Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 432- Child's Play 3 (1991)
Episode Date: June 12, 2023In this week's champagne-soaked episode, we're revisiting one of our favorite franchises with the 1991 film "Child's Play 3." Special topics for your consideration include: deep metaphors, what happen...s when you make a movie in like a month, a shocking lack of knowledge about the US military, weird hands, and a real cause for celebration (next week's episode contains the second cause for celebration reported on June 8, 2023 when we recorded this). CHUCKY! Naturally we covered the sequel first (Episode 28) and the original film second (Episode 231) with the remake coming in appropriately third, in Episode 287. We also covered "Bride of Chucky" in Episode 356. What a lovable scamp! The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and enjoy a collection of episode about action movies! It's a Stallone month and so far NOT A SINGLE SOUL has voted for "Rocky V" you cowards. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Duhh.
Duhh.
Duhh.
Duhh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Duh.
Du-Doh
Duh.
Fuh.
Fuhn.
Pat Roberts' today.
It's happy Pat Robertson's dead! It's happy Pat Robertson is dead day.
Happy death day to him.
Oh yeah, happy death day to us.
Happy death day to us.
Finally.
That sound you heard was a real bottle of champagne.
Well, Proseco that I bought on the way over here, which Alan has already pointed out,
is not real champagne.
Listen, if it's not from the champagne region of France, it's just sparkling water. Sorry?
La Cois.
Thank you for doing this and I'm so glad that you pulled the trigger.
Oh, well, I have to drive by the liquor store, don't I?
I was also very excited that we both tweeted about Pat Robertson's death independently of one another.
I tweeted it and then saw that you tweeted about it and so then I just retweeted my own tweet.
To you my friend.
Salude.
That's a full glass.
Me if Amelia.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Oh, it taste so sweet.
It tasks so good.
I love forseco.
Um, the taste of just freedom.
One less hateful bigot in this fucking world. Look, I know Grave Dancing is ghoulish. I know it is. We saw the movie, you know, if you do it in the criminal section of the cemetery, you're
going to get chased by a fireboy? Oh, I don't even remember. I blanked it out, thankfully.
I, that's a movie I deja-vue. I'd watch it again. I mean if you're a lifelong hatemonger,
like the clips that everyone's replaying today of just like,
hey, this guy called in the program and said that his wife was getting mouthy
and Pat Robertson was like, well, why don't you become a Muslim so you can beat her.
Like, fuck that guy to death.
Yeah, if only we had. He honestly lived too long. My, my, gone too late. My mood this morning was
an amazing yo-yo because I like, you know, sit on the toilet, log into the news app and
I'm like, oh man, Iron Sheek's dead. I know, someone told me about that. I know. Someone
told me about that. I didn't know that Iron Sheik was dead. I didn't know that. their thick th i iron s iron s iron s iron th. I was dead th. I was dead thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I was dead thi. I was dead thi. I didn't thi. I didn't thi. I was dead thi. I didn't thi. thoom-I's thoom-I'm thoom-I thoom-I thoom-I tho-I tho-I tho tho tho tho tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thiiiiiiiiii. thi. I remembered Pat Robertson was dead and I was like, Iron Chick lived a good life.
Seemingly a nice man, said fuck Hulk Hogan constantly.
I don't know who ran that account, but it was good.
You don't think it was him?
No, I don't.
Oh, come on.
That was sheaky, Bubba?
Oh, Alan. Have you watched that shiny, that shiny, that shiny, that shiny, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that was, that was, that was, that that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was, that was. that was. that was. that was. that was. that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Sea. Seen, thi. Seen, thi. Seen, thi. Seen, thi. Seen, thi. Seen, thi. Seen watched that shiny happy people documentary on Amazon Prime about the Duggers? No, God no. No, it's not, it's the, it's about the ways that Christian
conservatism has leached and in one of the daughters who is now a strange
from the family is on it. Okay. And she talks about like what was really going on
and I, it's fantastic. It's well worth a watch. There's like a bunch of like kitty didlers in the family and stuff. There's a kitty didler, yeah. I mean if you have if you're the victim of any type of childhood abuse
I would take care while watching it. Yeah, I'm sorry that didler is not a very kind way to put it, but but a fucking petterast. No. But there's like one port where one of the women is talking about how fucked up it is to be be. to be. the w.. I was like, I will bring this up in therapy. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I
jokingly wanted to start an emo band called Do you want something to cry about?
I'll play bass. I was like, how far down this road can we go? Honestly, yeah. We just need a drummer. Now our tears will play the trolls as they hit the hit the head hit the head hit the head hit the head hit the head hit the head head head head the head head head the head the head head the their their their their their their their their them. I'll them. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll. I'll. I'll. I'll this this this this this this this this this this this. I'll this. I'll. I'll. I'll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. th. I's. I'll. Yeah. I'll. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'll. th. I'll. th. I'll. th. I'll. th. I'll. th. I'll. I'll. th. I'll. I'll. I'll tears will play the trumas as they hit the heads of the snare.
The most emo thing ever.
Katie, you know it's not very emo.
Oh my god.
Great segue. Childs play three, the third in the franchise.
Man, I love whoever picked in this movie for us to do.
Why do you love them so much?
Tell me all the things thiii them. Well, they're super kind and consider it. Oh my god, yeah. They're very funny. Thank you. They look great in a pair of glasses.
Oh, I just can't get my contacts in because the air is so smoky. Oh yeah. What, what, the new
apocalypse that started? I'm reading a novel called, it's part of a trilogy. It place in the near future like 2025, but on a different timeline.
And they have had, in the future they will have a thing called the jackpot, which is not
one cataclysmic event that happens, but multiple at the same time.
And I was like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what that's like.
Yeah, I feel that in my bones.
Both from, you know,this timeline and having watched Knock at the Cabin. Oh sure, sure.
Yeah, yeah. Well I'll tell you what, Childs Play 3 came out a mere eight or nine months after
Childs Play 2. This is like one of the most rushed films. Yeah. Strike while the iron is melting.
Yes. Because Childs Play 2, as we all know, is a perfect film. Yes. Fucking fantastic. It ends with Chuckie being melted in the factory in this like, I'm going to go ahead
and say iconic scene.
