Toni and Ryan - Obnoxious new Toni
Episode Date: January 3, 2022Apparently I'm obnoxious now, but in my eyes nothing has changed. Also things you can say in a Library and also in the bedroom! Love ya, T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and mak...e sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello?
Hello, is that Crystal?
Yes.
Hi, this is Tony and Ryan saying congratulations.
Thank you.
Did you just get married, Crystal?
That's so exciting.
Yes, we got married about nine, ten days ago.
Oh, so it's so fresh.
Like, we actually just flew back in from our honeymoon in Mexico yesterday.
Oh.
Crystal's from one of those countries where you can still travel places.
Oh, again, what's that like?
That must be nice.
That's Crystal.
Very nice.
It's great, so.
Oh.
Now, Crystal, did you get the honeymoon suite?
And is that such a thing?
Because I've heard rumors that people will call a hotel,
and, Tony, I don't know if you know about this,
you just call ahead and say, oh, it's our honeymoon,
and then you get, like, a free upgrade and stuff.
Did they, like, take care of you, or is that a myth?
So they do it, but you have to stay for a week
in order for them to do something like that
for you. And then they don't really do much for you. They'll decorate your room a little bit,
and then they'll say, here, do you want to buy a romantic dinner on the beach? But it's still
about $300. Wow. I thought that they would give you free champagne, and it would be some fancy
thing. And then they just give you a different other diamond because you've already got one they're like give you a
matching one i mean they gave us i guess did that yeah they gave us one bottle of champagne
and some tequila and so that was in our room um but other than that they didn't really do much else. So we actually chose this resort because it was kind of pretty remote and brand new.
And they were only operating at about 50% capacity.
So there were lots of, I think there were more workers than there actually were guests there.
So that was kind of cool.
But at the same time, I listened to a lot of true crime with my husband, and I had a lot of moments where I was like,
we could easily just not come back.
Oh, my God.
Crystal, you're on the live podcast.
What are you doing?
Change your name, Crystal.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Oh, sorry, not Crystal.
Hannah, we're about to get started on the podcast.
Would you like to approve it so we can hang up and you can change it?
Live from the witness protection program.
Hey, it's okay.
I'm back home now.
I feel semi-safe.
Okay, great.
Thank God.
We're very relieved.
Very relieved.
Before we get started today and
before we all get offed, would you be able to approve this podcast? Yes, most definitely.
My husband and I both approve y'all and this whole podcast. It's been great for us and
we really truly enjoy it. And I will say that I listen to it every day on my way to work.
And sometimes I tell my husband, oh, listen to this one, listen to that one.
And one of the first ones we listened to the first time together was 100% your cow story, Ryan.
So just letting you know.
Yeah.
I actually think I'm also, I don't know if y'all remember.
I'm the same crystal that sent you my waxing for the
first time with
my Brazilian
oh
just in time for
the wedding
yeah for the
honeymoon of course
fresh John for
the honeymoon
it all makes sense
yeah you probably
should change your
name actually
after all that
hey this is Crystal from Texas and I approve Yeah, you probably should change your name, actually.
Hey, this is Crystal from Texas, and I approve this podcast.
I've made an executive decision.
What is it?
Today's show is called Obnoxious New Tony.
No, I don't like that. I'm just going to write that down.
I'm not.
I'm not obnoxious.
And coming up, we discussed yesterday that New Tony in 2022.
2020 Tony.
Is very festive, very up and about, and I'm loving it.
Easy going.
Easy going.
Last day fair.
Although I feel like that changed mid-episode yesterday.
Well.
However, there was one thing that you've done that I don't like.
Okay.
About your newfound glory and freedom.
Do you know what's a bit different and new about you?
Tell everybody what you're drinking right now.
I'm drinking a hot chocolate.
A hot chocolate.
It's the 4th of January.
It's like 40 degrees outside and you're drinking a hot chocolate.
Well, it's nice and air-conditioned in the studio.
That's pretty loose and fun of you.
That's like a fun drink.
That's as fun as I get, folks.
That's a fun drink.
Look out, he's drinking hot chocolate.
It's like if you go out for dinner and instead of getting like a Coca-Cola
or something, you get an iced tea.
