Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 434- 976- EVIL (1988)

Episode Date: June 26, 2023

In this week's episode, we're going back to a WWA-favorite era of the late 1980s with the supernatural/demonic possession film "976-EVIL." Special topics for your consideration include: when your phon...e's autofill function tries to predict "your thing," an unexpected sessy moment, having your directorial debut and your swan song be the same film (sorry Robert Englund), and a whole ass host of 1980s teen horror tropes: old teens, hot principals, religious moms, kids with insane names, movie punks (or at least punk-adjacent), evil quips, panty thefts & so much more! Or less. It might actually be less. 1988 was a hell of a year for horror movies, and we've seen a lot of them (say what you will about us, but we are certainly thorough).  Tease your hair, put on your Guns n Roses tee and settle in for Episode 32- "Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood," Episode 36- "Waxwork," Episode 50- "The Blob," Episode 137- "Monkey Shines," Episode 140- "Killer Klowns from Outer Space," Episode 192- "Night of the Demons," Episode 205- "Hellraiser II," Episode 225- "Beetlejuice," Episode 231- "Child's Play," Episode 265- "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama," Episode 283- "Elvira: Mistress of the Dark," Episode 314- "Phantasm 2," Episode 343- "Black Roses," Episode 383- "Hack-O-Lantern," Episode 401- "Halloween 4, and finally" Episode 404- "They Live." Holy ghost. The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and enjoy a couple years' worth of episodes about action movies! You can join me in blaming the top tier Patrons for voting for "Judge Dredd" because that's what we had to watch this month. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD  buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance on Twitter @werebulance on Instagram @werewolfambulance. werewolfambulance@gmail.com www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.   If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Alan? Yes. Whenever you say Katie, I say Alan. So whenever I say Alan, I feel you should say Katie. Katie. Let's try it again. Alan? Yes. Katie? Yes. Katie! No, I don't want it. I have an update for you. An update. An update on electric fences. We got a post on our subreddit, our backslash, world ambulance from a user, ooh, should have practiced this one. I'm going to say razor days? Who says, for those not so aware, and as most men who grow up on a farm with an electric fence that had even a modicum of curiosity can attest, you can indeed shock yourself through a stream of urine applied directly to a live wire. It's a darn good thing that charge on the fence is pulsed and not constant.
Starting point is 00:01:00 to lull. Thank you, Razor Days. Well, there another post on that where someone talks about it affecting their twigs and berries. Oh no, I didn't see that. Oh no. Okay, I guess you can do it. It can be done. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, Ren and Snimpy had the whole game, don't whizz on the ewee, they-nit, they-weightwea, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't their, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, don't their it just, it's like, is it, I mean, liquid... It travels up the street. A bit up in your peahole. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You ever done a thing with a lighter in hair spray?
Starting point is 00:01:32 I really thought you're gonna ask me if I ever lit a fart on fire. The answer is no. The answer is no, no. And because my father, this is the only good advice this man ever gave me, is that he said he saw one of his friends do it, and then it like sucked the flame back up into his asshole? Well, exactly, it's the same premise. The electricity travels back up. I was going to use the can of hair spray. I was going to use the can of hair spray where you're like doing it and you could see the flame, and you're the the flame, you can, and you can, and you can, and you can, and you the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the'll blow up in your hand. Yeah, exactly. Well, hot tips from us here at Where the Ombuds. Yeah, don't pull your dick off. Yeah. Or your
Starting point is 00:02:07 bow hole. Yeah. And just like don't take my knowledge about anything to be fact. Yeah. Yid misses on facts as a reviewer might say. I can't believe we miss Monarched someone. Oh my god. I can't have you got the town where Goonies was filmeded to the the the to to the the the the the the the the the th. Gune. G. G. G. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I that. I th. Yeah. Yeah. I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I'll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. I know if you got the town where Goonies was filmed wrong. Ugh! So as you all know we are shutting down our Goody's podcast. Yeah and I shan't speak of Star Wars again. I've seen 1.5 Star Wars I think, maybe 2.5. It's that's up for debate. And you know what? That's plenty. Hey, what are we here to talk about this week? A movie of your choosing. Don't say it with it with with with that with that with that with that with that with that with that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's plenty! Hey, what are we here to talk about this week? A movie of your choosing. Don't say it with that accusatory tone, sir. Which I had somehow avoided because it is in the sweetest of my sweet spot. It really is.
Starting point is 00:02:56 1988, it's got a guy from, or a Fright Night in it. It's got an evil ed. Yeah. Which is the only other movie I know of him acting in that, that, that, that, that, that, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi. And, that's that's that's thi. And, that's thiiiiiiiiiii. And, thi. And, thi. thi. thi, thi, ed. Yeah. Which is the only other movie I know of him acting in. Sure. That is not. I guess he's done stuff more recently. He did porn for a while. Did he? Another name Sam Ritter, I want to say. Oh. Okay. I'm not super stoked about it I believe, like it doesn't like when people ask him about it. I mean I wouldn't either. I think if I had done porn for a while and that's stop doing porn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I the the th. I the th. I the th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm the. th. theeeeat. th. th. theee. th. the. the. the. I th. I th. I th. I th. I think if I had done porn for a while and I'd stop doing porn. Yeah. But yeah, wow, he's in this movie. He really really is in it. He sure is. And directed his directorial debut? And finale, according to you. To quote my friend, Jay-Z. Yeah. Grand opening? Yes. Robert England. Wow, he's a bad director. Well, he didn't write the movie. Okay. Didn't he? No, I don't think so. I think it was the person who maybe wrote a nightmare
Starting point is 00:03:52 on straight or something. Okay. Tell me why you think he's a bad director, Alan. Because this movie is shitty. It's so bad. You think so. I thought it was abysmal. Really? Yeah, I was mad watching this. Wow. Wow. this. Okay. I could not find anything to like glom on to. Yeah. Which is weird. Again, it is totally in my wheelhouse. There's some movie punks-ish. Yeah. But they're not good at being movie punks. And one of them's a real professional skateboarder? Oh, was he? Yeah, that? Yeah? Yeah? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow, that? Wow? Wow? Wow, that? Wow? Wow? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that's? Wow? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, that? Wow, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? Wow? I I? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that? Yeah, that's? Yeah, that? that's that's that's thi. thi. thi. th. thi? th. It's th. It's th. It's. Yeah. But they're not good at being movie punks. And one of them's a real professional skateboarder. Oh, was he? Yeah. That's cool. Rags.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I believe his character's famous. But like we have seen this nerd kid who gets revenge thing done so much. Even like a movie I'm not wild about Christine does it better than this. Sure, sure. Yeah, he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he th. th th th th the th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th is not th is not th th th th th th thi thi theat theat. theat. theateat. theat. theat. theat. theat. theat theat theat theat'm not wild about, Christine does it better than this. Sure, sure. Yeah, he's not thecic. Anyway. No, because it's that dude and he's just like, yeah, the whole time he's on screen. I'll tell you what I did glom onto was his mother because she and her wigs are spectacular,
Starting point is 00:05:01 and she's just going for it. I feel like she was like hitting some like extras in a skit on the Carol Burnett show. Yes, maybe that's why I liked it. Leah, she was great, but wow wow wow. Yeah. Yeah. Oh man. So this movie opens on a weird phone-based nightmare, which is weird when I say it out loud. There's some car phones and phone booths and you know phones all over the place. Don't you figure if you were Robert Englund you would do the furthest thing from anything dream related for your first movie? Really good point and no.
