has it got teeth i can't use this anymore uh great well this is all looking great so far uh go right ahead to your present dan temperance so this is a depiction of a angel and she's um pouring what looks like water could be wine from one golden goblet to the other it's passing the time she's got one foot in a little lake in front of her it does look like
Starting point is 00:36:38 she has demon wings though is that relevant angel wings mate they're burning red maybe she dyed them maybe it was a style thing. It was very much the style of the time. Yeah, that was like Rihanna's kind of red hair phase. Everyone was getting involved. The Temperance card shows an angel who's both masculine and feminine. Pours water between
Starting point is 00:36:57 two cups, symbolic of the flow of alchemy and life. You're big into those. Alchemy and life. Straddling divides. The winding path in the background up to a mountain range reflects the journey of life so far. This one's about balance, moderation. It's Blackburn.
Starting point is 00:37:13 Blackburn to London. Patience and purpose. That was a central line. We're getting a pretty down-to-earth read here, I feel like, so far. It's about looking out over what's coming up, building on the balance and successes of the past but having patience in the present moment so what does your future hold boy for the last one's like just mad it's like the predator it is all upside down the world oh shit oh shit things you don't want upside down it's upside down it It's the world. It is. It's a nudie lady holding two wands,
Starting point is 00:37:46 and she's surrounded by a bunch of animals that look vaguely human. There's like a lion that looks like a goat or a bull and an eagle. So apparently the world upside down or reversed, as they say, can indicate delays in your life. It might indicate you want to fulfill a big goal or complete a major project, but you're just not taking the steps necessary to get there. You might be opting for the quickest or easiest path to attain it,
Starting point is 00:38:14 but that's not going to lead to the outcome you want. You might be close to reaching completion of something, but for whatever reason, you're just losing focus and slacking off right at the end. You've got to re-energize, do everything you can to reach your goal. Just push through, see it over the line. See it over. Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Just write the screenplay, Daniel. Bloody hell. Send it to Lloyd Webber for f***'s sake. Have you done dogs? Cats was huge, but do you know how popular dogs are? No? Fine. Cats too? Bloody hell, I think they're real. cats was huge but do you know how many popular how popular dogs are no fine cats too bloody hell i think they're real i know i mean it's so accurate like i know about the four effect yeah but i will go along and just say i think these are real wow those are strong words because
Starting point is 00:39:01 these are bullshit cards i made them just for a kmr those are drawn with crayon can we do uh obviously i don't have the the psychic capabilities of you of course our dungeon master can we you know that wasn't dnd can we draw one card from the deck to determine your whole life, Kit? You know, you can do a single card draw. Sometimes it's used to clarify a reading, but we can certainly do it to see if it's going to bring up any kind of questions or unanswered things. All right, Kit. Wow, I can't believe my future is about to be told.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Draw your card. is about to be told. Draw your card. The page of wands. Upside down. Reversed, yeah. I don't think there's going to be power involved.
Starting point is 00:39:56 I don't think there's going to be power or intellect or those kind of things. Can you describe the card to us? Yeah, the card is a little posh prick. Yeah, like an assistant. Like a page.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Yeah. Little posh prick. Like a little nerd. He looks like a little posh prick. He actually looks like Kit, now that I think about it. He looks like he's from Northern Ireland. Shouldn't have a wand. He looks like he's a dickhead.
Starting point is 00:40:24 He actually does have kind of fair curly hair. Yeah. He's wearing a hat as well. He is actually. He's got your face. He's actually hosting a podcast now that I look at it clearly. It's not even a wand. It's a mic stand.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Well, I'm sure that whenever I look into the details of this, that it is going to say that he's actually a badass, hot as hell, popular as hell, and very paid. Of course. The Page of Wands is a well-dressed young man standing alone in a wilderness. That's you so far. Setbacks, pessimismism and lack of direction. Wow.
Starting point is 00:41:08 It's when you won that extra card now, so really clarify it. The Page of Wands suggests that you've tried a few new ventures or projects but they haven't really worked out. They haven't been successful. Page of Wands depicts someone who's immature with a self-image problem. It could even be someone who's mean-spirited or aggressive. Or someone who's helpless and always the victim. So the cards are real.
