Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 416- A Chinese Ghost Story (1987)

Episode Date: February 13, 2023

In this week's episode, we're discussing the 1987 supernatural (?) educational (??) erotic (???) film "A Chinese Ghost Story." Normally I'd write some jokes here and compare it to other movies we've covered, but frankly the Super Bowl made me get too tore up to do all that. Totally not my fault obviously. You'll like this movie though, it's pretty goddamn fantastic. Support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance where you can hear us discuss an action movie each month. There are a solid 2.5 years worth of episodes there just waiting for you! Buy merch for yourself or those you love at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. [e-mail] If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Alan, Katie. Could you please do me favor? Uh, open your phone there. Open your text messages. Okay, okay. Find our conversation. Okay. Find our conversation. Okay. Now you sent me that my SPAC order was ready? Uh-huh, no, no, that's not me. It was not you.

That's SPAC Brothers Pizza, Penn Avenue here in Pittsburgh. Mmm, delicious. Is it the one that starts with dude? Dude, yes, the one that starts with dude. I'd like you to describe for our audience the photo to which I have attached this text message. So there's the is is isthen there's an attached photo that I assume is a phone capturing of a screen of a television set. I walked up to my TV and I took this photo.

Of searching for this week's movie, a Chinese ghost story. And Amazon suggested to Katie, did you mean a Chinese erotic story? And can you describe for them the image that accompanies the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti toda tie ti tie tie touche touche touche touch photo photo photo photo photo photo photo photo photo photo photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo touch photo t. I I I I I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I t. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti. I ti.c. Ia. ti. ti. ti. today. today. today. today.c. today. today.c. today. today te. t Katie. Did you mean a Chinese erotic ghost story? And can you describe for them the image that accompanies the title Chinese erotic ghost story? Well it's a dead-eyed woman. Dead-eyed! She's so dead-eyed! With her tits out. Tits to the win. Here's what I have to say about this Amazon. Oh did you see next to her? There's Here's what I have to say about this Amazon. Oh did you see next to her there's also another woman who's breasts? Are they scissering? That's erotic ghost toury three? Are they scissoring? I don't know. Has anyone ever? I don't know. Here's the thing. I share this account

with my child with my child. Most of my searches are for horror movies? Yeah. Episodes of Daniel Tiger. How did Amazon think it was okay to just put these tits up there like that? I mean I'm not complaining, they're tits. You like horror movies? You've had a kid so you like to have had sex at least once. You got raw dogs. We all know that someone blew a load inside of you and it made a person. It made a person when that What? It's true. I'm sorry this makes you uncomfortable, but this is how humans reproduce. Humans have never reproduced from a load being blown. What? A polite ejaculation happens. And with a little slight smattering of applause afterwards. And a baby gets made.

Jolly good. Jolly good. Dude. And you followed that up with NSFW. Yeah, I sent it to you and then I was like, is that mean? Is that like sending an unsolicited dick pick? And then I was like, hmm, NSFW. You send me the dude and then no picture came through for a while, so I sent you back,

was it? Dude, and then no picture came through for a while, so I sent you back, was that? Yeah, I didn't know, because I got that after I sent you the picture. I didn't know if you had then just, you were like, yes, tits, what? No, because then I responded with, holy smokes. Then I asked, should we do that one instead? No, because she's dead inside. What are we talking about? Well? What? th. What are we talking about? Well, this week we are doing the 1987 film, A Chinese Ghost Story.

Which I have to say, you told me it would be less erotic than Chinese erotic ghost story. Yeah. It's pretty fucking erotic. Sorry? Sir? Did we watch the same movie? The movie opens with this real like sensual scene with silks blowing around in the wind like that scene in that Susan Sarandon movie where nobody gets to sleep and she can't say progeria the hunger the hunger progeria progeria nobody corrected her it pains me this movie is 16 plus because of violence and sexy stuff but it's like chased sexy stuff but it's like

chased sexy stuff it's not like you're seeing dongers and boobers that's that's true. That's a lot of sexy stuff. But it's like chased sexy stuff. It's not like you're seeing dongers and boobers. That's true. Boobers! Ch-Chinese ghost story. Although later in the movie when one of the people does get to see someone else's boobs, that we don't get to see them just the person in the movie does. I have the note, oh, you got to see your jiblys. Jiblies? My friend. Just more and more infantile names for reproductive lady parts. You're just going to get down to just absolute nonsense.

I saw her. Oh, God. You just need to get you one of those horns, one of those old style horns. So yes, we start off with a man writing and maybe studying something, and then an ethereal ghost comes in and knocks his lantern into the water, and then she starts thrashing on top of him. Yeah, just thrashing. I don't, is that, okay? It's like, she's headphones. It's like, she's the water and then she starts thrashing on top of him. Yeah, just thrashing. Straight thrashing. I don't, is that, okay?

It's like, she's got some headphones on, she's listened to Slayer, she's just thrashing real hard. Thrashing super hard. And then we get this like evil dead style POV demon cam that comes in real fast. Yes, I like this. And then we get the title credit of the movie. Yes. We meet a guy who is carrying around a big old backpack. Mm-hmm.

Wearing one of those like sort of tri-corner hats but without a brim. Sure. Like what's the purpose of those? They don't keep the sun off your face and they're huge. Yeah. I don't know. It's just like a hat fashion. I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. He says something like, at least I haven't run into thieves. Okay, you're definitely gonna. And then he runs into thieves. He runs into thii. In fact, it breaks a rock? Yes, I liked when he broke the rock with it. I was like, oh, this movie is silly. Yes. This movie's very silly. It comes out of the gate so silly.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he hits it on his foot, and it hurts his toe and breaks his shoe. He's so mad about it. He's a director of a bunch of movies. He did this movie called Sue Hark's Vampires, which is about like Chinese Hopping Vampires. We should do this movie at some, but like there's the, I think they're called the Zhang Xi.

Okay. I'm sure I'm mispronouns that and but I actually have a role-playing game where you run a Chinese restaurant, the restaurant. mispronouncing that and butchering it. I actually have a role-playing game where you run a Chinese restaurant during the day and then at night fight Chinese hopping vampires. Oh yeah, I think you told me about this. Yeah, I wanted to run for you at some point. Yeah, I would love to play that. They just hop at you.

