Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 471- Scarecrows (1988)

Starting point is 00:00:00 Alan, if I asked you what team was number one in Major League Baseball right now, what would you say? Uh-huh. If I asked you what team was number one in Major League Baseball right now, what would you say? Oh, uh, Dodgers, they're not in Brooklyn anymore, right? No, but they are tied for first place with this other team that I'm talking about. The Pittsburgh fucking pirates were gonna win the fucking World Series, and that's all I have to say for my intro. The man down and you blow, do you guys sing that at the game? Yeah, all, every inning. What did you do with with the the fucking with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock with the rock the rock the rock the rock the rock the rock th th th th th th thin' tho tho tho tho tho th in in in th th they they they they they they they they they're in in in they're they're they're they they're they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they their their their th thin thin that at the game? Yeah, all every inning. Every inning. Every fucking inning. What do you do with a runken sailor? What do you do with a runken sailor? What do you do with the runken sailor?

Starting point is 00:00:49 Like in the morning. Why, though? Pirates. Pirates. Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. the. the. th. the. the. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t-. t-. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t-. t-. t-. t-. t-. t-. t-. t-. t-. to. to. to. t yai. Hey, Katie? Congratulations, you're fucking doing it this year. We're going to win the World Series.

Starting point is 00:01:08 Are you getting behind the team? Are you going to believe? Oh, you're not good. No, I won the team until I get. I am a strict fair weather fan. Okay, but they're number one. They're number one. they've lost one game. Ooh, that's gonna start a trend, doesn't it? No, they won it tonight. Oh! On my way here.

Starting point is 00:01:26 You have to understand about a West Ham United follower. And they like to win two games in a row, then draw, draw, draw, lose, lose, lose, lose. Yeah. And lose, like, lose. Yeah. And lose, like, they were up the other day when I, like, had to go do something and had to stop paying attention to the match. They were up 3-1. I was like, in the bags, half-time and they're at 3-1, are you fucking joking? Yeah, they lost 4-3. Yeah, yeah, they did.

Starting point is 00:01:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they tied with some. Todin' the hot. Listen, that's not a sports talk. Sports talk. That's enough. Okay. That's enough. Look, I feel like we've hit our quota. Well, I've got some curling news. Oh, tell me.

Starting point is 00:02:13 Curling is not a popular sport in the state of Florida. No, it's not. Where the movie we're going to watch or talk about this week was filmed. Okay. This was my last chance to to the to the to to the the to the to the to the the to the the to this week was filmed. Okay. This was my last chance. This was my last chance to find the Scarecrow movie. Yeah, you did it. You found it. This is it.

Starting point is 00:02:32 What if I told you it was? I would be very happy for it. I don't think it is. I don't think I ever saw it. What was the definition or what the touchstones you remember from the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one the one th. the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. what are the touchstones you remember from the one that you saw? 1980s, scarecrows much like these and teens. Teens. And then I've been trying different combinations of those things.

Starting point is 00:02:55 Like I dropped the 1980s and we did the teens with the Lacey Chabare, it was not that one. We did teens in the 80s, but maybe there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't there wasn't th, th, I wasn't th, I wasn't th, I wasn't th, I wasn't th, I wasn't th, I wasn't th, I th, I th, I th, I was th, I was th, I was th, I've, I've, th, thi, the, the, the, the, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, they.. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. theycea, they. theycea, they. thethat many scarecrows. I mean, I've tried, I feel like we've tried it all. There was that alone in the dark, but that wasn't out when you were kid. I don't know what that is. It wasn't alone in the dark? Was that the movie we did? That's like the vignette that's based on the, or scary, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, or, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, thi, the, thi, thi, the, tha, the, tha, tha, the, I, tha, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, t, I, I, t, t, t, t, t.................... tt... ttttt. ttttttttttttt. ttttttttttttttt. tttt. t. toda, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, today, was, was, was, was, was, was, was, today, that was out when I was a kid. But that was, oh, the movie wasn't, yeah, the book was. So really, I hallucinated a scarecrow movie about 15 years ago. Copyright, copyright, copyright. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:33 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although, this had an air of Deja viewing for me, where I feel like I've seen this before. 100% and you probably thought you saw it on Mystery Science Theater 3,000. Although, okay, let's talk about it. Let's get into it. Scarecrow's 1988.

Starting point is 00:03:50 1988. I'm a freshman in high school. I am for. today. today. Cute. Ted Vernon, star of this movie. Yeah. Ted Vernon, star of this movie, later to be the, like, used car salesman king of Florida

Starting point is 00:04:08 or something. Fantastic for him. That's a big honor. This movie opens on some credits that are being cut in with an ever closer look at the scarecrow's face. And for real though, it is my fucking favorite thing I've ever seen. It is high art. Every time they cut a little bit closer to and you're like, they're not gonna do it again. They're not gonna do it again. They do it. It's the best thing I saw I've seen in a movie in 2024 by far. I will say the Scarecrow's masks look great.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Yeah. . That's worrying me that this might have been the movie? Because I sort of remember those. But am I remembering them from the movie I liked or am I just remembering them because I've definitely seen this before? I don't know. Oh God, I hope I didn't like this. I don't like this. Oh, that. I thea. thea. thee. the thee. the thr. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. th. th. the thr. the thr. thr. the thr. the the. th. th. the th. I th th the. thr the. I th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I th. I thr thr thr thr thr thr thr. I thr thr. I the. I the. I the. I thr. I the the the throoooooooooooo. I the. I the. I the. I the the the the. I the. I pretty much a child then though, let's be honest. 25? Oh my god, it was so cute though. It's cute. For the world's beating me down. Surprised that this was distributed by Metro Golden Mare. Yeah, this is a shit movie. It's, it's definitely like, I was reading the Wikipedia page and apparently they try to find, like, like, the local, like, like, like, they try to th, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, thi, it was thi, thi, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I was th, I was th, I was so th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, thi, this is a shit movie. It's definitely like, I was reading the Wikipedia page and apparently they tried to find like local actors from Florida to be in this movie. Okay. And there was no one who was good enough. Yikes. Except for Ted Vernon. Okay. Use car salesman. Is he the bald guy? He's the bald guy? He's the bald guy? He's corbent. Yeah. He's all right. He's fine. Yeah. The only person who has a th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's the the th. He's the th. He's th. He's the th. He's the only the only the only th. He's the the th. He's the th. He's the the th. th. the th. the the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. I. I. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's th. He's thi. He's thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. He's thi. He's the th. I the the the the th. I. He's the boss he's Corbin. Corbin. Okay. Yeah. He's all right. He's fine. Yeah, the only person who has a Wikipedia link is the news narrator Isn't it Mr. Wizard? Is it Mr. Wizard? I think it's Mr. Wizard? Yeah, that's Mr. Wizard? It's fucking Mr. Wizard. Was he in Florida? Oh, I don't know if I just made that up. He seems like a Florida? He seems like? He's the thi. I don't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the news. Is. Is. Is. Mr. W. W. W. W. W. Mr. W. W. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Mr. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. Which scares me that someday something's gonna come out about Mr. Wizard. Too many children in Florida and that guy. He's been dead a while. Sure.

Starting point is 00:06:09 I feel like it would happen by now. I mean, there's, I think you could definitely see him being short with children, which I love. Because like children are really annoying. Listen, they're playing with things that could really hurt them. Yeah, don't fuck, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Yeah, thu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu fu. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Sure, th. Sure, th. Sure, th. Sure, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. the! We are introduced to some paramilitary folks. Loose, loose quotation marks on paramilitary. They are the smartest dumbest people, who have just pulled off a daring and deadly robbery at Camp Pendleton.

Starting point is 00:06:39 The news talks about it like it was cool. Yes, the newsman is impressed. Daring and? Deadly. And kind of sexy. Kind of sexy. I'm like a little bit hard right now. Just half mask. It's me, Mr. Wizard and I have a semi. That's mean. That's a mean to, he's dead. He can't defend himself. It's true, but he could tell you about the blood flow to the penis. It's true. These people have hijacked a plane and taken hostages of the father and daughter who were on the plane. Why were they on that plane? They were just out doing father-daughter-sit. Because these guys robbed a military base. Yeah, how did they get on the plane, you mean?

Starting point is 00:07:26 I feel like they got on in midair, if that's your question. Like, why were these people on the military base with their plane? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what. Or right outside it? Why? Why Roxanne's hair? 1988. It's beautiful. You love it.

