Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 387- Wrong Turn (2003)
Episode Date: July 11, 2022Hi EMTs, we're both on vacation this week so you get what you get and you like it! Hey, give us a call and leave us a voicemail! You can call 412-407-7025 and let us hear your sweet sweet voices. Othe...rwise, find us online: Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month. Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.  Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I bought a 12th bag so we better work our way through it.
No way, see what a weird beverage?
I don't know if I like it or hate it.
What do you think?
I bought a 12th bag so we better work our way through it.
No, my sea light, mangoes on the shelf's guys.
No, so we're sponsored by a different beverage this week.
A thing that's a th in college as well. Natural light. Maddy Light!
Matter days, red, white, and blueberry lemonade.
It's a beer that tastes like candy.
It's also a beer that's a great...
Oh no.
I just spelled it all over my fucking self.
Yeah, America!
Yeah, it's my right.
It is a very, a very representational of America beer. It's cheaply laid out and tastes artificial.
Yeah.
Boom, take that America.
It's got a bunch of lawn flamingos on it, which is just to let you know that it's tacky.
I like that their design department's like, yeah, whatever.
Drink it, it's natural light.
What the fuck do you care? Yeah, I mean, honestly, I'm about four or five sips.
I'm enjoying it a bit more, but I can foresee the other side of the bell curve
where I'm gonna like it less.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like it'd be good on a hot day by the pool.
Mm-hmm.
Not just sitting in a couch with your friend? No, no, no, whatever we're drinking it Katie Alan what are we here to talk about this week actually before we get into that. Oh shit
Can I get a breaking news bulletin? Happy said? Oh, oh yeah, buckle up Duhh td-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-a-a I really liked that. Thank you. The long national nightmare is over. I saw Tom
Savini in the Bloomfield Pool. Oh, tell me how tan he was. He was so so tan. So, so, so, so tan.
Did you see the post on our subreddit where someone ran into Tom Savini?
And the to all Tom Savini could ask them was if the bloomfiel pool was opening this year?
It was the most perfect interaction someone could have had
with Tom Savini regarding this podcast.
Yeah, I think I've heard of it.
Me too, Tom Savini.
A lot of people say that.
Yeah, I think I've heard of that.
You know you haven't.
You'd remember.
It sounds like some words that I've seen together before. But it was just, it felt like an, I know we're still living in a pandemic, but it did feel
like the close of the book where I could see Tom Savini in his natural habitat again.
Sure, no, I mean I feel like nature's healing.
Yeah, yeah. I mean everything else is garbage, but yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll always have Tom Savini at the pool. But on that note, what are we doing this week?
Oh, Katie, we're driving somewhere when we've made a wrong turn.
Yeah.
I mean, I think there were some wrong turns made, yeah.
To 2003, starring Eliza Dushkill, and a man who I only refer to as ghost ship.
Ghost ship! I was so happy to see ghost chip back on the big screen.
That's Desmond Harrington for you playing along at home.
Yeah. Everyone in this movie look like you knew him from something.
Sure. I think that's a lot of TV actors. Okay. And Jeremy Sisto, a TV actor.
Oh, Jeremy Sisto. I love him. I just have such a thing for him.
Oh, really? Yeah. You think he's hunky? I do.
Okay. I can see that. Yeah. I mean, ghost ship's nothing to sneeze at either.
No, he's not my style. Yeah, sure. Jeremy Sisto is all my footer. It's going to go to the nurse and I'm just really into that. Ah, clueless, it's truly the perfect movie.
I need to watch that movie again.
I think you'd like it.
I'm sure I would. I loved it back in the day.
Good. I remember realizing that it was a retelling of Emma while I was watching it.
Yeah. I was like, oh, this is Jane Austin shit. I th th, I th, I th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th like, oh, this is Jane Austen shit. I only know that because you told me
that. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm the cool guy. You're the well-read one. I don't know if that's
true. I've not read that many classics. Sure. Yeah. Sure. Sure. I haven't even told you this. And I haven't even told them this. But thank you for giving me the song of Ach Ach Ach Ach Ach Ach the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. I the. I the. I the. I was. the. the. I'm that that that that that that that that that that. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I that. I that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm. I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm. I this, but thank you for giving me the song of Achilles for my birthday.
Oh, okay.
It's so fucking good!
Oh, I'm glad you like it.
You guys read that book?
Go read that book, it's so fucking good.
Man, her other book, uh, Circe is phenomenal.
I will read that next.
It's so good.
After I read the other book you gave. Then I passed on to you. And after I read it, I'm gonna pass it on to Perry. Hell, yeah. Y'all, give books to your friends. They'll love you for
it. Katie. Rock climbing, your thoughts? No thanks. All right. I would do an indoor rock climbing thing
where you fall into like mats. Sure. Which is not rock climbing, but I guess wall climbing. I do that. Not going up out of a fucking mountain, are you crazy?
It's definitely in there with like,
yeah, if I'm being chased.
Oh, if it's the only exit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like for Funsys, nah, I'm good, thank you.
And look at the guy who's doing it.
Rich, fuck off.
She does say to him, don't be a dick rich. I was just like strong angry.
I love that we never learn her name, do we?
No. He calls her slow poke, I guess that's something.
Oh, it's pokey. It's pokey. And then he dies immediately, which is just so, I'm so thankful for.
Because I was bummed that I was going to have to watch this guy.
Uh, not a rock climbing movie with this guy. This fucking guy. Yeah he gets like jerked off into the woods. He does get jerked
off into the woods. He jerks him off into the woods. Yeah and he's there's blood
dripping so you know he's got a boo boo boo. Mm-hmm. And then she's trying to grab the rope or hold the rope or hold the rope or rope. She cuts her rope. the rope. the rope. the rope. the rope. the rope. the rope. the rope. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thro the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope the rope throo th throo throo thro- thro- thro- throo throo throo throo throo thro thro thro throo throo throo throo throo to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th th th th th th th th th th. She th. She th. She tho tho tho to to thoooooooooooooooooooo to the to to the the the thoooooooooooooo to he rope. Because they're pulling her up the hill on her rope.
Right.
As she was demanding Rich do because she couldn't pull herself up.
Right.
She really flings off that wall.
She does.
And is in no way injured?
No.
She's strong like ox.
