Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 44 - Lovely Julian, Wiener Maid

Episode Date: March 27, 2023

Bubbles is sick AF today, and no, it's not from his St. Patty's Day liquor blowout! He gives his opinion on Cocaine Bear, and comes up with some dope sequel ideas! Also: A new business idea for Julian, and Ricky's wish list for this weekend's Fan EXPO in Cleveland!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to SwearNet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys SwearNet app. Holy fuck, Bubz. You know what? You're sick. I know I'm sick. You drank way too much last week. No, it's not from drinking. The whole St. Paddy's thing fucked you. You can't keep up with us anymore.

No, it's not that. I've got the FLU, baby. What's that? The FLU. The flu, right? Four lines of... So what's... You've got the shits.

You've got aches and pains. Aches, pains, shits. What else is going on with you? Headache, body, whole body aching. Well, you slept outside that time when you were fucking wasted. Like, half on the pool picnic table, half off. I met a leprechaun, too. Well, see, it's the booze, man.

You gotta fucking pace yourself a little bit better, bud. It's not the booze. I've got the man. You've got to fucking pace yourself a little bit better, bud. It's not the booze. I've got the illness. I've got an illness. The booze is actually helping me get through it. What's wrong with your diaphragm? My diaphragm. Yeah, you've got some stomach pains.

There's some pains down there. Yeah. How are your nostrils? Nostrils are perfect. How's your bag? down there? Yeah. How are your nostrils? My nostrils are perfect. How's your bag? My bag? Yeah, is it swollen? Not the last time I had a hold of her.

Is it soft? Is it shaved? It is shaved. Why are you asking me that? Are you trying to get some visuals going? I heard someone saying this chick was like going, hey, you know, they were doing this test on her, these wrinkle creams.

And she's like, you know what? If you want to fucking show me if this product works, you put it on my husband's bag. No, you're not going to cram those on somebody's bag. Those are purposeful wrinkles. Those are wrinkles. That's for expansion. Who's got a fucking perfectly smooth sock?

Don't know, man. Nobody. Giraffe, maybe? Giraffes? Yeah, maybe some animals. You ever seen a giraffe sock? Yeah, I actually have. They got a big sock.

Nostrous, man. Boys, I need just a fucking... Drink up. Get that in you. Get the booze in you. Yeah, well... Might make you feel better. Get the booze in you. Yeah, well. Might make you feel better. You should get Julian a cranky in the face.

Why? No, I couldn't do that. No. All right, a big happy birthday earlier this week. Crank went off. Guess whose birthday it was. Whose? It wasn't really a who.

It was what? The number of the beast, Iron Maiden. Turned 40. 40? 40 fucking years ago, beast, Iron Maiden, turned 40. 40? 40 fucking years ago, boys. Well, the album was released 40 years ago. Six, six, six. That's a wicked album, man.

I remember the day that fucking thing came out. That was 40 years ago? That was 40 fucking years ago. Jesus Christ. How is that possible? And it's still cool. You still can crank it up and have a good time partying. I remember the day

the fucking thing came out because my neighbor at the time lived in the park there where I lived down the other end. He got it on cassette. We put it in the thing. I can't remember his name. Do you remember the little guy with the fucking the wobbly eye?

He had the wobbly eye and he had... Ethan Wobbleye. Was his name Ethan? Yeah. And he had great big forearms like Popeye. Yeah. He was a weird little fucker, wasn't he? He was a weird little bastard.

He tasted music, though. That was the first one in the park, the One-Eyed Maiden thing. Yeah, and he had that really cool blaster. We used to walk around the park blasting. Didn't we take his blaster? I think so. I think you did. I was a bit of a bully move, man. You guys are fucked. He was my friend.

Whatever happened to him? Is he still around? I think he's in jail. Yeah, probably. Yeah. All right. Are we gonna get this going or what? You okay, man? Do you wanna make it? Yeah. All right. Are we going to get this going or what?

You okay, man? Do you want to lie down on the table? Ooh. What are you going to do to him when he does? You're not fingering me. Burn therapy to you. No, here, get her going. You do the honors.