Sure, I mean, my third note is melted Chuckie from the greatest film ever made.
The greatest film ever made.
My first note is we start in Chinlars.
their list.
Go fuck your self. Sorry. My first note is, oh, we start in a cobweed factory that also makes dolls.
Yeah, why do they just let them all cover up with cobwebs?
Isn't this in Chicago?
You'd think this would be prime real estate.
Oh, spider capital of the Midwest.
That's true, too.
There's melted chucky, being picked up their claw machine at the arcade. Or those like things that's, th ice men would pick up their blocks of ice with?
Absolutely, the big pincers.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
And for some reason, it looks like he's wearing like a long skirt of plastic?
I didn't know what that was about.
I think it's just his mealty insides.
Okay, it's always meldie-in-sides, because they dripping into the melted plastic. Yeah, to make a swirly little vortex of blood.
To make new dolls.
Don Mancini admitted to having no ideas for this movie.
It was so rushed, he just had no ideas.
There is a, we'll talk about it when it happens, but there's a thing that happens later on in this movie,
where I was just, I became joyous watching this film.
Because I could tell how much fun the people making it were having making it.
I look forward to discussing that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they're gonna, we cut to a corporate board room.
The ashtrays on this table are insane. They're like thi-thahahahahathree of them, and they're thick fucking glass, I'm obsessed with them.
They're for cigars.
But like, if you picked that up and hit someone with it, you'd murder them instantly.
It's a murder ashtray.
I need a murder ashtray.
I just use empty, icy light cans on my back porch.
It is gross. I'm gross. For murder? Yes, I am gross. Definitely not smoking.
All murder, no smoking. Exactly. So we come into this corporate meeting where there's a
slide show about the violence of Chuckie. They have this like tender little baby picture of Andy.
I was like, where'd you get that? Because that Andy's not in this movie. No, Andy's all grown up now. Yeah. Or they's all the teenaged. Yeah. the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th thi. I thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi's thi, not smoking's thi. I thi's thi. I thi. I thi. I'm not smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking. I'm not smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking smoking, not smoking, not smoking, not smoking, thi, thi, th smoking. I th smoking. I th, th, th, th, not smoking. I th, th, th, th. I th. I th. get that? Because that he's not in this movie. No Andy's all grown up now or at least teenaged.
There's sort of one corporate guy who does not want to move forward with
putting out the good guys again. Right. He's like what if something
happens? Oh. And then this real Paul riser types real excited about putting out
and has one for the
CEO of the company.
The CEO who says, the bottom line is the bottom line.
And what are children after all, but consumer trainees?
I was like, yay, capitalism!
How's Don Mancini feel about capitalism?
Don Mancini has things to say about capitalism.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You just reminded me of my one one the the the the the the the least the least the least the least the the the least the the the of my the the the the the the the the the the the the the the- the- the- thi thi the- theoo-s-s. tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- tho- the the the the the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s the-s thi-s thi-s tho-s tho-s-s-s-s. tho-s. tho-sea-sea-sea-sea-seauo'-sea'-seauo'-seauo-sea say about capitalism. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
You just reminded me of one of my least favorite lyrics of all time
from the band The Refused.
I've got a bone to pick with capitalism
and a few to break to you.
Did you?
Because you're on a major label.
I saw you at the Warp tour when I took my baby cousins there. You were on the old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old old to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the to. the the the the the the the the the to. the the the the the the the the to.. With face-to-face, an alkaline trio.
Fuck, that's a good-ass show.
Yes, face-to-face, alkaline trio, bouncing souls were on it.
I had such a nice time.
A DWK headlined it.
I was like, this is perfect for 40-year-olds.
Did he die or get sucked into a wormhole or something? I have not heard about that man in years. My Spotify keeps being like, see what Andrew WK is doing because you love him so fucking much.
Partying, I assume? I think he wrote a book. Sure. Yeah, I think there might even be a documentary,
I'm not sure. He's fine. Just a book that says party over and over and over.
So yes, they give this guy the doll and the meeting comes to an end, and then he goes back to his executive office that is filled with toys.
Filled with toys and a putting green, which just makes you know that someone's an asshole.
Sure. Yeah. Cigars, whiskey, putting green green, like there's the three ingredients
to make an asshole. Yeah. And I'm going to go ahead and add vanity license plate is either very cheeky or you're an asshole. Thoughts? 100%.
It's either like a joke that you did on a whim that went too far and now you're like,
yeah, no, I did that.
Yeah, no, I'm kind of an asshole.
There has been a vanity plate in my neighborhood for some years that is KIDRC. And Kason and I always like to imagine that it's a rapper named Kid Rick who got it and to, and an, and the, and to open, and the to open, and the the the th and the th and th and the the th and th and the th and the the th and th and K and I always like to imagine that it's a rapper named
Kid Rick who got it and opened it and realized it basically said Kid Rock and
was like oh man.
Who? Kid who?
Kid who?
Rye Rick.
Anyway, he's in this office.
He has enormous marble ashtrays in there too.
The ashtray game in this movie is so strong.
I love how ashtrays in there too. The ashtray game in this movie is so strong. I love how astray focused.
This was on like the tail end of smoking.
Yeah.
Like being a socially acceptable thing to do.
1999 I think it was?
Yeah, I distinctly remember people smoking in the mall in 1991.
Sure. Yeah, my mall had the sand ashtrays.
Yes. So we used to put our cigarette butts in there. Oh, I wasn't smoking.
I was six.
No, I was seven.
I was 17 and smoking since I was 11.
Oh, buddy.
Glad you quit.
Me too.
I'm glad I quit to.
Me too.
Don't you laugh at that.
So he, there's this huge jar of marbles in his office, and I thought, is he the inventor of marbles?
Because that's a toy, but is it his toy?
Is it his toy?
He seemingly just loved toys?
Like, is this like the, all the toys in his office, like the train set that runs around
the ceiling?
Like, is this just supposed toys and it's sold out to Capitol. Wow, I really like that.
It's sort of a metaphor.
Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So rather than playing with his toys, he's now playing with his putter and smoking his cigars.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And this is what happens when capitalism goes too far. Sure. Or anybody can get any where? thi thi tha? tha? thi th. thi thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi? thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that, that, that, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th. Yeah, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that that that that that do have to say, did he have, you have an art degree?
