Werewolf Ambulance: A Horror Movie Comedy Podcast - Re-release: The Wicker Man (2006)
Episode Date: August 28, 2023Hi EMTs, Katie here. I had a rough week and was not able to record, so Allen and I decided to re-release one of our all-time favorite episodes: the absolutely wackadoo Nic Cage remake of "The Wicker M...an." We hope you enjoy it and we'll be back next week with "Slenderman," we promise. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey Alan.
Hey, Katie.
I really like this candle you have up here.
Yeah.
Yeah. How to get burned? How to get burned?
How to get burned? How to get burned?
Was it the bee?
The bees? Yeah. Yeah.
Real talk? How to get burned? Howe? to be? the bees? Real talk? I rewound. I've to watch the bee? The bee! The bees!
Real talk?
I overwhelmed and watched the scene where he's going, how to get burned, how to get burned, how
to get burned.
Three times.
You're so much more lyrical than Nick Cage, wasn't it?
Yeah.
How to get burned?
How to get burned?
That's good.
I like that. Welcome to another episode of Wherewolf Ambulance.
Hey guys, I'm Katie.
I'm Alan.
We're talking about the 2006 remake of the Wickerman.
How to get burned?
How do you get burned?
This is from Netflix.
In this remake of the 1973, psychological thriller, a California cop gets more than he bargained for when he looks into a young girl's disappearance.
That sounds like a great movie.
Yeah.
I would watch that.
Oh, wait, I did.
What did he bargained for.
What did?
That's a good question.
That's a cliche that, you're right, has no meaning.
What did, you know, the thing is he doesn't bargain for anything. the thi thi. He does not know how to ask a question.
How to get burned?
I guess he has that one.
God, it's so terrible.
I have a lot of love for the 1973 original.
I have never seen it.
I know.
I think you should.
I saw this one.
No, I saw this one.
I have a shot for shot. Yes. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to, thi. to, thi. thi. to, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. was a shot for shot remake Yeah, so if you watch the what was it Gus Van Zand did the D
Psycho remake with a shit
Christian Bale no no no no no Vince Vaughn what and Ellen DeGeneres his old lady friend
Porsche Doros no no no no the other one older lady friend
Who like lost her mind for a little while? Oh and and hey and he's yes shot, the other one. Older, lady friend. Who like, lost your mind for a little while?
Oh, Anhash, yes.
Shot for shot remake of Psycho, so you'd watch that and be like, I don't need to see
the Hitchcock one.
Yeah.
Okay.
Wait, what?
No, I mean, this is the same movie.
I don't need to see another movie. It's so not like that movie for all of its nonsense makes sense and this movie for all of its nonsense is just nonsense. Yeah it's chaos. I wish
silly and Camerfee was in it. No I mean yeah let's let's get into it. Right.
Why were the thing I just want to say there are a lot of really competent actors in this movie.
Oh, hell, yes.
Ellen burst in awesome.
Yeah, it felt so bad when she came on the screen.
I was like, oh, Ellen burst, I'm so sorry.
Frances Conroy is good.
Yes.
Yes. I mean, there are people in this movie who, I feel like, L'I feel like Dr. Cage set the bar in the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th and th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I thoompern, is th. I'm, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is, is. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. is, is, is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. is. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I. I'm. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. this movie. But she was good in other things, I guess.
I feel like Dr. Cage set the bar and everyone else was like,
all right, is that where we're going?
Dr. Cage, I didn't know.
He's so toothy in this movie.
He has false teeth, right?
Oh yeah.
But I feel like, they are now. They're just like, huh? They're that weird, false teeth, every tooth is flat.
Yeah.
Yeah, no variation in the depth of your teeth.
It's got a score by Angelo Bader Lamente.
His name I love saying.
It's a lot of syllables.
Who does like a lot of David Lynch stuff and twaq's and all that jazz. Who directed? thia thia thia th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, no, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. Yeah, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thea, thi. Yeah, thi. Oh, some dude who didn't do dick shit otherwise.
Neil LaButt. This movie, there are eight production companies that made this movie happen.
Qua? Alcon Entertainment, Bright Light Pictures, Emmett Furla Films, Equity Pictures,
Millennium Films, New Image, Red Bus Pictures, and Saturn Fil films. Why are they so required?
I guess because not one of them would be like,
yeah, I'll fund the whole thing, I guess.
They had to get eight of them to fund this movie?
Movie?
I think it's a movie.
It felt a little bit like a high school play.
Oh, but...
It felt a little bit like one of those Adam Sandler movies where he gets all his friends
together and they go on vacation somewhere in the Bahamas and then happen to shoot a movie where
they're there.
Yeah.
But it's like people who have never met each other doing that.
Beautiful island though.
Oh yeah, I would definitely hangthink. You don't like Puget?
I like it less than more you're saying.
Battle Lamente.
Batelemente.
The Netflix cover art for this looks like it should be a British crime drama, didn't
you say?
It looks like foils or.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like that was literally, I started it, I hit the down button so I could see how much time was left. Mercifully short.
Uh, was it?
I thought so. I didn't think it was that long.
It felt forever.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a hundred and two minutes.
I'm still watching it.
Yeah.
In my mind, in my mind, I'll always be watching it, British Rockwell. watching the Wiccaband remake. Who's playing tricks on me? Why am I British?
Why are you British Rockwell?
Like this quest we're on to discover why Rockwell is British.
Friend of the podcast, Gene is also on the quest to figure out what the fuck Rockwell
is doing because he doesn't make any sense to anybody.
Yeah, please find out.
Yeah, you rock well.
Can't be doing much now.
You know what?
I am, when I realized this movie wasn't going to be good.
I mean, let me put it this way.
I've seen this movie before, but I watched it.
You have not.
I have.
Oh, oh, shit. And truck goes by at the truck stop where the first scene is shot. And it just says W.M. Wickerman.
And I was like, go, fuck yourself.
Oh, who's the favorite?
Oh, fuck.
God damn, what's that guy's name?
James Franco is in this movie.
Yes.
Aaron Eckhart is in this movie.
And Jason Ritter.
But they're just like, yeah. What are they doing?
What are they doing at this movie?
Not being in the movie, that would probably have made it better.
Yeah. I would have loved James Franco in Nick Cage's role.
Just like taking his shirt off and being like, I don't fucking care.
I think Jason Ritter is really funny. Yeah, yeah, they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're they're, I they're, I they're, I they're, I they're, I they're, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd, I'd I'd they're fine. I'd they're fine. I'd th. I'd th. I would th. I would th. I'd th. I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd that I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd. I'd that. I'd that. I'd that. I'd th. I'd th. I'd the the the the the the the the the the that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that 't, I, after this movie and pay the ghost.
I don't know what dog is doing. Can we talk about his self-help books and tapes?
We can because I'm being introduced to this idea for the very first time. Everything's okay.
Oh, the ones that he has. I thought you met Nick Cage. Oh, no. Oh, God. That is a thing I would not purchase, but probably illegally a liiiii. to do do do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do to do thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. tho tho tho tho tho tho tho tho thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. to to to thee. toe. toee. toe. toe. toe. toe. thooooooooooooooo. I th. I thing I would not purchase but probably illegally download.
All right, what you need to do is buy a bunch of dinosaur moths?
Yeah.
And then some houses in New Orleans?
This is a good financial plan.
And then, oh, by the way, don't pay taxes.
And then, they're not pay taxes.
And then, they're not to sell it all because, becausethe self-help books. Tell me about these. I don't understand what the fucking point was. He just mentions them but they're never come up again. They're
missing and they never come up again. Okay so the car, the girl and the doll,
this girl keeps throwing a doll out of the car. Yeah. And then they
explodes. It's super weird. Why?, in the original, the towns folk...
I'm sorry, this is the original.