Starting point is 00:07:46 It's like, it's grand. It's it is hair sprayed to the nines. It is teased within an inch of its life. It's tease that like currently there would have to be a meeting in the auditorium about bullying in the school that Harris teased so much. Yes, strongly agree. That's a lot of teasing. It's like her entire face on either side of her face. It's amazing. But it's like, so you're gonna, first of all, her hair's very flammable. Secondly,

Starting point is 00:08:18 that's the hairstyle you wear into a paramilitary operation of thieery that's very daring and sexy? She's wearing some glittery makeup too, which makes me think that she also also th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. It's thi. It's thi. It's thi thi th. It th. It th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi their thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi thi teeeeeea tea teauiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiauia-s. tea-s tea tea thievery that's very daring and sexy? She's wearing some glittery makeup too, which makes me think that she also thinks this is sexy. She and Mr. Wizard both. Yeah. I mean, what's more sexy than crime? Honestly? If you think about it?

Starting point is 00:08:35 Nothing. Nothing. No. No. . . Launching this summer. Nice one, mate. Our Line of Duty Rewatch podcast that nobody wants. We'll get a whole new audience. Yeah, for sure.

Starting point is 00:08:51 Martin Compost. Compton? I was like, who's Martin Compost? Keeley Halls is going to do it. Oh, yeah, she's going to be on. We're going to get Vicky McClure. I'm going to talk to her about the hair the hair the hair about the hairClure. I'm gonna talk to her about the hairstyles they're giving her. I mean, she's a beautiful woman.

Starting point is 00:09:08 Why are they doing that to her head? Well, the first season is definitely because she came off that movie where she was playing a skinhead lady. Oh, so it had just grown in. She had like a little pixie. Yeah. coming this summer. So, one of my first notes is, oh no, a harmonica. Yes. Because unless you are, I don't know, Bob Dylan, I don't really want to hear that harmonica so much, Doug?

Starting point is 00:09:33 I genuinely never want to hear a harmonica. Really? Yeah, I don't like it. I never want, much like if I'm sitting around a campfire and someone pulls on on an acoustic guitar, they shouldn't bring an acoustic guitar that close that close that close that close that close that that that that that that to to to to to to to to to to to to to that to to th. th. th. th. th. th. thoom. thoan, thoan, thoan, thi. their, thi. thi, thi, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, th. Yes, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th.... I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. Yes, th. Yes, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yes, thi. I's, throooooooooooooooooome. Yes, thiii. Yes, th thi guitar. They shouldn't bring an acoustic guitar that close to a fire. It's flammable too, just like Roxanne's hair. And don't, don't harmonica at me because that's what you're doing. It's an act of violence. It's an act of violence. It's not, you're not consenting. It's unconsensual. And you know how many people are good? thing th people th people th people th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th the the the the- the. thuant thu- too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too, too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too too. too too too. too to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thooo to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to toer. Remember he had like eight of them all the way around his head? He had a bandelier. It's so good. They were in different keys, if I remember correctly, but I need that F major.

Starting point is 00:10:16 How do you tune a harmonica? I don't know, Ario Speedwagon. I do like Ario Speedwagon. Well you can't tune a fish. Yeah. Yeah, harmonicas, don't do it. How did we get here? Who has a harmonica? Oh, Jack has a harmonica. Jack is big and dumb. Big and dumb. Yeah. I also do like that, you mentioned the credits earlier. Yeah. And 83% of them are William Wesley? Yes! This explosion that he does here is fucking fantastic.

Starting point is 00:10:51 He does a fantastic job of this explosion. So I'm sending down to watch this movie last night. And Missy's like, well, I absolutely do not want to watch this movie. And I'm like, hey, they're with you. They're go with God. So she's like... Lycondios, Mississ, Miss, Miss, Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, thi, thi, thi, thi, and then, thi, and then, thi, thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi, thi. And thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And miss, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. And missy. And miss, thi, thi, th. And miss, th. And miss, th. And miss, th. And miss, th. And miss, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi. And thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi. Yes, thi's is thi. Yes, thi. Yes, with God. Yeah. So she's like... Viacondios, Missy. She's checking her phone.

Starting point is 00:11:08 And then she's going to head out of the room. And that explosion happens? She goes, huh, stuck her out a little while longer. That's the magic of William, or Wesley William, whatever his name is. Wesley Willis. It's so good. So, the paramilitary have stolen money. Three point five million dollars.

Starting point is 00:11:31 Yeah, I assumed in like gold or something. It's just bags of, it's like comical bags of money. It's comical bags of money. And I thought, Jesus Christ, how much does three and a half million dollars weigh? So I googled it. And in $100 bills. It's only $22 for a million. So you're looking at like 75 pounds worth of money. And then when we see the money, it's in 20s. Yeah. That's hundreds of pounds. Yeah. So they've, and it's all in a nice little cube. They've got a nice little cube and they're gonna parachute it out of the plane

Starting point is 00:12:05 Right and and so I just started making a lot of D.B. Cooper Cooper coupes to myself sure I'm glad you got to do that the one character I didn't know his name for the most lines in this movie and speaks to no one. Has the least amount of mouth movement in the movie. It's disgusting. For the longest time I was like, who are you talking to? Because it isn't clear that he's not talking? No, when he's shot in such a way that he could be like talking out of the corner of his mouth. Yes, that he's, it it that he's, it that he's just on mouth, true Barrymore over there. No, it's not. It's his inner monologue. And he thinks the dumbest things.

Starting point is 00:12:53 That's like, if I wanted this, I would have read Fucking Catcher in the Rye again. What is happening right now? And the things he's thinking are the things we're seeing, so it's almost like they were expecting this movie to be like specific to vision impaired folks because he's like god damn this truck won't start you're like I can see that you okay all right. Hi I'm William Wesley I have a blind cousin that I wanted to make sure he could enjoy this film maybe he helped produce it. Yeah so he's gonna steal the money and the way he's gonna steal the money is throw a hand grenade between the legs of a dog. Right. The oldest, sweetest dog that's ever, like this is the Methuselah, this is Yoda, this is just

Starting point is 00:13:33 the oldest dog you ever done, did see. The dog just chilling on the plane like it was sitting in the backseat of a car was very funny and I don't know why. That dog, it only can chill. It has no other mode that it can go into. Yeah, chill mode. So he pulls the pin and he throws their grenade and usually, you've got a couple seconds. You throw that. There's enough time for one guy to pick it up and go, huh, a grenade. Hand it to another guy and that guy's like, huh? What do you know, a grenade? And then he throws it outside, and th and thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thrown it's, throwns, throwns, throwns it's, they, their, their, their, throw, throw, throw, their, their, throw, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, and he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's, he's the the the the the the the the the the the the thrown. And, he's thrown. thrown. their. thrown. their. thrown. their. their. throwne. their. thrown. their. thrown. the throws it outside and that's when you get the lighter exploding that's the idea of this what this movie presupposes is that the people who just pulled off a heist of Camp Pendleton can't figure out a grenade. Not familiar a

Starting point is 00:14:12 Grenada? Grenadine. St. Pinsen and the Grenadines which I think is the best name for a band ever. Oh I like that. Yeah I wish it wasn't taken by a country. I have a note is this the true story of D.B. Cooper. I have a note that says Alan I don't think this is the movie. I could have told you that. How far in were you when you were like this isn't it? Last week when you were like we should do this the story with me? So what do you think you think I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. It I th. It I th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the.. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I t. I t. I t. I. I. too. t. too. too. too. t. t. too. t. t. t. t. I. I. I. So what do you think? You think I dreamed it? You think I hallucinated? No, I think it's you may, it might have been like an episode of a TV show. You might have been a- Rob insists he saw it too. Yeah, but you guys might have been hitting the wacky tobacco. Oh my god, I would never before watching a movie about scarecrows. How dare you? I'm the professional. This piece of this shit thia this shit thia this shit this shit thia thia thia thii. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. thi. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. This th. Robin. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This is is is. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. This th. th. th. th. th. It is th. It's th. S. S. S. th. S. S. th. S. th. S. thi. S. thi. thi. S. S. thi. S. the thi. S got night vision goggles. The first hour of the movie is shot mostly in night vision goggles.

Starting point is 00:15:07 And they are so high tech because they're from 1988 so they stick like a foot off his face. He looks like he's getting the best neck workout, just holding those things up. Just doing reps right there on his neck. They're not, they're not small by any stretch of the imagination. And he's just like wearing them like this is my everyday eye wear. Yeah, he takes them off and puts them back on and he uses them to see things that are clearly illuminated under the moonlight and then like other people can see things in pitch black and it doesn't make any sense. So he jump falls out of the airplane. Get stuck in a tree as you do,

Starting point is 00:15:45 cuts himself free, finds his night vision goggles that have fallen on the forest floor, and are fine. And are fine. And are fine, yeah. And then proceeds to show you everything in night vision as he looks for the money, finds a house and is like, why don't I hang out here for a little while for some unknown fucking reason. I don't know why he's doing that. I don't remember. No idea. And at this point, I actually rewound the movie because it was trying so hard to make me believe

Starting point is 00:16:10 that something scary happened. But it didn't. Mm-mm. He bumps into a scarecrow, which if you're a regular crow, is very scary. Yeah, it's meant for you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to to to to to to to to to to th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, that that that that that, thi, that that, that, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thin, thrown. thrown, thrown, throoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. And, thi, thi. Yeah. Yeah. And he says he keeps saying is in a graveyard but we don't see any evidence of that which is fine. Well he's saying he's in a graveyard but aren't they just scarecrow stands? Yeah yeah yeah yeah for the three scare crows that have gotten down to commit the murderizing. But there's so many of them all around the cornfield. There must be a hundred scare like? Like what is the crow issue that? the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that is, that is, that is, that is, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's, that's, that's is is that's is that's is that is that is that is that is that is that's is that's is that's is that's is th. that's is th. th. that's is th. th. th. th. that's is that's is that's is that's is th. that's is that's is that's, that's, th. that's, th. that's th. th. th. th. th. that. that that that that that that that the is that thi is that. that's thi's thi's thi. that's that issue that they're happening there. They should probably just abandon that land to the crows.