I'm going to have a nap. Do it, man. It's the first one of the spring. Is it? Okay, springtime. Welcome to Park After Dark. I'm your host, Julian. I'm the co-host, Richard. It is March the 2-4. What about the co-co-host? Sammy Sickness. Sammy Sickness.

Sammy Sick Tits. Don't get us sick, man. No, if we get sick... Well, I'm trying to. I can go lay on the couch if you want me to. Hopefully it's not Corona. It's not Corona. I tested myself. It's Irona.

So what's happening? Yeah, what's going on? I can't fucking believe it's spring, man. It is spring. What the fuck? It means it's gonna get man. It is spring. What the fuck? It means it's going to get warm. We can move back to the car soon. Hopefully stay out of jail.

We'll see. Why are you moving back to the car? Just to have my own space. It's nice out, man. I like the fresh air. Don't like the squirrels. Supposed to go up to what today? 10 degrees or something?

Well, it's five degrees. I might get my Speedo on. You don't want to do that. I might get my Speedo on. I'd like to see that. Go down to the pond. A sick man should not be in a Speedo. Well, maybe.

This time of the year. It's not that bad. Maybe he should be. So there's a sequel to Cocaine Bear coming out called Cocaine Shark. No, there isn't. Yeah, and I think that might be a little scarier. Cocaine Bear was fucking terrible.

Did you see it? Yes. All right, well, give us the rundown. It's pretty much what you expect. No, it's not. I thought I was going to see him, you know, they could have made it a lot better. He's just pretty vicious. You don't even see him doing the, you know, he eats it or whatever.

But now if they were smart, what they would have did was, you know, say one of the big kilos they find in the woods, it gets like a hole poked in it on somebody's bike or their backpack. Yeah. And they're driving along and it's pouring out and it makes a big, long line. He's like sniffing and trying to get to it. And then the bear's like... going long, you know. So that didn't happen.

No, he just... That's what should have happened. I know, he should have been doing, like, he should have had a credit card. Or a job in the mouth. That's a little goofy, man. That's a little Sesame Street. Well, if you're gonna do cocaine, bear,

you might as well. Well, you want to make it look kind of believable, man. Yeah, but all he did was eat it, and then he just got vicious and tore people in half. I mean, he should have... Well, you want to make it look kind of believable, man. Yeah, but all he did was eat it, and then he just got vicious and tore people in half. So it was like a horror flick, was it? And there wasn't enough of the bear in it. They were trying to make all these other stories all fit together,

and it was just like, just show me the fucking bear doing some rails. And then partying. It didn't happen. No. He was a killing bear. He should have been in his cave, like, fucking partying. Listening to music.. No. He was a killing band. He should have been in his cave like farting, partying. Listening to music.

He didn't dance or anything? No. Oh, fuck. He didn't do anything and he didn't do one proper, like, you know, you want to see him do a big fucking hooter.

So was this, is this movie considered a success? I don't think so. I mean, it got a lot of press, but I don't think anybody's impressed with it. The guy that was in the suit was a DJ Jazzy Jeff. What suit? The bared suit.

There's no bare suit. It was all CG bare. There was a guy in the movie. Are you fucking kidding me? Oh, man. There was no... Does a shark have a nose? Mm-hmm.

Yeah, man. How would he cut up lines with his little fins? Oh, he's eating it, man. Well, I mean, you can't do it underwater. It's just a nose? Mm-hmm. Yeah, man. How would he cut up lines with his little fins? Oh, he's eating it, man. Well, I mean, you can't do it under water. It's just gonna vanish. Yeah, but if it was to go in his gills. No, but if you put cocaine in water,

it just vanishes, doesn't it? It's just like, you know, it's like throwing fucking sugar or powder in the water. It just goes away. It's still there. How the fuck does a shark get on cocaine? Is there really a sequel called Cocaine Shark? That's what I read.

I don't know if it's true or not. No, see, they should do, like, meth moose. Meth moose. Meth moose would be great. How the fuck's a, how would that go down now? He could roll into, like, you know, the bad part of town. He rolls in downtown. Fucking antler somebody to death and take his...

Well, he's downtown, you know, looking for food behind the dumpsters and stuff. Which they do. There's a meth dealer there, and somehow the moose does some, and then he wants the rest, so he gets out and he huffs him to death, gets his meth out of his backpack. Or hold it, he sniffs it in his backpack. Maybe he starts selling it, cutting it, you know, cutting it and selling it. How is he smoking?

