Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 425- Knock at the Cabin (2023)
Episode Date: April 24, 2023Hello EMTs! I'm on vacation this week so instead of writing up a bunch of jokes about the movie, I am just going to say that in addition to your Pittsburgh baseball Pirates currently sitting in first ...place, Dave Bautista wearing people clothes is my absolute favorite thing to happen in 2023. Come along with us on this journey of the newest film from our boy and yours but mostly yours, M. Night Shyamalan. We have spent a lot of time with ol' M. Night. You can catch his films in Episode 12- "The Happening," Episode 157- "The Sixth Sense," Episode 169- "The Village," and Episode 363- "Old." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance because it's FAST 9 MONTH, BABY! hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com www.werewolfambulance.com  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Katie, I have a revelation.
I had sworn never to watch this movie.
And why was that?
Because I love the book that it is based on.
Okay, okay. So I knew I would be a pissy boy about the difference betwixt the book and the film.
And it is very different come third act, yeah?
Correct.
I highly recommend Paul Tremblay's Cabin at the End of the World,
which I feel like is a far superior title to knock at the cabin. Yeah. Like it's got maybe a triple entendre in it,
but like knock at the cabin's like,
Nog at the cabin.
Uh,
Was it like that?
Nog at the cabin.
Yeah, I agree.
But then I remember that M-night is not a man of subtlety.
He's not a thinking man.
And I think that that th th th that that that that that that that that th th th th th thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the thinking man. And I think that this movie only has some thinking stuff in it because he didn't think it.
But before we get into that, I took other people's thinks.
I took other people's thinks and then I make them a little bit stupider.
You get any good ads on Peckock?
Oh I don't remember what the ads were.
What did you get?
Some TV show about like an adventure nun?
Have you seen this as nun who goes on adventures?
No.
It seems intense.
That's all.
What's called like Nunn, your business?
Something like that.
Nunning out of time.
Way better.
This movie opens on what I thought were baseball scores,
someone keeping score by hand. No, it's patient records. And why? When does that ever come back?
I don't, I don't know. It doesn't. And the name Dave Batista and the guy who
voices Christoph in Frozen. Who is that? Daddy Eric? Oh Jonathan Groffff. Yes. A connection to this show.
He grew up in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with Friend of the Show, Tara from the Your
Next episode and her mother was his music teacher.
Oh!
He, another connection to this show, yeah.
He was on that, David Fincher TV show about murdermen's, that was on Netflix, that film that David Fincher TV show about murdermen's? That was on Netflix, that film that will lose corner bar?
Oh, uh, not Madman.
Mind Hunter.
Yes, he is of mind hunter fame.
That's where I know him from.
Yeah, he sat in a stool that I often sat in.
Though I liked it under the front glass block windows,
but I don't go to lose anymore.
Too far. Too many blocks. But yeah, I was, yeah, we have many connections to this young man. This is a movie of people you're like, oh, that guy. Like Daddy Andrew is from a British
crime show that I really enjoyed. Oh, really? The long call, I think, where he's like a D-I with a checkered past and trouble in his
heart, but he's also like really good looking.
Okay, you don't say. Yeah, I do say.
And of course, Rupert Grinn't.
Ron Weasley, what is this accent he's doing? Because he's like, I think he watched one Marking Mark movie and was like, th.. It th. th. It th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. From, th. From, th. From, th. From, thi, thi. From, thi. From, thi. From, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. From, thi. Fuck, Ron Weasley, what is this accent he's doing?
Because he's like, I think he watched one Marky Mark movie and was like, got it.
Nailed it, let's go.
When he dies, I was like, thank God.
Spoiler alert.
Well, yes.
So we see a cute little baby angel child collecting grasshopper.
She is cute as the fucking button.
This actor, what is it, Kristen Chu?
Kristen Chu.
Yeah.
She is fucking phenomenal throughout this entire movie.
So good and so cute.
She's so adorable.
My child would never be as industrious as this bug collecting child.
She's made a little terrarium.
Yes.
She's collecting these grasshoppers.
She's observing them scientifically.
Yeah.
She wants to see what she can do, what she wants to learn about them so she can help
them.
Yeah.
Is her whole get up and go. and lovely child. I love her. Yeah. And while she's doing this, a literal giant walks out of the woods. It's Dave Batisa in people clothes. He looks so weird in people clothes. I know
he's like in Marvel movies now. I know he's like in Marvel movies he does not wear people clothes.
What does he wear in Marvel movies? He has like pants on and no top. I know he's like in Marvel movies. He does not like pants on and no top. Okay. Because he's he's a a a a a he's a he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. He's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. He's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. top. Okay. Because he's a super jacked dude. Yeah.
But I've seen him in other movies where he wears people clothes.
He's very good actor.
No, I think he's good.
Yeah.
He's always been good on the mic.
Yeah.
I always liked him.
I think have, where
he's just like, I'm actually going to be a journeyman actor and I'm going to do all
these rad things and like, Duane the Rock Johnson's like, I'm going to ruin franchises
because I can never be the bad guy.
Is that true?
Yeah, he ruined the black Adam. Okay. So I saw a lot tho the th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thu. I tho, I tho, I tho, I thi. I'm the, I'm the, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going thi. I'm going the. I'm going the the the the thea. I'm the the thea. I'm thea. I'm the. I'm going th, but I assumed it was just nerds. Yeah, it's a nerdship, but like apparently the character Black Adam is supposed to be like an
anti-hero.
Okay.
He's the bad guy in the story, but Duane the Rock Johnson can never, like contractually cannot
be the bad guy in anything.
So cast someone else. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. May I recommend Dave Batts. to have th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. th. tho thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. C. C. I the the the the th. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. C. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. the. the. the. I the. the. th. the. the. th. the. th. I tha. I th. I th have been great. I also think it's the glasses that they have on him,
because he's wearing like sort of big grandpa glasses,
but they're still too small for his head.
He looks so funny.
He does the amazing thing of being like super swole
but still having a chubby head.
Yeah. And it's like a very round head. It's so round. You could put it on the ground and kick it and it would go forever.
And that's how we created Sucker.
It's a beautiful game.
So he meets Wynn, he introduces himself to Winn and she's very suspicious of him but
but warms up to him.
Yeah.
At which point you realize she's been unsupervised a while?
Sure. Yeah. There are bears. She's a baby. I like when I found
out he was cast in this role and being a lover of the book, I was like that is the most perfect
casting for this. Because he can do sweet and like kind really well as being unbelievably intimidating.
Yes, like throughout the movie, you never really get mad at him, but you're like,
oh, this fucking guy.
