Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 258: 9th Generation Parasites
Episode Date: July 21, 2022We discuss some headlines from the news and then head to a landlord convention in the Midwest. It's predictably grim. Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/trillbillyworkersparty...
Transcript
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uh i'm rolling but let me make sure me adjusting my thing make sure it's bugged i'm sorry i'm late
i swear to god something fucking happens every goddamn week now right before we record i'm
dragging ass
whatever happened to the big fraternity? Whatever happened to titties on
TV?
Whatever happened to
the Branch Davidians?
We watched the
government kill dozens
of them live on TV.
Shit.
Did you ever watch that miniseries with Michael Shannon and Taylor Kitsch? I think it was.
It played.
No, I never did.
About the Branch Davidians.
Pretty good.
I meant to watch it.
Never did. I want to share something with you guys. no i never did about the branch davidians pretty good i meant to watch it never did
i i want to share something with you guys this article i saw
it was making the rounds like a week ago it's in bloomberg um i don't know what the
yeah i don't know i guess it's just like a roundup of market activity. But this guy was writing about the price of nickel.
I don't know if you guys saw this.
It's about nickel prices.
If you sell nickel futures at a price of $25,000 per ton,
and then the price of nickel futures goes up to $100,000 per ton,
then in some simple arithmetic sense,
arithmetic sense, you have lost $75,000 per ton, then in some simple arithmetic sense, you have lost $75,000 per ton.
If you sold 100 tons of nickel futures, then you have lost more than $7 million.
But if you sold 150,000 tons of futures, the math changes a bit.
It becomes nonlinear and relativistic.
If you sold 150,000 tons of nickel futures at $25,000 per ton,
and then the price goes up to $100,000,
your banks will call you up and say,
you have lost $11 billion.
Can you pay that, please?
And you will say, I would prefer not to,
and an insane series of events will happen.
Here's the insane series of events.
One, the nickel exchange will cancel a bunch of trades
and declare that actually the market price
of nickel is $48,000 per ton,
magically reversing most of your losses.
Then the exchange will
call you and say, okay, let's close you out of
that trade at $48,000 per ton.
Then you will say, no, this is
still too much money for me to lose. I prefer
not to. Then your banks will say, well,
okay, how much are you willing to lose? You will say, I would close out $0, sir, please.
Nothing would be nice.
is to go back below $30,000.
Meanwhile, we'll just lend you the money to stay in the position.
They will.
Eventually, nickel prices will go below $30,000
and you will get out of the trade at a modest loss.
If prices never go below $30,000,
then I guess your banks are very sad,
but honestly, they're pretty sad about all this anyways.
This is the white glove treatment
that only the biggest customers get.
So, I thought that was interesting.
So, you can't go broke if you're rich.
No, you can't go broke if you're big enough.
Yeah.
Sir, I'd like to wait till conditions are optimal.
This is too much of a loss for me.
Sorry, I'm going to wait till conditions are optimal
and cash out at just you know
a modest loss of the cost of a wendy's number four
oh shit yes sir mr alshan klaus it's just like thinking about like just how much money these
people have and like what to them is like a calculable loss you know right versus like people
like you and i and it's like you know these people lose a million dollars and it's like you know duck
off of water it's like water off a duck's back you know i'm saying it's like couch change for them
totally you you wake up you you find out like fuck i lost 11 million dollars in the nickel trades
today and then you go to your bank and they're like,
well, that's a problem for us too.
So how much would you like to lose?
And you just pull out a number like $30,000.
And they're like, all right, sounds good to us.
We'll front you the money.
I don't know.
It's just a fascinating example.
It sounds like a promotional thing for when you sign up
for one of those internet gambling sites. Right. a fascinating example it sounds like it sounds like a promotional thing for when you sign up for
one of those internet gambling sites right they'll give you your losses back on the first if like you
like lose a certain amount or whatever right man i've uh i've overdrafted many times many times
and i i only wish that i could call my bank and be like, hey, man, can y'all not only take off the overdraft fee, but the money that I didn't even have in my account.
Could you also like, can I negotiate this down to like maybe 35 cents or some shit like that?
You know what I mean?
Instead of like $350, please.
It is obscene.
We live in a world where they will send a pack of bloodhounds and a angry mob after you for that 30 dollars in
overdraft fees but these guys that lose billions of dollars in these fucking risky trades can just
say ah let's just reorient that a little bit i can't really i don't really want to lose that
much money uh-huh yo that's why i like bernie madoff uh the dude who uh rest in peace by the
way i think right the dude who uh you know did the pyramid
scheme or something like that the ponzi scheme the only reason he went to jail is because he
ripped off rich people man right like rich people rip off poor people everybody else all the time
and it's fine because that's the way it's supposed to work yeah yeah you start shitting where you eat
then they start acting funny and start getting all moral about it exactly birdie made off looking around like
why is it only me this reminds me so this morning i was my mom's at the hospital right now this
morning i went up there to kind of help her do some things and uh the phlebotomist and one of
the nurses were there and one of them made the comment like man can these rooms get any smaller
you think because we were just like all in there,
like shuffling around, you know,
trying to make space for one another.
And she's like, yeah, they can actually, I think.
And she goes, I know they can get bigger.
They've got the whole wing with the VIP rooms.
And I'm thinking to myself,
like, in a just society,
every room would be a VIP room room you know what i mean yeah like every
every plane would be like first class and not economy you know what i'm saying right isn't that
but it's like grotesque that like at the health care system there's vip rooms you know what i
mean god damn that is so you can't even die with dignity. And they call them that. Yeah, right?
Like, change the name at least and don't let us know about their existence.
God damn it.
You know what made me think, too?
I mean, like, I mean, I guess this.
No, no, this doesn't make sense.
When my dad had the stroke, they got a stroke center at Grady Hospital down here in Atlanta.
And it is one of the most, like, the line like cutting edge sort of uh stroke centers in
the country you know and it's because like you know having a stroke is a serious illness you
know yeah but then like you know every other like ward of the hospital like trauma and shit i'm not
saying that these aren't also like um you know well equipped but they're just not giving the
money right obviously that you know that the stroke center does so it's kind of like man what
if everybody uh what if we treated uh you know all uh all people that have health issues the same you know
yeah like you say it tom i want to be the stroke the stroke's tricky because every second counts
with that but you know but still it's like yeah like why do we have to like
like why does the heart center have to be a piece of shit? You know what I mean? But the other center, yeah.
I'm going to be the director of the stroke center.
That's right.
You're going to be the director?
I'm the director.
I started to actually send y'all a funny little clip about that.
The stroke center.
