Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 426- The Funhouse (1981)

Episode Date: May 1, 2023

In this week's episode, we're digging into some post-"Texas Chainsaw Massacre," pre-"Poltergeist" Tobe Hooper in the 1981 slasher "The Funhouse." Special topics of conversation include: some minor soc...ietal red flags like teens dating people in their 30s and allowing a stranger to wash your child (?!), utterly amazing 1980s slang that perhaps didn't catch on, the Delaware state fair, terrible last words, and a very fun AMA with some listeners! We've never discussed "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" because it's a perfect movie and there's not much to be funny about, but we HAVE discussed its raucous sequel "Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2" in Episode 56, along with "Poltergeist" in Episode 212.  The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance because it's FAST 9 MONTH, BABY! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Alan. GATTIEFFER GATTY I was worried I wouldn't have much to say about this movie. A word. So I put out a call for questions on the internet. BINIPBOOBBBB-Dibbib-Boop-B-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Bud-Buh-call. Call.
Starting point is 00:00:26 That's it. That's me calling for questions. I am going to ask you this one from Necro Library. Would you rather always feel like someone is following you, but no one is? Yeah. Or always feel like someone is watching you, even though no one is. Katie, you know where I have to go with this one right? The Rockwell? I gotta go Rockwell all day. But it's not to me. Why is he British though? He's not, is he? No. And I have no privacy. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:00:58 But imagine if you had enough cachet and sway for your father being a music producer. Right. That you could get Michael Jackson at the peak of being Michael Jackson at for your father being a music producer. Right. That you could get Michael Jackson at the peak of being Michael Jackson. To be your backup singer. To get your hook. To get your hook. You're just gonna come in here and be, uh, I don't know, the lady who did ghetto superstar.
Starting point is 00:01:19 I don't remember her name, unfortunately. Yeah, it was Maya. I liked Maya. Name another song by Maya. Not right now. Someone is right now. Also, RIP Pras. Yeah, he didn't die. No, but he just turned to that guy. He's going to jail. Someone is always watching me, so this is hard for me to answer. No privacy, no dignity, no privacy, no dignity. That is so weird. It is so weird. I started sitting in the bathroom going,
Starting point is 00:01:52 what do we want? Privacy, when do we want it? Now. I'm worried that you're just encouraging this behavior. Oh yeah. Everything I do, I do, I do to myself. I just realized I'm wearing three different camos currently. You know, I wasn't going to bring it up, but all I can see of you is your legs. Can I ask you one more AMA? We can get back to more later?
Starting point is 00:02:15 Yeah, 100%. This is from, is George Pickens really him? How do you feel what the buck goes when in the upcoming World Series? Katie I gotta tell you something. Tell me something. The way that Hinky is coming in on the bottom of the ninth, the two outs and one run, I think we're going to knock it out of the park. I think. Two else in one run, as they say. I think we're going to get a lot of homers, a lot of diggers. A lot forward to some oiled gloves and a lot of cleats. What do you think? Uh, I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:02:48 I'm so happy I could dance. We're gonna win the World Series. Are they doing well? They are 18 and 8. They are the best team in the national league right now. Second best team in baseball. They're not going to win the World Series. They're going to win the World Series. Why would you say this to me? This is what happens. Because I've seen you crestfallen, nay, heartbroken so many times over this.
Starting point is 00:03:12 They do so well at the beginning of a season. And then they're just like, oh, it's a second half of the season? Oh, we're the poo, they brought, they brought, they brought, they brought, they brought Cutch. Yeah, there you go. You're gonna do better with Cutch? They just signed Brian Reynolds to an eight year, a hundred and seven million dollar contract. Yes, he left.
Starting point is 00:03:34 Buhh, theyn' thin'a. Not probably Vancouver. Somewhere in Canada. Eh. Eh. Eh, who knows? Anyway, you want to talk about a Toby Hooper movie? What is it? It's called Fun House. Not from 1987, as we once believed. But 1981.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So hot off the heels of Texas Chainsaw Masker. Wait, what's this now? I've not heard of it. Eatin alive, pre-Poultergeist. Right. And I want to get this out of the way right at the beginning before we go into this movie that I get the feeling that you didn't really enjoy too much. Fuck everybody who says he did not direct Poltergeist. Who says that? Dickheads. They'd say They say this. Skelberg did. They say th. They say th. They say th. They say th. F. F. F. They say th. F. F. F. F. F. F. They say th. F. F. F. F. F. S, th. S, th. S, th. F. S, th. F. S, th. S, I. F. S, I th. S, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. I'm thi. I'm th. I'm th.ist in this movie visually that like you're a Dildo if you've, you just haven't watched Toby Hooper movies.
Starting point is 00:04:31 You're a Dildo. You're a Dildo. You're a Dildo. Period. This movie, though, okay, first I gotta be honest with you. I got up at 545 this morning to watch this movie. Prime time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P time. P. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiol-I just just just just just just tho, tho, tho, th. th. I just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. this movie. Prime time, Prime Watch to sit down and watch a horror movie. And I was so tired that it all feels like a bit of a fever dream now. Oh yeah, yeah. I may have been like in and out. Yeah. Yeah. Also thank you for doing that. Oh my services are very very, very... Thank you for your service.
Starting point is 00:04:59 Thank me for my service. This podcast is all about stolen valor. Absolutely. There's nothing I like more than stolen valor. I'm like a president that gets a silver heart from a wounded veteran and just takes it. Yeah, it's mine now. Just our purple heart, whatever one they get. Silver star, purple heart? They're both things. Nick Green Clovers.
Starting point is 00:05:23 That's the box of lucky charms so this is fun house is a movie about a carnival right mm-hmm it's got real Charles band vibes with those animatronics oh my god right this is like what I wanted to be watching when I asked to do shrunken heads no sure where shrunken heads fell short although there are some uncomfortable titties in this movie too yeah from a child she's a young child she's a young I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. I th. I th. Oh I th. Oh I th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. Oh th. th. the the. th. th. th. th. th. th. this is a this is a this this this this this this this this this this th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. uncomfortable titties in this movie too. Yeah, from the child. She's a young, she's a young, I mean, she's probably 18, right? Probably? She's probably 18.
Starting point is 00:05:52 Probably. Hold on, I'm going to do a quick check here. Uh, not Cooper Huckabee, their. Uh, not Cooper Huckabee. He's like Johnny football hero. You see Cooper Huckabee in the hall. You tell him you played a great game, tell him you liked his article in the newspaper. And I'm positive that's the only roles he've ever had. Yeah. It's like, also he is related to former Senator Huckabin. Governor? One of the two. He's former ding dong. Cooper Huckabby. Oh, he's in Getties. I. I. I. I. I. I the the the the the the the the thieie. I thie. I the thie. I thie. still ding dong. Cooper Huckabee. I did a... Oh he's in Gettysburg. I was going to say there's a Gettysburg connection. He plays the spy in Gettysburg. Okay. I don't know. I don't remember a lot of that movie and I just watched it recently.