Starting point is 00:05:45 So the guy grabs a phone booth, the phone ringing in the phone booth and it catches him on fire when he touches it. Yeah, yeah. Who is having this dream? Him? Who? The nerd with the pinkless gloves on? No, no, no, like the dude, he had evidently called the horror scope. He was a previous victim. You got it. Just like the woman who gets the glass in her face.. G g g g g g g g g g g g. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phones the phones the phones the phones the phones the phones the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone, the phone. The phone. The phone. The phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone. the phone, the phone, the phone, th. thi? thi? thi? thi. G. Gets, thi. Gets thi. thi. G. thi-cogeing thi-cringing thi-cringing thioliole thi. G. thi. thi. G. ly called the horror scope. He was a previous victim. You got it.
Starting point is 00:06:06 Just like the woman who gets the glass in her face. You got it. Okay, all right, I'm on board. Okay. Um, it's so funny because he's like dressed in like a business suit, but with things, there's like fingerless and knuckleless gloves on. I have no idea what he was doing. Yeah, what was his job, do you think? I know, pinch hitter for the nerd league? I have no idea what he was doing. So we need some movie punksish guys.
Starting point is 00:06:32 They're playing poker. I don't know how to play poker, but is a battleship a real thing in poker? Because that doesn't sound right to me. I don't know fuck all about poker. I know how to play poker with a battleship. War is about as far as I got in card games. I'll teach you crazy eight someday. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. We can play a drinking game. I know a couple, we can play asshole. Sure. Yeah. We can play Kings. Uh-huh. Yeah. That's all I know. Okay. The a the a-fra-mention war. I do like that there are the... Oh, we could play high or lower, which is a th. th. th. th. the game. th. th. th. the game. th. th. the game. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I t. I the. I te. te. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. te. te. I'll ta. I'll te. I'll te. I'll te. I do like that there are the... Ooh, we could play higher or lower, which is a game that, never mind, never mind. Keep this all in mind for our road trip together. Oh yeah, we'll play it in a hotel before we go to the gam show.
Starting point is 00:07:13 Just be show up, piss drunk. What were you two doing, Pinockle? Beanacle? So there's a bar on the street called Dante's that has Shuffleboard. And then the theater is Diablos. Yes. And it's like, oh really? No, it's subtle. But it was a $1.99 horror movie marathon. I would kill a man for that.
Starting point is 00:07:42 I've never even been to a horror movie marathon. Let alone for two books. Yeah. If you haven't sat in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the man for that. I've never even been to a horror movie marathon, let alone for two bucks. Yeah. Yeah. If you haven't sat in the miasma of other nerds, farts for 24 hours. Yeah. Falling asleep in the most uncomfortable chair you've ever sat in. It feels a bit like a church lockin but for stinkier, scarier stuff. More vape pens. Yeah. Which is really what church lockins are missing. Sure. Pens and porn. No, no porn of the locket. You know what will happen. So the spike bets the pink slip on his Harley because he can't cover this bit. Right. He has a gambling problem which is never addressed in this movie. His friend is like,
Starting point is 00:08:22 bring the pink slip by my office tomorrow. And I was like, why do you have an office? What are you doing? Do you mean this room here in the movie theater? Pretty sure he means his bathroom at school. Oh, you're right. You're probably right. They're, oh, by the way, they're high school kids. Also, I think calling Marcus his friend of me, I guess. He hangs hangs out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out he hangs out he hangs out he hangs out he hangs out he hangs out he hangs out he hangs out th. He hangs out th. He hangs out th. He hangs out th. He hangs out th. He hangs out th. He's th. th. thi, thi, th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to me. to me. to me. to me, to me. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thi. thi. to thi. He hangs out with him, or he just has a very serious gambling problem.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Oh, yeah. So Spike is the cousin of evil Ed, whose name is Hopes. What would his mother name him Hoax? It doesn't make any sense. It's not biblical. It's not even kind. I was going to name a mistake, but I feel like that would be too much. Just a little on the note.
Starting point is 00:09:07 He's reading National Geographic and Panting. Not jerking it, but panting. There are fucking cats everywhere. Oh, that house had to smell so bad. And we see that he's looking at some titties in the magazine. Uh-huh. And his mother hits him for this. She says something like, did your cousin Spike get you into this? And I was like, his name is really Spike, huh?
Starting point is 00:09:34 His aunt calls him Spike? Okay, okay, okay, all right. It's Spike and Hoax, common everyday names. Like you would name your children. Not your dog. No. Spike and hoax have a pneumatic twi, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, twice, twicks, twicks, twicks, twicks, twicks, twicks, twicks, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits tits tits tits tits thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi tits him him him him him him him tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits, tits tits tits tits tits him tits him tits him toeeeats toeats tits him toaa' tits tiiiiats thiats thi thi some some some some some some some some some tits tits t common everyday names. Like you would name your children. Not your dog. Spike and hoax have a pneumatic tube set up but twiks their rooms? That is wild.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Spike lives in a tree house as far as I can tell? Yeah, because I was reading the Wikipedia page to refresh myself on this movie, because I immediately blocked out of my mind. Stop. And they're like, Spike and hokes live the same house I was like no they don't they don't they live a bank drive-in away because the tumatic tube works where is the compressor that is moving the or making the vacuum that makes this pneumatic tube work I don't know how a pneumatic tube works it like it sucks it through
Starting point is 00:10:24 and then yeah where is it at the bank? Oh it's inside the bank somewhere. I mean do they even use pneumatic tubes anymore? The CVS on Center Avenue does for the prescriptions at least. Yeah I loved that funk when I was a kid. And then the door opens. Yeah, sometimes there's a lollip in there. Yeah, so nice. Oh, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thus thi the. the. the. thus thu- thu- their thu- their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, thi. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. thu. tu. tumeateateate. tumooooooooomu. tube. thu. thu. thu. thu.'s sometimes there be a lollipop in there. Yeah! So nice. Oh, you guys were the best. Thanks, bank tellers of our youth. Spike comes home to his tree house or whatever. Puts on some music that Spike would listen to.
Starting point is 00:10:58 What is it, like Chuck Berry? It's like two hop or some bullshit. I just love roots rock and roll. The idea of rock and roll in this movie is very upsetting. Can we get the rights to my dingling? No, no you can't. No. He has a little card that says, has a phone number to call 976 evil to call for your horror, horror scope. It's really hard to say. Do you remember 976 numbers? No it was 900 by the time I be the too to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the tou. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to to to to to to to t your horrors, horror, horoscope. Horrorscope. It's really hard to say. Do you remember 976 numbers? No, it was 900 by the time I became aware of calling pay, pay lines. Sure, yeah. Sure, like Miss Cleo and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:11:35 Yes. Yes. You have to push 666 for your horoscope now, but it doesn't ask you for your birthday, which I th is. Yeah, to to to to thi to thi thi thi to thi to thi they they they they they they they they to they they they to they thi, to thi, to to thi, to to to to to to their, thi, thi, tho, to thought was interesting? Because isn't that what a horoscope is? It's just, yeah, they need to know some information about you. I think. But they don't because they're very knowledgeable about Spike when they talk to him. Right, I guess. Or they just tell them generic stuff like horoscopes are, right? Is that what they are about how they were like,
Starting point is 00:12:06 when's your birthday and I told them, and they said I was on the cusp between Capricorn and Aquarius. Yeah, and they were trying to tell me all these things about myself and they were all to, naive, and I was like, how dare you? First of all, I cannot shut the fuck up. I talk to people everywhere I go. And I'm also very street smart. I've been homeless. You like shoes.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Yeah. Oh, yeah. So dumb. Yeah. Yeah. So Spike gets a horror scope that's like, hey, you want your money troubles will be solved. Yeah, you're no longer in debt or something like that. Yeah, he is. Who leaves milk uncapped in the refrigerator? I wrote just an open bottle of milk in your fridge. So fucking dangerous.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Disgusting and also just like you're reaching for the pickles. You knock that milk over your day is ruined Everything in your fridge is gonna smell like slightly turned milk like a gross baby Oh, yeah, yeah, and he gets caught stealing from the cookie jar or something. It's a fishing trophy. Okay, which I liked because then I thought did that mom get that fishing trip? Yeah, and she screams at him. Thou shout not steal. It's number eight in the good book. th. It. It. It. It. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's a. It's a. It's a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's tr. It's tr. It's tr. It's tr. It's true. It's true. It's te. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's the that mom get that fishing trip? Like, yeah. And she screams at him, thou shout not steal, it's number eight in the good book, which also, I think is fantastic. I think she's fantastic. Very funny. I almost wish the movie was about her. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:35 We are told that Spike can't have access fucking way. Well, he's got Ben Button disease. He's coming back from 35 to get to 21. I mean, maybe it's the ponytail, but he looks old. He is old. I think so. Yeah. I mean, it's the, like, you know, middle age as teen thing that we always complain about from this era of film.
