Triforce! - Triforce! #59: Poopin' on Minnie

Episode Date: December 6, 2017

Triforce! Episode 59! Miserable presenters, Spiderman pooping on Minnie Mouse, XCOM Mods and the Jingle Jam!   Music courtesy of Epidemic Sound. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoic...es.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:17 Shelby does a podcast! That's not how you said you were going to start. You said you were going to start with a little toot on your horn, period. No, I just said, how does this sound? I just wanted to know how this sounds. I have a couple of toilet rolls here, and I'm tooting through the middle of them. It sounded better than that when you did it before. Also, why do you have a couple of toilet rolls?
Starting point is 00:01:41 Actually, I think I can think of a reason. No. When it comes to my seed seed where it lands is where it lands i i give no i give no care oh my gosh you're just so wildly you're wild oats what is a man meant to do seed cannot be contained there are many small bald little boys running around today yeah who knows across? Across the country and across, I guess, your living room and bedroom floor. The thing is, when I ejaculate,
Starting point is 00:02:10 it's like when you blow one of those dandelion clocks. You know? Every sperm has a tiny parachute and it floats off out the window. Oh my God, it's like a Disney film. Like the wind, they all fly out the window.
Starting point is 00:02:19 They've all got little faces, little bald heads. And they just like fly across the land, the wintry landscape. just like with happy smiles on their faces going into people's windows where there's a lady maybe enjoying herself too and he flies down with a little determined look on his face man this got suddenly elaborate somehow i don't like is this something that you think about like fairly often i think of little... Sometimes Disney films happen in my head.
Starting point is 00:02:46 Nice. Just think, it could be a story about a little parachute, a little adventurer, a little soldier, a little explorer of period flags, right? Who's gone into a strange jungle. A vagina. I'm thinking of a microscopic world. Just a weird jungle.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I mean, instead of big tall trees, it's pubes that are really big and tall, and he's having to machete his way through them. I mean, I'm subjected to a lot of children's television programming, right? I like the word subjected. Yeah, that's a good choice for you. But I always like to think that it's all very wholesome. All of the presenters are super happy-go-lucky,
Starting point is 00:03:32 and they're always smiling and wide-eyed. But at the same time, they always have this darkness behind their eyes, as if doing children's entertainment has sucked their soul out. I like to think that, yeah. I like to imagine that, like, you know, they're at the studio and they're filming, like, their latest thing and they're all wide-eyed and smiley and stuff like that. And then literally, like, it does a jump cut to them in the evening
Starting point is 00:03:58 and they're just, like, sitting around in their underpants, like, drinking a gallon of vodka and crying all night and stuff. Like, i get some satisfaction from knowing that that next morning in the dressing room they're like staring at themselves having having just like really depressing sex with a prostitute and like not enjoying it and stuff they like finish and then they go up their mirror they snort like a line of cocaine they've got like a towel next to their bed for when they're done with like prostitute and stuff. And like, oh, man. And then they slap themselves in the face a couple of times and they walk out onto the stage.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Hello, children. Happy time. They stare at themselves in the mirror for a couple of hours holding like a revolver to their head, but they never go through with it and stuff. Like, oh, God. A makeup lady pats like you know some like red cheeks makeup onto their sunken eyes yeah I think that's how it goes I mean correct me if I'm wrong
Starting point is 00:04:52 if you're listening out there and you're a children's presenter let me know what your life is like outside of the studio because I'm interested to know because all I got is basically that that's how I view them all that's what I think. Regardless of gender as well, I think that's what they go home and do.
Starting point is 00:05:09 YouTube is the stuff too. They're just into some really devious shit. Like teachers. Remember there was a show on TV about teachers and they were always like drunk and stuff like that? I imagine that teachers are the same pretty much. You trust them to take care of your kids during the day and they do a reasonable job of it and stuff. Like you trust them to take care of your kids during the day and they do like a reasonable job of it and stuff. But at night, like I bet you they just fucking hate themselves and they're just like mashing like their balls with a potato masher all night.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Just like just generally hating themselves and stuff. I think it's like nurses and doctors are meant to work hard, play hard, right? It's like if you have to do something looking after other people, I think it's ironic that if you do that, when you've got free time, you attempt to destroy your own body as fast as possible without going drug. Yeah, that's what I feel. That's always the way it is with doctors. I think medical school is always work hard, play hard. That was their sort of attitude from the start.
Starting point is 00:05:57 They did more work than anyone and partied harder than anyone. They were just making the most. They were living. They were burning the candle up, both ends. Yeah. I mean, coal miners were kind of like that too. And then on that episode of The Simpsons where the guys
Starting point is 00:06:09 with those shirts who work in the anvil factory, they work hard and they play much harder than they work. They work hard. They play hard. Yeah, exactly. That's such a cliche. I think these children's projects,
Starting point is 00:06:25 I have a lot of respect for them, honestly. But I can see the creepiness happening. There's that spate of YouTube. Not even one ounce of respect for them, actually. There's this whole lot of pregnant Elsa fucking Spider-Man. There was like a Disney, I think there was a Minnie Mouse pissing on Spider-Man YouTube video. But it wasn't like, it was for kids.
Starting point is 00:06:45 It wasn't called that. It was like called like, you know, Minnie gives Spider-Man a shower, a surprise. Like stuff like this. Like, oh God. What the? It's been removed by the user. Thank God.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yeah, thank God for that. Maybe they just like had second thoughts, you know. There's so much of this shit on YouTube. Mickey Mouse needs to pee on Minnie Mouse's bathtub. What the Christ am I watching? My video of Minnie Mouse pissing on Spider-Man went viral, but I had second thoughts about it after it hit a couple of million views. I'm watching a video of Mickey Mouse pissing in the bathtub While the baby mouse is taking a dump and then Minnie Mouse comes in wearing a bikini. What the fuck is this? Have you seen this shit on YouTube?
Starting point is 00:07:27 It's for kids and stuff. This ain't for kids, homie. That's not for kids. Kids like peeing and pooing and they think it's funny, but I don't want them to see their... My daughter loves Minnie Mouse, and I'm not sure how she would react to Minnie Mouse pissing on someone yeah this ain't cool I think you know what I feel like that would traumatize
Starting point is 00:07:49 her but for example this this what I'm just looking at is like Mickey Mouse babies pee on the Minnie Mouse bathtub family finger song nursery rhymes number two it's like right it's like do you know what I think it is right this is what you know like I know that that exists but what's wrong with just some good old-fashioned London bridges falling down? Like, you know, I never hurt anybody.
Starting point is 00:08:09 Well, yeah. Why don't we just stick to the golden oldies instead of, like, trying to shake things up? You're right. Minnie Mouse is pissing in Mickey's mouth,
Starting point is 00:08:18 pissing in Mickey's mouth. You know, we don't need to. It's fine. London Bridge is fine. Like, it's been around for a while. It's tried, tested, and true. We don't need to. It's fine. London Bridge is fine. Like, it's been around for a while. It's tried, tested, and true. We don't need to subject our kids to people pissing.
Starting point is 00:08:31 Spider-Man likes to shit on a cat. Spider-Man likes to felch Mickey Mouse. Felch Mickey Mouse. You know, like, we don't need this. Yeah, we don't need that. We don't need that. We don't need it. No, but the thing is, I think it's like a...