Starting point is 00:06:38 I can't believe he did that honestly. So yeah we get these weird Marionette credits which are not a thing that I associate with carnivals. No, the very garish puppets. Yeah, yeah, and creepy, scary. The one that's like half its faces missing and it's just rubbing on a rose. What were you doing? What are you doing with that puppet? And then we get just titties right out of the gate.
Starting point is 00:07:04 Yeah. Oh, hold on. Useful feet. Useful feet. And I was like, good on you, Tovey. 1981, get them titties in there. Get them early, get them often. Get them early, get them off.
Starting point is 00:07:16 But that's the only time. Same titties. Same titties. Yeah, you may have just had titty blindness because you've already seen them titties. They're not new titties. I only like new titties. Or I was asleep. My first note is, man, kids are so much cooler in the 80s. You think so? This kid's room that was dressed by adults. Frankensteinstein poster. Weapons just hung on the wall with frogs and spiders hung next to him. Was it the little boys room? Yeah. He was like seven. They're all fake weapons. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Oh man, come on, it was great. He's also, they're doing the Michael Myers mask shot, which I was not, you're only three years out. I don't think you can do this. I think it was like, ah, I'm taking a jab at John Carverder. You think so. This is funny. You think he thought it was a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because it can amusially go, in a measurably. It immediately goes into a psycho ref. So it's like, this is funny. You're taking
Starting point is 00:08:26 the two biggest slasher things at the time and like making a funny ha out of it. And also having like a seven-year-old boy see his sister as you would say full fronny. No I would not say full penny. Full penny. No I would not say full penny. Is a quick way of saying full penetration. Full Frunny. Funny. It was weird.
Starting point is 00:08:48 It was weird. It was weird. Yeah. I have a note that says, this feels like a nod to Halloween. Of course it did you dumb, dumb. It's Toby Hooper dancing across the screen like, Halloween. Anything can happen on Halloween. Did you like that Joey has a sign in his room that's in calligraphy, says Bless This Mess?
Starting point is 00:09:12 No, I did not notice that, but I like that quite a bit. Yeah. So he stabs his sister with a fake knife and the tum tum while her boobs are on the screen. And then she says, I'm gonna get you, you're not gonna know when I'm going to get you, but I will get even with you. Yeah. And this guy, this come back to haunt her. Does it? Yeah. In what way? Because he could have told her his parents that she was drafted inside the Funhouse and didn't because he remembered that she said.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to be to be told, told, told, told, thi, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. the. the. the. the. thi. to to to to to to to to to th gonna get even with you. That's why he remembers it later. Yeah. That was a little unclear to me. Okay, okay. You're a little sleepy, a little sleepy. But also that's such a dumb conceit.
Starting point is 00:09:51 It's just like the whole conceit is that Joey is a shithead. Yeah, it is. I loved him. As a younger brother, we are shitheads. your birth rate. Yeah, yeah. So this is Amy. Ugh, Amy. You don't like Amy? No, I loved Amy, but I like, she's so put upon. She's very angsty. She's very angsty. She's obviously not sleeping well. She's got the little bags under her eyes. As a man who has bags on her eyes, I get it, Amy, I get it. Everyone's tired out here, Amy. But she has to go on a date with arguably the worst man to go on a date with. Uh, 30-year-old man named Buzz? Buzz. Buz. And he's who's out there blowing his horn? Yeah. Yeah, Buzz.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Man, man. What are we to make of Buzz? That he's a scumbag? Okay. That's the end of the movie. At the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. thus, thus, thus, thus, thus, thi thi, thi, thi- th- th- th- th- th- th- th- th-. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's the the the the the the the the the the th. It's the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the th. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very th. It's very. It's very. It keeps getting older. We're told he works at a filling station. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, Amy's mom is so, he's either drunk or disgusted, I'm not sure which. I think Column A Cullabee. When she fell up at the carnival later, I was like, this woman is,
Starting point is 00:11:17 did anyone tell the actor that? She's daydrunk! Look, we didn't get this little fucker home. Oh yeah, this little piece of shit. That's a little, he interrupted mommy's three fingers time, you know what I mean? Forget about your old man. He's just trying to bum your evening. All right, Buzz, grow up. You're a grown man. I feel like this movie was trying to invent slang, which I was really into, because later on Amy says to Liz, fuck up. Fuck up, I love that, wrote a down thought about putting it on a t-shirt. And Buzz is immediately, this is their first date.
Starting point is 00:11:55 Yes. Yes. the beginning of the movie. Right. And he's immediately like caressing her cheek. No touch the face of someone you've known for 20 years. Don't touch anyone's face. I don't like to have my face toub's toub. No taken.
Starting point is 00:12:09 I'll stop doing that greeting where I do the face off. Face off. Face waterfall, as I think one of our listeners called it. Don't touch people's faces! It's repulsive to me. Just a little back of the knuckle right on the cheek. Ooh, God! What am I a baby looking for a nipple? Get out of here with that shit! Amy was just trying to latch? He has a weak latch.
Starting point is 00:12:35 But yeah, he's immediately like, uh, fuck your dad. Let's go to fucking date. You don't know my dad. He's like like, you're right, I don't know your dad and now my character will change. What? So they pick up Liz and Richie, and then they're all getting high in the car. Weed in an 80s movie, you know what's going to happen. Yeah, everyone's gonna die. They're gonna get addicted. I did like that Amy. A they they they they they th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to, th. th. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooo. tho. the.took a couple of puffs. Almost said blows, that's not what it is. No, that's good, you're doing well. Remember when you smoked weed recently?
Starting point is 00:13:11 You did a great job. Like a big boy. And he tells a, uh, Buzz tells a dancing duck joke. Yeah. I just wrote this grown man needs grown friends. I don't know. And he's like, Amy doesn't laugh because it's not a funny joke. It's a bullshit joke. Yeah, and he's like, no, but see the duck its feet are getting hot on the hot play. That's why it's dancing.
Starting point is 00:13:36 You get it, Amy? You get it? And then Liz, leans someone goes, stop being such a downer. Yeah, Liz is the best the best the best the best the best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best best Yeah, Liz is the best. She lives when I grow up. You're never going to get fingered on this bench seat if you don't get your shit together. Everybody wants to get fingered on the bench seat by a 30-year-old man named Buzz. Think of his manual dexterity. Yeah. Look, he's fingered a lot of young girls.
Starting point is 00:14:00 He knows what he's doing. Also, we're told it's like the middle of the night, I don't know why, but they're at this carnival and there's people with their kids. It's like 11 p.m. How can this be? How late is a carnival open? I don't know. Like 8 p. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm going to say 10.
