Trillbilly Worker's Party - Episode 30: Fahrenheit 151 (w/ special guest Willie Davis)
Episode Date: October 13, 2017Friend and author Willie Davis stops by the show to shoot the shit and burn some books. Except the one he wrote, we didn't burn that one....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Oh man, alright. Check the mics? You want to check the mic?
One, two, rock the mic. Mine's good.
You're good? Can you hear yourself?
I'm good. I can hear myself.
Tight.
Am I here?
That's you.
That's you. That's your mic. It's very, um, it's a little much, and I apologize for that.
It's okay.
I'm very extravagant.
Like lean in?
You, yeah.
So you have to lean in to the mic.
That's why I told you to strip or fall.
I gotcha.
I gotcha.
I got so sued because of all the crabs on it.
It can be.
Because Walt's on it?
I said all the crabs on it.
God damn it. What's the craziest thing you've ever seen in a stripper club?
What's that?
Strip club.
In a stripper club.
A place where strippers hang out.
A facility where strippers work at.
I would have to say a child.
I saw a child in a strip club
one time.
I was at this strip club in New Orleans.
Patrick Ewing.
Patrick Ewing.
He was outside of it and people were coming up in D.C.
He was like, can I get your autograph?
He's like, not really the time for an autograph
and a picture right now.
Outside.
He was like, I'm just going to this bar.
He pointed to the one next to the strip club and was like,
Patrick Ewing, you know you're going to this bar.
I have a friend
that's Eskimo Brothers or Charles Barkley.
Really?
He must be filthy.
I just wonder how that...
I knew someone who fucked Adrian Peterson
when he was in college.
What's that mean? What's Eskimo Brothers?
Like, you know, you've slept with the same person.
You know, like, if, for example,
like me and Tom hooked up with the same person,
that would make us Eskimo Brothers.
Tom and Terrence.
If you and Willie hooked up with the same person,
you'd be Eskimo.
Which I don't want you to do.
If we cucked Willie.
Are you all Eskimo siblings?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Probably in some way.
I mean, in Whitesburg, it's only like two or three degrees.
That's what I'm saying.
Whitesburg is just one happy family.
Separation.
Right.
Just we are family.
Right.
Yeah.
Wow.
Wait, are we going yet? Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah okay we're going okay hard cold open the second joke you've made about that in as many days.
What are you getting at here, Dan?
It's ripe material, really, though.
I mean, it's a good vein.
You can mine a lot out of that.
This whole idea of cuckolding
coming into the mainstream,
coming into Vogue,
is pretty fucking funny
when you think about it.
Yeah.
Like, I've always... I didn't know there was
like a racist dimension to that. Yeah.
It's kind of, like I just thought like if you
cucked some guy you just took his girlfriend or something.
Right. You know.
What is it? What's the
what's the root of cucking? It's a fetish
wherein like a white guy wants
his wife to have sex with a black guy.
Right.
What?
And he watches it?
And he watches it.
And like facilitates it.
And he gets off to it.
Gets off to it.
Let me just Google this for the next hour and a half.
And then we'll assess the situation.
Give you a very satisfying report.
Yeah, we do only know the broad strokes of it at this moment.
Come on, it's too easy.
Jerk off jokes with you, man.
Lowest brow in here.
I sound pretty bad.
Got a little congestion going on.
Did you go too hard this weekend?
I actually felt really shitty until I went hard this weekend.
It was like a roll reverse.
You're on the come up?
I'm on the come up.
Yeah, no.
You sounded.
I sound a lot better today than I did yesterday.
Yesterday I sounded like Bane.
You were like floating yesterday.
You were saying sentences but you didn't believe
what you were saying.
You're right.
I was in another.
I feel fine honestly.
Around here we call it being a Republican.
I was standing at the dinner,
and Mary was giving a speech,
and I was just so out of it,
and looking at my phone,
and Willie texted me,
and he said,
he was literally standing right next to me,
and he said,
get off your phone,
your coworker is speaking.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.
Not for one,
even when I tried to relax,
and enjoy my, my,
my,
I wrote it,
I wrote it while he was on the phone
and then he put his phone away.
I'm like, well, now it's not gonna work.
And I was like, man, get back on your phone
so I can tell you this.
And I did.
It was about three minutes later,
he kind of reaches back in.
I'm like, yes, funny.
But meanwhile, I'm on my phone
because I'm waiting for him to do it.
Right.
Yeah, it was a cycle of distraction.
No, it was a really busy day, but we made it through.
We had a great show last night, Tonya.
It was...
Great news.
It was an incredible show.
Good news.
We told the crowd that...
Well, they died.
Oh, that's great.
Did you make any money off that?
When's the memorial party?
No, man, we just started a GoFundMe.
Yeah.
Hung out a donations bucket.
Well, we're going to need some.
I've always wanted to attend my own funeral.
Well, everybody was mad that we,
the people that knew you weren't dead were mad at us
for making the joke.
And the people that didn't know were sad, so.
Right.
It's pretty good.
It's like, how is that good?
I can report that.
Well, we made half the crowd sad, but the other half was very angry at us.
Sad and mad.
Just what you're going for.
Somehow we didn't bomb.
Even with that.
Depends on who you ask, I bet.
It was good.
No, yeah.
It was the first time that me and Tom were on a stage together drawing the ire of a large crowd of people
I was on a stage yesterday too
were you really?
did you draw the ire of people?
I don't know what that means
were tomatoes thrown at you?
no I was announcing raffle tickets
so people were really into it
so after I was saying name people would applaud
and the applause got worse and worse
and I said come on people we're winning shit up here
and everybody was like and Emily Hilliard was there and the applause got worse and worse and I said, come on people, we're winning shit up here.
And everybody was like, woo!
And Emily Hilliard was there and she came up to me later
and she was like, I was hoping you were gonna
reference Trill Billy's or something.
She was like, there was a rare Trill Billy's.
You could say, how could you say that
when you know Tom and Terrence died yesterday?
You pulled the same gay.
I was like, I'm in mourning. When I was in college, before everybody had the internet in their pocket, my friends and
I, we would be at parties and we would start rumors and say, oh, did you hear that Gwyneth
Paltrow died?
That was weird.
It was a car accident.
And it would just spread through.
And we were just doing it as this social experiment.
And then we would hear it told back to us.
And we're like, huh, wow, yeah, no, that really spreads fast.
And then it was later in retrospect.
I'm like, yeah, we were just lying to people.
Of course they believed us.
Why would anybody lie about that randomly? Because you can't.
Right, exactly.
An old-fashioned game of telephone.
I did that the other day. It's a old-fashioned game of telephone i did that the
other day it's a morbid game of telephone yeah i did that the other day with tom petty
what was oh tom i have some bad news for you
it seemed like a lot of people did that with tom right yeah celebrities dying
do you remember when
who was like
you're always like
the rumor
they died in a
like
this era that
Willie's talking about
the pre cell phone era
right
for me it was like
the dude from
Saved by the Bell
had died in a
motorcycle accident
which dude
are there like
four of them
Zach Morris yeah time man that's not really his name had died in a motorcycle accident. Which dude? There are like four of them?
Zach Morris.
Tom, man, that's not really his name.
I don't know what his name is.
For some reason,
I thought that was James Van Der Beek. I guess that's not.
That's Dawson's Creek.
Did you think he died?
No, I thought he played Zach Morris.
I don't know.
What?
I didn't know that guy was dead.
