Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 240: Always the Duelists Maid, Never the Duelist

Episode Date: March 17, 2022

In this one we discuss: being out for the season due to scurvy; Princess Diana, the film Spencer, and royal medicine; and the life and times of Aaron Burr. Support our fine show on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty

They need to probably update that for today. To the physically unable to perform temporarily list. Is it kind of a politically incorrect term at this point? I thought it meant like designated list. You've just been designated. Yeah. That sounds even worse, though. That sounds like a blacklist or some shit like that

like you've been targeted for some sort of crime exactly oh yeah no we're going to open the trades and see yeah Aaron Thorpe DL

you know Pondy has seen with the sore throat Comp Sex and DL, you know, pondyhassing with a sore throat, comp sex in DL. Turf toe. Turf toe. Stubbed his toe when he got out of bed this morning. That's a classic sports injury.

Terrence Ray on the DL athlete's foot. Yeah. I could do this all day. Aaron Thorpe on the DL gingivitis. Just can't play for just the most minor injury. Jaw dis or some shit like that. Yeah.

Did not play lockjaw that's scurvy half of the season was scurvy that would be so fucking funny you just pay some athlete like a hundred million dollars and he misses his first season on the new contract with like B12 deficiency

something like that pernicious anemia they go to his house to interview him and he's sitting there just sucking on lemons lemons chugging orange juice I hope to get back next season

but so god damn funny he goes to his house he's got ginger biters he's there like chugging crest and pushing around brushing after every meal and flossing got a spittoon thing at every corner of the house so he could spit it out in man yeah my grandpa had one of those and i never got to see it in action it's not like he spit in it or anything but it was just like something that sat in the house i guess maybe for like accommodations

maybe if he had because he he had like a lot of friends he was him and his boys were always just shooting the shit maybe it was for like his friends who he was making it accommodating to them yeah yeah it's like it's like i think you should i think you should yeah yeah i think it's the courteous thing to do you know to have the communal like spit bowl or spittoon or whatever i think yeah i i've flip-flopped on this point over the years but today if ask me, anybody that makes their friends go out in the cold and smoke in the wintertime should never be able to watch a Humphrey Bogart movie again. Yeah. I agree. Look how cold my man is.

He's always so cold. Smoking in the cold. I was just thinking about this. You know how dudes carry around plastic bottles to spit their dip in? Obviously, 100, 150 years ago, they didn't have plastic bottles. So did all of them carry around those big spit cans? Like it just around their neck? Big moonshine jug with three X's on it to spit in.

Oh, shit. I wonder if there's a hipster way way to dip you know what i mean like like your spit can is like some obscure fucking like craft beer or like i don't know it's like some sort of receptacle you could buy urban outfitters or some shit like that yeah yeah concerning for the discerning dipper well they do have those those things that you can wear around your neck. It's like a bullet, and you can put Coke in it. I guess you could just have a receptacle like that. Just disgusting.

You walk around, it's just swish and dip split around in it. Looking like old coffee or some shit like that. Did y'all ever dip? I dipped for about like four or five years and it was disgusting i think about that now i'm like god why did anybody ever kiss me i feel like everyone in my family dips everyone's just dipping i did for a little bit i did for a little bit because i had a roommate uh who used to and he smoked cigarettes too but he used to dip his first time i ever did it and man it was like just the feeling of that numbing feeling and kind of like you know you

smoke a cigarette you feel the nicotine but with the dip i don't know i guess it hits so much quicker because it gets absorbed in your blood and shit like that man i'm gonna tell y'all something that shit a motherfucker that just starts dipping for the first time like i'll just tell you this straight up i can drink eight beers and and drive by order of magnitude better than i can with like first time putting a dip in yeah yeah it's a it's a next level head change the first couple like first yeah couple weeks or months you do it it really is man it makes me feel like i'm like i don't know like having like hot flashes or some shit, man. I can't explain it. It makes you so like weak kind of feeling, you know what I mean?

Like that's what they're going to, that's what they're going to do in the future. Instead of anesthesia, they're just going to like pack your lip with some red man before you go in for a major surgery. But the thing with dip is that you're supposed to like be manly you know what i'm saying like why you're dipping you know but like i'm dying inside like cringing like trying to hold it together you know because i'm about to pass out from this shit i started dipping my senior year of high school i was never guys on the lifeguard stand i was a lifeguard last bird pool and some

of the older guys that were lifeguards there that were like you know college guys would come in the summertime they're like here you want to dip and i was like oh man it's gross like oh come here quit being a pussy and all that stuff i was on the stand when i put that in and they were just standing there watching me just giggling i was like what are they laughing about and then when i stood up i thought i was gonna fall face first into the three foot i was like oh shit i went got down to go take a piss and i had to put both my hands on the wall to like hold hold myself up at the urinal there just fucking slam for their leg laughing their ass off how old were you i well i guess probably 18 something

like that yeah just 18 year old tom i wish i could have known 18 year old Tom. You know, I was a pure dumbass. I used to go to physical therapy here when my ankles were all fucked up. And this woman that works there, she one day got to asking me about like what I did and everything. It's like, well,

I've got this podcast with this guy, Tom. And she was like, Tom Sexton. And I guess she had gone to high school with you. She was like, Tom Sexton. I guess she had gone to high school with you. She was like, he was always so funny. No, it's like, he's still pretty funny. Still pretty funny. Still got it. It checks out.