Because UofL is like the stroke, they had like this big sign that said, like, experts in stroke.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And I started to send that to them.
I'd be the stroke i'd be the stroke daddy
if i was the executive director of the stroke center i'd be i'd make them all call me stroke
daddy yeah i'd go apply for a job that's i'm sorry sir you're grossly underqualified
your stroke need a little work your stroke needs a little work. You're lipping there, man. Get back into it.
Well, let's see.
Hot off the presses.
We got Jim Harbour.
Michigan's Jim Harbour.
Never known how to say his last name.
Harbour.
Football coach?
Football coach.
Head football coach.
Harbour.
Hardball.
He spoke at a charity dinner over the weekend.
He spoke out in support of the anti-abortion movement.
I really loved his comments.
I just wanted to read them.
Speaking at a fundraiser hosted by Plymouth's Right to Life.
I really like that name, Plymouth.
It's like the implication that, it's like the Plymouth Right to Life. I really like that name, Plymouth.
It's like the implication that,
it's like the Plymouth Rock.
Like this nation was founded on the right to life.
It's like this nation that was famously genocidal,
it was founded on, yeah, pro-life, definitely.
Pro-life, yeah.
Making sure that people live as long as possible and as well as possible.
It's the American dream, dog.
Right, like the nation where we had
to genocide lots of people
to make it happen.
The only nation in the world
grandstanding.
Grandstanding.
About life, pro-life, yeah.
England, I suppose to for different reasons
he said in god's plan each unborn human truly has a future filled with potential
talent dreams and love i have living proof this is the statement that i don't understand it's
it's like a philosophical impossibility i have living proof in my family
my children it's like steve king saying that he imagined himself as an aborted as an aborted baby
is that word aborted baby
is an aborted baby
and then i decided
so i so jim harbaugh said that
but this is what he said sorry i didn't finish the because he had kids that's proof abortions
i guess so because he did something that literally is our only purpose here like
biologically speaking i think because i love my children, abortion is wrong. He said, I have living proof in my family, my children, and the many thousands that I've coached
that the unborn are amazing gifts from God to make this world a better place.
To me, the right...
He's right.
So abortion should be good.
It makes you right.
It's like, so are you saying it's good you wish your kids got a board like
fuck them kids it's a it's an underhanded insult to his own fucking progeny and all and all the
people he coaches and shit but like he he attempted to do like a kind of political
uh i don't know like pithy saying,
because this is what he said.
He said,
to me,
the right choice is to have the courage
to let the unborn be born.
So,
yeah.
So let yourself,
you have the courage to allow the state
to force you to have a child.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
That's funny.
It's like, yeah, like all babies should be be born but like when they get to be adults they go all darwinian you know what
i mean it's like well now you gotta sink or swim pal yeah what what was he trying we don't we don't
care after you born but you know yeah like what the fuck was he trying to say there that's a very
weird statement i've living i have living proof in
my family children and the many thousands that i've coached that the unborn are amazing gifts
from god to make this a better place like do you see ghosts jim is jim harbaugh is he like the kid
in sixth sense hailey joe osmond that's what happens that's what happens when you play in the NFL for 15 years and you get CTE.
You see ghosts.
You start seeing unborn.
Herschel Walker, man.
Herschel Walker, classic example.
Herschel Walker don't see ghosts.
He starts seeing all of his unborn children.
All his born children, I should say.
They're popping out of closets and shit with that motherfucker.
Yeah, he's haunted by his children. They're animating objects and shit like that yeah oh god damn yeah man these
people are fucking insane i mean it's just like it's like it's just i mean this goes without
saying but it's like okay like yeah life is you know i guess life is great well you know that's debatable but like okay like but what about the women who like are forced or the people that
are forced to have children like it's not great for them you know what i mean like it's not an
unequivocally good experience right if you can't have kids or you don't want to have children right
it's like dude shut up oh yeah i mean have the courage to let the unborn be born.
I mean, it's, yeah, it's extremely callous.
This is an extremely callous thing to say.
I don't know, man.
He said, I love life.
That's what he said.
Yeah, motherfucker, maybe he's one of us.
I'd love life, too, at the University of Michigan
paid me five million dollars a year
to call kids pussies
yeah I'm just gonna start saying it man
I'm pro-abortion because I hate life
I hate myself I hate life
I hate how things have ended up for me.
So I'm changing my position.
Rubbing my pregnant sister's belly like, damn, yo, you have no idea.
You have no idea what's out here for you, man.
Oh, shit.
God damn it.
Well, okay, moving right along we're doing a little headline uh touring right now the u.s secret service has determined it has no new texts to provide congress relevant to its january 6th
investigation have y'all kept up with all that like the secret service like erased yeah i saw
that they erased text messages i saw that but i didn't really pay attention to it because i was
like i read the headline i was like of course i don't need to read any deeper into this that
makes perfect sense that they would do that but so what's what's the deal now i guess like the
committee had requested this this these text messages between the Secret Service. And they erased them.
I don't know when, at what point.
The day of.
I didn't know that that was possible.
I thought that even if you deleted them off your phone
and your homies deleted it off their phone,
it still was saved somewhere, right?
I was led to believe that nothing,
unless it's a phone conversation on an unbugged phone.
That's my paranoia
belief in this.
But hell, I do.
Well, it's like when we're talking about...
Go ahead. No, no, no.
I was just saying, talking about the different rules
for rich people. There's different
rules for the Secret Service.
They'll be looking at our
group chats. Hopefully not really, but Secret Service not They'll be looking at our group chats.
Hopefully not really, but Secret Service not. But as soon as we need to see theirs, they're like,
no, we deleted those.
We don't got those, we deleted those.
Secret Service is the goofiest law enforcement structure
because they really only have three jobs,
and it's to investigate counterfeiting, internet gambling,
oh yeah, and the president's security detail
just like three incongruous jobs you know i guess the first other two yeah why are the first two
even internet gambling like what yeah i was investigated by the secret service for internet
gambling once uh-huh agent josh fisher i forgot about that like not like i came to your front door
yeah i was in my underwear i said uh i said sir i'll i'll go ahead and dress myself
he came in there it was a wild thing man they fucking okay so what they did was
i'll tell the abbreviated version but basically they were questioning my cousin's internet gambling activity.
And they made me go in my bedroom in the apartment.
And the guy said,
you got anywhere to be in the next little bit?
Got to use the bathroom or anything?
I was like, no.
He goes, okay.
And he turned my TV up in my bedroom
up to where I couldn't hear what they were saying.
And he stuck a towel under my door.
What?
These two strange men in suits did this.
This is terrifying.
They went and interrogated my cousin
and then he came back and just let me out.
