This Paranormal Life - #117 The American Dyatlov Pass

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

When 5 men disappear into the snowy wilderness leaving their perfectly functioning car behind, police are stuck looking for answers. Where did they go? Why did they leave? Are there paranormal powers ...at play? Time to #INVESTIGATESupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Is soda the water of the future? What happens if a human drinks gasoline? It makes a car go faster, so what about us? All these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello, hello, welcome back everyone to This Paranormal Life, the comedy podcast where every week we investigate a brand new paranormal tale. And as professional paranormal investigators, we come to a conclusion as to whether it is real or it is false. That's right. Today we are going to investigate what's gasoline, what petroleum to the Brits out there in the listenership. What happens when you drink that?
Starting point is 00:00:40 And Rory's just got a big old gallon of the stuff right here in front of him. Oh, yes. And he's ready to chug a lug. I always talk about how i compare myself to a car you know i like to go fast like to go fast you know if you were a car you would be a muscle car exactly because i'm i'm jacked oh yeah i'll also like i'll break down a lot like yeah you're kind of a classic car in that respect a classic muscle car you know yeah i'm quite unreliable strong good to look at uh but unbelievably faulty in many ways yeah i'm really hard to steer in one direction as well like if you tell me to just like go to school or something i'll be like you dad and like i'll do what i want and then i'll try
Starting point is 00:01:23 and leave but i kind of break down on the way out of the house. Yeah. Emotionally as well. Emotionally, physically. Yeah. Whenever you start heading towards something in life, the brakes don't work. If you've made a bad decision, the brakes do not do not work. And honestly, I think all of that is because I just I'm out of gas.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Right. So I think if I just put a couple bit more in the tank. A couple bit more. I'm a couple bit more i'm breaking down here man you know what we'll try and get through the podcast and then right we'll save that for the time at the end right i'll chug the gasoline because we don't have time to mess around here today folks we have an incredible paranormal well possibly paranormal mystery to solve okay now in today's story We're investigating a possibly paranormal mystery that to this day remains unsolved Whoa on February 25th five friends drove 50 miles north to Chico
Starting point is 00:02:21 California to watch a local basketball game After the game they stopped by a market to pick up some drinks and snacks for the drive home. They left the store, hopped in the car, and that was the last time any of them were seen alive. Wow. This mystery is known as the American Dyatlov Pass incident. And you might have to break down that name
Starting point is 00:02:43 for maybe the listeners who haven't heard our episode about the Dyatlov pass incident and you might have to break down that name for maybe the listeners who haven't heard our episode about the atlov pass incident so this is a case that actually you investigated um i did and it was a case in russia i believe where a group of skiers or hitchhikers went up a mountain and they all were found dead yeah this group of hikers and mountaineers young student group went out into the snowy wilderness of russia and basically like this story were never seen alive again and when they did show up and they were found the details of that were kind of gruesome mysterious and to this day unsolved someone had like radiation poisoning there was like it was crazy put it this way they didn't know you have to listen to the episode they didn't know if an avalanche had hit him if a ufo
Starting point is 00:03:30 had abducted them you know what all i can say is because there are even any parallels drawn between these two cases it should be an indication of how weird things are going to get today and we're going to america's things are going to be bigger they're going to be crazier more guns it's going to be wild so let's just hop right in the five men that went missing were bill sterling jack hewitt ted weir jack madruga and gary matthias five men ranging from 24 to 32 all from yuba city california as we mentioned on february 25th they all decide they want to go watch this university basketball game between chica and chica state you know the long-term rivalry there between the chica clans between what this is a location chica california right chicas i'm not saying ladies
Starting point is 00:04:20 no i know but like you're also saying it was a game between two of what sounds like the same word So is this two different teams? Yeah, like you'd have like Georgia and Georgia Tech Okay, okay, okay Different universities and teams in the same location Okay, cool Now Jack Madruga and Gary Mathias were the only two in the group who actually had a driver's license So Jack offered to be the driver for the night
Starting point is 00:04:42 The crew grabbed their jackets as it was pretty snowy at this time. They jumped into his 1968 Mercury Montego and headed north for the game. That's a Rory vehicle it sounds like. That's a muscle car if I've ever seen one before. Where is Yuba? Yuba City? Because I don't know. Don't do this to me man i mean you have google you know that i don't know this you can just look it up like i'm only asking i don't expect you to know whatever i know is in the research that's it if i know where it is it's in in the dock. Okay, so the edges of your Google dock are just like the fringes of space.