Until someone jumps down and she gets pulled away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
then we get to the opening credits, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, the the. Then we get to the opening credits, which is just a
montage of things that seem spooky, like dolls or cells under a microscope. It was just like
Yeah, we're getting the stock 90s credits. Yeah, despite it being O3. Yeah, but it was giving me
13 ghosts vibes. Yes. And it's that the disappearing. it's at the disappearing letters like in Sleepy
Hollow. It was just very nice. Terrible film. Oh come now, come with it now. And there's
all these newspaper clippings that say things like Mountain Man Legend and deformities by
in breeding at which point
you're just like, here we go.
Genetic mouthper, br, bur, burr, and it's like, oh yeah, great, great.
That's why we have cells.
Yeah, hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oh, man, come on, and there's a bunch of missing posters as well. Always with the missing posters.
Yeah, I like your dislike of missing posters.
I mean, have you ever seen...
Well, have you ever seen them...
And Moss?
And Moss?
Live Moss?
And Mass?
I've never said that phrase out loud.
Have you ever seen a bunch of them? No, no one has. You only have that for puppies at the thia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, I, I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I, I, I th. Yeah, I the the the the their. Yeah, I. Yeah, I, I, I. Yeah, I, I th. Yeah, I I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I them? No, no one has.
You only have that for puppies at the grocery store.
That was the most porky pig thing you've ever done.
What besides sit around in a shirt and no pants?
Well, no, he always says the thing where he tries saying a word, get it out, and he just changes the word.
Yeah, that's fair. And that you're sitting here in no pants. I mean, th th th th th th th th th th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weird. I mean, Pork you pig in it, baby. Stan Winston Studios did the makeup on this.
That was a note that I have.
Which is crazy because you don't see very much of it.
None of it, yeah.
I felt like I didn't even know how many bad guys there were because they're kind of
indistinguishable because we don't get to spend any real time with them. They have cool names, like three finger, saw tooth, one eye.
Really? I didn't know that?
Well, we don't see them at all.
No, I feel like it's a real miss there.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
Yeah, so then we're in West Virginia.
Great, the guy from Ghost Ship is a note.
I wrote, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, the the the the the the the the th, I th, I th I wrote, oh I had a tiny phone like that and I loved it.
O3 I had a phone that like fit in the literal palm of my hand. So great.
Now we're holding these computers in our hands.
At first I thought this was taking place in Pennsylvania because he has a PA license plate.
And I got kind of mad about it. Okay. Because that, that, this is very similar to the X-Files episode Home which also takes place in Pennsylvania which is also phenomenal. It's phenomenal
and only aired once I think on TV. Yeah yeah yeah it was too scary. It's so good.
So good. Yeah. But I just don't like them doing PA dirty like that.
Sure. Honestly I'm gonna be honest with you I really don't like doing Appalachia dirty like this.
Yeah.
Appalachia.
I agree.
The idea that everybody who lives in Appalachia is just a bunch of inbred hillbilly folks.
Yeah, it doesn't make you a filth person just by living in Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Ohio.
They're filth people, no, scratch that.
How dare you.
In North Carolina, I guess.
Yeah, sure, down to Georgia, up to Maine.
You know, whole Appalachian?
Maine is not Appalachia.
That's where the Appalachian start.
Well, I'm sorry, but it isn't.
Kentucky?
Sure. Yeah. They might be filth people too, I'm not sure.
I don't have enough experience with them, but I know they like horses and that's a little too much for me.
What with their derby? Isn't that? That's the filthy rich people's problem.
Right. I mean, regardless, I just don't love the idea of like deformed redneck bad guys, it's done so often. Sure, yeah it seems by 2003 it seems quite
trite and boring. I guess the director of this movie was like it's my
homage to or maybe the writer was like maybe they're the same person who
knows. I do a movie podcast. He was like this is my homage to the Hills Have
Eyes and it's like you don't fucking say. Oh, that obvious thing? That obvious thing?
That obvious thing that you did.
Okay, okay.
And like when he's talking to the guy outside the gas station, you're just like, why are you
doing this?
You know, I don't know.
Man, the guy's just chugging a bottle of Pep-Bismal. And I was like, you know, that's a thihea, thu, thu, thu, thi, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, that shit, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is just, is. that shit, is. that shit, is. that shit, is. that shit, is. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit. that shit, is a. that shit, is a that shit, is delicious. that shit, is delicious. that shit, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is delicious, is know, that shit is delicious dog. What? I mean, like I recreationally eat tums,
but that's different, because they're berry flavor.
What did you call them?
Your night tea, your night candy?
Bedtime candy?
Bedtime candy.
But he was just like, he's got summer teeth and he's chugging and pepto.
Did you say summer teeth?
Yeah. And I was just like, hey movie, you want to dial it back a little bit.
Just take it back.
He's not even a harbinger.
No, no.
He's just a guy.
Just a guy.
Yeah.
Also, what this movie presupposes is that despite being from Pennsylvania, you would take
your eyes off the road to gaze at a dead deer.
Sir's no, they are fucking everywhere. It's like a mile marker. That guy, the gas station does have my favorite line in the movie though.
What's that?
Because a ghost ship's leaving any kind of condescently is like, all right, you take care
now.
And the guy the gas station goes, you're the one is going to need to take care.
Yeah, I did like that.
And I like that guy being petty. Which reminded me of today on Twitter, Twitter's all the flutter because of Jordan P. Peterson.
Jordan B. Peterson.
The, the, the, the, the, the crazy psycho, psycho, the psycho, the psycho, yeah, he, uh, they sort of
clip from him being a talking head somewhere and it just goes,
Woke, mob, we'll see who, cancels who?
Wait, is it like cut together things from different words?
No.
Oh, it's a dumb thing that he said out of his mouthhole.
What an asshole. So, you're the one is gonna have to take care? Well, he was right. He was right. He was. I was. I. He. He. He was. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's. he, he's. We, he's. We, we. We, we'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We'll. We. We'll. We'll. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he. he. he. he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th.'s going to have to take care.
Well, he was right though.
He was right.
I guess he's a harbinger in that respect.
I guess so.
Fair enough.
So, ghost ship takes his eyes off the road to look at a dead deer now.
And then he runs right into a vehicle that has stopped in the middle of the road.
Yeah. He's driving super fast because he has a job interview in Raleigh.
