Triforce! - Triforce! #259: Triforce: Home for the Lunatics
Episode Date: June 21, 2023Triforce! Episode 259! Have you heard of the great underground war? We almost starts to believe in two future-telling, disaster predicting seers as we become the home to conspiracy lunatics and Flax h...as a run in with a camping advisor! Support your favourite podcast on Patreon: https://bit.ly/2SMnzk6 Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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pickaxe there was a power cut in the office last night oh my goodness and and like like a bunch of things got fried including the setup i used to record so i'm on a bit of a guess did you lose any gear
well the thing is like i went to record here and i was going to be like oh i just used a bunch of it
doesn't look like it's working i'll just use the backup and then i i saw i'll just mention it to
tj and he was like oh yeah the backup's fried and i was like oh my god so
good thing i checked because otherwise you know we would have had the old we've never lost a
recording touchwood of triforce um which is uncommon because doing this for a job you always
lose we've had to have lost at least one right i'm pretty sure we have had one where um we were
recording and this would have been in the earlier days.
I think my audacity had paused or something like that.
Oh, yeah.
We need to purposely lose a recording so then we can have like a really interesting The Lost recording, you know?
Oh, yeah.
20 years time.
Oh, yeah.
You know, like long after the podcast is done and maybe, we're all dead and stuff, they find, like, I was in the record store and I found a long lost recording.
A missing podcast.
This is what Paul McCartney's doing with one of John Lennon's old tapes that he got sent.
It's been all AI, apparently, was used to, like, bring back the recording.
Jesus.
And they're releasing it long after he was dead.
I think there's a song, though, that George Harrison said it was crap.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, it was one of these...
I don't know if these posthumous things much later...
He was pretty salty, though, George Harrison.
I think he thought a lot of stuff was crap, even though it wasn't necessarily crap, you know?
Maybe.
Like me.
Yeah.
Or like us, like this podcast generally.
I think he'd get on well with us.
I think he would too.
George, if you're interested, if you're out there, we've always got a spot for you.
Perhaps the ghost of George Harrison.
He did die a long time ago, it's true.
Join us.
Yeah.
We could get a hologram of him, like all those bands are doing now.
Oh, like Hatsune Miku, get some Japanese.
ABBA are doing it as well. Maybe more commonly known.
Although I suppose it depends on the part of the world that you're in. Maybe
Hatsune Miku is
Trump's ABBA in different parts of the world. I'm sure Trump will need a hologram
soon. So will Biden. We're going to have two ghost
presidents. I mean, they're both
on their last legs, it looks like. Pretty much.
I've got something
to tell you, lads, that happened to me
during the week. Did you guys enjoy,
I just want to say a little callback to
the last week's podcast. Did you
guys enjoy all the research I did on UFOs
throughout the week?
So last week,
just to recap last week,
I asked Sips if he believed in UFOs.
A little bit like how half of the people in America do.
It's actually incredibly common
that people believe in UFOs.
So it's not unusual.
And Sips answered it by saying he didn't care.
But actually later in the podcast,
we found out that he did care
he just didn't want to be seen as a crazy ufo i think that's fair enough you just wanted to keep
your ufology secret yes um which is fine i think it's fun i think a lot of this stuff right it's
fun to believe in it's fun to think that ufos are real it's fun to think that there's some secret
conspiracy i think we love to find interesting alternative history solutions to things that have happened it's
it's why so many books follow a slightly different history you know and and a very popular um there's
a shitload of youtube channels i follow actually well i have history somebody somebody messaged me
because people i think people that listen to the podcast know that I quite enjoy digging into these weirdo conspiracies because I'm immune to being sucked into any of this.
Like I've seen so much of it and I'm a reasonable person.
I like to think and I go by pretty much the science on most of this stuff.
They think they do, too, and they think they are, too.
But even a casual glance
reveals that these people are crackers. And once they see evidence of something, see evidence, you know, in quotes, they see it everywhere. And that to me is always a dead
giveaway that it's not just this one thing, it's linked to everything else. So for example,
someone said to me at Flax, I'm pretty, are you all over this question mark? And they know that
I look for these kinds of things. This is what I had never heard of this is a brand new as far as i can tell conspiracy theory
there's a woman on on twitter called caroline coram she has yeah quite she has she has a lot
of followers on twitter yeah and she claims that there is a vast global underground war taking
place along like underground right and we don't know about it so for example but she does
oh she knows yes oh wow uh if you're wondering how it's possible to have a global underground war
take a look at your nation's fault lines the mining system and the national grid it's all
there so she's claiming that it's all just hidden beneath underground there's a war going on now i
haven't dug deep enough i haven't had time to dig really
deep and figure out who's meant to be at war with whom well you got yeah it's quite it's underground
you gotta dig deep right you really have to dig deep so you have to unearth literally
the secrets i mean this really is an underground it's no fun if it's all spelled out for you
nothing is on the surface it's all bubbling out for you, right? Nothing is on the surface.
It's all bubbling below.
Yes.
I mean, for example, she's claiming that the push to get rid of fatbergs in city sewers
is evidence that the government wants to continue their underground war,
and presumably the fatbergs are getting in the way.
Oh, man.
Those pesky fatbergs.
Fatberg dead ahead.
I'm trying to run the USS Dreadnought into...
There's a fatberg dead ahead, sir!
What are we gonna do?
Deploy the underground nuke system!
Get the nukes!
So, you know, there's this sort of rise, there was recently, there's been the news,
because of the increasing temperature across Europe, a lot of insects that normally just
had to stay in hotter areas like North
Africa and sub-Saharan Africa are migrating outside those areas.
And with them, they're bringing a lot of diseases that we previously weren't exposed to here.
They think it's a plot.
Yeah, and a lot of animals as well, like invasive species.
A lot of invasive species, invasive plants, all this kind of stuff.
Of course, this isn't just because climate change is real.
They found another reason. And of course, that reason just because climate change is real they found another
reason and of course that reason is oh it's fucking bill gates right they think it's bill
gates again a lot of people that are dealing with diseases in africa have mosquito farms right i'm
pretty sure tom scott did a video about the locust farms and stuff like that this is real stuff
because you need to study the insects see how they act and you can work on better ways to repel them
you can't go out and to repel them capture them
from your lounge right you know you've got to go have have a controlled you need a lot of program
exactly you need to know they're all the same mosquito and they've all been in the same
conditions and blah blah all this kind of stuff that's just the way science works so you're not
leaving like a slab of meat out in the garden it's done in a lab scraping insects into a bag
it's actual science so they see these labs that are generating mosquitoes for study, and they think that
what he is doing is injecting them with viruses and then releasing them into Europe.
Oh.
It's laughable.
So it's all stuff like this.