And they just hopped at you. It's like really strange. Two-footed hop. So they're springing at you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they had these notes taped on their heads. It's very strange. It's hard to change directions when you're two-foot hopping. Yeah. So I feel like you could, you know, juke them out. Juke? That's the right word, right?

I don't know. So he's running through this thunderstorm and then he gets interrupted by this dude chasing thieves and like Hacking off people's heads and shit. Someone's head just rolls it is not the last time a head will roll in this movie No one gives a shit every time someone's decavitated and there's no blood. No, there's no blood and everyone's just like huh. Okay. They're also in the town. They're also in the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to their their to to to to the to their their to to their their their their their their their their their their. their their. their their. their their. their their. their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the th. They're using wanted posters essentially as photographs and like comparing them to people's faces. So weird. That keeps coming back too and you're like, but why? Because they didn't have photographs yet. I know they don't have photographs yet. I just meant why does the gag keep coming back? While watching this movie I decided that I was going,

it was going to be a precursor to Big Trouble in Little China in my head. Ooh, okay. And I think it has vibes of like that goofy kind of thing as well as being a serious look at like Chinese legends. Yeah, it also has like a very musical theater quality about it. Like when he is talking to, I think a restaurant owner maybe, there's people like pantomimiming, whispering in the background. Oh, yeah, he's talking to the person on the street and asking them if there's any place

he can stay. Right. Yeah, and they're all like acting, they're listening and then as soon as he turned drums, they're like, shabshps, shabshh. extremely musical theater to me. I want to say that this has some connection to the Peking Opera that like Jackie Chan came out of and all that stuff so yeah I think there's some connection somewhere when I was reading a little bit about this. I like when the guy says to him why a different debt collector every time and he says the last one was murdered. He's a debt collector but he's very bad at it. He's very bad and his debt collection book has been ruined in the rainstorm.

Yes. He's very useless. Also the hero of our film. So he's told that there's a temple that he can stay in that's outside of town, but there are very hungry wolves in the forest, so be careful. They're like huskies, right? Yeah, they're like German shepherds. And I swear I saw a fluffy husky tail.

I think so. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're great. They are. This fight scene that is great and also just like kind of breaks out of the one in the in the town where like the town guard are running around just beating the shit out of everybody for being loud like where the two are like arguing with him right between their swords oh yeah oh oh oh when

he's oh yes when we meet the beardo who's the one guy that referred to as only the beardo yeah yeah and then the thief killer is the other guy he's the priest the bire yes yes yes he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he he he he's he's he's the he's the he's the he's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the he's he's, yeah, the swordmaster Yin, I believe is the name of it. Swordmaster Yin, right. Why were they fighting with each other? I know they've been fighting for seven years though. Okay, okay. So yes, they're having this whole argument with our heroes face right between their points of their swords, which is just, it's very funny. And the bearded guy is yon chic-hi, or yank ha, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they, I wrote his name down and then just went right back to refer to him only as beardo. Beardow.

Gotcha. The other guy he's been fighting with for seven years is who now? He's the thief killer? Yeah, that's what I was calling. Yeah, that's what I was calling. the guy leaves, he immediately spits the rice ball back out. Why does he do that?

I would have eaten that. Yeah. I need that fucking rice ball. So he is like trying to settle their argument by being like, you have to know that the universe is infinite and true love is forever because love is the strongest the strongest is the strongest is the strongest is the strongest is the strongest is the strongest weapon of all. And I was like, how much of this is being lost in translation right now? It has to be. Because there are some like subtitles that pop up and I was like, that's not even a sentence structure.

No, that's not right. That's not right. The priest says to him, do you have a brave heart? And he says, of course, and the priest says, look over here and then scares him and he hides behind him, which is very funny. And by hiding behind him, he like bounced down with his head up against the guy's butt. Yeah, it's a good way to hide putting your head in someone's butt. Yeah, it's like a very, but it's also like a very child the gossiping thing when he's asking where he should stay and the

whole town is like whispering Cicerois gossiping and they're just like oh he's gonna die. He's gonna die out there. Yeah. He almost does. He almost does. So he, the priest guy is like, hey, you can come stay at the temple with me. We'll be roommates, basically. Is this where he finds a house full of corpses?

Isn't there like just a house full of corpses? Oh, when he's got like the lantern on and he's reading, they're below him. Yes. Yeah, the whole like basement of corpses. Yeah, a house of perhaps 1, 1,000 corpses. I love the stop animation corpses so much. I love them. Stop motion animation. I love them. They like rise up Hillraiser style and their stop motion and it is just wonderful. It's like 20 of the cigarette smoking guy from Beetlejuice? Yes.

And we see how this happens to someone. It's, I'm not sure if it's our main character woman, basically fucking the life out of a man and then crying about it. So she seduces them. Yeah. Because she's beautiful. Yes. That's a su-shin.

Or su-sin? or Su-Sin. Su-Sin. Yes. I kept messing up the H in the eye when I was writing it out, but it's Susin. Susin. She seduces them and then the old madam comes and sucks the life out of them. Old Dame kicks so much ass and I'm going to be old Dame for Halloween this year. And everyone's going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm old Dame, to be like, tham, to be like, to be like, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, the old, tham, tham, tham, tham, the old, tham, tham, the old, tham, tham, the old dame, and tham, tham, and th and th and th and th and th and their, and th and their, and their and th and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and the old, and I th and I the old, and the old, and to be like, to be like, to be like, to be like, the old, the old, the old tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, tham, and tham, tha, tha' and tha' and tha' tha'en, and thea' and thea' and thea' and thea' and tha gonna be like, are you the lady with the fan from the opening to Masterpiece Theater, Masterpiece Mysteries? That's a much more cultural touchstone, much more relevant cultural touchstone. But I think old to him is gonna be totally, totally cool.