Yeah, at any moment this guy can come on corks and everybody's fucked.
And yeah.
And he's just like, when he sits down, he's like, oh, I love catching grasshoppers with you.
Like he asked permission to do the grasshopper hunting with her. Yeah. And she, precocious. What will win? She's so great. She's so cute. And he asked her
about the scar on her lip. Yeah, she's a cleft lip repair. And he tells her that he has a scar as well, but you can't see it because it's his heart that's broken. Yeah. Yeah. So she gets up and runs to the to to to to to the to the to to the to the the to the the to the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What th the. What th. What th. What will th. What will th. What will th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. What th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th of what they have to do there that day.
Yep.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she gets up and runs to her dad.
She's like, well, that's a red flag, Dave Batista.
I have to go now.
Yeah.
You and your people close, leave me alone.
So she goes inside and at this point, people begin to surround the house, like a classic home invasion.
Yeah.
And she has told DeBatissa that her dad's names are Daddy Andrew and Daddy Eric.
Right. So she goes and finds them and she's like, there's people and they're scary and
they're going to come in the house and we have to go and they're like, what the fuck are you talking about? there's nobody out here. We're out in the the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle the middle. We're the middle. We're the middle. their th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. to. too. to. too. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. to te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. toda. t t t t t t t t t like, what the fuck are you talking about? There's nobody out here. We're out in the middle of God-awful nowhere.
Yeah.
Like, in a beautiful cabin, like I would rent this Airbnb.
Yeah.
Minus the murder aspects.
I mean, does the book go into any sort of explanation of why these people are
chosen?
Is it the people that were in that cabin? It just has to be the people, it's the people that's in that cabin. That cabin is specifically. They had no idea who they were going to meet, supposedly, when
they got there. Where, does the book go into like, where? Ah, forget it. Like where the
prophecies come from? Yeah, I guess so. Okay. Like the book is way more ambiguous about all that stuff. Okay. Like including in the third act when. the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the book. th. the the the book, the book, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they's, they's, they's, they's, they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. they're, they're, they're, they're, the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the book. the. thea. thea. thoooooooooooooooooo. It's the book. the book. the book. they're they're they're they're they're they're. Okay. Like, including in the third act when like,
the movie's like, hey, hey, dumb dumb.
The book's like, hey, hey, guy.
You're a little dumb, but we're not gonna call you that.
Reader, I think you're probably just as smart as I am.
Let's see where we can go on this.
Let's see where we're headed. I love Paul Trembla and th I've shouted out his books before, he's thanked us on Twitter.
Cute!
Like, we're so famous.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So, yes, they start like shutting all the windows, um.
they start like, shutting.
And I love that when's going around and shutting the window. She's useful. She's thi that's useful. that's useful. that's useful. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. thin. thin. to thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. We. to. We's. We's. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. th. to. She's so cute. See my kid would also not be that useful. Just be farting. Just people sitting on the floor like no. I love that kid.
So me too. Yeah. So we see the like we don't see the other people yet but we see what they're carrying which are these like jury rigged weapons.
Why is that necessary? Why do they need these like weird medievaly, like one of them is a pickaxax with like a like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like th like th like th like th like th like th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I I th. I I I th. I I I I I I I I I I th. I I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. necessary? Why do they need these like weird, medievaly, like
one of them is a pickax with like a cork in one end of it, like a mallet? I don't understand.
So the weapons came to them and their premonitions. So they had to build those weapons to bring with them to do what they had to do. So that's why they have these very, that's why they called they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call they call the they call their their they call their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. the. too. too. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they. they had to do. So that's why they have these very, that's why they call them tools, not weapons.
Although they do say weapons several times.
Yeah, and I really love this thing that's also in the book in the movie.
I'll try to not compare the two too much because I feel like it ruins the, like,
the and is going to call the cops, and he's yelling
and he's going to call the cops, and the one woman is like, hey, we know that you can't
do that because no one gets cell phone reception out here, and I cut the phone lines.
So that's not happening.
And I really like that thing of like,
you're fucked and we know you're fucked.
And we're like kind of sorry about it?
Yeah, yeah.
Um, and they knock seven times.
Why do they knock seven times?
Uh, because like the biblical reference of seven,
seven is God's number.
Like, 777 is the ante 666.
Dude, really?
Yeah.
I never heard that in my whole life.
Yeah.
Seven is like a lucky number.
Well, yeah.
And I thought that was because of gambling, like the cherry machines?
Yeah, but there's some like biblical reference to 7 as well, I think.
I mean.
And then Dave Batis is like, I'm gonna break the door down. Yeah.
And I love when he looks out, when Andrew looks outside and goes,
holy shit, that one dude is huge.
She is huge.
He's a giant fucking human being.
I love how hard Andrew works to hold on to his American accent.
Because it's a tense movie, and there's a lot of times where he has to yell.
And when he's yelling, you could just th th th th th It's so hard to do an American accent if you're British while you're yelling.
What if you do a Robostony accent?
I was like, is he Southern?
Is he from like, Alabama?
What's he doing?
It's Boston.
No, it's Boston.
Well, there is that talks like this. And I was like, you born and raised in Providence, Rhode Island and that's just
how you talk. Way about the Mason Dixie. Yeah, a little bit. So what is it? Sabrina gets in. Yeah. And she's now confronted them and like gets them like they're freaking out because someone's in the house. And then, um, and then, um, they're like, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're the they. they. they. they. they. their their their their their their their their their their to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. thrown. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they're freaking out because someone's in the house.
And then Ron Weasley breaks in through a window and he's being kind of aggressive.
Yeah, he's real worked up. Yeah. Yeah. He's a real asshole if I'm being honest with you.
And we find out later he's a supermassile. Yeah. So Sabrina knocks out Eric, like trips him,
he gets a... He attacks her. He attacks her, she like sweeps his leg and he hits his head
on the ground and just goes cold. Right. And then Andrew beats the shit out of Redmond, which is Ron Waisley. Redman. I will call him only Red Man. He's not Red Man. He's not red man. He's a red man. He's a dollar. He's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He's a the th. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a dollar. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. He's a th. th. th. th. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. tr. Red man. I will call him only Red Man. He's not Red Man, but he's a Red Man.
He's a dollar box. And that's for all you people that have watched Red Man's episode of Cribs.
Loving you, Red Man. So they sort of wake up tied to chairs. Yeah. Yeah. And the other woman is named
Adrian. She says, Our our choices make our destiny.
I almost got that tattooed.
And I was like, I like you.
And while Eric is out, we see him have like a flashback to Eric's,
to Eric meeting his parents or him meeting Eric's parents.
