Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 462- Inferno (1980)
Episode Date: January 22, 2024In this week's episode, Katie 'celebrates' a milestone birthday with a gift for Allen: the 1980 Dario Argento film "Inferno." It's pretty much exactly what you might expect. Special topics for your co...nsideration include: bakery smells, really enjoying just getting into a weird hole, refusing to move a camera, Great Depression beds, and late night hot dogs. LISTENER WARNING: there is some real gross animal cruelty in this movie, so please don't watch it if you won't be able to un-see it. DARIO! What a nutbar. We have been celebrating his catalog for years:  Episode 23- "Suspiria," Episode 84- "Demons," Episode 185- "Deep Red," Episode 306- "Tenebrae," Episode 325- "The Bird with the Crystal Plumage," Episode 369- "Phenomena," and Episode 445- "Opera." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to all of our action movie episodes. leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at werewolfambulance@gmail.com we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hi Alan.
Hello, Katie.
How are you?
How are you?
Oh, the birthday, son.
Oh, God, he did it already.
I turned 40. By the time this episode comes out, I will be 40.
And I know I've been saying I'm 40 for the last year and a half.
At least.
Just to ease myself into the idea and I have to say I am not eased.
Not eased at all.
No. I feel like but.
Well, I have to say you're a cool 40. 40 is the new the new the new the new the new the new 20 is the new 20 is the new 20 is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. th. th. th. tho. to to to to to to th. to th. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. toe. to. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to. to. to. to That is decidedly untrue. 40 is the new 15. You're not my real dad.
So if you want to borrow the car just let me know. I don't have a license yet.
I'm 15 but I'll take the car yeah. I'll take your car out for a spin. Yeah. Yeah.
Hell yeah, taking around the park a couple times. Go do donuts like the kids love to do?
The kids are doing that.
They probably put it on their Tick-Tocks.
I'm sure they put it on the Tick-Tockers are a new thing.
Uh, Snapchat?
No.
Vines?
Oh, I miss those.
I knew what thank you. It's good to be alive. 40 more. 40 at least. Oh God. I'll
be happy with an additional 40. I'm happy to be, I guess it's not that bad to be at the
midway point. Right? But no, come on. I'm getting near the midway point. Are you going to be a hundred,
A hundred? A hundred?
Then you're definitely going to have time to do my funeral.
So I picked a movie for my birthday because I wanted to give a gift to my friend Alan and
I've realized now I've made a terrible mistake.
Inferno at the Dario Orgento.
This one opens on a knife and I for one I'm shocked.
Just fucking stunned.
Reading up on this movie I was also shocked to learn that the idea for this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie this movie thi. thi. thi thi. the thi. thi. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th shocked. Just fucking stunned. Reading up on
this movie I was also shocked to learn that the idea for this movie was
Dariah Nickelode's. Yeah and she was like yeah I didn't get a credit for it
but I fought so fucking hard for Susperea getting a credit I just
didn't want to do that again. With her partner, her this man that she has a child
with. That murders her in every movie. Yeah. Yeah.
What a dickhead.
Genuinely a dickhead.
But a dickhead who makes a beautiful, beautiful movie.
Sure.
Yeah.
With the interesting people.
Very interesting people.
You get the Bava's on board?
Both Mario and Lomberto worked on this movie?
Oh did they? I didn't realize that. So this is the sequel to Susperea though not a direct sequel sort of
like in in a theme. Okay, okay. And then is Tenabre the third one of that trilogy? No,
there was one in 2007 called Mother of Tears. Oh okay. That was the final installment in the mother trilogy. Wow that that a while. It did, it did, and I have not seen it.
This and Tenabre are very close together, right? In time, like a year or two apart? Because that is such a good movie.
Yeah. And this is... This one is like taking Dream Logic to like just to the like like maybe you had too much Coca-Cola
before you want to sleep or something. Yeah it's dream logic but you just like
buried it and then dug it up again you're like I don't know what this is.
You woke up and tried to go back into the dream and then you were just like
riding a roller coaster with your like fifth grade teacher whose teeth were falling out and you were like, Mrs. Strauss, no. Yeah. Yeah. So we're in New York, which I have to,
to Dario Argendo's credit, he actually filmed some scenes in New York. I was like, oh, that's
really Central Park. Okay, all right. Way to go, Dario. You went to New York. And I do have to say,
I had warned you that there's a potential cat violence in this movie. Potential! There's a little cat agitation that happens, but I, every time I watch this
movie I assume that the cats in the bag were in the bag and thrown into the water.
Why do you assume that? Because it's Tarragento. He's not going to have respect the
life of cats. But William Lustig also worked on this movie, who is like the director of Maniak Cop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And he was like, yeah, they were like, it was like a robotic mechanism in there.
And then, yeah, so they were no kids.
I can't believe you thought that man would agree to drown those kittens on camera,
not Darryo Argento, the actor.
Who would?
People would. People th th th thro people thro people thro people thro k k k k k k k k k k k k k k k k k k kk tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. theea. thea. thea. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the. the. the. It's People throw kittens into the river all the time.
Well, not everyone.
It's not like you might cruise through a stop sign once in a while, you know?
I will bring Exhibit A Milo and Onus.
Oh, man.
So we meet Rose.
Yeah.
Who's a lovely American girl here in New York.
Very American, very New York.
And she is reading a book?
Yeah, the Three Mothers book.
Yeah.
The Alphro mention where we get introduced to the idea of the three mothers.
Susperium?
Sperium.
Lactate.
Lactic acid.
Lacrimorum, Susperiorum, and Tenebrorum, which is why I thought
Tenabre it was the third one. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's Mother of Darkness, which
is the particular mother that we're dealing with in this movie.
Oh, are we? Yeah, that's the mother that's in this movie.
Because the mother of tears is in the final movie. And the mother of sis of si si si si si si si si si si si si th. th. th. th. That th. That th. That th. That th. That they they they they they they they they are they are th. That th. That th. That th. That is th. That is th. That is th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That. That is th. That is th. That is th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That's th. That in the final movie and the mother of sighs, mother's superiori orioriorium. I feel like they weren't doing that when they made that
movie? No, no. I feel like they came up with it after that movie. This is a real
Darth Vader is Luke's father situation where they were like... Wait is he
the first movie there's like nothing about that. Oh interesting the first movie the the the the the the the the the the the the the the first the the the first the the the the first their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. I their. I their their. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their. their. their their their their. their their. I. I. I their their their their their their your dad. Oh. But isn't everybody, isn't that like a big surprise?
Sure, yeah, yeah, Luke surprised?
Okay.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Oh, really?
And then he gets his hand cut off.
Oh wow.
And parstrikes back.
It's good movie.
I only know that on can't hardly wait. And nothing after 1998.
Sure.
So we're getting this voiceover of someone reading this book, horrible houses, filthy
secrets, like fucking Dario.
It's like the opening credits and I'm already like, oh no.
They do this spiel about where all the keys are so fast that I actually missed it and went back,
but I still don't know where the first key was. The keys are in the houses houses, the house, the house, the house, the houses, the houses, the houses, the houses, the houses, the houses, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, the house, their, their, their, their, th, th, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, th. We're, we're, th. We're, th. We're, we're, we're, th. We're, th. We're, we're, we're, th. We're, we're, we're, the, th. We're, the, th. the, the the the th. the the the th. the the the th. th. th. the th. We're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're the, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're getting, we're their, we're the the the the that I actually missed it and went back, but I still don't know where the first key was?
The keys are in the houses where the mothers reside and they're under the souls of their
feet.
Is the thing that keeps saying?
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So, all the keys were under the souls of their feet.
Yeah.
So there should be a key in Rome, in Freiburg, Freiburg, Germany? Why Freiburg, Germany? That's where
Sospiria takes place. You're right, okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And New York.
New York. New York City, as you're like... I really do though. So she's got a set of
three keys on her table but I think they're unrelated keys. I think they're just keys to her apartment. I think so. Okay, all right Dario, you to you to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thii. thi's thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. F. th. F. th. F. th. th. th. F. th. th. th. F. F. th. th. to. F. I think so. Okay, all right, Dario, you do it, you set it up.
She writes a letter to her brother Mark,
dear brother Mark.
Dear brother Mark.
Isn't it 1980?
No one speaks.
No one speaks like this.
My dearest Lorraine, I have lost my leg in a better man people. And she's writing it in calligraphy. It's very strange. But not even, not even in like the top 50 strange things are going to happen in this movie.
No. I mean, they've just finished the opening credits and there's an ominous sting on
a pencil drawing of a building and then you see the building and it's like, okay, I assumed it was a drawing of a building.
Do you know who did the soundtrack to this movie? No.
Keith Emerson,
Oh, Emerson Lake and Palmer.
To which I have the very old man note of, the post-art is very reminiscent of ELP's brain
cell and surgery.
