TigerBelly - Episode 181: Krystyna Hutchinson & The Power Move

Episode Date: February 13, 2019

Krystyna gives the edge to Lifetime. Bobo recalls Amsterdam. We talk incels, cowboys, angels, Panera Bread, and Clint Eastwood’s hands.Watch Bobby on ABC's Splitting up Together TUESDAYS 9:...30/8:30cBonus content every Monday:https://www.patreon.com/TigerBellySupport us by supporting our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening ad-free on Wondery plus You Was my face so fucking wide today Today some days that your face is why is why it doesn't look wide, but it's like I don't you know you're Filipino I can't hear myself. Oh my god You can take mine. I'm not I'm not even close to my period how's this happening it's cuz I Filipinos have big faces
Starting point is 00:00:50 It's like a big I like this like a big foot thing. Why am I hairy That'd be fun a hairless Cat those cats yeah, we call those Devon shires or sphinx is sphinx. Yeah. Yeah, like a butthole. Yeah They look like buttholes You ready are you ready sir, just give me a second here. Let's get my mind Get my mind in the zone of You know all the things that are gonna be happening. Mm-hmm. I won't talk about in cells. Okay. You heard of that about them
Starting point is 00:01:39 Oh, yeah, I am one Yeah, I'm gonna come when I am going to like make my case you chocolate inside of your mouth before you start on the incels Like a true it's seafood See we oh seaweed. It's seaweed. Okay, and I'll keep it on my face. So don't get that wrong. Yeah, it's seaweed Okay, I guess whenever you're ready five slow down though for exactly three, I love it two, uh-huh one Welcome to another uh, yeah, welcome to another episode of Tiger Valley. I am your captain Bobby Lee. I am I am
Starting point is 00:02:31 Um shaped differently than most other humans. Hmm. Okay. I have the body of Asian foods I've been told. Oh, wow dumplings ball fish balls to a boba Right the ball the boba, right? And I don't give a fuck. Yeah, it's what cow. God made me And I don't I don't screw away from the fact. All right, we've got Aryan whites in the room like this fuck right here right here Harry and yeah, he's a fucking forced white. He's he is he is a fucking he has an axe, right? Yeah, he likes to chop wood, but no, no, no, and you kill minorities. You didn't let me finish In the back in the day you would you would Fucking pedophile white band and also you're un-fuckable
Starting point is 00:03:18 Pure and simple dude out of whites. I love you though. Thanks for coming Okay, I love you. Thanks for coming and this is he's more genetically better I don't want to explain to me later, but what that means. Okay, and then we've got um, you know You helped me with that audition yesterday. Yeah And I really you know when you were helping me and you're being very patient with me and clear and when it was when I had Takes that were good. I can tell that you like them Yeah, we never lie and That's why I love you and
Starting point is 00:03:49 Then we've got here to my left She's got a big head, but you know that means she has a big brain and that means that she's smart Wow wide face a wide face outside my bed Yeah, yeah, let me let me She's got a wide face and that means she's a small brain and I like it But my beautiful princess and I almost killed the animals the other day By accident and it was really he got to the breaking point, but we're back We're good together, okay, and I want to say something right now
Starting point is 00:04:23 Um our guest I want to say a couple things about our guest is is that? You know, um You know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know when Tiger Belly was you know a baby Yeah, and we needed we needed some help for plug plugaroo plugaroo They had me on theirs and they have a very successful podcast. It's called guys. We fucked and Also when I found out about the podcast they're in New York So I'm like, I'll never be able to do it anyway, right? But magically they did it in that summer in LA Wow, they they brought me on she's also an author, right?
Starting point is 00:04:58 But I just want to I've also done some of her live shows correct. Yeah, and I just want to say that um You know when you don't know somebody and they help you You know we talk about Schindler a lot Schindler. Yeah from the Schindler's not not Schindler's and not Liam He's not Liam. He's not Liam. He's a character of Schindler. Fuck Liam Neeson. Good white. Yeah, he was to her black people Yeah, but Schindler, right? He would put little sandwiches underneath the fence to feed the little ones, you know, right? And he got like what 20 of them out A lot a lot a lot and this this next lady Christina Hutchinson. Yep is that kind of where she's a Schindler
Starting point is 00:05:39 All right, give her a round of applause. Christina Hutchinson. You may talk now. Happy to be here Hey, I like your teeth a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. They're perfectly proportional Thanks. They're not overly like What was that? Whatever your face. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You have a really proportionally very good. Thank you. Yeah, and um, you're here What why? Uh meetings Yeah, I love Hollywood talk. Don't you know? I mean Some meetings I'm saying hi to my agent my lawyer
Starting point is 00:06:19 Are you pitching a show or what are you doing? Yeah, I'm working with a producer. It's like the 20th show Corinne and I have pitched It is I didn't know that yeah, the first time we ever had a pitch a show. I'm like, oh, we're gonna be on television I was like, we're gonna be in the Emmys next year Yeah, shut the fuck up and I was like, no, no, no people go to me all night. Like, why don't you pitch a show? Do you don't think I've Why don't you pitch? Yeah. Yeah, I did it. I did it. I got a deal and it was a year of a nightmare Right. So I'm then after that year. I was like and it didn't get picked up. Oh and people fuck your shit up Yeah, they fuck it up and they think they want the edge, but they won't ever take the risk
Starting point is 00:06:58 That's very knowledgeable so um, it's a very difficult process to go through. Oh, yeah We had a we had a direct to series deal with lifetime Because it was a while ago. Yeah, and we had a general with them That was the only time we met them and then our agent calls us and they're like they direct a series deal 20 episodes 20 episodes Maybe it was like yeah, they were like 8 to 20, but I think they only know whatever they landed on but uh, don't lie No, but it was somewhere around. It was it was even our agent was like. Yeah, I don't know. It's weird Wow, and then we started working with them and we pitched all these segments that were like, you know things that we would pitch
Starting point is 00:07:38 We knew that they were a little too edgy for a lifetime and then they were like radio silence Oh, that's the worst after we agreed to the terms via email the contract terms You know there wasn't a contract yet, and then then they're like Did they not do their research about what podcast what kind of pod or topics that you guys talk about you know Not many people we work with do they're so out of touch very the people up there are so out of touch But they're like people like you kind of oh, let's do it. Let's grab. Yeah. Yeah No one else grabs it. Yeah, and then they'll fuck with you for a little bit They'll keep you waiting and then to reject. Yeah, you know what?
Starting point is 00:08:11 It's so funny that you say that because I've always said this that there's a disconnect between You know these business people and Hollywood and the people that make decisions and what's happening on street level Right. So when you see when you hear somebody go to Montreal, you know, or somebody gets something a special You've never heard of them either New York or LA. They're out of like Lubbock Right or something right if they just don't know what you know, and then it's frustrating because I'll go into You know, I've been I mean, I'm not I'm average as an actor. I know an act, but I'm average, right? But I've been in some things, right? I don't know why I'm yelling. Yeah, right? But as a comic, I've done every comedy club in America around around the club
Starting point is 00:09:03 Checked all the box. Right. I checked all the boxes and I'll still go to an audition and they'll go They'll look at my resume and they go. Oh Well, you do stand up. Oh, are you to sketch or you do? Yeah? I was on a sketch for eight. Yes. He don't know you're on that team. Yeah, or I'll be on anything like even an executive Like I want to show now and I want to name names, but people have said We just know he was an actor. We don't know you just stand up, right? They just people don't know yeah, because in the stand-up world Bobby Lee like you're you're you're what? No, no, you are Everything you know
Starting point is 00:09:42 But if that's gotta be weird to not have that level of respect it's not that I just hate I just hate like the disconnect looks like like you and this lifetime situation It's like they should you they should have vetted you they should have they should be immerse themselves in To your point of view and what you do and when they don't and then they want a product out of you, right? And then when they actually get it, they don't understand it. Whoa. Yeah, don't open the door You know what our podcast is called. Yeah, your problem. Yeah, right Oh, yeah, it's crazy. How did you I because I you know, I wanted sometimes I'll be honest with you Christina I am a lot of times I could guess and I'll like Google the fuck and do research
Starting point is 00:10:28 But with you, I didn't feel like I needed to do that. I just wanted to ask So, um, how did your podcast start Quinn and I been with Quinn Fisher is my lover. She's fucking amazing. Thank God We are we are the opposite people, but she'll be in the room and she'll say Motherfucker, do you listen to our podcast like she doesn't say motherfucker, but she'll say have you listened to our show? And I'm like, oh, oh, that's not nice Corinne. Don't But she's right. She's always right. Yeah at the end We've been working together since 2010 as a comedy duo. Sorry about last night 2013 late 2013 is when we started guys. We fucked because she got dumped at a Panera bread
Starting point is 00:11:09 By somebody that she thought was a love of her life at the time Bread it's so she paid for it too. Yeah, we want to get Panera to sponsor our tour, but we're like family image And so the idea stemmed out of that out of a breakup and then it was it was it started out as like kind of a selfish Thought experiment of like let's talk to the people. We've been most intimate with to see what the fuck is up with us Right, and I was like, yeah, that's a fun excuse to talk to my exes make me feel creepy. Yeah, and then yeah It just started started there and then when did you know or did you is it was a gradual thing? Or did you go right away like people like this right away? That's amazing. There was a Daily Beast article
Starting point is 00:11:54 That got released four weeks into the podcast being out That was in the title was the podcast too hot for iTunes and my ex at the time just subscribe to their email list And we woke up one morning and he was like, oh my god, Christina You're on the Daily Beast email list and I was like, whoa, and then the number skyrocketed from from Very little numbers and then from there every article we got we never had a publicist until now But every article we got we would increase our listenership by we would double it And ten people tell ten people tell ten word of mouth is the best because then three people tell you to listen to something Yeah, it's at least gonna be in your brain. And then with the name guys who fucked you either hate it or you're curious or you're like
Starting point is 00:12:34 Yeah, I'm down either way. You're gonna listen to it. Yeah. Yeah Us not disappointing you when you listen to it is the rub, but yeah, that's that's how it started Did you get any pushback from like just staunch feminism feminist people or no not no not until we got way big That's when people start being nitpicky But we were shocked that no one was given a shit. Yeah, and then a couple years like a year or two in the incels Started writing about us and that made me happy There's this web. Yeah. Yeah, there's why do you say in cells in that way because that's what they are
Starting point is 00:13:12 They want to be fucking and they ain't fucking and they're very mad at that's what they call themselves, right? Yeah, which I'm like It's so funny that you said that and you just segwayed right into a thing that I wanted to talk about beautiful Um, my brother Steve people know my brother Steve my brother Steve has a girlfriend He's fucking You know and we're both not obviously not celibate and we get women but um And I have a beauty. I mean, I was like not only women. I may have a the most prettiest girl Yeah, let him inside me on occasion. Hey, you were on our podcast and you're like this is my girlfriend I was like, no way
Starting point is 00:13:51 Damn, but he always shows the pictures of when I had fake tits. Oh, I don't have them anymore I took them out. Oh, the pictures he shows people's always when I'm like boobs are hot regardless. Maybe I'm showing your soul That's really what it is through your kids through your kids Thank you at Gilbert Two windows to your soul, yeah Yeah, that's a song that's got to be a song two windows to your soul. It is. Yeah, it isn't it's two-titty So um, it's funny that you say that because the thing is is that my brother's been sending me YouTube videos of In cells last week. He he we were at dinner and he looks at me from across the dinner table and he goes
Starting point is 00:14:32 Hey, I don't want to bum you out, but you know, you're an incel, right? And I go, I don't know what I've never heard of that He goes, I'll tell you what and he had he had googled the definition and he goes, yeah, basically essentially it's men who are Celeb it that don't want to be celibate, right? And I go, yeah, but I'm not so he goes. I know but you had to use fame To get girls and I and that's that's really the honest truth at 23 before I met stand up, right?
