This Paranormal Life - #122 The Haunting of Arreton Manor
Episode Date: July 23, 2019The Isle of Wight has a rich history of dark, evil and mysterious events, but one place in particular stands out amongst them all... Arreton Manor...Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get... access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello mortals!
Welcome to This Paranormal Life, the only paranormal podcast where we investigate a
brand new paranormal tale, claim, case case or beast uh where kit and i are
the hosts you're goddamn right we're very excited to be back on another paranormal tuesday with a
very interesting tale a lot of other podcasts will talk ask about how each other are doing
right that would only be dispelling classified information i don't want to tell you how my week
went all right because then you know shit about me how's how's my week classified what's my name
classified when's my birthday of course classified this is you on a date so what do i do for fun huh
how about that's classified you mind your own business they're just like i already know a lot
about you from your tinder profile how did you get access to that classified database today's episode comes from a fantastic listener submission
uh from swan levitt who emailed his story to this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com for us to
investigate and swan we've got you covered buddy buddy. We're going to rip this case wide open. He said, hello, Kitten Nori. My name is Swan Levitt, and I have a story to tell.
I'm going to be paraphrasing a little bit, but this is essentially what his email said.
I live on the Isle of Wight, a small island south of mainland Britain. The Isle of Wight has a lot
of history. It has Roman villas,lo-saxon settlements and a big
ass norman castle smack bang in the middle of it it's also pretty damn creepy and often regarded
as the most haunted island in the world really allegedly even more than atlantis well that's not
an island right it's in the bottom of the ocean it was an island yeah but even then i would have thought like alcatraz is probably pretty haunted i guess it's an island
yeah where ghosts went to jail or whatever happened there yeah because you have the regular
high security prison and then in the ghost realm you have the even higher security it's surprisingly
hard to keep ghosts in place yeah which was extra sad when the prisoners died in alcatraz and they
were like well at least i'm free he's like oh you're going to ghost traz well what was your
sentence here before 50 years 5 million years in ghost prison and then i get out then you go to
hell okay i stole some bread oh is this fair he continued my story takes place at ariton
manor its history dates back to as early as 872 jesus yeah i know it's bad when it's only three
digits it must have been built around then but records are pretty vague when it comes to the
dark ages of course however the house
is specifically mentioned in king alfred the great's will in 885 offering the manor to his son
athel weird athel weird we are what maybe i'm just pronouncing it wrong athel athel weird it Athol weird. It looks like Athol weird. How is it spelled? Think Athol.
Right.
And then weird.
Okay.
W-E-A-R-D.
Okay.
Maybe weird.
Weird.
Athol weird.
It's going to be much less distracting if you pronounce it Athol weird.
If we change it.
Okay.
So we gave it to Athol freak.
Was that chiller?
The opposite of what I said.
It was also later owned by William the Conqueror, Edward the Confessor,
and then monks resided there for over 400 years.
The royalty dropped the ball.
Why did they let it slip out of the grip of the royal family?
Well, it eventually slipped back into royal hands.
Thank God.
When it was owned by Count Slade de Pomperoy.
Now, at this point, the manor was a beautiful place
expensive decorations
dazzling furnishings
but as we know
the history of places like this
are seeped into the walls
carved into the rock
you can't escape them
with your lavish furnishings
you can put
no matter how beautiful the Ikea rug is you put over the uh
blood-stained floors the blood will seep through exactly listen we've all we i don't know a lot
about the royalty of old and britain uh but i have seen game of thrones and i understand that they
have many castles uh it's a they sort of swan about all of them and generally a lot of
bloody stuff goes on in there yeah ungodly stuff as well we're talking praying to fire gods yeah
we're talking killing entire families of people entire bloodlines inside the these walls yeah
that stuff's not getting scrubbed out by mr muscle no you can't just hang a plasma
over the gallows you know that shit you can't roomba the blood of the innocent trust me we
tried we tried a whole horde of roombas it would work like a ghostbusters trap you know and just
kind of trap the demons in there sort of luigi's mansion style suck them up but when we came back
they'd possess the room the rumors were very much the rumors were sentient they were actually Luigi's Mansion style suck them up. But when we came back, they possessed the Roombas.
The Roombas were very much haunted.
The Roombas were sentient.
They were actually muttering ancient curses,
trying to suck up the humans via their shoes.
The Roombas were going in a kind of satanic spell circle.
They weren't hoovering up dust anymore, that's for sure.