I'm assuming that's a nod to Keith Emerson.
What else could it be? There's the Giger painting on that album that's like the skull head with the lady's mouth.
I wouldn't know that, but I trust you.
And then this movie's poster was a skull top
in a woman's mouth.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
The poster is bad.
A lot like the skull later.
How dare you when death shows up? It looks like it's made of paper moshay? It looks like it's made of rubber! Yeah, this is where I have notes that just say things
like, well mailboxes haven't really changed much, huh? Well that's me turning 40
isn't it? We really need to invest more in the Postal Service. I mean, I think if it ain't broke, you know? Oh, so she goes to mail her letter, to their brother th brother th brother, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I thate, th mail her letter to mark her tearest brother. Tears brother in Rome.
And then like walks across the street and she was reading about how
there's something going on in the cellar of all these houses. Because the book she's reading
is written by the architect that made these houses.
Zverly. For them, the the matters. Yes. The three matters.
And so she's like walking back across the street and she's very drawn to the seller. To the sewer great. Maybe the teenage me and just turtles are in there. Oh, that would have been great. Yeah.
Then she has to stop by and see the antique shop owner. He's lit like he's in an amusement park haunted house. I do not know why he has his antique store looking.. this. th th th the the the the the th the the the the th the the the the the the street. the street. the street. their their their their their their the antique shop owner? He's lit like he's in an amusement park haunted house. I do
not know why he has his antique store looking like this. He always looks like
the Dracula but he's on a smoke break? Yes, Dracula is gonna get back to it in
five. And they're having this conversation she's like, and in the book it
had mentioned that there's like a smell around all these houses as well,
and she's like, there's a bittersweet smell.
Yeah.
And the Dracula antique antique, man,
it's just like, well, I always assumed that was from the cake factory.
Cake factory?
Do you need a bakery?
A bakery? And I have to say, I live down the street the street the street the street the street the street the street the street from Patty Cake Bakery and it smells spectacular. You would not complain. Bitter sweet?
No, it smells like fucking donuts and it rules.
Oh man, there was a spot on a 376 in Philadelphia where you drive in this underpass and there
used to be a dunnex that would funnel smells into the underpass and it would always just
smell like donuts.
It's just smell like donuts.
It's a nice. It's an accurate th smell like th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell th smell thii smell thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thoom! thoom! thoan thi thi tho-s, tho-s, tho-s, the the the the the the the tho tho the the tho the tho the tho tho the tho thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. No thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. tho-s, tho-s, tho-s. thoananananananannough tho-s. thoanannough thoannoughts,pee. Mm-hmm. It's a good donut was very nice. It's an accurate smell there in
Philadelphia. Sure, yeah, we just all piss on the streets constantly. Brianna.
Stop pissing in the streets. He says something to her about how our very lives are governed
by the dead. The only real mystery is that our lives are governed by dead people.
Yeah, and then he's like good night. Bye-bye. What? How are our lives governed by dead people?
Well if you think about it won't you? Like Jesus. Not a real person but try another. Catherine. Eleanor Roosevelt. Eleanor Roosevelt. She's dead. Yeah. Yeah, she's dead. So they say. Not a real person. Oh, the real person. Oh, the real person. What? What? th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. Bye. Bye. th. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. th. th. Bye. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. thi. thi. th.anor Roosevelt. She's dead.
Yeah, she's dead.
So they say.
Not a real person.
I'm an Eleanor Roosevelt denier.
Eleanor Roosevelt was an inside job.
Show me one photo of her.
One.
Eleanor Roosevelt would not melt at that temperature.
I just have notes that are just cats. Look at these
lovely kitties, these lovely little kitties. They do not look like strays.
They look like they were like, everybody bring your cats in. Bring your cat to Dario Day. Yes. All right here's Oreo, here's Pumpernickel, here we go Well, it's in Rome, so here's spaghets.
That's true.
Mutzarelle.
Muzerell.
So she goes into the sewer, because that's into the cellar.
I'm sorry.
Yes.
And she's holding this later, which is doing fuck all.
But I do love the old-timey movie thing of like, Yeah. Good work, Dario. And she's also dressed for adventure in like her like pencil skirt,
and her like little Mary Jane healed shoes that she has on.
Which she had been wearing just to seemingly hang out in her apartment?
Okay. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. She finds a substantial leak.
I feel like someone should be concerned about this. Oh, it's fine.
All the, do you don't have the water pipes in your basement that just constantly pour
water onto the floor?
And the ones that have built me a room, a room under the water?
Oh, that ballroom that we just fill with water?
That's very eerie.
Yeah.
I like that. I mean, I think that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the most the most the most the most the most the most that is the most that is the most that is the most the most the most that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is that is the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most the most dream. I the most dream. the most dream. the most dream. the most dream. the. the. the. that is the. that is thi. that is that happens in this movie. Yeah, it's weird. Uh-huh. Because Dum-Dum drops her keys into this hole.
They seem to have just been placed upon her shirt.
And so when she bent over, they fell in.
Oh, how will I get my boobs wet?
Yeah.
I know.
In my white shirt and slip that I'm wearing.
She just gets in the hole of water, NBD, just slides right in. I have a question that I've written down for you.
What would it take for you to go in that water?
Having to save my child life.
Yeah.
That's all I think I would save your life.
I'd go in to save your life, yeah.
You know, it was just like, mm-hmm.
It's basement water.
Yeah. She's literally in a basement filled
with long things. Yeah, I'm sure there's a rake, a broom, anything. A golf club. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Go and find the bu. the leak that you have I lost my keys. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. Anything. A the the the the th. A. A th. A th. A the th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. A th. I th. I th. I th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's. It. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I was th. I was the th. I was the th. I was th. She's th. She's the building super and be like hey that leak that you have I lost my keys. The one that has a ballroom under it my keys are in there.
So she just gets in the hole and opens her eyes under the water. Uh-huh. She can hold her
breath a while. She is a maniac for holding her. I mean she should be going and pulling
oysters out of the ocean. This is ridiculous. She is skilled. Yeah. the thi. the th. She is th. She is th. She is th. She is th. She is th. She is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. the the the the the th. the the the the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the hole. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the. the. the. the. the. lot of shit down there. I could not figure out what fell because it just looked like a brooch and then I was like oh it's her key. Yeah you don't
realize it till they're hanging on to like the little ledge that they catch on.
If it's a piece of true you're like oh shucks. Yeah that one's gone. Yeah. Oh my god. The bottom of it though there's there's carpet thou there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's their there's their there's their there's their there's their their tho tho thi their tho' tho' tho' tho' tho' thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thiiii thiii' thi thi thi thi thi th weird. Yeah. Yeah. And the fact that like she
swims down past a chandelier that's hanging from the ceiling, it's cool. It's cool.
But then what happens? She just finds her keys and just lightly places her fingers over them and doesn't like
pick them up and swim the fuck out of there? This is also where I wrote 10 bucks says Dario can't can't swim. Because it does not, you know how like you always think the Cronenberg has never
fucked anybody?
I think Dario Argento cannot swim.
I think he's unclear on how bodies of water work as evidenced by what happens later in the movie.
She, she puts her hand over her keys, like if she moves so fast, she'll scare them and they'll run away from her. Yes, she's catching a baby bunny. That's a long lingering shot on her fingers too.
And I'm sure that means something. Yeah, oh 100% yeah. But then what happens? Well then a skinned body
comes up and knocks against her feet. It sure does. So she swims up and she hits the ceiling and the corpse is tickling in her tootsies? Oh my god for so long the the their. And their. And their. And th. And th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the the to. to. to. to. the to. the the the. the. the. the. thi. th. thtickling her tutsis. Oh my god for so long and then it just keeps like booping her.
Yeah, he's just swimming up and booping her.
Which I just like to think that Dario's underwater going, poop poop with the body.
Can't swim. Because she also does a lot of underwater screaming and I was like,
I do not think it works like its nature. You refill your lungs.
Look, listen, what's the O and H2O?
Oxygen, oxygen, exactly, you can breathe water.
More bad advice from your friends that wear off ambulance.
She gets out and runs away without those kicky little shoes.
She does. I was like, lady, you're in New York City. Do not go outside barefoot. She does it, though. Yeah, she's gross. And we see, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, what, what, what, listen, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, listen, listen, listen, listen, like, lady, you're in New York City, do not go outside barefoot. She does it though.
Yeah, she's gross.
And we see like a black-gloved hand pick up what I think was her lighter maybe?
Yes.
And it's like, oh yeah, the black gloves.
Here we are, it's an Italian movie.
But strangely, like a black velvet glove.
Yeah, they were like swaddy, yeah.
Yeah, they. not your standard black leather glove. So you know this is not a yallow movie. That wasn't even close.
