Toni and Ryan - F😱😱😱ing famous people
Episode Date: January 9, 2022I went to call this episode 'sleeping with celebrities' which was a bit more low-key, but we'd already done it 😅 We also chat about some feedback. Love ya!!!! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/T...oniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Georgia, it's Tony and Ryan.
How are you doing?
Good.
How are you?
We are really well.
Now, Tony, you and Georgia have something in common.
Do we?
Hi, Georgia.
Hi.
So, Georgia, what is it that you and Tony have in common?
I think it's that we used to live in Perth.
Oh, how cool.
From Perth to Melbourne, just like Tom.
Yes.
Oh, whereabouts in Perth?
Well, I used to live in Maldives.
My family moved back there again last year,
so they're in Canning Vale now.
Oh, jeez.
Canning Vale in the COVID-free Western Australia.
Yeah, must be nice.
They're living life and they're loving it.
Yeah, my brother lives in Southern River, Georgia,
which is just near Canningvale.
Also must be nice.
And, yeah, they're living their best life, Georgia, as well.
So we'll just sit over here, stinky COVID rats.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
They're always sending photos.
I'm like, seriously.
Please don't.
Please don't.
Yeah.
Now, Georgia, I believe, let me just read this.
You guys make me penguin laugh to the point where it's scary
to drive to work.
Do you mean you're also a wheezy character?
I am.
I constantly need an asthma pump on me.
Georgia, it sounds like we've got a lot in common.
We do.
Ryan, have you set this up as like a blind date kind of thing?
Like you want Georgia and I to catch up after this?
Hey, I'm not implying anything.
I'm just happy to bring smiles and people to the world.
Hey, hey, I am married.
I am married.
Oh, I didn't mean like that, man.
Okay, Georgia, well, I'll just go fuck myself.
Well, literally, because Georgia's fucking her husband.
But, Georgia, would you be able to approve today's podcast?
Sure thing.
Thank you so much for creating this podcast.
It just makes me so happy.
The amount of stuff that just makes me laugh.
It's like, you know what, we do have a lot in common.
It's like normal.
All the stuff you talk about is just hilarious.
So thank you.
Aw, Georgia, thank you so much.
That makes us so happy as well. And you're so welcome.
So glad we could make you penguin laugh.
All right.
You have a great day.
All right.
Stay safe.
You guys too.
Bye.
See you, Georgia.
Bye.
Hi, I'm Georgia from Melbourne and I and Ryan podcast.
Hello.
I do not like this week of the podcast.
Don't you like making content for our friends that are listening?
I do, but I feel sick to my stomach about the barber slash hairdresser phone call.
I bet you she feels sick to her stomach about the fact
that you shit on her towel.
Well, the fact that I don't know if she even knows
that it happens or not.
Anyway, here's the update.
If you're just joining us, Ryan went and got his haircut
at a home salon.
A girl did his haircut for him at home.
He said, oh, do you mind if I
use your toot doll? And she said, yeah, all good. Go right ahead. He went in there, accidentally
did a little poopy. You'd obviously had a coffee that morning. There wasn't any toilet paper.
And the best solution that you could see was to use her bath towel because the toilet was in the
shower bathroom. You used her bath towel to wipe toilet was in the shower bathroom.
You used her bath towel to wipe your bum on.
It was covered in your poo and then you just turned it around
and you didn't tell her.
Then you got your hair cut and then you went on your merry way.
So let it just be clear again that I don't, like, endorse this option.
There are better options and I don't think I did the right thing.
And I think everyone can agree that in a panic you're not rational
and you're not thinking clearly.
And I regret it.
I'm not proud of it.
And this is spreading, by the way.
I bet it did on her bloody towel.
Don't even imagine.
No, but this is the-
Someone tagged me in a post about something completely unrelated
on Not Our Paid.
It was like on news.com or something.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Must be nice.
And I commented something about the news and someone was like, oh, well, it turned out better for them than it turned out for that girl's towel. Oh, okay. Must be nice. And I commented something about the news and someone was like,
oh, well, it turned out better for them than it turned out
for that girl's town.
Oh.
I think, though, that this is the first time you're acknowledging
that you regret what you did.
I regretted the whole time.
No, but I don't think you've said that.