Starting point is 00:16:45 Yeah. Here's my first note that says Roxanne seems cool. You think so? She's pretty cool. You think so? I have at least four notes that says Roxanne lays down the law. Yeah, Roxanne tells it like it is, I would say. Also, Bert has a radio, that also, Bert has th, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, Bert, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, th, that's, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's th. th. that's thi. that's thi. thi. that's thi. thi. thi. that's thi. thi. that's thi. that's thi. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's compatriots talking to him on. Like I feel like I'd lose the radio. They're just keeping like, Bert, we're going to kick your ass, Bert.

Starting point is 00:17:10 Bert, we're coming for you, Bert. Oh man, those guys are coming for me right now. They're going to get me. I'm Bert and I'm going to get got. And that's what he's thinking. And that's what's what's what's what's what's movie. When Jack jumped out of the airplane, because Jack and Curry are the next to you to leave the airplane. And Jack lost his harmonica. And that is the harmonica that will come back at the end of the movie.

Starting point is 00:17:36 Don't you all worry about that? I mean, we have to have, you introduce a harmonica. You have the tho' It's Dostoevsky's harmonica. There you have it. Yep, yep. We keep being shown and we'll continue to be shown this photo inside the house of three men. One of whom I thought for the first like several times that they showed it was a scarecrow and I was like oh and this is our son the scarecrow. They showed it so many times that I kept like th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the oh and this is our son, the scarecrow. And they showed it so many times that I kept thinking like, is something supposed to be changing within it? Am I supposed to notice a difference? Like, no, the answer's no.

Starting point is 00:18:14 There's one point where the glass cracks in the frame, and then it isn't cracked to the next time we see it? Okay. Much like the fly swatter the fly fly fly the fly the fly that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. That that that that that that that that that th. T th. T that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the th. th. th. the th. the th. th. the the the. the the the the. the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. th. th next time we see it. Okay. Much like the fly squatter. Yeah, what was that about? The fly swatter that they magically turn into a key so we can start the truck that doesn't have an engine? So this was giving me strong... Wait. You think he started the truck with the engine? And then when he stopped, they came out and stole the engine. thr situation. I don't think there was ever an engine. I think it was pure magic, much like what's making the generator and the pump and all that stuff run. It's magic. Oh, scarecrow magic. Maybe this movie's actually good.

Starting point is 00:18:52 So this was giving me strong, like 90s, call of cath readers wrote in this golf because they one shot. Chaosiums printing it. Yeah, and and it's just like it's very budge RPG, but like it kind of endeared itself to me for that? Yeah. Like I kind of find, I kind of found all the budgetness of this movie very endearing. I think they did a lot lighter not with explosion notwithstanding. I think they did a lot with the effects. Yeah three million dollar budget this movie had. Yeah and Toto. In toto. So like and they got the lowest rent Tom Savini you could possibly get which is the guy named Curry. He looing a low rent Tom Savini. You're right that he did. Miss he was like is that John th. that John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John John. he. he. he? the the the th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I. I. th. th. th. the. tho. tom. tom. th. tho. tho. the. tho. th. th. I. I. the. I. the. I. did. You're right that he did. Missy was like, is that John Ham? And I was like, no, no, that's Tom Sveini.

Starting point is 00:19:46 Is that John Ham? They were very close up on his face and I was like, okay, I can see like, okay. John Ham like with a blurry wink or something. Gotcha, gotcha. So, yeah. Yeah. Inside the house, there's corn husks everywhere, giving you their their their their their their their their their their their their th. th. their th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. thom. th. thi. thom. thom. thom. thom. thom. thom. thom. thom. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. they were. T. T. T. th. T. th. th. th. T. th. They were. th. They were. They were. They were. They were. They were. th. They were. They were. th. th. they were. they were. th. they were. they were. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thoooo. th. th. th. thomomomome. they were they were they were thom. the corn vibes. Yeah. And we haven't seen the altar yet, right? No. Okay. I can't believe that I thought the scarecrow stole the engine after they let him drive away with it.

Starting point is 00:20:13 Like, it seemed so obvious to me. I really would like to have seen that scene. That's what I was imagining it like, hot, hot hot hot hot hot disconnecting things really quickly engines are heavy there's probably going to take two of them to carry it right sure yeah although they do have like that scarecrow strength that you hear about it is true just like being made of hay so he continues listening to the people he double-crossed on his headset he loves to he loves to hear it Roxanne and Corbin are the the their the the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. they. the the they. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they.'s a huge plane by the way. Yeah, oh yeah. It just keeps flying over this field so Roxanne and Corby can be like, he's there, he's right there, he's down there, he's right there.

Starting point is 00:20:51 That's it. They can see from the sky where the guy wearing camouflage is. But he has to wear night vision goggles to see that there's no engine in the truck and I was like what the fuck man? So he drives the truck and he runs over a scarecrow and we're supposed to be like don't-don-don. Yeah because it's all all got a hay body and a mad face. You know he's got like a hay body but a mad face. You know he's got like a hay body but a mad face. that's the sco-s. that that that that that that that that that's that's that's that's that's that's thia-in that's how I describe men that I like. Hey, body with a mad face. And we know that the scarecrows are upset because we see one in close up that's heavy breathing. Yeah, we'll see that a few more times, too.

Starting point is 00:21:33 But he will be why? To show that he's alive. Okay. Yeah. Oh man. So he finds the loot, after he finds the truck has no engine. Yes. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. He took the engine, lo, lo, lo, l, l, I love that actually.

Starting point is 00:21:57 Sorry, you're friends with an idiot. I haven't know if this is the crosses are empty because they have risen. That's not even how that story goes. No. So Roxanne is yelling at Kelly and Al, which are the mom or the daughter and father. Yeah. Like land this fucking plane in that goddamn bumpy ass field and it's like, we're gonna die if I do that. Oh, I don't give a shit. What are you talking about? I have a note here that says, hey Corbin start bagging some crow turds? Like this is a thing that one of the people says to the other over the radio because they're gonna stuff Burt full of hay and crow turds. I could not pay attention to the

Starting point is 00:22:38 you're not on-screen dialogue. Oh, I know. And that, I mean, ttruly this movie feels like a person who always needs to be talking like they can't have a moment of silence because some there's literally dialogue at every second. This movie is a punisher. This movie needs to get away from me at a party. Yeah yeah. Bert started he finds the loot he starts dragging the loot but in the loot dragging he drops his gun this big machine gun and doesn't notice that he's dropped it? Yeah, you'd think that someone who just, again, pulled off a heist of Camp Pendleton would be like more cautious about these things. Also, what is Burt's accent? So I think he's British. Okay. Uh, at some points he sounds Australian. Yeah, I was getting Kiwi vibes from him. Yeah, maybe New Zealand. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:23:26 I mean, you saw this movie before. I mean, I am an expert on this movie. And this is my favorite movie. So the scarecrows like start taunting him and or something? And so he starts shooting all of them? Yeah, he's big mad at the scarecrows. And there are a lot of them. So many scarecrows. But as it turns out, there's only three that can do things.

Starting point is 00:23:49 Am I to believe that? Or can there are spirits and habit more than one scarecrows? That's what I was thinking is they can like, they can like, they're they can like, they can your house because you're like, oh I really want to drink right now. Zoop, I'm in the kitchen, I cut himself a drink, walk back to the couch. Oh my god, they have figured out teleportation. Yeah. That's fantastic.

Starting point is 00:24:14 Smart-ass scarecrows. Yeah. So smart that they stab that they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. their. they're their. their. their. their. they're their. their. their. their their their their their their their their their their their their. I' their their their their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I' their. I' their. I' their. I their. I their. I their. I their. I's their. I' their. I's their. I' their. I' their. I' their their their their their their their their their tha. I' tha. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm too. I'm their their their their their their their their the radio being like, time to bleed, Bert. That's his friends. It's supposedly they could see all of this happening. It's insane. So yes, the scarecrow. But I have a question about that before we go into any further. Yes.