I think he was saying Raleigh, oh, by the way,
this movie's only available on YouTube,
so there's no subtitles.
So I did a lot of guessing.
A lot of guessing.
A lot of guessing.
And also, I feel like that was a bunch of sequels? There's like seven sequels. Like how the fuck is this not on Amazon to rent? Yeah, no, it's nowhere. You can
watch the trailer on Amazon, that's it. Why? Why would I do that? I don't know?
It's like just warming me up for the movie that I can't rent. I like the before he sees the the deer and he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. I I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I' tre. I' tra. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I'm. I. I'm. I'm. I's. I'm. the. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. the. the hits the car. He's got the he drops his I don't know I'm assuming three doors down CD that falls and he's like scrounging around for and I was
like to just leave it on the floor. Yeah just listen to a different CD. Yeah
What do you do? What do you do? I got a three doors right now dog? Three doors out. What was there? Jumpers? Is that three doors? No. thrown. three words? I. the the three. the three. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Three. their. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. Three. th. Three. Three. th. th. Three. Three. th. Three. th. Three. th. Three. Three. Three. th. th. Three. th. Three. th. th. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. three. th. th. th. th. th. th. ththat three doors down? No, that's third eye blind, but you can be excused for being confused.
Three words, the number three, okay, I'm in.
I don't know, I don't know either.
Do they sound like nickel back?
Who knows?
Yeah.
My next note says, it's me, Eliza Dushku, and I am a beautiful single tough rugged woman. Why does she always have to play like the, the, thia, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus, thus, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I's, I three, I three, I three, I, I, I thu, I thu, I, I thu, I thu, I thu. I thu. I thu. thu. thu. three, three, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooo, thooo, thoooooo, thoooo, thu. Three, thooooo, thu. Three, I'm th have to play like the, I can tune you color up,
but my makeup is also very on point right now.
I have perfect skin, but I can roll around in blood too.
I don't know what I mean by that.
That makes her sounds like she should be in the fast and furious movies.
She should be in the fast and furious movies.
She can replace your most hated. Michelle Roger gets. What's what's, what's,'s her fuck? What is that lady's name? Oh my god this guy in
the sunglasses though? Do you think they put those sunglasses on him to
hide the fact that he's 10 plus years younger than the rest of the cast? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. He's a teenager. I mean literally he's a teenager and they're
all almost 30. And that almost 30 year old lady blows him. Yeah. Yep. So immediately,
there's the, uh, Jeremy Sisto's car has been disabled by barbed wire with razor blades wrapped
in it. You don't have to do that. One is enough.
Yeah, you gotta double up, though.
I guess I can save all the time in the world.
Yeah, mm-hmm.
And so Jeremy Sisto and Carly and Eliza Dushkew and GoShip have to go for a walk to find something.
Yeah, help, question mark.
There's gotta be a town.
They leave behind Francine.
Why is that lady's name, Francine?
And Evan.
And Evan, the child.
And she immediately goes down and you're like not even out of earshot yet.
They're doing some like foreplay talk that I just couldn't make any sense of at all.
I rewilded a couple times.
I was like, I don't know what you're saying.
Can you give me the gist of what you think it might be?
Um, no.
I thought he was saying something about like power bars?
He was that before or after that she was eating and she said she doesn't know where it is.
Was that before or after this?
It was pre? No, it was post BJ.
Post BJ was the power bar.
I don't know, I don't know then.
I have no idea what they're talking about.
I do like the idea of like, hey, have you seen my food?
No. No, nope. wrinkling the wrapper. So we're cutting between them and the four of them,
the other four going to look for help.
Jeremy Sisto was wearing this gigantic sunflower necklace
and I have no idea why.
Is he supposed to be a cult leader?
He knows a lot about cult.
He does talking about them later.
Yeah. I don't know. But he's also talking about his wedding to Carly. He does not want a foe James Brown because
there's no one like James Brown and a foe James Brown is really quite intolerable. That's
a line in this movie. What I like is that he and Carly have all the chemistry of two people
who have never met that are waiting in line of the subway. Absolutely. They're both like,
well you're attractive but it's just not there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I I I I I I the the the the the the the the they. I I they. I their their their their their th. I th. I th. I'm just th. I'm th. I'm their their th. I'm just their their th. I'm their their their their their their their their their their their. their. there. there. there. there. there. there. there. their. their. I's their. I's their. I's their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I's th. I's the. I's the. I's the. I's the. I'm thoooo. the. the. the. their their thoooe. their their their their, but it's just not there. Yeah. Yeah.
And, uh, I'm just going to put this out there now.
I think Eliza Dushkoo is a fucking terrible actor.
You love her, though.
I do, but she's also terrible.
I think she just has one setting.
Yeah. And it's like, uh, you know, just being like... We've often said that people are showing you how far pretty can get you?
She's really fucking pretty.
Yeah. She's beautiful.
That's how she got this far.
Yeah.
And seemingly no farther, because when was the last time you heard anything from Eliza Dushke?
She was on some CBS show that she got fired from for speaking out about being sexually harassed.
Oh. That's the last I heard of Eliza Dushkoo, but I think she got like a $9 million settlement or something.
Oh, good on her. So she probably just doesn't have to.
Yeah, who needs to work? Yeah, who want to pay me not to work.
Hey, did anybody say they would make me bacon? I sort of remember asking for that.
No, they're...
Fuck you!
No, bacon takers as of yet.
That's dick.
You don't, you don't really want them bringing your bacon.
No, I just want someone to make me bacon.
I'm excited because we did get a message from, let me get their name, right?
Hell raising hot sauce, they're sending us hot sauce.
What's their favorite thus?
What's their favorite hot sauce?
What's their favorite?
What's the same?
What's your favorite?
?
What's your favorite?
Same?
Yeah, yeah. I have this Old Bay hot sauce that
I really like. You fucking love Old Bay. Slides? You know, the slip on bath shoe, flip flop?
And I was like, I'm with it now. I was like, Missy, it's $42 too much? Yes, yes, it is.
Yes, yes, it is.
Especially when you have those great crocks.
It's true.
And an assortment of flip-flops and other slip-on shoes.
Yeah, man of leisure.
You love a comfortable foot.
Goddame, I do.
Here are the too. She is. Anyway, at one
point we cut back to Francine and she's calling sunglasses guy. Yeah. And he's not answering.