Starting point is 00:15:06 I was I mean, I would get prostitutes But I never could get a regular girl. I would ask them out. They would not want to go out with me They don't want to touch me. I had girl friends. They I remember like even at work We go to a work party and people would hug the girl as a friend and they would no one would want to hug me I never want to say these Hawkins in high school. That's because you were just in their wrong environment No, no, no, no a predominantly very white middle-class School if you had been immersed in LA like if we went to high school together, I would have fucked the hell No, that's what you say
Starting point is 00:15:43 Let me describe my first boyfriend Josh when I first came to America my first boyfriend wrote a BMX He didn't have a fancy car. Yeah, super fucking fat. He had like one lazy eye. Whoa. Yeah, like he was a 200 She definitely would have fucked. Okay But he was like he was sort of funny and that was enough for me Right, I but it's I'm just saying what I was feeling on the inside That's interesting that he classifies you as an in-cell recovering in recovery, but you had girlfriends You said right you've had in high school. You had a girlfriend. You mentioned no, no No friends that were girls that were all friend a friend. Okay, but they would stare at for six hours at a time
Starting point is 00:16:27 Oh, yeah, like I went to rehab and I met this girl named Tara black and rehab Mm-hmm, and so I was going to a meetings and stuff back in the day So I still do but but that back back then and I used to spend the night at her house Cuz she's she said live in a condo by my parents store in Encinitas And I would spend the night and I was a junior in high school and while she was asleep I would stare at her toes for eight hours. Well, at least he didn't touch her. I know But if I would have touched it she would have kicked me out Why is that intimate touching a lady's toe while she's asleep
Starting point is 00:17:06 This little piggy went to the Waking up to well you might like it That's the annoying part of this argument. I went to rehab, right? Yeah, and one day you're like, hey, you know We went to that meeting. It's late. You want to just spend it at my house and Then at four in the morning you wake up and you're pinkie-toe, and I'm just doing this with your This is your pinkie-toe, right? Yeah, it's not I'm not pushing hard and I'm just go I'm just giving a little massage. Yeah, what would you say if it was you and me now like but like you I'd be like What the fuck you doing Bobby? I wouldn't kick you out of my house, right?
Starting point is 00:17:43 But back in high school. I would have been like at the fuck out of my house. Wow. That's why I didn't do that. Yeah No very sexual for a lot of people, you know, they have wick of feet for you know Oh, I get Google alerts on like Christina Hutchinson's feet. I'm like, what the fuck they take a picture Someone cropped it. No. Oh, yeah, but I don't care. Yeah, you don't care and jerk off to my feet You know what that's what's gonna make you come. Yeah, sure, but I would I wouldn't masturbate not right then Oh by looking at their girls toes, but later at home to not to like no I would just like a lay in bed and high and high you know when I was in high school Memorize, so you have a toe you do have a toe fetuses is back then her kid. You have to understand this chick
Starting point is 00:18:27 Toes were sexy as fuck What's described sexy as they just look like little they don't even look human. They look like a doll like a baby's foot Yes Yeah, like just a yeah feet are great. They're so cute But as an adult an adult portion, I imagine that cute turns into sexy Yes, I get that and also I had never seen a human vagina. Oh So the feet was like you saw a fake one. No, I would look at them through magazines and be a but not live Right, right. Yeah, I never toyed a live show when was the first time I had all the albums when you say live vagina
Starting point is 00:19:03 For the first time. Oh, I can't say his name, but There was a farmer Remember the farmer. Yeah. Yeah, I used to work on a farm. Wait Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't bring his name up because yeah, so this farmers this farmer, right? I've talked about him before and he he brought me to I was 17 and he brought me to Mexico to Yeah, to get it in yet. Yeah, stick it in and I did go. Um, I was a hard worker and on his farm and Now you knew the purpose of this trip was to stick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I also sell corn. That's it
Starting point is 00:19:38 Yeah, they sold corn Very underrated but um But so um, but he now is in the city council Wait, well, don't be specific. I know. I know but he's also a A clergyman and he called me and he goes, I don't know how he got my number. I haven't talked to him 40 years Well, what what when I was 17 how old was I how long ago was that? 47 so 30 years 30 years ago 30 years. Wow. He goes. Hey, I don't know if you'll remember me because he has an accent What what kind of Asian? I don't know. I don't know if you'll remember me at all
Starting point is 00:20:15 I remember I take it to brothel, but um He goes, but I have a I'm a part of the clergy and on city council and have grandkids And all my grandkids call me say you talk about me I apologize, but you know what's so funny what he did Then I go, I'll never talk to you about again and then 10 minutes later calls me back He then made a call Saying oh, congratulations. I saw everything. You know what I mean? So he made that call after that, which is a little weird to me separate calls
Starting point is 00:20:51 I love a great guy. Well, I mean That's not gonna, you know, ever Christina. Do you have a similar story? I had sex with a prostitute recently I had sex with a prostitute you did. Yeah Wait a man a man a male How does that work? So, uh, the gnome dormant the the owner of the comedy cellar He uh, we were on his podcast the live at the table. I think is what it's called and uh, He goes women. Why would a woman want a male prostitute? And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa I would totally fuck a male prostitute. That's amazing. I don't got to worry about anything
Starting point is 00:21:24 And he's like if you are ever single because I was in a relationship at the time Come down here and I will pay for you to have a high-end prostitute and like the next day after I broke up with I'm like Wow, and yeah, and do you get to pick? Oh, yeah So there was how many how many how many options were there? There's a bunch so I I think I could say this I've said it before and no one's yelled at me yet Cowboys for Angels is the website. Oh They're male
Starting point is 00:21:53 Their job is not to have sex with you That's mates very clear in the email But uh, and I'm very like nervous. I like I'm a rule follower So when I called well, first of all, I called the company and a lady answered and then there was a baby crying in the background I was like, this isn't a good time. This feels very strange. She was no, no, no Just give me one second. She called me back and she's you know, which which guy do you want? And I picked a guy. He was like, well, he he's traveling for the summer. I was like, he's on tour Okay, so I was just browsed and I was like, okay that guy and she goes, okay
Starting point is 00:22:25 Yeah, yeah, and then I got him for three hours because I needed to be I needed to get to know him for What's the approximate price range here? A thousand dollars for three hours. It's not bad at all. Yeah Right. What's what's the percentage that he he has to give out to angels and I don't know $200 deposit that I paid via credit card and then I gave him the $800 cash amazing And then while we were fucking the cash, but he like had his pants down It was these and the cash like fell out. So like when he left five minutes later. He knocked on my door again He's like, I forgot the envelope I need to know so I want to so beginning to end you got to walk us through it walk through walk through
Starting point is 00:23:06 So okay, so he comes over. I'm real I when the woman confirmed the appointment. I was like, so what should I do with him? Yeah, I don't want to you know, and she was like, you can do whatever, you know, some women, um, they'll do yoga with our with our cowboys Um, they'll they'll take them to an event and I was like, what if I just want to go get drinks and then hang out at my house? She's like, yeah, you can do that too. Wow. So he came over and he was very handsome And he was young gurr. Well, I'm 30. I'm 30 and uh, he's probably like 26 27 Like I could tell he's a little younger and um, really sweet guy, but I was like, please let there be something in there
Starting point is 00:23:46 Because I can't fucking dumb dumb Uh, and uh, and so I was like, so I I picked out my friend Jeff who like knows all the good bars in New York City I'm like, what what's a bar? I could take a prostitute out for cocktails And he told me the bar. He's like, this is the bar. I'm like, perfect. And he was right. He was it was a great Bar was sexy. It was you know, but it was low key whatever And so I started interviewing him. Well, we got drinks and I had I paid for the cab I paid for the drinks and that was actually really nice because the um, the ex I was seeing was weird with money
Starting point is 00:24:15 And I I don't like when guy like I just I hated that and I gave me a lot of anxiety Wait, wait, wait. So your ex always wanted to pay? um It was more like I met him when I was broke like dirt broke like couldn't even like negative money Yeah, and that would get more negative by the day because if you don't add money to it, it keeps getting negative I was in one of those situations. Yeah, and uh, and I think he was taking care of me financially Uh, not fully but a lot But he knew that if we wanted to do something, he had to pay for it and I kind of think he he grew to be very comfortable in that role
Starting point is 00:24:46 And then I started making money and then I started making more money than him And that was weird for him Really? Yeah, because I think it's also a matter of what if he feels useful in that financial relationship Or he's like, this is what I can offer her. Yeah providing. Yeah, and all of a sudden you're on your own weekend. Yeah She bought me for Christmas A $2,500 leather jacket. Nice Right, and I'm going to say something right now In the past it would have been like 15 years ago. I don't know how I'd feel about that
Starting point is 00:25:16 But I almost fucking cried. That's the greatest gift And not because of the price, but I know that she did the effort And she she researched and got something that I never thought I could ever have meaningful Something meaningful and I like that. Yeah. Anyway, move on. So now you're at the bar, right? So I paid for the uber. I paid for the drinks. It was no question because that's the setup in that situation. I was like, oh, this is nice to have to pay And there's not he didn't even wince. Wow. I was like, yeah, god damn it And we and we talked and I was I was trying to find if he was like kind of fucked up But he truly didn't seem fucked up. Right. I was really searching really digging and and then I was like, okay
Starting point is 00:25:54 Was he kind of I just I need to know ethnicity ethnicity Um He wasn't white. I'll say that that's great. Um, that makes it even better. I honestly that makes it so much better the story Well, because I'm not what am I gonna fuck a white guy? I want to get the raise. Yeah, but she can't she wasn't telling Yeah, I don't want it. Yeah, actually. Okay. So you said anything I don't want to talk about. I guess that one I'll tell you all fair. I'll tell you all about it. Okay. Yeah, um, but uh, but uh, uh, yeah And then I was like, I guess I was kind of thinking we can come back to to my place And he goes sure and I was like, do you like stand-up comedy? He's like, yeah
Starting point is 00:26:30 I was who's your favorite comic? He's like Dave Chappelle. So he went back to my place rolled a blunt and uh put on I put on a Chappelle's special and uh, and he was trying to teach me how to french inhale And I didn't know how to do it at the time. So in trying to learn I got so fucking high That I was just being more honest and not careful with my words And I'm like, so how do you know like can I just ask you to fuck me or is that like we're Yeah, no tact, but I didn't care for the first time in my life because I was like I'm like, I don't pay any to be here. I don't I don't gotta be ladylike freedom I don't have to pretend to be yes my version of sexy. It really was free. It truly was amazing and then he uh,
Starting point is 00:27:10 Picked me up. We were having sex and then he he's like he goes put your You can't just go from high To pick me up. He picked you up. So okay. So I so he was on the cow. I have a big living room He was on the couch and I was on this chair very far away from him And I was like, how do you know if the woman wants to have sex with you? And I told us to grant crew and it's like you're paying him to have sex with you I think that's how he knows you want to have sex with right? But he was like, you know, and I was like, have you ever had a client where you they wanted to fuck you and you were like