Starting point is 00:24:35 I don't think it's his friends that he's hearing. Because it the scarecrows can their teperns can't their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their-s can't is is is is their their their their their their their their-s th-s th-s their thi-s can't is thi-s can't is is they can't is is they's they's they's they can't is is their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their tie.e, tie.e.e. tie. tie. tie. tie. tie. tien-s. tieg-s. teats. teats. teats. teats. teats. te. teats. te. they can't is they can't they, but I think when he's interacting with the scarecrows, the scarecrows can teleport themselves into his headset. Okay. And they seem to know a lot about him, but they're, they're very rude. They, yeah, they are, they're really good at imitating people, the scarecrow men. Shagro shot of their photo again. Yeah, the scare cr-crowing-stabr-st. T sk-st. T sk-sts-sts-sts-sts-sts-sts-st. Tere-st. They's-st. They's-st. They're-st. They're th-st. th-st. th-st. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're their-in. their-in. their-in. their-in. their-in. their-in. their-in, their-in, their-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crowe-crowe-crowe-crowe-crowe. their-crowe. their-crowe. te. te. te. te. their-c-s. the-c-c-c-croweate. the-crowe. their-crowe. their photo again. So stupid. Yeah. The scarecrow stabbing him is really good though. Yeah. The scarecrows are legit creepy. They are. And that's what is upsetting me because I'm like, is this the movie?

Starting point is 00:25:13 Might be. Might be. We'll never know. We'll honestly. There's a real ardy shot of him bleeding on the money bags. You show us Wesley Willis. It's not Wesley Wesley. Not William Wesley, but Wesley Willis. William Wesley, or Wesley William? William Wesley. He went to the show.

Starting point is 00:25:30 It was a very good show. So, then we see the windmill start windmill in, and the water pumps start water pumping. And the generator started generating. But it's all in slow mo and I'm like, why are we patting with this? Yeah, why are we though? I don't know. Okay, great. Then the plane lands. And I have another note that says Roxanne's laying down the lock, because she's telling everybody what they need to be doing. She's being really mean to Kelly specifically. And it's like, Roxanne. thanks, the thanks. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thr-I. thrown. thrown. thrown. thi. thrown, thrown, thr- th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. th th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the the the to the to to the thea thea thea thea thea thea. Why the the the the that I don't like that. Don't pull the ladder up after you, Roxanne. Real second wave feminism, Roxanne. Fuck that. She is, I think she's like, oh, this

Starting point is 00:26:12 woman is competition for the men around here or something. Or something. I mean she does, she is a beautiful woman, both beautiful women. Oh, beautiful. One of them's a baby child. She's not though. So we get back to the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house the house, Jack the house, the house, th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the. the. the. to the. to the. the the the. I the the the the the. I the. She is the. She's the. She's the. She's the. She's not though. So we get back to the house, Jack and Curry get to the house. Right. I was sure that Curry was like the chubby dumb guy because like I wouldn't be named after food. Why would you have five bad guys and name them, two of them, Curry and Corbyn? Couldn't you just give them different names? Those sound the same to me. It's like one of the things that's always driven me bonkers about Tolkien is like, why is there Soron and Soromon?

Starting point is 00:26:53 They're way too close. They're way too close. And you were a creative guy. Yeah. And don't get at me with the philology. I understand why they're named those things, but anyway. Look, I don't understand and I do not want anyone to tell me. I've recently been deep diving on Tolkien again. Oh, you gotta get with Perry. He loves it. Oh, yeah. Oh, my god, yeah.

Starting point is 00:27:16 So Jack and Curry get into the house, we see the flyswatter and it's a flyswatter again. a key it's transmorgified back into a fly swatter. Oh yeah. Because I guess that's the default of that thing. I guess. Maybe it's... Nope. That doesn't make sense. Then we get this pretty good like tense scene of somebody walking on the roof and you're like, oh what's this going to be? Yeah, very much so. It starts out it's just the chubby-doppy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy guy the the topoppy the toppy toppy topi topi tapy tapy tapy-s the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the te te te te te te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. to to to to to're like, oh, what's this going to be? Yeah, very much so. It starts out it's just the chubby-dope guy. It's just the chubby-dope guy, Jack. Hey! And Curry is being very unkind to him. Yeah. Which like sort of comes back later where he's like, you were the only friend I ever had.

Starting point is 00:27:56 And it's like, well, you fucking thi-a, thuuu f f f f f f fa, th. You were a bad friend to him. And then Corbyn shows up. Yeah. And he's given some vibes, but I don't know what they are. He's smoking a cigar everywhere, which seems unreasonable for the situation. Would you agree? Yeah. Yeah. Because smoking a cigar is like, he's smoking a cigarette because he needs it. Smoking a cigar is like a leisure activity, right? So I felt like this was a like a nod to Schwarzenegger because Schwarzenegger's always spoke smoking a cigar.

Starting point is 00:28:28 He was like that's his thing. Okay. So it's like oh yeah he was like an action movie guy so we smoke cigars while he's shooting gun. He is the only buff one. Yeah. So I think he was like a boxer or wrestler or something. He's got those vibes to him. How does he, does he parachute out of the plane or does the plane land? Because every time we see the plane it's daytime but they're doing a like no we swear it's night time because they weren't allowed to fly that plane in the dark? I think he parachutes out but Roxanne's the only one that's the only one that calling the dad, daddy in a derogatory way, which I really like. That's mean.

Starting point is 00:29:07 Before it was envogue to call someone daddy. Right, and it's not sexy. She's like, oh, daddy. I love that. So mean. So, yes, Jack and Curry arrive at the house. We get these very long meandering shots of what we've already experienced because we were there with Bert.

Starting point is 00:29:25 Yeah. You gotta get through the eyes of Jack and Curry. Yeah. Well, no, you don't. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Just, the idea that these people would be capable of pulling off a military heist. Come on.

Starting point is 00:29:38 As the movie goes on, it gets less and less believable. Yeah, everything they do, you're like, are you serious right now? So Roxanne drags Kelly to the house but leaves Daddy on the plane. Why does she do this now? Because he's got to be ready to take off at the moment's notice. And he's just gonna do that, she assumes. But he's he won't her makeup and she's like, Kelly, you should do your makeup too. Kelly's like, ugh, and then in the next scene,

Starting point is 00:30:06 Kelly's doing her makeup too. After they're getting all the briars out of their hair. That's right. So stupid. It's like, I don't know. I feel like, I feel like, I claim Kelly as my own. And then it was like they were putting a makeup on. I was like, God, I hope they fucking kiss. I would love that. It would definitely take the movie in an unexpected direction. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kelly tries to steal her gun and Roxanne's like, heck no. Yeah. And that's the end of that. The dad gets a gun out of the plane and just starts running around with it.

Starting point is 00:30:45 And he's like, there's helicopters overhead from Camp Pendleton. Yeah. And he's like, oh, I should call him, but I can't call him, but I can't call him. Well, I'm not going to call him. So here's where things get confusing for me because they're like, okay, we've got to go check out the vehicle. If Roxanne and Corbine had had had had had th th th th th th th th th th and Corbin had had had th and Corbine had th and Corbine had been had been had been thin had been thin had been thin had been thin had been thin had been to to to to th th to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their the the the the the the the their their the the.a. their their their their the.a. toea. toea. toe. their toe get confusing for me, because they're like, okay, we got to go check out the vehicle. If Roxanne and Corbin had been watching him from the air, they would have known that he had been in the vehicle last. So why did Jack and Curry go to the house instead of beginning with the vehicle?

Starting point is 00:31:18 Listen, you've seen that house right? You think so? There's steps to get up to it? That's that's that's that's that's very very very very very. That's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's, that's, that's very enticing. You think so? You're like, how there's steps to get up to it? That's very exciting. No hot tub, though. Apparently, I was also reading about this movie that the house was a nightmare, because it was just falling apart in a swamp in Florida. Oh, great.

Starting point is 00:31:35 They rented it for $250 a month. Oh, thinneed it for three months. You're joking. Oh no. And there was apparently an awful mosquito infestation. It's a swamp in Florida. Yeah don't say. Oh no. What are they called? Is that what they call them? Yeah, I think so. Is that just to make them sound like they're not just our shitty city roaches? Yeah, they're fancy. What's a palmetto bug? Oh a palmetto bug? It does sound pretty. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a palmetto bug. Oh, a palmetto bug. It does sound pretty. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's got no pimentos in it. The scarecrows start yelling, Daddy,

Starting point is 00:32:12 Daddy, help me. What sons of bitches? That explained why I have the note, Pylea dad coming to the rescue, but the scarecroves have other ideas. Yeah, they sure they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they. Yeah, they sure do. They're gonna kill Pylea dad. Which is insane because later in the movie, Kelly is like, they don't want me, they only want you. And I was like, they killed your dad.