Blah! So she's in the lobby of her building, which is a horror building. I would never live in a place so dark.
How depressed would you be? Maybe she's an early goth. Maybe. I don't know, those kicky little Mary James? It's true.
It's true. We hear like some whispering, I had to turn my TV up very loud. to catch that she's been nosing around. That was pretty much all I got out of that.
Yeah, because there's like a there's like a house marm in her apartment building. Who Benito Mussolini once called the most beautiful woman of all time. Yeah, Uncle Benny. Yeah, yeah, it's not. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. It's, th. It's like. It's like. It's like, th. It's like, th. There. There. There's like, it's like, it's like, th. There's like, th. There's like, th. There's like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like a like, like a like a like a like a the like, like a the like a the like a the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the the the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to. to. to. to. to. to. time. Yeah. Uncle Benny. Yeah, yeah, it's not great. My Nana always insisted that she was related to Sophia Loren, who was at one
point related to Benito Mussolini. So I'm basically a Mussolini. Oh no.
Yeah, isn't that wild? I didn't realize that Sophia Loren was related to
Mussolini. Yeah, through marriage I think so. That's not like I, not his blood. Yeah. Also if that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the their their their their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that's. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I's. I. I. I. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm it's not like I, not his blood. Yeah.
Also, if that's an option for a most beautiful woman, she's going to win, right?
Sophia Lorenzo is going to win.
Yeah, yeah.
She's also in Suspirea.
She's like the teacher in Susperea.
I thought those chompers looked familiar.
Yeah, you don't forget George Washington teeth. She also is clearly just doing her best to phonetically say the words, and she is really,
she's doing a Jackie Daytona of annunciations.
How do people talk, uh?
That's how we speak in Susperea.
Inferno.
And then we just see that the building is falling down.
I don't know, it needs to be inspected badly.
The cellars collapsing and or something.
Cut to Rome in April.
Yeah, what?
What?
I like that we did not establish a month earlier, but like now you have to know what
month it is.
No, it did say New York, and to New York, to New York too, it's like that same night in April. You're like, well, it can't be the same night in both places happening concurrently
because they're like six to eight hours apart depending on daylight savings time and region.
How dare you?
Yeah, well.
I'm talking up to another thing Dario Gento doesn't know.
Time zones, how the fuck do they work?
We are in a music the class. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their the only class I failed in college was intro to music theory? Really? Cannot read it. Confuses me. Sure, sure. Mark. We meet Mark. Mark. He's wearing a suit
because you wear a suit and people respect you. He also has the most beguiling haircut.
Like I was just trying to wrap my brain around how that haircut works. Whenever he turns to the side you realize how much bigger his hair is than the rest of his body. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he, th. He, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. te, te, te, te. te. te. te. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the, the, the, the, the, turns to the side, you realize how much bigger his hair is than the rest of his body, because he has no butt.
He's just a buttless man.
And then he's just this giant lollipop head of hair on this buttless body.
But like his ears are like cupped by his hair?
Like the feathering comes down over the ear.
Yeah, it seems harder to hear.
It seems like a hindrance. Yes. What are you doing, Mark? You're in classical music class, as I called it,
rather than music theory class, which is what it is.
Classical music class.
When he said musicology later, I was like,
oh, the Prince album.
He's seeing this like insane-looking woman.
He's the the hot Dario Argento hot
lady in this movie. It was like he had to get one. Yeah, but he didn't know
what to do with her. So he's like, get in that cab. Getting that cab. Get in the
cab later. I need, I don't know, a woman with like cat-like eyes and just like a lot a lot of hair, what do you have for me? Why is he seeing her? thua? thua? thia? thia? thia? thia? thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thian. thi? thi? thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thine, thine, thine, thine, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, th th thin, thin, thin, theeeee. thin, th thin, okay, okay. So I have a note that says,
Cat lady staring at him, does he have diarrhea?
Because he's just looking at her going,
ugh, oh.
And she's turned all the way around looking at him
with an air of disgust like you might someone having public diarrhea.
Just stroke at her pussy, staring at him.
She does not have headphones on in music
theory class. She's just holding a long-haired cat. And then Sarah is next to him
his music class buddy. Yes. And she's like keeps tapping and me like no no we're on
this page. What a bitch let him fucking look at this. Well seemingly Sarah cannot see the cat lady. No she doesn't seem to, but she also does not look up from that music.
No.
Mm-mm.
Nope.
Yeah, here's what I wrote about her is the kind of woman Dario loves to stab.
That woman, yeah.
She's mouthing something to him.
I don't know.
Your sister wrote you a letter from New York City.
Yeah, he picks up the mail, looks distressed, puts it back down.
Why?
Who can say?
Who can say?
And then he takes off.
And leaves it there.
Doesn't say by to Sarah?
No.
Who I just referred to for a while until I find out her name is Sarah as nosy Nancy?
Yeah.
I'm reading a letter from his sister. So nabby. So she she she she she she she she she she she is th. th, she is th, she is th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. thi, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th th thi. thi. thi. Who thi. Who thi, thi, thi, to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi So she is in a cab, bitching about the
smell, she's like a strange smell, sickly, sweet, and the cab he's like, I don't
know, falafel and tasty cakes for lunch. I don't know. What do you want? What do you want?
Maybe it's because you're covered in diarrhea from your friends. Right. She reads this letter from his sister and decides she wants to go to the address that his sister has provided. Oh yeah, via
Bagani or whatever she says. Yeah, which is a library of some kind of philosophy as far as I can tell?
Yeah. And it does say open to the public on it. Is that what that said? Yeah, okay, all right. Yeah, that was like my piecing together of Italian there. Good for you. Thank you. Yeah. So she, but she pricks
her finger when she's getting out of the cab. Yeah, was that cab booby trapped? Yeah.
There's a lot of weird booby traps in this movie that don't make any sense, but okay. And then she runs up and Joe Biden to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thricks. thricks. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th she doesn't walk up first.
For a while, she just stands there in the rain, this woman just loves to stand in the
rain.
This is just a film of women being wet.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're not into that?
You know?
I wouldn't say no.
I wouldn't say no.
When there's that long lingering shot of her, like kind of like parted lips soaking wet outside.
I was like, all right, yeah, that's working.
Well done, Dario.
Yeah, she's lovely.
Sure.
Yeah, she's really love those lizard painted tiles
on the outside of the building.
Yeah.
Very cool.
I was like, did you been there? Get away with that because it's your birthday.
I get away with that because I get away with it.
So Joe Biden, she goes up and Joe Biden's like,
hey there, darling, do you need any help with anything?
Let me sniff your hair.
No malarkey from you.
You know my friend Corn Pop.
But we have to re-elect him, because what will happen if we don't?
What are we going to do?
Do you want a turd or a fascist turd?
I guess I'll just take the regular turd?
Yeah, that turits like so old it hardly smells anymore, you know?
It's just a desicated turn.
So, Joe Biden asked for she needs anything.
And she's like, yeah, I'm looking for the book of three mothers.
Which is right behind her.
He's like, oh, it's right there.
It's right behind you.
I'm Dario Jentzo, and I don't feel like moving the camera.
Okay.
So I was very torn between whether that is a very for her or what you said. And honestly, six of one half dozen
of the others. Yeah, for sure. I mean it all works in the end, but yes. And this is a hell of a set.
This library with like Florida's ceiling bookshelves, but the ceiling is, I don't know,
how many stories up? Of 20? Yeah, a million. A million stories. It's the biggest building
in Rome. I mean, again, like, yes, storytelling may be a little bit inept.
I think inept is a good descriptor. But like, the eye that him and everybody that's on his crew
has for how things should look. Yeah. Especially in this time period,
is fucking insane.
It's fantastic.
And plus you get like, I get to use Rome as my backdrop for everything.
So like, and like all these buildings that just like have been here for fucking ever and
filled with books and are gorgeous and it's wicked cool.
Yeah.
And why are architects always a cultists?
I don't know. There's something in that. Is it the angles, maybe. So we, we learn about that an an an an an that an that an that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect that an architect, that an architect, the architect, the architect, that an architect, that that that that that the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, that's the architect, the architect, the architect, the architect, the the a architect, their, their, the, the, their, their, their, their, their, the the in that. Is there angle, is it the angles?
That's the angles maybe. So we, we learn about an architect and alchemist, which seemed very
different because architecture is about math as far as I know. Yeah, but so's alchemy. You've got formulas
and stuff you got to put together. To make gold? Mm-hmm. Okay. Disappeared under mysterious circumstances many years ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You think he's dead?
No.
Of course not.
It's not dead.
So this is who Dario or Geno is.
Like, come on, lady.
Like, what?
What?
Don't steal from libraries. This is who Dario or Gendo is. He's a man who sees nothing wrong
with stealing a book from a library. It's free. They let do you just take it.