Starting point is 00:08:45 Well, a lot of people have said, oh, it's like search terms. So if you don't know about this, it's basically this spate of weird, weird shit on YouTube. It's been going on for ages. It's like kids-oriented. And basically what kids do is... So many kids now, you see them, they are just on iPads, and they're just browsing through YouTube videos. And it's part of the reason why a lot of these Minecraft channels are quite popular.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you can see. I mean, with my kids as well, we don't even let them go on youtube that much but anytime they're given even half the chance they're on there you know looking up nursery rhymes or and it's crazy how easy it is to navigate for them they can they can get around like it's nuts and there is this like youtube kids section as well, which has somewhat approved stuff on it to make sure that's safe for kids and stuff. And also, there are some safeguards,
Starting point is 00:09:32 but mostly there's a lot of... You end up looping around to weird videos. It's like the related... You know what happens when you click? If you keep clicking a related video over and over again, it's going to go weird pretty quick. Yeah, eventually you get to the weird part of YouTube. it's like sometimes when you go away and leave your pc on and it's been like also playing youtube videos and you're like what the fuck i've just watched 10 stampy videos how
Starting point is 00:09:53 is mickey mouse shitting on minnie's chest where am i the other thing is kids copy everything they fucking see yeah that's the other thing daddy daddy what why why did insert older siblings name here shit on my tummy well well let's ask them why did you shit on insert younger siblings name here tummy because mickey did it to spider-man and i'm mickey and he was spider-man so i shit on his stomach my son came home from school the other day and he did like the dab dab the haters thing with the fucking put his like arms like the the thing and stuff he dabbed he dabbed yeah yeah and um and my wife was like what the fuck is he doing? And I was like, honestly, I don't fucking know.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Like, I'm on the internet a lot, and I've seen that before, and I still don't fucking know what it is or what it means. What, the dab? Well, like, I mean, I loosely get it. I've never, like, you know. But my five-year-old son has come home from school, and he's done that. So, like, I don't know what the fuck, like friends at school are like watching on youtube they're dabbing i guess yeah but like you know what do you know what i'm not sure that it sits well with me you know like i don't think that my five-year-old son should be memeing in real life don't worry about that don't worry about dabbing all right
Starting point is 00:11:18 here's the thing does anybody still harlem shake do you remember the Harlem Shake? That was a real flash in the pen. I mean, that lasted for a week. But so's Dabin, dude. That's all the same shit. The internet now, I mean, in my day, fads were around for a few years before they got old. That's true, actually, yeah. Because it took that long to, I think the word is promulgate.
Starting point is 00:11:39 Yeah. I think that's it. I'm going to Google if promulgate is the right word. No, it sounds about right. That's where all of your little dudes parachute out. To promote or make widely known, right? So, yeah. That's what you do every day when you see a friend of yours.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Exactly. When I promulgate my seed or a meme, right now it is the internet. It's promulgated much more quickly. It's out there in the wild like that. In those, you know, a few years ago, pre-internet, it took years for shit to promulgate. Now you know a few years ago pre-internet it took years for shit to promulgate now you get daily promulgation it's ridiculous i feel like you're
Starting point is 00:12:09 trying to say propagate but maybe no no promulgate all right okay yeah so so like i like this whole like thing on youtube is is a evolutionary thing right so basically what people do is they see what keywords are hot like spider-man mickey mouse and they'll make videos and do shit deliberately to to cater for those hot fucking keywords right and then what they'll do is they'll that so i think what it's a combination of just quantity right so they just pick these these shit youtube channels in i don't know russia it could be like this russian troll you know what well you know what i found as? I think there's a lot of like animation houses based out of India who like absolutely saturate YouTube with like children's content. Because I'm not even joking. Watch like any nursery rhyme video and it's an Indian woman with a heavy like Indian English accent singing songs.
Starting point is 00:13:03 And the animation is – I mean I don't want to be rude. Like, I probably couldn't do much better. But then again, I'm not like. I agree. Holy fuck, the animation is fucking terrible. It's just being swamped, okay? And all they need to do is for a couple of them to get caught up in YouTube's net of, you know, the right keywords.
Starting point is 00:13:23 Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that's why a lot of this stuff, like the pissing and the pooping, has come about. Because I think what happens is you get the kids looking for Mickey Mouse and Spider-Man, but you get the adults looking for pissing and all the sick stuff.
Starting point is 00:13:35 On YouTube, though? No, I don't know. There's other tube networks where that's probably more readily available. But then I think what happens is the search history of the kids and the search history of the dads get blended together on the iPad.
Starting point is 00:13:46 With some holy grail, an unholy grail of the perfect search history, which hits both everyone who uses the iPad. Oh, I guess that's why my daughter was watching awkward Minnie Mouse being choked videos the other day. I guess it was just a weird sort of sort of um you know like brewing pot of my search results and hers i don't know to know i'm just sort of throwing that out there as a no i think it's just it's just the way youtube's shitty algorithm happens to work is that you end up with this this weird shit getting promoted and also it's kind of tough to like sometimes tell
Starting point is 00:14:23 whether something because the amount they're creating they you know i think in eastern europe and india like you said like i reckon there's just these animation houses creating this stuff like just shitting it out we're gonna pay you guys all very very little and can you guys just all work on getting together as many nursery rhyme videos as possible we want to publish about a thousand a month. We'll mash them out on loads of different channels. We'll put loads of different keywords. Some of them will just stick.
Starting point is 00:14:52 It's like sometimes that happens. I remember Terps has got his South Park, original South Park playthrough right on YouTube. And one of the episodes was like, I think he named it like, Mum Fucks Kid or something. And that one has like a million views and the rest have five. And it's just like episode 40, 40 in the middle just has a fucking shitload of views. And sometimes YouTube just grabs these videos
Starting point is 00:15:17 and throws them out. And, you know, if these animation houses can make like, you know, a couple of grand out of each of those, you know, just through YouTube ads, like while it sticks around and before it eventually gets, someone moves it. But, you know, a couple of grand out of each of those, you know, just through YouTube ads, like while it sticks around and before it eventually gets, someone moves it. But, you know, it's tough to even tell. Like, I think if YouTube were to check all these videos one by one, you know, they would never end up fucking, no one knows, right? First of all, hardly anyone really watches what their kids are watching. First of all, it's probably like a lot of people just think it's innocent. Oh, it's just funny. Like, you know, where's the line the line as well like where's the line on this shit you know when like when is it because kids are talking about shitting and pissing and stuff all the time but you know where's the line
Starting point is 00:15:51 you know yeah well it's not it's not um it's not like in a set they don't have any they're not like sexual kids right they don't have any concept of that so like they they wouldn't like have any sort of concept of arousal like in and around shitting and pissing like a like a demented adult would sort of thing but even then like even if it didn't have any like any any actual sexual content or or perverted content like that maybe if it just had like just just a creepy fat spider-man in a like kids like shitting and pissing but they laugh about farting and shitting and pissing in their pants which is yeah very different to be fair but yeah well i do too yeah but like i don't get a boner while i'm talking about yeah exactly right yeah and then we have multiple levels to when we joke in actual fact it's i have like a reverse boner when i'm talking about shitting
Starting point is 00:16:40 my pants like that's not something it's gross man it really is gross man my shit stinks like i there's no other place for it but the toilet like oh and even then sometimes i feel bad for the toilet i'm like geez that's not just one of those things like some people just like boobies some people like asses some people like legs you know that some people like like the weird stuff like i want to shit on you or i want you to shit on me. Yeah, that's a bit weird. Something has happened in your past and that's become your hang up. Like that's not just a fetish. That's like a mental hang up about something.