Starting point is 00:27:41 And he goes absolutely and I was like, what's the ratio and he said 70 30 30 percent I don't want to fuck but I was like, do you fuck him anyway? And he goes, yeah And I was like, yo Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I was like, how do you know the girl wants to have sex you like and she well He's like, well, usually they're sitting closer to me. And then that's when I realized I was sitting on the Like farthest away physically that I could have possibly been your bedroom. Yeah, I was against the wall He was on the other side like I had to speak. I had to like project And then I was and he goes like sit next to me and I was like, oh god, it's happening
Starting point is 00:28:16 Yeah, I said that out loud and um, but I didn't care. I'm so self-conscious when I'm with a guy that I'm trying to fuck And I and I I've not had sex with him yet And I didn't have that and uh, and then he started fingering me. That was great Um When is there no you do full make out make out or no. Do you blow him? I blew him with a condom on and then I was like, why am I doing this? I don't gotta do this I'll pay you He didn't give a shit. Yeah, and uh, and then um, and then he fingered me and then we started to have sex
Starting point is 00:28:47 He was starting to fuck me on the couch And then he told me he's like put your arms around my neck and I was like, okay What's and he was like over me and I'm sitting on the couch and he goes hang on And he picks me up and walks me around the living room bouncing me up and down his dick and I was like as it was happening I was like living my best life So And then I came and I came and then we took a break and then I was like you can go And he left and I was like, I don't feel guilty for not getting him. He didn't come
Starting point is 00:29:25 But he was so hard, but I was like, yeah, you can go out. I'm good. I'm good You've done your duty. Did you like high five him or you're like, I did high five him and I said he should teach a class Yes, yeah, yeah, sometimes I'm overly complimentary to the men. I'm fucking. I don't know why it's like a people-pleaser thing I have but uh, but I did he was good. He was very good. You know, I don't like him Why because he's now sets a precedence. Yeah for other fucking male guys to pick people. I don't want to travel. Fuck that's right I've said the best guy's gonna be like you guys they pick me up. He's like, I don't do that. That's what iron did that I don't I think the girls are pretty reasonable with our expectations. I just admitted something that he's black Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:05 Right, but it was a tyrone and I fucking know he wasn't white. It was a career. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I think that You know, we we manage our expectations of every guy when we assess him physically like when I met you I knew that you were never gonna carry me over the threshold after our wedding. What gave that away? You could though very interesting I've had sex with many people since and I've not been picked up, but I don't I'm not gonna ask for that But if you want to do that and you volunteer it, I know you're gonna be good at it. Yeah, right? That's my thing Would you do it again? Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:43 Yeah, I'm fucking now. So I'm good. Yeah. I can't go I can't go a long time without sex It makes me feel like not a human Ah, so you so this is a place that if you know because you have the money Yeah, a grand is a lot of money, but you you know You can do it. Oh, I could yeah, I always talk about this in the previous podcast I said, why don't we have like a rub and tug for women? I if there was a massage par that would be there Fingered the woman at the end. I would be there every fucking day me too every day getting fingered on a massage table
Starting point is 00:31:17 That's a porn I watch. Do you care if it's a man or a woman though? Uh, I mean Preferably a man and honestly, I don't really even need to see his face. He could be headless Yeah, oh, I caught a massage once from this guy It was at a really nice spa and I and I it was the most sexual massage I've ever gotten And I was like hoping my nipple would come out of the towel and I was like, is he gonna finger me right now? So sexual and I was and I was like mad and I almost like Grabbed him. I didn't like I wanted to and I was like, I've never felt that before my question to you ladies though is
Starting point is 00:31:47 Does it now if you're getting a massage? Does he have to be hot? No, I said headless. I don't have to just he can wear he can wear a mask So it could be it could be a 70 year old. I don't care Armenian man Well, you can tell by his hands, sweetie hands give away your age being in cell right So his hand look like you're good at fingering and massaging and you're so I don't give a fuck Yeah, same if it was Clint Eastwood's hand Sure, right? It was like shaking because of old eggs, right?
Starting point is 00:32:16 That's a vibrator for sure. That's a vibrator. Yeah, and he sticks his hand inside you and you can hear like a little crack Like the bones just like I just break inside your foot You're finger in my pussy, bro Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah So it's got to be someone that's relatively strong Who knows what he's doing and then the face it doesn't matter. Yeah I don't I don't I don't think so. I don't think so because the amount of floor foreplay that would go into like a I would want like a foot like a 30 minute massage and then the fingering
Starting point is 00:32:47 You could be I don't even care I don't give a fuck. I mean I prefer I prefer it to be a man like you were saying but uh If it was a chick, I'm like, okay, why don't they have that? There's god. It's kind of sure it exists There's this guy in new york city. I googled it That sounds so sketched. There's this guy. There's a new york times article about him. I forget his name But he basically fingers women He makes women and he's in his late 40s. Apparently the the the journalist described it as just not very attractive kind of overweight Whatever, but he's really good with his hand. I'm like, I'll go to that guy and his fingers
Starting point is 00:33:20 He doesn't use um anything he can use toys if you want and I'm like, wow that is a deal What a service. I would totally get that. Yeah, I would totally does that mean but hygiene is important Hygiene is super like if you saw the fingers and it was like a little dirt kicked underneath that. Oh my god Yeah, that's terrible. Oh, that's terrible But that's why I like with the sex or like sex workers are some of the cleanest people because that's their job If you require that you shower, you know how like a lot of girls require that the men shower. Yeah, he didn't If he would have I wouldn't be like, fuck you Even though that's a fair question
Starting point is 00:33:52 When I was in Thailand, um I was in Thailand. I was from Thailand shooting a movie right with michelle yow. Yeah, michelle yow was in this movie, right? You shouldn't say michelle yow Who's a Chinese legend in the same breath as you fucking like getting your assie? I'm never gonna see her again. Okay, and then um So I had days off Right because I was I was like athlete on this fucking movie, right? And so and I didn't know anybody so I would just sit there in the lobby of this hotel For hours and just sit there and watch people drink coffee
Starting point is 00:34:24 Maybe I'd write a little bit, you know, but I had nothing to do And these two executives from the korean movie company one day walks by me and they go Bobby And I go, yeah, and they go You know what juk juk means in korean? Let's go fuck Yeah, juk juk. It's yeah, and and I asked them. Why do you say juk juk? And they said that's what it sounds like when you have sex Pretty close, which is not juk juk. Yeah. Yeah I know pound pound pound pound. Yeah
Starting point is 00:34:54 Hey, if I heard juk juk when I was having sex I would stop. Yeah, I'd be like are you like what the fuck god bless you Stop sneezing. Yeah. Yeah. Goosene type Are you a seizure? So they take me this place called um Amsterdam Amsterdam and um, that was the story very well, right? That way I've told the story right many times. Um a lot to me. Yeah. Yeah. I like to hurt. It's a bed night It's a go-to. It's a go-to And um, you get fruit you can sit at a table and there's these bleachers Right and women have buttons on them
Starting point is 00:35:30 And the buttons have like lettering and numbering, right? And like it says v s SM right and I'm like, what do they mean? So v is vietnamese. I don't know why they have their own little category You can't really tell the difference, right? And then sm. I can't I can't. Yeah. Yeah, sm is supermodel, right? Oh, wait, that's a quick fact check Yeah, that's what it is. You don't need to say you're a supermodel. You look like one That's horrible. They said it has it has it on them. That's horrible. They separate vietnamese and supermodel It's terrible. Yeah, I didn't even ask how much the vietnamese was
Starting point is 00:36:13 What if v is like free? Yeah, complimentary. Yeah. Oh, you can have three four. Okay. Oh my god. Yeah. So, um, there's just different lettering and so When I I picked one out I got sm because I had some money and um They come to the table you have fruit plate what not, you know And then you just go up to these rooms up and here's what it is They go go in the bathtub get naked And I get naked. I'm in the bathtub. She comes in naked as well. Was there water in the bathtub? No, they put the water in Empty bathtub his knees are chafed just like crying the sad breakup song
Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah, and she goes, um She positioned me where my butt Right was by the faucet Oh, yeah, which I was offended because I knew that she was gonna wash wash my ass Wash your honey. Yeah, and that's the first thing you wash. Which means What do they you know, they time that is And close to the equator. It's hot and humid. Oh, is that what it is? You better fucking wash your ass Anybody's licking your ass. Yeah. Yeah. So she's just squirting this like yellow, you know, bath wash in the shampoo
Starting point is 00:37:30 In the crack and she's just you wash it and she would rinse and do it again Like all right, you're getting to like the skin is being burned off. I love that. She didn't trust me to wash your own ass But I found out why because her opening move was She eats your asshole That is a super bottle. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, she goes Oh, maybe it's super move Super move right. Yeah. That is right for a first move. That's bold Yeah, and she just for 15 minutes. I looked at the clock
Starting point is 00:38:03 Right and to the tea because she's Asian. Yeah, it didn't go over or under it being 15 minutes. She's finished professional She got up like that I was starting like oh fuck. All right. You can't go three or seconds longer I'm special. I'm not special. What's the con? Yeah, yeah And then we you know, we had the sex and all that and then when I met the two guys movie executives down in the lobby I got this chick ate my asshole and they go. Oh, yeah, me too
Starting point is 00:38:32 And I go, oh, it's a part of their curriculum Oh, right. It's a kind of their like like, you know opening thing that they do. That's your gifted and talented education Yeah, that's your first move. Yeah, which means the madame is pretty good probably. Yeah, she taught them well, you know, I mean, yeah So I've done I've done I've done all over the world in my life very international Yeah, have you made requests or did they just I mean this woman obviously didn't even ask you if you wanted that But that was a good move on her part. Yeah, but I went to the same place for 40 days 40 days Yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:39:06 Like I did they give me per diem jerk you off as she ate your butt I I paid for some I didn't even fuck on Look, let's watch tv. Well, and what'd you to get there? Yeah, we just wanted a friend lay on the bed He's a chindler, you know, you just lay on the bed and and I want you say I'm one. Yeah one girl I said I said we're not fucking today. I paid her the money and she started to cry She goes, thank you Oh, yeah, like why is it dark because she's thank you that you don't want to fuck me like yeah Yeah, yeah, I just didn't want to fuck her. She'd be like, oh, I know but tears went down her face
Starting point is 00:39:37 Because she was happy that she didn't have to fuck me I know it has nothing to do with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my pussy's tired They need sleep My pussy's tired. Yeah, yeah There should be a charity where we just pay a guy to go in and not fuck the girl But give her money like, you know what I mean? Like that's give her a break give her pussy a break Yeah, but she still gets paid. Hey, but imagine The atrocities that go on on the planet
Starting point is 00:40:06 Yeah, that sucks When you know when I act like that and let me say something too I'm an insult, right And Right and I feel like I was forced to live in that In that kind of world and when I'm single and you guys can correct me if you're I'm wrong I have yeah, okay. You can correct me if I'm wrong, but um Whenever I'm single like if you and I happened to ever which I would hate but you know if who knows, right?