The weird thing is, the real science of climate change is ignored by these people as a lie,
and they'd rather go, than say well yes this clearly
is the case and all the science is there to back it up no no no wake up people it's bill gates he's
spreading viruses because yeah he wants to yeah there is um there is like a bunch of theory
scientific theory around that kind of thing which is how all this stuff gets started it's like scientific ideas
half understood or half listened to kind of thing where if you do you can like chain you can give
mosquitoes a virus that kills other ones and then release them into the world to spread that virus
you know to reduce the population or modify them genetically so they can't they hate blood they
have some like lower breeding success rate or something so that will
reduce their numbers over time like there's there are ideas out there that i don't know if they've
actually ever been done successfully or it does sound like a disaster movie waiting to happen
doesn't it yeah and i think that's why it ends up getting into the conspiracy theory
mindset but but i think these days you can be a conspiracy theorist and pose as a real
journalist on the internet yeah and you know this caroline coram her twitter is you know researcher
and writer uh sky and earth anomalies and emergency news uh you know it's like it kind of it kind of
it draws you in sounds like sounds credible to me charts and graphs and scientific language like but most articles don't end with are you awake yet
have you woken up there they're hiding in plain sight that's not the way you end an actual article
i would suggest that's how you appear to be a lunatic uh the reason this feels quite personal
to me this week in particular is a very old friend of mine has now started posting
this kind of shit on facebook uh and i've had to unfriend them which is a shame because it's just
depressing to see how easily people slip um down into this uh route now here's the i think it's so
easy to get in yeah but this is the problem a quarter of people in the uk believe in a lot of
these conspiracy theories right one quarter but you think about that and
then you think about spiritualism like the amount of people i've met in my life who tell me some
ludicrous nonsense about crystals and i laugh away at them in their face and then they they
like really offended by it and i'm like oh fuck i thought you were joking i'm sorry right i mean
that's happened like many times to me really um yeah Yeah, like several times. Dude, literally a quarter of people in this country believe, for example, that COVID was
a hoax.
One quarter of people polled were willing to say that, which means there might be-
Can you prove that it wasn't?
Yes.
I rest my case.
I mean, we all know people who died of COVID.
What a hoax.
I mean, this is ordinary idiots.
I don't know anybody who did.
Can't point out where China is on a map, let alone dispute another ordinary idiot who has to prove that COVID was real.
This is the problem.
We're not equipped to counter these nutcase.
Ordinary people are not equipped to shut this down.
Like there is this sort of ability where, you know, someone puts out a press release and then after that, it's just sort of generally in the awareness.
And if people ask questions, oh, when's the new transformers movie coming out like someone someone will know
right because they'll like the transformers publishers don't have to reply to every one
of those individual comments someone else will say right right some idiot will say because that's
a low it's like a small enough about information wait is the transformers franchise a part of this
i don't know maybe whatever yeah they're doing an row and you know those robo animals yes um it's that wait wait so mrs
we saw that trailer the other day she said to me she turned to me 100 serious and she said
do you feel like transformers started to go downhill when they brought in those animals that were transformers right but so they brought out these animals as transformers yeah which was like wars came out
like in the 80s though i remember beast wars coming out yeah yeah but i said to her no i
don't think so love i think i think i don't think there were any conspiracies back in the 80s
it was like saying do you think that you know it was like asking a question about politics it was I don't think so, love. I don't think there were any conspiracies back in the 80s either. It doesn't tie in.
It was like saying, do you think that, you know, it was like asking a question about politics.
It was the way she said it.
She's so serious.
She said to me, do you think that Transformers took it to go downhill when they brought in those animals?
Maybe it was a trick question.
Have you made love to your wife since?
Like, since giving the answer?
It was some sort of test.
It was like a test, yeah. Interesting. Because you never know like they're women are they're wily you know like
they're crafty they'll catch you out as well they're coming up with any excuse to do anything
they can to withhold yes they'll do anything they can so that's why i've been sleeping on the sofa
because of my opinions on the animal transformers.
Interesting.
Wait, wait, wait.
Before we move on to something else, we have a really good email.
This plays into the conspiracy thing.
This is from Caden.
This is your friend from the best of the Dakotas, which must mean North Dakota.
North Dakota.
I have something I feel should be addressed.
I was listening to...
Big up to North Dakota out there.
Yeah, shout out.
I was listening to Mailbag Special number 14.
It was good as all episodes are, but it's not the actual podcast that raises concern.
It's the pre-roll ads that have me raising a brow.
I want to know what you, Lewis, and especially Sips have to say about it.
The first ad I got on said episode was one for Wisconsin tourism.
No fucking way.
Was there a mix-up at Spotify
or dare I ask if Big
Wisconsin has gotten to you boys?
Well, let me tell you.
I've had lots of emails
come in about Wisconsin
and as you know
the big wigs,
the big boys out there are always
selling your data between each other and
stuff so all of those wisconsin emails coming through to to flax mostly uh about people saying
that there was a common theme i don't know if you noticed when people would write in they always said
that tourism was a big thing in wisconsin so i think that that the Gmail account picked up on these trends,
these repeat keywords.
I see.
Then they sold the data.
I think you're right.
They sold the data to say, these guys love Wisconsin. And they've identified that not
only is that our email address, but we're also the hosts of this podcast. And they tied the two
together. We're talking multiple millions in fees here for hosts of this podcast and they tied the two together we're talking multiple
millions uh in in fees here for all of this i hate to say this i know it sounds like this is
conspiracy theory you've just made up tips but this is almost exactly what happened oh 100 so
what happens is you put this podcast out the ad agency can scan it get a subtitle track and search
for words that we talk about and then apply adverts that are appropriate to topics that we're addressing in that podcast right and it's done spotify is uh i think it's
spotify it might be someone else's ad network who we use on the podcast but it's it's location
based as well so i guess north dakota is near relatively close closer you could probably drive
there in like 12 hours 17 days i'd say it's probably quite a long bus trip yeah um yeah it's a very long
place but do you i mean like so there's two factors i think one is one is it's it's being
done this kind of next level advertising you know and and the other one is is i think the u.s people
will get different i mean i don't think people in germany are getting adverts for wisconsin
do you know i mean i did notice that um when i went to florida my adverts for Wisconsin. Do you know what I mean? I did notice that when I went to Florida,
my adverts changed on the podcast.
Did they?
So I was downloading the podcast out there, yeah.
Wow.
So that was interesting.
I mean, you remember the other week you mentioned some battle,
and as soon as I started Googling it, I said it out loud,
and then as soon as I started Googling it, it auto-completed.
The battle of, and it was like an obscure one wasn't like
i think that's the battle because you would expect to be and i think again it was a popular search
phrase that week because criminal had done this podcast they're huge and the book had come out
that makes so i think it was so we had shifted the algorithm more than normal okay that makes sense
can i just say we we get so many emails about Wisconsin. I know Sips does.
So many emails.
I do.
That I now have people saying, I promise this isn't about Wisconsin, or the subject will
be not about Wisconsin, hoping that I then read the email because they know it.
No, that's good.
That's a good way to start the email because oftentimes, if that's not anywhere in the
subject line of the email, I just delete without reading. Because I know what's coming.
And if it's not Wisconsin, let's face it, it'll be Pennsylvania or Luton or some other place that I've mentioned in the past.
I mean, there's dozens of people that live in these places.
And they all seem to think that emailing me to complain about it is the way to go.
Take it up with the tourism board is my advice to you.
Your local tourism board.
I want to spiritualism. I did read a book
about premonitions,
right? So in the, there's a book
called, hang on, I have to look it up.
It's called The Premonitions Bureau
by Sam Knight.
Oh, they made a movie
about that, didn't they?
Was that the one with Matt Damon in?
Matt Damon.
Matt Damon. I don't know. a real it's a real story it's not oh okay well no this is different and it's basically
back in 1966 that there was abba the abba fan mining disaster do you remember that well do you
have a fan yeah that was terrible it was like a school in in wales a mudslide came down and engulfed the school in mud. Yes. Killed a ton of kids
It was absolutely terrible. It was terrible. Yeah, they um, they they in the in the Netflix series The Crown
There's an episode. That's where I first heard of it. Yeah that same here
That's where I'd first heard of it as well. In The Crown is it the Queen standing on top of a hill of mud
Stamping on it? No.