Ooh.
Exactly. People go, oh, that's pretty or something, you get an iced tea. Ooh. Exactly.
People go, oh, that's a bit too big.
Like a Long Island iced tea.
Oh, yeah, or like a Lipton iced tea or something
because it's just a bit different.
It is a bit different.
I actually think we're going to go and get an iced tea on the way home.
I'm fucking loose and fun.
You are loose and fun.
Should we get an iced tea on the way home?
I drove you here.
Why don't we go and get a bubble tea?
I love bubble tea.
Oh, do you really? Yeah, let's do it. You do not strike me as someone who likes bubble tea. Please don't strike go and get a bubble tea? I love bubble tea. Oh, do you really?
Yeah, let's do it.
You do not strike me as someone who likes bubble tea.
Please don't strike me.
Okay.
Well, let's get a bubble tea.
Bridget will like it.
We'll pick her up as well.
Oh, Torbs loves bubble tea also.
He's not invited.
Okay.
On today's episode, of course he is.
We'll go and go bubble tea the four of us.
Yeah, okay.
Is that cute?
Should we go pick Bridget and Torbs up and then go get a bubble tea?
Well, not Torbs because he lives 40 metres from the bubble tea place.
Oh.
It would take longer for him to walk.
Okay, fine.
We'll get them both.
We'll get them both.
We'll hire them limousines.
We'll do whatever.
We'll really treat ourselves.
Oh, okay.
Must be nice.
So yesterday I said I was going to get an Audi and you went,
mate, but you're going to get a limo.
For Torbs, he could walk, you know.
All right.
Things you can say in the library and also in the bedroom.
Oh, God, I hope they've got insurance.
What have you done?
Cracked yourself up so fast.
I hope they've got insurance.
It's so funny.
Ooh, I haven't been inside one of these for years.
You're telling me.
Poor wife.
Oh, I'm trying my hardest to be quiet.
I've got this.
Tony, would you please keep the volume down?
Why is that old lady watching us?
Grandma.
Why does it always smell like old moths in here? I've never...
Of all the faces I've seen you pull in this room,
I've never seen that one.
Oh, it's because you're normally looking at the back of my head.
LAUGHTER
We are not on the same page here.
It's a book joke.
Yeah.
It was really hard to get into, but once I did,
you really just flew through and what a finish.
I really just flew through and what a finish.
There's a lot happening there.
That's very funny though.
I like that.
I actually recommend a membership to do this because it's way cheaper.
I think libraries are free.
But it's still funny.
Someone tweeted and it was like one of those viral tweets and i was like they should be an uber for like books where you can just like borrow a book and
then like take it back go to the fucking library someone's like it's a library it exists it has
for hundreds of years someone also said and we both worked in i still work in radio used to work
in radio they're like oh there should be like podcast thing, but it's like live and like always on. And then these old people are like, it's called radio,
but it's called radio.
That's so funny.
Gen Z's like, imagine like a live podcast.
We could like call in, request a song.
Do you remember requesting songs, like calling up and requesting a song?
I don't think I ever did it.
Oh, the night that my brother and sister-in-law got engaged,
I remember like being in the car with my mum and my two sisters
on the way to their house to, like, go and say congratulations
and, like, take a bottle of champagne or whatever.
Yeah, I've got to you.
I will recommend the song.
And mum goes, we should call up the radio station
and, like, request a song like,
this one goes out to Jamie and Chelsea.
Did they?
No, couldn't get through.
Footy must have been up.
Sorry.
Can I request a song?
Sorry, you've called ABC Talkback.
Yeah.
Yeah, cool.
Can we just get Candle in the Wind by George Michael?
What?
Well, that song's like for death.
That song's like about, and it wasn't by George Michael,
it was by Elton John.
It's about Princess Diana dying.
And people from England will hate that you just said that.
That's not good.
No, but he didn't write that song for then.
Yeah.
It's for Princess Diana.
They played it then, but I don't think it was new then.
Like a candle in the wind.
I think he just dusted off an old one.
No.
Hang on, let me Google it.
And it was the death of your sister's singleness.
Is the candle in the wind about Diana?
It was like he performed it at the funeral,
but it was an existing song.