Starting point is 00:40:34 Um, I'd probably do it again. You know, I don't mean do what just a prostitute. You know, yeah, but um Um But I just feel like that that's I'm just I was as a kid conditioned to do that because I might mean my love self-esteem or my incel type, you know Well, you say incel to me the definition of an incel it is involuntary. So but yes, but they're assholes You're not an asshole. He didn't touch the girl's toe. You're not an incel. Their god is elliot roger
Starting point is 00:41:08 Yes, they could have freaking shot up shot up. He had a manifesto about women. You are not that guy At all. You're sweet and you're very considerate about women. Yes. You didn't touch that girl's toes. You're not an incel Thank you. I really I really you're not a disrespectful. That's all that's all I wanted to hear because my brother was Trying to tell me this. Yeah, when you said incel I'm like you are not you know, but those are extra I'm not defending incels, but I'm just saying that those I'm not doing it, but I'm just saying those But I know but those are like elliot rogers and that guy that ran over those people in the van in canada or whatever, right? Yeah, and he's like the revolution is some guys said the revolution has begun, right? For the incel revolution, right? Give them a flesh. All right. Those are extreme cases, right?
Starting point is 00:41:51 That's what we should do raise money. So every incel gets at least three flesh like a pussy But what I'm saying is is that there are guys out there that can't get women, right? What do they call them then? Incels but they're the ones that are incels to me are the ones who can't get women They don't know how to communicate So they don't know how to ask for what they want because a lot of times men get trained to just push their feelings down Don't fucking cry be a man blah blah blah. That's so damaging. I cry every goddamn day if someone told me not to cry I would murder everyone because you bury that it's gonna come up somehow And and so they don't get the tools so they're thinking they're fucked up
Starting point is 00:42:26 But you don't have any tools in your tool belt, but they don't make that connection and they're not fucking so they're fullages It's like that's why they're assholes That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. That's it. I'll tell you why because When I told you I used to work with that dwarf Right In the coffee shop, I worked with a dwarf at a coffee shop. All right Always had hot chicks and he had also one of those weird dwarf faces like that, right? No, but he specifically I'm not saying dwarves have that. No Peter Dinklage has something different
Starting point is 00:43:05 He was like the goonies guy, but a little person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah And one day I go I go, I just said hey dude, how come you get girls? He goes I go cuz you're you know and he goes what do you mean? And I go, I'm sorry. Did I offend you he goes? No The reason why you don't get girls Bobby is because I've never seen you try. Oh And I go he goes I he goes I go up to bed a hundred times a day and I strike out 99 times And I'll every once in a while hit one Right. Yeah, I try
Starting point is 00:43:35 Right and he and I was in my early 20s then and I thought I was an incel right back then I didn't know what the word was right and he just kind of opened my eyes out yet I'm scared. Yeah of rejection fear fear, right? And then once and if you're listening to this podcast and you're an incel who gives a fuck I mean, don't be inappropriate Don't be an asshole Yeah, you have respect right we're all equal all that stuff are so horny for respectful men, right? Yeah That's the irony of it. Yes. Oh my god. You can be a balding fat motherfucker
Starting point is 00:44:11 But if you respect my boundaries and you all that's off game on yeah Yeah, I didn't tell you this baby, but the other night I was on stage and Somebody yelled out your name Kalilah and a guy in the front row said she's only with you because you're for your money Well, and I I went fucking classic apeshit. Yeah, I would get to the guy I went apeshit because it doesn't say about her. It says it about me It's an insult about to me that really dude like I can't yeah I can't get an attractive woman He can't get an attractive woman. That's right. That's what that's the mentality of an insult
Starting point is 00:44:48 And you you you you just respect my my girlfriend in that way She's that shallow in public. Yeah, you fuck those guys though. You can't rationalize with them It's almost impossible any good thought that you have it's they're impenetrable. Yep. They they they're just They built their own world. Yeah, and you it's very hard to to permeate that. It's it's very difficult It's doable, but you got you got to be like a psychologist Yeah, to get into the feelings. Yeah, they have to be like willing to change Because they're very righteous in their stance. They're they they're not gonna budge Yep
Starting point is 00:45:23 So no matter what how many we come up with like an entire thesis and tell them they're wrong They're not gonna change their mind. Yeah, I've said this before like I every girlfriend I've ever had and all and the last Mm-hmm. She's the best but greatest of them all time But I've had attractive girlfriends all right top and people have I've always had experiences where white dudes, especially You can see that they're at it like Irritated in public that I have a beautiful girl. I've had people say what the fuck she paid for her out loud Like say that and I've had girlfriend squeeze my hand and go just don't say anything walk walk keep walking, right? And it's like and over the years when that happens. You got to go. No, dude. I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:46:08 You go to a comedy club dude, I'm like one of the best guys there, right? I have a lot of friends and family that love me, you know, I have some interesting ideas about life and a point of view I've done a lot of things, you know, and I'm not just one dimensional. I'm I have many dimensions to me I'm not the greatest guy in the world But the thing is is that I you know, I'm just a human being who wants to find a mate that I'm attracted to and live my life Right, but people get fucking really white. It's white dudes like you Oh, not you All my
Starting point is 00:46:48 That's all project whenever a guy ever does that it's so say it's it's got to be really hard not to take that personal because if I have Oh, if I have a partner if I have a boyfriend and somebody insulted them, I Will make sure you suffer for the rest of your life. I get Petty man, yeah, yeah, I know it's not personal. They're just I don't care. Yeah, I will fucking rip you apart I'm the same way. I I'll protect you You can throw anything at me and I won't particularly get you know upset. Yeah, my anyone close to me That's when I yeah She gets personal like she'll go to their like tooth to gum ratio. Oh
Starting point is 00:47:34 You don't feel guilty, I mean I feel because I've tried I've tried that too And I feel like I'm being a bully, but I do it anyway because out of rage, you know Well, they hurt me so I want to hurt them worse. That's right. Which is not healthy But you know, that's the only time that comes out right because otherwise Oh my god saying something mean about some but I'm like, huh, we're all humans just trying to make it work You know, yeah, I'm very empathetic. Yeah, not when you insult my boyfriend my mother my father My best friend. That's pretty much. That's a grin. Yeah. Yeah You're parents obviously parents know what you do. Yeah, are they happy? They are now. Yeah, they are now
Starting point is 00:48:10 I hid the name of the podcast from them for two years Yeah, cuz my mom didn't know what a podcast was two years. She know what it was Yeah, I had blocked her on Facebook already because I was stoned in all my pictures I smoke lead every day. Yes, I'm not taking a photograph and putting it online. Yeah. Yeah, and And then my brother my brother knew about the podcast and he was like that's fucking hilarious idea And then one day he texted me and he goes mom knows And I knew exactly what that meant and I was like, oh and I have a sort of past with her just because she's bipolar and
Starting point is 00:48:41 There's I love her a lot But she you know, she can be very loving and wonderful and but when I was a kid she was her meds fucked her up a lot And I didn't get it and and so I just laid low she didn't talk to me for a week or two And then my brother tried his best to convince and then we sold credit I sold out the Wilbur theater, which is a thousand seats And I was like, I'm gonna invite them to the show because You may be you may be really upset, but you got to see what we're doing like it's not it's not some
Starting point is 00:49:10 Um, just for the sake of being titillating it's just it's not that and I know that she thought it was that because when I told her I had sex for the first time I was out to eat in a restaurant with my stroke victim grandmother was 16 years old Stroke victim grandmother my mother and my brother's girlfriend And she asked me if I had sex she kind of backhandedly asked me and I didn't want to lie to her and I said Actually, yeah, because I had a boyfriend at the time and she left the restaurant made my dad pick me up and then talked to me for two weeks Wow But I come to find out so she goes to the show at the and she's like, oh wow this is like a okay
Starting point is 00:49:40 She got it and I was so happy because she can be very in her own world and convince herself that yeah She came on the podcast She told yeah, which I never thought I couldn't believe it. She told me she was sexually assaulted When she was 11 because she looked she was really tall blonde blue white like stunning when she was 11 two Womanly when she was 11 and three separate men assaulted her sexually assaulted her And one was the dad she babysat for her mom didn't believe her So when I told her I had sex at that restaurant when I was 16