Causal outside, is that what they claimed?
No, no, she- they kind of criticized her because it took her a while to actually go out to the site to, you know, visit and lend support and stuff.
It was a couple of days.
She was maybe walking the dogs or- Well, no, she's very much, you know, like she, I think it's all to do with her sort of progression into becoming more personable as a monarch or whatever, you know.
Like at first she had these ideas that she, you know, she had this very specific role and she didn't stray too far from it or whatever.
But then, you know know a couple of these things
happened and she was you know she kind of it's a little bit like what's going on now with um
people well with with a lot of things like modern things like black lives matter or or pro trans
like companies have to say they are because if they're not people assume they're the opposite
right so it's like why are pringles not saying black lives
matter they must be you know they must be racist right so like that's the assumption and i think
that was this is the start of it when the queen does not go into abafang yeah yeah yeah well
welsh lives matter you're mad it is a genuine thing i think there was other stuff to do with
the prince of wales at the time and welsh, you know, do you mean like, like, and I think inequality has always been a big factor.
I think the big issue was, he was also the Prince of Mud.
So it's kind of hard for him to pick sides.
Prince of Wales and Prince of Mud.
That's a tough one.
Yeah.
He couldn't figure out which one.
The Mudmen are going to be furious if he turns up, you know, regardless of the disaster and the, you know, the lives lost.
You can't pick side. He had to
stay apolitical. So he can't back
Wales or big much. It's really, exactly.
It's really tricky. It's like today, you know,
what do Pringles do? You know,
if I'm Pringles, do I
change my logo to a rainbow
Pringle? No, I'll tell you why. Do I get accused of being woke
or do I not? And then people
accusing me. Here's why I don't give a shit.
How do I win as Pringles? Can I tell you why I don't give a shit. How do I win as Pringles?
Can I tell you why I don't give a shit?
Tell me if you agree.
First of all, you're right.
They can't win.
Second of all,
they're a fucking corporation.
Do you honestly think
they're doing any of this
because they believe it?
No.
I think it feels so cynical.
It is entirely cynical.
I guarantee you
that they would pick
whatever view is popular
and stick it on a fucking can of Pringles.
They don't give a shit. But's because like we've had this personalization or anthropomorphization of companies right of like of like we start because it works for brands they like to be your your they like to be your friend they like to be someone that you associate with and you know because it makes them so much more i don't know appealing it's like buying something from a mate not just from a shop you're buying it pringles oh yeah i know i
know mr pringles very well he's a good he makes some real funny tweets yeah he thinks that black
lives matter so i'll buy mr pringles uh crisp he doesn't give a shit they don't none of them give
a shit stop confusing corporate support of anything with meaning so after abafan there was this
psychologist who was interested in these sort
of these sort of psychic disasters almost you know where there was a lot of grief you know 116 kids
died in a not very big town oh it's devastating and so almost everyone you know was it was the
the kind of the only kid school in that town so every you know every every parent with small
children had kind of was bereaved and it was a terrible terrible terrible time it was awful yeah so this
guy john barker sort of the book follows his story of how he turned up here and looked at
looked at what was going on taught some people in town and started actually finding that some people
had foretold it in some ways right people were like oh i shouldn't i knew i shouldn't have sent her to school that morning or oh i saw this this this uh spirit over her bed or you know oh i saw like
in the hills i saw this black figure and it was telling me that the mountains were gonna slip
and and and and he became fascinated with this idea and so what he did was he sort of put a
newspaper thing out and said did anyone predict this know, did anyone foretell this?
And, you know, a couple of 400, 500 people wrote in, most of them cracks, you know, saying,
I predicted it.
I had a bad feeling that morning.
They told their story about how it happened.
Now, of course, two things.
One, you know, there were a lot of these coal tips that were next to the town.
They lived in the specter of these giant coal tips that had slipped
before and done these landslides. They were scary. So it is totally understandable that some people
would have been scared that they would have fallen and that could have led to people saying,
oh, I knew it would happen. But also saying it after it happened has no credence whatsoever in terms of premonitions that, you know, that they can they can be just useless.
Right. So what he did was he he knew that this this was this was if people predicted it afterwards or said, oh, I predicted before, but I have no evidence.
It's no good. So he was like, I want to set up this bureau.
And he worked with this science journalist in london who basically told
people for a year to write in with their predictions anytime they had a bad feeling about
anytime they had a bad feeling or prediction and um they would they would get it get get it get it
going right they do write it down they find out if it happened and there were these two people
one of them was a music teacher called miss middleton and one was um a switchboard operator called alan hencher
and they were they they had some really really uncanny predictions right like alan hencher he
predicted a plane crash that involved 123 people right right only nine days later plane crashed
killing 124 people so he was wrong well that's Well, actually, he was wrong. He didn't get it wrong.
Right.
But maybe he was too preoccupied with the eternal underground war that was happening and reporting back from the front. This is true.
He got some of the stats mixed up.
And so, yeah, Miss Middleton, she was like this sort of odd musician, but she kept writing in and she wrote in about this.
Do you remember when, I don't know if you've seen it on radio or or anything there was when they when the russians had their um vladimir komarov went into space he wasn't the
first man in space right um he was in like a a test flight after um afterwards but he was in this
really shoddily made russian space program and well basically he was like this he it was like
completely disastrous like i think what's
his name um the actual guy yurikagarin said to him you know you're probably gonna die that's
kind of it was like it was like you know and he this is soviet russia he didn't really have a
choice right he went up he was like everything went wrong but like to the point where he didn't
even know which direction he was going but because he was a great pilot he managed to get through it all get the spacecraft back into the atmosphere like it was like this heroic epic
tale that would have hollywood would have been proud and then of course the parachute failed
on the on the way down and so he died anyway and you know he um his sort of you know petrified
remains or whatever were were were shown as this terrible terrible there's this
terrible image of it which it's just like um it's just like a it's like a bit of molten lava or
whatever um poor guy but but you know kathleen middleton the day before yeah um predicted had
a vision about a petrified astronaut oh yeah i'm seeing this this. And she also sent a warning about Robert F. Kennedy three times.
And nobody listened.
On June 4th.
I am, sorry, stop calling me.
I am going to get in that car.
Is that what happened?
Oh, Robert Kennedy.
I said wrong Kennedy.
Sorry, Robert Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Robert Kennedy.
Again, Robert Kennedy being assassinated.
So Robert Kennedy was his cousin? Was he brother? His younger brother, wasn't he, Robert Kennedy? assassinated. So Robert Kennedy was his cousin?
Was he brother?
His younger brother, wasn't he?
Robert Kennedy?
Was he younger brother?
Was that Sirhan Sirhan killed him?
I can't remember, but he was,
it was obviously John F. Kennedy had been assassinated.
Robert F. Kennedy was running for president, I think,
or he was running for a nomination or something.
God, sorry, my history is terrible on this, but it you know again that was she was in a sense there are like
indications that these people can be primed for these things like like it there is news there is
fear there is worry there is there is people talking in the newspapers about these people
doing these things and robert f kennedy was very scared of being assassinated and in fact you know a lot of
the time his his guys were like don't go out don't do this and he was like look I've got to I've got
to be out in the crowds I just have to roll the dice every time I go out um and he was kind of
going against the orders of people and it was kind of known that the assassination was a danger
so it's not again it's not like these predictions necessarily were in a vacuum, right? Yeah. And so anyway, it's like, but it just happened again and again.
And it was almost getting me.
Do you know what I mean?
I was almost like, is there something to these two people?