It's ridiculous, man. Just eat it. Well, he could do both. He could have a fight. If you eat meth, would you get all fucked up? Same thing? I don't know. I think so.

You can take meth and pills, can't you? Like Breaking Bad, weren't those meth pills? Oh, man. There's no meth in fucking Cernyville, thank fuck. But Breaking Bad, they were making meth, weren't they? I didn't know it was pills. Yeah, didn't they have bags of pills? No, man, that wasn't meth, was it?

I thought it was just pieces of crystal. That was meth. Well, yeah. It was crystal meth. Well, wasn't that the same thing? I don't know, man. I thought there was like a terry. I think the crystal you smoked, don't you? Oh, I don't know. I'm not sure how we got talking about smoking meth.

Because a moose is gonna make its way into a movie theater. Yeah. Or what about Heroin Rat? Heroin Rat, okay. He'd be good. He's down there with his little rat needle, putting her in. Yeah, but what's the whole deal with the story with that? That's not much of, it's a rat.

Well, he might be running around New York and he fucking gets on a syringe by accident, pricks himself, and then he's like, holy fuck, am I ever out of her? What was in that? I better. I don't think he'd be that vicious though. What are you, just a rat?

Well, you could do like a Ratatouille kind of thing, animated, like a wolf. Yeah, but he's all fucking geared up. Yeah. Speaking of animals on drugs, they found this exotic cat up in a tree. It was a fucking leopard in Cincinnati. Jeez. In Cincinnati.

Tested positive for cocaine. I'd love to find a leopard up in a tree. How the fuck did they get on cocaine? Yeah, but this is a real one. Because people are dropping it out of airplanes and losing it. Why'd they even test him for cocaine? That's an even better question.

He must have had that look in his eye. He must have had a weird behavioral thing going on. No, he probably had coke snot on his nostrils. And they were like, what? Look at this guy. He's all railed up. He's on the gear. Why would you give a kitty cat cocaine? He like, what? Look at this guy. He's all railed up. He's on the gear. Why would you give

a kitty cat cocaine? He's right on the gear, this guy. Ah, some fuckhead probably. Lots of money, lots of coke. I'm gonna fuck up my little kitty here.

Well, it's a leopard. Yeah, I know. It's a big kitty. I know it's a big kitty. I was just pretending I was the dealer there. Gonna get fucking railed up with my cat today?

Yeah. Here, I'll do one, you do one. I wouldn't want to be Gonna get fucking railed up with my cat today. Yeah. Here, I'll do one, you do one. I wouldn't want to be around a leopard on cocaine, I don't think. No, no. No, he's gonna be very... He's gonna be very confident. This is declawed. Declawed and detoothed.

He's gonna be very confident that he can fuck take you down. Yeah. Very confident. Well, there's a new business you should start, Julian, because there's a Florida maid. Yep. Charges 300 bucks an hour, and she cleans your house topless.

That's old news, man. Is it? It's been going on forever, yeah. I don't know. She's fucking making like 1,400 bucks a day. 1,400 bucks a day? You could get some white ladies doing that around here, I think. Topless maids? How much does it cost to get your house cleaned?

$300 an hour. What would it be for my shed? You get a full hour. That might be... I wouldn't need her in there. It wouldn't take an hour to clean my shed. Well, that doesn't matter. I don't want a topless lady cleaning my shed, by the way.

I'm just wondering if it's by the square foot or what do the bottomless dude make? Do you follow them around while they're cleaning your house? Well, yeah, perverted fuckers would do that with their tongues hanging out,

you know? Pants down? Yeah. Just weirdos, man. Yeah. You'd be getting all... Where's this, Florida? Yeah, it's a pretty easy gig, though.

You'd be getting all kinds of fucking weirdos. 300 bucks an hour is a pretty easy gig, though. You'd be getting all kinds of fucking. 300 bucks an hour is a lot of money. American, yeah, that's a lot, man. Would you do it? What kind of money? What, for what? Would you be a topless man? No, man.