I think you were just like, yeah, like, that's what I did.
Was that not clear?
No.
Not to me.
Really?
I don't think so because you've just been like, oh, yeah, I did it.
Like, I stand by it kind of thing. You never said that you regret
doing it and that potentially looking back, you know, hindsight's 20-20. We look
back and we go, you know what? Maybe shouldn't have shit on her towel.
Well, I just, I regret the situation. I hated that I needed to go. Situation, sorry?
I hated the situation. I hated that I needed to go. I hated that I was there. I wish my
hair just didn't grow so I never needed to get a haircut.
I regret everything.
Have you had a haircut since?
Yeah.
What did you shit on at their house?
I just shat on the barber's desk into the clippers.
Anyway.
What?
We said we would call her if we got to 1,000 Patreons.
Yes.
And you bunch of cashed up assholes just really went strong.
Right at home, yeah.
So I've texted her.
Yes.
So, well, at first we were worried that we wouldn't be able
to find her phone number because you were given her information
like through a job that you were doing for Channel 9.
So we weren't sure if we could really get a hold of her.
You've text her.
Yep.
Any update?
She said.
What was the text that you sent her?
I said, hey, it's Ryan.
I came to get my haircut a few months ago.
I have a few questions.
Can I give you a call on my podcast?
Oh, your podcast?
Our podcast.
Yeah, okay.
Fucking all of a sudden it's Tony and Ryan.
On my, on our, yeah, whatever.
On the podcast that I do with someone who's a lot smarter than me.
That's not the important part of this.
Okay.
She's replied and said.
I'm so embarrassed.
I can't do right now.
I thought you were going to say, I can't do this.
Maybe some other time.
Oh, okay.
I'll message her again.
I'll follow up and I'll just be like, hey, just quick phone call. It'll be
fine.
We're getting there.
We'll get there.
I feel
sick to my stomach. Do you know what else
is not written on this sheet that we do have to talk
about? What? The fucking running.
Oh, yeah. The fucking running.
We'll talk about running tomorrow.
I'll write it down because otherwise I'll forget.
Okay.
Running.
Maybe we could just forget about it.
No, we can't.
Okay.
Tony.
Yes.
I want to talk about sexy times.
Sexy times.
Do you, anybody listening, and you, Ryan,
have that like default friend in your friend group that would be
that is like the most outgoing
and kind of always comes back with like a hectic story.
So you know how everybody has that friend that like will go off
on a night out and you won't hear from them and you'll be like,
fuck, are they okay?
I've been trying to call them.
And then the next day they'll be like, oh, yeah, I'm totally fine.
I ended up getting accepted into the VIP room and I was drinking fucking,
you know, Bolly all night for free.
And then I slept in a fucking suite at Crown and then I'm home.
I'm fine.
I'm just having a shower.
Yeah.
But that would never happen to me.
Dave and Holly.
Oh, hi, Dave.
Dave.
Parsons.
Oh, I thought you meant Warnocky.
No, Dave Parsons would disappear for days.
And you go, what happened?
He goes, oh, I met this bloke and he took us to this place. And then
Dave used to work at the casino. So
sometimes a high roller. High roller.
And he was like a waiter in the high rollers
room. So he'd like come back days later
and be like, oh, so this Chinese
billionaire came in and he was like, oh, can you show me where
the bloody best clubs are? And Dave
would just come home days later. He's like, I met this guy
and this guy. I'm on his boat. Oh, shit.
He paid me $80 to find him a Red Bull with no sugar.
It's like weird-ass stories.
See, that would never, ever happen to me.
If I went missing for two days and you called me and went like,
hey, what's going on?
I'd be dead.
Like there would just be no way that I'd gone on some,
like, exciting adventure.
Like something terrible would have happened.
Well, it's this mindset that will not allow you to have a good time.
Yeah, see, so I would never go with the Chinese billionaire
because I would go, the $80 is obviously not for the Red Bull.
This is not practical.
It's for my spleen.
I've only paid for four hours parking.
This won't be able to work out.
Fuck you.
What?
You would think that.
That is exactly what I would say.
Yeah, exactly.
I don't appreciate being fucking called out like that.
Okay, but I think we can all agree every friendship group
has that one person you're like, oh, if it was going to be someone,
of course it was.