Get a card. Check it out. Go above board. Libraries are for everyone. And then there's a man
whispering her name from the stacks. Yes, wet women hearing whispers. This is this movie's subtitle.
Yeah. And then a guy walking around going, it's closing time. Yeah, have. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the book. the book. th. th. It's th. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the book. It's the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. th. I the. the. I the. the. the. the the the the. the the. the the. the. the. th. th. th. th movie's subtitle. Yeah. And then a guy walking around going, it's closing time.
Yeah, have you ever been in a library where they like sang you a little song to get you out
the door?
Semisonic and all?
I couldn't remember if it was Semic or Deep Blue Something, but deep blue something
is breaficit.
It's a bop. It's a bob. It's a bop. It's a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that a that's a that a that a th a th a th a th a th a th a th. I I'll a th. I'll a th. I'll a th. I'll a th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll a th. I'll th. I'll th. I'll th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I's a th. I'll a th. I'll a th. I'll a th. A th. A th. A th. A the. thea thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the. the. It's a the. It's a bop. It's a bop. It's a bob. A little bit of a bop. I leave that guitar line after the chorus.
I'll leave that guitar line after the chorus.
That's good.
Good stuff.
Good stuff from us here on our more movie podcast.
Guys like Deep Blue something?
Right in, let us know.
Do we have to edit this episode? being old out as well? I don't know, I'm editing this week.
If this episode is five minutes long, it's just old people talk, it's all been edited out.
Maybe I'll release that as a separate episode.
Oh, my Bersetis.
I'll leave in the part where you got the cramp.
Fuck me.
No, you're great.
Okay. So she goes to an exit, but it's just like 15 flights of steps
that she has to go down.
Like at some point, you're like, just go back up.
This is, you're doing it wrong.
You've done something badly.
Also, it didn't seem like it took you that long to get in here.
Yeah.
For sure. Yeah.
The whispers are. Cicerouses everywhere. Very creepy. Mm-hmm. And then she just sees these big old flames under pots.
Yeah.
Is this alchemy?
That's that alchemist?
Okay, got it.
Oh yeah, pots, flames books.
That's alchemy.
That's textbook.
That's alchemy.
Also, hell of a set. So she has stolen this book, but she's showing it to the man in this room by holding it directly
in front of her.
Like, I take this.
He doesn't hear her for a while, and then she's like, can you tell me how to get out?
And he's like, yeah, it's the other door, just leave.
Yeah.
But then he sees that she's stealing the book. Yeah. And he has yuk-I has ths ths ths ths ths ths thi has thi has thi has thu-a thu, thi has thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. thi. the theat theat the the thi. theat the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to too tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo got witch hands. And he tries to push her face into the porridge.
I thought that was just hot cheese.
Oh, yeah, I wish it was.
Dip some breadcubes in that.
Yeah, you're about to get fondu.
I've never done fondue.
Let's go.
Let's do fondue.
Let's do fondue.
to fondue restaurant in Station Square.
You talk, I'll look it up. It's called fondone. So yeah, she drops the book and runs, then as she's running out, she gets her bra stuck on the door.
I mean, L-O-L-L-L, of course, her whole shirt gets caught.
Like what she's like, I must open this door with matitties.
Mitya-tis.
And he's just watching her from the window as she shimmies trying to get her shirt undone.
And no point does she, like step up to remove herself from it.
She's pulling backwards.
And not using her hands either.
That's your first instinct you'd think.
Also, that blouse did not have a lot of structure to it.
Just rip that thing and take off, lady.
Seriously, if you're really terrified, you rub your blouse.
Okay, there is a restaurant in Station Square Square called the melting pot. Oh, the th is is is is th is thine a fondant doesn't make me want to go. Ooh they've got Sangria. Oh we could
get a whole pitcher. Oh I don't practice Sangria. The complete fondue
experience for two. Oh you choose a cheese fondue. Any two salads in the
cheese? A two salads in the cheese? I guess. Any two entrees and a cooking style and then you choose a chocolate
fondue. I love this. I love this for us. Okay, we'll do this. Instead of having our birthday
party, let's just do this. Well, $110 for two people. Shit, I'll melt your cheese at home,
seriously. I got a Dutch oven. Anyway. So we never see the person's face who's staring at her through the window.
Nobody's got gross hair.
He's doesn't have, like maybe cat's eyes. Yes, potentially.
So she heads home, gets in the elevator with the guy from Deep Red.
He is a guy from Deep Red. I knew I knew him too. And this is a weird elevator experience.
She's like, I'm afraid to be left alone.
You can come into my home.
And then I'm just gonna go hang out in my bedroom make phone call.
Yeah, he's like, oh yeah, I'll come into your place, baby, you're afraid to be left alone.
I'll be there with you. And then he's content to just sit there and do the crossword.
I'm a sports writer. For television.
crossword. I'm a sports writer for television. For television. What are you writing for sports for television? Goal. And then she's asked if he's familiar
with the three sisters and he says the black singers? No, Dario! Wow! Wow! Do you mean the pointer sister?
I think? I don't know.
Weren't there more than three of them?
Things Dario doesn't know.
Oh my God.
Oh God, you could fill an ocean with the things Dario or gender is like great.
I mean, made beautiful movies.
Some of them are good.
And you could fill an ocean with things he doesn't know. I don't believe in spooks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. thi. thi. I thi thi thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiii. thii. thii. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things thi. Things things he doesn't know. Uh, I don't believe in spooks.
Yeah, Carlo, Carlo, baby.
While all this is going on, we also see the black-gloved hand cutting out paper dolls and
then snipping their heads off and then there's a lizard eating a moth just because and a girl
hanging from a noose, who is that girl?
Yep.
So nobody, No importance? No, I don't know who it is.
Oh, great. Okay, fine. What the fuck? She's like, I'm gonna play you some verity. What's the fuck?
She's like, I'm gonna play you some verity. What's the fuck? She's like, I'm gonna play you some ver.
You're gonna hang out. their news. Yeah. It's not good. to do your sports work work work work work work work work work work work work work work work. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to to to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the th. the th. th. th. the tho. tho. the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. to. to. to. here and listen to Verdi and think about sports. Do your sports work.
And then the power starts like,
she starts getting a brown out.
Yeah, the power is flickering,
which is making the music start and stop,
which is very good.
Yeah.
And then she's like,
and she's like, I'm afraid I'll stay here in the apartments. Yeah, Carlo's all like, I can fix this. Yeah. And she's
like, I'm afraid I'll stay here in the dark by myself. No, you go with Carlo.
You literally hired him on to look after you. For free. And not even for sex. No, he was
peeking at her boobs in the elevator. Well, sure. She is a woman who is wet and hearing whispers. He's also like, I think I fixed it and it's like it doesn't seem like you fixed it, Carlo.
But then, but then?
Then he gets it through the neck.
Through the fucking neck.
Very good.
Yeah. If I ever die violently, I'm going to bleed all over a frightened young woman, because that is his goal. He bleeds. He bleeds. See, like like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but th, but, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but th, but, but, th, th, th, th. He's th. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea. tha. thea. tha. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. He bleeds. See, like, he's shimmying to get more on top of her to bleed on her.
Yes, he's grabbing at her to bleed on her, which I think is a little fucked up.
Sure.
Yeah, but it doesn't matter because she gets stabbed in the back.
Yeah, the black-gloved hand pulls out the knife and stabs her in the back, but to be fair, she was moving very slowly. Very slowly. Carlo was no longer on top of her and she was still army crawling.
You know, you know how it is.
Once you've had a Carlo on top of you, she takes forever to get your bearings back.
You know, that's true.
And she had made a phone call to mark and she was like, Mark looks like a pervert. It's the mustache. She just looks like a pervert.
It's the mustache and the kind of like dickhead haircut that he has.
Yeah.
And I don't mean it looks like a dickhead.
I mean it looks like a dick.
The head of a dick.
Yes.
Yeah, it's definitely a bulging, throbbing, the. So why would he finds the letter from his
sister but it's like ripped up? Yeah who rips it up? Who knows? Okay, black gloves?
Okay, well then take it with you. And then there's like this long protracted scene of
this like screen with something starting to poke on it? Yes. And then Sarah rips through the screen and falls in front of Mark and I was like, what is the screen? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where? Where was? Where was? Where was? Where was? Where was? th? the the the the the th? the the the the th? the the the th? He? He? He? He was, where? He's, the the th. th. th. th. He's, th. He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He? He. He? He? He. He. He? He. He? He. He? He. the, the, the, the, the. the, the. the. the. the. the, the. the. the. the. the, the. the, the. the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. it. Yes. And then Sarah rips through the screen and falls in front of Mark.
And I was like, what is the screen?
Where was it?
It was between what and what?
Yeah.
It's her body, which has also screamed as it's come through,
but it's definitely her body.