Starting point is 00:14:21 All right. I'm gonna say 10. I'm gonna say 10 P. 10 P. We should go to the Big Butler County Fair this summer, by the way. Oh, I like this. They have games where you can win knives. You know on town. It's like a ring toss, if you toss it around a knife, you get the knife. Rob, one in one year. No, no way. Does they still have the the coolest. Anyway, they're all trying to get a lick of that brass ring.
Starting point is 00:14:48 Do you notice that? So weird. I love when they pull into the parking lot and everyone is like wild out for this one parking space and there's 27 parking spaces around it that are closer. Carnivals are wild. And then they're getting out of the car and buzz is like, hey man, don't be a buzzkill. You don't want to make this a bad night for Richie and Liz, right? So why don't you just pick it up a little bit? I mean, she does need to pick it up a little bit.
Starting point is 00:15:16 Does she? This guy's a dud! Yeah, but she's into him. It's true. So, yes. Or is it just like in any port in the storm situation? She's like, this is Saturday, let's get through this. Let's just get fingered and go home. Fuck up! Put on your blast face. And Richie's like, ah, Buzz is best.
Starting point is 00:15:39 He's so smart and funny and cute. Richie loves Buzz. And Liz goes, you're such a bad judge of character when you're high. He is, he's a bad judge of character period. We meet a woman who is just walking around saying things like God is watching you, he hears everything. I strictly referred to her as Baba Yaga in my notes. Yes, she absolutely is.
Starting point is 00:16:04 And I also decided that that is the proaga in my notes. Yes, she absolutely is. And I also decided that that is the pro move in a bathroom. If you want to clear a bathroom out, just walk in, hunched and go, God is watching you! And then sit down on the commode and yell, God is watching you out of a closed stall. He hears everything and then just leave like a wet nasty fart. To hear that God? The implication of course here is that God's gonna watch them fuck. Yeah, yeah, God's because they're in the bathroom talking about how like you know she needs to lose her V to this
Starting point is 00:16:34 Dildo. Yeah. And you know who Liz describes as both a hunk and a pistol. Yeah, he's a pistol. He's a pistol. What does that mean? Is that a good thing? Yeah, oh he's not. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, they. they. they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, the the the they. Yeah, they. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. th. the the thi's the thi. Yeah, the the thi. Yeah, the the the the the thi. Yeah. He's a pistol. What does that mean? Is that a good thing? Yeah. Yeah. He's not though. Probably a little hunky. Oh for sure. He's got like good like 70s quarterback vibes. He looks like a baby David Ducovenny in a lot of ways. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I think he was big on like guest starring on like little house on the prairie and like Dallas and shit like that and just like show up as a honk. Be the the hunky guy the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the hunk the hunk the hunk the the the the the he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he's he's he's he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's he's he's not. Yeah. Yeah, he's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's not. He's he's he's he's he's he he he like Dallas and shit like that and just like show up as a honk. Be the hunky guy. Uh, when Joey's walking to the carnival on his own, wearing a jacket that I definitely owned as a child. Describe it to me? It's like baseball, the jacket. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:20 It's got like two patches on the front and four on the back and the four on the back are in the places where the bases would be on the diamonds. I think baby Stephen Dorf is wearing it in the gate too and you were like had that jacket Yeah, yeah, and it says like home plate baseball Pirates World Series 2023 home run home run go Pirates go back. But anyway, he's walking to the to the the carnival because he sneaks out of the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ths thusususususususususususususususususususususususususususususus teysysysysysysysysysysysys the the the the the the the the the th the the's, he's walking to the carnival because he sneaks out of the house because he rules. And everybody else in this movie sucks except for Joey. Yeah, that's fair. And he's walking and this old man pulls over and goes, hey kid, what are you doing out here?
Starting point is 00:17:57 And then points a gun at him and starts laughing. Yes, I was like, no wonder the dad is so worried about his baby girl going out, this town is a nightmare. Dog, that was me growing up. That kind of shit happened all the time. Really? I have definitely had guns pointed out me for random strangers for sure. Why? What do you do it?
Starting point is 00:18:15 Because it was the 70s and 80s, man, we were wiling out. Seriously. Well, this carnival has something cool, which is a a a a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I. I. I, th. I. I, th. I. I is, th. th. tha. t. t t t t t toge. tog. t tog. t tog. t tog. t t toge. togu. Have you ever been to a carnival that had a strip club? Yes. Where? The Delaware State Fair in like, probably in like 84 or 85. And I remember because my mom was making fun of me because I was just like, aga, aga, aga, a, a, ga, because they had like the Hucci-couchy Show tent. Yeah. And it was just like drawings of like half naked women all over this tent at a Delaware State Fair. We're just there to for some fucking corn dogs. Corn dogs see a weird deer combats your business.
Starting point is 00:18:53 Demolition derby and out. Yeah, but now you get to see some middle-aged woman thrusting her puss at you. Wow, you went there. What are they doing Katie? They're thrusting their pusses p. They're like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like like this like this like this like this like this like thing like thing like thing like thing like thing like this. thing like thing? They're thrusting their pusses at you. They're just like, eh? You like this? Ah, ah, ah. The face how it just made it me. We'll be burned into my head forever. That's the face. They were not happy about what they were doing.
Starting point is 00:19:18 No. They're, it's, it's, no. It was like, I, I, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, the. It's, it's, it's, it's, ittrying to move something across the table without getting up. Ah, ah! My hands are full. Anyway, okay, that's a thing then. It has another cool thing though. Mutated animals? Yeah, there's like a baby in a jar and... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:44 The cow with two faces. Uh-huh. What's going on there? It's just nature. Okay. Nature does weird things. Yeah. A cow with like a severe cleft palate or something.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Yeah, it was not. It was not. No, it wasn't a pick me up. I go for it to carnivals for pick me ups. Sure. I would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would would much much much much much much much much the s s s s s s I would the s s I would the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. I would th. th. I th. tho. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the th. the the the tho. the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. up. I go for to carnivals for pick me up so I'm being that is with you. I would much rather see the skeleton had to stop myself from saying Skellington, the skeleton of a weird animal and or baby. I don't need to see it in its suffering life. No. That's gonna be like megglerzers. Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:20:27 So there's a carnival barker who's doing the alive, alive, alive thing for the animals. Yeah. Is he the same guy as at the end? Are there two of them? Or is he the same guy as the, come to the fun house? It's terrifying. He, he just has two jobs. And he's also the same guy that's like, hey, this isn't my sister, come to the hoochikoochie show.