You wouldn't? Well, I would, yeah, for 300 bucks an hour, fucking rights, I would. What about bottomless? No, man. That's like, no. Julian's wiener maid service. No, man But I'm wrong the wiener maid Randy might do something like that No, but nobody there's some sick people out there would pay 300 bucks to have me. All right, you jingle off your new business

I'm Julian the wiener maid Clean your house with my wiener out. I'm Julian the wiener maid. I'll clean your house with my wiener out. I'm Julian the wiener maid. You can get some little penis attachments to clean with.

Yes. A duster? A feather duster? You're going to turn my fucking thing into a Dyson. Not happening. Oh, a Dyson.

The Dyson dick. He could do some clacking, Ricky, with a feather duster on there. Get clacking. Get clacking. I'll clack your table with my feather duster wiener. And I'll clean your TV screen with a squeegee. Get into little tiny spots. Yes.

I can get into all the little nooks and crannies. Holy fuck. See, this guy's got a good idea. Julian the Wiener, man. All these people going like electric cars and shit. This guy's like, fuck you. I'm going to put a World War II plane engine in my station wagon. Ooh, a Rolls Royce or a Merlin?

No way. In a station wagon? Look at this fucking beast. That fucking sounds pretty badass. I'll show you guys first. Check that out. What is it, a Rolls Royce? It's a paint job. I pretty badass. I'll show you guys first. Check that out. What is it? It needs a paint job.

I'd paint it black, but I would cruise around on that motherfucker. Oh, yeah. A Rolls Royce Merlin, I bet you. How'd the fucking hood get so long? Because it's an engine, Ricky. It's an engine, man. They're fucking long. The engine out of like a fucking P-51 Mustang or something.

How many horsepower would that be now, bubs? Oh, she'd be a lot. How many? P-51 Mustang? Oh, she'd be a lot. How many? P51 Mustang. Oh, 2.35 miles per gallon. It's a V12. Wow. 750 horsepower.

Nice. That's not really a wheel show, man. But that's nice for 1940. 1944, there wasn't a lot of fucking V12 750 horsepower. Yeah, and it's a 70s station wagon. It is a Rolls-Royce Merlin, man. Good going, bud. Rolls-Royce Merlins.

That's what was in P-51s. Gorgeous engine. Spit fires. Would you do something like that to the Carlo if I was to find one of these engines? You'd have to elongate the whole front. Well, yeah. It wouldn't fit her in the Carlo.

Obviously, pups. She's a long fucking engine. I would, yes. Yeah, that's a nice car, though. Obviously, pups. She's a long fucking engine. I would, yes. Yeah, that's a nice car, man. Holy fuck, would it ever be loud? Jesus, that'd be a loud fucking car. Have you ever stood next to a P-51 when she fires up? It's loud.

Jesus, you can't talk next to it. It's fucking screaming. That's decent. Put some wings on that, up you go. Look at this fucker. Look at this guy. He's naked. No, he's not naked.

Why are you looking at naked dudes again? You gotta respect that guy. He's 90 fucking years old, man. Why are you looking up 90-year-old naked man? He was just there, man. It popped up. He's a bodybuilder, 90 years old. 90-year-old naked man. You're going to search that? 90-year-old naked man. Is that what you searched up? 90-year-old naked man in good shape?

It's just a story. 90-year-old naked man with good bodies. Enter. Enter. No, man. Let's see what comes up. No, no. Put it into your smart box.

90-year-old man with good bodies. See what comes up, Julian. That guy must be like a, he must be the man in like the old folks' home. Oh, I would think so. He would be the banging machine. Oh, I would think so, yeah. See, that's what I want to be like when I'm 90, if I make it. That dude.

You want to look just like that? Well, in shape, you know. You want to be a fuck machine. I want to hit that fucking seniors complex like a tsunami, man. You know what I'm saying? Hello, ladies. Check this. I'm gonna do a little pose.

Hello, ladies. There's a tsunami of cock about to hit this fucking building. It is in shape. Believe me. Right on. Very impressed with that old fella. Jesus Christ. Respect, man. What if you're out of shape with a 12-inch hog on you?

You're probably going to get just as many. You're going to get that fucking old fella going, man. Yeah. It's like trying to move a fucking 18-wheeler with a... What if you got dimension? You're just walking around with it fucking fully out, just showing it to people. There's probably people doing that.