And Mark is unflappable.
And Mark, whatever his name is.
He goes outside. Do you think that man is flappable? Because he is not flappable. He's unflappable.
Unflapable, Mark, whatever his name is.
He goes outside.
Yeah.
He's not a suspect in her murder.
Somehow.
Yeah.
The cops are like, what happens?
I don't know.
And they're like, oh, gotcha.
Thank you, American.
You may leave this crime. Yes, this had a distinct lack of that. I know it's not Diallo, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how you know it's not.
Diallo. We see the cat lady in the back of a cab, still making that face like, like something
stinks and also she wants to fuck, but it stinks a little bit. I don't get that face.
Oh, you ever nervous snagpuck? Not, not, not, not a merpus.
Uh, so Mark calls his sister.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, we cut back to, it says the same night in April.
It cannot be.
Well, I guess it could be actually, technically.
Yeah, it happened in Italy first.
Yeah, yeah. I was thinking that that that that that that that that that that that that had that that that that that had that that that that had that that that had that that that that that that had that that had that that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that had that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's was that's was that's was that's was that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. thi thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th yeah. I think I was thinking that that had happened in New York and this happened in Rome.
You take everything you said about Dario or John Tobak.
He does know how time zones work, presumably.
He's probably been across the Atlantic way more times than I have.
Oh, of 100%? Sure. So he's a well-traveled human- Oh yeah, Dario, he can get it. I will give him that, time zones.
So someone's trying to come into her apartment. Yeah, someone's unlocking her door
and there are two like shadowy heads in the frosted glass,
which I thought was fantastic.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, this apartment building is fucking beautiful inside.
You never live there.
Too scary. And then she cuts her hand on a doorn't, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to the to to to the to to their, too, their, too, the too, the to to to to their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the the the the the the to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, the too.. the too. the the the too. the the to Yeah, that's booby trap too. Yeah, it's like a broken crystal doorknob.
Yeah.
She's pretty badly cut.
Yeah, yeah.
And she escapes down the escape stairs that were hidden in her own apartment.
Right.
Which is so weird.
Is this where she sees the sign that says Laudatore? This whole set looks like it's in like it's Lord Gostington's manner. You know what I mean?
Like it's just yeah. It gets very gothic. Yes. Yeah and then I started remembering how she was in puppet master.
Oh really? She's one of the psychics. What? Yeah, she's like one of the mains.
What? Yeah, Irene Miracle.
Mm-hmm. Look at you. So there's... My life is a mess.
So the people who break into her apartment take her copy of the three mothers.
Right. And then it's real windy outside for a second we see like either somebody with cats eyes looking through a hole, or a cat looking through a hole we're not sure we're not sure and there have been a
lot of cats hanging out around her place so yes yeah probably probably yes
we see some weird old hands grab her face and then like bash her head on to
their head to some nails yeah yeah and then they there's like broken glass
above her head that I'm
like, oh shit fucking kiatine that shit. Nope, it's just a real slow
shopping of her trot with this broken glass. Yeah, it's like almost dropped but
the weird old hands pick it up and then shove it back down several times.
Yeah, yeah. I like the witch hands even though it kind of looks just someone's got bugles on their fingers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, the thi, the the thi, the thi's thi's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's the thi's th it kind of looks like just someone's got bugles on their fingers.
Yeah, I do.
Do you?
I do.
Do you not like a bugle?
Treat now.
Oh, I just love that text.
Oh, I just love that tex.
It's like, thick checks.
Like, there's like, thick thick checks. I do love thick checks. Like there's like weird abnormalities that happen in a bag of checks where like you get like the king
rat checks where they just all melted together. Yes! That is good as that when
Doritos do that and it's just like concentrated torito powder. Oh see that's a bit much.
Yeah that makes you want to have a heart attack. Yeah. Fat kid speedball. God that would would would would would would would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that would that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You th. You're th. You're th. You're th. You're thi. thick. thick. thick. thick. thick. thick. thick. You're thick. You get thi. You attack. Yeah. Fat kid's speedball.
Oh God, what would that be Dorito powder and Mountain Dew?
Probably.
Very good.
I like that I really rocked people's world with my admission of how much Mountain Dew I used
to drink.
Did people say something about it?
Oh my god, I felt so bad for him.
He's fine, he lived.
He lived to tell the tale.
Look, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, okay?
Exactly.
Yeah.
So Mark shows up in New York City.
Walks into the apartment building. It's like, hey, my sister lives here, and the lady is like, here, here's here, here's here's here's here's a here's a here's a the key, here's a the key, here's a the key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key, here's a key to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to the to to to to the the the to the to to the the the the the the the the the the the th., th. th. th. the the theat. the the te te te tel., tel. tel. tel. tel. too. too. to to, I'm going to need to see at least an ID.
Something, yeah.
Listen, my brother's got a pervert mustache and a dickhead haircut.
You could just let me.
Oh, Mark, there he is.
She, the woman, though, the house matron,
says to this nurse who's helping an old man in a wheelchair.
She's like, this is Rose's brother from from from from from nurse goes, ah, Italy. Thank you Dario. Did you think
American audiences might not know? Not Rome, New York, by Utica? Oh yeah, just upstate.
It's a real care if I stand in this corner with you, elevator ride too, because they get in
the elevator and all three of them are in one teeny, tiny corner.
Oh man, then he gets into his sister's room, immediately finds her...
Wait, he has a weird conversation with this woman and this old man.
The old man like tries to tou to tou. The nurse says to be right, but he doesn't thian, thia thian, thian, thian, thian, thian, thinks, to thinks, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to to thi, thi, to thi, to to to to talk, to talk, to. No. And Mark is talking about Rose and the nurse
is like, oh she has some strange ideas or something and he's like strange, no she writes poetry.
And the nurse says, ah yes, a pastime particularly suited for women. What the fuck?
Yeah, women make the best poets. We all know that. But what does she mean by that? Emily Dickinson. Sure. I'm not denying that. Okay, yeah, you know, the the, th. Yeah, th, th, th, th, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, th, you, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the thi the thi the th is the the th is th is th is th. th. th, th th. th th. th. th. th th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi thi thi thi to thi to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the th. But what is that? What does she mean by that? Emily Dickinson. Sure. I'm not denying that, okay, yeah, you know what I think about women, not talented.
But what is this conversation? Oh, hold on. We cannot be this far into Dario our gentleness,
and then suddenly go, what is this conversation? No, you're right. Okay. All right. It's just like, to set up that this nurse this this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse this nurse th. th is th is th is th is th is th is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. that. I I I I I I I I I that. I I I I that. I I I I I that. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th.? No, you're right, okay. All right.
It's just like to set up that this nurse is a little off.
She's a little weird.
She is a little weird.
Luckily, she will not come back.
We'll never see this actor again.
Nope.
Cut to chopping meat just because.
Uh-huh, because she's feeding this like a slob. This cat is eating it like a slob.
It's disgusting.
Oh, we just love cats though.
Am I right?
I guess so, yeah.
See, Mark finds her knob chipped and her doorknob and he's just like, what's this?
And he does not call out for her.
No.
He hears her neighbor calling for her. And he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th th th thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thiolol's like, thi, thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. thi. thi. It's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's in her apartment. He hears her neighbor calling for her and he's like, great idea.
And who's her neighbor?
Who's her neighbor?
Who's her neighbor?
Dary Nicolote.
Yeah.
Her hair looks great.
She does look great in this movie.
She really does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I've, this is such a weird role for her, but like, I really like, well, like, there's
this like long lingering shot of her bare feet.
Yeah, which I think was meant to be the her stepping in the blood.
Yeah. But really, you're just like, what's wrong with her feet?
Like, trying to figure out what's happening to them? Yeah. And this is cut with us, the antique guys, thiiiiiiiiiia thia. thii and thi and thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat. Like, theeeeat. theee. the. the. the. with us seeing the antique guy sleeping in like a closet in his antique
shop?
Oh his room is some great depression shit.
You cannot fuck in that bed.
You know?
With all of his dead relatives photos right next to you.
Yes.
Oh God.
Or counterpoint.
You good.
Fucking that bed?
I don't know if you could fucking that bed.
No one's fucking the antique Dracula. You never? Oh. Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? Oh? No, this? No, this? No, this. No, this. No, this. No, this. No, this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. Oh, this this this this. Oh, this. Oh, this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this. Oh, his, his, his this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, th. Oh, this. Oh, this. Oh, th. Oh, thi. Oh, thi. Oh, this is thi. Oh, this is thi. Oh, this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this. Oh, this. Fuck in that bed. I don't know if you could fucking that bed. No one's fucking the antique Dracula.
You never know?
No, no one is fucking Kazanian.
We see three copies of the book being taken by the black glove.
Mm-hmm.
They're collecting them all.