Because they were consistently able to predict these events.
Yeah, so out of the 18 out of 723 predictions, 12 of them were hits.
And that was just Hensher and Middleton.
So yeah, that's interesting.
So they got 12 correct.
But how many wrong?
How many times were they wrong?
And how wrong were the wrongs?
Are we talking ridiculous?
This is a great, great example.
I mean, I think a lot of it...
Great question.
If, for example,
she had no idea
that there was any astronauts,
like that was even a thing.
If they had never, no idea of astronauts, if you were able to describe something that
you had no previous knowledge of at all, then I think that would be quite impressive.
Yeah.
But if you're constantly in the news reading about space shuttles and rockets and people
going up, maybe she just read a lot of the news.
I mean, you know, there are multiple explanations to this
that definitely don't go down the route of
she was psychic.
I think it's more likely
if I read loads and loads and loads
about politics or whatever,
and occasionally my predictions were right,
you wouldn't think I was a genius.
I just occasionally going to be right
if you read enough about this stuff
and it's going to be,
you're going to dream about it.
I've been fucking dreaming about
Mechabellum all bloody week because I've been playing that. So, you know and it's going to be, you're going to dream about it. I've been fucking dreaming about Mecca Bellamore bloody week.
Cause I've been playing that.
So,
you know,
it's one of those things where you got those,
you get those like weird,
like sweaty dreams where you,
like it's impossible to solve.
You know,
you're like,
I just need to use this,
uh,
composition,
but it's not working and stuff like that.
Like your,
your mind won't let you have it.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Apparently I woke up the
other morning i think it was yesterday and the first thing i said to mrs f was did you find my
dice yet and and this was but i wasn't awake at that point it was just i was just talking before
i'd woken up but i was dreaming about dice and i had lost some dice and i asked her some other
question as well and she was just like yes dear like just trying to humor me until i woke up
um imagine you were like oh you haven't seen it ask my girlfriend if she knows where they are
or something like that you know something that something that one of my wives will know yeah
so sirhan sirhan by the way is still in prison he was the guy who killed rfk in 1969 he was
sentenced to prison life in prison he almost got out on parole, but then the district attorney, sorry, the governor said no.
So, he's still in prison.
Interesting.
I'm trying to think if there's examples of, like, real arseholes that have been, like, assassinated over the years.
I mean, like, I know Mussolini, they publicly hanged.
Yeah, I wouldn't call that an assassination.
But, you know, like, I'm talking about, like, in the, you know, like, the same way that, like, John Lennon was shot or, you know, Kennedy or whatever.
All these people that have been assassinated.
Has there ever been, like, a really unpopular person that's been assassinated?
And then people, a lot of people were like let's look at
let's look at europe alone good point i'm looking uh yeah it does always seem to be people that are
like popular not the bad guys yes uh they're the ones who get shot well certainly i don't know
i mean maybe it's just called a different thing though if someone like you know if someone is
brought down in that way you know know, it's not so much...
Because I know there's definitely some examples of like...
I know there's...
Oh, I'll tell you who was assassinated.
Fucking Osama bin Laden.
There you go.
Sure.
That was a military operation.
There was a guy who was shot dead in an airport
and it was the father of a son that this guy had kidnapped and abused over the course of years and years.
This guy hid a gun in his boot, went to the airport where he knew that they were bringing him through or whatever, because there was like press and stuff there, and then just blew his head off.
Yeah, he shot him point blank.
I think he only got community service.
They were very lenient.
They were super lenient on him, yeah, because he'd had no prior anything.
He had to clean up the airport terminal.
He wasn't deemed a dangerous person or whatever.
He was just acting entirely out of rage and grief or whatever.
I suppose it has to be a single gunman, right?
Or conspiracy.
to be a single gunman, right? Or conspiracy. I think it would need to be a very small number of people that are either employed privately to
do this assassination, that's if it's a group, solo practitioners who are just,
I don't like this guy and what he stands for, I'm going to kill him, which is the classic
assassination. And I don't think that you could really classify the killing of Osama bin Laden as an assassination
because it was sanctioned by the US military to go in there in helicopters and kill this guy.
They'd been looking for him for years.
He knew they were after him.
I always think of assassinations as being like Lincoln,
where someone just walks up and goes, fuck you, bang.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
So Lincoln's assassination was a big conspiracy.
They were originally planning on kidnapping him.
There was a whole bunch of people involved.
Really?
And John Wilkes Booth, the guy who assassinated him,
was originally like, he was the most famous actor of his time.
He was like the Tom Cruise of his time.
I'm not even joking.
He was a son of like an incredibly famous actor
who was the son of a famous actor.
He was like doing these stages to sold out crowds. He was a son of like an incredibly famous actor who was the son of a famous actor. He was like doing these stages to sold out crowds.
He was incredibly famous and he was a very strong Southern advocate.
Wow.
Because the civil war was going on.
He wanted to kidnap Lincoln and he had this plan.
And one day he actually changed the plan to an assassination.
I don't know why he was like,
I think,
and he was obsessed as well.
He wanted to do it in the theater. He't want to do it like they'd made all these elaborate plans to go on and so at the same time of course he so he woke up one morning he said i forget the
kidnap and we're just gonna kill him he told his conspirators one of the other conspirators
was set to kill the secretary of state the other one was set to kill the other guy some other guy
and one guy abandoned it and ran away the other guy
fled fudged the assassination and john wilkes was the only one who actually went through and he was
he didn't have an escape plan either he jumped off the balcony where he'd assassinated lincoln
and broke his leg oh wow that was how we got caught jesus christ he just couldn't well actually he
broke his leg and limped away with a broken leg and then was picked up in a barn actually a little
bit later but he did But he did actually escape.
But it was this whole bungled thing.
Even though it was a conspiracy and they'd been planning it for ages, it was still this shoddily done thing.
And so, yeah, it wasn't just a random nutcase at all.
It was this hugely thought out process.
And it was a real conspiracy.
It was an actual conspiracy.
The other co-conspirators were all hanged afterwards, I think, as well.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah, when they got them all.
It was this big deal at the time, Lincoln.
So, sorry, that's a bad example of a conspiracy.
No, that's a great one.
What did he shout?
Without looking it up, what did Booth shout when he was on the stage?
He shouted something in Latin, but apparently the audience because it
was all the everyone was screaming and yelling apparently it's even disputed that he shouted it
so yeah i can believe it apparently he shouted six semper tyrannis which means uh thus always
to tyrants thus always to tyrants so in other words like that's what you get for being a tyrant
which is incredibly ironic that you're looking to free people and he's like
fucking tyrant you're freeing slaves well i'll stop you pretty hilarious but of course when they
when they found him in the barn um they just shot him to death immediately oh wow so they didn't
take him prisoner or question him so we don't know what he actually said or had intended to say or
his motivations on that last day very lee harvey oswald dare i say yeah so um
so that that's i guess that's again where conspiracies spring from is that that's not a
satisfying end right you want to hear more deeper ideas right um if it was just a lone lunatic maybe
the conspiracy theory would have blossomed that i just told you but actually that conspiracy was
real um and like all conspiracies
it was pretty quickly discovered to be a conspiracy and everybody knew who was involved and one guy
turns and then the whole thing falls apart that's most conspiracies i think there's not really many
successful conspiracies that nobody has ever learned about and especially not these vast
underground wars that apparently thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of people are involved in.
Um,
but you know,
underground doesn't leave.
This is brilliant by the way.
I love it.
So it's so dumb.