Oh, it was written about Marilyn Monroe, though.
It was about Marilyn Monroe dying.
Oh.
So different blonde girl dead.
Rest in peace.
Rest in peace.
Back to the library, though.
Things you can say in the library.
And also when Princess Diana dies.
You wouldn't put a candle in a library, would you?
I hope they do have insurance.
Where do I return this?
Oh, that felt personal.
Sorry, I shouldn't have looked at you when I said that.
I can't say this without my glasses.
I should take my glasses off.
That's thick.
Thanks.
Take a while to get through it.
I feel like when I yelled at you before, I needed to get through it. Shh.
I feel like when I yelled at you before, I needed to be like that.
You know that passive-aggressive, like, whispering?
Like when someone...
Tony!
Tony!
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm used to that.
This one's...
I'm going to credit this one.
Jess Jennings put this in the group.
Oh, good job, Jess.
Oh, I love the pop-up version.
Oh, thank God there's a water fountain in here.
That's her name?
Oh.
No?
She's squirting.
Hurting for a squirt.
Hurting for a squ hurting for a screen
I haven't heard that
I didn't even really know
what that meant until I think it just
clicked in my mind
I remember we were walking through
Maya once with my mum I would have been probably
like 11 or 12
and I remember seeing this
t-shirt and I had a picture of an ice cream,
like ice cream in an ice cream cone in it.
And it said, lick me till ice cream.
So like lick me till ice cream.
That's clever.
And I remember being like, that shirt is so cute.
It's got ice cream on it.
Mum, can I have it?
And she was like, absolutely not.
But it wasn't until I was older that I realised what it meant.
How did you realise?
Did you see the shirt 10 years later?
No, because I just used to think about the shirt a lot
because I thought it was really funny.
For years and years you're thinking about this shirt being like,
hee-hee-hee.
From Maya, like, oh, that shirt was great.
And now I get it.
Lick until ice cream.
Lick me till ice cream.
Lick me till ice cream.
Things you can say in Maya and also in the back of a caravan.
I like that.
The back of a caravan.
Sorry, I've been camping.
I've been away.
It's been festive.
It's been nice.
We've been in the country.
Did you have sex in the camper van?
Tony.
Did you?
Tony.
You did.
It's my auntie and uncle's van.
So, yes.
I can cut this out.
Things you can say in the library and also in the bedroom.
Sorry, I went a bit harder than usual.
I might have caused some damage to the spine.
Oh!
Can you just imagine these, like, really dorky kids, like,
like reading a book like a fiend.
Oh, no, not the spy.
I'll be taking this one home for the weekend.
If the front door is closed, just pop it in that hole out the back.
Oh.
I used to come here with my grandma after school.
No, I just come here with you.
Good to see grandma coming in.
Yeah.
Grandma deserves to come also.
Be careful because any wetness actually destroys the books.
Anyway.
Just quickly before we get to obnoxious Newtonian talks.
You've written something here that fucks me off for a different reason
than for why you're going to say it.
What have I written?
You've written hot cross buns.
Why does it fuck you off?
And it fucks me off because you're going to say,
oh, I can't believe that the hot cross buns are in the shops already.
Am I wrong? You are.
Oh, really?
Australians,
not me, Australians
are outraged.
Because hot cross buns are already in the shops.
Christmas is just finished. Why is there an Easter
food already here? You know what they should be outraged
about? What? You know what they should be outraged
about? That you can't buy hot cross buns all year
round. Fucking oh. Are you
fucking serious? Hot cross buns are
delicious. They are so good.
Don't tell me to wait till Easter. I want them
any time. I want them all the time.
I thought we were going to have an argument right now.
No. Oh. Well now
this isn't going to go anywhere because we both
agree. You know. It never happens.
I don't think people will realise this.
Okay.
Just because something's in the supermarket doesn't mean you have to buy it.
No.
So if you don't want your hot cross buns until Easter,
you know what you can do?
Fuck off.
Thank you.
Yep.
But if you do want them.
Buy them.
It's not fucking hard.
Pop them in your fucking toaster.
Enjoy it with some delicious butter.
Believe it or not,
by the size of these loaves podcasting
at you right now.