Well, late one night, the Count was sleeping peacefully in his enormous warm bed
when he heard a faint light
tapping on his bedroom door. He tried to sleep through it, but the tapping persisted. So he
jumped out of bed, stormed over to the door, and flung it open. What is it? He yelled into the
empty halls, but there was no one there. Now this continued as the days went on, tapping late at night. The count eventually
stopped going to the door until one night he'd had enough and he ran over to the door, threw it open
and all of a sudden he felt a number of unseen hands shove him backwards into the room. Whoa.
His housekeeper who had heard the commotion and was there at the time, said that she had
seen two strange monks
push him from the doorway
and then disappear. Well, they are
strange monks. They're very violent, apparently.
But also, I mean, I don't think
there's been monks in this place for
years and years. It's slipped
back into royal hands.
Very, very true. I mean,
if something was tapping on your window to
begin with what are you gonna think it is probably a bird oh so this is his door um okay well my
point is moot cool i was very confused paranormal then yes of course it is no but i get if it's door
you know maybe it's your kids scratching at the door you know
be like uh papa you have you didn't feed us oh feed yourselves you're wankers or maybe it's like
mice nibbling away scratching at the door very possible uh this place is probably rat infested
or with all the blood lying around the rats are are probably jacked on blood of the innocent.
But yeah, totally.
Could be animals running around the place.
So this is most unusual.
It is most unusual.
But not unusual enough to be paranormal.
So let's flash forward.
To the year 1560.
When the manor was owned by a woman named mrs barnby lay now nearing the
end of her life one of her two sons james or thomas would inherit the property but which one
to determine this the brothers proposed the jewel no i thought i thought it was clear cut i thought
it was like the eldest no uh i guess not
i don't know how it works on the isle of light oh it's different rules it's like international
waters yes prison rules god damn yeah i i don't know 1560 they had they obviously had guns so
guns were around i don't know how did they when were guns invented oh jesus i'm pretty sure
guns were like 1400s let's guess when did you think uh when are you saying a gun was invented 14
1464 and we're not and we're not talking like chinese like the first cannon ever because
that's bullshit we're talking the first rifle we're not we're not talking about a caveman sticking a pebble in a bamboo shoot and firing it in another caveman's asshole we're
talking about a full-on western gunpowder cowboy hat gun slinging lasso tossing cowboy boot wearing
spike house horse riding western dirty ass pub drinking whiskey sucking rifle
and you think that was the 1400s i'm gonna say 1600 1600 we both overshot
this is on a website called Gun Timeline.
Which presumably was a premium Squarespace URL.
It just... Costs thousands.
It's just blank calendars until it gets to the year it was invented.
And it's just a picture of a barrel pointed at me through the screen.
You ducked out of shock.
Whoa!
Whoa! Careful where you're putting that thing junior
essentially uh historians have concluded that um 1364 was the year where uh i guess what guns were
at least popularized um yeah that's that's insane my sense of history is so off yeah because 1364 i think swords knights maybe when are
knights around that's a you need to go to knight timeline.com source rather sword timeline.com
just nothing nothing nothing till across both uh when i was say, when were knights invented? When were knights?
Okay, I'm going to guess 900.
I'm going to guess 1200.
Well, the knight Templars were 11, how do you even say this number?
11,118.
What do you mean 11,118?
That's in the future they come back that's 11 what that i meant 1000 1118 yeah christ well let's move on i'm talking about future nights
all right the duel was on they lined up they walked their 10 paces turned to face each other and fired their guns
when the smoke was cleared thomas had been killed not thomas however thomas had also shot james
who was now also dying it makes sense they're brothers they have the same dna same killer
instinct the same trigger finger yeah this is the worst possible outcome of a duel.
I think both of you killing each other.
It's just completely pointless.
Well, Swan went on to write in his email,
James, after this, had the deeds to the house,
but he himself was now on his deathbed.
Christ.
A proper shit show.
This is where things get interesting.
Now, James's son, John, wanted all
the wealth to fall to him when his father died. Of course. But James disliked his son. What?
I don't know the context behind that. And instead decided to give his whole inheritance to Annabelle,
his sweet little daughter whom he adored. Now, obviously, John wasn't happy at the thought
of his 10-year-old sister getting the manor and not him.
So, before his father could write his will
declaring Annabelle as rightful owner to the house,
John tiptoed into his father's bedchamber
and smothered him with a pillow.
No.
Yeah. Again, more rich, family sneaky ass shit going down this family is incredibly dysfunctional but just as john
turned around to leave the room he saw annabelle his sister standing in the doorway she witnessed
everything and she's only 10 did you you say? Only 10 years old.
Run, Annabelle.
Run for your life.