It's like the only fucking like,
uh,
it's like New York city,
the sewers,
right?
You see in movies,
like in Gotham,
you see people going into the fucking sewers all the time and living down
there and building all these shit.
New York a lot. Actually, There's a whole underground population.
They ain't fighting a war unless it's the war
against fucking starving people. I know.
And I can understand in somewhere like New York
with abandoned subway stations and stuff
having this, you know, actual...
But it's ludicrous to suggest that
there's some sort of network of these
tunnels, like, you know,
and people are, the Mole Men
are battling secretly.
Do you know what I mean?
It's hilarious.
Is that where you get sinkholes from?
No, I don't know. I mean, they're literally,
once you come up with something... Oh, don't tell them about
sinkholes, because they'll add that to the theory.
I think, like with any of these things, if you come
up with a nebulous enough theory,
which is the conspiracy theory that there's an underground war,
you can tie anything to that.
Anything that you want.
You can say, see, and just hold it up.
And people who are clueless and don't really think about these things for themselves,
read that and go, huh, knew it.
Do you think it was an earthquake?
It was actually an underground bomb.
And all you have to do is say, wake up.
Come on.
They're pulling the wool over your eyes.
Don't fall for it.
Don't be like those sheep out there.
Be different like us.
And you're now part of a community of nutters who think they're geniuses.
Join us.
And people, a quarter of people in this country, apparently, happy to jump on that train.
Fucking idiots.
I mean, don't, I don't mean to be offensive or anything, but like my, I find British people
can be quite eccentric.
I find Americans can as well.
And, I mean, equally, the Canadians.
I've known some eccentric Canadians as well.
You are not fucking wrong.
No, we're very eccentric.
I'm not surprised that a quarter of people would believe this stuff.
There's a guy who walks around in Bristol walking his ferret on a little lead.
Yeah.
It's cute, but weird and eccentric.
Can I just also say, and I hope any German listeners will attest to this as well,
Germans are pretty eccentric too.
I think it's when we were, for example, when I was in Berlin,
I saw a lot of very odd people.
It's quite an artsy kind of place.
It sort of attracts those people.
It's like a very, very big Bristol in that it's kind of like,
I mean, well, it's quite different from Bristol, really,
but it's like the attitude there is quite artsy and going outy and, you know, people sort of be themselves sort of
thing.
There was a guy in the park walking backwards towards us and he was quite a way away.
It's a very long path in the middle of this park.
I think it's the Tiergarten.
And he's walking towards us and we thought he had a hood up.
And as he's getting closer, we realize he's walking backwards and he's walking backwards
very well, walking backwards at the same speed you would walk forwards, swinging his arms like normal we realize he's walking backwards. And he's walking backwards very well. Walking backwards at the same speed you would walk forwards.
Swinging his arms like normal, but he's walking backwards.
And we thought, Jesus Christ, this is freaky.
When he gets past us, we'll look back at him.
It'll be the back of him.
Like he had a man with no front.
But instead, he's just walking backwards.
I knew a person who jogged backwards.
He was obsessed with it.
He was a Dutch guy.
Right.
And he would always jog backwards.
Like, that was his, like, he was obsessed with it being, like, really good for you or something.
You know, like, it worked out muscles that you didn't normally use or something.
Do you know what I mean?
He was just a normal middle-aged guy who got it in his head that this was the thing to do.
And, yeah, I think some people are just eccentric.
And, again, we embrace eccentricness.
I mean, I don't-
I honestly don't mind it.
I don't mind what you believe in.
I don't mind what you spend your time doing.
As long as it's not hurting somebody else.
And as long as you're happy and having a fun time.
I mean, more power to you.
Carry on.
But the minute you start being
aggressive or or mean to other people or hurting other people or or whatever that's when i i don't
agree with you but you know you can believe in whatever you want and do what you like i think
the problem is with this stuff is that it's all on a spectrum right of of misinformation and
sometimes that misinformation is harmless when one person's holding on a spectrum right of of misinformation and sometimes that misinformation
is harmless when one person's holding on to it but when someone else is holding on to it
they are radical the people they need they they think that other people need to hear it they've
got a personality type which oftentimes i think is and i've said this a lot a lot of these guys
in the street who yell religious dogma at you they they they they're
trying to protect you from going to hell they they're like they're they're on your side they're
like i want to save these people you know i'm a good guy that's and that's when you look at it
from that angle you're like it's like totally justified but when people start you know taking
that to the next some people you know you might say that's harmless but that's exactly the same
thing that's happening with people who are doing a say that's harmless but that's exactly the same thing
that's happening with people who are doing a more extreme thing to bring that to save people right
it's like i'm going to bomb this thing to save people i'm going to do this thing you know in
the name of something which doesn't exist you know it's harmless when it's not hurting anyone but
in the wrong hands even like the most innocuous thing i'm not saying the underground moment but
people are going to start terrorising the planet.
But do you know what I mean?
There are some things that are genuinely harmless,
but there are also things that are not.
Even veganism, like misfeeding your baby or animals
because you believe in this diet, or not vaccinating your kids.
These types of things, clearly it comes from sometimes
a place of crazy protection um and love but it's but it's actually uh damaging this is just always
always going to be a thing and i don't think we i think we always got to carry it with us as humans
we're always going to carry these i think as we've talked about this a lot we're easily led and we
want to think that we understand something that other people don't for some reason that appeals to people and we're also very stuck in our ways i'm sure this caroline
cannot get out of this now right because she's made she's made a living and she cannot go back
and say oh guys i was wrong because she would get she'd rather have all the yes people yesing her
than everyone maybe maybe at first she like you know she was just joking around a bit didn't
really believe it but the more people that started validating her she thought oh this is good actually
wow i don't want to give her that much credit i'm just gonna ride this out if someone if she did
come forward and be like hey guys look i got something bogus sorry look that i would give
her credit for that though i think more people need to to do that um not
necessarily even publicly just if she if she just went dark um i think again it's it's what she's
she's got all of these this is paying her rent probably you know the the book and the youtube
channel and the whatever and the interviews on the bbc or whatever and the people pointing and
laughing at her is paying her to live so how is that different to
any other demeaning job where you put up with it exactly it's probably better to just be a fake
fucking conspiracy nut on youtube than work in a call center we could turn the triforce into
uh the new home for conspiracy lunatics get them on as guests they can talk and we'll just nod and go
wow that's amazing uh and just sort of uh you know just just dive in we'll get a cut of that book
yeah we get a cut it'll be like it'll be like a it'll be like a honey trap we'll have them on and
we'll be like yeah yeah very very interesting okay well um thanks for coming on the show and
then as they walk outside like the police are just waiting oh my god I was watching a documentary
the other day on YouTube about
this was in Oakland there's a sting
operation that they do where
they post a Craigslist ad
that's basically saying I am a
very young girl looking for a good time
I'm at this hotel call me
and these guys call up the police officer
an adult female
police officer
answers the phone
she has quite a high voice
so she sounds young
they arrange to meet her
and the coppers
are just waiting
at the hotel
yes
and the guy comes
in the front door
they grab him
they cuff him
they stick him on a bed
in one of the rooms
of the hotel
and they had like
12 guys within an hour
literally 12 guys
and they're all just
sitting on this bed handcuffed
fishing yeah literally fishing yeah and i mean i i i've never understood the argument
uh that it oh this is entrapment the thing is if i'm trying to commit an illegal act and you catch
me by pretending that i'm going to aid and abet you in committing that illegal act, and
you voluntarily turn up to do that, I don't think that's entrapment. I think it's just
a good way to catch these fucking nonces who are walking around trying to find underage
girls to have sex with. How is that so bad? I don't get it. Like, if I come up to you
and say, hey, you want to buy some cocaine? And you say, uh, no thanks. If you go, yeah,
mate, give me all the cocaine you've got. Here's all my money. And then you slap the
cuffs on them. Is that entrapment?