They brought me in there and they didn't even do anything for Adam.
I guess they got what they wanted or whatever
or didn't get what they wanted.
They asked me one question about this guy from my childhood
that I know, that terrence knows too
that's all they asked me then they gave me their card and went away did you get the sense that
they're honorable men i mean have you have you all heard about this there's like this story about
secret service agents getting bribed i think they were assigned to jill biden and they were bribed by these two
men who like gave them free iphones and all this shit yeah like it it's it's like to not to not
guard jill biden like he's like yo dude i just need you to walk away he has like a very long
duffel bag i need you to walk away for He has like a very long duffel bag.
I need you to walk away for like 10 minutes and I'll give you this free iPhone. These guys are like letting Jill Biden get domed for like a pair of iPod or like what
do you call it?
AirPod Max.
For Obama phones.
You remember Obama phones?
They're like giving them Obama phones.
Yeah.
They're giving them some random shit.
They open up like a, they get a sharper image
like magazine and like open it up
to a random page.
Yeah, a scowl ball.
It's the thing you put on your
desk that like is the pendulum.
Yeah, I'll have the at home
pedicure machine just in exchange
to turn a blind eye
when an active shooter turns
give this motherfucker a food processor yeah i'll let you dome the president for a belgian waffle
maker being interviewed years later on fucking 60 minutes of some shit was it worth it yeah yeah i got a george
foreman grill out of it i can't ask for much in this country in 2012 i had another dust up with
the secret service if you could believe it i was uh interning at the clinton foundation
and my boss gave me her lanyard and elevator pass to take some stuff up to like bill clinton's
apartment that's on top of the place which is like nobody was up there you know but they were getting ready
because he was coming like the next day or later that day or something well i guess he got i guess
he got there early because like they were up there but nobody was supposed to know that so she she
would give me like the pass to go up there all the time and just put shit in his closet or whatever.
So I went up there,
and there was this Secret Service guy that was pacing in front of the elevator,
and he put his hand on his hip.
And I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I'm just, whoa.
And I'll never forget,
the last thing I would have saw before I died
was a big Arkansas Razorback mascot
made out of Legos right before this guy just
domed me.
Blood splatters over on the basket.
Yeah, he goes, bro, he goes, man, I didn't know anybody was supposed to be coming up
here.
I freaked out.
I was like, what?
God damn it.
Oh, shit.
Oh, man, you shared the same airspace air as Bill Clinton.
That's interesting. I did. We're in the same room, man. I shared the same airspace air as Bill Clinton. That's interesting.
I did.
I'm in the same room.
I've breathed the same air he breathed, unfortunately.
Yeah.
Last week we talked about how bad,
how I need to seek out one of those TV lawyers
for all my exposure to various weed killer chemicals
over the years.
You need to do the same
for being exposed to...
I need to seek out
a number of clerics
to exercise my teeth.
I need a priest.
An exorcist.
Your contamination is
on a more cosmological
metaphysical level
um oh shit man all right i'm moving on to the next thing here this was sent to me
by one aaron thorpe uh and one tom sexton actually well. You got it from both angles this morning.
I got it from both angles, yeah.
Nuclear power is racist, sexist, and ageist.
So why do some progressives support it?
Yeah!
No, I saw that this morning, man.
I was like, yo.
I never actually read it.
I just put out the joint, man.
I was like, you ought to pick that shit back up well it's funny you sent me that it's it's actually fun
nuclear to me seems pretty ist in general i i you know like the thing about nuclear is it it uh
it kind of is one of actually just one of the handful
of things that does
not respect race, creed, color,
gender, or anything.
Exactly.
Really, one of the only things you can say that about.
It's not unique in that category.
Now that I'm
reading it, I see where they're
going, but yeah, you're right.
It's not unique by any metric uh
but it did it's funny that you sent me that today because i had to go get my oil change this morning
and i was like sitting in the waiting lobby or whatever and i was reading that like mother jones
mother jones wrote a long profile of blake masters um which by the way has a youtube clip of him
rapping in college which is really really really bad like i was a better white rapper
than blake still still now you still are
and that's as true today as it was then um but like this article i mean it's you
know pretty good just gets in his relationship with peter till and uh and about how like blake
masters was like a libertarian in college and is now like a monarchist uh teal backed um national conservative basically and but it had a fucking
hilarious quote from trump in it that i'd never heard before so like they were at mar-a-lago
uh they're at mar-a-lago set the stage mar-a-lago set the stage stage. Mar-a-Lago. Set the stage. They're at Mar-a-Lago, and Blake Masters is, like,
trying to get Trump's endorsement for the primary.
The primary is still ongoing as of today.
I think they vote, like, it's weird.
The primary in Arizona for that race is in August.
But so they're still in the primary,
and at the time, this was, like, a month or two ago,
Blake Masters was trying to get Trump's endorsement,
and Trump hadn't given it yet.
Just dangling it like a carrot.
He was dangling it like a carrot.
He did eventually give it.
Do a backflip.
But here he's giving a speech at Mar-a-Lago.
He says, and he's like kind of, he's like giving a speech At Mar-a-Lago He says And he's like kind of
I think this is his pre-endorsement speech
He like gave a speech that hinted
That he would endorse Masters
And then gave a later one
But anyways he said
You see what's happening to our country
Which is frankly going to hell
We've never experienced anything like it
It's also the most dangerous time in
the history of our country because the n-word that's the word nuclear is being used all over
the place yeah the other one yo dog i'm not gonna lie anytime i hear the n-word i'm like oh okay i
know what's about to come next i really thought
i really like it was kind of like some pavlovian response you know what i'm saying i really thought
i was gonna hear that you and there's a perverted party you kind of wants to hear
oh of course i was like yo let's go come on
fucking ridiculous this is just the the most dangerous time in the history of our country
because the n-word that's the word nuclear is being used all over the place do you think he
had a moment where he was like oh wait i know how that sounds and then he like corrected himself or
do you think he was just being a provocateur from this? I'm sure he knew. I mean, it's just.
He knows.
Surely.
He has to know.
It's just so absurd.
I mean, it's just absurd that you could say.
I mean, yeah, he has to know.
He has to know.
He's just an inflammatory individual, man.
So, I mean, I could totally see him saying that while being aware that nuclear is not the N-word that most people think of when they hear the N-word.
being aware that uh the nuclear is not the n-word that most people think of when they hear the n-word it's like this other guy this dude on cnn one of these fucking um state department analysts or some
shit like that who is like um the n-word uh nato or some shit like that you know he's talking about
like the fucking ukrainian war you know just like dude come on that is that's you you're right like
i think what it is is they're pissed off that they can't say it anymore.