Oh, of course there is. Hey. Johnny, you got to put your bird away. Put your bird away, Johnny. Did you hear about the guy that got arrested and robbed a bank and just asked for $1? See, that's not very smart. No, there must be easier ways to get arrested.

He must have wanted to go to jail, I guess. No, definitely, man. Did he have a gun with him? Oh, yeah. And then he's like, just give me a dollar and call the police. Oh, yeah. He wanted to get arrested for sure. Oh, yeah.

Okay. He wanted to go to jail. I thought he was really stupid. But there must be better ways, isn't there, to go to jail than... Well, he must have wanted to go for a long time, because it doesn't matter how much money he's asking for. It's still bank robbery. You know what?

If you're going to do something like that, steal a car, a nice one, and go on a high-speed chase. Have some fun. Try to get away. Have some fun, then go to jail. Yeah, but you could get shot doing that. Yeah. Well, you could get pit maneuver, and down you go into a lake. Fucking what a time it would be, though, man.

It's better than, like, give me a dollar. Well, if you get pit maneuvered, you know, and you go off a cliff down into a fucking ravine, that's not great. Don't call me that, man. No, Ricky, not that kind of ravine. Ravine, not ravine. He's a bargain man.

Is his son still doing this shit? Who? His son, ravine. Ty? Yeah, is he still cruising around being ravine? I think so. Haven't heard from that guy in a while. Yeah, Ty ravine. Ravine, the mentalist.

He was fantastic. Wow, man, this is- He's a fucking man that- This lady, this lady did, this should be like a fucking movie. Is this the one that cut the hamster in half? What? Oh.

No, man. What? No, no. Who cut a hamster in half? That sick fuck over in England. What? Was it alive? Yes. Aw, don't.

Killed a hamster, cut it in half, and ate it. And it was on fucking Facebook or something. Oh, she ate it. That's all right. No, she killed him. Fuck no. He cut him in half when he was alive and then ate him. How is that all right? Because it's food.

It's fucking food. She didn't cook him, though. She just cut him in half on camera and ate them. They're still moving, hamster sushi. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you can't. That's not fucking normal. But still, it's food, right?

Yes. Hamster. Did she get in trouble? Hamster tarts her. Yeah, but did she get in shit? Did they rest it? Yes, she did. She's going to jail, I think.

Or she at least got arrested. That's like animal cruelty. You don't cut an animal in half. What the fuck? What do you do with lobsters and shit, man? Here, that's different. Lobsters don't have the same nervous system as a hamster. So it comes down to nervous system, does it?

Well, if you're going to kill an animal for food, you don't just cut him in half while he's alive. No. You do it humane as possible. Maybe she was cutting the thing in half to kill it so she could eat it. Yeah, but you don't do that. Chloroform it or do something to it. Chloroform it?

No, man. No, then you're going to be eating that shit. All right, well, was she starving to death or was she just fucking... I'm gonna do it. Chloroform it. No, man. No, then you're gonna be eating that shit. All right, well, was she starving to death or was she just fucking- I think she was on drugs, but I'm not 100%. I'm guessing. She was a wingnut, is what she was. She was what they call an arsehole.

So you got born to a Mercer 2-4. Harry Houdini got born to- Oh. Was he good? The best. He was wicked, man. Harry Houdini got born too. Was he good? The best. He was wicked, man. Harry Houdini still. Hard to keep him locked up, wasn't it?

Nobody could still to this day. How did he fucking die? Harry Houdini had an ingrown heart on. What? He had an ingrown heart on. Ingrown heart on? Yep. Killed him. His boner went the wrong way.

Pierce just heard. John Rock. Jesus Christ, bubs. He got born. Who? John Rock. The fuck's that? He invented the birth control pill.

He probably had to, because he had a big rock. He's not Rocker. Yeah, man, I don't think that had anything to do with it, man. John Rock. Oh, Clyde I don't think that had anything to do with it, man. John Rock. Oh, Clyde. The bank robber. Who?

Clyde. Like Bonnie's friend? Yeah. Yeah. Bonnie's little buddy. Bonnie's buddy, Clyde. But they had some good times, though, eh? I would think so.

