Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 375- Rawhead Rex (1986)
Episode Date: April 18, 2022In this week's surprise movie switcheroo, we decided to discuss the 1986 Clive Barker creature film "Rawhead Rex" and WOW is this a movie. Special topics for your consideration include: possibly unint...entionally paying homage to another film, the deep-seated fear of not actually being funny, hating your spouse but also jamming your tongue into their mouth whenever possible, terrible parenting, terrible creature design, terrible rocks and terrible baptisms. We've spent quite a bit of time with ol' Clive. You might enjoy our episodes on other films that he worked on, like  Episode 34- "Candyman," Episode 51- "Hellraiser," Episode 150- "Midnight Meat Train," Episode 205- "Hellbound: Hellraiser II," Episode 262- "Hellraiser: Hellbound," and Episode 320- "Nightbreed."  Are you a wrestling fan? Are you not a wrestling fan but interested in dipping your toe in the water? Either way, you need to check out the "Renegade" show put on by our friends at Enjoy Wrestling (www.enjoy-wrestling.com.) You can watch weekly episodes on their YouTube channel (in the linktree above) BEGINNING THIS WEEK! New episodes will be released between April 21 and May 5 and we think you're going to love it. Find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie (or almost at least usually an action movie) in our monthly bonus episodes Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.  Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down. Werewolf Ambulance is a horror movie comedy podcast.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Duh, Duh, Duh.
Duh.
Right out of the gate with sweet tour the ground.
Really?
Ask me how I am, Alan.
Really?
Ask me how I am, Alan.
How you am, Alan.
Terrible.
How are you?
Uh, not in the same room with you so sad. Yeah, we're
recording remotely because my kid was exposed to COVID. And as we record this, it's April 14th,
which means it's the second to last day of tax season. Technically, Monday's the last day,
but I was trying to be done tomorrow. Sure. So I've lost my fucking mind. Robb told me I'm behaving like a method actor th. th. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi to to thi. to thi. to to thi. to to thi. thi. to to to to to to thi. to too. too. too. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to trying to be done tomorrow. Sure. So I've lost my fucking mind. Rob told me I'm behaving like a meth-actor who's gone too far.
Which, sick burn. I definitely thought that was going to end with meth head.
No, it was much funnier. And then I told Alan that I was going to work as many Harlem Globetrotters references into this episode as possible.
And I think I'm, can you ring a little bell there?
One.
What great song that is though.
Sweet Georgia Brown?
So good.
So good.
I feel like it's one of the songs that I'm going to find out is super racist. Yeah, it does have a vibe that vibe too. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. tho. tho. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. the. the. thea. And, thea. tha. thea. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, tha. And, th racist. Yeah, it does have that vibe to it, doesn't it? Yeah. It's not
too far from a look away, look away, look away, Dixieland or whatever that song is. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, now I feel better, thanks. Well, I'll tell you, two reasons you should feel good for not being in a room with me right now. One, I told you earlier I had garlic satan wings for spec for dinner.
Which is garlic and farts. Yeah. Yeah. And two, I did a baby feet foot peel.
So yeah, this is the second time you've brought up foot peels to me and I just kind of let it slide the first time but I guess I'm here for it now. I am leaving dead skin all over
the place as I walk around. Oh my god. Because it gets rid of all your skin and
get you down to baby feet. I think I already have baby feet. Oh I got horse like
horn feet. Why what's wrong with your feet? I don't know they're all callous for me being awesome. I don't the the their feet I their their they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they're they're they're they're th. I don't know thi thi. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I te. I te. I te. I te. I'm te. I'm teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I'm te. I'm me being awesome. I don't know. I run long distances.
All right.
I like the idea that they might be baby feet like they're just fucking useless.
Like you try to stand up and they're like, why and fall down?
What if I did it and it just got down to real tiny little baby feet on the bottom
of my legs.
You probably stop kicking guns downstairs and stuff. It's true, it's true. Anyway, speaking of change of plans, this is not Eaton Alito.
Thanks Nina for giving us the heads up that
Eaton Alito was gross.
Yeah, I appreciate that.
Alan forwarded me the message and was like,
The message from Nina said basically this film has two sexual assaults
and a monkey starving to death in a cage in the first 15 minutes and we were like, yeah, no, fuck that, no, fuck that, no, fuck that suck.
No, that sounds like it sucks. And that is a gross movie and forget it then. My favorite was multiple people, multiple people reached out and said, hey, thanks for looking out for us. Yeah, yeah. Everyone was like, yeah, no, that sounds, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that that s- that that that that that that that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thu. thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu favorite was multiple people reached out and said, hey, thanks for looking out for us.
Oh, fuck, yeah.
No, it was, first of all, entirely selfish from everyone but Nina.
Not about you, it's about me.
Nina is the hero in the story.
So thanks, Nina.
Yeah, so instead what are we doing? What did your thu thuu thi thu- th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that is that is that is that is that is that is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. that is So thanks, Nina. Yeah, thanks for being the hero.
Yeah.
So instead, what are we doing?
What did your dumb friend choose instead of eating the line?
My excellent friend, Alan, chose the Clive Barker film?
Rawhead Rex, which I had heard of that had no idea what it was about.
Pre-Hell-Raser.
Yeah.
Post-terrible special effects.
I mean.
What this movie presupposes is.
Yeah.
A monster that can't close its mouth is scary. It can't move its face in any way.
And it enters every room, like the ultimate warrior on a coke binge.
I love that actually.
Because he like, I imagine that Rawhead Rex kind of like peaks around the corner
and then like comes back and is like, okay, you've got this, Rex.
And then just like, tears into the room, you know what I mean?
And that's how you'll end up in parts on go. Then he grabs the rope and shakes it super hard.
And his face paint starts to peel off? Oh yeah, he was the best. He was the worst.
He was so exciting. That music would come on, sprint down the aisle.
Okay, whatever, raw headrecks.
I like, the idea that we're describing like a pagan deity in this way.
It's a, it's a Clive Barker, pagan deity. It's not a real one.
What is Clive Barker doing?
What is Clive Barker doing? What is Clive Barker doing?
He's making me laugh a lot.
Have you read the story that this is based on?
Yes.
Tell me about the story.
Pretty close, it, Hughes pretty close to this.
The screenplay was written by one Clivington Barker.
The biggest difference is the shape of the rock at the end.
Someone on the internet described it as a potato rock and I was like, this is exactly right.
So in the book, it's in the story, it's definitely described as a potato shaped rock.
Okay. And this one was way more vaginal than that.
Really? All I could see was a potato. Oh, there's definitely a vague jay on there. Oh, I'll look at it again again. the to be. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the th. the the the th. the the the th. th. the th. the th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the tho the the tho the the the the the tho thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the. thea. to. tooo. tooooooooooooooo to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. Oh, there's definitely a Vaget on there. Oh, I'll look at it again. No, I won't. No, you won't. I have to be honest with you. I was having a second screen experience
during the climactic scene because it is the opposite of climactic. It is, in fact, anti-climactic. Katie. Katie. Yeah. What is the star of this movie's name? Oh, David Dukes? Oh, many David Dukes. thukes. thtta. I I I I I I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, the. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. I, I, I. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the. I the. I the star of this movie's name? Oh, David Duke? David Dukes!