Yes, in the 1973 Time Traveling Remake.
Yes.
The towns folk are very adversarial with Nick K...
Oh my God, with Edward, who is the star of the Wickerman.
Edward Woodward?
It's a dumb name.
Oh, he's so great though.
But didn't anybody say that out out out think, we should probably change that?
That's his name.
That's his God-given name.
That's the actor's name Edward Woodward.
Oh, I think the, oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
Oh, I see.
the womantwo. Fine. But which I was like, come on, guys, what are you doing?
Yeah.
But yeah, so the town's very adversarial.
And I think they took that and are like, I don't know,
like just make everybody be shitty to him constantly,
like including this kid that he meets to the first.
Like, what the kids disappeared?
Is it ever the today's the thethere for sure because the lady cop knows about it. Yeah. But that's it. The lady cop visits him at his
apartment and they're talking about it and he's like who were those people in
the car and she's like, we don't know. We'll probably never know. Really?
Detective? Really? Because they just they were gone. Cool tude. She's like the car wasn't registered the car they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. They were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were they were they were gone. they were gone. they were they were gone. they were gone. they were they were they were gone. they were they were they were they were gone. they were they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they were gone. they you could believe that. How else will you ever trace it?
Oh God, that's the end of the line then, huh?
Welcome to the Give them up Police Department?
Yeah, cool police work.
I love when he is, like, so he pulls over this car because this little girls throwing the doll the doll towards, he's like, the doll, he's like, he's, he's, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, thin, tho, that, that, tho, tho, tho, that, tho, tho, tho, tho, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, the end, is, the the the the the the they..... That's, they. That's, thin, that, that, that, is, is, that, is, is, thrown, is just, thrown, thrown, is, that, thrown, thrown, that, is just, that, that, thatry to buy. Oh, that was kind of cool. I like that. I like a good bike trick.
And then she throws, he hands that doll back to her.
And then she throws it out again and a truck goes by and he goes,
whoa.
I was like, are you Joey Lawrence?
What's happening?
Whoa. And then, I don't know, they have a weird interaction, and then a truck hits the car?
Going the wrong way, maybe?
Yeah, just like, it hit the car.
It was aiming for the car.
Yeah, and it explodes, and Nicholas Cage sees the girl in the back,
and he's trying to break the windshield,
and windshield will not break.
I was led to believe they'd break much easier than this hole. The hole is like the size of a cantaloupe maybe. I would not
put my body through that. The size of his helmet that he used to smash the window.
Yeah. That child's not going to fit through there. She just stares back out of it and then explodes
and fire. Yeah. And that's the beginning for no reason. For no reason. It's never... And he keeps calling back to it. He keeps having flashbacks. And the girl and the girl. And the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, and the girl, the girl, the girl, the girl, thi. the the the the thi, thi, thi, thi, thiole, the the thi, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I, th. I, the. I, thea, thea, theateateateat, theatea. I tiea. I tiea. I, tiea. I, tea. I, thea. I's, thea, having flashbacks and the girl that he's looking for looks like the girl who's in the car or maybe is even the same actress. I'm not even
sure. It doesn't even matter. There's no reason. Okay.
He gets a letter in the mail that's written in the most beautiful handwriting. Oh yeah,
it's super, super nice penmanship. And it's been dropped off. It has not been postmarked. Right. And it's and it's and it'slover of his, his ex-fiancé, enfiant is on this island in Puget Sound.
She's like, it's where I grew up. Remember how you always used to ask me? And I was like, well, like, how is this conversation going? He's like, where'd you grow up? And she's like, eh? And I thought
that and then seeing her later I was like, oh yeah that makes perfect sense. This
woman is dumb as a bag of wet hair. And then I wondered was she always dumb as a
bag of wet hair or is this a surprise him? Okay, go on. Tell me about the letter. So the letter says that her daughter Rowan is missing and that he needs to, he's, he, he's he's to, the th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th is th is thi thi to thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi thi thi thi's thi thi thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi, thi, thi, thi needs to, he's the only one she can trust so he has to come up and find it. Find her. Yeah, find her, sorry. And on this island where he
has no legal jurisdiction to be there. No, he's not, it doesn't even, has nothing
in that state. He's like from California, but he's flashing that badge
around like it's gonna do him some good. So he hires a rap scalyant of a gentleman to. the the th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the the the thi. thin is the the the one is the one is the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the one, the the one, the the the the the the the the the the the the th. Find is, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. Yeah, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thin, thin, th. th. th. th. thin, th. I. I's, thin, th. I's thin, the the the thin. Find the the thin rap scalion of a gentleman to fly him to the island by offering to pay him
Grant and his twin brother's Ulysses?
Straight up did not know the Ulysses S. Grant is on the $50 bill because you don't see
a lot of 50s.
No, you don't. I filled out a rabbit hole reading about $50 bills on the internet, and it turns out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out out that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's that it's turns out that it's like just 6% of all bills printed in a year
Or 50s yeah not that many in circulation
Maybe I like I like legit had no idea and then I felt really dumb and then I was like fucking care
It's this cash I have this card and just does things I barely remember so who's on a five at this point?
That is um, Axel Rose as far as I know. The first thing that came to my mind when I was making that joke was George Thurgood.
And I was like...
Oh, and the Delaware Destroyers.
Why? Really?
From Delaware?
His original?
His original backing was.
I was once at a bowling alley in Delaware with George Thurgood when I was eight.
Yeah, is he the tell to be.
He was just just just just just just just just just just just to know. He was just telling the,
he was just, just kept giving his drink order. Oh, sure. Um, one bourbon. One scotch. One, one
one beer. Yeah. Um, there's a fairy in this movie and it's also blowing its horn all the time,
so I guess that's just what fairies do, just what horror movies are leading me to believe, having never been on a ferry.
I wish a horse had just floated off this ferry.
As did I, Alan.
Also he's just doing aftershave on the ferry, why?
Why?
Why?
Just splashing it all over his dumb face.
Right before he has a flashback of a girl getting by the truck on the ferry. Yeah, I was so stupid. I fucking loved that. Like, that's the kind of shitty I want,
a truck hitting a person on a ferry.
I have to say near the beginning of this
that I was going into this, oh, we're gonna do spoilers.
I was going into it.
Going into this, and I was like, you know what?
Gonna have a positive attitude going into this in half hour and I was like, son of a fucking butt and shovel, bucket, tick, a
fucking man.
That bad?
Yeah, I was pretty upset.
I'm sorry.
No, it's fine.
It was fun.
Wait.
I like getting that upset about dumb stuff instead of all the real stuff that I get that
upset about regularly.
Yeah, let's just think about Nick Cage. So he gets, you're right, he, he bribes the propeller plane pilot.
That's a fun phrase.
With pa money, pills, the 50s.
Oh, paper money.
Paper money.
All one word, paper money.
When they meet a couple of older women, one who has a braid like Ed Kowalchek from Live. You know what I'm talking about? You know what I'm talking about that? She kept
off from that chair to Christ, it was great. Yeah, yep. I do know when he had that
weird like Harry Krishna haircut. Why did he do that? What a gross man? I don't know. Yeah, Pennsylvania's own, Ed Kowalchik. May I telll-a, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, tell, t, t, t, t, t, t, t, th, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, thu, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you thi, you th. You th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th. You th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, you th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. You know, thin, thi. You know, thi. You know, thi. You know, thi. You know, ell a story that might be libelous?
Absolutely, we're never going to get sued.
Plug in lightning crashes right here.
So I grew up in a little town garden, Newark Delaware, college town,
and I was eating in Sabaro one day.
Sure you are.
As you do?
And I was like,
Yo, that looks like the guitar player of live,
oh shit, that's the singer, thia, thia, thia, thia, tham, that looks like the guitar player of live sitting over there. Oh shit, that's the singer from live.