Starting point is 00:05:26 Yuba City is a city in Northern California. Are you happy now? Well, we knew it was in California, so it's not that surprising that it's Northern California, especially because it was snowy. It's a place in Northern California that's prone to winter weather. All right, and at this time of year, it was particularly winter. Granted. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:47 Does that answer your question? Particularly winter. They arrived at the location. They watched the game and their team won. So they headed back home. It's kind of a win. If you support Chica, it's kind of a win-win situation. Because you can pretty much just flip jerseys real easy.
Starting point is 00:06:03 There's like almost no difference. It's reversible depending on who wins. So they headed home at 9.50 p.m. The men stopped at a nearby market to pick up some snacks. The store clerk who was later interviewed said they weren't acting strange. In fact, they seemed perfectly normal. But when the men never returned home police knew something bad had happened possibly something paranormal i don't think the police thought that
Starting point is 00:06:33 the police definitely did not think that well they thought something bad had happened what year was i thought that there was something okay so you just rolled it that really hurt my ears so i just rolled you just rolled your thoughts into the police's thoughts there. Just a little tagline. Okay. Like if the police have a report where it was like, it was a triple homicide. We caught the suspect.
Starting point is 00:06:53 We have them here at the station. He's admitted to everything. So obviously this is an open and shut case. And I'm like, yeah, open and shut. Paranormal case. You caught the wizard.
Starting point is 00:07:04 And they're like, please leave the station sir you i don't know how you got in here i think you're being arrested for a crime right now i think you were on the way to the visitor's center where your son was going to see you because he only gets to visit his jailed up dad 30 minutes a month you can't blame me for not wanting to see him he's a pretty big disappointment i lost control of the volume of my voice after the paranormal incident after the divorce she got all my money is that what he means by paranormal because it wasn't normal was it like she took everything
Starting point is 00:07:39 it was pretty freaking mean actually what were we talking about uh oh yeah the police when they never returned home the police believed that something horrible had happened possibly paranormal the police started investigating the disappearance what had happened to these men they searched in squad cars up and down the same route that the men had taken to get to their basketball game, but they couldn't find anything. No car, no footprints in the snow, nothing. That's when, on February 28th, three days later, they got a call. anything other than start because a lot of people come up here to go skiing with their families but i saw the missing persons bulletin and i recognized the vehicle finally a lead whoa yeah i mean that pretty much hit the nail on the head because i don't really know anything about like i say yuba i don't know anything about that area. But I know Northern California has a lot of trees.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Yeah. A lot of parks. Oh, yeah. A lot of outdoors, basically. So it is conceivable that you could get lost, break down, something like that. Definitely weird that they didn't find them in a lay-by or something like that, broken down. But yeah, it's not outside the realms of possibility that they ended up in a national park like this. Well, it's what you said. The officers get ready to head to the abandoned vehicle, but its location doesn't make any sense. The car was 70 miles from Chico, way off their route home. Right, okay. So you'd have to go super out of your way to make it there.
Starting point is 00:09:20 And they left at 10 p.m. Yeah, this isn't getting lost. This is driving to a different location. So what happened to these people Kit? Were they carjacked? Did their car slide on the ice? And slide and slide. And keep sliding for miles?
Starting point is 00:09:34 70 miles? Is that the best explanation for what happened here? Well no. It isn't because they went uphill. And you can't slide uphill. I assume this is the argument they're having in the police precinct. It's 3 a.m. Maybe they slid for 70 straight miles.