Oh, many David Dukes.
A multitude of David Dukes.
Is he an actor?
David Dukes?
I'm assuming.
Oh boy, I couldn't, could have fold me.
He plays Howard Hallenbeck.
He is terrible. Husband to Elaine Helen Beck.
Oh my god, their name is Helen Beck, basically.
Yeah. Apparently he had a recurring role on Dawson's Creek.
Oh, he's on the crick.
I like that someone pointed out to us that the screenwriter of Scream or the director,
someone of the original Scream worked on Dawson's Creek.
Yeah, James Vanderbilt, right?
No, it wasn't James.
But like, I'll just let us have our little fun imaginary girl who we make a bullshit, it's fine.
No, I'm glad I like when people are like, these fucking idiots know nothing about horror,
or at least modern horror.
You're not going to teach us anything.
Well, I learned that, didn't you?
No, I didn't. I couldn't even tell you the facts that I was told.
No, that's true. I guess I didn't actually learn anything. The writer and or director worked on Dawson's Creek. A person who
once watched Scream also watched Dawson's Creek. Oh, I'm not done with the Helen Beck yet. So
you've got Robbie Hallenback and my personal favorite, Minty, Minty. Minty. What, not Mindy. Mindy is a fine name. No. Minty. What not Mindy? Mindy. Mindy is a fine name.
No. Your child is a flavor. Fresh and just clean. Yeah.
She's fortified with fluoride. She's a fucking button though isn't she? Oh my god.
Those chubby cheeks. When she has to go pee? They're're like, I go piss out of a bush by yourself, you're piece
of shit.
I screamed.
And, okay, first of all, in the 1980s, it was just acceptable to be openly hostile
to your children.
Are you basing it on this movie and on...
My childhood.
What's the not puppet master dolls, the Stuart Gordon movie with the terrible parents?
Oh my god, yes, they were being so mean.
Ugh.
You just can't do that shit now.
No.
No.
You've got to like support your child and hold them in the air while they urinate.
Yeah, Bush wees.
Yeah. Bush wees.
Bush Leigh. My first notice I saw this movie years ago and hated it. Did you?
But I feel like it's going to hit different today. I feel like you think that sometimes and you're rarely right.
I was right this time. I have to be honest. This movie gets me from the beginning
because it's using a very piratey font, which I like a lot for the opening credits. It's
very yo-ho-ho in a bottle of rum, you know. And then it's got David Duke and several
Niles. And that extremely European car that he's driving?
So he's driving around like a pastoral landscape and smoking a cigarette, and the score is wild.
How is it wild?
It sounds like it's a high-speed chase scene.
And why?
It does that thing where it's like,
banan, da, bada, banana, bana, da, banana, banana,
but nothing's changing? Nothing has changed. Nothing.
It's like they wrote the score to this inter-splicing, quick-cut scene of like, whatever.
Yeah, to nothing, nothing, fucking nothing.
A man driving a car and another man doing some yard work around a monument.
And also like what are those Bozos trying to do?
I don't know, but I am a big fan of Mitch and the guy with glasses, you're just like,
this thing's not coming down, I'm fucking out of here, he gives a shit.
Well, I mean, they're right though. Yeah yeah yeah it does
come down though it just needed a little lightning ding ding ding
and then it's like he when they leave they're like okay well we're gonna go
home and eat dinner the guy's like may the same dinner chok yeah and it's like
they try to fucking help you.
Dennis?
Oh yeah, Dennis, that's right.
Dennis is such a little bitch, though.
I'm gonna start wishing death on everyone who leaves my presence.
Yeah, right.
I'm like, well, I'm gonna go home and go to bed.
You're like, may you never wake up.
Dude, thee. well I'm gonna go home and go to bed you're like may you never wake up to me that same bed choke ya sir so while this is happening we see David Dukes aka
Howard Hollenbeck show up at a church to start taking pictures to which I asked
the question is he a church man?
Um, I don't think so, but he's also not a photo man, because he can't even act taking photos can like convincingly. He's just yelling F stop at his camera. Stop! Did you say that because of the
it was in the New York Times crossword this week? No, I didn't. Oh, it was. Wow. Look at me. I'm a real Wilshorts over here. Yeah. Wow, great
will shorts joke. That's for our Airedite listeners. So there's this stained glass of the church that is cooler than any stained glass that has ever existed in any church ever. Yeah, yeah.
It's like a beast creature.
Whose eyes are always shining red?
Reaking havoc.
And then a faceless something or other is holding up something that's shining a light on him.
I didn't realize that there was a piece missing and I thought the saint was just covering his face because he was embarrassed about the whole thing. I can't believe him in this movie.
Oh my god, my mother would kill me. This guy's driving through town and then a kid starts chasing him and
then later we find out that's his son. He couldn't stop for his son?
To be fair, his son sucks.
No, I am stunned that they killed his child.
I'm stunned that it didn't happen on screen.
Yeah, that's fair.
That is fair.
This movie is not pulling punches.
No, and Clive Barker has a thing about raw meat, where he thinks it's
like very provocative. He's like, what does this evoke for you? And it's like, Clive, I get
it. We're all me, you know? I fucking, okay, okay, I get. I do, I get it.
You're on the same, you, you and you and clever vibin.
You're getting, you're picking up what he's putting down.
Yeah, and then he puts it down again and again and again and again.
And then I watch a different movie and he does it again.
So, uh, this dude taking pictures at the, uh, the church the-o'c refer to them, some nerds singing about Halleluia. Yeah, definitely nerd singing about Hallalooia. Like a church choir or
maybe service, I'm not sure. And there's a woman behind them all and she's arranging
flowers, but just like moving the same flower around for like 10 minutes.
That's her job, I guess? I guess. Okay. Yeah.
Just like her job is missing easy layups.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, I'm a Washington general.
The rest of my life, hey.
What the listeners at home might not have seen is that we thought Katie was gonna throw
a bucket of water on us, but it was a bucket of confetti.
Yeah, that's funny though.
And now she has a basketball under her shirt
and she's pretending to be pregnant.
Have you actually seen the Harlem Globetratters?
Not live, no, I have watched them on the TV.
If they come to Pittsburgh, will you go with me? F yeah. All right, never seen him either.
I will 100% go to that. Just me and you, no family.
No, I'm not taking Lucy.
We're gonna get tore up as drunk watching the Harlem Globetrotter.
We're gonna have court side tickets.
We're gonna drink 30 icy light mangoes.
I'm gonna throw up and we're never gonna get to see the generals win. All right, I'm gonna be Al Pacino, you're gonna be Jack Nicholson, we're gonna be Corzett,
or do you want to be Spike Lee?
You could choose.
I'm gonna be Spike Lee.
I can't do that Jack Nicholson face thing.
Way did to they get a load of you.
It's me a drunk, drunk, 40-year-old woman. Ah!
Bring me a hot dog.
So lightning strikes the obelisk that Dennis is trying to dig out of the ground.
It's just like, why is he still trying to remove it? Something is wrong with this man.
When the lightning hits, the flower-ranging lady goes,
co-whah! and falls to the ground.
Was that his wife?
Oh, I don't know.
Okay.
Because what happens to her?
Well, she's arranging flowers on the altar.
Right.