I will know a commencate eavesdropping.
Yeah.
And then they were talking about how the singer from live like fucked two ladies and then
kicked him out of the room in the middle of the night.
And I was just like, oh, I them alone to love him.
It was a stretch. It was a stretch at best.
I ran into, not ran into, because I didn't speak to, but I looked at the Todys in Starbucks on
on Bigsville Road near my office.
That's pretty dope.
And I posted about it on Facebook and our friend Jeremy Hedges posted all in capital letters,
do you want to chai? And I laughed for like an hour. And that's that's that's that's that's that's th's th's th's th's thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thus. thus. thi thi th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to to to to to to th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I the. I the. I the. I thea. I thea. I thea'a'a'a'ea'ea'ea'ea'eate. I toe. I the. I the. th. th want to chai? And I laughed for like an hour. And that's running
into bands, I guess. I should mention that I ran into that band in 1995. Oh, so
they were like Pete. I mean, that's like... This was 21 years ago. My God. Yeah. That
story could drink if it were... It probably needs to to spice it up a little bit. For real. I mean, I saw live at Saboro. That was my story. I mean, I that I that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that's that's th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thathea. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I th. I's th. I's th. I's th. I was th. I was the the the the th. I was the the the the th. I was the the the the the the the the the the the the th. I was the th. I was th. th. I was th. th. th. the. I was t. I was t. I was todea. I was. I toda. I toda. I toda. I toda. I toda. I was. I toda. I toda. I t For real. I mean, I saw live at Saboro, by the way, that was my story.
I mean, I did see the Toadies at Starbucks, but it was literally three years ago.
I'd rather see the Toadies.
Yeah.
It's a good tom.
The guy's still kind of hunky from, you know, I remember him from the Possum Kingdom. if you will. How high. So he meets these women and there's two guys they're holding like a bag that seems
to be moving and he's like, what, you got a shark in there and everybody just looks at it?
It like, fucking makes a faul.
What, what, he got a shark in there?
Yeah, he becomes in the bag?
Is Kofy just a different breed of dog than Pluto? It's a good question. A
question stoners have been contemplating for... I know. One lives in a dog
house, the other drives a car. I'm sorry you had a question about the
back? What was in it? Oh I think that they have a boy child and they're
just kind of like, no, here's what happens.
Because this name is a man.
He was like, so what, if you boys, you kill them, you murder them, you murder the boys, you
murder the boy.
Because he cannot stop asking a question for someone to answer it.
And Ellen Burson goes real like, th like, well, that depends. And then she walks away and he calls her and he asks another question.
Fucking ask a follow-up, depends on what?
Like, come on, you're a fucking cop!
Ugh.
Also, you play a cop in so many movies you'd think you'd be better at it.
He's always a cop, right?
Yeah.
Do you see that movie where he's a cop who wins the lottery and he's married to Rosie Perez. What? Yeah. Well anyway he wins the
lottery but he says he it doesn't matter I was about to explain the plot of
it could happen to you a romantic comedy starring Nicholas Cage rosy
Perez and I believe Penelope and Miller. All right I'll take your word
that's a person. Oh she was um she was in kindergarten cop. She played she played Mary Kay Lattano in a bio-in the tum-in. the the th, it th, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn, it doesn, it doesn, it doesn't, it doesn, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn doesn't, it doesn doesn't, it doesn doesn doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's, it doesn's th, it doesn't, it doesn't, it doesn't, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it doesn't, it, it doesn't th, it doesn't th, it doesn't th that, it doesn't the that, it doesn't that, it doesn't the that, it doesn't that, it doesn't the that, it doesn't the that, it doesn't was, um, she was in kindergarten cop.
She played Mary Cale, the tumor for her.
She played in Mary Kay L'eturno in a biopic.
I don't even know what you're saying anymore.
I'm right though.
So yeah, so that's my Nicholas Cage cop.
Have you seen Bad Lieutenant Port of Call New Orleans?
No, but that is an extremely difficult phrase to say.
It's a Werner Herzog movie starring Nicholas Cage
that has nothing to do with the original Bad Lieutenant.
Someone just had the rights to the name, but not the story.
Weird.
So it's Nick Cage and Val Kilmer in New Orleans,
Okay.
In a Werner Herzog movie.
That's enticing.
And it is beautifully insane.
Yeah?
It is crazy time.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's a good tip.
If you're ever taking some medicine one night and want to watch an insane movie, I highly
recommend it.
I will keep that under my hat, under my belt.
I'm not sure what it is my hat I think put in your vest in close it's close to the jacket you are able to take your pants off a
jacket it's not a point 82 record yeah I just I'm surprised that you would say
that also he just is like asking everybody the most obnoxious questions like
he walks into the it looks like they've like sort of an in tavon that you would see in a d d in venture he's like everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything everything he he he he he he he he he he he's like he's like he's like he's just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th th th th the the the the the the the the the the ttty the the the the the the the the the the the the it looks like they have like sort of an in tavern that you would see in a D&D venture.
Beautiful, everything is beautiful, everything is beautiful.
He walks up to the bar where a woman is serving drinks, he goes, hey you're the barmaid
around here. What does it fucking look like?
What does it fucking look like? She might be the server. She might hits this island. It's like, what's it filled with women? Fuck them. Fuck them all.
This shit.
To be fair, this movie is, this movie's overarching theme is that women are monsters.
Yes.
Mm-hmm.
Murderous, terrible monsters.
I'll get this out of the way right now.
Please.
Oh, I would sacrifice the shit out of him.
What is that, city talk?
That's all.
What is Lelea Sobiesky doing in this movie?
What is she doing?
We mean, what is her character?
I don't know.
I don't know.
She shows up at one point and says So to go back to the, what were we calling, the sequel that's made back in time in 1973,
there is a character who is the barman's daughter who tries to, the whole thing in that movie is they have to kill a virgin, so they get a cop to come over who happens to be a religious person and a very, and a very, and a very, and a very, and a very, to be a very, to be a very, and a very, to be a religious, and a very, to be a religious, to be a religious, and a very, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, is, is, is, is aeaugh, is ae, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, isa, is a copsea, is a cop, is a person and is a virgin. Played by Edward Woodward. And she tries to seduce him one night,
basically giving him an out.
If he'll sleep, but not telling him that that's happening.
She's trying to like, she sings this very sexy song
that I'll plug in here.
Okay. Hey, who is there?
No one but me, my dear.
Me, my dear.
Yeah, it's hilarious.
There's a lot of sex in that movie, it's really funny.
Oh, weird. There's a lot of sex, and it's really funny, says Alan.
There's a scene where he, like, the cops pissed off about something, it runs out of a bar,
and he runs it to like, there's a field with just like 40 people fucking in the field.
It's just like, there's another scene where a naked woman is just Lee's one of his favorite movies he ever did. Oh yeah.
But, so I think I, I was like, okay, she's going to be the one that tries to like seduce him or
tries to like bring him in.
And no, nope, there was just that one scene and then she fights him later.
Yeah, she really doesn't imagine agreeing to marry Nicholas Cage imagine being like yeah all right I realized later that it was
all a long con but like still the longest con that's a very long con
wasn't he married to a Lisa Marie Presley whoa really yeah which is weird because he is
infatuated with her father. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And it even just seems like a trap.
Like when she's talking to him, it's clearly been at least six or seven years since they've
been together because that's hold the child is and he believes this timeline.
She's like, the only one I trust is you.
Like, why?