So she gets out of the car and finds his severed ear with those two cartilage piercings in it,
which is so fucking 2003. I can't stand it. I think I also had two cartilage piercings in 2003.
Ooh. Yeah, big time. Oh man, I'm two years away from getting my ears pierced. What?
You know when I turn 50 I'm getting my ears pierced, remember? Oh that's right. You're gonna do the
Barry Bonds tanglaring earrings. Or a slash lost boys. Yeah. Bury bonds. Baseballman. You get that every time. And then Francine gets a by her mouth garating.
Yeah.
That's a garotten way to tie.
Wow, you are just on dad mode tonight.
I refer to Jeremy Sistow and Carly only as baby and baby in my notes.
Because he's all baby baby, baby.
Baby. Baby. Not my thing, man.
If somebody called me baby that much, I'd be like, yeah, no, we're not doing this anymore.
I'm actually a 38 year old woman.
Call me boo.
And then he, when they see the house, he goes, can I get a whoop?
Because it's 2003, and it's so fucking embarrassing. And I'm embarrassed for him because I thi's better tho, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, the th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, yeah, thi, yeah, thi, thi, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, thi, thi, th, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th? Because it's 2003, and it's so fucking embarrassing.
And I'm embarrassed for him because I think he's better than that.
You gave him the woop droat, didn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah, like it's just like, I would just like, here it is.
Yeah.
Here's a whoopoo.
All of a sudden I'm wearing like a shiny baggy suit. Yeah. He's supposed to be th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's the. He's to to to thi. to to to to to thi. to the. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. He's th. He's to be this like weird intellectual wearing a sunflower necklace, but everyone was
listening to Jay-Z in 2003, so yeah.
And then there's, I don't know if my sound was just messed up, but one of them, I think
Eliza Dushkoo says to ghost ship, she's like, hey, and he goes, what?
And no one says anything else.
What? At least she farted. Is this when they find the moon tower?
No, this is when they go to the house and they go in for the first time.
And baby has to pee.
And there's a deliverance reference because of course.
Yes. It's West Virginia.
And everyone, there's a backwoods filth person.
And baby needs to go inside to use the the. Yeah. It's like, fuck you pee in the grass.
Yeah.
Unless you have to shit.
And then shit in the grass.
Then shit in the grass.
The fucking woods, lady?
Yeah.
Who gives a shit?
I've never shit outside, though.
I mean, either. I would hold it for days. I've always dreamed of hiking the Appalachian Trail.
And then I'm like, yeah, but there's got to be bathrooms, right?
If there's not bathrooms, I'm not doing it.
I think there's enough places to stop that you could shit most of the time.
You're going to wake up in the morning and just be like, ooh. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, I gotta dig a hole.
Things are going to be weird.
Or just pee poop, poop, poop on the ground.
Forget it.
Just wear diapers.
Jeremy Sistow is yelling around about something he read in Newsweek, which really should have
been I read in the Atlantic, but that's a miss on their part. Maybe that's just saying he's like a low rent.
Ritsy dude.
I read it in Reader's Digest.
Condensed version?
Yeah, the big font.
So they find like a fridge full of jars
that have like body bits in them or something.
Just junk.
It looks like pig knuckles, honestly. Stuff that people actually eat. Yeah, yeah, but like, but like, I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I read, th. I read, th. I read it th. I read it th. I read it th. I read thread in read thread in read thread in read in read thread in red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red red th. I read th. I read th. I read th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. junk. It looks like pig knuckles, honestly.
Stuff that people actually eat.
Yeah, yeah, but like...
But brown.
Yeah.
And oh, what do you know?
There's a music box.
And a pile of sunglasses.
Yeah.
Why don't they wear those sunglasses?
Oh, one eye doesn't them?
Well, he's got one.
I didn't even notice that one of them only had one eye.
See, that sucks, because I like to see stuff like that.
I like to see one eye.
Yeah, I like to see monster design.
Yeah, no, they did not give it to you.
No.
And then there's like, someone says it's a garage sale from hell.
Yeah. I I I I I I I I I I I that's a garage sale from hell. Yeah, I think that's a go ship, yeah. And then
babies in the bathroom and the toilet's disgusting because backwards filth
people. Yeah. And there's a hand in the bathtub. Yeah. And she... her reaction is, oh no! Oh no!
But it's like, oh I'm not doing this. Yeah. It's not like, oh God. She never does get to go to the bathroom, does she?
She dies full of pee.
Yeah.
As she wanted to.
She died doing what she loved.
Holding her piss.
Holding her piss.
And then she runs out and yells to Eliza, Dixie.
Yeah.
Who is her name Dixie. So then I refer to her only in my note as Dixie.
Well, she is, you know, a whole time's not forgotten.
Look away.
Um, the...
It's so dumb.
So as they're going to leave the house, they see like a caravan of old vehicles rolling up the driveway.
Yeah. The tow truck that we saw earlier and then now it's towing Sistos
truck. Right. And they come they come in with Francine. Yeah and start hacking her
apart. Which then we see her again and she's fully intact. Uh-huh. Yeah. They put it back together. Okay-dok. That's their day fun. I mean he is taken tak. tick took took he th he th he he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi is tha tha tha tha tha tha their their their their the thoing thoing thoing thoing th their th th th their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their to to toe toe toe towe towe towe towe towe towe. towing towing towing towing towing towe. towe. Uh-huh, yeah, they put it back together.
Ok-doke.
That's their, that's their day fun.
I mean, he is taking a little napper after that.
So I guess, you know, that's a lot of work, hacking somebody up and then putting them
back together.
It's like a rainy day-da-in-a-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-day-d. They're just, it's so much, it's so much and so little all the same time.
So much and so little all the same time.
So they are all hiding in the house while he falls asleep.
Yeah.
And then they try to sneak out.
Hot idea.
Just fucking murder this guy in his sleep.
Sure, yeah, go to grop.
Fuco.
Yeah.
You could at least take one tthem out and that's one less person that's gonna chase you around yeah fun fact about me yeah I'd
have a jar full of teeth someone gave me a jar full of dentures I would keep it
at one point there's a show a jarful of dentures I'm just I'm formulating a question
I was like hell yeah I'd have that in my house where is the jarful of teeth like currently yeah? Yeah. If I had one? Oh, I thought you said
I have one. I would have one. If someone gave me one, I would be into it. Okay. Well, when
Lucy starts losing hers, I'll keep them for you. No, I need like full sets of dentures.