So yeah, so the thief killer goes up to the ethereal lady who we saw at the beginning of the movie and he starts like talking to her and she's immediately like hey I wrote at this point oh Alan said this wasn't gonna be erotic I'm getting a window into what you think erotic is I think it's just people touching each other touching and flowing linens it's flowing linens it's flowing linens it's flowing linens very erotic. It's flowing linens. Very erotic. Man, I can't wait to introduce you to Shaday videos. Or Jodasy videos. Oh, I fucking love Jodasy. Very erotic. Very erotic. Jodasy is erotic.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not not talking about fucking. Oh no. I believe they actually are talking about fuck. I believe they have the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same they have the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same to to introduce tooes tooes tooes tooes to introduce to introduce to introduce to introduce to to to to to introduce to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same tha the the C.c.c. C. C. C. C.C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. Cthey actually are talking about it. I think so, yeah. I think they want to fuck. I believe they have the same problem ACDC does with running out of single entendres. So yes, she seduces the thief killer and then he gets his body sucked dry. Yeah, and then she cries about it. Yeah, she doesn't like doing this to people. No. But you don't, I guess I didn't quite notice

that it was old Dame who took the life out of it. You'll see it at this point. You just see like the demon POV cam again. Because I was like, it's very strange to fuck the life out of We've all been there. I'm not the one crying though. Oh no, why should anyone like me? Because you're amazing. Oh God, so what else is amazing is the skeleton face like turning and going, gung,

gung, gung, gung. So Beardo shows up to carry the body away. I love that his only mode of transportation is wire work. He only flips and spins places. He could walk but he doesn't want to. And his beard is like construction paper cut into strips to be a beard. It's so shitty and I love it so much. Elementary school play. It's one layer of long flat hairs. Yes. And if that's what beards were,

no one would ever wear one. Uh-huh. Although I guess I did have a chin strip for a while, so maybe. Oh, God. Oh, God. You're in your Jedediah face? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yes, he picks up the thiefs. thief. starts going, GANG-GON-G-GON. So fucking funny.

It's so funny. This movie is fucking hilarious. It really, really is. And there's just all this, the animation. I just adore it. I really do. It made me really, really want to start you know that's an actual movie, Katie. I can make it myself and then it will be an actual movie. I only refer to the people in the basement as the stop-motion dry boys.

They are dry boys. They're dry as fog, like Ben Shapiro's wife. Never stops being funny. That's her vagina makes. That. The little dust cloud rolling out. So the ethereal lady prevents our guy our POV character in the movie from going down to the dry boys. She saves him at this point. And she's singing and playing a beautiful song that he is like basically a siren that he's drawn to. What is that instrument that she's playing? Q I N is the name of the, it's like, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, ch ch, ch, ch-chin. Chkin. Chins, ch-chin. Chin, it's like, ch-chin. Chin, ch-a, ch-a, the the the th, th, the the the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the the, the, the, the the, the, the, the the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi-a, thi-a, thi-a-a-s-a-s-a-s. thi. thN is the name of the, it's like the kin.

Chin? It's beautiful. It's beautiful. Yes, and like, I think it's, let's see. It looks like it's the G-U-Q-I-N. G-U-Q-I-N. G-U-K-N. G-U-K-N. I think it's, I think you're going to say chin, right? We've got Koo chin. Is another name for it. God, we are super so bad at other cultures.

I was thinking about that. And uh, uh, so it's, oh, let's see, in Mandarin, it's Koo-chin. Okay. And then in Cantonese, it's Gou-Kim. Okayham, and then in southern Min it's Kukim, Middle Chinese it's the Gim, and then Old Chinese I'm not going to attempt because there's a lot of backwards letters. Okay, in the pronunciation thing, it's like, oh, it's like seven chwas in a row. Shwa shaw shaw. Oh, but there's a, there's an ancient type of the instrument that's called the Q-I-N and that's what it came up for in subtitles. Okay, yeah. When he hands the instrument back to where he's like, here's your Q-I-N, your chin.

I was thinking about, like, we are very bad at other cultures, but like, by watching these films and like getting to know more about this stuff is how we're going to learn this stuff and by people correcting us like oh sure please send us information like you know to it with understanding that we are trying we're not trying to be shitty I think it's obvious that's obvious yeah but you know no one never offered me the opportunity to learn Chinese history so right right or language or anything but I do like that like through like, especially through the action movie podcast and this, we're like branching out more into this stuff and like I feel like now that I know that you have a taste for like these kind of movies, I can just be like, yeah, yeah, let's

get more. Yeah, yeah, let's get more. And I don't like how I just said no and I also have the internet so I shouldn't have said that. But really it's just it's never come up for me. And now I would like to and I feel bad learning about it from Chinese ghost story. That's why I choose to learn about it from Chinese erotic ghost story. But truly please do correct us, please tell us what you know. And please point us to, hit a chord, hit a note and bend it. Yes!

And like it's just so beautiful. It is really, really beautiful. But yes, it is certainly her siren song. Yes. And like, there's a lot of weird pop songs in this, so like hearing like something that's oh, although her siren song is kind of like, like, thi. It's a that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, th. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like yanni of his little new-agey. Yeah. It's a bad instrument too. It's gonna have that Anya vibe to it. Yeah, sure.

Silouet, silhouette, and he earlier in the movie got some like, someone put writing on his back? I didn't understand what that was. Me either. I felt like it happened really quickly and I wasn't able to like suss out what it was. And it seemed like when the person did it, it was an act of kindness that they were doing it for him. I guess, and it's a bunch of little strips and rows too, and it seemed like he didn't notice, and the whole thing's all very confusing.

But when they rip the strips off, he had writing on his back. And now she sees the writing onthe water, which is very funny. And he says to her, how come your hand is colder than mine? And she says because you're warmer than me. Yeah. And like, that's just, he's like, okay. She also says it's really windy. Will you carry me?

Which A, I'm assuming something was lost in translation there. That cannot possibly be right. And B, I definitely want to say to somebody in some. It's really windy, would you carry me? Which is like the implication there being like, I cannot walk on my own for the wind, but like you're strong enough for both of us. It sounds like something my five-year-old would say. It's really windy. Can you try me in the Jesus-the Jesus in this footprints poem to you. And truly you're getting the vibe that this ghost just wants to fuck? She just wants to fuck. Oh, I know what was erotic. So the beard

the bearded shows up and she kicks the guy back into the water after she had saved him already, by putting her ankle out for him to grab and pull himself up on. Right. Very erotic. Everyone knows that ankles are the most erotic part of a body. Do you really think that? No. Okay, well I don't know. People have things of like why people, why women had to wear long dresses back of the day so that you didn't see their ankle accidentally and get a boner from their ankle ankles. Ancles will give you a bone dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog dog. tho. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A bone. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. Those. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. th. A. th. th bone dog, I guess. You know where that leads to? Getting raw dog, making babies. So there's like all this tussling that happens and he fall and our Choi accidentally, Ling Choi son accidentally falls on top of her.