I think it's funny that David Foster Wallace dipped. Did he really? He did. And also, he wrote a whole book and i don't know if we would consider could consider this or should consider this problematic but he wrote like a whole book about rap like linguistics in rap like i took the fine rappers yeah mark uh forget wait what he wrote a book on rap yeah and i and i and it's like sort of cited in some linguistics courses because i took a linguistics course in college and that book was

cited it's kind of like an academic thing like look at like linguistic like a like rhetorical styles and stuff like that and like rap or something like that i don't know this is like the paragon of like white male authors like whenever anybody's doing like the joke or whatever they always point to dave foster wallace and i had no idea he wrote a book about rap that's amazing yeah yeah uh it's funny because i was uh i mean this is uh if dimitri and caled are listening close your ears i'm ashamed to admit this in front of you guys. But the guy that taught me TM back when I was desperate for mental health

interventions played was a college teammate at Amherst of David Foster Wallace's. And I was like, yeah, I was like, was he good? You know, I always read like he was like this. And he kind of looked at me. He's like, well, he's all right. He was that good. He kind of embellished his abilities, I guess, in tennis,

because that was one of the things he really prided himself on, maybe. He was too fucked up on dip. You can't play that. Can't keep it between lines when you're fucked up on dip. Yeah, that is, you imagine, I think read i forget who said it but can you imagine like you're a student at what he teach at pomona college california i think so imagine going to office hours and here's david foster wallace like the most serious like prodigiously talented or you know like literary man of his time and he just got like a fucking pepsi bottle that he's like

spitting into while you're doing office hours and you're like what the fuck i think it's funny to think about what sports you can play with dip with dip in and which ones you can't like you could play baseball with dip but like playing tennis with dip like you're gonna get that like you would swallow that shit and choke on it you know what i mean like it's like and in tennis you only wear bright colored clothes why do they do that tom why does no tennis players wear dark colored clothes why are they always wearing bright clothes there's there's different conventions a different term and at wimbledon no surprise you can only wear white really but wait wasn't it agassi though that kind of broke the mold yeah right yeah yeah so yeah thorpe's a sneakerhead so he knows it's like agassi came with like all the bright you know

day glow type shit and then that just kind of became the norm after that yeah yeah yeah trailblazer man did they try to like find him for it or anything what's the war he tried to play he tried to play wimbledon and cut off gene shorts and then i think they were like not i think he went on to win anyway i can't remember if they allowed him or not or may i forget now but i don't know the lore of tennis you know like i know like the lore of football and baseball and basketball for the most parts but like tennis like rod laver i know that name what what is right because you you like you like dfw and he about 80 what he wrote about it was

before we get too far away from the tennis question there was an interesting thing going around earlier did you see where the uh the all england lawn tennis association is trying to ban daniel medvedev from playing in wimbledon unless he like publicly renounces vladimir putin boy bro are you serious holy shit what the fuck man is that not the most half-assed thing you've ever heard of the number one player in the world and he can't play in like the most storied tournament unless he takes some weird anti-putin omerta in front of like the fucking hunchback corpse that is the queen oh my fucking god man these people are getting ridiculous she's about to die right no she's been dead for like six months now man i swear damn see all these haters

i've i've kept quiet on this because i have I have learned never to make a prediction and it's going to come it's going to turn out that she's still alive and everybody's going to have to be humbled again and they'll be like what damn we thought she was dead but we're wrong we were wrong I guess I just

have no conception of it just because I'm an American but like I just don't understand the whole, like we love the queen shit. Yeah. I just don't get it. I mean, whatever. I mean, my godmother's from, uh, she was born in Jamaica, but moved to the UK to England when she was a kid. So she has like a lot of like reverence for the royal family so at her house she still has probably like these commemoration plates of the royal family you know

what i mean and it would always like freak me out man because i'd be like yo y'all are not british but i didn't was a kid i didn't really get it you know they had moved there from jamaica i was like why are you like worshiping this old white lady like i don't understand you got jesus right there like you got to do the queen too man like i don't get it there are better commemorative plates to have indeed indeed i mean i say that but like motherfuckers here love the royals too so it's it's a thing yeah yeah like people watch the wedding that's true tons of people do probably more people here watch the wedding than there man uh well goddamn princess diana died my my sister was glued

to the tv for 72 hours watching all the coverage about it yeah damn yeah you know it's funny they just made a movie about her and another one kristen stewart plays her but have you not heard of it it's oh dude what is it called out of all people they got like the sullen vampire girl to play like the one of the most beloved like women of all time that's pretty funny that damn um what is the name of it spencer all right so i watched it thinking that i like went into it i don't know anything about princess diana and i went into it thinking like man like you know this is kind of a weird thing this is like i'm kind of intrigued by this like she died i remember my mom being like man like you know this is kind of a weird thing this is like i'm kind of intrigued by this like she died i remember my mom being like really like oh what the fuck happened what is this

um and i remember being affecting a lot of people but as those like oh like well however she died is probably kind of like maybe there's a conspiracy angle here or something right um and so i like watched that movie well there is there is a very insane all right she was in the car with dodie alfayed who was uh fucking uh jamal kashogi's great uh uncle that was the artist for real oh okay. It was his nephew or something. He's in that Khashoggi clan. What? I'm not sure what their relation is. But they were related, though. He was maybe Egyptian.

I think they're Saudi. But they're cousins or somehow. About to get me opening up a wiki hole after this, man. Doty Faye. Piecing this together with the Hardy boys. We're going to figure it out

on the podcast. They've ridden again. Figure out who killed Princess Diana. What was Jamal Khashoggi's uncle that was like he's the one that sold the boat, the Lady Gislaine to Robert Maxwell or whatever. We're the tardy boys we're just always

the tardy boys all right we solved the mysteries after everybody else has already picked them apart and came to a consensus usually wrong us not late ed rog The tardy boys mystery. That's real good. Dodie Fiat. So he was like woven into the whole Khashoggi thing, huh? Adnan Khashoggi was his uncle, I think, or cousin or something. Fiat's father has claimed that the couple were executed by MI6 agents. Fayed's former spokesman, Michael Cole,

has claimed that the couple had become engaged before their deaths. So wait, so like, well, that's the thing. Like, so I watched this movie expecting it to kind of get into this. I was like, all right, like, you know, I'll get into it. Like, I'm open minded. We'll see. This movie had none of that. It wasn't about any of that. It was about like three months.