And so, like, they're, they keep playing with that new paradigm with, you know, the fact that that phrasing of it is so widely used now.
And so, like, they're intentionally, it's like a dog whistle.
You know what I'm saying?
It's, but it's like. Yes. yes yes i don't know it's uh they're like they're like it's they know it's
like they can't say it anymore and they're like playfully like i don't know man i don't know how
much of it is conscious or not but it's like play like it has to be subconscious in a way right
because it's like playfully doing it you know yeah because i see this shit all the time where
like you know white people just like itching to say the word and it's like dude like i'm not gonna give you the pass
also why do you want to say it what the fuck is wrong with you looking at you like that yeah
like like yo okay bro you know i just me and you and it's just me and you in here
just me and you in the birds, you know? It's tonight, tonight.
Just me and you with this blunt, man, you know?
Sometimes you rap and you slip up,
man, it's fine.
Tonight, tonight.
Oh, shit.
That one killed me, man.
God damn, that one killed me.
That's hilarious.
That's nuclear.
That's nuclear for those of you in the back.
Oh, shit.
That got me.
Okay, so for the remainder of this episode,
I wanted to read from this article that was in Vice.
And I have to commend the
journalist who went
and reported this story.
I don't know how he did it.
I myself could not have done that
without
losing my mind. Or without
strapping some C4, like
um, like
uh, what's his name in First reformed uh you know what i'm talking
about uh ethan hawke um but oh first reform first reformed yeah sorry sorry to give away the
sorry to spoil it spoiler spoiler alert um but uh this is in vice the article is called among
the landlords three days in st louis with 200 landlords at the 21st annual mrlandlord.com
national landlord convention oh man where's that at again we need to we need to send some uh
send some goodies, man.
I mean, honestly, I was shocked as I was reading this,
and I was reading all the comments from all the landlords.
I was like, do they know we're reading this?
Do they know that we know that they hold a conference where they say stuff like this every year?
I mean, I didn't know before this article, but I do now.
Hey, Norton, I know that you know that I know
that you hold a conference where you all say things like this.
Okay, it's kind of long, so I'll be skipping around a little bit,
but halfway through the first day of the 21st annual
MrLandlord.com National Landlord Convention,
a conference in St louis where landlords gather
to trade secrets commiserate and sell each other information the landlords give us a trade secrets
trade how to further exploit and impoverish people that's just what you know oh yeah yeah oh boy um
and they will get to some of the secrets in this article um the landlords gave out two checks with great fanfare jeffrey taylor
mr landlord himself brought a struggling tenant to the front quote-unquote struggling tenant to
the front of the room and handed him a check for three hundred dollars a three hundred dollar check
we wanted to let you know that this is right though i bet do what i said how much is his
rent though i bet oh yeah three is that um we wanted to let you know
that landlords aren't all bad taylor said the check was originally supposed to be for 250 dollars
but landlords had come up with a little extra 50 extra out of 200 people bro Hey, not looking for a pad on the back here. Not looking for it.
We all each gave 10 cents to make this $50.
Just like at a convention, like at a conference where they're all surrounded by, you know,
conceivably their allies and stuff. It's like the most they could kick in is 50 more dollars.
They're like, I'm feeling a little bad.
250, well, 50 more dollars icing They're like, I'm feeling a little bad. 250? Well, 50 more dollars.
Icing on the cake.
Immediately
after Taylor handed over the check,
amid applause from the crowd,
Taylor called St. Louis Sheriff
Vernon Betts to the front of the room to give
him a giant-sized novelty check
for $1,000 made
out to the sheriff's office.
Taylor said he'd called the local media
to witness this moment, but they hadn't come.
Then he explained that like the tenant's check,
the sheriff's check had been increased
from the planned $1,000 to $1,100.
Yo, these are the cheapest.
These are the most miserly,
bubby-ass motherfuckers ever dog they're so cheap
yo it's disgusting man well and it makes sense like if you've ever asked a landlord to fix
anything like they'll always go with like the cheapest option like tom me and tom used to live
in a apartment where i had moved out by this point, but eventually the roof just caved in.
The roof literally just fell in one day.
There is a video of people shouting,
watch out, watch out,
and the next thing you see is my foot
just dangling from the ceiling board.
From the rafters.
Taylor explained that he got the idea for the donation
after reading that the st louis
sheriff's office was struggling to purchase basic supplies we wanted to let you know that
landlords are not all bad we want to be seen in a positive image and we appreciate all that you do
assisting us i love that because it's like they're even miserly towards like the only this article is
kind of interesting because it kind of proves that like the only
people giving the cops money are municipalities like the capitalists and landlords aren't like
even though the cops literally exist to serve their interests and protect them like they're
not giving they're not paying their paychecks we're the ones paying their fucking paychecks
out of municipal coffers like even when it comes down to it the fucking landlords can't even like cough up more than eleven hundred dollars which i mean the only
reason they have that money is because they're fucking landlords so once again taking money from
us to then just give some fucking cops right exactly what the fuck exactly no so i was thinking
too it's like yo dog if i had got like let's say if it was you know like i went up there and my
landlord gave me a check,
I would just be like, hey, dog, like, what about asking you to come fix X, Y, and Z two weeks ago, you know?
Like, instead of giving me the money, I mean, give me both.
Like, why the fuck not?
Fix my shit and give me more than $300.
Or take rent off for, like, three months, man.
Oh, right, right.
No, I mean, it's inconceivable.
Sheriff Betts addressed the audience for about 20 minutes.
It was mostly about evictions.
He said that the eviction moratorium had been hard on him
and that he'd spent a lot of time, quote-unquote,
refereeing between tenants and landlords who wanted to evict them.
In the city of St. Louis, once I come to evict you,
you can't carry anything out of that house but what you can carry in your hands.
That's tough, ain't it? The furniture and TV? It all belongs to the landlord once I come.
Landlords in the St. Louis area filed requests for more than 18,000 evictions since March 2020, according to public records.
Seems kind of heartless, almost, Sheriff Betts continued, to put a person out and all they can carry is their purse and the clothes on their back and all that kind of heartless almost sheriff bets continued to put a person out and all they can
carry is their purse and the clothes on their back and all that kind of stuff but i found myself
during the moratorium doing a lot of refereeing trying to help on both sides i was a landlord
once myself okay of course you were um so okay the, the Mr. Landlord website,
so the Mr. Landlord is a website, like mrlandlord.com,
and every year they hold a conference, every year since 1999.
Landlords are, okay, so this is blah, blah, blah,
as he's writing here in the article.