Like, of course it worked out for them.
Well, one of the girls that I, and this is,
I'm talking like 10 years ago, one of the girls in my friendship group,
and this is, you know this is Lifetime's way because I'm about
to tell you about going clubbing.
Yep, okay.
Imagine me.
I'm wearing, like, this slutty dress and, like, high heels.
Oh, yeah, like, I was a lot thinner.
If that helps paint the picture.
Because that's what you did, right?
Like, you would go out and you would get loose with your friends
and you wouldn't be able to afford to buy drinks all night
because you made $10 an hour at the IGA you worked at or whatever.
Yeah, so you'd pre-game, you'd pre-load, you'd come in hot.
So you'd drink like vodka that was, you know, a $30 bottle or something.
Like, oh, anyone that's not in Australia,
alcohol is really fucking expensive in Aussie.
Yeah, $30 for vodka is a cheap bottle of vodka.
It's really, really cheap.
So the tax on alcohol is really, really high.
When you're paying, it's half booze, half tax.
Yeah.
So, like, you would buy a bottle of expensive gin at the airport
with, like, tax-free for $40.
Yeah.
But in Australia it would be $90 or $100.
It's ridiculous.
So that's why in Australia pre-gaming is, like, such a big thing.
Yeah.
Anyway, so we're going, and anyone from Perth,
we were at Amplifier Capital.
Did you ever go there?
Yeah, so that was like kind of the cooler place to club
because there was always like alternative,
like sexy alternative boys and there was always
like a hardcore band playing and it was a very cool place to go.
We used to go there a lot.
Was this kind of in the era of the cool emo boy?
Oh, yeah.
The side fringe kind of, yeah.
Probably a bit later than that but cool like Pete Wentz vibes
from 4 Out Boy kind of vibe.
Anyway, and we were there one night and this has come into my head
because I was telling Torbs about it just recently.
We were out one night anyway and the girl of the group
that kind of went off and did her thing, the next day we get a call
from her and she goes, oh, you're not going to believe what happened.
I slept with the guy from Block Party.
The band.
Yeah.
The DJ.
What are you, they're a band?
You call them a band, right?
Yeah, they call them a band.
And he's fucking, he's so sexy.
He is.
I think I've seen Block Party in a festival.
Should I play?
Or maybe you could just Spotify it after you listen to this.
Great band.
People know who Block Party are.
Anyway, he's like this really fucking hot black British dude.
And she was like, I slept with the guy from Block Party.
She like walks over to this guy, they get along well,
and she's like, oh, my God, you look like the guy from Block Party.
And he's like, I am the guy from Block Party, or whatever happened, happened.
Anyway, so she goes, I slept with the guy from Block Party.
And you know when a friend of yours meets or sleeps with or kisses
or anything someone famous?
Yep.
And then whenever in the future of your life someone goes,
oh, you know the band Block Party?
I'm like, oh, a friend of mine slept with Kelly from Block Party.
So we sat next to Bailey Smith, the footballer, at a restaurant,
and every time he's on the TV I'm like, I was at a restaurant
and I sat next to him. Yeah, and'm like, I was at a restaurant and I sat next to him.
Yeah, and, like, I've told this story before that Torbs once
was in the airport eating a parma and he saw Russell Crowe.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, and so every time we're either eating a parma
or we're at the airport, he's like, oh, last time I was here,
I saw fucking Russell Crowe.
Anyway.
So any time you think of going clubbing or any time you hear
Block Party, what story are you going to tell?
That my friend fucked Kelly from Block Party.
What a love because that guy is hot, good on her.
He's so fucking good looking.
Anyway, Torbs and I both really, really like Block Party
and we always listen in the car and because there's a scene
in How I Met Your Mother where Block Party plays
and it's very emotional and both of us love How I Met Your Mother.
Anyway, last, literally, this is like a month ago,
this is very, very recent.
And we're talking about Block Party and I was like,
have I ever told you about when Cara fucked Kelly from Block Party?
And Torbs was like, nah.
And I was like, oh.
So I retell the story about how we're out and she runs into him.
Yeah.
And he's like, I'm pretty sure he's gay.
And I was like, well, he's not.
And like immediately got defensive of the story.
I've been telling this story for 10 years.