Strike this for a minute.
Strike this for a minute.
This was very promising, babe.
Oh, my God.
Well, anyways, back to your night last night.
Wow, wasn't yours good?
No, ours was good.
Ours was great.
We won't hear about the Bonnie Prince.
Oh, yeah.
Will Oldham was there.
Who's Will Oldham?
Bonnie Prince Billy.
His government name.
His Christian name.
His Christian name.
He was there by his Christian name because he was there as the preacher boy from Mate 1.
Oh, okay.
Mate 1.
And I hadn't watched the film since knowing that he played the preacher.
Yeah.
It's a whole new thing.
But what was wild is we were, most of us were out in the lobby just dealing with shit while
the movie was playing.
It was a two and a half hour movie.
And all of a sudden the whole theater, 250 people, because they both sold out almost,
erupted with applause. And we knew the movie wasn't over, so we all ran in to see the whole theater, 250 people, because they both sold out, almost erupted with applause.
And we knew the movie wasn't over, so we all ran in to see what had happened, what they were applauding for.
And it's the scene where they're at the tent city where all the miners are and their families in Mate One.
And the cops and the company, the guy the company flew flew in are there like you know cussing
people out telling them they got to clear this out and they're trying to in the tent city and
they're fighting people and these hill people come from out of the hills some men just start
walking out of the mountains with like muskets and the whole
the crowd erupted
in applause
the whole theater erupted in applause
that the hill people had come to save the day
and they shot off the shots
and ran the cops off
and one of the kids goes
buddy where'd you get that gun
and he said the war between the states
otherwise known as the great war of yankee aggression
between the states implies just two it's really it's a war amongst the states
a couple years ago i was um at a christmas party uh with my now my wife but it was then my
girlfriend and i was just kind of meeting her friends for the first time and uh this was at a Christmas party with my, now my wife, but it was then my girlfriend.
And I was just kind of meeting her friends for the first time. And this was at like this very fancy farmhouse.
And I was very out of place or semi out of place.
And I was kind of standing in the corner and she said, oh, yeah, this is my boyfriend,
Willie.
And her friend looks done.
It's like, oh, my God, you're dating Will Oldham?
She said, no, his name is just Willie.
It's like, you know, but he kind of looks like Will Oldham
and that like he looks weird.
And then she told me that.
And I was like, oh yeah, I guess I could see that.
And then she said, no, no, no, don't get me wrong.
I love his music. It's like, you didn't say that I could see that. And then she said, no, no, no, don't get me wrong. I love his music.
He didn't say that I sing like him.
That I write songs like him.
That you look weird.
I look weird.
Presumably in a similar way that he looks weird.
Right, right.
I love his music.
And nice to meet you.
I'm the other Willie.
Oh, shit.
I've never seen May 1.
It's a confession.
It's not very good.
It's not?
See, I feel like it's one of those movies that everybody...
Oh, at the end it's revealed it's not very good.
At the end, that's the twist.
It's one of those movies
where I feel like
everybody said
I should have watched it.
Everybody expects you
to have seen it.
You know what I mean?
It's one of those things.
What do you think is like,
either, okay,
one of two things here.
What do you think is like
the one thing
everybody recommends
that actually fucking sucks?
Or two,
the one thing everybody recommends that they haven't actually enjoyed themselves would be?
Say it again.
Any book rec I get, I assume people haven't read that book.
That's a lot.
Any time people say, oh, you should read this book, I'm like, you didn't read that book.
Especially if it's like, you know, like fucking Fahrenheit 151
or something.
Something like that you should have read.
Well especially if they say Fahrenheit 151
because it's Fahrenheit 151.
Did you just confuse?
Oh yeah, like Catch 23.
I think what you just did.
The Mediocre Gatsby.
The Okay Gatsby.
Everything I say is just slightly askew.
It's about 80% right.
If you're shooting 80%, you're doing pretty good, honestly.
Yeah, someone told me to read Fountainhead one time by Ayn Rand,
and I had so many questions and comments.
Did you say Ayn Rand?
Yeah, what's her name?
Ayn.
I don't know her fucking name. I think you got it. Did you say Ayn right? Yeah, what's her name? Ayn. Ayn.
I don't know her fucking name.
No, I mean,
I think you got it.
Or Ayn or Ayn.
Yeah, kiss my ass.
She's a lousy enough writer
that we have to,
we don't really have
to get her name right.
Yeah, fuck her.
Also, I've not actually read it,
so I'm doing the thing
that I just criticized Tom for.
It's this thick.
It's a huge book
and I was thinking.
I've not read
J.D. Vance's
Hillbilly Elegy.
I hear it's great though.
I've heard you guys
are big fans and so.
Yeah.
I didn't read that either.
Oh my God.
What you just did
was like you confused
Fahrenheit 451
with like that rum.
Bacardi 151.
That Bacardi 151.
That rum drink.
Bacardi 450.
Yeah.
Bacardi 451.
It's the sequel. 451. It's the sequel to Fahrenheit 451.
Bacardi 451.
It's a weird dystopia where everybody burns Bacardi.
They can't, they're certain.
I don't know.
I am curious about this because.
Isn't that the plot of Fahrenheit 451?
I didn't even consider it.
Yeah, they burn books and it's a guy who burns the books.
Not soon, I don't fucking know.
But it's great, you all should definitely read it.
What were you saying?
I'm interested in this because I feel like
a lot of people feel like they have to recommend things
out of guilt or out of like, well, clearly,
that's socially important, you must.
Like nine tenths of Oscar movies,
I don't think people enjoy.
Right, yes.
But it's like, who really watched The Hurt Locker?
What was that one last year that had gotten nominated
with like Ryan Gosling and he's a fucking dancer?
Moonlight.
La La Land.
La La Land.
Moonlight was good, Moonlight was good.
Moonlight was excellent.
They mixed it up, they called Moonlight's fun.
I don't know, I've not seen it.
I've got a young child at home.
I haven't seen a movie in a long time.
Moonlight's good.
I have not seen La La Land, though.
I don't know about it.
You know, I haven't either.
So it's really unfair for me.
I'm sure it's good, but do people really enjoy it?
I don't know.
Slumdog Millionaire?
I feel like, oh, you've got to see that.
It's just this one premise that we keep returning back to
and it's fucking obvious.
It's like, yeah, I get it already.
I mean, right.
I didn't see that one either.
What was the plot of that one?
There's this guy who burns books.
He's Indian this time.
Yeah.
I don't know. There are some things that I feel like
people just sort of
expected of you of the cultural
to have that kind of cultural knowledge
as a result you wind up
getting an opinion about lots
of shit you have not actually experienced
I feel like I
know what I think of a movie
before I see it all the time because I know that people I like tend to like it
or people I dislike tend to dislike yeah or too many people I like like it right
to go the other way yeah because you know obviously a bad I did that was sure
I did that with stranger things I watched like the first three episodes
and it quickly exploded and I was like oh oh no, I haven't seen it.
It's totally cowardice.
On my part.
Total cowardice.
But it's a very well done mediocre show.
But then it's like,
but everybody had just such weird opinions about it
that yeah, I mean I kind of,
it was like my opinion of the show is it's pretty good.
My opinion on your opinion is that you suck
because you like it way more than it's actually.
It's people like you that are killing stranger things.
Willie, you just described this podcast perfectly.
These are opinions about opinions.
It is sick.
Now I know why I hate this.
I think that's kind of every podcast.