Some landlords now see the terms,-unquote landlord and of course
slumlord as slurs and would prefer to be referred to as quote-unquote housing providers
first they came for the landlords but i did not speak out like what are you talking about
every like identity that has like a pr crisis like remember christians rebranded as followers
of christ oh dog i saw a tweet today that said some should like that we should call them theocrats
instead of christians house oh god man oh so okay so your housing providers um i just i love that it's like how it's like they've rebranded
since it's another example of how the pandemic kind of reshaped a lot of our um sort of core
assumptions about the way society operates but in their minds and this article gets into it
what is behind the term housing provider is that they serve like an indispensable role
in a community which is that they provide housing um that's the way they see themselves they see
themselves as a part of a community helping people out hey notice what off my back you know
like we're just we're helping you out like we doing you a favor. I didn't build the house, but still, I don't own, I didn't make the land until the land
that the house is on, but I'm gonna rent it to you.
Like, shut the fuck up, man.
I see myself as a more handsome, less portly man with a lot of money, but that's not just
borne out under scrutiny, though, you know?
Let's see.
In recent years, websites like BiggerPockets
that explain how to buy and manage rental properties
have cropped up and become popular
among a new generation of landlords.
BiggerPockets now boasts more than 2 million members
and has the tagline,
live life on your terms with real estate investing
the mr landlord community meanwhile feels like the old guard
um because like i said this website and this conference started in 1999
um so um okay we're talking about let's's see. Facing a declining empire, rising prices, and an uncertain future,
the landlord instinctively understands the new American dream.
Get rich enough to buy your way out of capitalist wage systems.
Everything has gotten more expensive.
Inflation and corporate greed have driven up the cost of living for everyone.
Rent, which always goes up, is creeping up to what landlords call market rates.
Entire elections are being run on platforms related to homelessness and
housing. The landlords who attended the
conference are ready to move beyond COVID and
its attendant moratoriums. The theme
of this year's convention was in fact
quote unquote moving beyond COVID.
They're ready to raise the rents
and eager to get back. Ah folks, it sounds
like it's like okay, like
life's back in the saddle.
Like everything's good again.
What are we going to do?
We're going to raise them rents.
It's open season.
Yeah.
Yeah.
From its various landing pages,
the curious landlord can learn about Mr. Landlord's, quote,
fantastic landlord getaway cruise.
Learn from top real estate professionals
professionals while having the time of your life on the high seas there's no better tax
deduction available could you imagine the like just the just the hell of being on a fucking
it's in the middle of the high seas surrounded by nothing but landlords but landlords y'all
jumping in that water dog and i can swim but i won't though just jump in and just don't swim just yeah just like like put your arms to your sides flat
with your knees like your legs tucked together and just
intentionally breathing in water.
What are you doing?
I'm trying to drown myself.
I'm trying to drown myself.
Did they try to throw you like a lifeboat and shit like that?
Like the little floaties?
Nah, man.
I don't need that.
I'm good. By the early 2000s, MrLandlord.com was selling a CD-ROM tenant tracking software system for landlords.
MrLandlord.com was selling a CD-ROM tenant tracking software system for landlords.
A piece of software, Taylor said, normally sold for $599, but could be yours for a mere $399.
I like how they're also just bilking each other.
Like, they're also just, like, constantly conning and scamming each other.
Let's see here. Today, MrLandlord's online presence is dizzying there's mrlandlord.com there's the bespoke page for the mr landlord landlord convention there's a website called
landlord coach where you go if you want to hire taylor to give a pep talk to you and your
organization it features a list of his upcoming good yeah it features a list of his upcoming... I'm good. Yeah, it features a list of his
upcoming speeches, blah, blah, blah, his
YouTube page.
Other threads. Concerned neighbor.
Reporting debt. Tenants from hell.
Fake renter moves in. Use for poison
ivy, which advocates using poison
ivy to keep out home intruders.
That's something I've not heard before.
Uh, what?
He just fucking cries, dude.
What?
Also, dog.
Okay, let's say that that was okay, which it is not.
You're playing the long game because Poison Ivy takes a little bit to work.
It's not like it's going to stop the initial intrusion.
Yeah, you're going to send this motherfucker home like three hours later.
He's going to be itching and scratching and shit like that. What is he, allergic? initial intrusion yeah you're gonna send this motherfucker home like three hours later he's
gonna be itching and scratching and shit like that what is this allergic yo dog if these people
could booby trap that shit like some fucking indiana jones shit like i swear they would do
that like they'd have daggers coming out the walls right yeah yeah i'm my rental properties include
the temple of doom the walls closed in on you, literally.
Yeah, right.
I'm renting out the small, always-enclosing space
in the Temple of Doom for $2,000 a month.
When you get there, they make it even smaller
and then up the price?
Another long thread considers the question
of whether users should brand themselves
as housing providers not landlords
housing provider says we provide a service a good for the community service we provide housing we
work hard we contribute what does landlord convey it implies superiority i think it's an outmoded
outdated should be abandoned term um you know what's insane about that just real quick what's
so insane about that is like they keep using this word provide like a service no motherfucker it's a necessity
which does not make you like this ultra altruistic you know what i'm saying like like
generous benevolent motherfucker it means that you are a lord you're a landlord man absolutely
and then in their minds though like the social or the property relation has been mystified
to the to such an extent that they really literally do see themselves as benevolent
force in society yeah um and it drives them insane that fact that they know deep down they
know they know i mean come on we all we know that you know that we that we
fucking hate your guts you're fucking a vampire a societal vampire right and also just like in
in like literature and like just it just even just going back to biblical times i feel like
the idea of a landlord it's just like you're never gonna shake that like that is something that
like has been around for so long we all know what you do exactly right right when when adam smith
was calling you the dregs of society that's saying something oh shit um, so he talks about the room was packed with about 200 landlords.
He said, I saw old landlords, young landlords, boomer landlords,
millennial landlords, landlords in coveralls,
and landlords in business casual.
I saw green landlords, purple landlords.
I saw a boy of about 12 who wore a suit every day.
I saw a schlub in boat shoes and a Hawaiian shirt
who I was told later was a state
representative from Indiana.
I saw
an old woman leaning on a walker to
keep steady. I saw a black man who owned more than
500 properties in the Chicago area.
For all their diversity
they're a shocking...
They ain't got half my man Michael Jordan.
Like...
Also known as michael jordan hey keep keep his air in the sound of this
um mr landlord himself this is his three rules for excess success one don't take it personal
two do not leave it up to the judge three start delegating in small ways. So I guess what he means by that is he says,
okay, he hammered on a few different themes in his opening.
One was that landlords should raise their rents.