Why? It's been almost like the better the better, like the better, the better, the the the thiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thus is thus is thus is thususus is thus is thi, thi, thi, th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is th is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thi thi thi tooooooooooooi tooi tooi te te te te te is just just just just just seems thi almost like the better part of a decade. I just
remember what Lee Lee Sobieskys job is in this movie. Tell me. She gives the
exposition that their honey crop failed. Oh right because he wants he's
screaming, yelling around about this like not having their local honey,
having store bought and she's like I don't know that's what you get dick face like he's being so obnoxious. He I don't th. I th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't th. I don't know th. I don't know th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the the the their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tr. tr. tr. tru. tru. tru. trust. trust. trust. trust. trust. trust. get, Dickface. Like, he's being so obnoxious.
I don't know if he's supposed to be sympathetic.
Like, are you supposed to be like, oh, this poor guy is getting dicked around?
And like, he's a fish out of water on this lady island?
Like, ah.
I don't, I don't think so. I think this is one of those movies where th no th no to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be soes to be sympathetic to be sympathetic, to be sympathetic, to be to be soes soes, to be sympathetic, to be soes soes soes soes soes soes soes soes.. to be to be s supposed to be s supposed to be to be to be to be to be s to be s to be s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s s soes. thoes. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thooooooooooooooooooooespoomomath. to be sympathetic. toooooooooooes. thooooooes. th marks. Yeah, maybe. She's been burned to death.
Burn to death.
How to get burned?
How to get burned?
They also rehashed the letter at least six times.
Like, if you tell me one more time
that her daughter's been kidnapped
and you used to be engaged, like, I heard you.
You don't have to tell me again. I was to to to hear toldldldldldldldldldldlde you tolde you tolde you tolde you tolde you. to toe you. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. tooen. toe. tooen. to to to to to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get to get. to get. to be to be toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. toe. too. too. too. tooen. the the tooo. too. too. too. too. too. tooo. toe. toe. toe. toe. to't have to tell me again. I was listening. So after he gets this information from Lily Subyoski,
I do enjoy saying her name, by the way.
I don't know if you've noticed it.
It's a good name.
Yeah, but I meant to.
And so he walks up to the schoolhouse to find out if Roland was enrolled in the
school. And he walks past like six pregnant ladies I've ever seen. Honestly, honestly. It's just a pillow. Like, they make fake pregnant bellies.
You could just put on them.
I'm sure they had the budget for this $40 million movie.
It looked like a costume my mom would have made for me
when I was a child.
Oh, no.
Wait, I want to say one more thing about the Lili Sobieski. What was that like weird who's on first thing they were doing with the day of tomorrow?
I don't know. Like what does day of tomorrow mean? What's happening the day of tomorrow?
I just told you. I mean you mean tomorrow? Well I mean yeah I guess today today?
She's like it is a funny way of saying it.
Anyway, like.
Yeah, he's like, oh, I thought it was just like a local custom to say it that way.
Day of tomorrow.
What, I don't know.
And then they're both like, it's like almost like they both look into the camera and
it's like, it's like, they both look like, an exquisite corpse when you start like telling a story and like it goes from one person to the next person to the next person?
Yeah, okay. So it felt like that was it went from the one person who said the day of tomorrow and the next person was like, the the neu.
And the next person was like, what's that mean?
What's that mean?
the funn't of it's it's it's day? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the like it's five of eight. Is that British? Yeah. And I don't know if that means five till or five after eight? Five of eight? I think it's five till. Five till eight. Yeah. Okay.
Fine. They also put the date all weird. They're weird. They're weird. Weirds. You guys are weird. You guys are weird. I like we're talking about them like they can't hear us. And I want to be to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their to to to to their to to be to be to be to be to to to to to to to to to to tell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. Yeah. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell. I tell yeah, you guys are way better than us. Good job. Well, Brexit.
Yeah, you're done fucked up.
But that's going to be overturned, I think.
Anyway, so we'll see.
Okay, so he's in the school, schoolhouse.
So it goes in the school and the teachers telling, teaching the out about that. Yeah, he doesn't like that at all. Just straight out of the last, straight out of the original movie.
Okay.
He just turns around and erases the shit that's on the blackboard and just writes,
Rowan Woodward.
You don't have to write it down, you can just say it.
And the teacher's just kind, that's a big fuck you, erasing somebody's bored in the middle of their lesson.
To be fair, the children are creepy.
The girls are creepy.
They're great, yeah, yeah.
No, creepy.
Yeah, they're all great.
I love, yeah.
I love, I love.
I love, thrown goes if he opens it and a crow flies out of it. And he goes, what? He goes, what? What? What? That's literally, okay, fine. He totally forgot that it was gonna happen and it spooked him. Yeah. And they're like, we put it in there to see how long it would take to die. Yeah. All right. I had a cousin like that when she was a kid. She was a serial killer now. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. It. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. t. the. the. the. take to die. Yeah. All right. I had a cousin like that when she was a kid.
She, she's a serial killer nail?
It's a cherr, I see better, little red-haired one.
Yeah, yeah.
She's fine now.
She's super weird back then.
She like once he had, like, took a turkey bone from Thanksgiving, like, thanks, like, thi's, the turkey, the turkey, the turkey, the turkey, their. their. they. to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, too. too. too. tooomk. tooomk. tooomki. too. too. tooomki. tooomki. tooomk, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, she's, too. too. too. too. to. to. to. to. to. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She. She, she. She, she. She, she. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. too. toe. toe. toea. toea. toea. toea. toease. toease. toease. toease. toease. toease. toea. toea. was like, this is what's protecting me from the others.
And once on Christmas Eve, we were burning a fire
and she, I saw her just like sitting on the hearth looking
into the fire and I was like, what are you doing?
And she goes, if the fire goes out, I will die.
She was like six.
Dude, creepy little girls, the best. Yeah, she's totally cool. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. that. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to to. to. to. the. the. to. totally cool then. So I have the note, a lot of twins on this island. A lot of
twins, they don't really explain what that is, or why those blind twins are
always speaking in unison because that's not what twins do. The next note I have
says maybe just go home. So he meets with his a strange fiancé and she explains to him that it's his kid, this row in.
Yeah, of course it is, obviously.
It's his kid, question mark, dumb, is the note that I have.
Yeah.
And it's just like, he's incapable of asking a useful question, and she's incapable of giving a useful answer. So they're both just having these long conversations where it's like, but, I, I, I get, you know.
I do, and it was terrible.
Like, she never completes a sentence throughout the entire thing.
Her try, she looks on the verge of tears the entire movie.
Yeah, she's just like, look how pretty my hair is. It's really
pretty. It was really pretty. Her dresses were amazing. She's lovely. Yeah. She doesn't
have to think or speak. When you're a pretty pretty lady. My next note is dream
within a dream within a goddame it. Because it just kept going on this dream
within a dream that he was having like I don't even remember what the fuck happened I just remembered I was annoyed by it. Is it on the it? it. It, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was really really really really really really really really really really th, it was really really really, it, it was really th th th th th really really, it was really, it was really, it was really, it, it, it, it, it, it was really really really really, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was really really really really really really, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it was really really really really really really really really th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi, it was really really really really thi thi thi thi thi's really thi's really thi's really thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi within a dream that he was having. Like, I don't even remember what the fuck happened it. I just remember I was annoyed by it.
Is it on the dock maybe?
Because he does that dive into the water,
which was like, he dives in sideways, which I laughed at.
I also overwhelmed and watched that toys.
Because he's like running and he's gonna dive
and he's gonna dive and then he just like at the end the end the end the end the end turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns turns t didn't wear his teeth to catch the water.
Yeah. He also like takes off all his clothes to swim out to the plane, but not his t-shirt.
Like, swimming in a tea nicknage. Not feeling too good about yourself.
Then when he comes back, he immediately puts his dry clothes over top the wet clothes. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah, he flies. He swims out to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the plane to the the the the to the the the the the to swim the toe. the the the the the th. th. th. th. to swim to swim to swim the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. te. te. teats. te. teats. tea. tea. tea. teats. tea. tea. teats. toe. to swims out to the plane, which is landed again and the radio is all messed up.
