Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 463- The Innkeepers (2011)
Episode Date: January 29, 2024In this week's episode, we're headed back to the Ti West well with the 2011 slow burn "The Innkeepers." Special topics for your consideration include: a surprising amount of hair metal references, a q...uestion of ghost belief, Allen's new term for Kelly McGillis, upsetting age gaps, and a wonderful letter from a listener. Ti West is all over this podcast: Episode 172- "House of the Devil," Episode 396- "X," Episode 436- "V/H/S," and Episode 440- "Pearl." The regular lineup of links! You can support us at patreon.com/werewolfambulance and listen to all of our action movie episodes. It's sword & sandal month! leave us a message at 412-407-7025 hang out with some cool listeners at https://discord.gg/DutFjx3cBD buy merch at www.teepublic.com/user/werewolfambulance the best place to reach us is at werewolfambulance@gmail.com we're on Reddit at r/werewolfambulance sorta on Twitter @werebulance sorta on Instagram @werewolfambulance www.werewolfambulance.com if you feel you really must lodge a complaint with us, please do it on Facebook at facebook.com/werewolfambulance because we are probably not gonna see that, ever.  If you liked this, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen! It helps others find us and allows us to continue to grow. Intro song is by Alex Van Luvie Outro song is A. Wallis- "EMT" Seriously, we have the best listeners, hands down.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Kenny, have you thought about gambling with draft kings?
Oh my god.
Fucking gambling with draft kings? Oh my god.
Fucking gambling becoming legal in Pennsylvania is the worst thing that's happened to television
and to podcasts in my life.
I cannot take it.
Yeah.
Bonus bets?
No, they're not giving you money.
They're just making you addicted to gambling.
You want to first taste for free?
You want to first taste for free?
You want to first taste for free.
Really?
Well, I mean like people, not like drug dealers being like,
now I'll hook you, you know?
Listeners, I wish you could have seen the shoulder shimmy head shake that went with that.
This is how I feel drug dealers, dog.
I don't know why.
Axel Rose, former drug dealer for Katie. Whatever. Did you get a DraftKings ad?
Where did you watch this?
Pocock.
I didn't write down any of my ads.
Oh, Guy, you always like to ask me about my ads.
I think I'd pulled a you and left the room for three minutes.
Smart.
Yeah. Got draft Kings, got.
the threat.
to the AI the data. doing. Oh, it's Salesforce, right? It's like he really cares about client relationship management software. Yeah, but it's all AI. What do you talk? It's
AI the new Bitcoin? Yes. Got it. Yeah, but it's even worse. It's the reason
that I finally fucking fest up to myself and deleted the Twitter app off my
phone. Yeah, mine's gone. Because I was like, I was being like a little sneaky boy and going on Twitter and to scroll. And scroll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like scroll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like. Yeah. I was. I was like. I was like. I was. I was being. I was being like. I was being like. I was being. I was being like. I was. I was Yeah, it's really addictive, it turns out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yesterday I logged on there and there were all these AI nude images of Taylor Swift
getting like fucked by a football team.
Oh my god.
And I was just like, on other wear of ambulance feed?
No, no, no, just on like, like,
suggested post.
You might enjoy this really and I was just like you know what Twitter I stuck with you saying that I might enjoy a Stephen Miller book
Or that I want to listen to Ben Shapiro because that's all the people that advertise on there now It's over it's done. Yeah, so I deleted that shit. Yeah, fuck that dude god what a mounton of shit. Yeah, what a mountain of shit. Yeah, the mountain of shit. Yeah, thu tho th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, the the thi. thi the thi thi the the thi th. thin. thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thin. thi. the. the. the. that I the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. thin. th. th. th. th. terrible. Get off it. Honestly, that's my advice. Don't, just
don't engage with it. Yeah, yeah. I have nothing. Yeah, I figured like we got to a plateau.
We're not going to go anywhere else to the podcast. So like, I've got an abandoned social media.
Send us an email. Yeah, right. You want to get in touch. You know of our PO box. wex. We have a voicem vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo vo. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We have a voicem. Yes. Yes. Yes. We have a voicem. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We have a voic. Yes. Yes. We have a voic. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We have a voic. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We. Yes. We. Yes. We. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You get on the discord? Yeah. Anyway, Universal Studios was also an advertisement
that you received and our Universal Orlando, I should say. And then NBC apparently has a block of
shows for the cops, fire department and maybe an ER that are all set in Chicago. I have seen
all the same verse. Yes, I've been, I've seen this while watching like at a football game or something
where it's like Chicago night.
And I was like, wait, like, Peter Satera?
No, they mean the city.
Yeah, yeah, they're not 25 or 64.
Also, he's not been in Chicago since the early 80s.
Yeah. Yeah. Who sings for them now?
I don't know.
See, but you knew Peter Sotera did.
Oh.
So the Innkeepers.
Talking about the Inkeepers this week.
The Inkeepers is a film by our friend, our new friend, my new friend, Ty West.
You came around on it.
Well, I saw this movie when it came out, probably at your suggestion, and I loved it.
So I don't know, I don't know where my Ty West disdain came from.
I don't think you enjoyed House of the Devil, if I remember correct.
It was fine.
It was fine until the end.
And you're like, well, that was whatever. This is his, he is fucking, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he. the, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to keep watching period of filmmaking, like. It's a slow burn.
There was a point when I accidentally paused the television
when she laid down to go to bed.
Claire lays down.
And I'm like, this scene is building tension so well.
This is insane.
When this shit, fuck.
Because there's like, there's all this long 10 scenes.
I don't remember the scene. But when this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this. this is going. this is going. this is going. this is going. this. this is going. this. this. this. this. th. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thiole. thoom. thiole. thiole. thiolomea. thi. thi. the the the thi. the the the the the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the thi. the the the thi. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thia. thia. th th th th th th thiiia. thia. thia. thia. thia. thi. 10 scenes. I was like, when this shit pops off, I don't remember the scene, but when this shit pops off,
this is gonna be, oh my god, hit play.
Holy shit.
And you guys take movie advice from this guy.
You do, I do, we all do.
It opens on a bunch of creepy old building photos, which I love. Yeah. And then I wrote, I hate Lena-Dunumumumumum, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, th, tho, th, th, th, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, th, oh, th, th, th, th, th, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah. And then I wrote, I hate Lena Dunham. Yeah. I would fucking throw Lena Dunham into a wood shipper. I don't know why. I never saw girls.
Yeah. She just seems awful. She's done some not great stuff. Yeah. And she just, above and beyond.
She seems like she sucks. Sure. Yeah. she's sort of like fallen out of the
Zite Geist, hasn't she? Yeah. Speaking of Twitter, I used to follow a Twitter account called
Lena Dunham apologizes and it was just like mad libs of a things Lena Dunham could apologize for. It was very funny.
Well, RIP to Twitter. RIP to Lina Dunham. Not dead, but dead to us. It was very funny. to the wonderful Kelly. Well. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the Z. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. Z. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. t. t. t. t. ti. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to Twitter. RIP to Twitter, RIP to Lena Dunham. Not dead, but dead to us. Not RIP to the wonderful Kelly McGillis.
Kelly Mac.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,
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Yeah.
Yeah.
Hmm, no.
So Ty West wrote, directed and edited this,
which I normally think is a bad, a bad combo.
Get somebody else a job, Ty?
Just, yeah, first of all, you don was like, do you know the back story to this
movie? Not at all. So when they filmed House of the Devil, the crew stayed in this hotel.
Oh, it's in Connecticut, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they heard stories that it was haunted and this
like could have put like a bug in his butt to like do a story here. Cool. So I like the the idea of just being like this tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, the, th, th, th, th, th. A, the th. A, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the idea of just being like, I'm just this tiny little film, which is a tiny, tiny little movie.
And it is, it's a small, I mean, there's a cast of what, like seven people top.
Yeah, one of them is a child who has no lines, you know?
Yeah.
And one of them is ghost that has no lines.
Yeah. But I like where the location of the hotel, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the the the. the the the the the the the the not just in the middle of nowhere, you know, as per usual with these kind of movies. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of shots during the day too,
which is always nice. Yeah, it looks like a nice place. Yeah, I'm sorry to have
to close down. Yeah, Ron and Barbados and all that. We meet our two main
characters, Luke and Claire. And in my memory of this movie I thought they had like a cute flirty vibe. Yeah. Watching it now I'm like oh no he's 40, she's like 22.
Hondo P. Yeah it's not the right vibe. Yeah there's a 17 year age gap
between these two actors. Yeah. And I don't know if you've seen a picture of
the actor who plays Claire today at 35. No. She still looks like she could play 17.