Yeah, I'm like, well, she's pretty good looking maybe,
like, you know, one slip through.
One slip through.
And some guy comes up to me and goes, oh, hey, Ryan, what's going on? Do you want to come back to my place?
And I'm like, oh, no, I'm married and straight.
And he's like, oh, you know, a few slip through.
Yeah, and you're just like, oh, okay, well, that's science.
You know, 99.9.
Anyway, and Tobbs is like, nah, mate,
I'm, like, pretty sure he's, like, kinship six guy.
Like, I don't think that he, like, he is not straight.
Anyway, and then we start kind of doing a bit of Googling,
figuring out when he's, like, publicly come out,
which happened to be a couple of years
before this would have been.
Before.
And what was the name of the magazine that he wrote an article in
where he came out?
Butt.
Butt magazine.
A guy came out in Butt magazine.
Yeah.
No-one's slipping through.
Three years prior to Cara hooking up with him.
Yes.
So, anyway, I'm, like like getting really defensive of this story.
How many times have you told this story?
Oh, so many.
Like every time I'm in a bar and like a helicopter plays,
I'm like, oh, do you know that my friend fucked the guy?
Anyway, and so now I'm like, this guy fucked my friend.
Who's just some guy?
Who's just some guy.
friend. Who's just some guy?
Who's just some guy.
Who would have thought Block Party featuring Wheezy would have been on the episode today?
But yeah,
so it's not true.
I fully believe that she
thought it was him and that she went, you look
like the guy from Block Party and he went, I am
the guy from Block Party. Okay, you mentioned this.
And they were probably both like, you know, a couple of drinks in as well.
Do you know what I mean?
Was he celebrating in the club that he was a big deal?
I can't even fucking remember.
I've got an idea.
Yeah.
Does Cara know yet?
No, we can't.
We're not doing that.
Because she's been probably telling this story for years, saying she's been fucking this dude from Block Party. Yeah, maybe she needs to be told that she can't. We're not doing that. Because she's been probably telling this story for years,
saying she's been fucking this dude from Block Party.
Yeah, maybe she needs to be told that she didn't.
No, I'm not going to burst that bubble.
I'm not.
I'm not going to ruin her life.
She needs to just, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah.
No, she deserves the win here, I feel.
And what's she going to do?
Like call Kelly from Block Party and be like,
some guy told me it was you and fucked me.
Like, no.
I want to know.
All my questions are about this guy.
Maybe it was him.
But did they go back to, like, a swanky hotel?
Mate, I don't know.
Literally, at the time, she's just like,
I fucked the dude from Block Party and we're like,
oh, my God, that's so cool.
Like, we just thought it was awesome.
Do you reckon he gets back to his grotty share house in, where a grotty share house be in perth oh like mount lawley or yeah
and goes guys saint james or something you'll never guess what happened last time yeah but also
like if they were both just started kissing or whatever and she she might not have even because
imagine if you're kissing a celebrity right you? You would have had this many a time, people kissing you.
But you aren't going to go, oh, I'm such a big fan of your podcast.
Say if you started pashing like fucking, I don't know, someone famous.
I actually can't even think of an example.
Todd's called me last night and said,
I just had sex with my favourite podcast host.
He's cheating on me then because that didn't happen.
He's sleeping with the host of Serial.
Anyway, I'd love you to, in the Facebook group,
A, just without any other info, do you reckon it was him or not?
But then B, I want to know if you've got a celebrity story
and maybe, and was it true?
Because, oh, my God.
Like, yeah, have you years later realised that there's no way?
Like, when I was a kid, we went and watched the West Coast Eagles,
which is an AFL team in Australia.
We went and watched them train once.
And I had this Tweety Bird hat and I really wanted to get it signed by Ben Cousins because he was like the best player.
He was the captain of West Coast at the time.
And my brother's best friend, Adam, was like, oh,
I'll go see if I can find him.
And I was like, oh, my God, that would be awesome.
And he came back with the signed hat and went, oh,
I went down into the changing rooms and got it signed for you
and it was like two Tony Best Wishes, Ben Cousins.
It was like this beautiful cursive handwriting.
And then a year later, well, sorry, a year ago,
like as in today, a year ago, I realised that that didn't happen.
That was just Adam had written on the hat.