These are opinions about opinions.
We are in a dark spiral here, people.
No, that's my grand vision. It's the. Opinions on opinions. We are in a dark spiral here, people. No, that's my grand vision.
Opinions on opinions.
Speaking of that, do y'all know that we were the subject of a podcast about podcasts this past week?
No, we weren't.
Were we?
Yeah.
Were we?
This is kind of like what we were talking about earlier, where we can't have a conversation outside of the podcast anymore.
But I feel like we just aren't friends anymore.
And so, yeah, we push ourselves as far apart as we can
so that when we come in, we'll have fresh shit to talk about.
Wait, you guys only invited me on this because you stopped liking me?
It's like, how are we going to stop hanging out with Willie?
Let's invite him on the podcast and then we can't talk to him about anything.
Just save it all up for a month
Get it over with in 45 minutes
We brought you in to facilitate
Like a group counseling thing
So save us a quarterly trip to Lexington
What was the podcast about podcasts?
It was called Podcasts Are Great
And it was funny because
They were talking about southern accents
And like this guy was from Georgia or somewhere.
And it's funny because somebody said this on the internet one time
when I Googled this.
But they were like...
He's got a Google Alert set.
Don't let him lie to you.
Yeah.
But this guy was like, those aren't Appalachian dialects.
Or those aren't southern accents.
Those are Appalachian dialects. Except aren't southern accents. Those are Appalachian dialects.
Except for Tom.
He's from Texas.
It's like Terrence is the one
kind of from Texas.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
I really hate it how...
They think you sound like Matthew McConaughey.
So the guy said that on the podcast?
No, he didn't say that on the podcast.
They mixed me and Terrence up on the podcast
But somebody had said
When my parents used to listen to us on the radio
My mom would be like that guy sounds like Matthew McConaughey
You've got the voice of fucking Matthew McConaughey
Take notes studios
If you want Matthew McConaughey
A fraction of the price
You've got your man
Seven eighths of the prize for voiceover. Yeah, you've got your man. Seven-eighths of the prize.
Seven-eighths.
You could do books, man.
You know how people like Brad Pitt reads books on tape?
He read this whole Cormac McCarthy Border Trilogy on tape.
You could do that, but as Matthew McConaughey.
Make a career out of that shit.
I don't know what his voice is except for his catchphrases
and stuff, I feel like that's kind of where
happy comedians go in and I don't even know
what his catchphrase is because I'd rather us
not all break into it, but I couldn't tell you
what his voice is, I mean he's from Texas I believe?
Yeah, you know, Dazed and Confused.
Yeah, gotcha So A
Happy
Stoner guy
I'm just happy because he's clearly very handsome
I'm gonna read
Fahrenheit 451
In the style of Matthew McConaughey
Yeah
Wait so what else did they say on the podcast?
Yeah what were their
Opinions about
Opinions about our opinions
They liked the podcast
They liked the
They did the episode we did with Campbell Robertson.
Did they throw up
on your guys' accents anymore?
Yeah.
The funny part was the one guy
was like, I'm taking points off because
Tom's from
Texas and he should have
more of an... I forget what he said.
It's like a points menu.
That's funny.
I like that at least somebody acknowledged
that there is no southern accent.
There are actually, I think like,
believe there are 34 distinct dialects.
And I mean, I don't necessarily sound like a southerner,
I don't really sound like another human
that I know, I sound kind of like a weirdo.
I think actually Bonnie Prince-Billy kind of sounds similar to me,
but I've been told.
But when I was in college and this guy was rehearsing his reading,
I studied creative writing because I'm pretentious,
and he was trying to – this was in Washington, D.C.,
and he was, I don't know where he's from.
He's from New England.
And he was trying to say something that happened in Louisiana.
He said, Willie, you're from the South.
How do you pronounce this word?
And how would they pronounce it in Louisiana?
I was like, well, I mean,
I'm as far away from Louisiana as I am from Boston.
You wouldn't say, you're from the East Coast.
He's like, no, but you know, do it with your,
like the way that you sound,
maybe a little less educated.
I was like, yeah, you don't have to really spell it out. I'll give what you said. Really church it up for us. Be a little less educated.
Yeah, you don't have to really spell it out.
Really church it up for us.
No, it's the worst when people say, say this.
Will you say this again?
No, bitch, I won't.
Say nothing again. Oh, hell, you love it.
I don't get that because I think everybody thinks I'm from Ohio.
It's just because you're congested.
It's just, yeah, you're right.
When I'm sick, I'm sorry.
Dry asthma.
When I lived in D.C. and Baltimore, I would do readings,
and a lot of times people would come up to me and was like,
I thought that was so funny how you did the characters in that southern voice.
I was like, oh, yeah, thanks.
They were like, oh, that's really your voice?
That makes me enjoy your story less
I thought you were being funny
You were in fact
I love your music, by the way
Yeah
Well, speaking of mixing you two up
Somebody emailed us this week
And Tom replied
And when the guy messaged back
He said, oh great Are you the asshole or the funny one?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, no, no, no.
The pretty one.
The pretty one.
He said, are you the funny one or the pretty one?
Oh, okay.
That's what he was talking about.
Must have been a Freudian slip.
Yeah, they never called me back.
You know, it's just kind of weird sometimes.
They didn't come to the show?
It's kind of weird sometimes, because sometimes people will say things that, you know, it's just kind of weird sometimes. They didn't come to the show? It's kind of weird sometimes because sometimes people will say things that, you know, you're not really on that level with them yet.
You're just like.
I'm always a little suspicious.
You're trying to be funny.
People try to bro up to you a little too soon.
You're right.
I don't know you like that, man.
Yeah, bro.
Can't call me pretty yet.
Yeah.
I think it's cause
You called me a twink
Halfway between a twink
And an otter
On an episode
And so
I've heard
I did that
Yeah
I can see that
I've heard several people
No I was gonna say
Why would you
Oh yeah I can see that
Total twotter
Yes
Twotter
T-Ray the twotter
Damn
Owned
On my own podcast
I'll have you know he is not the asshole
He is the Twatter
Or the pretty one
I don't know
He is the pretty one especially on that
God damn train picture we took
I'm holding that fucking
Me and Tom look like complete idiots.
I look like...
Speak for yourself.
I look like, what's her name on the Titanic?
Kate Winslet.
Rose.
Rose.
I'm holding that wheel.
They ran that shit in the newspaper.
So that means every person in Lexington saw us.
Looking like dumbasses.
Hanging off a caboose. So i might have sent this in text form but i'll tell it so my mother lives in lexington and she said hey have you heard about
this uh podcast in whitesburg it sounds like something you would like i was like oh yeah
you know i'm friends with those friends with those guys that that's awesome. She's like, yeah, it was, I mean it was strange,
but I will listen to whatever NPR puts out, so.
We're syndicated.
My mom had the most confused,
it was like what is happening with Garrison Keyes?
He sounds like Matthew McConaughey.
And it was that twatter he
keeps talking oh my god can you imagine can you imagine a worse uh like ad for like left-wing
politics than us three hanging off a rusty caboose like i cannot join the movement yeah the train's
left we're the remnant.
Oh my god.
Didn't have the heart to tell it wasn't an NPR podcast. No, I was like, yeah, that's awesome.
I am so glad NPR came through for them.
We should start doing that.
I mean, we should make NPR disavow us.
No, now that we're signed with NPR now,
we got signed.
We're gonna come outside.