Starting point is 00:17:13 Yeah. I'd love to know more about what it is, but there's something going on. Nobody just one day goes, huh, I really like someone shitting on me. You know, that's something that's in you from a very, very early age. Or eating shit as well. I mean, how the fuck do you, you know, like the two girls, one cup and stuff. Like, how the fuck are you not barfing your fucking brains out? I've never watched it.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Managed to avoid it. Whilst eating shit. But it's a classic shot thing right there. It's just like, we've got to be hard-coded at a very base level to not eat our own shit like you have to train past that let's move on let's move on from shitting and pissing
Starting point is 00:17:50 because I just felt like no that's enough it's enough it's Christmas by the way yeah Merry Christmas everybody this podcast is going out on like the fucking
Starting point is 00:17:59 6th or 7th of December I don't know if there's going to be any other podcasts in December but we will try our best to record them we'll try our best and they'll be definitely podcast in December, but we will try our best to record them. We'll try our best. Will we? Will we try our best?
Starting point is 00:18:10 Let's put some context to our best, okay? For me, my best is like, I feel a bit groggy today. I think I'm just going to take a week off. I've been sick for two weeks and I've still turned up for recordings, Chris. all i'm saying is
Starting point is 00:18:25 you could learn a thing or two from papa flax well what the fuck man i haven't ditched out on any recordings uh-huh he hasn't like what no i can't think of any i want some dates and times my friend because um i'm pretty sure i showed up to everything i needed to i have a spreadsheet right okay i've got spreadsheets too i've got spreadsheets too guys so let me just load up my spreadsheet hold on here we go wait i'm just entering the search I have a spreadsheet. Right, okay. I've got spreadsheets too. I've got spreadsheets too, guys, so. Let me just load up my spreadsheet. Hold on. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:18:47 Wait, I'm just entering the search formula. Okay. Hold on. And the results are? Yeah, you're clean. You're good. Okay, good. Phew.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Man, I was really worried there for a minute. No, it's okay. You're good. You're good. Hey, so listen, I just want to let it be known before i forget i did watch the apprentice this week and i caught up on the last week's one as well and i can tell you that uh the apprentice that i watched last night this is the uk apprentice with uh lord sugar alan sugar himself uh was probably the hardest thing i've ever had to watch in my life. Wow. It was, I mean, cringe doesn't even cover it.
Starting point is 00:19:27 Holy crap. I had to close my eyes and plug my ears as well. It was so bad. Give me the rundown. What was so bad? So the task this time was they had to make like a recipe in a box. You know, like the, you know, you go to the, if you go to the grocery store now, it has, you can buy like a box with everything that you need to prepare like a, like a prepared meal, right?
Starting point is 00:19:50 So like, say you want to make a curry, a chicken curry. This box would have all the raw ingredients and then really fucking foolproof instructions on how to prepare this, this dish, right? So, so the task was they had to do this themselves. They had to come up with branding for it. They had to figure out what they wanted to, the dish that they wanted to create. They had to create the dish.
Starting point is 00:20:15 They had to do a presentation to a bunch of big wigs from supermarkets and whatever in the UK. And then you won the task if they chose yours more over the other ones. Right. So like, but the actual presentations, one group thought that they were doing like a cooking show and oh my God. And they were trying to like, they were dressed up as salt and pepper shakers and they were
Starting point is 00:20:42 making these fucking terrible jokes and they just sucked at presenting. And, oh, God, it was really fucking awful. Jesus, the crowd was just like not laughing at anything and they just looked pissed off. And like apparently some of the food was burnt and stuff. And, oh, fuck, I can't – I couldn't believe it. It was awful. It was really, really fucking tough to get through you know the worst thing about the apprentice for me is that if you're let's say you're really really good at
Starting point is 00:21:10 being on the apprentice right how much of the shit because the show has to have variety like it's basically a variety kind of show right so you've got to have you can't have every week they put together a very careful and considered business plan no but you know what i think it would be watchable if they were actually competent and successful in the tasks but every task just seems to be a fucking train wreck that they just scrape through because they want to make it something that's like funky hilarious good tv like that's their whole thing no way they they recruit competent people it's like classically in the christ it's that classic story about the crystal maze like was it ben who had a friend and the guys who were were gonna be on the crystal maze or whatever and so they went in for the interview and they like
Starting point is 00:21:53 you know completed a couple of challenges they were okay and they were like no you're too good we can't have you on the show that's it like literally that's it for the apprentice they literally are like well we okay the top of people, you're not on. The top 60% of people, you're too good. We want the bottom fucking scrapings of idiots. We want the scrubs.
Starting point is 00:22:11 We want those guys who come in for an interview and they're fucking hopeless and you're like, yeah, you're a fucking idiot. You're not getting this job. You're on The Apprentice. Perfect.
Starting point is 00:22:19 That's who we want. There's such bullshitters. They just bullshit all the time. I know people are like that in general like i've worked with many in the past who just get by by bullshitting but oh fuck it's tedious to watch it's tedious to have to experience in real life and it just sucks to watch as well really like i i would watch a show where they were really it's that classic television though people love that cringe television. It's what's really caught on.
Starting point is 00:22:47 It's everywhere. No, I find it awful. It's all like that. TV's all like that. Everyone likes to laugh at people worse than them. Everyone likes to see celebs without makeup. Everyone likes to see people fail. Everyone likes to see people high and mighty try their best and then fail
Starting point is 00:23:01 because it makes them feel better about themselves. When did this become TV? I want to see success. I want to feel worse about myself when I watch TV. It's a matter of evolution. I sit there in my undies eating ice cream. I'm already feeling pretty bad. Just make me feel a little bit worse. I deserve it. I'm an asshole.
Starting point is 00:23:20 It is evolution, though. It's like people watch this, people talk about this, and that's why. The reason that we aren't talking about other TV shows right now Is because this is successful This is a successful formula And that's why they keep making it It's not rocket science, it's evolution I don't really watch that much TV either I mean I quite like the
Starting point is 00:23:39 I like the format of The Apprentice But man the contestants just drive me fucking nuts They're supposed to My show I used to like was Dragon's Den. I liked Dragon's Den. But Dragon's Den was another one. It guaranteed every single person. And it's like these people have never watched
Starting point is 00:23:54 the show before. They come in and they value their business at a million pounds. And that is just like the fucking red flag that goes up for everyone on the panel, the dragons, to say, you're fucking full of shit. Like there's no way you're selling a million pounds worth of stickers in like three months or whatever your stupid business idea is. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:24:15 Like it's just crazy. But they always do it. It's always some stupid thing. I've come up with a new kind of doorstop. And I value my business at four billion pounds yeah like and they'll write it down and they're like okay uh peter jones has a question yeah i've got a question for you i'm just looking at your valuation here and it looks completely bonkers to me quite honestly bonkers four billion pound valuation how do you get that valuation he looks like personally
Starting point is 00:24:41 offended every single time and they'll always be like well we looked at the cost of our unit which is eight pounds and our profit on that is five pounds and we counted the number of doors in the country and we multiplied the profit by the number of doors in the country and that's what we came out with four billion they're like you know it's literally like that you we assume we're gonna sell our doorstop to everybody who owns a door yeah and they're gonna have one of our doors they have like they have no contracts they have no like It's literally like that. We assume we're going to sell our doorstop to everybody who owns a door. And they're going to have one of our doorstops on every door. They have no contracts. They have no like – nobody is like using them for supply, nothing. Nobody wants it.