Gorgeous George. Until they got fucking massacred with a Tommy gun. They got hit a lot. Until they got massacred with Tommy guns. It's all fun and games, eh? Didn't you like Gorgeous George, Bubz? Yeah, big crush. You liked Gorgeous George, didn't you?

Who's Gorgeous George? The wrestler. Oh, George the Animal Steel? I don't know. It just says Gorgeous George. I like George the Animal Steel because he was fucked. Steve McQueen, Julian. Ooh. Boner time.

Oh, man. A lot of respect for Steve McQueen. He was the man. You want to talk about high-speed chases? There's your ballot. Fuck, bullet. That was wicked. They'll never shoot a fucking note. That was amazing. Chase looked out again.

San Francisco? Well, if he didn't give you a boner, this next one might. What's her name? Let me poke it. Don't get the fucking thing away from me, man. Come on, just let me see if she's... Poke your own boner. David Suzuki.

Oh, my God, man. Why?, just let me see if she's... Poke your own boner. David Suzuki. Oh, my God, man. Why? David Suzuki gives you a boner? No, man. It would give him a boner. I love David Suzuki. I'd love to meet him.

That's the wrong guy. Louis Anderson? Louis Anderson, very funny comedian. He died not too long ago. What? Yes.

Oh, yeah, he did. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Louis Anderson died a couple years back. Fuck. 2022. Post to him. Cheers. What? Yes. Oh, yeah, he did. No, he didn't. Yes, he did. Louis Anderson died a couple years back. Fuck. 2022. Close to him. Cheers.

Poor Louis Anderson. Cheers. Happy birthday, bud. Because he was on the show with Zach Galifianakis' Baskets. Remember, he played Zach's mother. And he didn't change his voice at all. He just talked in a regular voice. And Peyton Manning, another little Julian Boner.

talk to him in a regular voice. And Peyton Manning, another little Julian Boner. You're gonna flip the table. No, it's just ridiculous at this point, Bubz. It's nothing to get mad at. It's just... No, I mean your boner's gonna flip the table. So many fucking boner

people coming at you. Boners, boners, boners. Yeah, as I was saying, there's this lady in columbia her her her husband was killed by one of these drug lord guys right yeah which one guess what she does uh okay let me see he was a fucking crime boss he's not saying his name fuck anyway this chick props to her, man. She got in tight with this guy that killed her over years and years. Yeah. Got in all, you know, was basically seeing this guy just to get revenge.

No way. She played the long game. She played the long game. She got enough information to get the guy prosecuted. Bye-bye. Oh, so she didn't kill him? She put him in jail? No one could take this guy down.

Yeah, no, they couldn't take him down. That's gonna be a movie. It's gonna, it should be a movie. That's gonna be a movie. It should be a fucking movie, man. How long of a long game did she play? How many years? Years, man.

How many? Uh... Like, ballpark. It just says years plan, and I'll see if I can get more information. I wonder, was it like five or 20? I think it's probably like five or so, man. Let's see.

He played the long game and took him down. Got to be patient, I guess. That's going to be a movie for sure. Oh, yeah, they couldn't get this guy. The movie should be called The Long Game. The Long Game. Maybe I'll write it. Taking down a drug lord boss in the cartel.

His name is Wancho. Wancho? Wancho. Wancho. Yeah. She's gonna get killed, though, probably. Oh, she's fucking toast, man. No, I don't think so.

If she put Wancho away... She's gotta move to, like, the Keys or something. Wancho's family's probably not happy. The Keys. That's kind of funny. Hmm. Yeah, she got him to fall in love with her, man. And then she fucked him. She was probably, like, banging this guy, having to go puke, going,

what the fuck, but he's going down. Yeah, she probably just had to go to her happy place. That's right. While he was banging and just said, yeah, you bang away, fuckface. You're going to jail. Poor lady. She went through a lot. Cheers to her. Let's give her a cheers.

Let's give her a cheers. Played the long game. Fuck her. You gotta admire that. Well, I think that's all I got, boys. I got the shits. That's what I got. You sound like you're feeling a little bit better.