Sure.
Did he have an Egon Sheila painting on his wall?
I missed it.
It looked like an Egon Sheila is one of my favorite artists,
and it looked like a Sheila, and I was like,
that's weird.
That's Don Mancini for you, I guess.
I don't know.
I feel like I couldn't have that jar of marbles in my office because it would just make me hungry for candy all the time, because it looked like it should be candy?
Uh, uh, secretary I'm going to call the dentist again?
No, I chipped another one.
I put the marble in my mouth again.
It was an Augie, it really cracked my molar.
But I don't know what that means. Augie's are the big marbles that you you you you you you you that you that you that you that you that you that you that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are that you are th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. tttoo. ttoo. tttoo. ttttoo. tttoo. th. th. th. th. the other marbles with you when you're playing marbles.
Have you, you're not old enough to have ever played marbles and you're like, oh you are
that old.
Yeah, man, once we put our hoops and sticks down we went and played marbles.
Your bike with the big front wheel.
What's the Veloc-a-wha-wha?
What's the velete the takes this jar of marbles and predictably dumps it on the floor and the guy does like,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
And then Chuckie beats him with the golf club?
First he drives a toy police car at him, which I thought was actually very funny.
Because I think Don Manzini also does not respect the police.
Sure, not at all.
Except for Chris and Randon in the first movie. He was useless. But he was so. He was so. He was so. He was so. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. to. thi. to. to. thi. He's, to. to. to. to. to. He's, tha. He's, to. He's, to. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's, t. He's, t. He's, t. He's, t. He's, too. He's, too. He's, too. He's, too. He's, too. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He useless. He was useless, but he was so good looking while he did it.
Sure, sure.
And then what does he do the man?
To the man?
He beats him with his putter?
And then?
He says, don't fuck with the chuck.
Don't fuck with the chuck.
That's Brad Juriff's first line in this film.
God bless him.
Oh, he gets precious little to say in this movie. Sure but I'm hoping you got a big fat paycheck. Oh I hope so. After I sure I talked about this already but I
rewatched all of Deadwood and then I recently watched the movie for Deadwood
they did a concluding film where they wrapped up the story. Love that.
And Brad Durf is just a fucking national treasure he's amazing in that oh my god.
Does they are a daughter who looks just like him
and has played his younger self?
Yes, she played whatever of Charles Lee Ray
in the Chuckie TV show.
That's right.
Yeah.
Adorable.
Brilliant.
Don't fight with the Chuck followed by garting him with a yo-yo. I do love that. The CEO appears to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed to be paralyzed the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. the the the th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t... t. t.. t. t. t., the, the CEO appears to be paralyzed from the
waist down and he's like army dragging himself around. I'm not sure why that is, but that's
fine. Hit him with the golf club. Hit him right and his, turn his legs off switch.
Got it. You hit that sciatic switch and it's like, hmmm. So he starts talking to himself, the chucky is want to do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's thi, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's thi. He. He. He. He. He. He's thi. He's thi. He's thin, he's thin, he's thin, he's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thin, he's th. He's th. He's thin, he's th. He's thto get into a body. He's got to find Andy And you're like, please just get anybody. Why does it have to be poor Andy?
Why do you have to cross state lines to get to Andy? I love that it's so like he has that
Realization in a little while, but it's so funny that he's just like, oh work. Anybody, literally anybody. Anybody.
But also, we find Andy who is now going to a military academy because his mom has been
institutionalized.
Well, if you recall in the second movie, he's in foster care because of her being institutionalized,
and we're told that he has not, I mean, obviously they got murdered, his foster parents.
One was the woman with the accent with the sewing machine.
Sure.
Is that a woman with the accent?
You know who I mean?
I don't remember much about that movie, unfortunately.
How dare you?
We watch it.
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
So he's, he's, I think eight years have passed.
Right. He's got this like really floppy mullity haircut with no sideburns.
Very 1991.
Very upsetting.
Why was that a look?
It was a look into like 1992.
When 90210 came out and Brandon and Luke Perry had the really long sideburns.
God, Luke Perry was a stud in that show.
Oh my god. And Luke Perry had the really long sideburns, and then we all had real long side burns.
God, Luke Perry was a stud in that show.
Oh my God.
Oh my God, he's sad too.
Holy sh! He is!
He is! We were just talking about how coolio died
and we remember it sometimes and we get sad.
Yeah, I forgot that Luke Perry was.
Wow. This world is hardly worth living in, except that Pat Robinson is dead, and I'm almost through that giant glass of champagne.
How far into this episode are we?
Seventeen minutes!
Fuck!
I might have to get an Uber.
So he has to get a haircut cut.
Yeah, who cuts his hair?
This guy from fucking everything.
Yeah, the dad from hellraiser.
Who delivers the come-to-daddy line? No, that's Uncle Frank. Uncle Frank has possessed his brother.
Oh my God, you're right.
It says, come to Daddy inside of his brother's skin.
That's right.
He is very obsessed with hair, and he only sees one client a day.
And he trims their hair to where they have a half inch of hair and then yells, you're bald! Yeah, and he practically orgasms about it too.
He's like cutting like, ugh.
Oh yeah, the hair cut nut, you'll never surpass it.
He gives Andy a straight up little flat top, it's sad.
Andy's hair is disgusting.
You can, yeah. Because it's a flat top, but like the back is combed, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, toe, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, toe, it's, it's, it's a flat top, but like the back is combed forward
to really give punch to the front.
Right.
It's almost like a peewee.
Yes.
Which I had in high school.
Did you wear a bow tie?
Or did your beard cover it up then too?
No, I just had a goatee in high?
Just a goate?
Yeah, it was the 90s.
I'm not, I know I was a baby, I don't remember it.
I had a chin strap after that.
Yeah, facial hair takes its, uh.
So, but, uh, his hair is pushed forward,
but there's so much hair gel, not even like wax or just like this solid, shiny, like, horse lick thing on the
back of his head.
It's so gross.
He's a cute kid and he looks like he knows how miserable it is.
He knows how bad it is.
They cut off my beautiful hair.
So he gets to his little barracks room.
Yeah.
Okay, like obviously I went to public school.
And I did not go to military school.