Starting point is 00:20:52 Oh, wait, no, he's not the magician. Right, no, the magician, that was his daughter in the magician. No, he's three, that's what I thought. Which is funny and weird. But also they all seem to be happening simultaneously. So it's a bit confusing. But it's just three actors playing three, or one actor playing three different roles that are supposed to be three different distinct people. But he's very distinctive looking man and has a very distinctive voice. Yep. Alive, alive, alive.
Starting point is 00:21:18 All made by God, not by man. That is weird that it was his sister, was the stripper. My sister Mona. Yeah, I don't think it was really a sister. No, no, no, that's just the thing you say. Well, there's a lot of sister. Well, no, he's obsessed with the carnival. He really wants to go and she said she's... But he doesn't do anything fun there, he just follows, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, th. thi, thi, he, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. tho. thi. th. Well, no, he's obsessed with the carnival. He really wants to go. She says she's... He doesn't do anything fun there. He just follows the sister around. Are you joking?
Starting point is 00:21:49 I fell asleep. Maybe I fell asleep. He rides all of the rides. He does the the thrown. He does the thrown. He does the thrown. He's. Heaaaa. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. Hea. He's thinks. He's tries. He's tries. He's does. He's does. He's does. He's does. He's does. He's. He's. He's does. He's. He's. He's does. He's does. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thiiiii. thi. thoeses. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. thoee. thoe. He's. thoe. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooeaseaseease. He's. He's. He's. He's the. He's. He's. the Himalaya. I call that a matter horn. Okay, okay. It was the Himalaya played Skid Row exclusively from this Delaware Strait shows. There you go. Yeah. Oh man. All right well I'm I apologize for my what? What? I was waiting to see what you were going to say for you. I apologize for who I am. Hey. Hey. Being where wolf ambulance means never having to say I'm sorry. That's right. Um. um. the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the. the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. th. I. I. I. I. I was. S. I was. I was. I was. S. I. I. S. S. I. I. S. I. I was. S. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I am. Hey. Hey. Being wherewolf ambulance means never having to say, I'm sorry. That's right. What is the fascinating, like, Toby Hooper was obviously trying to say something about Frankenstein and this movie. Right, the making of a monster, right? I guess so, because it's got Bride of Frankenstein, they're watching that on TV. Love it. And I was like, you know what, I'm glad that I know a parents,
Starting point is 00:22:47 a couple parents who will watch Bride of Frankenstein when their daughter is going out on a date sometime. There you go. And you won't be blackout drunk ignoring her. Chant I be? When dad's like, hey, hey, hey, be careful at that thing. They killed a bunch of people and you're like, I'm fucking, ma'am, this fucking guy. Probably not gonna kill you though, are they? Well, can't be that lucky anyway.
Starting point is 00:23:12 Ouch. Who let my dad in here? There's all like the Frankenstein posters of the kids' room. and then we meet Frankenstein's monster is loading the Fun House people into their little carts. Yes, and there's the big poster Frankenstein in Joey's room as well. So what, yeah, I guess it's... They made a monster. Yeah. How did they make the monster though? Oh, he's just... He's born that way. Yeah, him and his brother. Which is the guy in the jar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the monster. Yeah. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the monster. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the monster. the monster. the brother tad which is the guy in the jar
Starting point is 00:23:45 okay yeah got it yeah tad they go to see mademoisel zima the the fortune teller yeah and they're being very rude to her very rude to her fuck these people yeah yeah they're high teen slash 30 somethings in 1981s she kicks the table over as like you must they're like you must the the that that th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that that that that the the the the the the. theeeeeeee. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I the. I th. I th. th. I th. I th. I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. th. the. they're high teen slash 30-somethings in 1981s. She kicks the table over as like, you must leave and then goes, I'll kick her fucking ass if you show up again. Yeah, and the ball rolls away from her and then back to her, which I liked a lot. She got the powers. Yeah. Oh, what's the, what's the, and then we see Buzz and Amy making out inexplicably. For what reason? Well, there is the scene where he's doing like the strongman thing, where you bang the thing that makes the bell ring.
Starting point is 00:24:29 You slam the hammer down on the thing of a jig. And like he does it and she goes, oh, oh, like she's so like, nothing wets my panties like a hammer to a bill. Like a man's brute force strength. That's like Andrew Tate saw this movie was like, that's it, I'm done. I found my thing. Women are wholly attractive to violence, I love it. They wiggle and they dance. I would agree that she is wiggling. I would not agree that she is dancing. You know, it's not gonna get me all horned up. It's like, hey, I'm wiggling for you.
Starting point is 00:25:11 My brother's talking about how I'm wiggling. Then there's just those women wearing the pasties are so old. It's so old. And just throwing it forward and it's so funny. Oh man. I mean, what was it like in an era before you were star for pornography? Were, yeah, I guess so. I guess so. And when I say they're so old, I mean, they're like my age, which is way too old to be dancing
Starting point is 00:25:40 with Pacey's on in public. Thrust in what the good Lord Gate right at somebody. Say it, your puss. Thrust in their puss at them. And then we see Frankenstein just now wandering around the carnival's left his position at the Fun House. What is his job? He's not operating the ride.
Starting point is 00:26:01 I don't know. And then, Ritchie has the dumbest idea. To spend the night in the Fun House. Yeah. Why would you? I don't know. I'd be like, nah, I'm good. It wouldn't be fun.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Hey, you ever get fingered in the back of a funhouse? Just ride it a couple times. It's for fingering. Funhouse, they're for fingering. Any dark ride, you're just getting fingered. Everybody knows this. Phrmph. So they go into the fun house.
Starting point is 00:26:35 And then they don't come back out of the fun house. No. Meanwhile Joey is just hiding somewhere in the carnival. Why is he doing this? Go home. It's plotting his revenge. I guess. He gets out of the carnival and goes and checks Buzz's car.
Starting point is 00:26:54 And it's still there. It's locked. He can't get into it. Yeah. Whatever. But yes, you're right. They are just making out here on the floor of the fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun. th. th. th. th. th. th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho. to, to, to, to, to, to, tho. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thooooo thoooo thoo toe toe toooooooooooooooooing. to to toe. to th are just making out here on the floor of the Fun House. For like no reason. Sorry. What do you mean? I mean gross? When you were
Starting point is 00:27:12 16 did you need a reason to make out? With a 30 year old man? No. Take that out of the equation. At least Richie and Liz seem to be of an age. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then we see through the slats and the floor that Frankenstein and Mademoiselle Zima are having some sort of encounter. She appears to be drinking gin directly from a bottle, which I love a lot. Go hard or go home. And then she gives Frankenstein an H.J. I think? I was pretty sleepy, but this woke me up a bit. It was like, it was like, it, it, it, it, it I think. I was pretty sleepy, but this woke me up a bit. It was like a, uh...