So if you want to start stealing dentures and mailing them to me, I'll start keeping
a jar. I like how I offered you a gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift to to to the gift gift the gift gift to to to the gift to the gift to the gift the gift the gift the gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift a gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift gift my child's teeth. It'd be weird if I took your kids teeth. What have you left her a dollar? Although apparently that shit's gone up to five dollars.
Shut up. Shut the front door. Your cousins get five dollars and it's like I can't just give
her one. Inflation. When did it become a dollar? It was a dollar when I was a child. Wow. Usually in change though. Come on fucking tofairy. I didn't. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to toee. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. Usually in change though. Yeah. Come on, fucking tooth fairy.
I didn't have to go work in the mine that day.
Oh my God.
No, it was 25 cents.
Yeah, well you could buy some penny whistles and dime candy.
I remember there was a rich kid in my neighborhood
got a 50 cent piece for every tooth they lost.
And I was like, look at you! He's a he. Can I have more? No! So, they are sneaking out the door.
Oh God, poorly.
Ghost Ship is holding on to the spring on the door,
like on to keep it from creaking,
and he's looking like it's the most painful thing in the world.
Oh, you got a little pinchy, relax.
Everybody gets pinched in a screen door every now and then.
He looks like he put his dick in the spring. He goes, oh, oh, uh, letting it dig right in there.
It's like, I need to got Tommy John surgery. My shoulders really bothered me.
Yeah, it's elbow surgery.
No, it's elbow. Nice try though. Sorry. You got Barry Bonds. I can't ask for too much. So they're running, baby falls down, get the fuck up, baby.
And they run up to this clearing of cars, abandoned cars.
Yeah, which we have seen also 1,000 times in berries.
And they don't just keep running, they stop.
What's this now? If they had just kept running, they probably would have gotten away.
Sure, it's not like these guys are fast.
Focking ding-dongs.
Don't linger.
These people with all their genetic mutations
and chromosomal anomalies, whatever the fuck,
they were forcing on us to the beginning?
Are they all men? Yeah, they keep mom on a rolly thing under the bed.
I do love that episode of the X-I'd damn it. That's also got baseball in it too. That's right.
Yeah. Kids playing baseball and then they'd find a baby under home plate. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and it had they, oh, they breathed in the dirt. Oh, why come they could only they they they they they they they they they they they they've they've they've got they've they've got they've they've they've got baseball. they've they've got baseball. they've they've they've got baseball. that baseball. that baseball. Oh, it they've that baseball that baseball that baseball that baseball they've got baseball that baseball that baseball that baseball that baseball they've they've they've they've they've they've b baseball they've b baseball they've b baseball baseball baseball they've b baseball baseball baseball they've b baseball baseball baseball they've b. It b. Oh, it breathed. Oh, it breathed. Oh, oh, oh, oh, it breathed it breathed it breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It breathed. It's breathed. It's breathed. It's breathed, it breathed, it's breathed, it's they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've they've breathed that episode once on the TV? Great question.
Another great question is Eliza Jushkoo says, how do they get away with this? And I was
like, great fucking question. How? She just grabbed that string on that sweater and started
pulling and pulling. And the movie fell apart around her.
Ugh.
So the bad guys come up to the clearing, the car clearing.
Yeah.
And they decide to run and scream, the menfolk.
Yeah, to throw them off the path of everybody, of the lady folks, because they have
to be chivalrous at this point.
Because they left the truck running.
Yes. Yeah, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, the, th, th, point. Because they left the truck running. Yes. Yeah, it's like
they decide this plan and Eliza Dushkoo or someone is like, who goes? And ghost ship is like, me? It just takes off running. Yeah. If the question is who goes, I would never say a fucking word.
I would never speak again. Well, I didn't want to talk before any of you. I wanted to let one of you volunteer volunteer the the the their their their their their to volunteer to volunteer their their to volunteer. their their their to their their their to their to to to to their to to to to to to to to be to be toe. to say. toea. toe. toogeau. toogeau. tooom. tooombs. tooes. tooes. tooes. toe. toe. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. to go. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. t. I'm. t. I see what happened here. I wanted to let one of you volunteer because I know you pride yourselves on being brave.
And like of course he gets fucking shot.
Of course he does. This is like, why don't in these movies, these very stupid movies, anyone
acknowledge that these people have ranged weapons? Hmm? It's so dumb. And that they probably shoot things to eat and are probably very good with same-sad-ranged
weapons.
They're not going to the Kroger, are they?
No, they are not.
Yeah.
Yeah, he gets shot and then Cisco's, or yes, Cisco shows up.
Ooh, that dress of scandalous.
Oh, that dress of scandalous.
You're shaking that of what the time.
You're still doing spring break.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Maybe he's not dying his hair silver anymore at this point.
I bet he still does.
Oh yeah, else is going to get recognized.
Cisco.
Bong the bong the banda.
It's like every morning Nelly just unraps a bandaid.
Let's th do this. That was just till his brother got out of jail. And I think he's out.
Oh, was that?
Yeah.
I thought you said that was just how his brother got into jail?
And his brother was like, I've got a cut on my face.
I have to go home from jail now.
And they're like, oh, sir, please. So because ghost ship gets shot, Jeremy Sisto runs out too.
Yes.
And they make it, somehow the guy who gets shot in the leg makes it to the truck.
Well, it's because the ladies run over and grab him.
He's like a med student or something.
Or medical school graduate?
Either that or like pill salesman?
I couldn't quite nail him down.
Because they, well, he says in med school they make you work on animals before cadaver.
So I assume he's a doctor.
Yeah.
It's got like some drug information book in his car that they're flipping through when
What's her face was eating the power bar earlier Francine?
Right, right.
But do you love the lady's like, fine, we'll drag him.
Yeah, god damn it.
And also, surprising to no one,
Dushku and Ghost Ship have a little love thing going already.
Well, she's the single lady.
Would you find out about later?
Yeah.
And he's the hunky, hunky Caesar cut man.
Ah, it's not doing it for me.
No.