Starting point is 00:50:14 What was going on in her mind is she's sexual now This might happen to her and she just blacked out. Wow And I was like could have told me that You really fucked me up. Yeah. Yeah That meant yeah, I imagine that was I mean I imagine it made it it might It healed some something from I felt a different door open up between our in our relationship. Yeah Yeah, and a lot of people she got diagnosed with early onset dementia And so I really wanted to have her on the podcast because I wanted to like kind of you know
Starting point is 00:50:46 Have a capsule of her yeah, yeah, and uh, and then she told I knew she's something weird happened to her when she was 11 But I didn't know what and then she told me and I was like three separate times by three different. Oh my god And she talked about it and I mean she was more honest with me She would have gone to the grave with with all the things she told me in that interview She would have never told me that had I not Yeah had this pocket. It's crazy People don't talk man. Yeah, I can't believe it like we've had couples Emails this one girl emailed us and was like, you know what I listen to your podcast
Starting point is 00:51:17 And I opened up to my boyfriend of 10 years that I was molested as a child and his first response was oh my god me too No, they never told each other 10 years Yeah, I'm like wow I have never been that way though In terms of it just in terms of because I feel like you and I are very similar in the way That there are certain filters That we didn't develop or maybe we have broken brains
Starting point is 00:51:44 But I don't have the same kind of filter that normal human beings have like, you know things of me I used to suck dick and I'm not gay. You know, I mean, I was molested. I mean, these are things that you're open about I've just been completely utterly open about these things And then when I tell people people I can tell people get shocked or they they they get weird or whatever I don't know what that is But would you have been open about that in your late teens early 20s? Yeah, because I was in I went to my first a meeting at 16 and you told them everything I went to rehab at 16 So, you know, I I guess from that that point forward
Starting point is 00:52:19 You know during counseling or whatever And I just was but I think I was like that before even, you know, I just don't think that You kind of bore with it. I don't know what the way I don't I don't know You know what it is because it's me reaching for comfort if I'm really honest about everything which I always have been And and I don't care if people are like, oh, but if they're like, oh my god, I mean, then I'm connecting with a person And I feel less alone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've been going to these meetings. Um It's similar to a I've never been to a but uh, it's adultchildren.org is this website. It's adult children of dysfunctional slash alcoholic families
Starting point is 00:52:54 And what the most the rawest slice of humanity can be found in these meetings It's just kids with fucked up parents. Yeah And and agree you go through all these traits at the top of the meeting you read you pass along this paper And it's like addicted to excitement, which I am Uh, being a people pleaser and losing yourself in the process Which I felt like these words were like written about me. Yeah, and uh, it's really helpful Yeah, it is I guess you are right. Oops, sweetie. It must have been being exposed to You know these kind of meetings and counseling sessions as a young person because you know, when you would hear other people's stories
Starting point is 00:53:31 You didn't feel alone and there was probably all age groups all everybody in these meetings, right? Yeah Different slice of life. Yeah for me having started therapy at 15. Yeah Talking to a stranger and letting him know everything and him not judging me. Yeah It's the best feeling in the world. That's why even though um, I mean I come from a fucking catholic ass country. I couldn't speak like this. I'd be jailed in the philippines Wow, but I've never ever been afraid to You talk about it all. Yeah. Yeah
Starting point is 00:54:03 But I think that it's because of you know early therapy You know having that outlet when you're young and that's why people like incels are the way they are That's why they're assholes a lot of the time not all the time. That's why I don't consider you an incel Uh, because they didn't have that so all the feelings are they're right here. Yeah, right above their dick Yeah, but you guys already convinced me. I'm not one You're not yeah, so I'm letting you I'm announcement now. I'm making an announcement now. I am no long. It's official I am not approved. I'm not at all because um, I did I only knew like the surface definition of it, right? But it's not that you're right and andrew santino this morning was telling me you're not one dude
Starting point is 00:54:47 You have you get girls I go but in past he was trying to explain we didn't do it the right way But you guys did it the right way, you know, so I'm out of that whole thing. Yeah, and I because yeah women I feel like feel the wrath of in so like I can tell yeah Because I said that's a nicky glacier and this morning and she went almost ape shit on me. Yeah, because yeah, you're not violent Yeah, yeah, I go yeah, um for for them to take their Lack of like whatever was broken inside them do violence into violence is insane
Starting point is 00:55:18 Mm-hmm. It's fucking crazy. Yep to lash out and also that guy. I'm sorry. Elliot Rogers, right? Yeah, bruh. Sorry. Sorry about your You know, this is fucking Elliot Rogers. Yeah. Yeah, your best friend. Yeah, I know he's like Roger Stoney As Elliot Rogers tattoo on his fucking back. All right. I haven't seen his back yet, but I'm gonna look I'm gonna look Yeah, you fuck not all right. He's not a he's not a hero that fuck right came from money His dad was a ad or director, right? Right. He's done like red carpets. He's half asian, which is Is the mixture you every man desires the Keanu Reeves, right?
Starting point is 00:55:56 That kind of look so he had that, you know, I mean, he's a cute cute fucker, right? He was broken He's a broken man Who had a lot of I don't know. I'm not a psychiatrist or but I'm not a doctor But I'm sure he had clinical things going on in his brain that needed to be addressed That wasn't addressed and he resorted into fucking violence and and murder Yeah, right. It's rage. It's rage seat of rage and that guy it's just it's insane. It's insane. So in cells a bad thing I'm not one. Okay. It's interesting how like a broken man is a terrifying thing a broken woman. You're like, yeah She's gonna love herself more
Starting point is 00:56:33 A broken man. You're like, he's gonna shoot us all right, right But you do have Eileen Warnows Yeah, but who that she's the uh woman who killed um the men who you see monster. Yeah monster. Charlie's there Yeah, that was cool. Oh, yeah, that's right. Every time a woman's a murderer. I'm like, oh, yeah She's like a first school shooter was a chick. She was whoo The first school school school shooter was a chick. Yeah, and she went to the this house of crime I read about it because I was obsessed with female mass murders and I was like every time there's a school shooting It's always a white dude most of the time. Yeah
Starting point is 00:57:08 If anything, it's always a dude that I've heard and I was like, there's gotta be chicks that are and sure enough the first one Uh, and she called the police from the neighbor's house or something. She was like In she was clinically right, you know, what year was that? I think in the 70s. Yep. In the 70s. How many did she kill? Brenda Spencer? Yeah, Brenda. She killed two. I almost named a pet after her This rabbit will be Brenda Spencer First name Brenda Spencer. Is she still in prison? Uh, uh, not sure. Is she even alive? Well, she was like
Starting point is 00:57:38 16 she's 16. Yeah. So this in 1979 she's she's not probably out. Yeah, she's probably out. Yeah Oh 100% I want to interview What's the dip? I mean, I'm sorry and now we're maybe getting in territory that people don't probably want to hear or talk about But I do want to talk about it. There probably is a difference between a female Shooting up a school and a male in terms of intention or why or is it both? Do they both have the same Thing I don't know the answer to that But I would hypothesize that with men because the way they're raised because the way a man
Starting point is 00:58:21 Stereotypically is raised women are kind of raised to feel their feelings You know what I mean? Yeah, and and and there women are never told not to cry as a kid I mean some I'm sure there's many that are like why I mean my dad has told me when I was a child Like why are you crying? But I didn't he didn't say it enough for me to feel like I couldn't cry I felt like I could show emotion and and feel all the feelings And I think that men are discouraged from doing that way more than women. I would I would imagine. Yeah Maybe Brenda felt her feelings a little too much. Oh, she yeah, she yeah, she was too in touch Yeah, there is there is a line. Yeah. Yeah, there was an injury to her temporal lobe of her brain
Starting point is 00:58:59 Yeah, I knew I knew she had something. Okay. Well, that's just a straight up mechanical problem. Yeah She had basically a wet brain. Yeah. Yep. It's wonderful. Wow. Wow poor Brenda And then is she alive? Uh, she's 56 now. Yo, where's she? Looking to do podcasts Oh my god, yeah, I'll interview So it's so interesting that it's like, um, here's what's also making me angry because you know, because we have You know, you here, you know, and and we don't we try not to we try to stay away from donald trump Oh, yeah, we don't talk like talking about it really because you know
Starting point is 00:59:39 We we have a side We picked a side But you know what's really angering me is that whole elizabeth warren indian bullshit And then donald already jumping on the fact, you know And and teasing her and bullying her Because she said she was more american indian before and then she got her results back and she's less like 0.09 percent That that doesn't bother you. Oh, it bothers the fuck out. I mean, he's he's just the way he conducts himself. It's fucking disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but What do we do?