Starting point is 00:09:53 F*** it, we're gonna need more coffee and donuts in here. Sandra, get a thousand more donuts. We're gonna be here all night. Sandra gets into the cop car to go buy more donuts and just slides into the horizon On the icy roads So after a short journey the police finally arrived at the car and things only get stranger Inside the car was the wrappers and empty soda cans that they had purchased at the market
Starting point is 00:10:22 Along with the program for the basketball game they had attended. But by the looks of it, the car had driven up the road until it had become stuck in the snow. But not even that badly. Like it wouldn't have taken even five men to just push this thing loose. And that's after three days of snowfall as well. On top of this, there were no keys in the car. So the keys had been taken when the car stopped. But when the police hotwired the car, it started immediately with a quarter tank full of gas. So there was no obvious reason why the car would be abandoned? Absolutely not. For all we know, it looks like they just parked the car, turned it off, and left in the middle of the wilderness. That's incredibly creepy if you
Starting point is 00:11:06 can imagine what it was like to be... imagine you were on that case from the moment that they these people were reported missing through to standing there in the snow 70 miles off track with an abandoned car. Terrifying! In the middle of a power... in the middle of a snowy national park. So the police tried to search the area, but a huge snowstorm rolled in that day, forcing the officers to leave the scene. Before long, the case started picking up media coverage, local news, missing person reports. It was taken over the town. The police were getting multiple calls about sightings of the men, particularly after the reward money for information was mentioned
Starting point is 00:11:45 of course you gotta sweeten that deal for folks suddenly they start remembering those lips are getting a little looser around these parts they didn't member till old george washington shit wait who's on the 100 uh is it benjamin benjamin i feel like benji oh yeah because i feel like rappers talk a lot about benjamin the benjamins yes so it's probably not the one dollar bill they're not rapping about how much they can't afford lunch now as you can imagine a lot of these calls were pure nonsense but one in particular stood out a man named joseph of sacramento told the police that he had seen the men that night. How? Well, because he actually spent the night in that area in his own car.
Starting point is 00:12:32 What? Joseph had driven up there to check the snow before a weekend ski trip with his family. But at 5.30 the same evening the men went missing missing he also got stuck in the snow and in the process of trying to push his car out he basically started having a heart attack so he jumped back into his car for safety from the heart attack i mean i guess i think it was more to just get warm okay not like seal the doors and hope that it can't follow you inside you can't run from you can't run from a heart attack that's what they definitely can't ski away from it this man should not be participating in action sports yeah but don't go skiing with your family if your
Starting point is 00:13:17 heart's that fragile you stupid old man so he's been in this car having a heart attack. Six hours later, lying in the car, experiencing severe pain. Whoa. He told the police he saw headlights coming up behind him. When he looked out the back window, he saw a car parked with its headlights on and a group of people all standing around it. One of which he claimed looked like a woman holding a baby. He called for help because he's still having a heart attack, I guess. I don't know how long heart attacks go on for. But after he yells out for help, they just stop talking and the headlights turn off.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Joseph also said that later on he recalled a pickup truck parking behind him briefly and then continuing on down the road. behind him briefly and then continuing on down the road but he also told police that he could not be sure of any of this or anything at the time because he was quote almost delirious from the pain i mean on the one hand i kind of imagined that this car was found in an incredibly remote area yeah especially that time of night we wouldn't associate a park like that with having a lot of cars but miraculously we seem to have at least one other bystander um although they do seem to be somewhat impaired but some of what he's describing sounds totally realistic it does seem to describe what it matches what the police have seen which is that the car arrived the car was turned off the people left the car stood around