He's got a pillow and he's not afraid to use it.
John, in his panic, dragged Annabelle upstairs and hurled her from the highest window.
No.
She was killed immediately.
Of course.
Lots of evil shit is going down in this manor.
Would you even want it at this point, sir? Who is this piece of shit?
Because, yes, oh hey, I got the manor. I killed my own father and then my sister.
That won't come back and literally haunt me.
Well, usually this is where you, Kit, would ask me, Rory, for evidence.
And I, Rory, would say, Kit, I have none.
Okay, to be clear. I'm trying to be as clear as possible
but I Rory don't have to do that anymore because this isn't my Rory my case this is
Swan's case this is a Swan song all right Kit you see you're you're throwing a lot of information
at me but the crux of it seems to be you have no basis for any of what you just said. I was trying to be blatantly clear.
What I was trying to say is, this ain't on me.
This is on Swan.
Well, you chose to cover this story.
It was an obligation to a listener, all right?
But I included it, and you'll find out why.
Because Swan has a personal connection with Arriton Manor.
No.
He writes,
No.
He writes, My brother, Luke, worked as a caretaker and gardener there.
The house, now open to the public, is shut during winter months, but gardens still have to be kept up.
I quickly became jealous of my brother's new job, mad that he got it and I didn't.
So I crept into his room.
No, Swan!
I hate my brother, Annabelle.
I challenged him to a duel,
but the coward ignored me.
I said pistols at dawn and he didn't show.
I challenged him to a Yu-Gi-Oh duel.
I challenged him to Beyblades at dawn.
Winner gets the manor.
He's like, I don't know.
Neither of us own the manor
and I don't own a Beyblade.
What's more, I have a job and I'm busy.
Leave me alone.
Too busy to let it rip with your brother?
Yes.
A hundred percent.
Yes.
Oh, well, the current owner has two children, a boy and a girl.
They enjoyed playing around in the gardens, running around, chasing each other
through the various hedge mazes. My brother would often have a laugh with them while he cut the
grass and raked the leaves, etc. But one day, he noticed one of the children playing on her own.
Weird, he thought. The kids would always play together when they came home from school.
So he asked the girl, where's your brother? Is he sick or something?
The girl smiled and replied,
No, he's fine.
He's just playing with Annabelle.
You've heard that name before?
My brother went pale.
He had heard the stories of the little girl
who was thrown from the window,
but he shrugged it off.
It's obviously just a friend from school.
So we went on working away
slogging through the day that wasn't till he entered the hedge maze don't go to the hedge
maze i feel like if anything spooky happens in your day avoid all hedge mazes like anything
unlucky like you trip up because your shoelace was undone i'm staying the hell away from a hedge
maze if a little girl even hints at having contacted a deceased spirit just tell the boss
i'm not feeling great today yeah i'm gonna take the afternoon off i'll see you tomorrow morning
gonna sleep on it that's a good one gonna let that day's events pass by watch some netflix
forget about it yeah but don't even sleep don't
put your head down because that's when they pillow you all right oh yeah you gotta stay up all night
grunted all night you're gonna feel horrible the next day yeah but you're gonna feel alive as well
which is pretty great so tell your boss hey i'm not coming in today i'm feeling a little ill
then you hang up load your shotgun point it at the front door, turn the table up, you know, just sit there waiting, waiting, waiting.
Right.
Pizza delivery guy knocks on the door because you forgot you ordered a pizza.
He says, I've got a pepper.
Boom!
Blast.
One warning shot.
Get the son of a bitch off the porch.
Then, you know, Amazon delivery guy because you forgot you bought a bunch of shit on Amazon.
You bought some shotgun shells in Amazon.
You go to fire your gun. He's the shells what do you do now you're in the thick of it no time to think open the door grab a pillow smother the son of a bitch so now you're smothering
people next thing you know you look in the mirror and you are the demon you look over the pizza
delivery guys annabelle it's a slippery slope guys you know what they say you either what is it
either die a normie or live long enough to see yourself become a demon i think that was a batman
quote yeah so we entered the hedge maze now this is where he saw the owner's other child the boy
playing around on his own laughing and clearly talking to someone else someone who wasn't there who are you
talking to my brother asked um i'm not supposed to say what do you mean annabelle doesn't like adults
then the boy ran away giggling what ages are these children oh 17 and 18 i i mean they're young enough hopefully young enough for this to be
not normal but i mean when was the last time you ran away giggling i like to think it it's been
quite a few years the email continued his boss would often tell stories of his daughter talking
at night to a child who wasn't there. He would also look up at the highest window
and catch a glimpse of a pale little girl standing behind the glass.