Is that so bad?
I don't really understand.
I don't understand.
Someone explain the legal ramifications.
Yeah, I mean, that's how they get the drug people, isn't it?
It's what they try to buy drugs from a police officer, usually.
Yeah, exactly.
It's a sting.
I think most of the people that cry entrapment are people who don't want to get caught the same way.
Because they're like, I was planning on doing this. And I've seen it go wrong for these guys. And I don't want to get caught the same way. Because they're like, I was planning on doing this
and I've seen it go wrong for these guys
and I don't want the same experience.
Well, you can't say that.
You can't say that all defence lawyers are actually secretly murderers.
Well, I can.
I can say whatever I like.
Don't email me.
Cease and desist letter to Chris Lovers.
Actually, I think you'll find...
No, but it's no but um it's
again it's different states probably have different laws
as well and that kind of thing
is the is the balls
that have been developed on these people
to read a random
ad and actually
turn up right I mean that's
clearly not that is
that cannot be first time
turn up to meetings with people i do i like
random people that's it to me it is it is insane and that i i feel like doing that they're catching
the right people because these are people who are like on the verge of doing something really
really bad right right like they are they're ready they're they're ready to take the next step into like this
fucking their career in this world that they live in yes their career is a burgeoning uh burgeoning
career they're just just getting started so let's nip it in the bud i'm on board with it and i just
thought it was really interesting to see all these guys handcuffed on this bed none of them allowed
to talk to each other just thinking i've fucked up what the hell would you say to the other person like oh did you uh first time yeah good advert though really convincing um suckered me
right when's the girl turning up oh no fucking hell jesus christ they are that clueless though
that's the thing it's funny uh it's not funny at all. I can't imagine having a job, like, working on that sort of stuff.
I think it would be satisfying to catch them.
Absolutely traumatise you, though.
Like, you would never...
It would change you.
You would never, like, view the world the same way again, right?
Yeah.
No, I think you're right, yeah.
I mean, I know a lot of people that have to work in the police
and look at, like, images to ensure what grade of illegal is this oh my god they have
to look at like hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of them because they have to rank them like this
is class one this is class two and also a lot of these people there's a subreddit well we won't i
guess reddit is a controversial topic right now so i'll mention it anyway um there's a subreddit
that it was about have do you know where this comes from and it shows clippings from photos abuse photos of like a weird shirt that someone's wearing where where
is this have you ever seen this shirt or an object what do you think this is what is this
and it's asking for people to know like what is this football team because that'll give us some
idea it's a weird obscure one that'll let us narrow down either who this person is or where
this town is so that's so fucking creepy
Right
Well no it's the police asking for help where they don't know
So it'll be like
It'll be like the police have got some weird book
And they'll be like does anyone know where this book came from
And so it's kind of like crowdsourcing help
Which I think is the way to do it honestly
Like to all these amateur sleuths
Reddit has the answer
Like there's loads of do you know what this thing is
What's this thing in my food And everyone's like oh that's korean radish or whatever you're like
oh cool now i know what it is i can go and buy it in the chinese supermarket you know yeah i don't
know what 90 i've this is chinese supermarket near where i live and i go there occasionally
and i wish i knew what more of the shit was in there because everything i've tried has been nice
but i don't know if i'm cooking it right or using it right yeah you know i need you're just
freestyling with it you just think this looks like it goes in the frying pan i have been i know this
is a bit of a shift but i've i've i've this is a bit of a shift from where we just were but i um
i signed up to uh online dating again oh what are you doing i know well i've been single for a year
now and i signed up last night partly because someone else in the office has recently done so Oh, what are you doing? Why do you do this to yourself? I've been single for a year now.
Oh, man. And I signed up last night.
Partly because someone else in the office has recently done so
and recommended that I have a look.
And I was swiping on some people last night.
And I feel like Bristol people are...
Okay, like 10% of people have...
You know that makeup where it makes their nose look thinner
and they look like a beautician at the House of Fraseraser beautician counter right 10 of people are that okay i'm
not i don't want to put your word for it right like 10 of people on there and i'm looking at
like um people in my age group right so you know 35 ish right is it's a few years younger than me
but but you know that that age right 35 to 39 is is my age group right and and so it's like but 10 of people have um well i'd say okay 10%
of people have that beauty thing 10% of people are some sort of festival hippie okay they still
love going to festivals in their mid-30s they're into you live in bristol so yeah yeah they're into
like that and they they they haven't always got blue hair,
but they've normally got some sparkly shit on their face.
Or they're in a field at a festival
or being held up on someone's shoulders with a beer.
Do you know what I mean?
Right.
Like that's 10%.
And then there's like, I'd say a good 30 or 40% actually.
So like a majority have either children or children children surrogates right like a big dog
or like three cats right do you mean all and or something like that and i mean dogs i'm okay with
um i don't i'm not ready to i'm allergic to cats so problem i mean no no look i i get it it's very
hard if you're a single parent to find someone who's willing to be in a relationship
with kids especially when you're a little bit older because most people have baggage like right
the reason i'm talking about this we're going to describe so i'm just saying that it's it's fun but
there's the reason i'm talking about it's because i see a lot of professional women right who are
you know in their mid-30s and they've got proper jobs a lot of doctors a lot of lawyers right right right a lot of people a lot of nhs like um either like an intensive care surgeon or like a um or like a
paramedic and i was i and i was like i was like they they don't necessarily look traumatized
but sometimes they have their quite serious look on them doctors right yeah um because again it's
a little bit like when you're at school
and you sort of forget their teacher's a real person, right?
Because they have to be strict.
Yeah, like when you see teachers outside of school the first time,
it's exciting.
Like, oh, my God, that's Mr. Johnson.
He's just shopping like anybody else.
It's funny to think, though, that all these people,
all these teachers that I had in school at the time,
I was like, God, what a fucking idiot. These people so stupid or whatever i'm the same age as them now like
it's weird to think isn't it it's it's weird because i'm 40 this year right and so i'm like
thinking one i don't these these beauty people who are like you know clearly they're not looking
for someone like me right the second thing is like people who have dogs or kids
like am i okay with that i have to ask these my you know i i'm not just not sure i've not had to
confront this you know i've been in a relationship for the last eight years do an experiment for us
you can be the guinea pig here's what i want you to do i want you to try and go out with one person
from each group you have to go on a date oh my god because at the moment you're deciding ahead
of meeting someone you're grouping them and you're saying this person's like this and this person's
like that i'm just saying just go and do an experiment and pick one of these people from
each of the groups that you've identified this is gonna be your project and just go on a date
doesn't have to be anything else just a date and go and see what they're like and chat to them and
let us know and let yourself know what am i I looking for? And go and meet a doctor, for example.
This is it.
Just see what it's like going out with a doctor. Because I think what's happened is when I was last single,
which was when I was about 31, 32,
the people I was dating were usually at the age where they were either
thinking about having kids soon, like when they were 30, you know,
or 30 post 30.
And they weren't also necessarily as settled and professional. either thinking about having kids in a soon like when they were 30 you know 30 post 30 and they
weren't also necessarily as settled and professional and now the women are like they own their own
house and they have their own bakery and it's like do you mean all like and so it's like a whole
different crowd and i'm almost they all sound like um uh contestants for the apprentice
i think that is it.