Starting point is 00:14:02 Do you recognize him from one other film we've done and the answer is no. No I do not. He was Randy's friend in No Holds Bard. Really? Yes he's the friend of the little brother. Imagine if I did remember it. Did you? Yeah. Love that movie. Classic. Classic. Classic. Mama. It's rain and fish from the sky. Why? Why does that happen? Yeah. that? that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. he th. th. th. the th. th. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he. he. he. he. he. he. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he thi thi thi thi thi thi the tho the tho the tho the tho thi tho. thi the thi the the the the thi. the the thi.. Classic. Mama, it's rain and fish from the sky. Why though? Why does that happen? Why is he occasionally like a cartoon hillbilly? I don't know. But why does it rain fish from the sky? Because like the Bible. These are God's fishes. And he touched the fish. What? The fish trophy? Yeah. But that, but that, it's just, that's where they keep their spare change. Hey man, I'm trying to grasp any strong I can get a hold of. All right, all right. In this nonsense-ass, the nezzles, the next scene is a man walking up to the front door of the house. Marty. Marty. And he's looking at, there's like a virgin was like every other fucking house in my neighborhood has one. Once my sister-in-law got lost in my neighborhood
Starting point is 00:15:08 and she was on the phone and she was like, trying to tell me where she was and she was like, there's a Virgin Mary statue and I was like, dude, nothing, that's nothing. That's nothing. Oh, you're on a sidewalk, cool. Cool. He says that he's from Modern Miracle magazine. He's not though. Who is he?
Starting point is 00:15:29 He's a private investor. What is his deal? He's a PI who's been hired to track down the 978, like what happened to I guess one of the people who we saw die early in the movie? Got it. But my complaint right here is that she opens a door and says, I am I can't do anything blahbity blabbitty blah. She says like some line but she's like I only she pauses so that they can cut and come back to it and
Starting point is 00:15:59 they don't. And they don't. She's a fucking professional and they are not. and I was like Bob what are we doing here? Bobby England. Bobby England. I know you didn't you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you th you th you th. I th. I th. I th th th. I th. I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I th I can't I th I th I th I th I th I th I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I 't. They don't. They are not. And I was like, Bob, what are we doing here? Bobby England. I know you didn't edit this movie, but you watched it before it went out. Oh, good lord. We got to high school where Spike and Hokes are high schoolers, along with all of those movie punksish.
Starting point is 00:16:19 That one dude is 38 if he's a day. What are their names? We've got Airhead. Airhead. We've got rags. Rags. We've got, uh, Marcus. Marcus at least has a name. Jeff? Jeff?
Starting point is 00:16:33 Okay, I like a Jeff. And don't forget about Wendy Cook, who played gang girl. Gang girl. I feel bad for her. We see Spike meet up with his lady friend and then when the camera pulls back she's standing inside a planter. Why wouldn't she stand on the other side of the plane? She was trying to pretend that she's a plant. I guess though. It is a silly. I found her very beautiful. She was very beautiful. I felt bad for her in this movie. Both for what she gets to do and what happens to her character. And she was like in an electronic band?
Starting point is 00:17:09 Like, called Fem to Fem or something like that? That sounds very cool. Yeah. Way cooler than uncapped the movie deserves. Way cooler than than uncapped milk in your refrigerator. Disgusting. But I did like that there was black flag graffiti to to to to to to to to to thagg thagg thagg thagg thage thagg thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thiol-a thi. thi. the. the. the. the. them tooom. tooom. to be to be to be to be thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee like like like like theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaa. theeeeeeeeeeeeea. theeememememn't the flag graffiti in that bathroom. Yes. And I was like, I bet Rags told him to do that, yeah, being a professional skateboarder. Being a person who probably knows who black flag is. So while Spike goes to deliver the money
Starting point is 00:17:33 that he got from the fishing trophy, I guess. Oh, OK. Or one of the fish maybe, or something? Yeah, dude. He goes into the bathroom and his cousin is getting his ass kicked and getting a swirly. Yeah. And he's like, hey, stop beating him up. And they're like, oh, you care about him now?
Starting point is 00:17:54 Yeah, how long had he been letting them give him swirlees for? Doesn't make any sense. And then Spike beats up all the bullies with like a, uh, uh, uh, fight that that that that is is is is is is is is that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that beats up all the bullies with like a, uh, eh, uh, fight that happens. Spike is unnecessarily cool, I think. We're supposed to understand that hoax is jealous of Spike because Spike gets all these things without trying, right? Sure, he gets the girl, he gets the motorcycle. Right. It is his dead dad's motorcycle, we're told, and his mother is also dead, so like it didn't come easy. He didn't have to try, though, they just tied.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Ooh, it's true. I do like that when they pull hoax out of the turlet, his hair is perfectly dry. Yeah, his shoulders are also not wet at all. Then we see hoax on his scooter, their trikk. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoes. th. th. thoes. thoes. thoes. thr-n. thr-n't, thr-n't, thi. I's, thi. I's thi. I's thi. I's, thi. I'm thi. I's th thi. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. He. He's, thin. He's, th. He's, thin. He's th thin. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thin. I's thi. I's thin. Oh, he's asking, they're talking about taking a trip. Yeah. They're going to take this cross-country trip and he's asking her if she has a friend for the back of his motorcycle and she's just kind of laughing it off. So we understand that they're going to meet up later and then we cut to night time and we see the feet of a woman wearing cuffed. the, which is a look I like quite a bit. Yeah. And she's got the horoscope card. Oh, this is the lady who said looks like a tall Rea Perlman.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Oh my God. What a thing to say? Totally based on the hair. Yeah, you're right about that though. There are phones ringing everywhere. she can't take it. She walks past a phone store. There's a high heel phone, a duck phone here at the phone mart. Oh my god, I love the fish phone.
Starting point is 00:19:32 Like the phones, like novelty phones, there's like a clamshell. What an era. I would kill for a Garfield phone right now. Yes. Sports Illustrated football phone. The lips. The lips. I had the clear phone where you could see all the insides. Like that.
Starting point is 00:19:47 I always wanted a hamburger phone too. Oh sure. They were very shitty to talk on. Yeah, because they were just circles, not. Yeah, they're just a hamburger shape. Garfield, their shape. Garfield just was a phone inside of the th out the receiver. Oh, do you guys still have that landline? I'll get you a Garfield phone for your next birthday. I think we do, but we have not had a phone plugged into it for years.