He had three copies right there and just with this one little story. That's nice. Yeah, very popular book.
Very popular book.
It's the Gone Girl of the Era.
People still, I'm still reading that book, I don't know.
I never read it.
Kids still like Gone Girl.
Kids still like Gone Girl?
Yeah, but I think there's probably a new one that we just don't know about. The book next to the to the
copies of the Three Mothers book was entitled the Book of Egyptian dreams. Oh
I thought boy I'd like to read that and then I thought what if it's just like
modern-day Egyptians being like and I missed the bus and I didn't know I had this test I had to take and then suddenly I was naked. I was trying to text and my. I'm. I'm. I'm. I was a a a a. I was a. I was a. I was a the to the to the the to the the to the to the to the the the to the to the to to to the the to the the the the the the the the the. I was like. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I was the they. I was they. I was. I was. I was just. I was. I was. I was just. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was te. I was trying to text and my fingers were just like this.
You got a copy of anxiety dreams of the Egyptians.
Yeah.
And then I have a note that says Darya gets doced?
Does she? Yeah, I don't know why I have that note.
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, her man-servant gives her something.
Oh, that's right. She's taking the most most whatever medication it is, because she says to Mark, like, I've
lived here for five years without my husband, and I'm not well.
He travels a lot for work.
Yeah, for five years?
For five years?
For five years?
Yeah.
Mission to Mars, baby.
Yeah. And he tells her she's taking
the most of whatever this medication is that she can take. Yeah. Yeah. She also
has birds in her room. You can't just keep birds in your room. They do a lot
of yelling around. As we learned in the last episode, you lived with a cockatiel.
Oh yeah, big time. I did love when the man servant is preparing her bath and he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to the toa, th. toa, th. th. toa, thi. thi. toa, thi. ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, toe. Yeah, toe, toe, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, the the most, the the the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, tha. Yeah, t, tha. Yeah, the t. Yeah, t. Yeah, t. Yeah, toe, t. Yeah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. ta. ta. ta. I, toge. toge. toge. toge. toge. ta. ta, ta. ta big time did. I did love when the man's servant is preparing her bath and he's like sprinkling bath salts
and then puts a wand in there and I was like, well, what's the wand?
It's a thermometer!
Thermometer, so fucking smart.
I was like, that is very cool.
I need a man-servant.
Yeah.
How do we get man on servants? I just need like a bath buddy.
Like I can do most other stuff, but just somebody's going to come in here and make and draw
bath for me.
I want them to then make me a sandwich to eat in the bathtub.
Oh yeah, bath sandwich.
I didn't even settle for like baby carrots and hummus.
I can even take pizza tortin' tortinosin' the those in the air friar, Gerard.
Gerard, this one is too hot and has burned my tongue.
Put it on the thermometer wand to make sure that it's acceptable for the lady's tongue.
She... You want that hot ooze, you know?
She dabs her toe and realizes it's not nail polish, but blood.
Not her blood.
She says blood and then looks around a bunch.
She is ready for someone to be listening to her.
It's crazy to think this woman wrote this movie.
I think she just came up with the ideas for it, then Dario flushed it out, huh?
We get a wobbly zoom on this very cool art deco,
great.
Yeah.
And then the camera is going through the vents as like a man starts laughing?
But he doesn't hear it?
Mark doesn't hear it, I don't think.
No, okay.
Yep. And then they realize that they follow the blood. There's like blood drops. Right.
And this is how we find the door that Rose snuck out of.
Right, and again, Daria Nicolodi, what is her character, Elise? Is that right?
I only have her as Dari and Nicolodi is like, oh wait here, I'm scared.
It's like women? Women?
Stop waiting alone when you're scared. So stationary in their fear. It's true.
Suddenly he's having gas pains. It's the diarrhea coming back. Oh yeah he has the
worst fucking public diarrhea. But I do love this shot of like sort of the door
looking very narrow between the walls of the stairwell I think it's so good.
Yeah yeah yeah he's like he just suddenly like like there's radon in so good. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, he just suddenly like,
like there's radon in the basement or something.
Yeah, yeah.
And then suddenly there's a cloaked figure over Mark.
And then suddenly the cloaked figure is dragging Mark out really slowly.
But luckily Darya gets over her fear of being stationary and comes downstairs.
She's not even trying to hide.
She just throws open the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the window the even trying to hide. She just throws open the window and is like, oh yeah, yoy. She's locked in a stairwell? And then
what happens to her? She gets attacked by cats. They are absolutely just tossing
cats. You can clearly see a hand underhand toss a cat on to her. You can clearly see it. There's like a fucking hockey goalie when the cats try to run away that's just just. You. You. You. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. their. Yeah. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. t. Yeah. Yeah. t. toy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah........................................... Yeah.... t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the t. t. t. t. goalie when the cats try to run away that's just knock on
back into the fight.
I mean imagine that scene.
Imagine filming.
Imagine being the person who has to throw cats at Dariah Nickelode.
You know it was Dario.
He was like, and you never replaced the toilet paper.
You told me, uh, two of the dishes. No, I throw the cat at you. I throw the cat. I do not like it, I take,
or we take it again. A Taco Tuesday, every Tuesday. Why would he say to-tweeigh? It's tortelini, Tuesday. That's just well traveled. That's just racist. No, it's true. He's a time zone. He's a fucking pro at time zones. So Exeteria, too bad.
Yeah, not enough of her.
She gets stabbed because the cats aren't fast enough at killing her.
Also, this movie is not mostly over yet, and I don't understand how.
How is this movie not mostly over?
I have so many notes.
Oh, God. Where has Mark been? He just wanders back in and they're like, yeah, we gave you some heart medicine and he doesn't ask what heart medicine they gave him.
Why would you? Why would you? Why would you? He wakes in a strange apartment? There's ants in a strange apartment? He's like, oh weird. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's an ants. Everybody gets ants. Yeah, yeah. So he was in, he was in Rose's apartment? I don't know.
And then, uh, he goes to Dario's weird butler.
He's talking to them and then he finds out about Kazanian.
Right.
Yeah.
So he goes down and talks to Kazanian.
Yeah.
My only note I have from that scene is totally clips is the totally clips of the fart. Because Cazanian's like, I don't know, I don't have any information for you, but there
is a lunar eclipse, so maybe you want to watch that.
Oh, right, because it seemed like he was telling him to like follow him.
Why would he do that if he was going to draw on those kittens in a bag?
Who can say? Right? He's complaining to be the most beautiful woman in Mussolini's world about her feeding the cats.
He's like, you gotta stuff eat the cats.
There's so many cats around here.
Yeah.
And she's like, yeah, why don't you go eat a bag of dicks?
And I'll talk to you later about that.
Both, both fair standpoints, I think, yeah. I'm sure I've told you about, yes, when I was in Rome, I was at the Col. And the Col. And there the coli. And there the coli. And there. And there. And there. And there. And there. And there. And the coli. And the same. And the same. And the same. And their. And there. And there. And there. And there, and the same. And the same. And the same. And their. And their, and they, and they, and they, and they, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the same. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. And they. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, they. Yeah, the the the the the the the the the the they. Yeah. Yeah, and the I don't know. Spaghetti. Spaghetti. Were
they eating it? Oh yeah, they were. They got the fuck out of it. Wouldn't you if a woman fed
you spaghetti? There was one fat cat that kept running up and she would go, Basta, Basta. That
means enough. That means enough. I just thought it was hilarious that she was
I was like, that's the most scary. That's why it's I've ever seen. That's why it's okay to be racist against us.
That's why.
Could you all do shit like that?
Oh, we're truly walking caricatures of oneself.
So Kazavian starts collecting all the cats that are in his house.
How do they keep not mice, you know, they can't fit through a hole the size of a dime. Yeah, if a cat can get its nose into something, it'll just stand there and sniff.
Yeah.
And there's a really upsetting scene of him picking up a cat by its ears.
Yeah, so I was really appreciating that cat doing the fuck you lay down when he was trying to get the cat out of his throw..... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the cat. the cat. the cat. the cat the cat the cat the cat the cat the cat th. the cat the cat tho the thi thi the cat the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th th th th. It thi the thi. It'll just just just just just just just the the the the the the thea tea tttea tttea they they. It'll just thea thea the the thi thi can only hope that the cat scratched the fuck out of him.
I don't like that.
I don't like that they did this.
No.
Jesus, Dario.
This is why I thought they killed the cat.
They do.
He wax that cat into like a post and kills it.
Yeah.
And don't keep baby kitties in a sack. And also I wish kittens would break into my house. Is that not the cutest infestation? Did all those kittens break in?
Because if a kitten breaks into your house, that's your kitten.
That's your kitten now.
You do have a cat who just wandered into your house and is now your cat.
Oh my god, you're right.
Oh, he's the worst cat too.
Fucking Glenn.
Glenn rules.