That's what I'm dealing with.
Maybe you could give them an Apprentice-style series of challenges.
Maybe you could lay on a nice deal for them.
That's the big problem.
I am like a man-child, right?
I am a scrawny, nerdy, five-foot-eight idiot.
Video game player.
Video game player player professional nerd so it's like
i did i guess like i have i don't have an inferiority complex i guess but i have like
this i don't think you should listen i'm just saying don't don't overthink it go out on a
couple of dates and see how it goes well it's just the front of my mind because i've i understand
but don't don't overthink it just relax go on some dates and see how see how it goes you're already overthinking here and be a bit more chill i
mean i'm not i'm not being funny i've been married a very long time it'd be very exciting to go out
on a date i'm not saying i want it to happen i'm very happy but if i had to i'd be like wow this is
this is a new experience it's something man i'm like you haven't done this in a while i'd also
i'm not sure i could be bothered with it but i would never go on a date like if things like
didn't work out i i would just stay on my own forever.
Well, this is what I've done for the last year or six.
I would do that too.
I thought it would be fun to try and see what happens.
I'm very happy where I am.
Don't get me wrong, I'm fine.
Well, let us know how it goes.
I wish I think it's a good time to start doing this stuff
when I'm not feeling like...
Yeah, yeah. But I guess I'm not feeling like... Yeah, yeah.
But I guess I'm in the right headspace for it.
But yeah, so I guess the reason I said this is because I started second-guessing myself.
I was like, do I want to date a headmaster?
Is that weird?
Yeah, give it a go.
They might be fantastic.
And also, you know, there's a lot of roleplay potential.
Right, I see.
Yeah.
Right, so I've got something.
I want to know if this annoys you guys as much as it
annoyed me this is this really this has been grinding my gears all week okay right so last
weekend my eldest attempted to do duke of edinburgh wow and she's been doing it for a
couple months you have to build up all these activities and one of the things you have to do
is like a camping hiking trip over a weekend yeah and they have like the practice run and then a
really big practice run and then a really big practice
run and then like the big actual camping trip where you go out right so yeah you're kind of
on your own in not the middle of nowhere but some outstanding area of natural beauty where there's
a lot of farms and stuff but you're generally not allowed you weren't allowed your phone when i did
it exactly right thing where you had to navigate on a map through this place and then camp fucking somewhere.
Yeah, it's hard work.
So this was the practice run when they have like people along with you, like guiding you
and all the rest of it, teaching you how to read the maps and all the rest of it.
And I thought, this is good.
This is good stuff.
So she's not really, she's like me.
She plays a lot of video games.
She's not someone who's like constantly out there playing sports and stuff like that.
I mean, she's not like not in good shape she's does well in pe she's she's she's perfectly capable yeah she's
she's like a i guess she's like 14 a standard teenager who hasn't had a chance to basically
uh have their lifestyle catch up with them yet right right exactly because that happens in your
20s right of course you carry on doing everything but you suddenly get like um you just balloon exactly so she's not there um and she uh she attempted the camping thing i dropped her off
she had a backpack that she had to carry this backpack had everything for the weekend
food changes of clothes bottles of water sleeping bag big sleeping bag bedroll and the backpack
itself is one of those big bergen style backpacks with like straps to like this thing is heavy yeah this thing is way too much yeah and she's did you teach her how to pack
it so that nothing inside would get wet and then uh to test it out did you chuck it in the water
and tell her to jump in to get it but it was it was heavy it weighed so much that when my youngest
put it on she was like her knees were buckling it was heavy if i'd have to carry this all day i'm thinking christ we get to the campsite and the
lady that organizes it is there and it's very hot that weekend everybody will remember on the sunday
was this last weekend yeah yeah it was a heat wave heat wave here in the exactly it was fucking
boiling and it was boiling and everyone in another country says, it's hot like this all the time.
We don't have air con in our houses as standard
because it's not hot.
Also, we grew up in a country that isn't hot.
And we're used to it being cold all the time.
So every time it gets hot,
every British person takes their top off
and loses their mind.
And here's the other thing.
We're not socially set up to deal with heat.
If you go to hot countries that are hot all the time,
when it's the middle of the day
and the sun has been down and it's fucking boiling,
people aren't outside running about.
They're inside in the shade, chilling out,
drinking water and not doing anything.
It just grinds my gears.
Anyway, that grinds my gears.
Carry on.
So I drop her off and I say to the lady,
these bags are really heavy.
Are they going to drop some stuff off at the campsite?
She goes, oh no, they'll be walking around with them all day yeah i was like really i said they're really heavy
she said to me you should have packed less stuff yeah yeah yeah that's what i would have said to
you right so i said to her you gave us a list and i packed everything on the list because that's what
we were told to do she just laughed and walked away right okay now so you had the right answer
now i would have said i was furious i would have said to you show me that list um but i had the right answer. Now, I would have said... I was furious. I would have said to you, show me that list.
No, I had the list.
I had the list.
They printed out and gave us this list.
What is this list?
Can I see it?
It was a very long list.
Just because I want to know if there's anything that you could get cut off it.
I can tell you what was on there, okay?
The backpack, for example.
A waterproof liner for the backpack.
Right.
So everything in there was...
Everything in there is waterproof.
And did you do the test, though?
Sure, that doesn't weigh very much.
That doesn't weigh very much.
You have to have a plate.
A plate and a cup.
A knife and fork.
What kind of plate, cup, knife and fork?
Just a camping set.
Just like a lightweight camping set.
Okay, right, cool.
You didn't bring like a ceramic one
from the cupboard.
Four meals.
Four meals?
Four meals.
Are they like the baggy ones
from a camping shop?
They were like dehydrated ones
that you just add water.
Okay, yeah, you know what you're doing with those.
Sure, next.
Exactly, MRE stuff.
Two big bottles of water.
Okay, that's heavy.
She then needs to have a raincoat, waterproof trousers.
Don't know if you need those things.
Change of shoes.
Don't know if you need that.
Needed to have a change of clothes.
Needed to have a fleece.
Okay, not on this day.
An air pillow. Right right but the thing is i
said to her when we packed we didn't know what the weather was going to be like and you don't know
what it's going to be like overnight you don't pack for the way things are you pack for the way
things could be that's the whole point yes you don't say well it's not going to rain that's why
i brought with me my blacksmith's anvil just in in case. Exactly, just in case.
But I was just like, what the fuck are you saying to me?
You should have packed less stuff.
All these kids packed everything you put on the list because that's what we were told to do.
And now you're laughing about the fact the bags are fucking heavy.
I would have started dumping stuff out of that bag immediately
knowing that it was that hot on the day.
On Sunday, I go to pick her up and she's failed.
She couldn't do it.
It's a six hour hike on the hottest day of the year so
far and she was like i just couldn't do it dad it was too much i was like don't even worry about it
love and i i picked her up and we got the fuck out of there even those bags honestly weigh a ton
just empty those shitty old fucking bags they're so crap they are really heavy but i just couldn't
believe the attitude was sort of like laughing at how miserable this is going to be.
I was really, really fucking pissed off.
And I said to her, love, you don't need to do that shit ever again.
Don't worry about it.
That's not on you.
That's on them.
This was awful.
They didn't prepare you for this at all.
They told you to bring all this stuff and then they're laughing about how heavy it is.
It was fucking ridiculous.
Really, really pissed me off.