Is this what military school is like, do you think?
Are they co-ed?
Do they get guns?
It seems like you don't want to give juvenile delinquents
access to live ammunition.
Katie.
Alan.
You're going to in the closet.
We're never told why this poor baby angel is in military school.
Because he's a nerd.
Apparently.
A lot of nerds don't have to go to military school.
I'm sure it's a thing where his dad wanted to toughen him up so he said him to
military school.
Well, it worked in like the stupidest saddest way. What's his roommate's name?
Whitehurst.
Whitehurst.
Right, right.
He's been tied up in the closet by Shelton, who is their boss, I guess, or their teacher,
or their commander.
I think he's just the lieutenant of the kids' barracks things.
He is one cross-eyed.
I'm pretty sure. And two, just like some weird cowboy motherfucker.
Well, he's doing the drill sergeant.
He's basically doing, what's that guy's name?
Like Arley, Ermi?
Yeah, yeah.
But as a baby, his baby Arle, Ermi.
I'm checking something right now, because I think this was like, yes, Toy Soldiers also came
out this year. Wait, what was that?
Toy Soldiers was a Sean Ashton Will Wheaton vehicle,
which is a gritty thriller about a military school.
So I feel like Academy movies were very big around this time.
Yes, what was the one with Brendan Frazier?
Yeah, school ties.
Oh my god.
I never should have seen that movie at the age I did. Or this movie, I was like 10 watching this movie.
This is fucked.
I think that's what I was watching, like, the Hales have eyes and shit like that.
Why are we like this?
This is why we're like this because nobody paid attention to us children. Like, school movies. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th, I th, I was, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th they were just like tapping into the zeit-kais.
Sure. Of like school movies. I mean I really feel like they told Don Mancini he had a month
to get this together and he was like, ah, school ties.
Toy soldiers, Martika, let's do this.
Perfect.
We meet De Silva, who is the one of two female characters.
Sure.
Why are there only two?
Huh?
Yep.
She calls Shelton an asshole, sir.
She's like stupidly beautiful and also much older than these kids.
Yes, she's like, I'm 35 and in the military academy.
I can't get kicked out of here. Maybe you should graduate.
They can't kick me out. No.
Ma'am, you have to leave.
Kick me out.
Here's your diploma.
What?
I'm going back to my dorm.
I wish at the end we just found out she's a ghost that's been haunting this
military academy.
That's a great twist. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so after, yeah, after he gets his hair cut, he sees a good guy's commercial on the TV.
And he's like, oh no, the good guys are back.
And he also meets Tyler, who is a sweet little baby angel.
Sweet little baby angel.
But also like kind of not little enough for what happens in this movie.
He should have probably been a bit smaller. So sad though, such a sad like turn of events for this child.
Yeah, we're told his dad is at war.
And I was like, Gulf War?
Gulf War, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, just making sure.
There weren't many Americans in the Gulf War?
Yeah.
Yeah. How many?
I don't know.. T th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. So, th, th, th. So, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, tho. tho, tho. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tho. tho. tho. So, tho. So, the Gulf? A ton. How many? I don't know. Then how do you know it's a ton? It was a big deal. Kids from my high school went. Like, like, nobody died there though. I know.
And our vice principal went too. Yeah. Why though? I mean, like, it wasn't like NOM. No, but they did a huge call up because it was just like shock in all. They were like trying to just like we the vice. And the vice. We. We. the vice. the vice. the vice. their. their. to. to. to. their. to. to. to. their. their. to. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t. t. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. too. shock and awe they were like trying to just be like we will unleash fucking hell upon you. We're bringing this vice principal to
kick all your actors. That's what I'm saying I feel like the military was well
stocked enough at that point they didn't have to take your vice principal. That's
all I'm saying yeah. He never came back to school. that's what he did not
he he did not die he just he just never he just he just he just he just he just he just he just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just I just he just he just he just he just not he just just just just just just not he just not he just he just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Because it was over in a month. Yeah, I mean, really, yeah.
Oh, that's right, but then we occupied the country for the next 20-some years.
We all had to sing proud to be an American at chorus concerts.
Did we?
We did.
Oh, wow.
The lower generation.
Which is how we think of you.
So, there's a guy who brings him into his office, the office, the the tha, the tha, tha, there's a guy who brings him into his office that I only refer to as the teacher general.
Yes, teacher general.
He's the school principal general.
He seems like a nice enough man, honestly.
Yeah.
And he's like, hey man, you've been fucking up at all these other places, but you've been
through some shit.
So I'm going to cut you some slack. He's like, let's just write this ship this this this shit this could work. That's a discussion you have to have with a teenager.
I know.
Get your shit together.
So we see the, there's a package for Andy.
Andy.
Yeah. It's a box.
Yeah.
That's the exact same size as a Chuckie doll.
Here's the thing.
Yeah. Somehow. Yeah. Chuckie got himself into a box. Yeah. Wrapped that box and paper. Yeah.
Put an address label on the outside of that box.
Seal the whole goddamn thing.
Mailed his ass to the military academy.
Where'd Chuck he get that postage?
How Chuck he get to post office?
Chuckie had to have an assist on this one. I mean. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. ti. to to to to to to ti. to to to to to ti. ti. ti. to ti. ti. to to toozy. Yeah. tie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. Yeah. to. to. Yeah. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. ti. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. to. to. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t post office. Chuckie had to have an assist on this one. I mean. Baby Tyler is like tasked
by a very nice man at the mail room. He's like, hey, I've got a job for you because you need
friends. Because you're a baby. Yeah. For some reason in this military academy. Babies need rules too.
It's true. You cannot let a baby get away with shit. Because they'll just keep keep getting away with it. And then the next thing and then the next thing.
So Andy is tasked with bringing the box to,
or no, I'm sorry, Tyler is tasked with bringing it to Andy.
But because he's so tiny, everyone doesn't notice him and they just end up kicking him to the ground. I don't see that. Okay, yeah, go on. This does not give you faith in our military is what I'm saying.
At least our academy system. Right. So our academy system like it's toddinem hot spur.
Oh, this guy he's one of our own. Hey, congratulations to Westdam for winning that cup that you won yesterday. Oh, did they win? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I I I I I I I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I I I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, I. Yeah, yeah, I that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I. Yeah, it'd be forentina, Florentina, Fiorentina, Fiorantina, Fiorantina,
Giallo.