A lot of imagination.
Just really breaking the mental bank.
Raising rent is not a moral question he said um yeah well i mean he is right about that he's right about that it's not it's yeah
it's a it's a social relation um as a landlord taylor was concerned about covid not just because
of the disease itself because of the overwhelming change it brought. COVID has been bad for landlords, he said. It was and still is tough for many.
Some feel like they were taken advantage of because they knew that their residents were
still working, and yet for whatever reasons, they claim they couldn't pay.
So, okay, this is the kind of the part I wanted to get to that has like a little bit of the
anecdotes from the people there. The convention was mostly a series of pitches almost every speaker was there
to explain a trick or technique that will help a landlord make money for 597 dollars mr land trust
randy hughes will teach you how to use an elaborate system of trusts to reduce tax liability and legal
risk for 1997 dollars wall Street veteran John Burley
will teach you the secrets of raising private money.
Paul Disning, the owner of a real estate investment company,
came to St. Louis to teach the landlords
about quote-unquote navigating treacherous roads.
His seminar is about dealing with lead paint,
criminal tenants, comfort animals,
and sticky
regulations in general it's about the strange legal gray areas landlords must navigate do you
run credit checks do you deny based on credit scores can you ask for social security numbers
what if someone tells you their pet alligator is a service animal can you deny people because
they're on probation um a lot of them are good tenants because they're being watched, he said.
Yeah, well, that is probably true.
We are under constant surveillance
and they have all of our fucking data at this point.
When he got to the issue of lead paint,
the audience perked up.
People had a lot of questions.
More regulations are coming
and that means big government.
Big government doesn't mess around
when it comes to lead paint.
Attendees joked that they won't be buying properties constructed before 1978,
the date at which extra regulations kicked in.
Yo, these people, y'all just have to say it's like,
just the callous nature in which they talk about, like,
potential and very serious health risks to people's lives.
And they're so so not even just
miserly but sociopathic you know what i'm saying that's something like lead paint it's like yo
what happens when i mean this is not gonna happen but it's like yo you don't even you literally just
care about like like the rent right like you just care about that this person as a tenant and a
renter you don't give a shit if they die in their apartment right no i mean you you see how like it it it forces them even if they are a good person or even if
they if they see themselves that way or if members of their family or their friends of the community
see themselves that way the imperatives of that relation require them to be callous and cruel at the end of the day i mean
exactly it's not a moral it's the same thing in the left right it's like some of these arguments
are not just moral arguments for these people that's all of it that's like anything but a
moral argument right like you said terrence it's a social relation right it's just a function and
a process right yeah this is the part that i thought was great i was sitting next to kevin booze i don't
know how to say his last name bouse b-o-u-s-e i was sitting next to kevin bouse and his 19 year
old son a third generation landlord yo what is this like
the old family trade. Parasitism.
My daddy didn't do shit.
My granddaddy didn't do shit.
My granddaddy before him didn't do shit either.
Yeah, ninth generation parasite. Parasite.
A lot of landlords...
Okay, hold on.
Blah, blah blah blah disney meanwhile droned on talking about the nationwide scourge of bed bugs a landlord in the crown crowd suggested scheduling home
visits with prospective tenants before they move in to make sure they aren't bringing bed bugs with
them how the fuck would you do that you would have to like examine their whole body and like
all their fucking personal items like it's yeah all their personal life preferences like what if
it's not even about bed bugs what if you just see something that you don't like you know and you're
like nah you can't rent to this person exactly i mean a lot of great posters on the wall or some
shit you know i feel like a lot of renting is already just that like you'll get denied for
something and they'll probably give you a false pretense like oh uh a floorboard i had to do extra work on it but it was really just
because your credit score is like 610 or something that would that'd be funny it's like they start
like they keep your like credit report monitoring and every time it goes down they go like take something out
of your place they rent you like yeah yeah i don't know if we can have a toilet this month you drop
down to 680 dog if you're talking about you know you said terrorists like that the cd-roms in the
late 90s which like tenant surveillance yeah tom it'd be hella crazy if like they could just have
an app like an internet of things where all this information is like channeled into this one source where you could just like and then they
just raise your rent accordingly you know what i mean like if you're like if your credit score dips
your rent goes up which is also the stupidest goddamn thing in the world because it's like
like wait a second like if i have bad credit like shouldn't you try and be
making my terms
easier because you know i ain't gonna pay that shit back exactly i'm not gonna pay this shit
back why are you making it harder for me yeah a lot of this is fascinating because it's it's
mostly about how landlords truly hate humans like they love houses and they hate humans like listen to this even each other listen to this
during a presentation on taking nice photos for zillow a a set of photos of this house came up
someone in the crowd yelled it would be perfect if you didn't put a residence in it
so houses are not even It's not fit to live in
Right it's like they hate
Right like the house itself
Is fine
It's paradigmatic of like the way society
Should be until you put human beings in it
Like
It's weird it's like they hate themselves
Because they have this relationship
With the tenant
And ah dude it's just a lot of psychology going on there i guess i mean to be a landlord though
you kind of like have to not just hate yourself but everyone else too because the sort of i don't
know the sort of social relation that constitute that is not one that's like there's always tension
right the same way there's tension between the worker and the employer there's always going to be tension
between the landlord and the tenant and like i just know like personally like you know like um
family members my mom for example she's like dude she has a headache every fucking time
like her tenant is like pushing back about something or rent is late right something is
like why the fuck would i want to rent out a home for that you know just
for that reason alone right it's a fucking headache so of course you fucking hate people
hate yourself man yeah also another weird another weird thing or theme that i keep teasing out from
this article is how many kids are there and how they're like being like I don't know. Social reproduction? Yes. Into landlords?
It's like they're brought into the, yes,
the reproductive process of being a landlord.
Like the kid who was wearing the suit
and the 19-year-old third-generation landlord.
But, like, listen to this.
Eric M. Woolwind, the names at this place are fucking...
Woolwind.
Attended with his wife,
Lila,
their realtors from Ohio.
Their kids came with them.
One wore a suit.
Lila and Eric have co-authored a book.
One of their kids has written two books on of his own.
Listen to this.
If I can do it,
so can you,
how I started buying real estate at age seven.
Dog.
You know what?