Starting point is 00:25:14 It doesn't even work. It's a piece of garbage, but it's worth $4 billion. Theoretically, it's worth $4 billion, but we haven't actually – And that's only the UK. We're going to scale it up internationally. This thing is going to be worth a trillion dollars, doorstop company that's how they work yeah i mean i like dragon's den as well i haven't watched it in a couple of years but like i used to i used to watch it about as regularly as the apprentice sort of thing you know we'd make a point to like
Starting point is 00:25:39 set aside the time to watch it and stuff and it was good fun sort of thing but like ah fuck i don't know i don't know the things i watch now like i watch the nature document like the the blue planet too i'm watching that at the moment i watch reruns of stuff and i'll watch uh strictly come dancing but only the intro because it's such an amazing piece of television the way they do this show and they like the camera changes the the professional dancers are phenomenal it's amazing i mean it's just if you look at it as a saturday night piece of telly and really like absolute gold you know if that's what you're doing that's your profession i i feel like strictly come dancing is like the you know like one of the best things that you could do like for your career bar none sort of thing like i mean the household names yeah because what other like opportunities are there for you to like get a really big name in dancing that like spills into like you know
Starting point is 00:26:29 sort of like mass media there there isn't it's just like it just doesn't happen like you could be like some renowned renowned dancer like or whatever but like you know most people won't have heard of you unless they're really interested in going to like like a ballet or like whatever some sort of dance i don't even know i don't i don't really watch the show i just watched the intro first five minutes quintessentially british right like bake off and strictly are very british shows you know i feel like they're a combination of you know people putting themselves in the line and kind of embarrassing themselves a little bit a little bit like i'm a celebrity or like you know get me out of here they i think that's like a very opposite end i feel like master chef i i find every time i've watched it the people who are on it seem competent they seem to be able to cook like that stuff that they make
Starting point is 00:27:19 looks pretty good like you can tell they've thought about it and stuff and like yeah i mean the more it chugs on to the end of the series like you know like when you have like the finalists and stuff taking celebrities out of their comfort zone and making them kind of putting them put them more pressure on it but at the same time being quite quite british and quite cozy i guess television with it with a little a bit of that fake drama thrown in. It's like, oh, James is angry with Tim because Tim has borrowed his salt shaker and not returned it. But by the way, while they're arguing, Janine's souffle has been in the oven for 30 seconds too long
Starting point is 00:27:59 and she's not paying attention. Oh no, my souffle's been in the oven for 30 seconds too long and I would be paying attention. Oh, no, my souffle's been in the oven for 30 seconds too long and I'm not paying attention. I think my favorite British show still, and I'm sure they do them other places. It's not just in Britain. But I feel like it works better in Britain because of the state of housing in Britain. It's homes under the hammer because, man, do they ever get some stinkers. And they make them look really fucking nice in the end, too.
Starting point is 00:28:24 It's crazy like i don't think there's any other country in the world where like some of the housing in britain is just really trash like it's yeah it could be really fucking bad but it's still worth like half a million yeah when it's all done and everything but like it always amazes me that like they you know they're like oh yeah my friend's a roofer and he came in and did the job for free. And you're like, wow, OK, great. I mean, it's good. But no, Homes Under the Hammer is really good.
Starting point is 00:28:52 You know, another show I've been watching recently is this one where it's like MasterChef. It's got I think it's Prue Leith is one of the people or someone like that. And some other guy, the Italian chef, I can't remember his name. And it's like a family comes in. Right right and it's like families cooking competitively so you'll have like the smith family against the you know some other family and they're sort of they have to cook a dish and prepare it and they come to their home and they cook them a lovely meal and stuff that was a good show like i actually really enjoyed that i don't know why it was good it was good i like cookery shows sometimes but i i'll sit and watch it if mrs f is watching it but i'll never go out
Starting point is 00:29:28 of my way to watch no hell no that's the thing my my like tv for me is is very much like my wife wants to watch something and asks if i want to watch it with her and then i'm like yeah okay sure that sounds fine sort of thing but i would never seek it out myself like if if if my wife never asked me to watch tv i would occupy all of my spare time exclusively to playing video games like i just literally be in here 24 hours a day yeah and the thing is like we grew up in an era when tv was all that people watched like there was no fucking like you know if you rented a movie that was like a friday night or saturday night's treat thing oh man you didn't have movies was awesome you remember you used to get like the big bundles i don't know if you you guys had this but like i i remember like on friday after school we'd get home my parents would get home from work at like five
Starting point is 00:30:15 or six or whatever uh we'd eat some dinner and usually because it was friday it would just be something like you know like pizza or something like that something that they didn't have to prepare and then everybody would get in the car and we'd go to the movie store. And we would literally rent like 20 movies. And that was us the whole weekend, just like movies or video games and stuff. It was awesome. God, I loved it. It was so good. We'd get to watch. I mean, so that's us, right? So think how much TV young people must be watching. If you're listening to this podcast, you're like 17 or 18 years old. Be honest, how much tv young people must be watching yeah if you're listening to this podcast you're like 17 or 18 years old be honest how much tv do you watch i'd love to know like there must be some kind of fucking survey out there i don't know when i stream i'm sure you're the same chris right
Starting point is 00:30:53 the same people tune in every night to watch me stream like i stream pretty much every day of the week yeah and i see the same people in chat every time and i'm like absolutely yeah this is crazy like i mean a lot of them have me on the second monitor so they're not really paying attention which is fine yeah i don't really pay attention i've always got a stream open on a second monitor yeah sure i mean you just got it on yeah but in the old days you'd be on the tv also a lot of people watch on their phones so i'll be streaming and someone's like i'm in a lecture right now i'm like damn so they're in a lecture in university with their phone in their lap watching me play dota instead of getting an education yeah i mean the alternative to that is just like what i did at school is just
Starting point is 00:31:29 not go to the lectures like i never listened anyway so i just stayed home like i i bought all the books that i needed i had all the course material and stuff and i just basically i might as well just done it i've done it like you know correspondence learning or whatever you know like um because i never went to the lectures it was just such a pain in the ass to get out there to the some of them were so early in the morning that it was just like i i never learned anything from going to the lectures like it was just awful there was one lecture you know i was i was talking about this the other day on discord with the some of my guys and a lot of my university a lot of my students and stuff and there was one lecture like at the start of every year,
Starting point is 00:32:05 you'd got your timetable of all the modules that you'd have to do that year and everything. And we'd look through it. And the ones that were called things like networking for businesses and stuff, you go, oh, I could learn that off the course sheet. I don't need a lecture for that. The ones about database, like how to actually code a proper database and how to structure it, you go into that lecture. The one of this guy, it was a procedural uh computing language i think it was something called procedural it was called
Starting point is 00:32:29 z or z and it was basically a way to formally structure what the program was going to do with this mathematical notation it was incredibly hard right this lecture right it was like the densest fucking lecture that we had so difficult and the lectures were the best attended there was like the densest fucking lecture that we had. So difficult. And the lectures were the best attended. There was like 100% attendance to these lectures because it's an important module. And it was so hard that we needed to be in the class with a lecturer and he would explain it. And so we could put hands up and say,
Starting point is 00:32:55 can you explain that again? And there was a whole one week, the whole lecture was on recursion. So if you've not done any programming, the programmer's joke for recursion is, if you look recursion up in the dictionary, it just says see recursion, right? That's it. So you just keep looking, you know, so a recursive loop is just, it basically, it keeps doing it and doing it, but it's calling itself, which is a very fucked up kind of idea.