Starting point is 01:00:12 He does it every week because because yeah, like talking about I don't I don't know I hate hearing his name. I mean, but in this context, it's fine. But like I I fucking because you're in his face grosses me out In new york in new york, right? And we're not gonna. I know she doesn't like this, but I just need the same reason It's the same reaction. I have I just don't like hearing his name. I don't want to give the thought And I just don't give credence to anything relating to him. There's nothing I could do about it Yeah, I know you feel powerless in any ways, but it just I just want to know So in the new york comedy scene in general and just the vibe though is the vibe and tie him 100 percent You can feel it 100 percent
Starting point is 01:00:49 Corinne dated a guy for two years who was a trump supporter And she talked about it on the podcast because There's you know, there is a disconnect in terms of the opposite-size talking to each other You can't talk you can't have a fucking civil conversation And and that's frustrating because how you're gonna get anywhere and understand at least understand what the person's coming from Trump doesn't mean you agree and and a lot of people emailed us Saying they're so disappointed in her blah blah blah and it's they didn't know him They didn't she didn't sure she revealed a couple facts about him
Starting point is 01:01:19 Not a lot because she wanted to keep him near and but that was one of the things and uh and people jumped on it And I'm like, see this is one kind of fucking good The other day on stage we do his credit night tour We do this live show we have interactive shit and we do this thing called couples court at the end And we had in north Carolina a trump supporter dating a mexican immigrant Wow And I was like, first of all, who knows to you guys for coming on stage I wouldn't devour you
Starting point is 01:01:46 But they came on stage she said that and then everyone booed and it's like whoa, whoa, whoa You haven't heard a goddamn thing out of this guy's mouth except that I understand but shut the fuck up. We can't and then well, behold. He was a piece of shit, but yeah It's not because of that. Yeah, because of he's a piece of shit in other ways Yeah, right, right and we got down to the bottom of why and then I I said to her on stage in front of him I'm like, you should dump him And he was sitting right there. Wow. This uncomfortable and probably not she didn't seem She seemed no not the type to do. Yeah
Starting point is 01:02:17 I want to understand though. I really do want to understand and Corinne's ex-boyfriend I would talk to him after like in between shows and the new york comedy community A lot of people are were assholes to him because of just you know, be blanket Just because he's a stand-up. He was stand-up. Yeah, he's really talented stand-up and um And I asked him I was like, you know, why why do you like him because he liked him a lot? Yeah, I was like, I just what like what excites you about him like what what made you go like I can't wait to vote for this guy and and and we had a conversation about and I was like, that's really interesting It's good to know like he and he was like, yeah some a lot of the shit he pulls is just ridiculous and stupid
Starting point is 01:02:49 And I was like, that's interesting to me that that doesn't You like him regardless of that like that so so your values and a political candidate are these and that's it did help Me understand it a little. Yeah, but but that's very few trump supporters. I think and maybe I have to learn to empathize with them Yeah, it's this weird line of like I don't want to empathize. I want to understand understand I mean that I don't want to because I can't Because maybe we can maybe maybe we can and we don't we're not seeing it The only argument that I I have not empathized with in my whole life And I really am trying to figure is the pro anti-choice pro-choice
Starting point is 01:03:24 Anti-choice pro-choice. I will not ever you cannot and I ask I inquire I want to have the conversation with somebody who's anti-choice. Well, but I I'm like you are wrong. No, you're wrong Why do you like killing babies? Because I believe the woman's life is more valuable than an unborn fetus All right, baby murder and you're you're more at risk of death if you go through with a pregnancy Then if you get a legal abortion my 16 year old niece Um had a debate about this. She lives in the Philippines and she goes to a religious school, right? And she was the one of two people on the other side of the debate
Starting point is 01:04:00 Her entire class was pro-choice and only her and a gay guy Who's also closet, you know, he's a closet of gay. He can't come out because yeah, yeah, and um She won her best friend who was on the other side of the debate said I would rather be in poverty with 10 children With nothing to feed them Than to go again against god's words Oh my god, and I was like Fuck And that's the infight you can't penetrate that little wall that the them and all the incels build around there a little
Starting point is 01:04:35 And also I want to say this, okay? If there was a disease that affected koreans only right what would it be called and right what's it called? I need to know what it's called kill gook kill gookie knees sounds very similar something. Yeah. Uh, uh, no, um Uh, nipa dying nipa die nipa die nipa die. All right And a bunch of white dudes made decisions upon, you know, I mean koreans Right, I don't do that Okay, wow Prophetic. No, I'm just saying I'll do George. You made that look. I'm just saying the thing is is that
Starting point is 01:05:12 I'll do it. I fucked it up. I fucked it up. I'm gonna tell you what it is. Basically. It's basically like this I'm not a woman, dude, right? And so I you know me. I have no Say I'm not yet. No one I should never even Are you on the same page? Are you? Okay You don't seem like you are You know, honestly, dude, there's something about you that you're a hit or something. What is your job? What here like what? You have like a notebook out. I'm just curious
Starting point is 01:05:47 He's a cameraman, but he's your he's your camera. He's also family. He's his cousin and we love him. He's a family podcast He walks the dog. He does. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good dude walks the dog No, he'll do stuff like go pick up the dog. He'll do it. We pay him, but it's fine. I love him. I love him I love you like best friends. Yeah. Yeah. I love I'm in love with this guy. I love you. Thanks for being here, man I don't want to accuse her of anything that you didn't do anything. Yeah, um, but yeah that analogy I did with the korean Does it didn't work? But you got what I'm saying. I know exactly what you're saying. Thank you so much. It's infuriated. That's why I can't have a civil conversation about I'm choice because I'm like
Starting point is 01:06:20 Especially when it's a man. I'm like, don't even fucking touch this. Yeah, you have you should have no Say, yeah, and it's something Christina that's never gonna go away I know it's a fight That we're gonna have for the rest of our lives because in this specific case. I can see why They get angry because it's a baby It's it doesn't have a choice, you know and all that kind of stuff. Well my track record. I know we kill to ourselves Hey
Starting point is 01:06:54 That's not I mean no one wants to kill a baby. Nobody wants to it would not want to kill a baby Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's terrible and also getting an abortion is not just you know what never mind It's just not who thinks that that's what it is. Yeah, and and I've had a lot of that's been revealed Any a lot of people anti-choice that I've talked to my mother being one of them she because she She didn't understand but I'm like mom it's not Yeah, I can't I can't be civil and I'm like I'm gonna look like an idiot And my temper was gonna flare and I can't have a productive conversation And all these things that we're saying can only happen really in this country
Starting point is 01:07:27 I'm I'm not just I'm just you know, I mean I'm just saying That the reason why it's never gonna die these kind of arguments and these points of views clashing Is because we live in a country that we can do that and so that's I mean that is like for them Yeah, I know man. I'm trying to smuggle plant bees to the Philippines for my nieces. I'm like look dude Give them to your friends if they're you know, yeah, they don't have to be in the Philippines You don't have access to that. This is a luxury for us here. Yep To just buy it off of the counter or you know behind the counter Yeah, we got hey like oh my cvs. You don't even got to go behind the counter. It's on a shelf
Starting point is 01:07:59 I'm like, yeah, really? Yeah in new york Yeah, and we interviewed in a doctor gynecologist who Does abortion procedures on the podcast and she cleared up a lot of shit about there's two types You can get the pill form or the it's basically a vacuum the the respirators would they call it and It won't harm your reproductive organs It won't and but the thing is if a woman wants to end her pregnancy Be legal or not. She's gonna fucking figure out how way to do it. Exactly And so if she's gonna if you're not gonna provide a safe way
Starting point is 01:08:29 She's probably the she's gonna risk her life to not to to have freedom over her own life Yeah, the horrors of in the 50s of what women would do Coat hangers and and then you learn like It's mainly women of color that had to do this the white women could go to the hospitals and and give Slap, you know slip some money to the doctor and they would get An abort like because we interviewed a woman whose mother was the neighborhood abortionist in the 60s in new york city in harlem Oh my god And she would say like all these white women could go to the hospital who were well off
Starting point is 01:09:03 Who could go to the hospital and get that done? But no and so I was the one Who was giving them to all the women of color in my neighborhood? And I was like, oh Fuck because she worked at a hospital and she saw it happening She saw these white women get it and she saw what the doctor did And she was like, oh, that's simple. That's not it's not surgical. Isn't there that woman who? Um travels on a ship Women on waves is an organization that will travel to a country They'll give you the abortion on the boat abortion pirates. They're doctors. Yeah, I love that tv show
Starting point is 01:09:37 I want that as a cartoon or something That looks sounds great. Let's pitch that. Let's pitch that. I nip it die Hey, yeah, so there's these women that are on ships. Yep, and they go to the land women on waves Yeah, they're gynecologists and just volunteers and they'll go to your country and they will If you go on the website or the list everywhere they can go, but they will they'll international waters The laws are different. Oh my god. I can only imagine I can only imagine You know the belly room at the comedy store. Do you know why they call it that? Yes, because they used to give abortions there, right?