He did just wander into my home. I know. I know. So the Kazanian, who is a man
who walks on crutches for some reason? Yeah, he goes to a lot of effort to get rid of
these kittens. He puts him in a sec. And I was like, oh, he's just got to toss him off a bridge.
He does cross a bridge. He draws a bridge. Forever. It takes him forever to cross the brug man. Yeah. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's th. He's th. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He's goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He goes. He's bridge. Walks by a hot dog man. Yeah.
Late night hot dog man is what I call him.
Who just parks down by the water.
Yeah.
So then the man who has to walk with crutches is holding a sack of squirming cats and
wanders into the water to drown them.
Like knee-deep water.
Guy, no, he would never. But luckily, luckily he falls down.
Falling down in the water is kind of funny. And also getting eaten to death by
not rats is also very funny. Okay so I wasn't sure that rats were great
swimmers. I was like, well they'll probably drown. No, apparently they can swim for three days
at a stretch and they can hold their breath for a super long time, so that's great. They're fucking survivors.. Yeah, they're, they're, they're they're they're they're they're they're thi. Yeah, they're thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, they're thi. Yeah, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. Luckily, thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. they're, thi. they're, they're, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi.they can swim for three days at a stretch and they can hold their breath for a super long time. So that's great. They're fucking
survivors. Yeah. Ain't never gonna give up? No. They take their sweet time
chopping him up though. The fake rats just like hanging off of his face for a
while are beautiful. They're really cute. And for a moment you think that late
night hot dog man is going to be to the rescue. Late night to hot dog man runs on water.
Like Jesus H Christ himself.
Why did he run on water like Jesus?
And there was another thing that Bill Lustig mentioned that they put down plexig
so he can run across the water and like just be weird.
Okay, it is certainly weird. Yeah, and then he runs over with a butcher's knife. th. And th. And he he he he he. And the he. And the the the the the the the he. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. th. to be th. to be to be to. to be to be to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. to. to. to. to. to. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t too. too. t t too. t t too. t t too. t too. t to to to to to to t t t did that. Okay, it is certainly weird. Yeah, and then he runs over with a butcher's knife and you're like, well he's gonna start stabbing rats. Of course
he's gonna start stabbing rats. But he doesn't. He chops them up. Chops the man's
head off. New York man. The 80s. Yeah. Oh my god it's so weird. Cut back to the apartment building. Yeah. And we're told that from the naggy lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady lady that that that that that that that that that that that that that weird. Cut back to the apartment building, and we're told that from the naggy lady,
the lady with the teeth, who is nagging at the man's servant about his drinking,
that la comtesse will not be back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is the first time we learned that she's a accountant.
Yes, we were definitely not lead with that. I truly. Yeah, won't you ever let anyone forget that you were a Countess?
Not for a fucking second.
Hey, could you hand me that?
Who?
Could who hand you that?
Countess?
Yes, address me as La Comtesse?
And at this point, I just have a note that
that says the soundtrack is bananas and sounds like the intro to some PBS.
the to to the to to to the to the to the the the the to the song specific to the movie. No. It's just like
Blah bup. Bli-da-bub. Bipipipip. I'm like, Emerson, calm it down a little bit, dog.
So in this scene we learned that maybe they're just doing this for money. I'm very confused about this bit. Yeah, like this was like the red herring thing that's like introduced. It's like we don't. the. th. th. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. I's red herring thing that's like introduced and it's like we don't need this we know it's witches
Wait, was the most beautiful woman in Mussolini's world
Involved with the witch of course, yeah, okay, so how is she getting paid? Which is they got their witch money? They got their witch money? They got which money? They got which money? They got which money? They got the witch? They got which money. They got? They got which? Which? They got which? They got which? They got which? They got which money? They got which money? They got which money? They got which money? They got which? They got which? They got they got which? They got which? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They got? They they they got they got they they they? They they? They they? They they? They they? They they? They they? They they? They they? They they they they they they they, I? I? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the, I, I, I, I the, I the, I the, I they. I. They they. They. They. They. They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They? They, I. I. I? They, I? They, I? I. I. I, I, I? They, I, I, I, I, I, I And then I just heard, who did that though?
And why? Like, why? And the apartment lady walks in and was like, nah, his eyes have been pulled
out. Oh no, I lived out of the entire apartment on fire. Yes. Now finally an inferno, but it's not going to
catch for quite some time. Ah, meanwhile, the titular inferno has become. A curtain that is, uh, enfuego falls on the teeth lady.
And she just starts, she wraps herself in it.
She wraps herself in it like you do, and then falls through several glass panels.
Because Dario Argento.
And cut this with, we, see Mark and he's thinking thoughts so hard.
Can you just mind my first next note just says.
Mark is such a fucking dope just duh.
Duh.
He is the dumbest looking man.
It's so upsetting that we're meant to believe
that he could like out with anybody or just figure any mystery out.
I can only assume the direction was like,
I need to know that you're thinking.
Show me that you're thinking.
Diarrhea face, no, not diarrhea face.
Do I have diarrhea face?
That's what you need to be.
So his epiphany is that he's gonna stick a wire into a floorboard because he sees ants coming
out of it.
Yeah, he looks up at the pencil drawing of the building and then draws on it, which is rude
because he doesn't know Rose's dead.
No, but what, and I couldn't figure out, I was like, what are you just adding to it,
but he's figuring out that the way the crenellations are on the front of the building, there has to be a sub-floor area that you could crawl around in.
They must be huge.
That building must be like 90 stories tall, but all right.
So he's like feeding a wire into the floorboard to plum the depth of it?
I just, I'm not going to believe that he is crafty, you know?
But while he's poking this like dipstick down there whatever it is that he's doing, it's just totally silent, which I really liked. And then I thought what if Rose comes back and he's just
have pried up all her floorboards. I'd be fucking pissed it my brother. Also, safety tip.
Yeah, do not hack at concrete with a butcher or a kitchen knife.
Is that a bad idea?
Yeah, you're gonna get, it's gonna break and shard into you.
That's not what they're designed for.
That's good advice from your friends, a wreathf ambulance.
So he makes a hole in the floor to get down to the next level, and when he makes the hole,
the cat just shows up, we're like,! Yeah, the cats are circling, a council of cats here. But you know what, it
would be exciting to find a scroll in your floorboards. I would shit myself, yeah.
Just like Mark and music class. And the scroll is just the names of all the
mothers because their names are beneath the souls of their feet.
Just some Latin, I don't know. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, the th, just, just, the th, just, just, just, the the th, the th, they, th, their, th, their, their, their, their, their, their, their feet. Just some Latin, I don't know. Well it says Mater,
beepity, babbblety blue. He wrote just some Latin, oh don't go in there, don't get
in there, you and your sister just love to get into these little spaces. This
family loves holes. This family loves holes. And then he starts leaning on shit, don't lean on shit, Mark. Oh my God. And then he ends up in the he like ends
up in the apartment of the wheelchair bound man he sees a cat with eating a
mouse yeah come on as they did for a long time we have to see that mouse
die and this is where I think it's doing the song of the movie okay
because I wrote that as a music student he should really appreciate the sort of polyphonic
harmonizing because it is wild.
The subtitles kept saying song continues in polyphony.
Oh really?
Yeah, because I think that's like a reworking of a Verity piece or something that they're
probably.
So the man in the wheelchair rolls himself over to this like electronic equipment.
Yeah, there's a little door and a little room, which is pretty good. Hooks up a voice box to
himself and is like, I'm Varelli. You know he says, you've probably figured out
who I am by now, and I was like, I have no idea who you are. Mark's like, no, I don't know. I'm Varelli, I'm real old. This building has become my body. What? No, no, th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm th. I'm like, I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. H. I'm thi. H. I'm thi. H. I'm thi. H. I'm thi. H. I'm thi. H. No, it hasn't. No. No.
No.
And then Varelli injects something in the mind?
He's like, I'll tell you about the mother of shadows.
Come closer.
Yeah, let me whisper to you.
Like, no, I don't think that I will.
Yeah, he gets him with a syringe, but then Mark has to suck out the poison.
Could you do that? Is that a thing you can do? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if
you know, it works some. Get some of the stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So after Mark sucks himself off,
he goes and frees the band who's been strangling himself. Which is wild, because this building has been on fire for a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And then, all the, and I have to, I have to admit to something.
This movie is super slow.
I don't know if you notice where you're watching it. And I was like watching it, and I was watching it and like, at about about like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. to, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to, to-..... to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, to-a, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or two days ago on my day, on Martin Luther King day.
And I was watching it and like, about this point in the movie is like,
I'm gonna take a nap.
Do you think this is how Dr. King would have you wanted you to spend his birthday?
He just wanted me to be happy.
That's true.
You, you see particularly.
Day of service or take a nap. So you took a nap? And we'll back up for the last, what, 12 minutes?