Well, my suggestion was instead of doing Patreon,
start every podcast by saying,
I wanna talk to you for a minute about Squarespace.
Squarespace will literally give you herpes if you use it.
And say, okay, come on Squarespace, literally give you herpes If you use it And say okay come on Squarespace
You fund us and then we'll stop saying this about you
OJ Simpson just got out of jail
A lot of people blame him for the murders
But you know who doesn't have an alibi
Stamps.com
This ideal left us advertising
I had
This is a true story
I had Tempur-Pedic
Almost talked into giving us a sponsorship
I still don't understand how that slipped through your fingers
We were going to get a free band
All because of our fucking heartburn
That's hilarious
That would be a great ad
My name's Terrence His name's Tom We both our fucking heartburn. That's hilarious. That would be a great ad. My name's Terrence.
His name is Tom.
We both suffer from heartburn.
Tempur-pedic mattresses are able to recline the back
to where you are.
It goes down instead of comes up.
Your acid all night.
Improved my sex life by tenfold.
It's got one of those graphics where I'm pushing the acid down.
It's got one of those graphics where I'm pushing the acid down.
You guys are just doing the commercial
even though they didn't pay you.
I know, I'm not here to help.
Why are you doing this?
Owned again. Do not buy a Tempur-Pedic.
Owned again. He just told us
this is the opposite of that.
Unless you were gonna do one anyway.
For the record, I don't sleep on a Tempur-Pedic.
I sleep on a fuckin fucking pissy warehouse mattress
I found in 97.
This is the episode
of Ownage for sure.
And his sex life
is 10% better
because he stopped
using stamps.com.
Come and get us stamps.
Come on, man.
We just need like
$100 an episode. Oh, Lord dollars an episode oh my god somebody told me that um
there's like you know how they have like these like like uh boutique like cut out the middleman
stuff for everything like mattresses and all this stuff yeah so he was telling me about an adult
diaper service it's like supposed to be like discreet but like they're somehow they're passing the savings on
to you because they don't use like logos yeah yeah I feel like you're gonna save
all this money pass the savings right along to you and somebody was saying
that maybe that we should that like they give out like free advertising to oh yeah or not i'm sorry that
they like give out like money to like podcasts to right plug them it'd be very on brand for us
to plug it up adult diapers yeah jesus well why don't you wait till they fund you before you plug
retraction
Retraction Adult diapers
Give you heartbeats too
What were you saying earlier Tom
You threw out
A hypothetical
It was like
Name one thing
That everybody
Is supposed to
What was it
What did you say
That everybody recommends
That's completely overrated
Or that everybody recommends
That they've clearly not
Read or watched themselves.
Because what I was going to say about that is I have
actually done that.
I think I've actually
recommended something you didn't read yourself.
Oh yeah, I've done it several times.
We all do it
when we share articles.
I'm not the only person that's shared an article
that they've not read in its entirety.
I never learned how to read.
We're just sharing headlines.
Right, I skim through and I see if I know any names
or just the broad details and I'm just like, oh yeah.
This aligns with my values.
Yeah, I did that the other day and somebody said,
wait are you guys libertarians?
And I was like, eh, should have did the reading.
I don't fully feel this way anymore,
but I briefly went through a period where I thought everybody was just playing a big prank on Neil Young
and nobody really liked him.
Because I was like, I don't get it.
I don't get it.
I'm listening.
Like, wait, seriously?
Oh, oh, wait, I'm in on this joke?
Are we all?
But I've now realized that a lot of people like Neil Young.
Yeah.
I still don't get it.
He's not the worst, but he's just not for me.
And so that's one of the things that I thought.
A lot of Trill Billy fans.
That's coming from a Bob Dylan diehard.
Well, that's the thing.
I love Bob Dylan.
I love Tom Waits.
I love Shane McGowan and Scratchy Voices
and people that sound like they swallowed a razor blade,
but Neil Young, I just don't get it.
I feel like on the Neil Young, Trill Billy's Venn diagram,
the shaded area is pretty large.
This will be a controversial stance
within the Trill Billy's canon universe.
I do not like Neil Young.
I'm gonna go ahead and push back on both of them.
I never have.
So we're 50-50 Neil Young fans?
Yep.
I like Neil Young.
I love Neil Young.
I like Neil Young.
I think both things can coexist.
We can share this space together.
Share it.
It's just Tanya and I will be slightly higher
on this space.
Interesting.
Interesting. That's probably the first time anybody has actually said that they're higher than you on one of them. higher on this space. Interesting, interesting.
That's probably the first time anybody has actually said
that they're higher than you on one of them.
All conflicts start out like this.
Yeah, that's true.
It's like, oh, this should be fine.
Well, you know, you wanna make America great again?
I have different ideas about how to make America great again.
This should be fine.
I guess it's more of like, you want to watch The Apprentice?
I'd rather watch something else.
But either way, I don't see what the harm could be.
Do y'all remember before Snapchat or Vine, the five-second films?
Do you remember this?
I don't think I do.
Never mind.
No. They just said a lot of good. of wait are you recommending something that you haven't
no no no I'm not going to recommend it they just had
a few really good
Neil Young
there were some really good
five second films making fun of Neil Young fans
but
I wonder if they even
what's a Neil Young fan look like
um probably but I wonder if they even exist. What's a Neil Young fan look like?
Probably, you are all looking at me.
They look like you. You're all looking at me.
I look like a Neil Young fan.
Like somewhere between a twink and an otter.
A twotter.
Is the ideal Neil Young fan somewhere between a twink and an otter?
Shit. Is the ideal Neil Young fan Somewhere between a twink and a nod Shit You're gonna make me have an identity crisis
On my own podcast
They say I'm a twink
They say I'm a nodder
Who am I
Don't put me in a box
I feel like Neil Young fans are probably more like
Between otters and bears though
You know I don't really
A lot of my friends love him.
My wife loves him.
I have tons of people who just think he hung the moon.
You know, it depends because there are some situations
in which I wouldn't have the energy to fight that battle.
Like that to me is like, you know what I mean?
You won't die on that mountain.
I won't die on that hill.
Like I don't feel that strongly about it.
Sure.
I'm trying to distance myself from it.
Distance yourself from Neil Young.
Now that I know it's unpopular.
I don't see how flaky, buddy.
Whatever you like, that's cool.
I'm like Judas.
I'm fucking Judas.
You really are.
I'm a total coward.
You now find out that a lot of people like Neil Young.
You're like, well, I gotta be the contrarian.
Oh, man.
So, yeah, I don't know.
Is Mate One like Neil Young?
Is it a film that's supposed to be?
I like it.
That's probably a very regional one.
I was thinking more broadly.
I like Mate One, but it's two and a half hours long.
I ain't trying to sit through nothing for two and a half hours
Damn
Two and a half hours
It's brutal
I think that's also part of the
Things that people recommend that maybe they don't
Really like because it's like
I should say
I said Mate 1 is not
Very good I haven't seen it since I was a kid
So I don't know but I said Mate 1 is not very good. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, so I don't know.
But I just remember being like an emotionally taxing thing,
and it's like it's two and a half hours.
So it's kind of like, you know.
And you're a kid.
She said, I haven't been in it since I was a kid.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You actually were in an Apple shot movie when you were a kid.
No, I was second place.
Ned Beatty, right?