Starting point is 00:27:45 Oh, what's this now? I was like, is Frankenstein getting a hand job, I need to watch this? This is basically the pinnacle of my podcasting career. It's like a six tugs and done. Yeah, he comes way too quickly. Just Frankenstein while getting a handjob. And then she's like, hey, hey, man, after she consed, the thine, the thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, the thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thine, thin, thin, thin, I'm, thin, thin, thin, thine, thine, thine, thine, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, I, I, I, th. I, th. I, th. I, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a, is a th. I I I, is a, is a th. I's, is a th. I'm, is a th. I'm, is a th. I'm a th. I'm, is a th. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, is a th. I'm, hey, man, after she cons him out of a hundred bucks to do it. Yeah, no hand job is worth $100. No hand job. Just ride the fun house, someone will tug your weener. I don't care if you're like that guy in a mice and men who keeps his hand in a glove filled with Vaseline. Mm-hmm. You just get yourself on the fun house. But she also says like, yeah, you know what happens.
Starting point is 00:28:29 It's cool man, I'm going to take off. And he's like, no. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. He starts choking, mademoiselle Zima. And all the animatronics start going off? That's how, because he slams her into the fuse box. Oh, right. There's a lot of fuse boxes in this movie.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess it takes a lot of fuse boxes to run a carnival. Sure, as we all know. I mean, as I would guess. As the saying goes, it takes a lot. It takes a village to raise child. cannot have a carnival without blowing up a few fuse boxes. No, no, no. He's drooling a lot through that mask, which maybe be like, oh, how much drool is inside the mask.
Starting point is 00:29:10 I did not like that at all. No, not a good look. Yes, so he kills her. He kills her. He kills her. He kills the death. And I think it's Richie. He was like I'm gonna go make sure she's dead. Yeah. Why? Because he's a man with ulterior motives. Rich he is?
Starting point is 00:29:27 Yeah. Oh, because he steals the money. Yes. Because he saw that there was like hundreds and hundreds of dollars in a lockbox. Yeah. At this point I wrote, this movie is more than halfway over. It's very weirdly paced.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah. Because the second half is like is is is slow it down a bit. Yes, why? The first half was moving at his nail space. So yeah, Richie steals the money after they go downstairs to check to see if she's dead and try to get out. And then, but we don't see him steal it, it's just implied because he looks in the direction and goes like, ah. And then Joey sneaks back into the carnival. Can't stop, won't stop, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first thi. the first the first. the first. thi. the first. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the the the the the the the thi. the thi., ah, and then Joey sneaks back into the carnival, can't stop, won't stop. No parents. And then Frankenstein grows and goes and grabs the barker outside of the funhouse and brings him in. And I thought he was wearing ruffles but he's wearing a very gaudy tie. Yes. I thought it was just ruffles from the side. Does he say father? Yeah. And the Carnival Barker says, don't you ever call me that I can't stand the sound of your filthy
Starting point is 00:30:31 voice. Yeah, yeah. He said, the parenting in the 80s. We're all killing it. He says, we'll go and dump her someplace and blame it on the locals. And also I could have got you one of those 10 girls for 15 bucks. I th. I th. I tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I tie. I'd tie tie tie tie tie tie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'd. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. of those ten girls for 15 bucks. I could have got you a much cheaper handjob, son. Honestly, hand jobs or a dime a dozen. What? So dad finds out that the money's gone because he gets the hundred bucks out of between Madame Zenas boobs and takes it back to the the lockbox and there's no money in there. Right. And and there was a tray that the money was in but that's gone too. Did Richie shove that down his mask? It's definitely inside Richie's clothing somewhere.
Starting point is 00:31:19 So then we see the monster's face. Yeah, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the he he the he the he he the monster he the monster he that he that he that he th. that he th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is the monster is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th is th is th th is th is th is th. th is th. the is the is the is the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Yeah, he rips off the Frankenstein mask. And it underneath is sort of like a two-headed face, but not quite. Yeah, like it was split down the... It's like a... I just made banana bread and kind of like how it's splits down the middle. Yeah, yeah, let's still let the steam out. F steam. What do you think of it? What do you think of that? I love it. Yeah, I think it looks great. What did you think of it? It's better than the Frankenstein mask.
Starting point is 00:31:51 But I did like that the Frankenstein mask was like severely distorted? And you're like, why is that Frankenstein ma'a'a'a' that? has an eye for weird men. I think you really get weird men. Yeah. Weird men, I get you. Yeah, I see you. Signed Toby Hooper. They get caught by dropping a lighter between the slats of the floor. I thought it was chapstick at first I got very excited. I feel like that. I like you having chapstick in your shirt pocket. Well, you gotapped lips. Yeah, it's right to your face. Yeah, for your face. So, yeah, they drop it down out of Richie's dumb pocket. Because Richie, we saw him earlier, like, smoking addub, after everybody left, he was lighting it up and he puts the lighter back in his pocket. Right. Which reminds me of the one scene from the IT crowd when Moss has the great idea to put his cell phone in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:32:45 He's like, why didn't I ever think about doing this before? And then turns around to flush the toilet and his phone goes right into the toilet. You love that show. I wish we didn't have to hate Graham Lennan. What a dick? What a dick? I like that Moss is such a well-written character. It's so good, so funny. I like that someone on Twitter, like immediately as soon as like Granlinaham lost his checkmarked, like checkmarked account and just started saying stuff about how I haven't seen a woman since my wife left me and all this shit.
Starting point is 00:33:19 Yikes! Just going hard in the paint, it was very funny. Yeah, that's fair. One thing about this fun house, this dark ride, this scary, scary times, why are they so scared of ethnicity? Tell me more. Well, there's like the, I don't know, voodoo tribe people with bones in their noses and grass skirts? Yeah, you're going to have that in a dark ride from the 70s, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to th, to to th, to to th, to to the th, to to to th, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to to to to to to to to to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the tom, the tome, tome, thae, thaea, thauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu thae.e.e.e, thauuiiiia, thae, thabe people with bones in their noses and grass skirts. Yeah, you're gonna have that in a dark ride from the 70s for sure.
Starting point is 00:33:48 And then outside of the dark ride is a 10 foot tall Chinese man. Yeah, why is he so tall? And I was like, no I get it, y'all. Y'all were afraid of Chinese people because racism. I think it was kind of like, oh, other cultures. Spooky. What, but I was like, did anti, well, yeah, of course that is. I was gonna say did anti-Cheney sentiment last that long, but it's still going on.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah, for sure. Like, ugh. Gross. But it was just like, what are we doing here guys? What, and like, there's, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the outside, the, the outside, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th... Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to's, you're, the outside of your scary ride is a fat woman and a Chinese man. That's the terror of the world. That's a bus stop in every town in America. Relax.