So he eventually, the box gets kicked down a flight of steps and the paper on it rips open.
Because Chuckie did a shit job of wrapping yourself in it, obviously.
I mean, you wrap yourself in a box and let's see how well you do.
And he's, Tyler sees that it's a good guy doll.. And he psyched. And he had seen the commercial earlier and was like, hey, so excited.
Chuckie says, out loud.
Wait a minute, I got a new body and I ain't told anybody about my little secret yet.
And it's like, you don't have to, I, okay, all right, Chuckie.
Maybe do it in voice over?
Chuck saying it out loud is very weird.
And very funny. Yes.
So he steals it and takes it to some secret place that he has.
That's just like a storage facility.
Every child must have a loft, seemingly.
It's true.
It's true.
If the paranormal activity movies have to say anything.
And so, Teacher General and
some other nerd come in there and they find Tyler and the Chuckie doll and
Teacher General's like no you cannot have that Chuckie doll. Those are girls.
Yeah. That's not cool. No, no. But they were trying to play Hide the Soul,
which is what Chuckie tells Tyler that they're doing. Which sounds filthy. Fulty. Fucking filthy. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi ti ti ti ti ti ti ti ti-cuu-cu-si-Ci-aughni their their their their their Tyler that they're doing. Which sounds filthy. Fucking filthy.
Right, because when they come in,
Chuckie's like standing over, I'm going,
like chanting some.
He's like French, Voodoo, Phajan.
I don't hate it.
What is he talking about?
I have to be reminded every time that Voodoo is involved in the chuckying of Chuckie.
Yeah, there's some kind of, yeah, some kind of dark magic there, huh?
Yeah, because don't the first movie, like, ride the subway to see the voodoo person?
That's right, they do. Yeahthe, they take the L.
That's right, because when they get off,
the L, it's the funniest thing you've ever seen in your entire life.
I will say, to this movie's credit,
the practical effects are outstanding.
The Chucky animatronic looks great.
And his hand animatronics look great. not somebody's hands in gloves, which is... Yeah. His little hand grabbing a knife is something I'll never get sick of.
It's just like, I would watch a supercut of that all day.
And at this point, I'm like, I think I love Chuckie.
Yeah.
So, Teacher General throws Chuckie away in the trash can.
Just face down in the trash can. Yeah. Yeah. The next time we see him, he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he th th, he is luring the trash collector.
To murder him in the trash can.
Mushing him just because he gets him to crawl into the back of the garbage truck and then
pulls the handle to mush him in there.
Why?
Because he can?
Well, there's like, did trash trucks have that like a vent horizon wheel in the back of them to grind the trash out? Yes, have you never watched the trash get smashed into the back of a trash truck?
I thought it was just smushed. I didn't know there was like a spinny wheel of spikes in
death. Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah. I thought it was just pressure too. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna pretend it's a spinning wheel of spikes in death. Well, thia thia thu I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi th. thi th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I was just just just just just just just just just just just just th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I the. the. the. I Death. I mean, would you fuck with that?
No, you would not.
Chuck, he's also cackling the entire time,
which of course I love.
So the trash man screams and it brings all of the boys to the yard as it would.
Sure.
All of the military academy students run over, they're like, hop, up, up, up, up, up, gotta help, gotta help.
And they run over there and there's just an arm,
like a real hairy prosthetic arm sticking out of the top of the thing.
So hairy, the hair is sticking up like four inches off the top of the arm.
It's like more than Andy's flattop.
I love it. Doug he is and he's somehow under Andy's bed.
How do you get in his room?
I don't know, how do you know which room it was?
I don't know, but he's under his bed.
I mean, and seemingly going back to the first film,
a Charles Lee Ray, not a good criminal.
No, he's not great at it.
But in his afterlife, he's fantastic.
Well, is he though? Yeah. Yeah.
He cuts Andy's heel from under the bed,
which will cause Andy no issues down the road.
You can slice your Achilles tendon, you're fine.
My friends like her Achilles playing,
or tore her Achilles, playing volleyball.
And it rolled up the back of her leg like a Venetian blind, and I think about it all the time. My friends did that while he was walking up steps.
Oh, wow, that can happen.
On his, like, like, like the week of his 40th birthday.
No!
His Achilles was just like, hey Doug, I'm gonna take a nap.
I'm a retrograde and he's like, just dropped to the ground.
I can't hold any longer. I mean, it didn't happen to be be like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the..... the. Really? I don't know. Yeah. That's such a dummy.
And he's like, I'm I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm.
They're like, no, no, no, no, just look pretty.
So Chuckie has, he's slaced Andy's Achilles or heel or something.
No, nothing.
Nothing of consequence. No, no. No, no. the ankles. the ankles. the ankles. the ankles. the ankles. the ankles. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. they's. they're like, they're. they're. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No................................................................. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.ie says a real racist thing. What does he say? He says he's gonna, because he's gonna take over Tyler, so he says,
Chuck he's gonna be a bro. Yeah. Chuckie. Chucky. Chucky's psyched about it though, at least.
This is also where you see like the funny doll thing, which is that Andy throws a shoe at him and it's enough to knock him down and make him scream, I don't know. That that that that that throws a shoe at him and it's enough to knock him down and make him scream which is I don't know that doll bit is always very funny to me and then he's
beating Chuckie's ass when Shelton comes in yes and Chilton's like hmm what
what huh I'm gonna give this to my sister okay dickhead
so Andy goes looking for her Chuckie yeah in Shelton's room Right. Shelton has like a board of weapons?
Yeah. That's been there so long that there's like a sun faded outline of the knife the Chuckie has stolen?
Sure, sure. Every young boy has a board of weapons. Is that true? Yeah, we all get one. Oh, is that like
you at your bar mitzbo? Yeah, you've reached your 13th birthday, you give me a boredom weapon.
Got it, got it.
But I like that Andy gets so scared by Chuckie that he hops into the bed with Shelton,
because he snuck into his room.
That was funny.
It was cute.
That was cute.
At this point Chuckie is gone.
Yeah.
Shelten accuses Andy of stealing it. So he takes the whole brigade? Yeah.