This is really escalating.
Reportedly, you can also hear a sobbing voice coming from upstairs saying,
Mama? Mama?
But it's not the little girl.
I actually don't know where that comes from.
Yeah, that doesn't make any sense because well i guess if it's annabelle she's the daughter of one of the brothers so she
had a mom oh yeah of course so yeah but it could be annabelle or it could be this little girl
sure it could be the alive little girl oh yeah it could be what is an alive little girl doing up
behind a glass window at night well that's true well also in the email swan recommended that we
check out an episode of most haunted where the crew actually went to the manor and investigated
it overnight right we've uh featured Haunted on this podcast before.
It's just a staple, household staple,
of the kind of UK TV paranormal scene.
Paranormal investigators and psychic mediums
team up to investigate Britain's most famous paranormal cases.
Yeah, and, you know, the show is is um led by uh derek cora who's a
controversial figure in the paranormal world you know some people say that he's a uh uh uh what's
the word i'm looking for someone who is sneaky sneaky little sneakster he's a charlatan little
charlatan and i and i you know that And I, you know, that's their opinion.
You know, I won't say a bad word against them.
But I looked at the documentary
and I found some earth-shattering evidence.
You did?
I did.
I mean, at one point,
Derek Okora is possessed
by the spirit of a man
who used to live in this manor.
And it is some of the most captivating paranormal evidence that I've ever witnessed before.
Arata Manor is an ancient home on the Isle of Wight,
and it's providing an awful lot of evidential interest for the most haunted crew.
There had already been several incidents of apparent poltergeist activity,
and now in the attic
something seemed to have taken hold of derek
derek derek
derek okay mate come back come on who are you are you the spirit we will speak of edward
edward hello edward
are you edward brian
correct correct edward can you converse with us can you talk to us yes i can
yes i can we want to understand why you're still here i want to be here I want to be here. I want to be here. That's fine.
That's fine.
What?
You don't mind us being here, do you?
Where's that woman?
Who's that, Amy? Where's the woman?
I'm here.
What?
Good lady.
Good lady.
Good lady.
Good lady.
Good lady.
What do you...
Did you die, Edward?
Dead, dead, dead.
Keep on telling me dead, dead.
Everyone keeps on telling me dead.
He should have protected me.
He promised me he would.
Yes.
Yes, I will see him.
I will see him.
Edmund, let's make your way from your house.
Charlie boy.
Charlie boy.
Where are you?
Where are you?
Who was Charlie boy, Edmund?
Charles I.
What year was he here?
Gosh.
Derek.
Derek.
Derek.
Derek.
Derek.
Derek.
So obviously, as I said, you have some of the most convincing paranormal evidence I've ever seen in my life.
Holy smokes.
It's rare that we get to see an actual possession caught on camera.
Obviously, that was a very passionate possession.
Yeah.
A lot of heart and energy.
I mean, that's what happens when a demon is controlling your innards.
It's pretty violent. I guess on the more critical judgment of this,
anytime anyone asked him about a specific date,
he kind of either just fell over or started screaming.
He couldn't actually tell anyone when anything was happening.
He seemed to be very forthcoming with easy bits of information
such as who's charlie he said charles the first and then i think he was asked when was charles
the first here and then he just blacked out pretended to be asleep he slowly fell over onto
the ground and then they asked if he was okay and then he awoke again not possessed anymore but look i don't know how
this stuff works maybe after a couple hundred years in the demon dimension you lose track of
time and space because that's not derek trying to answer them that's the demon trying to comprehend
time and space through derek's body yeah we can't uh we can't really criticize derek for this one
he was not in control of himself uh bit confusing that you know the English language hasn't really changed in what 500 years
or more uh when I think it has actually so I thought this was a good case because not only
do we have this first-hand account of Derek Okora being possessed by a demon we have a whole um
episode of the show they shot with
a lot of paranormal stuff happening, but we also have one of our very own listeners having a
first-hand, I guess second-hand, connection to this manor, which is incredible. It's not something
that we get to deal with every day. It's rare. It really is rare. And whilst it's easy to sort of
pick apart what Derek Okor was doing there,
and whenever you watch Most Haunted,
you feel detached and you can sort of say,
well, those folks are making money off making that show.
That's their livelihood.
That's Derek's livelihood is getting possessed.
That's a bit of a conflict of interest, unfortunately,
is that the more times you get possessed,
the more money you make.