No, no, no. I thought you were in the Ned Beatty film no no I was second place I was gonna be Wilgus Collier in the uh the telling of Fat Monroe and it's a
Gurney Norman story I I love Gurney Norman was a writing mentor of mine I love Gurney Norman
um now this was like eight or something and so yeah he read at my. I love Gurney Norman. I was like eight or something.
Yeah, he read it at my wedding.
Gurney's great.
And so I was rehearsing to play Wilgus Collier
and they gave it to somebody else.
Not bitter.
I guess I had a Berenstain Bears moment with that.
For some reason, I was convinced you were actually in.
I remember seeing you as Will this time.
Yeah, you were in that movie, so I swear to God, I will die on this film.
Yeah, no, no.
Well, I mean, maybe I was, and I just blocked it out.
You were on that film.
I'm like, oh my God, movies are lies.
They're told to say that.
Oh, shit. Oh, wow. They're told to say that Oh shit
Oh wow
Well I was gonna say
That would be one
Yet one more similarity
Between you and Will Oldham
Child actors
Child stars
Child stars
Come to think of it
Have you ever seen
Willie and Will Oldham
In the same room together
Think about it
No
Glad we got to the bottom of that Well we got to the bottom Yeah Thank you, Banner. No.
Glad we got to the bottom of that one.
Well, we got to the bottom.
Although I did see Will yesterday,
and you would have had to use a lot of nail polish remover to have gotten these clean hands by today.
A lot of rumors flying around about yesterday.
Multiple members of the Trailbillies passed away.
Will Oldham being Willie Davis and being in two places at once.
A lot of rumors.
Spooky shit.
I understand.
It's like Superman and Clark Kent, except for my superhero is that I'm an obscure folk singer with certain eccentricities.
obscure folk singer with certain eccentricities
that appeared in a
movie in the 80s.
Well, before we end the episode, though,
do you have anything you want to plug, Willie?
I have a novel coming out next year.
You should all buy it.
It's called Nightwolf
by Willie Davis.
That's not part of the title.
Presumably will be on the cover in case you're curious.
Is that a different Night Wolf?
What if it came out and it wasn't your name on it?
And that's what the novel was actually about.
A writer who thinks a book is about...
There was a different person who wrote a different novel.
It was called Fahrenheit 451.
Right.
I think I'd survive.
I think I'd survive.
What can you tell us about Nightwolf?
You want to keep us mostly in suspense?
No, I mean, I'm still in the editing process.
But when I was living in D.C., there was this tagger who would go around town called Borf, B-O-R-F.
And he would just write the name Borf on stuff.
And he had like this stencil that he would draw in of a little kid.
And then he would write on he would write on newspaper boxes and he would say things
like yup borf writes on newspaper boxes too and i was like really rooting for the guy i was like
all right good job man and you know it was everywhere and he like went to different cities
i remember going up to boston once and seeing borf there yeah And I was like, whoa! Borff does Boston. Yeah, Borff does Boston.
And like, I don't know what his message was
or if there was, but like it was really every,
and then there was like, there was one neighborhood guy
who just bought a bunch of paint
and painted over Borff wherever he saw it.
And I remember, and then the Washington Post
like did an interview with him where he was anonymous.
And he was like this 17 year old kid.
His buddy committed suicide. He was very sad.
And he would say things like, well, yeah, no age is just a social construct.
You can. And he was anonymous. He was like showing up wearing masks.
Now, of course, Washington Post figured out who he was. Right.
But they didn't run it until he got arrested one day.
So then they did then they released everything.
And so it was from that kind of, I guess, seed.
This novel is about a tagger around Lexington.
These are Appalachian people who are in Lexington.
And the tagger goes by the name of Nightwolf, and he's riding on, you know, Nightwolf on everything.
And our main character, realistically my main character, is this derelict junkie kid who he's living with a mother who has dementia, and he is convinced that Nightwolf is his runaway
brother and so he has to go and find Nightwolf and try to bring him to sort of make his family
good so that's that's that plot so I recommend you read it I highly recommend you read it but
more than that I recommend that you recommend it to your friends yes I would really you read it. I highly recommend you read it, but more than that, I recommend that you recommend it
to your friends.
Yes.
I would really love it if you bought it.
Again, you don't have to read it.
But buying it would be just really so sweet of you.
You could do the thing that we were saying earlier.
Yeah.
Buy it and say you read it.
Tom Sexton called it the best novel he's read
since Fahrenheit 151.
Bacardi 451.
That should be on the jacket. It'll be out next summer I believe, yeah.
You really could, you could put that on the back jacket.
It would probably add some sort of name cache to it.
Yeah.
Oh man, I don't know though.
Just get worms from all of us.
Yeah, I don't know, it could be a bad association.
Somebody in a bookstore.
No, they'll say like,
well shit, if Matthew McConaughey likes this.
NPR endorsed this book?
Whoa man, they've got no standards to them.
What's going on over there?
And so when did you say it comes out?
Next summer.
Okay.
Wow. 2000. What about you all?
What are you all promoting?
Only our Patreon
Thanks for setting that up
Give us free money
Thanks for setting that up
Except for youstamps.com
Lowly pieces of shit
Oh shit Wow This all can't recover
from this day i'm stuck that's so good this is a good one yeah i thought we were gonna get to
hear your square dance caller while you were here. Oh yeah.
Well, I mean, I heard you all talk about it, but like, you know, it's as much of your all's as it's mine.
They were said like, oh, Willie Davis does this bit where,
and it's like, well, I'm not on Saturday Night Live.
I'm not a standup comedian.
I'm a writer and teacher.
But like the idea is,
it started out, I would sometimes just as a joke, I would think, I would send to friends, say like, no, but I remember there was never a report about Building 7.
How did that fall?
Jet fuel doesn't burn like that, and can't nobody can prove it and then i would send a text immediately after and say i'm sorry that wasn't intended for you and just like
see if they would then bring it up later and once i got once i got drunk and did it to the same guy
twice and he's like yeah you've already done me but then I kind of got to like
as I was doing that uh like we were here in Whitesburg there was a square dance here at
Apple Shop and you know their square dances are nice and you know kind of in between like when
they're doing the call and doing the call they like sometimes uh call out something it was like
all right now everybody jump around.
I guess that's more House of Pain.
A lot of people make that mistake.
A lot of people make that mistake.
No, but the whole thing is like, as they were doing
it's like, okay, now how did Building 7
fall?
And if it was just like
a conspiracy theorist
Square dance caller
And so he's like
Tell your girl just how you feel
Jet fuel's hot but it can't melt steel
Do-si-do
Promenade
Grab your partner front to back sir
Sandy Hook was a bunch of actors.
Oh, fuck.
Now, about your square.
The thing is, he would have to always say it back to an actual square dance.
Oh, my fucking God.
How long does it take for people to be like,
no, what the hell's going on around here?
It's like the square dance where people are just slowly stopping moving.
Wait a second.
Did you hear that?
Oh my god.
Holy shit, man.
I have to clean my glasses.
Oh man. I have to clean my glasses. Oh, man.
What's a really old conspiracy theory?
The moon.
The moon.
The moon land.
It's not real.
I heard someone...
The one about the moon being not real.
That's a new conspiracy as I just made it up.
Of course the moon land is fake.
There's this guy in Lexington. I guess I probably shouldn't say his name.
But like, Please do.
I'm sure he'd be okay with it.
And then we can get money out of him later.
No, cause. To retract it.
We started at sams.com.
We meant to pick on just crazy people.