And when he lands on her, it's both hands on her boobs. So there's the erotic pits. That's pretty erotic, yeah. That's, yeah. That's thi. That's tho, yeah. That's tho, yeah. That's the thii, yeah. That's the the thi, thu, thu, the thu, thu, the thu, their, thu, thu, tho, their, tho, thus. So, thi, their, tho, tho, tho, tho, thus. So, thus. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, the, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, their is their is their is the. So, the. So, their is like, their is like, their is like, thea. So, their is like, the. So, the. So, the. So, the erotic pits, yeah. That's pretty erotic, yeah. Ha. Because they have the note accidental titty touch. And then they're running away and there's a cobra? Right. Just a cobra in the middle of the woods? Just a cobra. I don't want to be anywhere that cobras are. I had to be honest with you.

No. I love going out into the woods in the winter because I'm like, oh, you know what, this doesn't have? Snakes. Oh, there aren't any snakes in Pennsylvania. There aren't any snakes in Pennsylvania. Tell that to all the dead snakes on the road outside my house in the summertime. They get mailed here from Ohio. No, there's no snakes. Here's your road snakes. Okay, well then, counterpoint. The snakes. thakee sn snan snakes. tha snakes. tha snakes. tha snakes. tha snakes. tha snan snakes. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. the. thanks. thea. thoes. thoes. thea' thea' the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their snanananananananananananananananananananananananan. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to can't get out of the way of cars. They're just not fast. Well then I can outrun them. So she tells Choi that the beardo would kill them both. Right. Why does she tell him that? Because the beardo wants to kill her. Right. Because she's a ghost. And because she's killing people. Well yeah that might be part of it too. Well. Well. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th it th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th they they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the. the the the. the the. the the the the they. theiro wants to kill her. Right, because she's a ghost. And because she's killing people.

Well, yeah, that might be part of it, too. Yeah, I got it. He, to save her makes the beardo chase him. But I don't get that either, because he'd been staying with the bearded oh, like they were friends. Yeah, but I don't, I, I that, I that, I thu. that's thu. thu. thu. thu. that's thu. thu. thu. thu. thu. that's thu. thu. that's thi, thu. that's that's that's that's tho. thi. thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. that thea that thea. that that that that that that that that That's the question Alan. Who can say? And as he runs away, he comes back through the area that he was in and she has left him a note telling her, telling him never to come to her again. Right, never look for me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm no good for you. Yeah. And the sun comes up and Beardo stops by in the morning. And they get into some sort of pushing argument. My notes are so confusing.

And Joy falls partially through the floor with just his butt hanging down. Yeah. And the zombie vampire guys in the basement, the dry boys, are trying to grab his butt. They're doing like this, it's like Muppets Haunted Mansion level trying to grab him. They're so ineffectual. There's like real human hands and then puppet people and then people dressed up as the puppet people it's also beautiful. I love it so much. Beautiful and terrible. So they rip the bottom half of the lower, the back bottom half of his shirt off. Right. Which causes him to when he gets his butt back out of the hole. the hole. to the b. the b. the b. the b. to. the b. the b. the b. the butt. the butt. the butt. the butt. the butt. the the the the to. the butt. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. But. And. But. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, they. And, the, they. t. they. the, they. they. And, the. And, the. And, the hole run outside to the beard guy and say where's the bottom of his shirt of my shirt

To which the beard says I don't know attached to the top. Yeah, what? But in this whole tussle he lets in some sunlight and they burn up in the sunlight like vampires. Yeah, like at the end of the neur dark. Yeah, uh, or fright night, the thigh. Yeah, to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the th. the the the the th. the th. the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the beard. the beard. the the beard. the beard the beard the beard the beard the bearded. the bearded. the beard the beard the beard the beard the beard the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the beard. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. the. the. the. the. to theo to theo to to to to the beard to the beard the bearded to the bearded. to the bearded. the bearded. to the bearded in the sunlight like vampires. Yeah, like at the end of near dark. Yeah, uh-huh. Or Fright Night if you will? Fright Night, yeah. He, they turn into like a foam? Yeah, well, he just turns the thing. He just puts his fingers in it and sniffs them?

What you do with every foam that you find? You don't sniff it, man. You don't sniffing it, the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, the, thigh, th, th, th, th, th. th. tho, tho, tho, th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. th. And, th. And, th. And, thr, thr, thr, thrown. And, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, thrown. Right, th foam. Don't sniff any, just don't sniff the thing. Don't put your nose. Don't tie. No. So he has the bright idea after those zombie vampires have been burned up by the sunlight. He's like, why don't I just fake the ledger and ask for that amount of money? Yeah, pretty smart. Pretty smart. I like that he still focused on work. Yeah. Yeah, gotta get it done. There's been a lot of like supernatural goings. th. th. the the th. the th. the th. Don't. the the the th. Don't. Don't. the th. the the th. Don't. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho. the thi. thoes. th. th. th. the th. So the the th. So th. So th. So th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thoooooooo. So, the the th. thi. the thoooooo. So, the tho. So, th. So, th he still focused on work. Yeah, gotta get it done. There's been a lot of like supernatural goings on and a cobra, which would put me down for a few days. In a woman that he's like in love with now. Yeah, yeah, I saw that ankle. Yeah, it's an ankle.

She's got a little anklet on it too. Oh yeah. Anklets just make you want to fuck. Anklet and toe rings? Are you fucking getting me? O rings, man, I cannot, ugh, I kind of fuck with a toe ring. It makes me, it like turns my stomach seeing a toe ring. There's something, ugh, it's uh. It can't smell good when it's removed. Oh, God, it's like something, very, oh.