Starting point is 00:34:35 That's people I probably want to hang out with. It's fine. How has this child not been busted outside the funhouse? He's just wandering around in plain sight. Well, Katie, he immediately gets busted outside the funhouse right after you wrote that note. Yep. Oh yeah, Barker gets him. I do have a note right here that says, Toby Hooper is great at building tension.
Starting point is 00:34:55 For sure. He like gets you in these quick cuts, and you're like kind of disoriented and then a thing thing but it's not when you think it's going to happen. He's just he was a master of his craft in that way. Yeah. The ride's power gets turned on while the kids are trying to run away from dad and monster man. Uh, sure. And so like now there's laughing and thunder whenever they're doing a thing. Sure. Um, and uh, uh, uh, my notes are real. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the. And, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ride's the ride's the right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th's th. th. thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi's thi thi thi's the ride the ride's the ride's the ride's the right. the the the a thing. Sure. And, uh, uh, uh... My notes are real messy here. Things like, sometimes I get to drinking too. And please don't let my last words be,
Starting point is 00:35:35 I pissed in my pants. I felt like that was one of the people who wrote this movie that happened to them. They pissed the fans. Yeah, well, they, like, they, like, they, they, like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, uh, uh, uh, uh, they, they, they, uh, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, uh, uh, uh, they, they, they, the, uh, the, uh, uh, the, uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh, uh, uh, uh, the, uh, the, the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my th-uh, my notes, my their, their, their, they. My the people who wrote this movie that happened to them. They pissed his pants? Yeah, well they, like, because Richie tells the story about when he was hiding from his brother to scare him, in his closet, and then got it in his head that his brother was waiting outside the closet to scare him. And then couldn't open the door and eventually had to wait for his parents to get home and was in there so so, he there so, he there so, he there so, and then, and then, and then, there so there so there so there so there so much there so much, there, there so much, there so much, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, there so, and then, there so, there, their, their, their, their, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, the the the the the the the the the the the their...... And, they. And, their, they. And, th. th. thi? And, toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa. toa, toa, toe. had to wait for his parents to get home and was in there so long that he pissed his pants. That is sort of specific. Yeah, like, oh, that happened to you.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Yeah. But it's like also like this weirdly... It's like the most human thing that happens in this movie. It's that little story. Yeah, it's Richie being vulnerable. Yeah, because no, Richie, Richie, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, yeah, yeah. Because no other characters are actual people in this movie. No, they're all just like these weird archetypes. Yeah. Um, so I have notes about how you just don't watch other people get jerked off.
Starting point is 00:36:35 You'll get killed. Don't do that. No, it's a bad look. But so, Rich gets a lassoed. Uh-huh. Okay. And slow-in, it's not good. It's. It's. It's th. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. It's not th. It's not th. It's not th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's a thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. It's like thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. the the the the the the the the the the thia. the thi. thi. thi. thhuh. Okay. In slow mo too. Yeah, it's not good. It like barely gets him. You're kind of like, take that one again. But then it takes them up. I'm sure that was take 35. That's why they slow to tell. They were like, we got this one. And he gets hanged. Yes, he does. And he gets does. He's a pinata. Then they later see him riding around on a cart which I liked a lot. Yeah. And then we cut to Joey getting woken up and his folks are there. Yes and there's a
Starting point is 00:37:17 carnival barker just touching their baby son so tenderly. And I thought don't let a strange carnival barker touch your baby son so today. Hey guy, hey guy? Where's where where where where where where where where where? Where's, we're the parents, we're the parents, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're the parents, we're the parents, we're his, we're his? their? their? their's? their's their's their's their their's their's their's their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their is. their is. their is. their is. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Hea. th. their is. th. and I thought don't let a strange carnival barker touch your baby's son. Hey guy? Hey guy? Where's parents? Stop washing our kid. Just don't touch my baby. He's just got a wet face cloth like touching the kid's face with it. Did he get dirty somehow? He seemed fine when we last saw him. I don't just kind of whisper, you're never going to be clean to the child. Yeah, and then cut back to Ritchie or Buzz being scared by Rishie's corpse coming around a corner on her cart and axing him in the head. Axing him in the head and then Liz falling through a trap door to a really unfortunate spot. She lands like right on top of a pipe. Yeah, with her neck at a bad angle. But she's okay, the Frankenstein creature's down there with her, but you know she's fine. She's got a knife. Yeah, that all goes really well. She's kind of seduces him.
Starting point is 00:38:13 Yeah, to try and save her life. Yeah. Just like I can H.J. to try and ha. to try and to try and to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho, tho. tho, thoo' tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the tho. tho. the the tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the the s him in the back? But I kind of feel like if you're gonna come, if you're gonna go in for that kind of monster, you best not miss. You need to hit him like 40 times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yes, that is, as we've stated 1,000 times in this podcast, if you're gonna kill him. the tryl and the today. Uh, drunk mom doesn't give a shit about shit. She, why did she even go?
Starting point is 00:38:45 Why did she just want a ride in the car? Somebody had to drive. Dad was too fucked up? Yeah. I do like the scene where Liz sees mom and dad loading Joey into the car, and she's screaming for them, but because she's at an exhaust fan, they can't hear her. Not that they would have cared even if they had, but, but, I was like, I'm glad that that fan's blowing in because I'm
Starting point is 00:39:07 terrified about your long 70s hair getting sucked into that fan. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But you're right at this point Joey could have said, yeah. My sister and her friends are right there. Yeah, he looks right at't wait to be an only child. I'd like pistachio ice cream when I get home. Yeah, so Liz gets killed. I like that they killed Liz off screen. Yeah, classy. I appreciated that. Classy. And I liked that when Amy and Buzz are trying to get out, they find a door and the carnival barkers steps out of one of the exhibits in the smookhouse. Yeah, I thought that was good. Yeah, and he's got a gun. Buzz seems like he should be able to take on this barker. Yeah, physically. But I guess he has carny strength?
Starting point is 00:39:55 Yeah, yeah, he's got marboral strength. I guess so. So he impales, Buzz impales the carnival barker on a sword that's just sticking out of the wall. Sir OSHA would like a word. A functioning sword should not be on this ride. No, just sticking out of a wall. And then he hugs Buzz into the sword. Yeah, it gives him a little gut stabbing. And then the monster shows up, but buzzes out of bullets.
Starting point is 00:40:24 Yeah, we hear a bunch of shooting. We're not, I wasn't sure who had the gun at that point. Yeah. But it's Buzz. And then Amy runs away. Yeah. And the doors open up. And all the animatronics are laughing.