Starting point is 00:14:46 it um but then it's also peppered in like the woman and the baby how does that picture a second pickup second pickup i mean surely the whoever came in the second pickup would either help the stranded people or the guy having a heart attack i, it's such a mad coincidence that at the same time and place that these guys went missing, there was another dude in a car having a heart attack. But I mean, it all checks out. The next morning, Joseph said he walked down the road to a lodge where the manager drove him back home. And in that drive, they actually passed by the men's abandoned car right at the place
Starting point is 00:15:22 where he said that he heard the voices that night so as soon as the police started putting out messages saying that they were looking for this type of car he knew that that was the abandoned one that he noticed in the woods that night got it got it so it does line up a little bit if only he wasn't so goddamn delirious but it's not helping that now he's at hospital they're pumping him full of meds yeah full of painkillers he's starting to jazz up the story a little bit so i'm in the front seat having a heart attack see and miles davis is in the back playing some smooth smooth sounds well with reported sightings dying down and no more leads to follow officers just had to wait basically until the blizzard ended and the
Starting point is 00:16:06 higher up snow melted which as we know from the show the first 48 your investigation is yeah by the time that snow's melted i mean like i don't really know what i'm talking about but supposedly there's like a very condensed period of time where you gotta make that initial investigation yeah exactly because then you know you're gonna lose evidence you're gonna lose witnesses their memory's gonna get foggy and you know what they missed the window by quite a bit because it took four months for this snow to fall what it took till summer june 4th the guy in the car has already had his ski holiday gone back to work had another heart attack June 4th a group of motorcyclists were driving up in the woods along the now damp and cold paths
Starting point is 00:16:53 Around 19 miles from where the Montego car was found. Oh my god. I think was that snow it must have been Insane impenetrable. Wow, I really know nothing about Northern California. It's either that or they didn't give a f***. It's hard to tell. I don't know enough about the case. So these motorcyclists were up there driving in the woods. They rode past a nearby trailer that was maintained by the Forest Service at a nearby campsite and noticed the front window had been smashed
Starting point is 00:17:26 strange because with the temperatures that they'd had over winter no one was staying this far up the mountain the men approached the cabin and slowly pushed the door open find out what they found on next week's episode of this paranormal life that That's right, folks. We've got a big old two-parter this week. As we said before, you know, this story even having anything to do with the Dyatlov Pass incident should let you know just how crazy this story gets.
Starting point is 00:17:58 This is about to get messed up, folks. So much weird stuff happens that I felt a little bad condensing it down into one story so if you tune in next week you'll be able to hear the conclusion to the american dyatlov pass incident what a story so far right good lord i mean we got so many loose ends to tie together what the hell happened why would you drive a car 70 miles into the wilderness turn off the the engine and just walk out into the snow what's the second pickup truck is the man who had a heart attack still alive we don't know
Starting point is 00:18:33 and like how are there still leads after four months that's what i want to know it's crazy and wait till you find out what is going on in this cabin things are gonna get weird my friend we're talking bruno's room level ancient alien constructs painted on the walls statues of philosophers humans and greys hugging making out it's gonna be weird but thank you so much for tuning in i cannot wait for next week where we get to the bottom of this case but if you can't wait for the second half of that episode and you need some more paranormal deliciousness in your life hey we have a whole backlog of episodes over on patreon.com where for as little as five what is dollar five bucks for the small price of a couple quincy adams for a couple John Quincy Adams, which is obviously $5, you can get access to a whole backlog
Starting point is 00:19:27 of bonus episodes. B-b-b-bonus. We're talking hours here, folks, so go check that out. And also, if you do support us on Patreon, as always, we like to give you a little special shout-out at the end of our regular episodes. So, thank you very much to... Rose Keating!