Really?
She's got a, she is such, it's great,
she's such a good casting for this
because her character's like so naive.
And she has such a baby face.
You just want to be like, oh no, honey, come on, let's talk about it.
And I have, she was in a movie called Cheap Thrials that Pat Healy, the guy who played Luke is also in.
He's in everything.
With your boy Ethan Embrie.
I love Ethan Embray.
Yeah.
And a friend of mine was the...
Oh, the friend of mine was the D.P. on it.
But yeah, she's like, she plays a very different character.
She's a very good actress. I'm surprised. I think I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. thin. thin. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. th. to. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th stuff. Okay. I don't get into much TV unless it's said in Chicago. Or not on this continent. We're not on this continent. We did just have a long talk about what
the what cozy mysteries we're watching. For me, it's Darby and Joan on Acorn. If you guys want to get into that,
it's an eacorn original. Mine is currently death and paradise. Skip ahead to the Arlen Oh, theyn. Ski. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. they's. th. they's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We're th. th. th. th. th. We're just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. We. We. th. We. We. We. th. th. th. th. We. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. th. the. to. th. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. th. th got the guy you're skipping through got his own goddamn show like beyond
paradise or something.
Oh, what are they doing with him?
I don't know.
I feel like you're like he's like Jared Leto.
They're like no, he's a star and I'm like no, he's not.
He's a scarecrow.
He's a scarecrow with a child. He's a scape. He's a scaregoer. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone. He's a scape. He's a scape. He's a scapegone. He's a scape. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone. He's a scapegone with a scapegone with a scaregoer. He's with a scapegone with a sca- He's with a sca- He's with a scapegone with a scapeg their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. He's a scape. He's a scape. He's a scape. He's a scape. He's a scapeg. He's a scapeg. He's a scapeg. He's with a scarecrow. He's with a scarecrow. He's with a scarecrow the. He's with a scarecrow with A scarecrow the child. Like a 70s Christian child.
Yes, exactly.
So Claire and Luke are working at the front desk of this hotel,
which we learned this is their last weekend in business.
He starts talking about doing some EVP work, and I was just like,
hug, hug, hug, hug, uh, hug.
I'm not down with the ghost hunting community.
I'm not down with the ghost hunting community.
You know why?
Why?
No such thing as ghosts.
Yes, and I used to watch the fuck out of those ghost hunters.
Oh my god, I know, we've definitely talked about this on that show before.
But I got my wisdom teeth out and Rob went to the record the because there wasn't streaming at the time. Yeah. And we just watched them. I was like, they're going to find a ghost. They never found a ghost.
They'd be like, what's that? And you're like, that's a moth.
Look at these orbs. It's fucking dust. We all know it's dust. told. to the dust. their thiorebs. to. thorops. Or or. Or or or or or or or or. th. th. th. thororops. the. the. the. thor. thor. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. they. they. they. they're. they're they're they're they're they're. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're is the one thing, like, of all the supernatural stuff that I'm like, 100% don't
believe in it, can still scare myself with it.
With a ghost?
Yeah, yeah.
What do you think a ghost, like in here in your house?
Yeah.
You ever get weird feelings in your house?
For sure.
Weird.
Weird.
to, I today, the stairs. Yeah. I don't feel that way in this house. That was a weird basement though. It was a really weird basement. The crawl space. Yeah.
Yeah, the coal cellar. Yeah. All right. No good. No good. No good. No point.
He shows her one of those videos where you get really close into a quiet
screen waiting for something and then something jumps up and screams at you? Did that make you so nostalgia for an older internet before it? th... showed me one of those at a temp job once
and I peed in my pants a little bit.
And that's what I think of when I think of those.
I remember one that was like, it looked like a Volkswagen ad.
Yes, yes, yes, that was the one.
That's the one that made me pee myself.
Yes, and it doesn't come out of the chair. That's so funny.
In my ill-fitting slacks.
I just, I was like, oh, this is with the internet.
It was like this and home star runner.
That was the internet.
It was so sweet.
So fucking pure.
And like, live journal.
And like, I don't know.
Just wanting to see a titty on the internet. Like, that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo that lo. And that lo. that lo. that lo. that lo. that lo. that lo! And like, I that that that that that that that th. tho. thin. thi. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. t t t t t t t t t t t too. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t just wanting to see a tiddy on the internet like, all right, I'll see that in the morning.
I'm going to bed now.
When that loads, it's going to be dope.
I'm finally going to see Cassandra Peterson thu.
Ah, fantastic.
Great rack.
Claire is asthmatic.
Did you appreciate having some asthmatic representation?
I did. I thought she was hitting that inhaler a little hard. She might want to try some other asthma medications. You think it
wasn't working for her? Yes, she was just going a little too, a little too
too often at it, so. I feel like the, what's this place called the Yankee
Peddler in? Yeah, doesn't maybe provide health insurance. It's true. It's true. Also, fun fact, her inhaler was filled with a candy flavored breath spray.
Because if she had to hit an inhaler that much, she probably would have sent herself into
an actual asthmatic fit.
I would have demanded it would be filled with nicotine, like a super vapeat.
She hits and she's like, wow!
I got a buzz! At one point she like, her shirt sleeve comes off, she goes like five patches on her arm.
You know, I never thought about that, just putting on a bunch of patches.
Would that kill you eventually?
If you put on too many?
Yes.
I mean, I'm sure like, like aphids overpopulating in the world, there's too many patches you can put
on your body.
If I ever do decide to go, that's how I'll do it.
At least, at least I would die happy.
But you, you'd be so jittery.
Yeah, it's true.
I'd probably piss myself again.
Vibrate through the core of the earth. There's one guest in this hotel and it's a mad mom.
Yeah, she's going through it though.
Separated from her husband.
Yeah, she's got her kid.
Well, it sounds like she has gone on strike.
Because she wants him to see how hard his life
will be without her.
And I thought, fuck, should I go on strike?
Imagine going on strike. I would love that.
Again, I think I want a coma.
We also learned that the third floor is being demoed so there's only rooms on the second
floor.
Right.
We learned that when Leanne Reese Jones comes in to check in, played by Kelly McGillis.
She's super famous.
To a very small community of Crystal Collectors and old television actors.
Old television actors.
She's going to be going to a convention in Potsdown.
And I was like, ah, Potsdown.
You know, Potsdown.
I know Potsown, Pennsylvania.
Yeah, I assume that's what he's referring to.
No, it's in Connecticut, the the thi thi in in in in in thi.. Tie thi. Tie. thi. thi. that's in thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tha. tha. thaea. toa. toa. toa. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to c. to thi. thi. thi. the. the. te. the thea. theeo. thea. thea. thea thea thea thea. thea. thea. to c. to c. Yeah, I assume that's what he's referring to. No, it's in Connecticut. Yeah, but Ty West is from just outside of Potsdown.
Yeah, that's true.
I think it's a hat dipped to Potsdown.
I gotta get a Potsdown shout out in here.
Yeah.
Oh, Luke shows Claire the website that he's made. It's so shit-a-it-it. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th-I. th-I. th-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's-I's......a-I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's-i. I's-i-i-a-s. I's-n. I's-n. I's-n. I's-n. I's-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-s. I-s. I'm-s. I'm-s. I'm-s. I'm-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-I'ma-s. I'ma-I-s. I'ma-s. I'm-s. I'm Angel Fire website. I mean, I couldn't make a website look that bad if I try. It's true. And that's a bummer. Yeah. I miss, you know what I miss so much in this world,
talking about how shitty social media is, is just this era of like very niche, very specific blogs.
You know what I mean? Like you could just go and read about like, I don't know. One fucking thing thing that this person person th- th- this person this person this person this person this person this person th- th- th- th-like th-like th-like thi thi thi thi-like thi-like thi-like thi-like thi-like thi-like, thi-like, I thi-like. I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I thi-like. I thi-like. I thi-like, I'm like, I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi. I thi. I mean, thi. I miss, you thi. I miss, you know, I miss, I miss, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't know, one fucking thing that this person is interested in.
They have a blog. You know, I just, I feel like it was a better time.
I miss all those music blogs too.
Yeah. They're just like, do you like this? Well, you might like this.
Yes. You might like this.
Absolutely. It was like the last gasp of the record. Yeah.
Yeah, Rip Adelphia. Rip. R. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. I feel like. I feel like. I th. I th. I of you who are still working in record stores.
I'm sure you guys are doing it, but I don't know how to buy a record.
You sell CDs?
I have a CD player in my car.
I don't know.
You get a record player in your car.
I have a friend who's giving me a bunch of old CDs so I can listen to them
in the
classic car license plate.
The PA classic car license plate looks so good.