Just too fucking pretty. Yeah. You're Jeremy Sisto every. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Yeah. Yeah. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. the like, I don't want to watch this movie anymore if Jeremy's sister is out.
It goes out like fucking Boremear.
And then baby is crying and she's just going,
eh ha ha ha ha.
When she's briefly, like the director was like, I don't know, laugh like you've gone
and said, now don't do that anymore.
There's like a brief pre where she's like, ha ha ha ha ha!
And then she's just like, never mind, I'm saying it, it's fine.
Yeah, no, fuck it.
So this is where they find the moon tower.
Then they go up into like the watchtower that's up there that has that has that has that has the moon tower and they go up into like the the watchtower that's up there that has a log cabin on top because you know it's wild
they're sitting there because a bear trap has gone off yeah and almost caught
ghost ship's leg yes which at the bear trap and then you could see it like
runs up the tree like it wouldthere and baby goes, look at that, guys.
And there's this enormous looming watchtower,
30 feet in the air.
Like, how did you not fucking all see that?
What I love is that you mustered so much more emotion
than she put into that line reading.
Thank you.
Hey guys, like, yeah.
I'm not real professional.
Also at this point, YouTube started recommending me watching someone's wedding reception video.
Oh.
I don't know why.
It kept popping up in the top right of the screen and it was like, watch so and so and so,
so and so's wedding reception video.
And I thought, why the fuck what I want to do that?
What have I been doing here that?
That makes you think I'm interested in this? Like, how is that related? I don't know. So weird. Where were you watching?
I got what you were watching on your phone?
On my laptop.
Okay.
So I can, you know, on the big screen.
Okay.
Yeah.
I had a cast YouTube to my TV.
I can never get that to work, right?
It's always a little laggy.
Yeah.
Yeah, then you don't get any pop-ups, which is nice. Yeah, they're not like, hey, the latest episode of Hot Ones is up, or that show that you
watch hosted by Fat Mike from No Effects.
Really? What's that?
It's Fat Mike's Fat Mike.
What is that?
He just interviews people.
No, I bet he's pretty good.
Yeah, and he's also funny so
sometimes I watch Fat Mike. You like No Effects when you were young, a young man?
Do I like No effects at 48? Yes that's, yeah, yeah. They're good. Yeah, hold up.
Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Any who. Did you watch the wedding reception? No, I didn't get to it.
Probably want to get home.
You like watching movies about you with genetic mutations.
Check out this wedding reception.
Unbelievable.
Do you like it when Carly finds the glow sticks and she's like, hey,
hey, and bangs one away.
Like, yes, you should all definitely climb up there and get trapped, right?
They look out over the vast woods of West Virginia, which is probably Vancouver.
Wild and wonderful.
And they're like, wow, there's really nothing out here.
Yeah, Dum Dum Dumps? Where did you think you were?
Yeah, where were you go? Where were they going?
I don't know.
At this point, baby says, we are all going to die. And I just thought like, nah, one of you's
going to live. Probably Eliza Dushkoo.
So they find a radio. And they're trying to radio for help. And unless the duchess who's going, oh, hey, yeah. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. the. the. the. thoooooooooooooooooo. the. thooooo. th. th. thoooo. th. th. th look at us. I'm up in a fucking tree or something, eh?
They're like, the person on the other end of the radio is like, give us your location.
They're like, we are fucking now.
And it's like, what do you want them to do then?
Describe it.
Dang the there.
There's some tre? Man, this
leads to the, what I like to think of is the interminable scenes in the tree
tops. Okay, yeah, this goes on a while. There's so much of these dickheads just walking around on tree branches. Right, because they block the trap door so that the bad guys can't get in.
Right.
And then the bad guy somehow pool and break the radio, which I didn't understand how that
happened at all.
Who knows?
Yeah.
I guess the cord was plugged in outside of the tree house.
What?
And then the bad guy set it on fire. Of course you fucking would. Also, they have torches.
Did you not see those torches coming and think,
wow, we're in a large wooden structure,
we're trapped 30 feet in the air?
Uh-huh.
Mm-hmm.
Because the cameraman made sure to show you those torches
as they were walking up.
Yeah. into the trees and I'm wondering like would you really jump like a belly flop
like that? They all do it. No. No. I think we decided once on the show that if
you're gonna jump from a great height you should try to land on your hip.
Yeah yeah try to absorb it. But I decided I would go my butt because that's
where all my meat is. I don't just bounce.
Yeah, I mean I don't know how I would jump onto a tree branch. I'd probably try to go
arms first, probably try to get the arms around it. Okay, which is a bit of a belly flop, isn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's what they were doing. Yeah. And then someone axes Carly a question.
Oh my God, why are you doing this to me?
Yeah.
I'll show you the note where they say they axe Carly a question.
Your font on your phone is very large.
Oh, I made it bigger so you could see it.
Oh, thank you. I thought you were just losing your eyesight.
Yeah, she takes an axe to the mouth. To the fucking mouth. It was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. tho. tho. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thoooome. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo takes an axe to the mouth. To the fucking mouth it was great.
Yeah. And then the rest of her body, like the camera sort of spins, not even spins, but I guess
rotates downwards so you can see her from above and the rest of her body falls down the tree. And I thought that was pretty
good. It was nice. They were like Stan Winston, here. Take a little bit. thin. We're not going to show what what what what what the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. the thin. thin. th. the th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. the the the the the camera. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. The camera. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. t. the. the. the. the. the. t. thing, thing. Yeah. We're not going to show what you did to these genetic mutation man's. And also this scene is so dark. I don't know if that
was YouTube or my computer or what, but it was very hard to see what was going on.
For sure. I hate that. Yeah. I understand it's nighttime, but I also need to
like look at it. Just make it blue for night and let me see everything. th agree th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. theateateateate. the theateateateateate. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. I the. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to toeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. the would be so mean about that. And then
ghost ship knocks a fucker out of a tree. Yeah after they get arrows shot at
them again and it's like why ranged weapons. Ranged weapons. And someone's like they
can't get us up here can't they? Wunk? Yeah. And then when the guy falls out of
the tree the other murder men are like, no, so sad.
Did he die?
Yeah, I think so.
Okay.
I couldn't tell if he was the giggler.
No, he did not die because he comes running back after them later, because they are impervious
to death, I think.