It's making me feel changes. There's a parade, his lady friend is in the parade. Is the parade real? I don't know. Because no one else seems to really interacting or reacting to the parade and she's in it and she's a ghost and can't be out in the suntimes? Oh yeah, sometimes. Maybe he's just imagining a parade in which she is in it. But there's all this like ticker tape falling? Yeah. It's very weird. And then there's all the wolves hanging from trees? Oh yeah, she's killed all the wolves because they messed with their boy.

What all they did was live there. That's where they live. She's trying to get that ankle fucked. Trying to get her ankle fucked. This is where we need Old Dame. Old Dame. Old Dame is so great. In the subtitles they call her her Old Dame or Madem at different points. Yeah, she is phenomenal.

Is this what, because he goes to see her again and she's like... Wait, she must, well, yeah, because he finds her. So does he follow her from the parade? Is she... No, because she just disappears in the parade. Right, you're right, you're right. Um, but then like, he finds her. Oh, she starts playing the, the instrument again.

Yeah. The guchin. And she, and we see a giant tongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongongong, and we're, and we're, and we're, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thus, to, to, to, to, to, th, because, to, to, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, because, to, because, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. thus, thus, thus, thus, thi, thi, 't know it's a giant tongue at this point. It's so gross. It's just like multiple layers of like vainy pink rubbing on each other. I just kept being like, what is this giant pork tenderloin? The vainiest pork tenderloin ever? That's a dick. That's a penis. That's a penis.

That's a penis? That is a penis. That's a penis. Yeah. Um, so he finds her and she shoves him into a bowl or a tub. A tub of water, yeah. And, um, because her two sisters and the old dame have shown up. Right, to tell her that she has to marry the Lord of Black Mountain, who we never meet. Oh we meet him later! It was Lord of Black Mountain. When they go into the other dimension, Lord of Black Mountain is the guy they have gets whipped for a while. Yeah.

Uh, her, one of her sisters is very suspicious about what's going on in the tub, but he's just been holding his breath for, I don't know, 12 to 13 minutes at this point. Yep, yep. And she, um, to cover up so he can breathe, she falls into the tub and tub and takes her top off and that's when the aforementioned jiblies were seen. Jibly Bell. Oh please. There's some weird underwater kissing because you can tell they're both fairly uncomfortable being underwater like this and they're just going mmm. I assume she was giving him oxygen. Oh I thought they were just smooching. Yeah I think it's both. Isn't that what smooging is when you're like 15? It just... I think no I they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just just just just just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just they're just. I was just. I was just. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. I was just just just. I were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just they were just. I was. I was. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I they're just. I do both. Isn't that what smooging is when you're like 15? It just- I think, no, I think you're confusing it with CPR.

You know, when you've been under water for a while, they pull you out and they kiss you. Yeah, all right. They kiss you and they give you the chest hugs. They give you deep, hard, to marry the Lord of Black Mountain, and you have to leave. And he says, take care of yourself, which I think he's saying like, well fine, take care of yourself then. But saying, take care of yourself and then storming out is very fucking funny.

And there's this painting that he saw in town with this beautiful woman watching her hair. And thin, thin' thin, th th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ta. And, ta. And, ta. And, ta. And, ta. And, tauiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. And she has the painting at her house and she gives him the painting. Right. And then as I have in my notes, she white fangs him to make him leave her alone. She does. Yeah, or Harry and the Henderson's him. Get out of here. Oh God, it's so sad. When he gets back to the, um, to the temple, the bearded man is just doing a musical number?

Oh my god. Why? Are you talking about the rap song? I'm talking about, I think so. There's at least two verses. Yeah, the rapes on where he's just rapping about dow? Yes, yes. When he's the greatest thing in cinema I've Fulte where me and Mike and Josh would watch horror movies. And I realize I've never seen all of this movie because we would just fast forward to the rap part and watch that over and over. Because it's so fucking fun.

It just comes out of nowhere and it means nothing as far as I can tell to the plot. It's a little backstory for him that he loves Taoism. Okay. We see him these in a circle of statues and just keeps kick running around the statues. He does so much parkor. He's just going around like freestyle walking, freestyle walking. We also saw a one of the wanted sign photos in town and it looks like him. But with a big scar over its eye. Which he does not have. He does not have. But Choi is now convinced that he's a murderer.

Yeah. Because she told him that he wants to murder them. Right. I can't get over, I can't express properly how good the rap song is. I'll go back and look again, but I don't recall being like this is great. It's for me it's great because it's like early 80s boombap and just like do tf f-doo-dst. And then he wraps about Dow and like does spinning spinnies. The spinny spinnies are good for sure. And it's just like does not fit in the rest of the movie in any way shape or form. No. I love it for that. He's the only the only the only the only the only the only the only the only th th the only the only th th th the only th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. It's th th. It's great thi it's great th. It's great th. It's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great, it's great th. It's great th. It's great th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the. the the the. the the. the. the the the. the the the the the movie in any way, shape, or form. And I love it for that.

He's the only one who gets a musical number as far as I know. Yeah, other than her singing some songs while playing the old instrument. But that's like part of the plot is she's like, yeah, drawing people in with her song. He's just rapping to himself. It made me feel a bit of like, like, Bollywood movies where they's, like, like, like, like, like, they's, they's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. And, thi, th. And, thi, th, th, th, thi, th, thi, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is thi, is thi, is like, is like, thi, thi. thi. thiiiiii. And, is thi. And, thi. And, thi. And, thi, thi,ollywood movies where they're just like, oh yeah, I'm walking out of the street and all of a sudden there's 50 people dancing with me. That's so musical theater also, yeah. Yeah, oh for sure, for sure. Not for me. This word had the note.

Rap song, giant tongue attack, this movie has everything. It sure does. It sure does. It sure does. It sure does. He somehow accidentally hits her in the eye and then says, what happened to your eye? And she says, I got hit by a dummy. Like, that has to be a bad translation too, right? Or? Or the best translation. And this is also where I wrote, this is the most romantic movie we've ever done. Because I don't know, maybe it's a language barrier or what, but I felt like these two had real chemistry. the the the the the the the th th th th th them thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to thi thi to to thi to thi thi thi thi thi to to thi thi thi thi thi, and I thi, and I thi, and I thi, and she thi, and she thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi to say thi toge toge toge toge toge toge toge toge toge thi thi thi thi th it's a language barrier, but I felt like these two had real chemistry

and I really liked them together. We've done like, you know, uh... Tell me. What's more romantic than this? Days of Thunder. Can't hardly wait. Yeah. All that speech he gives about how she's not just the prom queen?