I think him, Andrew's parents coming to visit them.
Yes.
Because he says they drove for seven hours' parents coming to visit them. Yes.
Because he says they drove for seven hours and say it for 45 minutes or something.
And they're super not stoked on them being queer.
Yeah.
And it's, it also happens in the filliest of Philly neighborhoods, which is very silly.
I expected there to be a woman yelling Brianna down the street because you insist, always happens. Always. Always. But this is just like this is where I think M. Night
really shines because this is establishing a bond. This is not in the book. This
is a thing that they do. But he does it in a movie and he does it very well with
the song later while they're all in the car singing together. Yeah.
Where you're just like it's show don't t just see that this is a close-knit family
that loves each other.
Can I tell you that my family does that too,
but with break in the law by Judas Priest?
Sure.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, you should pick a wholesome song.
But you've also never heard a five-year-old screech.
You don't know what it it's what it's th is. I just want to see her get stoked with, Bow, down, now, down, down, down, down, down, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
bough, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, bff.
God damn it, I just broke a sweat, it's so hot here.
Come on, Rob, be cool. Or Glenn, or Glen, th, be th, be the other th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be th, be the th, be th, be th, be th. th. th. to to to to to to to to th. th. to, to, to, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the, th. the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Downing, other members of Judas Priest.
That's, I'm out. I could do Rob Halford, Glenn Jipton and KK Downing.
That's pretty good. Yeah, thank you, thank you so much. You're welcome.
So yes, he wakes up and the dads are tied to chairs.
And I love when just hanging off of one of them.
They don't tie up when, which is like very sweet.
Yeah.
Oh man, and Dave Batisa says it's almost time.
Right, and he has them all introduced themselves to the family.
Right. And he has the second grade tea tea from Chicago. Right. Yeah, Ron, Weasley is a ma'a. th. th. th. th. th. thiiiiiiii thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the theeeeeeeeeeeeean theean. thean thean. thean. theeean. thi thi thi thi thi th deserve to know who they are. We learn that he's a second grade teacher from Chicago. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Ron Weasley is a masshole. Sabrina is a nurse and
Adrian is a line cook. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're told that the four of them are there to prevent
the apocalypse. That's what they say. And it really does seem like a psychological break. That they've had.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Does the book, is the book ambiguous in that way?
Okay.
Which I really love, like the idea that like, is it or isn't it?
Yeah.
I like the idea that like people can be radicalized on the internet
because they all met on a message board.
Right. And you can, like, I mean, look at that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the that's the the the the the the the the the the book, the book, the book, the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is the book, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, the the the book, the book, the book, the the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, because they all met on a message board.
And you can, like, I mean, look at Q&O.
Right.
Look at that shit where people think a thing is,
or a war, pizza gate, or any of that stuff.
How easy it is to fool people?
Sure, yeah.
You're so stupid.
I remember when Trump was first running for office,
and there was this meme going around about how he said if he was ever going to run for president he would run as a Republican because
Republicans are stupid and he could trick them. This was a complete lie he never
said this. He's not clever enough to say that. And I totally fell for it. I was like
this fucking dude had this plan all along and it's like it's so easy to get wrapped up in that shit. the thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thrc. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. thrown. their. thrown, thr-I. thr-I. thr-I's like, thr-I's like, thr-I's like, thr-I. thr-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. He's a thrug. He's a thrcc-s. He's a thrc-s. Hea-s. Hea-s. Hea-sipeeuuuuuuuuu-sunc-sipipipipipipededed-sipiped-s. Hea-s. He's a thing the other day that Pelicans cool themselves off by pushing their spine out through their beak.
And I was like, holy shit, and I told everybody I knew about it largely.
And then I saw something a few days later on my Google cards that was like, that was a lie.
And I thought, God, I can have.
Look at the pictures, though.
I don't know what they're currently doing Joseph Mangala.
Oh my gosh, how?
I mean like, that's.
He's a bastard.
He's a bastard, but like, that's a hard listen, I feel.
Apparently, his family called him Beppo, which is Joseph and Italian.
Yeah, Bucca de Beppo. And so Robert Evans says that Bucca de Peppa was named after Joseph Mangala.
It goes on this whole lie about why.
And then apparently people on Twitter were like, yo, is this real?
Wow.
Is Bucca de Peppa really named after Joseph Mangala?
I mean, that's a fact-based podcast.
You can't just do that.
By a dude who thinks it's really funny to fuck with people. Sure. So like, you have to take shit with the greatest salt that he says.
I guess so.
I love Robert Evans, but yes, he's...
Remember when we went to Bougou de Babo last summer?
I too, that was a delight.
It was fun.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Let's do that.
Let's do that. again. Oh for sure. I still think we should have a Gateway Clipper meetup with all the fans.
I would love to do that. Get in touch if you want to meet up on the Gateway Clipper. It's really fun.
Can we do a live show on the Clipper? Yes, you absolutely can. People get married on the Clipper. So they definitely have a PA. Oh my god. Would that be the most yinzy thing I've ever done? I love. that. that. that. that. that. that. that that. that that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th, th, th, th th th th th th th th, th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get th, get that, get that, get that, that, that, that, that, get that, get in that, get in that, get in that, get in that, get in that, get ever done. I love the person that said we were a podcast of two yinsers. I know I thought that was very sweet. Yeah. Because
you're pretty yinzy these days. I'm not but I am very honored to be, I feel like
I can never claim that because I was not born here. It's just because you
speak like a reasonable person. Anyway, anyway. So what we learn is that the family has to make a choice and they have to sacrifice
one of their own.
Jesus Christ.
There's all these rules.
It has to be voluntary.
They have to, it has to be done by the other family members.
It can't be suicide.
Yeah, it's got to be done by somebody who loves you.
Oh, it's about love. Exactly. It's about sacrificing love. Which is very biblical again. It's
that do, oh Abraham and Isaac. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a guy was like, no, just
kidding, just fucking with you dog. That's such a weird story, right?
The Old Testament is whack. I would seriously just...
Fuck you God. Make cookies. Go to hell. How about no?
I do have to say that I appreciate that M. Knight managed the restraint of not making it
seem like it was a hard choice for the family.
They were like, of course we're not going to fucking do this.
Yeah, yeah.
Because you would never, you would never consider it.
No.
So I appreciate that he wasn't like, but what if they thought maybe, you know? Because I feel like he doesn't necessarily really understand people. Yeah, for sure.
And then, just that, like, what an amazing premise Paul Tremblay came up with of just like,
this home invasion, and people are like, look, you have to kill one of your loved ones in order to save the world.
