Watch What Crappens - RHOA: OG Fans

Episode Date: July 10, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Sanya has a fundraiser for her charity and Kenya forces some cash out of the cast. In more important news, someone let Kim f***ing Zolciak back on television. This week's bonus is a Train Snaps episode from Boston and you can find all bonuses and videos by joining Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what! Kids fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

Kids fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Hi everybody! Welcome to Watch what! I some podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on your roms I'm Ronnie that's been over there. Hello my little buntantans. Hi, how are you? Good? I've missed you. I've missed you too. It's like I don't even remember how to do this I'm like what what is this? Where's my record button? How do the processes, how do we podcast?

Well, probably fuck it up. And of course, we're gonna do three shows today. So we'll fuck the whole day. That's just how we roll one thing is constant. After 11 years, we will fuck something up. We always, we always will, we always do. Proudly, proud. Yeah.

Well, welcome back. It's good to see you everybody. There's been a lot going on in the world of Bravo. We're going to catch up in an episode later this week. Okay. Yeah. That also crappy lake started on Bravo with Sonia and Luan. We're going to talk about that. We're going to talk about it. Lamped it today. We've got Orange County, which we missed last week. So we'll talk about that. I did a project runway recap.

Catch up by myself, not recap, project runway recap, catch up by myself, not recap, but I did a catch up by myself. We'll talk about that. You caught up so much going on the world. I've got little viewers but hanging out behind my shoulder because we are on the internet today. We are on video on Patreon, Patreon.com slash watch what crappens.

I look like I've spent my entire vacation doing math. I've got red splotches all over my face that is not mess and fetamine addiction. That is micro-needling. Okay, so that's how I showed up today, but hey, still have a face. So that's good. How are you today on your first day back, the noons?

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I went out last night and, well, I was like, we're just gonna ease into the week, we're just gonna ease nice and steadily into the week. Got all my work done and then went out and went to one of those crab and shrimp places, you know, it's like New Orleans style. It's like actually, be it Cajun.

Well, it wasn't Joe's, but it was a place called, actually it was originally called Oh My Crab. Yeah, they were gonna have to change that guy. Some started. Well, they changed their name. Well, they changed their name to My Crab House, which I think is actually worse. Like, let's go to My Crab House.

But why are they, why are all the changes what they decide to keep my still needs to be my I have to read there's actually there's a reason because this way they can they put a menu over the oh in their sign Like on the wall when you walk in where it says oh my crab They put a menu over the oh and they paste it on house after crab So it says my crab house. And of course since Oh My Crab was had an exclamation point at the end of it, it's like, Oh My Crab house.

So that's why it's still the structure that it is because they're able to still use the old signage. Just like, no guys, that's terrible. Terrible naming, listen, I appreciate a budget sign, but at some point just whip out some spray paint. You know what I mean? Well, listen, and the same could be applied to real housewives of Atlanta,

but at this point, what I'm trying to say is that I went to this place. It's despite its crazy name, it's delicious. It's so good. I want everyone to go because I feel like this place is never gonna stay in business because it's like There was like several empty tables, but so much salt

It's just like you're just ingesting butter in salt and butter in salt and today I feel like I'm hungover I didn't even drink anything and I feel like I've got a hangover and I'm puffy and That's just the energy that I'm gonna start this week off with Wow You're coming in with humor great bloated Monday energy. I love that.

I'm coming in with that crab house energy. I'm saying my crab house. Well, I'm coming in with the energy of being literally so excited to be here. I should not be left alone. Well, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm gonna complain that we'd like to work too much. And then what do I do?

I get some time, I don't know what to do. So I just start tick-talking. I didn't even know how to tick-talk. So I've been tick-talking a week. That's been really fun. My dog's just looking himself back there. I was basically doing that. I was looking my own crotch all week. Okay, that's what I did. Did a lot of family things. Saw a lot of sun. It was great. Really miss-talking because I went into kind of a silent thing where I told my family to leave me alone. I didn't talk to any friends. I saw my family maybe three times, which is like half the week, right?

But the other day I shut the fuck up and it was so nice, but God, I need to talk. I need to talk. Don't care what it's about. Anything. Oh, I've been talking. I've been talking for all this time. Actually, I should mention that I actually did talk in a podcast fashion because I guess it on the board game geek podcast this week. So because people know that I love board games. So I'm on there right now. Anyone out there who is a board

gamer, the board game geek podcast, the official podcast, the board game geek, which is like the big site for board games. Go check that out. But I spent my week, I did a lot of talking because I was very, so I was a social butterfly all week. First, I went to the Hamptons last weekend, which was very fun and lovely and very luxe and sweater gaze. My favorite sweater gaze. Yeah, we love the, how were those guys doing? They were great. We spent the weekend. We cooked a lot of food. We went to shelter Island and had a great lunch. We went to Sag Harbor. I did not see Luan in Sag Harbor,

but we did see Barbara Bush, junior, is walking on the street. So, I was hoping to see Inaigarten also, but again, I just got Barbara Bush I felt so bad for Barbara Bush Jr because no one's gonna give a good reaction to that, you know what I mean? Like I'm sorry I'm supportive like I love you. I'm excited for you to really see anybody but Barbara Bush Jr Yeah, you can't you can't want to see Ina and then see Barbara Bush Jr You need to go I know if I'm just grow a pair and start knocking on some damn doors. It was you know

I was I'm not gonna lie. I was hoping for a little bit more than Barbara Bush Jr. But you know, but you know beggars can't be choosers and I'm a beggar in the Hamptons But it was fun. There was I was they always tempted to try to find the summer house and try to go back to it and crash it, but then I decided to know up and have some dignity. So I didn't do that. And then I spent the rest of the week here in LA. I played a million board games. I was like cooking food, eating food, board games.

It was such a great week. I felt like I got to do all the self care things that I wanted in the forms of like social interaction, but I also I worked out like crazy, but then I undermined it all by eating like crazy, but I was really happy because all I wanted to do for this whole week was play board games, get good workouts in, eat lots of food,

play video games, and I did all of the above. So, you know what, I feel refreshed and I'm ready to throw myself back into podcasting. Well, let's do it. Let's throw ourselves back in. Yeah. So here we are with Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 15 episode nine. Okay, so a lot has happened in this world because, um, the Atlanta's like, we'd love you at this energy you're bringing in after your vacation. Let's destroy it.

Let's destroy it Listen, I'm starting very positive But we're gonna it's gonna be great. We're good. We will we will do it. Listen. I'm positive to you I just think it's really funny. We're like oh my god. What I feel refreshed. I thought so anyway Real house loves of Atlanta You know first I guess on that note, worst things have come back to life, okay? This, the reason people are like, well, why is it worse for this show?

This is unfair. People are criticizing this show harder because this was the best forever. This is the gold standard show and they're not making any effort, okay? They know it's broken. They're not fixing it. Fix the fucking show, okay?

That's all I'll say. I'll be positive for now. But also bigger things, or other things, bigger messes have come back to life. We're seeing it with Orange County. We saw it with real housewives of Miami. We believe in you. We're sticking with you and we believe in you.

We believe in you, we believe in you. And I'm gonna be a very positive person. I'm gonna have a great outlook this entire episode. I'm gonna be very up with Atlanta. But I keep trying and then you keep dragging me down. But that will start after this moment right here where I'm gonna have some comments. I'm gonna have some thoughts.

Thoughts, listen, we're allowed to have thoughts. We're allowed to, you know, we are allowed to do this. So, very interestingly in this episode, as we're going to get to, there's a scene where like all of the OGs minus Nini get together for a random dinner. And as much, you know, like, oh God, I can't stand Kim Zolsey. I think she's like, she's just like trash. But I will say watching the four of these garbage, like little garbage, like it's just like like you're behind garbage truck and something fell off of it and then got to show.