We love hot cross buns.
We've been in supermarkets and not purchased every single fucking
thing they have.
I know, it's hard to believe.
It is hard to believe.
But you don't have to buy everything at the supermarket.
Quite the opposite.
Yeah.
You just buy what you need.
Yeah, I'll go past the bird seed.
I don't buy it.
I don't have a bird.
And if it's the 1st of January and it's months and months away.
I'm just going to ignore that bird comment.
I'm going to ignore that bird comment.
Wait, an example.
If it's the 1st week of January.
The bird seed's fucked up.
I'm stuck on the bird seed.
The bird seed's fucked up.
Yeah.
Do you want some bird feed?
I don't need it.
How convenient.
But you have to.
Why are they on the shelf?
Start a petition.
Yeah, God, I could buy it.
I should, yeah.
You don't have to buy the stuff that's there.
If you don't want hot cross buns now, you don't have to buy them.
And you know what?
If you're going to be offended by a little fruit bun,
a little delicious fruit bun in a shop, stay inside.
I want carbs.
Do fucking calls online, you stupid bitch.
I want a landing strip of icing.
I want a little fruity or chocolatey surprise.
Yep.
I love a chocolate hot cross bun as well.
How good are they?
They're fucking naughty.
They melt a little bit in the griller.
Oh.
I love raisin toast, like fruit bread.
Yeah.
It's so good.
An unsung hero of the breakfast table, I feel.
Over the break?
Yeah.
I'm not as festive, Ryan, as you are festive, Tony.
Yeah.
But the auntie and uncle, I was at the farm for a few days,
they like make their own bread.
And because they're like farm people, they're like,
oh, we found some fruit here and old mate down the road has this,
so they're making their own fruit bread.
But it's not just the raisins, it's like a bunch of stuff in there.
Yeah, like crystallised ginger and stuff.
So every morning there's thick slices of that, coffee sitting on the veranda.
I would have put on 20 kilos.
I did.
Oh.
Now I've written something on behalf of the hot cross buns.
Oh.
Oh, a little ditty.
Well, I thought I'd just get poetic.
I love that.
Because we are both passionate.
You got poetic for my Christmas present as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's nice.
Maybe that's your resolution. More poems. More poems. It's present as well. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Maybe that's your resolution.
More poems.
More poems.
It's only three lines.
Okay.
I mean, I didn't overdo it.
I didn't overdo it.
Nadia Bartel.
If you don't want hot cross buns in January,
then don't buy them in January.
Don't ruin it for everyone else.
Let me have some hot cross fun.
Let me have some hot cross fun. Let me have some hot cross bun.
Let me have it any time of the year that the earth is orbited by the sun.
365 days.
Sign that petition.
Yeah, I would.
I would sign that change.org petition.
I feel like I've been more aggressive than I normally am.
Oh, no, but I think that if you're going to get aggressive about anything,
it should be hot cross buns and being for them.
I feel like hot cross buns very rarely have an advocate.
Well, I'm prepared to be that guy.
When you look at me, you'll think he's the Harry Potter ambassador
from yesterday and he's also the hot cross bun guy.
That's definitely not where I thought this week was going.
Give me a landing strip of icing.
What are you saying landing strip for?
Because they put a little strip.
No, but it's not icing.
It's like glue.
What is that stuff?
It's just like water and flour.
It's just glue.
Do you know what icing is?
No, but that's not icing.
But it's sweet though, isn't it?
No, it's just glue.
It's like water and fucking flour.
Or whatever it is.
It's a landing strip of glue.
A paper mache strip of whiteness down the middle of the burn.
I'm glad we're on the same side because up next, obnoxious Tony.
See, now we're back.
Hey, this is Crystal from Texas and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A few weeks ago, we talked about Christmas Day horror stories.
Yes, yeah.
And since the festive season, a few more people have said,
oh, well, since you talked about those before Christmas,
I've got a few to add to the list.
So tomorrow, a harrowing coming out story and another iCloud mishap.
Yes.
That's tomorrow.
And a big thank you first up to some of our champion tapas,
Ashley Lee, Jackie Hart, Nathan Fairclough and Stacey Nansen.
Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon.
You've contributed to our running and also to us calling Ryan's barber and apologising
for him shitting on a towel late last year.
So a bit of an update on that probably next week.
We'll organise something.
Yeah, we'll figure something out.
We'll have to make a phone call at some stage.
I'll have to cry and bury myself in a hole and wish I never existed.
And then we'll have to call her.
So this year.
Yep. this year. Yep.
Last year.
It was last year.
2021.
Wait.
This year.
It's 2022.
Fuck.
Tony Lodge has rolled in with a whole new attitude
and I'm all about it.
Well, you said.
Festive, up and about, joyous, carefree.
A bit relaxed.
Very relaxed. Yeah. Very relaxed.
Yeah.
Very relaxed.
Now, I set you the task of writing down four things that is different
about you and Torbs because when we met up, you were like,
we do this now, we're into this, over the holidays I discovered this.
So, please, what are the four main things that are different
about you and Torbs in 2022?
So, over Christmas we stayed with my friend Jane, her family.
So we drove to Albury, which is about three and a half hours
north of Melbourne.
And it's not like a country town.
It's like a city, like it's a proper place.
A regional centre?
Yeah, yeah.
So it's big.
It wasn't as if we were, you know, camping in a one-horse town
or anything like that. But it's big. It wasn't as if we were, you know, camping in a one-horse town or anything like that.
But it's on the river.
So you kind of, it was a lot different to being in the city.
And yesterday I mentioned that it's the first time in, yeah,
probably around two years that Torbs and I have kind of been
out of the city and not been in our house.
Yeah, left the house for more than a few hours.
Yeah, just because we haven't been able to.
But Jane's parents, Kath and Robbie, they put us up for a few nights
and Robbie's actually got a podcast called Glory Days Podcast.
So if you like.
Sorry, you're doing shout outs on our podcast?
Yeah, I am actually.
Okay, great.
So if you like sport or even if you don't,
you just want to go over and hit subscribe and support my new family,
that'd be great.
I'm sure the, as you know, a lot of listeners in the US.
Yes.
Norway, Germany.
Yes.
I'm sure they're fascinated by an Australian cricket podcast.
Big crossover, I would have thought.
You don't have to listen, but if you could download or subscribe,
that would be great.
What are you doing?
That's just nice, isn't it?
You would even give our own podcast a shout-out later.
Yeah, I would.
Do that for us now.
They're already doing it.
They're listening.
Tell them.
Okay, if you love to laugh and you love to get angry about hot cross buns, I would. Do that for us now. They're already doing it. They're listening. Tell them.
Okay.
If you love to laugh and you love to get angry about hot grass buns,
I would love it if you listened to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
You don't have to listen.
As long as you subscribe and download, we get the numbers.
That's fine.
Great.
Okay, thank you.
About time you contributed.
Yeah.
So we stayed up there for a little while. It was the first time we'd kind of been with another family.
You know how you kind of spend time with your family,
but how often do you really end up with like a different family?
You kind of only ever end up with people that have interests
that are the same to yours.
But Jane's family, all the McKinleys, are big sports nuts.
Really?
Just like you and Torbs.
Oh, yeah, Torbs and I are big sports nuts.
You can't say it, but Tony's pulling one of the great faces
because heaven forbid.
Not sports nuts.
Not a sports nut.
And not because I don't like, like I love watching the AFL.
Like I love footy and stuff, but we just never watch footy
or never watch sport in our house.
Anyway, so the whole time we were there, the cricket was on
because the Ashes were on.
But also there's, I guess, like a cricket channel on Foxtel.
Fox Cricket.
Great.
And they were just like replaying old crickets while new crickets weren't on.
And we watched cricket.
And then when we got home from Albury, Torbs was like,
oh, you want to order some dinner?
I was like, no, not yet.
I'm not really hungry.
He goes, oh, cool.
Well, until we do that, I might just chuck a cricket on.
Which night did you watch?
We watched the second day.
So just after the Aussies got out and then, yeah.
And then you guy Bolan was bowling them?
Yeah.
It was exciting, wasn't it?
Fucking Steve Bolan, what a great guy.
Tony Lodge.
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
I know.