And as we know, that's where the, like, some real power is laid.
Well, it's confusing because she, I thinkthink is touching the altar.
And I don't think anything bad happens to her.
No, no, no, other than like falling over.
Right.
But then Declan is touching the altar and he gets all kinds of fucked up mentally.
And then David Dup touches the altar and he just like gets a boo-boo.
Yeah, same thing. Same thing with the priest.
He gets like an owey on his hand.
Right, he gets blisters.
So like, why, what?
But the same time the lady's freaking out and the lightning is striking,
raw head rucks pops up out of the ground and says, yeah!
So I got really excited and I was like, it's a fucking creature. I love creature movies.
This is going to be so great. That was before I got a good look at him.
It's straight up, how can I put this delicately, looks like shit. Yeah, it looks like that alien that was made out of shit in that movie that we watched.
Oh, the alien factor. I think that might have been better than raw head wrecks. Because that one at least had th th this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this is this is this this is this th be this is th be th be th be this th be th. It th be the the this is the this is going the theat is going this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is going this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It th. It is th. It is going th. It is going th. It is going th. It is going th. It is going th. It is going the the the the the. It's going theat theat theat. It's going theat. It's going theat. It's going thi the. It's going thi that we watched? Oh, the alien factor? I think that might have been better than Raw Hedrex.
Yeah, because that one at least had jeans on.
Yeah, exactly.
Raw headrex just says like, torn pants, like a pirate.
Yeah, I mean, I like that he's huge.
Sure. His proportions are all fucked up. He's got a mouth inside of his mouth.
Is that just the actors? I'm assuming.
Oh, it sucks.
And then he's got this like plastic chest, like a he-man action figure,
but in order to keep, I don't know if it's his clothes or his fur, in order to keep it closed across his chest,
there's just like one horizontal strip
going like across his collarbones.
Yeah, like a pretty woman dress?
Like a pretty lady, a dress a pretty lady would wear.
Not a dress that was worn by Julia Roberts,
the film, Pretty Woman.
No, those are a little bit sludier.
Can I say sludier?
I think I can. Not when you're talking about the the the th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theateatier? I think I can.
Not when you're talking about raw head wrecks.
He's chased and you know it.
That's fair.
So he jumps out of the ground, literally yells,
Yeah.
He does.
He says, yeah.
And then Dad goes to the church, he's the, or dad.
I referred to Howard as dad for the longest time because they never said his name.
I've, yeah, it was news to me when you said Howard.
Yeah.
He goes in, sees the weird stained glass.
The verger is very standoffish with him for some unknown reason.
Well, because he sucks, I think.
The vicar's name is Coot. And he says to the verger, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, is, is, is, is, is news, is news, is news, is news, is news, tooes, tooes, is news news news news news news news, toe, is news, toe, is news news, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, is the, the, is the, the, the, the, the, the, is newse, the, the the the the the the their, is news.eaughe.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e Because he, the vicar's name is Coot.
And he says to the Verger, this Coot, does he happen to be an old one?
And the Virg just gives him like an icy stare, which is exactly what you should do when
someone makes one of your friend's name.
And David Duke is like, David Duke, this fucking guy. It's like, no, you're the, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. And, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, does, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, does, he, does, does, does, he, he, he, I will refer to him only as David Duke. David Duke is like, this fucking guy.
It's like, no, you're the, he, here's a thing.
My like greatest fear in life is that I'm not actually funny
and everyone's just laughing around me.
And I think that's what's happening to David Duke in this movie where he keeps saying
things that he thinks are funny and everyone's like ha ha and I hate it.
It makes me deeply uncomfortable. He, when he delivers that line I went,
oh, Cleve Barker hates Americans. Yeah. It felt like a condemnation of all American humor.
And truly fair enough. Also he's American, one of the cops is American, couple of them are Irish,
the vicar is British. It's just like you couldn't even get, you couldn't even do this, could
you? It's just, it's a very metropolitan area where they live, it's just the continental.
Uh-uh. Other words? Do you like that after the verdure tells him where to find the reverend or the vicar
or whatever, all of a sudden there's like faint alarm sounding and animals screaming in
the background?
So was that like sort of set to music that was barely music?
Maybe, the most avant-garde score.
It's just everything, all the sound happening is just insane.
Yeah.
So, I've never heard of a church position of the Verger?
Me either.
And we've watched a lot of Britbox.
I was going to say, I've watched specifically Granchester, which deals with an
Anglican priest, or multiples of them, working in Granchester, solving murders for someone no reason.
Yes, they have to, someone has to solve them.
Yeah, someone has to be hot and solved murders.
Speaking of being hot and solving murders,
did you finish season three of traces?
Oh, fuck yeah.
I gotta say I liked it better that they wrote those people off.
Spoiler alert for traces. Gone forever? Just, just out of everyone's think boxes,
they're just gone. I loved that so much. I mean, this is the TV show that in the first episode
introduces two families of main characters that were not mentioned in the previous seasons.
Yeah, you're right.
It was never mentioned that that one professor had a family.
And all of a sudden she's married to the kid.
I was stunned that she was married.
I thought he was maybe just her roommate.
Well, regardless.
Have you checked the chore wheel?
It's your time to do dishes.
But no, you're my husband. If you guys haven't watched Traces, should I get a shore wheel for my husband?
If you guys haven't watched Traces, I mean really don't, it's fine, you don't have to.
Are you watching The Bay?
I finished the most recent season.
Big Traces vibes on that show.
Very soapy.
Yeah, and like some like not great acting.
Oh, for sure. The boyfriend is like, how did you get a job?
Who are you? Who are you?
Mainly I've just been taking Kulanapin and watching Gardner's world, so.
Love you, Monty, Don. I'm not seeing that.
Oh, so we see the verdure. He gets his hands burnt,
and then he's seeing the world through the raw head wrecks his eyes.
He's just seeing like mystery jungle, basically.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we cut back to him, and he's in like, Dr. Huoh-wo-wow, wow, wow, wow. He's like all fading in and out and like, like, like, like, like, like, like, and like, and like, and like, and like, like, like, and like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. he's in like Dr. Huo vision of like wow wow wow he's like all fading in and out
like staticky. Okay. Yeah and then he starts laughing like this. He he the he he the he
cut to something else. I have to say that I found this guy to be a delight. Yeah for sure. Yeah. He was giving strong
who's the little guy in Ghostbusters two, who is?
Rick Moranis? No, Vigo the Carpathians. Oh, um, I can't remember his name. But he says things
like, someone has somewhere he came from and he's like, Zieppa Vesseid? Something like that. Janush! Janush!
Janush.
By am I covered in goop.
So the priest guy tells him, or Reverend or whatever the fuck he is, Vicar, tells him
to, that the, they don't have any records of this parish.
They've all been lost, someone stole them. Convenient. Yeah. And then... Why, why though? Why, tho? Why, why, that? Why, that? Why, th is th is that? Why, th is that? Why, th is th? Why, thi? Why, thi? Why, thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? I? I? I thi. thi? I, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. By, th. By? th. By? th, th, th? By? By? By? By? th. th? th. th. th. th? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? I? thi. thi. thi? thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this parish. They've all been lost. Someone stole them.
Convenient. Yeah, and then why though? Why does that matter?
Well, they've been hidden away in the basement. We find out later.