It doesn't matter later, it'll be sunk with no reason or rationale for why it's been sunk.
Oh, I didn't know it gets sunk.
Yeah, at one point he goes down to the water and there's just like a wing sticking to the water.
Okay. Oh, and there, the ladies are mad at the propeller plane pilot because he brought in a cage over and wasn't supposed to.
Which he did for $100.
Which I guess in 2006 money is good money.
Wasn't it two?
Two fifties?
A 50s is a grant.
Oh no, it was.
Oh, a grant is twin brother Ulysses.
Yeah, you're right. 100 bucks. That guy did that. He lost his life, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, which, th, which, th, th, which th, th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which th, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which thi, which he did th, which he he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he he, which he was he, which he was th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, which thi, which he was thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. he thi. he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he, which he was twin brother Ulysses. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, a hundred bucks.
That guy did that. He lost his life for that hundred bucks.
Come on. He's like, no way, I want this job. I need to keep this contract. I need to keep them happy.
And then he's like, hundred bucks. Fuck yeah, get in. Come on. I wish that Eric Clapton song, it's in the way that you use it, when it just started playing.
So he meets a bunch of other people and it, well, I want to talk about his interaction
with Francis Conroy real quick.
We're both pointing at each other.
I don't know why we're pointing, but we're pointing.
He's at Francis Conroy's house, she's the doctor and the photographer, like
you do.
She really serves no purpose, but she's great because she's really great. Yeah. Oh she's a lady from the American Horror Story? No the funeral home show? Six feet under.
Yes. Yeah. She's from American Horror Story too. She's ever get into that show. Yeah it's a guilty
pleasure. You know what the thing is with this season every season of it they're good for the first like 80% of the episodes and then you just have to let it go. You don't need ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the they. they. they. they. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the thing is with this season every season of it? They're good for the first like 80% of the episodes and then you just have to let it go.
You don't need to know how it ends because it's stupid.
I tried watching the first one because Coach's wife was in that way.
Oh yeah, coach's wife's so hot.
Also you see Dylan McDermott's butt. Oh, yeah. Yeah, shit. Yeah. I can't the the shit. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. Yeah, I th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th. You th. th. th. the the the the the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to the shit of how terrible it is. Are you still in the first season?
Yes.
See, I like the first season okay, and then it ends and I watched two episodes the second season.
I was like, why am I still doing this?
No, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm also 11 year old.
Yeah, I'm the 11 seasons.
to supernatural.
Yeah.
. No one should be this deep in. I know a lot of people who are. Don't feel bad. I'm not a 14-year-old. A lot of our guests are deep in.
That deep in is super natural.
Hi, ladies' nightmare.
So he's at Francis Conroy's house.
And she has this large tome open in front of her on her table.
And he's like going to find out that it was you're doing
rituals of the like...
Gurg. I loved that because the camera would be focused on Francis Conroy and
Nicholas Cage and then it would just kind of like hand, back you to the book and it did it like
like six times. Oh by the way, hey guys, hey guys. Sit, over here, over here.
So subtle.
So he's going up to meet with Ellen Burston.
Sister Summers are at Summer's Is.
They're only sister something.
And he's like, yeah, I get it.
Another plant named when someone's named Rose or Ivy or something.
Fuck you Ed.
Right. Also, is Rowan a plant? I don't think Rowan is a plant. I don't think it is. They should have done better. It probably is. It's probably one of them British plants we don't know about.
God, there's so much better than us. So he's riding up there on this bicycle that I can't remember where he got. He took it from a sister teacher. Oh, okay, right. I knew her from her from something. I knew. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I their. I their. I th. I th. I th. I their. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. It's th is th is th is probably th. It's probably. It's probably th. It's probably is probably is probably is probably is probably is. It's probably is. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's the the the their. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably. It's probably I don't know. Oh, she's in Deadwood. That's where I know her.
Another question about that.
And I didn't look this up and I probably could have, where he's talking to her at the
schoolhouse.
And then he goes down the road and he meets another group of women and he's talking
to this one, the twin. twin. two. two. like you can't just say all women look alike that's like sexist you know I
really didn't think it I really didn't think it was the same person also not
a person to color in this movie for miles it's Puget San
that you are you the teacher no you literally just turned away and walked
away from her like what would she be doing How would she have gotten there before you?
Oh, we forgot to mention that earlier in the movie,
he killed a bee and everyone was like, ugh, what's wrong with you?
Oh, yeah.
We know that he's allergic to bees, but not enough to need an epipen, which. Do epipens for bees specifically say, be epi-a eipen, the bee, the the bee, the bee, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, say, thens, say, say, say, thens, say, thee, say, that, that, that, thee, that, that, that, thi, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, the that, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. that, that, that, thi, thee, that, thee, thee, the the the to to to the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thee, the, the, th No, they're just epipen. Okay, that's what I thought. No, yeah. As a person who's allergic to bees, but not enough to need an epipen, I will tell you that. Also, beastings are the worst, I'm
with him. I'm not a fan myself. No. So he's writing this Blake. Wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. So much finger pointing. One more thing. We're like. We're like. We. We. We. We. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. We're like. th. th. th. We're like. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. th. th. th. thin. B. th. th. thin. B. th. B. th. thin. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. B. of finger pointing. Go! Okay, fine.
Francis, he gets stung by a bee and he goes into shock and he wakes up because Francis
Conroy's been treating him and she's like, oh, we treated you the old way.
What the fuck is the old way of treating anaphylaxis, madam?
Like what, there's no explanation of it. And then later, she's like, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, is is is is is is is th. thi, is is thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, he thi, he thi, there's no explanation of it. And then later she's like, oh, we'll use your way. Like, what, you can't, what, I don't understand.
They're in Fuget Sound, I assume the old ways, weed.
You just got him high.
It won't help.
No.
Ken confirm.
That shit's still gonna get throwing too.
their hi.
Still gonna get thi.. to get, tho. tho. tho. to get, tho. tho. tho. tho. thi. to get, thi. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm tho. I'm going tho. tho. tho. I's. their. tho. tho. th. th. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I. thi. thi. groin. Oh no! Yeah. Oh bloody.
Can't get stung by those bees.
Don't do it.
No.
I'm with all their dicks.
They do what they want.
They are the other than one dog,
they're the only animals that have ever attacked me.
Fuck that dog.
Yeah, it was a bummer. this bike that he got from the teacher and there's a guy he there's there's a few dudes on this island but none of them will interact with him yeah they
won't talk to him they're silent like silent laborers I think all their
tongu's been removed they didn't show that would have been good if they did he he try to talk to one guy the guy to the the too the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the guy guy guy guy guy's try I the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the they I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I to. to. to. to. tong. tonge. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try. try and go. Yeah. I would love to live in a society where men are just silent labors, though.
Gotta be honest.
It's sort of the way we're going, I think.
What would this podcast be like, let's try it.
It's probably like most episodes where I just go and go and go and go and go and then you try to get something it? I don't think that. Is that pretty much it? Yeah, don't cry. I said, don't cry.
Oh, gee Zui.
So he's riding the bike and there's a guy loading wood.
He's like, oh, let me help you.
Loading wood.
Loading these big pieces of timber.
Yeah.
He's like, oh, checkly throws this thing up here and knocks the whole wood pile
down and has to save the guy because he did something wrong.
And so now all the wood is piled on the ground again and he goes, who?
And then just bikes away.
Yeah.
Why even, I mean, I guess they wanted? The whole island is made out of big pieces of wood. It's the Pacific Northwest.
So he goes and meets with Ellen Burston, and she's great.
She is fantastic.