Starting point is 00:40:36 And the lightning's going and there's a wind machine for some unknown reason. It's very, very windy. Except that it looks red. It does. And Buzz comes out like draped across the arms of a clown. The clown is like eight feet tall, though. So how did they get that body up there? Buzz is heavy. Oh, I mean, if you've got Carney strength, think about being like a whatever that guy is, whatever the monster man is. He's pretty short. He's pretty short. Yeah, that's all. Yeah, it
Starting point is 00:41:06 could have been true love with Buzz. It wasn't. This is where I have the note, you know, that monster actually did do a favor, Amy. Yeah, I mean a real favor. Katie, we're getting near to the end of this. Do you want to do another AMA? Sure. I had more to say than I thought. This is from Alex. What would you choose to wear for the rest of eternity as a ghost and what would be your ghost catchphrase? Ooh. Hmm. I'm really in the car heart phase of my life now. Interesting. They make comfy clothes. You're going down to Bass Pro shops to get that? Where do you buy in that? Yeah, the internet. I go to Carhart.com and find where I'm a Carhart clothes. I don't know, what would you wear for a turn-it.
Starting point is 00:41:52 You want to be comfortable or do you want to be cool? I mean, probably the same thing I'm wearing right now, which is the thing I'm up. You look very comfortable and cool. Thank you so much. And my ghost catch phrase would be that dog won't hunt. Because I've long wanted that to be my catchphrase and I can never figure out how to work it into my real persona. Sure. I was just rolling around like, that dog won't hunt. That dog won't hunt. What do you think? I like it? I think it would be confusing to the haunt head. Sure. That's my goal. Yeah. Like, what is she?
Starting point is 00:42:28 Would she raise hunting dogs? What is the thing? They'll never find me. Was she an assassin in that outfit? Why does she trust? She trusts. Like he's at a casual funeral that might have an exercise component. You never know if you might have to start jumping rope.
Starting point is 00:42:47 You got a catchphrase? I don't have a catch, I'm going to go with, I'm just keep with the outfit I have one right now, just a lot of clashing camouflage. Many camouflage's, sweat shorts. Oh, I should go get my camoswets and just really complete the look. And my catchphrase. I'm going to go with the classic the c a the c. A the c. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. I to go to go to go to go to go to go to get to get a to get a the cachach. I. I to get a catch to get a catch the the the catchet. I'm a catch to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I'm to go. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm a touch. I. I'm a touch. I'm a touch. I'm a touch. I'm a touch. I'm a touch. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm touch. I'm touche. I'm touche. I'm touch. And my catchphrase, I'm gonna go with a classic. Did I do that? Oh God, I think that's copywritten. Can you take that in the afterlife?
Starting point is 00:43:14 What are you gonna do? So me? I'm a ghost. Okay, fair enough. So, at this point, Amy is sneaking around in the basement of the haunted house, which has so many levels to it. Yeah, I thought she was out. She's not out, I don't know. No, she's in the guts, like, the mechanical guts of this fun ride.
Starting point is 00:43:36 And at this point, I realize that the animatronics are like, throwns, theyme. Some of the thinks, like, I there's just like a laugh track behind it, and you're kind of like, eh. Some of them are just like a mop head on a mask. One's a gorilla? One's a gorilla. Yeah. But there's also a giant gorilla head that the ride goes through. True. So then we get this great guts of the fun house. I like that bit
Starting point is 00:44:05 where he like is crashing and flailing through the window in the wall basically. Yeah. I like that a lot. And then he gets chewed up in the gears of the fun house. I want hydraulics in there. One thing Toby Hooper loves is a chain with a hook at the end of it. Sure, sure. Oh, that's right because he gets caught on the hook and dragged around the room and she just Waits for him. They're just going. Yeah The hooks and the chains are just going. It's scary. It is scary. And he electrocutes himself again another another fuse box. Yeah, he's screeching. And I was like this is why you don't disobey your parents. You know little shit. And then, uh, Amy gets outside, the fat lady's laughing at her. Yeah. The godlady's still out there, like, God's watching!
Starting point is 00:44:51 And Amy just wanders off the end. Holy fuck. Oh, Katie. Alan. You want to rate this thing? Yeah. Had you thi. . this thing. Yeah. Had you ever seen it before? Yes. And did you like it then? I liked it more this time.
Starting point is 00:45:05 Did you? Yeah. It's very middle of the road for me. It's pretty bland. I think there's a lot of good stuff in it but also that just the characters are nothing. Yeah. The scares are kind of nothing. Yeah. It's artfully done but like me. It's a five and a half for me dog. Yeah. It's like. It's a the the the the the the the the the the th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's a th. It's a th. It's like. It's like. It's a th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's like. It's a the the the the the the the the th. It's like a th. It's like a th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. the th., you? It's a five and a half for you dog. For me, dog. I like it. It's like a really generic slasher, but I like that it's also a monster movie at the same time. I feel like it sort of predates the reveal of Jason's face and and then you're Freddy's and all that stuff. You're getting a monster slasher. Isn't that, doesn't that happen at the end? Friday the 13th, which is part one, which is 19? Well you get the little kid like jumping out of the water.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Yeah, no, no, you're right. No, uh, listen, sir, this is the internet and I'll takes Manhattan where he's just a skull with worms coming out of his eyes. Bless his heart. I'm gonna give this strong six. Okay. Yeah. You could do worse. I felt like it was a really good, if you're watching the evolution of Toby Hooper,
Starting point is 00:46:18 the filmmaker. It's him using a little bit more Hollywood magic on stuff than he had, maybe in the past. Well, it probably had more money to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make to make taaaaaaaaaa. taa. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. tasks. tasks. tasks. tasks. the the tasks. thaexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their tas. tasks. tasks. I. tasks. I. I. I. I. I. I'm tasks. tasks. tasks. ta. taxininxinxinxinxinxinxinxinxinxinxinxinxen tasks. taxeaxxenea. ta. stuff than he had maybe in the past. Well, it probably had more money to make this movie. I mean, wasn't Texas Chainson Masker made for like 60 grand or something? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so yeah. So, yeah. Yeah, who cares?
Starting point is 00:46:35 Go about your business. Whatever. this is my last AMA for this episode. From Governor Little Taco Boy. Great. If th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, th. th. tho, tho, th. th, th, th, th, th. Well, th. Well, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. Well, I. Well, I. Well, th. Well, th. It. It. It, th. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, t. It's, tod. It's, today. It's, today. It's. It's ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. today. Oh great friend of the podcast. Yes. If you and Alan were a wrestling tag team, what would you be called and what would your gimmick be? Descourt, what would you be?