I think, because they keep getting really fucked up and then just walking around later. So, uh, Dushko and Ghost Ship hide behind a waterfall?
Yeah.
And then sleep behind Sam said waterfall?
She tells the story about my boyfriend dumped me and I'm really, really hurt.
And they brought me here because they were good friends like that and it's all my fault.
And he's like, it's not your fault.
It really is.
It's really your fault.
And then he's like, oh no, you want to make out or something?
Do you think they make out? Do they make out? No. Okay, good.
But that's the vibe they're giving off. Yeah.
Well, they're both so attractive. This true, beautiful people can't help them, I guess.
They wake up. The monster men have gotten them, I guess. It's like a lot of the action takes place in such a chaotic way, too, that it's really
hard to tell what's happening.
Yeah.
Like this bit where they grab her from behind and he kind of gets thrown forward.
It's like very hard to tell who's actually there and what's actually happening.
Yeah, and because they refused to show you the murderments. They couldn't have looked that bad. They couldn't have. No. No.
So he they climbed down a hill find a road and then a cop shows up? Yes. Go ship does. Yes. Dixie has been taken. Dixie has been taken. Yeah. Which sounds like the worst action movie? Dixie has been taken. It's probably on a DVD somewhere in my house. I had to guess.
Pickets charged up and ready to fight. Um, so. Yeah, so the cop shows up and he's like, tarnation, what's going a pal? Yeah, he says dead what people and takes an arrow through the eye, which I liked. Sure. And then actually
we do get kind of a good look at one of the bad guys here but we only see him
from behind and I couldn't tell if he was meant to have a hump or if he was
just wearing like a little backpack under his shirt. Oh yeah, yeah, it looks really really that's really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's really that's really th. that's really th. that's really th. that's really. Also, they have killed everyone else on site immediately.
Right. Why do they keep Eliza Dushkoo alive? Beautiful? Oh wait, no, they killed all the other beautiful people.
Yeah. Baby. Also beautiful. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know why they do anything.
They steal the cop car and Ghost Ship hangs on to the bottom of it to get our lift back to the house. I don't know. I don't know why they do anything.
They steal the cop car and ghost ship hangs on to the bottom of it to get a lift back
to the house.
Good thing there was no rough terrain.
I was going to say, your own back roads, motherfucker.
At first I thought he was just like, I'll just hold on this and slide along
with the card.
And it's like, you're doing?
So du I I I I the their th. th.. I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thus. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thi. toa'a'a'a'a'a' toa' toa' toa' toa' toa' toa' toa' to goa' toa' toe. toe. to goa' toe. to goa. to goa. tha. tha. tha'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'er. tha'er. G. G. G. tha'er. tho'era'era'era'er. G. tho'era'era'a'era'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'ea' What are you doing? Oh, so Dushka was bound and gagged.
Yeah, with barbed wire again, I think.
Or at least around her wrists, maybe.
I don't know who cares.
Who cares?
Oh, indeed.
And then he just drives that whole damn police car in there.
Just bust through the wall.
So funny.
He didn't have the lights on. which I thought was a real missed opportunity.
I would have the lights on.
Safety first.
Just for fun, these.
Just for the power trip of it.
Also, when did he have time to make Molotov cocktails?
Huh?
What?
They come natural with a car.
their car's got them. You think they just come with cop cars maybe. It's in their riot kit.
That's why in TV shows, cop cars always explode when they roll off of things.
Filled with maltof cocktails.
With maltose cocktails.
Got it.
Oh man.
So, Dushku is now shooting people with bows and arrows.
She really just fired that arrow into the back of his head.
Who knew she was good at archery? While a ghost ship is fighting one of the bad guys
with a who has an axe, and he's being wildly inaccurate with it.
You'd think he'd be better?
This is where I had the note,
new murder man enters the fight,
some guy shows up, I've never seen before.
That's why I got confused. Are there's four? Because we only the the the their their their their their their th................... It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. I's thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's is just just. I's. I's.. I's................................................................................................................................................... see three at a time. You one actor's played two different characters. Maybe, I don't know.
Stupid. Do Sco to the Rescue to the Rescue. Go ship to the rescue. And then it's like
get out of this burning wooden building, you fucking dummies. But none of them are dead. Despite having horrific injuries. They're all the monster men men. the the the they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're Despite having horrific injuries, they're all the monster men are like,
I'm fine.
Just leave me here.
So they drive away to the gas station.
No, first they take four steps out of the building
and then use the final shot to shoot the gas tank
of the police vehicle, which is like,
could have probably gotten a little further away before you did that. And they seem surprised that they are blown to the ground by doing that.
You have a shotgun, the range on that is pretty far.
Ah, I don't know.
How far?
How far?
How far?
I mean, you have a shotgun, just shoot them.
He said he only had one shot left.
Oh, make it to blow up the gas tank while standing next to it. So they drive the tow truck
now to the gas station right where the pepto man is. He like closes the doors and
locks up I guess avoiding these people. Yeah because you think it's a
murder men coming. Yeah why would they fuck with him? I probably fuck with everybody. They they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took. took probably fuck with everybody. They seem like jerks.
Then why isn't anybody reporting the fact that all these people went missing in there, these jerks up there?
Leaves me to the duchkoo query. How are they getting away with us?
Away with this. Guess he's not getting that job in Raleigh.
No. But Goship Justice steals the map that's on the wall. Question, yeah. I know she's driving why she make him get out of the car. She's way less injured than he is. And she still looks
gorgeous. Her makeup is on point not a stitch of dirt on her like white
German tank top that she's wearing. Yeah, got a tiny German military emblem.
Is that what that was? I thought it was from like Warhammer or something. Battle tech. I mean, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I th. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi, I thi was from like Warhammer or something, Battletech, I don't know. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.
And they drive away, and that's the end of this fucking movie.
It's like now we get to ask, what are these two people ever going to talk about?
Are they together now?
Oh yeah, they got married.
Yeah, Pept was watching this.
I shouldn't have to fuck off as soon as they drive away.
No, there's an intracredit sequence where,
because it's just after the first few credits, where a search and rescue guy rolls
to the burned out house, which like one, you don't do search and rescue by yourself. Like, that's just not how it works. Oh, search and rescue Jim? Yeah, he goes in his own. Old Jimbo.
And he is moving stuff around.