No,
I'm not going to say that. You know what? I'm not gonna say that you know what i'm not gonna say
that whatever no go for it go for it hey man you know how to rob a dog's man like we took
everybody like man woman child like i don't know man like dog as again i've said on the podcast
many times i have no shame saying it my mom's a landlord uh
when one of the houses that because we have we bought two homes my parents bought two homes when
they moved down here they were able to and apparently one of them also is in my name right
yo my mom already knows that whenever she dies and that house gets passed to me i'm not gonna
be a fucking landlord dude i'm not gonna want to do that oh yeah but that's the thing is that they
want to read they of course they want to keep it like this wealth uh this wealth um um how can i say it i guess like
accumulation within the family generational yeah they want to keep it right right i mean it makes
sense because a house as an asset is a valuable asset and it's it's i mean it's worth more money
than just putting your money in the bank or you know what i'm saying so i mean it makes sense but like the ideological reproduction at work there is fascinating like the kid writing a book
if i can do it so can you how i started buying real estate at age seven like when i was seven
when i was like a kid i would like make like little sprinklers like i would get these like
little like pvc pipes
and and like these little sprinkler systems they may have been about like two feet long just like
little tiny things and like i would sell them for like 20 bucks around the neighborhood and like
and i think like or or you know and maybe that's maybe that's like a step up from even the most
rudimentary which is like just selling. Like most normal kids just fucking sell lemonade.
Like these kids,
like their parents are like,
nah,
we're going to buy you a house and you're going to learn how to be a landlord.
And you're going to,
I mean,
like imagine if your fucking landlord was seven years old.
Like I said,
Roman.
That's my fucker.
I hear the Capri Sun just sipping it all ominously.
Like showing up in like, hmm, a few months late now, Jeff.
And then just like that little sucking noise on the Capri Sun.
He's sitting on your porch before you even get home.
Save it, Jeff.
I've heard it all.
Oh, my God,. Save it, Jeff. I've heard it all. Oh my god, man.
Also, too,
at seven years old,
motherfuckers are supposed to be building tree houses,
not buying actual homes.
Listen, I'm just going to tell you right now,
if I ever ran off a seven-year-old,
I'm going to kill that child.
If I'm like a man in his 40s and i'm so fucking destitute i'm written off a fucking seven-year-old i'm gonna throw that motherfucker
down a well okay make him a fucker call for lasses just taking yeah just taking a break
in between like the teletubbies or barney or whatever to fuck you. Just like... Rats the shit out of people.
Right.
During a presentation by Mike Warren,
the most terrifying of the presenters,
Eric cracked a joke about his bad tenants
spending all their money on Marlboros and Budweiser.
Man, there's nobody that hates cigarettes and beer
like a landlord.
True.
Yo, for real. That's so true tom like they hate they like if you're drinking it and smoking or whatever they think that that's a huge waste of money and if you're doing it on their property
they get real yeah it attracts weird about it too it attracts the wrong element yeah right
that's so true because when i lived in brooklyn at this apartment my friends the landlord
he would see us smoking outside sometimes and always like have an attitude about it's like dude
i'm outside you know i'm saying just because i'm smoking doesn't mean i'm gonna go smoke inside
even though we did a couple times yeah we did a couple times let's fuck that guy
oh i ain't getting my deposit back okay let me let me stay in your world um war dude i'll never forget that
reminds me i'll never forget when i was when i lived in austin uh this is probably like a year
after i graduated college and like i had moved in with this guy he was he was probably probably like 20 years old at the time i was like
23 or something like so i'd like i'd been renting for a long time since i was like 18 and it was his
first it was the first time he had ever rented and i remember when we were moving out he was like
yeah man like i was like yeah i keep calling them like the landlords i've been calling them like
you know about to get our deposit back and everything.
He's like, but I don't know.
I mean, he's like, but, you know, he's like, I'll just keep calling them.
I'm sure they'll answer or something like that.
And I was like, dude, you're not getting that money back.
I was like, I wrote that money off a long time ago, man.
Bro, bro, yeah.
I've never got a deposit back, dude.
Yeah.
It's like going to the car dealership.
When you sign papers, you've lost.
Like, hey, Frankenstein, bro.
That's just the tax for not being able to own a home.
Right.
It's like an extra month's rent.
You're right, Tom.
It's a tax for not being able to own a home.
It's a punishment.
Yeah, right.
Okay, hold on. Okay, so this guy mike warren warren had been talking
about the eviction moratorium i don't think that was fair he said i understand helping people in
need but shouldn't that money have been paid to landlords specifically where's the common sense
in that you save one party help them out and give them free money that they can go out and buy doodads
depreciating assets whereas landlords
suffer warren isn't the landlord bro if you if you gave it to the landlord what the fuck would
the landlord do with it you give to somebody else they're gonna put that money right back into the
economy man shut the fuck up dude the some of these some of these quotes are insane warren
isn't a landlord he's another kind of middleman when a landlord has a court levy debt he can't
collect called a judgment,
Warren buys it from the landlord for pennies on the dollar.
It's like he's another kind of parasite.
Like, you know, there's so many different parasites in this fucking ecosystem.
It's like a remora that has a remora attached to it.
Yeah.
Then he goes after the debtor to claim money he was never originally owed.
Warren informed the crowd that pets are personal property
and that you can, if you'd like,
repossess them from people who owe you money.
Even the landlords groaned at this.
That's brutal, woman next to me said.
Yeah, let you go try to repossess a pit bull or some shit.
I wish you would fucking try, dog.
Yeah, seriously, yeah.
Yeah, like, yeah.
Yeah.
Just try it be my guest just like growling yeah he bites his fucking hand off yo yeah as a housing provider we're providing a very
valuable community service uh this woman said if we weren't there they would be under a bridge
and that's what the cities don't see they just think that we're raking in the money.
They don't see that you have taxes and insurance to pay.
They don't see all the nitty gritty.
I love that.
I love that.
If we weren't there,
they would be under a bridge.
Okay, okay, okay.
Let me just say this though, okay?
So it's like,
okay, sure,
like somebody owns a house
and they like rent that house out to you or whatever.
But like these motherfuckers
are not doing that these motherfuckers are accumulating properties that they tons of
properties they know they're gonna have to pay taxes on going into it you know what i mean like
oh yeah exactly yeah exactly you can't be like you can't be like well all these problems like
motherfucker you knew that shit or you should have known that shit before you fucking bought the properties right right he's man uh so disingenuous man this is yeah it's
uh this is the biggest lesson of the eviction moratorium and covid the government can use
its power to upend your world so the scary thing for landlords is if they can do it with this
what else might come around that they say hey hey, this is a quote from one of
the landlords, hey, this is a situation where the government has to step in and change the rules.
For that reason, many landlords have gotten out of the business. And then the writer says, it's
hard for me to even process what this means, that suddenly a bunch of people whose mortgages are
being paid for them by renters will suddenly leave the business and everyone will become homeless.