Starting point is 00:33:18 And you're like, how does it ever not do that? You know, it's sort of like the, the idea of a recursive loop is, is kind of tricky because it's like saying, saying, you know, to understand how this works, you need to read this book. And when you reopen the book, it says, to understand how this works, you need to read this book. And so, you know, you're continually cycling through. So it's crazy. So that lecture blew a lot of people's minds. We're all in there, like 100% attendance. But most of the lectures, the guy gets up, he's reading off a sheet, he's writing the notes on the board, and that's it. He can give you the fucking sheet and you can read it at home. And when you get the coursework, the questions are dead simple.
Starting point is 00:33:49 You look at the coursework, you read the notes, bosh, you're done. I mean, that was most of university for me. So I could see why people can look at their fucking phones. Most lectures, I just wanted to turn up so that they didn't think I had not, you know, that I dropped the course or whatever. I was still at university. But God, I must have missed like 50% of my fucking time. No, me too. Oh, man, I missed even more. had not you know that i dropped the course or whatever i was still at university yeah but god i must have missed like 50 percent of my fucking no me too man i missed even more but the problem with me was that i went to i went to school in the same city that i lived in right like so i still
Starting point is 00:34:15 lived with my parents at the time i was like that's gotta start 21 i guess when i started going to to college um so it was like i had to take a bus to the other side of the city. And all in all, one trip from where my parents lived to school was an hour and a half of busing, like just one way, and then back again, like, you know, in the evening or whatever. So like, at first, you know, it was just like, oh, you know, this is all new and fresh and I've got to go. I've got to be there. And like, you know, I made a couple of like friends that like, you know, we spoke to back then. It was MSN Messenger.
Starting point is 00:34:52 That was like the big thing. Like that's what you used, right? So I got them all on Messenger. And then slowly over time, I went less and less and less until basically i just boycotted going all together because i just like i had the books i just knew where to find like everything that i needed like i knew when everything was due and stuff and then so i just stay home play counter-strike like all day and then fucking uh whenever i needed to actually do something i just get on msn and speak to somebody who'd actually gone to the lectures and say, like, what do I need to do?
Starting point is 00:35:26 And they'd tell me. And then I would just turn up for exams or to, like, hand stuff in. And that was it. Like, it was just – fuck me. Like, lectures were just, like, such a write-off for me. Like, I just – I'm not the type of person who can sit there and listen to people and, like, soak it in. Like, it's just – I can't do it. Like, I have to – I just have to do and do and do, soak it in. Like, it's just I can't do it. Like, I have to,
Starting point is 00:35:50 I just have to do and do and do and try and try it. Like maybe I'm nuts or something. But like, I'm very sort of like, I learned when I'm doing stuff, like hands on and trying stuff. Like, I can't, I can't just listen to somebody explain something to me. And then I find it very, very hard. I mean, my daughter, my eldest daughter daughter she's terrible at listening and when i she got her report at the end of last year and it was it was great like i actually cried her report was so good i was so proud of her and you know it was fantastic and i was telling her it was great and it's all good good like it's all like above expectation everything like they don't list it as a b c at that age it's just like she's where she should be she's she's not where she should be or she's ahead of where she should be and everything she's not where she should be or she's
Starting point is 00:36:25 ahead of where she should be and everything was ahead of where she should be apart from the art religious education which she didn't give a shit about and i was like i don't care and the other bit was um listening the listening skills need work and i was like i'm gonna have to talk to the teacher about that and he goes well she just kind of gets all distant and she's off in her own dream world and she doesn't really pay attention i'm like shit i can't really i criticize it for it i say she shouldn't do it but that's me yeah that is literally me i think that's pretty much everyone no it's really not uh that's this is what i've discovered is i assumed everybody was like this but they're really not like a lot of people really listen and pay attention man i
Starting point is 00:37:02 would come out of lectures or come out of a conversation and like mrs f she does this all the time we'll go we'll talk to someone very briefly and later on she'll say can you believe what so-and-so said i'm like who said what and she'll have to remind me of the entire conversation i'll forget stuff that i spoke to someone about the day before she doesn't like some people just don't she fucking remembers the conversation she has a conversation with someone she remembers it she goes to a talk she remembers the talk there are people like that. People start talking to me
Starting point is 00:37:26 and I just instantly, I start thinking of like Mickey taking a dump on Minnie's chest and stuff. Exactly. I'm gone. I'm in some weird sort of like, you know,
Starting point is 00:37:36 scat fetish Disney, you know, mashup and then, you know, that's it. I'm thinking about that right now. Yeah, me too. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 I think the future will see more kind of, I don't know, even when I was at uni, I was thinking like, right now. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I think the future will see more kind of, I don't know, even when I was at uni, I was thinking like, fuck, you know, I could do all this from home, couldn't I? You know, and I think that... The thing is, when I went though, the technology wasn't quite there.
Starting point is 00:37:55 I think nowadays, especially, you could do absolutely everything. You'd never need to physically go to a school now. Like, if I went to school again now, I would never go like and i would feel fine about the same time like we all thought that this would happen right like 10 years ago we all thought oh second life's a thing you could just go into a school classroom there you can just get your lecture notes from there you can have even a teacher can like
Starting point is 00:38:17 broadcast himself from his or her bedroom you know and teach us like streaming yeah you know we thought that this would happen and it hasn't at all like nothing's changed Skype your your tutor or whatever and I mean I'm sure like some elements of that must be happening but like generally it feels like the majority of stuff is still done in person and the majority I think the reason for that is simple though right if you think about it the reason for it is that you have to pay to go to fucking university. How do you know that if you're Skyping your class or whatever, that there's not just a bunch of other people freeloading on that lecture who haven't paid to attend university and are going to fucking learn?