Starting point is 01:10:08 I was like, wow Yeah, and I and this is uh, you know how I found that out Years ago in the late 90s when I used to sleep there I used to sleep there because on fridays the paychecks would come on. I had no money So I would just stay there either in my truck Or I would sneak into the club and we would sleep there till the morning and then we'd get our paychecks And one morning five in the morning. I heard babies crying upstairs And I'm like, that's weird. Did you hear that baby? That's ridiculous. I know the comic up. No, I didn't hear a baby
Starting point is 01:10:41 I heard a fucking baby did Wow, well that upstairs is haunted. Yeah. And then months later. I asked Paulie I go about the belly room. He's like it's because of women comedy. That's why they he's like no They used to be an abortion center and I it blew my fucking head. If you heard a baby, it wasn't an abortion I was gonna say yeah, that was probably a baby that was born. That's like a live birth. Yeah That's that's what I believe that they were babies cry like ghost babies are probably crying in there But like, yeah, it couldn't have been no fucking sense Why does why does that not make any sense because if you get an abortion
Starting point is 01:11:13 Even if it's a late-term abortion, it's not gonna be a lot. It's a soul. Yeah, I'm listening to what I'm saying You fucking guys, you know, we beautiful women who are in my equals. Good save. All right Let me say something right now. My beautiful ladies are my equals. All right, right? Women waves. Yeah, all right women waves, right Is is that you think that when you abort a baby, right that that baby is only six months old in heaven Wait, it grows up in heaven. Oh, so you're saying you did hear ghosts of yes. That's what I'm saying Oh, yeah, I heard someone. No, I heard the ghosts of babies Like a baby a ghost baby ghost baby, but in my head I'm like, well
Starting point is 01:11:51 When you when you do administer abortion, I don't know how they were doing it You guys don't even know what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do what we said Why would there because because the abortions happen in the 40s and 50s, right? I'm in the late 90s Baby's growing have them. You guys didn't know that. I didn't know that. It's a spiritual fact. It's a science alert science Oh, so what you're basically saying to me is when we die and we go to heaven There's gonna be a fucking fetus bait angel flying by me. Hey, bitch Right, come on guys. What are we doing on? Oh, Christina. We're over an hour. I know you're telling it. Can I see you're telling it right now, huh? Yeah
Starting point is 01:12:26 I honestly I honestly I honestly this is the truth of the matter is is I could probably talk to you I'm not fucking around for four fucking hours Can you get through that feeling that we could talk Fucking forever. I think it's only been 20 minutes You're so you and I you know in in a In another life We would have had our own thing podcast. Yeah Yeah, you're so good at what you do. You're just so easy to talk to I feel like our minds align
Starting point is 01:12:56 I'm a little dumber than you but you can correct me on certain things. Yeah, but you are um Absolutely amazing. And I also want to say that um, I feel big things for you in your future I'm kind of a buddha in that way, right, baby now with a lifetime network though. Oh, no Now with the lifetime enough. We aborted that opportunity real quick. Well, they boarded. I think hbo netflix something Right. I yeah, I hope so. I hope you want to do a linear thing Or do you what do you want to do though? Do you want to do it like a scripted show? I do broad city or what? Yeah, I mean I I mean I majored in act
Starting point is 01:13:29 I got a bfa and acted like acting I always wanted to be an actress That was like the thing and that's why on my stand-up. I do act outs. Yeah, that's my outlet If I can't be in an indie film, I'll do act outs on stage But uh, yeah, I like that but also Kern and I have unique access to an audience that will come on stage and just tell They'll spill their guts in front of a live audience and it's very unique Even for us. We're like, damn you send them from what good for you. Like that's pretty cool So that is it is a really unique thing to have so I would love to
Starting point is 01:13:59 Take advantage of that in a way that's helpful, but I would love to do scripted. I mean that's like I'm But you could you could do many things. Yeah. Yeah, you can do many things. Yeah Yeah, so but I'm producing stuff now and I'm making a short film on the summer and I'm like, oh, okay Wow, you got to make your own opportunities. Yeah No, I'm gonna do it and what's great about your podcast is you can you know, you can get an audience you can also I'm being honest like Tiger belly reinvented my career. That's awesome Like it put me back in the you know Like into acting like I I'm now on a show. I've been working more than I've ever worked in the last couple years
Starting point is 01:14:35 Movie just a bunch of different things that come up. I was in the fuck. I was in death I was in death my career death Five years ago before I met her and you know, I met Kalyla via a tinder That gives me hope. Yeah, and then we and then we yeah, and then we yeah We started this thing and then you know, I started working again And um, yeah, so I'm just so happy for you because now You know, you can do what you love and um, you have an audience and I just see great things in your future
Starting point is 01:15:05 Thank you. I mean a lot. Yeah. Um Thank you. Appreciate it. We do a thing at the end. It's called unhelpful advice And so, you know, somebody emails us, you know a problem and then we'll give them some advice and then we'll, you know, wrap it up Okay, what did you wake her? I like her I hope for advice with christina questions Hey guys, I'm a huge tiger belly fan. I'm a 32 year old female living in organ My mother just passed away on december 2nd And I've been having a hard time dealing with it on the same day
Starting point is 01:15:35 I went to my mother's memorial my so-called best friend decided to use my trust and emotional state to steal from me She has to use my phone while doing that. She sent money from my phone to a bullshit account. She made up I didn't realize it until she left. I got the charges reversed. Thank goodness But she denied it with all some total ridiculous bullshit story I got my money back 130 bucks and she tried to take over 300 dollars And I blocked her ever since I lost my mother not my lifelong sister She has a major hair. She has a major heroin addiction. And I don't know what to do anymore any advice. Love you all Erica
Starting point is 01:16:12 Lifelong sister, huh? Losing a friend is really a friend breakup I have had one friend break up in my life and that person betrayed me on a level that uh That I'll never I mean, I hope I go to the grave without ever seeing her again I'm really that's the only person I've ever met in my life that I don't I feel the way towards that I mean, first of all, that's I'm so sorry that that happened Let me ask you just I can't believe it. So I don't want to know what happened, but um There's nothing that can happen to remedy the situation in your situation
Starting point is 01:16:41 Correct. You can't fathom anything. She's dead to me Wow, and I've never felt that before but I feel very calm about it. I'm not trying to get revenge Yeah, I mean, that's how I know. I'm like, oh, no, she's dead to me. Yeah That's how long we did you know her for a long time? Yeah, uh in college. We were very close though We got very close very quickly and she fucked up the relationship I had with my mom for a year Wow through ways and uh, yeah, and I was like that's unforgivable. Yeah, you're fucked up person Is she trying to be your friend again or no? Nope. Well, she reached out a couple times and I just I didn't even get mad. I was like, oh delete, okay, okay
Starting point is 01:17:14 Um, when when when people email like this, she knows what to do What does she want? Well, what advice does she want? She's incredibly sad. She just lost her mother And she's lost her support system. Yeah, she can someone she considered her sister. Yeah um, so I'm so I'm so I'm sorry that um, you lost your mother. That's fucking terrible and um I'm so I mean, there's nothing really much I can say about that Like I just I feel for you and this person that in your life that did that He's a piece of shit and I'm sorry that you lost that friendship But what do you you know, what do they want from me? I think the best thing you can do is feel your feelings. Yeah
Starting point is 01:17:51 Yeah, be mad scream a new pillow. Yeah, really let it out If you can see a therapist, I mean everybody should be in therapy. Yeah, that's the best thing in the world but uh you You know, immediately I go. Oh, she's a heroin addict. She didn't mean but fuck that you don't have to understand Oh, that's what it is. She doesn't have to be empathetic You know that she's sick, right? She has a disease. She's sick, right? And the only way She's ever gonna become have a spiritual awakening or an enlightenment
Starting point is 01:18:22 Is when she loses every single thing around her including her friends Right. She add some people have deeper bottoms and others My bottoms are always light because I can somehow Project into the future to see all the bad things that are about to happen and I can nip it in the bud some people have A threshold for spiritual pain a deeper one. I don't have that Once I feel a little spiritual pain. I have or I'm gonna die. I just can't do it, right? But this I don't know what who she is
Starting point is 01:18:56 But you have to cut it which obviously you have to because she's trying to steal money from you and um, hopefully she gets sober but You know, she's no longer your concern. Yeah, she's no longer. You don't have to help her You don't have to feel bad for her. Yeah, you can be very angry with her feel the feelings That's the only I mean in terms of advice That's the only thing I can say and also there's billions of people on planet earth And you there are other people to be friends with out there and if you're feeling really down Kind of support group people that you can just you know, sort of unload how old is she?
Starting point is 01:19:30 32 I mean, I'll be honestly at 32 My friends at 32. I don't really even know who they were You meet new people. Yeah, right you grow. You need me to meet new people I mean, I don't even look back when you're like even five years ago. You're like, oh, yeah, I was friends with that person I forgot things Someone recently invited me to her wedding And I just couldn't bring myself to go and I'm like, I don't even know why we hung out ever
Starting point is 01:20:00 ever Like oh that guy was a comic. Yeah, we used to hang out Oh my god, I forgot they were even comic because they dropped or whatever the fuck You know, I was close with that person at one point But a lot of times and this is gonna sound fucked up especially with comics Is sometimes you hang out with a comic because you're at a certain point in your career Right and then somebody moves on just even career wise
Starting point is 01:20:26 And it's not that you're you don't think you're better or anything It's just scheduling and And also maybe they change a little bit like either get a little Envious or whatever But is that does that make me shallow? No, but you know what else is weird too when you start making money You can't vent about this. I can only vent to certain a lot of things I can only vent to Uh to Corinne. Yeah, or to you know, like a successful comic like that. I don't you know And I know that like like still like my set where my sets at is still
Starting point is 01:20:58 New you know, I've been doing stand-up less, but But you can't vent about you know, yeah Because there were comics that I started with I love But they're still not didn't make it. Yeah. Yeah, or they still can't they still have day jobs and eventually I just I can't Does that make me a piece of shit But then are they gonna bitch to you about their day job?