Starting point is 00:20:08 Well, it's really gonna surprise you when that Garfield phone rings. Because we would just get phone calls, they were like, hey, I need to update your computer? I'm sorry, what? What? That's terrible. People are monsters. Oh no, my parents fell for it twice. Yeah, they lost a grand these ass-boys. Oh yeah. So yeah, way to pray on the old, you fucking pieces of shit. Seriously. Oh, just like the people from horror scoop praying on people. It's true. This lady dies by the phone store window breaking and she gets glass in her face, I think? Yeah, the rings became too intense
Starting point is 00:20:48 and blew out the glass. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. Oh, yeah, yeah, they had a deal. I thought we had a deal. I thought we had a deal. A deal.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Oh, yeah, they had a deal. Because there's, it, the, 976 evil doesn't make a deal with hoax, do they? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's gonna get to be the cool guy who gets the girl. But what is his end of the deal? Well, that's why he turns into the demon man. No, I don't think so. No, I don't buy it. No, I'm sorry. No, we see Spike almost get hit by a car and then get saved by the PI. But also no one was driving the car? No, no one was driving the I-Roc Z. Yes. So cool. Do you have tea tops? Love a teetop.
Starting point is 00:21:46 So uncomfortable. Not a comfortable seat in the house. No, why would you need a comfortable seat? You're not driving that thing far. You're just up and down the drag, whatever that is. Just saying, hey ladies. Yeah. When we find Spike's lady friend again, she's standing in the planter again. She's just in a planter again. Maybe she's got like a chlorophyll deficiency. Yeah, or just a
Starting point is 00:22:13 dirt thing. She just wants to soak her toes in the dirt. Yeah, you're playing like a dirty girl in this movie? Okay, I got you. Okay, I got you. So I stand on the planters? What you're saying? We catch up with them fucking in his tree house. It. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi. the planners, what you're saying? We catch up with them fucking in his treehouse. It's just a very sessy scene, I thought. Did you? I did! Except they're smoking and I'd be so worried about catching something on fire. And that's why I'm not sessy. They're smoking?
Starting point is 00:22:40 He's wearing his jeanke. She's wearing his jeans whilst they fuck... Uncle Frank style. She's wearing his jacket. Fucking with a leather jacket on makes me feel like I want to rip my skin off. And they're in what looks like a dentist chair? Fucking upside down in the chair. Yeah, it's sessy, like I said. I mean, I can see why you got all horned up watching that. I mean, Spike's just such a looker. And fucking hoax is watching through the window.
Starting point is 00:23:08 And he sends over a note through the pneumatic tube and his handwriting is that of like an old woman doing calligraphy. And it just says, nice babe. And he signs it, hoax. Your friend and cousin. Alan, I think you might be right. This movie's trash. Here's a note, my feet, my phone keeps suggesting after I type in 976, the word feet. You're a perv. You're a purve. You're a purvy. I'm just like, you're always worried about your thing, maybe this is it. Maybe you're a foot guy. I think you know by now if you were a foot guy.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Sure. And I'm not saying that foot guys are purves. I'm not saying that. I'm saying Alan is a perv. Something that's fucking. It's consensual to watch. Oh yeah. But it was just funny, like I'd be like, 976, no not feet, evil, god damn it. They do an underwear swap. I don't understand this at all.
Starting point is 00:24:10 Oh man, you know what I don't miss? What? Non-boxer brief boxers. They, those were weird. They looked like pantaloons. It looked like they got tight at the thigh like, like, at the baggy around the rest of the thigh? It was just like wearing a pillowcase with a dick slit. It was just like, they sucked so bad. Like, I don't have balls, but I imagine they need some kind of support like titties do.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Oh, by the way, her titties are out. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, it helps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, I don't know, I used to wear just, I went from tidy whiteies and I was like, I'm maturing. This was like in high school and I was like, mom, I would like you to buy me boxers. Oh, okay. And then I would wear these just things that would end up in a wad in my crotches. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels feels like, it feels like. Yeah, it feels feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels. Yeah, it feels feels feels feels. Yeah, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like, it feels like th. them. Yeah, for sure, especially if you're a little chubby kid. Yeah. Ayayay. So hoax finds the underwear. Right. And puts him in his pocket. I was
Starting point is 00:25:12 like don't sniff them, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. No, he just like lightly holds them to his mouth for a little while. Yeah, that's all so gross. Yeah, that's all so gross. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's thi's thi's tho's tho's thi. Hso tho's tho. Hso th. Ho. Ho. Ho th. Ho th. Ho th. Ho th. Hso th. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. H. Hso. Hso. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. H. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. Hso. th. H. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thoooooooooooooo. H. th. H. H. H gets in a real good sniff and their mouth opens up? Yes, my cat does that anytime I give him a popsicle. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, we also, there was a brief, like, Spike gets a phone call before he crosses the street, because he gets a phone call from the horror scope people that a real man has the nerves to take what he deserves, because all the things rhyme that the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil says the devil says the devil says the devil says the devil says the devil says the nerves to take what he deserves, because all the things rhyme that the devil says to you.
Starting point is 00:25:46 I mean, that's typical. Yeah, the devil's a big rhyme. It's got all day to figure the shit out. He's always spit bars. That's probably why people got scared of hip hop. Because it rhymed. They're doing the devil's magic. .Sk. Someone smudged the sage. And that he doesn't steal the gloves that he wants, and that's why the devil tries to hit him
Starting point is 00:26:08 with an eye toxy. I see. I'm glad he didn't try to steal the gloves from that guy. That guy seemed nice. He does seem like J.J. Johnson. J.J. pretty cool. That is very cool. So they go to the movie theater and there's a, they're going to see, apparently the movie theater is still open while this poker game is going on upstairs.
Starting point is 00:26:30 Yeah, they're playing the poker game while they're running the movie. They get tickets to see the movie the movie. And he's just like, I'm gonna go to do this this this this this this this tho thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu the. And I the. And I the. And I the. And I their. I their. And I'm their. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie. the movie is still the movie. the movie is still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. the movie. the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie the movie their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. gambling problem. Because Ayrhead comes up and does the big mouth thing on the glass and then holds cards up and he's like, I have to go gamble now. He's got to win back all the money that he has lost from them. Oh my God. So she gets mad and leaves with hoax because she says, when I'm mad, I eat. And I was like, me too, baby girl. I was like, love this lady?
Starting point is 00:27:10 Love her. Turns out I want the women of this film to have their movie. I don't want to do anything with any of the dudes that are in this movie. I think that's fair. Yeah. And then we get a long scene of her, their the, the, a diner or pizza place or something and he's like, want me to put a quarter in the Jew box, he puts it on and he puts on some rock and roll music, it's still that Chuck Berry shit. I mean, I like Chuck Barry, that's great, but like what is it doing in this movie? It's like free use rock and roll music. Yes, rock and roll, followed by, this song sucks.
Starting point is 00:27:45 Sucks so bad. What is the year of this film, 1988? There's so much you could have chosen. Yeah, there's got to be a low-rent motley crew rip-off band that would have given you a song. Thoughtly moo has put out a song, kickstart my fart. Ladies, ladies, ladies. Hokes tells a joke that gets a spit take from Suzyzy, th, th, th, to th, th, th, to th, to toozy, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thiii's thi, thi, their their their their thi, ladies. Ladies, ladies. Hokes tells a joke that gets a spit take from Susie. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I don't remember what the joke was. I don't either and don't care. But she finds the underwear, her underwear in his pocket. And she says, I thought you were different. I was like, no, dude, no men are different. They're all fucking creeps. They're all fucking creeps. They're they're they're they fucking vampires. Oh, where the... Except they're all fucking grieves. They're all fucking creeps. Right here I have a note, I can't believe her this far into this movie and nothing has happened.