Also, this is where this movie becomes,
like, the island is like half,
becomes like half commune,
half like Star Trek, the next generation planet that they're serving her and she's in this like big bed and like
everything is just very like ethereal and I was like, oh wow, where's Picard?
Where's the away team?
Fuck you, Jonathan Freak's. You're a scumbag.
Where's Wharf when you need him? Oh, you're probably getting his ass kicked.
And one of this weird mating rituals.
Fuck you to death, Wharf. So Ellen burst in kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind kind and kind kind kind kind and kind kind and kind kind and kind and kind kind and kind kind kind kind and kind kind and kind kind kind kind kind. And, the the the the the the the to, to they. the the the the their. their. their. they. their they. their their their their their their their their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the th. th. th. th. the th. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the the the the the the the the th Orpwell. So Ellen Burstin kind of explains to him what's going on.
How the island got started.
And it is, think of the dumbest thing you can think of.
Got it.
Was it that they were witches that were persecuted around Salem in the 1600s?
And then made it all the way to Puget Sound across fucking nowhere America? Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Pre-Oregon trail.
Pre-everything trail, like, they just made it like, ah, please go.
Witches can fly.
It's true, but they weren't witches.
Yes, yes.
Brimsticks.
I don't know what kind of mileage you get from them though.
I think they were using a broomstick to fucking type out the script at this point.
I mean, that could have been, there could have, you could have had them be wishes and somehow, I don't know.
It could have worked.
It could have worked.
But they were just like, bapah. When I read the synops synops synops synops synops synops synops synops, the synops, the synops, the synops, and it the synops, and it the synops, the synops, and it the synops, the synops, the synops, the synops, the synops, the synops, the synops, th, th, the synops, the synops, the synops, to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their, to their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, tooom. to, oh, I must have misread that earlier because this island must be off of, like, Maine.
Yeah.
There's an island chains out the Wazoo off of Maine.
Sure.
Nope, it's in the Puget Sound.
Maybe they're the witches who were burned in Salem, Oregon.
Oh, shit.
Is there athought so. Yeah. Maybe they just got confused about geography and where things happened.
Maybe they legitimately thought that happened in Oregon. I don't know. I don't know. What do you think,
Neil LeButt? Also in this scene where he's walking around with Ellen Burston, there suddenly
bees everywhere. There have not been for the previous 40 minutes of the movie. I do like how the hives are laid out on top of moed honeycones. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. That th. th. th. That th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the their, their, th. their, they's, they're, they're, they're they's, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's, they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they's they they's, they they they they they they they's, they's, they they's, they're, they're, they're, th. I th. I the, the, their, the. I the. I theat theat theat theat theat that that that that that they're legitimately they're legitimately they're they're that th minutes of the movie. I do like how like the hives are laid out on top of mode honeycombs. Yeah that was cool. I actually thought
that was cool because then when they're like marching doing their parade they're
like going through the path of the honeycomb. Yeah like. And there's that
abandoned church that he has to go to because he wants to dig up the grave of Rowan or whatever in whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever, or what in, or row in, or, or, or, or, what, or, what, the, what, the, the, the, what, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th is th is th is th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, tho, tho, tho, tho a tho a thoa a thoa a thoa thoa thoa thoa thoa thoa, tho a thward. And see what's in there, see if there's a body.
Is this where he sees that woman covered in bees?
Why that lady become bees?
Never mind.
I have no memory of that.
I don't know.
It doesn't matter.
I should say that I was watching this very late last night.
I got a little sleepy while I was watching. He was like a woman who's covered in bees and there's a man who's, oh maybe this is in Ellen Burson's house. There's a man whose face is all like gunked up but he's like naked in a bed.
Yeah, what the fuck?
That's later on.
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Sorry, sorry.
Oh, theymea's like he's like, he was like that guy was trying to try. That man was, no, Ellen Burson, you can do better. You're looking great. Your wig is fantastic. I'm sorry.
I drank a whole lot of coffee before he came over someone,
a little bit insane right now.
Get jittery, let's do it.
So he digs up.
Was it hot?
Yeah.
Did you burn your tongue? to that because he digs up the grave and in there he finds a burnt doll.
Yeah.
Because these dolls, see, dolls keep coming back.
Why?
I don't know.
Why wasn't it the same fucking doll from the car in the beginning of the movie?
Was it not?
No, it was a completely different doll.
That's really, I was like, oh, it's going that have told you? I don't know. There was some form of continuity going on in this film?
I don't know.
I don't know.
So he gets the fucked up doll.
I don't know.
And this is where your favorite part comes from.
How to get burned?
How to get burned?
How to get burned?
Do you think that was written that way? Or do you think he was just like, he's like peaking, you know what I mean?
Like, I guess he peaks, he peaks later.
I want to talk about where he peaks, Peak Nichols Cage.
Jesus Christ.
So it just starts going off the, I was gonna say it goes off the rails from here,
but it has been off the rails their tirel, but the, A TV of a movie. He busts into this woman's house. This woman who's in there with her two daughters.
He's starting to look at every child on the island to see if they're rowing.
Right.
Even if they were, they wouldn't be out in the open, probably, but whatever.
So we bust into this lady's house and she's like, do you have permission to be in here? And he's like, I don't need to need I don't to need I don't to need I don't need I don't to need I don't need I don't need I don't to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to look. I to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. I. I. I. I. I. I to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to look. to the to the the to. the the to. the the the to. the to. the to. to. the to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. He's climaxing. I love that every little girl is just fucking with him.
Yeah.
They're all like running away from him.
Yeah, they're all wearing masks.
He starts flipping their masks off their heads.
Like, he's assaulting these children for no goddamn reason.
Oh, he hasn't even got to the point where he punches every woman.
Every woman. Every woman. Every woman. Every woman. the note, this movie has no heart. No.
There is no joy or anything in this movie.
No, it's a hateful movie.
The next note I have says you can't just punch that lady.
And then oh, it's Kung Fu now.
Because he's fighting Lili Soby's game.
So, uh, he goes into the church at one point, is a dead wife?
Is she alive?
I don't even know what she's doing in this movie or his fiance, not like.
Who cares?
She was just saying, I used to be, uh, she was dead?
No, but she might as well have been for her acting for a wrests.
This used to be a very beautiful church.
Like, why is he, is he only only around because she's so hot? I guess.
Okay, I just want to be clear about that.
She looked like the woman who played, uh, oh, fuck, Lorraine, what's her face in, uh, the
conjuring.
Oh, Lorraine Warren, yeah.
What's that woman's name?
Uh, Vera?
Farnes?
She looked a tiny version of that. Yeah. Of that. Of that thing.
That thing that is a lovely woman.
Yeah.
No, I don't know.
He just starts beating up all these ladies.
He punches Diane Delano right in the grill.
Who was going to put on a bear costume, which, okay?
That he puts on the bear.
That has like a nylon over his face. I just don't. Okay.
You can see his face plain as day through the nylon. Plainest day. But when he runs up to his ex-fiance, he like listens to him, it's me.
No shit, Dick, why? Everyone here knows it's you. Also you just keep sprinting out of the woods while they were marching in a parade.
They're all wearing like animal masks and animal costumes.
Look, this part of the movie looked amazing.
It did, until it pans around at one point and you see the fish person?
Did you see the fish person?
I was like, you do not belong?
What are you doing?
At this point, Alan, I gotta be honest with you.
Go. I started just transcribing the script. Let's do this. Okay you explain
what's happening and then I'll be Nicholas Gage. Rowan shows up. They show him
Rowan and he grabs her and is running away trying to escape. Please be Nicholas
Cage at this point. No no it's when they get him. Okay so he eventually, I need you to continue. Okay I wasn't sure where we started. No no no I'm sorry. So he he takes th th he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes takes to to to to to to to to to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain. to explain to explain to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to ta. ta. ta. to to to to to to to to to to to the. to to to the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to th get him. When they get him. Okay, so he, eventually, I need you to continue setting up. I'm sorry.