I can't wait.
Two years out.
Two years out.
Oh man, is there a way to like fake the birth certificate?
No, they'll know. You have to send in photos of it of it of it of it tho tho tho tho tho tho tho th th th th th th th th th th th th this th th this th tho tho this tho this tho tho this tho tho th. th. that that thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. thea. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. tea. tea. ta. ta. thea. ta. thea. tha way to like fake the birth certificate? No, they'll know. You have to send in photos of it, so I'm going to get my friend to wear a bikini and
like drape herself over it.
Oh, I thought you were going to ask me.
You want to do it?
You'll do it bikini.
It's going to be so good. It fucking steam clean that shit. Oh I'm so
happy for you. I am so happy for me too. I was walking the dog before you got here and I was
like keeping an eye out for you. And as cars were coming up to the stop sign near the end
of my street I was like no those headlights are too bright. No those headlights are too bright. That's not the headlights of a 13 year old car. How? Like like. Like a the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. That's. th. th. th. That's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I. I's. I's. I's. That's. That's. That's. That's. That's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm th. I. How, like imagine you're sitting in traffic, you're having a shit day and you pull up behind
a car with a classic car license plate and it's a 2011 Toyota Corolla gold.
You're gonna, that's gonna make your day so much better.
Well, so the first letter of all of them is C. Oh, yeah.
For classic. So C-Hi-Hiphphen R-O-L-L-A maybe? We learn that they are the only two people
on staff this weekend. Right. Granted, there's only two to three people staying in this hotel.
Not a lot of active work to do. But they're doing it in 12-hour shifts.
Why don't they do it in 6-hour shifts? Why don't they do it like every other hotel and just go to sleep at some point?
And when someone needs you, they ring the little bell and you go, yeah, what do you need?
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know, but they're doing seven to sevens.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
And then, theymea. I don't have friends. You don't know any work friends, do you? No. Fuck it.
Yeah.
What do you gonna do?
We're old now.
There's no one to smoke weed with in the walk-in cooler.
No one do help me steal books from borders.
Take that, borders.
That's why they're out of business.
You want to help me carry this trash bag full of books out to the dumpster that we'll pick up after hours.
Did you really do that?
What?
What?
Okay.
No?
Katie!
I wouldn't mind your butt stinky.
I just think you could do that.
Also, everybody smoking in hotels though? I don't. I do. I'm surprised I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoed. thoed. thoing. thoes. thi. thoing. What I'm thoing. What I'm. What I'm. What, what I'm. What, what I'm. What. What. What. What. What. What. What. th. th. What. What. th. th. th. What. th. th. What. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. that's. that. that. that's. that. that. thi. th. th. Yeah, I remember smoking in hotels, though? I don't.
I do.
But I'm surprised I don't.
Yeah, I'm surprised you don't.
I remember airplanes still having ashtrays on them?
Yeah.
You love to smoke in the mall.
Love smoking a mall.
Love to smoke in my own home for a while. smoking like a diner. Oh my god, put your cigarette out and the leftovers of your eggs? Why on earth would you do that?
Because you were a fucking scumbag teenager.
So Claire goes up to talk to Kelly McGillis,
Lee, who asks her about like what she does in her life.
Yeah. And Claire's answer is basically like I just work in this hotel. Yeah. And Lee is clearly like let down by this or just disappointed in this.
Imagine letting down your hero. Sure. Yeah. And then she's like, can I have my towel.
Yeah. She also comes out of the shower naked and puts on her towel in
this young little naive looking lady. Lobs down on the bed and lights a cig.
Yeah. All right, Kelly, all right.
Pretty, pretty cool.
Claire says she's between some stuff and I was like,
we're all just between stuff, aren't we?
Oh, at 23?
Yeah.
I was between fucking everything.
Between it all.
Birth and death, to puthe punk rock bands. She goes downstairs and talks to Luke about her interaction.
He's kind of like dismissive.
He's, it turns out I don't remember him being so shitty, but he's a shithead in this.
I don't remember that either.
And I wonder if that's just a function of the times where we've gotten so much more
sensitive in the last 10 to 12 years, you know?
Oh, we're one of th of th of th a lot of us are. 100% the world's on fire.
I've been listening to a podcast that's been around since like 2014,
and I went back and listened to some of their old episodes and the jokes are so off-color.
Really? And it's just like, well, you could then, huh?
Oh, man.
Luckily, we don't have a podcast from 204. 24. Oh, no. You got woke earlier than other people. So you edited out anything I think that I would have said.
Yeah, yeah. I got woke pretty early. I remember I kept talking about stitches, the white wrapper and you're like,
stop saying white wrapper. Yeah, I said it gently. I called you in, Res isn't calling you out.
That's right. But I do, I do appreciate, I feel like,
these two actors, our two man's have like a really good rapport with each other.
They do.
Yeah, and I think that's what kind of like, in my memory is like, oh, they got along really well.
They were really like, they had this intimacy with each other. They do. And it's this dynamic of him like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th had this intimacy with each other. It was really nice. They do and it's this dynamic of him
like trying to kind of impress her. But by being so cool, even though he's clearly not,
which is evidenced by like you see his underwear in that scene and she's like, oh God. But she's so naive
and like eager. Yeah. Yeah. There is a scene where like he does something kind for her
and she kind of gives him a snarky response.
And then when she walks, when he walks away, she like slyly smiles.
Like I did appreciate that.
And it's like, oh, he's old enough to be your father.
So what does she do to ameliorate this pain of being rebuffed by Luke? Where did she run off to?
She goes to Lena Dunham's coffee shop. Ah God, I hate looking at her face. I hate hearing her voice.
I hate her. I'm assuming that they were like aspiring filmmakers at the same time and that, because this was before girls like broke.
Probably. Yeah. But also I feel like this role this was before girls like broke. Probably. Yeah.
And but also I feel like this role is a dig at Lena Donald.
I mean the monologue that she's doing is very appropriate for how much she sucks, right?
So maybe she knows she sucks?
I don't, that doesn't make her suck any less in my opinion.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah, being aware of sucking but not changing that behavior. That's actually worse. That's actually worse than not being self-aware that you suck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I love to see where she comes back and she's empty-handed from the coffee shop and he's
like, annoying girl working again.
She's like, yeah.
They ran out.
So yeah, Luke goes to bed.
She's playing solitaire on his laptop and sees all the porn sites he goes to.
He's been looking at a lot of small boobs, small boob porn.
One of them was called Tit punchers.
Tit-Punchers!
That's funny.
That's good, Ty West. Yeah, that's fucking funny.
And then there was like, thuggs something or other too. There was definitely an itty-bitty-titty committee on them.
And I was also like, well, this actress is very like, flat-justed.
This is funny.
And I was like, he's got a type.
And that something zooms at her, right?
This is something zooms at her?
What is it?
Zooms?
Zoom?
She got the website that he's made.
Right.
Of a door slowly closing.
Right.
Yeah, which is obviously just being pushed from the inside.
Yeah, which is obviously.
Sometimes there's a string that they're pulling close them.
I just feel like it'd be easier to push from the inside on that one.
And she reads a bit of the story of Madeline O'Malley. Do you want to recap that
for us? She died in the basement of this hotel? She died in the stucke her in the basement for a few days?
Oh, that's right. That's right. But it was her wedding day? Yeah, but they didn't want the story to come out and like tarnish the hotel? Isn't the story of her being in the basement for a a th isn't. th isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't the si? the si? the si, isn't their, isn't their, like, isn't it, like, like, isn't it, like, like, isn't it? they? they? they? they? their? their? their, isn't,? Oh, it worse. And also, like, where were her friends and family if it was her wedding day?
Mmm, mm-hmm.
Why didn't, okay.
Maybe she sucked.
Yeah, maybe she sucked.
Maybe she was just like Lena Dunham.
That would be funny if the ghost was also played when Lea.
Every time she appears, she's just like, eh! We get the morning, Claire is holding a flashlight below her chin and telling the little
boy this story, I would fuck a bitch up if a stranger told my kid this.
I would fuck a bitch up if my relative told my kid this.
You don't say these things to children.
Totally inappropriate. The mom's like, what is the matter with you? And I was like, yeah, what is the matter with you? Cl th you? Cl. the the the the the the the th.... Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl. Cl- the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the You don't say these things to children. Totally inappropriate.
The mom's like, what is the matter with you? And I was like, yeah, what is the matter
with you? I see it from the middle-aged ladies perspective.