I don't know because he's doing research for some book or something. No, but why are the parish records gone? I don't, I don't know. I don't know. There's no rationale for why they were hidden. Okay. And why no one knows why they
have that whack-ass stained glass window. It's insane. Yeah. The Tall Man Pub. Is that a phantasm
reference? Oh, maybe, I hope so.
This is like 1986, right?
What was a phantasm?
Uh, 78? 79.
Plenty of time.
Plenty of time to write that.
Yeah.
I would love to drink at a bar called the Tallman.
Sure, for sure.
I love a British pub.
Yeah.
Great names.
Yeah, eagle and Child. Come on. We got shit over here like
Diesel. Diesel hasn't been there for like 10 years, I don't know. We got shit over here like
Benegens. Hoolahands. Something sports bar. Yeah. There's a place over here. Over on the North Shore. H. the pub. the pub. the pub. the tubub. the tub. the thub thub. the th. th. th. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. thub. the thub. the the the the the th. the th. th. thub. thub. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. th. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub tub tub tub tub tub tub tub tub tub tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. the tub. tub. tub. tub. tub. t bar. Yeah, there's a place over on the North Shore. I went to the
Pirates Home Opener and saw this. There's a place over on the North Shore called Mike's beer bar.
There you go. Nailed it, Mike. Beer bar. Do you have any other drinks?
Hmm. It's a beer bar. Ah.
I've got wine flavored beer if that's what you're after. Ooh, it's a tough look.
I try it.
Meanwhile, I'm almost to the bottom of this bottle.
Hell yeah!
Sorry guys, rough night.
So, um, why did Howard Hellenback take his fucking family on this shit-ass work trip?
They're miserable. They hate it.
They've been there for two months. Uh, excuse me, a month and a half, he says to his wife.
They're just like the not even remotely veiled hostility towards one another.
But then, and then when they're alone, they're sticking each other's towards one another. But then-
And then when they're alone, they're sticking each other's tongues in their throats.
Oh, I'm so glad we're in England.
All the other, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's insane. They're like on the street, fucking tongue bang in each other.
And a woman is just standing there long enough that she had to go excuse me. I mean to be fair she could have walked around. She had to wait till
she finished. Oh God. No they are somehow in love it doesn't make any sense. Perfect
chemistry between these two actors. I hate them so much. Your mother is a vicious rumor. That's what I'm saying
like she goes ha ha and it's like that's not a joke. It's not, that's not a punchline.
What if that's me? This is where I have the note, Howard, I hope the monster eats him.
Seriously, Howard does not deserve to live. Cut to a busted barn door swinging in the monster eats him. Seriously, Howard does not deserve to live.
Cut to a busted barn door swinging in the wind.
We're back at Dennis' house, where he's insane.
He, meanwhile, half these people are not Irish.
He's like a hip hop away from a lepricon hat, you know.
And his wife, who's preparing a beef stew while wearing a pinafore and cardigan, is not.
She is not.
When she's putting that food together, I just made a note that says I
fucking love potatoes. What's wrong with me? You got some Irish blood in you
out? Probably. Probably. Probably. You're pretty pale. Yeah, I said it.
Who doesn't fucking love potatoes though? No, potatoes are pretty pale. Yeah, I said it. Who doesn't fucking love potatoes though?
No, potatoes are pretty great.
Yeah, versatile as shit.
Can I say something you have to cut?
Yeah, this woman, this pregnant woman is making this beef stew and or whatever.
Wait, she was pregnant?
Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, because Katie.
They're in their 50s.
They are not.
Dennis is old as fuck.
That woman is way younger than me.
You think?
Oh yeah, for shizzle.
Wow, hard living there on Jenny.
So, because he like rubs her tummee before he goes out to close the barn door. I thought he just liked her.
And then, uh,
and then when, uh, spoiler alert, Rawhead Rex pops into the house, he immediately attacks
her stomach.
Oh, gosh, that's awful raw head wrecks.
Yeah.
He's like so fucking petty too.
Like, he's just knocking their groceries all off the shelves of the pantry.
Why? Why is he so petty?
He was giving these strong Bilel from basketcase vibes.
Where's just being a dick for the sake of it.
When Boulog was destroying the hotel room.
That was so good.
But yeah, when he busted in the house and he's just like, fuck your plates, fuck your eggs.
Oh, you have some flour?
Now you don't.
He just punched him.
Wrax.
He punched a bag of flour.
And why?
Because it was funny, I think.
Meanwhile, just looking so fucking terrible.
Oh man, he was great. So he, he mushes, Dennis, basically, just like, th. Just, th. Just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, to. F. Oh, to. Oh, to. Oh, tho. Oh man, he was great.
So he he mushes Dennis basically,
just like splatters him.
Yeah, he eats his face and then drags him around
for a real long time.
What is raw head rexist motivation?
Oh, he's just pure evil.
Okay. Unadulterated, pure evil.
So that's why he just does mean shit, too.
Yeah, and baptizes people and piss. We'll get to it.
I thought I hallucinated that. I overwhelmed it was like, no, he's actually fucking pissing on him.
So good. Okay. There's no way that someone didn't watch this movie, go, well, that's my shit. I'm into that. Yeah, and fine if it is. Yeah, do what's th you th you th you that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. that. that. that. that. that. that's that. that's that's that's shit. I'm into that. Yeah, I mean, and fine if it is. Do what you gotta do.
As long as everybody's on board.
So he...
We're also like in this movie, what the fuck.
I feel like Clive Barker's stuff always has like,
these things that would be labeled like deviant in, like, mean sex.
Yeah, and jeans sex too. The denim duker and like Uncle Frank.
I'm surprised we haven't done a come to daddy yet. Did you see the little mashup that one of our
listeners made that was oh yeah baby Jane singing I've written the letter and then
the girlfriend sang to daddy.
And it just like literally made my whole life.
You can't say we're not influencers at this point.
I just don't know that we're using it for good.
Sure, we're not using it to make millions and billions of dollars.
I don't think that's good.
It's not what I meant by for good.
What else are influencers doing?
I don't know, maybe like getting people to donate to charities?
We did that though, remember?
We raised all that money.
And a portion of her Patreon gets donated to charity, so.
Oh yeah, Alan has budgeted that.
Shhh! Oh yeah, Alan has budgeted that. Did you guys know that? Shh, don't tell them.
Okay, well you just did.
They're paying the Pittsburgh Food Bank to feed people.
That's wonderful.
Yeah. I bet they're happy about that.
I think that good people.
So, yeah, he chases Jenny upstairs in a protracted,
this movie is a cool cool one hour and 29 minutes.
It feels like an eternity at points though.
For sure.
Well, like, this scene where he's chasing her down a thousand miles of hallway.
It's a small house and you know he's gonna get her.
Yeah, yeah.
But then he kind of does it, right?
She's like left, okay?
She's just crazy, like he's driven her mad.
But was she the woman who touched the altar earlier?
No, no.
Okay, that was my question.
Yeah, and this isn't the same guy that was digging,
that guy's dead and left at the obelisk.
Right, they don't seem to almost the end of the movie. Which is insane, because it's his property, I think.
And he's missing.
And the whole town is a crime scene at this point.
Right.
Or village or whatever it is.