So, she, but I'm watching it. I'm like, the truth is that the four women that we see in that scene, they just have like a natural chemistry. Like, that is the chemistry that comes from people who are friends who are just like having fun on camera. And I was like, why is this scene so much more alive than everything else happening on the show? Like I think that just shows how like the cast chemistry

on Atlanta right now is really, really in trouble. That is my negative comment of the day. I don't know that I felt that chemistry. I thought it was like a lot of, woo, look at us, we're together with each other all the time. But then it was obvious that they don't, because they're like, oh, so Kim, you're losing your house. You know, things that they should probably know if they really

hang out together, likely so woo energy, love to having her. Dishon still, like Dishon, have you learned methane? You are still one of the most made fun of housewives for being a boring ass, and you came back and said, nothing. Like, nothing, Dishon, nothing. She's busy working on her next million dollar fundraiser. So, which was funny, because we ended with one of those fundraisers. Like, let's make a huge goal, right? And Dishon was there.

But yeah, this was also interesting, because Kim, God, I really do look messed up. Kim and Kroy announced that they're divorcing. I didn't believe it. I didn't think it was going to happen. I'm a very judgmental person, and I don't believe in anything, especially love. Like, literally, if you're in love, I don't believe in it. Like I think you're lying. I mean, not you, Ben, not you and Don.

But everybody, my parents may be. No, they hate each other, probably. But for the most part, I'll believe you. I'll take you your word. Let me just say that. You know, if you're on TV and they say they're in love, it's hard to believe. But Kim and Cory, I believed it. They just seemed so perfect and they had all those kids. I mean, you know, you don't do that if you don't really love each other, right? And then I know it was hard being poor and stuff, but you know, there are a lot of people with tons of kids who are poor.

And like Kim knows how to do it. She started in the show with like a plastic wig made out of like She started in the show with like a plastic wig made out of like plastic ties for garbage bags, you know what I mean? So she knows how to do. I just, something was off about it. I didn't buy it and they announced this week they're canceling their divorce. Yeah. So this was like a presidential primary. This is like, she's kind of like the Christchristie of scandal, you know? She was like, you know what, I realize, it's just that I don't, my scandal doesn't really have legs and calipers has just come in with a divorce story. And I have to wave the white flag, like mine just did not take off. I mean, she just wants to get back on the show.

She can't compete with Kylamore Ricio, which is of course the big news that I have in my world. Oh god, they're so boring. They are so lame. I can't believe anybody's even fucking talking about that. What a trot, wouldn't an attention grab. We'll talk about that in our catch-up episode later this week. Kyle loves it.

But either way, Kim's old, she actually just can't compete. She can't. She can't. So she had to drop out of the race. And, you know, conveniently timed for her, like, return on Atlanta, back on camera and all of a sudden the divorce, the divorce things are far dropped. Yeah.

So they're trying. So anyway, Kyle's trying to, like you said, but she can't compete either with Vanderfomper rules, but nice try. Nice try competing with Lisa Vanderfomper and still losing again, Kyle. Nobody cares, okay? Go away with your stupid fucking Kimo Sabi out.

I can't with you. Okay, bottom wrong bitch. Sorry, a little Kenya line. So let's start with where are we starting? Kids playing basketball outside. Yeah, it's well as Drew's like playing basketball. Like what's not outside, it's one of those toy basketball hoops sort of like if you went to Dave and Busters, yes, inside, outside. It's inside, it's not even real basketball. It's just like toy basketball. And then candy is looking at it. That's a damn waste of money, Drew. Okay. And you're going to need it now, because that's another divorce nobody's giving any attention to. But you do not need to have an indoor Chuck E. Cheese basketball thing downstairs at your house. Okay. That's where your fucking sister who's need and need should be living.

Replace the basketball hoops with a bed for Allison, okay? Do I need to do everything for you? I know. Also, by the way, if you're giving your kid private basketball lessons, don't get the one that's not basketball hoop to scale, you're gonna mess up all the kids' measurements, et cetera. And like, he's gotta learn on a real hoop,

not like the Dave and Buster soup drew. You're undermining Dave and Buster soup is harder, right? Because it's smaller. Right. That was real time. It's terrible. Like, Carnival hoops. I hate that game. I literally hate that game. I can never get the ball in the hoop. And I feel like everyone laughs at me every time. Skieball I'm down with. But like, give me that stupid, like, fake little basketball hoop. Like, why don't I want to do this? I didn't come to Dave and Buster's play sports. Otherwise, I would have gone play sports.

Yeah, I hear you. I can't even throw. Thank you. I mean, I know that's a shock to everybody, but I'd like even flail when I throw. My arms move all around. I'm like drowning in the water. My balls are in the ski ball section. Yeah.

So then, Saray is pretending that she's afraid of needles, which is hilarious. Any housewife pretending they're afraid of needles is a good comedy for me. Yeah. Yeah. Saree, who debuts a new face over the course of this episode, is suddenly like, oh, not needles. I don't want any needles. I mean, the amount of fillers, the amount of fillers and Botox in her face. And she's like, oh no, no needles, no needles for acupuncture. I can't do this.

I think at one point she literally shows up with the new nose. I'm not even kidding. Like towards the end of the episode, I'm like, that's a different nose. When did you guys take a break? Stop taking breaks like at the beginning of your season. What the hell's going on? How did you recover that quickly?

But this is why Shrey is a good housewife because she is, as we say, delusional. The fact that she spends really most of this episode talking about how she's really interested in doing holistic things and natural things for her fibroids while While she is like injecting her face with cement, I'm like, I love that, I love that juxtaposition. Yeah, I'm seeing a fava booger. I feel like I have a booger on it.

No one can see your boogers, even if you have one. They can, girl. Okay, so then we go to Marlos, and she's talking to her poor assistant Thai who has been dragged into this show because Marlo has no friends rightly so because she's awful. So she's talking to this friend, Ploy, Thai and they're talking about her date and I'm still not buying the state or those fake-ass flowers that are sitting, are those even real part, those are so hot. I don't think so. I don't think so.

Those are so hot-ass. Lobby-ass flowers. He's probably going to call and ask for those back. Yeah, they definitely, they were giving Michaels, I would say, by the way, I'm sorry. I'm gonna start saying they were giving, I can't help it because there's someone on Love Island UK who's always like, it's giving romance, it's giving love.

And like, I'm unfortunately, I'm a chameleon. And so I know that it's giving is not new, but like, I've been watching Love violence so much that now all of a sudden I just am starting to say it without even realizing so if you're like wow Ben's trying out some news lying I'm sorry everyone. I know I know Well, let's probably about this realistic as any love storyline that Marlos gonna have okay So she got a text from this guy that says, good morning, good morning, beautiful. You're gonna have a great day.

Don't trust him, he's trying to rob you. I'm gonna say that right now. Don't trust any man who texts you without even banging. I don't believe this. I don't believe this person. I think he wants on TV and he wants some attention for his Strip Mall restaurant. Yeah, I think that's what it is.

He wants that. So Scott Lee, his name is Scott Lee. Scott Lee. And she's like, oh, good morning. Hope you had a wonderful day as well. Thanks for making me, making last night perfect. And then he wrote back, you're welcome. Don't be a stranger.

So basically they said hi to each other. And this is the basis of the scene. And so Marlo is like, she's like, well, I can't believe I won a date with someone who's good looking and I kind of like, and like, you know, sometimes I get afraid that like when you let someone in, they find your weaknesses and they just like, you know, destroy you from the inside out and just ruin your entire life and dox you and just like make you like wish you had never even moved to this state to begin with, you know, like pretty standard things. I'm like, damn, Marla, oh, it's okay to say hi

to someone in the morning on a text. But Marla of all people saying, sometimes you let someone in and they know your weaknesses and they use that to hurt you. Can we please have some clips of Marla saying, even your mom didn't want you, Kenya. Well, that's why she's afraid. Because she knows she does it.

So she assumes everyone else does it. Calling Drew fatmugly, please insert some clips here. So then Ty is like, how did it feel getting a good morning text? You should return the favor. You know, you should stay in the afternoon. I hope your day is going well. It's like, what was this basic manner?

It was for five PM? You should say thank you. Hope you had a great day. Come again, now you're here. What are you praying for? I know. For the fucking grocery store. But you've seen with somebody else,

Ty, you're better than this. It's also a terrible idea. You know, I am not in favor of like doing games with texts. Like if you, I kind of feel like, if you're, if you go on a date with someone and you like them and they like you and you text, like, you're, each person will be so happy to hear from them that, like, you don't care about any of that bullshit.