It was about like two weeks of her life. Honestly, it might have been like two days. It was just a very like small portion of her life, like right before she realizes she's about to get divorced. And if I had known that going into it, I don't know. I might have liked it, but it felt like maybe they filmed it during the early pandemic because no two actors were in the same room together. Like every single shot was just a person speaking into a camera. It was it's I hated it.

But did they have extras? Did they have like extras where you could tell? Like because that's one thing I was kind of looking for when stuff was being filmed during the pandemic. I was like, okay, I'm sure everyone has to get tested in order to be an extra in the film. But you know what I mean? Films make some of these motherfuckers like camera fodder.

We'll keep our stars healthy. We'll let these poor-ass doubles get COVID. Yeah, you don't need to get tested. You're good. You're good. Imagine raising all this money. You're going to make this movie and then you have to like do a half ass version where it's just like single camera shots. No two actors in the room together.

Bared as hell. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just like God, this was not my vision, but this is what we have to do. So we have to do. Did she at least get some big fits off in that movie? Yeah, I guess she looks pretty good. I don't. Princess Diana's for for whatever you think about the Royals.

I have to say she got some big fits off in her time. People. Yeah, man. Well, I was asking my address. I was asking my girl i was asking my girlfriend i was like well you know what what about it is because like to me it's just like she just maybe it's that look like she originated that look i guess is that what it is yeah she popular popular popularized it i guess especially with the royal family when they were all dressing like i mean i don't know like 18th century like fucking handmaidens or some shit i don't fucking know man you know what i mean like she she made it stylish to be a royal you know they're wearing powdered wigs and shit and bodies and shit like

that yeah well she would wear like she would wear like i would say she's probably the pioneer of the athleisure thing yeah she would like she would like wear a blazer with like a philadelphia eagles sweatshirt shit like that but look good at it you know that type of thing i thought when you said athleisure you were talking about like lulu lemon type of shit but you're talking about like yeah like wearing a blazer like athletic gear with like a little more preppier dressier stuff well they they didn't make her look very cool in this movie and this is part of why i didn't really like it like every single scene with her was like she was delivering like a soliloquy like a monologue there was no acting in this movie it was very like they shot it like you were supposed to draw the conclusion that two characters were acting but like i said very few of the movie has two more than one person in a room is she just monologuing like lamenting the fact she married

a man with some weird familial fever that caused his fingers to look like fucking sausage casings it's like dear diary i can no longer see Charles naked. This man looks like his other cousin, William the Unfortunate of the House of Motbat. This man has a cock that looks like Toucan Sam's snout, but small. Small and heartyy the hearty exterior his cock looks like a baby bird's beak it's so bizarre

I'm thankful that those loins have given me my two beautiful boys but I can no longer do this. I will now marry Dodi Al-Fayed, the nephew of international arms dealer at Nankeshoggi. Bad times don't last, but bad guys do in the bedroom. There is probably an entire field of medical knowledge that we don't even know about that like the human body is capable of doing yeah that we don't we

don't can't even conceive of just grotesqueries deformities like what you don't know is all this the how every man male member of the house of windsor has a baculum they're just so inbred they start developing weird like possum tails and shit like that the reason you've never seen Charles out of his garb is because he actually has a prehensile tail yeah

it's also sensitive to sunlight oh man yeah it's got vitiligo oh my god dude oh shit that's too good dude well

it made me kind of like spiral I was like stoned obviously but like I kind of spiraled about it because it really makes me nervous that like people and obviously i'm just kind of being a crank about this making an issue where there probably isn't one but it does kind of make me nervous that like filmmaking will just start to become that like people already hate being around each other. And like the pandemic kind of made everybody even more siloed and dependent on the screen. So like, well, movies just I mean, because like I feel like those Marvel movies are just cut and paste at this point.

Right. Like, yeah, just people like people are actually interacting with each other it's just like two people in like a green suit in a green room like 20 feet away from each other yeah i just like you know i don't know i was probably i'm probably making something out of nothing but this movie did feel just like all right we're gonna shoot all your scenes in an afternoon you know and because like you don't have to work with anybody's schedule or like you know shooting so many different cuts and stuff like it's just more efficient profit wise for them to make movies that way i don't know but especially if you get like when you were saying i was thinking about like it's always a problem i guess when you have a

movie with like it's like a biopic with an actor that's playing somebody who's almost larger than life you know what i mean yes because every scene that they're in, I'm thinking of like the Judas and the Black Messiah, where I think Daniel Kaluuya played Fred Hampton. And I mean, he was great in the role. Right. But it's like he was he was character acting. I mean, like it wasn't a real person. It felt like it really felt like it was amazing because every time he was on screen, his presence his gravitas was like just engrossing but it was like kind of like where you're saying kirsten stewart where i'm sure she just felt like oh this is the way diana would speak and be as a person instead of like her as an actual human being you know what i'm saying yeah that's that's exactly what it was at no point did i like since like the movie had no soul it had no personality it was like robots interacting with each other kind of well it's also

british people too to be fair so that would that would make sense yeah true there's a culture divide but i don't know it was just kind of strange it was just kind of strange um yeah i mean because like yeah it kind of felt like every scene was like yeah like the novelty of it yeah kristen seward is princess dana and maybe that was the point like maybe there was some kind of like meta commentary there but it just didn't earn it the film did not if that was the point the film didn't earn earn it in my opinion it didn't get into any of the uh and they didn't get into any of the uh the conspiracy type shit with the uh that's lame man why would i watch a diana movie if i don't want