Starting point is 00:28:35 No, it's true. This one takes a while to warm up and then the second half is all just stupid, pointless death. Have you ever seen the th s s s seen the the th s seen the thi thi they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're all they're they're they're they're they're they are they are they are they are they are they are they are they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're Evil Speak? Tell me what that's about. Starring Bull Shadden as the Devil and starring Clint Howard as a kid at a military academy. No, definitely not. And like it's a similar thing to this of like he's the nerd outcast and he finds a computer and that computer is linked to a Spanish devil-worshipping priest from like the 1500s. I love that. And gives him evil powers but like the first hour of the movie fucking nothing happens and then all of a sudden he's like destroying the world. Yeah that's really what happens in this movie nothing happens for a long time and then
Starting point is 00:29:20 there's a bunch of dumb death and then it's over? And some people, like there, well, we'll get to it, but there are parts where, like, scenes are just totally unresolved. This feet thing is really bugging me out. What are you trying to tell me, AutoFill? Because it's still doing it. I don't know, dude. Uh, Susie goes home after to the restaurant, the restaurant, the restaurant, the restaurant, the restaurant and eating to make herself a TV dinner. Yes, and Hoax goes home and he finds,
Starting point is 00:29:46 he's found the horror scope card, so he calls a number. He gets a poem about salt and sin and juice and making you one of my kin and it all happens very quickly for him. It all escalates. Yeah. So he has found out earlier that Susie is afraid of spiders. Right. And so he draws a pentagram. He's got all the candles in the house lit, he's in his underpants, and he conjures a spider into her TV dinner, but there's too many spiders and they kill her.
Starting point is 00:30:15 They, well, he kills his pet spider. And that takes her. Yeah, and he goes, no, like how did he know she was dead? Yeah. Think about it. Also her silverware drawer was really stressing me out. It's very upset. I was like, are you living in a punk house? What is happening right now? I don't know. I was like, oh man, I feel really bad for Susie in this living situation she has. Yeah, Susie deserved better than her parents. She deserve better than Spike. She deserve better than hoax. Yeah, everyone deserves better than hoax. So this is where we find out that Marty Palmer is a P.I.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Right. When he goes to meet with the sexy principal, the school? She appears midway through this movie and then she's a main character. It's like, Mrs. Martinez, I don't need to. I definitely thought while he was talking to her, she was going to take her glasses, shake her ponytail out and just start unbuttoning her blouse and be like, I never thought this would happen to me. She's very sessing. I was summoned to the principal's office. Yes. He finds the ripped pieces of the horoscope card in the locker room floor and puts him in his mouth and
Starting point is 00:31:26 I thought you should know better you're a private investigator. Maybe he's investigating privates. Maybe. Ugh. So one thing about the locker room? The mascot of the school is the wildcats because there's signs everywhere that says, claw them up! But the lockers and the benches in the locker room all say barracudas on them.
Starting point is 00:31:47 So, okay, so I think the barracudas are that gang. I think that Marcus's gang calls themselves the barracudas because at some point hoaxes says to them, like, oh, you barracudas think you're so cool. And I was like, they just thr there's a graffiti that says barracuda's rule and I was like oh my god they call themselves the barracudas and then I thought did they just love the heart song? What's what year did that song come out? before they get to a fight they go tn tuktka tuktinka tun-tuntt-dunt-duntah God what a they's what they's oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah oh oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah oh yeah They can make a riff happen. They can wail. All right, so that makes more sense because I was like, I'm very confused about who the team mascot is here and the barracuda is a suck ass mascot.
Starting point is 00:32:30 It's a suck ass gang name too. Yeah, who are the large mouth trap? Baracuda. Oh, man. And then for some unknown reason, hoax tells Spike that he killed Susie for him? Yes, Spike didn't want Susie dead. No, no. No, and the PI now is on the trail of the 976 evil number so he shows up to like a 976 building a call center. Yeah, yeah. There's just a guy in a baseball shirt, drinking a banquet beer. I liked him a lot. And then he meets the guy who runs the call center.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Mark Dark. Mark Dark. Mark Dark. Who you might know from being in a Star Trek. What? Which one? I don't know. Okay.
Starting point is 00:33:17 He's also Eddie Quist from the howling, the guy. Oh, okay. Yeah. Mark Dark. Mark dark. Is that the guy? He says something. He the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. th. th. th. th. th. He th. th. th. th, th, the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Mark dark. Mark dark. Mark dark. th. Mark dark. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. who's the werewolf initially. Oh, okay. Mark Dark. Mark Dark is that the guy. He says something like, ah, kids these days, they only want Ewoks and ET, football and phone sex. And I was like, what's the wrong with all that? I don't know much about EWox, but the rest of it sounds to ease. Also in 1988, thiii, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, to to too, they. they, too, to to to they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they. they, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. th, th, they. th. th. th. thi. too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, today, too, today, too, the. the. they. a fuer. Oh man. He can't even make a buck in America anymore. That's true. That's what he says. That's fucking true.
Starting point is 00:33:51 I don't know about that. Thanks, Reagan. Yeah, thanks Ronald. And then he's touching his face all over with his frog gloves on, which I thought was disgusting. And the teacher is like displaced with hoax, he's gonna puke while he's dissecting a frog. Yeah, and then he's touching his face all over with his frog gloves on, which I thought was disgusting. And the teacher's like, hurry back, we're gonna do the testicles next. Go Nads. Go Nads. When's the last time you heard someone say gonads? I don't know, that should have been their team mascot. Yes, theynads. their toy. their gon. their gon. their gon. Yes, their. Yes, their. their. their. tip. their. tip. their. tip. Yes. tip. t. t. thea. thea. thea. thea. Yes. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. t. t. thea. thea. the. the. the. G. G. the. G. G. G. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. tiny swords like those cocktail swords, you know? Just taped them?
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yes, I think that's very funny. Oh, and you pull that tape off, it's going to take hair off. No, no, they're shaven clean. They're going into battle. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you want to be more aerodynamic if you, with the little abs drawn on them? The abs on the testicles? This is Sparta.
Starting point is 00:34:51 All right. There has to be a word that has something to do with balls that sounds like Sparta, and I just can't think of one of this. This is Shmagma. Oh, no, you did it, you said it. It's over. Cut, I'm out the window. This will be our last episode, let me ring the bell for one last time. Sorry, it was the only thing I can figure that rhymed.
Starting point is 00:35:15 No, no, it's very, very, very, very good. Oh, man. So, he gets threatened in the bathroom again. There's a lot of bathroom threats. They go go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the school the school the school the school tha, thuu, thi, thi, thi, thi. thu, thi. thi. This will thi. This will tho, tho, this that. This will this this this tho, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this thi. This. This. This. This. This. This, thi. This will thi. This will thi. This will thi. This will thi. This will thi. thi. the. the. threaten. threaten. threaten. the. theateateate. thooooooooooooooooo, the. This will be tho, tho. This gets threatened in the bathroom again. There's a lot of bathroom threats. They go to school every day, but they just hang out in the bathroom. Maybe just don't go. Well, you don't want to be true in. I guess.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Jesus Christ. And they hang out like on the sinks in the bathroom. They seem to have bleachers in the bathroom. I don't get it. I don't either. So they confront the barracudas who do indeed rule, confront hoax in the bathroom and what does he do? He grows claws. Close on one hand. I liked it actually, not that it was only a one hand, but I like the growing of claws and slashing up the guy's face. Sure, and we had seen that he's like his face is changing. He's getting more cat-like. Yes, he's getting sort of like ridges on his forehead and...