Only then will we realize the benevolence of these housing providers but the theory of housing underlying the other beliefs
of the housing providers points in an odd way to something that could be viewed as inspiring
what he's saying is that like regulations what it proves is that like government and regulations
when used properly can intervene in this process and guarantee a living
fucking situation for people but no i just yeah i know that logic kill just drives me insane
if we weren't around everybody would be homeless yeah just i don't i mean it's just it just drives
me fucking crazy just like the concept of a home, right?
I mean, it's more than just like a structure.
But at the end of the day, it is a structure, like a roof over your head,
heat in winter, an escape from the heat in summer,
a place where you make your meals and have fellowship with your loved ones.
Like that can be, you know, in its most elemental form,
I guess it can be done in a literal cave.
It's just the idea, though, that landlords are necessary.
For the more Spartan among us.
Yeah.
For the more Neanderthal.
You want to circumvent all this mess?
Just go live in a cave.
Go back to tradition, man.
It's interesting, though.
It just gets at the idea that they think that they see themselves
as necessary for creating this commodity.
They have a very specific role in creating a value,
which they do in the system we live in,
but it doesn't have to be that way.
And COVID proved that it doesn't have to be that way. And COVID proved that it doesn't have to be that way.
And they know it.
And that's why they're fucking assholes are tight.
Let's see.
Okay, I'm gonna start wrapping things up here,
but I wanted to get to this one.
This one, this landlord told me,
well, I don't know. here is a pull quote is um oh god i'm gonna have to boot cancer boy back down to 12 5 it's like it's a it's it's just like a landlord
telling a story about having to boot a person with cancer from his uh um rental property i mean yeah they do a seminar about how to do the tough evictions
cancer patients and those suffering from diabetes so i mean like this convention basically is like
because you mentioned a quote earlier about the gray areas that landlords have to navigate
so i mean this is just the convention
for not only con men but like morally dubious and potentially like committers of crime
right like you know what i mean like these people are all colluding about ways to fuck people over
who already and this is the fucked up thing about the landlord position is like dude when you're looking at your tenant somebody who is um who needs something from you right who is not empowered
and you're looking at them as if they're your enemy right or as if there's some kind of burden
that's just like completely fucked man yeah you know but that's because of the social relation
like in class antagonism that's the only way that they can look at tenants instead of human beings like you're inherently trying to fuck me over even though you're giving me money you're right
there there's something inherent in that dynamic that forces them to view you as less than human
it's all over this article whether it's like the person booting the person with cancer or if it's
the person who said like oh that'd be a nice house if you remove
the tenants from it it's just like they can't see they cannot see their tenants as human they have
to be subhuman uh exactly for that to for i mean for all kinds of reasons the obviously the most
obvious one is for that they can extract fucking surplus from them and they can use it as their own fucking
income exactly but it's also so like you know 99.9 of most of them all of them can sleep at night
right uh yeah they can sleep at night knowing the fact that like you know i'm saying that they're
lording over landlord you are lording over somebody right you're right necessity that they need right
right but it doesn't matter because they're subhuman. They drink Budweiser
and smoke Sonoma Williams.
Exactly.
We got,
for a little palate cleanser
before we sign off here,
we got away from it
a little too quick,
but I jotted down some verses
that I think make the biblical case
that abortion's okay. Oh, good.
I want to share this with Jim Harbaugh.
This is from Ecclesiastes 4
verse 2 and 3.
So I congratulated
the dead who are already dead
more than the living who are still living.
But better off
than both of them is
the one who has never existed.
Who has never seen the evil actually that is done under the sun
i love ecclesiastes and proverbs because parts of it just sound like dispatches from the player
haters ball and then of course there's Job who said, the often quoted prophet Job, well, not prophet, but Job on this program.
Afterward, this is Job 3, 1 through 19.
Afterward, Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth.
And Job said, let the day perish on which I was to be born.
And the night which said, a boy is conceived.
and the knight which said, a boy is conceived.
So this man not only cursed the day he was born,
he cursed the day he was conceived.
So that's why the life starts at conception, freaks.
No, it's like I was saying earlier, man, pro-abortion,
because I hate life.
Life sucks, man.
Joe, the 16th verse of that same stanza says,
Or like a miscarriage which is discarded,
I would not be as an infant that never saw the light.
Oh, man.
Jesus, man.
Job 10 and 19.
This bastard's already got some real demons. I should have been as though I had never been.
Carried from womb to tomb.
So in
just one book of the Bible,
my man
says not only
does conception
should be,
but also birth.
You know what you need to do, you know even though like uh uh the show
fucking sucks but you know that west wing episode the famous west wing episode where uh president
bartlett uh uh pretty much owns that oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that anti that homophobic you need to do
this for jim harbaugh you know yeah exactly that's what you do man go to like a republican conventions and shit like that go to a michigan ball game go to a university
of michigan i'm gonna cover myself in boils and sores and go to the michigan ball game
oh then i was never born coach on the 50 right. Like, as they're flipping the coin, you're the guy.
Yeah, like, you know those fuckers that always go
for, like, abortion clinics and protest and do
all that dumb shit? I'm just gonna protest
Michigan games, dressed as the
Prophet Job and talking about how
it was best I'd never been born.
Oh, shit, man.
Oh, man. Oh, boy. oh man oh boy well i'd say that about covers it today boys well
yeah you think so yeah i mean uh slow news week yeah well i feel like i feel like i always say
slow news week and meanwhile like there's
like a war going on there's like the rising tide of the fascism there's like a bunch of different
shit but slow week for me uh you're right right right yeah monkey pox i think is like uh becoming
a thing actually apparently you can get by just touching someone's clothes from what i've read at
least i guess i don't know uh Yeah, stay safe out there, folks.
Hey, Tom, what did the Bible say about plagues, man, and pandemics?
Oh, there's a lot of them.
That's like a lot of that.
Well, it's funny you say touching somebody's clothes
because in the Bible, the woman that was suffering from the issue of blood
had to touch the hem of Jesus' garment in order to be made whole.
But what if Jesus instead would have given her monkey pox?
Just hasten her trip to the grave.
What does it say about the N-word?
Nazarene.
Nazarene.
Nazarene.
Nazarene.
Nazarene.
Preachers are going to start throwing that out in church service.
We all know the N word No not that one
Nazareth
Ty when we were in bible school
Kids used to fuck with people
He would say I'll give her something that's 8 inches long and black
And everybody would go
He would go the bible
The bible of course
Yeah I'd let her ride alright
The church bus The Bible. The Bible, of course. The Bible. Yeah, I'd let her ride, all right.
The church bus.
Oh, shit, dude.
Oh, man.
All right.
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