Starting point is 00:38:55 Wouldn't that be absolutely terrible if people were able to just learn for free? I know, imagine that. Imagine that kind of world. You can't keep learning for free. That's not the fucking world I want to live in. Exactly want i want poor people to stay uneducated yeah all right and only the rich deserve knowledge yeah and if you're poor and you can't afford education guess what you can borrow the money you can borrow the money and you can fucking pay it back you piece of shit and you don't get a fucking house burning hell so um so so in jersey where i live they're
Starting point is 00:39:27 doing they they've they've just announced that they're going to uh pay uh tuitions for for every islander that wants to go to university uh where their like family income is below 150 000 a year and they'll pay half tuition fees for families that earn over 150 000 a year which is fantastic isn't it like it's a it's a small place so i guess they could do it sort of yeah you got to spend all the apple profits somehow that's it yeah but it's it's it's a it's a good commitment though isn't it to to sort of getting people uh like you know there's like anywhere like even jersey being a small place you know there's there are a lot of people who are like on benefits, like rely on like social housing and stuff like that. And I feel like – I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:13 Like just when I read that, it just seemed like such a good thing. with a family who don't have a lot of money or don't have a background of like, you know, being educated or whatever, it gives them the chance to finish school and then go to university and like, and get an education, like a further education and potentially, you know, land a really fucking good job and make, you know, make a good living sort of thing. Just get-
Starting point is 00:40:39 Social mobility is, that's the only way to solve- Gets them out of the rut, right? Like gets them out of the- I mean, that's the thing is if you... It's a cycle. It's totally a cycle. Exactly. If you limit access to good jobs,
Starting point is 00:40:51 to people whose families already have good jobs, what are you doing? Like why would you ever think that's a good idea? And think about it this way. Let's say you're... I've thought this for a while. Let's say you're a heartless industrialist, right? You're like one of those big fat guys
Starting point is 00:41:04 with a cigar and a top hat. Ah, I got the factory. Ah, I got the workers. I don't want to pay them more than a dime an hour, but the goddamn government makes me pay them a nickel an hour. Yeah. Garbage. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:15 Whatever. So it's like Winston Churchill, like, fused together with Trump. If the Monopoly guy was like a real guy, right? If you're that guy. Let's say you're looking at poor people and you think, scroungers, and you're like Alan Shiggers, like, oh, I'm self-made, I'm made, you know, we talked about this the other week, I made my millions myself, I need a fucking handout,
Starting point is 00:41:32 so all these poor people need to pull their finger out. Most people aren't like you. If you want a society where you can have educated workers, Mr. Industrialist, right, why would you pass over the chance to get some really talented people who just had a shit start in life even looking at it that way as as the most heartless conservative possible you have all these people out there that you're you're passing over on automatically they
Starting point is 00:41:57 might be brilliant they might be the geniuses that you desperately need in your stupid fucking doorstop making business and you're just just saying, nah, fuck it. Value of $4 billion a year, yeah. Yeah. It just doesn't make sense to me. It doesn't. Even like health. If you're looking at healthcare and you're saying people should have to pay for it,
Starting point is 00:42:15 even if you're the monopoly man and you've got a factory making doorstops, if your workers are getting sick and they can't work because they're all getting sick and you've got to retrain new ones, even from your perspective, paying for healthcare should surely be a good thing because having healthy customers and healthy workers is good for everybody i just don't get it man i don't fucking get it it's the way she fucking goes flax it's just the way she fucking goes you know sometimes she goes sometimes you know i was thinking um when you guys were talking about porn earlier i was thinking this is something i've thought for a while right okay we weren't really talking about porn but sure we always we touched on it we touched on it so i've been thinking right the guy the guys that
Starting point is 00:42:55 make uh porn yeah okay i think a lot of them are frustrated filmmakers who have fallen into pornography absolutely yeah right and they're like they wanted to make like the a great western or like a really good drama or something like that and these cameramen and the editors and the directors and all the rest of it they're like well no movie studios will take my ideas so i'm just gonna make porn have you seen anyone who works here pflex you've just employed everyone in our office as well. Everyone didn't think they'd end up drawing pictures of a fucking stupid dwarf every day or editing some dumbass
Starting point is 00:43:30 podcast together. They thought they were going to be the next fucking Stanley Kubrick. But they're not making porn, right? They're not making porn. So the guys that are making porn, this is my favourite part of it. This is my favourite part of it. If you like porn not not the stuff that's just like a
Starting point is 00:43:47 hand cam and the guy's just filming his dick going into a woman like he's literally just filming it like oh you won't believe this look at this listen to the noise right i'm talking about where there's like a set and there's lights and they've carefully lit it stay there in that bathtub minnie minnie wait there mickey when i wave my arm like this, you enter. You deliver your line. Well, hi there, Minnie. Looks like you need some of the shit on your tummy. Daddy needs a poo.
Starting point is 00:44:14 You deliver that line. Wait, wait, wait. Spider-Man, you're going to have to come in at this point. Spider-Man, when I wave my left arm, you swing in on your web, and you jizz all over everything everything and then you zip on out and they're like yeah thumbs up you know so they're ready to go but the director there he's like putting the scene together in his mind so he's like that you you know they have the shots like it's a tv show like they'll have a shot like they'll have a conversation shot there's like
Starting point is 00:44:40 over the shoulder like convo so i can't remember what they call that uh one-on-one like there's a specific term for when you shoot it with one person's looking at the other person you film it over their shoulder but it's like forced perspective so they're actually looking and you look it up anyway so they'll have those kind of shots and then they'll have the cutaway shot for the editor right so anytime you're filming something if you have a transition shot you need to cut to something else and often they're like well shit if we're filming a woman getting fucked and we're like from her perspective like you know we're looking at her face and the dude's behind you can't really see him how can i cut from this to the the the the shot they always do for like two minutes of any any porno film which is
Starting point is 00:45:20 underneath between the legs when you see the guy's ball sack hanging down and he's just so you can make just almost like this is the proof. If we have to go to court and prove these people fucked, look at this shot. This is a two minute shot, a static shot of this guy's dick banging away with his balls
Starting point is 00:45:36 slapping all over the place. Gotta make sure we get that shot, right? But before they go from the face shot with, you know, where we're looking at her face and he's behind her and we cut to the ball shot, we need a cutaway shot. They can't cut to the scenery because you can't cut away from the action.
Starting point is 00:45:50 Right. So they cut to the dude's face because there's nothing else to cut to of him going, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. This is good. Oh, yeah. All the dudes watching this are like, don't fucking show the dude's face. What are you doing? Come on. But they have to because they're filmmakers nobody wants to see the dude's face when he's fucking this girl but they always have to cut to his face because the editors are like you've got to give me something to cut to so like oh fine we'll shoot three minutes of this guy he's clearly not having sex when they cut to his face
Starting point is 00:46:19 it's just like a shot of him gurning and going yeah this is good. You look it up. You'll see it in a lot of pornos. I won't be able to see that. I never watch pornos, so I don't know what you're talking about. No, I don't know what you mean. Yeah, sure. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. I had a few things to say, but I've lost them along the way. This has been
Starting point is 00:46:39 a crazy one. This is what happens when we miss a week. Look, everybody's got a million things that they want to say um listen let's talk about video games for two seconds because i want to brag about how good my commander iron man x-com 2 wore the chosen runs going holy fuck boys like it's going good i played i i did a chosen mission yesterday okay where like um you know i had all all three of the missions done i went in to uh to kill a chosen uh we were fighting the chosen and my grenadier who happened to have a um what's the mod where you get executions is a repeater i want to say it's a repeater yeah so i don't think that's even a mod it it think that's just in the game. It procs very, very, very rarely.
Starting point is 00:47:26 5%. Yeah. No, no, some of them are 10%. Oh, yeah. I'm fighting the assassin. She's stealthed, so she used Vanishing Wind and disappeared, but didn't move. I wasn't sure.
Starting point is 00:47:40 I thought maybe she would move. She didn't, okay? So I move my Grenadier in to reveal her, thinking she's still there. So grenadier gets into position. It's a flanked position on her as well and reveals her. She's still standing there. It was an 80% chance to hit. So I took the shot thinking, you know, do some shredding to the armor and stuff and just get ready for the rest of the boys to like dogpile her or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:09 And fucking she's on full health. She hasn't even been touched yet executed it was fucking glorious like it was insane and then so and then we pegged away at the sarcophagus thing she came back half health and then we just one shot her and it was oh my god it was so dreamy like i'm at the point in the game now where my guys are just so strong we're just snowballing through everything like the avatar progress it does get to a point where you just there's no fight it's so fucking ropey at first it's about yeah it's ropey at first if you once you get ahead of that curve it feels like it gets easier yeah i'm all teched i got all the upgrades everything everybody's got like you're at the point where basically the end is in sight.