I think he finds a severed,
it's very hard to tell what he's looking at,
because again, it's dark.
But I think he finds that like a severed neck.
I don't know whose neck it is. Like, where the where the where the where the where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where th is where the where th is where thi. thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where is where is where is where thi. thi. thi. thi is where thi. thi is where is where is where is where is where is where is where is where is where th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi is where th. thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where thi is where the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee the thee the the thi is thi is thi is thi is should be. Okay, it was, I was like, how could you identify it if it's just a neck?
Well, that's all I saw, frankly.
And then something, a shadow passes behind him.
And there's one last scary shot of the guy who does the giggling.
Okay.
Um, and he's all burned up now.
And then new metal kicks in.
That's the end of the movie. Don, dongongongongong. Do, d-dong. It th. It th. It th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, th. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh, the. Oh, the. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh, that. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the movie. Dong, di-dong, d'i-dong-dickie-do.
It's like Bah, what to ba?
Mm-hmm.
RIP.
Not on this show.
Then, after the movie ended,
I scrolled through the comments on YouTube.
Uh-oh.
Overwhelmingly positive.
I thought, did I miss something? People were like, this is my favorite movie. This movie is a treasure.
Everyone's, it's so well acted.
The actors had so much chemistry and I was like,
is this, this is YouTube?
No one's just calling them slurs for being Jewish?
Because that's what you see everywhere.
Yeah. Was it all like, E. Dushko,
Probably. People are like, the first the of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of of thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the first the first thi. thi. the first thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It is, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. the the their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. People are like the first two of these movies are so
fucking great. Iconic. It's like they're so brutal and great and you feel for
the characters and I was like what characters? I gotta say. Yeah. This is a
poop shoot. Wow. I don't think we've ever had a film that is a straight of poop shoot before.
It's not, certainly not the worst thing we've ever seen.
No, not by a long shot.
It has fine actors doing bad dialogue.
Yeah, I mean I watched the whole thing.
That's something.
Yeah, there's good, yeah.
Why don't you rate it?
Why don't you?
Uh, three.
Yeah. I was like, th this is why I've never watched
this franchise. It's very bland. It was everything I knew it would be and so much more.
Yeah. I think I just can't, I feel like if I had seen this movie in 2003, it would have really
scared me, but I just can't get behind a like running away from bad guys for an entire movie, mov any more. Yeah. I mean, I just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a film like your next really ruined that.
Yeah. Or she's like, actually, I'm gonna fucking hold my ground and murderize all of you.
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And that's so much more rewarding. Right. Or ready or not or any of these films, yeah.
Katie. Alan. We have a voicemail. Ooh. Oh,ail line and I'm gonna hand you this so you
can read along as I play this voicemail. Okay thank you. Hi Katie, hi Alan. I should
probably be a little bit more responsible and maybe have called you when I wasn't, let's say toasty, but here we are.
But anyways, I just wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of the
content you guys have made across all the years you've been doing this.
And while I'm still a fairly like recent fan, like I've been following for about two years,
I still feel like I've known you guys forever.
So thank you from the bottom my heart. I know the rest of the community community community community community community community community thiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, th, th, let, let, th, th, th, th, let, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, th, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. tho. tho. thank you from the bottom of my heart. I know the rest of the community also shared the same sentiment.
And keep doing what you're doing.
And hopefully, things just keep getting bigger and better.
Also, I'm so sorry if you can hear the pitterpatter my kids in the background.
They're currently playing and destroying everything.
But anyways, this is going on way too long. I love you th you th th th day. Why are you drunk watching your kids, Bukaru?
That voicemail is a fucking journey. It takes you from point A to point B. There is a wrong turn in there though.
There's a shy a mollum twist that happens. They're destroying everything because you're not watching them.
No, I hear you. I'm often drunk around my child.
It's so much funnier.
Also, we love you too. Thank you for your kind words.
Yeah.
Oh. Everyone's so nice.
Everyone is so nice.
I do like this trend of drunk phone calls that we've been getting.
Please drunk call us. I love it.
412, 407, 7025. You're with numbers. I love a number. Who doesn't?
They're easy to eat. Katie. Alan. What are we doing next week? Next week we were going to do
the Paris Hilton Rock Opera and I know a lot of you got really excited about it but I balked at
the last minute. Yeah. But then Alan told me about how excited everybody was, so we're going to do it week after next. I promise.
I got the best text message from Katie, which was, yeah, I don't know if I want to do that
right now.
Why don't you pick an Italian horror movie?
I said that.
I did.
And Alan shrieked with glee, I heard it three neighborhoods over.
And I said Katie, I've got the perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect perfect the got the perfect movie for us. What is it?
I want to introduce you to my favorite child character of all time.
Fucking Bob.
In House by the Cemetery, by one, Lucio Fulchie.
Oh, Lucio.
Please go to T-Public slash where will famulets and pick up the close enough Lucio t-shirt
that Justin Gray designed. Speaking of t-shirts, we got this message from
Governor Little Taco Boy. Hi Governor Little Taco Boy! Oh, it's Governor
Little Taco Boy's kiddo wearing the General Ska Hospital shirt and I love it. Oh, that's a cute baby.
It is a cute baby. That's a cute fucking. I sure hope no one at daycare asks me to explain this shirt.
And you have Patreon. Whereofambulance at Patreon.com.
It's not our email address. Whereofabias at Gmail.com. Patreon.com. You got it. T. Public. Search for Wereolfambulance. It's not our email. It's. I don't know. Find us on the internet. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. th. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I th.com. Patreon.com back slash, wear-off ambulance. You got it.
Tea, public, search for whereolf ambulance.
Yeah, I don't know, find us on the internet.
You've got Google.
Join us on the subredddit.
It's fun over there.
Yeah, it is.
Every once in a while I respond to something over there.
It's always shocks me when I see you respond. And thanks for listening to another episode of WhereWoath Ambulance. Bye-bye.
Empty.
Clear. The maniacs are dead rules, civeties tie-examined in the pool.
No way to do it, let's keep it fulfilled reviews.
Kill a glass and let the face.
King in every space.
A few times are cast in case.
Please make I continue to break.
EFT. A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen King.
E.T. We live deliciously, bad temperatures of bees, crazy gone today.
A paranormal act continues from Mr. Rogers to the city.
EFT, EM2.