Starting point is 00:41:33 They've all been real so far. They're being spot on tonight. This person is superficial, lazy, and arrogant. Uncooperative and impatient. They're really rubbing it in now because they started with just being like oh it's someone who doesn't really know where they are in life they feel lonely maybe they've failed a couple ventures they're also selfish if you're still reading also prick yeah it's like hey come on his scarf's a bit shit as well it's like all right man you
Starting point is 00:41:59 don't need actually i said he was well dressed but he thinks he's well dressed actually that's like a twat um so that you know actually to be fair to the cards that's not even really my future that's just yeah that's just criticizing me openly yeah i think we've all come to the same conclusion these cards i think you know you you know it's a bit of fun and games but um you know real fun and real games no i i you know i think i think the guys played it as a part of the game in France, they were spot on. You know, all this fortune telling. I don't really know about all that.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Tell that to my lion. Okay. Tell that to my wand, bro, and my sword. Yeah. I've got one wand. That is not a wand. I don't feel too great about that. That is a skinny little twig.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Guys, I'm taking you on a bit of a roller coaster with this story set in Ireland of a lady whose prophecy was foretold by her own goddamn brother and much of it came true and then I've attempted here on the podcast live to tell your fortunes also now the problem is we can't be sure whether those will come true but maybe you'll have an idea for whether it is an accurate reading of your own lives but where do both of you come down on this type of fortune telling look you know i i'm not gonna lie i was skeptical when we started i've never done any sort of uh predictions like this before never seen a psychic or anything like that but then all of a sudden you know the
Starting point is 00:43:23 cards are telling me that i'm jacked that i'm handsome i don't think they said that and i got the jacked card no it's giving me cups in the sky it says i'm going to a castle with a castle yeah um it made me feel like a man and i think any type of card game card game that makes me feel like a man. It's this and it's Jim Rummy. Is accurate to me. So I'm into it. Do I know if it's real or not? No, but I'm willing to believe it. So it's probably one of the worst conclusions we've ever had in the podcast.
Starting point is 00:43:58 I mean, you really just took that one to heart and didn't really consider the evidence. Sorry, is the page of wands talking to me right now hey i the king hey is little scarf prick boy trying to talk i want you to basically make your own deck of tarot cards with new names that would be a little prick of scars oh you got that have you oh he's not good i got got the jacked card. What do you think, Daniel? What's your conclusion? I'm quite skeptical about tarot cards and horoscopes in general. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:30 Because they're ambiguous enough that people can identify with different elements of them. You know, like you say, a general statement, people will latch on. It's like, you know, when people go, oh, like, you're a really positive person. But, like, sometimes you have those moments of doubt when you're alone where you think about too much and you think what other people think of you and you go oh yeah that is me and you realize that it's just a universal trait yeah everyone obviously no i can't relate at all oh but i just when i get home i just look at the ear and flex till i go to sleep and it's the same like i'm not even that jacked as well I'm really kind of flabby
Starting point is 00:45:07 just constantly flexing I haven't pooped in days which is the same technique that psychics use you know say general statements people latch onto them so with all that scepticism in mind you know I was really reluctant to do this but seeing my cards I thought it was spot on so yeah probably definitely true
Starting point is 00:45:24 on a real note yeah I feel like you know i sort of started messing around tarot cards a couple of years ago and i feel like everyone i show them to kind of has that like whoa moment of like that actually kind of applies to me and it's definitely hard to draw the line as to what like are those gross generalizations but i think you want to see patterns and you want to make correlations and connections and that's like how human minds work yeah and so you if you see like a thing that is quite abstract you immediately want to make it specific within the context of your life i think that's where that illusion comes from let's say like human lives are complex i probably could have been dealt two completely different cards and i still would have gone whoa that relates to a different thing in my life these are so accurate you know you can kind of make sense from anything you're ambiguous enough that you could graph that onto
Starting point is 00:46:14 any aspects of your life probably yeah i mean that's well not that one actually i've never done that actually that's me at the end of a night out that's just me in a cloak looking over three cups shit that happened last week that is a hangover card if ever i've seen one yeah he has a lot of empty cups if he turned if he turned around you just have sick down his front all the golden cups from my rainbow are just scattered across the floor on that card that's terrifying that's the aftermath tarot as a as a interest, has shifted away from fortune telling towards introspection and self-analysis, for sure. But I think that the way that you relate it to your own life is real. Is the card predicting something in the future?
Starting point is 00:46:55 I don't think so. It's like when you divide them up, like past, present, and future, in a really banal way, that is literally just segmenting your life. in a really like banal way that is literally just like segmenting your life if you're gonna yeah if you're gonna leave and go if you went to like a business lecture and they're like or like a motivational person and go like let's look at where you've been where you are now where do you want to be in five years yeah that's kind of what you're doing yeah but also you're doing it with cool looking cards hell yeah brother so you guys don't sound too hot on the cards but what about the story of lord tyrone and lady beersford i thought it was a very interesting story i liked unreal uh well let's please don't jump to any conclusions i liked the idea of the brother keeping the pack coming back to visitor uh it's very realistic i felt it's cool
Starting point is 00:47:42 when you merge religion and ghosts. The church should do something about that. Really, so we get a lot more people. Yeah, because everyone's just like, and Jesus, what ate the bread and this and that. It should have been like, he said, drink this wine. It's my blood. My zombie blood.
Starting point is 00:48:01 They should have said that, don't they? Well, yeah, but not the zombies. You have to have a zombie in. It depends on the gospel yeah there's a lot of discrepancy between i want to rewrite it to be like the the dope bible they should have sent jesus back with like a like freddy mask and stuff just to really shock the people you know you're listening now so like at the last at the last supper they like uberats in a bunch of McDonald's. He's like, eat this nugget. That's not how he did.