Brigade?
Sure.
Yeah.
Outside, it makes them, like, just walk in a circle for an hour?
Sure.
This movie just has lines of like, like,
like Shelton says to his underling, he's like, by the time we're done with Barkley,
he's going to be living in a whole world full of shit. Like, what does that even mean? We're all living in a whole world full of shit, sir.
It sounds like something a military person would say.
Very much, so.
And it's just like, just get in a neighborhood.
Just get the neighborhood of a thing that military people say.
And the guy's all, the kid who's playing Shelton is also like doing this
jaw jutting thing while he's talking. I'm calling him a cowboy, cowboy motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got a cowboy mouth.
A real cowboy mouth.
Or he's doing that to distract you from the fact that he's cross-eyed.
I'm sorry, I don't like to go after people's appearances.
I do think he is.
And these new schoolmates are not happy about being punished. get punished because of something one person did, fucking infuriated me. Yeah. I think it's one of the things it makes me hate authority. It's not equal, is it?
No, it's abuse of power. No, it's abuse of power. Yeah, you lost this one. Move on.
Sorry, you didn't figure out who it was. Yeah, that's your job. Yeah, that's the
things that he with Tyler? Yeah, nobody notices
that he runs off even though he's the subject of this inquiry. I just don't
believe it. And then like Shelton's all the sudden behind him like he's the
murderer. Yes, we know he's not.
This is where we meet the other lady, the red-haired lady. Oh right.
Who is friends with De Silva of course because they're the only women. Exactly. De Silva has, I don't know what her name is, the other lady. Can I just call
another lady? She tells other lady to keep an eye out and then the other lady just turns
and starts looking through a display case of like trophies and medals and shit. What are you doing? Keep it in all on these medals. Guess so. And is this when Chuckie is trying to inhabit Tyler again and then the teacher general
finds him and then Chuckie like does something to him and the guy has a heart attack?
Yes, because Shelton says something like, lives through two tours and Nom and one night he just drops dead.
It doesn't make any sense. And I was like, actually I know a lot of men that's happened to.
The word of the widowmaker's own.
Yeah, you know, you do some nom and then you die later.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The way, they've put lipstick all this. No. We cut to the mess hall.
And the barber is just patrolling the mess hall, like tugging on kids' hair and be like,
when was the last time you had a haircut?
Wednesday.
He's booking one a day.
One of these kids' name is Fabrizio.
He's pale and redhead.
That is no Fabritsio.
Tyler's playing a game gear at breakfast. I was like, isn't this military school?
Where the fuck did you get a game gear?
What's a game gear?
It was the Sega answer to the Game Boy.
Oh, I see.
I see.
Oh, yeah, I think I can remember the logo to it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it was a game gear. Yeah, I was children. I had a pension. Well look, you're
going to work on the railroads that long. They're going to fucking pay you. I'll live long
day. You know. So Andy tries to warn Tyler. Tyler's a fucking idiot. He's nine. He's old enough to know better.
And he gives Tyler a knife to's old enough to know better.
And he gives Tyler a knife to protect himself.
He sure does.
He sure does.
Yeah.
Whitehurst is then in the barber's chair,
getting his hair cut.
Yes.
Come to Daddy.
Long story, shortchucky hits him with a straight razor, which is very good.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
I liked it a lot.
And then the barber is going to cut Chuckie's hair at some point?
Well, Chuckie hits the barber with a straight razor.
That's right. That's right.
Yeah.
I don't know why. I guess just cut.
Chuckie's motivations are very muddy.
I think it's just violence.
Because I feel like he could just leave this military school.
Right.
And he could have just waited to be shipped out to any child.
And then yeah, just done the first movie again.
Yes.
His plans are so stupid.
He's a very stupid man, Chucky.
Charles L'I. Chucky eventually gets his hands on a hand grenade?
We're doing war games.
We're doing like color war.
Oh, that's right.
And Chuckie's replaced half the bullets with that are supposed to be paintballs.
Paint balls are not paint bullets, by the way.
Yeah, are paint balls and bullets interchangeable?
I don't know fuck about shit about guns, but I'm going to say no.
Okay.
If I'm incorrect, please get in touch.
Don't bother, because I don't want to know.
I don't want to know if he's wrong.
But Chuckie's just like, he's just like, hey, he's just like, the time and dexterity to load each rifle with live ammo. Fantastic.
He's also wearing a bandaleer at this point.
You're like, where did you get that?
It's doll-sized?
Why did they have a doll-sized bandaleer?
Because it's for children.
Oh my God.
Military school is fucked.
I'm so glad I'm in public school.
Oh, man, it's so good. Again, I love Chuckie. He's just great. He's just a ding-dong though, isn't he?
But he's like a dip shit agent of chaos.
Yes, that's exactly what it is.
You're right.
Yeah.
And then later he has like spousal issues.
Yeah, when you grow up and then he's married and you're still a dips shit.
He sees Andy kissing Silva. And he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi's like, thi's like, thi's like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's just a thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. He's th. He's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. He's, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. He's thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's like, thi's like, thi, thi, a dip shit. He sees Andy kissing to Silva and he's
like man I really got to get out of this body like so that you can kiss
teenage girls I know she's not a teen but she looks supposed to be one.
Yes. Yes.
Yes. Also why would they have grenades at a military school in what I can
understand if they have target practice even though I don't really understand
that? Sure. The fuck are you doing with grenades?
Target practice makes sense because ostensibly you want these people
to go into the military.
Hmm.
So you want them to have.
I think of it as a feeder.
I thought of it as a punishment.
But that. What happens if
you go to West Point? You can go into the military as an officer. And then what?
You're then you're Shelton? Oh yeah. I mean Shelton's, yeah. So you're like you go in, you're not a grunt. You're the person who's making decisions rather than the person who's going, to to th. th. th. th. th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you're th, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, to go, to go, to, to, to, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,'s making decisions rather than the person who's going and running and into battle. Seems like you should have to go and like be in the trenches first. You gotta pay your dues?
Assensibly, yeah, theoretically, yes, you should have to do that.