Starting point is 00:32:32 Like, why do you think they fucking killed your dad? Yes, and who the fuck knows? Yeah, she did like a leaf of logic there that does not benefit her in the end. Yeah, and honestly, they probably wouldn't have killed her dad. He was worse than they are at things. Sure. Oh my God. Oh, also we get the scene where they're going to look for the money and or Bert. Yeah. Corby and Jack. They do these military hand signals, but rather than looking like military hand signals they'd they'd their. their. they, they, they, they, they, they, they, their, they, they, their, they, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, the, thi, that, that, that, that, that, they that, that, that, thi, to, to, to, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, Jack. And they do these military hand signals, but rather than looking like military hand signals, they look like really intense dance flurrances?

Starting point is 00:33:13 Yes, they do. He's like, and one, and two, and one, and two. I feel like these guys had more stage theater experience than military experience. 100%. Yeah. So they get to the truck. Yeah, and they're like, my God, there's a scarecrow in there. We don't see the scarecrow in the truck.

Starting point is 00:33:32 I guess I don't need to see. That's fine. You just didn't want to move the camera. It's been scarecrow. Birds play in game. We see none of this. We, and we just cut back to the photo again. Yeah, and then what? Roxanne is just rolling dice and she rolls snake eyes. Yes, she does. She's just shooting craps by herself. I can't imagine anything worse than rolling dice by yourself. Just, you're not to be like, Snake guys, box cars. Come on, sit and daddy needs a friend.

Starting point is 00:34:10 So they find, they find Bert's parachute in a tree. Yeah. And it's real saggy and they're like, you bet he's sleeping in there and or something. Why would he be? So it's like, chubby guy, climb that tgy and they're like you bet he's sleeping in there and or something Why would he be? So it's like chubby guy climb that tree and cut it down. Yeah And he goes up there and he just starts stabbing it? He does he cuts it open and I think it's actually the guy on the ground who cuts it open isn't it? Oh, I thought it was Jack went up there. It doesn't I guess it doesn't. A bucket. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. thi the. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I the the the the the the t. I t. I t. I te. I te. I te. Yeah. I te. I te. I te. try. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. tree. try. try. try. a bucket of blood pours all over curry. It's so good. I was delighted by this. The scarecrows are just pranksters at this point. Yes, it's fun. I'm enjoying it.

Starting point is 00:34:54 Because they have put Bert's body in there, right? No, because they find Burt's body somewhere else later. Oh yeah, you're right. It's just blood. It's just blood. Where they. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's. It's. It's. their. their. their. their. their. their. the. the. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. S. I was. I was. S. I was. S. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I yeah you're right. It's just filled the blood. Where did they get that blood? Well when they emptied out dad and Bert when they stuffed them full of money. Oh right they had stuff them full of money and hey. There's something about capitalism in this movie but I'm just not quite grasping it. Wow. I'm grasping at straws. I was watching this. I was watching this on Tubie TV TV. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. I was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yeah. I. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Iubby. Tubby. At this point, it went to a commercial about having a bend in your erection. Have you seen this? Where they say, like, you could take this medicine and along with gentle stretching and strengthening penile exercises daily?

Starting point is 00:35:34 What? Yeah. What are you talking? I'm telling you. That was on the TV. The commercial is all pictures of carrots that that that is bent. I was like, I can't even with this. You just got a bent deck, deal with it. Yeah, apparently it's uncomfortable and embarrassing. Use it as a selling point. I mean...

Starting point is 00:35:50 I can hit spots that nobody else can. That's right. The roof! And once it gets where it's going, that should be pretty straight. I mean, it does tend to tend to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to tha tha the the the the tend to form, forget it. You don't make me crooked, Ricky. What the fuck is that? Okay, I know I'm an old man in a prude. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:17 But I don't want any more... I've been getting a lot of YouTube ads for women's exercise underwear so you don't smell your vagina while you're working out? Smell your vagina while you're working out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you know you get all sweating, your downtown gets real stinky. I feel like my head is too far from my vagina. No, no, when you're doing like, nose to crotch and stuff. I mean that one does relax me. Yeah, yeah, but then like, oh no my crotch smells awful. Okay, just have a friend. to to to toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be. to be, to be, to be, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their. the the the the the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the th. t. t. t. t. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. t. the t... crotch smells awful. Okay, just have a friend tell you about this. I don't need to watch a commercial about it. What is the ad for?

Starting point is 00:36:50 Oh, like me undies special like non-pussy-stinking underwear. Wow, I didn't know they made non-pussy-stinking underwear. I mean, this episode brought you by me undies, I guess. this thi? thuuuuuuuuuuuuu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thu. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi-I thi-I thi-a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a'a' a th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to-a. toeea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. toea. to on your butthool. It's like to take a fucking shower get out of here with this mess. Are you a hippie and think the pejuly is covering up that stink? It's not! It isn't. It isn't. You just smell like Fabreeze and shit. I love when people are like yeah I stopped using deodorant and I don't even smell you're like, hmm? Don't you, Hogi? You smell like a fucking Italian hoagie. Anyway, just go back to regular commercials,

Starting point is 00:37:32 and no more bears wiping their asses and Charminads. I don't need that shit anymore either. You don't like to think about shit being caked in a thick coarse fur. No! That's not appealing to you? No, you don't need to sell me the toilet the toilet to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their to their to their their toilet? No, you don't need to sell me toilet paper. I'm all getting. I'm gonna buy it. I'm on it. It's not a thing I think about.

Starting point is 00:37:50 Just have that old pervert squeezing it in the grocery store like we did when I was a kid. I don't know what you're talking about. There was Charmin ads with Mr. Somebody. No, but he was like the guy who owned the grocery storey when you come up and like squeeze people's Toilet paper while they were buying it and they're like don't squeeze the charm in Why not? I guess because it would deform the role. I don't fucking know it was just wild. Maybe you shouldn't comment on marketing sir. Maybe you shouldn't comment on marketing sir. I don't know what that means. I don't watch the Madman? Of course not. Should I? Because it's a critically acclaimed show of the last 20 years I haven't seen it.

Starting point is 00:38:30 I mean, do you feel like your masogny quota is not getting hit? I feel like it gets hit every day by 11 a.m. You probably don't need to watch Madman. Yeah, I think get hit by a car. I thought that's not how that works. That's not the first time I have heard that said to a woman. Really? Yes. Maybe it's worked for him in the past then who can say? I got him to fuck that guy right now. Oh my god he's right I am too pretty to hit with a car. Chokes on him I've been hit by a car. Must have been uglier. It beat the ugly out of you. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:09 Oh, so Bert shows up at the house now. Burr? Wait, Bert's dead. Yes. But remember he comes back and they're like, yes, yes. Yes, yes. Okay, yes. And he's taking him, beaten like a champ. That's right. And Corbine seems mildly aroused that he's beating the shit out of thes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the. Yes, the the the the the the the the the the he's taking a beaten like a champ. That's right. And Corbin seems mildly aroused that he's beating the shit out of this guy? Yes, he seems like he has an erection. Or he punches him so many times. So many times. The upside he thinks that his erection was just like going off at an angle and I'm like some light pulling. It must be uncomfortable and embarrassing and embarrassing for him. Burt can I want it to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the to the to the the to the the the the the to the the the the the the the the the the this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It he. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. It he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he this. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I, th. I, th. I, th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th. S. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. S. can I talk to you for a sec? Bert, have you heard about Mex Blalta? I noticed

Starting point is 00:39:45 about your thin dick and I wanted to help. Oh, and while they're beating him, Jack shows up, and he is eating raw fucking corn on the cob, and I wanted to eat this movie into the son if kids are still saying that. Yeah, that would give you the worst shit, right? It would just, I would think you would puke. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thin, thin' to to to to to to to to to to to to thin' thin' to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, to to to to to to to to to to thin, thin, thin, thin, th movie into the son if kids are still saying that. Yeah, that would give you the worst shit, right? It would just, I would think you would puke. Yeah, like it's just not, like you're cutting can process it. Yeah, that's why I think it would, you just shit it out whole. Yeah. He's trying to get Kelly to eat it. And she's like, no. that he's planning to eat. But while Corbyn is hitting Bert, Kelly yells, stop it, you're killing him.

Starting point is 00:40:27 And one of them goes, change your diaper, will ya? Which is one of those lines in a movie where you're like, you wrote that down, and then someone else probably okayed it. And then someone had to memorize it, and they had to deliver it probably a several times. Brutal. So when I'm saying change your diaper, am I like annoyed? Am I like, this will be a cute little joke between the two of us? Change your diaper, won't you? Oh, change your diaper! All that time you were just jacking us off with sandpaper.

Starting point is 00:41:02 Holy ghost. That's how you get the bend out. Yeah, I mean, you gotta just wear down one side, I would think. You played it. You just plain it. No one cares if your dick is bent. Relax. No one thinks about your dick but you. Suddenly, Burke comes to life. And because they open his shirt and we see that he's been autopsied?