Yeah, that's not the industry you want to be in when you're trying to pose yourself as a credible paranormal investigator
yeah it's kind of like saying i'm a film critic and the more five stars i hand out the bigger my
house gets yeah like if we got paid for every yes on this podcast we'd be handing them out left right and center we'd be
dead and i got her because we'd be broke as hell but what's actually exciting is that we have
someone who does not have any interest financially in this there's no even emotional investment
really in this that they just simply work in the area yeah and that they have had a first-hand
encounter with this and it sounds like
in all likelihood other people who work there have too it seems to be that this is a known
paranormal situation yeah there's i mean there's been a number of cases which i didn't even include
uh just for time's sake but yeah the fact that it's it has all these rumors about it. The monks, the children talking to Annabelle. This duel that went wrong.
I mean, there's so much history, dark history, just embedded in the walls of this place
that it makes perfect sense that this would become a haunted location.
Especially with kids, you know, kids talking to ghosts.
Because that's the thing, right?
Is that people believe that when we were kids, we could see everything.
See demons.
And as you get older, you kind of lose that ability.
Yeah, that kids are more connected somehow to the spirit realm because they've just come from there.
Yeah.
Within recent times.
And maybe that's why we can't remember stuff from being kids as well.
It's because we're kind of, I don't know, off with the fairies a bit.
Which I think is personally ridiculous you're telling me that billy over here the guy that can't even say
his own name just who's just shat in his own pants he can see a demon and i can't you're trying to
tell me that well you're wearing black house shades so you can't see anything right now i'm
just like in a kindergarten full leather trench coat neo glasses oh yeah you
guys can see demons how about you count to five i'll do that for you right now one two four
sorry i i got that wrong uh the numbers are on the board in the kindergarten behind me
uh sorry i'm stressed i just i feel like there's a demon in the room could you kids tell me if
there's oh could you kids tell uncle rory if there's a demon in the room none of them are
listening brick at your head hey you little shit the only thing with the kids and the reason i ask
what age they are is because it is entirely possible if you think of this as a kind of
scientific experiment we don't know if this is a closed experiment we don't know if these
kids have been told about annabelle before maybe this is a storytelling exercise the parents might
have said hey this is the history of this building isn't that fun little timmy yeah a little girl
called annabelle used to live in this very room isn't that cute anyway night night uh and then
we know that kids sometimes have imaginary friends maybe they simply combine
those two things very true very true because i mean they could have used it uh tomino's hell
style where it's like oh yeah little billy uh remember to eat your vegetables or annabelle
will throw you out the highest window of the the house they might have it kind of reminds me of um
oh you haven't you haven't seen hill house have you haunting of hill house no i mean that's great i mean that's like a paranormal story that
all takes place around this one house and the dark history there and there's some imaginary friends
there's some ghosts there's a lot of this sort of stuff going on right i mean the conclusion of that
was that yeah the house was haunted as shit it was ghosts leaking out the walls um but i don't know if that's where we're
gonna come down on today and yet we must conclude so let's look at our evidence exhibit a a whole
video and documentary of paranormal stuff happening by tv's most haunted who granted we have
completely disproven all of their evidence before we We have our email from our listener, Swan Levitt.
Granted, it's not even him that was there.
It was his brother.
So that's secondhand, right?
But is that enough?
Is that enough paranormal juice?
I mean, we have years and years of paranormal stuff happening at this place, but very little
photographic evidence very
little video evidence outside of this documentary i think that's what i need here is this this would
be very very interesting if maybe a kids maybe visited with no prior knowledge imagine a kid
visiting from a different part of the country never been to the isle of wight never been to
this castle and they arrived and they started running around the hedge going,
oh, hey, Annabelle.
Now that would be something else.
Yeah.
But the fact that these kids live in the premises,
as far as I understand,
means there's a good chance that they already know about Annabelle,
which doesn't mean that they're not communicating
with the dead spirit of Annabelle,
who's thrown out the tower.
But it's a difficult leap when we know that
even the legend of Annabelle being thrown out of the tower
isn't a historical record.
Yeah, the word legend and legend states
was used quite a few, enough times while reading up in this case
that it made me a little iffy.
Got it.
I think what we really need here is, if it is possible, Swan,
to clarify, maybe from your brother or maybe you know yourself,
whether or not these kids had heard the legend of Annabelle
before they started talking about seeing this ghost named Annabelle.
I think that would really, that would push the needle definitely
towards the direction of a yes a little more for me personally but until then we must conclude kit where are you where is your hammer of judgment
coming down on this week a bit like derrick acora in that clip uh as soon as you ask me what my
conclusion is i'm going to slowly pass out right here in the chair and refuse to answer.