Starting point is 00:48:29 That's not how he did the feeding of the 5,000. They didn't just see that and they quietly get an Uber Eats in. It's like, they haven't seen it. No, he only had three McFlurries and a fish filet, but everyone was fed. Yeah. It was amazing. I thought he was just doing tuna butties. They've got McFlurries.
Starting point is 00:48:47 McFlurries as well. But as far as the case goes, as far as this story goes, I think we're going to need to see a lot more in the way of evidence. I will concede it's more or less a legend. So I said at the end Lady Beardsford got her kids and her closest friends around. One of those close friends did relay the story to the next generation. So it was written down within that lifetime. It wasn't like a Bible thing where 200 years went by.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Well, that's cool. So it was documented like secondhand. Yeah. But she definitely died in her 47th year. Apparently. That's not the answer. I think it would have been. Well, that's what the lady, I think. I don't know. It would have been good.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Who the f*** cares? Well, that's what the lady says, you know what I mean? Unless we find out this crucial bit of information, I think I'm going to be a no this week on the podcast. Yeah, I think I'm going to be a no too. Just because we need to ratify that fact whether she did die and therefore the prophecy was fulfilled. And also, it would have been good if he said some more things that she could have verified to prove that this wasn't just a delusion. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:48 Because in the proximity to the brother's death, they were obviously close because they were both orphans. They had a tumultuous upbringing. She could have quite easily seen him due to grief. Yeah, that's true. You know, if we had more verifiable facts that he would have given her from the – it's not that he's just a ghost he can see the future yeah which is we really kind of brushed over that yeah because that's two things isn't it one being a ghost and coming back from the dead but then also knowing how future yeah how future events will unfold yeah
Starting point is 00:50:18 why does that prove that you're a ghost also if you're a brother don't tell her i do love the idea of them having this this pact for like him to come back and also, if you're a brother, don't tell her. I do love the idea of them having this pact for like him to come back and tell her if there's a heaven. So one night she's sleeping and he, you know,
Starting point is 00:50:31 his spirit appears and he's like, I've come back. And she's like, oh, you've come back to tell me that there is a heaven. Oh,
Starting point is 00:50:37 no, no, no, no, no, no, You're going to die. You are going to die.
Starting point is 00:50:40 That's why I'm back. You're going to hate it. Also, just thought to me, if he can predict the future, if he can can see the future why does he not tell her about the mistake that's going to be made about her age i'm just jumping back in guys to say that she did die at age 47 she lived from 1666 to 1713 that's 47 years folks the only problem is you took so long to rectify that question that we've actually got a new, better one.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Okay, so it sounds like you're pretty darn on this story, too. But I believe in the tarot. Yeah, one for two. It's not bad. Oh, we believe in the tarot? Yeah, I'm on board. Hell, why not? All right.
Starting point is 00:51:20 It's Halloween, guys. Let's get spooky. So that's a triple no for the case of Lady Beersford and Lord Tyrone in Northern Ireland in the 1600s. But a yes for... I think they're useful and spooky. Okay, they're definitely spooky. Certified spooky. Is that paranormal?
Starting point is 00:51:41 Yeah. F*** it. That's a triple yes on the front of tarot cards. And now I get to round up the podcast before you guys back out of that. Well, that just about rounds it up for the case of Halloween fortune telling. We hope that you have an amazing Halloween. Send us pictures of your costumes. Yeah, go out there and gang some candy.
Starting point is 00:52:04 That's right. And send some of it to the commune. We've mentioned before, we're going to need it. There's a food shortage, we can tell you that already. The Halloween month, all Patreon donations will be candy instead of money. I want all of that in a bucket, just sent directly to my house. Yeah, you can send your candy and pics to this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com um what have you guys got planned for halloween um what do we have
Starting point is 00:52:33 planned um i'm actually just uh gonna get my pentagram play out okay have a devil sandwich okay and converse with the evil lord strong i see these cards have had a powerful impact on you i'm just gonna flip my switch what quiet night in mute the phone oh you know i wish i hadn't asked thank you so much daniel for joining us on this episode of this paranormal life we've been meaning to get you on for absolutely ages i couldn't be more prepared for halloween now yeah because we've only ever had one other guest which was gav and after that we thought we'll never again yeah it was it was horrendous it was awful it was unmitigated disaster but enough time has passed now that i that i think it's fine that was grass can grow again yeah
Starting point is 00:53:19 and now it'll be another year because this was just awful wow um but thank you so much for joining us uh if you want to follow daniel on twitter he is at krupa yep not sure how he got that username i am infinitely jealous i stole that off an indian man who hadn't used his twitter for four years there you go that's actually a true story that's actually a true story interesting mad jealous and illegal um yeah thank you so much for joining us for this special Halloween episode of This Paranormal Life. I hope you have a spooky evening. And we will be back next Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. I want like a lightning bolt to end it.
Starting point is 00:53:57 That's good. Thank you.

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