But is that kind of nice and endearing?
Oh, it's very kind for the time, but it wasn't him.
He also lied to you.
You know, and as a kid, then again, I'm going like,
oh, my God, Ben Cousins has signed this hat,
and I just look like, fuck it.
Hey, it's Georgia from Melbourne,
and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.
Tomorrow on the show, thanks to Shmosh Smodges,
who is a delivery driver.
He is, in Florida.
In Florida.
He said, why don't you do things you can say to a delivery driver and also in the bedroom.
So get ready for some packages to
be delivered on the show tomorrow.
I actually found that one quite hard.
No pun intended. You're welcome.
No one else could see that, but I just winked at Tony
when she said that. I think everybody
saw it in their mind. I think people were like, Ryan's
definitely just winked then. A big
thank you to a couple of our champion tapas that have joined us
over the last week.
Zach, John O'Leese, Rosemary Bland-Schmidt, Brian Jensen
and Kyle Boyer.
Thank you so much for joining us.
It's an absolute pleasure to have you.
Pleasure to have you on board.
Especially shout out to the people who joined after January 1.
Yeah, there were a lot of messages in the Patreon.
I responded to 70 messages in the Patreon
yesterday. Thank you. Do I get a gift
or something?
You get the takings from Patreon. Okay.
Well, I don't get that because they're paying for
your towels. New towels every day. Well, no, you
said last week that the towels
were out of my cart. Yeah, it's not
allowed to come from my side. And if
anybody in the Patreon actually would like to
send a message and say, please don't use my money
to replace her towels, you're allowed.
Make Ryan pay for this out of his
own pocket. This week, we
will have a response.
Hopefully. What if she ghosts us?
Back and forth. What if she ghosts us? Good.
If she ghosts us back to Finland and
never comes... Nah, that's a bit mean. Oh, that's horrible.
I'll cut that out for your behalf. On your behalf.
Don't cut my behalf out. Oh. Oh, we're up to me. Sorry, that's a bit mean. Oh, that's horrible. I'll cut that out for your behalf. On your behalf. Don't cut my behalf out.
Oh.
Oh, we're up to me.
Sorry.
You're looking at me.
Isn't it your turn to read the names?
You just did that.
Hey.
I just did that.
Are you not listening?
I'm paying attention.
Do you know what's weird?
My Invisalign's really sore today.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I started new ones last night and just like the pressure.
Oh, the first day.
It's just the pressure.
The pressure.
Yeah.
Do you want to pop them out?
No, because then they hurt to put back in as well.
Yeah, good.
They only hurt for 24 hours.
But I do have a great dentist.
I hope the dentist is just as great as that story.
Chloe May.
At least I fucking started talking.
I looked at you and you went, blah.
Chloe May has some feedback for us.
Oh, well, Chloe May, sit the fuck down because we're talking about my teeth.
Gorgeous Miles Dentistry, Exhibition Street in Melbourne,
if anyone's interested.
Chloe May, you shut the fuck up, Tony.
No.
As an Australian.
No, you better.
And this is going to hit us hard.
Okay.
As an Australian who listens avidly.
Avidly.
It fucks me off to no end when you guys are like,
well, Australia doesn't like us.
Australia hates us.
Fuck you, Australia.
Chloe says, well, you want an Australian?
Here the fuck I am.
Oh, Chloe, that's actually so incredibly kind of you.
I got lots of messages of a similar nature on Instagram this week, people being like,
I'm Australian and I listen, which is very, very kind
because as a bit of a running joke on this show,
most of the people that listen are from America or Europe,
not from Australia, which is where we're from.
We can log in in the back and I can tell you.
Yeah, we actually see it.
26% from the US, 24% from Australia, and I think 16% UK,
and then Canada, rest of Europe, New Zealand's in there as well.
I think what's weird is when two Australians who live in Australia
started a podcast about Australia, we just would have assumed
that it would have been 80% or 90% maybe.
But they aren't.
And that's why it's a bit of a running joke that the amount of people that message us are all American and they go, That Australia. It would have been 80 or 90% maybe. But they aren't. They aren't.
And that's why it's a bit of a running joke that the amount of people
that message us are all American and they go,
I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
I feel like Chloe's on a thing though.
Thanks, Chloe.
24 is like still 24.