Here and I reveal I know nothing about the US military. Here and I reveal everything I know is from
bander brothers. Probably legit though. They wouldn't lie to you? Tom Hanks can't lie to you. So Chuckie gets De Silva with a grenade and
then they trade for Tyler and then the red team shows up and shoots Shulton with
live ammunition. Yeah his friend just shoots him right in the chest. Somehow while
they're firing they don't notice that they're live rounds. Yeah I feel like you
would there's a different kick I would I think you would know. I shot a gun once when I was 12. I've
never shot a paintball gun but I've shot. I've shot a paintball gun. Okay. Did it
a kick? Did it kick? No, they're just a little p-puh. Yeah, I feel like every time I've shot a rifle. It's had a little kick. Yeah, they-I th- rifles with paint bullets and... See, I just feel like
they should know. They're the military people. And I don't mean the children. I mean the man who shoots
Shelton, who is also in his 30s. I know you a child. Oh, yeah. So Chuggie throws the grenade.
Him throwing the grenade is so fantastic. It looks so good. It's so fucking funny. And Whitehurst is like, I've got
to sacrifice myself to save everyone because I've always been the good guy. Why would he do that?
Because he's just such a good dude. No, I'm sorry. His character arc is like, it goes up in the
air and then it's just blank for a while, like scenes and then he falls on a grenade. Like there's no reason for him to do what he does. th do th. th. It th. It th. It th. It is. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's, th. It's, th. It's, to, to, to, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to be, thi, to be, to be, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the. the. to the. to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. th grenade. Like, there's no reason for him to do what he does. It should have been Shelton,
because it should have been his redemption arc.
Right.
But instead it's the nerd who's gonna kill himself.
And you're just, you just watch it like, but why?
But also I think it would like blow chunks out of you,
instead he's just like, uh. He does a little boop. He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. bed basically. Fortunately, there's a carnival nearby.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
So here's where I think the joy kicked in.
Okay.
Because I think they were like, oh it's a carnival?
Can we design a dark ride?
It is a lot.
I would love to ride that dark ride.
It's beautiful.
No one's getting fingered and I would still love to ride in. It's too bright to get fingered in, which I think is a plus.
Because I'm just here for the dark rides.
You're not getting the one getting fingered, Alan, are you?
Who knows? I got holes.
I can't wait to edit this episode.
Oh, I should just go nuts.
Don't punish me, I'm sorry.
But like, the design of every, like,
I was immediately comparing it to Funhouse.
Yes.
Which was just like a really cool looking dark ride.
And this was just like that on steroids.
There was a lot of thought put into this ride for sure.
Like the skeleton that pops out of the box and shakes it people.
The grim reaper with the blade that eventually takes off part of Chuckie's face.
I loved it.
Also at this point I realized I don't think there's a scarecrow in this movie.
I was sure there was a scarecrow and then I thought, do I not know what a scarecrow is? Why do I keep doing this? What is it with you in scarecrows?
I don't know. I'm all fucked up about scarecrow.
One thing, you're just like, wizard of us.
That's what I've been thinking about this all time.
You know, the flying monkeys and the witch?
That fucking scarecrow, though.
If you only had a brain. What are you smiling about? Um, so like at this point the movie is just like,
I'm just here for the scenery.
Like, who gives a shit?
What's the action in this movie is at this point?
A bit where Chuckie's holding on to some little piece of the set rising into the air?
And you're like, okay, great, I'm here for this.
There's the like demon, monkey, flying, hybrid thing that the fishing line it's on is
strong enough for Tyler to ride it to the top of the mountain of skulls?
Yeah, he's a big boy.
It's very funny.
They have guns, fortunately, because, oh, Chuckie's also killed a security guard at a carnival
had a gun?
No, security guards at carnivals this security guard at a carnival had a gun? No, security
cars at carnivals don't have guns? When that security guard first meets Tyler, I
definitely thought he was the lead from Shetland. Oh, Douglas Henshaw. I love Douglas Henshaw.
I was like, he would have been way too young. He's like, my age now. He would have been you too young. Yeah, because there's this really cute scene where Tyler's like,
oh, safety, I'll go to the cops, I'll go to security.
And like, nope, they're not going to help you.
No.
But fortunately, Andy has the gun.
Yeah.
So he shoots off Chuckie's hands.
And then tosses him into a very large, very dangerous fan that's in this dark ride?
It does.
Because it's got to blow the monkey up when it's rising up to the top of the mountain of
skulls.
True, it needs a lot of air pressure for that.
And that's it.
That's it. When they are on the mountain of skulls, and there's like the chopper sound of the fan blade, the fan, the fan, tha, tha, tha, tha, thion, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi. And, thi. And, th. And, th. And, thooo. And, th. And, thoooomorrow, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like chopper sound of the fan blade and like I was
just like this movie an allegory for Vietnam oh no you're right I can't
believe that you found allegories for capitalism in Vietnam and this piece of
shit great work my friend thank you yeah the movie just ends with Andy like
being taken away and he looks at Silva and Silva and he's like, I'll be fine.
Yeah, this happens to me all the time.
And that's the last we ever see of Andy in this franchise as far as I know.
My last note? Yeah.
Gravitron.
Fu-Fu-Fa-Trond. I fucking love a Gravot. I would never write. I don't spin. I don't spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend spend. I thron. I thron. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu thu thu thu. I don't thu thu to to to to to to to to to to to to thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I thu. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thus. I thus. I thus. I thus. thus thus thus thus thus thus thus to thus to to to to to to thus. I thus. I the only ride I like to ride. Really? That in Himalaya. I shan't spin.
I apparently only like spinning rides.
It's a very unsatisfying ending.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh for sure.
For sure.
Uh, Katie.
Alan.
Want to give me a little rady?
Here's the problem.
Yeah. off from two and from one. It's missing all the all the dark humor of the first
sure that makes Chuckie so charming like Chuckie's not very charming or
interesting in this no no no and I feel like he is in the other movies where
you're like that fucking Chuckie you know do you think it's because
uh Menzini didn't direct he only wrote the movie I think it's because he just didn't know what to do and had to get something out there.
Probably.
Yeah.
But then I drank all the champagne and I had such a fun time talking with you about it.
Now I'm sure it's a good movie.
And Pat Robertson still did.
Okay, so, uh, movie gets four.