But he would like, I was just having coffee near the guy
and he was looking up and he's like,
ah, this makes me really upset.
So he's like, you see those clouds up there?
Those aren't clouds.
Those are the government's putting out poisonous beans.
Kim Trails.
Kim Trails, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, sure they are, sure they are.
Maybe you'll go over there and I'll go.
But then he was so full of information,
30% of it was true and 70% was not.
And I kind of was like,
I should do a story on this guy.
And I set up a time to interview him.
And he had so many conspiracy theories that I decided as he was talking, OK, IK was shot because he was gonna reveal the truth
about how aliens live amongst us.
And then before there's even a break in his diatribe,
he says, and you know why JFK was shot, right?
I was like, well, he's gonna tell the truth about aliens.
I'm like, oh Christ, I can't even help it.
Oh my God.
But conspiracies go beyond that.
I was thinking of that, yeah that while you were saying that.
Something like, run your girl around some hay, Lee Harvey Oswald with CIA.
That's bad.
That's pretty bad.
No, I like it.
It's an odd square dance move to run your girl around some hay. It's about, it's pretty bad. No, I like it, it's an odd square dance move
to run your girl around some hay.
It's about decent tweaking.
Yeah, no, no, it's good.
There's hay on the floor, presumably,
because you're at a square dance.
Well, I think it's, we've kind of reached
the end of conspiracy theories.
Like, conspiracy theorists now, they're like,
no, but you need to look into Bush's ties
to Halliburton.
I was like, yeah, that's very open.
Nobody hides anything because we just stop caring
about shit.
Or the thing about the New World Order,
I mean it's like true.
They don't call it that.
Yeah, they don't call it that.
It's just a bunch of.
It's not the secret cabal.
It's just like the 1%.
It's just a small consortium of people with a lot of fucking money
oh my god
that's the thing with those conspiracy theories
their general premise is usually spot on
but they just come up with these bat shit
ways of
making sense of it
my favorite is
Beyonce and Jay Z's Illuminati
what is the Illuminati.
What is the Illuminati? Good question.
The Illuminati.
If you guys wanna sponsor us,
we will not talk bad about you, Illuminati.
I understand you guys need some good press.
That would be tight.
They do need some good press.
That would be tight.
We would totally take the Illuminati.
Today's Trailbillies is brought to you by Illuminati.
When you wanna control the world,
but you don't want anybody to know it's you,
Illuminati.
Illuminati.
Oh my God.
Shit.
God bless you.
Wow.
Sponsored by Let's hear from our corporate sponsors
The Illuminati at Stamps.com
Also brought to you
By Lagunitas
Lagunitas
And APR
Is our label
That's our label.
That's our label.
I feel like that's remote.
I feel like NPR might sue us.
Well, that's like, we could be like the Car Talk guys and be like,
well, though they might deny it while we're on the radio,
we're brought to you by NPR.
Hey, we told you that we're going to deny it.
You know, that's one of the Underlooked
Inspirations for this show
Actually
In all the interviews
We've given
Or in all the critiques
Of the show
People haven't noticed
That very obvious influence
We were very obviously
Inspired by click and clack
Yeah
But
If that says chop
That's really the
It's
Click and clack
The tappet brother
It's car talk
Do we cheat them in hell?
Oh man
I once thought
Those guys are probably really racist
The car talk
Boston Italians
No
Yes
I'm sure they're not
Like you know
I don't know
They're absolutely racist
This is a joke I would say amongst friends
And now I'm saying it like into
The vast million hordes of Trailbillies listeners
and I'm like, oh man, what if one of them's dead?
What if his widow hears or something?
And then what if she attacks me
because my mom's Jewish?
Oh my God.
You racist piece of shit.
No, I don't know, I just hear the heavy Boston accent
and I was like, oh yeah, they're racist.
I think it's fair to say there's a non-zero chance
that they're racist.
Yeah, there's a non-zero chance.
Yeah.
And we can say this because we have
melodious Appalachian accents
and so therefore nobody assumes we're racist.
Oh my God, we're awful. Not at all.
We've become the very thing we criticized.
What a lesson for this episode.
We were all along. Yeah, yeah.
That's not a twist.
That one's in the opening credits.
Well, let's put a bow on that.
All right. It's 53 minutes.
That's a good radio.
I say, is that a drink from my... I should have told y'all, today I went into the Wine Wars.
The Wine Wars?
The Wine Wars Museum in Whitewant,
and I had to convince the tour director that UMWA was socialist organizing back then.
And that most of these people were socialists.
Because they literally had like Socialist Party of America stuff on the wall.
And he was like, no, those had nothing to do with socialism.
So we kind of got into it in front of the tour.
Really?
Yeah.
Damn.
I immediately wanted to walk it all back.
I immediately wanted to be like,
never mind, man.
These are milquetoast liberals.
It's all just a joke.
It's all just shit.
Yes, all right, dude.
Carry on, carry on.
There's nothing like that realization
that you've misread your audience.
For more examples of that, tune in next week to The Trailbillies, that you've misread your audience. Perpetual.
For more examples of that, tune in next week
to the Trail Bellies, brought to you by
the Illuminati and Squarespace.
Fuck stamps.com.
Those sons of bitches, I'll fucking kill them.
Fuck em.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow. Damn, this was like my Michael Jordan.
Like, I fucking played through a goddamn flu.
Yeah?
I played through the flu.
I am so spacey-headed right now.
Like, this allergy is like, I can't even put my thoughts together.
I'm like stumbling through my jokes.
But we did good.
It was pretty good.
It was our flu game.
It was our flu game.
I feel fine, but I'm drinking beer.
They sent a text that said,
it's okay if you want to bring beer.
I was like, well, I always assumed it was okay
if I wanted to bring beer.
I was like, well, am I bringing beer for everybody?
Oh, man.
Well, last night I was pretty fucked up,
and I was just staring into oblivion.
And I was just like, I'm going to feel really awful tomorrow.
But I could just get really drunk before the show today
and just sort of play through it.
I mean, it immediately occurred to me how sad of a statement that was.
I just love that you brought all your beer in a cloth backpack.
Yeah, that was a nice touch.
A 12-year-old's cooler.
That was a nice touch.
That's perfect.
Yeah.
That is an accurate statement.
I've been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to work in one more Bonnie Prince Billy as Willie did.
My ship never came in.
Oh, man.
The closest I came was when he was talking about doing the profile on the guy.
And I was like, so did that profile on Bonnie Prince Billy ever run?
I guess it wasn't that fun.
Never pan out.
I forgot Joe Bug
told me he was 13
when Space Jam came out.
I think that's probably true.
Joe Bug was 13
when Space Jam came out.
Kiss your ass.
That would make,
y'all said that would
make him 39?
You think there's a possibility Joe Bugg's in his 30s?
That would mean...
There's no way Joe Bugg was 8 when I was born.
You all think he's older?
This is the issue?
I think Joe Bugg is 46 years old.
So you're hogging over seven years.
I'm setting the over- over under 46 and a half years
for Joe Buck.
Well, let's settle it and bring the carnies back
and put him in the booth where the guy guesses
your weight and age.
That's a thing at the carnival?
Yeah, you've never seen that?
Carny a little offensive.
It is.
No, I'm not saying it's offensive.
I'm saying it's a real thing that they guess your weight and age.
They do?
Yeah, it's for sociopaths to be like, all right, well, you're fat and old.
What the fuck is this horror show?