Starting point is 00:36:11 Yeah, his pupils could turn into ovals or something. Yes. And the skater guy says he cut you so bad you so today. the thatthe guy guy th th th th th th th th th th th th th th is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi he's hea hea hea hea hea hea he's he's he's he's he's hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea hea he's he's he's he's he's he's he's he he's he he he he he he he he. He's he. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. He's thi. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha-s tha-s. theea. theea. thi. thi. hea. thi. hea. the get that guy to the ER. Yeah, they don't. They don't. They do not. No, it puts a patch on his face. Just puts a patch on his face and then we cut to the PI drinking in a bar with the principal and you're like what? Miss Martinez is just down to fuck. Down to fuck, down to help out this private investigators? To investigate DTI. She, I just feel like she should have to go home. I don't, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. thr. tr. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. tri. th't know why she's in this movie. Love it. But here's where I have the note, really not much happening in this movie? No. Do you have my favorite line in the movie
Starting point is 00:36:51 when we cut back to mom at the house and she says, she's praying for the starving pussies? Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yep. Ayah. Ay. And hoax finally stands up to his mom. Right. Yeah. Wait, is this where he kills her or no?
Starting point is 00:37:11 That's later. It must be. Okay. I don't know. This is where I have the note, good lord, this movie is boring. Yeah. Yeah. We cut back to the projection room in the movie theater where they're playing strip poker, all these dudes.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Uh-huh. And the one, and the gang girl, of course. And the gang girl. Who gets stripped down to wearing a scarf wrapped around her breasts? It's a skullbando bra, but it's not doing any work. Oh, a bradana. Yeah. Very good. Very good. Made up for yelling shmegmo.
Starting point is 00:37:47 That's, you did. You've redeemed yourself. But we've seen them playing poker in many, many many scenes before. They love to play poker. Always been for money. Always. Let's mix it up, guys. I guess so. We've got these peanuts that we could use in lieu of money or we could do all all friends strip poker. Yeah, weird. I never played strip poker a day in my life. I don't know how to play poker. No. No. No, I've played strip pedittle. Let's pedittle.
Starting point is 00:38:12 You know when you're driving around and there's, yeah, that's okay. Yeah, if you call it and then the other team, don't worry about it. You get extra points if it's a bus, it doesn't matter. What are the points system? It's clothings. Clothings. I would play the antithesis where you'd just have to put in more clothes. Start in your underpants? Sure.
Starting point is 00:38:33 Yeah. It's a real motivation to get a pdittle. Okay, and this is where his eyes turn into marbles. Yes, and he gets into a confrontation with airhead and rags, and they run out of the room after him. Yeah. And then he comes back in and says, would it be possible to enter the game with a pair of hearts and throws them on the desk, which I thought was great. Yep, yeah, a little too Freddie.
Starting point is 00:39:00 Oh, you don't love that quip if Robert England hadn't been directing this would you have been like Nah, that's good. Maybe I mean Evil is not a very good actor Doesn't have a lot of range and also I'm pretty sure his voice was Robert England's voice When he's doing when he becomes the demon yet you might be right about that. Yeah, at least got some sort of like voice the voice. Yeah, at least got some sort of like voice. the voice. Yeah they be wearing with a good pair of hearts? Because he has a fairly screechy voice. Yeah, sure. And which I can say is a screechy voice person.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Sure. Yeah, he could have played screech and saved by the bill. He's dead too, huh? Oh, Dustin's Diamonds, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Justin's diamonds is dead. Shed this mortal coil. Dustin's Diamonds. He's with Steve Job now and Bill Gate. Oh man, so we get a scene where Palmer gets a phone call, the P.I. Marty Palmer. Oh Palmer, okay, yeah, yeah. And gets told that he's too late and then get shocked. Yeah, why does that happen? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:40:05 The phone just zaps him, yeah. And then the principal looks so different when we see her again, it's like this is the same act. It is though, it's Angela. He calls her Angela. Yeah, because they're intimate now. Yeah, they fucked. Do you think they fucked? I hope so. Yeah, me too. That's a nice part of this movie. Or fan fiction? Or somebody other than Spike Fox.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Meanwhile, Hoax has grown toenial claws and... They bust out of his shoes. And then he cuts off Marcus's hand. Yeah. Like it's nothing. Like it's nothing. And Marcus is very calm for having just had his hand cut off. He's like, ouch and wraps in a bunch of toilet paper. Yes. I don't feel like that would get, you go for the paper towels at least. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Is this what I remembered that this movie is build as a horror comedy? No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And I was like, th, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, where, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th is th is th is th. th. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. that. that. that. that. that. that. that's. that. that's that's that. that. that. that. that. that's the. th. the. that. that. that. th. th. th. I was like, where's the funny? Where are the jokies? I don't know about that. So Airhead and, uh, no, maybe it's not Airhead. It doesn't matter. Who cares? A guy and the gang girl end up on the roof? Uh-huh. Where he just had a chain? He just had a chain? Oh, you don't got a pocket chain? Oh, come a pocket chain? Where's your? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I's. I's th. I's th. I's the the the the th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I the the th. I the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I's. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the. I don't the. I'm th Oh you don't got a pocket chain? Oh come. pocket chain? Where's your pocket chain? Oh I can't charge you right now. I genuinely believed you're gonna pull it out of your sweat shorts. My cargo sweatshorts? Well that's where the cargo sweatshorts. We see that he, the, this barracuda becomes impaled on some of the movie the theater marquee. Yeah I think you're right, I think it it it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was it was a a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their pockets. their pocketed. their pocketed. their pocketed. their pocket pocketed. their. their. Put their c. Put their c. Put. Put. Put. Put. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah..... Yeah... Yeah.... Yeah. Yeah.... Yeah..... Yeah. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. e. Yeah, I think you're right. I think it was Airhead who gets stuck on the points of the pitchfork for Diablos.
Starting point is 00:41:49 For Diablos, right. And the girl screams, and then we never find out what happens to her. Nope. No, just see, totally unresolved. Okay. It's a really sticky, I need to know what happened, a gang girl. Yes, I do, because she's being chased in a horror movie, and then we see the person who's with her get killed, and then she's never heard from again. No, very dumb. Nope. The movie theater bathroom is very dirty. I would not want to go use that movie theater bathroom. That's so disgusting.
Starting point is 00:42:19 However, however, this is where hoax kicks in the stall door where Marcus is wrapping his hand in toilet paper and waves to him with his own severed hand, which I thought was also very good. It's fun, also very Freddy. Very Freddy. And then flushed the toilet and a few stalls down the toilet and the toilet fills with blood and I was like, what up with the plumbing in this place? I would not shit there. I'll tell you what. Imagine peeing and all of a sudden someone else's turn comes flip it up.
Starting point is 00:42:47 It's like having rats in your plumbing. There was also a poster on the wall and I couldn't figure out what it was. It was in the Run DMC font but it said Run DMO. Yes, I don't know what that is. And it was like, was it DMC but you didn't want to get like sued so you filled it in to look like an hell. I'm looking up run DMO. I couldn't find anything. Nothing. Other than like a C trumped. Database migration option. You got to run DMO from your target system, target HANA system. I will build HANA database. Anyway to run DMO on a virtual
Starting point is 00:43:22 machine? What is DMO? Digimmon Masters? What is happening? I got to get to to to DMO on a virtual machine? What is DMO? Digimon Masters? What is happening? I gotta get out of here. Digmon Masters occasionally. Oh, this is where he kills his mom because the parrot says, not on the couch. Which I liked. I loved. And then he kills the bird. And I was like, you leave that bird alone. But at this point in the movie, you are, you are, you are cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl cl clinging, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you are, you're, to to to to to to to tooing, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to. to, to. to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the. tooome. tooome, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too and I was like, you leave that bird alone. But at this point in the movie, you are clinging to anything that happens.