But if you are going to play the game, if you decide you are going to play the game, she should not be the one to text. Okay, in the afternoon, like, and say, like, hey, hope your afternoon's going well, he should be the one to text because he has to woo her and she's more famous, so he has to work harder. So So he's the one who needs a publicity for a strip moral strike. So he should be the one to text. Yeah, it's not even a gender thing. It's just he needs some he needs the attention the most.

Yeah, he does not have cameras. So they have a modicum of respect. I mean, she hasn't received a dick yet. So that's something that's something. That's true. That's true. So, now we go over to Sonia doing the things that we love most, which is, um, Momination. She's doing Momination stuff. She wants to raise $50,000, because she met a woman, uh, who helps, uh, she has, like, a foundation that, um, sends, uh, unhoused children to get a private education in Atlanta. And she's like, well, well, this lady is helping up the kids who's going to take care of the

mommy's hashtag, Mommy Nation to the rescue. Yeah. So she's setting up this big thing for that. And guys, there's trouble destiny, the auctioneer, which that's a good destiny, the auctioneer, which that's a good name for an auctioneer. I think that that's a really, normally I have a problem with the name, destiny because I feel like it's a name that is promising something.

It's like too much for that kid to deliver. You know, it's like destiny. And then they just grow up to be a stripper or something. But, especially if they have two ease, if it's destiny with two ease. Yeah, but this one, I like it for an auctioneer I like it for something like that like as a good luck name for an auctioneer Well, it's kind of saying like it doesn't matter how much you bid. This has already been chosen for you, right?

Yeah, you're destined to give us $50,000 So they're saying well, we need a her assistance. Like we need a really big personality. Whether that Kenya more, like, oh, really? The lady that she's been shit talking this entire season? Yeah, sure. Why not fake it, Sonia? Why Ersanya? Call Kenya and kiss her ass after you've been trash talking her all season. That'll be fine. Yeah. So, Sonia decides that, yes, she's going to have Kenya be her last minute backup assistant. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap ins commercial.

So meanwhile Kenya is doing a photo shoot for Kenya more hair care. And she's like art directing and everything. And when Yada is there, in case you couldn't tell. In case you've felt that extra sense of presence and joy, if you're wondering where that came from, it's Monyatta, she was there. And- So it's what kind of-

And you're pretend to be the director. She's, Kenyatta does not have any. Do you remember all those years that she was trying to convince everybody that she was a famous actor? And that she even got mad at Kim Fields for Not recognizing her as a like peer recognize. Yes. Like Kenya. You're not in anything. Okay. You're barely on YouTube Okay, yeah, so she's doing that again today, but it's with directing and she's like

Kenya more hair care chin down hair longer. I need longer hair beat the drum beat the drum twisted braided was there a bald person here get the bald person out all right we're all buying it Steven Spielberg I know seriously looking forward to the Cleo win that you get so Kenya's like she's like she's saying how she's really upset that she didn't get to perform at the magic city classic football game. So she's gonna use all the choreo that Monetta made in this commercial. So then inevitably, like she trots out Brooklyn and they have like a very cute scene together because Brooklyn's adorable.

But I'm sometimes I get this feeling... What? You just don't like prop comedy. You're like, that is prop, that is some prop work. And I do not like that. It's like, I kind of feel like Kenya trots out Brooklyn when she wants to like a certain image of herself as being warm and approachable and not just the villain,

but just, she's a mom trying to make it happen. So, so Brooklyn's there twirling around and Manietta is texting on the side. She's texting with Roy ROI. By the way, appropriately enough, ROI return on investment Roy. So he's coming in, because he's gonna surprise everyone conveniently with some stuff from Call Me Kale. Wow, everyone's really taking their own barricades. Oh, this is so embarrassing. That Roy shows up with food from his own restaurant to promote it and doesn't even pretend that he likes Kenya. I mean, doesn't listen. Can't spell Karoizmai with that Roy. Wait, you can. You actually can. I can see why,

because what a dud this fucking guy is. My god. this is like my grandfather, when we would walk it, he had this little room, he would hold up and watch TV and close the door like his den. And whenever we would go in there, he would have a big bowl of walnuts. Just being a rock dish, which is a little bit of, and when we were bothering him, he would just look at us, like, I move the walnut around in his mouth

and just stare at us like, you're a piece of shit. And I'm sure it was very loving in his way, but that's the vibe that Roy is giving me. I'm like, I should like him. He did bring food, but it's kale. It's like, and he's not serving. Yeah, he seems to not really enjoy her. He's basically emotionally distant

and also physically distant, which is, I guess, Kenya's type. Also, call me kale. I don't know if I love that pun. Is that a pun on call me crazy? No. What is it? Call me, I don't think it's a pun. Call me?

I'm going to say this. I think, oh, my crap is better than call me kale. I think it is, too. I think, oh, my crap wins the pun war. Yeah, call me crap. Maybe we can, maybe we can get some crap on some kale. Call me, call me kalebie, like call me maybe. Like, I really, I don't think it's,

I don't think it's like a borderline like petto thing for a restaurant, do you? Oh, call me maybe,'s color ray jepsin oh I thought you were calling call me by your name call me by your name. There you go have kale salads with you know like Twink some one who wants to cannibalize you Yeah Wow, this this is really going off the rails. Okay, so let's go back to this user fucking Roy Okay, and also Kenya Kenya's to this user, fucking Roy. Okay. And also, Kenya, Kenya's, we all know Kenya is a faker. Kenya's had fake boyfriends every single year

on the show until Mark, who I honestly believe was a fake boyfriend just gone wrong. And I don't mind. I don't mind. Or even making any effort to divorce this fucking guy. So I have no time for this Roy. Mark, Mark was, Mark was the unmarked taxi that we drove from O'Hare Airport to that awful hotel in Chicago recently. It was like, Kenya had been waiting for her Uber. She couldn't find her Uber and there was a car and the car seems to be taking her where she needed to go and she got in and turned out that car smelled terrible and was was a lot of money, you know, that's what that that's what Mark is. Mark my God. It didn't even give him her Tesla. I mean that guy still coming out of the shit. I'm sorry. So then so Kenya's like, you made it call me Cal Roy. I spoke. It's like, Ha ha ha ha ha ha, you made it call me Cal Roy. Ha ha ha ha ha.

I spoke, it's Roy, his chin implant, LOL. Go ahead, I didn't even notice. I was just more distracted by his flagorant dislike of this entire situation and he's like, Ugh, Ugh, Bre, I'm like. Roy is difficult to pin down because he's the owner of a health food restaurant with very busy location. So for him to take time out of his busy owner of a health food restaurant with very busy locations

So for him to take time out of his busy schedule to bring me food from calming kale It's like how desperate are you for fuck's sake God yeah, you could go on Craigslist and get people to pretend you're your boy Pretend they're your boyfriend You know and do a better job than this this guy's making no effort nobody goes support his goddamn kale restaurant this guy sucks Yeah, I'm sorry. He does not get a trophy for a quote unquote taking time out of his busy schedule to promote his brand on a national platform. No, that does not get brownie points. You know what does get brownie points? Filters on Instagram. Oh, brownie's definitely. Brownies do. Well, yeah. Filters on Instagram. Because when they've shown Roy before, I was like, oh my god, he's so cute. And they showed him now. It's like, yeah, um, filters on Instagram because when they've shown Roy before, I was like, oh my god, he's so cute.

And they showed him now. It's like, yeah, but I think it's his personality too, you know, and just the fact that he's out there hawking kale to people. Like, I'm not a first kale's free. The rest you'll be a dick. You'll be so addicted. Like, it's not rock. Okay. It's kale. Nobody wants this. Get it out of here. Well, call me kale, but I think I think that he's using the same filters as Paul has been using on New Jersey. So can Paul definitely make use of those filters as well? I use one of them on the tiki-taki this week and I look fucking amazing. I can see how addictive they are. I never want to be seen again. I'm trying to figure out how to use a filter on this. So we can be on YouTube and I can still look like that.

Because that is fucking amazing. I don't even want to be a real person anymore. I've only what used one proper filter on TikTok and as some of you may have seen, it turned me into a shoe. So Kenya says... I've been done the one that turns you into a horse face. Talk about that. I will do that after this.