Starting point is 00:48:46 I feel like a little bit like with War of the Chosen. I don't necessarily think the— I think once you get rid of the actual Chosen, it's awesome because, like, they never fuck with you again. Well, it feels like you don't often even need to kill the Chosen, though. Like, for me, it was like, well, why would I bother even doing this? I could just finish the game. No, but they come in—they turn up in the final mission if you don't,
Starting point is 00:49:05 and that makes it even harder. Because the final mission is pretty hard. Oh, the final mission's hard anyway. Yeah, you get lots of bad guys. I haven't got that far. Me and Ben haven't got that far. We're sort of playing it much more slowly than you. You're sort of burning through it all on multiple hours of streaming every day,
Starting point is 00:49:19 and you've overtaken us multiple times on multiple playthroughs. But no, it's such a great game, XCOM 2. I've got so much time for that game I fucking love it man it's so good they've done such a good job I'm like really excited to see what they do next
Starting point is 00:49:31 yep you know the guys that made the long war mod are making their own standalone game really I'm not surprised that tends to be what happens
Starting point is 00:49:39 that's what happened with chivalry wasn't it chivalry was the standalone version of these guys who'd made a shit ton of mods before it's amazing I mean there's a game I play called Civil War Chivalry, wasn't it? Chivalry was the standalone version of these guys who'd made a shit ton of mods before. It's amazing.
Starting point is 00:49:49 I mean, there's a game I play called Civil War, and it's a fantastic game. I'll give you the proper name. It's called Ultimate General Civil War. So these guys were the guys that made the Darth mod for Total War. And if anybody's played the original Total War Rome and stuff like that, there was this guy called Darth Mod,
Starting point is 00:50:03 and they did those mods. So they made this game. So I love these small game studios because I feel like if they started off in the mod community and then moved into making games, they've seen what AAA titles and big games companies make.
Starting point is 00:50:17 And they're like, you know what? This would be really good if it just had this, this, this, and this, and this. And they make it much simpler and they tend to improve a little bit and they take the gloss off and put more gameplay in that's the way it feels to me yeah you're right so there's a game i'm playing at the moment called hold fast sips i think you saw me streaming it the other night it looks awesome i like i really want to play it funny
Starting point is 00:50:37 it's like a napoleonic era game 150 players on the server i was watching you guys last night and you were on boats i couldn't believe it yeah we were doing the ship. I was watching you guys last night and you were on boats. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, we were doing the ship battles. So you actually, you spawn on like, you know, you have your crews, you're like spawning on this little sloop. You have to load the guns and roll them out. And there's like a helmsman. You've got a captain with a telescope and everything. You roll around, you blow up these ships.
Starting point is 00:50:57 It's fucking amazing. The land battles is like 150 players, literally 150 players. You'll form like a line of like 50 people. And you'll literally all say, right, ready, aim, fire. And all the musketmen will fire. And you've got like drummers and flag bearers and stuff. It's amazing. That game was made by three dudes, three people.
Starting point is 00:51:14 There's this little studio called Anvil Games. They're in Malta. And there's three of them. One guy's a programmer. One guy's like the lead designer and everything. And the other guy's like the art director and stuff. They just fucking made it. And it's amazing. i was streaming it and they were in the chat answering questions and shit i was like this is this is what i fucking like man these little game shooters they
Starting point is 00:51:32 fucking they love games and they they're like we're working on this we're working on that it's it's amazing to me i i hope they do new stuff x-com 2 was fantastic i mean if you look at what they did with the war of the Chosen, they pulled in a lot of stuff that modders had made and made it part of the game. Because they're like, this is too good. We have to put this in the game. So I really hope that they stay open like that. Games companies, sometimes when the title gets too big,
Starting point is 00:51:57 they don't want to listen to the community and to modders anymore. Modders are like the brilliant voice of the community. Because if they come up with... It's so democratic as well. They come up with an idea if it's shit it's not popular if this mod makes the game amazing this will be more popular than the base game yeah and people will be fucking downloading this and playing it like crazy i love it yeah i like it too i think um i i play so xcom that the the playthrough i'm doing right now um i use the Shen's Last Gift DLC, which gives you like a story mission. But then it makes it so that you can build mechs in the proving ground and take them out with your squads.
Starting point is 00:52:36 And like they're pretty awesome. Like I've got like a mech. It's named after one of the guys in my Twitch chat called Plips. And he's spanish the the the robot speaks spanish and looks is very colorful but they've got just these awesome abilities like um you can build them like you can build them to be like just these like wrecking balls or you can build them to be like really sort of tanky and supportive of like the rest of your crew so like i've got this this uh this skill with uh with with my mech my main mech where he provides full cover so he's got like that you know like yeah yeah so you can stand him in the middle of a field and then just get people in behind him and he's and he's full cover and it's yeah it's awesome it's it's so good
Starting point is 00:53:22 there's just so many little things like Yeah. We had a mech. It was so awesome. He got one-shot by an Andromedon. Oh, yeah. That does happen. Because he was just standing in the fucking open. When Andromedons hit, man, they hit fucking hard.
Starting point is 00:53:35 Yeah, they do. Do you know the most annoying fucking unit in XCOM I find is the mech dude that fires the grenade launchers. That shit always fucks me up. Yeah. Every fucking time he turns up he runs forward he kneels down blows up all your cover knocks a bunch of dudes over
Starting point is 00:53:53 oh my god fucking mechs i always go full like i want guys with the talon rounds that take down the mechs or the ear the bluetooth or whatever the fuck it is the rounds that kill mechs i try to make my guys yeah yeah i try to make my guys immune to explosions and stuff. I fucking hate the mechs. Or I'll hack them. I'll get one guy hacking. I'll hack the mech, take it over, run it right into trouble. Grenades everywhere.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I love it. You just need a sniper with blue screen rounds and you can one-shot mechs. Do you know, honestly, the last few runs I've done, snipers, not been a big thing for us. Really? Not been a big thing for us, yeah. How?
Starting point is 00:54:27 Because I find that I just don't use them. We just get in amongst them. It's just to shoot people from across the map. That's all with the sniper until they... No, we get right in there, man.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Shinobis or whatever they... Anyway, let's not talk too much about X-Cop 2. So the jingle jam has begun and this has consumed a huge amount of my time over the last couple of weeks trying to get all this stuff together, and Terp's too.
Starting point is 00:54:50 And it's pretty tough, actually. There's a few things I wanted to run by you which are kind of a bit weird. So obviously we're trying to fill up the schedule, trying to do different streams from usual, and we've got a list of games. And it's tough to get people like developers to kind of give us their
Starting point is 00:55:05 games right and one reason is because um a lot of people just buy this shit up and sell it on g2a kind of thing and so you know i think previously developers have been like well you know i gave my game to the jingle jam bundle and there's there's just like 20 000 copies of it on g2a now kind of thing wow um which is kind of kind of a problem in a way but at the same time you know what it's not really that much of a problem is it because you know at the end of the day you raised a whole load of money for charity and so you know that's just how it is yeah i don't know but i can understand that that point and so a lot of people would be very reticent to to give their games to bundle this year and also we've had this much there's much more increased of free to play games so like games that
Starting point is 00:55:45 were not used didn't used to be free to play are now free to play and so how do they give stuff to the bundle and in a way like they can give stuff that's it's that's like a heroic pack or whatever you know of some special stuff that you get in the game for which is cool um but it's almost it's almost like how do you make that not just like an advert? Do you know what I mean? I'm beginning to worry that the Jingle Jam is almost like a newspaper just stuffed full of ads. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:11 Because it's like, you know, free to play game, free to play game. And so it's not necessarily clear what people are getting from these things. And they don't want to just be glorified sort of ads or anything. But at the same time, I quite like a bit of, you know, good stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:24 You know, if it's like, if it costs you like If it costs you like 10 Hearthstone packs or whatever, which obviously we're never ever going to get because Blizzard are never going to give us anything. Or any big company is never going to give us anything. I mean, we're talking about your indie games, it's those people, those three-man teams who are the people donating their games to the Jingle Jam, really, mainly. Anyone who's of any size is not interested in taking part.