I think it's going to have to be a no by default for now.
I think I'm right there with you.
We're close.
We got so much paranormal evidence here, but none of it, none of it is that silver bullet we need to take down this beast.
What, Annabelle?
That's ghosts, silver bullets silver bullet is a ghost golden knife is a werewolf titanium ak is dracula i think i think
these are just call of duty unlockables the 420 weed skin takes down sasquatch but wow what a case unfortunately i know this week but
thank you so much to swan levitt for emailing in his case guys we love investigating your own
stories even if they're a big old no so uh remember to email in your stories to this paranormal life
podcast at gmail.com and you can have kit and myself the two
most prestigious paranormal investigators take on your case personally pro grata i don't know what
that means pro grata pro gratification i still don't know moving on god i just talked about how
professional we were you don't know the phrase pro grata. Jesus Christ.
So you can get me the professional
and kit this child, I guess.
Quick sidebar.
Investigate, yeah.
What is professional?
We say that a lot.
I don't know what it actually means.
You don't know what the word professional means?
I mean, I have like a ballpark guess.
That's ridiculous.
But like not exactly that's
i don't need to keep this in obviously but i think you're actually illiterate
what is what is illiterate to ask i hate to ask what it what is illiterate that is what you are
it's a long word that's the word you are fine if it's me but what is it it means you don't know
words you must have known it don't look at me like that you must means you don't know words. You must have known it.
Don't look at me like that.
You must have known.
Don't you nod your head.
All I said was you don't know words.
What word did you not know from that sentence?
Word?
I honestly hate to ask.
I hate to be that guy.
You don't know the word word.
I'm not used to an S being on the end.
Like I've heard word before.
But not words?
No.
I was going to tell you that's the plural version, but I'm assuming plural.
You don't know the word plural?
Plural is some kind of soup.
But you know, so you know what soup is.
That shit's delicious.
You know delicious?
You know so many very specific words that soup is exquisite
soup is exquisite it is the finest cuisine that i love to consume thank you so much uh for emailing
in and thank you so much everyone for listening i hope you enjoyed this week's episode of this
paranormal life a ghost story we don't get a lot of ghost stories i don't have a ghost story in a minute i like to keep a good balance all the
different paranormal genre yeah a bit of cryptid a bit of boogies a bit of um conspiracies and
aliens and ufos and if you want all of those spookies the best place to to discuss them all
is on facebook at our secret society the this paranormal life secret
society the key word uh to enter is because it's supposed to be on the down low but we do want you
to tell your friends obviously and invite everyone because it's a party you know and there are it's
it's very secret very select there are thousands of people in there at this point yeah and like
the news is picking up on it a couple places are they're throwing around the c word the four letter
c word all right cult i'm gonna say it i said get it out there let's get it out of there let's air
all these grievances come on it is not a cult unless cult means a like-minded group of people all gathered in a field uh to form some
sort of dangerous religious um uh ideological driven cataclysmic destructive dangerous society and if that's what that's what makes us a cult yeah call us a
fucking cult we're a cult but until then it's just a commune baby of happy like-minded of what i said
the cataclysmic before all the dangerous all the dangerous stuff yeah just a group of happy people
so come along it's not a cult it's definitely not a cult uh it's a
great time to meet a bunch of friends and find out about amazing things like our patreon the this
paranormal life patreon where if the paranormal well is a little dry and you're in that sahara
you're looking for a little just a drop a drop of bigfoot you know we got an ocean of paranormal shit for you to ingest we are talking a whole backlog of
bonus episodes um it's how we support the show and keep this this crazy train this ghost train
running um so definitely check that out and also if you do support us on patreon as you know you
get a very special shout out at the end of our show so thank you to james caswell james mike caswell have handed me a lottery
ticket because he just dumped a buttload of cash in the patreon bucket i like i didn't i'm just
reading it uh reading your screen via the mirror uh so it's all backwards but am i right to assume
three bill i didn't want to say it on the cast,
but we're in the billy club.
We're in the three comma club.
Tres comas.
Tres comas!
James, you shouldn't have.
I mean, really, you shouldn't have.
We are going to do bad things with this money.
Oh, yeah.
We're not going to be Bill Gateses of the world
curing malaria.
I mean, I weirdly want to know what animal fighting is like now.
Like immediately, that's my first thought.
What's it like to make animals fight each other?
That was my go-to too.
As well.
Along with...
I mean, you wanted to do that while we were poor, which was a little weird.
Yeah, well, I thought we couldn't afford food.