Starting point is 00:43:46 Like, just happening would be exciting at this point because nothing has been happening. These, yes. And he does say to the bird, that's what the plastic is for, asshole. Which I thought is a thing a devil would say. Oh, jeez. Geez, Miss Martinna should tho, th, th, th, th, th, or Miss, Miss Martina show up at the house? Yeah, I don't think Miss Martinez should really go in there. It's like frozen?
Starting point is 00:44:09 Yeah. Why is it frozen? Uh, let it go? Hell? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't that like Dante's hell is cold? It's not hot.
Starting point is 00:44:18 Oh, at least one of the levels of them, right? Yeah, I, the hell, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, th. It's, th. It's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr. the. to, to, to-a. to-a. thro-s. thi. thro-s, thi. thro-s, thro-them, right? Yeah. Some of them's gotta be cold. Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, froze the damn cats. Because he does deliver the line, it's a cold day in hell. Yeah, oh right. And spits on his cousin. Oh right, okay. Well, thanks for piecing that together.
Starting point is 00:44:37 Yeah, no worries. Yeah, no worries. There's a cat upstairs just like sort of taken a bath having no idea what happened to his little brethren downstairs. They're frozen into the fridge. So weird. And some other ones are having a little snack. What are they feeding that's cats? So red? It's mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. I liked that too. Because she must have been dead for like under an hour. Yeah. And I was like, what are they feeding that's cats? So red wet food? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, they. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I. And I, they. And, they. And, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're. they're. they're they they're they're. they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're. they're. they're. they're. they're. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Yeah, but what do you think they fed them in real life? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like cat food with food going. I bet just, yeah, wet food. Yeah. that's why I was afraid that the movie is going to get rapie.
Starting point is 00:45:14 Yeah. Because he starts like undressing Miss Martinez. Yeah. She's just like lightly. away. Find a phone Martinez. And then he throws her down the steps. Yes. Is she dead? Does answer? No, no, no, she gets rescued. She gets up. So she and Palmer are okay. Yes, yeah, and Spike as well. Right, because Spike then throws hoax into like a fiery pit that has opened up and then closes for whatever reason? Very in the backyard. Why does that happen? Well, they have to have their confrontation their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. their their th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoes. thoes. Yes. Yes. tho. thoes thoes thoes thoes thi. Yes. thi. thi. Yes. thoes. thoes. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. th. tho. tho. tho. to. tho. tho. tho. the tho. the tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. that has opened up and then closes for whatever reason? You're very in the backyard? Why does that happen?
Starting point is 00:45:46 Well they have to have their confrontation inside the house where a hoax is going to kill Spike, but then Spike says, hey, remember we're going to take a road trip together because I love you. Because I love you. And he's like, no, I'm not doing anything. Oh, I do want to do want want want want to do want to do want to do want to do want to do the road I to do the road I to do the road I to do the road. I to do th. I to do to do the road. Oh, I to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do their their. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Oh, I tho, I tho. tho. tho. thooo. thoooo. thooa. thooooa. thooooooo Yeah. And then Spike throws him into the fiery help it. Right, because Spike, as Wikipedia told me, realizes that evil ed cannot be saved. How does he know that? He's an idiot. Yeah, I don't know. He's a 35 year old high school. Okay. And there's also this extremely shitty looking like green screen scene of Ms. Martinez and Marty Palmer going across the pneumatic tube to like the shed in the backyard where spike lives.
Starting point is 00:46:33 Yes, I'm glad that the pneumatic tube served several purposes, one of which is an escape route. But it's like so unbelievably obvious that they're not there. It was like, oh my God, it was so bad. Even the fiery hellpit looks very, very shitty. Yeah, yeah. I don't think this movie had a budget. No, no.
Starting point is 00:46:53 Then my last note, I don't even know what this means. It says getting a jelly donut on a photo of someone. So we cut back to Mark Dark. And he's in the 976 evil offices th, the evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil. the evil. the evil. the evil. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to Mark Dark. Mark Dark. And he's in the 976 evil offices. Yeah. And he's got a folder with some evil man in it. And he gets jelly donut on it. And then puts a picture of a hoax in that man's place. What does that mean? That he's in hell now with that guy, I guess? He's like just like that guy's friend now? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, the other buds. But Mr. Dark was the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the devil the evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil. the evil. the the the the the the the the the the the evil evil evil. the evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil. the the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil. the devil's. the devil. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Did he's like just like that guy's friend now? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, Buds and Hill. And Mr. Dark was the devil the whole time. No, I get that part.
Starting point is 00:47:29 I just didn't know who the guy was. Oh no, I don't think we'd ever met that man before. Yeah, no. Well, that doesn't make any sense. Katie, Alan, Catherine. Alan. Ninn-nan. I'm going to ask you to rate this stuff. Read them swimming, Alan, please.
Starting point is 00:47:53 I'm going to give it a two, because Robert England seems like a decent human being. He does seem like a nice guy. This movie is fucking awful, and I'm glad that I've avoided it for all these years. Wow, I am surprised at your vitriol, because yes, it's terrible, but so are a lot of movies of this era and you like those. Were you just in a bad mood?
Starting point is 00:48:16 I don't think, no, it doesn't have that certain... A genusqua? Jeannisqua? Spent hundreds of hours together over eight years and you two could say genusqua at the same time! God! Literally hundreds of hours. Sharing a brain. But it doesn't have, like, it's not a neon maniacs. It's not, um, yeah, I mean, I mean it's not even Teen Wolf.
Starting point is 00:48:47 It doesn't have like, there's no like, adorable. There's no like charismatic character that you're like, I care about this dude and I don't want to see him go to hell. No, just because you got horned up watching him phone. I did, I did. That was so weird for me, because you know I hate intimacy. I think that woman was just very attractive. She was really attractive. And like, well, this is hot. There was something real sexy about her just in a leather jacket. Yeah, it's totally impractical and actually very disgusting when you think about sweating while fucking
Starting point is 00:49:16 wearing someone's jacket. Your boobs covered in armpit sweat from a leather jacket. Oh, and the back. that that that jacket. You that jacket. You that jacket. You that jacket. You that jacket. You that jacket. You that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that jacket. that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi th. th. th. I th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was th. I was thi. I was thi. I was really thi. I was really thi. thi. I was really thi. I was really thi. I was really thi. I was really thi. I wasthe back of your neck, just the collar on that thing. And you know that jacket smelled like your car noir. Yes. Just dripping down your back. So yeah, a two. But no, it just doesn't have that, that, that, that, that zing that other movies of this year. I mean, there's plenty, like, I'd rather rather, I'd that, I'd that Zing that other movies of this year. I mean, there's a there's plenty like, I'd rather watch that
Starting point is 00:49:45 slime ball movie with a bowling alley. I've seen that movie twice. Yeah, I'd rather, I'd rather, like that. I've seen this movie twice now too, yeah. That has a charm to it. Like this just lacked any kind of charm. That has a lot more titties and that great puppet. Sure, and linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And linear. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. And. that. that. that. And. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I. that. I. I. that movie. I. I. that movie. that movie. I. that movie. that movie. that movie. that movie. that movie. that movie. I. I. I. that. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. that. I. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I. that. that. that. that. I. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. way. So what did you think? Is this a 10? Is this a rare child's play too? It's 9 plus 7, which is 16 minus 6, so yes, it's a 10. Oh, nice. Good, yeah. No, I remember this as being fun and harmless. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:19 And I thought you would like it. OK. Okay. Based on the era, and the fact that I sort of remembered there being movie punks in it. Yeah. It's not, I didn't think it was as bad as you did, but then as the more we talked about it, the more I realized it was terrible. So I'll give it a three just because I want to be better than, give it a better score than you did. hear of such a lot of so much a bad. Yeah, but it just, oh man, it did not hit. No. It did not hit. No. No. It's okay though. That happens. It happens to the best of us. Do you
Starting point is 00:50:52 want to do a movie that might hit next week? I would love to do an entertaining film. What is it? It's a contemporary film? Oh, a contemporary film released this year. Just showing up on formerly HBO Max, now Max, because HBO was too hoity-toi for the Midwest. Wait, what? That's what I heard is why they got rid of the HBO because it has like this air of being like too, I don't know, like prestige TV, intellectual or something for the Midwest. My God, are you serious? Because the guy who ran Discovery is now running HBO and all that stuff so he wants to make it more of like a look how many kids I have type show. Oh no. Yeah. See when I saw
Starting point is 00:51:37 Max on the icon on my TV icon, thumbnail? Sure. Avatar. Yeah. I was like, when did I get Cinemax? Oh, Friday nights are going to get a lot more exciting. Skinnemax. That's Spikes in one of them. What is wrong with me? I like that you admit that the woman was what made it sexy, but you still won spike in it.