Oh, it's still a lot.
Yeah, I think let's not appreciate, wait, let's appreciate.
Australia.
People for listening wherever they're from.
Good call, mate.
Yeah.
Thank you to every single, single, single, single person,
no matter where you're from, far and wide, across the great blue yonder.
Thank you.
Now, Kim is also from Australia.
Oh, fucking hell.
Remember last week we were talking about the RSL?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we kind of didn't know how to explain it.
It's just like a cheap, weird pub that old people sit in.
Well, yeah, I said I think it's normally a sports club,
like a bowls club or something.
So Kim said the RSL stands for Returned and Services League of Australia
and it supports organisation for people who have served
or are serving in the Australian Defence Force,
the Army, the Navy, the Air Force.
Yep.
And I didn't realise that I'd been such a high donator of money
to those people because I've been sinking piss in RSLs for 20 years.
For a long time.
Yeah.
So thanks for letting us know.
And we are raising money.
Yeah, we are.
We're charitable folk.
Thank you for your service.
We talked about resolutions last week.
We did.
Richard Shields wanted to mention one.
My resolution is to get naked more often.
This is in the group, by the way.
I tried a spot of naturism and I absolutely loved it.
What's naturism?
Being naked outside?
Or just being at one with nature.
I'd get so sunburnt.
We can slip, slop, slap.
But are you putting sunscreen on your ding dong?
Maybe you do it in the shade.
Okay.
I don't know why, when I heard the word naturism,
I just assumed you're in the bush, which is like within trees and stuff.
For me, where we are.
So it felt so liberating.
It would.
It absolutely would.
I was nervous at first and I was scared of being judged on my body shape,
but when I did it, all those feelings went away.
I just felt like me.
I was living my best life.
Have you seen that TikTok trend and it's like confidence is hot
and it's someone just like they're like miming along to a song
and they look really meek but then they kind of turn it on
and like look really confident?
And it doesn't matter what you look like, what your body shape is,
what your hair looks like, literally nothing.
The second that you turn it on and you've got like a little bit
of purpose in your vision and you look good,
there is just something about it and I'm so glad that you got that.
Confidence is hot.
Yeah, it's the confidence.
But obviously if you are hot, as in like have a good body or whatever.
It helps.
It helps you be confident.
You are confident because you're like, I look good.
But you look fucking good no matter what you look like.
Yeah.
Hey, I've written a little something extra here.
Oh, for fuck's sake, stop writing poems.
It looks like Richard Shields is no longer going
to be shielding his Richard.
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you.
I'm really proud of you, Richard.
Get out.
See Australia.
A lot of hot cross bun chat last week, which is just everyone has.
Oh, and if I get another fucking message saying,
I don't know what a hot cross bun is, Google it.
And I explained it in the video.
I said it's a delicious little fruit bun.
Yeah, and I noticed that Franco, who edits the video,
has cut out me describing the icing landing strips.
That's fair enough.
That is fair enough.
I can confirm after also receiving thousands of messages.
So many messages.
They're in Canada, New Zealand, Australia and the UK,
but everyone in the USA was freaking never fucking heard of them.
Yep.
Bronte Alicamarticle.
That's not her last name.
Oh, I hope it is.
Alicamaya.
Let's just call her Bronte.
Bronte.
Love hot cross buns.
At my Coles, they sell fruit buns all year round,
but they only have crosses on them for Easter.
Don't make a political man.
Do you know what I mean?
I just thought, and is this one of those things
that I should have known 34 years ago?
Yeah.
Is the cross on the hot cross bun, like, the cross? Yes. Because it's Easter and religious? Yes. Yeah. Is the cross on the hot cross bun like the cross because it's Eastern religious?
Yes.
Mate.
Hot cross buns.
Well, I thought they were called that because it was just a cross of icing.
It's not icing also.
I explained this to you last week.
It's not icing.
But I didn't realise that cross had something to do with the cross.
It's the cross.
So when she wrote that, I was like, I'm a fucking idiot.
Well, I mean, I probably could have told you that.
But no one had.
But yeah.
Everyone just assumed that I knew.
But I mean, it's not really the cross because the cross,
as in the religious symbol, is a bit offset,
whereas the cross on a hot cross barn is like a plus sign.