No, no, no, I'm sorry.
So he takes off running with Rowan and they kind of do the circular route that she ends up
back in the arms of Ellen Burston and her mother.
And it turns out that Ellen, it's the itself over and over and like this couldn't have been announced I don't understand like why it's not
shocking when it happens no just like a thing like oh that your mom okay
it's like a snake eating its tail but the snake has been dead for years
and it's not very hungry and it's just gonna yeah it's just like death gas I told you I was gonna eat all the all you can eat the bread sticks before I left this all garden. So they said all I could eat.
So they eventually nail him to the ground
after they rip off his bear costume,
leaving the bare feet on him though, which is joyous.
I liked all of those things.
Okay, here's where it kicks in.
You bitches.
This is murder.
Murder! You'll all be guilty. And you're doing it for nothing!
Killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey? I don't get it! I don't believe in your gods!
I don't believe in sacrifice! What is it? What is it? What is it? What is it?
Did they hovel him?
Oh, when you break someone's ankle? Like in misery when she breaks his ankles.
Maybe? Because they like put his legs up over a thing. Oh, the pieces of wood, not the thing, the pieces of wood that he had previously knocked
off the truck.
That's how we knew they existed.
And there's like a crunching noise and he screams but they don't show anything.
Yeah, must have been.
So they break on to the YouTube's, you can find the bees thing is just like a loop on a YouTube video
of it, just him screaming about the bees.
So I thought that was the end of the movie.
I was like, oh, this is gonna be the climax of the film.
They just put that bee thing on him for no fucking reason.
And then they tak it right back off. And then they'd they give they they give him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him him they. He they. He they. He they. He they can give him they. He they. He they. He they. He they. He their their the. He the. He the. He's the. He's theepe. He their their their their their their their their the. their their their the. their their their their their their their th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He th. He the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's the. He's to the. He's to to theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. He's th after that. And then they string him up and put him up in the wicker man.
Thinking about building a wicker man in my backyard. Yes or no?
Sure, yeah, burn into the ground. No, I just feel like just have to keep my goats in.
Yeah. What if you thought that's where they just kept them? That's where they feed them. It's a goat hudg. Goad. Goat hath. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So, so. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So. So, the the. So, they. So, they. they. they. they. they. Yeah, they. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the. Yeah. the. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, th. the. Yeah, the. Yeah, thethey put him up in the wicker man's head, then his daughter
lights it on fire.
You're like, Roe and, pro-on!
He's just screaming at her, no, honey, no.
You have no relationship with this girl.
You have no relation to her.
And also like, she's straight up scammed you.
Like, she's not going to be like, oh, my dad says now. I wish he had dropped the torch with just a middle finger in the hair, like, fuck you, man.
Basically did.
You're not my real dad.
Killing me won't bring back your god damn honey.
That might have been my favorite line in the movie,
second to how to get burns.
My favorite thing happens at this point.
So the fire engulfs everything, the chickens, the chickens, they're all burning, and then he's burning to death and they pan to the barmaid, the bartender, and she just goes,
he's screaming and burning, I was like, I like this woman a lot. She's cool. And the blind
twins are saying something, I don't know, but they're both saying it. Keeble. Yeah, they're very very very weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird. They're very very very very very very weird weird weird weird weird weird weird. They're very weird weird weird weird weird. Yeah. Yeah. they're very weird. their. their. Yeah. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the saying it. Keep old cabal. Yeah, they're very weird and funny and just, and that's the movie.
And then the weirdest thing happens.
Which is that the credit starts to roll
and it's the movie is dedicated to Johnny Ramon.
Yeah.
Aqua? Say again?
Yeah, they were buds.
Who?
Nicholas Cage and Johnny Ramon deserves so much better than this shit movie to his dead friend. Johnny Ramon deserves so much better than this.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, I'll just plug in a little Ramon song right here.
Okay, which one, any of them?
Yeah, they're all the same.
Psychotherapy, it's a fucking jam, man.
Fine, they're all the same.
Just kidding with the ass.
I'm a theme. Like the Misfits. Yes, and A.C.D.
Now I got the lower eyes.
There's three variations on a theme.
No, you're right.
You're right.
Like the Misfitsits.
Yes.
And ACDC.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
All bands that I enjoy.
No.
You're a the shit. You ever listen to Cypress Hill Black Sunday? Every song is a fucking hit, you know why?
They're all the same song.
Yeah, that's it.
You did it.
So, that's this movie.
We're gonna move on to the,
Rating's face, ratings face!
That was fucking fantastic.
That was fucking fantastic. Do you want to go first? I feel like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, to to to to to to to keep, th, th, thi, keep, keep, th th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep, keep keep keep keep keep keep keep keep to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi to thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi really proud of it. That was really, really fucking fantastic.
Do you want to go first?
I feel like you're real hyped right now.
Yeah, the whole lot of coffee.
I'm kind of insane.
I hated this movie.
Did you?
With the fury of a thousand sons.
But I just had a really great time talking about it with you. Yeah. But I feel like tha tha tha tha thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi. I'm thi. I'm that thi. I'm just thi. I'm that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. I'm thi. thi. I'm thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I feel thi. I feel like like thi it a better rating than I gave I Know Who Killed Me. What did you give that? A zero. Oh no. Well that doesn't,
that that paints you into a corner a bit doesn't it? I had such a good time talking about this. I'm gonna give this movie a one and that one is one note that I'm gonna tell everyone to go watch the original Wicker man. It's so f. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to watch the original Wickerman? It's so fucking good. Yeah.
It'll, it'll, oh, it's so good.
No, I don't mean to give you a heart attack.
But yeah, this movie is, it's a whole lot I didn't even try.
They got a beautiful location.
They got a beautiful set designer and like the costumes were gorgeous. I kind of want to be Ellen Burston as Sister Summers Isle as the parade face for Halloween next year.
And when people ask me what I am, I'll be like, oh I'm Sister Summers Isle.
I might be mistaken, but I'm pretty sure in the original movie, Christopher Lee's character's name Lord Summer Isle.
Which is so much easier to say than Sister Summers Isle. Yeah. There's like an extra S in there that just messes the whole thing up. Yeah.
And sometimes he's just calling our Summers Isle, Summer's Isle, which is the name of the
place. So he's just yelling. It's like me just being outside being like, Pittsburgh?
Pittsburgh? Like, who's going to answer? Oh, sister myself to be Sister Pittsburgh? Sister Pittsburgh, hmm.
Katie. Yeah. Tell me all your thoughts on this movie. You're gonna hate this.
No, no, not at all. I hate. It was awful. This movie is fucking awful. It's kind of fun.
Sure. It's kind of fun because it's stupid. Nicholas Cage loses his mind a bunch.
It makes no goddamn sense and then he gets set on fire at the end. So for that, I'm giving it a four.
I'm totally for this.
Yeah.
Do we mention how many women he punched in the face?
Oh, so many women.
He legit Kung Fu kicks Lea Lili Sobieski.
Bad lamenting.
Ha ha ha.
Oh, boy, howdy.
Yeah, how, how, how, how, howdy. Yeah. So, that was the movie. Hey, Alan, you know what we have this week?
What do we have this week, Katie?
We have a... Mailbag.
Mailbag.
Okay, this is from Great Listener, Emily.
Oh. Hi there, Katie.
So this one's not addressed to you.
That's fine.
Here's a...
Here's a mail bag. For you. On last week's episode you said that you've done tons of research on Megan Fox.