There's some characters we used to call horse face back in the beginning days of this podcast, which was very rude and cancelable. Hey, to bring it up again. But, um, yeah, there's, I was on it the other day. I think Snapchat or one of them. And I, it says, open your mouth and I open my mouth and it morphed my face into a horse face. And I was like, well, that is karma right there.

I should have been stuck like that. You get see biscuited. So Kenya still has a normal face. She's not. I couldn't pass up the pen. Call me kale. So call me kale biscuit. Call me horse. Call me. Do they have a kale filter where you open your mouth and your

head turns into it to go back from call me kale? It's a really. It's a non-trend. It's under the tab non trending's a non-trending, it's under the tab non-trending filters. Non-trend. Okay, so Kenya, yeah, so she's there and she's talking about, she's like, you know, Kenya more hair, it's this like famous chant, like anywhere I go, people start doing this chant. And Manieta is like, because they're just explaining this to Roy who by the way if you were a proper boyfriend should know

all this already he's like can you more hair care what is that again and money else like oh well she got it from HBCU bands you know like it's a huge thing like it goes back in history you don't know what HBCU is do you do you you don't know what you do you. He's banked. I do well as far, don't shout. Had bitch in control of underwear, right? He's like, okay, I gotta run. Looks amazing. He just looks fucking miserable as a kale hawker would.

So he leaves and Kenny's like, that was nice. He brought goodies. Manieta's like, healthy goodies. Oh, shut up the both of you. Okay. I know for you. We it's like healthy goodies. Oh, shut up the both of you. Okay, I know. I don't think for you. We all know those are underdressed salads.

You know they both need another little container of dressing and you did not include them. Yeah, no forks. Or they're one of those places, it's just like they give you like a popsicle stick that has like a four-slit shaved into it and they call it a fork. You're quit as it's not a fork.

And also you killed a tree instead of like a paper bus. Wouldn't it have been easier to just kill the fucker paper? And the fork handle has a hole in it. Yeah. Yeah, to save, which I'm like those are actually good things but whatever. So I'm just like mad that he did it and that he thinks he's great

but meanwhile he's skimping on the dressing. Yeah. So anyway, so yeah, Kenya just says that basically she's going to Sonia Face Times and she's like, can you more, can you help me be an auction near and Kenya's like, of course, of course, Sonia, like I would be honored. Of course, which means you know that Kenya's going to fuck it up for her. And she's like, you know, I feel like Sonia is a good person. However, this is the second event Sonia has booked me for without going through my agent.

Which is true, but it's like also an auctioneer event. Just go just shut up and down. It's like, it's not both new for like Jurassic Park five. Yeah. So yeah, calm down. Word. Okay. I know. Like it's like literally an auction at like in like a ballroom at our hotel. Like seriously, Lord, turn take a seat and calm down Jeff cold bloom. So then we go to Drew with her mom and they're talking about Jojo's principal calling and Drew cried because they acknowledged JoJo

for being a model student. I was like, can you, sir? I don't know. I don't know that principals make those calls. What did JoJo do? Well, Drew could have just made that call. Drew could have just been doing that. I mean, like principals like, yeah, I mean, JoJo's fine.

But JoJo's great. I like JoJo. I'm happy that this happened. So the Jeanette is there I mean, JoJo's fine. But JoJo's great. I like JoJo. I'm happy that this happened. So the Jeanette is there. That's JoJo's mom. You would freak out though if the principle call, hi, as a principle, I'm calling about JoJo. He is amazing.

I just, I don't believe it. I think it's a school where there are like 10 people there can be a fucking place. And the principle is like, now, if you don't mind, I'd like to come on camera and promote my food business and it's apparently that's happening this episode Call me spaghetti. They can't imagine it That's like even worse. I've upon that upon that upon

So Janette's very happy is she's saying how like oh my kids are smart They all got it from me and Jews like you and daddy and then it like trickle down to me I mean I produced my own video. It was amazing to be able to do that. I'm like, okay, so we'll just transition away from your sons amazing accomplishments to the fact that you want to just talk about your video that you produced as a end. Yeah. You sat there and then the producers of this show

were like, you should shoot a video for the show. She's like, okay, and they sent you a director. Yeah. Yeah, Drew just lies. You know, she's like, oh, the principal called, and I just produced my own music video. Do you not remember a person named Rage, okay? That's why he's sitting at home like, I want to get no credit for me.

No fucking credit for Rage. Ha ha ha ha. Rage against the machine once again. Also, by the way, way to compete with your son. It's like, oh, did you hear the principal called JoJo has been doing amazing things. That's so funny because I produced my own music video. So anyway, I guess I'm just saying it's called called mom. Just waiting on the call from his principal to think for making a music video about roller skating. I don't even know how to do it.

So then we talked to Allison who you should not be bringing Alison on TV. I said that you should give her a room. I did not say you should necessarily put her on TV. Alison is extremely fragile. Okay. Anybody who has ever been around a fragile person or been a fragile person knows this look.

Alison is barely, she's whitenuckling it through this. You can say. Please leave her alone. Don whiter-muckling it through this. You can see. Please leave her alone. Don't drag her onto TV to deal with, she does not need to deal with this. And then you've got Allison sitting there about to lose it. And then you've got Drew like, well guess what?

The principal called about JoJo and I just did a music video. So could you fold up your sleeping bag underneath the basketball machine? That would be great. Rafa's gonna kick you out again if you don't. So then Alison of course is like, this is probably a good time to quietly remind Drew about all the things I did for her and while she's like very proud of herself for making one music video, how I did everything else for her and she can see just the fraction of all the hard work I did.

So she's like, oh, just remember Drew, take break, because I don't think I ever had a vacation. So, you know, know what I'm saying? And Drew is like, well, this is your vacation now being in this suburban house with a basketball machine on top of your bunk bed. So enjoy my bunk bed. I mean, just, you know, tile floor that you sleep on. And Lauren's like, well, I guess I don't think you really understood what I was implying. So let me just say it more clearly. All those years that I was working for you, did you ever see me rest once ever? Do you want to say thank you, maybe? It seems like I, I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what people do when they're off the clock, like what do you want? Also this season is relying really heavily on using our sisters inappropriately to do things for us because that's a double storyline because we've also got it with Sonja. Beleagered sisters is the theme of the season. Sisters are doing it for someone else, yeah. Sisters are doing literally nothing for themselves ever. I know, apparently. Any she's just gonna walk on a be angry She's gonna walk on it. Drew's gonna be like um could you tell my roller skates for me? So she's telling us how amazing our sister is and she goes over her resume. She says well first of all her He just saying is managing Drew's career since she was eight and she's also

just saying is managing Drew's career since she was eight. And she's also been, of course. Of course. Drew has had a career. She's no head to dead, bro. I mean, she really has had a career. It's so funny, though. She still is acting like, my career since I was eight years old. Like, she had some free time.

I mean, you know what I mean? She had some time for a nap in there, as yeah So she's been a writer on Amen, which Import that show love that I could have just a very episode of that me too It's one of my favorite theme songs one of my favorite music one of my favorite TV theme songs of all time I think it's actually one of the most underrated TV theme songs if you've never heard the theme song go to YouTube And listen to it and you will you will like be shocked that this song, that we're able to create this much song in one minute. It's like truly one of the best things ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, shine on me.

So she worked on that, which already beats your career. Okay, I'm gonna say that. And then she worked on Martin Rock. She worked at the William Moritz Agency in the literary department. Call As, she's worked for Wesley Smythe. She worked for Johnny Carson Productions. I mean, she's done actually a lot of things. Literally everything that she's done is significantly more

impressive than Drew Stador's career except maybe Wesley Snipes production company, I don't know what that company ever did and he got triple tax. Hopefully she wasn't doing the bot the books. Hopefully she wasn't in charge of five over there, but otherwise pretty good. So they're talking about, oh my God, it's like so hard to be Drew and not have a manager. Like, what is a Drew doing right now by yourself? Sorry, I'm doing like a Drew. What's Drew Barrymore? We're face. We're just like, oh my God, you guys are playing a so hard.