to see the conspiracy shit man i would like i wanted to see some titties i don't want to just i want to see a fucking car fucking driven into the side of a puddle then we get to see dodie alfayette's cock just like a dirt diggler prosthesis right like you made a princess diana movie and no one gets like capped like what the fuck man oh shit did they have her like walking through like a kenyan village or something like that i bet they did some shit like that dude she just self-harmed like the whole movie that was the movie and I was like I feel like they didn't give her any agency it's like people who are mentally ill are also people like

the the mental illness does not just be the thing about them exactly that's not just who they are yeah they're also complex people with other things in their life. But like at the same time, I didn't know the premise going in. So like if I had known it going in, I probably would have given it more. But like I said, I expected explosions, car chase scenes. I think that's that's the perfect movie for a car chase scene. Like in the tunnel. Yeah. Whether it be a chase by the paparazzi. That shit would be dope for a car chasing. Like in the tunnel? Yeah, where they're being chased by the paparazzi. That shit would be dope as hell, man.

Fucking get Michael Bay to do that shit, man. They could did some like metaverse shit where they're going to the tunnel and then when like it camera comes out the other side, they're in OJ's Bronco and they're like, what? What the fuck?

Exactly. bronco and they're like what the fuck exactly then they just cuff and stuff Diana of Windsor for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson Diana going through the tunnel bronco white bronco coming out the other side Jesus Christ that's fucking funny eventually those cinematic universes will

merge the diana and uh oj simpson cinematic universe yeah i feel like that's just the 90s extended universe man cinematic universe that's what that'd be we just don't even have like cultural icons that are that cool anymore like this fucking like pete davidson kim kardashian stuff like this is so fucking boring uh we don't have anybody we don't have anybody driving down a highway in a bronco at 100 miles an hour have to be accused of murder to somebody yeah no you what you have is a very public spad about like uh one parent won't let the other one go to church with their father. Right.

Just now. Shit. Like I want to like if they're going to do something, I don't want violence, but I want like old school fisticuffs. Downtown Los Angeles front of like Capitol Records or something. Just eating Kanye, just duking it out. And then like they get pulled off of each other after a shoving match then that's that you know give me something it used to happen like you know uh aaron burr and alexander hamilton those two were just eventually

just like nah let's just fucking do this let's fuck it out they just had beef for so long and then they were like all right let's just fucking do this no's fuck it out they just had beef for so long and then they were like all right let's just fucking do this no man you see though everybody i think because the pandemic and like everything that happened everybody is like itching for celebrity drama now you know so this is the first like red meat that we've had in like a while you know there's something for people to look forward to again you know, you're right. Kanye West is saying some wild shit again. You know, we have a new skinny tattooed white boy slaying

everything in his path in the name of Pete Davidson. Dude, you know what's so fucking ridiculous about what's so ridiculous about America is that even like probably we've only had like really two interesting leaders like with some interesting backstories

but we could have had one aaron burr like if we would have had an aaron burr early on you know what i mean but they fucking railroaded his ass they drove him out of town how radically different you think the country would have been under if aaron burr would have had the reins I think that he was he was an abolitionist right maybe not I do know that he he just I do know that he like dropped Alexander Hamilton

and was like I gotta get the fuck out of there I just caught a body god damn and that was he caught a body at God damn. And that was, he caught a body at a time when like the guns were about like, uh, you know, like having a Derringer pistol with a fucking, like,

you know, like they don't put the red beam on, but it's like a laser pointer. Like you'd chase a cat with like, put that on and hit him with Derringer one time and like put a weld on him. And he struck a mortal blow with a goddamn musket you know what i mean usually you didn't die of the must the impact you died of

the infection that came like a couple days later i think what happened i don't think that like dude it's been so long i read that gore vididal book about him like 15 years ago, probably 10 years ago. And like, I think the reason he got because he went on the run, I think he was like impeached from vice presidents and like like accused of treason or conspiracy and i think it's because he was like he had like these like napoleon ambitions of like you know helping mexico like take over the united states and like oh hell yeah something like that or maybe the french i'm fucking this way up but it was something like it was like something man how are you gonna drop the guy that's on the 20 bill i think he was on the 20 i fucked it he is on the 20 right i think so right and the guy that's on the $20 bill? I think he was on the 20. I fucked this up. He is on the 20, right?

I think so. Right. And the guy they wrote that fucking play about and everything. And all you're going to be remembered in history for is that goddamn milk commercial. Where the guy's got the mouth full of cookies, the arm ball, and the radio announcer can't hear him. I got your lasting legacy. And you did some cool shit. You dropped fucking Hamilton.

It's pretty tough. God damn, man. I think, though, that he... I mean, it is telling that... I think he felt kind of bad about it. About dropping Hamilton? I think he did. I think he did i think he i don't think he was like totally

thrilled like i don't i don't know if like back then i think that like duels could end any number of ways and like yeah i don't know if like if you just managed to hit someone and it grazed them if it was over or like i don't know if you really know i've also there was something called code duello i think the french or the italians or spanish somebody drew up the official rules and that was the that was the sanctioning body of the duel listen man i'm under the impression that like like as in a fist fight where nobody wants to throw the first punch nobody even wants to really get in a fight nobody wants to do that if you want to get in a fight you hit somebody you don't square up you don't know what i'm saying you don't do a standoff nobody really wants to be the duel yeah exactly you don't do that come on

come on come on you see nobody nobody wants to do the standoff they were probably both terrified i ought to why i ought to yeah but yeah none of they probably neither of them wanted that yo burr probably fired it was like damn i killed the man and that was their beef i want to know like dude it's it's probably over some pussy now i can't remember i think it probably yeah i think actually it was because it wasn't like like Hamilton running roughshod or something like that? Running roughshod? Oh, God.