I'm wondering if you came across the fact that she has toe thumbs. I was really secretly
hoping you'd mention this weird trade of hers because I also have toe thumbs, i.e. thumbs
toes like toes, not actual toes for thumbs. And this fact is literally the only reason why I know who Megan Fox is. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't th. I hadn't thi. I hadn't thi. I hadn't thi. I hadn't thi. I hadn't thi. I hadn't tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm tho. I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I'm thu, I thu, I thu, I thu, I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm th. I'm thi. I'm the. I'm theeeeat theeat theeeeat theeeeat thoom. I'm thoom. I'm theeeat the. I'm the. meaning Jennifer's body. And I've never seen anything that Megan Fox has acted in, but I got really excited about the episode anyway.
Emily, I did, and then I realized
after we finished recording the Jennifer's body episode,
that I didn't get to get in any of my great Megan Fox research,
but in Jennifer's body, hopefully you've watched it.
There's a scene where you can of her hand and I was like what the fuck is that thumb it looks like a toe yeah her thumbs look like toe she has toe thumbs
it's a it's like teradactyls that's a that's a that's a flying dinosaur
yeah it was a plant yeah polydactyl is when you have more fingers than you you think that thi that is not a regular ass thumb I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th I th is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tho tho tho the tho the the the the the the the the the the the the the the is the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tho tho tho like a regular-ass thumb. That is not a regular-a-thumb!
I saw it and I was like, is that a hand double or something?
Because I found it unreasonable that she would have anything other than, of course, the most
gorgeous thumbs, but it's pretty interesting.
It's a cool look.
Oh, yeah, that's a hard looking thumb, man.
It's a toe. It's a tho. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. It's a tow. tow. tow. It's a tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a thumb. It's a tow. tow. tow. tow. tow. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. thumb. It's a thumb. It's a sweet. Sorry, she has a terodactyl for a hand. I don't know. Emily, I'm sorry, you have a terra dactyl for a hand.
Are you typing okay with a plant on your hand?
Katie, I did want to mention another mail bag if you've got a second.
Oh, I would love to have another two in a row.
Two in a row.
Two in a Twitter. A Twitter. Sure. At Real Donald
Trump. It says, listen to where the fanbuleants. They're my favorite new podcast.
I hate these endorsements we're getting. I hate them. Chris Chrissy, stop calling me.
Is Chris Christie calling you? No. I didn't do Bridgegate. I didn't do it. You definitely did. You definitely fucking did. You piece of shit. You look like a Mario character. No. No. No. No. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. to. the to the the the the th. the the the the th. the the the the the to to to to to to to to to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their th. th. th. the their th. th. th. the th. th. the the the the the their their their. their their their. I fucking did. You piece of shit. Total piece of shit. You look like a Mario character.
Boom boom. Boom.
At um, underscore, okay. I love that. Said, Adwareo Famulence, thanks for making the shitty Monday
mornings bearable. Love the podcast. Oh, that's awesome. That's a little, uh,
not a mail bag, but it's really nice. Super sweet, thank you.
Thank you.
So thanks, Emily and thanks, okay, um, oh, that's what I just said.
Thanks, guys.
Tartectal.
Thanks for always being there for us.
Yeah.
Speaking of, this is Alan. Pop it in here to let you know about some exciting news from
Cryptocurium. Jason will be doing a Holiday of Horror's Yuletide Mystery Box for the
Christmas season. The deadline for ordering this is November 30th, 2016. From the website, for
the holidays this year we focus on the darker aspects of the season to bring you the Holiday of horror's mystery box. This is a celebration of the coldest time of the holidays this year, we focus on the darker aspects of the season to bring you the
Holiday of Horror's Mystery Box.
This is a celebration of the coldest time of the year and the fear that lurks just beyond
the twinkling lights.
A few hints of what you can expect.
Christmas theme sculptures inspired by the legends and lore of the Yoltside.
Horrific custom artwork by guest creators.
Treats!
The Holiday of Horrors box is in response to numerous requests
from our customers to do a Christmas theme mystery box.
Thanks so much for the suggestions.
That's from Jason.
Go to Cryptocurium.com.
You will hear the website again in a little, just a minute.
And what did this by November 30th.
This is very exciting. So, you know, get into the Christmas spirit with some spooky horror stuff from
Cryptocurium's parcel of terror. Thanks guys. Cryptocurium of Crypto-caryms!
How did it get made? By Jason McKitrich. How did he make it? With resin and paint brushes.
Whoa, weird.
And he sculpts them. He makes these awesome, you guys know what we're talking about here.
Parcel of Terror. 35 bucks a month, you get these awesome boxes. And they have in them magnets, wall plaques.
Art from other folks that he brings in to do stuff for the boxes.
Stories, pins, candy. Just the sculpting and the work that Jason puts into these
things are so gorgeous. Oh and it comes in a car. Wob? It doesn't come in a car. No, it
comes with a swarm of bees. No, I'm sorry. It comes with the terodactile plant. You know,
they'll eat you those motherfuckers. They're carnivorous. It comes with none of these things. It just comes with awesome shit. Give Jason your money. Give Jason your money 35 bucks a month delivered right to your door you won't regret it. It's
Crypto Curium.com C-R-Y-P-T-O-C-U-R-I-M dot com. Let them know you heard about it
from us. Yeah and thank you And your friend, but not sponsor.
Dylan Gersmith.com.
Well, he's there.
He's all of our friends.
He's like the royal friend, but he's only sponsoring us.
He sent us a whole bunch of cool shit.
He sent us these awesome enamel pins of this goat with a, like a moon, goats.
Love moon goats.
It's these awesome back patches of the summoning the ancient gods art that he did. Oh nice. And these other little
patches that's 666 with the metal hands. Oh that's gonna really upset my
Nana. Don't show it to Nana. I'm gonna wear it at Thanksgiving. And my favorite
thing that he sent us at these little starter packs called Creep like me.
These are amazing. With an eye patch fangs and a little pin so we can look like Dillon Garet Smith. Does he have fangs? I think so.
Weird. Yeah. Cool. You can get your own Dillon Garit Smith art, illustrations,
whatever you want, buy his shit. Yeah. Stuff is totally awesome. Katie. Yeah.
What are we doing next week? Next week we are discussing a movie about crimes.
Crimes?
And punishment, but not punishment.
And...
Uh, crimes and the lack of punishment?
Yeah, the purge.
The purge.
I'm a purge.
I'm a purge.
I don't come up with something for next week.
We will have a fun purge thing next week. Nothing's as fun like purging, so. Is. Is. Is. Is. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. Is th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. And th. And th. th. th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And th. And, and punishment. And, and punishment. And, and punishment. And, and th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I. And, I th. And, I th. And, I th. And, I'm. And, I'm thi. And, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm thi. And, I'm, I'm thi. And, I'm thi. a fun purge thing. Yeah, nothing's
as fun like purging, so. Is this our first Ethan Hawk movie? I think so. Yeah. You don't
get a lot of him. No, I think you need more of those ROM movies. Yeah, or like a boyhood.
Those before or whatever's. Before Sunrise? Oh, yeah, with the women and the... And the love. Ew. So next we're going to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the first the first the first the first the first the first thi thi thi thi the first the first the first thi the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the first the the the the the the the the the the the the the the to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be the the. tho theathea theat. theat. tho. theat. theat. thus. the. theat. thus. the. the. the first th women and the love. So next week we're going to be
talking about 2013's the purge. We've been hit the 2000s hardly. I know we got us
clean we got to cleanse ourselves after that. So join us next week we'll talk
about the purge you can find that on Amazon's and Google plays and all that stuff and probably illegally on the internet. Sure. And thanks for listening to another episode of Werewulf with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with with w. We w. to to the w. th. th. th. th. the w. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the the the the th. th. th. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. theeeeeeeeea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. te. the. the. the. the. the. the internet. Sure. And thanks for listening to another episode of WearWorth Ambulance.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
How to get recorded?