Anyway, so we watched the cricket at home.
That was one thing.
So one of your new things is you're a cricket watcher now.
Well, I don't know if I'm a cricket watcher,
but we would never even normally think of putting sport on.
We would put on like a TV show we've watched 100 times just for noise,
you know.
All right, one, sports watching.
Watching cricket.
This is the new Tony in Torps.
Christmas night we all got pretty drunk.
Like we were just having a merry old time.
I was really drunk. Yeah. Jane got pretty drunk. Like we were just having a merry old time. I was really drunk.
Yeah.
Jane was really drunk.
And we just were all a bit loose.
We ended up going to bed at like quarter past 12.
We just had been drinking all day and eating and it was great.
Anyway, we went to bed and the next morning I woke up,
so we'd all been drinking a lot, I woke up to Torbs,
been doing it for eight years,
been going out for seven, know him very well,
getting dressed to go and play golf.
Torbs.
Torbs.
Golf.
Golf.
Now, I don't want to sound mean.
Yeah.
Oh, don't.
I'm not in the position to be throwing shade from glass houses
or whatever the fucking saying is.
Yeah, I get you.
Torb doesn't look like a golfer.
No, and he's just.
He doesn't come across as a golfer.
He's also just not an outdoorsy guy.
I was going to say, or anyone who would spend time in the sun.
He's just not an outdoorsy guy.
And I'm not a real outdoorsy girl either, so it kind of works.
Us pale skins got to stick together.
We're burners, not tanners.
Exactly.
12's family is Irish.
He's safe inside.
And he goes, yeah, like, go and give it a whack.
Like, how bad could it be kind of thing.
And he went with Jane's dad and Jane's boyfriend,
who are avid golfers.
Oh, that could have been bad.
So I was like, are you sure you want to go, mate?
And he was like, yeah, go give it a whack.
You know, how bad could it be?
He comes back. He goes, oh, I've been he was like, yeah, go give it a whack. You know, how bad could it be? He comes back.
He goes, oh, I've been looking on Facebook.
Michael plays at secondhand golf clubs.
Oh, did you know that there's a golf course like right near our house?
Oh, did you know all this stuff?
He's a golfer.
Within one day.
One time of going.
Torbs is a golfer and you're cricket watchers.
This is very off brand for Tony and Torbs.
But I love it for him because what a great hobby.
Was he making any synthesizers on the golf course?
He wasn't.
He didn't solder a thing.
He didn't play any video games.
He read his book, played golf, sat outside.
And then after he went to golf, this is another way we're different,
we went for a dip in the river.
What?
The Murray. I know. You guys are We went for a dip in the river. What? The Murray.
I know.
You guys are going outdoors for a swim.
Yes, outdoor fitness.
I know.
We're brand new girls.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Yep.
You dropped the F word there.
What did I say?
You said outdoor fitness.
Yeah.
Are you going to tell me that you guys waddled into a river,
got knee height, flopped in, cooled off,
and you're going to call that fitness?
That's fitness.
I mean, we swam up a bit further and then floated back down,
like the lazy river.
Floating back down.
It's fitness.
That's fitness.
Fitnessing these bodies into the river.
Well, it's fucking more fit than us sitting and eating chips on the couch.
Yeah, not fair.
So give me that.
I'll give you that it's more than that,
but I will not accept that that was fitness.
Okay.
So swimming in the river, very off brand for us.
Yep.
But I loved it.
It was so much fun.
And then the last thing, we get home from Albury
and we're just like so relaxed, so laid back.
And we've got this, I've got a favourite chef,
which sounds very crazy to most people, but her name's Alison Roman.
I love the shit that she posts.
I've got both of her cookbooks.
She's fucking fantastic.
If you would like to look her up, she's called Alison E. Roman.
It's actually her tiramisu recipe that I made for Christmas.
Did her name used to be in your bio or something?
Yes, it did.
What would Alison Roman do?
Yeah.
What does that refer to?
Like what would she, like instead of what would Jesus do,
what would Alison Roman do?
So she was your God.
I love her so much.
Anyway, we sat on the couch on the day after we got back
and did nothing.
Like we just watched TV, enjoyed, like we sat outside,
just enjoyed doing nothing.