Let's see. Hamilton burr beef. Just tell me one sentence. Somebody had Googled that before. What was the beef between these two? Wait, is the play Hamilton about the beef between burr and Hamilton? I think it may be. It'd have to be like the last scene

because my man did not have a scene after that one. There's no sequel. Yeah, there's a reason there's not a Hamilton 2. Because Burr went blah, blah, dropped the gun. Oh, that's just Sadoway. Man, it's a classic. it was a classic blood feud wow they just they had just developed resentment for one another over the years and it just kind of tensions rose god damn so wait so back in the day like that's so it really was like you just

had a problem with a man and you just wanted to duel him and kill him dog it was legal it says hamilton had been the second in several duels although never the duelist himself but he was involved in more than a dozen affairs of honor including including notable disputes with william gordon in 1779 adonis Burke in 1790, John Francis Mercer in 92 and 93, 1792, 1793. James Nicholson, 1795, James Monroe in 1797. And get this, a guy named George Clinton in 1804. If it'd been the George Clinton,

he's for sure getting dropped. He'd drop for sure. God damn. He couldn't handle the funk. Aaron Burr was like the master of beef, man. But like if he's the second, does that mean like he just got a proxy to fight all of his duels for him? Yeah.

What does that mean? Second, because I would think second in the duel means you lose it because you die. You know what I'm saying? Like you don't come second place in a duel, you know? No, it's like I think what it is is back then this is just from watching barry linden like the second in a duel is the person who brings the gun out and they oh that's right they load it and stuff for you and because like you gotta so you sit there like like you know so he was like the pit crew for the duelists you were the yeah it's like

a caddy he'd like a caddy for like golf so like when burr stepped up and challenged him to his own duel he was like well i've been a party to these many times how hard can it really be always the second duelist never the duelist always the duelist made never the duelist until that one time that one time that one time oh my god like fucking for the first time ever losing your virginity getting pregnant i'm sorry dueling fucking rules in the early morning of july 11th 1804 burr and hamilton departed from manhattan by separate boats and rode across the hudson river to a spot called the heights and we hawk in new jersey a popular dueling ground like where you go at like a lover's lane but for dueling yeah exactly this is like the early 1800s version of meet me in the walmart parking lot like meet me under the oak tree or some

like that man but isn't it wow you're rolling across the goddamn you're rolling across the goddamn hudson and the the thought has to be in your mind. One of us might not be coming back. Yeah. What if this is not making it back across the Hudson? Right. I think it's I think it was kind of like, yeah, it was a rivalry. You're right. But it was also like business interests.

No, it's always a business interest, too. It's always pussy and business. Hamilton details the many charges he has against Burr in a more extensive letter written shortly afterwards, calling him a profligate, a voluptuary in the extreme, accusing him of corruptly serving the interests of the Holland Land Company while a member of the legislature, criticizing his military commission and accusing him of resigning it under false pretenses and many more serious accusations. He was a profligate, a voluptuary in the. What profligate a voluptuary in the what the fuck is a voluptuary man yeah i swear insults back then were amazing though yeah dost thou a voluptuary just making shit up who was like you remember tiger woods had that had that catty fluff uh-huh who who was the who was the fluff of the duelist seconds you know like who was like the guy you wanted to like stuff in your gunpowder and shit you know oh the the the uh the best second duelist yeah who was the mike fluff cowan of cowans of dual of dual of dualist seconds

actually that's who i want to know that's a good point that we don't know man that's fucked up that that person's role in history has been forgotten man that's fucked up damn hamilton important role right there to be uh doing that shit whatever they do with the the musket shit whatever that motion is yeah it is filling up. Filling up with powder. Yeah, exactly. Like churning butter. It's like... You can see them doing it with like a stone cold face, just like...

Yeah. Jeffrey, you pack my pistol so well. I want you to be my second again. You'll be my second, Jeffrey. Oh, man. Burr hamilton first came into public opposition during the presidential election of 1800 burr ran for president on the democratic republican ticket with thomas jefferson against john adams um the shit back then was wild that like if you lost you would be the vice president like yeah even if you were there even if you were the opposing party oh yeah yeah yeah i love those

arcane rules i i have think government should go back to some version of that i mean why not we should joe biden absolutely would not be the president Joe Biden absolutely would not be the president under those terms. He would not be. I don't know. You think so? I think he would have been discarded physically. He would be on the DL for scurvy.

They would have put about the pastor. Yeah. I have to assume, though, that Washington, as grotesque as Biden is, I have to assume that like George Washington and those dudes were pretty fucking gross. Oh, man, if you imagine if you saw like a high definition zoomed up like 80, 80, 80 beats, like 4K type of shit. Maricos vase and like crust everywhere and just pale like puffy fucking skin nah man i'm good on that shit dude you know like a mummy just pulled freshly out of the bog yeah for sure they all had syphilis too man and like wore diapers so um but it's funny though that it's funny that like judges in england still wear powdered wigs that i appreciate that that tradition has persisted

that they've kept it intact like that like what like that that means that multiple decisions in the past they're like they were like we've been doing this wig thing a little too long now don't you think like yeah and people were actually debating about it no no we should keep it going boys it's often said it's often said don't meet your heroes and in this case i guess don't dig too far because aaron burr was the founder of jp morgan chase no for real he founded it as chase as as the manhattan company which became chase manhattan bank which became jp man but was he he was like this is why they say don't have heroes yeah you're right but he was like a suffragist right i think he believed women should vote we gotta give it