Yeah.
And why do I have a note that just says he's history, horny.
I think that was for Howard.
Oh, he is horny for history.
So they're like he like he like he like he and he and he and he and he and hethey're like he and his wife are walking around in the town,
sticking their tongues down each other's throats.
And this woman walks, like clears her throat at them and walks around them
and she's wearing like a red cloak with a cape.
And she turns around and he goes, she reminds me of something.
It's like, is this just a reference to Don't Look Now? It has to be, right? It has to be.
Because like, she doesn't come back.
No, she doesn't.
So there's no reason for her to remind anyone of anything.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
It's wild.
She reminds me of something,
such as the 1978 Donald Sutherland film Don't Look Now, also taking place in the
British Isles.
I mean, this couple is pretty much having a realistic sex scene in the streets anyway, so
maybe they're just re-enacting that movie.
Maybe, but like nothing will ever top that sex scene and don't look now. Holy shit!
So realistic, it was uncomfortable. Wow. Oh man.
So this Randolph guy shows up at Dennis and Jenny's place.
There's electricity buzzing for some reason?
I don't know what happened that made that happen.
Yeah, I have no idea.
And then, uh, Jenny started screaming, he calls the cops.
Her scared face is like when your kid jumps out from around a corner and tries to scare
you, but you knew they were there and you're like, oh, you got me.
You got me.
And Rawhead Rex is just dragging Dennis around by his head and it's fucking hilarious.
Yeah, that's just his thing I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And so the cop shows up and he's like, this is a revenge killing and it's like why?
Why do you think that?
What?
Why?
Great profiling, you nutsack.
The head, revenge killing.
Move along.
Why?
They were killed by vengeance. Cut too, quick cut.
To two teens making out with a child playing toys in front of them in a trailer.
Who? Is this like not awkward for anyone else?
So awkward!
I can't imagine being so horny that you have to make out with a child in front of you. The child is pretending like it isn't happening too.
And it's like, who are these people?
Is she his babysitter?
His sister?
Is that his brother?
It's his brother.
Neil is the teen is Neil's brother.
Okay.
Neil is the child.
I guess that makes sense as to why Neil is at his grave later
because I was like, that guy bullied you.
He should fuck himself.
Just a neighborhood kid who makes out in front of me.
Yeah.
No, it's his brother.
And why is his girlfriend so into him?
He's such a ding dong.
I mean, you know, horny teens, it's hard not to, you know? I guess.
I don't know. I'm fucking 48 years old. What I know about shit? Okay, so is Andy. We're contemporaries.
Yeah. So, Rawhead Rex rolls up. Why? It doesn't matter. He just does.
Because he's like, like, they go to make out in his woods.
These are his woods now. This is where he rolls around.
Oh, okay.
I do like that Andy and his brother just refer to each other as pig.
Yeah.
Like when Neil is stuck in the house, he's like, let me out, pig.
Yeah.
Rawhead Rex breaks Neil's toy just because he's an asshole.
Just a dick.
Just a dick.
Then he hangs Andy upside down to eat him, which surprised me.
Why hang him upside down if you're just going to eat him?
You get all the good blood coming down.
I don't know.
Vampires to try that.
Yeah, well they did it in that, uh, that let the right one in movie. Remember, they hung
the person up in the tree? You're right, you're right about that. To get all that good blood out. Um, Neil is wearing a jacket that on the back just says muscle power, I wanted so badly. If you don't show to my house at some point in that Italian, what was
it, Adidas jacket or sweatshirt from Rocky 4? Yes, somebody found it for me much
cheaper and I was like about to pull the trigger on it and then I was like, what are you doing?
Dude, I will give you the money to buy that. I just don't, it's just wasteful I don't need it.
Nonsense. You need to be wearing that and a jacket that says muscle power at the same time.
On the front it just says okay. I imagine it's, I don't know, Oklahoma.
You're either going to wear the Italian or the Adidas sweatshirt with that or the
Arnold is numero uno t-shirt that Arnold Schwarzenegger is wearing in some promo pick of himself
and muscle power jacket. What a piece of shit. He's great. Come on. You can be both things I think. Oh sure. I've made a career out of it. Yeah, I have a note that says muscle power jacket, pretty cool.
It is very cool.
So another very cool thing that I actually really liked was that the girlfriend runs back
to the area, the sort of caravan park, and she's still holding Andy's severed hand which I liked a lot.
Because she doesn't notice that Rawhead Rex snatches him as they're running.
That's a lot of not noticing but I still think it's very funny. Yeah it's very,
because she's like, what do you think Andy? It's just your hand? It's just a floppy hand.
And everyone of the caravan park is just like, what? Yeah, they're useless these people.
I do like that their first reaction is, oh, we got to beat this thing's ass. Yeah, and then they don't.
Then they don't. I mean, like, to be fair, it's he, to be fair, it, he, raw head wrecks looks so shitty though, like I just want to give it a hug, you know? Sure.
And be like, it's gonna be bad, you're gonna grow into that face, you know?
I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
He's verging on EAT territory where it's so ugly that it's cute.
Yeah, you almost feel bad for him.
You want to be like, it gets better after high school, I promise. Hey buddy, let me help you close your mouth. I imagine that you have them close this mouth and then there's right back open.
But a cool...
It's like that shark from Elotha Moskualo that's like how could it possibly be swimming around
with his mouth open like this.
Tell me about the cops in this movie.
Well, they're useless.
Yeah. Because it in this movie. Well, they're useless. Yeah.
Because it's a horror movie.
They aren't willing to hear anything
about a large creature, which is kind of crazy,
because the way he's describing it, it does sound like it could have just been a large animal.
Sure. So like, really can't give that any credence? I'm assuming they're just
hearing like whack jobs that are seeing Bigfoot like twice a week in this town. That could well be.
You're right about that. They're all going to the tall man and getting pissed and then talking nonsense.
That sounds like a great life. Yeah. But yeah, like Howard's talking to them and it's like, of course these cops think you
suck.
You do suck.
They think a truism.
Yeah.
Do you ever read, Am I the Asshole on Reddit?
Sometimes, yeah.
What of the possible, like, votes that you can make is everyone sucks here, and that's
how I feel about this movie.
No, come on, not Minty.
You're not dragging Minty into this.
No, poor baby, Minty.
I honestly hope that both of her parents would be killed and leave her an orphan, which isn't
something you should generally hope for a child.
But the cops are just like, Detective Gissing, Inspector Isaac Gissing, is like putting
his...
A good Irish name.
A good Irish fedora that he's also wearing.
He just like puts his cigar out and the other guy's tea because he's like, why are
you believing this nonsense as American dushbag is telling us. So ridiculous. So ridiculous. And then the, the other guy's tea, because he's like, why are you believing this nonsense as American douchebag is telling us?
So ridiculous.
So ridiculous.
And then the other guy is just completely nondescript.
I don't remember a thing about him.
I can't even bring up his face.
He's just wallpaper.
So cut to Howard going back to the church?
Because he's like, I got to get to get to get to get the the their their their their to get their their to get their their to get to get their to get to get to get their to get their their to the church? Because he's like, I gotta get in more images of this weird stained glass, because I feel
like there's something going on here.
And he's also reading Latin at this point, which made me think of, I don't read Latin.