Starting point is 00:19:44 Rose Keating, my life force is depleting. Give me some of that sweet, sweet gasoline, baby. Oh, yeah. Because this car wants to drive. I mean, it might kill you, but I have a really good feeling about it. We said we'd save it for the end of this episode. So, as soon as these shoutouts are done, Rose, you and me are sharing a gasoline-y. I really think it's going gonna fire you up for the
Starting point is 00:20:05 next episode i think people are really gonna enjoy the next episode i'm excited man thanks also to derrick that's right derrick the cleric just about the holiest man in the paranormal commune wow most religious people focus on one religion they're like really good at christianity really good at hinduism he's a expert a jack of all trades master of none if you will he's the he's the social butterfly at the party that just knows everyone he's like hey buddha how you doing man jesus my man how's it going he's high-fiving people he's hanging out which is i think against the rules of a lot of religions almost all of them i don't know how he got into the party of the gods because they all hate him pretty bad but hey we admire your faith thanks also to ryan scott ryan's got a big old
Starting point is 00:20:59 what that's i've it's all i'm saying it's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I'll move on, but it's there, man. Thanks also to Marissa Brown. Marissa Brown, the paranormal clown. You know how some clowns will, like, pull a rabbit from a hat to, like, entertain the kids? Of course. I saw her pull the chupacabra from a bag. Whoa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:23 In hindsight, that's not really a magic trick. Because it wasn't like a... Yeah. It was just in a bag. Yeah. Like before the show, it was kicking and screaming. And, you know, there wasn't a lot of pageantry to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Now that I think about it, she just let the chupacabra loose at a kid's play party. Yeah. I mean, that's the dedication to the craft. I guess she stalked the chupacabra for years probably just for that trick only to capture it then set it free at a children's party that's beautiful actually really cool well done not for little timmy no first and last birthday thank you to adam cratcha that's right thank you adam who lives in Adam, above a tiny, beautiful village in the European countryside where just sort of like a weird Disney villain,
Starting point is 00:22:11 he holds back all the water from them. So he built the dam? He built and lives in the dam. Adam lives in the dam. Why would he? Why? I feel like this is blood money that he's contributing at this point. We don't want your damn money, Adam. See what there oh i just got a text oh he took our water oh yeah he took i i guess i was a bit too mean to him with that pun he took our water he took our water i don't know
Starting point is 00:22:36 it's not even just ours or like all of the cities must be london's right because he only works in dams damn scale exactly be some water F*** me some water, Adam, please. I'm thirsty. I didn't realize how thirsty I was until it's gone. We open up BBC News, the Thames is dry. What? Thank you,
Starting point is 00:22:58 Adam, for your damn money. Thanks also to Mark Barry. Mark actually tried to bury me alive. What? Yeah. He took me to the cemetery, clonked me over the head with a shovel, and I fell right in that pit. I woke up seven hours later. I mean, good thing he is incredibly out of shape. He hadn't got very far at all.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Even though several hours had passed, it was like up to my ankles. He wanted to bury you six feet under. He managed, what, half a foot? Not much at all. There was like up to my ankles. He wanted to bury you six feet under. He managed, what, half a foot? Not much at all. There was no reason to do it. It was weird for you to agree to go to the cemetery at night in the first place. I like Mark Berry. He's a good guy.
Starting point is 00:23:35 He's not. He tried to kill you. Oh, yeah. I don't remember so good after the shovel hit. Thanks also to Celine Simmons. Celine Simmons, relative of legendary rock star Gene Simmons? Mr. I wanna party all night and... What is it?
Starting point is 00:23:53 If you can't remember the lyrics to Rock and Roll All Night... Rock and Roll All Night and Party Every Day. That's like the jock test. If you can't recite that course, you don't belong on the football team, my friend. Shit, but I'm the best damn quarterback we've ever seen. But you don't know the lyrics. Go catch a book, nerd.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I'm seven foot tall, 300 pounds, unbelievably gifted savant of the sport. Your dad was Atlanta Falcons star Matt Ryan, award-winning QB. 300 pounds. Unbelievably gifted savant of the sport. Your dad was Atlanta Falcons star Matt Ryan, award-winning QB. But I don't know the lyrics, dad. They wouldn't let me in. Selene, must be weird growing up in the limelight like that. You know, in the shadow of your old man.