Starting point is 00:41:26 Yes, he's got the cuts. Yeah. He's filled with money and straw. And this is where I realize they were all 20s. And I thought, Jesus fucking Christ, you didn't even have the budget for a few hundred dollar bills. What is the camp Pendleton doing with all these 20s. I don't know. Going to really upscale strip clubs. Oh, okay.

Starting point is 00:41:47 Welcome to Pendleton. Yeah, pendulums. No, no, that's not sexy. Just a pendulum's breast. Just a breast swinging at the end of a rope. Oh God. At this point, Jack says, I didn't think I was cold-blooded. And you're like, are you having an Am I the Bad Guy moment?

Starting point is 00:42:08 Because you are clearly the bad guy, we're told you killed like nine people earlier today. Yeah, but it was both daring and sexy, so it was fine. So they believe, before they cut Bird open, they believed that he drugged himself to mock them because they wouldn't be able to talk to him for him to tell them where the money was. The fucking most insane plot device I've ever heard. That is standard paramilitary. You grab any soldier of fortune in the back, there's ads for self-drugs. So some people can't get information out of you. Because otherwise they could just tie up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up up to their up and wait you up and wait you up and wait you up and wait you up and wait you up rest of your life, because otherwise they could just tie you up and wait for morning?

Starting point is 00:42:47 Whoa, wait, we don't have time for that. Yeah. So they end up shooting Bert, because he goes, he starts fucking them all up, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so he puts his hand inside of Curry fingers off, and we get this fantastic scene of him puking the guy's fingers up. It's disgusting. They're clearly bitten hot dogs. And then the fingers are on the floor wiggling. Yeah, it's great.

Starting point is 00:43:12 Wiggle-wiggles. And I was like, this movie rules. That is such a nice touch. During this big fight scene, this paramilitary badass Roxanne, to get the door unlocked. It's a rickety door, Roxanne, kick it! There's no window in the door and she's reaching through on the inside like, what? Hi, wah, who? Roxanne. Tim wit. She is a dim wit. We also see that Bert can still grip even without his fingers, which is weird.

Starting point is 00:43:42 Yeah, Tony Iome. What are you doing over there? Yeah. And so Corbent runs in and chops his head off with a machete. Yes. And Kelly escapes while all this is happening. Right. Right. And we go back to the photo. Don't forget the photo. We see the photo at least seven times. I honestly kept looking at it for changes. It never changed. And we see that there's like an altar which is a stump of wood with a knife driven into it, some candles, and then like a pigeon nailed to a cross above it or something? Right. Like a Christ-like bird. Yes, and we're also told, Jack said something to curry earlier about how uh, the scarecrows were up like Jesus and when you crucify someone you can't put it through their hand, you have to put it through their

Starting point is 00:44:30 wrist, otherwise it would just rip out. And then they do this whole thing about, like, you know, he does this whole monologue about nails through the wrists. And then when they put the scarecrows put the next person up on the thing, they put the thing through his hands and I was like, come on, fucking guy. You are too big of cowards to do this. He's also tied up with a barbed wire. Yes, right. Lost my fucking respect.

Starting point is 00:44:55 It's, oh, it's so silly. Oh, it's so silly. . Because the the their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoom. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the thi. thi. th. the the. the. the the the. the the the thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. th. the dad. It's the dad who's getting, he's getting strung up right now. My boy, Al. Because they're all like lightly bummed about killing her dad. Oh, no. But like, what about all the other dead bodies you left in your wake? Just don't give a fuck about those? And Corbon suddenly is like my mission and life is to keep this girl a lot. I am her thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. thuu. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. that. tho. th. tho. th. th. tho. th. th. tho tho tho. tho. th. th. th. th. tho. the tho tho tho tho tho tho the tho the the the the the tho the the tho. tho. tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. tho. tho. the tho. tho. tho. tho. tha. the. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. the the tho. tho. the of have a thing. There's definitely chemistry between the two, don't you think? I didn't get that but all right, all right. I'm just thinking about Corbin's hard on,

Starting point is 00:45:32 I guess, from punching that guy. So much, we're gonna have to get a boner bell. We need a gong for boners I feel. A dong gong. A dong gong. God you're so good. This is why you're the star of the show. Anyway, so they sent Corbine out after her. Oh, I wanted to ask, so the altar, the pigeon Christ, is this insinuating that these three fellas were like wizards or like some sort of like they were doing like witchcraft or something and that's how their spirits got imbued into the scarecrows yes is that what we're supposed to get from like that flash of an altar absolutely like the necronomicon is somewhere in this rickety ass house whatever you just said is what I 100% agree with

Starting point is 00:46:19 those guys were definitely wizards There's a Confederate flag in the background of the picture, but they're wizards. They're Confederate wizards. There are wizards who like to fly Confederate flags you just put Grant in front of it. But I mean, like spellcasting wizards. No, yeah. Not gross ones. I mean, yeah, I mean, they want to develop a back story for this, but really don't bother to do it at all. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:46 They're like, here's some ingredients, you make the cake. Yeah, it's like the second challenge on Grey British Bakeoff. I like the idea that they were wizzers. I also like the idea that they maybe committed some sort of crime and had to be, they were put into the scarecroes as punishment by some greater power. Oh, which makes no sense. Like some swamp witches down there just shoving people into scarecrows. Yes, Florida Bubba Yaga. What would Florida Bababayaga look like? Bubba Yaga?

Starting point is 00:47:15 Bubyaga? Are you correcting me? No, there's Babb Yaga. Hey all, I'm Bubba Yaga. I just kind of came down here. We're going to do a crawfresh fry and I'm going to put these three fuckers into scarecrows at the end of the night. I like that. Yeah. Instead of being in a hut with chickens feet, it's just got like cornstalks for legs. There you go. And alligators somewhere. Yeah, the threat. Yeah. And she can run run tha tha tha tha tha tha thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu. thu thu. thu. thu-a thu-a thu-a-a-a-a thu-a thu-a' thogu-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a thu-a thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu thu tha. Yeah, tha tha tha. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she can run a manatee. Anyway. Wow, that's really like joyous. Yeah, who's gonna ride a manate? That's a whi-ga. That's a flora? Like a Hawaiian print shirt. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's Florida. too'a wearing like a Hawaiian print shirt? Yeah. theyuga. Is it's a baby that wearing a that a that a that a that's like. Like. that's like. that's like. that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's a that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's. that's that's that's that's. that's that's. that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's really. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that's really really really Yaga. I was thinking more like Jimmy Buffett, Bubba Yaga, a little more Margar, a little more

Starting point is 00:48:07 Margar, I'm a little bit more Dugger. I'm thinking a little bit more Duck Dynasty. Okay, all right, all right, we gotta find the middle ground there. Suce, thu'a'a'gah, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy,! There's no tomorrow! I love that song. So much. I love that song so much. I love that song so much. So did your husband.

Starting point is 00:48:31 Yeah. It's because if there was an era of the maxi pads where we would drive around in our van playing that song we would like to roll up to the venue, blasting it wherever we were playing, Like once we got lost in New York and just like, no one had smartphones, we had them printed out MapQuest directions, we like made case and get out and ask at a gas station, but the whole time we just kept restarting from right now. So you're just rewinding the tape or was it on CD? It was on a CD. Okay, okay. We had a CD player in that, nice. Yeah, it was good. That's good. That's all. Love that song. Imagine just like a band rolling up in a grandma van. A band of maniacs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah, yeah, it's a synth-heavy song if I remember the curriculum, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's everything. Not a Van Hagar fan. Just that one song. If no one's jumping and doing high kicks, why do I want Van Halen? Zibah. Yeah, there's no weird white guy scatting?

Starting point is 00:49:30 Yeah. So the money is scattered everywhere. And they're like, let's just go pick it up? So that's another thing that the scarecroo's to, which I just want to see one like fucking strip club like shooting 20s into the air. Well another one is following behind like a flower girl with money in a basket just dropping it on either side of them. The third one has a leaf flower to make sure it gets in the trees. Because it's like in the trees and the bushes. Yes, it's so good. He's fucking idiots.