Fuck that. Yeah, can you imagine that choice? I can. The answer is fuck no.
Yeah. No way.
And Andrew is like, I would watch the world burn. Yes, of course. Of course she would.
Of course she would. Yeah. Yeah.
But amazing, like such a good premise, like it's such a good launching point for a story.
And there's such a like interesting dynamic of home invaders who don't want to kill you.
They literally can't kill you. Yeah, yeah. And don't seem to have any real relationship as well. With each other, right? Yes. Because when like Redmond is mouting off, you know, uh, Dave Bat, like, stop it, like, don't do that. Like, that's not where we're here to do.
You're scaring them, they'res with the narrative of the story.
Yeah.
So they say they won't choose.
And Redman pulls a hood over his own head.
Yeah, crying.
Crying. Yeah.
Yeah. Probably.
But see me.
Hardwarts.
I thought you were going to say kicked out of hardcore.
Turned into an Otsy, kicked out of hardcore.
But he like it's such a good like he knows he's a shitty dude.
Because he says in his speech I've done some awful things.
He says like I'm single if you can imagine.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, he's Ron Weasley crying with a bag over his head. And then they...
He says, his life, he says, a part of humanity has been judged.
Yeah. And then he...
Then they get murdered by the fun, fun weapons. They murder him.
They murder him. And then they turn on the TV to look at the news to show that an earthquake and resultant tsunami have happened. But the earthquake has happened four hours ago. Right. And the the the they they they they they they they. they. they. they. they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they're. And they're. And they're. And they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. And th. And th. And the. And they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they news to show that an earthquake and resultant tsunami have happened, but the earthquake has happened four hours ago. Right. So I'm now like,
well they're lying. Right, exactly. Even now I still think they're lying. Right.
Right, right. That they were... I think it was all coincidence. But like, the fact that that can just plant that seed of doubt. Yeah. Yeah. The people are sociopaths. Right, right, it they they they they they they they they they they they they they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were thii, thi, thi, thi thi, thi, thoomomomomom, right, thi tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th th. So, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. Right, thi th. Right, thi. Right, thi. Right, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, thi. So, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the that seed of doubt into the family's minds. Like, these people are sociopaths.
They're lying to us.
And they just killed somebody, like, they're serious.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We do get a flashback right after Red Minus Guild of the family of the two of them
adopting when?
Yeah.
She's such a little beebe.
The painting of Christ playing soccer?
I love it.
I was like, I kind of want that on my wall.
I love it so much.
It's like how I want to collect all those statues of Jesus playing sports with kids.
I love it.
I like, I don't want to have to, I want them, but I don't want to have to explain it to Lucy. Like, here's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it's why it?? th. th. th. thi? thi? thi? thi? that? that? I? I'm? I? I'm? I? I? I that? I? I? I? I? I? I? I. that? I. that? I. that? I. that? I. that? I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th that that that that that that that that that that that th thi. Exactly. I used to collect religious iconography until one day was a friend was like we were talking about something and I made some
offhand a comment about how I hated God and they were like I thought you were
Catholic. Because you had all the like prayer candles and stuff. Yeah yeah I used
a portrait of Virgin Mary hanging in my living room. Yeah I thought you were Catholic.
Yeah I am I had Beetle juice and Lydia prayer candles and one day I came home after my aunt had been
watching my daughter and she had turned them to face the wall.
I was like, oh, you know, putting those away before you come over.
Because my family's super Catholic.
That's fine.
I had to put my, you gave me the Elvira and Mary Barry candles and I had to put them on the back of a shelf because Missy's like, I just don't want Elvira hanging out and I was like, come on.
How dare you?
Put her up here in the Elvira room.
Big ass tittes right behind you.
Bring the bell.
Wait, hold on.
I can reach it on my foot.
Useful feet. But that's a very sweet scene again of like establishing this bond that they all have.
Because she's so cute and they're so happy.
They're both really good actors too.
I think the dads are both really good.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want them to win.
Yes, but you also kind of love Leonard.
Sure.
Yeah. Who is now outside and I wrote that he barks that he barks, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they they they they they they they they they, they, they, they, they, they, they they're, they's they's th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi., thi., thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooes, th Oh, keep it down. If you can't barf silently, don't barf.
Missy is also a loud barfer, don't tell her that I said that.
Well I think he just told like thousands of people that.
Good thing she doesn't listen.
So they turn on the TV.
Who is there an infomercial?
Listen.
Listen. This is the most ta- tase- taste- taste-taste-taste-taste-taste-taste-taste-taste-taste-tas-tase-tas-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-tase-a-tasks-tase-tha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n't to-n't to-n't to-n. th. to th. to to to to to th. to to-n't to-n't th-n't th-n't th-n't th-n't thi-n't-n't-n't-nooer-noer-s. tho-so-so-so-so-so-so-s. Ifa-so-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-s. tho-a-. Listen, this is the most tasteful putting himself in a movie that he has done yet. I agree. It's not him giving
hours of exposition, no. As in the village, it's not him being the driver of the
vehicle in children fuck old people. It's not... Children don't fuck old people.
Children don't fuck old children. Fuck the child.
You never have a baby that dies because it grows old too bad. Stop! Stop! I don't want to talk about old.
And all of the other like movies that he's put himself in.
This one is just like, I'm an infomercial.
I have nothing to do with this movie.
But also, he can't even do an infomercial guy.
Everybody can be an infomercial guy. You see that? It's the best air-fried chicken you've ever had. That's all you gotta do.
He's just like, you like chicken?
You like chicken, you bitch?
Here's some chicken.
What?
I put people clothes on this chicken.
It's wearing the same outfit as Dave Budista.
I just, I love it because he wants to be Hitchcock. And Hitchcock was like, I'm in this movie, thii. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's, I's th. that's that's th. that's that's that's that's that's that's thi. that's thi. that's thi. that's thi. that's thi. that that that thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, it's Hitchcock was like, I'm in this movie, but I'm reading a newspaper in the background. I'm walking a dog past the window.
If you catch it, you catch it.
If not, good one.
He never had a speaking line in his movies.
Did he know?
Not that I know of.
Yeah.
He never was shot.
told you. like, you know what, Tippy Hedrin, it's the birds. Pointing at the sky.
Speaking of, I thought nobody went to the beach in Portland.
How is that beach so packed?
I thought that Portland beaches weren't for hanging out.
Well, isn't that the Goonies beach?
Oh is it?
I don't know.
Yeah, I think it is with that rock.