Crossing Tiger Hidden Dragon. No, this is better. More romantic. Prom night to, Hello, Mary Lou. She said everyone aflame in that movie? Yeah, alright, good. They said their hearts all a flame. Yeah, it's romance. Yeah. Oh, God. I forgot we did that. Oh, I forgot we did tho. thi. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the thi. the the the thi. the their. their. their their the the th. the th. th. thi's not th. th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi's thi. thi's not thi's not thi's not thi thi thi theeeeeeea theea thi thea theea thea theeeeee tho the the thi th, yeah. They said their hearts all the flame. It's romance. Yeah. Oh God, I forgot we did that. Remember Promontine one where Jamie Lee Curtis is just doing high kicks? Do you disco dancing? Why is she high kicking like that?

I don't know, she's not mortal. We get a music video of their memories. There's a montage of all their nice moments, which is literally just the previous 20 minutes of the movie. Stands rap video. So silly. And then her sister is in the woods and there's a sister fight? Yeah, the bearded man cuts off her sister's head, but her body keeps going.

And I love that they just go out hunting in these like gossamer gowns, you know? They're kind of like the brides of Dracula in a way in that way. Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then Beardo and Troy right away on horseback. Is this way this is before he turns him in as being the murderer right? This is before yes because then cut to courthouse where we see the totally incompetent like Don Nazi level court magistrate who doesn't want to be at his job.

He's so funny. He's so funny. I love how he's like someone says to him like magistrate our men often arrest the wrong person and he goes really and they're like yeah really. Old-timey ACAB. And... Yeah. Yeah. The man they had in jail really was the murder. They bring him out. It's like basically the same guy but with a scar across his face. They make him look exactly the same.

It's so fucking funny. Was it the same actor? No! It wasn't because they're both standing next to each other. And you can't do that in a movie. I thought, oh right. Right? No, I don't know. What are we, Tom Cruise, face off? What? Tom Cruise, when he's always putting people's faces on. But he wasn't in face on? What are we talking about?

It's either Tom Cruise or face off. I didn't put enough pause in there. Sometimes you just, you floating away like a wisp. It's a constant gattling gun of bullshit and sometimes it's going to hit a mark and sometimes it's just going to shoot off into space where all bullets go when you fire them in the air. Right, just into space. Into the aliens who are just watching us. Yeah, you gotta take them out. Yeah, someone has to do it.

So they're saying Beardtow isn't wanted for murder because they already have the murderer. Yeah. And then as soon as they find that out, the magistrate goes, nah, court adjourned. And then Beardo takes Choi to see the graves of the sisters. This is very like picking up the hitchhiker, right? She's like she's been dead all along. She has been dead for a year. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And then he drops the painting and starts to walk away from it

and it's like, no, I don't want to walk away from it. He's mad at her. He's mad at her for being dead. It's like, I don't know. Like, th you th, I th, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi. thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I tho, I don't that, I don't thi, I tho, I tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. than, than, than, theean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thean, thi. th you found out you fucked a ghost? No, I'm in like a Hallmark Christmas movie, I guess. I don't know, I feel like it's a bit like fucking someone and then finding out they're a Republican. You know? Just dead inside. Yeah. Where you're just like, oh, yeah. Yeah, they just touched ankles, it's fine. Yeah, I guess so.

But they do fuck. There is a fucking scene. Yeah, and you does see your jiblis. Stop saying jiblies. That's it. You're done. You're done. You're done.

You're done. She has the speech, the title. I remember years ago someone pointing out that Casper the friendly ghost is just a TV show but a dead kid. Yes, it's fucked. It's basically pet cemetery with that little kid rolling around and his gauge was cool. And he gets a bell and the bearded the bearded gives him a bell and a suture written in Sanskrit. Yes. The diamond suture, I believe it is called. Yes, they're basically going to use him as bait to try to capture. But he does not seem to understand, or does he understand that he's so stupid?

He's so stupid. He doesn't understand that the suture is going to protect him. Okay. Yeah, he's very dumb. And he doesn't understand that Beardo wants to kill his love interest. No, he does not. Okay. So what he, why does he, okay? All right.

And earlier we've seen that the old dame seems to have power over trees. Yes, we learn that she's the spirit of a like a millennium's old tree. I bet trees are angry all the time. Tell me about that. I just think, they gotta see all this, there's all this pollution. Trees are mad. We're always taking all their oxygen. This from the man who doesn't want to kill spotted lantern flies. This. This this. This this. This this. This thine this. I this. I th. This. I th. I th. This. I th. I th. This. I th. I th. I the the. This is the who doesn't want to kill spotted lantern flies. This from you. I'm team tree, I'm team lanternfly. And you need to kill the flies.

Kill them, Alan. Kill them. They probably did know. It's very cold outside. Yes, but they have eggs that will hatch and there will be more of them. Fry those eggs up. For saun For saun. He says to, oh actually you know what, I think he does kind of understand because he says to her, don't worry, tomorrow we're going to get in there and dig you up.

Yeah, that's right because they have to dig up all the ashes. Ashes and bones. Yeah. So they can give her a proper burial so she can't think you could choose. I guess you get small chunks of bone like you can't burn everything down. There's always like a little bit, a little bits and pieces I think. They just put those in the urn? Yeah, yeah. Do they rattle around in there? Yeah, a little chunky. No, that can't be true. What do I know? Well you're speaking of it like you know? Yeah exactly. Yeah, there you go. Gatling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.ling gun, baby. When I was editing the most recent episode, I was like, man, she just goes along with some bullshit that comes out of my mouth that I really appreciate her. That's my job.