I didn't know about this.
They couldn't quite make it as like a roast comic, so they come in as like a carnival
barker.
Let me tell you, how old do you look?
Oh my God.
You put your $20 bill in this bowl or something,
and you write down your age and your weight or your birthday or some shit,
and you slide it in.
And if they get it within three pounds or three days or three years
or whatever the fuck, they take your $20.
Right?
You never seen this?
Damn, that's a really grotesque.
That actually seems illegal.
It's a really grotesque.
It seems like they're really just stealing $20 from you.
And important information they could use to hack your computer.
You know, like when you're...
Guess your password.
It's the Illuminati!
What was your childhood pet name?
Oh, shit.
What would a A conspiracy theorist
Carnival Barker
Sound like
Give me that guy
Smoking a Randy's
Conspiracy theory
Carnival what
Barker
You know like
The step right up
Roll up
Roll up
Roll up
See the man
Who actually believes
The liberal media.
Roll up, roll up.
Everybody in because you're sheep.
I'll give you three chances to knock those bottles down, and children, I implore you, take out your mercury fillings.
Oh, my God. bottles down and children I implore you take out your mercury fillings oh my god it kills me every time you say that
damn
children I implore you
so good
so were there any jello shots at the show last night?
No, there were no jello shots.
That's a shame.
I got pretty drunk.
Are we just doing B-roll at this point?
Yeah, I guess.
Isn't it all B-roll?
Is there a difference?
We're just riffing.
Okay.
We're just talking shit.
Well, Inquiring Minds needs you all to give a full rundown of the First Life Tribbley show.
It was great.
It was great.
I mean, it was perfect.
I mean, the only thing that could have made it more perfect is if you would have dished the Bonnie Prince for us.
You know, whatever.
We're going to have him.
Bonnie Prince.
Yeah.
He'll be the second one in our little series.
We'll get the Bonnie Prince in.
Oh, yeah.
He can be our next show.
Oh, yeah.
We should get Will. He would totally do it. Willie just shows up. series we'll get the Bonnie Prince and oh yeah and when people ask us like what
are you talking about it could be like a what was the guy's name? Charlie Kaufman.
Oh yeah, Tony Clifton.
Tony Clifton.
Charlie, Andy Kaufman.
Andy Kaufman.
Andy Kaufman and Tony Clifton was his alter ego
that he would mess up and just start abusing people.
He'd be like, oh yeah, it's funny.
It's not really me.
Which is, of course, wonderful. Wouldn't he do shows where he would read and like you know he'd be like oh yeah it's funny it's not really me which is
of course a wonderful
brain of his
yeah wouldn't he do
shows where he would
like read the entire
Great Gatsby
like beginning to end
well no that was
Andy Kaufman
as Andy Kaufman
he would go out
he would just read the
and then
he had a record player
on stage
and they would start
booing and he'd say
oh wait
would you rather me
play a record
like yeah
play the
and so he'd play the record
and the record was just a recording of him
reading The Great Gatsby.
It's all these things.
I think they sound very funny
like when we're telling them to each other,
but like actually being there.
I don't imagine there was a joke in it.
Did y'all record with Glory Fires?
Uh-uh, not at all.
I think it take off.
It'd be a morgantown tonight.
We just had a fucking day yesterday.
We just didn't get a minute.
It was a full day.
Free minute.
This is my last Tuesday.
All the minutes.
Yeah.
It's a really good feeling when a thing that has been causing you stress is no longer causing you stress.
Very good feeling.
But you're just looking at Twitter
while your coworker is speaking.
Twitter.com.
Right, right.
Unplugged.
Right.
Or fully plugged in.
Yeah, that went well.
The show went well.
Good.
The Kanawha Valley
I think that's what they said
the DSA chapter was at the event
I totally missed them
I didn't see them at all
I don't know how it happened
but they were like
they had a table set up
and everything
huh
it's cause I was working
the fucking merch table
and god damn it
if every other old man
didn't look at the tag
on the t-shirt and say
where was this made
you know we make t-shirts here in West Virginia.
Have a great show, man.
Thanks for coming by.
It was good talking to you.
Wait, what?
Keep it moving.
They were looking through the tags to see where the t-shirts were made to complain about it being from Nicaragua.
You should have.
You should have.
You should have.
Really?
I swear to Christ.
You should have went back with them and looked at their tag and said,
Polycott and Bland, huh?
We don't support the mixing of fabrics around these parts.
Yeah.
I have you know I'm Jewish.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah, these people.
Damn.
The shit people choose to get mad about.
A woman stormed in,
came in at nine o'clock
and was like,
yeah, we're so excited for the show.
We were like,
oh, well, you know,
it's almost,
the movie's almost over,
but you're here in time for the Q&A.
And she was like,
what?
The internet said
it started at nine o'clock.
And I was like,
no, it started at seven.
And then she started like
using all these blame
words
and I said
you
accusatory
and I said well ma'am
we are damn near sold out of people
who arrived at 7pm so I'm not sure
how this could possibly
register your complaint with Charles
Edward Internet
who obviously had a mistake on his glorious how this could possibly... You need to register your complaint with Charles Edward Internet,
who obviously had a mistake on his glorious
publication.
Why don't you contact Google Caudle
and Etsy Banks.
Tell them just
how you're feeling.
Oh my God. That's a good one.
Maybe we should.
That'll be our first.
Angel Fire Adams.
Pinterest Frazier.
Angel Fire Adams is exactly right.
Ask Jeeves Boggs.
The common East Kentucky name, Ask Jeeves Boggs.
Old Siri Smith. Ask J Ask James Boggs. Old Siri Smith.
Ask James Boggs.
I like the clash of cultures there.
This refined British hillbilly kid.
Yes, yes.
Zanga.
What's a good... We did have a Zanga now.
Zanga Banks would be good. No, it was Zanga now. Zanga Banks would be good.
No, it was Etsy Banks.
Zanga Banks is a good porn name, I would say.
Are Zanga and Etsy twins?
We could work that into a bit for sure.
Oh, shit.
In the Trillbillies universe, there is an entire...
They are twins and Eskimo brothers.
Entire genealogical tree of this.
Well, we'll just make that into a...
What do they call the radio plays?
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh.
We've talked about them before.
Yeah, I had a roommate one time
who used to listen to this British one
like all the time.
They were so intense.
Oh, like the... what's the family?
I don't know.
It's like a really popular British radio drama.
Popular British radio play.
It's been going on for like 18 years
and now it's changed mediums.
It's not on the radio anymore, it's on the internet.
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
Yeah.
My ex-girlfriend used to listen to that shit.
We could do that with, sorry.
No, no.
I want them to sponsor us
and then Tom to do the introduction.
My ex-girlfriend found this amusing
for some fucking reason.
I don't know.
Maybe you will too.
I don't get British humor, really.
I find most English people pretty funny and charming,
but I don't get their like, you know.
Yeah.
You didn't like old Greg? pretty funny and charming, but I don't get their like, you know. Yeah. Their, their.
You didn't like old Greg?
I thought it was funny,
cause it was really fucking weird, and kinda.
Do you think people recommend it
because they think British people sound smart
without actually enjoying it themselves?
I think that's exactly what it is.
I think that's exactly what it is.
Interesting.
I got a couple hot takes about that.
Let's hear it.
Yeah.
I'm going to dismantle a few sacred cows real quick.
I'll start the oven up for you.
All right.
Preheat me.