That's one of the craziest things that you don't have a manager. Like, how can you even not have a manager? Like, but it's like amazing though. Like, it's amazing what you're able to you don't have a manager. Like, how can you even not have a manager? Like, but it's like amazing though. Like, it's amazing what you're able to do without, like, even a manager. Like, it's actually kind of like one of the so, it's just like so impressive right now. Thank you so much for being at my show.

So, Allison talks about all the trauma she's been through and what, what, you know, basically going through PTSD from traumatic relationships and all that, like, it's terrible. She's been through a lot. And then she had a mental breaking COVID and she was admitted to a mental facility and she's like, you know, Drew, I just like, we really never got a chance to be sisters, you know, because I was always working. I was always working for you. And I just want to be sisters. And she's like, that sounds so

good. And it would sound even better with a latte in my hand. Could you put it on the top? One thing that sisters do for each other is they arrange each other's schedules. So do you think you can find out when I can meet with a rage? Thanks. Is there anything more sisterly

than having access to my eye cow? Okay, could you organize that? That'd be great. It's time for commercial. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial. So now, Shiray shows up at a restaurant where literally every single person the restaurant has requested their faces

be blurred out, which is hilarious. It's like literally she's like in a sea of pixelation. And first, Lisa Wu enters, which is exciting. Lisa Wu made a comeback last season. So Lisa Wu enters, which is exciting. Lisa Wu made a comeback last season. So Lisa Wu was here not being quite a great teacher. So Wu made quite a comeback.

She really met when she first came on. What was she was screaming about? I don't know, but it was fucking funny. Back to her later years. It was all the ladies. That was so good. First, I have to just point out the waiter because you know, I love a real house-wise waiter.

This fucking guy. So Shirei is like, I have the just point out the waiter because I love a real house-wise waiter, this fucking guy. So Sharay is like, I have the leechy balm. And he's like, it's a leechy-back. I don't leech it. I know. Okay, it's not a drink for terrorists. It is a drink for classy people. So I'll bring that to you.

Hold on, I'm gonna stand right under a central light right next to your table with my arms crossed and stare at you. I'm not gonna move. I'm not gonna move. I'm not gonna move. Don't turn the light off. I'll still not move. There's a backstory with that Leechyback.

You know there is. You know that it was like for like two weeks, this waiter had been working on the Leechyback recipe and he's like, I'm gonna pitch it to Simon. I'm gonna pitch it. I'm gonna say, I know I'm just a waiter, but I have a cocktail. And I think this should be on our cocktail program.

And he probably like bothered all of his girlfriends on the phone for hours. Like I just think what I'm gonna say, I know I'm just a waiter, but I have a cocktail, and I think this should be on our cocktail program. And he probably like bothered all of his girlfriends on the phone for hours. I just think, what I'm gonna do, I think I'm just gonna walk up, and I'm gonna say, Simon, I feel like you said this, we're a family when we work here. And as a family member, I have a drink, I would like on the cocktail menu,

and then he like works himself up, and he got it onto the menu. And Simon was like, no, I need better branding. You can't just call it a leechie martini, that's lame. He's like, okay, well, we'll call it a leechie back. No, leechie back just doesn't work, dude. I'm, listen, I wanna support you, but I can't do it. What about leechie bomb?

No, something leechie bomb is leechie back. I say leechie bomb. It's leechie back. And I finally gave him a sweet answer. I am an artist. Yeah, and the answer A comes right in and it's like, can I have a leechie bomb? And Simon's in the back.

I told you. And the waiter's like, you don't even understand. You know, and someone actually designed this drink and actually named this drink, and you're just gonna come in here and call it a Lichy bomb and it's a Lichy back. Get out. Get out right now, you slut.

Well, we just really took that waiter. Oh, really? You're gonna do a dark fight. Well, we just really took that waiter. Really? To a dark place. Really created a good backstory for this scene. The answer is, is like, sweet, creative person and just ended up as a total fucking nightmare. Well, he has a lot of hopes pinned on that leads you back. So, just...

Oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I'm not going to indulge this any further. You go. It's not. So, Sean comes in and she's like, the song, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, I'm not going to indulge this any further, you go. It's not really the song. So, the song comes in and she's like, hey girls, and that was, I think, one of her three lines, I don't think they even wanted to pay Dishon. They're like, listen, you're under five today. Do not say more than five things, okay?

So, like, listen, Dishon, we really need you to be in the scene so we can pass aggressively make Nini feel bad. Thanks, okay, we're getting all the OG aggressively make Nini feel bad. Thanks. We're getting all the OGs except Nini back. When I say that the waiter literally stood right next to this table in a spotlight, I'm not lying. He stood there the whole time. Also, didn't you think it was interesting?

I saw this on Twitter and I'm so sorry I didn't write down the Twitter name. It wasn't at me anywhere. I just read it. But it was a Twitter comment or a Twitter tweet. A tweet. Just a tweet. Saying they thought it was really shady that there was an empty chair there

because Nini was the only one that wasn't there. Oh, I didn't see that. That is interesting. I didn't notice that. It's not real as the empty seat. Wow. So, well, then incomes Kim Zolciak and she of course enters in like full audition mode. I'm a bitch. That's right. and she of course enters in like full audition mode. Holy cow, hey, hey, hey, bitch, I'm a bitch.

That's right. I'm a bad bitch. Hey, just forget about that reunion where I said, you know how hard it is to be a white woman being on a panel of bunch of black women when they're coming at you, just forget about that. I'm Kim's old-siac, I'm ready, I'm ready to be back. You know racism wasn't even a thing for like a Twitter.

I don't see color, I don't see color. You know what I see? I see big daddy money because I'm going back to him. Oh, wait, guess what? I'm going back to crying. Never mind. Literally will not stop grabbing and touching her hair and can't close her mouth anymore. Her eyes are just in one. I mean, she's just fucking crazy. She's like a crazy moth. It's the only way I could just like me eating up against a window. It's not really crazy. All mods are not eating up against a window. Just not really crazy. All moths are crazy. All moths are crazy. All moths are crazy. I'm sorry.

And they take forever to get ready. Just like Kim. They take forever to get ready. They finally come out and they're just still beating their head up against the glass. They just go, you know what? Moths are like so ridiculous. You know the funniest thing is like when you have your lights on and a moth gets up on your window and it just like sits there like ah. Like it's one thing there's you know there's certain mods like of flittering on a lamp you know because they're in pursuit of something they're excited they're aroused but the one that's just like

take me. It just has its wings all the way out on the window like come on. Get in this moth. Come on light. I have to show you this video. I took today Can you see this? Let me pull this. I'm seeing Yes, hold on just keep keep looking at it. Yeah, there's a mouth look at this mouth I was taking a light. Why is it acting like that? There's not even a light source There's not even a light if this is at 5.45 in the morning, okay? This is what I do at 5.45. No. I don't even know why I was awake. I can't believe you.

I saw this in the morning. I was like, I'm gonna do a TikTok judging all the animals by my house, because they're like literally some of the dumbest animals I've seen. What is this not doing? There's no light on inside. It's actually lighter outside than it is on the inside.

And he's banging up against the window. I sat down and filmed him for two solid times. It's probably, it's probably like, and you helped me. My family is in a car and trap. Please help me. And you're like, what are you doing here? He's literally making it. Okay. I'm going to, I'm going to make a whole video judging all of my animals at my house because they're all stupid. And also look at the kid next story. He keeps throwing his dog balls and then they land on my little patio thing. And

then he comes over to get them, but he always leaves that one there. I need to ask the boss. Look at that. Moth. Isn't that a good shot? I'm like, the moth is like, sir, can you help me a ball fell on my wife? Oh my God. You're stupid. I fell on him. She was drunk.

She just had a leechy back. Oh my God. Okay. So just on comes Kim. Kind of especially her. Lisa, Lisa, come Lisa's there. And she's like, I don't know if I need to hug you or chop you in the throat, Kim. And then you see, yeah, we see clips of like why that's funny. I'm all fell on my wife.