I think that's probably a standard list of stuff.
Because I remember doing Duke of Edinburgh in the fucking middle of winter.
I mean,
not on the hottest day of the year.
I don't think I ever did anything on the hottest day of the year.
Like we always did it in the most miserable conditions where we were all
fucking sodden,
you know,
trying to get,
figure out who the,
you know,
you've got your map in one of those fucking plastic bags.
Right.
Tell her to do a portage instead.
It's more fun and you probably get more out of it. And you just do it on your own. You don't need to do a portage instead it's more fun and uh you probably get more out of
it and um you just do it on your own you don't need to do it like with you know there's nobody
on that island that you uh that you can do too it's just you i don't know if it's safe for her
to do a portage uh at this at her arch no she's a little young no well yeah maybe if you went with
her i think i think in a weird way like wearing all the clothes and not
having to carry them all makes it a bit easier right yeah maybe you're wearing the whole like
fleece and jacket and all that shit and trudging along the backpack isn't carrying all that whereas
on a sweaty day when your back is like instantly sweaty yeah like within 30 seconds of picking the
fucking water you're gonna go through as well it's just it was crazy i was i was really fucking
pissed off it really really upset me well you're entrusting your child to another adult why are they doing it
heavy lol so was that bronze do you think bronze failed i don't know yeah i think it was
because it was like it gets harder in the next couple of years i don't doubt it i don't doubt
it we did like we did like brecken beacons and stuff right that's where it would have ended up
but honestly i had to drive her all over the place because it was i was when she failed i was secretly very pleased because
i was like love this was such a pain it's like i get it it's like beautiful scenery at this time
of year but when we were doing it like you could see like two meters in front of your space jeremy
i'm not admiring the scenery while i'm slogging this thing across a dank thing like with
my feet all wet like
oh I've got a website for you guys this is good for this time of year all right I'll give you the
url hold on and this is this is for everybody actually called lightningmaps.org you can zoom
in on your area this live real-time lightning strikes will appear on the map as like orange
dots and then it shows an expanding circle of the sound
wave of the lightning so when when's the thunder going to get to you and you can look it's accurate
to within like half a second oh my god it's thundering i want to know in right i want to
know how it's does it how does it do it if anybody knows how is it able to detect i mean it's a huge
thunderstorm near just northeast of Warsaw as well.
And southern Italy, very big, around Messina and in the islands there.
Look at that.
You can just see the strikes all the time.
Look at all those lightning strikes.
I know.
It's crazy.
Is it a network of satellites over Europe?
How is it doing?
I mean, this is over North America.
I'm looking.
There's a huge one off the coast of Florida. But look how many are on the water.
There's a lot of them on the water.
Yeah.
It's all out to sea.
It can't be reported.
But then around Birmingham
and Atlanta and Baton Rouge
and Mississippi,
Meridian,
a town called Meridian, there's a town called Yazoo
City. Huge lightning storm.
So I want to know, is this a global network
of satellites that are constantly looking out
for lightning and detecting it? And then the software
can understand, obviously can predict what the sound wave is going to
be. Let me know.
There must be like weather APIs that you can just pull all this data from.
Yeah, but where's it coming from before that?
You'd expect there to be some delay and not that level of accuracy.
Dude, it's so fast.
It's so accurate.
There's like a three second delay apparently on it.
Because we had a lightning storm here the other day.
It really rained into Twickenham.
It rained so badly that it pulled down our front wall with the wind.
Holy crap.
The wind, it was like, the wall is like a brick wall.
That's such a British thing.
I know.
My bin was moved about four feet.
We had one of those signs to advertise, like, there's a summer fair.
Like, everyone in our area's got this thing up for the school.
And the wind pulled the wall down using the sign as like a sail.
This was not that old a wall.
It's been fine, but they pulled a bit of it down.
So, yeah, it was a serious storm.
The rain was just like, couldn't see across the street.
And it was lightning.
So I looked it up on the map and there it is.
You can see it.
It was really something.
Jesus.
It's really cool.
Anyway. It's really cool. Anyway,
that's really cool.
That's so cool.
Lightning maps.org.
If,
if when it's next time it's lightning in,
check it out and go for it.
It's exciting.
Yeah.
I'm fascinated.
Well,
what a podcast we talked about transformers.
We talked about premonitions.
What a podcast.
We covered a lot of stuff in this podcast.
Yes.
Um,
and this whole time period has been named named number one Kim Wexler fan.
Yes.
On our recording discord.
So I can't get out of my head,
flipping,
breaking.
Are you a big Wexler head?
Dude,
I just died watching Better Call Saul last week.
Oh,
that's right.
You told us.
See,
she's a professional woman about my age.
I think I'd be very daunted by going on a date with Kim Wexler.
Because she's,
yeah,
I mean, she's like a fully formed. She's a great uh great character isn't she she's fantastic i think
every character on that show has just been phenomenal i've really loved it i'm on i'm
halfway through series four i'm caning it oh my god you've gone so fast yeah it is a very good
show you're right dude i'm watching like five six episodes a day i'm just booting through it i love
it i love it it's a good time to watch it when it's all been aired because you can just binge the shit out of it.
Yeah, yeah. That's what I- I also, like I was saying, I was- I just finished Breaking Bad,
so I was like, I don't want more. I don't want more. But now, Breaking Bad, I haven't watched
in years, so I'm ready for a return to the desert, you know, to New Mexico. I want to see where this
all- Well, you got the movie as well,. You've got El Camino that you can watch.
I'll watch that when I finish.
It's the aftermath
of Breaking Bad. It follows
Jesse around for a bit.
Less interested in Jesse.
I've got to say, Jesse was never my favorite character.
I think it follows him
in the aftermath, and then there's some
retrospective stuff.
Saul Goodman is
just his character Kim Wetz is such a good character in fact every character on that show
you completely understand this is something Mrs F said I realized we were meant to be ending the
podcast she said the other day that when you watch a show and the characters are consistent and
excellent when they do something out of character it's so jarring that you almost lose interest in
the show oh my god yeah and i immediately thought
of game of thrones and the characters and that who suddenly stopped being the character that we
had known for season after season and were just idiots and did stupid things that were not in
character if sol goodman or kim wexler started doing stuff that was like out of character you
you'd notice so quickly and that's how you know they're good characters. I've noticed this a lot. Like in Star Trek as well,
where people are supposed to be this better than now thing,
but they just do the dumbest things sometimes.
And you're like, come on.
And I know that you have to be dumb to get the plot forward sometimes,
but it's such a bad way of doing it.
I noticed, I've just been reading,
I was reading Wheel of Time and Robert Jordan very sadly died in 2005
when he was on book, I think 11 was his last one.
I read that and then I started reading the Brandon Sanderson book
and instantly Brandon Sanderson,
obviously having read them all as a big fan,
he did such a great job of like taking over Robert Jordan's style,
but also sewing up all of these plot points
that like Brandon Sanderson spends a whole book
like fixing dead plot
lines that brand it was kind of like spinal surgery right like robert jordan had just left
this person like open with their spine and just a million bits of nonsense string strings going
everywhere and brandon suns just gets a needle and he's like fix this thing fix this thing and
everyone starts behaving rationally and you're like right oh my god it's just so satisfying all of a sudden to have people actually
talk to other people like this is how i don't know anyway i'm a big i'm a big fan of the wheel
of time generally and um and i forgot how much i liked the changeover to to brandon sardison who
is a brilliant author um all right we're gonna end the podcast okay okay we'll see you guys next
week love you
everyone goodbye