I think that rock is from that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the beach in the beach in the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that the that that the the the the the the the I think that rock is from Goonies, okay. Where the wave comes in. I haven't seen Goonies in 20 years. Yeah, you're better not to. Leave it, leave it in the past.
Yeah, yeah. What's bad about it? It just doesn't hold up as well as you want it to. Yeah, I'm not a child going to to try. I'm a 40-year-old woman. I'm 39. I'm just thirty th-30. th-30. th-I-I-I-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm 30-I'm th-I'm 30-I'm 30-I'm 30-I'm 30-I'm 30-I'm th-I've th-I've thoerou-I've really really really really thirty-I've really really really really really really really really really really really thi-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th-I'm th. th. th. th. th-I'm th. th. th-I'm th-I'm th-yeah. thirty-yeah. thirty-wo'-yeah. th-wo'-wo'-wo'-yeah. thirty-wo'-yeah. thirty-yeah. thirty-yeah. thirty soon. No, next year. We're going to have a big party.
I also think it's kind of ineffective
that we were watching this on TV
and then the perspective changes so that we're there.
Because we are supposed to be putting ourselves
in the father's shoes, I think.
But like, it takes you out of it because now you're on the beach.
100%. because now you're on the beach. 100% yeah and you're going get this footage how would they get this footage?
Lady why are you still filming this? Why aren't you running? Why aren't you're running? Why aren't you're
you're running? Why aren't you're going to air this footage of just like thousands of people being killed?
Yeah, yeah, it's very again the book is much more subtle in all of this, yeah, yeah, you're gonna find you're gonna you. you're gonna you. you're gonna find you. you're gonna find the the the the you're gonna find the book, you're gonna find to find the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, the book, you're gonna find the book, the book, the book, the book, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You're gonna th. I, th. You're gonna find, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. thi. I're the. they're they're they're thi. Why, they're they're thi. Why, th. Why, they're th. find a hundred belief. Hard to believe. Hard to believe. And I'll stop here and say, every Paul Tremblay book I've read has been fantastic.
So, go ahead and enjoy a Paul Tremblay book.
Get to your library.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've taken them all out of the library.
That's why no one else can't read them all.
Andrew goes on this tyrant about how we're not thing th other and then turns to Eric and Eric is like zoned out.
Right, we're told that he's severely concussed.
Right, exactly.
But Andrew takes it as he's thinking about things.
Right, that he might be believing them.
And Leonard says that they're on the same. Otherwise it's a bit of a conflict of interest.
Cut to family rocking out to Casey in the Sunshine Band.
Yeah, it's cute.
Yeah, it's very cute.
We see them arriving at the cabin and Eric is very,
he's very much the helicopter parent who doesn't want when to get her, he's like,
there might be rusty nails on that dock.
And Andrew's like, yeah, I'm going to take my shirt off and go jump in this water right
now.
Yep.
And then Eric jumps in fully clothed?
Yeah, he like takes off his shoes and then just jumps in.
Weird.
Also one of her dads is a great braider, because she has some great braids throughout this movie. It's true.
It's got to be Eric, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew spent all that time learning how to fight, not learn how to braid.
Right.
So, yeah, right, his training montage.
I wish they'd done a similar training montage of Eric watching YouTube. So at some point no one's paying attention to when and she just runs out the door.
And that kid running alone into the woods is really what's terrifying.
Because we're told that it's much further from the main road than they expected.
And I was so scared for her being out in those woods.
Yeah, especially when Dave Batista immediately realizes that she's run out of the woods and he's following her.
And he catches her. Yeah. And brings her back in. And then pulls a photo, a folded like three by five photo out of his pocket and I was like,
I don't know. I guess I just love in like contemporary movies when people carry around
photos in their pockets and pretend we don't have cell phone. Yeah. They like open their wallet and have pictures in it. You're like who? What? Is that your ID? I don't know what? that your. that your. that your. that your. that your. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to. to. their. to. to. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm like. I'm like. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I. I. I. I. what it's for. But I love the thing of her like running and hiding around a tree or whatever and just
being like, well he can't see me because I can't see him because I'm seven.
Right.
Yeah.
Again, seven.
She's not yet eight.
Six days away from his birthday.
And Andrew is now accusing them of doing this because they're gay.
Yeah, he thinks they were targeted because he thinks he's recognized Ron Weasley as the
man who attacked him in a bar in Boston several years ago.
Yeah.
He is.
He is the man.
He is the man.
Yeah.
Spoiler alert.
Which is just a coincidence, I guess? Well, that's what I'm asking you, Alan, you read tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thoom. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi I'm asking you, Alan, you read the book. That's, it's, that's your ambiguity of it.
Don't you shrug at me.
Yeah. Okay.
It could, like, I love that he lays out all these things that could be, like, is it just
coincidence or is this a setup the whole time?
Yeah.
Yeah. It's a really well laid out book. It's really interesting. Because of course they're not in Massachusetts. They're in Pennsylvania. In Pennsylvania, of course.
Falk in Pennsylvania, full of scorpions. So Eric and Winn make a plan to put up a
distraction. Yes, remember what you did at Thanksgiving. I love using your
child to do your bidding to get you out of things. It's fantastic. And she hands him a knife, and Andrew has a plan to get the gun out of the car. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. F. I, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the bidding to get you out of things. It's fantastic. And she hands him a knife and Andrew has a plan to get the gun out of the car.
Right, it's in his trunk, we're told.
Mm-hmm.
In a safe.
Right.
And at this point, it's Adrian's turn to die?
Question mark.
Well, yeah. And Andrew doesn't believe it. Right. Right.
Right.
Because it seems like a very sobby story that you would tell someone who you wanted to murder
their family.
I mean, I don't know what story I would tell someone that I wanted to murder their family.
I don't know where I'd go.
I hope never to be put in that situation.
Sure.
If I'm getting premonitions, I'm just going to keep them to myself. Oh, yes, I'm not going on the internet about it.
Hell no.
They're watching you.
Bill Gate and Steve Job, they know everything you're doing.
Again, we're not joiners.
So now it's the next morning and they have to choose again.
And Adrian goes and tells them her story about how she has a son.
She's giving me real Rachel Dratch energy.
She has that kind of vibe.
She is, you're right about that.
Yeah.
And I was like, man, I love Rachel dratch.
This is great.
I don't see enough Rachel dratch, really.
They don't decide so she hoods up.
She's also sobbing sounds. Why do humanity has been judged. Stabbing sounds.
Why do they have to stab her so many times?
No, no.
They do it to Sabrina too, or Leonard does it to Sabrina too,
even though she's dead.
Yeah.
What so?
Do they have to stab them seven times?