Starting point is 00:49:58 So they get outside and they get outside and they get outside and they get out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out. Okay, we're splitting up. Even though someone has actually killed her dad, you know? Yeah, we've seen him crucified. And they know this, so who killed the dad? It was not any of them. Yes. Yeah, okay. And then they're picking up this money and they're taking the money out of fucking Bert's body and it's covered in gore and they're like, we're gonna have to dry this out. It stinks. They're just wiping it. It stinks. This is stink money. While they're touching the stink money, Corbine's digging a

Starting point is 00:50:29 grave. For dad. Well you can't just bury him here. No, my father-in-law has to be buried. I have to put him in the ground. He never got to know me, but I'm sure he would have loved me. He also has an affinity for you's classic cars, much like myself. Yes. Jack has found his harmonica again, I think. Oh God, this is the true horror of the movie is him finding this harmonica. I don't know, because the scarecrow just backhands him, which is what anyone playing a harmonica in your home deserves. It's so good because he finds it. He's like, oh man, I'm a harmonica. And the sca the sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca sca The sca sca The sca The sca The sca sca sca sca, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, just, just, just, just, it, Jack, it, Jack,. I do, he, he, he, he, he, he, and I was like, fuck up. Just literally back hands him, like, like a naughty child in the, in the 1980s. I expected it to go into his throat and then he'd be doing like the, I would have loved that. That would have made this movie so much better. And also at this point you're just like, that, th, th, th, th a a a a that, that, that, th, th, thi thi thi, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's thi, it's like, it's that, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it. It th. It th. It th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's thi. It's thi. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, that, that's like, thi. It's like, like, like a movie when you could just plot along the entire way? It's like it's at

Starting point is 00:51:29 a three for the entire time. They paced it for each million that was involved. Okay fair enough. So we're back at the house and Curry's like doing his thinkens. Wait first? We see the scarecrows, they've killed Jack, and they cut off his hand. Oh, that's right. And they begin stitching it to one of the scarecrows, which I loved. Yeah, I thought that was cool. And then I was like, oh, but why? Because he's lost a hand. Because I got very excited because at first I thought he, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, they. the sca, the sca, the sca, the sca, the sca, the sca, the sca, the sca, the sc. the sc. their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. they. their, they. they. th. th. they. th. they're, they. they're, they. they're, they're, they. they're, they're, they're, they're, they he like the scarecrow just put his hand down and like it was stitching itself, but then you see like him like going in and stitch. Yeah, he's nothing if not resourceful. Sure, sure. So then we get Curry back at the house and he's like I think I know what's going on. I think we all died at Camp Pendleton. Yes, he's like we died and no one told us. Yeah. And then you're like, wait, could that be?

Starting point is 00:52:27 Yes. Yeah. Also, when you die, someone like, Katie, I've been sent to a, it's kind of a bummer. Oh, I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you. You were like caught up on your bills and stuff? Did you ever get to round the wire the wire the wire the wire the wire the wire to write the wire to the wire to the wire to the wire to to the wire to the wire to to the wire to the wire to to the wire to be the wire? to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be that wi wire? that wi wire? that wi wire? the wire the wire the wire the wire the wire the wire the wire. thii. that wiierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierierier wire? that wiyy. that wiy. that that that that that that that that that that that that that to be Did you ever get to rounder writing that will? Did you watch the wire because we don't have that in heaven? There's no wire in heaven?

Starting point is 00:52:53 No. But Eric Clapton thinks he's going there? Yeah, that's what I meant to say. That's what I meant to say. There's a great callican a special where he's talking about being at a restaurant and a woman's talking about what pronouns she uses for God depends on what book of the Bible she's in and he wants to lean over and go like, you know, if you think about it, it's probably they, them, because he's everywhere. But if you really think about it, it's a non-no because it doesn't exist, but I'm eager in a vegan caesa-cae-ca this is real. So maybe I should just shut up and go about my business.

Starting point is 00:53:27 Fair enough, yeah. It's a very funny bit. He's a very funny guy. Oh, God, I love him so much. Yeah. So, he's now convinced that all of his friends have turned against him and they're tricking him for Jack? For some reason and yeah he's just waiting for Jack to get back. Yeah he's convinced that Jack is not Ted. Right and that Jack is his best

Starting point is 00:53:50 friend the only friend he's ever had and he loves Jack so much like you should have spoken to him more respectfully. Tell your friends you love them not that they're assholes and push them to the ground. Yeah or do both things because they're both kind of funny. to push th th th th the their their their their their their their their th. I their th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah.. th. Yeah.. th....... th. Yeah.... th. Yeah.... th. th. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. Yeah. th. th. th. th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. Yeah. th. th push me to the ground. I don't think that I could. I'm just going to get on my knees behind you and wait for you to back up. Oh man. Never had that done to you? It's the worst. Having a chair pulled out from under you. Never fucking funny. Pranks. to pranks. No. No. if it's not funny to everybody, it's not funny. Same thing with April Fool's Day. The fuck, I hate pranks. Hate them. Hate them. Don't do it.

Starting point is 00:54:30 It's just everyone laughing at you. That's a nightmare. That's a nightmare. Yeah, I'm sorry. I believed your mom had passed away and I was sad for you. That's not a prank. That's not a known prank. That's not a prank. That's that's that's that's that's that's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a prank. That's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a th prank. That's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a that's not a th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I th. I th. I the th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I the. I the. I the. I thi. I feel like that's like every April Fool's Day someone's like, oh I got him, he thought that my dog died. She's like, that's not a prank, that's just you being an asshole. That's super believable. Dogs die all the time. So Roxanne suddenly becomes like fixated on money. Yeah, she seemed like she was, I mean at least somewhat reasonable before, but now she's just completely overtaken by it. So she goes out and she's hunting around from money on the ground, where their hands, a

Starting point is 00:55:09 little far out from her head, just hunting on the ground for money. Just looking for it. And she gets pitch forked right through the fucking hands. Love that. Oh man, it was great. I love that. Then she get stabbed thumbed, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thu. thu. the, the, the, the, tho, tho, tho, thi, thi, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, they, they, they, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the, tha, thea, thea. thea. thea. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, tha, th the tum-tum. Yeah. And then, you know, snake eyes with the blood. It's like fucking poetry. Really, really bad teenage poetry.

Starting point is 00:55:31 What a great movie. This was it. I've just asked to have been it. Uh-huh. So we, Kelly gets back on the plane. Because she's looking for Dax is the dog. It's, yeah, it's nighttime, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's night's night's night's thi, it's thi, it's thi, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's the. It's the the the the the the the the. the. the. the the theat's theathea' theathea' theathea' theat-a' tho tho tho tho tho tho's looking for Dax. Dax is the dog. It's yeah, it's nighttime but the plane only lives in the daytime, which I like so much. Yeah. And the dog is named after Dax Shepard. That's weird because he would

Starting point is 00:55:54 have been a baby at the time, right? Just a little baby. Yes, well the scarecrows are making dog. So the scarcrows are making dog noises, so she's chasing around. Yeah, she's like running around looking for the dog. Daxie, Daxy, come here. And they're like, oh, woo woo. We're wizards and dicks. Such good dog impersonators. But then Corbyn comes and saves her and like, he has to get her through a fence.

Starting point is 00:56:20 He gets scyhed in the leg. A bunch of times times. I I I I. Enough that his leg probably should not have been attached to his body anymore. Yeah, but he really cares for Kelly for reasons that mean nothing to us. And then she turns around and saves his life. Yeah, because she's all, because he's her new daddy and I don't know if it's daddy or daddy? I don't know. Is the second one supposed to be the sexy one? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. the second. Yeah. th. Yeah. th. the second. Yeah. th. the second. the second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the second. Yeah. Yeah. the second. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. S. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. the. the. the. the. the. that not sexy when I say it like that? Just like I'm from Boston. Hey, Danny, what are you doing? That's, I, look, I'm purposely unsexy. I'm putting sexy back. I'm putting sexy in a drawer where it belongs for women younger than I am. Enjoy it. Yes. See, I don't pull up that ladder. Behind me, you guys can have it. It's for you I don't pull up that ladder behind me. You guys can have it.

Starting point is 00:57:06 It's for you now. All the bent dicks are for you now, ladies. I have given up. Enjoy banana bob. And. Oh, we have fun. Yeah. So they eventually get on the plane.

Starting point is 00:57:23 Someone's in the fridge. Bert's head is on the plane. Someone's in the fridge? Bert's head is in the fridge. And talking. Yeah. There's a flashback of them cutting it off. Like I remember that, I didn't need to see it again. So when it was in the fridge, I figured, you know. And there's a phone call and the fridge opens when the phone rings and Bert goes, who is it? Like he's nebbing. Who's calling you? This movie is

Starting point is 00:57:47 endless. This movie is eternal. We Jack comes in. He's all fucked up but his teeth are talking but he's not really going and he's roaring but he can't move his teeth because he's like the shark from Ultimo squalo. And he has the night vision goggles on they didn't have to do makeup on that part of his face? Yes, he does. And burlap, I feel like some of him is also burlap. Sure, well he's part scarecrow. He's part scarecrow. Burl up with nightfishing goggles. Uh-huh Which is a question we've all asked. Yeah. We get more shots of the scarecrow's all breathing and like it truly why not. You've shown them to us three or four times what's one more? But then I

Starting point is 00:58:35 thought like I wonder if I'm supposed to be matching them up to the people in the photo. It was the same scarecrow every time. Oh, I thought maybe it would th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi that that that that that that that that that the same that that that tho tho- tho- tho- the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same the same that that that that that that that that that that that, that that, that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that the same same. I the same scarecrow, every time. Oh, I thought maybe it would like unlock a side quest, but I guess not. No. I don't think so. No, but when they get back on the plane, the dog is there. He was just chilling on that plane the whole time. Real like not my circus, not my monkey's vibe from that dog. Shit. Shit. They take off on the plane and it's Corbyn and his new bride daughter and child bride. Child bride slash bride. Child slash bride.