Yeah.
Maybe that's what confused me.
The Coles are just really skirting around and going,
oh, we'll just take the little symbol off and sell them all year round.
Yeah, I mean, it's smart.
It's smart but also like commit.
But also, I went to my local Coles and they have Vegemite hot cross buns
at the moment.
How do you feel about that?
Which I think I really like Vegemite.
And they also had like raspberry and white chocolate.
That is one of the great combos.
Yeah.
And they've got also like brioche hot cross buns.
Yeah.
I should have brought some.
Let's go have some after.
Yeah.
Brioche?
Are you fucking kidding me?
If you ever, people then say they don't like brioche.
I'm like, fuck off.
Fuck off.
You're wasting your life.
Next bit of feedback.
How do you spell Coles in Australia?
Oh, C-O-L-E-S.
It turns out there's another store in the US called Coles.
Coles, which is K-O-H-L apostrophe S.
Which is sort of like a Target, Kmart, Walmart.
Not quite Walmart, but it's not that place.
No, it's not.
It's purely a supermarket.
It's a supermarket.
It's a supermarket.
I can't believe we've been doing this podcast since last year.
Fuck off.
The amount of people who have DM'd me this week being like,
I haven't spoken to you since last year.
That makes me so happy.
Get a new hobby, everyone.
That makes me so happy.
But the amount, we've been doing this podcast, what, three, four months?
Yeah.
And we talk about Coles all the time and it just didn't even click for me
that all of these Americans have been thinking that we were talking
about like a clothing store.
No, it's like a fresh food supermarket.
But could you imagine in the mind of the US, they're like,
so you're walking into a clothing store, you're picking up some Vegemite
and some fruit buns.
Hot cross buns.
And what's a fucking hot cross bun?
No wonder it's confusing.
Far out.
Finally, I was trying to be poetic when talking about the hot cross buns.
Yeah.
Saying that.
Maybe you should have done an agnostic pun.
Fuck.
I think the line was, as long as the sun orbits the earth.
Orbits the earth.
I was basically trying to say hot cross buns should be available all year round.
They should be, yeah.
But instead of saying that as long as the sun orbits the earth,
which is which?
Do they both move?
Nah, nah, the sun orbits us.
No, we turn.
We turn.
Wait.
Because the moon.
Let me just read the comments.
Maybe they'll answer it.
Anthony, I hate to burst Ryan's bubble,
but if he wants hot cross buns every day, the sun orbits the earth.
He's not ever going to have hot cross buns.
So do we orbit the earth?
The sun stays put and the earth is the one that orbits.
So I have a question.
Yes, Tony's got a hand up.
Yes.
You know, when you look at the solar system and it's like all
of the planets are in order, like my very expensive Mercedes
crashed up near Perth or whatever, that's like how you remember
what the things are.
Oh, is it?
Yeah. Okay. My very expensive Mercedes crashed up near Perth or whatever. That's like how you remember what the things are. Oh, is it? Yeah.
Okay.
My very hot Mercedes.
Mercury, Venus, Mars.
Us.
Hang on.
My very expensive Mercedes just crashed up near Perth.
So it's like Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune,
Uranus, Neptune, Pluto.
That's the order.
Okay.
That's how you remember.
That was hot and made me sound smart.
I did not make you sound either of those two.
But so if they're all in order like that and then here's the sun.
So are you telling me that they're all, oh, that is what they do.
That is what they do.
Yeah, take that back.
All right, yeah, all good, good, good, good, good, good.
We orbit the sun.
Lane Cox, I'm no scientist, but did Ryan just say
that Earth orbited the sun?
Pretty confident it's the other way around.
You're no scientist, mate.
You're on your own.
I am.
Hear that explanation?
Could you imagine?
Welcome to the University of Science degree,
where you are here to learn about science.
On day one, this is what you'll learn.
Professor Tony Lodge.
Read that out again.
My very expensive Mercedes just smashed up near Perth,
and that does orbit the sun because it goes around like this.
That's a very nice hand gesture.
Yeah.
So Lane Cox was on my case.
Yeah.
Don't want to cock on you guys.
I'd hate that.
Let alone Cox. It brought a tear to my eye that I'd done something wrong for Lane Cox was on my case. Yeah. Don't want to cock on your case. I'd hate that. Let alone Cox.