Please help Susan. So then Kim is like, well, let me tell you something. My mom, the only thing good about that bitch are her jeans. And I'm like, your mother, who you wouldn't speak to. Okay. Kim cut her own mother out of her life because her mom wanted to pee at her wedding inside and not in a porta potty. And Kim literally cut her off. What part of your mom's jeans involves you reshaping your face? What? I don't think having your face is a representative of genetics.

So she raised the last raise like, I cannot take you. So Kim goes, bitch, you know I'll just speak my mind. I might not be right, but I might not be my bitch. She's like really being on for the camera right now. She's like not letting Lisa Wu were Dishon, like also have a moment. Well, yeah, she's determined. And Sheree's telling us how much she loves the girls and they have so much respect for each other and they have drinks occasionally and they'll check in on each other and

I don't believe you frankly, so Shere is like Kim your tits look smaller and she's like oh they look smaller because I couldn't fucking breathe Okay, I saw cheers to being a fucking with my water bitch, right right? Fucking cheers, cheers, fucking water, fucking, fucking kids. That's what I'm gonna say right now, cause fuck can't tap, couldn't fucking breathe these tests. Well, she gambled her tits away at a casino. We all know that.

She can literally, she can't get in. She can't implants into a nickel machine. Okay. She put them in the bendy slots. So then, at that casino that we went to in like Omaha, not even almost like the in rural Nebraska. Remember that? Yes. And casino in the middle of nowhere. So Kim, Kim's like, cheers to being real. Which again, let's just exhibit a the face. Cheers to being real. Cheers, my, cheers, my fucking water bitch. Yeah.

So they're hugging and they're talking about Lisa who's like, oh, I even when I hated you, I still loved you Kim. I don't hate you anymore. I'm just like, I know who can hate me. Who can hate this? And they're hugging and she raised like, well, you know, with the other girls, we're going on vacation and Kim's like, I ain't going on a fucking vacation. Where's my fucking vacation? Where's that? Where's that? Where are we going to fucking go on vacation and Kim's like, I ain't going on a fucking vacation. Where's my fucking vacation? Where's that? Where's that? Where are we gonna fucking go on vacation? Where the fuck is that gonna be?

Trace, I call you, he's never going girlship with us and you're going. Me and the girls are going to Portugal. I was like, is this really happening? Are we inviting the OGs to the Portugal trip? Is this gonna be hot? No, she never invited. That's why I thought it was really funny.

She's like, welcome people who aren't on the show that I got rehired on. So I'm going to be going on to a girls trip that none of you are riding on. I mean, she didn't invite them, right? That's true because they're not in the previews for the girls trip. But it seemed like she was inviting them. So then we see a flashback of Shirei inviting Kenya to go to the strip on Portugal. She calls up Kenya and said, we're going to go to Portugal. She can. Yeah. Goes, oh, I've never been to Spain before,

which is they are very close helpful in showing how she's wrong. They show. But it's very close. I guess was Kenya was the was the season that Kenya not on. Was that the season that they went to Barcelona? Was that Kenya's off season? Oh my gosh. I don't even remember that. They flow together. That was the season where Mar-A-Loh got into a fight with Porsche over the size of her dormat.

Over the dormat size. Yeah. So, Saray is like, well, the reason we're taking a trip is because I have five-oids. So we're going to go through some natural healing. It would honestly be easier to just go get surgery on your fibroids. I can be serious. You're gonna go to Portugal to try and natural heal

your fibroids. So wait, go to the doctor, Sharay, fuck. You go to a sound bath, you're gonna all the way to Portugal for some natural healing sound bath. Can't you go to like a, can't you go to like a, like next door or something? Isn't there a sound bath in Atlanta somewhere? Five words, who's fucking person?

Is this what I want to know? Who's fucking person? This is the most fucking amazing person. I've ever fucking seen bitch. What this person is a bitch? Pitch out one of my fucking arm, all right? Yeah, so, folks are ready to,

this is Kim, just, Kim's like, I need more content. I need more content from my edition reel. So, she's folks rate, those are Kim, just, Kim's like, I need more content, I need more content from my edition reel. So, Sharay is talking about having a, a possibly very dangerous thing inside them happening health-wise. And she's like, who's fucking purse is that?

So, Sharay is like, if me, Lisa, Dishon and Kim can make it through all this BS from before, I definitely feel like me and my current friends can too. I'm like, no, you can't push through the bullshit because you're out of the spotlight for so long. You have no choice but to push through it. So Shreys, she's making it her mission to bring everyone back together, everyone but

Neenie, because with my fibroids, you don't need stress. Okay, now what commercial are you auditioning for? She's starting to sound like Sally Field. I know, she's coming for Jamie Lee Curtis' activity job. Um, so it's activity, right? Is that her thing? Jamie Lee Curtis' activity and Sally Field is Boniva, I believe. Boniva, LOL.

Um, so, that's the OTC brand is Boniva, LOL. Um, so uh, stuffy over that's the OTC brand is Boniva LOL. To me, for LOL. Boniva LOL, Cal. Wait a minute. Calme. Oh, my Boniva. So, Sherei, um, Sherei is saying who's coming to Portugal and she mentioned Marlowe and came like, oh my god, Marlowe, I love Marlowe.

We could be friends. I could be friend of if you need me to be there. I can do that for you. And then she's still hates Kenya. She's like, can you still live? That bitch is still alive? Oh my God, you just do not touch my kids, bro. You do not touch my kids.

Then maybe your kids should stop going into people's houses and taking secret videos in the bathroom with bugs. Or whatever the fun is going on. You still can't. So she's like, you saw, you saw, I got bruises from you holding me back from that bitch Sherey, okay? Because you know what I think you all, you know, I think you all the time because like, you know what Sherey introduced me to that dance, you know, when that celebrity dancing when I met Kroa and I saw and Kroa said, I saw you from afar and he was like, I knew, that was when I knew. I was like, he didn't see you from afar. He passed by you and you said,

what is that, a basketball or an ass? Get over here, sailor. Sit down on this. Get over here. Yeah, I'm gonna sit my fingers in that. It's a real hot fucking pie right there. So then one of the women asked Kim how she's like, how she's, things are going with Croix. She's, well, we're still married. with crush. Well, we're still married.

It's 11 years. We're doing great. Whatever I did, text the rap person. I touched the rap person. That's what I did. And Lisa's like, 11 years, that's a good number. And you know that Kim is sitting there at home being like, please blow up Lax can't of all.

Please, please. This is just like Raquel. I was supposed to be rooting for Raquel, but she was actually the mistress. Come on, come on, make me a star again. And Lisa is like, well, I did see in the media that you're losing your house. I hate to hear that. I mean, come on, that's not the real media.

It's like a blog on Instagram. I mean, it's not like it's TMZ. It's not like on people magazine, okay? Like, think about, I'm gonna foreclose on my house with like $200,000 left on it. I mean, like, if you really think I'm gonna do that, come on. Come on, bitches. I'm like, if you really think I'm gonna do that, come on. Come on. They're like, yes. So Lisa is still a real estate broker

and then she said, her son is killing it. Oh, Lisa says that her son is killing it doing whatever he's doing. And she raised like, boy, she's the best. And Kim goes, well, I had no idea what having a son was like until I had KJ. Mike, well, that would make sense because you never had a son and then you had a son. So thanks for the insights.

Crazy, isn't it? And they require a lot more time to get boo jobs. Which is a shame. Longer waiting period for sure. So, um, so, um, so, it's like, well, everyone seems fine. Oh, so she goes, well, everyone seems fine while we were on the show. But like as soon as Lisa got off the show, she got a divorce. And then as soon as Dishon got off the show, she got a divorce. And Dishon's like, blink, blink.

Like Dishon, anything to say about your divorce? And she's like, well, I was caught off guard, of course. Well, which is a nice pun because her ex played the position of guard on the Cavaliers. So she's literally off guard. You were a kick off the guard. So yeah, Dasha almost caught off guard. By the way, Dasha looks absolutely amazing. I have to get props to Dasha and she looks wonderful.

And so, but Dasha on is dating guys. She is dating and Kim is like, is it fun out Toshana's dating guys, she is dating and Kim's like, is it fun out there? What's it like to date? I don't know what it's like anymore. She's like, it is what you make it. Like, okay, Toshana, great to hear this update for it's been 12 years and this is the update, thank you.