Starting point is 00:56:48 But I think that even something like, I think like, you know, a few packs for Hearthstone or something like that, or a hero would be amazing. You know, people would buy, people would pay 25 bucks just for a fucking hero portrait in the bundle, do you know what I mean? Like a unique hero portrait. And you do some good for Christ's sake, like, come on.
Starting point is 00:57:03 So my dream is that that will happen one day. one day in the distant future yeah it feels like we work really hard for blizzard we kind of do all sorts of things for them and they're very kind of it's like it's so disappointing because turps is constantly doing stuff working hard going to gamescom doing the presenting coming up with ideas talking to everyone doing stuff and like they're constantly like well nah, it's not good enough. Well, I think they've just got their idea of what they want to do. He's like an annoying kid who's kind of like too keen. I think concepts of maybe being too keen.
Starting point is 00:57:36 No, I think it's one of those things. They're a big company. They know what they want to do. They've got like, you know, obviously they've got roadmaps for everything that they do well in advance sort of thing. And I think like, Terp's probably doing the right thing, actually. You just got to keep trying, trying, trying, trying, trying, and then something will stick sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:57:55 Like that's all you can do, I think. Yeah, the Jingle Jam bundle is great. Like there's a huge amount of generosity. We've got, you know, like 60 games or whatever. And it's like, you know, in terms of like a good deal, you know, it games or whatever and it's like you know that in in in terms of like a good deal you know it's like hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of stuff for you know 35 bucks or whatever the price is now and it's like yeah you know it's like it is definitely like in terms of it but you can't expect good games in it particularly um like
Starting point is 00:58:22 or new games either like you know it's tough for people everyone has to make you know these guys have to make their money at christmas as well and i can understand that people wouldn't want to just give away their their stuff for free especially here's one i know rust rust is going to be in there ain't it yeah i mean the guarantee worth it for rust alone i think rust is the fucking business and by the time you're listening to this podcast, we will already be live with the Rust Yogg server. I think, and this is what we're looking at now, it's like a 500-person server. Can you guys fucking believe it?
Starting point is 00:58:53 That's crazy. 500-person server. Yeah, that's going to be nuts. Ackerwise is all over it. And it's going to be ridiculous. And week two, this should go out. So when this podcast goes out, it'll be week one. Week one will have been clan limit size of five newbie friendly everybody's just going to get used to the game basic rust
Starting point is 00:59:11 stuff week two is going to be unbelievable you guys if you haven't got it yet get it and be ready for week two week two is going to be phenomenal yeah so hopefully there'll be some hopefully i mean i what i really want to do is have more streams than we've got scheduled because there's a lot of people who want to do stuff you know Hatfields want to do their music stream Martin wants to do a day and you know
Starting point is 00:59:30 if you're streaming in the evening PFLAX or whatever I hope that like you'll be able to drop into the Rust server and do stuff parallel with the Jingle Jam
Starting point is 00:59:38 so that's something I haven't really talked about because I've just I've got so much planning to do before it launches tomorrow I'm just just losing my shit I haven't published a schedule yet I haven't finalised a whole bunch of crap
Starting point is 00:59:50 Lewis how many jingle jams have you done now? five and have you enjoyed them? very much have they been a success? well yes they've all been a success why are you worried homie?
Starting point is 01:00:03 I'm not really worried you've got a team of people pulling for you. I'm not worried. The viewers are ready. Don't worry. I'm going out of my way this year to bring the whole thing down from the inside. Like, I'm just going to put a real stick right into the spokes of the jingle jangle and just bring it all down.
Starting point is 01:00:22 Just be confident. That's going to be my thing. Last year we raised, what, $2 two million dollars i know 2.5 million it was it was 2.5 that's nuts boom me and terps for dad decks we're doing a special stream that we're we're still organizing and planning but it's coming together nice and it should be pretty good it's gonna be like probably in the middle of the month december but it's it's going to be hearthstone themed because it's dad decks and um yeah it's pretty exciting like we're pretty excited about it like if it all comes together and and and goes forward i think it'll be a pretty good one so that that's something to look forward to if you like that kind of stuff yeah well that's
Starting point is 01:00:57 that that's that's definitely like in the late half yeah i think that's all i i when you said you were going to organize the stream tips i was like i was like oh good well let's see whether that actually happens but no you've you've done it all you've sorted it out it's booked in it's like it's gonna happen i'm excited for it now i'm not a very enthusiastic person or competent person but sometimes i can i can pull it out of the bag i feel like this time we've sort of pulled it out of the bag, which is pretty good. So we'll see. I mean, it might all fall through. Who knows?
Starting point is 01:01:28 But I don't know. Terps wants to get Legend in Hearthstone over December. He does. He decided that this is his year, and you might be the one to help him, Sips. Well, he doesn't believe that I earned Legend. He said I played a meme deck, which I didn't. And I don't think he realizes what goes into it.
Starting point is 01:01:46 It's a lot of fucking games. Like I played upwards of about 500 to 600 games the month that I got Legend. It was nuts. I had to play it like hours and hours a day, every day, keep playing, keep grinding, and I got it. So I don't know. That's crazy. But we'll see. We'll see.
Starting point is 01:02:03 You might get it. Good luck. Yeah, yeah. You just got to get, you got to find a deck that you're comfortable with, that you like playing. And you got to learn all of your matchups. You got to learn all of your outs.
Starting point is 01:02:12 You got to learn all of the matchups. And it's got to just have a good win rate as well. You can't waste your time on a deck that has a low win rate because it's never going to get you anywhere, right? Also, it has to be moderately fast. Because if you pick a deck which is fatigue major whatever yeah yeah you're gonna you want you want to close games sort of like turn seven or eight if you can and those are like the fast ones pretty good um you don't want to be like going half an hour per game or else you'll never
Starting point is 01:02:39 see anyway i don't know why we're giving tips to terps from remotely he'll have had all this already thank you everyone for listening to the podcast this week. We'll be back. There's a couple of mornings that we're all free, so we'll see if we can record some Christmassy podcasts for you guys. I'm down in a couple of weeks' time. We're going to have a fun time. We're going to play the pokers and stuff.
Starting point is 01:02:56 I might be coming down. I'm not sure, though. I've got a trip next week, and that might sort of make it. You're off to America. We're off to America, yeah, next week for a couple of days. Well, I think we can say it's Hearthstone related, can't we? Because it will be out the podcast will be out by then. Yeah, it is. It's another
Starting point is 01:03:14 Dad Decks special thing for December so it's pretty good. Have a great time, dude. Have a good time. Thanks, man. Thank you. Thanks so much. It's going to be nice. We're going to be in Hollywood this time so it's going to be pretty exciting. Well, say hi to Tom Cruise for me. Bette Midler. Say hi to J-Lo.
Starting point is 01:03:28 You know how we feel about J-Lo. Yeah, man. I'll see if I can track her down. Maybe I can take her shoe shopping or something. She'd like that. I want you to get a picture of you with J-Lo where you're just like pointing at her butt, like with a like, wow, look at your face. And she's sort of giving a thumbs up to the camera.
Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah. And you're dabbing. That's it that's exactly what I'm gonna do I'll do it for you I promise alright cheers
Starting point is 01:03:50 cheers y'all thanks everybody bye bye

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