Oh, wait, yes, I do.
Oh, this movie would have been so much better if it was directed by an Italian. I mean, it has that kind of vibe to it of just like this small, like small, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, a has that kind of vibe to it of just like this small, isolated village with
some sort of evil and like a weird monster.
Yeah, yeah.
But without the charm.
Yeah.
It's a different flavor of charm, let me say.
It's basically, it's like, let sleeping corpses lie.
Remember that zombie movie with like the hippie guy who goes on a
motorcycle ride out into the countryside? Nope. Okay. Wait, what else happens in it? It's a real
slow burn of a zombie movie. There's a woman who's addicted to heroin, her husband likes to
take pictures of had. The movie feels like a
dream. It's it's very... We did do it on the podcast. Weird. Recently? What is time? I don't know.
Yeah, fair enough. This is episode 375 of this podcast. Is it really good for us? It's disgusting. So Howard's taking
pictures of the stained glass with his Polarid camera and Declan walks up behind
him, grabs the camera and crushes it and it's fucking funny. It's super
fucking funny and then Declan calls him the sea word, which I kind of agree with.
You fucking sea bomb.
Yeah.
Like, this is set back to back with then Howard getting in the car and his wife having trouble
figuring out where they're going and he's like, oh kids your mother's an idiot can't read
a map this stupid bitch. You're like, Jesus Christ, dude. And she's like I am just such a stupid bet. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. th. th. th. th. th. th. I am just. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. I am just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.. You're like, Jesus Christ, dude.
And she's like, I am.
I am just such a stupid bitch.
Oh Dublin, oh Dublin.
Let's go to Dublin.
Where's Dublin?
I don't know.
I can't read a map.
I'm just a lady.
My vagina won't let me read this map.
This is the point at which I hope that both of them died and left the children orphans.
So poor baby Minty has to pee.
Yeah.
And there's nowhere to go, so they pull over.
Yeah.
How old do you think Minty is?
She looks smaller than my kid?
I was going to say maybe she's four.
She might be four. Yeah. So, they tell her to just go off by herself.
What's mom's line?
She's going to have to learn to do this by herself at some point.
Right, not today.
Yeah, when she's like 15, mom.
Slow your rule.
Yeah. And also, like, if you saw something you believed, to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, like, like, like, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too. And, too. And, too, tol, tol, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, tol, too.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a.a. too.a. too. too. too. so sincerely that you reported it to the police,
would you really let your like precious angel baby run off out of sight?
No, and luckily dad does not.
He goes. No, he does know because he goes up to the gate and he pushes her like down behind the like
mausoleum or whatever. No, have a piss right here in front of you.
Also the fact that she's like don't look daddy
makes me think that like he is not doing his share of child rearing. Of course.
No. And then she goes and pees on a dead rabbit. Yeah had it come and then Rawlhead goes to the car and eats Robbie.
I was stunned because he like we don't see Robbie's body
we just see like maybe his shoe or something. Yeah yeah and then in the next
move and then in the next scene they're talking to the police and one of them is
like we'll find your son's killer and it's like did they find his body?
Do they know he's dead? Because if not you're being totally insensitive. There was a lot of blood their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their their th. th. th. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. th. th. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. their. their. their. their. their., you're being totally insensitive. There was a lot of blood. Well, yeah.
In their defense, there was a child's worth of blood on the ground.
Kids have a lot of blood.
Yeah.
Kids are like blood balloons.
Thanks, Dracula. Why don't more people eat babies?
It is a modest proposal.
And also it's like, RIP Robbie, you were the lesser child anyway.
No one cares that you're dead.
People are more bummed at that issue of secret wars of the Marvel comic book,
that there was the first Marvel comic book
that brought all of the Marvel superheroes into one storyline.
They're more sad that that 1986 issue got ruined by your blood.
Oh yeah. Did you recognize that?
I did. Good issue?
I mean, I would have been what, 12? I would have definitely been reading that issue at this point
in time, so yeah. I mean, if it have been what, 12, I would have definitely been reading that issue at this point in time.
So, yeah. I mean, it was a fine story. A lot of kind of really convoluted and it was just a money grab because you had to buy all these different issues to get the whole story. Oh. Some of it took place in Iron Man, some of it took place in Spider-Man, that kind of thing. So you mean to tell me the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. thi. thi. It was kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind. So, so, so, so th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi. thi. s are just money grabs? Yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, right.
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so I guess Robbie's dead. Yeah. Yeah.
And now Howard is convinced that it has something to do with the church and the stained glass,
yeah.
And he's going to go fucking solve this shit by himself, because the cops ain't doing dick.
So he goes and talks to the vicar, who is terrible at comforting him.
He's useless. His child has just died.
He's like telling him, he's like, if thethe Vickers actually like he told him he lost
his stamp collection not his child. Yeah the Vickers like get the fuck out of my
house and you're like but why? Comforting people about the death of their
loved ones is like a big part of a religious figures job. I do not know. I do not know either. So meanwhile Rawhead Rex is just terrorizing the
countryside. We cut back to the trailer park or the caravan park, forgive me. And there's like a
bunch of people drinking in a trailer and Rawhead Rex attacks the trailer and the one guy, his whole
mission is to keep his beer upright while the trailer is flipping over.
And I was like, I like that dude.
That dude.
Also, in this scene you really get a good look at Rawhead Rex's heaving bosoms, which
are weird.
This is also the scene that gives us our boop shot for this movie.
It sucks though.
It really sucks. Rawhead Rex just like rips her
top off and holds her up in front of all her neighbors? He doesn't rip her top off
off. Someone trying to grab her to pull her back into the trailer just grabs her
shirt and rips it off of her. Sucks so bad. That's what I have the note.
Rawhead rips a woman out of a trailer and in an limp dick attempt to save her, her friend rips her shirt off.
It sucks.
I really hate it.
I don't know.
She's like already so vulnerable and here she is with like the tits out in front of everyone
she knows.
There was, it was like, well, how are we going to get titties in this?
Here we go. Tiddies. Bring that bell.
So now the cops are at the caravan park and why do they have machine guns in full
Ryanair-on?
I have no idea.
This little village cannot be going ape all the time.
At this point do they believe there's a monster or no?
I mean I think they do once you like they see him killing people.
Okay. Because thethey see him killing people.
Okay.
Because the cops see him murderizing.
Right, okay.
And this is where he hypnotizes Inspector Gissing.
How does he do that?
Because he's got those eyes that shine red and hypnotize people.
Why doesn't he use it all of the time?
Because sometimes he wants to eat them. Okay. Adulay, Katie.
All right.
And also he's like co-cop just drives away while the monster grabs his friend.
It's like, why are you leaving him?
And then immediately wrecks the car, which is very funny.
It's so funny.
There's a point in all of this like fucking hypnotizing and raw head running around
where the subtitle just said rawhead whooshing.
Rawhead.
Rawhead.
Also raw head.
And here's where we see Declan becoming subservient to raw head and rawhaid baptizing him
in the most insane scene I will see this week in anything
I'm going to watch. Yeah, to describe it, it's shot from a bit far away. Yeah. Declan is kneeling on the ground
and suddenly rips open his vestments, is that the word? Sure, yeah. Sure. Rips open his vestments. And raw head wrecks has his back to us. We sort of see Declan around his body.