That's the tongue. That's got green goopies all over it. So, oh, the giant tongue. It's got green goue at this point. It's got green goopies all over it. And at the end of it is definitely a dick. It's definitely a dick. And she says, uh,

Susan says to, um, our idiot hero, says, be careful, don't let her tongue. to let her tongue. the they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the tongu. tongu. the the the the the goom. the goom. tie goom. th. th. thoom. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tong Well that dick tongue is trying to get into some mouths. It is going to m-n-m-dom-and-m. And putting K-Y jelly on everything while it's doing it. Oh fucking gooby. And then Pyrdo stabs it? Yeah, there's think she says to him don't turn back, right? Right. And then he turns back and the ribbon disappears, which is very like Greek mythology. Yeah. For the, you know, leaving of the underworld. Exactly. Yeah. And she's just screaming Ling Choisson over and over again as he's running away. Yeah. So Beardo stabs the tongue at this point, or is that later on? He says where do I stick it th. And I th. And I th. And I th th th. And th th th th th th th th th th he th he he he he he he he he th. th. he he thi he he he he he he he he he he thi. he. he he heat heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. heat. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the tongue at this point or is that later on? He says where do I stick it, stick it, and someone says just stick it in. And I said, again, I wrote, I thought you said this wasn't going to be ironic.

And he stabs it and then like tapioca pudding sprays all over his face. Oh, no, it's jizz. It's like really hard to take him seriously for the rest of the movie, because he just has jizz all over his face. It's like a jizz Urak Hai. He's insane. Because the, so the old, so like there's a sort of creature mouth that opens and the old dame, inside the dick tongue. And then the old dame's head is inside the mouth of the dick tongue. At this point, apparently I just wrote, yes, oh my God, yes.

It's just like, oh, I thought this movie was as crazy, was, nope, nope, nope, nope. They haven't even gone to the underworld yet. No, I thought the movie was over. It is not. So there's gonna be a monster wedding. So they have to go to the underworld to stop the monster wedding. Right, so she doesn't have to marry Lord of Dark Mountain? Yeah, okay.

And so this is where I have to know this movie just keeps getting more bonkers. It really does. Um, swordsman Yin going ham on these ghosts. He's just killing ghosts. Yeah, you can just do that. Yeah, you can just do that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then we see that the Black Mountain Man is made up of like a hundred flying heads. Super gross. Yeah. Yeah. And this is where I was like,

all of this shit is somebody else's folklore that I have no idea about it, and I fucking love it. Right, it's referential somewhere. Yeah, it's really cool. There's a podcast called Myths and Legends that I listen to sometimes to fall asleep, and there's a ton of episodes on like old Chinese folklore. I'm going to go back and listen to them. Nice. Awake. Are you going to fall?

I was going to say you're just going to fall asleep. His voice is so soothing. So swords minion gets messed up, bearded. So, that's beautiful. That's a beautiful. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuu. thiu. thiu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I tho tho tho thi. I tho. I'm tho. I'm to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tho tho tho tho tho. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I tho. I tho. I tho. I tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I'm to to to to th. Is himself through the foot into the ground in order to hang on to our hero so that he doesn't get like sucked in. Yeah, that's beautiful. That's a beautiful thing to do for somebody. Yeah, especially for this fucking idiot. Hey, I'd nail my foot to the ground to the ground to save you too. I would nail my foot to the ground to save you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that do that to him so. No he didn't. That movie really sticks with you, huh?

Mm-hmm. I'm like, yeah. This movie's gonna be fun. Oh no! Oh, no! So, um, the Sutra saves them in the underworld. Right. And he makes it back and is able to bring Sword Master Yin back. And she stabs and is able to bring Swordmaster Yin back. And she stabs the big bad through the face and all these little like maybe souls come out of it? Yeah, something. Yeah. We can say. But she doesn't make it back in time before the sun comes out. Right. Because the exit was open sort of and all the souls, I ran out. I don't know where did they go? Where did they come from you know real cotton eye joke situation? Will we ever stop referencing that song? No, no rednecks with an X?

I feel like we haven't we haven't been hitting a bones thugs hard enough lately so so. No you're right. There hasn't been a good crossroads has there? No. And we're talking about all these souls and going to the underworld, this is a primary. Well, do you know what yesterday was? Wake up, wake up, wake up. It was the first of the month. Get you, again, wake up, wake up, wake up, beautiful. So we learned that she is going to be reincarnated since she didn't make it back.

Right. Which seems ideal to her. She seems happy about it. They just don't know when or where she's going to be reincarnated. And then there's a rainbow, so they've got to go chase the rainbow to see if she's at the end of the rainbow. Freeze frame! I was like, I just, I was like, do you think old Crazy Browels over year is tired of being on this journey with him? Like, they're just, what are they doing? No way, dude, Mono Beard is bout about it. I guess so.

In my last night it just says, well, it's over now. The movie just ends. It just felt like they your ratings on this movie. Oh my gosh, right. I adored this movie. Oh, I'm so happy. It was so silly. I could see if you had shown this to me seven years ago.

I'd be sitting here shitting a brick. And I feel like thatalta ruined this show, because I'm just having such a hard time being mad about stuff these days. It's so fantastic. I think everybody should watch it and then just be like, what? I think this movie is a special breed of insanity. Yeah. And it's really rewarding for that.

It's very rewarding. I've been giving things such high scores lately. How dare I like so much? I'm gonna give it a nine. I loved it. I really did. The rap part, I gotta go back and see. I don't know.

Is it? Yeah, yeah, you're gonna want to put it on your running mix. No, no! no. No. What about you? I love it. It's fucking nine. It's great. It's fantastic. I'm sad.

It's taken us so long to get here. But I feel like this is the perfect time to have it, to have it. Okay, because I watch this movie, because I liked it, Tonight, you have to watch Chinese erotic ghost story and report back. I can't do what I share on Amazon with my kid. She'll see it. It's true. Yeah, so you have to do it tonight. Okay, and I have to do it to-night.