Yeah. I'm going to give it a five the the the to to the five to to to to to to to to to the five, to to to to to to to th. to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. thi. thi. the. the. th five for Pat Robertson being dead. Oh nice. Because as you texted me today, everything gets one more point today.
Pat Robertson Bump, baby.
Pat Robertson bump.
Fuck yourself in hell, you son of a bit.
If only there were one.
Would you give it a four?
Yeah. Well, then a five.
Yeah. I'm going to give it a five completely for the set design of the dark ride. Yeah. It is so joyful and beautiful and like reminded me of why I love horror movies so much
in a weird way. What do you mean? That's just like getting in there and playing
with these ideas. Yeah and that seemed like what they were doing with the
dark ride. They were like channeling their childhoods and like it was really beautiful. I really like it. That's really nice. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that that. And that that. And that that. And that that that. And that's that. And that. And that. And that's that. And that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. And th. And th. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the 10. the 10. the 10. the 10. the 10. the 10. the 10. that. that. that. the 10. the 10. that. that. that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. It. It. It. Yeah. Yeah. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. It. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, I'm certain I did.
Katie, do you know what is a 10? What? A note from Patron. Great!
Hi Katie and Alan. Hi, you can call me Sarah G.
Hi, Sarah G. Your podcast is my absolute favorite.
You are my favorite Sarah G. So this works out lovely.
I've listened since 2017. Whoa. We've been doing this for so
long. That's that's three years into our run. My first ep was Ginger Dead Man.
I pushed through. That was a rough one. The episode or the movie or Bo? Yes. Yes. And I've been
rewarded with years of feeling like I am listening and at the same time being
truly seen by my dear, dear friends.
Oh, you sweet baby, Angel.
It's so kind.
I too am a vegetarian and I too hate Dave Matthews band.
Sarah's, they're just like us.
I love it if you can shout out my best friend, Kai.
Hi, Kai.
His birthday is coming up.
What is it?
What's a social security number?
I'm omitting his birthday.
And he was the one that gave me the gift of knowing
about wherewulf ambulance ambulance.
thank you for being a friend.
The gift that keeps on giving. No matter what, I will be listening and laughing you until one th. th. th. th. th. the the thi the thi the the the the the the the the thi the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. their thi. thi. thi. thi. Hi thi. Hi. Hi their their thi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. thiiiii. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. thi. thi. tha. thi. tha. tha. I tha. I tha. I will. I will. tha. I will. tha. I will. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. The gift that keeps on giving. No matter what, I will be listening and laughing and loving you until one of us dies.
Fuck, dude. Now Sarah just threw her hat in the ring that she has to die too. Is that a threat, Sarah?
It also feels very REO speedwagon to me. She's just going to keep on loving us. I'll be listening and laughing and loving you until one of us dies.
Because I'm gonna keep on listening. Imagine going to band practice that guy's your singer
and being like yeah that's fine. He's like I wrote this about my girlfriend and they're like, oh God again.
And then I made them a million dollars.
It's true, people really like that shit.
Yeah.
You know what Ario Speedwagon song I really like is Roll with the Change is?
Hmm.
It's the song that plays in Cabin in the Woods when they think everybody's dead and they're having the party.
Sure. I love that movie. I love that song. Thank you that that you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th you th th th you th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th tho tho tho tho that tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th tho th. th. tho th. th. th. th. th. th. th th. th th. th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea thea. on. I love that movie. I love that song. Thank you so much for
writing to a Sarah and thank you for the beautiful sentiments and happy,
fucking birthday, Kai. Sarah G. Thank you. And happy birthday. Happy birthday.
Katie. I'd like to do a movie next week with you. I'd like to talk about a movie. Another horror movie.
One we haven't done yet? Well, we haven't done yet. Okay. Are there more? One that was suggested by a listener, but I cannot for the life.
Me find who suggested it to us. Let's call them Brant. Brandtarkington. to the son of Frant Tarkington. We are going to do all about evil.
Yes.
It's on Shutter.
It's called Natasha Leon.
It's directed by Peaches Christ.
Yeah.
Starring one Natasha Leone.
He's the fucking fantastic.
One, Cassandra Peterson.
Yes.
Yes.
One, Mink stole of many John Waters movies. Yes. And then some other people that you'll
probably recognize from other things. You probably know them, yeah. You watch movies, you know what
you're doing. And I'm excited for y'all to see this and for us to talk about it. Let's do it next week.
We're going to do it next week. Okay, we'll do it next week. In the meantime, you can get at us We're all family owns at Gmail.com or on Instagram. We're on Twitter. We're checking them sporadically
Because neither of us is good at social media anymore because we're just getting older and social media has turned into a wasteland of hate
Yes, both things are true, but we do check the email or at least you do yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we we yeah, we yeah, we we see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, we're we're we're we're th, th, th, the thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi, the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. theea' thea' thea' thea' thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, if you want to get in touch email, seriously. Yeah, really, that's the way.
We check, I check the Discord fairly regularly too.
Okay.
We have a Discord channel that you can find on our link tree,
which you can find at Weirlfambulance.
We're on Patreon, thrown, back slash, And in time, you can vote in this month's poll. Yes. Should we do a Stallone month?
We already done that?
How many still, I mean, there's so many, right?
We got Cobra.
We got Judge Dredd.
We got Cliffhanger.
We got Cliffhanger.
We got Rocky Five.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, there you go.
Done.
Come back next week for All About Evil. Yeah. Have a great week. Enjoy your afterglow of Pat Robertson dying.
I'm hopefully going to get a whole week out of this.
You know?
Of course, I'm milking this fucker for as long as he milked hate.
Yeah.
And, wow, 90 years.
Yeah. Yeah.
I'm doing it.
And thanks for listening to another episode of Wear Off Ambulance. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. And bye-bye to you, Pat Robertson. Maybe acts in our dead rules, Savini's sighting at the pool.
No way to do in Finland's to fulfill reviews.
Get the clouds and leapt in the face.
King in the atmosphere.
A few inside basketcase.
Please make I continue to break
EFT
A road and comedy reviews hungry Brian from wings and Stephen gang
ENDT
We live deliciously at tendon trees of bees
crazy gone to daddy
A pair of novel acting tubes from Mr. Rogers to E.M.D.
Empty.