And then there's just a stream of piss hitting him in the face and neck. It's so fucking funny. It's just like it's almost subtle.
You're almost like am I seeing what I'm seeing?
It's like Rawhead had a full 40 before he'd unloaded on the sky.
It goes on so long.
I mean, a creature that size is going to have an enormous bladder.
Sure, sure.
Yeah.
And probably an enormous hog, I'm a little sad we didn't get to see it.
I would have liked to have scoped out raw headstick. Yeah. Maybe there's a director's cut. Oh God. So
someone says to Declan like what do you think is going to happen to you and this
is all over? What do you think he's going to do with you? And he just goes, kill me!
I hope! He turns into a Goth teen.
It's so fucking funny.
And at that point I was like,
Declan is great.
I am rooting only for him.
All of his lines from this point out
have fuck involved in them?
I love him.
He goes, get up the fucking stairs,
fuck face!
Nowhours.
Meanwhile, it's taking the cops, like a stupid amount of time to to to to to to to to thi thi. thi thi., thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi.. And, tee. And, teeea. And, tea. And, tea. And, tea. And, thea. And, thea. And, the amount of time to track down this gigantic
creature who is like indiscriminately killing people.
They show up at the church that's on fire and they just all point their guns at it.
No one goes in to see what's going on.
Not a fucking care.
There are a bunch of firewalks though.
Yeah, there's like 30. Because the inspector dump are a bunch of firewalks though. Yeah, there's like 30 because
The inspector dumps a bunch of gasoline uphill from the cops so it rolls downhill onto them and then lights them all on fire
All of them including the vicar who really choose that death scene. Oh my god. There's like I will make this last
There's something There's something in the altar.
He's like, camera on me.
Camera.
So there was something in the altar all along.
I think it's the rock.
Yeah, the potato-shaped vaginal rock.
Uh-huh.
Potato vagina rock. It looks like a fertility goddess slash potato.
I don't think that at all. I think it looks like shit. Well, I think we're supposed to understand that it is a female-looking rock, because as Howard is holding it up, he says, okay, sweetheart, let's do this. Oh, to the rock. Oh, the rock, because it is a... the rock. The rock. The the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the f. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the up he says okay sweetheart let's do this to the rock because it is a vagina
so you can call it sweetheart. Oh right that explains so much. Yeah and it does
nothing it doesn't do anything he gets smacked around by Raleigh-Eat-Rex.
It seems like he ought to have tried to sneak up and hit him though he does not. He just gets right in front of him like oh hey hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. the, the. the. thi. the to the. to to to to to to to to to to have tried to sneak up and hit him though. He does not.
He just gets right in front of him like, oh, hey, it's me.
If I remember correctly from the story, and I remember this infuriating me,
someone finds the potato-shaped rock in the ground,
picks it up and hits raw-head wrecks in the head with it, in a potato-shaped indent,
and it puts him back into the ground, the end. Oh, Clive.
But this has a more like ladies doing it for themselves vibe to it.
Well, yeah, I guess. So he kills Declan.
Somebody kills Declan. Yeah, yeah, Declan lets Raw Head Rex kill him. He's excited to have it happen.
And I love how, um, Rawhead Rex pumps his fist when he gets excited.
He kind of does like an I just got a tou-doubrex
to get that windbreaker.
Yeah, or I got enough morrow bucks to get that windbreaker that I've been aiming for.
the teat ski.
Fuck you get in to start saving up for the home trampoline. Or the jet ski? Did they really make a jet ski? They did, but I think it would have,
you would have had to kill yourself to get to the jet ski. The wind that you would take in the
face from riding the jet ski would just be too much. It would be the final breath you'd be taking. So here's here is David Duke's wife.
Elaine, yeah.
And he goes, a woman.
It had to be a woman.
It's like, yes, a stupid, naggy, harpy, no map reading woman.
But it couldn't have just been one woman.
An ancient ghost woman also had to show up to help her to it.
Oh, I missed that entirely.
You didn't see the phantasmal woman that came in like gave her extra power?
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
I might have been texting, I don't know.
Because all of the like standing stones that are in the cemetery light up.
And like this ancient spirit woman shows up. You were not watching this movie at this point.
This takes a really long time and it's a lot of just like flashing blue and white lights
and her holding a rock above her head and raw head wrecks going, oh!
I mean my next note says this is going on a while. Yeah. So they kill raw head wrecks. He just goes into the ground. Like he's just in a hole in the ground and it's a thi, and it's just just a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a thi the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. And it's a lot th. And it's a lot thi. And it's a th. And it's a lot th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a th. And it's a thi. And it's a thi. And it's a thi. thi. thi. And it's a thi. thi. thi. And it's a thi. And it's a th. And it they kill raw headrecks.
He just goes into the ground.
Like he's just in a hole in the ground and they're like, well I guess that's it, go home,
bye bye.
Meanwhile, we've heard a thing earlier about how he was buried alive and they thought
that would be enough, but it wasn't.
Right.
Why would it be this time he's buried with the stone. I don't know.
But we find out it's not enough because... Immediately he pops back up. Yeah, Neil
the next day Niel's in his brother's grave side and Roy Hedrex pops out of the
ground and goes, B. The end. Holy shit. Katie. Alan. Tell me how much you love this movie.
I could not believe this is a movie.
It was so stupid. I mean, I think there's something to be said for something that's really terrible,
but done in all sincerity. You know, there's nothing tongue-in-cheek about this movie.
This movie is sincerity as far as the eye can see.
Yeah.
Ah, I find that equal parts embarrassing and amazing, I guess.
We're like, aren't you just embarrassed for them?
No.
They did a thing.
I think there's David Dukes who thought he was acting.
That man was on Dawson's Creek.
You leave him alone.
Fair enough.
That's full of good actors such as James Vanderbeek.
He might be Dawson's Creek.
I have no idea if that's a character or a place.
that's...
James Vanderbilt, thi.
James Vand.
their ti. Maybe, I'm not sure. Okay, okay. And that's how far I go, it's as far as I know.
Give me a rating on this movie.
No, I want to talk about Dawson's freak, a show I've never seen.
Oh, what?
We've been talking about a lot.
A lot lately.
I'm sorry, that's all on me.
I don't know why that's happening. I thought it was a lot of fun, but it's just like,
like when you told me that you were watching it, I was like, it's the best and the worst
and I don't even know.
That's how I feel about it.
I'm gonna give it two heaving bosoms.
What about you?
Per my earlier note where I hated it the first time, I very much more enjoyed it this
time.
I think I was just at a much more miserable point in my life when I watched it the first
time.
So, um, it's very silly.
This is a great movie.
It's Halloween night.
You just put this on while you're hanging out with friends and you can talk about whatever,
you don't have to pay attention. No, and clearly I didn't.
And eventually you're all gonna be screaming
because a man is getting pissed on.
So,
I like that after the pissing,
and you're like, well, I'm gonna check out now.
I can do other stuff.
This movie has peaked.
I'm gonna give this a solid 6.34. That's, that's, th, th, th, th, th, that's, that's, that's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's a th, I's, I's a th, I'm a th, I'm a th, I'm a th, I'm a th, I'm th, I'm th, I'm gonna, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. tooooooooo. toooooo. too. tooo. too. too. too. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. 6.34. That's a good score for this movie.