And for most of the day we watched Alison Roman videos
on YouTube because she just, I just love her.
It sounds like old Tony and Torbs.
No, but then Torbs goes, that looks good, what she's just made.
We should have that for dinner.
And I was like, are you sure?
And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll do that.
What was the dish?
She had been making clam pasta, like vongole pasta,
and I was like, are you sure, mate?
Torbs is not a big seafood guy.
Yeah, but he's a river boy now.
River boy now.
Can't believe he didn't go down and catch a carp himself.
Yeah.
And I used to be a fishmonger.
What?
I know.
Was that before or after you worked at the Coles Dally?
Before.
You were a fishmonger?
Fishmonger, yeah.
What does that mean?
So I worked in a fishmonger? Fishmonger, yeah. What does that mean? So I worked in a fish market.
When?
How?
Yeah, after I finished school, before I started at uni,
the only job I could get, I got a job in a fish market.
So I started at like 5.30.
You stink like fish all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
Does that mean you love seafood or nah?
I ate so much of it while I was there that I kind of am a bit like.
You've had your fair crack at it.
Yeah.
I do enjoy it though.
I can appreciate good seafood.
Anyway, but Torbs goes, oh,
wonder if I'll be able to get some clams.
And there's a fish market like near our house,
near the coals that we go to.
Yep.
And he went to the fishmonger and was like,
do you guys have any clams?
Had a great old chat.
Torbs, like never talks to anybody.
He's a bit like Bridget, like, can you call them?
Can you call them?
You're so good at talking.
You talk for a living.
You can do it.
That kind of vibe.
He goes over, makes friends with the fishmonger,
and at the end of the conversation the guy goes, oh, no,
we're not getting any in.
Torbs is chatting to him about this recipe he wants to make.
Then right at the end he's like, we get clams every Tuesday.
So if you come in next Tuesday, I'll sort you out.
Sort you out, Giza.
I'll clam you out.
Yeah.
So he's got the inside word from the fish guy.
He's got the inside word from the fish guy.
So let me get this straight.
Yeah.
We're golfing, clamming river girls.
So I'm all about this new life.
Thank you.
I'm loving this energy.
Thank you.
You've got a glow.
Thank you. I'm guessing Torbs has got a glow. You guys are eating seafood. You about this new life. Thank you. I'm loving this energy. Thank you. You've got a glow. Thank you.
I'm guessing Torbs has got a glow.
You guys are eating seafood.
You're making new friends.
You're seeing new things.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
You have changed, though.
What?
In a good way.
No.
I've changed in a good way.
No, in a good way, in a good way, but there is one thing that you did.
What?
Which I would go as far as to say it's obnoxious.
Okay, what did I do?
Is it fair to say you're very normally, like old Tony,
would just be like self-conscious and not wanting to put anyone out
or do anything wrong?
Yeah.
Is that fair to say?
Yeah, that is.
I'd say I'm still like that.
We were talking about how carefree you were.
Yeah.
And you bumped your drink bottle and you said,
normally that would really wind me up because I spilt a bit of water
and whatever.
But now, says Tony Lodge, I don't even fucking care.
Watch this.
And then you picked up your Frank Green water bottle
and squirted water out of it into this studio.
Onto the TV screen that is worth $5,000.
And the reason we know how much it cost is because we broke it.
We broke it.
No, no, no. We broke it about two months ago.
We did not break it.
You fucking broke it.
You smashed into it and you smashed it all up.
Why did I smash it?
Were you throwing something at me?
No, I didn't throw anything.
It was a video and you were jumping into the side of the thing
but you jumped into the TV screen.
Don't say that was us because it wasn't.
It was you.
The screen broke and we were in here.
Yes.
Hence I know how much it cost to fix because there was issues.
Okay.
So then you, Tony, waltzes in and goes,
I don't even fucking care about anything.
I'm just going to sling my water all over the room.
That's not true.
Squirt it up onto the screen because I'm carefree, Tony.
It did not go onto the screen.
2022 Tony is carefree.
Two drops came out of the tub.
So you admit it, water did come out.
Yeah, but it didn't go onto the TV screen.
Was it towards the TV screen?