Okay. I have four notes left. Well, I was in a position where the dog was sleeping against my
neck and I think that just like put me down. It'll lulls, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So he goes into a burning room
and there's a woman with her head down. Of course it's the nurse. It's the nurse. She he th goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes goes the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. the. the. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. th. th. th. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. it's the nurse like obviously it's the nurse you knew it was the nurse and she tells him it's gonna all burn down like yeah no shit
dumb yeah she says stuff like this is what you wanted I'm coming to get you
like what I did like that she disappears from the room it is just in the
mirror yeah that's cool yeah I thought that was very cool but she says to him haven't you understood no no no the mothers are the they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're the the the the the the the th the the took tel took to the the the tel the the the the the the the the the the the they're they're they're the they're cool. But she says to him, haven't you understood? No, no one has.
Don't you know who the mothers are? They're death. They call us death and then the skeleton comes through the glass and I just don't know.
I just don't know. Yeah, you get a big death skeleton man that comes in and does a little soft shoe.
Well, the problem with the skeleton is that it's a skeleton head and chest but just like people hands?. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don. Don't. Don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho the tho tho tho the mo the mo tho tho tho tho tho tho tho. Don't tho. Don't the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the mo the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the mo. Don't the m. Don't the m. Don't the m. Don't the m. Don't the the the. Don't the. Don't the. Don't theo theo thoo theo the thoo the mo o' the mothe. Don't the mo the mothe. Don Well the problem with the skeleton is that it's a skeleton
head and chest but just like people hands. Sure. Like the sweetest chef you know.
Someone's puppeting death. Yes it is rubber as hell. I don't, it looks so bad. It's
looks very bad. It's dukey. It's on fire so you know it's good. Yeah and finally
emergency services show up they took their sweet. It's on fire so you know it's good. Yeah. And finally emergency services
show up. They took their sweet time. It's been literally like 45 minutes. Well luckily he can't just
walk out of this building and be like, uh, I don't know what's going on. You cannot just leave a
crime scene looking days twice in like the last 24 hours. Of course you can. Of course you can. the skeleton head and chest is just screaming. the skeleton the skeleton the skeleton the skeleton the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building the building to just just just just just just just to just to to to to to to to their the building. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. te. te. te. te. te. chest is just screaming and there are people hands just bringing
the building down on top of one's self.
What?
Happy birthday to you.
Katie.
This is not what I expected.
This is not what I was thinking.
This is not what I expected.
I believe your statement was I want to do this because I haven't been mad at Italians for a while.
Yeah, I feel like the last couple Italian things I've watched, I've been like, yeah, all right.
Let's go Italy.
No, this is, boof.
Woof.
Give me a birthday rating on this. I'm gonna give it four candles. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Yeah, I'm gonna have four candles.
Times 10 is 40.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
So I think this is like the,
this is when Dario starts losing me.
Really? Yeah.
I like this movie.
I do fun and enjoyable.
But it's like, I feel like there was just like hit after hit after hit and then this one you're like, oh, all right, maybe a little bit of a misstep.
I feel like tenebre, tenbre bray, tenbre bray?
It was, it was like, immediately after this, and I really liked that.
Sure. Yeah, I feel like there's a redemption there, but yeah. Yeah, I feel like there's a red. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the they a little, they, maybe, maybe, maybe a they a little, maybe a they a little, maybe a they a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe a little, maybe, maybe a little, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, they. they. th. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the so the so theaa. A little thea' a little thea' a little bit, a little bit, a little bit a little bit, they. the was too Suspirea.
Yeah, you can tell it gets an idea and then it's just like,
let's kill women around it, you know, with like sharp objects and glass.
I'm gonna give this a six.
Just say you could do a lot worse with Dario Orgento movies.
What's the worst that you've seen?
The card player is really bad. Okay. And then there's one that's one that's called that's called that's called that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the the thi. thi. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the th. It's the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their. It's. It's. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. the. It's just just just just. the. the. the. toda. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the., and then there's one that's called Gialo,
yeah, that stars, uh, Adrian Brody,
and I don't think Adrian Brody ever got paid for that movie.
Oh, great.
Dario Gento must be a rich man, right?
I don't know.
You'd think.
I do, maybe.
Maybe.
Or do you think he's maybe a witch man?
. Maybe, or do you think he's maybe a witch man? Oh, God damn it. Katie!
What?
Would Goblin had done the song about capitalism instead?
Rich!
Eat the rich!
Yeah.
Can I read you a little letter that we got?
I would love that.
This is from Montgomery.
Hi, Montgomery.
Montgomery says, I've been a long-time fan for years ever since high school. Oh my God. I am now, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, th. thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, tho' th thoom, th, th, th, thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, thoom. thoom. thoom. thoom, thoom, thoom. G maybe, th. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. G. th. thi. Ga, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. theeea. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga. Ga, tha. Ga, th been a long-time fan for years ever since high
school. Oh my god. I am now 23. Oh my god! And still tune into every episode. I love
you guys for all the witty banter and family-like community you've built.
And I just wanted to give my thanks for your work and your impact on my life, as well as to let you know younger people do listen to y'all. Wild, that's wild.
I don't get most of the reference to this.
Oh, fuck.
I mean, you think this kid knows Emerson Lake and Palmer?
This kid doesn't know Emerson Lake and Palmer.
The kids love Prague Rock.
I hate Emerson Lake and the great work and love y'all.
Oh, I love you too.
P.S.
P.S.
Katie did in fact use Riz correctly.
Yes!
You are so Riz.
You're so riz.
No.
You've got that's gonna be your Riz era. My Riz era. It's like my
the attitude era of WWE. Yeah, you're gonna be the Riz era. Well by the time
you listen to this I will be dead. No, you will not be you will be the
champion of champions. I hope so. You're the best around and nothing's ever going to take you down. I don't know if that's true. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. the the th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's that's that's that's the the to be that's that's to to to to to to to to be to be the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. ti. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's around and nothing's ever going to take you down. I don't know if that's true.
Oh man, don't make me get all modeled on this thing.
Because you are one of the best thing that's ever happened.
Stop it!
Good thing I'm editing this episode because I'm taking anything nice you say out, so don't.
I'm bleeping all of it.
I'm mad!
I love you too, thank you. What did you say? I said I love you too. Thank you. No, but I'm
saying it with anger and my voice so you know what I mean.
Alan. I love you as well. What are we going to do next time?
Next time we are going to do a movie of a listener's choosing.
This was recommended to us by Deadhead Dan.
Deadhead Dan who keeps surfacing for us.
Yes, Deadhead Dan watched Inkeepers only to listen to the episode that we had made about it
and then found out that we had never made an episode about it.
So now we have to make an episode about it.
Yeah, so we want to give Deadhead Dan what he needs in life.
I guess so, Deadhead Dan, here you go, in keepers next week.
I'm just trying to think we're there yet.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's a lot more winning over we have to do.
Yeah, we had to work.
Well, maybe the innkeepers episode will be very good.
Maybe.
Maybe. Could be.
Who could say?
So come back for a lot of Kelly McGillus talk. She's in the innkeepers. She was also in Top Gun. Wait, she's in the innkeepers?
Yeah, she's like the lady who sells crystals. Oh damn! Yeah. Yeah, she's got that side
boob in Top Gun. Yeah. I love a side poop. Who doesn't? Who doesn't?
Sideboop for everyone. So everybody wish Katie a happy birthday. Or down, it's fine. Try not to acknowledge me if at all possible. I love our look at me, don't look at to. to. to. the to. the the to. the the to the the the to the the the the the to to the the the the to the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Yeah. th. Yeah. the. the. the. theat. the. theat. the. the. the. thean. thean. the. the. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I try not to acknowledge me if at all possible. I love our look at me,
don't look at me lifestyle. Don't look at me, push me pull you, let's do this.
Find us on the internet, go to the T-Public, go to Patron, search for
wherewif ambulance if you want to be a patron. Yeah, we're doing action
movies over there. Yeah, and there's like 40 episodes of where you're thi th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho thi. thi. tho tho tho tho to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. the. the. the. thoo. the. thooooooooooo. the. to to to to to to to to to to crazy people. Yeah. And thanks for listening to another episode of WordRuff Amulance.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Chow!
Y'all.
You did it. Oh my god. MADY Acton on Dead Pools, Savini's sightings at the pool.
No way to do in Finland's to keep fulfilled reviews.
Killing clouds and levy face.
Can't live in his face?
Up here inside a basketcase. Please make a good-eyed to your grave. and let the face, pin him in the atmosphere, a pair in time basket case,
please make a kid in your grave.
E&T.
A moral comedy reviews
hungry Brian from wings and Stephen Gang.
END
We live deliciously bad temperatures obese, crazily come to diet in.
A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.