we gotta hand that to him yeah we gotta we gotta judge the man on balance they should be able to vote but probably not open bank accounts at his bank probably i think they should vote i just don't think that they should hold an account at manhattan company we're taking an incrementalist approach here that's the best one step at a time slippery slope slippery slope burr was like a tammany hall dude damn dog wait tammany hall was a thing back then i thought that was like a like 100 years later later too but apparently not apparently it went back really far yeah damn man yo every time i'm like learning stuff like

this i'm just i'm just reminded of like how much i don't know shit about history i i never learned this really i don't i tried several times but it just didn't really stick like something about american history i've kind of had a hard time like i guess all history i just don't i guess i probably smoked too much weed to remember all of the yeah for real like my my whatever part of my brain is there for like keeping like long-term memories and shit i think i'm like frizzle that out man i i didn't really learn anything about how the world really worked about 2007 that's about really when i started like that's fair learning some facts yeah yeah for that man

i was like you gotta understand what you're taught in kentucky though you know what i mean it's like you know it's like revisionist history about the civil war and every damn thing else the war of northern aggression i mean which they still call it that down here man which sounds as a northerner as a native northerner that just sounds weird as fuck to me i'm just like forget the whole slavery thing i know that but just like yo what did we do to y'all like what do you mean northern aggression yeah i do shit to you usually some sort of 84 year old segregationist that's been in there since he was like you know eligible to run and he's like yeah the great war of yankee aggression i shut the fuck up, Howard Baker Jr.

I'm trying to figure out why he was exiled. I guess it was because... You been killing a man? I guess so. God damn, son. Hamilton shot missed. Burr's bullet entered Hamilton's abdomen above his right hip piercing hamilton's liver and spine hamilton was evacuated to the manhattan home of a friend william bayard jr where he and his family received visitors including bishop benjamin moore

who gave hamilton holy communion burr was charged with multiple crimes including murder wait hold up how you gonna charge him with murder but the duel isn't illegal by it's you know what i'm saying like if dual is illegal it's the risk you take aaron that's the risk according to code duello the official rules governing it i think intent comes to play into play okay okay so he could just say like i didn't mean to kill him your honor like i think what happened is hamilton inadvertently like shot his second when he was shot oh somebody else got popped during that scuffle pulling shady his arm flies off there's a whole section called Hamilton's

intentions and Burr's intentions let's kill this man let's say yo oh my god I don't think he popped him a guy named

Pendleton. It might have been his second. No first name, just Pendleton the second. I think Pendleton, Mr. Pendleton. God, this is I should have did the reading. This is this is the problem with podcasting on the fly. You find an interesting detail, but you take it totally out of context. Okay, here's what happened. Judge Nathaniel Pendleton was Hamilton's second.

And what Hamilton would claim in the moments before he died was that Pendleton knows I didn't mean to fire at him. So I think what happened was Burr pulled the upper out, popped him in the second and third ribs that really ricocheted up and hit him in the liver and esophagus. They dropped him. And then when that happened, he was like, he dropped the gun. And then shot at a second.

I don't know if it's not clear if he hit a second or not. God damn. And then his second gun flies and then it fires and hits burr in the back of the head and that's how burr dies bounce off like an oak tree or something like that they're like what happened here god my god my, what happened? Yeah, I think what happened was I think he tried to overthrow the government. I think he tried to like lead a coup against the American government or something. Where Amber Bird did.

Yeah, like I think he kind of like went off the rails a little bit and like ran off to like the Spanish territory and like tried tried to i think i think he may have tried to convince them or maybe oh to overthrow the united states right right right right well this is still about 40 years before uh das capital comes out right yeah probably yeah so yeah this is like in the late 1790s that's uh so you know i don't know i mean maybe he had a little streak of bolshevism in it yeah yeah i think what's i may yeah i don't know man he i mean somebody's gonna hear that and just say oh well you don't know what the fuck you're talking about and that's true and you're correct i know you don't know what the fuck we're talking about podcasting's actually it's like screenwriting when you're too authentic it just sucks that's a good point that's actually a real good point

that is a good point Burr lived in self post exile from 1808 to 1812 passing most of this period in England where he occupied this is years after he got in trouble for trying to overthrow the government but still got away with it, though.

Yeah, no, it was fine. It was true. He became a good friend, even confidant, of the English utilitarian philosopher Jeremy Bentham, and on occasion lived at Bentham's home. Wasn't Bentham kind of like an early socialist? Utarian? What is it? Utarian?

Utilitarian? That sounds sus. Jesus. It does. Youilitarian. That sounds sus. Jesus. It does. You're right. You're right. Good point, Aaron. What the fuck is that?

I don't know about that word. Like some proto-fascist shit. I don't know what that is. You're probably right. Let's see. It's the damnedest thing that Burr had to live in exile and then like jeff davis just waltzed back to kentucky became the president of fucking transatlantic university after the goddamn civil war yo that's a good point it's a good point i think what he he tried to

uh do a conquest of me. So he was problematic. He was a little. Before you said he was trying to save Mexico. He tried. He's kind of tried to do like a Putin thing. He was going to annex the Baja, California, the peninsula there. He wanted oceanfront property in Arizona is all he wanted. I like how we went from, man, he tried to liberate Mexico to like,

you dig a little deeper. It's like, yeah, well, maybe I wasn't as intense. Not quite. This is why people like anything you hear in this podcast, man, take it with the greatest soul, man. Because if you had stopped listening and didn't hear us hear that correction, you wouldn't know Aaron Burr was an early proto-Marxist. At least we're honest, okay?