So I thought we'd just, you know, fight the animals, eat the victors. Yeah, but I want to make animals fight. No, I don't want't afford food. So I thought we just you know fight the animals eat the victors
Yeah, but I want to make animals fight. No, I don't want to actually strangle a goat. Look
I'm gonna keep the money in my account. Don't worry about it. I'll trickle some down to kit
What do you mean trickle down isn't a great phrase to use? I'll give him a little pocket money every month
But as long as I get today's calm ass, I'm happy you're not
pocket money every month hey as long as i get tres comas i'm happy you're not you're not getting thanks also to amy grizzdale that's right amy grizzly grizzdale if you want to talk to an
animal fighting expert amy's the one she's been a billionaire since the mid 90s wow and she of course got quickly into the uh very prestigious high class sport that is
uh mauling dogs against each other you know it's the old saying you don't get into the billy club
without strangling a few animals so uh amy i'm glad to hear you're doing so well for yourself
hopefully those days are behind you but but who cares? You're rich.
Thanks also to Thayden Goguen Bogdanis.
There's Poseidon, lord of the ocean, and then Thayden.
Whoa.
King of the mud.
Holy shnikes.
They don't talk about him much because, you know, there's not a lot of mud on Earth.
And it kind of dries up and just becomes soil
so his land is always kind of fluctuating sometimes he's got a bit and then it dries
right like if it rains he gets a kingdom oh yeah maybe a couple days yeah mud slides that's him
that's him that's his peak that's as much as he can do is like a mud slide thanks for slinging a
little mud our way thideniden. Oh, appreciated.
Yeah, appreciate those mud pies.
You could do a mud mask. That's
good for your skin. That's great for your skin.
Thanks, Thiden. Thanks to Liam
Remington. Liam, Liam
wouldn't want to be him.
Because this SOB is being hunted
by the MIBs.
Holy shit. That's right. They always talk about
where the Roswell UFO crashed.. They always talk about where the Roswell UFO
crashed. They don't talk about
where the Roswell alien crashed.
That son of a bitch landed
in Liam's back
garden. Oh, I thought you were saying
Liam was the f***ing grey
in bold. No, no, no. Liam has had
to put up with this alien grey
living in his house
for the last, 60 years 70 years right
i know wouldn't want to be him liam worst housemate ever terrible he keeps saying yeah i'm
gonna fix it i'm gonna go back and fix it it's been years i'm old you haven't aged a day little
gray but i'm old now so liam i hope that son of a bitch eventually moves out and gets his act together.
But hang in there, buddy.
Thanks also to Simon Logan.
Simon's into miming where he takes out a little invisible wallet.
And he takes out a little coin.
And he drops that coin in the bucket of the paranormal peasants.
Which is cool because it looks really
amazing but um simon we need real money we do otherwise we're gonna have to mime a bonus episode
back to you which takes as long as recording a real episode so long so mime and simon thank you
for the support we appreciate the real money and the my money the mimey the bowmine thanks also to
dylan dwyer dylan dwyer is killing fire that's right you've
heard of a firefighter but have you ever heard of a fire killer no there's not a lot of there's
been one dylan dylan oh they rolled up to the burning house blasting it with their hoses but
dylan put on a pair of knuckle dusters and just jumped into the building swinging punches
wildly at the flames they had to rescue him obviously he suffocated almost instantly from
the smog he dropped to the floor shattering a bunch of the family's valuables on the way down
he like swiped a whole casket full of fabergé eggs. But he went down swinging, literally.
We'll always clap out some vigilante justice here in the pod.
That's good stuff.
Good stuff.
Thanks also to Darcy Drake.
Darcy Drake?
Could it be the multi-award winning recording artist Drake is a patron of This Paranormal Life?
You need to stop getting
excited every time you see the name holy shite i can't believe he's taking the time out of his
hectically busy recording and touring schedule just to chime a couple bucks into the buckets
of the paranormal peasants you must know this isn't the drake He must have heard some of Rory's previous freestyles on the cast and just wanted a piece of the puzzle.
This is like when you got really excited when we were sponsored by Jason Nelly.
Of course.
You thought it was the rapper Nelly.
Who else?
How many other people do you know called Nelly?
There's quite a few, honestly.
Really?
But Darcy, if you are Drake himself
rap twice
to let us know.
Thanks also to Mark Abrahams.
Mark
ate a hams.
That's right. Mark ate an entire
ham. Now I know what you're thinking.
He ate a whole roast pig.
No he ate a whole live pig.