It must be the liquor. Well, it's the liquor. So it wasn't the booze that did it. It's the booze that's helping it. No, usually if you get the flu, I find, if you can power through it with a couple of, a couple of, you know, saucers. Yeah.

Get on the sauce a couple times. Oh, man. Well, you better fucking start feeling better because we got to be at sauce a couple times. Oh, man. Well, you better fucking start feeling better, because we got to be at the airport in like an hour, bud. What? Where are we going? Cleveland. I forgot to tell you, but tonight.

Something we got to do. We're going to Cleveland today. We are going to Cleveland. Oh, my gosh. We're going to be at the Fan Expo tonight, tomorrow, and Sunday. And Cleveland is the what home of what? Rock and Roll Hall of Motherfuckers. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Are we going? I'm going. Why not? Oh, I love the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Remember last time we were in Cleveland? The whole downtown was just like a ghost town. Yeah, what was going on there? I don't know, but all the buildings were, like, abandoned.

Was it violence? I don't know, but it was fucking creepy. It was like being on a set of a movie where the apocalypse happened. Maybe that's what was happening. Maybe they were making a movie. I just remember being downtown and there wasn't a fucking person

anywhere to be seen. And none of the businesses were opened and fucking things were boarded up and I was walking around going... Wasn't that Sunday, though? It had to have been. No, it wasn't a Sunday. It was a fucking Thursday afternoon.

It was fucked. Well, we are going to have a fucking good time. Hopefully some people will bring us some treats and presents. Since we can't fucking bring any. Ricky, you might as well just tell them what you want. Just make a list. What do you want specifically, Ricky? What can they bring you?

Hash? Hash is a good go-to. Yeah. Hash. Bring Wick, Wickie. Wickie? Bring Wickie some wash.

Those little edibles. Ricky wants hash. He wants edibles. Oh, you know what's really good? Those drinks that have the weed in it. Weed drinks.

Weed drinks? They're nice, boys. They're easy to get into the convention center. They are. That's true. So bring Ricky weed, hash, edibles, weed drinks. Let's not get too fucking carried away here. Well, I just mean... Donuts?

Some donuts, maybe? Weed donuts? No, just normal donuts. You gotta eat. If there's a nice donut shop there in Cleveland, like, you know, like a hip... Some donuts, maybe? Weed donuts? No, just normal donuts. You gotta eat. If there's a nice donut shop there in Cleveland, like, you know, like a hip... Any kind of snacks, I guess. Snacks?

We do get hungry. Yeah, like those, like, you know, like hipster cool fun donut shops that pop up everywhere. How about some Philly cheesesteaks? Oh. Gus, we're getting a little carried away here. I don't know if Cleveland's known for them, but... They probably have a Charlie's.

You like Charlie's, don't you? That place is good. He likes any guy's name, Charlie. Oh, man. I did like Charlie Brown, though. Charlie Brown, he was a... He kind of reminded me of you. He was an OG hustler. He was an OG hustler.

But did he ever fall for that football thing a lot? Holy fuck, he was not very smart. Wasn't he, was Lucy, was Lucy his sister or just someone he wanted to bang? My ex? No, Lucy. Lucy and Charlie Brown. No, Lucy wasn't his sister.

So he was, okay, he was Charlie Brown, okay. They were just friends, but my fuck, did she get him with that football trick a lot. Fuck, he was, okay, he was trying to... They were just friends, but my fuck did she get him with that football track a lot. Fuck, he was stupid. Because he wanted to do some banging. He was kind of like, you know, hitting on her. Yeah. I like Snoopy and Woodstock myself.

Yeah, they're good, man. I like Lionel. I always thought Snoopy was a kiddie. You know, he should have been. Would have been a better character. Well, I think we should go get fucking packed up. Let's go get packed up. Get ready to go to Pink City.

Oh, I didn't even know we were going. All right. We're going across the border, so no drugs, Ricky. Please. I know. Don't do that again. Don't be trying to hide shit. We'll get someone.

Someone will bring you some drugs. No handguns. No guns. Fuck! See you soon, Cleveland. See you soon, Cleveland. We'll be there in a few hours. Fuck's sakes. To watch the video of Perk After Dark, go to SwearNet.com or go to the Trailer Perk Boys

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