I'll preheat the oven.
Monty Python.
Life of Brian.
Overrated.
Interesting.
Let's see.
What else do I find stupid that a lot of people like?
So you're saying, but just Life of Brian.
I think a lot of it's dumb.
Some of it's all right.
Holy Grail?
That's the best one.
You get we're on a podcast.
He rolled his eyes.
It doesn't really translate.
I wonder how often we do that.
That's true.
This is going to have to become a YouTube podcast
because we have so much nonverbal language to share.
If we ever become a YouTube podcast,
fucking murder me.
Last night we were talking about...
John Lennon style.
Who's the better office, British or America?
What's that?
Who did the better TV show of The Office,
the British version with Ricky Gervais
or the American one?
I hate both of them.
I was going to say the same thing.
I never saw the British one.
No, it's not that I hate it.
I've not actually watched the British version.
Yeah, you know.
It's really funny.
I've never watched it either.
But also, I like Monty Python, so what do I know?
I know.
I'm over here like.
I like everything except for
Neil Young.
Using coconuts
to make the sound of a horse
is brilliant.
And riding a fake horse. I'm sorry.
That is genius. And I will laugh
every time. Say that again.
He walks behind a guy
on a fake horse
Using coconuts
To make the sound of a
Like uh
Okay I'll walk that one back
A little bit
They like shit like Flight of the Conchords
And shit like that
Not British, New Zealand
Somewhere in the empire
Too many dicks on the dance floor
Dance floor Too many dicks on the dance floor dance floor
too many dicks
that's a flat of the concourse song
I don't know flat of the concourse either
I don't actually
I'm so cynical
and irony poison
that I don't actually like anything
he only cares about his twin dads
he likes sarcastically things
guys I gotta get a drink of water He likes sarcastically things.
We'll pause for some station identification.
A word from our sponsor.
I'm assuming we're deep into the B-roll here, right?
Deep, deep into the B-roll. I don't want people knowing that I dislike Morgan Freeman's acting.
Controversy.
I'm going to make terrible assumptions about you.
But you'll stand by your...
But you love his commercial.
But you'll stand by your...
But you love his commercial.
By your earlier Neil Young.
From what I hear, he's a very nice man,
but I don't know him.
Sure he is.
Interesting.
You saying we're going to have a station ID
reminded me that the other day I was listening to WMT
and I heard Terrence,
one of Terrence's PSAs about water quality.
Oh, shit.
And it's so funny. It's such a
funny. Every time I hear it I laugh and I thought
we should play that. We should put that
in the podcast. In an episode. Yeah we should stick that
in an episode for sure.
It was so goddamn funny and it's got a
really corny.
He's like do you have you seen bad water
in your community? It was this thing
I had to do when I worked at Advoices.
So funny.
Yes, they made me do it.
If you give your name, we'll never release it
to the media.
Just like clearly. Okay, dude.
And the tone of voice.
What's the name of people who have
given their names to this?
Google Coddle.
We will release your name
unless you sponsor.
Buckle up. Oh, man. Google Coddle. We will release your name unless you sponsor me.
Buckle up.
Oh, man.
It's the Trailbillies hostage podcast.
Damn.
We should extort Jim Webb,
or we're going to put that story out about the accordion.
He would probably love that.
Yeah.
Jim Webb is a firm believer that there is no bad press.
No such thing as bad press.
Frank's Gun and Pond,
the friendly gun shop.
Booth just laid off 100 people.
Did y'all hear this?
It's flown under the radar somehow.
I got one.
Napster Ratliff.
Oh.
That was a little rugged, actually.
Napster Ratliff.
I don't know how I feel about it.
I like it.
It rolls off the tongue.
I got my list.
It seems like it could actually be a real name.
Napster Ratliff.
Napster wouldn't be the weirdest holler name I'd ever heard.
No.
That's hilarious. What't be the weirdest holler name I'd ever heard. No. That's hilarious.
What would be the weirdest?
My mamaw was named Minerva Dean.
That's badass.
Scratch Collins is a pretty good one.
Damn.
Scratch.
That's not a nickname either.
You know that thing where your porn name is like the name,
the first name is the name of your first pet
and your last name is the name of your first pet and this your
last name is the name of the street you grew up on mine would be tubby chuck
wagon good shit because ever you couldn't do that because I'm sure that
that has been taken I was cuckold porn that I actually found for Tubby Chuckwagons. Wait, so it's your first pet's name
and the street you grew up on?
Yeah.
Mine would be Pokey Straight Creek.
That's pretty good.
If you're ever in a forum
at 2am and you see someone
arguing
with someone else over
like
May 1 or whatever.
If you're ever in a forum at 2 a.m.
And the name is Tubby Chuckwagon is probably me.
I'm just kidding.
I have a very vast online Reddit presence.
That's got to be your handle for all your stuff.
Yeah, I need to start using that.
Mine would be Patches Alaska.
I guess I'm doxing myself.
I shouldn't say.
I shouldn't say I'm tux, can you reverse dox yourself?
Like is that a thing, you know how like you dox?
Give them a bike info?
No, no, like,
like I guess doxing would be someone publishing
an anonymous person's information.
But if you're a public person,
well, nevermind, doesn't make any sense... I want you to finish this out because I'm curious about the logical thread that you're following here.
He's trying to get to something along the lines of the joke.
The other day, do FBI agents name their Wi-Fi networks Meth House?
Thanks, Tanya.
Tanya noticed my general joke structure.
She was like, I see what he's going for.
He's going for a new
interpretation of that old bit.
But he's hungover, tired, kind of high.
It's just
going to end with tubby chuckwag.
The neurons just aren't fucking...
Jesus, guys.
Greedheads.
Greedheads.
Sorry, sorry, greedy.
This is the best B-roll, man.
Yeah, we can split this into two Patreons.
Now, what we'll do is we're going to make public the first 50 minutes or so,
and then we'll put the remaining B B-roll Remaining B-roll
Onto Patreon
Alright
Oh yeah the
Um
What does that stupid
Hightower guy say
And that's the rest
Of the story or something
Jim Hightower
You don't like Jim Hightower
Are you kidding me
Does anyone like him
I like Jim Hightower
I think it's hilarious
You know
He's one of those
Like old guys That I feel like people once liked
and I no longer understand his relevance.
You know what I mean?
I mean, he's this...
He kind of sounds like Jim Webb a little bit.
He is the conspiracy theorist that's saying things that everyone's like, yeah.
Jim Hightower?
Yeah, man.
Jim Hightower.
But is he doing it in a rhyming couplet fashion that could go to a square dance?
No, no.
Is Jim Hightower in the resistance now?
Or what?
Jim's a populist.
Is he?
Yeah.
Totally.
Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, his entire schtick is ratting out the 1%, right?
And you're against that?
No, no, no.
I'm just saying.
It's not so much his content
It's not the things he's saying
It's the way that he's saying it
It's the style
It's the way he's presenting it
I actually think I mixed him up with that other guy
Who says that that's the rest of the story
Jim Webb, click and clack
Those fucking bastards
Got what's coming to them
Imagine
That was a racist asshole Alright, I gotta go get food Those fucking bastards Got what's coming to them man Imagine Those racist assholes
Yeah
Alright I gotta go get food
Yeah we're on Jim Hightower
I'm stuck
Real motherfucking
Jim Hightower hours
Oh my god
Who's up
Good lord
I think I gotta sign off
Good night
See you in hell
Lots of earth