Starting point is 00:24:43 But hey, you're shining pretty bright by our standards. Exactly. Thanks for the support. Just because of that, you made the team. Come on, you little sc pretty bright by our standards. Exactly. Thanks for the support. Just because of that, you made the team. Come on, you little scamp. Come on over here. Well done. Well done.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Know the lyrics for next practice, though. Yeah. Thanks also to Jake Collingwood. Jake Collingwood is balling good. That's right. The breakout star of 2019 NBA. He can just drain three pointers. Oh, yeah. You know he's making those bucks off of those,
Starting point is 00:25:11 and he's throwing a couple coins our way. Just from the half court, just throwing those in the bucket of the paranormal peasants. He's the number one in the sport. He's the number one on the court. Jake the Rake, they call him, because he's tall and thin and pointy, but he can shoot three pointies.
Starting point is 00:25:32 It's no problem. You're good at basketball, Jake, is what we're trying to say. We're trying to beat around the bush, but that's the fact of the matter. I think it's very evident that neither of us play sports. We can barely say the name of the sport. Thank you to Christian Lang. Christian's never missing.
Starting point is 00:25:56 That's right. You can hear the crack of that baseball bat when this MLB star steps up to bat. Christian, get that golden glove on, because you're the best damn ball player this park's ever seen. And he isn't out there just stealing bases, but stealing our hearts. And he's knock, knock, knocking some of that MLB cash straight out of the park and into our pockets. Into the gloves of the paranormal fielders.
Starting point is 00:26:22 I love it. Thank you. Thanks also to Aaron Nelson. They call him Aaron Fool Nelson. Ding, ding! Because he's always laying the smackdown on suckers. Too bad a few years back, kind of pre-WWE fame, he challenged Dwayne The Rock Johnson to a bout in a car park somewhere in the states and um well he beat his skinny ass into the ground turns out if you're king of the ring that doesn't necessarily
Starting point is 00:26:53 lead to king of the park the car park because they're dirty street rules and duane's a pretty big guy it turns out thank you aaron nonetheless for your contribution to the wrestling world. A lot of incredible sporting gods really support this podcast. It's amazing. It's weird. We must have had a feature in, like... I don't know a single sports magazine. Can't even name one single sports...
Starting point is 00:27:18 We must have had a feature in Sports Weekly. We must have had a feature in f***ing Playboy or some magazine. Thank you to Rachel A a leggett rachel loves to leg it when she's doing that hundred meter sprint at the olympics that's right we got a runner on our feet people rachel is taking human athleticism to its peak she is an olympic goddess sure all these other people can toss a ball throw a punch full of nelson but rachel's the only one that can run fast which is kind of the original sport we've been doing that since we were fish that's this your fish? That's really funny.
Starting point is 00:28:06 So thank you, Rachel, for legging it all the way over to the paranormal peasants and throwing some of your Olympic golds in our basket. Thanks also to Rory Sucks. How dare you? I didn't say it, dude. Don't shoot the messenger. What's the name? Rory Sucks. You're the guy sucks you you're on
Starting point is 00:28:26 thin ice you're on thin ice you understand the like what we're doing here we're reading out people's what they've written as their name on the site yeah yeah and you're blasting me you're blasting me from nowhere what's the name you're gonna get mad if i say it again say what the what did they write in their contact details okay just to be clear hard brainiac so you do understand that they they write it and then i just read it out and it's not my words yeah okay fine rory sucks you f***ing a**hole thank you also to sedatulu sedatulu wears a tutu is just about the most graceful ballerina of all time. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:06 That's right. They're on some black swan shit. They're possessed by a demon to dance. And dancing is kind of like the original sport. We've been doing that since we were fish. Maybe before. But thanks, Sada, because I don't really know if ballerinas make a lot of cash but I guess they do because you're throwing
Starting point is 00:29:28 some our way it's super appreciated couldn't do it without you thank you thank you also to oh my god Kane West who's Kane West ever heard of Gold Digger ever heard of Black Skinhead ever heard of
Starting point is 00:29:44 uh isn't that Gold Digger? Ever heard of Black Skinhead? Ever heard of... Isn't that... That's Black Skinhead. You're thinking of Kanye West. Oh, that's like different? Kanye West. You said...