Starting point is 00:46:52 Descourt tape. Like, um, you're a leg. Like, you're. Yeah. Their gimmick is having the big red shoulder pads and be like, to. Bulldogs, other wrestlers from being. That's just a single guy. That's just one guy. It was two guys, they were the British Bulldogs. Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:08 But then there was just one, like Highlander. Yeah. Yeah. Heart Foundation. Okay. I'm just going to keep up with a gimmick first. Okay. Okay. Um, would her name be? Well, I think, let's come up with a gimmick first.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Okay, okay. It's gotta be something scary, right? Sure. Yeah. Are we real scary or do we just think we're scary? Or are we unintentionally scary? Or are we unintentionally scary? Or maybe we're clowns who just want to be able to do children's birthday parties,
Starting point is 00:47:41 but we're like terrifying. I got tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho to to to to thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo to to do children's birthday parties, but we're like terrifying. I got an image of us dressed like Bunco, Raggedy Ann and Andy. Big fan of that. Okay. Yeah. Were the dolls maybe? Yeah. The doll twins. We're the doll twins.
Starting point is 00:47:56 Dull twins. Just make sense. And I love it. Yeah. We demand. We go to the ring theins. We insist, we have the same DNA. We go into the ring, we do the mirror thing. Yes, I love that so much, the doll twins. Copyright, copyright.
Starting point is 00:48:16 We're both in adorable dresses. Yes, a little pinafores. This is great. The rosy circles on our cheeks. Yeah, I love that. I love this for us If we get thrown on our backs our eyes just roll shut were immediately able to be pinned Madges are super quick never gonna kick out just go limp, but I feel like with all these A.W. Wrest that are just like like Orange Cassidy who wrestles with his hands in his pockets like all that stuff. Yeah we can we do it. We can do whatever we want. Tall twins.
Starting point is 00:48:52 Two people one set of DNA. Doesn't make any sense and I love it. No. Yeah that's perfect. Katie. Can I read you a message from a patron. Please? I love it. No. Yeah, that's perfect. Katie. Alan. Can I read you a message from a patron? Please. This message says, Just Emma is fine. Thanks, Just Emma. I live in Tuxen?
Starting point is 00:49:13 Tuxen? Tuxen? Tuxen? Tucson? Ha ha ha. And so I wish sunshine and gorgeous weather to you all. It's a pretty wet heat out here, just Emma. It's a pretty wet heat.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Heart emoji followed that. You're very sweet. But you should totally watch Benny loves you. I don't know what the butt is. You just just say it. Yeah, I don't think I've ever said I wouldn't. You should totally watch Benny loves you. I don't know if that's a stuff. It the the stuff. It the stuff. It the stuff. It's. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've st. I've the the the tha. It's, I've the the. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It. It. It. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've. I've the the. I've the. I've te. I've te. I've the tot. I've tote. I've tote. I've tote. I'm a the the tote. I've the the the tote. the the the the the the the the te. I've the te. totally watch Benny Loves You. It's a horror comedy from Britain with a stuffy. I don't know if that's, what is a stuffy?
Starting point is 00:49:47 A stuffed animal. Oh, is it STU, F-F-I-E? Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's a stuffed animal. Anyway, come on, get a child. I don't, I assumed it was, I assumed it was, Anyway, love your show and can't wait for the next one. Oh, thank you, Emma.
Starting point is 00:50:06 Here it is. We did this just for you. Thank you, Justin. Everyone else hang up, this is just for Emma. Go about your business. This is Emma's podcast. We're the doll twins. We're the doll twins.
Starting point is 00:50:20 We don't have singular names. No, just the doll twins. Well, they can't tell us a part. It's like, how could you? We'll do that thing that the Bella Twins used to do where they would call it twin magic, where one of them would be wrestling in like a singles match and the other one would be hiding under the ring to like it like torsory or something. We'd really have to get a portmanteau going. Yeah, we'll think about it. Yeah, yeah, we'll work on it. Emma, thank you so much for being a patron. Ah, so kind of you, so kind to all you patroans. If you would like to be a patron you can go to Patreon. You can get our action movies over there. As soon as we hang up this one. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, we. Yeah, we. we. we. we. we'll, we'll, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah 9. Holy smokes. Fucking hell. What time is it? Do I have even time tonight?
Starting point is 00:51:07 We don't have time to watch it again. I'll tell you that fucking much. I can't believe you watched it twice. Five hours. Things I do for this potting cast. Oh, God,, you want to do another horror movie for next week? I would love to. I would love to do one that I was 100% sure we had done at some point because it's one
Starting point is 00:51:31 of our favorite movies. I love this movie so much. We're going to do a movie from Japan. Yeah. In the 2000s, about that the Hunger Games, the fuck off. Seriously, fuck you. It's called a Battle Royale. You're gonna like it. You're gonna like it.
Starting point is 00:51:49 You're gonna love it. You're gonna really enjoy it. Gotta catchy in it. How could you not love it? A lot of dead kids, which I think we all can agree is a good choice. Uh, Mike. Mike Bolum, hello Mike, was telling me that there is a movie that's like Battle
Starting point is 00:52:05 Royale but it stars one stone-cold Steve Austin where he gets abducted and has to kill all of these other abductees to get out of some situation. Should we do that instead? No we should do battle? Can we do it afterwards? Yes. So come back for battle rail. Yeah. And find us on the internet? Find us on the internet. Leave us a voicemail?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Make it short and sweet, because we cannot have your ramblings on here, you fools. But also, we do love your ramblings. We just have to edit them down a little. You guys are funny. Do you. Do to to the th. th. th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. Do th. thi. th. thi. tho, tho, to to to to to to to to thi. We just, to to to to to to to to to th. to find us on. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. We just. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. tho. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tooooooooooooooooooooo. I to find to find tho. thi. tho. Do you remember what the phone number is? 412-407-7025. But I'm going to check it. I'm sure you're right. I'm sure I'm right too. So hit us up on there and we've got a PO box. I have no idea with that. Yeah, it's on the internet. Go find it. Probably. And if you write to mail, we'll send to the address for the P.O.box. And where roof ambulance at Gmail.com? You know where to find us. Well, this isn't your first video.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Whose first episode is the Fun House? Oh, and good bless you people who were going back and listening to the first episode of this podcast. Oh, God, I felt like I was like, I saw some a tweet about that today, that they were listening to Warlock and I was like, no, no, they're like, it's pretty good. No, it's a good foundation. And I was like, thanks, but oh! We've come a long way, baby. Yes, we are the Virginia Slims of the.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Kagan. It's like smoking a bar straw. And Katie, why don't you take us out of here. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearwolf Ambulance. See ya! Later. Bye. Maniacs are not dead pools, civeties tie inside the pool. No way to make it bea'niped the pool.
Starting point is 00:54:07 No way to make the film let's keep a full film reviews. Killing the glass at the face. Killing the clouds and let the face. Can't live in his face. Up here in time laugh of face. Can him live in every space. A few times are cast in case. Please make I continue to break. E&T. Marlowe and comedy reviews.
Starting point is 00:54:35 Hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen King. E.T. We live deliciously bad temple tre obese, recently gone today. A paranormal life continues from Mr. Rogers to say. EFT, EFT. EFT.

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