It brought a tear to my eye that I'd done something wrong for Lane Cox.
Oh.
But it's not the first Cox that brought a tear to these eyes.
Sometimes they slip through.
Okay.
Things you love to see. What do you love to see.
What do you love to see?
Okay.
I have a recommendation.
Yes.
Torbs and I have gone back to the early 2000s
and started watching Vampire Diaries.
I've seen.
So I posted about this on my Instagram story.
Never in my whole entire life have I ever received more DMs about something.
Than the Vampire Diaries.
Is it good?
My inbox is about to explode.
And they agree?
And everybody is like, oh, my God, I'm so jealous you're watching this for the first time.
I wish I could go back and watch it for the first time.
Is it that good?
People love it.
I really like it.
So it's kind of like it's trashy, but it's just
it's nice to watch. It's pretty
easy to follow along with.
You can kind of be on your phone while you're watching
but still it's good enough to keep your
attention. One of those
kind of good shows. But also, the reason
that we put it on is because there's
like eight seasons.
So you can just settle in for the long haul.
We've got ages to go through. How sad is it when you get to the end of something? It's like eight seasons. So you can just settle in for the long haul. We've got ages to go through.
How sad is it when you get to the end of something?
It's like a sibling's...
There's something missing from my life now.
It's horrible.
And we've just run out of things to watch.
We've re-watched heaps of the stuff that we normally re-watch.
And, yeah, so we've popped that on.
I really like it.
So recommendation, if anyone's looking for something to watch.
It's currently on Australian Netflix.
Nice.
I've got a recommendation.
Dogs.
Oh, your dog was loving me the other day.
Okay, there's a scandal in the TARP team.
Oh, what?
The TARP Business Proprietary Limited is...
We don't have a business.
We don't have a business.
We have a podcast.
We don't have a business.
Tony, Ryan, Bridget, Torbs, and there's been a workplace scandal
because Tony was busted holding hands with my dog BJ
at my house the other day.
Yes.
What happened?
Well, so we were having a...
Is there something going on?
We were having a business meeting, but we don't have a business.
We don't have a business.
And I was sitting like, because you've got like bench seats around your kitchen. I've't have a business. And I was sitting, like, because you've got, like,
bench seats around your kitchen.
I've got a booth seat.
Booths, yeah, like, around your kitchen table.
And I was sitting there and BJ was kind of laying down next to me
and every time I tried to type or move my hand,
he, like, poured my hand back to him and kept making me...
I was holding his hand like a person.
Like, he just would not let me have my...
His paw not in my hand. So every time he went to type, he was, like, grabbing it. He's like a person. Like, he just would not let me have his paw not in my hand.
So every time he went to type, he was, like, grabbing it.
He's like, no.
He poured it back, and he's got really long nails at the moment.
He does.
Don't bring that up.
It's a touchy subject.
So I got scared that...
Did he scratch you?
No, I got scared that he was going to.
It was like a...
He's aware that he's got fabulous nails, so he's very careful.
Yeah.
No, he didn't scratch me, but I was just like, God,
he's, like, coming at me with those talons.
So I was holding him.
I got up to get a cup of tea and I walked back to the booth
and you're there holding hands with my dog.
Yeah, it was very sweet.
Did you like it or was he annoying you?
Oh, no, I love dogs.
Okay.
Yeah, I like the attention.
I don't get that at home.
You did mention that many times.
You're like, I like coming to your house.
I feel needed and wanted.
I feel wanted, yeah.
And Bridget loves me as well, so we just get along great and have a great time. So I'm like the awkward fourth wheel when you come over to your house, I feel needed and wanted. I feel wanted, yeah. And Bridget loves me as well so we just get along great and have a great time.
So I'm like the awkward fourth wheel when you
come over to my house. But it does mean that we probably can't have
business, non-business meetings at your house anymore
because there's a lot happening.
We'll have to get a co-working space. There's too much tension
in the house. Sexual tension.
Too much going on. Alright, we'll see you tomorrow
guys.
Or woof, because we're just talking about dog.
Woof. Doesn't really have the same ringtone, does it? talking about dog wolf doesn't really have
the same ring
does it
no it really doesn't
meow
meow
meow
meow
meow