Exactly. I feel like this time we're around watching, I'm like, oh, I'm on team mom. I thought she was just mean before. But no, these people are fucking towels. the, but, but the people. But, but the people. But, but the people. But, but th. But, but th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. their, th. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the matter, the matter, the matter, the matter, the matter, the matter, the matter. And I the matter. And I the matter. And I the matter. And I the matter. And I the the the the the matter. And I they. And I they. And I they. And I is they. And I is th. And I is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thee. thee. thee. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they. th. th. th. they. the the m. the I work here at the hotel. And bring her the fucking towels.
She's paying to be there.
She says the ultimate and exasperation, I really don't want to have to ask you again.
Yes.
Which means this isn't the first time she's asked them.
There's no towel anywhere in the hotel. who constantly forgets to put him up there because he's a slack-ass 40-year-old. Yeah, because he dropped out of college and...
Wants to bang a 23-year-old?
I can only assume in the fiction of this movie they're supposed to be closer in age.
I don't know. He looks, he doesn't look much younger.
He looks my age, you know? What about that fun, like tin-tin fohawk that he's got going on. I thought his hairline was just receding because it is because he's 40 and that's what happens. Hey!
What? You've got great hair? Everyone tells you that. A lot more a lot more
beach before you hit the tree line than there used to be. Just a place to stretch out.
So he claims to have seen Madeline O'Malley.
Right, seemingly just to impress Claire though. But she, it impresses her, she believes it,
because she's kind of stupid. She's a baby child. I know, I feel like at 23 I knew not to believe in ghosts.
Or 40 year old. Yes. At 23 or 40 year old was fucking ancient.
Ancient.
Yeah.
Ancient.
Tell me more of Methuselah about the time he's all ghost.
Oh, you live before the internet.
How'd you get phone numbers then, huh?
Oh, someone actually delivered to your front door a book, a book, a book, their
book with everyone's name and phone number and address in it?
God. phone number and address in it. God, I remember pre-cell phones when I had to keep all my phone numbers written down
a little book in my back pocket.
Yeah.
Because I can't remember shit for shit even back then.
You weren't going to remember shit for shit.
And now I know no one's phone number.
Your phone number is 4122-2-206.
2, 206.
Got some numbers right, and the wrong order.
I don't know what.
Yeah, fuck it.
4122-0, I don't know, I never call myself.
Oh my god, silly asshole.
This dumpster scene, though, where she's trying to get the bag in, this feels like my whole
fucking life, you know?
I refer to it as a harrowing trip to the dumpster.
Yes.
Because having worked briefly as a barista at Borders, I remember like, oh yeah, no, someone
put a full cup of coffee in the trash bag, thank you so much.
I hope you wrecked your car on the trifo. Yeah, I worked in a pizza shop where people just dump like fucking fountain sodas in there. Take it with you, it's free. Now I was gonna
drink it but I'll just put 75 ounces of soda into this bag for you. But there
was also never anywhere to dump that shit out, you know if you didn't want to take it with you. Exactly. Put a drain in there. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree. I remember that. Yeah, I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I that. I'm I'm that. I'm that. I was that. I was that. that's that's that's that's that's just that's just that's just that's just that's that's that's just that's just that's that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th was th was th was th was th was th th was th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. I was th th th th. I was th. I was th th th th th th th th th th th th the th the the thr the thrown thrown the threat the thro to threat to to the threat the threat. the threat. thro thro thro. the the thr. But I remember that just that one hole of like trash juice shooting into the air.
I could smell it when it was happening. Yeah. Oh, man. So she hears this bumping noise the night before.
And now she's earlier than that now she's hearing it again. Yep. So she goes into this like garage and then there's.
I call them bilco doors. Some people call them Stormdoors. Storm doors, that's what I'd call them.
Storm doors for when there's a storm.
I think Bilko was the name of a manufacturer of Stormdoors, so that's just what we called
them when I was a kid.
I believe that.
And she goes and like opens them up and aaggy pretty much yeah not the rapper no her singer shoggy it was him he wraps a
little bit sometimes it's true it's true but she's like she's like she's
like shaggy from the scooby gang where she's like oh good good the whole time
she's doing this is like if you're scared to ghost, avoid them. Yeah, I don't, like, are you doing this ghost hunting shit
to impress him?
No, she's doing this for her.
Is she?
She likes it?
Okay.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, she's not negging him into liking her like he was doing to her. It's true. She goes inside and he and he and he th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. th. th. th. th. a pumpkin. I gotta kill the snake. I was like, am I having a stroke?
I don't recall these words, meaning anything at any point in history.
I was like, somebody has to poop and pee at the same time?
What does that mean?
I'm a pumpkin.
I gotta kill the snake.
I assume that you're a pumpkin is it's after midnight.
Sure he's tired. I'm a the pumpkin, I'm a the pumpkin, I'm a the pumpkin, the pumpkin, the pumpkin, I'm a the pumpkin, the pumpkin, I gotta kill the snake that one I'm not familiar with.
I have to cut my penis off.
Maybe he cuts it off every night and reattaches it every morning.
I don't know.
But that's what it sounds like to me.
My tick is a flatworm.
Yeah, it just grows up.
Now I have two dicks.
Cut it in half, now I have four. Like Alan Tudix. Oh, I love that guy.
He's so funny.
He's so funny.
So before she leaves the garage area, though,
she like triple chains the door shut so a bird can't get in there.
Right.
And this will definitely not come back to bite her in the ass.
Will it?
It won't? It will? It will. It will. It. It. It. It. And 100. It. It. It. And 100. will. She starts doing some EVP work. Uh-huh. And what did she pick up?
Pianny? Pianny. Some crackly, sort of static-e recording, and then the piano playing on its own. And a little bit of the paranormal activity noise. Yes, the paranormal activity,
woo, and the, like a weird, distorted voice, which I feel like all of these movies used of this era. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And she can, she starts moving to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the to the to the to the the the the to the the the the th, th. Some th. Some thi, thi, thi, thi, the the thi, so thi, so thi, some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some some, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So th. So, like thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. thi. thi. So, th feel like all of these movies used of this era. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And she can, she starts moving into the dining room where the piano is.
Or no, into the, into the like, foyer, I guess where the piano is.
Yeah, it's like a sitting room, kind of, yeah.
And, uh, she starts talking to Madeline asking her if she's there and doing that ghost hunter thing of like, if you're here, say a thing to me.
Give me a sign if you want to be heard.
I don't know why they're so regal.
Also briefly sound of like Borat.
My wife.
For me or you?
Oh, that's funny.
Give me a sign.
Give me a sign.
My wife.
My wife. Yeah, you're right. Fucking bang on, Alan. New York City.
And so she moves closer to the piano. And she sees what?
DONG. Two keys fall down. It's nice. She sees them. It's no, by no one, it's nice. It's fine.
Here's where I have the note that says, this isn't a good movie if you are feeling rushed. If you're like, I have something to do later. This movie is not for you.
Yeah, we're like about a half hour in, and this is the first scare.
And it will be the last one for a while.
Yeah. But it's a goodie.
Yeah. But it's also not big. No, no. This movie is all about the subtle scare. It's a little scare. Yeah. And so she runs ths th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. tho. th. th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. th. tha. the. the. tha. the. tha. tha. tha. tha. thooo. tha. tha. tho. tho. th Luke and this is where she sees him in the baggy underpants.
Oh, it's so upsetting. I feel like I feel like a lot of women can relate to that moment where you're like,
maybe I could do something with this and then something like that happens and you're like, nah, talk no.
Dude, I used to wear trash underwear. Like just it doesn't take much to step your underpants game up. It's going to make you and whoever is seeing them feel better at the end of the interaction.
Just going to increase your chances of getting laid with no one feeling shame.
Exactly. Yeah.
Which is that should be all of our goals.
Buy some underpants with a tiny amount of spandex cantees.
That's all you need to do. Give them tight to your not-existent ass like myself. Hot tips from your friends here are all fabulance.
Pro underwear tip.
Yeah.
So Kelly McGillis comes out and she's mad.
Keep it down.
Yeah.
And then she's like, Lee, like, or Claire gives her the business.
She's like, you know what?
You're thii.
You're right. She does th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to too, to to to to to to to to to to to too, too, too, too, too, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. tip. too. tip. tip, prow. what I do and I love it. You're right, she does get very sort of indignant about her love of ghost hunting, yeah.
And Lee's like, hey, come into my room and drink these tiny bottles of vodka with me.
I'm a sad, sad lady.
Has she been stealing them from...
From airplanes? Because at first I was like, no way it is this hotel of a today. No. to thiiiiiiii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come come. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theea. thi. thea. thea. th at the licky store. Yeah, but she doesn't, I mean she could also just buy a bottle of vodka.
Yeah, if you're going to buy 18 little bottles, just get yourself a whole guy.