Oh, got it.
So then we learn that a virus has erupted and it's killing people real good. Yes. Yeah. But there's
it's also like oh everything's shut down and the people are working. It's like
no and I've lived through COVID-SERS none of that happens. And and
Andrews like yeah no I know about this disease I heard about it like weeks ago.
Right. This has been going on for a while and he's like calls them out. He's like that tsunami help you knew this program was going this program this program th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. theoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the calls them out. He's like that you do. You know you knew this program was going to happen at this time.
Right because it's not a live broadcast. It's like a pre-recorded show.
Yes.
Which is also more evidence that it's all a hoax.
Mm-hmm. So when has her meltdown?
She's so good. I want to watch a guy too! She's so cute.
In the book it's Stephen Universe that she wants to watch. You love Stephen
Universe. Okay. Which I was like, is that the appropriate? I don't know. All the
people I know who watched Stephen Universe are almost 50. So I don't, which I've never seen. No? No?
Not even when you were a kid?
Nah.
I guess you were not.
Too cute for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like T-Man.
Yeah.
I was thinking about a, uh, one of the action figures for He-man was a.
the action figures for He-M. What was the one that smelled like a skunk?
Oh, Skunk-core.
Skunk-core.
They had great names like Mossman and Skunkore.
Two-Face.
You know what his thing is? Two faces.
Oh, you're talking about man-y-faces.
Man of Faces.
Man, man-faces. Fn'lue,s? Like that a lot. This is officially just become
a He-Man podcast. I mean, that's probably out there. Oh I'm sure. Yeah. He cast? Oh my god.
Podman. Master to the Potverse? Nailed it. Nailed it in three. So Andrew makes a run for it while she's having her meltdown. Yeah.
To get the gun out of the car.
He goes, we're told that it's in the trunk and he goes up to unlock the front door of the car.
Yeah. Why don't you go for the trunk?
Your key not open that?
Yeah.
Very annoying Andrew.
Oh God.
But again, you have to thinking your most effective thought. Yeah, but he's had all this time to think about it. Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's all. So anyway, he gets to the door of the front door. Mm-hmm. And then shimmy shammies his way into the back. Well, Sabrina has already spotted him. Right. And is out there with her pole axe or whatever she's got their tires or whatever. their tires are their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. th. th. th. their th. their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the the the the the the th. And he sees that their tires are up all up and flattened. And he gets the gun out and shoots Sabrina
after she stabs him in the leg and then slowly gives him
like the spear wound of Christ in his side.
Yes, because she's trying to stop him from going for the gun.
Right. But she's not stabbing him hard enough to stop him.
Because she can't kill him. Because she can't kill him. Yeah. Boy. Yeah. But that's not what happens in the book. Somebody gets killed. Yes.
Okay. We're not gonna. We should we should not. With the gun. Yeah. Okay. So then we see the
incident with Red Men in the bar and flashback. Oh it sucks so bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is always my fear of someone walking up and glassing me in the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's not. that's not. that's not. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. that's. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. the. Yeah. the. the. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. that. that. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is always my fear of
someone walking up and glassing me in the back of the head after I've said
something to them. No, oh because you say stuff to people. Yeah I will say stuff to people.
Maybe don't. Although like you're really hard to start a fight with in a bar,
you know. I almost most people won't. I almost started shit with the tho food the tho- I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi thi thi thi tho thi thi tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi thi the. I'm the. I'm thi thi thi thi thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I thi. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I was the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm theeeeea. I'm theea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I've thea. I'm thea. I'm thea. I'm the. Whole Foods the other day because he was on his phone interacting with the person behind the register. That's so rude. And he was
wearing Grateful Dead shorts so there was just like multiple knocks against him.
Wait what are great like shorts that had the bears on them? Oh no. Said
Grateful Dead the their their legs? No they did. Yeah they did. They did. They did.
They probably listen to the show. And they probably. They probably. not a deadhead, not a fan.
You don't like all that jamming?
Just jamming forever, just keep going, just have the song go and go and go.
Maybe you could just jam on it a little bit more.
Maybe let's just jam on it a little more.
Kyle Canain described jam bands as a bunch of stepdad who don't know how to end a song.
And it has never been more accurate. That is so true. It was very, very, very, very true.
But after the guy left, I went up and I apologize to the cashier
and I was like, I'm so sorry that people are weird to you.
Like, that sucks. I'm sure you have to deal with that.
What were you going to say to the phone?
Yeah. So I'm glad I'm glad I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't to didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't to didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn't I didn, I'm not here to, I'm not a cop.
You're not here to start shit. You're not the Whole Foods checkout line cop.
But you'd be great at that. It would be. I know. But also, get off your fucking phones if you're going to the aftermath of him doing a training montage
where he's like taking boxing lessons and learning and taking and buying a gun.
And buying a gun and practicing with it.
Yeah.
But he's got shot Sabrina, which is kind of, I feel like she deserves a merciful death.
Sure. You know, if nothing else, she's just badly mistaken.
Mm-hmm. Yeah, at the worst, she's insane. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. And I th. And insane people. And insane people. And insane people. And insane people. And insane people. And th th th th th th th th th thi th th thi th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi he he he he's like he's like he's like he's like hea hea hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. hea. heing heing hea. heing hea. Yeah, hea. Yeah, hea. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's like he's like he's like thi's like thi's like thi's like thi's like thi's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he's like he he the worst, yeah. Yeah, at the worst, she's insane.
Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And insane people deserve a merciful death too, I guess.
Yeah, for sure.
And then why do they not just shoot Leonard?
Hmm.
Yes, it would solve the problem, right?
You think?
Yeah.
So,
Spoiler, if you don't want the book spoiled for you, go ahead a minute.
I'm going to plug my ears and you can just say whatever it is and then nod to me when you're
done.
Oh, I want to read the book.
Okay.
Well, I'll skip it.
I won't say.
Because I can so hear you when I had my fingers in my ears. Yeah, I won't like, but a family member is killed, that, I saw that on Wikipedia. Okay, okay. Yeah.
And the theory was that like, Mnigh didn't want to do it because of who was killed.
Right.
I mean, yeah, that's a little outside the realm of reasonable for his movies.
Sure.
Although, eh, well, I guess I don't want to even say it. So they lock Leonard in the bathroom.
We hear the window break and they're like, oh no, he went out the window and they opened the door and the window wouldn't even fit my ass out of it, let alone Dave Batista.
The window is the size of a dinner plate. Yes, a big a watermelon. Dave Patisa's shoulders have to be 37 inches wide.
Yeah, they're probably wider than my kindergartner is tall.