Starting point is 00:29:55 What did you say? Kane West? Oh, this is just a person. This is just a regular guy. Oh, that's so stupid of me. I guess it's just Winter Olympic gold winning snowboard medalist Kane West. Right, that's still stupid of me. I guess it's just Winter Olympic gold-winning snowboard medalist Kane West. Right, that's still really impressive. I guess.
Starting point is 00:30:09 That's another really huge athletic person that we have in our support. I mean, I guess if you count the Winter Olympics as the Olympics, I guess. So rude to Kane. Thanks, Kane, I guess, for your snowy little tiny gold medal. They're the same size. The winter ones aren't smaller or colder. Thanks, Kane. Thanks also to Danilo Enriquez.
Starting point is 00:30:30 Danilo was pretty weird for someone who's so good at the high jump. No. That's right. An Olympic silver. He's not quite... He didn't get the gold. I said he's pretty good at the high jump. I guess that's pretty impressive.
Starting point is 00:30:45 I mean, neither of us have any Olympic medals. Next year. For what? They didn't make the cut. I need to know for what you tried out for. Well, I tried a lot of different things, but I just didn't make the cut this year, that's all. Well, yeah, because if you're the best runner,
Starting point is 00:31:03 you're not necessarily going to be good at shock put shock but yeah you know you throw the ball or javelin where you throw the stick all these olympic sports right right right well like i i mean like i dabble i dabble in all of those if you dabble in a sport you shouldn't assume that you can be an olympian they just haven't seen me on my A game. Like, it gets to the day. You should bring your A game. That's the one day you should bring your A game. And I always feel tired.
Starting point is 00:31:31 But like, this year, or like next year, I guess. Next year will be the year. Well, hey, if you needed a little bit of fire in the tank, brother, I got a whole thing of gasoline here waiting to get chugged. Just wait. It's looking cold. It's looking icy. It's looking delicious. I'm excited. I excited thirsty as hell i might join you and thanks lastly but not leastly to sam royal
Starting point is 00:31:50 sam's a royal pain in my ass what because he told me to not drink the gas that's right i told him what i was gonna do i told him my hypotheses yeah and he he told me not to drink the gas. All because he's some kind of quote-unquote doctor of human medicine. And it might quote-unquote kill me. But you know what? Super rich coming from a doctor. Exactly. I'm pretty sure that's what they said to Captain America before he ingested the super soldier serum. Oh, hey Cap, this might kill you.
Starting point is 00:32:22 You know what happened to him? What? Well, he became Captain America. That's like he took it and it worked for him. He became really strong Yeah, cuz he was a dweeb before. He was a tiny little guy and I'm pretty buff now. So if I drink this gasoline Imagine what's gonna happen man. I'm gonna be like Captain Planet. It's gonna be crazy Alright, so thank you so much everyone for joining us i'm just gonna roy's just he's got it it's really massive it's a really heavy uh do you think we should start with like a little amount or no captain america didn't start with a little amount of super soldier serum he ingested the whole thing you're right bro and that that was
Starting point is 00:33:00 made by nazi scientists this was made by good old American ground. So, I'm just going to say goodbye. Thank you so much for joining us for this week's episode. We'll see you on Tuesday for part two. For part two where we conclude. And I'm going to be all fired up because I got this sweet, sweet gasoline. Oh, yeah. Can't wait to see what happens. You all right?
Starting point is 00:33:25 Oh, we forgot to do the sign off. Number two. Live fast, investigate, and die. I have to go to the hospital. I have to go to the hospital right now. I just realized
Starting point is 00:33:35 it's burning me up inside. We need to go now.

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