Yeah.
A fiver.
Maybe it's like how you put some thin mints into a bowl and pretend you're not going to go
back and finish the rest of the sleeve. So if you just get a tiny bottle. You're you, you're you, you're you, you're you, you're th, you're th, you're th, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like thin, you're like thin, you're like thin a thin thin thin thin thin thi, you're like thi, thi, thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, just thi, thi, just thi, you're thi, thi, just thi, just thi, just th, just thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thin thin thin thin thin thin thin bottle thin bottle thin bottle thin bottle thin bottle thin bottle thin thin thin thin thin thin thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. just thi thi thi. Just thi. I guess. Just inconvenient. That's all. It's
true. It's true. I like to be efficient. I like to be efficient. That's all. Maybe she came from
Utah where that's all she can get. Is that real? They have like laws about how much alcohol
you can put into a shot and all that stuff. I know their beers are like lighter than Yeah. That's gross. And they're afraid like their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah....... Yeah...................................................................... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.. Yeah.......................... the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Yeah. the. the. their beers are like lighter than ours, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's gross. And they're afraid of coffee or something.
Well, yeah, it's the devil's juice.
Look what it's doing to us.
Producing people like Lena Dunham.
She tells Claire that she can help her talk to a ghost,
and she gets out this little pendulum thing.
Crystal's on a pendulum. She's talking about how she was at a healer's gathering. And what she's describing
is kind of like what an Uber driver was trying to sell me on the other day, of like doors
opening and lights being green. And somehow it also involved an audio book of Matthew
McConaughey's autobiography, read by Matthew McConaughey, which is also about this, I guess. I don't
the whole thing was very weird.
That book, got a pull quote from Jordan Peterson on it.
Really?
Gross.
I know.
But he really cares about my client relationship management software.
When one door opens, another one closes, or whatever those people say.
So she's got this pendulum moving after Claire asked the questions
in a very specific close-eyed way about whether or not it's Madeline that's
doing this and she informs her that there are indeed three spirits in the
hotel. Who are they? Other people? They won't tell her who they are. No, but she
does find out that there was a terrible incident. Terrible tragedy, the basement, a mistake. You mustn't th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thu th thu thu thu thu tho the the the the the the thi the the the tho- tho- tho- the' the the the the the the thi thi thi thi thi the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooe the th out that there was a terrible incident. Terrible tragedy, the
basement, a mistake. You mustn't go into the basement. Can't save her. Yeah. Can't save her.
Stupid Claire. So then she goes to bed. Well then she takes a shower, no towels. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's what she'd dry off on. I don't recall. Shower curtain? Maybe. Just went to bed wet. the the th. the th. th. the th. the th. the th. th. the the the th. the the the the the the the the the tha. tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. ta. t? I don't recall. Shower curtain? Maybe?
Just went to bed wet?
Went to bed wet.
Um, I have-
This is where I paused the movie and thought that they were just building an excitement
right now.
But attention, yeah, no.
No.
Every time I see someone sleeping in her darkened room and she sees the
ghost of Madeline. Yeah it's fine. I mean it's fine it's a little bit ducy. Yeah it's
it's fine. It's a little budge though. A little budge, low budge. And she do, thankfully keep her very dark. Yeah, there's not, and she does, she never shows up for very long without something sort of between her and the camera. Yeah, it's thin. Yeah, it's a th, th, th, th, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, to. to. to. to. to. to. th, th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. to. to. the. to. to. to. to. to. the. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. sure. They do, thankfully, keep her very dark. Yeah, there's not, and she never shows up for very long without something sort of between
her and the camera.
But then we find out that this was just a dream.
Right, the alarm goes off?
Yeah.
And it's 1.08 a.m. and she runs across the room and the light is on? the light is on. Yeah. So she was a s was sleeping. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. She's. She's. She's th. She's. She's. She's th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She th. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She's. She's. She's. She's. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's th. She's s. She's s. She's th. She's. So, fun fact that I found out, she almost lost this role because she can't scream,
which I felt a lot of sympathy for her as a man who can't woo.
Oh right, you've lost so many opportunities.
Doors closing everywhere, anti-Matthie McConaughey.
I was told by Bolum that the, by my ballm, hello Mike. That the guy who plays Rick Flair in the Iron Claw movie is worse, that that that that th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thus, thus, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th. She, th. She, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thii's thii's thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th Hello, Mike? That the guy who plays Rick Flair in the Iron Claw movie is worse at wooing than I am.
How could they, how could that not be your entire audition?
Just wooing.
He apparently goes, whoa!
Oh, my God.
That's literally offensive.
That's literally offensive.
I wonder if Rick Flair has a cop right on woo.
Maybe he does it if anybody does it's him. Oh, I'm sorry, the W.W.E probably does that he can't touch.
He's an independent contractor.
But the way she screams is like,
BAH!
Yeah, it's funny.
I felt like they should have just not had her do it at all.
But it like, because the, this half of the movie is fun. It's funny. It's like, it's like, the the their their their their their their their little, thjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj. th. their little little little little little little little little little jokes, their little jokes, thi. their little jokes, thi. their jokes, thi. thi. their, their, their, their, their, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way, the way. the way. the way. the way. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thee. the. the. the. the. thi, thi. thi. thi. the. thi. thi. that's like her screaming like a muppet. It's kind of funny. And then she runs down stairs and her underpants.
Yes, and which finally runs the mom out of the hotel.
She leaves without her luggage.
She's so bad.
I've had it.
I'm going back to him.
Yes.
We're going back to dad.
Geez. Because he sees her in her underwear. And her underpants. We get a final guest.
Yeah.
Chapter 3, a final guest.
They're sitting at the front desk drinking beers.
Claire is in the back room.
And she hears the bell ding.
And this is after Luke tells her that he's concerned for her because she's like freaking
out about all the ghost stuff.
And I wonder, he thinks she's actually freaking out about all the ghost stuff. Right. And I just wonder, he thinks she's overreacting to this,
because he turns out he doesn't actually believe in ghosts.
Why is he doing all this?
To try and get into her panties.
He's been a long time on the website.
Yeah, have you seen the dumb shit
the dudes will do to t bell rang and then Lucas talking to an old guy who wants to stay in room
353 and he's like you can't stay on the third floor man.
This guy talks like a vampire.
She does and he looks like a vampire walrus. Yes like when you see him that is not at all what I expected.
Hello. Hey, what's a vampire's favorite vegetable?
Uh, I don't know, Katie, what's a vampire's favorite vegetable?
Boakoli.
I joke my child made up.
It's good, she's going to take my place on this show.
Oh, man. No, she's taking my place.
That's the Vicky's taking my place and she's taking my place.
Oh, I love th th th th th th th th th th th th, I love that. I love that for them. Yeah.
Then we get a vacation.
We can finally sleep.
We can finally sleep.
So he's really got to have this room.
And Claire's like, if you don't mind, like, no furniture but a bed, I can set you up
up in that room.
Yeah.
So she takes the sheets sheets sheetsthe room, 353, the honeymoon suite.
Yeah.
And when she like stands up with the sheets, he's gone,
which is a little bit of a scare,
but then it turns out he's just scooched over a bit.
Just looking at a photo.
Yeah. He says he's here for one last bit of nostalgia. Yeah. And he goes, he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. he's gonna. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. he's to. thi. thi. thi. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. th god he's gonna kill himself in that room. I'm making strangers find your corpse is just uncool. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.
Just cover yourself in nicotine patches and go to the woods to die.
I'm done. You end up just sprinting out the other side of the woods.
Oh yes, because smoking a cigarette just makes you want to run and run and run.
Patches don't hurt your lungs, my dude!
It's like how cocaine makes you run really fast too, right?
Oh man, what was I watching where someone kept saying cocaine?
Cacane? And it wasn't us?
No, cacane.
Do you also have a tattoo of a baboon?
A baboon?
What about a baboon? I love a baboon. Is he in the goon? What about a racoon?
Do you think anyone's amused by this but us?
Oh, I was going to say, yes, the two of us were married.
It's fine.
They're drinking slits.
Oh, I could drink a shlitz.
I've drunk my fair share of slits.
Oh yeah. Schlitz is top-tier trash. As a former free beer connoisseur,
Schlitz was often in a 30-cube
that you could scam a couple off people.
Sure.
So I do like that when she takes it up to the honeymoon sweet,
I was like, oh, she'll make the bed for him.
Nope, here's those sheets, Mr.