We're just calling balls and strikes. All right. This is truly a test case for you. You're only as good as your information he he like went around europe soliciting money for a conquest of mexico uh and napoleon kicked him out of france napoleon even napoleon was like yo you got to chill out the empire shit god no no here's what it was he was ordered out of he was ordered out of england and napoleon refused to receive him however one of his ministers held an interview

concerning burr's goals for spanish florida or the possessions in the caribbean i think he just wanted some territory i think he like kind of had like a he kind of did maybe have a napoleon complex or something he was like yeah i'm pretty sure if they just made him a governor of like some small caribbean island like he would have I'm pretty sure if they just made him a governor of like some small Caribbean Island, like he would have been good, man. Yeah.

He would just been like run around Antigua, like Yosemite Sam, blasting six years. Like 18 central sandals, commercial, some shit like that. It's hard to get a read. Aaron Byrne,

like an early sandals. Not only did he, not only did he find JPMorgan Chase he found sandals it's like Byrne goes down a giant water slide shooting off six shooters in each hand everything I'm the Viceroy of Antigua now

wearing like a coconut as a hat or some shit like that just everywhere there's like propaganda immortalized and alexander hamilton has a huge pussy i dropped that bitch in one shot like there's a small crimson island that thinks that hamilton was like a bitch ass dude they've just been taught through generations from Harry Bird. It's Mark Astrick. You mark as tricks. Yo, I still be curious. Just going down that water slide. Drinking a pina colada. Sunscreen on his nose. Just a water slide.

Over the bridge of his nose. I can't handle it. Still got the powdered wig on too? Yes. Oh, shit. Oh, that shit killed me, bro. I think I popped another lung, goddamn. Oh, shit.

Well, I guess he eventually made it back to to america and just started a banking empire wait hold up so he didn't die so he didn't die in like obscurity or poverty like he died like okay yeah the burr book that i read it's like one of those gorvadoll historical fiction books where he like tells where he tells it like first person. Yeah, but it's like creative non it's like creative nonfiction type of show, right? And so like it's told from the point of view of like him as an older man, like he's he's he's like telling the story of his life to his like amanuensis, you know? incest you know uh and uh and so yeah that but like and i also read his lincoln one and that shit was pretty good too it was a good yeah i i like gorbadov man i've never read any of his

shit man i read his one about julian he was like a fourth century roman emperor or some shit um it was pretty tight it was pretty good dude i just know that documentary man is it something amnesia the united states in amnesia some shit like that that's kind of a funny title it's like man we're not the united states of america we're getting out of states of amnesia bro yeah that sounds like some shit that you come up in with a like college dorm with like bob marley like a bob marley like flag and some shit on the wall yeah yeah periodic table of sex positions i briefly i briefly lived with uh one summer with uh former nba player kenneth farid and he was

he was like a devout muslim like he would. He had this beautiful, ornate prayer rug hanging on the wall. And on either side was a Stewie Griffin poster. I forget what it said. But on the other side of that beautiful, ornate prayer rug was the periodic table of six positions that glowed in the dark. It glowed in the dark. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah.

Shout out Kenny, wherever you're at, man. at man thinking ahead man looking out for your future self all right it's fucking good yeah that's it um oh shit well damn we didn't even have to talk about anything this week hell yeah i talked about aaron burr for an hour we thought we made a whole hour without having to address any of the major events in the world without having to address any of the horrible things going on i'm gonna go ahead and tell you aaron burr in a sandals commercial yeah damn just like the opening it's like you see the bottom of a shower like one of those showers like with wooden planks on the beach and like water is running down and washing the sand off you're like who is this who's taking a shower and the door opens and out steps with his powder wig. Yeah. Still got the pistol that he shot Hamilton with.

Yes, his holster is draped over the top of the shower door. He's just walking around the resort. And all you see is in a pair of flip flops. He steps on a pop top and it blows out his flip-flop and the camera pans up you see that white wig and then he's twirling that pistol yeah he's like a cowboy but his boots are the sandals so on the back of them there are spurs he's got spurs when he connected to his flip-flops i mean it's a classic conceit of like 80s comedies but it would be hilarious to drop aaron burr in like a margaritaville franchise in like daytona beach or something just to see what it'd be like oh my god dude pretty comprehensively done oh shit um oh man damn was there even anything to discuss this week

nothing we're gonna nothing we're gonna figure out today nothing we're gonna add any value to hell no before i make some people bad again man okay all right um well uh do you guys have anything you would like to throw in the mix uh i did see jared leto did an article uh with variety about being morbid i hate that motherfucker man um he got no damn right to be so weird bro he's a pretty weird he's not talented though but he's weird as hell that shit that shit's not right but uh it ain't right what was leto's statement did he say he lost his mind playing a batman character basically basically well i think the big thing about morbis the big thing about this one going around the big vampire yeah one of his assistants or

something or someone who acted with him was like he really gets in the character he really loses it god damn man yo look i love comic books i love superhero shit but like come on bro come on man you're not telling me that like somebody's losing their mind from playing like a costume like you know i'm saying like nave you know that's not happening here's the thing about people from the south which led us from bossier city louisiana which is about as bottom of the maps you can fucking get the south produces genuine freaks and weirdos still. Truly, yes. Truly just real freaks and weirdos. Atlanta is Gotham City indeed.