Starting point is 00:59:10 And then dad is on the plane with them. As a zombie or a scarecrow, I'm not sure, but he stabs Corbyn and is apparently coming for his former child? Yeah. Because she replaced him so quickly. And then Corbine grabs one of them slow granades. Yes, and she's doing a great job flying that oscillating fan. She's doing the shit at a plane that's not moving. And so Corbine grabs the grenade, puts it betwixt his tummy and dad. Yeah. And it explodes without damaging the plane. Yeah I mean this just a little explosion. We saw it earlier. Enough to kill Corbine though who's really been through the shit tod. Yeah. th. the th. th. the th. the th. th. the the th. the th. the the th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah................... the...... the. the. the.. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the.to kill Corbyn, though, who's really been through the shit today. And then good boy Dax goes over and starts eating brains or whatever he's doing. I'm glad he's cleaning up the floor.

Starting point is 00:59:55 And so the plane lands. Or no, no, no, we get the credits. And there's, we're back to Mr. Wizard voiceover. Yes. And he says that the plane landed in San Diego, right. Exotic location of San Diego, so it flew across America. It did not have to refuel at any point despite having done like a lapse around the property down there. And when the plane landed, the cops went on board and were attacked by a vicious dog. Yeah. Daxie, Daxy baby. So Scarecrow's in San Diego? Uh-huh, the sequel. Yeah, God. Maybe that's it.

Starting point is 01:00:32 San Diego Crow. That's, that's, that's pushing it. You're pushing your luck today. Scaredia, Crow. We'll workshop it. All right. We're getting to it. Katie. Alan. Since this is the movie that you've lived looking for. Is it though? How many? Crucified Dad? Are you going to give this movie? Hmm, when you put it that way, so I feel like if they hadn't had all of the internal monologue and all of the talking on the radio, this movie would have been fantastic. Okay. So if you could cut all that out, I'd give it an eight, but since you can't, it's a three.

Starting point is 01:01:14 Oh wow. Yeah. The movie never stops talking. It's so stressful. And you're like, movie? I'm trying to watch some movie. If you could... Shh! I can't even tell what's happening because you're talking over it. You? This movie won me over. I'm gonna give this movie a six.

Starting point is 01:01:30 Holy shit. There was just something like charmingly terrible about it. I mean, I think the effects are great. Yeah. The scarecrow's stabbing someone is awesome. It is. I mean we can agree on that. If you've got, I don't know, seven scarecrows so you could just move them all over the place at all times and you're making the most of your money? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's where it's where it's six. All right. Four and a half, we met in the middle. Yeah, yeah, maybe America could do that a little more. I don't think we should have to compromise to compromise to compromise to compromise to compromise to compromise to compromise to compromise to have to have to have the the the the the the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the other the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their their their th. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. tho. thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thoooooooooooo. th. th. th. th. th. the middle. There you got, that's called compromise. Yeah, yeah, maybe America could do that a little more. I don't think we should have to compromise with them.

Starting point is 01:02:06 America? No, the other people. Oh. Katie. Alan. Can I read you a review that we got that makes us out to be the heroes of our own story? I love to be very dear to me because I put out a call for a Har Movie podcast to listen to after catching up on a couple others.

Starting point is 01:02:33 What others? Are there others? And they responded with Wairwolf Ambulance. Little did we know that we would be launching a beautiful relationship. So thanks Katie Nallen and thanks for all the laughs you've given me as I've torn through the backlock. I fear I can no longer say Pecocock correctly. I find myself... I find myself straying my ears whatever anyone says Don or Dawn. Now you did that on purpose. I heard the difference. I whatever anyone says Don or Dawn.

Starting point is 01:03:05 Now you did that on purpose because I heard the difference. I was hitting it hard for you. Okay, thank you. And I hum the end. I didn't want you to think I just said Don twice. That's what it always sounds like. And I hum the end theme constantly. Thanks guys.

Starting point is 01:03:19 This is from soy and peridador? Sure. It means I'm a loser. Does it really? Yeah, have you ever heard that Beck song? I thought he was just a loser baby. He says it in Spanish? Yeah, soy and peridador.

Starting point is 01:03:37 Oh no, I had no idea that's what he was saying. Look, I don't really like Beck, but I do like that. I like that review a lot. Yeah, that review is great. Thank you. Soy X, I'm per-dador. Alan does languages. I'm pretty much duolingo.

Starting point is 01:03:58 I'm two lingoes. Two lingoes. What's the other one? Uh, not English, because I'm terrible of that too. To two, baboo babibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibibib- to to to to to to to that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a that, I'm a that, I'm a that, I'm a that, I'm a that, but I'm a that, that, that, I'm a that, I'm a that, I'm a that, I'm a that, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I that, I, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, I that, that, that, that, to that, that, terrible of that too, to two. Tattoo, baboon. Or Megadon. Katie, Alan. What movie did I pick for us to do next week? I know it's a Lucio Fulchie, but I don't think picking up my phone again to find it.

Starting point is 01:04:14 It's a little film he did. It's more of like a sword and sandal action movie. What really? that's. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, th. What, thi. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. A. the. A. A. tha. A. A. A. A? And it's also wild. It's called Conquest. Okay. Let me just say, there are fur-covered bone nunchucks in this movie. For covered bone nunchucks. There is a woman who wears a gold mask, nothing else but a snake. There are... Come again? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:39 Yeah, okay. There are like, where wolfmen. I don't know what they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho. tho. tho. thooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. It's the. It's th. I think they are. I don't know what they're supposed to be. Fantastic. Conquest. It's gonna give you everything you want to. Conquest. Conquest. Mike Baldwin, I once took an eight-hour bus ride to watch this movie in a theater.

Starting point is 01:04:54 Where'd you go? Philadelphia. Philadelphia. That's a rough trip to. long greyhound. It was nice it was this and a fulty western starring Franco Nero which I don't remember the name of the film. Yeah young Franco Nero per per. I mean even old Frank O Nero. Even as Jesus in the visitor. Yeah. Blonde blue-eyed Jesus. Speaking of Jesus, yeah we're gonna be on an episode of God-awful movies coming up soon. Yeah tomorrow. If you want to hear more of us this week listen to God-o the the the to to to the to to the to to to to the to to to to the to the the to the to the the the tho tho tho the tho tho tho tho tho-few tho-fewa tho the the tho-fewl-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-ne th. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to. to. to. the the th. the th. the th. thi. the thi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah movies coming up soon. Yeah, tomorrow. If you want to hear more of us this week, listen to God-awful movies tomorrow. We're talking about a film called Matthew 18. Yeah. Alan hasn't seen it yet so I can't tell him anything about it. I could read your notes. Don't. So go listen to GAM. Give them some listens. Yeah, what God awful movies needs from us is listens., I will ride their coattails.

Starting point is 01:05:46 Oh my God, yes. I'm sewing myself into the seam of their coattails. Don't forget to shake us up before you sit down. So come back for conquest, go listen to God-awful movies. If you want to be a Patreon, you can go to Patreon.com, back-sash-Wherolp Ambulance. We just released an episode about Enter the Dragon, which was very, very fun. Yeah. What's this month going to be?

Starting point is 01:06:10 I don't know, we've got to put up a thing. We're going to put up. Yeah, you' to get in now, you can't get to vote, you can't, you can't, you can, you can, you can, you, you, you, you, the, the, to movies there, well there's like 40 or some. It's like 46 now I think. Good Lord. Yeah. Have we been doing that for almost four years? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fock me. Where is my life going? Time is a flat circle. No, it's just. It's just linear. It's just it's just moving. Uh, it's just moving. Uh, like a freight a freight a freight the freight the freight the freight the freight the freight the freight the freight the freight the freight th. It's like th. It's like th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just linear. It's just linear. It's just linear. It's just linear. It's just linear. It's just linear. It's just that's just that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just that's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. It's just th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. train towards our deaths. Thanks for listening to another episode of World of Ambulance. I'm sorry. Is it the pool. No way to wait, Finland's to fulfill reviews.

Starting point is 01:07:18 Killing clouds and let the face. Can him have his face? A pair inside a basketcase. please make a kid in your grave. E&T. A moral comedy reviews hungry, Brian, from wings and Stephen Kang. E&T. We live deliciously, bad temperatries, crazily contendoudain. A paranormal act of activities from the street by true city.

Starting point is 01:07:51 EFT, EFT. END.

Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Episode 471- Scarecrows (1988)

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.