Do it on your own. He pays in cash and all these just like crumpled crumpled crumpled crumpled bills, how much is it cost? We don't know. It's not, it's more expensive
than the comfort end down on Route 13 we learn. That's true. This is where Lee comes back and
Luke's like, I heard you're a big drinker. Yeah. What the fuck would you say that? You're just like
embarrassing your friend. Because he offers her a beer and she's like, no, no thank you. And he's like, oh, I he's like, th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th th thi thi's like, the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they they they they they they they they they they they they th. th. th. the. the. theeeeee. thee. the the the the the comfort the. the. the. the. the. the. oh, I thought you were a big drinker. And she's like, he sucks, actually.
Ew.
He's a 40-year-old man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just embarrassing everyone, yourself included.
And then he's like, quizzing her about her powers.
Yeah.
And she does like a very terse description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description description. Sure. And then says something like, I have to be very careful in what I choose to share.
So she knows something more.
Yeah.
So she's really a psychic then in this movie's, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You ever seen that movie Steakland that she's in?
No.
We should do that movie at some point.
It's a really fun vampire movie.
Okay. So then she goes upstairs after she's been humiliated by Lee, because he's a, or by Luke, he's a really cool guy.
So cool. I had no memory of any of this.
Really? Just being a shihed, yeah. Yeah, vaguely, but yeah, for sure.
Yeah. There's a lot of this movie that just kind of goes by the waistside in your memory.
Yes, yes. It might as well. So theyenactment of Claire hearing the piano playing.
Yeah.
Why?
I don't know.
Because you know, if you're doing science, you've got to repeat your experiment.
I guess you can't repeat it, it's not science.
That's what peer review is.
You got it.
And a man 17 years or senior is her peer?
He's confessing his love to her here, but he's 40 and it's gross. Wait, no, that's after. They have to go to the basement first. I know, because she,
she's doing this in the sitting room and she's like, let's go to the basement to like kind of end it. Even though Kelly McGillis told us not to. His, when a 40-year-old man is about to say I like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to to to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to me me me me me me me me me me me, to me, to me, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their their their their their their their their their their their the the their their, their. their their. toe. their. toe. their. to to man is about to say, I like, like you.
I want to like light my hair on fire and run into a wall at top speed.
Yeah.
What if you were saying it to a 40 year old woman?
It's still cringy.
I mean, like, what you all do in private, I have no problem with, I just don't want to watch it. That intimacy, that intimacy, if I'm watching a thing, I want you to j you to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to a thing I want you to Jane Austin the shit out of it and say I have feelings for you
Or something like that made very chaste about it. Okay. All right. Not talking a little poke come through. Okay. It has come to my attention that
I'm aroused currently
I feel a little poke, come through from you.
How did that song get made?
How did it on the radio?
A lot of songs were on the radio that ought not to have been.
But I feel a little poke.
It's not complimentary.
It's not complimentary. It's not complimentary. They go to the basement and she flips on the light which pops and burns out.
Love it.
They go hunting around down there and it's a very like twisty turney basement.
I have the note that the basement is labyrinthine.
I love that. I wrote Twisty turney and that's why you're the smart one. But they start picking up the static again on the EV EV EV EV EV EV, which, which, the the the the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thic, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii thii thi thi thi thi thi the smart one. But they start picking up the static again on the EVP machine which stands again for.
Electronic voice phenomenon. Okay so it's not an EVP to get static then.
That's not EVP? No, no, maybe it goes through static talk.
He's also like they're super sensitive microphones and he keeps bringing it up to his mouth to talk to it. Which I assume is just, ah, go, go, g, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their, their, their, to his mouth to talk to him, which I assume is just, ah-gah-gah-gah-gah.
This is it, this is where they hit her body. How do you know?
Yeah. But then they get blown by the wind.
Right, they look down to the meter. And the meter is just meeting away, I don't know what it means, but it's up in the yellow. to it's picking it's picking it's picking, it's picking, it's picking, it's picking, it's picking, it's the the the the the thiii, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, thi, thi, thi, it's where thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi's where thi, it's picking up noises that they're not hearing. I see.
She says, Madeline, give us a sign,
and then the wind starts to blow.
And he's shaken like a leaf.
I absolutely love this scene.
I think it's great.
I think this scene alone is enough to be like,
Ty West, master of your craft.
Well done, sir. Yeah. It's really fucking good. It's really tense. And when she does the thing where she's like looking off to one side and then looks directly at him and says,
She's right behind you. Yes
But this is what I love. What camera does not spin around? No. And James won the fuck out of a ghost.
Haga. I'm gonna who? Exactly. Yeah, it shows you nothing.
It shows you nothing and you like it.
That's all I wanted if a movie show nothing.
We're always bitching about movies telling us and not showing us.
But this time we like it, and that's okay.
So he fucking beats cheeks out of the basement.
He's so scared.
He just runs like a motherfucker.
He runs like a motherfucker and he's doing like a weird crying sound.
Wouldn't you?
Oh yeah.
If we went into my basement right now.
Yeah, but I'm a little tiny scared bitch.
If we went to the basement right now, and you she's right behind you I would shitted
myself and then run out of the basement I would be talking about your dog who
was always at your feet he says to her that he made it up he never saw a
girl and then he's leaving he gets in his car would it what did you see
the sticker on the back of his car did I see the sticker on the back of his car? Thanks deadhead Dan for suggesting this movie I swear to he he he he to to to to to to to to go to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the their th. the th. the th. th. th. th. the? their the the? the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their th. I the. I the. I the. I theeeat. I theateat. I theeeat. I the. I theeee. I theee. I the. I the. his car? Did I see the sticker on the back of his car? Thanks, Deadhead Dan for suggesting this movie.
I swear to God we're being manipulated by Deadhead Dan.
Because we're like, oh yeah, the innkeepers, we should do that.
I feel like he just wants us to talk about the grateful dead.
Well, I'll tell you disco where there were a bunch of people talking about how they are
also dead.
Ew.
It takes all types, right?
No.
Yeah.
Ew.
Come on, at this one to nickelback.
I don't.
Yeah.
None of it.
That's an ill comparison.
So why are we all mad at Nickelback?
I know, I mean, I don't have any particular fondness for them, but there's a lot worse shit
in this world.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I can't think of a nickelback song now that I'm doing this.
There was one that had the lyrics about, you're on you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you that you that you that you are that you are that you're on that you're on that you're on that you're on that you're on that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the the the the the lyrics about the lyrics about the lyrics about the the the lyrics about the your knees with my hands around your throat. And I was just like,
Ooh, nickel back.
Nickel.
Grow up.
This isn't how we raised you.
So she goes up to see Lee.
How did, how did she get into Lee's room?
Just lets herself into Kelly McGillis's room.
You do not do this.
You do not let yourself into Kelly McGillis's room. What another 25 cent word? She enters her room unbidden.
Whoa, that's some Jane Austen shit, really.
Yeah, you're so chased.
And wakes her up by hovering over top of her,
fucking, that's how you get a sternum punch. Do not do that.
I would genuinely beat the shit out of a hotel employee for this.
I would hurt them. I would w. I would th th th already whipped your ass for talking to my kid about ghosts. Yes. I
won't whoop your ass for waking me up in the middle of the night. I think there
are particular situations in life in which it's appropriate to be violent. I know
you may disagree with that as largely a pacifistic person these days but I think if someone comes into your room and I to to to to to to to to the to to their to to their to their their to their their their to their their their their to their their their. their. their. their their. their their. their their. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I's. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. the their. Yes. the their. their. their.... Yes. the the the the the the the the th. Yes. th. th. Yes. Yes. th. Yes. th. th. th. th. I. I's. I's. I'm. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm t. I'm t. I'm t. I'm, you got weapons. You got weapons. You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Maybe I'm coming around to your ideas, actually.
When I go to a hotel room, I put on that like safety lock, I put the chair in front of
the doors.
Do you?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm terrified. Holiday Inn. Thank you. Remember when we stayed in that casino in Detroit? It was great. It was so fun that I couldn't get to your floor to say hello to you.
Yeah, they kept those floor secret, kept him safe.
Very much security.
So she wakes Lee up and she's like, a good ghost and Lee's like, well, I'll help you.
Yes, she gets out the crystal again. Yeah. Now this is where I stopped taking notes. I just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thoooo. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Now this is where I stopped taking notes. I just watched the rest of the movie.
I like it.
Yeah, I like it.
So you might have to lead me through a bit.
They go down to the basement and Lee takes her little pendulum.
And she's down there and she's swang her thang. She's swang it, she's gonna swang it, girl, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, and, s, s, and, and, and, s, and, s, and, s, and, s, and, and, s, and, s, and, s, s, and, s, s, s, s, and, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, and, and, and, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, s, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, and, you, and, and, you, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, s, and, and, s, and, s, and, s, and, s, s, s, s, and, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa, you, sa, you. Sa, you. Sa, you're, you're. they. they they they're. they're, you might. they they're. Sa, you might, you might, you might, you might, you. S Hummer. Young Hummer.