I think I'm very wary of Clive Barker in general.
For sure.
Like Hellraiser?
No, he's, oh, fucking, uh-
Midnight Meat Train? No, thank you.
Nightbreed?
Mm, I'm good.
Wait, was that the one with the mutants?
Yeah, with like the flesh-dried locks and stuff?
Yeah. Oh, Clive. He's just not my flavor. No, it's a, it's like rum raisin, you know? It's the ice cream they're like, fine, I'll take it if that's the ice cream we've got, but like I'm never choosing it. Right, right. All you've got left is a jelly donut. Yes, all'm going to eat it, but I'm not stoked about it.
It always weirds me out that you don't like a jelly donut.
It's just not my favorite.
Give me a Boston cream all day.
Yeah.
Oh, I love a Boston cream.
Yeah.
Oh, cus' tasks.
Yeah.
I'll t a Pittsburgh cream here. Oh, okay, of course you do.
Pittsburgh left, Pittsburgh cream. Pittsburgh left is a real thing. Did you know that when Uber
was doing their autonomous driving cars here, they programmed them to pause a beat at left
turns to see if the car, like at intersections where there isn't a green left turn to see if the car in front of them was going to go? Oh really? A very a very a very a very very very very very very very very very th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. thi. to, to, to, to, to, their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. teturn to see if the car in front of them was going to go? Oh really?
A very real thing.
Okay.
For those of you who don't know what a Pittsburgh left is, it's when a light turns green
and you're supposed to yield to oncoming traffic and you step on the gas as hard as
you can and spin the wheel to make they let you go, two, they try to teapone you. Oh yeah, because you had it
coming. I always love doing it in another city and then being like, oh fuck, you can't
do that here. You can do it in Philadelphia, but that's because no traffic laws
are adhered to any time in Philadelphia. No, Philadelphia is a lawless land. I was driving on the Philadelphia on like the turn bike bike, to tow, tow, tha, tha, tha, on, tha, on, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I bike, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, they, thi, thi, thi, I thi, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. I thin, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooan, I they. I thi. I thoooooo. I thiike going into Philadelphia, like where those the boat houses are, you know? Yeah, boathouse row. Yeah, I was driving my band's old van Beverly and a man side swiped me and just
got over three lanes and exited. I was like, oh you just hit me.
No, we didn't. No, we didn't. My ultimate feel, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're very long into a long into this episode but I have to the story. My th. My th. My th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm toda. today. today. today. today today today today th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm to tell the story. How far are we? How far in are we? An hour in three minutes.
Oh boy.
My favorite, favorite Philly story is my friend pulled up to a stoplight and saw a stop sign, or
a stop sign, a four-way stop, and saw a car coming, was like, there's no way they're going
to stop.
And this car just blows through the car, it's just a middle finger sticking up in a window.
The most Philadelphia thing that could happen.
I love that so much.
It's just a microcosm of a city.
Fuck you for thinking I was going to stop.
You're the asshole in this situation.
There's no response to either.
You never get the chance.
No, that's why they win.
They've won that day.
They won.
They have won.
Kany, can I read to a note from a patron?
I would love that.
They are not.
They are not.
They're delightful human beings.
Hi, Katie and Alan. Hello. First, I would like to say thank you for all of the laughs. You're welcome. I've found your podcast last year and quickly binge through all of your episodes.
Both of you are absolutely hilarious, and if you two aren't friendship goals, I don't know what is.
Oh, that's wonderful. That's very scary. When I found out that my kids' school had closed due to COVID, I went into the in my office, cried and then just texted Alan.
And I'm here for you, anytime you need to text me.
Alan's giggle fits are highly infectious.
Oh, yeah.
I take that. I'm a disease.
I've got it all over my skin. It's like, oh. That's Skabies.
In your intruder episode, Katie asked for more Renee Estevez.
Well, look no further than Sleepaway Camp 2, unhappy campers.
I didn't know she was in the sequel.
This movie is stupid and all the right ways and features Renee Estevez in a starring role along with Pamela Springsteen, what?
Bruce Springsteen's sister, as Angela, I recommend the movie next time you want some fun junk
food for your brain.
Thanks again for the many, many hours of entertainment.
I look forward to it every week.
Miles.
Miles, I look forward to you every week. You don't know it. I don't know it, but I do.
Thank you so much. And also can we put Sleepaway Camp too on our list because people always want us to do
sleep away camp, but I just like, it's been done, right? Yeah, yeah. But I would like to do a sequel.
Yeah, and to see Renee Estevez again and all of her Renee Estevez glory.
I just want to dip into a little Renee Estevez.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
But instead of that, what are we doing next week, Katie?
We are doing, we were going to do an alive rock block.
It was going to be eaten alive and, wait a minute.
First of all, thank you, Miles. You're the best. I don't feel like I enunciated that enough. We thanked him, but thank him again.
Thank you. You're the best. We were going to do Eaton Alive and then It's Alive, but now we're just going
to do It's Alive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which someone recently recommended to us. They did. I'll have to look who that was up and report in the episode. Yeah, you'll probably do that.
Yeah, because they were the one who said,
I posted this on Facebook and sent you a message.
Oh, that's right, because now it's legally binding.
So that's why we're doing it.
Because they wrote it on, in Facebook, in blood.
You send it to us in Patreon blood. That's it.
See the via. That's it. That's it. So yeah. Patriant, send us a vial of your blood.
Did you not do that because some of you have my address?
I've had a little bit too much to drink.
I'm sorry, that's a bad idea.
Also, that has to be illegal. That's a biohazardous material.
Yeah, calm down Billy Bob Thornton.
Stop trying to get all the people's bloodss bloods bloods bloods bloods bloods bloods bloods people's thals people's thals people's thals people's thoes people's to get other people's blood. So come back for
It's Alive. Sorry this is a very long episode, but you know you love it. You guys love it.
I only got into Harlem Globetrotters references and I am fucking disappointed.
Look forward to more Harlem Globetrotters. We won't remember to do that next week.
Never. It's gone from my brain already. You have anything else you want to say to these nice people?. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this thi. th. th. this. this this. this this this this. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. Sorry this. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. this. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. thi. thi. the. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th we won't remember to do that next week. Never, it's gone from my brain already. Do you have anything else you want to say to these nice people?
Hey, be nice to each other. It's a hard, it's a hard times out there.
Yeah.
We're all in this shit, you know.
Yeah. Love each other and we love you.
Yeah. Love each other as we have loved you, our children. Also Alan and I are starting at cold. There will be piss baptisms.
Oh my god yes. I can piss super hard. Thanks for listening to another episode of WhereWulf
Ambulance. Bye. Piss baptism. Oh, I'm empty inside. The Axe and I did pools, Savini's sightings at the pool.
No way to wait, to make funnets to fulfill reviews.
Gilly clouds and laugh of face,
getting in the atmosphere,
A few in time-tasked case.
Please make I continue to pray.
E&M.D. Maraud and comedy reviews hungry, hungry, Brian, and Stephen Gang.
E.M.T.
We live deliciously at the-tree so he's nicely cut to daddy.
A paranormal act in tisies from Mr. Patrick's city.
E.M.D. END, END.