What? Live. squirming about curly
tail and all how big is mark abraham's he's worryingly small he is a very small he's about
the size of a pig four foot nothing yeah it was it just doubled his body mass uh he caught the
thing and just went to town which hey we have fought and strangled a lot of
animals to get to the top yeah so mark if you gotta eat a pig to get to the billy club then
eat a freaking billy goat and become the goat mark do what you gotta do we need that on one of those like you know like uh instagram inspirational
like scenes thanks also to jenny hendy jenny hendy the girl who's worryingly bendy you know
people say can you bend down and touch your toes she can bend down and touch her nose. Full 360 all the way around.
Grab her own face.
It is incredible.
She's like a human.
A human.
Why can't I think of anything that curls around?
That's bendy.
Yeah.
A human stick.
No.
No.
Like a human board.
No.
That's definitely not bendy.
A human.
Anything but that.
Anything bendy at all.
Anything stretchy. Not really. A bendy. A human. Anything but that. Anything bendy at all. Anything stretchy.
A whale.
Not really.
A human whale.
No.
Not really.
A little bit bendy.
It should be easy, shouldn't it?
Yeah, it should be anything.
It should be super simple.
She's super bendy like a...
Bored.
Did I say...
No, you already said,
**** is definitely not bored.
Right.
Like a... Well, we'll just say she's
super bendy like a flexible board that's the only that's as far as i'm gonna get i'll be honest with
you so thank you so much for your support um hope medical science figures that one out
exactly at some point thank you to jen kens oh you thought you thought Jenny Handy was bendy? You should see Jen Kenz bends.
What?
She can bend around twice,
miss the nose and back to the toes.
What?
She says bendy is a f***ing board.
Was there some sort of bend-related accident
that these people were involved with?
I've never heard of this condition.
I think they were involved in some sort of accident
involving the
the rack you know the medieval uh torture device the rack it wasn't a glorious uh um incident you
know but like a lot of superheroes you know the thing that makes them super is is quite painful
and traumatic god well hopefully things are looking up since being on a medieval torture
rack that's for sure yeah and if it isn't looking up just bend
backwards thanks also to nathan vigil nathan vigil the vigilante uh he is on the run absolutely um
vigilante as we talked about big fan of them on the podcast they're not really qualified as a
thing to kind of bring people to justice they just have weapons yeah that's
more or less it which is great it's very dad squad of you i'm behind it a hundred percent if you
haven't had a child yet nathan you should really consider having a child for um entry into the dad
squad absolutely that's pretty much the only qualification you need is a child and a gun and lastly but not leastly thanks so much to
paul wait paul as in p as in p diddy p diddy listens to our podcast p diddy drake tupac
they're all here which seems so unlikely because as we covered on a bonus episode tupac is
dead 100 dead however p diddy still around so this is very likely and i had no idea his name
was paul diddy this this whole time paul diddler aka p diddy for short. Paul Didler III. Shorten his name to P. Diddy for the rapping clout.
And, wow, Paul Didler.
I'm so happy to have your support on this show.
To play us out this week, we've got a brand new song from myself and Kit.
That's right.
As many of you know, we don't just podcast together.
We make music together in our band Team RKT.
We just released our first single of the year called Working Sundays, which you can stream
online right now.
Hope you enjoy. Tell me where that I'm supposed to be Cause I've been running from the very start
But towards the end of where I started
It's hard to say that I'll be alright
So I won't say anything
Cause when the days are over
You see that I'm not the person that I used to be
Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah, I've been working Sundays
And though you get a little closer the moment's gone, yeah, the city's got a piece of me
Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah, I've been working Sundays, yeah I've been working Sundays
Can anybody in this old town
Tell me who that I'm supposed to be
Cause I've been looking out for road signs
Driving where I'm not supposed to be
And everybody on the sidelines
You say you gotta promise that you won't leave
So I can run it through the red lights
Just so I know
Cause when the day's all over
You see that I'm not the person that I used to be
Cause I've been working Sundays, Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays
And though you get a little close
When the moment's gone, yeah
The city's got a piece of me
And I've been working Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays, days
Standing on the outside Making Sundays, days
Standing on the outside
I'm running from my rights to my fault
Just tell me I'll be alright
Tell me nothing at all Cause I've been looking out for road signs Driving where I'm not supposed to be
So I keep running from the headlights
Just so I know
Cause when the day's all over
You see that I'm not the person that I used to be
Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays
And though you get a little closer
The moment's gone, yeah
The city's got a piece of me
Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays, days
Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays
Cause I've been working Sundays, yeah
I've been working Sundays, days
Sundays, days
I've been working Sundays
I've been working, working, working, working
Yeah, I've been working Sundays, days Thanks for watching!