Hummer.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Humma.
With a flossy.
Oh God, who else?
Who's the feature on that?
He's terrible.
Flossy.
Flossy.
Flossie.
Flossie.
Flusted flakes is very good.
So. So. Flakes. Flakes is very good! So...
Flint Flossie. It's Flint Flossie.
It's Flint Flossie.
Thank you.
I want everyone to know I didn't look that up.
It just came into my hand.
Let me a smagett's girl.
Very jade-host of him.
Smash it and bang.
I also like him because he wears glasses.
Just a wire rims. That's how you look smart.
Yeah.
So she's doing her pendulum thing and then she gets spooked and drops her pangulum.
She drops her pangulum.
Pangulum hits the grand and shatters.
That seems like a bad omen.
That's gonna let all your magic out to crystal.
And so she's like we have to leave the hotel right now.
Yeah. And then you're in great danger. And then Claire's like okay let me go get my stuff.
Oh fuck what about the old man up in 353? I gotta tell him that I'm leaving. Right.
So she goes up to the old man's room and his door is open. Yes it is. She goes in there. And for some reason his bathroom is so far away from his bed.
There is a long hallway.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, that's the honeymoon suite.
Yeah, it's true.
I don't know why you'd want the bathroom to be far away from you and the honeymoon.
I guess.
I guess.
But you got to clean up after all that whole time. Don't take those glasses off. I hate him when you take your glasses off.
It always means I've disappointed you in some way.
Not disappointed. Just shook.
I'm not mad. I'm just shooke.
I'm not mad. I'm not disappointed.
I'm just horrified.
Very core of my being is shook.
You brought it up.
It's true.
It's true.
I of course was just thinking about the mess that I am.
Right.
I wasn't thinking about the partner mess.
Because women don't poop.
I don't know where I'm going with this.
So she finds a suicide note.
Yeah.
And then she's like, well, let me go into the bathroom.
Right.
Yeah, because that's what you would do.
And this man has slit his damn wrists
and then fucking Gwar style hosed this bathroom down.
What a monster.
What was his blood pressure?
I don't know.
Pulsating. It was just pulsating. It was like a
fucking 90s anime gush of blood that shot around this place. Ridiculous. He
slid his wrist and then just started a windmilling. Just put on a converge
record when a baby. But saying this it looks great. Oh yeah.
It's so upsetting. Eyes are blacked out or something. yeah. It's horrifying when she goes in there.
Oh yeah, it's so upsetting.
Eyes are blacked out or something.
Like it's very creepy looking.
I guess he just says heavy lid so you can't really see his house.
Right.
And she's like, oh, brother.
Oh, what am I gonna do about this?
Oh, what a day?
Who could have seen this coming? They can raise your hand. Well, this is the last time I'll be alive.
What's her?
See you later.
If you want a TV, let me know.
We'll move you.
Oh.
Oh.
That won't be necessary.
I'll be dead soon.
What?
Okay, well, there's a coffee shop.
She's a thi. And we also get this, she looks back in the room and we get this quick shot of Madeline hanging in the honeymoon suite.
Right.
And then Luke comes back.
Right, because he's not that bad after all.
No, he's still is.
No, yeah.
And he's like, hey man.
He means.
He's so sorry.
And she's like, well, uh, you got to go do a thing. He's like, okay, I'll go do a thing. Let's split up. Yeah. And then she hears someone calling her name. Yeah. Just like Peter Chris heard Beth
calling, but he can't come home. He's out on tour. Right. That's for all you young
heads out there. I literally was listening to Strutter when I pulled up in front of your house. And as I like went to unplug my phone, because it takes two adaptors, because, I, because, I, I, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to, to, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to, to, to to, to to to to, to, to to to to to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the it to work in my car. No Bluetooth.
I looked at the cover and I thought about you always being like one of the man to be the kitty cat.
I'm the demon, I'm the starman, I'm the space 8, I'm the kitty cat.
You're the kitty cat.
You are, you're the cutiest of You're the cutest of the bunch.
You can get one song. Yeah. And then in later years, they won't even let you play it live.
No. Beth, I hear. The song's stuck in my head constantly. Really? Yeah, so weird.
Yeah, what's last time I heard? I don't fucking know it's stuck on my head all the time. I couldn't know. I couldn't know. Strutter smokes thugs. It's a st st st st st st sta. St St. St. St. St. St. St. St. St. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. Sta. St. Sta. Sta. Sta. Stra-a. Strau-a. St. St. th. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. Sa. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. tha. jam. Dope jam, does the kids say.
It's a banger.
It's a banger.
Does it slap?
Does it still slur?
It's a slapper.
And that's something different.
We got to get a, was it, the Montgomery,
our 23-year-old?
Yeah, we got to get them on the line so they can teach they they they they they they the they the they the the teach like a class on how to be cool for us.
I don't think all people should be cool.
It's for the youth.
It's for the youth.
Cool, old people are always so weird to me.
Yeah, totally.
You're just trying.
Just be old, put in a sweater like the rest of us.
Right.
Oh, although not to take it was 60 degrees.
I know, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th take it was 60 degrees. I know, unbelievable. Fuck that shit.
Fuck it up.
Come on, World.
Um, we're fine.
So she hears someone calling and she follows them downstairs.
Nah, dog.
No, she is way too scared.
What do you doing?
I would never.
You would never.
And the voice is like, Claire.
And she goes, Lee? Certainly not. Lee, are you down here?
Like she's not going to reply again.
No, yes!
So she goes in the basement.
It falls down the fucking steps.
Hard to.
Her face is all wrecked when she gets up.
Yeah.
She's all fucked up.
I have a note that says she's all fucked up.
She's all fucked up. I have a note that says she's all fucked up. She's all fucked up.
And and and...
Ah, the old man is in the basement now?
Because he spooks her and she falls down the steps.
That's right, he kind of just scooches into screen.
Yeah.
Yes. And now he's downstairs like kind of like leaning for the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the themeaumeasteasteasteasteapeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabeabea's at the end of, is it the November rain video where he's painted green and like
reaching for the sky underground?
Or maybe the guy from the Enter Sandman video.
A lot of Axel Rose in this episode.
Unexpected.
He's also standing in a way that like his belly is hiding his peepee.
Yeah, sure, sure. His belly is definitely hiding his peepee. Yeah, sure, sure. Sure.
His belly is definitely hiding his peepee.
Maybe he cuts it off every night, I don't know.
I must kill the snake.
What?
You too?
Snake brows.
So she's at the bottom of the stairs.
She's all fucked up.
She's okay though.
She's gonna try to get out through the doors.
Not gonna happen.
No.
And then Madeline comes for her.
Not the little girl.
No, not the cute little braided hair child.
A different movie.
Different movie.
Different movie.
Different book.
But was that movie if I remember correctly. You're about to say Big Dick?
Big Dick energy in that movie?
Oh, Madeline, total BDE.
She cuts it off every night.
If you get fun of me...
Cuts it in two of them now.
Well, this is, I feel like maybe we need a week off.
I feel like maybe we're not okay.
You also pre-warned me about this one. I said I was feeling lately insane. Sorry, pre-warned?
What does that mean?
No, I pre-warned you.
I pre-warned?
Only if I had like yelled from the street.
Alan.
Oh, then I will be warning you.
When I get in there, hold on.
So, but I also like the like Madeline comeswell, it's super dark and then cut to her body. You get the epilogue title card and her body is being loaded out of the place.
Right.
And you're like, oh, that's sweet little angel.
She fucking died.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because she had an asthma attack, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she didn't have her inhail.
Yeah.
Also, why come her face is covered up but the man who's covered in blood his face is not covered up. Was it not covered up? No, they will his face like like we're going to think it's somebody else?
Oh I don't know. Yeah, it's very weird. Yeah, who else had been covered in blood? Just him.
Just him. Just him. Literally nobody else in that building actually. Yeah. And the cops, the cops outside and he's like, the the cop's the th. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the th. the th. thi's thi's th. the the th. the the the the th. the th. th. th. th. they's th. they's they's they's they's they's they's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the is the is the. the. the the the the. the the the the the the. the theto have to come down to the station and tell me that again. Yeah. Where's the actress?
Yeah, we're going to need the actress too, like already has a nickname for her. He seems very
exasperated that cup.
Absolutely.
All cheeses are beautiful.
Oh,
oh, because Lee goes to find,
or Luke goes to find Lee,
and then he's like, you knew,
and her response was, no, I didn't.