Starting point is 01:21:22 Probably not because they feel weird and everyone feels weird and it does get in the way. It's a wedge. It's a wedge There is a couple of guys that still call me. They're not doing well But I really believe that they have talent And I'm still their friend, you know, you although when you go out to eat, you know that you have to pay What it's not fine fine with it. You know, I mean by my point is still though that is that but I I always feel no But just listen, I feel like I know shit I feel like a piece of shit for either weeding people out because I've you know, I mean, yeah But is that make me a bad? I don't know
Starting point is 01:21:53 But like I can't vent about touring to some of the comics because I'm like, you know, but and also yeah You got to realize certain advantages you have right you can't and it's not like you're venting about them to be like Oh god, all this money's so tired. You know, yeah They're not saying that say though that you know, we have a friend david show and he's a very very wealthy artist Yeah, but the I started to respect him even more when we all went to this taco shop and He let me pay. He didn't every time we go as a group everywhere. Yeah, that's everyone pay for their own stuff He doesn't go out of his way to be like, I got to pay because I make more money. He doesn't feel like he needs to do that
Starting point is 01:22:34 Yes, we're 300 million, but it's whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like he's It it actually levels the playing field and it makes for a better friendship because you do feel equal to him I felt myself doing that What we would be like at the olive tree above the cellar and I'm like, ah drinks on me and then I'm like that's douchey christina Yeah, don't do that because I'm like, oh if you know, I know what it's like I know what it's like to be so broke like one time crane gave me a coupon for a subway sandwich for free and I cried I was like, I can eat two meals with this one sandwich. I've been there too. Yeah, you know, and that's that's important to be there It is important to be there. But yeah, I you're right because I started to feel douchey doing that
Starting point is 01:23:11 And I'm like, why do I but I'm being given Yeah, so that's interesting these conferences with like comics that aren't doing as well where you go Yeah, I just played this club and it's like, you know, they want to do a 60 40 split I I've been there so many times. I want 80 20 and then they say shit like you should be grateful you and have a fucking a weekend Like they don't understand like you so you can't bring yeah, you can't bring that up Yeah, you know, I mean I make 200 a night or a hundred a night when I headline So, you know, I don't know why you're complaining
Starting point is 01:23:41 And then you just have to cut those people out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah What's your All right They're trying to say that Because you make more than them that you're not allowed to want more Right, or you're not allowed to complain about anything. Yeah, you're allowed to want more. Yeah, Sebastian Monoscalco, right? a month ago Had he was playing a 20,000 seat venue in Philadelphia
Starting point is 01:24:09 Oh, wow, so he had like on his phone. He had the the map of the thing and he was showing me like the VIP sections Like should I do this? Right? And he was like showing me like I would have charged 300 whatever it might be, right? Oh, man, and he knows that I don't make as much but I still I'm not a pro comic, right? I'm not I get where he's at I would when I was helping him about that. Yeah, I was helping. I was like, yeah, you should Bleed them with more money Yeah, like VIP should be like this oval shit because you know, you don't want you know
Starting point is 01:24:43 You want a separation between and I was telling him about how he should do it? And I don't you know, I mean, I know he's ahead I'm happy for him, but you're not you're you're doing good. You know what I mean? Like it's not is that what it is I think when you do a certain point. Yeah, then it doesn't matter. Yeah. Oh, man If you I mean, I don't know him, but if you were to talk to me about that like Whoa, so that's what you get. Those are the decisions. That is so dope. I get excited about it. That's so cool Like that's where you're at. Yeah, like like a salvo kind of like the impractical jokers. Oh, right those guys Yeah, I'm like that is so cool. Cool. You're on a fucking square It's your ship
Starting point is 01:25:19 Yeah, I love it. I think that's dope or when I see like openers of Russell Peters Yeah, and they have the watchers watches. What he gives Rolex watches Whoa, that's amazing, right? And they're like a hundred thousand dollars, right? A hundred thousand dollars. Yeah, and I look at their watches and go, wow Wow, he's never asked me to open. What a What a fuckface and he's been on this podcast I can't believe they don't sell the watch But you know, I don't you know, but I think that when you get to a point
Starting point is 01:25:47 Where you're on your feet and you're you're comfortable with where you're at in your career. That's what it is. That's what it is That's what it is because then you don't feel unsteady. You don't feel you're like at least I have This you know what I mean? I'm not, you know, flying over coupons for sure. And there's certain guys that um And it's social media is weird because um There's certain guys that I know they don't even follow me Because they there's there's somewhere in their career where they're not really happy And so I can see why they wouldn't follow certain I do that. I've done that. Do I have it done that? I've done that. There's people that but I think that they're it's more like self protective measure because it's they don't want to do the
Starting point is 01:26:25 Upward comparison I've done that. I've unfollowed people that have a similar like a podcast career, but they got a tv show And I'm like, why the fuck do they do that? And I'm like, all right, we're seeing a shut the fuck up It's not helping anybody. So I don't follow them because I don't want to have that dialogue in my head There are people that you don't follow. Yeah. Yeah. I have a couple myself. Oh, we'll tell after after these Yeah, I have a couple where I can't do it because when they post And it's so it's and I'm comfortable where I'm at
Starting point is 01:26:52 But I think because they're asian as well See right and and there was more of a personal thing of like they're more my type, right? They're taking up a space. So they're like jumping off a roof with ryan gosling, right? Right, and I'm looking and I go, I didn't even get a read for that Oh, yeah, those are the people I unfollow right. I work the same parts. Yeah, right They're in a bathtub with like anniston and brad pit and they're doing some sort of Comedy sketch, right and they're asian and they look just like me and I think to myself I was eight years on a sketch show Yeah, that's my place. That's my place. I can't follow them
Starting point is 01:27:28 I get them. Yeah. Thank you so much for doing the podcast. I think you're so great Thanks, and also honestly, and let's make this a rule especially with her Whenever she's in town and she needs to be on the show to plug anything that we are available for her Oh, that's so nice. Thanks. Make it happen. No, I'm being fucking real Yes, sir. Have I ever said that about anybody? No, I honestly she because she doesn't live here Right. She could When she comes in town, we help this lady out. Okay, not her friend though. What's her friend's name?
Starting point is 01:28:03 She's coming to town next week. Yeah, well, let's get Corrine to get Corrine on the fucking thing Not her friend get her next week. Yeah, I love I love starting a little war Give her a round of applause everybody. She was great. Anything went up specifically your book What do you want to oh, yeah? We just released a paperback of our book fucked being sexually or being uh sexually explorative and self-confident a world that's screwed available We're amazon whatever guys we fucked um social my social media is christina hutch. Yeah When does this podcast come out? But tomorrow night at midnight. Yeah, yeah, wednesday morning. Yeah, it's too late to plug the show that i'm
Starting point is 01:28:39 But they can still watch it on hulu. All right, so I you know Everyone knows i'm on a sitcom and i'm sometimes i'm not in it a lot, but in this last tomorrow night's episode i'm in from beginning to end the stories about my character um 9 30 abc But it's a little late So at least watch it on hulu because we get those numbers as well And you know, I get when you guys watch the show and I have two lines. I get that you know, it's a waste of time
Starting point is 01:29:07 Because you guys want to see the slept king, you know Do his thing poppa work, but in this specific I've never been asked to do so much on a network show as an actor And you guys know how paranoid i've always felt about being an actor But I think that I I think I I I feel like I did a good job Yeah, I was able to show up and do the scenes and do you know and do the arc So watch the valentine's episode splitting up together and um, and thank you so much. Thank you so much. Good. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye Hey folks, we'll be right back with some housekeeping
Starting point is 01:29:44 That was fun That was fun Ready And we are back you guys um all All of you in the slept kingdom. Yeah are very special to our hearts and other parts of our body But we also have real papayas of the month and these are people that um That's just a little special a little special a little special Yeah, and I'm going to read their names out. Okay
Starting point is 01:30:19 Number one bond johnson Love that love him Bond johnson if you don't know him he's got um The head of his penis is like an arrow Very yeah, yeah, and he was born with a special ability. He's Dead eye With the vagina. Yeah, so thank you bond would be funny if bond was a girl
Starting point is 01:30:40 I'm just gonna throw it out there into sades of the world. We'll just say if i'm wrong. I'm wrong Javis is mal javis baby javis is mal love that He's from singapore. I know he's from singapore. I know because they have a statue Of him next to mcdonald's over there in the time square the town square the singapore time square Times square javis is mal has a statue And um the statue is made out of pure bronze That's a beautiful piece of artwork. He wanted gold. He wanted bronze. No, it's too expensive gold. True Um, we have also one j agiri
Starting point is 01:31:15 One j agiri if you don't know he's um a throttle a plant laplist Theran Philanthropist That's it, right? Philanthropist We have laszlo the die. I love that guy best last name. He has the best first and last name Laszlo the die and that's just the first and middle name. Do you don't know the last name? What is it?
Starting point is 01:31:40 Yeah, that's the last name. Great laszlo the die We've got melvin flores of the flores clan And that's not a last name. It's clan and they're from on the southwest region of planet earth on the northern hemisphere If you can equate that in your mind and let me say the melvin floor of metal He was born with two hearts. Oh one on the outside of his body and one inside his sister's heart Science alert for sure science alert for sure. That's um melvin flores We have nick rampi. All right and rampa rampa rampa rampa nick rampa And uh nick rampa is alive
Starting point is 01:32:25 Congratulations, he's not dead. You're not dead. Yeah, and you were gonna be with us for a very long time. Yeah We have rachel wilkins rachel wilkins, you don't know this but i see in in her future. She's gonna be um mummified Oh a thousand years from now. Wow, and they're gonna bring her back to life. Oh, and then she's gonna crump Wait the dance move. Yeah crump for the future people Right, I can't wait You know that all of the mummy like the wrappings the linen wrappings. She's gonna be great
Starting point is 01:32:57 We have sansi saraj from the sansi saraj. Um hot sauce company. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So many flavors. Yeah. Yeah, so many flavors What our favorite our favorite hot sauce is the sansi saraj and the color is a dark purple Because they use an eggplant. Oh Aubergine aubergine We have spencer brown the old black guy spence old spencer brown The tip tap it. He tapped tapped it. He loves to tap dance. Is that racist? No, I love spencer. God bless you We have west digs It's a great name. West digs is a great name and uh
Starting point is 01:33:35 He has a brother who's a model Tay digs. Tay digs. This is bright and then they also they're they have they're a mining family Oh, what are they? What are they mine? They dig for oris Yeah So thank you so much for coming To the papaya of the moth
Starting point is 01:33:56 Yeah, thank you guys for being real papayas to our family Yeah, and we really appreciate it Well guys big ups to all the real papayas and also our super sleepers and our premium episode subscribers on our patreon So guys you want to be part of that family go to patreon.com slash tiger belly Because as George likes to say when he writes things the fun never stops I didn't write that with extra spicy exclusive episode Both right there And guys if you want to mail us any packages, um, I'm gonna turn it over to kalayla because she loves this address
Starting point is 01:34:31 It's one of her favorite addresses to say I have I'm brain dead. Oh, let me see. Let me try Um, it's 1626 north wilcox avenue number 161 Hollywood california 90028 boom. She never forgets. She's like an elephant. She never forgets Guys, uh, also on the patreon. Just, you know, what's going down. Um, got a new episode and steby was on so make sure you check that out Very exclusive and uh, did he red zone? Did he Shallow pink zone? I don't know check it out. Um, but but make sure you go to tiger belly or patreon.com slash tiger belly And you can follow us on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly Or email us any questions at that tiger belly gmail.com
Starting point is 01:35:15 Kalayla, where can we follow you at calamity k brice if we want to follow your micro fishing, where can we do that? Oh, I also just want to say one more thing Um, our special cat mave has still not been adopted. Wow And um, I only need serious inquiries. I don't want anyone to pretend to Want to adopt just because they think they're gonna meet bobby I want them to want to adopt because they want an animal and they want to rescue an animal. So A serious inquiries only. She's a very special cat. She's still available. So Serious guys the emmy serious serious serious. George, where can we follow you?
Starting point is 01:35:53 Why isn't that laden that you can't buy it? It's still not out in the theaters. Did you see the trailer? No, the car. I've never seen the cartoon. I want to but watch the cartoon part. Oh, it's good. Oh my god You know, he's never watching it. Well, we'll talk about yeah, but they don't have it on here Is this it? Yeah, Disney also does that in king of thieves. Yeah. No, not king of thieves Are you seeing the laden with macaulay colkin? What Anyways, uh Follow George. Yeah, somewhere and also, uh, you can follow everything bobby lee and bobby lee live and all his tour dates at bobbylealive.com and guys watch
Starting point is 01:36:27 His show Okay, watch it live. It's very important for papa and if you miss it watch splitting up together on who and all that other stuff Leave comments on instagram on their page. All right guys. Have a good night Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wendry plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wendry.com slash survey

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