No, it wasn't.
It was on the floor, in the bin actually.
When you squeezed it at the TV, did you say, and I quote,
new Tony doesn't even give a fuck?
Yeah, I probably did say something like that.
But it did not go on the TV.
It wasn't at the TV screen.
I didn't do it on the TV.
It went a little bit next to me on the floor.
Then I got a tissue and I cleaned it up.
Did you?
Yes.
Where's the tissue?
Lies.
I know that it was his tissue because after I used it on the floor, I was like Where's the tissue? Lies. I know that it was his
tissue because after I used it on the floor I was like
is that weird if I blow my nose into that? And I thought
no and I kept using it.
Yes, it is.
I do honestly love to see the new Tony though.
If you love me, you would love to see it.
I do love to see it.
Good.
Like I said, 99% of it.
That was just...
I would just like to say that I'm not that guy.
I'm not a vandaliser.
I would never do that.
That was just a little joke.
Very funny.
Comedian in the house.
Just a little joke.
Very funny.
Comedian in the house.
My love to see it is a meme of a guy, a chef, who's holding,
there's a big tray on the floor next to him,
and he's spilt baked beans all over the ground.
And it says, best not tell this guy any secrets.
Because he spilled the beans.
I do love to say that. I saw that and laughed for about 15 minutes.
And worth it.
Yeah, like time well spent.
You might have seen
I posted in the Tony and Ryan
podcast Facebook group.
I don't think I'm in that group.
Tell us your You Love To See It.
And I said, mine is I learned how to use Canva,
so I made this moving image thing.
Oh, yeah, and I said that was very impressive.
So Rachel.
Oh, hi, Rachel.
Commented on the post.
And so it was, like, animated.
Yes, it, like, kind of swooped in.
Yeah.
I thought when you said you made a moving post, it was, like, emotional. Oh, like, kind of swooped in. Yeah. Yeah. I thought when you said you made a moving post,
it was, like, emotional.
Oh, like moving.
Yeah.
Oh.
I watched it, like, four or five times before realising
it actually just moves.
Oh.
She was like, oh, where's the bit?
Like, where's the moving story?
What a beautiful idiot.
What a beautiful idiot.
But a few comments on that post. Aw. Dane Liesel starts a new job with a heap more cash this year. She got a beautiful idiot. What a beautiful idiot. But a few comments on that post.
Dane Liesel starts a new job with a heap more cash this year.
She got a big promotion.
Oh, congratulations.
That's fucking awesome.
And Courtney Wolfe, she believes this isn't a big deal, but I disagree.
Mm-hmm.
I kicked my husband's ass at Mario Kart for the first time ever.
Now, I love to see that.
I love to see that.
Now, I can assure you, when your partner thinks they're better at you than something, at something,
and then you finally beat them, like, for instance, if Bridget spoke good.
Yeah.
Not that it would be surprising that she's better than you, yeah.
When your partner thinks they're really great at something and then you beat them.
Yeah.
I fucking love to see that.
Oh, and just because... Pull them down a peg.
And the smugness on a partner.
Because you know that there's no ill will.
You know that everything's fine, but you can really fucking get at them
without them sucking.
It's so good.
Courtney, well done, mate.
We love to see it.
Bloody legend.
Well done.
And sorry that I wasn't a better post, Rachel.
Oh, yeah, Rachel, I love to see that.
It moved me. You learning a new skill, I find that moving yeah, Rachel. I'd love to see that. It moved me.
You learning a new skill, I find that moving.
Thank you.
Yeah.
What have you learned recently?
What have I learned recently?
Learned how to float down a river.
Am I right?
I haven't learned anything.
It's only the fourth day of the year.
Give me some time.
I haven't learned anything. It's only the fourth day of the year. Give me some time. I haven't learned anything recently.
Hang on.
When was the last time you learned something?
And this is a random question.
It fucking is.
You are aggressing at me.
And anyone else can answer this in the episode thread.
Oh, I feel like I learn stuff.
Like I learn stuff all the time, but it's not.
I don't...
When was the last time I learnt something?
Report back tomorrow.
Chat to you tomorrow, everyone.
You big bunch of learners.
I'm stressed.