But I thought something might happen.
And she basically says she couldn't have been saved.
Yeah.
Which is odd.
Sure.
Because she could have just kept him out of the basement, I guess.
She had to save herself, but she couldn't do it.
Oy.
Oy.
So then we get this long, lingering shot, I had not paused again.
Good work.
Oh, Ty West. And long lingering shot of the doorway to to to the door the door the door the door the door the doorway the doorway the doorway the doorway the doorway the doorway the doorway the doorway to the doorway to to the doorway to to the doorway to to to to the doorway to to Shpul me once. Oh, Ty West!
And long-lingery shot of the doorway to her room.
Yeah.
You're going to get like again the scare of something popping out
and go, oh, yeah.
But you're also thinking there might be something subtly happening.
So you are still kind of looking, even though you know it could.
You get both The door slams and then the end of the movie. Wait, what's the subtle thing that happens? The door slamming.
It takes a really long time that happens.
It's not a guy going, go, go, goody, boogie, boogie, boogedy.
Yeah, ogity, boogety.
Yeah, and that is the end.
the end. Yeah. It's gonna piss a lot of people off.
So slow.
So slower than molasses.
Yeah.
It is, it is trying to get that last drop of ketchup out the Heinz bottle.
It's gonna take you a fucking ever.
Your fries are getting cold.
But when you get that shit on What could be gross about that?
Vegetables and sugar?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't dip it in ranch. That's weird. No, you are wrong.
French fries and ranch.
It's the food of Queens.
Told you a joke this weekend.
Did you? You credit me?
Of course. Good. Do you credit Tram?
I didn't. I stole it from him.
Yeah, I'm going to give this a seven and a half. I really enjoyed it, but I do think that,
I mean, it's obviously being a slow burn on purpose. It's not just badly paced. It's not just, I think it's well-crafted as a slow burn. Yeah, the last like 15 minutes are great. Yeah. It's not like, the thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th thi. thi's th. this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this th th th th th th th th th th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. And that's the beauty of the slow burn, right?
If you kick it into high gear right at the end.
Yeah, and it's not very, very high gear, it's not very high gear.
It's not like a James Wan high gear.
But I think you have like, for me, I have like, I've gotten such affection for this character
at this point.
I really like Claire. And it's that's that's that's that's that's that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not that's not thia. thia. th. thathea thathea thathea th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. that's not thi. that's not that's not that's not that theeea. that's not that that that that's not very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very thi. thi. I want her to be safe. She's just a little baby. She's just a baby.
She's a baby.
Yeah, get her away from that fucking pet her ass that's trying to date her.
Truly.
Katie.
Alan.
Can I read you an email that we got?
I would love that.
This says, accept KT.
Sure. I accept it. I just want to start by saying that you guys are the absolute B's knees.
Oh, thank you. Best podcast around, hands down. Are there others? A few? I have listened to all the episodes on movies I have seen and have now moved on to movies I consider garbage. Okay, great. I eat Annabel the nuns. Okay, you're on. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. I. I. I'm. to. to. to. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. t. I. I. I. t. I. t. t. t. I. t. I. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. garbage. Okay great. I e. A. A. A. A. Nabelle, the Nunn, etc.
Okay. You're on, you're on our plane. You're on our level. Just to hear you talk shit on them.
Thank you. I was listening to your Patreon episode on Crank. Thank you for being a patron.
Oh yeah. Yeah. God, what? What a stupid movie. Katie. Katie mentioned the show Rock of Love. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. You. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th. th. Rock of Love. Yeah. And Alan mentioned New York from Flavor of Love.
Oh my God, what? Well, how? How? No. No. No. No. Well, how. the totally free on Pluto. I did not know. No. My husband and I just re-watch them.
Oh, the today. I just re-watch them. Oh, and it's still fantastically gross. I'm gonna like download all of them and watch them on a plane to. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. to. to. to. to. the the to. the to. the the their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the the to. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. How. to. How. How. How. How. How. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. the the the to. the the to-s. the toea. toea. toea. toe. toe. them and watch them on a plane tomorrow just to horrify the people
around me. This next paragraph I'm very excited about because I'm gonna bleep out
the swear words in it but I'm gonna save them to you. Okay. New York from
Flaver of Love was just on a new show called House of the true. Okay. Omerosa was also on that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. to to th. to to to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I I I th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the to. the the the the the the the the the. You might remember her from the Trump White House.
I was gonna say she had some political times.
Yes.
Fucking hell.
Touring one of the episodes New York calls Amorosa
a K-k, gusling, a new y'kulling-ki
New York rules.
Which is just fucking fantastic.
That is so good.
Wait, why are you believing the swears? Because it would be funny. Okay.
A fucking sucking, guzzling, fucking. I have to believe him again. Yeah. I know it's a randomly weird, weird email, but these are things that I think while listening. Sorry for the language, but I feel like you guys are okay with it. We're fine. Thank you. Keep up the amazing episodes. to love you guys. Thank you. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. th. th. S. th. th. S. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. I th. S. S. I th. I th. S. S. S. I th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. amazing episodes. Love you guys, Mandy S. Mandy S. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for letting me know for all of that.
Thank you for being a patron. Thank you for letting me know what a
cocking, come, and repopulton, Omerosa is. And now Alan has to bleep it a third time.
Do you think from Michael Snow's lady's going bald?
If you glue a bandana to your head, are you really going bald?
I want to see like him focus on out of a shower and just have the bandana on.
That happens in rock of love.
There's a point where he's supposedly getting out of the shower and he has the bandana on. Dude, we know you look like Hulk Hogan. It's fine.
You're from Butler County.
You're can, it's fine.
It's really from Butler?
He's from Butler.
Oh, course.
Yeah, I think you went to Butler High School.
Really?
Let me take a quick look see on that for you. Do you know what his real last name is? Yeah, it's, it, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the, it's th. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's. It's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's. It's, it's. It's. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's th. It's fucking Western PA. Yeah, Butler, Pennsylvania. Nice.
Yeah, you know.
Look at me.
Look at you.
Look at me.
Look at me.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
He moved to Mechanicsburg.
Ew.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's like got nothing of a love for you for a Mechanisburg.
I don't know nothing about you.
Oh, nice. You're doing fine. I don't know nothing about you. He's got type 1 diabetes. Hmm? Nice.
Can crats?
I'm sorry, I'm reading about his personal life.
Oh, hmm. Does he go into him enjoying an unskinny bop-bop from now?
Is that that?
Yeah, unskinny.
Bop.
That was poison?
Yeah.
Okay.
to watch Rock Rock of Love. Sorry, every rose has his thwart Katie. I'm not gonna stop doing this.
It's fine.
Actually, I think I've run out of boys and songs. Uh, yeah, I'm racking my brain right now.
Well, just talk dirty to me.
Hey, so, um, you want to do another movie next week?
I do want to do another movie next week? I do want to do another movie next week. What should we do?
We should do a very special birthday episode for you
since we didn't do that before.
Okay, so I gave Alan my birthday movie, not that he asked for it.
I just gave it to him.
And then I regretted it.
Almost instantly.
So I'm doing the birthday movie I should have picked, yeah. Which is a movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the movie, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. We, th. We, th. We, th. We. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. We. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Wea. thi. thi. Wea. thi. thi. We thi. We thi. thi. A true horror film. A true horror film from our neighbors up north.
Oh yeah.
That's very.
So fucking Canadian.
We're going to do the peanut butter solution.
I haven't seen this since I was very young.
Same.
Yeah.
I think it'll be fun.
I just remember pubs.
There's like a dog with a boy with very long hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then
there was that dog with that man's face. Oh no wait, sorry that was an invasion
of the body center. Yes. The seigneur! That's what I remember. I'm very excited.
Well come back for that. Get stoked. Yeah. Go to T. Public. Yeah. Buy some where willfamamoof ambulance merch so you can wear it next time you listen
to us.
Wouldn't that be cozy?
You didn't get like tote bags and stuff.
Get yourself a toat bag.
Toad your records around in it.
Pittsburgh just banned plastic bags.
Go get a where old family's tote bag.
Oh my god, we should be selling them outside the Aldi. 25 cents let's do this. Now question mark question mark profit. Oh. And yeah, just
take care of yourself. It's rough out there right now. Yeah, everything sucks. Yeah. But we
love you, we think you're great. Yeah. So thanks for listening to another episode of
Wearwell Fabulance. Bye. Come back with a peanut butter solution. Oh boy.
Oh brother.
Happy birthday to me.
Happy birthday the pool.
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E&T.
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Obes crazily gone to dying.
A paranormal act of duties from Mr. Rogers City, EFT, EFT.