Yeah, he is like jifuking.
He's a mammoth of a man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't fucking way is he fitting through that window and they're like, oh man.
And also, one shot into the bathtub, Andrew?
One? One. One. You have a gun. You had a ton of ammo in the the I saw it. So he fires once into the bathtub and then goes to pull the curtain and Leonard predictably
jumps out and tackles him to the ground and takes the gun.
And then they see on the TV that planes are falling out of the sky.
Fucking love the idea that you can hear people screaming in a plane from the ground. How dare you M. Knight? Oh no! It's literally women being
like, help! It's like, you don't hear things inside a plane. Maybe it was someone on
the ground yelling and what would they do to help on the ground? Catch it!
They're running around with one of those big firemen tarps like trampiline style. So Leonard says
all of humanity has been judged and he slits his throat. Well first he he verbatim
does the speech that the woman is doing on the news. Right. And they're like how
the fuck do you know that you knew this was going to happen? Which just makes
you think it's a DVD. Exactly like thatthey didn't even check. But you see that Eric is now like on board?
Yeah, he believes it. And you're not sure if it's his personality because he's clearly
like the softer of the two. Or the concussion. Or the concussion. Yeah. And yes, Leonard says
all of humanity has been judged and slits his own throat. They've sent WEN up to a tree house.
Right.
Yeah.
Which they leave for a really long time even though it's
thundering outside and lightning.
Yeah.
And PAMON might be up there.
And what now?
You know, the demon from a reditary.
Yeah, they fucking love tree houses.
Demons do. So, Eric. So, Eric. E Eric Eric Eric. E Eric Eric Eric Eric Eric Eric. E E E E E, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, Eric, th, th, th is like, th is like, thian, thian, thian, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, is like, hey, you know what, I believe them.
I saw somebody in the light.
So why don't you go ahead and kill me?
Yeah.
And then you guys can go and do your thing.
Just like, do it now while I'm thinking of all this love and I feel, and it's like,
oh my God.
And he says it was this really sweet story about what he thinks will happen to when. This is what he's imagining her life will be like.
It's really beautiful.
And we see like a flash forward of Daddy Andrew with like a gray beard and a beautiful
adult daughter.
He looks like he is the before for a Just for Men.
Yes, where it's like you're smoking, but wouldn't you be a little more smoking
if you didn't look so old?
I just keep threatening to do the just-for-men thing on my beard.
So I'm just like suddenly one time my beard was dark brown and it would be like, what the
fuck?
Would you do anything with your hair or would you go for just the dark beard?
I love this Hollywood Hogan era. And we join the new world, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, the the thu thu, thu, thu, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu, the the thu, thin, thin, thin, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu. thu thi thi, thi, thi, thiuck it. So, they kill Eric, or Andrew kills Eric.
Yeah, it's awful.
Yeah.
He goes and gets when out of the tree house.
Yeah, and she's like, did Daddy Eric save them all?
Like she's been absorbing all of this and understands all of this and it's just...
And the cabin is burning behind them as they're walking away.
They find a truck, they go to a truck stop.
But in the truck is all the memorabilia of the people who had come there to kill them.
So there's a picture of Adrian with her son.
And I forget what else is important.
Oh, like, like the, the, the, and the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,. Yeah, it's like the, the, the, and the like whatever,
IT department or whatever,
Redmond worked for and like, you know, and it was just like,
ah, yes, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine, fine,
fine, thii, calm down. Yes, you don't have to pull it every heart string you see. But also like so they go to the
the rest stop and like everything the lightning kind of stops and the
fire start to go out and they're driving away and everything's better and
they save the world. And yeah you see on the TV that the COVID deaths or
whatever it is are starting to stop and... Right. Yeah. And
what I like about the book is that like you're left in this very ambiguous
space. Yeah. You end with the characters you end with and you have to figure out
what you think happened. Right. And I think that's a really interesting way to end
a story.
Definitely.
This is a little heavy-handed on the It Was Real, there was an apocalyptic side of it.
Right, like it becomes cavern in the woods.
Yes, and I the whole time I'm thinking like, yes, cabin in the woods ending.
Let humanity die, we've fucked up so bad.
Yeah. Let some other single-celled organism take billions of
years to try again. We're done. That whole idea that eventual God would accept
one sacrifice made in love and save all of humanity. Right. Right. It's just
it's not, for me, it's not a good way to end a movie. Right.
Like the God, I mean, is it religious?
It's God?
Because they're also talking about them being the four-horsemen of the apocalypse, but they
name them as, um, malice, nurturing, healing and guidance.
Not what the four-horsmen of the, death, destruction, famine, and pestilence.
Pestilins.
Yeah. Like you can't just say everything is the forehorsmen of the apocalypse. They're the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Peanut butter, jelly, bread, my mouth.
Ketch up, mustard, relish, ranch dressing.
Would have said mayonnaise.
I know you would have.
That's because you're not a answer.
Exactly.
My last note is, oh, I got livid.
Because they get into the truck to drive away and the KC and the Sunshine Band song starts playing.
And they have this tug of war of turning it on and turning it off and turning it on again.
But not, either of them not looking really sure whether they want to hear it or not.
Yeah, and I was also like, fuck you M-Night. That sucks. Yeah, that sucks. Like, that really pissed me off.
I, at the end of the movie, I was like, did he find Jesus?
Because at the end, it feels like the whole thing is about Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I really don't like that, dying for all our sins.
My final note. If I wanted to watch that watch it every good Friday, after we were let out of our rooms. We had to stay in there from 12 to 3 because that's when Jesus was on the cross.
Is it right, man, but okay.
Then we had to watch a four-hour move after staying in our rooms for three hours, yeah.
It's a big day.
Cult are weird.
Cults are weird.
And who on their bingo card have the Dolly Lama tell like a child to suck his tongue?
What the fuck was that?
I don't know.
Get that man out of here.
But 2023, y'all keep getting weirder.
Seriously, it's only April.
What will happen by December?
Hopefully an apocalypse. I don't want we've had what, 146 match shootings.
I want to talk about it?
Nope.
My final note is note 99, all the subtlety of a sledgehammer.
It sure is.
Katie.
Alan.
Let's go to the ratings phase.
Okay. I liked it, but it's heavy-handed.
And I think I liked it because I like the concept, which was created by another piece of media,
and I thought all the acting was really good, really watchable, just like very engrossing.
And I do think, I mean, I think we've talked about, well, I sometimes think M-Night's a good director,
and you don't, or is it that you do?