He's no exception. Truly, truly twisted weird individual. Well, weird individual well you know I don't really have much to say about you know I will say though

a milestone in American history happened this week we would be remiss not to mention it but they finally abolished daylight savings time uh did they i think so right or the senate voted unanimously to like do away with it but i think it has to go was it the opposite didn't they vote to like making permanent no i think i think it's like by permanent they mean we don't switch our oh okay i understand

it's like i think we go back between like standard time and daylight savings time or something oh yeah yeah you're right time taxonomy it's okay now so now we just the clock stays the same forever now i think so yeah i think that like now in january sunrise will be at like 8 45 i think something like that which is like i might be chill with that it might be fine oh yeah so you're saying yeah they uh voted to make it permanent so you're right it doesn't go back and forth now yeah this is this is how goddamn lazy i've become in the last couple years my clock uh in my car was like always an hour off and and i went a whole cycle just like accounting for that when i would see the time where now my clock's right again like i mean two clicks of a button i could rectify that but i just waited till daylight savings time so you

internalized the old time now you're an hour late to everything to everything now amazing yeah i missed the before time that that is really crazy though like i mean that's a whole other thing about the nature of time but that they just made a law that said no we're just gonna look at time this way like what are what are you talking about, man? Yeah. Like, that's insane. It's pretty crazy.

Well, also, the other big news from this week is that Whitesburg McDonald's has taken a stand and it stands with Ukraine. And... They took off horseradish or some shit like that off the menu. The owner of that McDonald's is calling for a no-fly zone. When I asked for comment, he said,

I just don't want none of them Ruskies flying over Ukraine. Flying over the beloved homeland of nobody in eastern I was kind of surprised because honestly I feel like it's one of those issues

that there's not really a clear it's one of the few issues in American life that there's not really like a clear partisan sort of divide on so you know what i mean so like i kind of assumed because like the conservatives were pretty ambivalent or what dismissive or whatever of russia over these years yeah i figured that like they probably wouldn't give a shit so i was concerned i was very surprised to see that

a lot of them did support ukraine but i guess that's because like maybe the deep state needs them to i mean it is very much yeah the military state's interest to like acquire whatever's going on in ukraine absolutely i mean and they'll talk shit about nato but they'll talk shit about nato like trump when he said like oh we're giving nato too much money and it's disproportionate compared to the other countries. But when it comes down to it, like you said, Terrence, when it comes down to like, you know, I'm saying like imperial, like, you know, like that kind of control in the area and money and shit like that. Yeah, dude, they don't care. You're right. You know, they'll speak well of NATO. They'll speak ill of NATO out one side of their mouth and then, you know, continue to be in support of it. to be in support of it.

It is weird that like, yeah, in these divisive and polarizing times, everybody has united around Ukraine. Well, just logging on to do this show today, I opened my Gmail and there's a little pop down box in the right side. It says support Ukraine relief efforts. Google will match your donation

never have received that for i mean i know it's a try anything else yeah that's been said a million times but have never received that when it's in palestinians you know have never received that when it's the people in yemen it's just very like there's nobody right like right even even like like where i live in my community and just like my circles you know i'm saying like like like black people right which i would think i would hope that black people be like yo i have no business in this shit i do not give a fuck but nah dude like they're also like yeah ukraine and i'm like dude you know there are black people in ukraine who are being treated you know i'm saying like if you if you have prioritizing concerns like i don't

know they're like a big like i think maybe sierra leonean community or something like that i forget or maybe congolese or something i can't i think so in nigerian too i mean because a lot of a lot of people i guess like students go to like medical school there's medical school there ukraine that people go to so it's like i don't know man it just seems like everybody's kind of falling in line now now everyone's like uh this is the one thing that everyone uh i guess is rallying behind you know it's kind of weird the mcdonald's thing is interesting because a friend of mine that works there sent me the owner's facebook page and in his spare time he traps beavers to uh sell their pelts for novelty wallets so you get like a beaver pelt wallet from

the guy that owns mcdonald's and i'm like the guy that does the novelty beaver pelt wallets so you get like a beaver pelt wallet from the guy that owns mcdonald's and i'm like the guy that does the novelty beaver pelt wallets really is like god this is where he's gonna put his shovel in to take a stand doing the most inhumane shit ever but yeah killing one of the cutest mammals. Harmless. I mean, I know that somebody wouldn't say that. They'd be like, you've never had to deal with a man. They eat everything. You ain't never had a beaver problem.

You ain't never had a beaver infestation. Yeah. And I have to honor that lived experience of having beaver problems. The man who's lost his home to beavers? Yes, but I'm saying they are pretty cute and they don't deserve to be killed for wallets. Yeah, poor bastard comes home and just sees a beaver in bed with his wife. Beaver just like with its arms behind its head smoking a cigarette. But a human-sized beaver. Afternoon, Dave.

Good afternoon, Dave. I was just putting some water in your wife's dish before I left. Slap her ass with his beaver tail. You've never been cucked by a beaver man no it's it's it's pretty wild i don't know i've checked out with all of it honestly know i've checked out with all of it honestly ever since i found out that some mk ultrad kid like military dropout drove two hours in a bulletproof vest to um you know swat invade a state senator's house what killing his daughter and he was 1000 convinced that russia was about to invade the ukraine and that nuclear war was imminent

and said that cia officers were chasing him around ever since then i've been like all right maybe some like more cosmic like insane forces are at work that i'm never gonna know about this or can explain or understand even though yeah right yeah man that said i'm gonna join aaron Yeah, man. That said, I'm going to join Aaron Burr in the Caribbean. Right. Wait and see what happens. Hell yeah. Oh, shit. Aaron Burr and some steel drums

playing in the background. Goddamn Thorpe, that got me. Goddamn. Alright. That's probably a good ending to go out on I think we probably should have quit before I did the cucked by a beaver bit nah leave that shit in there

I'll let it stay that shit is funny as hell just imagine a human sized beaver well you can go to patreon there is a patreon p-a-t-r-e-o-n.com slash trail billy workers party um still there still there just drop a couple quarters in the hat and walk on less than a cup of coffee man all right uh well we'll see you over there and see you next time