I mean, you're leaving town tomorrow, right? Yeah, and I got a pack to tomorrow. So just put on wooo you to put it it it on it to to to to thea it thea thea thea tod. second pack? If you know what I mean? I mean, okay. Suddenly I'm very uncomfortable. All right, so watch when you get back then, okay? I absolutely won, but I will tell you that I did. All right, I need one volunteer from the audience. One. We don't want to hear about your experience. I want you to tell me the plot. All right, so that's... Can I watch Amazon Prime in an incognito window? Like, how do I keep it off my watch list? Isn't there like a, there's like you could set up a kid's account. I know, but we're so deeply enmeshed in mind.

the today the cat. So set up the kids to kids kids kids delete the other account. The Mommy's movies. But see, because you know Rob's going to click on that and he's going to be like, what, what is this, is this what my wife is into? It's her thing. It's a good thing. He's a good thing. He's going to take me in for a few weeks to like get on my feet. Oh beautiful. Happy days. Happy days. I'm so glad

you liked it. I loved it. It was just so outlandish. It's, it's... And I want to say this too. I genuinely think it was romantic and I'm making a lot of jokes about it being. I to to to to to to to to to to to to th th th the th th th th th th the th th thi thi thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to the to to the to thi thi thi to to to to to to to to to to to, and I, wait, I want to say this too. I genuinely think it was romantic, and I'm making a lot of jokes about it being erotic, but I do think it was like, it's very sweet, like, their relationship, she just, I think, feels guilty about what she's been turned into, and he just loves her and she just wishes she was human and it's just very sweet and sad and very much like a folklore you know love story. One thing I'm really enjoying as we get as we're watching more and more of these movies and looking at them a little bit more critically is like the scope and breadth of like this type of cinema yeah like how much they can cram into a movie. And also all the wirework. So much wirework.

Oh my God, the wirework is so good in this movie. And there's stop motion animation. So good. And there's a giant dick tongue with a mouth inside with a woman inside. A woman inside a mouth inside a dick inside a tongue. Yeah. It's like a turducken of good movie. Katie. Alan. We were. We we we we we we we we are. We were. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. We are. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thish fits and m x x x i i i i on twitter hi i'm not i can't remember I literally don't know what you just said but hello to that person they say I'm

sure that you've seen this already and that every podcaster must believe but it's still apt they sent us a tweet by a jessoutherns Gothic. Hello, Jesse. No. They said, I don't listen to podcast to learn something beneficial. In fact, I'm actively against bettering myself. Fuck yeah, me too. I listen to podcast to hear two complete freaks who are over-familiar with each other's

nonsense for 50 minutes, and then in time to adopt their speech patterns myself. Dawn? Dawn. Dawn. Dawn. To which someone replied, I'm still trying to master Katie's pronunciation of clown. Clown. It's real easy. You just don't move your mouth. Hey, just eat all the words. Clan. Clan. Clon. the Blackburn eat all the words. Clon. Colin.

Colin. Roland Blackburn, friend of the podcast. Hi, Roland. After years of where am I am now completely unable to tell the difference between Don and Don. Yeah, Don and Don. Don. Sa' them to me one last time, one last time for old time's sake.

Don is the man's name. Is the morning. Don is the man's name. What's the woman's name? Dawn. And what's the man's name? Don. Nope.

Sir, no. So thank you for sending us that tweet. I'm glad they were infecting people's minds. I would love if people got like an osmosis Pittsburgh accent from me. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. And if that's my lasting legacy in this world, so fucking be it. I'm convinced that there are people when something happens, they go,

oh no, Kogos! People have said that to me on the internet and they always spoke Kogos wrong and they don't know what Kogos is. It's great. Was it a fire at a Kogos? It had been robbed. It had been wronged. As I said I'm re-watching the wire and the bomber accent is so close to the Pittsburgh accent or they're just like mush-mouthed eating their way through all them weren't? If I had my way every wearable family owns listener would drop the letters tea from the word but-hole. Be-hole. My kid says but-hole. It's fine. Yeah, why wouldn't it be? Beho. Everyone's got a beho.

Katie. Yeah. What are we going to do next week? Next week we're doing a movie of your choosing. Yeah. You said that people really hate it. Really love it or really hate it. I'm probably going to really hate it, so I look to the shutter. What's it called again? Everyone's talking about it. It's called Skinne-a-marrink.

I love when you tell me what everyone's talking about because then I know what they're talking about. I appreciate that. Horror Twitter is a buzz about this movie. I gotta get into our Twitter and roll around a bit more. Oh yeah, you do. Because I don't do nothing. You just don't interact. Yeah. All right. I don't know what to say to people. Yeah, fair enough. Yes, we're going to do Skinner Rink. It's on Shutter? It's on Shutter.

It's a hundred minutes long. Thank you. It's made for them. to $ the money back. Right, exactly. Yeah, so. Good for them. Or bad for them if I'm mad at them, I'm not sure yet. Get ready to find out if it's good or bad for them. Yeah.

Next week, on where all of ambulance. You can find our patron, patron.com, back slash, oral amulets. You can find our merch. You can do basically anything. Yeah, where are a family's dot com. Good hub to go to. that to come. A good friend of the podcast made the little website for us. Thanks, Cullen. Thank you, Colin. Cullen emailed me about something recently and I didn't reply. I'm, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Colin, Cullen. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. to me, too. too. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to too, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where. Yeah, where. Yeah, where. Yeah, where. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the the too. too. too. to to to to to to the the to the the the too. I'm sorry Colin. I'll get back to you. It's hard for me, Colin. My fingers are tired. They're all taped up and swollen from all the typing. It's just the typing, man. So much typing. Yeah, it's because you're avoiding those novels on a typewriter for some the unknowing reason. I know and every time I fuck up I the the taped I fuck up. the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. th. thin' th. th. tip. th. th. thi. C. thi. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. tip. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. ta. ta. ta.'m not a great typer. I bought to that word processor, hoping it would speed things up.

It's not, Alan. It's not speeding this. It stifles my creative juices. I know, I know. You we wrap this bad boy up? Hey, everybody, go about your business. Nothing more to see here. Now you say the next line. Or do I?

You can say it. Okay, I want to say it. Thanks for listening to another episode of Whereoff Ambulance. Oh, whoa, woo! Alan's looking at me like I'm gonna say something else I'm not. And the episode on the woo... Bye-bye. Bye. Maniacs are not dead rules, Savini's side you sat the pool.

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Brian from wings and Stephen King. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatries obese and bees We live deliciously at temper trees, obese, crazily caught to daddy. A paranormal act in titties from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.