Starting point is 00:52:06 It's like how I told you earlier that Gavin Rossdale was how I knew I was straight. It's kind of that whole problem. I know I'm straight because of a lot of hair gel. Yeah, oh god, yeah. And those cheekbones. Oh, sure. No, very handsome, man. Got a machine head. It's got a machine hat.
Starting point is 00:52:26 Better than I'm not rise. There's no sex in your violence. No, there is no sex in your violence. That's probably a good thing. I'm not sure. Green to red, machine head. Anyway, we're doing Evil Dead Rise. Evil Dead Rise or Evil Dead Rises? I think it's Rises. Okay, Abel Dead Rises. I could be wrong. I'm often wrong. No, it's Able Dead Rise. twenty-twenty-three. Starring Michael Rooker. Who? I've never seen it before in my life.
Starting point is 00:53:00 I can't believe after all these years you're still friends with me. Wouldn't I be your fantastic? Shut your mouth. I will. We're both just sitting here rubbing our eyes in sadness. We got to wrap this up. I'm rubbing my eyes in this is the most potent allergy season of my adult life. Oh yeah I feel terrible. Yeah. Yeah so we're gonna even if rise it's gonna be really I'm hoping's fun. I've heard nothing but good things. Also heard nothing but good things. It's on Max. It's on Max. It's on Max. No. Former the HBO Max. It's going to be called evil NEDRises and it's going to just be a dude rising? See, I was picturing a penis wearing one of those Halloween headbands with the devil horns on it that you wear when you don't have another costume.
Starting point is 00:53:49 Sure. Yeah, but it's skinnex and they didn't show actual weaners and stuff on that. Really? Yeah, it was all softcore. Huh. If I remember correctly. Because it wasn't until the Spice Channel came along that you saw full. thua. thia. thia. thia. thiiiiiiiii. to to to to to to to to to the to to to thi. thi. to thi. to to to to see to see to see to see to see to see to see toen. thi. toen. toen. toen. toen. toen. toen. to me to me to me toen. to me to me to me to that's that's that's that's that's that's that's toen. that's toen. toen. toen. toen. toen. toen. to to to to to to to to to the th. the th. the the the. the the the. the. the. the the th. the th. the the the th. the the th. theanananananananananananann. I toe that you saw full penetration on the TV. Well, I don't know if that's true. Okay, okay. Because I feel like HBO had real sex, which I feel like there was a lot of text on. Yeah. Yeah, but there was also like that, real sex was that like, eh?
Starting point is 00:54:18 Nudist colony pretty cool, huh? And you're like, oh, why are you all in your 60s? Why are you all leaving pubs everywhere? Like my beard hair, but it came from your butt's whole. It's like, don't cook. No, underpants on, when your pubs are falling out. Get yourself a pair of sensible white boxer pandoloons. Unbel Ted Rines. Why are you trying to stop me? Somebody stop me. Somebody stop me. Oh boy. Come back for that. It'll be fun. Yeah, it's gonna be great. It's
Starting point is 00:54:54 probably. The two of us are going to be together. It's gonna be wonderful and perfect. Delightful. In the meantime, Patreon. to be P. top. their today. to be great. to be. the. the the the the the the the the the. t. t. the. t. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. Somebody. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the t. the t. the t. t. the t. the t. the the t. the t. t. the t. t. t. to. to. t. t. to. t. t. t. Dred episode, which we record before this. Oh my God, what a film. Which again is why I want something that's actually fun to watch. Yeah, we had two, two bummers. Two busts this week. I would say like, it's that thing of like, we were so riding high on All About Evil. Yeah. If you haven't't listed that episode, it's a really good time. And you probably haven't, judging by the numbers. Go check that out. Watch the movie. And then the movie's fantastic. So good. And then these two movies were just like, oh, you reset
Starting point is 00:55:34 the ride. I'm back to like zero on this shit. I know. I know we fucked up. I'm ho about this on the Patreon podcast, but I will yell about it here too. This was Stolona Paloza Month. Not a single person voted for Rocky Five. Not a single one. We've never had a movie get zero votes before. No. No. No. And that's our top tier patrons. That's just the top tier patrons. So. Oh, there's a lot more patrons out there. I feel like they would have wouldn't have a the th a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the th. th. they. th. th. their th. th. the their their th. th. th. the. the. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. I. the. the. the. patrons. That's just the top tier. So. Oh, there's a lot more patrons out. I feel like they wouldn't have done me so dirty. No. Because they know how much I love Rocky 5. You do.
Starting point is 00:56:10 I love Rocky. I might go home and watch Rocky. No, I'm going to watch Rocky 4. No, I'm going to watch over the people on Twitter who suggested movies. I put out a tweet asking for movie suggestions. Alan's really out there doing the Lord's work with this. I believe it was crap bag that told us that Evil Dead Rise was on HBO. Yes. Because we always like struggle, like, what should we do? So I wanted to get some input from y'all. Don't pick the most obscure thing you've ever seen in your life? No one will listen to that episode. We have to make a living here.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Also, is this the time that we admit that whenever we've told people we put it on the list, the list has never existed? Shush! I might have to edit that out. Okay, do it. There's be a long beep. I think they know the list doesn't exist. I don't think they know that, Alan. But thank you to everyone who suggested movies. You guys are great.
Starting point is 00:57:11 Yeah, you know, fantastic. Go to the Discord. We haven't sent you there in a while. It's great. Oh yeah, if you go to our website, you can get a link to the Discord, anywhere that you can find us to our discord with an invitation there. So sign up for that. It's really fun. Really nice. Yeah, so sweet.
Starting point is 00:57:27 So fucking nice. So many good suggestions for things to read and watch and video games to play. Pet pictures. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's no negativity. It's all positivity. There's like a long conversation about hot dogs on? That makes sense. That tracks. They say baggle up there. Sorry, I can. So, on that note, oh and also, a shout out to the person who bought three t-shirts the other day. What?
Starting point is 00:57:54 So I bought three t-shirts? Yeah. My God, you're a super fan and I love you. I'm gonna send you a picture. A fourth t-shirt. Yeah. Thanks for listening to another episode of Wearwulf Ambulance. Bye. Goodbye! Maybe acts are not dead pools, civeties inside the pool. No way to wait, let's keep it fiddles to bea'tomorrowed reviews. Kill a glass at the face, killing in the atmosphere,
Starting point is 00:58:44 Appyrt's a basketcase, please make a good-, a peer-in-time casket case, please make I continue to break. E&T. A road of comedy with his hungry Brian from wings and Stephen King. E&T. We live deliciously bad temperatures obesely come today.
Starting point is 00:59:05 A paranormal act in tidies from Mr. Rogers to the EFT, EFT. EMT.

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