Yeah, you can, that's it. That's it for Toshana. Just bring your curtain down my forehead. Okay, put the waiter in. He's still fucking standing there. Okay. So then Shere is like, well, I have a boo. And it's going really good with him.

And he gets a bad rap, but he's a really good guy. And Kim's like, well, would you get married again, Shreya? Would you get married again? Cause listen, I was in a porcelain wedding and Candy came up and gave me a hug. And I was like, wow, girl, tors to tors. Torch to tors, right there, horn to horn, girl, horn to horn, horn to horn.

What is this? She meant literally like, or tor, Taurus right there, Horn of Horn girl, Horn of Horn, Horn of Horn. What does that mean? Do anybody have a word Taurus? I'm sorry, go ahead. She was literally like, can I tell you my four Taurus? What horn works? Taurus, Taurus, Taurus. Taurus, Taurus.

You started in the Taurus and you're gonna end in the Taurus. Yeah, I think so. So, Saray is like, oh, so you guys have squashed everything? She said, I mean, I hugged the bitch, doesn't mean I squashed it. I didn't squashed it. And they ask, what could the beef be anyway? Oh my God, this is so- It's like, it's like,

I can't bring back all the OGs. Like, really, we're gonna still fight about Tarty for the party, I can't. Well, it came, it's like, well, I just sang a fucking song that went really big and I enjoyed it. So I don't see what the problem was. I'm like, you know what the problem was, is that you made thousands of dollars off of it.

And like barely even thanked Candy for it. You were ungrateful. Yeah, so many of them. Literally produced a song for you and auto-ting you and made you sent it. Like a Grammy-winning fucking artist did that for you. And then you never paid them anything. So then Shiree goes, let's do a toast to authenticity.

That's represented by the fifth face I've had in the scene. Cheers. Oh, jeez for life. And I was like, yeah, I touched the bitches. Tost the bitches and sons and me not losing my ass. And then we go to the next day, Sonia is up and she's wearing her, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, shirt.

Yep. And Candies with her assistant, talking about how busy she is, and Sonya's over her house, talking about how busy she is, and it's like a candy sonya busy off. Son, it's like, I'm busy, I'm mommy niche, and I have this thing, I'm on this website,

and I have this thing to do. And candy's like, I'm so busy, I have this thing to do, I'm gonna win a Tony maybe, and I'm also busy with this thing. All I hear is just errands. You know what I mean? Like sometimes I'll call my sister and be like, what are you doing? I'm just like, oh my god, so much. I'm going to the store at the next door. Then I'm going to the laundromat to pick up like the laundry that I had like

ironed. And then after that, I like had to go pick up the kids from the, it's just like a list of errands and it makes me tired. Okay. But like, Sonya is like a list of errands. She's like, well, I had to go to FedEx, the FedEx store and make copies, and then I had to go to Roachie Store and get some macaroni, and then I had to do this. And then Candies, Candies like, I had a concert in Nashville last night, and I've got a concert tonight in Sydney, Australia.

So I thought I'd fly in for this. It's like, Candies is like legitimately, like, what are you doing here? Why? I shouldn't be here. Yeah, Candie had two concerts back to back, drove in this morning to be here for this Monmination thing.

So yeah, you're right. But it's like, it's like Aaron's for Can be. You know what I mean? Yeah, for Can be, it's just like, yeah, just, just to concert, it's because I just wanted something else to do. Scott Bord with producing things on Broadway and films. And sorry, I just got back from my potential, from my Tony nominee, Lunchin, and now I have

to do a concert tonight. And then hold on, I'm going to go to the bank real quickly to pick up royalties for scrubs and also the Ed Sheeran song that's old from scrubs, excuse me. Which is like the purpose of what just normal errands are. So really the producers yell at her, I'm like, you have to come. You've skipped too many events. So then we go over to Drew who's doing homework with her kids, which is just, I mean, as far as I'm concerned, everything out of Drew's mouth is a damn lie. I don't believe she's helping with anybody with homework. And if any, if the principal called for any reason, it was probably like, this homework was completely fucked up.

The math equation was 4 times L equals X times pi, and the answer is key lime. Could you explain that to me? This was a, the question was 16 divided by 4. And your answer was a plot synopsis of step up. I don't get it. Could you please stop helping your children with homework? That would be great. So Sonia is now in glam for her thing and her sister is doing the glam for her and her sister is pissed. And they're speaking in like Patois, which is amazing because it's so fast because I feel

like Sony already talks fast and now they're in Patois. It's just like it's the fastest thing of all time. And like the sister, what's her face? I've got Sherry. She's like a noise. She's like, why are you always doing this to me? And Simon is like, well, what do you want me to do? And Sherry is like, well, I just, like,

clearly Sherry is really uncomfortable about doing this because what we find out is that Sanya forgot to tell Sherry when her call time was and just was like, oh, by the way, you have to be here like right now. And Sherry's pissed and now she has to be pissed on camera and she looks like, you know, she doesn't want to be on camera, which is no- This is seven in the morning, okay?

So she doesn't tell her she has to do her hair. She just says, get up. You're supposed to be doing my hair right now. So Sherry has to run down there and get her gland up on camera. And she wasn't planning on being camera. She didn't have a chance to make herself look decent to be on camera. Exactly. And then she has to go home and get all the kids ready and do all this stuff and get herself ready to be presentable at this lunch end that's starting in a couple of minutes that she is getting Sonya for and she is pissed. Yeah, she's really, really pissed. Is Sherry Sonia's assistant or does like-

It's like no one- Sherry's husband was. No, not anymore. He quit. Right, he quit. So I think it's like a one, because she takes care of the kids. She kind of runs the household. She does everything I think in exchange for like living in the house or whatever.

So I think she's just kind of, I don't know, one size fits all kind of sysploy. Except for the calendar clearly. So Sherry's telling, she's like saying, you know, just because you're in the thick of it doesn't mean like you can't like tell me what, like I have to do. And like sometimes I think you forget how many roles I'm playing because you didn't let me know what time we have to be here today. And I just say, can I just interrupt you to say, I think it's really important to tell you.

I don't care. Like this is like, I was like, I was like, I'm not watching this. It's like, I really don't care. So much stuff I don't care about. So let's go to later. She has big goals for mommy nation. Okay. Cute. So let's go to later. She has big goals for mommy nation. Okay.

Cute. So people start coming. Courtney comes and just smiles. Courtney does. Oh, it's a dream. Hey, I hear. Courtney literally does that the whole time. And nobody's even saying anything. They'll be like, hi, Courtney. She's like, ah, ah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What's this? What's the program like? And so, Sonia is gonna be giving out awards because it'll be like the Emmys except it's the Mommies. So, it's a huge honor. Maybe Candy can win one so she could be a MiGOT someday. Someday, I'm trying to fix my... If people are wondering why I'm poking at my camera,

it's because I'm out of focus. I'm trying to use a straw to put myself in focus. And all I'm doing is, I'm never gonna get you. I can't. I'm never gonna get you. I can't. I'm never gonna get you.

I can't. I'm never gonna get you. I can't. I'm never gonna get you. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't.

I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. I said, can you can't bring her plus one? And my first question is, who brings a plus one to a charity event

that they're auctioneering? Go to work, you're shooting a television show, you don't fucking need a plus one, get to work. So she's like trying to explain, I don't, there's like so much show I don't care about, I can't. This is where I have to stop faking it. Nothing happens, she eventually shows up in auctioneer shit. And then this lady, Wait, I have this lady said, I have something to say.

I have something to say. Yeah, I'm just, I'm officially, I just, I've just, I've got mad about something. Okay, Sonia, okay, I'm mad. Okay, well of course Kenya's being ridiculous, but Kenya's also holding out because we find out that Kenya's plus one that she's bringing can't be at the same table, there's not room, and they're gonna be separated. And so, Sonia is like, oh, but she'll be at the next table,

and you're literally gonna be back-to-back with your plus one. I'm like, nope, you can't, I'm sorry. If you're calling in that favor, that she gets the plus one. Put through with the back table, put anyone else in the back table. Like, I'm sorry. You can't ask your friend to do a favor to be the auctioneer last second

and then not, say, not let her sit with her friend, it's bullshit. So Sonia, I say, that was bad. I agree with you. Although this is a television show where they have to fit the cast to the table, so I'm not sure. Maybe the producers were like, and another, no, we're not paying anybody else today. You know who knows? But I agree with you in theory.