No, I sometimes too. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, we we we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do. Yeah, to. Yeah, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. Yeah, to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. Yeah, to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. I sometimes think M. Knight's a good director and you don't, or is it that you do? No, I sometimes too.
But you do agree on this one.
That I think he, that, the, that, these characters are not just one dimensional.
Sure. You know, I think they're well flushed out.
And I think it's done to great effect and is under two hours. So whether that's because the hard that that's that's that's that's that's because the hard that's because that's because the hard that's because the hard the hard that's because the hard that's because the hard the hard, that's because the hard, that's because th. that's because that's because that's because th. that's because the hard, thi. that's because that's that's that's that's that's that's that he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's, he's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's th. He's th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that, he's that for him by the book, by the author,
but I honestly, I even enjoyed, I don't like the ending, but I enjoy this a whole lot more than most of his other movie.
I'm gonna give it, what was last week, Stoker, when I give that seven?
Let me give this a seven as well.
Okay. Yeah. It's been like a medium-high on the stove top for me this week.
It's neither a long or a quick cook. You're in there for a little while. Yeah, you're sauteing
some broccoli. Yeah, I think like he did some really masterful things that like, you have to change
stuff going from one media to another. Sure. And going from book to film, you need to establish these things.
I think he did a, like, a, a genius job of like establishing that this family loved each other.
Yeah. Like you had no doubt whatsoever that these three people loved each other.
And you got fleshed out the four people that came into the house.
Yeah. Like felt like fully
rounded human beings.
They felt so reluctant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was really good.
Really well done.
I would say three quarters of this movie are great.
And then he sucked it at the end and just fucking tanked the movie for me.
I'm going to give it a five. Oh wow. I'm going to say if you
never have never read the book, you're going to get a much more enjoyable experience out of this.
I know that I'm being a pissy boy about this. I've stated that at the beginning.
You're just a book boy and that's okay. Yeah, yeah. It's good to be a book boy. I think for you definitely I would recommend Paul Tremblay's head full of ghosts.
Okay. It's this really wonderful story about a family and maybe a possession.
It's really well done. I'm on vacation next week so I'm going to meet it.
Shit. Shit. We texted to me because I already forgot what you said. Yeah. Thank you.
Yeah. But yeah. So five. Yeah. Do you think that you would have liked this movie more if anyone else had directed it, but everything else was the same?
Like, is the M-Night Shambalon stink on it for you?
No, I, I, I, I, I mean, can you be fair to the man?
That's what I'm saying, because I don't think that I can.
I don't know if I can, but I don't, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, like, like, like, like, th, th, like, th, like, like, th, thought I was going to. Me too.
And I do, like he really has these moments of like,
fuck you are really good at the craft of filmmaking.
Yeah, he can make a movie.
He builds tension, like nobody's business.
It's true.
You think back to the village, which I think is a fantastic movie until the final quarter of it, it kind of shits the bed for me.
But like, the tension in that film is palpable.
And in this film, it was super tense.
Six cents, my god.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I just think he's a ding dong.
I just think he's a bit of a ding-do.
Yeah.
And it's interesting because this movie doesn't have a twi, to, to say, can we stop to take a moment to appreciate him for not trying
to like shoehorn something in?
Yeah.
Because I felt like he did okay and old with like having a reveal but not a twist.
Sure.
Sure.
But uh, nothing in this.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I definitely would have preferred the ambiguous ending to thi. the the the the the the the thi, the, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, I thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th.. Like, but I also understand that like
ambiguity does not play well with mass audiences. No, because people are stupid.
They would shit wrapped up for them. I want to wrap up for them. And I want to make a
sequel about it. What do you want to do next week, Alan? Well, Katie, let's
take a little trip back to a favorite year of mine and yours, 1980 and 7. The year I turned three. The year my cousin Vicky was born.
Also how I mark those years. Yes. In the future is a 13 year old I will think
about this three year old that will be one of my best friends on her.
And the birth of her cousin Vicky. We're going to do the Toby Hooper film Funhouse. I'm excited. Yeah, we haven't done
a Toby Hooper in a while. No. No. We've been doing a lot of new movies lately. We were just talked
about doing Insidious 3 because German Moroni is in it and then I was like, no, we need to step away from this. That's not a reason to do a thing. No it isn't. It's not a reason to give James Wanne a the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to to to to to to to to to the to to the to the to to to to the to to to the to to the the the the thoom-A to the to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thii thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-a thi-s. thi-s. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom. th. th. too away from this. That's not a reason to do a thing. No it isn't. It's not a reason to give James Wan a penny of your money. But we'll probably do in a couple weeks, so.
We still get a lot of paranormal activities to get through too. There's still a lot of those
we haven't touched on. So many pairs of normal active titties that we need to look at. I will tell you this. We have we have we have this, we have th. We have th. We have not th. We have not th. We have not th th th th th th th th th th th th the you thi the you thi thi the the the. We've not the. We've not thi. We've not thi. thi, we'll thi, we'll thi, we'll thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr-n. to to to to to to to to to to to to to theean. to to to thean. thean. the. the. the active titties that we've gone down. That's a lie. What? I think. Remember that one where the whole kitchen falls
down when the woman walks in? That was spooky. That was spooky. But that's not
what we're doing. We're doing Fun House. So come back for Fun House. Yeah we're
we're on the we're on the internet. You can find us, Patrion, Instagram, Twitter, whatever. What ever?
I'm tired of talking.
Katie, yeah.
Thank you so much for being a part of another episode of Wearwulf Ambulance.
Alan, thank you so much for having me here as a guest on my own show.
Thank you all for listening to another episode of Wearwulf Ambulance,
where I, Alan, host Katie is the co-host of a show. I think the heat's getting to your head. I think your brain is scrambled.
Is my purple hairband too tight?
It's pink.
It's pink.
It's pink.
Let's get this party started, pink.
Pump up the jams.
Pump it up.
Belgian.
Belgian.
Get your booty on the floor tonight, make my day.
I feel like that's a song Lucy might enjoy.
I played it for and she sat on the floor and was like my booty's on the floor.
I was like speaking of being wrong about Technotronic.
Okay. Bye. Maniacs are not dead pools, civeties sight inside the pool.
No way to wait to make the lends to fulfill reviews.
Get the glassed in the face.
Killing the clouds and laugh the face.
Can't live in his face. Up here in the basket case. Up face. Can him live in every space.
A few times are cast in case.
Please make I continue to break.
E&T.
Marlowe and comedy reviews.
Hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen King.
E.T.
We live deliciously bad temple tre, obese, recently gone today.
A paranormal life continues from Mr. Rogers to say.
EFT, EFT.
EFT.