And I agree with you. Not in theory. I agree with you. Well, yeah, I just didn't like that. I just didn't like that. Sonia's first reaction was not to be like, oh, let me see what I can do because that's definitely not not appropriate. Like her reaction was like, well, but you can be back to back.

And I was like, oh, I see what Sherry's been dealing with all this time. I think that was wrong. Yeah. And Kenya's not having that either. She's like, uh, no, no. She goes, okay, we'll figure it out. She's like, okay, thank you. That's the only y'all I need you to say.

Okay. So then Marlo talks about her fake date to everybody. And they start talking about about whether she should be with the chef, and they're like, yeah, chefs aren't rich. And Marlo needs a rich person. And they start describing the man that she needs, and everybody's like a lot of money. Marlo needs a lot.

Basically Ted Turner, without Jane Fonda, threatening to murder her. Every time she sees her in public. And Marla was just happy that her acid reflux didn't act up on the day, you know, on the shore. Bleh! She's like, oh, I was just really scared it was gonna happen. So now Candy shows up and she has number 69,

so she's laughing about that. And she's also exhausted and she is also leaning into looking exhausted, that way she can be like, I'm exhausted. She's doing that thing. Like, you know, I just did five concerts in one night, and now I'm here, I'm doing five more tonight. So yeah, I'm exhausted.

Yeah, she tells her, I had a concert last night. I drove in this morning to be here, and saw me as like, oh, and you have a show tonight? Wow, I really appreciate you being here. And then her fake ass turns around again. And it's like, oh, my friend Candy went to great links to be here for me today. And that it has been noted that she keeps missing events. And then we see, you know, her missing a lot of events. It's like, dude, you're asking, first of all, you're shit talking someone you're about to ask for a shitload of

money from like Sonny's rubbing me wrong. Yeah, but I think I wouldn't really rub it that. But yeah, it wasn't the purpose of that, though, for her to brag that like, wow, Candy misses a lot of events, but you made time for mine. I'm like, no, I meant the producers were finally said, Candy, you got to show up.

Yeah, you got to. So Candy's take is still late. So, so I need to decide to be the auctioneer, which means she's actually not the auctioneer at all. She's just sort of up there giving out awards with someone else named Michelle. Michelle, the hostess with the most is giving out the award.

So, I need to actually just saying everyone welcome to the event and she's giving her a biss off a big pat on the back for doing it. And meanwhile, Kenya's like shows up over an hour late and she's wearing this big red flowery dress. That's like, it's pedally, it's like everyone's in business suits and Kenya is like trying to serve a look. It's just kind of bizarre.

And it just, there's a, it's a lunch, it's a luncheon. And also, I don't really understand. First of all, I don't think they know what an auction is because they don't auction anything off. Can you just come out and start yelling at people to give money? They're not like, hey, guess what? We have this beautiful phone cover.

Okay, can we get some? Well, we're gonna start at $100. Can you just like, I don't think 50,000s enough. Let's raise 100,000. Can you get 5,000? Lady over there, you give 8,000.000. Like, this isn't an auction? I didn't get anything from my $5,000. Yeah, and then Sonia's like, by the way, though,

I have a surprise because like, I run in a lot of amazing circles, and yes, that is a pun because I have five gold medals for running, and a lot of these moms are like, incredible moms, and like, but there's one mom in particular who despite not having a single Olympic medal is just like an amazing cool OG mom and she makes motherhood look so easy even though I never really saw her motherhood like when their

kids were like kids. Now they're just like adults and everything. Anyway, Sheree. Sheree, it's just Kairos here. Come, come see your son. I mean, you just asked Kenya to auction stuff. She's got a kid. You just, uh, Candy just showed up for, what are these awards? And some of these awards, I don't even understand what, who came up with these awards? And how do you know who's best?

It's like the best scrubbing glasses, you know, Moira, like what the fuck? Moira. What is it? The best bento box packer for their kids lunch, Allison. What's the word? Your mouth is like, Susan really has to accept this award.

Please just roll that ball off her wing. Thank you. But Moth at Dom Dome, that was probably wandering around there dizzy after banging me up in your window so much. I know. So Kenny has this stage. And yeah, this is like, now, I mean, Kenny does a good job of this.

She starts getting people to put up their little paddles. You know, Candy, Candy Up is for $5,000, she just offers $5,000 to start with. And then Candy matches it. And then you can see that like, that like Drew does not it is not what up drew is like was ready to put in like $200 and she's like one who came with the boom box last year for her expensive gift on the expensive gift day

so candy candy is like by the way because there's candy keeps saying well there's $50,000 worth right here at this table basically with the TV stars so candy is like let by the way, because there's, there's, Candy keeps saying, well, there's $50,000 worth right here at this table, basically with the TV stars. So Candy is like, let's say, well, if 50 divided by seven, thinking in her mind, like, well, if we do, we could probably do that. As the Drew goes, seven. And Candy is like, yeah, okay, seven.

That Drew's like, uh, like Drew was not ready to spend $7,000. I just, she budgeted trying to act like she's so good. No, I'm not either. Like, you're going,000. I just, she budgeted right now. Not either. Like you're going to work. I'm showing up to work. You can't make me give thousands of dollars to somebody. No.

But everyone's matching at 5,000 and Drew was like, uh, okay, uh, 5,000. She's like, oh, I'm sorry. I just got a call from JoJo's principal. I'm going to have to take this. I'm going to take this outside. Sorry. I think my, so then Marlow call from JoJo's principal. I'm gonna have to take this. Take this outside, sorry. So then Marlow gives a very severe read to Keny. Marlow's so bad, I'm sorry. I don't care what anybody says.

Marlow sucks at this, okay? She's terrible at her job. I can't believe they hired her again. So Keny is walking around in this red rose dress and Marlow goes, you know the wizard of Oz when the house lands on the witch and those Ruby slippers are all crumpled up?

That's what Ken, he looks like. The slippers were never crumpled up. Do you even know any gay people? That's not the slip, nothing was wrong with the slippers. Dorothy literally took the slippers off and wore them for like 10 sequels, Marlow, get out of here. Yeah, I think she was thinking of like a Tim Burton movie where the shoes curled up.

Is that like Beetlejuice or something? So either way, I'm not giving it to her. No, no, she shouldn't have it. So either way, they all put in money. Cornie only puts in $2,300, which is why she's merely a friend of. And they raise 70. Well, good for her.

She's like, I'm not thinking $5,000 to have one. Hi, I know. I know. She's like, I'm not thinking $5,000 to have one. He's really on the line. I know. She's like, I don't even know what momination is. What is momination? So they raised $78,000. And Sonia feels great about it. And they raised $78,000 promised.

$78,000. $78,000 promised. They are not gonna be getting $78,000. I can tell you that entire table is going to back out. I would be like, I'm showing up for work. There is no way I'm paying you $5,000 to come to work. Okay. Shreyschek will be lost in the mail, unfortunately.

So then that's pretty much it, right? So then it's talking about the trip coming up and then we get a preview for the rest of the season. It's like mature audiences only and Drew Schutzer is like sex video, some sex, oh I guess it's the movie, the candy movie, right? It looks like it is Todd Tucker's movie going to be the thing that breaks up Drew and Ralph. And again, like Drew hooked up maybe with a lady. I was like really, they're really trying to do the

Kyle Richards thing, you know, like I'm intently this happened first. Kyle Richards is trying to do everybody else's plotline as usual. Okay. This happened way before the Kyle Richards plotline. Yeah, still not giving Kyle anything. It turns out, having a break doesn't make me like Kyle more. So, it's so bad. All right, everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here. Thanks for being with us on video, everybody. Hi, if you want to watch these and you don't want to be on Patreon, it's okay. Watch them a week later. We're on YouTube. We're accumulating a bunch of videos over there. So if you're bored, clean in the house, go on over there, turn them on for the day.

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